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denimbex1986 · 4 months

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'“All of Us Strangers” is a lovely way to begin 2024, not because it’s especially seasonal — though one key scene takes place around Christmastime — but because it’s just so beautifully acted and tenderly observant. Writer-director Andrew Haigh’s drama made a lot of Top 10 lists for 2023. I always miss two or three such films around the holiday crunchtime. The upside, now that “All of Us Strangers” is opening in a wee handful of Chicago theaters this week, is the opportunity to start the year on a high note.

We meet Adam, played by Andrew Scott, alone in a newly built London high-rise, conspicuously light on residents. He’s a writer, accustomed to solitude, and to living a cautious life mostly inside his imagination.

Lately, he has begun a screenplay about his parents, played in Haigh’s film by Claire Foy and Jamie Bell, and an early close-up of a document on Adam’s laptop reads “EXT. (exterior) SUBURBAN HOUSE 1987.” As we learn soon enough, that year, 1987, changed then-12-year-old Adam’s life forever.

In his apartment Adam hears a knock; it’s Harry, another man who lives in the building, drunk and available. They have spied each other from a distance but never spoken. Played by Paul Mescal, Harry makes a pass at Adam (who’s also gay) but Adam declines, politely. In more sober circumstances, some time later after awkward small talk in the elevator, they get together. And across an unfixed, undetermined number of days and nights, their story becomes the love story of “All of Us Strangers.”

If the film were only about that story, it would serve as a fitting bookend to Haigh’s excellent second feature, “Weekend.” But it’s larger, more mysterious than that. As Adam reveals details about his fraught, long-ago relationship to his parents, who we learn early on (not a spoiler) died in a car crash, Harry becomes his lover, sounding board and romantic possibility.

Numerous times throughout “All of Us Strangers,” Adam travels by train to revisit the home where he grew up. It’s the suburban house referred to in his screenplay, located in Dorking, 21 miles south of London. What he finds there defies explanation; his parents apparently live there still, just as they were in 1987. This is Adam’s research in supernatural form; he’s revisiting not just a place but communing with the memory of his lost parents. Many things between Adam and his parents went unsaid when they were all together. As a child, Adam always knew he was gay and was bullied for being sensitive, different, “creative” — all the euphemisms and condescending code words for queer. Did his parents know what he was going through? Would they have accepted him for who he was, in the years of the AIDS epidemic? What would they think of him now that he’s an adult, coping with so much childhood loss and deeply buried emotions?

There are a couple of different ways to experience “All of Us Strangers.” It can be watched as a fluid sort of reverie on roads and conversations not taken — heartbreaking ones. It can also be watched as an exercise in subtle visual excellence. Haigh is a rare writer-director indeed, equally skillful on the page and behind his camera. As Adam falls into a trance of aching nostalgia for what he lost, the movie becomes almost liquid in its flow in and out of dreamscapes and reality. (Cinematographer Jamie D. Ramsay shot the movie on 35-millimeter film, perfect for the exquisite cross-fades and dissolves Haigh favors.) Haigh used his own boyhood home in South London’s Croydon area as the boyhood home in the movie, unobtrusively color-coding the scenes to reflect Adam’s states of mind.

Dorking, Adam tells Harry early on, is “not for people like me.” A couple of decades younger (at least going by the ages of Scott and Mescal), Harry can relate, but he grew up in a less clamped-down, AIDS-ravaged time. Haigh has come up with a personal response, in the best way, to his source material, the Japanese novel “Strangers” by Taichi Yamada, built around a heterosexual scenario. Haigh’s adaptation is fully its own creation, and while it does skirt the edge of sentimentality in its final minutes, it’s true and moving en route.

Like all his first-rate work prior to “All of Us Strangers” — from “Weekend” to “45 Years” to “Lean On Pete” — Haigh’s latest brings out the best in its performers. Scott conveys a wealth of profoundly affecting sadness and resolve; Mescal matches his work with a vital portrayal full of slightly unruly lost-boy charisma. The scenes with Bell and Foy as Adam’s 1987-era parents are enough to make you weep for all the people in the world who, whether their stories are like Adam’s story or not, wonder and ruminate about all the unspoken somethings from their childhoods.

We carry those somethings with us, however long we live. Haigh, one of our very best writer-directors, has taken familiar feelings and oft-explored ideas in his own spectral direction with “All of Us Strangers.” Sad as it is at its core, it’s an inspiring way to start a new movie year.

