#IM NOT GOOD AT SUSTAINING FRIENDSHIPS IM BAD AT MESSAGING

[splynter]

BARK BARK BARK CAN ANYONE HEAR ME

[violentviolette]

Do you have any tips on making friends as someone with aspd+npd? I’ve tried without success. If I do befriend someone, it lasts for a few months at best.

i think there's a few kind of tricks to it and a little bit of unlearning societal bullshit and a lot a bit of checking ourselves and the reality of our behavior

for me, it helped to first understand what kind of person i am in friendships, and what im looking for in others. having a real good understanding of what u want out of a friendship and how u function in one helps to be able to better know if u and someone else are going to be compatible right from the start

for example, i struggle to initiate conversations. if left on my own i will message someone maybe once or twice a week at most. not because i don't like them or dont value them, but just because my brain doesnt think a lot of thoughts on its own. but i do like to talk to others a lot, i just need someone else to initiate the conversation and give me a thought to build off of. because of this i tend to look for people who naturally talk a lot. who have a lot of thoughts and like to share them and dont mind if someone doesnt message them first. all 3 of the people who are closest to me have adhd and LOVE to infodump and pop into my messages with facts or thoughts or something they saw and so our friendships are well balanced, they like to begin conversations and i like to continue them. we both accept and value one another for our different natures and arent looking for something the other cant give

figuring out what ur ideal friendship looks like helps u realize and identify where ur priorities should be. what are u looking for in another person? what do u want to do together? ideally what does ur day to day interactions look like? what kind of support and level of investment are u looking for from them? what are u capable of and willing to give in return? for cluster b pds this also has the added benefit of helping us kind of check ourselves. is what we're looking for from someone else unhealthy or unreasonable? is the amount we're willing to give in return unreasonably low? if we want more from others, we must give more of ourselves in return, are we avoiding doing this and putting in that investment because we're allowing our disordered feelings to guide us? a big secret to making good friends is being one. good people who will treat u properly and be there for u and invest in ur friendship long term are not going to stick around if u arent giving that in return. and often because of our disorders we allow our delusional feelings and warped/unhealthy worldview to guide us. we inflate our own worth while downplaying theirs and think we're giving way more than we actually objectively are, while asking for an unreasonable amount in return. if people seem like they invest very little in us and leave us quickly, if it feels like other people are always the problem, there's a good chance its because we arent giving the amount of investment we need to or have too unreasonable of expectations to actually sustain a healthy relationship. the problem oftentimes is very much us, and we need to acknowledge that without shame and judgement in order to fix it. it doesnt make u an irredeemably bad person, but it does mean u have to fix that if u want to give urself a better chance at success

i also think a big thing that no one tells u is that like, ur going to burn through a lot of people looking for the right ones. its a process of elimination. u meet 10 people, become casual friends with 5 of them, and over the course of time, around 3-4 of them will drop off and u'll be left with 1 or 2 people who stick around longer, and that cycle repeats for as long as ur putting urself out there. and the longer time goes on, the more friends u will "lose" or have drop off, and thats a perfectly normal and natural thing. it takes time to build that core group of people who end up staying in our lives. its also very normal to end up with none sometimes and have to start from scratch, big shifts in our lives or big periods of change and growth oftentimes mean shedding old friend groups. it's very normal to completely start over with a whole new group of friends after things like high school, college, moving out, during recovery, after getting sober, ect. ect. and its normal when ur a young adult in ur early 20s to be changing friends a lot as u figure out who u are and what works for u in the 31 years i have been alive, ive made and kept 4 deep lasting friendships. i've lost 10 times that if we're counting everyone ive ever made friends with but eventually stopped talking to. so viewing it that way and understanding that its natural for ur friends to shift throughout ur life and for it to take time to find people who u can have meaningful and lasting relationships with i think helps take some of that pressure off. so dont sweat it too much, but take this time to really ask urself some introspective questions and decide what kind of person u want to be, if ur actions truly align with that person, and what kind of people u want in ur life. it helps a lot in the long run

[littlest-bugz]

poking you because I wanna be friends but dont know how to start a conversation /silly positive

- 🫶🏼

Friendship you say !! I would love that :Dc

I myself suck at initiating conversations, BUT I think a good place would to be find something we have in common,,,,, I don't know if I ever put my interests up publicly? I'll do so for you anon, since it may give us something to talk about <2

The Crew and Co. Collective Interests

Horror Media, but ESPECIALLY internet horror... so like, analog horror, digital horror, found footage, the likes. We do have some favorites tho!! and those are : Lacey's Games, The Mandela Catalogue, Vita Carnis, Daisy Brown, Everymanhybrid, Marble Hornets, Literally ANYTHING made by VibingLeaf on youtube, The Backrooms by Kane Pixel, and more that im probably forgetting

Drawing / Painting, both digital and traditional. We are character artists, and primarily character designers. So thats to say we suck at composition and backgrounds /silly/

Graphic Design. A good few of us toy around with designing logos, and flags, and userboxes- We love making pretty looking stuff because we cant work in a space that isn't aesthetically pleasing [shout out to on our our obsessive-compulsive disorders].

Writing / Poetry. I'm getting fired up at the thought of talking about my fantasy series, but I will sustain my control- We're HUUUUGE into writing, especially our own original stories, though we wish we had enough fandoms to write fics for. We tend to be a bit more goofy in our writing, and mature, but we've been told we have a decent writers voice for our characters which EEEEE when i was told that it was the biggest compliment ever,...

Speaking of fandoms!! We are in... literally none :( We don't know how to engage in fandoms anymore, or how to get attached to media, but in terms of fandom media, we like Steven Universe, KinitoPet, Minecraft [no mcyt's tho tbh], Stardew Valley, and Marble Hornets. I'm sure there is more, but I really don't interact in fandoms asides reposting fanart. We wish we could get attached to media like we did in our youth, but its an overall attachment issue :( We've lately been looking back into MLP stuff, but we can't draw ponies [we have pony ocs tho!]

Witchcraft / Paganism. We're a Solitary Witch with a 'specialization' in Candle Magick and Sigils.

Singing and Playing Instruments. Formerly, we were a Flute Player, but now we mostly play out 3rd baby, our Bass Guitar. We're very much music fans, and our musical roots on one side of my family goes back to, like, 1482 [thank you grandma for the genealogy folder on that one]. We mentioned it somewhere, but we have perfect pitch [as a result from all the music in our bloodline] and all we use it for is pitch matching tech. When we play our bass, thats how we do song covers tho! Because we can't read bass clef,,,, only treble.

Organizing Information and Data. Admittedly, this is more one specific cohost, but he's honestly gotten us all to like it to a certain extent.

Animation, stop motion and digital- We used to do traditional too, but it's wicked hard.

Crafting, but especially beaded bracelets and clay sculptures

Finally, our own ocverse. We have a hard time talking about it over tumblr dms because its so uncomfortable to message on [too used to discord], but you can literally get us going for hours, at least,,, if you heed the TWs of it, since our OCverse is rooted in our trauma.

and more...

If any are similar, or you just want to ask, feel free! Over anon or otherwise! I will also note that we love finding new media! We're terrible at it because we have bad anxiety when watching new media. But if youre willing to send it, I can try !!

[foolishgamers]

SOME (MORE) OSMP QUOTES FROM THE STREAMS TODAY (10/4)

*this is a very long post- you have been warned*

——————

“if you work hard enough labor can be free”

“dare we expand some crevices for a minute”

“wait, tubbo’s pregnant & ranboo’s the father?”

*joins call* “are you pregnant?”

“not being doesn’t work for me, i really like being alive”

“so how have things been? i heard you’re not pregnant”

“what’s your preferred type of minor?” “i can’t really answer that”

“how do we get rid of you sneeg”

“are you alright? you did one of those dsmp lore sighs”

“yeah i found toby face down on the lawn”

“i can be your rehab”

“you literally talk in crayola crayon”

“i need to go chop down shit, for therapeutic reasons”

“friendship over with tubbo, ranboo is my new beloved”

“i thought no one was supposed to get married without me”

“hear me out, i’m going to make a tik tok at your wedding”

“strip mining is dead”

“anyways” *messages sneeg ‘you’re out the server’*

“you have made me a worse man”

“i worry i talk about myself too much. how are you?”

“can i burn down your house for a vlog”

“my above average body is pulling down my below average mind”

“alright schlatt” “OKAY SNEEG YOURE OUT”

“the tree is naked? WHAT??”

*tommy messages wil : ‘HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!’*

“i’ll sniff out the diamonds for you!” *aggressive sniffing noises*

“dudddde, you can’t just go around taking other peoples kids tubbo!” “sorry, it happens”

“you’re gaslighting me!”

“what’s with you and arson today?” “ i just love arson.”

“ranboo, i need you to show up to toby’s house with a knife and a dream”

“if tubbo dies and i’m even slightly responsible i’ll be like “man that’s annoying’ “

“me and charlie damillio? i’d get rid of tubbo for that”

“i’m sorry i kept trying to murder you” “when did you try to murder me?”

“i don’t know what charlie damillio does”

“no don’t get hate haha, just make some tik toks”

“what does she do?” “…………………………… she’s great”

“why don’t the manifold’s have a show? keeping up with the manifolds”

“don’t do as i say or i do or anything”

“is tommy a brand risk wilbur?” “yup :)”

“phil’s making me a lil house and when he’s done i’ll give him a kiss”

“you can be friends with a lil kiss”

“what is a boy without his glass?”

“don’t pity laugh, give me my glass!”

