#Idk which flavor I am
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Looking through the Pruliet tag and realizing there are different flavors of Pruliet shippers
#I love almost all flavors#Except for the far too problematic and making me scared of the admin flavors#Which is thankfully rare-#As rare AS THE GODDAMN SHIP#I NEED MORE CONTENT#Idk which flavor I am#But definitely the poetic#They both make each other question everything#And they both wish things weren't so gd complicated in the world flavor#Everytime I write about Pruliet or just Lithuania#I write as if they were either a phylosophy book where they try to find different ways to understand the world and bring themselves closure#Or a 19th century Lithuanian novel#Anyways#Pruliet ❤️
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in honor of my sudden re-binging of TRC, i finally bring out an unposted quality archive from 2017
#it's a wonder i still have it#idk how it is in other countries but here a lot of old clamps have not been reprinted yet and are therefore rarer than gold#so when i get new copies it's been long enough that i can start over from the beginning lmao. same strife with xxxh0lic#which unlike trc i did not read as scans first and refuse to. it will take me 20 years to see the end of the story#anyway this week i meant to draw and i said the next manga i'd read would be something new but here i am#gina if you're out there. i'm blowing you a kiss. kur0fai flavored#tsubasa reservoir chronicle#fai d. fluorite#mokona#this is not worthy of my artblog#pyro draws
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Wait are writing a fic for your au cause im like down to clown with that?
ehhhhhh not really, unless by some miracle genuine writing motivation/inspiration hits, which is about as rare as a lightning strike these days!
sometimes i jot down scenes or conversations & post unedited snippets, but i haven't written a full fic or oneshot in.... since February! but hey! chances are low but never zero
#HAS IT REALLY BEEN AROUND 7 MONTHS??? DAMN TIME FLIES. IT ROCKETS. IT ZOOMS AT LIGHTSPEED#like there's stuff i Want to write#like the decapitation fic & the laughingstock fic & stuff for aus.....#but geez. man. Fuck....#my writing skills have atrophied and so has my Brain!#though i am going to be proceeding to the final stage of my Big Move next month so....#maybe once all this bullshit is over ill be in a space where i Can write#(and also respond to my friends which is killing me inside but this aint about that)#bc i am down to clown as well! but the clown in me is actually a jester. and that jester is jingling miserably across the floor#rambles from the bog#the tension between me & writing/editing a full fic is thick enough to cut with a knife#but yeah i had it good for a couple years there!#i was writing at Least a fic a month! my ao3 has 53 works of batman fanfiction (in varying degrees of quality) wowee!#*loosely batman. mostly his kids. w/ some yj or supers sprinkled in for Flavor...#but Anyway i would looooove to spice things up#And Post Puppet Fic. maybe some moomin....#or even original works! or flight rising! idk! i wanna expand my inventory!#once again guiltily looking at all of my dc wips. sigh
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winter depression is here and I am ANNOYED about it
#not really a vent in tags. just bitching about it lmao#i am a creative extrovert who suddenly does not want to create or talk to people!#but i have been through this more than enough times to know that i need to start doing those things MORE#as to not get dragged into the depression spiral#and like for a lot of people it's just 'get outside more'#but my disabled ass isn't easily able to do that so it's just 'text more. discord more. draw more. read more. inside things more.'#which does work for me but is harder in some ways#i do not miss high school but at least it got me out of the house some#at least I do enjoy christmastime. i like the lights and the vibes and the winter flavors and scents of things#so i have that in the next few weeks to lean into#like idk. i know how to deal with this. i do it every year. it's more annoying than anything at this point#like. oh okay. life feels like a cloudy grey parking lot. again. it'll go away eventually.#and until then i just need to be a Normal Person About Everything if i feel like it or not#hate that feeling of going through the motions. everything is just emotional grey static
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uhh. uhhhhh
