#Idk what Sashas deal was

[zoomclown]

My theory is that the reason Peter Lukas and Jonah Magnus have such a strained relationship is that Jonah has been stealing Peters Lonely-Aligned people to work for the institute. Like the wiki says that he deliberately picks people who he knows wouldn't be noticed if they went missing, so people who are already aligned with the lonely are prime candidates. I think it annoys the shit out of Peter that Jonah keeps taking people who are aligned with the lonely and making them work an office job together.

[syrasenturi]

scribbly amphibbies

bonus christmas garfapillar

[supercantaloupe]

okay survived my lesson. head still hurts but survived and even managed to play some kalliwoda despite The Agonies. although it helps that my teacher spent the first full hour of our lesson talking about grad school and jobs and bitching about how much it sucks to make it as a professional musician

[coelakanths]

u guys dont understand how badly i want to write the perfect little tma time travel fixit fic that lives in my head (keeps reading ones that do it wrong) but there are um. small issues (hasnt listened to the second half of s5 at all)

[cottonconnielvr]

❥MONDAY — c. springer

seven days a week.

PAIRINGS ✩ — plug!connie x fem!black!reader

WARNINGS ✩ — both are under influence, spitting, usage of 🍃, hair pulling if you squint, fuck idk i suck at warnings just smut at the end leave me alone i can’t deal rn + i’ll come back to edit

CONNIE has been unfocused more than usual. He has high energy usually and is bouncing from task to task but today, he can’t seem to grasp reality.

“Bro is you good?” Onyankopon says in between a laugh. He had been calling Connie’s name for about a minute. Connie looked up from the counter, multiple packs of weed sitting on the counter. Ony was looking back from his spot on the cream colored couch, his dark green tracksuit making him stand out.

“…Yeah” Connie nodded his head at him, continuing to place weed on a scale. “Yeah ight…i’ve been calling your name” Ony walks around to the kitchen island. “Well I didn’t hear you” Connie snaps back at him.

Ony smacks his teeth, bucking at Connie. “Yo sassy ass be around Sasha too much”. Connie shook his head. “You remember that one drop we did at Marco’s yesterday….” Connie suddenly brings up.

Ony looks up, thinking back to the previous day. The party was big, he gave a couple college girls a 3.5 then left by himself. “Yeah…why?” Ony asked in confusion, now wondering if something happened to make him bring it up. Ony and Connie were like brothers, they had committed to this game together. They protected each other all the time.

“Do you remember seeing Sasha with a girl wearing pink beside her?” Connie specifies, thinking back to his first time spotting you.

“Yeah you talking about Y/N?” Connie nods his head, Y/N

“What about her?”

“Nothing, jus asking” Connie lies to Ony. There was something. Connie’s mind had been suffocated by the thought of you. He remembers how you smiled at everyone Sasha introduced you to. He also remembered how you looked up into his eyes, yours red and low.

He told you his name and you told him his– atleast he thought you did. The music was playing so loud he didn’t hear you. But that was the last thing he was worried about, he was focused on the way you were staring him down.

Since he woke up this morning he’s been thinking about the mystery girl who sucked the soul out of him. The mystery girl who’s pussy was the wettest and warmest he’s ever been in.

He cried everytime he came that night, that’s never happened before. He hoped you didn’t notice, not wanting to creep you out. He also wondered if you enjoyed it as much as he did, and if you were thinking about this particular hookup all day as well.

He’s never felt anything like you before. You had to be a crystal bitch or somethingggg like pussy putting spells onna nigga🫃🫃

He just hopes he can meet you again, for a proper introduction.

❥

You sip on your Starbucks Frappuccino, two small Tiffany and Co. bags in your other hand. You were walking down a shopping outlet, deciding to spend your free time shopping. For the past couple of days, you’ve been straight partying. The most recent one was a bit memorable though. You were pretty cross faded and had some of the best sex in your life. You couldn’t exactly remember who it was with though. He was wearing light blue and white, you can accurately remember. Tattoos all over and he smelled amazing. But his name?…..can’t exactly remember that one. You just brushed it off though, maybe he’ll come around again but you weren’t worried.

Your phone started to vibrate in your back pocket. You grabbed it before reading the contact name, ‘Sash🫶🏾🤍’

You pressed the green icon, Sasha’s face appearing on the screen. “You gotta come to this kickback” She says before you can speak.

“Girlll, i’ve been out for days. I think I still have a hangover” You whined, looking up at the Coach sign before walking in. “Well it’s not like an actual kickback. Jean is just throwing a get together,” You sighed, looking down at Sasha as she was munching on some chips. “Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! It’s gonna be like fifty people max” She pleaded, bringing her face super close to the camera.

“Okay fineee,” You groan, sipping the last of your Frappuccino. “What’s the dress code?”