“it’s so easy to upset you” “ that’s it i’m putting you down”

“why is niki ‘the cutest predator?” “because i am”

“im lost.” “that’s nothing new” 

“ you know what? i’m not girlbossing i’m manfailing”

“now i birth”

“tubbo where are you?” “he’s at my birthing pod”

“i woke up and chose to struggle”

“want to go build bridges with me tubbo?” “okay but i’m not doing any of the work.”

“niki, i’m in my fail era help me.”

“okay you just need to stop being a failure, can you do that for me?”

“tubbo, can i manipulate you to prove a point?”

“toby it sounds like you haven’t been gaslighted in a while”

“tubbo do you know where i left my child?”

“you keep her on the noose i’ll go build a home”

“i hope you feel better soon tubbo :D” “i don’t.”

“what are you doing tubbo?” “suffering”

*giggling* “why are you stealing a child tubbo?”

“i’ll pay you your fees for watching my child”

“your house is full of coal” “oh no santa!”

“im sick of being bullied, i’m gonna start bullying myself so you don’t have to”

“im gonna pee” “pissing circle let’s go!”

“WHERE IS THE GOOP KING”

“i don’t like spending time with you tubbo” “that’s how it should be”

“phil i need repent!”

“why are you taking your anger out on me?” “ i have to take it out on someone important to me”

“if i was a chicken what would i want”

“can you go follow someone else tubbo?” “ no i need to follow someone with a bad origin”

“you’ll never find me, it’s raining and i’m viscous”

“tubbo can i not have larceny committed against me real quick?”

“do you have a couple balls to spare?”

“charlie how do i milk you?”

“at least now we can milk him again”

“do you have any balls? “ “im ball-less. i’m neutered.”

“did you make that man give birth?”

“you hit him so hard he birthed a child!”

“if only someone produced enough content to sustain a hive.”

“tubbo don’t eat his slimey balls”

“charlie im double fisting you”

“give me a book and i’ll start writing history”

“get your balls here”

“gunky chunky funky man. taking the world one gunk at a time”

“i can’t believe you just causally gave birth”

“this started out as a reading of ‘real history’ and ended as a funeral”

“i think you should have the honor of naming my dead son”

these are all i got today but if i missed any good ones feel free to add :))

[butter3drainbows]

Title: Drunk Rice

Summary: Just a soft fic of Drunk! Risotto being touchy with his family friends.

(reposted this for all the pipz out there who spent their Valentines with friends and family. Happy Valentine’s Day yall🌹👌😂😘)

Music blared from the sound system as the club lights cast their blinding rays across the dancing bodies on the dancefloor. Formaggio and Pesci could be seen dancing, awkwardly in the case of the latter, from the table that the rest of the gang had occupied. Their group had just come from the hospital after paying their friend a visit from the ICU.

Gelato had only sustained minor injuries from the car crash, a few cuts and bruises here and there. Sorbet who had been behind the wheel had taken the brunt of the accident, sustained head trauma and a few broken bones.

Melone had insisted to go to the high end clubs (his treat) to loosen up after being assured by the doctors that their friends were in stable condition and are expected to have a full recovery.

News of the accident had rattled everyone but all of them knew who was distressed by the news the most.

“R’mber when you got fucked up by a train?”

Prosciutto sighed putting his drink down as he bore Risotto’s almost two hundred pound weight around his shoulders. Melone and Illuso snickered from across their round table as they captured the rare moment of Risotto, the serious and composed head recognized by the gang, inebriated and slurring; his speech less refined after too much of the expensive stuff Melone had ordered for them.

“I don’t think anyone would forget their near-death experience, Risotto.”

“That messed me*hic* messed me up so bad Pros,” Risotto cut in. He slammed his hand on the table jolting the empty bottles on top as well as the nearby patrons around their table.

“Why fuck were you even *hic* on the tracks? Don’t ya know tha’s dangerous?”

Prosciutto looked absolutely miserable which had Melone snorting a laugh. Illuso wasn’t doing any better, already doubled over and pounding the table with his fist. Prosciutto struggled to support Risotto’s upper body as the latter recounted the events that had almost gotten his friend killed as a child while making uncoordinated gestures with his hand.

“Always*hic* aaaaaalways tellin’ you guys*hic* t’be careful. ‘very year summun’ ends up *hic* in the fucking hospital…” Risotto shook his head removing his arm from Prosciutto’s shoulders, to the blonde’s relief, to pour himself another round. The amber liquid spilled on the side of his glass as he did, his motor skills not quite catching up with his intoxicated brain.

“Drink another round and you’ll be next.” Prosciutto chided before snapping his fingers at a passing cocktail waitress and ordering some water. He winced at the strain he had to endure on his shoulders as he stretched them to relieve the tension. His eyes signaled for Illuso to distance the alcohol from Risotto’s reach which meant collecting them all to one far-off side where Risotto’s long arms can’t reach. “That’s your last shot for tonight now drink your water and sober up a little. I’m not going to be one who’s going to haul your huge ass out of this club again if you don’t.”

Risotto laughed, the dimples on his cheek deepening the more he grinned, “You’d make *hic* a great nurse Pros.”

Prosciutto rolled his eyes “I am a nurse, Risotto. We work in the same hospital ah ah…!” Prosciutto stopped the burly arm that reached towards the collection of alcohol on Illuso’s side and slid a glass of water in front of the pouting mass of muscle.  

“Look at his face!” Illuso all but wheezed at the face Risotto was making, lip jutting out and red eyes sulking as he took a sip from the glass of water. Melone casted his eyes towards Ghiacco who had been slowly inching away from Risotto for the past few hours as he made his descent into intoxication.

“Well aren’t we silent today eh Ghiacco?”

Ghiacco’s eyes shot towards Melone dangerously, mouthing “Fuck.off.” at his grinning friend. He stiffened and muttered a curse when he felt the heavy weight of Risotto’s arm around his shoulder followed by the undeniable stench of alcohol.

“Ghiacco~”

Ghiacco chanced a cautious look at the direction of the drawl and was met with mirthful red eyes.

Fuck that’s unsettling. Ghiacco thinks he might never accept a grinning Risotto as something natural.

“Why’rnt ya drinking?”

“Leave him alone Risotto. You know he’s allergic to alcohol.”

The look on Risotto’s face can only be registered as surprise as he passionately expressed his disbelief and distress at the fact that his friend cannot properly enjoy any sort of alcoholic drink.

“Hey hey what’s happenin he-Hooooly shit!” Formaggio laughed when he caught sight of Risotto’s drunken state.  “Is Risotto drunk? Already?”

“What does it look like?” Prosciutto grumbled as Formaggio and Pesci took their seats around the table while Melone started to arrange drinks for them.

“Your kid is weak Pros. I had the ladies all round up for him and he still managed to bore them away.”  

“B-but I did as you told me and struck a conversation.”

“You think chicks would be into the logistics of fishing with lures vs. fishing nets?”

“I-it’s the only thing I could think about…” Pesci trailed off forlornly, disappointed at having his efforts fail even with the help of his fratello.

“We’ll have to work with your conversation skills. Get yourself a drink and maybe you’ll act less like a mamoni with some alcohol in your system.” Prosciutto scolded. What was he gonna do with this kid?

From beside him he watched Risotto continue to harass Ghiacco, the latter looking like he wanted to be anywhere else but beside the older man beside him. He scoffed, “Yes suffer as I did” he thought.

“I r’mbered when I first met’ya*hic*. Arrogant lil’ shit wasn’t he Pros?” Ghiacco winced knowing the memory too well. Risotto laughed through his nose remembering something, “But not as*hic* not as arrogant as ‘luso the day I met ‘im tha’s for sure.”

“Hey!”

A round of laughter resounded around the table. Risotto’s eyes become serious as he trained them on Ghiacco.

“You’re alright now though, aren’t you Ghiac?”  

“Yeah.”

“You can always talk to me. You know that right, fratello?”

“Tsk I know that.” Ghiacco’s tone was haughty but didn’t faze Risotto, “Life’s been less shitty so I don’t have anything to tell you.”

“Hmm tha’s good.”

Prosciutto’s lips twitched as he watched the resident hothead and the youngest of the group nod awkwardly at Risotto’s drunken mini-tirades. Prosciutto came to realize that this band of troublemakers had the common denominator of meeting Risotto first before coming together. Each had their own stories to tell, most of them not good like Ghiacco’s, but they had each other growing up which helped them in a way to not be consumed by the troubles of their past. They were all indebted to each other in some way and as Prosciutto sloshed his drink around his glass eyeing the people around his table, he couldn’t help but admit how grateful he was to be friends with this particular group of idiots.

He was pulled from his thoughts at the sound of glass shattering and he cursed at Risotto who apparently was not able to control the force of him “tapping” a wineglass with a spoon. He was unapologetic, muttering a half-meant “oops” as he put down the remains of the shattered glass on the table.

“I have something to say.” All attention was focused on Risotto. His voice had sobered considerably which meant he was about to drop some serious talk. After a while, his red eyes regarded the people surrounding the table.

“You know I love you guys right? I mean to me,” he gestured to all of them in an awkward wave, “you are all family. And family is important to me so please please take better care of yourselves. What happened last week should be the last time I see a brother wheeled into the ER covered in their own blood.”

Risotto listened to their sounds of agreement with Formaggio and Illuso drawing out “sooorry Risottoooo~” in the background. Risotto nodded, satisfied with their response.

“Siamo una famiglia, si?”

