#IM WEEPING IVE WAITED SO LONG FOR THEM

[rachhkelll]

haven’t drawn them in a while, but really needed to get this one out my system after recents chapter. I will proceed back to sobbing now. The growth and character development. Weeping.

[dustykneed]

for context: star trek into darkness (specifically, my take on the implications of bones doing what he had to do and the emotional fallout of those missing scenes) (not that ive seen it!! but ive read enough fic to know the gist of it LMAO) (can you believe this started as an impulse draw to see if i could use pastels to convey heavy emotions and now im writing a very very long headcanon in my notes app.)

...

Leonard goes and he plays god, and injects Jim with that godforsaken blood, and then there is nothing left to do but wait.

He sinks into the chair at his desk, and steeples his fingers together. It occurs to him that these circumstances are the sort that would drive any religious man to bow his head and clasp his hands together, like so, and pray.

--but he is a doctor, and he has never been religious, and he has a duty to do, and he has broken his oath, and there is blood on his hands and flecking his shirt.

Leonard sits very still at his desk and weeps, and he does not pray.

...

sorry to all of y'all who had to find out i was an angst goblin this way <///3 but basically the hc/rough fic is an extension of the angst potential of that one scene where jim wakes up and fixates on spock (and his lack of response towards bones is never addressed afterwards i think? not sure but it's an interesting premise imo)

brief summary: bones never gets closure from jim after he wakes up because jim and spock get together immediately after and it just slips their minds, so bones is stuck in "oh god jim's dying" mode and feels absolutely terrible, but the bridge crew helps a bit by being there for him to hang out with, but still bones does overwork while trying to work through the sense of wrongness of not being able to have his emotional needs met after the whole jim dying fiasco and feeling like his best friend has forgotten him. he admittedly makes good progress (by which i mean he's able to take really big overwhelming feelings and put them away well enough in his daily life to function relatively normally) but the crushing grief is always in the background. about a month or so after spirk gets together, spock accidentally brushes bones' arm and is absolutely slammed by a wave of unexpected exhaustion and emotional pain and is like ??????!!!????????? long story short he drags bones to jim and bones cries for the first time since jim "died" and it is immensely cathartic and then jim blurts out a confession because he has horrible timing and asks bones to join him and spock and obviously bones cries harder and spock is about to smack jim upside the head lmao (bones says its way too much to process and he needs time but hes not exactly opposed, and they all start spending more time together, and then eventually bones is like fuck it and asks for a kiss and they finally get together !!!!!!)

as a treat for reading all of my mildly insane word vomit y'all get a soft bittersweet aos mcspirk scribble<33

gotta love aos jim's majestic eyebrows and aos spock's general sort of >:[ expression!! really growin on me tbh

[peachesofteal]

RAAAAAAAAH CHAPTER 13 BRO!!!!!

as always, i read it like a rabid animal, and then reread the prev 4 chapters and then reread this again HAHA

your work ages like fine wine, and i read and treasure every word of it, especially on rereads when i can make myself slow down to really take it all in <3

"He takes it all away. Every time." made me WEEP!!!!! its what she DESERVES!!!! the dependability and the escape into him and simon (simon takes charge obvs, but johnny is just as much an outlet. sweet sweet boy)

i think he also realizes that she's seeing it as escapism and starts to fall away a bit, bc of how he stops her and asks to check in. it makes me curious abt his and simon's early relationship, if he's recognizing the same pattern of behavior and comparing them.

going on with that, when she was showing them her scars, AUUUUUUGH. that hit so hard man. the “No but… they’re hideous.”

“No.” Simon croaks, voice thick. “There isn’t a single part of you that isn’t perfect.”

SIMOOOOOOOON he sees so much of himself in her. its gotta be heartbreaking, knowing she's where he used to be. he gets it fr. i cant imagine two people more suited for her, someone who's been where she is and got out, and the person who's helped get that someone out of that pit. fuck dude. you're so good at this HAHAHA

im not gonna say nothin abt the good girl stuff…. but heehee!

also also "I'm not a little human nurse" made me laugh so hard LMAO pure arizona from grey's. ive been watching it lately (started right before you started posting simple math actually) reading the hospital bits of SM, you do a really good job of capturing the same energy and stakes and work dynamics that you get watching grey's. im honestly still waiting for the other shoe to drop on the stupid attending marshall, there's always something that a shitty attending can mess up down the road lmao

the ending on this chap killed me though. they knew she was flighty, and that she's smart and capable, but its gotta be so hard to get the relief of her coming back after the day out without answering the phone, only to find the papers the next morning. in bunny's defense though, she mentioned in chapters before moving in (i think before graves hurt her?) with them that she had to start looking at outs, and these papers aren't a 2-day turnaround; she probably bought them weeks ago and only now picked them up. i could be wrong though! i think its unfortunate timing, but she also probably just wants the relief knowing that she's got the backup plan accessible. as much as she loves the boys and penny, she's still not used to having the dependability. the safety scares her, or at least gives her the idea of a false sense of security, since she's been on edge for so so long.

i give her big smooch. poor bun. poor boys, and poor penny. manifesting the worst for graves, truly, rot in hell you idiot american

i hope you're feeling better, its lovely to read your works but even better when you're doing well yourself ❤️❤️❤️

I loved reading this! I adore you.

I love how you noticed that Johnny does stop to check in. He has a very firm grip on her mental and emotional state, (it’s not his first rodeo) and he knows just how to bring her back.

The two of them + Bunny is really a dream come true even if she doesn’t realize it yet (they do) and it will take a lot of time and work on everyone’s part.

I think your notes in your last paragraph are pretty spot on, too. Bunny will talk about it more in the next two chapters but- getting a new identity is not a two day turnaround.

Also yeah, I was channeling Arizona with that line 💀 I was hoping someone would catch it!

10/10 I love your breakdowns, no notes, perfection, they always make me smile.

[fyorina]

(uh, this is rlly long im so sorry qwq)

OMG THAT LAST CHAPTER HAD ME FEELING SM CARINA U CANT DO THIS TO ME !!!! LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW PARAGRAPHS IN I HADTA WALK AROUND BC I WAS SO OVERWHELMED I LOVED IT SM !!! N THOSE LAST FEW LINES. DONTDOTHISTOME I S A W THE "BEAST AU COMPLIANT" TAG ON UU IM GONNA SOB MY EYES OUT DURING IT I JUST KNOW !!!

gonna leave some of my fave few lines n my thoughts abt them from this chapter (ok these arent all of em, bc if i put all of em it'd be the whole 50k words of this series SO ITS JUST THIS CHAPTER)

"because how could he possibly belong amongst people who are so unfailingly good that it makes his tainted heart stick out like a sore thumb?"

STOP NO DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEE throughout the whole fic u perfectly captured his thought process n how he denies his own capacity for change n how he HAS changed from when he was 18 BUT THIS LINE MADE ME TEAR UPPPPPP

"He is so completely and irrevocably in love with you that Dazai doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to live in a world without you. The thought alone makes his skin crawl and his chest cave in."

self-explanatory

“Are you calling me ugly?” 

u gorgeous, gorgeous man ilysm yes you look like a rat but i'll swaddle u up in blankets n clean u up

the whole graveyard scene. DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY HELLO

“You were a kid, Osamu. You’re not some incarnate of evil for ending up where you did, you were failed by all of the adults in your life,”

ok nvm crying this hit me like a truck

"Humans cannot live without a heart, so if he’s to give you his, it’s only fair that you give him your own—though realistically, yours has already been his for a long time."

i feel like this mightve been ur fave line, but if it wasnt IT STILL IS MINE BC OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD QWQ

ranpos lil rant was so funny he's literally me frfr

“Yeah… ha, look at us, in jail at the same time! Couple goals, huh?” 

i giggled

PLS READER INVITING EVERYONE JUST TO AVOID GETTING INTERROGATED UMMM RELATABLE LMFAO

these are just some of them BUT JUST IN GENERAL, UR WRITING IS JUST MAGICAL ITS EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED TO READ N I LOVELOVELOVEEEE THIS SERIES N ALL UR WORKS (n u /p) SM !!! I CANT WAIT FOR UNREAL UNEARTH, I JUST KNOW IT'LL BE AMAZING !!!