“Mmmm… sexy casual” Sasha nodded her head. “Kk, I’m gonna finish up shopping babe. Send me the addy” You said your goodbyes before hanging up.

❥

Connie laid back on Jean’s couch manspreading. He had a blunt in one hand, the other resting on the couch. He had no tasks for the rest of the day and decided on stopping by Jean’s, a mutual friend.

His eyes were already red and low, he could start to feel his munchies kick in. He smoked the last of the roach before putting it out. There’s a good amount of people here. Maybe about 30 or 40.

Some people smoking hookah in the corner, some outside just chatting. The vibe was calmer than what the house parties he usually attends are.

“Ay Con!” Connie looks back from his spot on the couch. “Come take a shot!” Eren called him over,holding up a shot glass. Connie wasn’t much of a drinker but did every once in a while. It simply wasn’t for him. Standing up and walking over to the island, he hears a familiar voice speaking from the door.

“Wowwww shots without us?!” Sasha walks over from the door, you trailing behind her. Connie can feel his heartbeat pick up. It’s you. Your now standing infront of him, looking 10x more stunning.

“Y’all remember Y/N” Sasha gestured to you while snatching the bottle from Eren.

“Hey” You flashed a smile that made Connie jr harden just a bit. Your eyes wandered around the room. Not too many people, but enough for you to have to raise your voice a little if you’re trying to have a conversation.

Your eyes stopped on a pair that were only staring right back at you. You could feel your breath hitch. Holy shit no way

❥

The night has been filled with pure tension. Sexual tension at that. You’ve come to find out that ,mystery boy with a huge dick, name is actually Connie. The entire night he’s had his eyes on you, both of you keeping eye contact. A part of you kept wanting to look back from your spot on the couch. You’d only immediately find his eyes. It was as if you were silently conversing. You both wanted more of eachother, but how do you approach your “one” night stand asking for just another round.

“Imma go get a refill” You say to Jean, passing him the hookah. He nodded before continuing to converse with Sasha.

You walked into the kitchen, holding your red cup in one hand. Much to your surprise, Connie was the only one in the kitchen. He was sitting on the counter, his head down and all his attention focused on the blunt he was currently rolling.

You walk over to where all the bottles were, Connie’s head immediately lifting as he gets a whiff of sweet perfume. You smile to yourself when you feel his stare on you. You pour a little hennessy in your cup before turning around.

Connie’s looking at you with his eyes low and redder than before. You keep eye contact with him as you sip from your cup. Your gloss staining your cup.

Connie watches you closely, focusing on every single detail about you. He’s wondering what makes you so different from any other girl he’s been with.

“Why aren’t you with everyone else?” You decide to speak first, breaking the ice. Connie can feel his dick twitch at the sound of your voice, a slight rasp from the burning of the alcohol.

Your thighs clench together as you watch Connie lick his lips. “Shit…..guess I was waiting for you to come to me.” His voice coming out low and deep.

The tension in the kitchen is so high right now, even Ony who’s sitting on the couch can feel it.

A lazy smile breaks out on your face, Connie’s too as he licks the blunt. His eyes never look away from yours, dragging his tongue across the wood. You can even see his tongue piercing that was deep in your pus-

“Mhmm, well i’m here now so…” You trail off, walking a bit closer to him. You can smell his cologne from where you stand. Your intoxication was making this no better for you, as well as the PartyNextDoor that’s playing in the background.

You watch as Connie lights his blunt. He brings it to his lips before puffing twice, just to make sure it’s lit. He sucks in a breath before blowing the smoke out. He reaches his hands out, holding out the blunt to you.

You hesitate before moving closer, taking it from him. You reach for a napkin to wipe your lipgloss off but Connie only grabs your wrist. “You don’t have too, i’m okay with it”

“Oh…okay” You bring the blunt up to your lips, the smoke immediately making you cough. “God damn, strong ass…” You can’t finish your sentence through a fit of coughs. Connie lightly laughs as he reaches to grab an unopened water bottle on the counter.

You could already feel like you were baked off of just one hit, your eyes looking a little sleepy. “I’m already high what the fuck…” You blinked up at Connie.

“I guess i’m just used to it” He hits it again. “You’re literally smoking the devils lettuce. That shit came straight from hell” You take a gulp of water.

Connie could tell you were a lot less tense. For some reason you trusted him like a lot… even though you’ve never had a full conversation with him.

“I enjoyed last night a lot” You lean against the counter, head tilting. You know that you’re being bold all of a sudden but fuck, this man was too fine.

Behind his faux chill demeanor, Connie was freaking out. He wanted to feel you again. He never wanted you to stop talking and he could look at you for hours.

“Yeah, me too” He’s fighting his anxiety, trying not to seem to excited to be talking to you. He was praying, even crossing his toes that he would be able to get another look at your naked body.

You bit on your lower lip, contemplating on whether or not you should keep making the moves.