"All of Us Strangers" 3.5 stars (out of 4)'

#All of Us Strangers #Andrew Haigh #Weekend #45 Years #Andrew Scott #Paul Mescal #Claire Foy #Jamie Bell #Jamie D. Ramsay #Taichi Yamada #Strangers #Lean on Pete

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dykecrawler · 11 months

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its hard for me to get onboard with the people who keep saying spider//verse revolutionized the industry because like. i dont find overworking your staff particularly revolutionary. im aware they made some bonkers innovations for animation but they did it under crunchtime, overworking, underpayment, etc. i dont think we should reward this behavior as revolutionary when its been the standard quo since the birth of capitalism

#i liked the movie i just think you guys are dumb as shit

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dnaamericaapp · 1 year

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Michelle Singletary’s Money Milestones For Every Age

Happy 20s!

You’re off your parents’ bankroll and possibly their health insurance. Now what? A bunch of adulting decisions await you, from understanding why FICA will matter to your older self, to building a strong credit history, to saving and investing for retirement. Starting out can be daunting — especially if you’ve got student debt — but you also have a powerful wealth-building ally: time.

Happy 30s!

Your 30s are pivotal, a period potentially brimming with big money moments: buying your first home, getting married, growing your family. Make this decade count. The habits and decisions you make now may well be your strongest path to prosperity and financial security.

Happy 40s!

The tiptoe toward middle age is crunchtime. Your 40s typically give you entry to your highest-earning years. But maybe you’re sandwiched between the competing needs of your kids and your parents. Or you’re recovering from divorce. Maybe you’re just ready to tackle all that credit card debt. If you haven’t already, this is the decade to get serious about your money.

Happy 50s!

You may have gotten an invitation from AARP during its last membership drive, making you wonder where all the time went. No will? Get on that right away. And if you haven’t been strategic about your money, start now. You can play catch-up even this close to retirement, though you might need to call on a financial planner to get there.

Happy 60s!

I know. You looked up, and somehow you’re in your 60s. Retirement is closer, or a full-blown reality. As you navigate through this decade, you’ll need to make some smart money moves about Social Security, Medicare and your post-work finances.

Happy 70s!

Your 70s can be challenging. The years of moderation have paid off, but you may find it hard to spend after years of steadily saving. Or, perhaps, you’re worried about having enough. Got an estate plan? If you don’t, what are you waiting for?

Happy 80s!

What kind of financial legacy will you leave? Will it be one of peace or confusion? Will health issues necessitate a major change in your living situation, or will you be able to stay at home with a little help?

#dna #dnaamerica #news #politics

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newstfionline · 1 year

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Saturday, January 14, 2023

Cali-flood-ication (AP/Reuters) Over the past few weeks, California has been hit by seven deadly atmospheric rivers since Christmas, with more rain on the way. Atmospheric rivers are water vapor-filled rivers in the sky, snaking through the atmosphere in columns up to 375 miles wide while transporting “an amount of water vapor roughly equivalent to 7.5-15 times the average flow of water at the mouth of the Mississippi River.” Some parts of California have experienced up to 30 inches of rain. Thanks to the torrential downpours, the amount of extreme drought in the state has dropped from 27.1% to 0.32%. The amount of snowpack in the Sierra Nevada mountains is up 226% from its normal numbers for this time of year. Snowpack melting down from the mountains is crucial to California’s water supply during the warmer months. While the deluge has relieved some of the state’s most pressing water issues, California’s largest reservoirs at Shasta and Oroville are still at 42% and 47% of capacity, respectively. For reference, they’re usually at 85% and 100% by this time of the year on average. The rains also failed to strengthen the Colorado River Basin, which means the region’s 22-year megadrought will continue on.

US consumer inflation eased again to 6.5% in December (AP) Rising U.S. consumer prices moderated again last month, bolstering hopes that inflation’s grip on the economy will continue to ease this year and possibly require less drastic action by the Federal Reserve to control it. Inflation declined to 6.5% in December compared with a year earlier, the government said Thursday. It was the sixth straight year-over-year slowdown, down from 7.1% in November. On a monthly basis, prices actually slipped 0.1% from November to December, the first such drop since May 2020. Still, the Fed doesn’t expect inflation to slow enough to get close to its 2% target until well into 2024. Even as inflation gradually slows, it remains a painful reality for many Americans, especially with such necessities as food, energy and rents having soared over the past 18 months.

