#If he's not a villain and you TRULY can just beg someone enough until the Goodness Deep Down springs up like a geyser--

[bonefall]

The really sad thing about the narrative of DOTCs is I can legit see Bumble and Grey Wing becoming Friends. Instead the authors put Grey against her because in the distance future Firestar has to be the special lil guy and break the kittypet bloodline weakness curse or something (still love ya Fire.)

I'm not sure... I think the Gray Wing they wrote is so nasty and spiteful that he was always going to hate Bumble, because she "took" his romantic interest from him. I think to like Gray Wing, you have to like a completely new character.

He isn't wise, at all. He's actually completely oblivious. To Clear Sky, to his partners, to his adopted children's feelings. He has a couple nice interactions with Pebble Heart and that's about it.

His emotions are constantly clouding his judgement. Spite towards Bumble, adoration for Clear Sky, frustration at Turtle Tail coming down from heaven because she can't stay (???)

Complete misogynist. Judges female characters much more harshly than male characters around him, even going so far as to feel happy that Wind Runner has no ambition while she's nursing her kittens.

Tried to "comfort" her when her baby passed away by telling her "we can't save everyone and maybe it's for the best it died. Anyway it would be easier for you if you believed in Jesus."

This isn't even getting into the constant ridiculing of fat people and Chelford cats.

He's everything that sucks about male WC protags in a little bundle. Sad boy who has to get rewarded for all his "romantic suffering" with a womb to incubate his 'real' children after being a moron at best and a jackass at worst for 6 books.

I just can't see the character they wrote maintaining a friendship with Bumble. He seems like he'd come up with some stupid reason to dislike her and smugly cap it off with, "and that's that!" like he did when he was berating Turtle Tail for even thinking about going to live with her. And then the writers make everyone clap.

[le-trash-prince]

THIS SCENE

THIS SCENE WAS EVERYTHING TO ME

First of all, shout-out to Nick for quietly but assuredly knocking on the door to the stall while Boston and his hookup are making out and then proceeding to give a heartfelt apology and confession, as if the hookup isn’t even there. 95% of people wouldn’t be caught dead even walking into the bathroom, and the other 5% would cause a loud, raging scene. Nick is in his own league.

Also I do feel bad for the hookup for getting interrupted and then having to stand at the back of the bathroom stall during all this. Shoutout to you bro.

Anyways can I just gush and be emotional over this scene? After everything that Nick has done to try and keep Boston by his side, he comes in with this speech to say goodbye, and he gives Boston so many things that he needed to hear.

First of all, this apology was absolutely necessary, as was the “You don’t have to forgive me.” Boston hasn’t gotten a single acknowledgment that what happened to him was messed up. The only apology Nick gave before was when he was begging Boston to stay, and that’s not a real apology, that’s just saying what you think someone wants to hear. While Nick could have gone into more detail about why what he did was wrong, this is still a heartfelt and genuine apology. He’s not apologizing just to make Boston happy with him. He’s not begging for forgiveness. He’s just saying that he’s sorry.

Then there’s this. This is one of the things I love about BostonNick because they do seem so truly happy around each other, even outside the bedroom. And Nick has never said it until now. Boston has gotten closer to saying this than Nick. And Boston probably hasn’t heard this from anyone before.

We know that Boston is used to people only wanting him for sex. We know he was surprised when Nick asked him to help move because he couldn’t comprehend someone wanting a favor from him that wasn’t sexual in nature.

Earlier this episode, Atom compliments Boston’s photography skills, but that conversation was about sex and Atom trying to get into Boston’s pants. Nick has already made it clear that he isn’t asking for anything, and I don’t think Boston is used to people complimenting him without an angle.

But this is the part that Boston needed to hear the most. Because honestly, who doesn’t need to hear this?

“You’re not a bad guy.” Boston especially is constantly villainized by the people around him, when there’s only a few specific things that he has really done wrong. And this statement wouldn’t hit the same coming from anyone else. Because Nick knows everything that Boston has done wrong, and Nick has done some of those same things himself. Nick means it when he says Boston isn’t bad. And this in itself is an apology for things Nick has said before. That Boston is a bad guy, that he deserved what he got for sleeping around.

“Your friends love you for who you are” It’s the way Boston has to steel himself for a moment when Nick says this. Hats off to you, Boston coz I’d be weeping. You are so dedicated to not feeling emotions but Nick has gotten to you.

“Because I love you for who you are.” Honestly do y’all think Boston has ever expected that he would hear these words? Boston is so scared of being known. He tries to wear his confidence on his sleeve, but he is scared of exposure and he is scared of letting people close.

And yet here is Nick, who knows Boston. Who knows that Boston lusts freely and openly, who knows that Boston can be mean with the truth, and that he has the fatal human flaw of desiring companionship. And he loves him. Who doesn’t want that!!

Boston is processing more feelings in this moment than he has in his entire life. The Boston of 8 episodes ago would not care about Nick saying goodbye. The shirt is bang on the nose once again because the old Boston, the pre-Nick Boston would be smiling like nothing mattered. But instead, his walls have crumbled.