“I’m gonna…go to the bathroom” You trail off, not giving Connie another word before walking off with your cup.

Connie almost jumps off the counter, fighting the urge to throw his rolling tray to the side and follow you right to the bathroom. He wanted you to keep talking to him. Connie watched you walk up the stairs, he couldn’t miss this opportunity.

❥

“Fuck, talk to me mama” Connie breathes into your ear, your hair roughly tangled around his fist. You can feel him in your stomach, punching your cervix over and over.

“Ah-mmph..I can’t” Your hands hold onto the sink, grasping it harder than you can grasp reality.

Connie feels a bit bad that he wishes he didn’t have on a condom right now, wanting to feel you raw.

“Yes you can, you are now —fuck— aren’t ya?” Connie taunts you, his hand reaching down to rub your clit. “I don’t want p-people to hear” Your head rests on Connie’s shoulder.

“Why not? Don’t want anyone to know how much of a slut you are?” Your eyebrows furrow, you were pretty sure you saw tears falling down Connie’s eyes the first time you hooked up. You clenched around him purposely, earning a whine from him.

“Oh i’m a slut?” You lifted your head back up to look at him in the mirror. You used Connie’s vulnerable state to push him off of you, giving him no time to be confused before you drop to your knees.

“What the– fuck” Connie groans out. You watch as this grown man literally slaps his hand over his mouth. Your tongue runs up his cock, licking up all your wetness. You rise up, peeling Connie’s hand off of his mouth. He watched you intently. You squished his cheeks together before spitting your wetness in his mouth.

A part of you feels really really slutty. No man has really made you feel like this. Yeah sure you wanted him but you wanted him to chase after you, not the other way around.

You watch Connie swallow with no hesitation. “You’re cool and all Connie, but I don’t even know you. It’ll take a little more than a blunt.” You watch Connie’s mouth open agape.

He was very very confused. He thought you wanted him just as bad as he wanted you. You let him eat you out before letting him put his dick inside you. Then you suddenly stop him? What the fuck-

“Just letting you know, i’m a bit expensive” You fix your clothes and hair in the mirror.

“Bye Connie” You sweetly say, before exiting the bathroom, leaving Connie with a rock hard erection.

“Fuck i’m too high for this” Connie face palms himself. No way he just let a girl edge him.

@getoscrybaby @ginger4sugar @cybercandy1 @rintcrous @conniesministallion @junevenile @yourrfavzxri @reinerszn @lowkeysumgyall @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @royalty-cashinout @lovelytayy @starpdfs @syarblu @urmotherswhor3 @simp4tenko @emery-333 @hopefuloperaangelnerd @pinkfqiry @donutsrsweetbagels @katymae12344@urivl @mdibby @dezibou @dramaticOflwer @animeloverzx @y3rn4y0n yOn @honeyxluv @jupittterrrrr @iikatsukii @glossygirrll @severenswife @h3v3n1y + many more beautiful people <3

Please message me to be removed or added to my taglist🫶🏾

[lansangprincess]

What I Want to See in HBH S3!⋆·˚ ༘ *

note that this is a list not to be mistaken as things i expect to see in s3

the introduction of a new trans character !

the introduction of a new character who will have a cutesy and fun lovey storyline for quinni <33

harthony uno reverse card—harper starts to realize she has feelings for ant but is scared to confess bc she's still dealing w her trauma and doesnt want to lose him

ant main storyline !! we find out a lot more about his home life (this is for the bitches w religious trauma, it's me im bitches) and find out what his ethnic background is bc i realized that ive been assuming he's wasian this whole time but it's never actually been said

i miss a parent-child storyline actually (like darren and their dad had in s1). i think quinni would be great for this

chook in jail jfc

sasha home life—could be redemption, could be not. im chill either way, i kinda enjoy getting annoyed at her (just no more ableism pls). if she does get redemption tho could she pls tap into more of her succulent chinese meal, dinussy side like she is so hilarious when she's not being a performative activist lmao

less spider screentime im sorry like hurrayy he's been redeemed but i want to highlight the other characters now

missy&darren storyline. i dont even know what kind of storyline but i just feel like theyd be so entertaining together constantly roasting people

verbally canonizing that ant and harper are queer/pan (established) and spider's demi (new revelation)

ca$h/darren & missy/spider double date could be fun and random. maybe they bump into each other at a carnival or smthn and compete against each other at ring toss idk

another classic hbh mystery to be solved BUT THIS TIME, amerie isn't a main character of it

✧˚ ·the entire main group doing karaoke✧˚ ·

A few more thoughts...