RED HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU NOT TO APOLOGIZE I LITERALLY ADORE YOU IM GOING TO WEEP OMG

honestly the first scene of dazai’s pov was one of my favs to write because it pisses me off so much whenever he’s excluded from the ada panels in the manga fjsjdjsjjd so i NEEDED the opportunity to hit home that that is his FAMILY idc what asagiri says the ada is that boys family and he deserves it 🥹🤞

UGHHHHH STOP BECAUSE WHENEVER I WRITE CANONZAI ITS SO HARD TO KEEP ON THAT THIN LINE OF HIS INABILITY TO ACCEPT HIS OWN GROWTH WHILE ALSO HAVING HIM ACKNOWLEDGING ODA’S LAST WISH FOR HIM SO I REWROTE SO MANY OF HIS POVS SEVERAL TIMES BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I WASNT GRASPING IT ALL PROPERLY

the graveyard scene was one of the 3 scenes i started writing for 🥹 i literally was weeping when i finally got to it

AND ALSO THE YOU WERE A KID LINE UGHHHHHHHH BRO when i tell you that’s something that i literally want to scream at him and shake his shoulders like he was FOURTEEN WHEN MORI BROUGHT HIM IN AFTER HIS ATTEMPT !!!!! FOURTEEN !!!!! HE WAS A BABY IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHEN HE FRAMES HIMSELF AS SOME IRREDEEMABLE MONSTER WHEN HE ONLY TURNED OUT THE WAY HE DID BECAUSE HE HAD NO ADULTS IN HIS LIFE SETTING HIM ON THE RIGHT TRACK ugh im gonna weep again i will always be dazai’s #1 defender, i will fight him himself idc he was only a lil baby :’)

oh my god fun fact i actually almost deleted that line about the heart, i don’t even know why like i was rereading it right before i post and i second guessed myself because i was like ‘i don’t think it rlly flows’ but then i decided against removing it because i liked the line in general SO IM WEEPING AGAIB

bro ranpo needs a promotion for real the headaches this man must get because of people not listening to him 💀

HDOSJDJSJDJJD THE COUPLES GOAL LINE WHEN I TELL YOU I SNORTED WRITING IT HELPPPPP I WAS GIGGLING SO HARD

RED ILYSM IM BUNDLING YOU IN THE SOFTEST BLANKETS AND GIVING YOU A FOREHEAD KISS

i’m so excited for unreal unearth like honestly it’s my pride and joy, i’m so pleased with how my beast!dazai characterization has come out so far and i’m hoping everyone else is going to like it too 🥹 if not ill simply die HAHAH JK JK JK no but really i’m so very excited for it

[acaciapines]

Your nanowrimo pieces are soooo goooood they hit so hard fr fr. I’m especially LOVING today’s one with the owl & the collector even tho I don’t rlly know that much abt toh bc I haven’t watched it but I can tell that u LOVE IT & I can’t wait to learn more thru osmosis once the fic is poooosteeeed✨ (i WILL read it i PROMISE i SWEAR)

Anyways give us the thoughts, the tea, tell us how you make the words do that✨ anything u wanna give in regards to today’s bit!! We’re not picky!

Hope y’all are doing okay! Gal says hi :) Remember to eat and drink something, take breaks, and look after yourselves and each other! We love you! This has been a Daily Interaction Ask <3

he he :3 im glad youre enjoying!! its been really fun to pick out my favorite bits even when usually those are the ones w/out context lol. look at my owl and weep boy. firefly <3

YOU WILL LEARN SO MUCH VIA OSMOSIS....literally now that im also doing something for s1 its like. why watch owl house we have owl house at home (the owl house at home is a 1 million word daemon au) (<- 1 mil is not a joke btw idk if it'll hit it but itll at least come very close. no idk why i did this.)

as for today! hmmm...

its truly so fun to write the collector. like im not joking about him being my favorite owl house character despite his maybe twenty total minutes of screentime, so its been such a JOY to expand his role in this series!!

bc like. god. actually i think i wrote a whole like. bit of flash fiction/prose poetry type thing for them a while ago. probably in my files somewhere. but just. youre an immortal eight year old. you are in these years where you need to interact with other people for your own mental stability and health. to figure out the whole Being A Person thing. and you are trapped for like, centuries. trapped away from everyone and everything and DUST, which, in universe, in literally connection personified. you're cut off from all of this.

and you are, let me say again, eight years old.

truly the collector is just. hes had everyone he ever cares about leave him--his siblings the other archivists left him behind not out of any sense of cruelty, really, but because caring about people just isnt really a thing they do. quite frankly they live so long they didnt even notice. theyre far-away stars. not far because they're mean. just because thats what stars do.

and then king's dad (who um. doesnt have a name <3 this is why the collector calls him 'the big bully' its literally bc i never gave him a name--) was an adult the collector actually trusted and looked up to (he meshed REALLY WELL into titan society until the archivists started Doing A Murder since titans are the only beings that match them in power and they have very very different ideas about dust). like ive said before the collector is owlbeastkin but before that they never had a super stable sense of identity--in another world where they stayed w/ the titans they wouldve ended up a titan.

and then king's dad just. trapped him in a tablet forever.

and like, to be fair to king's dad he was reacting out of fear and the best knowledge he had (he assumed the collector led the archivists to the titans, and like, he did, but its not like he knew he was doing that, and, you know, poor guy had seen a huge chuck of his fellow titans killed including babies and eggs of which he had an egg to consider), but it still TRAPPED THEM. and then he died and so did all the rest of the titans so nobody could free the collector even if they wanted to.

and then BELOS, who manipulated and lied to the collector for so long and was also literally his only friend after being alone forever, so like, of course the collector just blindly went along with whatever he said. he was gonna free them!! he listened to them when they talked about stardust which nobody else ever did! he had no idea what the fuck a witch was! he just liked being able to see the stardust sometimes, and belos brought him to places with a lot of stardust. to destroy it, but like--you know. it was THERE.

but all these people were just USING them, and they never really understand that until king comes around. and king's also a scared eight year old!! but like. king's also not wrong. the collector did aid belos in destroying the entire isles. like no joke belos SUCCEEDS here. like not long-term obvi this has a happy ending but at the point we're in at for the future? it doesnt matter that the draining spell failed. all the palistrom trees are dead. witch society Cannot come back from that even if they did end up beating the collector. theyre doomed.

anyways what was i saying. collector. right.

so like, then they meet firefly/grr-click-growl/wings-across-night/the owl beast (king of having so many names i love her <3) and shes like, the first person who cares for them and ISNT using them. even king is using them!! but firefly has seen Some Shit. she sees the collector as a hatchling who was kicked out of his nest and is doing her best to be some sort of stable figure for him, but she doesnt Not see the stuff he's done.

the collector took over the world bc he's scared--all he's ever known is being used and trapped so he doesnt exactly trust most people easily. firefly would Love to not be in this world anymore. shes also got a loyalty to eda and king and luzmari. and, like, cool motive, still trapping an entire society of people.

but like. shes the one who is here right now and nobody else is trying to help this kid.

but the collector just. hes just an eight year old. a very, very old eight year old. but he doesnt understand things like "you can make the wrong choices and still choose to do better later" and "im mad at what you did but that doesnt mean i dont care about you."

he just sees someone upset with him. just sees another person who used him and doesnt care and is going to leave bc everyone leaves him and in a world where EVERY SINGLE PERSON comes in pairs, hes the only one who stands alone.

basically tl;dr: collector my beloved <3

[nabnab-official]

my initial thoughts/observations on chapter 3/deep sleep

this is gonna be a long post. and i mean really long. !!SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!

opening thoughts

so, after a long and deserved wait, chapter 3 has finally released. i was very excited, and i wasn't disappointed. this one still follows the formula of gameplay chaper 2 established, but is far longer and far more scary.

as much as i enjoyed chapter 2, it was not scary at all. the only tense moments were during the games, and even then its not scary scary. they failed to build up that atmosphere of dread that a lot of horror games strive to have. chapter 3 delivered. home sweet home in particular, and the red gas hallucination scenes were scary. i still have a quarrel with poppy over their scripted scares, but this chapter was much better about that than chapter 2.

this chapter has a much different, darker vibe than chapter 2, and im glad. i hope they keep going in this direction, and i suspect they will, especially with the morbid story they want to tell with this game.

i was glad we also got to see the majority of the playcare, even if im a bit bummed out that we didn't get to go in the toystore. the playcare itself is a really good environment, it looks cozy but its also so obviously fake, reminding me of those little miniature towns in trainsets. I did not expect it to be inside a dome. my favourite area in the whole chapter had to be the playhouse.

the new hands were also a great addition, and made the puzzles much more fun and varied. changing up the mechanics like that was a great idea to keep people from getting bored of the same puzzle and gameplay every single time.

the school section was fun. miss delight was kept a secret and that was the best choice, because she was a good surprise. the weeping angel chase sequence is great, if a bit complicated. still, its nice to have an actual active threat.

we got a lot of answers in this chapter, including specifics on what the hour of joy was. it seems that the game is being much more open about its dark lore, and im happy about that. im tired of games being theory bait in the sense they make the story next to impossible to figure out to bait theorists. i just want to understand whats going on.

criticisms.

one thing ive always had an issue with about poppy is the scripted scares. in some places its ok, like the huggy tv scene. but i wish there was more of an active, ambient threat. like in the playhouse for example, having to use the flare gun to keep them away. part of the scare is knowing something is out to get you. it helps build up tension and fear.

on that topic, catnap is definitely underutilized, as are the other smiling critters. catnap is good when he shows up, hes got a great design and im really glad they kept him mostly silent. but i wish he showed up more. tying this point to the above one, it would've been cool if he was lurking around in home sweet home. it would be the same way he does in the office towards the end of the game, and you have to fend him off in a similar manner.

the smiling critters in general are underutilized. dogday only appears for a short amount of time, and while his appearance is very good, i wish we got more. we didn't even get to see what the other bigger body critters looked like, or even have them mentioned other than once or twice.

they could have been a sort of resistance group against catnap, or even have been additional threats. picky piggy is a cannibal and craftycorn wants to paint with your blood. something could've been done with that. they couldve even taken the role that ollie filled. though i think ollie is probably important so probably not.

i didnt like the catnap boss fight. i dont know, it just felt weird. i also didn't like the weird nightmare form he transformed into. i much prefer him in his normal state, hes creepy enough as is.

last critique. kissy died. thats it, thats the complaint. look we've done this before in batim when they killed boris. we're gonna have to wait until chapter 4 comes to see if shes alive or not and shes likely gonna be dead in some horrific violent way. this is more of a petty thing than anything but im still sad about it.