I cannot say enough that I love the way this scene closed. That this is what pushes Boston to chase after Nick. The development!!! 😔🤌✨

And then we end with a parallel shot from before the bathroom!! The cinematic poetry is killing me. Nick seeing Boston with someone else and deciding to move on—and then Boston seeing Nick with someone else and realizing that he wants to hold on.

I need ppl to yell about this with because I’m not okay, I love this red flag ship, and I want to glue this scene to my eyeballs.

[avocado-writing]

I had this thought this morning and I have had no peace since and I have to share it with somebody!

I think that Wyll, because he has spent his life being very kind and restrained (something it feels like he forces on himself sometimes, even when it would be healthier to let himself react with other "negative" emotions), would actually get a lot of pleasure from taking a dominant role if you were to bring BDSM into your relationship. I think it would be the first time he ever let himself be "cruel". His favorite is teasing and edging you relentlessly until you feel like you're on the edge of madness, and only once you are a pleading whimpering mess, begging him for release, does he give it to you. If he's feeling extra mean, he'll overstim you after all of that teasing, telling you how beautiful you look as you cum for him repeatedly. I just feel like it would give him a sense of control and release over any negative feelings he feels like he has to suppress in his day-to-day. And of course the aftercare is top notch with this man, so sweet and tender. He loves you so much, and goes back to being a ray of sunshine after reducing you to a babbling mess. Of course there are just as many times where he is just the most tender partner in bed, I just think it would be such a healthy release for him and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, I love him so much.

I don't have the writing skills to make a fic of this, but I'm hoping someone who does feels inspired by this so I can read one, hehe.

~🪷

rated e, minors dni

Your husband must be a devil, for he certainly acts like one on nights like this.

“Please, please, please…” you murmur, sex alight with need, limbs splayed out and restrained to the four posters of the bed. You trust Wyll absolutely but that doesn’t mean he won’t reduce you to a needy mess. Together it is one of your favourite pastimes: he allows himself to be a little more dominant, a little more wicked, and you lay back as he teases you to madness.

“Please what…?” he asks, his mouth breathing a trail of warmth down your thigh. You attempt to clasp his head between your legs but are thwarted by the soft silk bindings. You mewl in frustration.

“I need to come, Wyll, please let me come…”

“Hmmm… I’m not sure if you deserve it… have you been good enough?” he mutters, thinking it over playfully. You harrumph. You’re not sure how long he’s kept you like this for. Not enough for you to lose the feeling in your ankles and wrists - he is surely too attentive to let that happen - but enough that your sex is aching, desperate to be sated, calling out for your husband’s touch like it would be the sweetest salve.

From between your legs, Wyll looks up and you and grins. He has the loveliest smile, even when he is trying to drive you out of your mind with pleasure and need in equal measure.

He is delightful. He is evil.

Four times? Five? He’s taken you to the edge and left you there with his clever tongue, skillful fingers, then just let your release ebb away again. All you know is lust for him. When his tongue traces you, you yelp.

“Please! Please, Wyll! Please let me come, I need you! I’ve been good!”

As if he was waiting on those magic words he finally dips his head down and lets his mouth finish the job. It doesn’t take long for your orgasm to sweep over you and he laps up every drop you give him - and it is a lot. You’ve eked this out for a while, after all.

It hits you so hard that your vision goes black and then bursts with stars, your climax a wave over your body, quenching a drought he brought on you. He is both giver and taker like this, and truly you’d have it no other way. You’ve never come so hard in your life since your husband revealed this side of himself.

You remember when he first suggested it: he was so worried, so quiet., as if you’d reject him outright and consider him a villain It was a side you hadn’t expected from him but you were thrilled. You’d snapped the book you were holding shut and made him tie you up immediately. Ever since then this side of him would rear its head, and you were always more than happy to accommodate him…

As you come down from your high, you’re aware of Wyll undoing the ties around you. Your arms and legs relax into the mattress and he wraps you up in his embrace before feeding you a glass of water which he always keeps next to the bed. You drink it down thirstily and nuzzle into his chest. He laughs, his kind self back, the ruthless persona he slips into banished for the night.

“Are you alright?” he asks, voice soft and full of concern. When you nod enthusiastically he chuckles again, and you can hear it from inside his ribs along with his heartbeat. A lovely melody.

“Well, I could probably sleep for about twelve hours after that orgasm, but apart from that I’m fine.” 

Wyll smiles and begins to gently massage the skin where the knots lay, soothing you in body and soul.

“If that’s what you desire, then sleep, my love.”

You bury yourself deeper into the safety of him and indulge.

taglist: @ghosti02art @sadandanxiouswtf @yeethaw13 @trappedinlimbo15 @infinitely-kate @dhampling @wereallbrokenangels @tilldeathdonugget @useless-contributions @beardedladyqueen @snoozeeebee

[valentine-cafe]

Can i request your ocs with an oblivious reader? Like it doesn't matter how heavy the flirting, reader just thinks 'oh, they're being nice' or 'oh, they're just naturally flirty' so even if they tease and flirt back a bit they don't realise your ocs are legitimately interested? Could be anyone, but if you can answer this for many ocs can i also ask for the poetic reader in the bunch?