i miss malakai already but i think it would be too narratively convenient for him to come back at the start of the season so i dont want to have any expectations for his (and the amerie/malakai) storyline. imma let the writers take me wherever they want me to go

what i dont want to see is a new love interest for my amerie like i feel bad for the new plot device dressed as a white blond boy that will be tossed away once the amerkai endgame is done cooking

no more darren&quinni angst no more darren&quinni angst no more darren&quinni angst no more darren&quinni angst 😭

what i want to hear in a new season of hbh is some chappell roan like imagine HOT TO GO! playing in hbh it would be amazing

[moranasgrave]

plug!connie gets jealous at a party and teaches you a lesson.

ok this is just a little plug connie drabble because i’ve been wanting to write about him for a while. i literally left my other notes at home with all my other characters sooo after this i’ll release a snippet of a chapter in my Eren story that will be “premiering” august 18th. kinda late i know but it’ll be worth it i want to have 10+ chapters written so i can release 2-3 at a time because i know how it feels to wait for something your reading especially on wattpad LMAO.

CONTENT! WARNING! 18+ MINORS DNI! NSFW CONTENT!

Fem black reader ofc, Choking,raw sex, angry sex, weed, alcohol, mild violence,fluff, bad language,and idk this won’t be proofread lmao.

Connie knew he fucked up. Tonight was Eren big summer bash party at his parents mansion. It was always the craziest party of the year, and the best spot for dealers to find knew customers for the year.

You how ever were livid with connie. You seen a girl texting his instagram on his phone saying “yea tmr at 3 is coo” while you guys were cuddling on the couch. You didn’t think he would cheat on you but something about it made you feel weird. Girls always hit him up begging to match with him. It made you feel, territorial.

Connie was gorgeous, those piercing hazel eyes and that flashy smile. Especially when he had his diamond bottom grillz in, fresh hair cut and that pretty bone structure. He also had that charm, he knew just the right thing to say to make you melt in his arms.

Right now though, you didn’t care how he looked. You were pissed off because he acts so nonchalant about girls messaging him like it’s no big deal. What if he actually takes the offer one day.

Whatever you didn’t care as you angrily got dress into your hot pink tube top dress. Cutely ruffled at the bottom looking like a miniskirt attached to a dress. Your black stocking that you were angrily taking a razor to. A black my chemical romance zip up hoodie left open. Finally those hot pink leg warmers with your cute little black mary jane flats.

Your hair in two low pig tail puffs with a side part, your favorite hair style. The obnoxiously huge black juciy couture bag filled with singles and a variety of perfume and makeup.

Connie wearing black cargo shorts with the studded black and silver belt you got him for his birthday. “stop trying to turn me emo”, he said laughing at the gift. “i’m notttt but you would look sooo hot if you were though”, you say with a suggestive smile.

He pairs those with a plain black zip up and some black converse. Silver rings bearing his veiny calloused fingers, and that NY cap tilted to the side like he always does. It made you even more mad that he chose to look sexy right now.

You guys get in the uber there because yall know yall will just end up sleeping over at erens like every year. The whole car ride you feel connie’s eyes burning the back of your head, because you turned away from him. He puts a hand on your thigh and lets out a big sigh. He knows tonight is going to be ridiculous.

As soon as you guys arrive at the huge front doors connie spins you around holding you by your waist. “Can you drop the fucking attitude already, i’m not tryna have you pissed at me all night over dumb shit.” You look at him with an amused expression on your face. “kiss my ass connie, you do you i’ll do me”, you say coldly. Before he can even respond your already strutting inside the doors.

‘This girl is about to get handled in a second’ connie thinks to himself.

You find sasha and basically knock her over as you run and jump into her arms. She already has shots lined up for you so you start going ham. Throwing back shots like it was water. Connie meets up with eren and jean to find out whose buying so he can make his deals.

A couple hours into the party you’re already pretty drunk. You decided to go and dance your heart out on the huge dance floor in the living room. The entire night you’ve been mean mugging connie when he would make eye contact with you. To make him mad you were even twerking all over sasha and mikasa, sasha catching all of it smoothly of course and mikasa looking nervously at connie trying not to make as much contact.

As you danced all over the floor alone sipping on a margarita sasha made you, a guy approach’s you.

He starts dancing closely around you until he suddenly grabs your waist. You push his hands off quickly slurring a weak ‘i have a boyfriend’ as you try and ignore him and continue to dance.

Connie who was on the couch smoking a blunt notices this and gets up from his seat. “Fuck off before i kick your ass i’m in a bad mood”, he says glaring at the guy.

You’ve seen connie get mad before but never anything too extreme. He usually knew how to keep a level head in situations like this. But tonight, you acted a fool and he wasn’t gonna let that slide.

The guy steps in connie’s face and says “or what exactly? i’m just tryna have a little fun man.”

You stop dancing and finally notice the two men are getting a little too close for comfort. this can’t be good. You go to tell connie that your okay but then you see connie’s arm raise and punch the shit out of that guy. He gets on top of the guy and just starts wailing on him. Eren and jean quickly run over to grab him off.