deep sleep

so, the ost for the game isn't out yet [once it is i might post about it if i notice anything interesting]

but one thing i did notice is the main [possibly] leitmotif is actually a song from all the way back in chapter 1, titled deep sleep, which likely not a coincidence. i dont know if they had this planned all along, or decided later, but its cool either way.

you can hear it here when you enter the playcare for the first time, and in the menu theme [at the very end before it cuts off]. im unsure when else it plays but it probably does play elsewhere, similar to how the thousand year melody is also a common leitmotif

lots of death [and huggys death]

so, huggy is confirmed dead, by poppys word. im kind of sad about that. i think it wouldve been cool if he had come back, covered in blood and all messed up from his fall, hungry for revenge. at first he just wanted to eat you but now its personal.

but alas we can't always have what we want. PJ is also possibly dead, but im not sure. its confirmed that he doesnt die in chapter 2, as mommy doesn't kill him like she does bunzo and the wuggies. but in chapter 3, it looks like PJ is on catnaps shrine. but until hes confirmed dead im holding out on saying he is. it also seems like huggy is haunting the player, in a way. he appears in their nightmare hallucination, and then again as a cutout later almost tauntingly.

poppy is right, we have killed a LOT of people. we killed huggy, mommy, miss delight, and helped kill catnap. we indirectly caused bunzo and the wuggies to die [mommy killed them, but if we hadn't won the game she would not have done that, so we are involved regardless]. and now, we have to kill the prototype. i did not expect this much death in this chapter, but i enjoyed it.

catnap

out of all the main antagonists, catnap is by far my favorite. in the long wait leading up to chapter 3, the anticipation to his reveal was a lot of fun. theorizing with other fans, making fan interpretations of what he would look like. originally i thought he would be a bat

his actual design is fantastic. i didnt expect him to be so skinny, but it really works in his favor. him being on all fours also sets him apart from the other antagonists. i wont go into detail about his design here

his actual character is really good and is what makes him my favorite. those who followed the arg that led up to chapter 3 know catnaps full story, about how the prototype saved his life. im not gonna talk about that here because im gonna talk about that and his death in a different post. but catnaps religious devotion to the prototype makes him really interesting. hes so obsessed with him he builds shrines, and is even willing to kill all the other smiling critters for being heretics the choice to keep him mostly silent also really elevates his character. i think it wouldve been much different were he talkative like mommy long legs.

i do think he was underutilized though, especially with how much he was teased

prototype

i was kind of hoping to see at least a little bit more of the prototype's body, but we got a voice reveal so thats good enough. the prototype is a very interesting character, and im really excited to see what he looks like in the future. he must be huge, if he took catnaps body to presumably use on himself. the prototype interests me, because im trying to figure out what his deal is. poppy seems to think hes pure evil, but we never actually see him being evil. the only truly evil thing we know he has done is enact the hour of joy. does he kill other toys all the time? what else does he do thats so evil? we dont really know yet i guess he saved theodores life and sacrificed his freedom for it. right now he is morally grey. he also killed catnap, but im not sure why he did that. was it a mercy kill? did he simply not tolerate that failure? its hard to tell with a silent scene.

either way, the prototype intrigues me. some people think he is elliot ludwig, but i dont think so. i think he will just be nobody in particular, ideally. hes good enough on his own as a character

elliot ludwig and ollie

during the hallucination sequence in the home sweet home, its said that they found the body of a young boy in an upstairs room in elliot ludwig's house, a body which was missing organs and bones. this was after ludwig had died, and playtime co seems to want to fight the allegations. so either ludwig killed that kid or someone was framing him. either way, its not looking good for him. its been speculated for a long time whether or not elliot ludwig knew about the sinister happenings at playtime co, or if it happened after his death and leith pierre took over. this might be our answer. now whos body was that? so, i have a weird hypothesis. its said in his backstory that elliot had someone die in his family, which caused him and his wife to split. people first speculated this was his daughter, who became poppy. i think maybe, with this revelation, it was a son. and maybe, like the poppy theory, that son became something else. maybe hes ollie. maybe hes the prototype. who knows. it would explain why the body was there, and parts were missing. maybe those parts were used to make a bigger body. it has a lot of holes, but thats why its a hypothesis

on the topic of ollie, who are they? i definitely think they're a toy, possibly a bigger body, which is why they're hiding their appearance from us. theres also no way its been 10 years and theres still kids here. they either would have died or grown up by now. i dont completely trust them, or poppy for that matter. people have theorized ollie might be the prototype, since the prototype can change his voice to sound like a variety of things. heres my crack theory, which i know is not true but it would be funny: ollie is boxy boo. listen. ok. the phone is first seen in project playtime, which is boxy boo's debut game, and reveals all his lore, like how he was the first bigger body created. the phone also resembles him in appearance. obviously this probably isnt true but its funny to consider.

speaking of him, im really glad boxy boo was in this chapter. i hope he appears physically in the next one, because i like him a lot. make fun of the name all you want but hes my special guy.

kissy and poppy

kissy is my favorite character so im very glad she was here. though i wish she was there a bit more, beggars cant be choosers. im also glad poppy got more spotlight. when she first appeared in chapter 2, she just felt like circus baby 2.0. but chapter 3 expands on her character a lot more and makes her feel more unique and alive, and like an actual character. which im glad for because shes the namesake of the game and is obviously very important she hates the prototype because he locked her in that case, and killed all those people. but obviously she cant kill him herself, shes so small. so we have to do it. ill be honest, i still dont completely trust her. like the prototype doesnt seem THAT evil to me. we havent seen him do a lot of things. imagine if theres a huge plottwist at the end where poppy is actually evil and the prototype is good. no way thats gonna happen but whatever.

the players identity

before chapter 3 released i thought the player was maybe a past orphan who worked at the factory later in life only to return years later to end things. people theorize that they're the head of innovation. now it just seems to make sense that they're rich. i mean why would we be constantly hearing about this guy who seemingly is just another employee. the player also seems to have done bad things, or at least known about them, because the game constantly references their guilty conscience.

chapter 4

its quite possible chapter 4 will be the last chapter. poppy said that catnap was the final obstacle the prototype had set out before us. and now we have the clear goal of killing the prototype.

in the next chapter, we will probably go down to the labs mentioned time and time again, and uncover the final secrets. as we go deeper down and progress through each chapter, things become more grim and dark. this will probably be the darkest chapter yet. if we go down to the lab, with the goal to finally kill the prototype, we are going to be in his domain, his kingdom. we will probably see new monsters, maybe even scrapped toys like daisy.

anyways i will make smaller posts for other stuff like catnaps death, and other things i find deserve their own posts. thanks for reading if you have made it this far

[antimony-medusa]

IM BACK i love your opinion on ships (sorry if youve already gotten any of these)

QSMP quackity and slimesicle

benchtrio (how could i have yet to do this!!!)

and emduo if you havent gotten them yet! (i didnt send it before because i assumed someone would seeing as you are The EmDuo Blogger in my heart, but i dont think ive seen you answer it)

Quacksicle!

I have seen people make very compelling arguments for this one and I respect it greatly, but I have a hard time spinning it up mentally personally? I can see it, but I just haven’t written Quackity that way very often. Still waiting for that one fic to convince me. :D

Benchtrio!

Ohhhh benchtrio. This is one where like, there’s the canon dynamic, and then there’s like four different fanon dynamics, and my feelings on them vary a lot. I feel like in canon they went through some really traumatizing stuff so young, and there’s no way for that not to leave a mark in you. The people you went though hell with at seventeen will be with you for the rest of your life, even if you don’t speak. And like, as a group in canon, I see them more as like a set of three duos rather than one trio.

In fanon though, sky’s the limit, I have very much been convinced in some fan works that they are each other’s GUYS all as a group. I think they should be the trio of roommates that live down the hall that got a couch stuck in the staircase and you know two of them are dating but you’re never one hundred percent sure which two are the ones dating, because they all have something more strange and terrible than simple romance going on. They’re blowing up buildings. They’re committing marriage fraud. They did terrible science in the bathroom. They adopted a very cute hairless cat. They’re on the run from the cops. They killed a man. They’re living their best lives.

Emduo oh my emduo.

I could go to other fandoms but they don’t have emduo so I guess I’m stuck here for life. My GUY, my guys, my favourite guys. I’m so normal about them. This is a thing where I respect everybody’s right to headcanon and dynamic as they wish, but also prevailing fanon makes me cry and sob and throw up, because I have done my due diligence and put in the work and like 99.5% of the time you cannot convince me of these guys as a father-son pair. Some people have pulled it off, but as a general rule, I’m just not clicking through on the fic any more because I’m just there weeping about where my BROS where my BATTLE BUDDIES are at. So, y’know, finding fan content is a trifle difficult for me. But the good thing is I just get to write them myself, so I can just keep doing that and I’m happy.

I have been variously convinced of them in various different non-family dynamics— I think someone described this duo as a Swiss Army knife of relationships? No matter the situation, you can put an Emduo there! Like, QPRs tending romantic, QPRs tending platonic, Epic Friends, Work Buddies, Morails, Romantic, Respected Enemies: I’m good with the whole spectrum there as long as you can convince me that they’re important to each other (and that they’re not related). But, y’know, as long as you make Techno funny and Phil swear I’m probably there anyways. Ueueueueueueueue. I need to go write them again actually right now.

Ship Bingo Ask Game

[zomberellaarts]

•Spell of Exile•

He walked through the corridor,

calling her name with no response.

He felt like he was playing a one sided game

of Marco Polo.

