#IT WILL BE FUN???

[ruggythebugwithamug]

I have hatched a most terrible scheme, but I need feedback on whether I should do it or not!

To preface this: I’m the shortest person in my friend group, and over school holidays I won’t really be seeing my friend group much. I have come up with the idea that I could maybe chat to my friends over discord, claiming that I had grown taller (maybe a few centimetres) over the holidays!!

Bear with me.

And like, I’ll do it how I would genuinely react, disbelief, jokes and letting it get to my head, except it’s ALL A RUSE!!!

I WILL return on that Thursday morn, my regular height, nothing different about little old rug, and they will be shocked and appalled I’d go to so much effort to do something dumb like that

I’m also thinking I could take a bunch of photos (maybe edit them) to further prove it, like in one I could have me finally being able to reach the top cabinet. Maybe after it’s all over I could make some memey ones where I’ve edited my shadow to look like I had the long spider legs like the scary other mother from coraline!!

to do this I’d have to dedicate like 3 weeks worth of bs lies, I’m thinking I’ll start with saying how, ‘oh, my back hurts’, and then that transforms into ‘I felt taller so I remeasured my height and i’ve HAD A GROWTH SPURT???’ And then it becomes acceptance and I do the stupid photos and make comments like now I’ll finally be able to reach the tall friend’s shoulder instead of their forearm

please be honest, is this batshit crazy? because if I commit myself to the bit I require all the confidence I can get or else I will crumble after a few days

[steampunkforever]

I would still use my turn signals in the Mad Max Wasteland. They'd call me "Signal" because I'd hit my blinker before ramming the enemy hot rods into the side of a desert ravine. I'd use my turn signal every time. They would respect me for this.

[vamprisms]

i feel like a lot of the 'i hate kids' crowd would be more tolerant if they understood that due to a kid's limited experience of the world that 4 hour flight might just be the longest they've ever had to sit still for or that trapped finger might literally be the most pain they've ever felt in their short life or they might not have ever seen a person with pink hair ever so of course they want to touch it or nobody's told them yet that they can't run around the museum and they only just learned cheetahs are the fastest animals so of course they want to put that to the test. how were they supposed to know etc etc.

[its-yashas-strong-arms]

FINALLY some good fucking feature ideas from the tumblr devs. tamagotchi renaissance now

[batshit-auspol]

For those that aren't in Australia right now, we have the funniest scandal going on.

Firstly let us introduce you to the eye of the storm: Sam Kerr. Sam is a women's soccer player who has in the last year become one of the most famous and beloved athletes in Australia. Captain of the women's national team, Sam became something of a cult figure after the last Women's Soccer World Cup became a complete unpredicted sensation in Australia, with the whole country getting behind the team.

Sam, up until now, has had probably one of the most squeaky clean images in sport. Generally in Australia it is not uncommon for our sports stars to be caught up in scandals involving drugs:

violence:

drinking their own urine:

or if you're cricket legend Shane Warne, probably all three at once.

Contrasting all this, Sam's image as the squeaky clean saviour for sport made it all the more shocking this last week, when it was announced that Kerr was to face trial after having been charged by the UK police of a "racially aggravated offence" involving a taxi driver.

This was shocking news. Nobody knew what to make of it. Sam was a model for young girls everywhere and a national treasure. "This is why we can't have nice things" screamed the nation. It seemed like all hope was lost.

That is, until, yesterday, when the UK police finally revealed the full details of the case, in which Sam Kerr, sporting legend, was arrested for vomiting in a cab, and then telling an intervening police officer that he was a “stupid white bastard”.

Now we probably don't need to point out that in Australia, vomiting in a taxi and then calling a cop a bastard is about as close to a national culture as we have.

You could not have come up with a better headline to make someone a national hero.

Needless to say, Sam in now being hailed down under as the greatest legend that ever lived, and a petition has already been started to have her picture added to the $5 note.

The tide has swung so far that not one, but TWO, state Premiers have spoken out in support of Kerr, and the Prime Minister has even gone on the record describing her as "a delight".

And so ends the racial abuse saga of our greatest sports hero of all time, and the very first reverse milkshake duck to ever exist.

[anartificialsatellite]

The older I get the more I admire people who are earnestly, genuinely into whatever their thing is. I know it sounds like an annoying cliche but unless you're being cruel or hurtful there is really no need to be normal about things. The dude with the bad fake accent at the renaissance faire is having the time of his life. The people having photoshoots with their fashion dolls are loving it. The old lady with a yard unreasonably full of tacky ass lawn ornaments is having a blast, HOA be damned.

Don't waste your time being too cool to have fun, y'know?

[brightlotusmoon]

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Found this really scary new horror game yall should check out. It's called indeed.com and it has a sequel called linkedin

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[enemywasp]

I'm sorry I keep posting my tiktok comments but please. What does this mean. What do people THINK shipping is for anymore???

[fluentisonus]

trains will announce you're stopping in places you never knew existed

[hunny-k]

This is the funniest way you could've put it

[mushroom-punk]

YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE 'WHAT' ZONE

happy episode 11!

[badolmen]

WARNING 18+

19

[yuri-alexseygaybitch]

They need to invent more fake celebrities like Hatsune Miku and Gorillaz and the Muppets because it's genuinely the most sustainable way to maintain a parasocial relationship with the entertainer class.

[batshit-auspol]

Australian Federal Election 2001: Pranksters follow around Prime Ministerial contender Kim Beazley in an attempt to sneak fake microphones into news footage

Follow for more Batshit Moments in Australian Politics