Connie’s face is flushed red, his eyes are low and he’s sweating. He pushed as jean and eren off and looks at you with his glossed over eyes bearing into your soul.

You run over to him shoes in hand as you took them off like two hours ago. “Connie what the fuck dude you didn’t have to beat him that bad and you know it”, you say aggravated because now everyone’s attention is on you two. “Shut the fuck up and come on we’re fucking going to bed Y/n”, he grabs your hand forcefully towards the door.

You pull back defiantly, “You go, IM not ready to sleep yet THANKS”. You start to head back to the dance floor when you feel his big hand wrap around your throat from behind. He leans down to your ear tightening his grip some. “We’re going upstairs and fixing that fucking attitude of yours before i snap”, he grits through his teeth.

You nod your head reluctantly, secretly getting excited about it. You been waiting for him to finally take you upstairs, you just refused to ask him. Everyone watches as you guides you upstairs still holding the back of your neck. “Take a picture or something you fucking FREAKS”, connie yells behind his shoulder.

The second you step into the room connie shut the door and locks it. He walks over to you picking you up and tossing you on the bed. You let out a small yelp and before you can protest he flips you over on the edge of the bed.

He slides your panties clean off ripping up your dress to show your exposed bottom half. He leans over top of you getting close to your ear again. “You’re gonna learn to listen to me y/n, you know i only want your crazy ass”, he rasps under his breath. You can feel his bulge twitching against your ass.

He leans back and slides his pants down to his ankles along with his boxers. He guides his dick towards your entrance, moaning softly as he rubs against your clit. You’re already soaking wet, the sounds of him mushing against you are loud. He slides in causing both of you to let out a moan. He starts pumping in and out of you slowly, the drugs in your system heightening your sensitivity.

He picks up his pace and now the room is filled with loud slapping and moaning as he reaches deeper and deeper inside you. He grabs your hair forcing you to stand up against him. He takes his phone from the side of the bed and starts recording you guys from the front. Your makeup is already running, eyes squeezed shut trying to focus on your orgasm. He slides out and flips you again into missionary position.

He flips the camera backwards zooming in on your face. Hair sticking to your sweaty forehead, mascara running down your eyes and your plump glossy lips parted from all the panting your doing. “god you’re so fucking sexy”, he says in between moans. He ends the recording and starts to go even faster making you arch your back off the bed in pleasure.

You feel the knot unfold quickly in your stomach and your filled with complete bliss as you both cum together. He flops on top of you with all his weight, out of breath and in a daze. He lifts his head up and gives you sweet kisses from your neck to your cheek then to your lips. The kiss being sloppy and filled with passion as if he’d been waiting all day to do this.

He rolls on the side of you and grabs his phone. He guides you to lay on top of him nuzzled in between his neck and shoulder. He goes to the video and posts it to his story. His main story. With your face covered with the heart eyes emoji of course. He writes ‘don’t bother hittin my dm this is my only girl 😏’.

He puts his phone back down and pulls you closer to his chest. “I…I love you y/n and i’ll never cheat on you i promise baby, don’t ever think otherwise again”, he whispers into your ear. Your still kind of out of it but you manage to mutter “I love you too connie”, before your eyes flutter shut.

He turns the light off with his phone and wraps the blanket around the two of you.

‘I love her but she is a trip’ he thinks to himself before he drifts to sleep, ignoring all the dms he’s getting on instagram.

[the-nefarious-vampire]

inch resting that lena said there were both benevolent and malevolent powers now and didnt allude to any Entities being in control (she said that the oiar was "managing" the bad guys which suggests there's either no higher power that she she's aware of, or that the higher powers control the oiar somehow). i mean obviously thats not the full story, and her version of events is probably pretty faulty knowing magnus, but it does sorta seem like these guys are running around unchecked. so maybe instead of an overarching forces deal like we had in tma, the cases are more separate.

anyway i think it's not quite to do with devotion or obsession or love and more to do with belief, or like, how many people you've made an impression on. how strong of an Idea you are. something something scp cognito hazards. inksoul and mr bonzo and violince guy had their fans (and god knows where that violin had been before he got his hands on it). the most recent dude had complete faith in the betting (?) app and im sure many other people did too. needles obviously got strength from people being afraid of him. the volunteers had their "great cause". all this i think has Implications for sam's new obsession with the magnus institute too but thats not what im talking about rn

it's also possible that this malevolent/benevolent split is totally arbitrary human categorization. we'll probably have to meet some of the Good Guys before we really start getting to know whats going on, but thats probably a ways off yet cause of the nature of the oiar, as revealed by lena last episode. they just wont be showing up in reports, thats not what the system's for. some of them kinda toe the line, like the dice, but i dont think we've met any Good Guys yet. maybe they'll show up and fix things in one of the reports or maybe they'll bust down the door to the oiar or someone will run into one in the outside world like how sasha met the distortion or maybe colin will fuck with the system so much it starts reading reports of chill people who cause flowers to bloom around them or who always have a pen if you need one or whatever. maybe the heavily tattooed person from episode 11 will turn out to be a good guy idk ive not checked out the arg i could have embarrassed myself so bad so many times this post. either way if im right that means that santa's probably real in this universe. also every religion simultaneously