-Shiloh-

~Silence~

-Shiloh-

~Silence~

He came to a most magnificent garden,

That flourished with the most beautiful flowers he had ever

Seen.

Across the way he saw a glorious marble fountain,

And there he saw her sitting on the ledge of the fountain.

He walked up to her,

He could feel a sad aura around her,

It concerned him.

He reached out a hand and touched her shoulder

She became startled then looked upon him.

-Will why are you here?

-I've been looking for you?

-Why?

-I've been so worried, you've not been yourself lately....

He reaches for her,

She pulls away.

-What's the matter with you?!?

-I'm FINE!

He knew she wasn't fine,

He knew something was hurting her

Deep inside her soul,

He could see her heart breaking.

-You're not fine Shiloh,

I can see your soul hurting,

You're heart is breaking right in front of

Me as we speak!

She weeped loudly her head fell,

He could see the river of tears streaming

From her face,

She whispers.....

-You don't care

He looked at her in disbelief,

He couldn't believe what he just heard.

How could she feel he didn't care,

Of course he cared,

Doesn't he?

-How can you say I don't care? That's ridiculous!

He grew angry the more that phrase repeated in his head.

She looked up at him,

Her eyes bloodshot and red,

Sadness was still there.

But he could now see pure hatred and anger flash through her eyes.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.

He felt the wind kick up in the flow of her anger.

He stood up,

The wind whipped her hair around in a maddening but angelic way,

Her eyes were piercing like they were daggers ripping through

His soul.

-You have no idea what its like to think how I do, feel like I do,

You have no fucking idea!

She began to cry

-You cant imagine the torture I go through.

-Oh really like what?

-How about all the times I cared for you, thought of you before myself, what about all

The past bullshit pain you've put me through, but I still stupidly came back each damn

Time cause I still care about your selfish ass!

He scoffs,

How could she think he didn't care and surely he never treated her so cruelly like

Shes yelling about.

-You're so full of it Shiloh, I think you need to calm down and rethink things,

Cause you're over reacting quite a bit there hun.

-So if I'm over reacting then the way I feel about you mist be a over reaction too

Her voice became soft and he could see calm surround her.

He felt his heart grow heavy he wanted to hold her but he he knew

That would be unwanted by her.

The sky opened up and the rain came down in a light poetic scene.

-You cant imagine how someone can love you so much then just walk away like it

Was nothing. Then to have them toy with your emotion making you feel your important when

Really there was always someone else....there always is.

She paused a tears stream down her face as she continues.

-Im not saying I'm innocent in this I've had my faults but you had no right to

Open my heart like you did.

He grew enraged and interrupted her.

-Hold on that's far from true you opened up things I never thought I could feel let

Alone felt I deserved to feel as for the "other women" there really isn't one nore is there really one

Now. Im sorry I haven't been there Im sorry things have been less then normal but I'm scared too I'm

Trying to figure things out give me some kind of chance.....i swear Shiloh Ive never once forgotten about you.

The tone ended very sadly he felt anger but yet such sadness.

-I cared about you, put myself for you but when I needed you, you just suddenly never had the damn

Time......

-Now wait a minute that's.....thats not true, I just.....i don't know what to do.....

She began to cry that sad river of tears again,

His heart broke this time,

His face fell,

He knew he was responsible partly for her pain if anything a good majority.

-Ive loved you for so long,

Ive thought maybe you still loved me too, but then you changed, you started ignoring me,

Acting ashamed and embarrassed of me, all around you just seem like Im not wanted or want to be around. What did I ever do to hurt you? I know I'm emotional and can be irrational at times but for fuck sake I'm trying damn it!

He saw her tears, he saw the pain and the anguish on her face,

When he normally felt indifference and confusion, he felt guilt and despair,

He never realized the pain he caused her,

He took a step towards her.

-I'm......I'm so sorry. I.....i had no idea, I never realized all these feelings. I never meant for you to feel like this.i never meant for you to feel neglected, dirty, unloved, or even not cared about.

She looked up and saw for the first time in a long time he was crying, he fell to his knees and sobbed, he felt so guilty but at the same time angry with her for keeping it all inside for so long, she had no right no right at all.

-of course I care about you, how could you feel I don't? Yes of course your crazier then the mad fucking hatter somedays but for fuck sake, how could you ever feel I don't want you around?

She walked ip to him and lifted his head her eyes were sad but strong

-Just say goodbye and be on your way, nothing you say I trust as truth, the only thing for the both of us is exile from our lives, it's the best thing for the both of us.

He looked at her in disbelief he couldn't believe what he was hearing but he knew she was right. He stood up grabbed her and held her tight.

-Whatever you need I will do, I just want you happy that's all I've ever wanted.

-As for you too......

She pushed him away giving him one last look into his beautiful blueish green eyes.

-Till we met again-

She blew him a kiss.

-Till we met again-

He smiled at her, wishing it wouldn't be this way.

-Till the stars align and the moon dies out forget me, when the sun cant shine and the sea dries out forget me, till the days ends forget me, please forget me.

Suddenly memories flashed before his eyes, tears formed as each memory flashed, then just as quick they were gone.

-Who are you?

-No one important, im no one just a ghost of the past.

She disappeared leaving him standing there confused and unsure of what happened, but he couldn't shake the feeling he knew her. But knew he would see her again. When....he didn't know.

{Written: 1-20-20}

[Updated: 2-23-20] 

[sara-joseph]

Day count blog 2!!!

So, yeah. This one's for 2023. It's 2nd jan, but 2:40 am. New year wishes from everyone, INCLUDING JIN! hobi performing at times square. 1064 days more, we'll wait.

3rd Jan,2023. 1063 days more, we'll wait.

7th Jan, 2023. Started finals. 1059 days more, we'll wait.

28th Jan,2023. It's been days since I've updated. Got over with my finals, and my eldest cousin got engaged. Been busy tbh. Vibe is out, yoongi is the ambassador for Valentino, jimin for Dior, hobi for lv, and Joon for bonnetta? Looks like all the fashion brands are out to snatch the members after their contract with lv ended. Anyways, gues what. THIS BITCH JUST GOT TICKETS FOR A FUCKING CONCERT SCREENING. future me, pls know that I wasn't so hyper irl. 1038 more days, and we'll fucking wait

4th Feb, 2023. Yeah i had to give a 100-word update on how amazing the concert was, but guess what, this unlucky ass didn't get to go. I got hit with chickenpox, isolated for 10 days, just 3 days before the screening. Guess i gotta wait for 2025 now then. Anyways sorrow aside, i looked into jhopes photo folio trailer, and I'm like, who is this woman? IT WAS HOBI. yeah, i died. The fucking long hair i- i just cant-. Hobis birthday, his photo folio, PJM1, everything at once in Feb along with my brother's marriage, me going to gangtok. Oh dear lord. 1031 days more, we'll wait. Edit - (cause i forgot to add this) jk went live , 2 DAYS IN A ROW. breaking the radio silence since jins enlistment. And he's hot. He fucking sang UNHOLY, RIP TO ME. he even sang wildflower, vive , dreamers, oh god Jk, you're gonna be the death of us.

15th February, 2023, fuck that person who created valentine's day. Yoongis tour is announced 😭 anyways, 1020 days more, we'll wait

26th February, 2023. Messed up week. I got betrayed by the person who I really trusted in. Phone got taken away, had a big fight with my parents and all the crap. End of the week, I'm left with severe trust issues, a taken away phone, parents who hate me, and a lot more. Our boys have been doing very well I assume. Jimin is coming back with PJM1 this March, and yoongis gone cherry for this photo folio. 1009 days more, we'll wait

1st march, 2023. hobi has officially announced that hes gonna enroll. JUNGKOOK THAT MF DELETED HIS INSTA. and on top of that, the saseng threats. my insta got disabled, and i cant even seem to find a mail from them. oh how great this week is. this too shall pass, and in the mean while, we'll wait.

3rd March,2023. Bruhhhhhh jimin for Tiffany. I'm dead- I fell sick today, no really. Jakaisjskaka 1004 days more, we'll wait.

7th march,2023 and MY INSTA IS FINEEEEEE. i just finished blocking and unfollowing all the people i know, ive got no followers and im following only 7 people, bangtan and bighit (JK, FUCK YOU but i love you more than myself soooo) we're correctly at 1000 days now!!!!!!! we'll waitttt.

8th march,2023 and jimin is on the vogue cover, fuck my life. im teling you, if i end up not burning down all the schools in the world, please reward me with something, cause i just cant- 999 days more, we'll wait.

17th March, 2023 and set me free pt.2 mv is out. I gotta rant out about it, so imma post another thing on it. But I died, no kidding. One more post, for my fucked up life on how I got caught reading smut. Anyways, pd bang si hyuk says "we said we hope there will be a BTS comeback, not will" but who gives a fuck. I trust them, and they asked us to wait, so 990days more, we'll wait.

30 March, oof that was a long ass gap. A lot happened, i got my spectacles and now I'm taking treatment for 8 days, and I'm missing PTA week for it, thank you mom. Buttttt, FACE IS OUT AND THE SKIN- I- 977 days more, we'll wait.

4th April, 2023. Now idk if I have to weep over hobi leaving, or hobi tryna calm us down by posting, or maybe i should scream over jin posting, or jin and jimin fighting in hobis comment section, or should I desperately wait for ck to release jks pics, or swoon over rm in Bottega vennetta. Orrrrr i should just hold a seperate day count of yoongis d-day. After all this, i can just say,974 days more, we'll wait.