US spies lag rivals in seizing on data hiding in plain sight (AP) As alarms began to go off globally about a novel coronavirus spreading in China, officials in Washington turned to the intelligence agencies for insights about the threat the virus posed to America. But the most useful early warnings came not from spies or intercepts, according to a recent congressional review of classified reports from December 2019 and January 2020. Officials were instead relying on public reporting, diplomatic cables and analysis from medical experts—some examples of so-called open source intelligence, or OSINT. “There is little indication that the Intelligence Community’s exquisite collection capabilities were generating information that was valuable to policymakers,” wrote the authors of the review. That echoes what many current and former intelligence officials are increasingly warning: The $90 billion U.S. spy apparatus is falling behind because it has not embraced collecting open-source intelligence.

The doctor won’t see you now: Covid winters are making long hospital waits the new normal (Washington Post) As the United States enters its third full covid winter, a top administration official is warning that the permanence of the coronavirus in the disease landscape could mean brutal and long-lasting seasonal surges of cold-weather illnesses for years to come, resulting in hospitals struggling to care for non-covid emergencies and unable to give patients timely, lifesaving treatments. Winter has traditionally been crunchtime for hospitals because of influenza and another seasonal pathogen, respiratory syncytial virus, or RSV. Now SARS-CoV-2 has joined them to form an unholy trinity of pathogens that surge in the cold months. White House covid-19 response coordinator Ashish Jha said the American health-care system may not be able to withstand the continued viral onslaught, straining the system’s ability to care for other serious illnesses. “I am worried that we are going to have, for years, our health system being pretty dysfunctional, not being able to take care of heart attack patients, not being able to take care of cancer patients, not being able to take care of the kid who’s got appendicitis because we’re going to be so overwhelmed with respiratory viruses for … three or four months a year,” Jha told The Washington Post.

Bolivia: Opposition blockades push for leader’s release (AP) Outside Santa Cruz, Bolivia’s most populous city, the highway starts to resemble a parking lot with dozens of cargo-laden trucks stopped in a long line as exhausted-looking drivers wait by the side of the road. The vehicles are blocked by large mounds of sand piled on the highway as it passes through the town of San Carlos, 68 miles (110 kilometers) from Santa Cruz. No cars or trucks pass the mounds, only motorcycles transporting people. “This measure is to make the government realize that they can’t live without Santa Cruz,” said Micol Paz, a 32-year-old activist with Santa Cruz Gov. Luis Fernando Camacho’s Creemos political party. The detention on terrorism charges in December of Camacho, the country’s most prominent opposition leader, sparked a series of protests in this eastern region that is Bolivia’s economic engine and farming hub. Road blockades demanding his release, like the one in San Carlos, have thrown the distribution chain into chaos, caused prices to surge and worsened tensions between the leftist government in capital of La Paz and right-wing opposition based in Santa Cruz.

Sweden’s new rare-earth metal find likely big deal for Western consumers (Washington Post) Sweden has discovered what is billed as Europe’s biggest deposit of rare earth minerals—a crucial component for electronics and clean energy needs—giving a significant boost to the continent’s hunt for trade security. LKAB, the Swedish state-owned mining company, announced Thursday that it found deposits of more than 1 million tons of rare earth metals in the country’s far northern Lapland province. Products ranging from smartphones to electric vehicles and even military jets require these rare earth elements which are not currently mined in Europe, the company said. Much of the world’s supply comes from China, which has used them as a geopolitical tool. LKAB President Jan Mostrom said in a statement that the find could be a “significant building block” for Europe, which faces a “supply problem.” But the company also said that it would take at least a decade before rare earth minerals from the find hit market.

Western Tanks Appear Headed to Ukraine, Breaking Another Taboo (NYT) Western officials increasingly fear that Ukraine has only a narrow window to prepare to repel an anticipated Russian springtime offensive, and are moving fast to give the Ukrainians sophisticated weapons they had earlier refused to send for fear of provoking Moscow. Over the last few weeks, one barrier after another has fallen, starting with an agreement by the United States in late December to send a Patriot air-defense system. That was followed by a German commitment last week to provide a Patriot missile battery, and in the span of hours, France, Germany and the United States each promised to send armored fighting vehicles to Ukraine’s battlefields for the first time. Now it looks likely that modern Western tanks will be added to the growing list of powerful weapons being sent Ukraine’s way, as the United States and its allies take on more risk to defend Ukraine—especially as its military has made unexpected advances and held out against withering assaults.