#realistically i knw that if i went thru with making animatics for all of these songs I think my hand would fall off BUT. i have brainrot#half of these songs are either here bc of the vibe or because i listened to the lyrics and read analyses and put 2 much effort than i had t#ALSO LISTEN. LISTEN BODYBAG IS EXACTLY EVERYTHING I IMAGINE WHENEVER I THINK OF WUKONG AND MACAQUES RELATIONSHIP OK#two birds and baby hotline is also kind of self explanatory. although most of the jack stauber songs are mostly for vibe#bitter water is a very specific flavor of pining / unhealthy outlook. kind of has like an insatiable vibe to it but idk how to name it#i want soap to be a healing song but maybe im just being optimistic. im here for the vibes although i feel like if swk and macaque were#actually to make up i think they would go into it kicking and screaming. and im frustrated because i cant find a song to match that#except maybe bodybag which AGAIN. THEY ARE SO FUCKING STUPID THATS HOW THEYRE GONNA HEALL FLYING BARK PLS#what if it doesnt end well also feels like a doomed narrative to me. like if you think about it from how their relationship might have st#started (and im probably taking from how everyone romanticizes their relationship as something really innocent or sweet at the start which#i am also not immune to that). but knowing them it is also a very good possibility thats not the case at all. what it is i dont know#primadonna also strikes me as a swk song but like msotly because he serves cunt. on that note I like to imagine rose colored boy as swk to#MK.BECAUSEEE i love how MK brings out the best in people AND AND AND!! 5000 year old immortal who has seen some shit come on people 'and i#have taken my glasses off' COME ON LOOK ATIT. you could also argue that could be macaque to MK and it would make sense#Spotify#Lego Monkie kid#lmk#yapping#playlist#monkie kid
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One day I'm going to finish my FFXVI mega essay, but for now I think my thoughts on the game can be summarized like this:
When making FFXVI, the developers sure knew what they wanted to do, and by god were they going to do it.
Were they also going to do other things that would make those first thing better? Were they going to do other things that make a good game overall? Ehhhhh...they were going to do what they wanted to do, and invest all their time and effort into that, so surely that would be enough! Surely!
#i saw someone call FFXVI the most disappointing 8/10 game they'd ever played#and i agree 100%#it started off SO STRONG#and then. and then!!!#ffxvi#my overall rating is in fact an 8 out of 10. maybe 8.5. definitely not a 9#i enjoyed many parts of it but by god were the lows low#some of the highs were very high too! i don't regret buying or playing the game! i'm glad i did#but yeah most disappointing 8/10 i ever played is an apt description#my opinion might be slightly impacted by my uh. mental state at the time#2023 was not a good year for me. for several months ffxvi was the only thing i had to look forward to in life#and that's really sad but that was just the place i was in. life was absolutely miserable#i played the demo and was over the moon. good things were coming! it was way better than i anticipated!#then i played the game and while i enjoyed a lot of it a lot was just tedious in a bad way#so many repeated plotlines and so much whacking you over the head with the points they wanted to make#like come on guys i am not an idiot do you really need to tell me this exact thing 18 different times#and have me go out of my way to get. reward which is just a slightly different flavor of that same thing 18 times#that's what i mean by them doing a few things very well. by god were they going to do them. and only them#graphics? beautiful. i had to stop at several points bc i was stunned by the quality.#but after you've seen a few forests and some fallen ruins it gets boring when that's it. the world was just so small and empty#yes i do support the rise up against your oppressor plotlines because that is a good thing to do but that was like. 90% of the story#(including sidequests) and it just kind of got old. why did i just spend 3 hours straight doing sidequests that gave me nothing new#made some of the sidequests feel pointless. especially because the rewards in this game sucked#uh oh i'm getting too negative so i'll end it here#ffxvi was a good game but it is not one of my faves. glad i played it but idk when i'll play it again.#erurandomness
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Honestly a lot of things could have gone wrong with the soup. My refrigerator door was open when I went into the kitchen yesterday morning, and I don't know for how long, so the fish and bacon could potentially have spoiled. I don't think they did, because the ranch dressing that was in the door and right by the opening was still plenty cold (and I ate a lot of that earlier in the day and felt fine) and also Morgoth was eager enough to try and eat the fish and bacon, and he generally has a good sense for food that's gone bad.
Some of the cilantro I used was blooming. I picked all of the blooming bits (and the bits where the leaves were a different shape around it) out, but potentially that didn't sit well with me? Blooming broccoli certainly doesn't.
A few of the larger chunks of potato were undercooked, but I ate them anyway. I don't think this is it either, as I used to eat fully uncooked potato all the time with no negative side effects.