April 16th, 2023. I've started in a completely new account, WOW. but jk at Coachella?! And he's planned his us visit accordingly so he can be back to send off hobi🥺 Tae's new song, D-Day, and all. Anndddddd, my brother is now officially married. AND IM LEAVING FOR GANGTOK IN LIKE LESS THAN A WEEK FROM NOW. I'm sitting here and posting this while i have a math and bio exam tomorrow, god save me, guys pray for me. 960 days more, we'll wait.

April 18th, 2023. Hobi left like todayyy. Dear lord please keep him safe. the concept pics for d-day made me choke, like wtfff. 958 days more, we'll wait.

April 25th, 2023. im back from my 5 day school trip and dday is out. ngl, i still have to take a look at it. tae and jk attended dreams premiere, what makes it better is that tae knows psj from wooga and jk is the forever fanboy of IU. Moonbin passed, and even tho idk him, i genuinely feel bad that this is how life ends for some people. rm is back on Suchwita, and now 951 days more, we'll wait.

28th April, and just like, what the fuck. cause i may be late in saying this, but jk and tae attending the vip premiere for dream and his live right after? alsoo, jimin and rm are attending the met gala, each as their brands ambassadors. so you're telling me, that jimin is going to attend the tiffany event with ranbir singh, the met gala with rm, and is gonna come perform tony montana at yoongi's d-day? WOW. d-day japan is gonna be screened live in theatresssss, IM SCREAMING- hopefully i get to go this time. Also, that canadian actor who passed, bro, like rip. idk why he made such avid decisions, like no doubt jimin is handsome as fuck, but im sure he was also as handome, and good in character. anyways, 948 days more, we'll wait.

29th April, 2023. So jimin is attending tiffany's event with ranveer singh, the met gala with rm as the global ambassador of tiffany and dior, and is performing in d-day. which brings me to like, WTF YOONGI. his concert, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I COULD GIVE MY WHOLE LIFE TO HIM AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR- 947 days more, we'll wait.

1st May, 2023. Bruh, yoongs really got ARMY to bark at his concert. And jimin- im gonna cry i swear-. 945 days more, we'll wait.

5th may, 2023. Dude, that whole Canadian actor is shi. HE DOES NOT EXIST! wow, AI these days. i just hope bighit provides Bangtan with a little more security or something. cause like, sasaengs are getting out of hand now. at his house?! Suga at the Fallon show thoo. 941 days more, we'll wait.

15th may, 2023. yea, its been 10 days since i updated. i have been to ooty and now to mumbai, yes, in 10 days. im rewatching moon lovers again, idk wtf is wrong with me. but like we're getting closer, 931 days more, and we'll fucking wait.

19th may, 2022. brooo, if this whole tae and jennie thingie is real, i totally support. i mean- its their life, and they're cute so- iv'e also been watching the bts reels on insta lately, and im telling this all over again, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. 927 days more, we'll wait.

1st june, 2023. i havent updated in a looooong time. just been busy. BUT not busy enough to not know what is happenning in the world. SILVER BLONDE TAEHYUNG IS BACK. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. i- i just cant- Also, yoongi is doing so well in his world tour. RM's new mv with Colde, Hobi is the assistant instructor, JIMIN HAS BROKEN THE GUINNES WORLD RECORD, and JK dancing to super on his live. WOW. but best of all, *drumroll* 11 MORE DAYS TO BTSFESTA 2023, AND ITS THE 10TH ANNIVERSARY, AND "TAKE TWO" IS GONNA BE OUT. 914 days more, we'll wait.

10th June, 2023. 2 more days till festa, and yesterday take two was released. I haven't even watched it yet cause of my studies. I hate thissss. 905 days more, we'll wait.

15th june, 2023. Im shit, i didn't even update on the 10th anniversary. but i will soon. also, beyond the scenes, the book is set to release on july 9th ig😭 i swear- it's army's 10th anniversary. anyways 900 more days, we'll wait.

[melissamagdalena]

Purple Rain

© Melissa Magdalene 2018

The pillar fell. It crashed and crumbled all over the checkered floor. All I could do was watch - mesmerised. I couldn't patch it, I couldn't glue it back together, I couldn't erect it up again. So I just watched - bewildered, from my corner on the cosmic shelf. 

As a ceramic cup with wounds and scars and scratches, I am broken too, but I refuse to fall like the pillar did. It's my pride. I will sit here with my chips and bear them till forever if I have too because I am fighting the authoritarian. The one who was there from the day I was created and who has unconsciously been tyrannising me since. When I played poker, I was always dealt the worst hand because the authoritarian took pleasure in my failure. When I ran a race and won, I was over joyed, more so than most because I knew that I had to try harder and I had finally stood on equal footing with the authoritarian and the authoritarian would simply laugh at my childish naivete. 

I am not battling you. I am not battling the world, I am not battling myself. I am not even battling the pillar. I am in no war with anyone in particular or any thing, except for the authoritarian. The strange catch is though that I dont know who the authoritarian is, so I pretended for a long time that it was the pillar. I falsely convinced myself that the issues of my whole existence was the pillar, but it wasn't, it was the authoritarian. 

The pillar has now crashed, it is in pieces and it is waiting on its artisans to patch it up. It can never be what it used to be. In its day, the pillar stood so firm, so strong, so huge, so invincible. No one could conquer the pillar. It was physically completely robust and a blow from its marble arm could push anyone to the floor and leave them with cuts, bruises and ruby red bleeding teeth. Its word was final and anyone who dared challenge the pillar would be shown all the pillar was made of. No one dared challenge the mighty pillar – ever. Yet there it was now, on the floor in a million pieces, waiting on the artisans to fix it. 

I used to think I was weaker than the pillar, but Im not. While the pillar whines for the zillionth time, mourning its loss of youth and robust physical strength and health, something so irritating to listen too, something that makes me feel shame for the pillar, I sit here in my insignificant corner of the cosmic shelf in strong silence. I used to idolise the pillar, in fact I wanted to be like the pillar, even though we are not the same and Ive always been told that a pretty ceramic cup must always be a pretty ceramic cup and nothing more. It must know its corner of the cosmic shelf and be willing to play the doll but not the warrior, except I wanted to be the warrior and I was and I am, but only in regards to the pillar because I am no longer battling the pillar, although for many years I thought I was. 

No, the pillar may have been aggressive and abrasive sometimes, I guess it's hard work keeping an affront of strength when your whole significance lies solely on your physical grandeur of tough marble because when that crumbles, you are no longer what you used to be, the ideology is torn apart, the veil rips and you see truth in all its ugliness and its quite humbling. No, I feel pity for the pillar, although I used to rely solely on it to save me, however now I know it can't save me, no one can, not from the authoritarian. 

So I watch the crumbled pillar with tears in my eyes because I weep for its loss, I weep for its pain, I weep for its suffering, but I mostly weep for its delusion, the fact that it believed itself to be what it could never be and lived trapped inside its psychological cage which its past experiences had forced onto it. See, when the pillar was created, the artisans, they used to drink and gamble and cheat and be downright filthy, vulgar sorts, so the pillar was forced to fend for itself by itself in a world that can only ever respect pillars if they are pretending to be strong. So the pillar became strong, whether it wanted to be strong or not is beside the point and completely irrelevant, but it was shaped by the artisans into a mighty pillar and a mighty pillar it had to be. Final. There was no disputing the matter. The pillar fell. It crashed and crumbled all over the checkered floor. Its millions of broken marble pieces incapable of ever being glued back together again. And I wept for the pillar because it couldn't be anything else. 

Yet when the artisans created me, they were of sound mind and wealthy and ambitious and worked constantly from day to night. I was molded perfectly from the finest ceramic with the prettiest pastel flowers all around my skin and a glowing golden rim around my head, just like a halo. I was the artisans pride and joy, so they gave me everything. Luxury, toys, money, compliments, Yawn, sigh, roll eyes! I was built up into the ideology of the perfect ceramic cup and I hated it. I hated that box, I hated that expectation, I hated that demand. I hated being praised and constantly complimented how lovely I was. 

I just hated being like that spinning ballerina in the jewelry box with the pink fishnet tutu and that annoying, repetitive music  because that ballerina, she is a trapped doll and a trapped doll is all she will ever be and I was not going to be that trapped doll, although I became so, accidentally. So I rebelled against the artisans. I wanted to destroy everything that they had created in me because destroying their creation meant my freedom - only I didn't count on the authoritarian. I may have bewildered the artisans and gotten them to leave me alone in my insignificant little corner on the cosmic shelf, but I could never bewilder the authoritarian because nothing bewilders, surprises or scares the authoritarian. Not even my rebellion and that is what annoys me most!

As the pillar stood strong for many a year, intimidating the artisans with its command and force, I danced like a freak and intimidated the artisans with my rebellion, but no one, nope, no one could ever intimidate the authoritarian. “Red ruby wine!” said the authoritarian, and then poured it into me and mixed it with water. I remember it perfectly. Three parts water to one part wine and the authoritarian told me that life is in my blood. The water is blue and the wine is red and when the two combine, it is violet, like purple rain. The authoritarian knows it all and it's probably why I can't stand authority. 

The pillar fell. It crashed and crumbled all over the checkered floor. Its marble pieces spraying across the smooth tiles like flooding purple rain. All I could do was watch - amazed. The pillar, for all its robust physical strength and power, understood its time of glory had passed and easily submitted to the patched up work of the artisans. I expected the pillar to put up a fight. To be challenging as it had always been. To be problematic and demanding and forceful and confrontational, I was expecting drama and extremity, but no, the pillar simply submitted, fully understanding its misfortune and its weakness. 