With F.B.I. Search, U.S. Escalates Global Fight Over Chinese Police Outposts (NYT) The nondescript, six-story office building on a busy street in New York’s Chinatown lists several mundane businesses on its lobby directory. A more remarkable enterprise, on the third floor, is unlisted: a Chinese outpost suspected of conducting police operations without jurisdiction or diplomatic approval—one of more than 100 such outfits around the world that are unnerving diplomats and intelligence agents. F.B.I. counterintelligence agents searched the building last fall as part of a criminal investigation being conducted with the U.S. attorney’s office in Brooklyn, according to people with knowledge of the inquiry. The search represents an escalation in a global dispute over China’s efforts to police its diaspora far beyond its borders. Western officials see the outposts as part of Beijing’s larger drive to keep tabs on Chinese nationals abroad, including dissidents. The most notorious such effort is known as Operation Fox Hunt, in which Chinese officials hunt down fugitives abroad and pressure them to return home. At least four Chinese localities—Fuzhou, Qingtian, Nantong and Wenzhou—have set up dozens of police outposts, according to state media accounts and public statements published in China. They identify sites in Japan, Italy, France, Britain, Germany, Hungary, the Czech Republic and other nations.

Socked in by smog, Indian officials invest heavily—in public relations (Washington Post) In late 2020, the leader of Delhi’s government unveiled a new tool developed by university researchers to fight the Indian capital’s notorious air pollution. Standing before a horde of cameras, New Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal held a hose and squirted a chemical spray that he said could decompose the residue of harvested crops, thus eliminating the need for farmers to burn this stubble every winter and spew toxic emissions into the air. More than two years on, the Delhi government, led by Kejriwal’s Aam Aadmi Party (AAP), has spent about $4,300 manufacturing the spray—and $2.8 million publicizing it—according to official documents released in the city’s assembly. Meanwhile, air pollution continues to plague the Indian capital, with pollutant levels this month almost 30 times higher than the World Health Organization’s safe limit. The spray is an example of how Indian officials have grappled with one of the most pressing problems facing northern India by introducing new pollution-fighting efforts with highly visible marketing campaigns and barely visible results.

In a First, South Korea Declares Nuclear Weapons a Policy Option (NYT) President Yoon Suk Yeol of South Korea said for the first time on Wednesday that if North Korea’s nuclear threat grows, South Korea would consider building nuclear weapons of its own or ask the United States to redeploy them on the Korean Peninsula. Speaking during a joint policy briefing by his defense and foreign ministries on Wednesday, Mr. Yoon was quick to add that building nuclear weapons was not yet an official policy. He stressed that South Korea would for now deal with North Korea’s nuclear threat by strengthening its alliance with the United States. Mr. Yoon’s comments marked the first time since the United States withdrew all of its nuclear weapons from the South in 1991 that a South Korean president officially mentioned arming the country with nuclear weapons.

Nighttime Israeli arrests haunt Palestinian kids, families (AP) Yousef Mesheh was sleeping in his bunk bed when Israeli forces stormed into his West Bank home at 3 a.m. Within moments, the 15-year-old Palestinian said he was lying on the floor as troops punched him, shouting insults. A soldier struck his mother’s chest with his rifle butt and locked her in the bedroom, where she screamed for her sons. Yousef and his 16-year-old brother, Wael, were hauled out of their home in Balata refugee camp in the northern West Bank. “I can’t forget that night,” Yousef told The Associated Press from his living room, decorated with photos of Wael, who remains in detention. “When I go to sleep I still hear the shooting and screaming.” The Israeli military arrested and interrogated hundreds of Palestinian teenagers in 2022 in the occupied West Bank, without ever issuing a summons or notifying their families, according to an upcoming report by the Israeli human rights organization HaMoked. In the vast majority of the military’s pre-planned arrests of minors last year, children were taken from their homes in the dead of the night, HaMoked said. After being yanked out of bed, children as young as 14 were interrogated while sleep-deprived and disoriented. Water, food and access to toilets were often withheld.

#headlines #news

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ajaneofmanytalents · 2 years

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Having now watched some streams of Pokémon Scarlet and Violet, I have come to know three desires.

Top of the list is that the industry stops with the unrealistic deadlines that necessitate crunchtime, and that it fairly pays and fairly treats its employees. A Jane can dream, after all.

Second, that the jank, lag, and visual issues in S/V get corrected to the extent possible given the Switch hardware.