Had really bad heartburn, but drank wine anyway. (Completely unrelated to the soup. This is just a bad idea in general.)
Drank Pinot Grigio. Legitimately and unironically think how disgusting this wine is makes it just as likely a candidate as anything else.
This Just Happens Sometimes. This just happens sometimes. Like I said, I'm sure it was due to gas moving in my stomach. I have that pretty bad in general and I think that throwing up is sometimes just a physical response to that, without the necessity of having bad food (though bad food can of course make it worse). Could have just been bad timing. I hope that's it.
#could be a combination of the latter + i stayed up really late#i remember sometime last year#which i dont remember last year too well but i do remember that at some point i cut myself off and started going to bed no later than 1 am#specifically because if i stayed up any later i started to feel sick and threw up a couple of times#could just be thats what happens if i stay up late#which. sure. makes sense. what the hell#i am however going to add all the oregano i have to the soup just in case#and MAYBE a bit of caraway? idk how the flavors will work maybe ill season a little bit with caraway and see how it goes#anyway i legitimately dont think the problem is with the soup#although the last time i made soup the same thing happened#that was when i was 13 tho and i added canned 3 bean salad to it#so like. im pretty sure i know what happened last time
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why am i making pasta and already fucking up on step one bro fuck my gay ass life
#so i added like a packet of those bouillon cubes. like one and it’s chicken flavor#before i add in the pasta (which was already. kinda dumb bc now the water is just flavored i think and the pasta doesn’t absorb any of it)#so the waters boiling i go to add in the pasta and the water is like the same shade as the pasta so now i can’t see anything and like.#can’t measure how much pasta goes in. tldr i added the whole box bc there wasn’t that much left anyway but oml#ik worst outcome of this is that i have leftovers and food for tomorrow so i don’t have to eat whatever i eat or cook again but i’m usually#more on top of my game. i’m gonna give myself the benefit since i’m tired as fuck. i added in another cube but idk the flavor maybe beef#i have made pasta like a hundred times before i’m like the only one in this house that does besides my mom. why am i doing this#but it’s cool it’s chill i like pasta i love pasta shirt that says i ❤️ pasta i think i was italian in a past life maybe. or i just really#like pasta#my text
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I have yet to keep inspecting the sweepstakes, I need some air and food first, but I might as well share what I've been thinking about Mike today, because I heard of an interpretation saying Mike was a camera man for Spamton which ... Is very interesting. Like for me this makes me think of Mike as someone who admired Spamton, someone way smaller than him, definitely younger imo, who simply excitedly followed along with the orders given. I mean, up to a certain point. I mean this feeling is reinforced in the q&a when asked about Mike, that makes Spamton get very defensive, almost protective. In my eyes it almost creates this almost platonic familiar bond dynamic whatever. But like this is just a shot in the dark, bc what we know is, 3 lines, period. But if when chapter 3, 4 and 5 come out and Mike is there and I'm right about these things then I'm gonna feel like a god tbh.
#luly talks#not gonna put this one on main tag bc its a bit too vague and speculative and shit but im leaving rbs on in case some1 is like hm ur into#something here nemo im which case i will wag my tail and bat my eyelashes#but am i making sense anyway?#like just to make sure: my idea of mike is a camera man younger and smaller than Spamton who admired the guy#and spamton out of idk fondness bc he reminded him of his old self kinda took the guy under his wing in a way#that's why he's so protective and shit#although unrelated to this bc just. putting that there and NOT touching it but it's interesting what Spammy says right after name dropping#mike if you believe in the cameraman interpretation (which i saw in a video i then stopped watching bc i wanted to explore that shit myself)#bc he right after says to not believe anything you see on tv but this could easily imply mike did do his part but the editing team changed#shit. but its just very curious what involvement Mike could've had because. why would he be as targeted as he appears to be?#and what caused him to also abandone spamton? is mike even fucking alive? judging by Spammy's q&a dialogue you'd assume he is#but i mean that's official but not canon right so it's a bit hard to judge?#but Mike seems to be the only one he isn't really resentful towards for leaving him almost implying it wasn't Mike's choice?#i just can't wait to see more of this bc it's gonna reveal a whole side to this little puppet previously unknown#in fact i think that after breathing some air im gonna go look at the snowgrave neo fight flavor text and cry and piss and etc#I'm still not over spamton begs the audience to stop taking the furniture i can see the poor guy being evicted as he tries to plead not to#so vividly wugh. my poor little guy of questionable morals . . . 😢#also don't get me started on the commemorative ring man what on earth is going on there.........
