#short people jokes

[xblackreader]

How to talk to short people:

[lstarw]

I’m really scared of people over 5”7 like what if they have the sudden urge to like lick my head or bite my hair or something

[noahsfault]

This is how it feels when a friend is 1cm taller than you but won’t shut up about it:

[supratoyota-catboy]

Being a short person is so difficult and demeaning that when a 5'2 or 5'0 person finally finds someone shorter then them. They don't do the logical thing of forming a party together to advocate for elimination of all tall people that constantly make fun of their height. No, the lack of self esteem from those short jokes has caused a desperate desire to cause pain to others becuase of that pain. So that 5'2 or 5'0 person does not say 'oh hey! I totally get what you've been through and let me share my sympathy for this pain we both deal with and only us can understand' nah thats never happened. They instead say 'haahahahahahhahaahahahhaha you still have to climb on the counter to reach the microwave😂😂😂😂😂🤣'

[cindelya]

Watch "How to talk to short people" on YouTube

[your-lost-nixie]

Sitting down and tall people walking past kinda looking like

[ruggythebugwithamug]

I have hatched a most terrible scheme, but I need feedback on whether I should do it or not!

To preface this: I’m the shortest person in my friend group, and over school holidays I won’t really be seeing my friend group much. I have come up with the idea that I could maybe chat to my friends over discord, claiming that I had grown taller (maybe a few centimetres) over the holidays!!

Bear with me.

And like, I’ll do it how I would genuinely react, disbelief, jokes and letting it get to my head, except it’s ALL A RUSE!!!

I WILL return on that Thursday morn, my regular height, nothing different about little old rug, and they will be shocked and appalled I’d go to so much effort to do something dumb like that

I’m also thinking I could take a bunch of photos (maybe edit them) to further prove it, like in one I could have me finally being able to reach the top cabinet. Maybe after it’s all over I could make some memey ones where I’ve edited my shadow to look like I had the long spider legs like the scary other mother from coraline!!

to do this I’d have to dedicate like 3 weeks worth of bs lies, I’m thinking I’ll start with saying how, ‘oh, my back hurts’, and then that transforms into ‘I felt taller so I remeasured my height and i’ve HAD A GROWTH SPURT???’ And then it becomes acceptance and I do the stupid photos and make comments like now I’ll finally be able to reach the tall friend’s shoulder instead of their forearm

please be honest, is this batshit crazy? because if I commit myself to the bit I require all the confidence I can get or else I will crumble after a few days

[thingsmy-partner-says]

“I’m not trying to be mean, but can you reach the pedals?”

For reference, I’m short

[bitchymee]

The brutal truth is that short people are not meant for concerts.

I mean, at this point, why do I even try. I can not even see the FUXKING screen.

[autismmydearwatson]

I hate all tall people but I'm also attracted to every single one of them and that's why my life is so hard because everyone's taller than me

[loriache]

"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."

This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.

I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.

Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)

His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:

A) a short lived person

B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.

The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.

But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".

So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.

Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.

The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.

Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.

Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!

Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!

On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.

That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.

The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.

And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.

And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.

Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.

Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.

Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!

I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.

Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!

and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.

[tgirltorment]

Short people talk big game as if they couldn't be carried away by an Andean Condor (Vultur Gryphus)

[talesofruby01]

The two types of short people:

1:

“oH iM jUsT sO sHoRt tEeHeE🤭🥺”

2:

“𝗜𝗠 𝗚𝗢𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗢 𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗔𝗟 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗦𝗢𝗨𝗟"

[worldofdreamweavers]

You know you’re short when the “cropped” leggings are full-length on you

[cheeto-flavoured-pasta]

Stop being cowards and make your important male characters shorter, goddamnit

[themathomhouse]

this disability pride month, stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs standing up or walking.

can I stand and walk? sure, for a short while and with pain. the consequences for trying to be out all day without a wheelchair are that I'll be in bed for the rest of the week, too tired and in too much pain to move.

but the government won't give me my own wheelchair because they have the same attitude as these jokes - I can stand up, so I don't need one. exercise is good for you, you should walk!

it keeps me trapped in the house, unable to do anything more than short stints anywhere without borrowing or hiring a wheelchair - one that causes me pain to sit in and relies on someone to push me (usually with difficulty), because they're not going to have a high-end chair for that sort of thing.

it's not a miracle that a wheelchair user can stand or walk. it's something we should aspire to see more often.