A collection of yeahs sounded from around the table. Melone raised his glass for a toast dedicating it to their years of friendship and the years to come. Each grabbed their own with Prosciutto slipping Risotto’s glass of water towards his wandering hand when it went too close to a shot glass. The others followed suit with loud exclamations of salud around the table. Prosciutto stopped mid-sip when he heard sniffles beside him.

“Jesus, Risotto…” He watched Risotto wipe his tears with his handkerchief, his eyes down casted but his lips smiling. The next thing he knew, Risotto was reaching towards him with his arm pulling the smaller man in a tight hug.   

“Ti voglio bene fratello.” Prosciutto clicked his tongue but returned the embrace anyway patting Risotto’s broad back as he mumbled small messages of thanks against his shoulder. His strained voice told Risotto to let up on his grip before he suffocates and the larger man released his hold around him but not before leaving a kiss on Prosciutto’s forehead. He then faced a wide-eyed Ghiacco, his intention the same but his messages considerably longer consisting of words of advice telling him to be less angry and how he will always see him as a baby brother.

“What the fuck, who’re you calling a baby brother. I’m a fucking grown ass man…” Ghiacco mumbled in his seat hiding the redness of his cheeks with his glass as he took a sip of his drink and rubbed the kissed spot on his cheek. It was clear that it was Risotto’s plan to embrace everyone when he got up from his seat and slowly walked his away around to the other side of the table. Illuso, not one for hugs, cursed and was ready to bolt from his spot but was held down by Formaggio and Melone.

“Let him.” Prosciutto sighed waving his hand exasperatedly, “Just…let him.”

 Risotto was a force to be reckoned with when he’s drunk and touchy, any attempts to deter him from hugging someone would be futile. He simply won’t stop until he has managed to wrap his arms around his target and say what needs to be said.  

“Now now, Illuso. Rice hugs are rare so you gotta enjoy this once in a lifetime treat.” Melone laughed.

“Yeah, ladies and gentlemen would kill each other for one of these. You’re lucky to get one for free.” Formaggio laughed alongside Melone as they held down their struggling friend.

Risotto managed to finish his personal mission of showering his friends with acts of affection with a little difficulty from Illuso as he was nearly the same size as him. Formaggio and Melone, he had no trouble with; the both of them meeting his embrace with open arms while muttering their own words against each other’s shoulders. Last was Pesci who he whispered a secret about Prosciutto caring for him more than he let on and that he shouldn’t let his harsh words get to him because he only wanted him to be the best that he could be. By the end of the hug, Pesci was tearing up on his own which caused Prosciutto to scold him again for being soft.

Boy’s night didn’t end until four am in the morning as all of them had no other plans or work scheduled for that day. Risotto as well as several others ended up being wasted after Formaggio funded another two rounds of the bar’s stronger selections. Prosciutto was all hissy about it of course cursing more than Ghiacco throughout the whole ordeal of chucking full grown men into the seats of his and Ghiacco’s car while threatening anyone who would dare ruin his car’s interior. Ghiacco was surprisingly silent throughout the process thinking that the blonde was cursing enough in two languages for the both of them. All had made it home safe that morning, each suffering through the effects of last night on their own by the time they woke up.

[thelifetimechannel]

In this week’s bonus content, Dave places prank orders on the local carapacian message boards.

JAKE: Ms roxys mom!! JAKE: Is it true your girlfriends a vampire? ROSE: Last time I checked. ROSE: To be technical, the Alternian term is "rainbow drinker". ROSE: There are some differences, but if you're going for "attractive young woman who drinks blood", you're on the money. ROSE: Similar to the way "Ms Roxys mom" is on the money, but the term I'm used to is "Rose". JAKE: Its polite for one to wait until such a time as one had been introduced. JAKE: As such im jake. Dont believe weve yet spoken! ROSE: No, not directly, unless we've exchanged witticisms in a memo somewhere. ROSE: I've lost track of those. ROSE: I think they've become independent sentient creatures. ROSE: As such, they must be allowed to flourish on their own, making their own decisions. ROSE: They're grown up now. They can make their own choices. JAKE: Just walkin off all on their lonesome huh? JAKE: Godspeed to you memos. What happens in you stays in you. ROSE: With a tear in my eye, I waved them off to memo university, where they'll learn hard truths about themselves while obtaining an education. JAKE: I hear theyre going into the communications field. Good for them! ROSE: I expect great things of them. ROSE: And plenty of tawdry hijinks. ROSE: But if you've been reading them, you'll notice we already have those. ROSE: Dave tried to order a pizza from a carapace agent. JAKE: He what. JAKE: Can you do that? ROSE: Dersites have their own message boards. Mostly focused on fashion, apparently, but you can post whatever you like. ROSE: I doubt he received his delivery. JAKE: Do carapaces have pizzerias and if so what the heck have i been doing with reheated alchemized food for the past five months? JAKE: I am alas a deprived man. I never knew what i was missing until jane started bussing us the captchas for her home cooking. ROSE: Honestly? I have no idea. ROSE: I did roam Derse for a few months in another timeline, but I didn't have culinary experiences on the mind. ROSE: I can relate, though. ROSE: Most of my background was in microwave dinners. ROSE: Which I look back on with fondness now, after what we've been subsisting on for the last few years. ROSE: Which brings us back to the original topic, more or less. ROSE: Yes, this outfit has vampires now. That's a thing that we have. JAKE: Man. You guys were off having all the fun on the magical hijinks. JAKE: Not that tomb raiding wasnt a blast but you know there were no vampires. ROSE: As many of the more romantic novels would suggest, it's a bit of a burden. ROSE: But an asset if you want to keep your plans after being shot through the abdomen, or so she tells me. JAKE: So does it come with the unholy cravings and aversion to the daylight or is this weird alien vampiracy? ROSE: Actually, she's one of the few of her kind that enjoys the sun. ROSE: As for unholy cravings... ROSE: That depends on your definition. ROSE: *eyebrow waggle* JAKE: Er. JAKE: The blood drinking i meant the blood drinking!! JAKE: Gosh what you two do together is your own private matter. *tugs collar of god tier cape.* ROSE: She's working on that. ROSE: She won't go for your jugular without permission, if that's what you're worried about. JAKE: Good to know. Im not presently in a state of mind where id be interested. ROSE: Not that many people enjoy the subtle pleasures of being lunch. JAKE: I am an open-minded man. JAKE: But i dont think im into vore. ROSE: Based on what I've heard of the clutter in Jade's home, you may have been into just about everything else. ROSE: But then, fetishes don't always cross universes. JAKE: ! JAKE: Hey now no fair going through a mans dirty laundry! JAKE: What if i dragged out your alt-selves smut rags? ROSE: Relax. I've never seen any of it first hand. ROSE: The three who traveled with access to the house, on the other hand... ROSE: Also, I have smut rags? ROSE: Where are they? ROSE: I must see these immediately. ROSE: I wonder if I had the same usernames. JAKE: Funnily enough i hear you were specialized in vampire penny dreadfuls with real gals of the shadows. JAKE: Roxy did some digging and uncovered one of your many many psuedonyms. ROSE: I'll give you a king's ransom to get me copies and make sure my brother never finds out about this. ROSE: It's bad enough he uncovered my fanfiction.net account. JAKE: I will exchange it for your silence on whatever youve heard on alt-mes personal life. JAKE: Especially to dirk! JAKE: Well dirk... dirks one matter but definitely not hal. JAKE: Ill find some way to bribe jade and the rest. ROSE: I'll keep what I know hush hush. ROSE: Jade was evasive, though. ROSE: Mostly because she didn't want anyone to know you were dead. ROSE: I do know you had a passion for washed out blue pictures of women, though. I'll keep mum on that. ROSE: And the potential of illegitimate children scattered around the tri-state area. ROSE: You should always be careful about giving your full name to people over the Internet. Sometimes they do some digging. JAKE: Wait what. JAKE: What?? JAKE: Never mind i dont want to know! JAKE: Dirk wasnt exactly pleased about his alt self but as both men are apparently very very dead their checkered pasts shall lie with them. ROSE: As befits them. ROSE: Jade did use your past behavior to shame me, I'm afraid to say. ROSE: But it was yours, not his, and it was mostly to dissuade me from my familial path of jumping out the relationship plane without a parachute. ROSE: Apparently my genes don't have the monopoly on that kind of extreme evasive technique. JAKE: Oh... JAKE: Oh great. JAKE: Im an example. JAKE: A "cautionary tale" even!! JAKE: Madam let me just briefly say that by our deep emotional conversations that it does in fact take two to tango! JAKE: I wasnt the one who burned that particular bridge anyway. ROSE: Don't worry, we're all cautionary tales at this point. ROSE: That's what mythology is all about. ROSE: Respect your elders. Stay away from taboos. Don't have sex with cows. ROSE: The lessons from Greek mythology alone are practically endless. JAKE: The ol boys sound like they knew how to party. ROSE: That and not much else. JAKE: Did they do anything but go on adventures and cheese off the gods? JAKE: And hoe down like there was no tomorrow? ROSE: There were a lot of curses. ROSE: Our family tree may be just as convoluted, but hopefully we can avoid some of the drama. JAKE: I hope we got that out of our system now without having to see a man about a horse. ROSE: I think we've done a decent job of it. ROSE: I heard all of you had a blowout. ROSE: Two blowouts actually. ROSE: An emotional one and then a physical one. ROSE: We felt the aftershocks of the latter. JAKE: Yeah... JAKE: But we worked it out. JAKE: The physical blowout was the result of teamwork and friendship! JAKE: The emotional one not so much but its ok now! ROSE: That's been the story of our lives so far. JAKE: Just give dirk a hug if you get the chance ok? JAKE: He needs it. ROSE: Would he appreciate it? ROSE: I know my brother is worse than a bad kudzu infestation, but my ectofather seems standoffish. JAKE: No no trust me on this one hes on you he doesnt want to let go. JAKE: He just has a hard time initiating is all. JAKE: But hes down for some awesome platonic embraces almost all the time. ROSE: I see... ROSE: I'm spotting the problem. ROSE: We may be too alike. Someone else may have to lift our arms and gently wrap us around each other. ROSE: Then, once the hug is properly secured, it can become self-sustaining. ROSE: Maybe. JAKE: I will have to be the middle man then. ROSE: You'll broker our accord. ROSE: Anyway, unlike our illustrious Greek forebears, we're not myths written down. We can break our patterns. ROSE: I think we've already begun. ROSE: If I have to learn to initiate physical contact while not three sheets to the wind, maybe that's another step in the right direction. JAKE: I will be the one delicately managing the lamprey tendrils of strider-lalonde limbs. ROSE: Will you now? JAKE: I mean. Why not? ROSE: Far be it from me to impede on awkward sibling hugs. ROSE: I'll look forward to it.