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god. why are you guys so weird about bisexuals
#its either the flirty sexy sexually skilled heart-throb that gets all the girls and guys they want is a homewrecker and cheater#or its treated like this other flavor of gay to add ''''spiciness''#when i tell someone im bi they look at me and go ''damn ok! lol'' and its like. god man idk#im not even talking about fandom im just talking about Life#it gets me pissed that making a bi person emotional and the such is actually a big subversion of the Bisexual Character#also back to real life with that thing: yes i have had people be actually shocked that i dont have much dating experience while being bi#theyre like '? i thought you were bi tho!' and i am. i dont need to kiss a girl and then kiss a guy to sit and be like#''hm which one to choose'' i can decided things because i want to#i used to have the idea that you *had* to be sure to choose a label but like? man#im just living now like im not even sure if i really like women im not even sure if im allo im just existing doing my thing#i dunno i hate labels i hate stereotypes i want to kill everyone and the next person to decide a character is bi just because theyre flirty#will have each one of their teeth pulled out by yours truly#txt
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.
#sorenhoots#I have an idea roaming around in my brain#it feels like an overreaction because society reserves the word ‘trauma’ for visible stuff#like a physical injury or a traumatic event so bad that even society’s pressure to not show symptoms isn’t enough to cover it up#but like…. I am slowly allowing myself to expand my definition of trauma to include things that non-autistic people would scoff at#such as being exposed to a bad texture or trying a food that my autism doesn’t like or stuff like that#on one hand it’s like ‘oh my god don’t be dramatic. eating a chicken strip with a really chewy spot isn’t trauma’ which sounds like a#reasonable thing to say but like. as a young kid that happened to me and I still can’t eat chicken strips without being *significantly*#stressed about encountering the bad texture again.#i take COMFORT in the fact that- when I had shingles- the shingles pain was HORRIBLE and yet the texture of my bedsheet was WORSE#and I’m realizing I have some Things I’ve always been like… ‘triggered’ by. colors or patterns. I assumed they must be related to my#trauma that is undisputedly traumatic- I assumed those colors or patterns must have been involved#the same way I can’t stand a couple of flavors because they remind me of it#but maybe it’s just that checkered patterns bother my autism. maybe I don’t like blue because it just hurts my eyes.#have I unnecessarily tied Autism Sensory Pain to separate traumatic events as a way to explain them?#I don’t know. but I think the first step in digesting all of that is to allow myself to categories Bad Sensory Events as Traumatic#like I’m allowed to say shingles was traumatic. I panic anytime I think I feel the tingly sensation it started as#but I’m way more repulsed by certain textures. so why not describe them as trauma?#idk. one thing I don’t like is showers? and I started applying some of my PTSD work to them#such as getting familiar with smaller steps that are less sensory overwhelming#or changing the circumstances enough that my brain doesn’t go ‘wait this is a ShowerTM which has traumatized me in the past from sensory’#and it absolutely helps. which is something to mull over at least
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@ihatethewest is a radfem who has a huge terf following and often interacts with other radfem blogs (if you search "feminism" on their blog, it's all from radfems)
Anon I think if you go tell them about it directly, it might resolve your issue??
inb4 the rest: I haven't contacted her before posting this reply;;
anon i did take your suggestion to search her blog under 'feminism' and originally did see some questionable posts. but as I'm typing this response, I refreshed the search and it appears that she's actively removing rbs from radfems, maybe she got shinigami eyes a little late in the game, who knows.
so... anon.