So I just watched, surprised yet humbled, from my corner on the cosmic shelf. The pillar, the symbol of strength, understood its place and I still don't understand mine. I could never do that. With all my wounds and scratches and scars, I still have pride. Not a narcissistic pride or vain pride or arrogant pride, but a pride in belief and that I can do whatever I believe and I will do whatever I believe once these wounds and scars and scratches are mended again by the artisans. 

I don't know if they ever will be, but I hope they will be and my hope is pride filled because I believe, I truly believe, with absolutely no evidence and no fact, that I will be mended one day and this is pride. My extreme independent spirit is pride and this is what the authoritarian has been trying to change in me with minimal success yet. The pillar, it accepts its fate, it whimpers and whines and complains and mourns, but it accepts its gruesome fate whereas I can not and will not and so I battle the authoritarian because the authoritarian holds my poker cards while drinking bleeding wine and water out of me which is like purple rain and I believe that it is time I was recompensed for always being dealt a bad hand by the authoritarian. 

Do you see that? I said ‘I believe’ and thus it must be so. Yawn, sigh, rolls eyes! I think this is possibly why the authoritarian is still on my case. Pride can not stir the authoritarian, demands can not stir the authoritarian, prayers can not stir the authoritarian, nothing can, so it is wise and humbling to accept the hand dealt as the pillar has, yet I can not and will not because ‘I believe’. 

The pillar fell, It crashed and crumbled all over the checkered floor. Once the idol of many who would worship its strength and heroic aptitude, myself included, it accepted its misfortune, submitted and allowed and depended on the artisans to try to mend it. I, in my insignificant corner on the cosmic shelf, with wounds and scars and scratches and pride and hope and belief and childish naivete, I am still battling the authoritarian.

[vyladromeave]

SHABOWKNIGHT HEADCANONS PLASTERBOATS

This is how Shabowknights work in my brain. It just is. 

(Warning this is super long. like really long. its literally like 69k+ words im not kid. ding. i did include a couple poupble to help break up the bup the text. so. good lick.)

BECOMING A SHADOWKNIGHT

There is only one requirement for a person to become a shadowknight: you gotta feel it. you gotta reel it. you gotta feel it in the heart of the cards. sometimes ur having a rough day and youknow what thats fine. the shadowlord is totally there for you. hes your homie. your bro. your bromie. he can be anything you want him to be. but most importantly he is here for YOU. hes the cool boss. he lets you slack off on fridays, he puts slightly outdated memes in his powerpoint presentations. all for you. you’re welcome.

Now I hear what you’re thinking. What happens when the Shadowlord has a bad day? He can’t always be there for you, right? Wrong. The Shadowlord is on that grind, as the kids say. The grind never stops. no breaks. Stops? no stops. the only thing the Shadowlord is putting a stop to is ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴛɪʀᴇ ʀᴜ'ᴀᴜɴ ʀᴇɢɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠɪʟʟᴀɢᴇ-ʟᴏʀᴅ sʏsᴛᴇᴍ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɢᴏᴠᴇʀɴs ɪᴛ. Hes up all night and all day, working hard for you. give him a big thank you.

Not convinced? here’s a cool diagram he made for you. this could be us. you could be partially dead BUT holding hands with your best bro the Shadowlord. and really, what’s better than that? ghat? yeah? no. nothing. nothing is better. look at this diagram and fucking weep.

•

SHADOWKNIGHTS AND IMMORTALITY

All Shadowknights are immortal, as in immune to giving a shit. they just dont give a shit. they can just sit around for hours not giving a shit. do you give a shit? you shouldnt. you shoulding. houlding. hold mushrrom. thats what you should be doing right now. what are you waiting for? well???????????

If you were a Shadowknight, you could be holding a mushroom right now. That’s right. a whole mushroom just for you. but you arent. so you wont. why not? what’s stopping you? pledging your undying allegiance to the Shadowlord isnt so bad, we promise. it rocks, actually. we have pizza parties at the end of every month. does your employer hold pizza parties at the end of every month? I didn’t fucking think so.

Now I know what you’re thinking. But I dont waaaannnaaa kill the person I love the most! Well guess what? Sometimes you have to make hard decisions in life. Which is why you’re lucky that this decision is actually an easy one! I mean think about it, end of the month pizza party, mortal emotional attatchments. attachemnts. atatchments. fuck. however you spell it. Which one sounds cool as hell? Thats right. I don’t even have to say it. you know the answer. you already know the answer. i put it in your breain and it stays there.

•

Your favorite pizza topping.

What do you want on your pizza? I know you’re technically not one of the bros yet, but theres no way you wont be after all this, so I figured I’d go ahead and get your order down. Yeah i know the pizza party is a month away. im not ordering it right now. im ordering it later. that way its still fresh when it shows up. 

Although the delivery times out here in the nether kinda stink if I’m being honest. dont tell the shadowlord I said that though. he puts in a lot of time and effort to making sure everything is cool down here and like, really he doesn’t need to worry about the whole pizza delivery thing. like he already puts in so much time, the least i can do is cover the pizza thing yknow? 

I actually made the pizzas one month. have you ever made hundreds of personal pan custom pepperoni pizzas. its a lot of work. seriously. I kept burning them. so many burnt personal pan piping hot pipper pepper pepperoni personal pan personal pizzas. luckily im immune to fire, and i can never die. if you were one of the bros, you could be too. here’s your pizza.

•

Consuming the Pizza

Go on. eat it. I made it for you. what do you mean when did I have time to make a pizza? just now, while we were talking. didn’t you notice? maybe not. I’m good at making pizzas quickly now. ive had a lot of practice. maybe we could make some personal pan pinni mini pan pepperoni pizzas togethethter sometime.

oh my god. wait. im an idiot. im a fool. i was so focused on making you your personal pan pipini piziza pepperoni peper piza that i didnt even hear what you wanted for your toppings. im so sorry. oh my gosh im so sorry. i really didn’t mean to, i just got caught up in the moment. really. i promise. i know this reflects really badly on the whole shadowknight thing, but i promise this is a rare occasion. really. all the bros here in the nether are really kind and thoughtful, so stuff like this rarely ever happens. I really hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

maybe its better that we dont have personal pipizini personal pan papaza pizzas. im not actually that good at making the pizazis. i lied. im sorry. im so sorry. this doesnt normally happen. i just wanted to sound cool. its been so long since someone’s considered joining the bros, i just wanted you to really like me. im so sorry. oh my god. im so sorry.

•

A Reformed Pizza

The pizza is metaphorical. we’re still friends, right? we’re still bros? future potential bros? the potential kinetic mechanical energy of bros? thats a little science joke for you, whwhwhere i just said the science words. I havent learned about science in a while, ive been stuck down here making personal pan pizzazos for a while. im sorry about the pizza thing again, by the way. i tossed  your bad personal pan pizza in the lava pool over there to make up for how sucks it was. it was really bad. yeah. its probably a good thing that nobody ate it.

A Sturdier Pizza

The pizza is literal. We can make a new pizza. together. with my powers and yours combined. give me your hand. we are holding hands now. these are the hands that will make a new pizza. together. we can do it if we believe. do you believe? in our new world? in our now pizza? you should. you should believe. you better fucking believe it.

look at thsi shit. ohhhhooooooollyf uck. look at that pizza. holy shit. look at that piza. holy shit. balls.

•

Natural Abiblibties

sorry im still jsut thinkginbg aboutt he pizza. homygod. holy shit. did youz seetheat pizza. did you see it. arey you looking. at the pizza. ohmygodc. look at thits. is. its. the pizza. its fucking perfect look at it. ive never made a pizza like that before. we diddit tofgotehr. we did it. the pizza. we did it.

iknow itsnoth the end of the month yet but iwant to have a pizza party. lets do it again. we’re strong enough. we can take on anything tofeger. antyhign. even pizza. especially pizaz. we can. iknow you dont believe it but its strue. lets do it again. lets make a pizza one more time. what dtopping do you want to put on it this time? mushrrom? we can do mushrrom.

here. im handing you a mushrrom. you can put it on the pizza. its a topping. there are many toppings you can put on pizza. you can put on extra cheese too. then iets ecxtra cheesy. cheesy peezy. pizza.

lets do it together.

•

Additional Pizzas

we’ve made so many pizzas. thatslike two whole pizzas. wholy fuck. holy shit. thats twho whole pizzas. bro. thats great! thats amazing! thats two more pizzas than we had before. like seriously we set our mind to the piizza and our brain to the pizza and you smush it and you sus it and then you pizza. woaw! pizza. pizza.

what if we made more pizzas.we could make a pizza for everyone. everyone could knpow of our pizzas. everyone could be just as happy as us. isnt that great? isnt that amazing? we could all pizzas. we could ALL pizzas.

hold on. im calling the bros. they need to know. they need to pizza. ive got two bros right here ready for a pizza. do you think we can do it. thats double the pizza we’ve already made. it could be tough. i know this is a lot of pressure, and it really means a lot to me, but its ok if you want to back down now. pizza is a lot of work. its hard work. i know it is. you know it now too. but we can pizza. we can pizza together.

•

THANK YOU FOR PIZZA!

:) the bros really enjoyed the pizza. thanks for helping me make pizza very appreciate very cool. pizza. im handing you a pizza coupon right now i am folding it into your hand. what store does it go to? dont worry about that. its just a coupon for pizza, you dont have to worry about the specifics. they’ll know what to do with it.

they’ll know.