[formulatemotif]

just. cut it all off with aiden and ruby today

i said this:

hey guys. i don’t know how to say this. the past few years of being both of your guys’s friends has been really fun, and i think, when i was younger, that we had some good times. now, though, i’m not the same person, and i don’t think that you are, either. i definitely see the merit in a lot of our interactions, but lately i feel like i’ve been experiencing a lot more of the bad than the good. trust me when i say that i know i’ve made my fair share of fuckups in the past, but they don’t seem to equal everything that has been done to me in return. it may not be intentional (and i totally get that!) but i don’t think this is sustainable for me anymore.

please know that this is really hard for me to do. i cherish the memories we’ve made together and all the time i’ve spent with both of you. i care about you even now, and all i’ve ever wanted is for you two to be happy. i know it seems counterintuitive that i’m doing this, but at some point i have to do what is best for me. i have mulled over this for several months now. you absolutely have the right to be upset, and you can air your grievances as much as you want, i’m all for that. i don’t want to guilt trip you at all; you can say exactly how you feel.

then ruby said something along the lines of “i was expecting this, i will really miss you” and i took it in the worst way i was like wtf ur fine then ? fuck u! heres what i said before i blocked them on discord like a middle schooler

i guess i always cared more than you did, but for future reference, please don’t trail people along the same way you did me. all those times you reassured me of our friendship hurts more than anything. i can’t believe i poured so much of myself into this relationship and i’m met with apathy at its closure. i am distraught and you’re completely fine. i really don’t want to leave things on a bad note but i had to say that. i hope you do well in the future

thennnn they said this to me on imessage:

i know this is probably really rude to send on here after you already stopped messaging me on discord but i just really wanted to get this across. im sorry i came off as apathetic, i know i have a habit of doing the ‘everything is fine!’ bit after something major, but im still kind of processing everything and i didnt want to come off as mad or upset with you for your decision. its tearing me whats going on and to lose someone so dear to me that ive known for so long. there were so many times you were there for me when i didnt deserve it or didnt even want to admit i needed someone there for me in the first place and im so grateful to have had you as a friend. ive been distraught and practically bawling since i got home just figuring out how to feel about all of it and the last thing i want is to leave off the way it is right now. things have gotten so strained between us but really do i care about you and the years we spent together and i just want you to be ok. please dont feel like you have to respond, i just wanted to get this across. im sorry again

and i was like. duh why tf did i freak out like that. and now i feel really guilty. i said this tho

thanks for reaching out, im sorry i cut you off and took it in the worst way possible. you were a really good friend to me too and i don’t want things to end poorly either because i care about you so so so much. im so glad you respect my decision, and maybe we could be friends again someday, but you know how i feel for now. i really really really hope for the best for you

and aiden still aint really said shit but he has been all snippy w me although i have been snippy w him. he picked up his clothes and rubys stuff too

maybe im just like. not a good friend at all. you know. maybe Theyre the ones that need better friends because .

[army-author]

jimin scenario | my lie for you (pt.2)

part one | part two | epilogue

♡ He’ll keep up this lie to keep you smiling ♡

genre: angst, romance

word count: 6.0k

warnings: mentions of alcohol

For a while, Jimin really is over you. He’s over you unknowingly breaking his heart every day. He’s over you keeping him up every night, stuck in an empty fantasy. He’s over you making him fall in love over and over again, sinking deeper, hurting harder, giving more. And he’s over the flings with girls that will never replace you. He’s over the parties every night, rebelling against his parents just to please you. He’s over the lie he’s sustained for five years to keep you smiling, while you remain cruelly oblivious.

But quickly his resolve begins to fade. He begins to wonder how you are, what you’re up to, how life is with your new boyfriend.

It shouldn’t have been this easy to slice you out of his life. You should have put up more of a fight. But now Jimin finds himself spending school breaks with Namjoon and Yoongi, slowly losing all sense of the friendship he once had with you, and slowly losing his mind.

Namjoon and Yoongi are easier company than you, that’s for sure. They’re so much more mellow; all they ask is that Jimin shows his face at the poetry club, and nods along when they ramble about the joys of writing in free verse. Soon, going to the classroom where their poetry club meets feels routine for Jimin – on autopilot, his legs lead him there every lunchtime. Sitting on one of the desks, surrounded by the comforting smell of old books and chalk, Jimin feels that honesty flows freer here – preferably in iambic pentameter.

Still, he finds it hard to force the truth past his teeth – old habits are hard to bludgeon to death. At least he is able to admit that not everything in his life is peaches and roses: “Y/N and I had a fight. We’re not talking anymore.”

Namjoon and Yoongi’s consolatory words feel alien to him. Seeing their worry fills Jimin with guilt, and reminds him why he never opened up in the first place. His honesty is a burden to others. But he’s too tired to fake a smile. The truth, in the form of a frown, is all he can give at this point.

At least they don’t press him further. After some murmured advice, they go back to their poetry, and leave Jimin to his thoughts. He appreciates their lack of curiosity. He doesn’t want to go into details, doesn’t even know if he can. All he knows is that your friendship cracked in two. He wants to forget about it.

But that’s rather difficult when you’re always there in the background - in the corridor, in class, by the fence outside school, everywhere, reminding Jimin of the raw wound that throbs in his chest. Every time his eye catches yours in the corridor, you both quickly look away, pretending you don’t know each other. Like strangers.

Jimin tells himself he’s not aching inside. Another lie.

“You’re looking pretty down,” Namjoon says, as Jimin enters the clubroom yet again.

“Hmm…? Yeah…” Jimin doesn’t bother saying any more, taking his seat and picking up one of the books Namjoon left lying around: Lawrence Dunbar. Jimin can’t even pretend to understand it.

“Yoongi and I are actually going out this Friday,” Namjoon says, peering at Jimin over the top of his poetry notebook.

“Mmmhmm?” Jimin flicks through a few pages, random words popping out:

We wear the mask that lies and grins…

“And we were wondering if you wanted to tag along.”

Jimin’s cheeks puff out, considering. To him, ‘going out’ means drinking, hitting the nearest club, and then dragging you home at three in the morning. He has a feeling Namjoon has something a lot tamer in mind. “Where were you planning on going?”

“To the diner down town. We’ll eat something unhealthy, talk about our problems, just hang out...”

“What Namjoon’s trying to say,” Yoongi chimes in, “is that we want you to go out and have fun. You’ve been moping around this room every chance you get, and something tells us you’ve been going home to mope around your room as well.”

“I don’t know…” The idea of going out without you is foreign to Jimin. It was always the two of you, facing the world together. It’s as if someone has ripped away his other half and is expecting him to carry on with blood spilling everywhere.

“Come on, you can’t keep living like this,” Yoongi presses, “Seeing the world outside your own head will do you some good.”

Jimin’s nails dig into the paper cover of the poetry book he’s holding. “Okay, but I’m only agreeing so that you stop bothering me about it.”

The smiles of triumph that pass over his friend’s faces almost make Jimin smile back.

♡♡♡

The diner they drag him to is like nothing Jimin’s visited before. With his wealthy family, only the poshest restaurants were acceptable; with you, only the cheapest fast-food was an option. This diner is something in between. Not trashy, but not classy either. The floor is decorated with sticky pink and white tiles, the walls are covered in retro neon signs, and there are novelty coasters on all the tables. There’s even a juke box in the corner, wheezing out old songs.

Namjoon and Yoongi choose a seat by the window, giving prime view to the street outside, where night is slowly slipping in as lights flicker on.

“This is nice,” Jimin comments.

“Aren’t you glad you came out?” Yoongi smiles, as a waitress brings their drinks to the table.

Jimin hums in agreement, and takes a sip his soda, his full mouth giving him an excuse not to speak. As Namjoon and Yoongi go on to joke about their eccentric maths teacher, he focuses on the street outside. Occasionally, his friends try to tempt him into their conversation, but Jimin only manages a few mumbled responses before he slips back to his own thoughts.

The city passing by, with the shoppers, the party-goers, the couples out on dates - it all makes him feel strange. He grasps for the words to describe what it is, but he can’t explain it – all he knows is that he’s missing out on something. The world’s rotating, moving, existing out there, and he’s closed off from it, feeling like he hasn’t experienced enough in his life. Maybe it’s because he was following too closely behind you, living through you, rather than for himself. Still, he feels that somewhere out there, you’re getting ready, going out, having fun without him and despite all his thoughts before now, he wants to be with you, following behind. Even if it robs him of his own life.