Third, that a second quest à la Gold/Silver/Crystal gets added. Kalos is right there y'all, it probably shares a border with Paldea like France does IRL with the Iberian Peninsula.

#Pokémon Scarlet/Violet #worker rights #fuck capitalism

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lanchang · 3 years

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hi....

#dont rb this i think but its chapter 1 of the fabled sc asmr fic.....#the title is kind of weak but it was crunchtime #textp

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cyancherub · 2 years

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im taking your hand and kissing your palm then ur knuckles in a really sexy way rn. baby please come to bed (i want u to get that 7 golden hours of sleep) seriously tho don't push urself too hard!! i just. got worried for a bit 🥺👉👈

PLSS WHY AM I BLUSHING HELLO.. runs to the bathroom to start getting ready for bed just for u

#thotbox #thotmail #KISSING MY KNUCKLES IN A SEXY WAY? i WILL fall in luv #IN ALL SERIOUSNESS do not worry my beloved its just crunchtime so im trying to get the fic out of my brain BUT #i am taking care of myself ;v;#kisses u tenderly

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legionofpotatoes · 5 years

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it’s a good article and it needed to be written.

this isn’t about goddamn games, it’s about the real life people who make them and the toll it takes on their livelihoods

#it takes one (1) second of critical thinking and research to confirm all the shit #i will never ever defend their management anymore #or any other studio that does this #and NO we shouldn’t generalize #we need to laser-target every single fucking studio that does this with huge exposes until the upper echelons are rattled enough #negativity for ts #and ya know? i get it #the economic model of game development is wack #an environment was created that predisposes its customer base to constant innnovation at no additional expense #so the rveenue streams and crunchtime become a sort of necessity #but it just points to the inherent rot of the entire SYSTEM #U N I O N I Z A T I O N #I am so angry #and so so glad I didn’t go into gamedev dear fucking lord

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stanford-pines · 3 years

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when i finally bite the bullet and buy every physical volume of mob psycho like a complete idiot, im just gonna get them in japanese, fuck whatever is going on with the weird official translations

#its not as bad as that german ‘oh youre homophobic’ thing but it is significantly less funny or endearing #than ‘nnnn the loans’ or ‘is anyone going to yell at me’#and in the loans case that was a fan translation so like that was done out of love for the series at least #and the yelling one was a simulcast sub or whatever translators dont get paid dick and they work on crunchtime for anime subs #but what the hell is that? why the hell is mob’s entire inner conflict just not there??? what is that?!

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comicaurora · 2 years

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Did you watch the owl house season finale? What did you think of it?

I liked it, but I think it suffered somewhat from crunchtime and couldn't give all the characters involved as much in-depth focus as they could've used since so much time had to be spent resolving the hefty and complex plotlines in play - scenes like King fading in and out of consciousness that turned a pretty significant chunk of plot advancement and character reshuffling into a montage were clever workarounds that seemed to be compensating for the fact that this finale could've used another season's worth of buildup and at least another episode to make it a two-parter. I've felt this way about a lot of this season - a lot of the scenes screamed "this moment has been planned since the beginning but we're lacking time to build its emotional impact super hard", like the fight between Eda and Luz, the stuff about Gus's unique brand of illusion magic, Hunter's entire "oops we're the bad guys" arc, even Eda reaching an understanding with the owl beast. They're good moments and they work well, but if they'd had a little more runway they could've hit harder. That said, the way the episode ends makes me confident that the s3 specials will put a lot more focus on the character dynamics.

#asks #not aurora #the owl house

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redbeansoups · 3 years

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Curiosity

Kaminari Denki x Reader

Includes: fluff, angst, hurt w/o comfort, implied cheating, mentions of alcohol

In which you and Kaminari Denki grow too comfortable in your routines, and weary eyes begin to wander.

Or, Kaminari Denki falls out of love.

***

“I want to marry you.”

His voice is firm, clear, confident. “One day, when we’re older.” Your hands are in his, clasped between the grip of his fingers, enveloped in a warm, lasting pressure. “We’ll get a house together, and a dog, and then we’ll get married.” He pulls you closer–and he’s warm, infectiously so, smiling down at you in a silent plea.

You feel his certainty in every possible way.

So you smile.

“Of course, Denki,” you whisper, heart fluttering.

He chuckles, kissing your forehead. You feel the vibrations of his chest against your own, strong and deep and grounding. “Then it’s a promise,” he says.