:)

[thebonecarver]

okay so i have no idea what clownverse is, but you should do something like when Nesta goes to the estate in the start of acosf and sees that nothing shows her but there actually is something but you have to put what you think would represent Nesta, I always wanted to see this as a fic or in the books but ive been too busy to write it ;-; can't wait to see what you do

Nesta Archeron was not made for love.

Her words were too sharp, compliments clumsy in her mouth, niceties bitter upon her tongue. Her hands were not created to heal, but rather to destroy, destroy, destroy. The current of her blood ran cold in her veins. The marrow of her bones was dark all through.

No one had ever seen her heart, the ugly hollow it had become, and chosen to stay at her side.

No one could. She just wouldn't let them.

The thoughts tore her apart from within, ripped her soul and mind and heart until she was screaming, until all she could do was stare blankly and hope death would be kinder.

Her body felt like a prison.

It was with hatred rending her soul that Nesta entered her sister's home.

It was with hatred coating her lips that she replied to their disdain and love and fucking stupid concern.

It was with hatred filling her lungs that she fled to the entryway, hands trembling uncontrollably.

Nesta was drowning, drowning in her own despair. She didn't fucking deserve the hopeful look Feyre had given her, that glance she knew so well from childhood, a little sibling looking to her older sister for all the answers.

She did not weep, because she had not wept in years.

She did not cry out, because the last time she had done so, she was five.

She did not beg for salvation, because she had long given up the wish she was made for redemption.

Nesta slid to her knees right there in the parlor, head bowed as though she knelt at her confessional. Her entire fucking body hurt, her heart hurt.

A whimper escaped her lips, devoid of hope, devoid of anything at all.

She raised her face to the artwork lining the halls, and the elegant brush strokes, the delighted drops of prismatic colour. . .

They were familiar as her own breath.

Once upon a time, when Feyre had been taken to a monster across the wall, Nesta had kept her sanity by pressing her fingertips to those dappled flowers on their old wooden table.

She had learned the curve of the petals, the texture, the hues, as if they were her lifeline.

And if her tears had splattered the painting, she could pretend her grief away.

Nesta lifted her shaking palms to her dry eyes, rubbed her vision. Those stupid fucking paintings. . . Feyre had left her sweet heart in the careful, loving renderings.

There was Cassian, tall and roguishly handsome, posed on a frozen lake. His siphons glowed crimson, casting his features into a dangerous light. His shadow was a smudge of black, rippling long and thin down the ice, wings thrown wide.

Azriel was just to his left, unconscious and crumpled on the floor of a battlefield she knew well. Blood was smeared over his face, his sharp jaw, the hollow of his cheekbones. His shadows stormed around him, furious and dark and terrifying.

Rhysand was to his right, and it was not a High Lord that held his blade so fiercely, that stood so proudly. It was a monster, a creature, a serpent risen of the night. His hair was stiff with blood, his body ravaged and torn, but he stared back with grim determination and scalding fury. A defender, a protector, a saviour. And still, his violet eyes were soft, alight with a gleam of love for what lay beyond his sword.

Morrigan was painted so lovingly that it ached, her brown eyes gentle, the curve of her mouth soft. She was seated on a throne, golden head lolling back carelessly, one long leg hooked over the armrest. A crown of stars rested upon her brow, the glow reminiscent of the sun. The warrior queen, forged of flame.

Elain, tending to a field of sweet spring flowers, her smile quiet; Lucien, his hands outstretched, sun lighting his hair to fire. Amren, ropes of ruby slung around her thin neck, teeth red with blood as she grinned fiercely. A creature in a long black shroud, eyes bright even through the dark.

A faint image of a tall, beautiful woman, her brown hair tangled, her clothes shredded, skin smeared in whorls of blood. Her face was set with love and pride and anger and intention, and wrath wrath wrath. Her sword was held high, and by the way she set her body, Nesta knew she did not think to live, only to hold the lines for a while longer. Beyond here were two figures, one with a head of copper, the other shadow black.

And there. . .

There was Feyre, head thrown back midlaugh, eyes alight with such mischief. Her soft hair was stained with paint, her airy dress tangled in the wind. That smile could have brought war to its knees.

Nesta's heart ached to see the painting, to see her littlest sister, frozen forever in her joy.

A joy she so richly deserved.

Nesta pressed two fingers to her lips, and before she could question herself, touched her hand to Feyre's grinning face.

She thought the imagine of her sweet sister, her patient sister, her brave sister, might linger forever against her vision, a ghost of all she might have had.

But Nesta was not made for love, and so she hurried back down the hall, head high, tongue coated in poison once more.

hey, just if anyone was confused as to how nesta's picture was there... well, we know elain's a seer, no? i have this headcanon she saw the image, but the faces were so blurred that feyre couldn't find nesta in the features :))

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVED IT AAA THIS IS SO GOOD SHIT IM CRYING-

[mixchsm]

Happy Times For Sad Times - MatchaBlossom Quick Write

As soon as Adam turned around, Kojiro's stomach churned. He felt like he could feel every ounce of hurt Kaoru went through in those few seconds. He'd bolted to his side as fast as possible, looking over his shaking body.

"Oh Kaoru.." he whispers, moving a hand to the back of his head and carefully pulling him against his chest. "You'll be okay, baby.." he mutters, adjusting him so he could carry him properly. His gaze falls to Adam when he starts talking, and a rage bubbles beneath the surface.

"It would always be you by his side, wouldn't it Kojiro?" he sighs.

"Thats what this is about?"

"Kaoru will always be boring. I refused to beef with the two of you because it was a lost cause." he says, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. "And you will always be the loving best friend that comes to his aid. You did then, and you did now."

Kojiro bites the inside of his cheek, "You're ridiculous, I was there then and now because I know how to show someone I love them without being a piece of-"

Shadow honked the horn, leaning out of the window once he stopped the car. "Joe! Cmon, lets go to the hospital."

He clenches his jaw and turns around, waiting for him to open the door before sliding into the backseat. He keeps Kaoru close, gently moving his bangs from his face before pulling down his ripped mouth covering.

"Breathe," he whispers, cupping his cheek gently. "Just stay awake for me, okay? Don't go anywhere."

Kaoru's shaking eyes find Kojiro's worried ones as his breathing slowly becomes shallow and labored. His hand trembles as it finds Kojiros, rested against his cheek, and he grips it gently. "Im.." he gulps down the lump in his throat, "Here.."

Kojiro lets out a soft breath, smiling at him, "Thank god, huh?"

Shadow looks through the rear view mirror, taking a deep breath, "We'll be there in less than ten, man."

"Mhm.." he mutters, staring at Kaoru. He leans down to his ear, stroking his hair gently. "You remember when we were younger and.. You tripped over your board and knocked the wind out of yourself? We sat together like this while your mom came sprinting down the block with your inhaler." He smiles, "And when we were in Italy together? You got sun poisoning.. I sat next to you in the hospital for hours petting your hair while you whined about how much you hated your red skin."

He was trying to keep him awake and conscious. On top of that, he wanted a smile from him. He didn't want to see Kaoru broken down like this. He wiped the blood that trickled down from his head and pressed his lips to his temple. As soon as the car stopped, Kojiro made his way out and into the emergency room. He set him down on the gurney before watching them run off with him further than he could go.

Kojiro turns to Shadow, who'd followed him in with Miya trailing close behind. "You guys don't have to be here." he says, "Im gonna have to do some uh.. Paperwork, for Kaoru, and make sure he's okay."

"Can we do anything?" he asks, "We wanna help you as best we can."

"Ive gotta.. I gotta do paperwork, I'll be alright." he says, "You two can stay if you want but you really don't have to, alright?"

They nod, leaving Kojiro to get lost in paperwork. Kaoru was examined for somewhere around an hour before being put into a room and admitted. Kojiro was advised to leave, but he remained in the waiting room until he finally lose his mind. He walked to the desk, asking for Kaoru's room, too tired to stir in his own mind anymore.

He b-lined to the room, seeing a panicked Kaoru gripping on tight to a nurse. He gulps, walking over to him and pulling his head into his chest. "You're alright, baby." he whispers, looking to the nurse with a soft smile.

"Mr Nanjo, visiting hours are over."

"Im more than a visitor." he nods to the wedding ring on his hand. He'd put it back on after sitting in the waiting room for so long. He gently stroked his hair, kissing the top of his head, "Im here, Kaoru."

Listening to him weep shattered his heart. He carefully moved onto the hospital bed, adjusting his body to keep Kaoru close to him. "I can't lose you, Kaoru. I won't do it." he whispers, kissing the top of his head. "I almost lost you to that idiot."

"Im sorry." he cries, gripping tight onto his shirt.

"Don't apologize, don't you dare apologize." he whispers, furrowing his brows. "God.. I could kill him."

Kojiro kisses his head again, gently wrapping his arms around him a little tighter so the two could be any closer than where they were.

[princeofvelvet]

Hi...how are you? If you don't mind me asking, what are your top 5 favorite moments from SVSSS novel? And why? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....

Hello!! Im good, thank you for asking! i love this question, and I dont think i've answered it before? It's hard to pick just five, honestly. I'm gonna limit this to just the novel, no extras, because i adore the extras and they'd probably take up most of this list! Oh, **spoilers ahead!**

Shen Qingqiu self destructs, Luo Binghe apologizes to his lifeless body: There's just nothing tastier than a character realizing what they've just lost and desperately trying to make up for it when it's too late. I just adore the regret, the sorrow! Luo Binghe is now a powerful demon lord but at heart he's a kid who's just lost everything again! His mother, the washer woman, now Shizun... All the power in the world and he can't keep the people he loves. My heart weeps. But the best part about this scene is that it's a temporary death LOL.