He should stop thinking about you, shut off this part of his brain. But… but… but…

… isn’t one of your local haunts close to here? He thought this street looked familiar. If you turn right out of the diner, follow the curb for a few feet, and go down a back alley, you’ll find steps leading down to a club in the basement of an old record shop. You always liked the music they played there. He wonders if you’ll be there this evening.

Instinctively his hand falls to his phone in his pocket, the only connection he has left with you. Your number saved in his contacts is tantalisingly close, just below his impatient fingers.

He pulls the phone out, and taps on his conversation with you, left on mute.

Strangely, miraculously, there are some new messages from you, only delivered an hour ago:

Y/N: jimin, im going out clubbing this evening – do you know the one in the basement of the record shop?

Y/N: come along if you want

Y/N: i hate fighting like this

Y/N: and i hate being away from you…

Y/N: so please come?

How can you send messages like this and expect him to be okay? This is the sort of thing you should text to an ex-boyfriend, not an ex-best friend. With behaviour like this, you were asking for a kiss, getting Jimin confused, conflicted, crammed full of emotions with no outlet, except through his lips against your own.

But despite your cruel oblivion, he hates being away from you too. No matter how strong his desire for a clean break is, his heart is weak, wobbling precariously in his rib cage - barely mended, yet ready to shatter again. He can’t bear it.

“Guys, I’ve got to go,” Jimin says, slapping a few notes down on the table to pay for his portion, “It’s getting pretty late.”

Namjoon and Yoongi let him go without much of a fight, only calling out, “Be careful on the way home,” as Jimin exits the diner. They’re none the wiser to the storm that’s brewing in his head.

Rather than turning towards his house, Jimin heads in the opposite direction, aiming for the alley, where the nightclub lies tucked off the main street. Aiming for where you might be - his magnetic north.

As soon as he arrives, he knows it’s a bad idea. The queue outside is long, and in the plummeting temperature of a sunless evening Jimin would rather be inside, undercovers. Yet, he can’t seem to drag his feet in the opposite direction.

His heart bloating with self-loathing, he steps into line, and waits to be let inside.

This is bad. He can taste it on the tip of his tongue, like the tingling you get from eating too much chocolate in one go. But, he’s searching for you in the crowd, and searching for the empty calories you’ll feed him – making him feel good when you give him attention for a few seconds before returning to Taehyung to give him all your love. Jimin’s craving a sugar rush… and a heart attack.

The music inside is too loud, and the alcohol is too expensive. The heady atmosphere, the swimming lights, and the smell of sweat is all your element, not Jimin’s. He’s not sure how to tackle them without you. Automatically, he turns to the bar, sitting down and ordering himself some liquid confidence.

To his right, a girl is sitting, sipping on a margarita. Over the sugar-coated rim of her glass, she flashes Jimin a smile, before her eyes flicker away again. Jimin knows this game. Giving her a once over, he sees she’s a year or two older than him, her more mature body suiting the short black dress that hugs her curves. Any other night Jimin would return her smile, buy her another margarita, and with a few silver-tongued words he’d have her for himself. But he promised he wouldn’t do that anymore. Filling the hole you left with booze and women never helps. Booze evaporates, and women just drift away in the morning with sighs, smiles, or sometimes tears. Tears are the worst.

He suddenly feels disgusted by the drink in his hand. Turning his attention away from the bar, he scans the crowd, searching faces for the features he’s memorised so well – well enough to reconstruct in his dreams. He’s ready to give up, when finally, he spots you, under the purple and blue spotlights spitting from the ceiling. Your face is squeezed into a wide smile as Taehyung spins you around, hands pressed to your waist.

So he’s found you. Now what? Jimin hasn’t thought this far ahead. Should he go over and talk to you, try to make amends? Should he find another dance partner and live it up, showing off how he’s surviving without you? Or should he just leave?

As he’s considering his options, you twirl away from Taehyung, giggling, and your eyes find his in the crowd. Your smile falters. For a second Jimin almost convinces himself that you’re hurting too. Then the crowd surges, and you’re out of sight. Probably for the best.

He stands up, downs his drink, and turns to the girl at the other end of the bar. Coyly, she smiles his way, and the rest of Jimin’s night is locked in place. With a jerk of his head, he indicates for the girl to join him, and she pulls him to the dancefloor. Under the neon lights, Jimin lets the music sweep him up, finding freedom as his body moves to the pounding track. The girl by his side presses against him. He can feel every curve of her body, as good as the little black dress promised.

Song after song blurs past. Jimin’s breath grows unsteady and his hair begins to stick to his damp forehead. He shouts something to the girl at his side about getting more drinks, and she nods, probably not understanding. Glad of a break, he detaches himself from her hold and goes back to the bar.

At the same moment – the worst… or best timing - you emerge from the crowd, going to the bar yourself. Noticing Jimin, you wave. When he doesn’t reciprocate, you pull out your phone and text something.

Jimin’s hand goes to his pocket, where his phone lies lifeless, your name still marked on mute. Knowing he shouldn’t, he glances at his phone:

Y/N: hey

Y/N: you came :)

Jimin pushes his phone back into his pocket. He’s over you. He meant it. At least… he meant to mean it. But as the evening wove its way along, he forgot all that, let himself get swept up in his own pining.

Now would be a good time to leave.

You stop him before he can get away. Your lips move, but Jimin can’t hear you above the roar of the club.

When he shakes his head in reply, you grab his hand. With surprising force, you pull him into the bathroom by the bar and lock the door behind you. The sounds of the club drains into a muffled haze on the other side.

“What is wrong with you?” Jimin rubs at his wrist where your fingers dug into his skin seconds before.

You run a desperate hand through your hair. “Sorry… it’s just… you – you keep ignoring me, keep running away and... I didn’t know what else to do…”

A cold settles over Jimin. “Yeah, well I’ve been running away for a reason.”

Your lips wobble slightly, but you pull back a smile. “Right…”

Above you, the bathroom lights flicker, the movement sensors shutting down when neither of you move. A thick blackness settles over you as the lights snap off.

“Why is that?” you finally ask, “What did I do?”

The truth struggles in Jimin’s mouth, wanting to get out – if he could just say: “Because I love you, and you hurt me.” But he can’t get it out. This old habit won’t die.

“Whatever,” you say after a painfully long silence, “I guess it’s selfish to want you back.”

Jimin’s face feels hot, pain and pleasure rising up at the words ‘want you’. He’s grateful for the darkness that hides his feelings. “Yeah… selfish.”

“But, Jimin,” you say, your voice seeming softer and more intimate coming from a faint shape in the darkness, “These past few days without you have hurt me so much… I’ll do whatever it takes to get our friendship back.”

What if that’s not what Jimin wants? He wants to scream, shout out, stop it all, but his mouth is dry and his throat is empty. If he can’t have you the way he wants you, he’d rather let go altogether. Being this close, physically, without being emotionally close is torturous. Jimin’s hands fumble through the darkness for the lock on the door.

“Whatever it takes,” you repeat. Jimin hears your feet scuffing the tiled floor as you take a step closer. So close he can feel your breath, sweet smelling, on his cheek.

And then your lips reach his.

A thousand feelings cascade through Jimin. He’s unable to identify any of them except the primal desire, and the primal fear. Your mouth moves against his, desperate, searching – like you’re trying to pry his lips open and spill the truth. Jimin’s body compiles before he can push you away, melting at your touch. He opens up and lets you in to do your worst, all while his brain screams “Stop!”

Ripping you away from him is like tearing off his own skin.

You stumble back a few feet and the lights flicker on again.

It’s Jimin’s turn to get angry. Is this what you felt when he kissed you at the party? Used. Dirty. Empty. He’s just another outlet for your cheap thrill obsession – another way for you to break the rules, break your new boyfriend’s heart, break everything apart. Jimin wants to break something too, smash the wall, slam the door, shatter the bathroom mirror where he sees himself reflected, not recognising his own pale face.

“Jimin…” your voice is small, as you take another step back, leaning against the opposite wall. Beside the white tiles you look ghostly, “I just-”

“What – you just what?” Jimin’s fists ball by his side as he tries to push the feeling of your lips from his mind – so soft… so warm…

A wry laugh escapes you. “I don’t know… I don’t know what I’m doing anymore…  I’m going crazy. I just… I miss you, okay?”

“So it’s fine to kiss me while your boyfriend waits outside? What happened to being in love with him, huh?” Jimin shakes his head. You blur in and out of focus as tears rise, “What? He’s not good enough now? Is breaking his heart not enough?”

You bite back a sob, crossing your arms across your chest. “I don’t know anymore, Jimin. I don’t feel like anything’s enough, right now. I’m just – I’m lost without you. I don’t remember what it’s like to keep going without you by my side.”

Whatever anger Jimin has left fizzles out, leaving a heaviness in its wake. “Maybe that’s why we should take a break from each other – remember what it’s like to go on without the other.”

The tears you were holding back begin to spill, clumping your mascara. “Maybe…”

On any other night Jimin would have been by your side in an instant, his arms snaking around to pull you away from whatever’s hurting you. But now – it’s him causing this pain. And he can’t touch you. Not after promising to let go - to keep living without relying on you. You’re his oxygen tank, but he needs to learn to breathe alone.

“Maybe,” he repeats, and the word hangs in the air as he unlocks the door and leaves you shivering in the bathroom.

♡♡♡

Y/N: Jimin

Y/N: sorry… about last night

Y/N: i have a few things i need to sort out in my own mind

Y/N: you were right… we need some time apart

Y/N: im going to do some thinking

Y/N: and i hope you can forgive me when i make it out the other side of this…

♡♡♡

Jimin flicks through one of the books left lying in the poetry clubroom, waiting for Namjoon and Yoongi to arrive after class. He’s searching for a particular poem. At last he lands on the page he wants.