[levmada]

idk how else to phrase this so i'm just gonna ask it as it is: how do you think reader could help to rebuild/boost canon levi's self image and self worth in a way which makes him not solely reduce his self worth to how strong he is/how good of a fighter he is? i don't mean in a sexual way. but maybe more so through acts then words of affirmation? i just think poor guy shouldn't be so hard on himself :( like post-war levi's self worth must be so low now that he's (mostly) physically debilitated

//internalized ableism, self-hatred

This is really sad... but consider Levi has thought of himself more or less as a weapon or tool to be used the same way for the vast majority of his life. He has been abandoned so many times.

And then, basically his cause for living is achieved. His job is done. He can live for himself now... but after a whole life of reducing himself and self-neglect, there are some things he can never accept or believe. Even consciously, using logic, it's one of the hardest things in the world to change your entire belief system, in this case that Levi has worth as a person and not just as a tool used to fight. To gain self-worth. The guilt.

No matter what, the last thing he wants is to be a burden or need someone take care of him. He was so strong and independent for so long :( which is why it’d probably offend him to have you do things for him that in the past he could do himself. Like just. Pour tea. Turn the pages of a book. Deal with his bad knee when he has to navigate stairs or the shower. And you know he’s going to refuse the wheelchair every chance he gets.

And yet he doesn’t accept a glass eye, any treatment for tinnitus or headaches from the explosion, or prosthetic fingers. Part of it is his stubborn pride, but he doesn’t feel like wearing aesthetics to mask what’s already broken.

He feels broken. Like he’s done his duty and all that’s left is his scars, his disabilities, and an unspeakable amount of grief. Mirrors remind him. The cleft in his lip when he eats, drinks, kisses you, remind him. The bad dreams. The one thing he doesn't dread about it all is the fact that he carries on the memories of his comrades. He takes their hearts with him wherever he goes, so to speak.

Needless to say, it’s really fuxking difficult for him :( And healing isn’t linear. I think he’d prefer it if you didn’t acknowledge when he needs help with something, and you just do it. He hates himself for needing help, so it takes time, with a gentle smile on your face reassuring him that it has to be no trouble to you. Staring at him fondly, and kissing his scars so he can accept your love easier with the knowledge that he’s not hideous like he thinks of himself.

You don’t ask him to talk about it. Sometimes, you converse about the good memories. Levi gets nostalgic for the past, and it helps if you were beside him for all that time. You tell him it keeps their memory alive, but he struggles to find the words. So he starts writing.

Memories and moments he refuses to forget. Random nothing-details that he finds most important; like the way Hange would wear their goggles shoved up on their forehead and their crooked glasses slipped halfway down their nose; the times he would drop a bib on Sasha’s head for obvious reasons; the time he picked up a coin in the street, and that day being when Levi learned Erwin kept a coin collection of all things.

You get Jean to mail some drawings of people whose faces were important to Levi, and he pastes those drawings in. Just everything.

It’s cathartic and becomes a comfort to him, but sometimes a dreadful thing when he’s having a bad day and feels the need to write anyway, because it’s become routine. He’s going to become emotional and sometimes overwhelmed, and stare into space without really thinking or feeling anything. It’s always a good thing never to leave Levi alone unless he explicitly asks for it.

He would probably refuse physical therapy, let alone seeing a regular therapist or psychiatrist. He doesn’t want to deal with the effects of medications or become reliant on them… and he’s not about to open up to someone paid to get him to do just that. He’s stubborn on that. If you really went about suggesting it, maybe you’d work together on the physical therapy thing. He’d be in less pain, and it’d feel like he’s achieving something.

It takes time, and being gentle. Soft compliments which he learns to accept, even if some are impossible for him to believe. Stroking the flesh where his fingers used to be when the phantom sensations of tingling or pain appear.

Most importantly, giving him opportunities to do things for you so that he feels capable, and less of a burden (even though in your eyes he could never be).

It’d be nice to take innocent baths together where you can relax, and be exposed about his body which can’t move like it used to, where softness and scar tissue has replaced the old muscle and skin. The indentions from the ODM slowly fading away. It makes him uncomfortable, and then sick with love when you show affection to the ugliest parts of him. It feels better when he can do it for you.

For an example.

Some things Levi can never open up about again, even to himself. If you made yourself vulnerable a little more often, it’d be easier for him to follow suit. Quietly, in private, within the clutches of comfortable silence. For him to work through things that happened… and maybe even accept that now that it’s all over, it’s okay to have regrets. The past can’t be changed, but it doesn’t always have to hurt.