You want to hold him to his words. But the memory, prevalent as it is, always seems to present itself in faded reddish-browns, like a story scrawled in sepia-tinted fonts. The longer you dwell on it, replay it in your head, the faster it disintegrates and turns to dust.

Before you know it, it slips away between your fingertips. His promise trickles down and out of your reach, until, finally, you can no longer call it your own.

***

You’d always known him to be yours. Everyone had; the inseparable highschool duo, ever-paired together. Your friends never invited one of you without dragging along the other. He’d met you as a first-year, and had immediately pestered the homeroom teacher to let him sit by your side. The poor woman had had no choice but to comply, relenting only after months of the boy’s pleads.

He’d loved you, right from the start. Kaminari Denki showered you in affection, in handwritten notes and personalized gifts. Wide-eyed and charismatic, he’d done everything just right.

It was the half-hidden glances he shot you when he thought no-one was looking, the grin he reserved just for you, the way he’d pull you close to him every day without fail; it was the way he lit up at the sight of you and radiated with excitement at your very mention. Kaminari was earnest, and infectiously so.

How could you resist?

Dating Kaminari turned out to be an adventure. He’d drag you left and right on his antics—dared you to push your own limits as he did his. He’d take you on midnight drives, morning treks, call you over at the crack of dawn for nothing more than a hug.

You were the careful, calculating counterpart to his thrill-seeking habits, to impulse and grandeur.

He loved excitement, experiences, exploration.

You loved him.

A part of you knew, though, that you’d never quite be able to keep up.

***

“What will you do after highschool?”

It was a question you’d begun to hear increasingly frequently. An emotionally-charged inconvenience, the words tasted like uncertainty and distress, the budding woes of a soon-to-end highschool career.

“Go to university,” was always your answer, ever-practical. Every time without fail, you’d grimace at the words.

His own response, though, was easier. Lighter.

“Beats me,” he’d chuckle, eyes crinkling as his lips turned upward in a smile. He’d sling an arm over your shoulder, pulling you close to his chest. “We’ll figure it out together, won’t we?” he’d say, grinning smugly down at you.

Heart beating, you’d roll your eyes and push him away. “Yeah, yeah.”

Together.

Fearfully, you clung to the word.

***

The two of you throw your caps together at graduation. The navy-blue headwear drifts in the gentle spring air before landing gently at your feet, rustling the grass beneath you. Around you, people are crying. You’re tearing up yourself, but Kaminari is quite the opposite, a bundle of pure joy and glee.

“We did it,” he whispers.

You nod.

You cling to his side throughout the festivities, greeting all your friends with your hand interlaced with his own. Kirishima and Sero, eager as ever, have already begun begging to join Kaminari as his groomsmen.

Kaminari takes it all in stride, cackling all the while. “Bakugou’s the ring boy, then.”

“Like hell I am!” he snarls. In an instant, the two boys have begun an impromptu wrestling match.

You laugh; beside you, Ashido and Jirou do the same.

The antics are familiar, easy. They feel like any other day–yet a sense of finality hangs over you all. The air weighs heavy with the bittersweet realization.

“This is really it, huh?” Ashido mutters, sniffling.

Kirishima sighs. “Yeah.” His eyes are round, shining. “God, can you imagine? We’re gonna be adults.”

“We’ll have jobs,” Sero says, brows furrowed. “We’ll live on our own and pay taxes or whatever.”

Ashido sticks her tongue out. “Yuck.” Another chorus of laughter rings out, and most of the group continues on with the conversation.

Jirou, though, remains quiet. Lips pursed, she turns to you, gaze demanding attention.

“You’ll be moving in together, won’t you?” she asks.

You nod.

“Big commitment,” she remarks. “You sure he’s ready for it?”

You know Jirou, trust her, immensely. But she’s always been Kaminari’s friend–a constant in his life, but never quite your own. They’d been friends long before you’d met him, and they’d stayed that way through the years.

You expect that will never change.

You chuckle. “Well, he’s the one pushing for it. You know him–can’t exactly change his mind when it’s made up.”

“Guess not.” She smiles up at you, lips turned sweetly up at the corners. But there’s something more in her eyes; something distant, wistful. In an instant, though, it’s gone–replaced instead by a look you assume is sincerity. “I’m happy for you two,” she tells you.

The smile widens.

Somewhat uneasy, you smile back.