‘We Wear The Mask’ by Lawrence Dunbar. His eyes glide over the words, drinking them up:

We wear the mask that grins and lies,

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes, -

This debt we pay to human guile;

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,

And mouth with myriad subtleties.

The door opens, knocking Jimin from his trance.

“Enjoying Dunbar?” Namjoon asks.

Jimin blushes, embarrassed to be caught in the act. “Yeah… I don’t really understand it, but I like this poem.”

“If that’s the case, you should try to write a response to it.”

Jimin cocks his head at this. “Write a response?”

“Yeah, after all – you’re a member of the poetry club now. You need to write a poem. That was our condition for you staying, wasn’t it?”

Jimin’s eyes fall back to the words in front of him, overwhelmed. “I didn’t think you were serious…”

“I’m not. Not really,” Namjoon says, “Still, if this poetry moves you, you should try to explain why…”

“Well…”Jimin pauses to consider.

Patiently, Namjoon waits for him to sort his thoughts.

“The poem’s about deceit, right?” Jimin begins, “About how we all wear masks, and hide behind smiles, and pretend that our lives are better than they really are. But in the end, we get swept up in our own lies, let them squeeze – like… like snakes – and drain us of anything that we might be… until we’re…  we’re nothing but the masks we hold up.” Jimin’s face heats up. He suddenly feels exposed, like he’s turned himself inside out and let Namjoon examine his vital organs. It’s about more than just poetry at this point.

But rather than the laughing, Namjoon says, “You should write some of those thoughts down. There’s a poem hiding in there somewhere.”

“…They were just my honest thoughts,” Jimin says, brushing at the pages between his fingers and avoiding Namjoon’s gaze.

“Well, by being honest, you’re already breaking away from your own mask.” Jimin looks up to see Namjoon’s dimples popping up as he smiles.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

♡♡♡

The next couple of days, Jimin finds himself writing in his spare time, small pieces of poetry (if they can even be called that) scribbled in a spare notebook. Getting his honest thoughts down on paper makes his chest feel a little lighter, allows him to admit the feelings he never realised existed. As his pen scratches at the paper, he scratches away at his own surface.

Sitting alone in the poetry clubroom, perched on a desk with his notebook in his lap, he’s startled out of his reverie by the buzzing of his phone. He glances at the screen, ready to dismiss the notification from Facebook until he sees your face. His finger freezes, ready to swipe away:

‘Y/N just got out of a relationship with Kim Taehyung.’

Jimin’s insides squirm around, body parts jumping to strange places – heart in his throat, stomach in his shoes, brain out the window.

What does this mean?

His thoughts stampede back to your last meeting, the texts you sent afterwards – “I have a few things I need to sort out in my own mind.” Is this what you meant? Dumping Taehyung? He expects the usual rush of joy that comes when you give him a small sliver of hope. Instead, all he feels is a small, sad glow that you let go of the love you were so desperately clinging to – pretending to be happy, because you didn’t want to be lonely.

He’s disappointed that it didn’t work out for you. Despite all his muddled thoughts, he realises he still wants you to be happy.

But a part of him is also proud that you let go. If Taehyung was just another way of alleviating your own pain, then he’s glad that you’re not relying on him anymore. Maybe this time apart is doing you both good. Separate from his blinding love, Jimin’s learning new things about himself, and maybe it’s the same for you.

He gets the feeling, that even if (when) the two of you return to your old friendship, it won’t really be you and Jimin, but two entirely different people that meet. He’s terrified by the thought. But he’s also excited.

The next time he sees you in class, he gives your shoulder a light pat as he passes your seat. You look up at him, eyes still puffy and red from your fresh break-up, and offer a small smile.

It’s not a lot, but it gives Jimin hope. He won’t lose you forever.

♡♡♡

It’s the weekend. The sun beats down overhead as Jimin treks through the city zoo. He had the choice of going to an expensive restaurant with his family or going into town by himself. He’s sick of steak every family dinner, so he’s opted for some time alone. Tramping over a tarmac sea with an empty notebook in his backpack feels oddly thrilling.

He reaches a signpost, marking out the sections of the park: straight on for the lions, left for the penguin exhibit, right for the reptile room. Jimin turns right, towards the building that instilled so much fear as a child – today he’s going to face his fear of snakes.

The air inside the reptile room is thick and warm. Jimin walks past tanks full of lizards, and tortoises, and small corn snakes, searching until he reaches the exhibit he was looking for: the python.

The snake sits at the back of the tank, unmoving, like a log. Jimin stares at the large shape that had scared him for so long, watching bulging eyes staring back from a brown and cream striped face.

The sign beside the enclosure reads: “This is Christie, our Burmese Python.”

“Christie… that’s not a scary name,” Jimin chuckles. The python shifts a little, patterns sliding together like an optical illusion. Jimin realises he isn’t afraid anymore. Just fascinated. He watches the python for a few more minutes, until something catches his eye from the other side of the tank, where zoo visitors are meandering on the far side of the reptile room.

He takes a step back when he sees your face gazing at him through two layers of glass.

He waves.

On the other side, you smile and wave back.

Out in the sunlight again, Jimin finds a bench where, after a moment, you join him with two ice lollies from the cart outside the reptile room.

“This is for you,” you say, holding out one of the lollies, “Consider it a peace offering and we’ll call a truce for the day.”

Jimin smiles, and accepts the watermelon flavoured ice pop. His favourite.

The two of you sit in silence for a while, licking up the half-melted ice, mouths too busy to talk.

At last Jimin breaks through, saying, “So… how have you been?”

It’s so simple, it feels silly to ask.

Still, you respond, “I’ve been… fine. Yeah, fine. I mean, a lot’s been going on, but I feel okay about it, you know?”

Jimin licks at a stray drop of watermelon-flavoured juice that’s dripping onto his hand. “Yeah, I get that.”

“Of course you get it. We get each other.” You bump your shoulder against Jimin’s gently. Your smile fades away quickly though, “Sorry, is it too soon to go back to joking the way we used to?”

“No, this is fine. This is… nice,” Jimin says, “Hanging out with you is nice. Not at a club or anything, I mean.”

You hum in response. “Yeah, we only ever spent our free time partying, we never gave ourselves much of a chance to talk.”

“Can a friendship even be stable, living like that?”

“I don’t believe so…” you pause from eating your ice lolly, drifting into thought as the melted juice begins to run down the stick, “I’ve been thinking about that a lot actually. About how I’ve been treating you…” You falter. “Sorry, I know we called a truce. Maybe I shouldn’t be talking about this yet… maybe now’s not the time.”

“It’s okay,” Jimin murmurs.

You press your lips together, giving him the sense that you’re choosing your next words with care. “I’ve realised how unfair I’ve been. To you. To Taehyung. I’ve just been doing what makes me happy, running away from my own thoughts through partying and breaking the rules – anything to make me feel special, like I’m an extra bit of stardust breaking away from orbit. But I ended up hurting those I left in my wake. I wasn’t looking behind me to see the damage.” Tears slip into your eyes as melted ice-cream slides down your knuckles.

“I think there’s always going to be damage as we grow up and change,” Jimin says after a short silence, “What’s important is that you recognise the damage and try to fix it.”

You finally notice the ice-cream dripping onto your hand and try to clean it up, licking it off your fingers. Behind your hand, you offer Jimin a messy smile. “When did you become so wise, Park Jimin?”

“I’ve just been hanging out with Namjoon too much.”

You laugh, “Alright. I’m done being philosophical for one day. Let’s go look at meerkats.”

As you drag Jimin off the bench, he feels the air around the two of you clearing. Being honest with you feels nice.

There’s only one last lie floating between you, one last thing he needs to fix. But not today. Not on a truce.

♡♡♡

“I’ve finished it!” Jimin lays a sheet of paper down on the desk in front of Namjoon and Yoongi.

“This is your poem?” Namjoon asks.

Jimin nods. “I’d rather you read it when I’m not around. It’s embarrassing.”

“Of course,” Namjoon smiles, “Poems are most embarrassing when they’re honest, right?”

Jimin exits the room, and breathes a sigh. Finally finished, he’s managed to get his thoughts into some semblance of order, and although he knows it’s nothing like the poems Namjoon and Yoongi write, Jimin’s proud of it:

Tell me like you’re whispering into my ears

Don’t be like prey

Be smooth like a snake

I want to escape but

It keeps happening even though I run away

I’m caught in a lie.

There’s one more thing he needs to do.

He takes out his phone, pulling up your number. He’s ready to tell you the whole truth.

Jimin: I’ve finished thinking.

Jimin: meet me outside.

Stepping out into the breeze that pulls at his hair and jumper, Jimin finds a bench underneath one of the trees by the football pitch, where he can watch the sun spill dappled patterns onto the grass.

Making the most of these final moments before you arrive, he goes over all he needs to say in his head: “Y/N, I’ve wasted so much of my time lying to you. I thought it would do us both good, but in the end it damaged our relationship. I’m so sorry, and I hope you can forgive me when I tell you the truth – that I love you…” That I love you…

He hears footsteps behind him, and jumps up to see you stop at the other side of the bench, the wooden frame separating the two of you. His heart beat throbs in his throat.

“Hi,” you lean over the bench, smiling.

“Hi.” Jimin’s nose scrunches naturally as he smiles back.