Luo Binghe pulls in the real Shen Qingqiu into his dreamscape: This was only going to be about the kiss (because what's not to love about an accidental confession/sexual harassment? This scene is amazing) but it's tied in second place with the second time SQQ visits his dreamscape after revival. That moment when he sees LBH essentially self harming over losing SQQ's body, and then SQQ calls out to him and LBH tries to wipe the blood off of his face but keeps making it worse and getting frustrated! AH, so good. Again, this is someone who just lost everything, and the last thread of hope he was holding onto was just snatched away! He's furious and grieving! And still he sees Shizun and he Stops, becomes a child who was just caught redhanded... My heart...

The mausoleum: Okay technically not just one scene but MAN what's not to love about this.. arc? SQQ saving the protagonist, accidental fondling! Not to mention the System's messages ahahaaha, the scene with huan hua palace master! then LBH hugging SQQ and apologizing because he didnt realize he hadn't been abandoned! GOD and to top it off it ends with a vore scene, come onnn, it's perfect!

The Kiss: In the first version BingQiu had a heartfelt conversation and that was nice, but nothing can top LBH being unable to wait another moment to kiss Shen Qingqiu after he almost lost him again. It's an "im so happy you're alive!" kiss, an "I thought I lost you!" kiss, an "Ive wanted to do this for so long" kiss.... How many times during those five years SQQ was dead do you think Luo Binghe sat there staring at Shizun's "sleeping" face, wanting nothing more than for him to open his eyes, and to kiss him? I'm getting emotional! Honorable mention: ONLY TWO ROOMS: This scene is perfection. I saw fanart of it before I read the novel and i just immediately fell in love with SQQ's boss ass bitch moment when he made LQG and LBH share a room. But after reading it in the novel, I love so much about it! Earlier how SQQ was concerned for LBH, holding him so he didnt fall off the sword, just letting LBH hang onto him, telling LQG he can go on ahead because he wants his disciple to get some Sleep!... and ofc LBH getting only two rooms, even if it doesnt work out in his favor ahahaha Shen Qingqiu you should have shared a room with him!

Shen Qingqiu witnesses Shen Jiu dumping tea on bunhe: This just breaks my heart. It's time for SQQ to be the one feeling helpless over not being able to save LBH! To want to pick him up and shield him from the cruel world! To realize how much he's hurting! He can't do anything to change the past, he can only move forward, but it still hurts!

This is just a "current" list of course. Sometimes emotions over other scenes rise to the top and scramble my list, but I just adore these moments right now for its flavors: the desperation (over loss, over realization, over reunion..), the Need (for contact, for love, for comfort..), BingQiu stumbling in the dark of their relationship! God I could talk about them for hours

[sothischickshe]

not last line tag

i was tagged by some ppl to do the last line tag recently @sdktrs12 @inyoursheets @pynkhues @missmaxime probs someone else idk this thing is unusable.

anyway, that was obvi v foolish and mean of them, so instead im going to have a what-write-next-breakdown which i think is def a better meme

so like ok on the one hand: i would quite like to write the incentive fic next cos ive been wanting to write it for ages & im very excited abt it.

BUT it’s presumably set in s3 & i’d need to go rewatch a bunch of s3 n im not sure i def wanna do that in the midst of s4 airing so maybe i’d rather wait till that’s done?? ALTHOUGH...how long is this hiatus when is the show back do we know?!

SO i thought maybe i actually wanna write the rio pov sequel to dirty dirty game next rather cos that doesn’t really require me to rewatch anything!

BUT it’s gonna be rio pov (duh) & probs longish & probs a bit angsty, and i just wrote something that was rio pov & longishish & angsty, SO like...if i do this next, am I gonna wanna write a long angsty rio pov incentive fic?! or will i just be putting that off forever??! *i* at least believe in flippage yknow?

SO! i thought maybe actually what i want to write next is the (hero) dean pov crackfic?! cos that’s gonna be short so fucking help me & only really involves rewatching a bit of the s1 finale/s2 opening probs. BUT that’s 3 crackfics in a row n i might need some variety in my life haha PLUS if it IS short (which it god damn will be grr), then im back to the same problem shortly?! ALTHOUGH i have no real idea what dean’s voice is like so maybe i can just write something like 600 words long n then fiddle with it for the rest of time hmmm

AND i do have a title idea i like for the dean pov fic, AND one i like ok for the dirty game follow up (& i guess an acceptable series title), whereas i dont have a great title idea for the incentive fic?! ugh. (maybe i should chop it into chapters or a series? hmm.)

IN CONCLUSION... yea does anyone know when this hiatus is over?! (i guess the beauty of a s3 setting is that i can ignore s4 canon if i wish hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmmmmm.)

i guess the OTHER thing is: some of the stuff from the 5 times rio asked beth to hit him again + 1 time he didnt fic was snipped from the incentive fic, n canon is making writing abt masochist rio less fun (though probs more accurate lol) n im not sure if i maybe wanna re-absorb them back into the incentive fic w/ less slapping n give up on the idea...? (BUT also jfc it’d probs end up so long i’d weep oof)

ALSO i think i know roughly how all 3 of them start but also.... i need the one documentary for rio to watch n then think he’s an expert for the 2 rio pov ones sooooooooooooo maybe i should go watch a bunch of docs n not write? yea sounds like a decent shout actually, thanks guys!

anyway, i tag all these ppl back to have a breakdown back bc i maintain it’s a much better meme plus @septiembrre @bourbon-ontherocks @riosnecktattoo n @mego42 who im pretty sure tagged me for a line at some point but wot is time, n also if you can read this n wanna screech, I TAG THEE!

[deripmaver]

7 for the fic ask meme 👀

OMG HEY HEY i lov ur writing your "bubble up in me" series fills me with uwus

this got kind of long bc i couldnt pick just one!!!! so its behind a cut just to be safe

7. What’s your favourite piece of description or narration?

okay im gonna give three examples bc im a cheater. the first is the ending of the aimeric fic:

It does not matter.

The regent is not here now.

Aimeric is completely, utterly alone.

the second is the ending of "the worlds more full of weeping" (spoilers i guess lol):

He sunk his fingers into the dirt. He felt cradled by it, felt warm and cozy as though it was holding him and not these too-small bones. If Laurent closed his eyes and really, really focused, he imagined he could feel the tiny, skeletal hand clinging to his beneath the earth, the two of them connected like one line from past to present.

“I know how scared you were,” Laurent said, eyes filling with tears. “I feel it still, how scared you were. I also feel how happy you were, what you were waiting for, what you never got to do.”

[...]

“I’m all that’s left,” Laurent whispered, peering down into the blackness of the earth. “I am all that’s left of you.”

He thought, maybe Auguste and I should go riding, later today.

and the third, and a completely different vibe altogether LMFAOOO is just this random sexy stream of consciousness from "control" (huge nsfw lauguste warning lmaooooooo):

How had he thought Auguste wasn’t good at this kind of play? He could be whipped, his tits could be beaten until he cried, they could fuck his open, aching cunt and fill him with their hot cum, and he could endure it – this, though, this, not only being opened wide in front of them but being made to cum through it, it was torture.

It was too much. His body was betraying him, again and again and again, cumming no matter how much he begged them to stop from behind the gag, making him enjoy it like a wanton slut. He never wanted to cum again, but they kept forcing him to, and he could not stop it from happening no matter how hard he willed it. His mind did not matter, his thoughts did not matter, he was just a toy, a slave to his body and his throbbing, swollen clit.

Damen, at some point, abandoned the crop for a second vibrating wand, and he and Auguste rubbed it alternately along either side of his clit, drawing the orgasms out faster and harder. Once, one of them dipped their wand low, circling the tiny dot of his urethral opening, and Laurent begged, “Stick it in there, stick it in anywhere, just don’t touch my clit anymore, please, I’m begging you, I’m begging you-”

Then, the next moment, it was back up on his clit, and Laurent’s sobs turned into screams.

for the first two, i like the narration/description because i think both of these were a kind of character study. i like the aimeric one because i think that's the crux of aimeric's character lmaoooo him having genuinely no support. the ending takes place with aimeric at 12-13 ish, but the ending line of aimeric being alone fits aimeric at basically every age, and also serves as a way to describe him immediately before he commits suicide (the passages of him right before his suicide are interspersed with that final "segment" at 12-13 immediately after the regent has left fortaine)

for twmfow (yes im finally abbreviating the title LMAO its too long to keep writing) i like it bc as ive said before that fic is 100% about trauma and ptsd. at the very end, laurent is finally acknowledging that he can never go back to how he was before he was traumatized, and he's letting himself grieve for all of the things that changed bc of his abuse, of course in this fic very literally as his younger, non-traumatized self is represented by a literal corpse (or, well, skeleton). but just to leave things on a happier note, i wanted to write that yeah, laurent cant "go back" like he wanted to at the beginning of the fic, but he can grieve and he can have new happy experiences with the ppl who love him. AND SO CAN YOU, READER!!!!!!!

for "control" i dont have anything really meaningful to say LMFAO i just am an absolute fucking slut for forced orgasms. the whole fic was inspired by this INSANE hentai manga thats basically the same premise as "control" (but actual noncon instead of cnc). anyway this passage was absolutely filthy and intense and i really liked writing it