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[monkeychief1904]

Did some doodles in class of that tma Au I posted about. I’m also gonna throw my doodles I already posted as well just cause.

Idk what to call it yet, I’ll tag it Jmart customer service for now I think? Also sorry if you can’t read my handwriting!!!!

I think the text by Tim and Sasha is hardest to read but it says they try to have fun on the job together and they mess with the customers sometimes.

I love long haired Jon but in this Au he and Martin are married so he’s much more stable and actually taking care of himself so I wanted to reflect that in the design. I want him to seem more like s5 Jon in some ways but he looks more like s1 Jon.

I imagine that Jon and Martin called the police to get one of the avatars out of the store, and Daisy and Basira pulled up, Daisy harassing other customers (avatars who were being chill, like Antonio yk?) cause she felt like they would cause problems. This ended up happening multiple times, they always get Daisy and Basira, so now they have to decide if they just deal with whatever situation or deal with Daisy and Basira (mostly Daisy) trying to kick everyone out of the store. Daisy def still aligned with the hunt in this situation.

Also Annabelle just putting spiders all over sometimes to freak out Jon. Love her.

[anderants]

I’ve not seen anyone talk about this but it’s bothering me to no end - what happened to Quinni and Sasha? Like I didn’t like them as a couple in s1 and I know they stopped talking after the book signing, but I feel like they were forgotten about in s2? Like there was no explicit breakup, no follow up conversation or confrontation

They treat each other like strangers and I might be missing something but idk, I wish we’d seen more of them, even if it was a big fall out.

I wanted someone to confront Sasha on her ableism, or something, see the way she deals with being told she’s in the wrong but we never see that

[ambi-kiko]

MAG 5 Thrown Away

this one really stuck with me the first time. at least i thought it did. very clearly remembered the teeth and alan. but i had forgotten about the heart? so i guess what scares you sticks with you.

Spoilers below! s...3? probably (im sorry idk when what happens)

this reminds me of the anatomy students actually, but i dont think its the same Dread Power. i think this is the Flesh! maybe the slaughter bc of excess and stuff but idk

Spoilers done!! welcome back <3

"it almost felt like a ritual" i love when fear becomes routine and the psychology of that. might rant abt it soon actually

jon: hm all the information is confirmed... oh well idc im just going to dunk on Gertrude and martin

like fr dude? "in an uncharacteristic example of actually dealing with modern technology" calm down dude she did smth good for you

"but at least it got martin out of the institute for an afternoon, which is always a welcome relief." WHAT DID THE BOY DO TO YOU?? WHATS UR PROBLEM??

and thats it for this episode! heres my offering of the post

shitty picture of my sasha design! she did some supplementary investigating in this one so its just an excuse to share my drawings of her haha

[supercantaloupe]

agshdjdkf as i was rewatching the video just now i was looking at the oboe guy and thinking of you (rip to it being a trumpet solo but I couldn't find a shot of a trumpet player </3)

the burden of being an oboist is knowing that anytime someone i know sees anything oboe related their like "wow just like sasha :)" except half the time it's a clarinet they mean and not an oboe so thanks for at least knowing what an oboe is

[nico-esoterica]

tw: mentions of sexual abuse and trauma

More on Diddy - He's currently in a 7H profection and will be entering an 8H one this year. News about everything w/ him kicked off around his birthday in '23. So this tells me that house ruler was obviously significant and the repercussions following flow into the 8th. That house, natally, also deals with where we feel shame. Having planets in the 8H exacerbates it. It can translate into shame over one's identity, emotions, sexuality, beliefs, etc. Exceptions of this will be if the ruler's dignified in some way by sect, triplicity, etc.

Since he's known for inflicting intense sexual abuse and trauma, imo, this is sometimes due to similar trauma experienced. Refusing to break a cycle, but that's speculative on my part. W/o that, in the chart of a sexual abuser (remember it's the PERSON--the chart provides the framework if it applies), it leads me to think there's 7th and 8th house issues. In Sasha Grey's chart, a former adult entertainment star, she had 8H planets and suffered abuse in that industry.

This isn't to say 8H planets INHERENTLY mean this. Plenty of people lead happy lives with them. But the relationship between the 7th and 8th house translates in a mundane sense to what we transactionally owe or are 'owed.' This is why there's many cases of people who inherit money being in 8H profection year when a family member passes (derivative 5th from the 4th--a child receiving benefits). And in other cases, those transactions translate emotionally into someone's boundaries being eroded through abuse and coercion. This is why w/ 8H synastry, there's this feeling of one or both parties involved feeling as if they have 'power over the other.' That dynamic can be healing and welcomed or oppressive.