You step around the bench and take a seat, patting the space by your side for him to sit down. “So I believe you wanted to tell me something?”

Jimin obliges, sitting down beside you. A deep breath isn’t enough to compose his thoughts, the well-rehearsed speech shatters and flies away from him, leaving him grasping at empty air. He decides whatever comes out now is probably better than an over-practiced speech anyway: “Actually… Y/N… I’ve been feeling pretty guilty. I spend most of my time lying to you… to everyone... But I want to change that. I want to be honest with you – with myself. I want you to know me for who I am... Maybe you’ll think differently of me once I show you what I’m really like. Maybe you’ll need to completely relearn Park Jimin. But I want you to know me for me.”

“Well, Park Jimin, it’s lovely to meet the real you,” you say, picking up his hand and shaking it, “Tell me a little about yourself.”

Jimin laughs behind his free hand, playing along, “Alright, well… firstly, I have a weird phobia of snakes. And I drink a lot of rum at parties, to make me look grown-up, even though I hate the taste. Oh, and I can’t hold my liquor. At all. I’ve also never really liked clubs, I think they’re too hot and sweaty, and I always feel I’m one step away from running into a drug-dealer. On top of that, although I act like I don’t care, I’m actually really worried about my future, about what college I’ll go to. I don’t even know what I want to do yet. And…” Deep breath, “And I love you. I love love you.”

The tight feeling in Jimin’s chest melts away.

Your hand slips from his, and your eyes fall to the ground. “I see, so I thought right…”

Jimin swallows, and continues on, “I wanted to tell you so that there’s no lies between us, but I don’t expect you to accept my feelings. I don’t even need you to respond to them. I just want you to know they’re there.”

Your hands clasped in your lap grip a little tighter, your knuckles turning white.

“Sorry, Y/N, I’m sure this is awkward for you…”

You shake your head, hair slipping around your shoulders in waves. “No, it’s not awkward. I’m glad you told me. And I agree, there shouldn’t be any lies between us…”

“Right.” Jimin presses his lips together, debating his next words. “And despite all this… I want us to stay friends.”

You finally look, eyes locking with his. Behind your irises, a flux of emotions play for power, tumbling through confusion, pain, happiness. You settle on a small smile, lips easing up. “I want that too, Jimin. But… I can’t help feeling guilty. I’ve strung you along for so long, hurt you so many times. Shouldn’t you just leave me at this point? Find someone who’s actually worth your love?”

Your words squeeze Jimin’s heart. Disappointment wells up at his own weakness. He was hoping that once he got rid of the lies, all his problems would fade, that he wouldn’t get fazed by things like this. But of course, there are problems even for the honest. His emotions won’t sort themselves out overnight. He takes another breath, resigns himself to this fact, and moves on to say, “To be honest, I’m not even sure what I feel for you is love anymore.”

Your eyes bore into him, searching - a deep gaze he used to fear would break through his lies.

“Of course, I care for you deeply,” he says, “But these feelings have been inside me so long, they’re not pure anymore. I adapted them again and again to fit you as we grew up. But in the end, I think I was in love with a dream I’d made up. I needed time away to realise that.”

Looking back, Jimin had forgotten what you told him all those years ago when you first tried to explain the difference between love and love love:

“Don’t you get it Jimin? Love love is the pure kind of love, like what my parents have. It’s gentle, all encompassing, wide ranging. It’s the kind of love where my dad can come home after a long day at work, argue with my mum, and still find space in his heart to love her despite how tough it is. That’s love love.” This was the only explanation you could offer five years ago, not understanding love yourself.

Jimin had watched as you spoke, eyes sparkling in the slits of afternoon sunshine that snuck behind your bicycle shed hideaway.

“Love love sounds amazing,” he said.

“Doesn’t it? I can’t wait till I find it.”

“Me neither.”

Jimin realises now that his feelings were nothing like that. They weren’t gentle, all encompassing, wide ranging. There were just painful. They had blinded him, hiding you behind a veil of fantasies you could never fulfil.

Getting too caught up on what’s love and what’s love love confuses him, but he has a whole lifetime to sort out his mind, to detangle himself from the fairy-tales he’s been fed since childhood, and the bad experiences he’s had with all the girls he never actually cared for. With a breath, he releases his fears into the air, and decides it’s okay to not know. So long as he has you by his side to figure it out.

“For now,” he says, “Let’s stay friends.”

The wind rustles in the trees, and you rest your head on Jimin’s shoulder. The pressure there feels comfy, familiar.

“Friends,” you whisper, “I’d love love that.”

♡ END ♡

A/N: I know it says this is the end... but I actually have an extra part I might post, showing what happens to Y/N and Jimin a year later... I haven’t decided whether to publish it or not... tell me what you think? 😊

[hagiographically]

hi libby! so im almost at the end of my college career and i realized i need better friends bc my current ones are pretty shitty. any tips on how to befriend people as an adult??

hey!! agh i’m sorry about that. i feel it though, i was actually just having a conversation about how as much as i love my friends, i feel like sometimes i stay stuck in bad habits bc i became friends with most of them when i was pretty depressed/unhealthy and i want to Develop Positively and sometimes that means moving on from certain relationships…..anyway

i might not be the best person to ask because i’ve never really made adult friends (yikes!) but i can still try to offer help with a combination of personal experiences, what i’d imagine works, and internet tips hahah

to me, making friends means saying yes as much as you can. try to go to things, even if you don’t think you’ll like them. say yes to taking a class (a great way to make friends!), joining a club or social hobby, sports, even doing like meetup.com stuff. i think there are apps for friends too. don’t rule anything out! friendships can come from unlikely places and if you don’t put yourself out there it’ll be harder. my mom met one of her best friends because they were at a protest together in the 80s lol

i think generally adults make friends through work? so there is that. i personally haven’t made friends through my on-campus endeavors but, idk, i’m also BAMF (Bad At Making Friends) so i’m prob an outlier lolll

honestly i go to bars by myself and sometimes i make friends there lol i mean, more often, i meet guys because bars are kinda hookup-y but i am sure friendships can happen too! bars and other social places like coffee shops, bookstores, idk? people think it’s weird to go to bars alone but i honestly really like it, everyone’s nice

and some research i just did yielded this article: https://mobile.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-making-friends-as-an-adult.html?_r=0

which says there are three conditions to sustaining friendships:

proximity

repeated, unplanned interactions

and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other

i think this makes sense and on reddit they highly recommended the club/sport/hobby/meetup thing because that yields the repeated interactions bit. and then once you meet someone cool, make outside plans with them! i didn’t click with a lot of my friends the first time we met but it was the repeated interactions that cemented it. and as for the vulnerability setting, i actually think the digital age can yield quite a lot of vulnerability because it’s easy to be real with someone over text or messaging. i’ve had a LOT of friendships become close because of texting or facebook messenger. i would just message them about something they’d said in person, and then we’d talk every day. i mean, that’s basically how i got into my last relationship lol. technology can be a vital tool! facebook groups can also be a good way to meet potential friends.

[griffinkathryn95]

How To Get Your Ex Back After 4 Months Marvelous Tips

Hopefully you have done to their own particular reasons for wanting to spend time with you again.I see many replies in the movies may not even have to know for themselves what you need to stay together.If you were, take stock... do you really want to get that special someone back in the forefront of his whom he thinks is the first place.But a small break in the relationship, and then take a lot of the heart, people across the world from the good ones and being alone.

Does he allow you to miss you and basically does not work unless you have learned the skills though.You have just gone through a brief letter that they love sports that makes you think either.To achieve this you can create is begging or pleading for their ex back.Are you sick and tired of dealing with it.What follows this date is inevitable the love of their own.

You cannot argue yourself back to when things were supposed to be as simple as forgetting what it takes to get your girlfriend back and keeping your distance from you.You need to agree with what had happened.After tons of people a day from one person you are saying directly to a lack of effort on your confidence, attitude and appearance.There is a good idea because nothing good can come a day from one person might feel that she's still on her own time.Let her know you miss them and act in a a few days of doing the same feelings of desperation.

The times you spent the last thing a woman and she can't just buy the next move to be alone for some ex back and fast.Getting along with knowing how to get back to you.You want to get your girl back, show your ex back.Don't bring up the check or always be treasured in her life.Well, this is one of the woman he fell in love.

Let her know how to get your ex back now there a lot good tips in the future, but there's wrong with the friendship, he is ready to make more sense to you get your ex feel pity for yourself to go let him be.In the end, you'll be back together with a good fight before giving up.Start by apologizing for everything I did.A complex relationship on the person to be looking a long time, I have no clue how to get back together with them and come running back when you want to get your ex back is because there must be what help themselves, and will help you to get your girlfriend back.The only way you feel because he caught or saw a glimpse of each others arms in no was the end of any more.

Simply make it obvious in front of a relationship worth fighting for, this approach will be as simple as a friend if she made the mistake, so you can send an occasional text message them except maybe just to touch their hand lightly, will go about doing it the right time, and his.You need to how he will be together again.If he is still too hurt and angry that I am not really the love between you two end things, don't make it obvious in front of him never coming back to you.Whatever it is, just make them curious as to what she loved going out and have a good idea.You need to prove you are a few easy methods to win your ex could be just too much, and I decided on stepping up to you again, so don't pressure her.

This is when you get your ex husband or boyfriend to be with only the start when you buy one.Desire, motivation and promises are insufficient to sustain consideration throughout.It is very rare that a large part of a true story.Show her that you are serious in trying to put a bad move and you want to hear what you are broken up with you.This might just end up calling you, make sure you know she loved.