***

Your shared apartment is cluttered from the very start, an explosion of personal trinkets and accumulated belongings. You opt for separate rooms, a decision you’d made with work and study in mind. You liked peace and quiet, and two rooms seemed a better choice–

Though, as both of you quickly learned, that didn’t stop you from sleeping in his arms every night.

Your studies proceed as expected; smooth and easy, you breeze by your courses without any trouble. Kaminari finds himself part-time work nearby, a little cafe a block or two away. Things are comfortable–you fall into a routine, stable and calm.

Calm, though, has never quite fit him.

Kaminari has always sought the thrill.

***

Things grow busier over time. Schoolwork has you keeling over, bending backward at every moment, rushing to get your work done. The two of you, slowly but surely, grow apart; your routine no longer involves nightly cuddles, but weekly ones; your interactions gradually shrink down into practically nothing.

He tries, of course; he’ll pop his head into your room, ask you to come out, to go for a bike ride, to hang out with him and watch a movie–but crunchtime is brutal, and things never quite work out as you’d like.

You wish things could be easier.

But life, as you learn, slows down for no-one.

***

After a long day, you want nothing more than to see your boyfriend. You want his arms, his embrace, his words–attention, plain and simple.

But Kaminari, as of late, has seemed unkeen to deliver.

You think to go and see him, but there’s a sign up on his door. Busy, it reads, letters written in a bold red.

You disregard them, and walk on in.

“I’m going to bed,” you tell him.

He hardly looks at you as you enter, hardly acknowledges your movements; his focus lies elsewhere, drowned in the blue light of the monitor. There’s a smile there, creeping on his lips, a child-like wonder sparkling in his eyes as his avatar jumps and swerves before him, each movement meticulously trained, controller clutched firmly in hand.

You’ve become familiar with the sight.

“Hell yeah,” he cries suddenly, fist clenched with excitement. “You saw that, didn’t you, Kyo?”

You sigh.

“Denki,” you call again, louder this time. The sound reverbs in your chest, pouring out of your throat; pained, like a wallow.

He continues. You stand there, back against the doorway, arms across your chest.

Finally, he stops. The pause menu appears on-screen, and he swivels around, chair spinning delicately on its wheels–

But he’s frowning, eyebrows furrowed as he tugs his headphones down. They hang over his neck and radiate a faint glow on each side. “Yeah?”

“I was saying,” you mumble, “I’m going to–”

“I heard you the first time,” he says blankly.

“It’s late, Denki. Don’t you want to sleep?”

“Not now.” Another dull reply.

You sigh, run a hand through your hair. “I miss you,” you admit.

“Me too–but not now, okay?” His lips turn upward–but the smile he gives you is forced. “I’m not sleepy. Maybe tomorrow.” Then, without another word, he swivels back around, slides his headphones into place, and resumes the game.

You shut the door and tuck yourself into an empty bed, trying to ignore his cheers, his voice–

And the voice, inevitably, at the other end of the line.

***

He goes out more now; bar-hopping, he tells you, with highschool friends. Kirishima and Sero and Bakugou and Ashido, you presume. Privately, you wonder why he never offers to bring you along like he used to.

You’re busy, though. You suppose it doesn’t matter–

Until, one night, he doesn’t come home.

It takes ten frantic tries to reach anyone at all; Ashido and Sero both seem not to notice your calls at all. Even Bakugou, the reliable one of the bunch, doesn’t seem to have his phone on him.

It’s Kirishima that finally picks up, his greeting slurred and dopey. “Whazzup!”

You sigh. “Ei, is Denki with you?”

“Huh?” Almost instantly, his voice has cleared up. “Isn’t he with you?”

“He’s not.”

“He said he was going home–wait, I’ll text the group and ask…” There’s some fumbling on the other end of the line, followed by some rustling. “Shoot, we left the bar ages ago too–”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. “Just.. let me know if anyone gets back to you.”

“Yeah, for sure.” His voice is breathy, uncertain. “He usually gets home fine–I really don’t know, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Eijirou. Thank you.”

You hang up. Another hour passes–but not knowing what else to do, you shut your eyes and drift off to sleep.

***

You awake to a buzz from your phone. The screen illuminates the ceiling over you; the only remaining source of light.

Denki’s with me, the text reads.

It’s Jirou.

The text fills you with a weird sensation–a foreign taste, somewhere between relief and apprehension. A bitter flavor treads on your tongue.

Thank goodness, you type back. Is he okay?