When this translates physically, this is where sexual abuse can be on the table. Because an abuser who's familiar with power dynamics can use them to their advantage. The eclipses last year clue us in. This is why I'm reconsidering if he's an Aries or Taurus rising because it'd shift that Libra-Scorpio emphasis to his 6th and 7th or 7th and 8th. But I personally feel as if he has 8H planets because it'd better illustrate the image of him being this monster who drags beautiful women away into the depths to 'punish' them for being beautiful and out of his reach via abuse and unspeakable horrors. Both Diddy and Cassie have a Venus-Venus conjunction in Libra. And since the SN in Libra is playing a major role here, this tells me that that sign was impacted for her and trapped in his chart somewhere.

Under threat of blackmail and further violence (death included), there's a contract in place. In an Aries Rising chart for Diddy, this would place her in his 7th. Since it's on an angle, it'd paint the public image of being very visible to those around him and it'd fit because her Virgo Sun would be in his 6H of work and it's known that that's how their relationship appeared at first/on the surface. But in her progressed chart it'd move her to a Scorpio Venus and would fall in his 8th. Meaning it starting off as a work relationship turned romantic/sexual one and it being abusive or starting off that way when she thought it'd be something different. So Aries Rising def fits. Esp with a late (double dignified) Mars in Capricorn looking down on his empire in his 10H and having free reign to harm others irreparably as he sees fit. Elevated in the 10th, he'd be super protected unless the rulers of his 12th or 7th (jupiter and venus) are under threat in his houses relating to enemies. I def wanna elaborate on this more later.

And if we look at it from this angle, it means that the upcoming Saturn and Neptune transits moving into Aries can put him under fire. But idk about a 1H Neptune transit. I like the idea of Pluto transiting his 12th for a Pisces rising permanently knocking him out.

My thoughts on this will develop.

[buuuuggggggggggg]

Im almost at the end of s1 of tmag and i just. Jon. Jon are you okay you need a break my dude. Also whats Jane's deal her statement was the creepiest shit- for some reason i feel a lil empathy towards her though? Idk something something loving the monstrous. So far i love martin and sasha so much. Like. Gawd. But also Jonathan my poor dude, get some sleep. I love this podcast so much i love all the lil details i can't wait to hear the rest. Sorry if i am clouding anyone's dash, i am deeply bored and have much to say (also whats tims deal. Mans is so unconcerned like my guy pls worry a bit)

[bitchinbarzal]

lu, it’s me. Hi

anyways, what about a Sasha and Ivy argument? Like it’s so bad that Ivy goes home to her parents because she cant even be in the same house as Sasha (like takes place after they bought their home) and Sasha goes and talks to Trevor (phone or in person. Idk trevor moved back to NY in this AU).

The screaming match had been going on for hours, Ivy was tired and her voice was raw.

“Sash… I can’t do this any longer” she groaned, walking past him to their bedroom. Ivy began packing a bag and when she re-entered the living room Sasha was sitting on the couch, scrolling on his phone.

He looks up and his face drops when he sees the bag “Where-where are you going?”

Ivy sighs “I’m going back to my parents… I can’t do this any longer the fighting constantly” tears drip down her face “I need space”

After Ivy walked out Sasha called his dad to ask his advice.

“Kid let me tell you, that girl could’ve declined you from the beginning. She was the real deal” Sasha groaned “dad you’re not helping”

Trevor laughed “What I’m saying is you’re a lucky guy. Don’t let being a big shot hockey player get to your head because it’s not all it’s cracked up to be”

“What do you mean?”

“Your mom was probably one of the only girls that wasn’t impressed by me being a hockey player and when she got pregnant with you and tris she told me I couldn’t be a dad, that I let my lifestyle get to my head… like you are and told me you guys would be better off away from that” Trevor’s tone was sad, thinking back to that time in his life.

Sasha was speechless on the other end of the phone

“Thanks dad… I think I got something I need to do”

“Yeah i think You do. Let me know how it goes kiddo”

Sasha headed over to Ivy’s parents, dreading knocking on their door.

When he did, Mat opened it.

“Zegras”

“Hey Mr B-“ “cut the shit, she’s in the kitchen… don’t fuck it up this time eh?”

“Yes sir” he slips in, not making eye contact with Mat as he does.

Sasha stands in the Barzal’s kitchen watching Ivy as she dances around while baking.

It was something Ivy always did as a de-stressor. After a hard work week Sasha would always have a ton of bakes to give to the front office as MSG.

“You got some flour on your nose” Sasha mumbled, startling Ivy.

She stared at him “What are you doing here Sash?”

“I had to come and apologize then bring you home because you belong at our home Ives, with me” Sasha pleaded with her. Ivy put down her mixing bowl and waltzed over to him.

“You’re a piece of work Zegras”

“But I’m worth it? I hope” he chanced, pulling her in closer their lips only millimetres apart.

“So worth it” ivy closed the gap and kissed him.