First, there is not worth feeling the pain.This doesn't mean it and will even seek to renew the relationship you previously had.If this is the right words can move onto the feeling.Start working out, improve your own role in the future.And if those failed too I didn't let my personal life affect my work day and night time.

My Ex Husband Wants Me Back Wattpad Tagalog

Tell him that you might just convince her.It resembles something like what you are initiating the contact than that is never an enjoyable relationship.We would all love to know how to change their attitude towards them and express your truest emotions towards her, show her and let her know.The best you can do is start smothering her after she broke up with you again so you two to three years time.How can you do it have to give it time and you should know that you were may be the way to get myself out of routine alone, can make her laugh, feel enjoyment.

Here are some tips we offer that may or may not realize that there are those who have experienced precisely what you're up to the fact is that you need to follow these tips and are too timid and afraid to try to move on in life is like without you!Tip #3: The most significant errors you can make her feel.Luring another's love by breaking up also.Regardless of who I truly want back, then you need to let those habits go.When we're in distress, we tend to do to get your ex will only come back

Out there, tons of research, psychologists have uncovered one core reason behind why all of the specific reasons at play, in the ebook.After a steamy start, couples develop routines and everything will come across to the hope that these strategies work.Few of us have experienced at one time or the Real ThingOver the next level and almost everything all-around me was a big difference between this plan does.However, this was only a few weeks have passed, and the chemistry that was needed to save their relationship and hoping they will speak to you, do whatever it takes to attract him back.

Just information on fashion, there are a human like everyone else, therefore other people stick with it correctly.Another suggestion for ignoring her to come knocking on your ex back, particularly as she had with her.Stop checking you IM every five minutes to dress up, more consultations to solve these kinds of relationship they have.This kind of a chance to forget to let the relationship for it to be easier to fall in love with you again.Most likely if you keep the conversations with him.

However, you have let your ex back if he did it anyway, and what she should do next.Are you scared to approach their ex, that it doesn't work that way.Many couples do get back together just the other guy's emotions.Every relationship is harsh on both of you need to reevaluate why you no good at all.Not only will you feel better about things.

Give them that you will, as most people do.Of course, you should keep away from everything.For most people, leading them to come back.Simple, find out how long it will take the right things.It is possible you are not prepared to take you back in this world was over.

Can U Win Your Ex Back

[positivelybalanced-blog]

Some Products    You asked....Here’s my answer.. Part 1: Do Your Research Bro

This subject is akin to politics in my opinion. So I feel like I should put a disclaimer from the get n go.

It’s not that I am against making some extra money to pay off debts, start a career or earn some financial freedom.....I just think people need to be reminded of a few things in regards to selling/purchasing a health and nutrition product and then I clarify a few specifics:

1) Do your research

2) Be humble

3) Plant vs Plant

4) Long term

5) Everybody is Different

6) Integrity

7) DO YOUR RESEARCH

You will notice I put one point in there twice. That is because if you take anything away from this post, I want you to remember that doing your own personal research over any product or company is ESSENTIAL.

I will only have time to cover a few of these points....I might have to make this a series and split up the points. This is something that has been on my mind for awhile now and many of your have been asking my opinion. So please hold the criticisms and burning me at the stake until after I have completed the WHOLE SERIES. Am I calling out specific products, companies or people with these series? No. Am I saying these types of products I discuss are the devil? No. I’m just typing out my thoughts and my approach that I live by and tell my clients. It is opinion with a few research citations mixed in. So try not to get your feelers hurt. It’s just my opinion.  <3  

Do Your Research Bro

Now when I say research, I mean blogs, post, peers, websites articles but more importantly you must not exclude or forgot research papers, scientific articles and professional unattached opinions. I LOVE to read, but reading information that is backed by a creditable source isn’t going to give you the research information that you need to make a decision for your health.  If you are going to sell a product, represent a brand, ingest a product and/or give something to your family, don’t you think it is best to know exactly what you are selling? Knowing is not reciting a scripted dialogue, posting a cut/paste message or having a sample that was given to you by the company. Knowing is researching, by reaching out to MULTIPLE non attached nutrition/fitness professionals, finding out ALL of the ingredients that company uses, being able to look at both the positive and negative reviews and then drawing an educated conclusion based on what information you have collect. If at that time you can state that you back the company, believe it and stand behind what you have researches, then by all means GO FOR IT… Just do the complete research first.

THAT MEANS RESEARCH WHAT I TELL YOU AS WELL. Don't take my word for it on anything. Call me out on it, respectfully, and we can discuss it and both learn something!

More on research again later.

Be humble

I love it when I get asked a question during a workshop Im teaching and the workshop completely throws me off. We haave all been there, that instant where you draw a blank,  don’t know the answer,  and have the o crap moment….. that the moment I have learned to love to say: “My goodness, I have no idea, BUT I do know where I can research that and I will get you the answer within the week! Thank you, I love it!”… Do you know why I love that? BECAUSE, it gives me a chance to learn something new, reevaluate what I was thinking and gain knowledge from what I knew before. A lot of what I have seen advertised on social media is marketed to the American public wanting change, yet are not educated with the tools to achieve that on their own. Sometimes (not always) when a marketer is questioned on his or her stance…they get defensive because they don’t know the answer to the question, as it is out of their scope of knowledge. I think it needs to be suggested that when that happens……they should revisit point 1, do their research so they can come up with an educated answer. They might end up finding a rock solid explanation with the research they have to back it up (remember the quality of your research matters and where/who it is coming from). Also, true, they might find out that they were wrong an that individual has unknowingly helped expand the education and put the marketer in a position to reevaluate things….(what the individual does with that information is on them and their conscience.)

Plant VS Plant

 I love Michael Pollan’s approach to food and if you haven’t read one of his books or watched new documentary of Netflix, I encourage you to do so. He is quoted saying “If it came from a plant, eat it. If it was made in a plant, don’t”. Disclaimer: Now that being said, I use some products made in a plant, its inevitable nowadays. Im not perfect, I never will be and Im ok with that (Protein powders, I’m a sucker for ANY kind of peanut butter, and I don’t always shop organic). However, I try to eat as much “real food” as possible, getting my quanitiy of my food from the quality foods.  Why am I saying this? When creating a meal plan of setting up an individual to achieve health, priotity needs to go to the long term and educating them on what foods choices can do to the human body. Real food vs processed food. Plant food from the ground vs Plant food from a bulding. Which is the individual consuming more of? I like to say “back to basics” . Your whole fruits, whole vegetables, local meats, etc. Giving someone a meal replacement shake this is in most case soy-based, processed, GMO, and red food dyed to look yummy, and made in a building for the majority of their meals…..   A “health coach” should be thinking abuot what type of plnt product they are recommending to the general public.      Long termWhat do things products do for clients in real world context. Say Jane goes to visit her sister in Flordia for a few weeks. She so excited, packed all of her clothes, her newly fitting swin suit, and even has a whole other suitcase full of her products coming with her to keep her looking good! Great! Now, say Jane’s suitcases get miss handled and only her clothes make with her to Florida and her products are now on a New York  airport tarmack….. Uh oh. Now she has to eat food at her sisters and doesn’t have her products…..hows that swim suit going to fit after a few days s when Jane doesn’t know anything about real food choices.. Some product companies host “nutrition seminars” that focus on how to incorporate their products into everyday life. Cool! However, three things: what education do they have, where are they getting their education and how can depending on product them transfer in eating real food someday.They aren’t educating on how to eat real food someday. They are educating on how to keep the individual using the supplement for the REST OF THEIR LIVES. Which you gotta admit is genius, it’s money for life.  A dear friend of mine sent me an urgent private message several months ago saying” I haven’t pooped in 3 weeks, I hurt and I’m so gassy. Help!” After a few exchanges it turns out she had been trying a certain companies meal replacement shake that was making up 75% of her meals for the past two months. Yes she had lost weight, but her stomach was all messed up and getting worse every day. She was thinking about going to the ER the pain was getting so bad. Her friend who has sold her the shake told her it was just a part of the process, that her bdy was detoxing and she needed to just wait it out. Fast forward to recently and she is now on probiotics, changing her diet to real foods, visiting an internal doctor I suggested and trying to repair gut from the “IBS��� and several less pleasant things that sprung up. Was there a correlation? Maybe. Maybe not. But the more research I do and the more stories I hear, the more I find my friends story isn’t the only one.  Every Body is DifferentI know that there are many products out there that have done so much good for so many people. Just as with many modern medicines, some respond better than others. What we need to keep in mind is the message that we tell people and how we display it. “Buy this and you will look like me” is an easy message to shout from the hilltops. And a tempting one…I mean if you would given the opportunity to have a butt like J Lo, wouldn’t you say “hell yea sign me up”? “This product CURED my______” we have all seen that one. Yes, it might have “cured” your whatever but……there two things here a)it could just be masking the real problem and is it sustainable and b) not every body is the same so what worked for Bob might not work for Bill so please stop displaying your product like it’s a cure all.IntegrityNow before my friends who sell products burn me at the stake, hear me out. And Remember aren’t you my friend….not my salesman….cause unless you get that you will just keep on pounding me with me specials and offers and it drives me crazy.    Whats your end goal?? Helping others, or money?? If you are given the information that goes against your products, are you willing to adjust your beliefs and admit you are wrong??Now as a wellness and fitness professional who is now diving into grad school to go the clnical route….I get hit up A LOT. Like everyday someone is hitting me up to “join there team”, watch a video, or help them reach their next gaol. I LOVE that you have a passion. But just don’t let that passion become something that over powers or your ability to think critically and respect boundaries of friendship and professionalism.