Plastered, but he’s fine. Should I call him a cab? There’s a pause before her next text. I can take him tonight, if you want. My couch is free.

You ponder the thought. A part of you wants him home, wants him where you can see him. You aren’t even sure why he’d be at Jirou’s in the first place, and the thought fills you with unease. You want to drag him home, question him–

One glance at the clock, though, convinces you otherwise.

Could you watch over him tonight? I’ll come and get him tomorrow.

Another pause. Then, a reply.

Okay :)

You exhale and, tossing the covers over yourself, fall back into restless sleep.

***

You leave to retrieve him the next day. Jirou’s flat is a long journey over, and trek leaves you feeling unsettled. Still, your worry drags you out of bed and across town, coat wrapped firmly around you.

The walk, smack in the middle of winter, is far too cold for your liking.

Jirou meets you by the front door, and welcomes you in before you can even move to knock. “Long time no see,” she says, smiling, pulling you into a hug. She looks better than ever–her face is shining. There’s a happiness in her eyes that is unfamiliar, even to you.

“You look good,” you tell her.

“So do you,” she says–a bluff, certainly. In your disheveled, crestfallen state, you’re sure you look anything but. “He’s still asleep, he’s in the living room… Oh, here.” The girl reaches over to her dining table and hands you a steaming cup of tea. “You must be freezing.”

You smile. “Thanks, Kyouka.”

Just then, an all-too-familiar groan resonates through the room. Kaminari emerges from the couch, bedhead on prominent display, shoulders slouched and slunken. His shirt is crinkled in odd places.

The alcohol, clearly, has gotten to him.

You grimace.

***

You ride the train back home, not willing to brave the cold. Kaminari, still much too hungover to think, seems to appreciate the decision.

The train is crowded when it arrives. The day occurs to you then–Saturday, right at the peak of rush hour. You hustle your boyfriend into the cart and hurriedly rush him into the last remaining seat.

The train chugs to a start, and you clutch onto the handlebars above you. You watch as Kaminari leans his head back, a soft groan escaping his lips.

The sight annoys you.

You lean your torso forward to bring yourself closer to him. “Why were you at Kyouka’s in the first place?” you ask, voice just above a whisper.

Kaminari tilts his head to meet your gaze. His eyes are sunken, tired. “Just wanted to see her,” he mumbles. “Haven’t seen her in ages.”

You sigh.

“You worried me, Denki.”

“I was fine–”

“No,” you snap, cutting him off. “You didn’t even tell me you were going out,” you half-hiss, not wanting to draw attention to yourself. The anger, though, is building, tingling in your chest and fingertips, right on the edge of your tongue. “I sat at home waiting for you to come home, not knowing where you were or who the hell you were with. I had to ask Kirishima where you were–and, apparently, you told him you went home.” You can feel the heat welling in your eyes, threatening to spill. “Is that home to you, Denki? Her couch?”

He doesn’t meet your gaze. “Sorry.”

You exhale and lean back, resting your weight back on your heels. The rest of the ride back is silent.

***

The next few days are tight, tense. There’s an anger you can’t quite quell, a thirst for something you can’t quite quench. You’re torn between wanting an explanation, an apology, a remorseful embrace assuring you things will be different–

But he goes out the next weekend, and the next, and eventually on the weekdays you once spent in each others’ arms. He fails, over and over, to come home, and all you can do now is try your best to ignore the click of the front door at dawn.

Spite. That’s the feeling now. You’re spiteful, vengeful, you want more out of him and less at the same time–but you don’t protest. You keep your lips tightly sealed, and move on with your life. You spend meals apart, nights separate, days distant and alone.

You fall into another routine–a colder, lonelier one. Sometimes, behind his back, you catch glimpses of his belongings; the worn winter jackets, the strewn contents of an overnight bag, the notifications from the girl you have always known–

You wonder if, in her presence, he finds the same thrill he once did in you.

***

A/N: went through a really rough spot. my feelings culminated in this monstrosity–it’s been a while, but i hope the writing was okay :)

also, i love jirou. very, very, very much. i didn’t mean to throw her under the bus here. i like to think the reader’s insecurities got to them, and that the cheating didnt actually happen, but that’s always open to interpretation.

#bnha angst #bnha #my hero academia #kaminari denki #kaminari denki x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader angst #bnha reader insert #kaminari x reader #senior year has been kicking me in the ass #on a random note though i got accepted into a pretty good college

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