did I do anything wrong? I don't think I've reblogged posts with terf radfem content but please let me know if I did thanks 👍
this is not an invitation for any radfems/terfs thinking my blog is friendly to you lot. you will be welcome here once you dismantle the hateful ideology from your mind and are no longer a radfem including you 'cryptos'
#asks#anon#the girls are fighting.txt#I mean if I've rb'd any specific posts that have harmful rhetoric pls let me know. I'll delete it#because yeah. I don't support any transphobia or misandry#while tumblr does seem to want to suggest 'blogs like this one' that have those components of radfem off of @ihatethewest's blog.#i don't see posts of that flavor on their blog? maybe she was radfem back in the day but i'd say it looks like she's not anymore#idk maybe that's where a lot of people start & then realize there are many parts of it that are bad!! u can talk to them directly about it?#I don't want to judge people purely by their past as if their current actions/change don't count.#i don't want to subscribe to 'once an x always an x' especially when it comes to ideology. which is something that CAN change#this is also like the 2nd blog that someone's told me is a radfem but also happens to be black ???#the other one was legit BAD w/ terf shit tho. like that was deserving of calling out. also the person who told me wasnt anon#<- im NOT saying that being black is an excuse/shield for terfism NOR am i saying that black feminism->radfem.#but is it a coincidence?? it is misogynoir on the part of anon???? whats going on folks. what. is. happening.#idk im tired. hey anon! you wanna tell me about other blogs that are for black liberation and aren't 'work with the establishment' liberal?#like im trying to get clued in to aligned struggles. clearly i have a void to fill wrt listening to black folk & im trying to remedy that#thru youtube and tumblr. purity policing is making it... annoying. also people's thoughts can change over time hello#exhibit A right here. I used to be a liberal & thought NPR was the bomb.com lmfao. u think people should start out perfect or be beheaded??#chen yells at clouds. more at 10
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attempting to bake today
#logbook#banana bread was a bust. small oven too short and the flavor wasnt rly there.#now im trying snickerdoodle. . .idk. i put it in a pan and am praying out stupid big oven works lol#at the very least i did some baking. which is nice.#i'd like to try and make a meal maybe. something pasta.
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I wanna draw this with one of my ocs
#whimsy whispers#ibis is being normal again and i wanna draw but idk what to draw#which means shitty meme art#I’m leaning heavily towards drawing cashmere for this but I haven’t actually decided#Lanturn could also work#cashmere and lanturn are diff flavors or broke bitch#it’s 5:57am why am I awakeeeeee
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If anyone has any advice for helping with anxiety I would love to hear it. Specifically for presentations and interviews. Every other day to day thing I'm mostly fine in. Problem is that I have a interview tomorrow and if I'm way too noticeably panicking about it they're going to think that I won't be able to do the job, because it's a job where you need to have a certain level of confidence. Like, I have that necessary confidence!! Just specifically not for interviews!
#presentations and interviews are really just 2 different flavors of the same thing#I have managed to get through plenty of them before in school and college#and I know I'll be able to get through this one#it's just that in school it didn't matter if I was clearly very visibly nervous - I wasn't getting marked on that#I was getting marked on the content and my understanding of it. So like it was fine#like. my teachers and classmates knew I specifically didn't like presentations and were mindful of that and didn't judge me#But the whole *point* of a job interview is being judged :')#I either need to not show how nervous I am (which. I could probably lower how nervous I appear but it's still going to be there)#or I can somehow make clear that my anxiety during the interview would have absolutely no effect on my ability to do the job#and idk how to do that
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another get to know me tag game
tagged by @welcometowriteblr, thanks for the tag!
Favourite Colour: gonna just say green for now, i'm getting a new phone that's this very nice mint green color :)
Favourite Flavour: funnily enough, mint. lemon, strawberry and raspberry are very close contenders though
Cravings: red bean jelly ice pops T-T also shrimp tempura rolls
Last Book Read: loveless by alice oseman (my friend got it for my birthday and i FINALLY got around to reading it lol)
Last Song Listened To: choke by IDKHOW
Last Movie Watched: leap/ballerina (watched it with my friend a few weeks ago but we just skipped most of it to watch the dance sequences lmao)
Currently Working On: too many wips for my brain to handle
tagging: @djthedumbass, @iwantadamusername, @writinglyra
#tag game#yep i am doing two get to know me tag games in a row#apple flavor is also very good but idk if thats an option generally#wait yk whats a banger flavor. tomato#and bbq for savory stuff#wait maybe the fav flavor thing was supposed to be like sweet/salty etc#in which case i think salty wins out but i also very much enjoy sweet and sour things#i guess also umami? but i'd count that as salty
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