Kisses and hugs<3

. ˚◞♡ 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒏 𝒐𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓◞ ₊˚

𖹭. how a selection of characters react to an oblivious reader that they are clearly interested in /gn reader

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ꒰ TALISEN 781 ꒱ knows exactly how to deal with this. darling you’re giving this man flashbacks to rishen — but enough of that. at first, he’d find it amusing and test the waters. see just how obvious you truly were. talisen’s flirts are always poetic ( unless you are in a relationship with him to which they can swing ), always seamless. the kind that makes you swoon, the kind you find in books — so when he saw that none of it was working on you. . . well he did what he has learnt. be honest. steal you away to the rooftop and tell you his genuine feelings. he’s not making the same mistake twice — and it’ll save him the grey hairs. so he’d serenade you were a poem, and then right-out tell you about his feelings.

grim reaper x reader, snake monster x reader, hero x reader, poet x reader

 

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ꒰ JÌNGYÍ 9948E ꒱ thought that maybe you just weren’t too good with social cues - and someone who struggles with english he thought maybe that might be it too. but nope - he quickly found out that all of his advances went right over your head. no matter how hard he tried. the most bluntest of flirts, the most suggestive. . . and you’d just smile at him. needless to say he’d eventually snatch you up and kiss you breathless because when words don’t work for him, then actions surely will.

grim reaper x reader, ghost x reader

 

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ꒰ HÀOYÚ 9948E ꒱ took it as a challenge. maybe if he flirts hard enough you’ll get the hint - he can be shameless. surely he would find a way to get his point across to you, right? and so he’d flirt with you at whatever chance he got. waiting for that fluster. keen eyes staring at you, waiting for some kind of reaction. something. anything. you drove him insane. all of his poems, his flirts, his little compliments, his very blatant comments. none of them worked. and eventually, he would gently cup you by the face - stare at you like he was losing his mind and chuckle: “respectfully. and with all the love. what is wrong with you.”

grim reaper x reader, 

 

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ꒰ RISHEN 1311 ꒱ also took it as a bit of a challenge yet also found it quite amusing just how oblivious you were. he’d play around with you. throw little flirts and comments whenever the moment was right for it. innuendos too. not to even mention how touchy this woman can be. and when they noticed that none of it was working? well, their curiosity only sparked. so they’d keep testing just how far your obliviousness pushed to until someone, ( yu xi ), would pull you aside and beg you to give rishen something. because at this point it’s agonising for the rest of the team to watch. what a way to find out that the director of aegis was into you.

assassin x reader, spy x reader, admiral x reader

 

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ꒰ ALESSIO 1311 ꒱ was also very determined. he’s charming, he’s sure that he could make you fold eventually. . . and then eventually turned into a few months and he was left in a state of shock. you actually shocked this old man. and now here he was, acting like fucking rishen and strategically trying to decipher the best, most shameless flirt that would leave you blushing and stammering. and when that didn’t work? he felt his world crumble. fuck it. he’ll pull you backstage and make-out with you until you’re whining. maybe then you’ll get the idea.

rockstar x reader, enigma x reader, villain x reader

 

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ꒰ ORION ꒱ was so confused. in all of his millennia of being alive - he had never met a more oblivious person than you. it started with the subtle flirts, and when those didn’t hit you he gradually heightened the flirts. the comments. tried to worm his way in — and when none of it worked. . . he decided, that it was time for the bluntness. orion is shameless, when he wants something he makes it very obvious. and that’s exactly what he told you - all while he snatched you by the waist and leaned you into the castle’s wall. whispering his utmost love against your ear.

abyssal angel x reader

[disfrutalakia]

Can I pick yor brain to theorize a bit? So Blue won today which means they're leading. If we do a bit of math we can conclude that purgatory will end on the 18th (otherwise they could tie or it will last until the 20th which would be a bit more than 2 weeks). That would mean that if Blue wins two more times they win no matter what. The same way, if Red wins 3 more times they win no matter what.

The problem here is: no one has any concrete evidence for which is the cursed team yet. Some theorize is one, some want to be the other. But no one knows.

The Eye said guess or find out or something like it. But we don't know in what to base it. Should we base our guess in lore, in strength, in suffering, in meta?

The closest anyone got to the real truth was ElQuackity being offered to know in exchange for killing someone that day or he would die. Well, he didn't die so there's that. And he talked to the Eye again after that and didn't mention anything about it. So, did they just ignore that plot point or does ElQuackity know now which team is cursed but the audience doesn't?

You could argue that he wanted Blue and Green to tie BECAUSE he knew which team is cursed. He could either want Blue to lose so the cursed wins OR because he wanted the cursed to lose (since that would doom the eggs too).

ElQuackity has not logged since going to Blue so we can't test this theory well yet.

Or maybe the Eye is lying about the whole thing, which wouldn't be a surprise, and no one is cursed.

If by any God forsaken chance Green was the cursed team... F in chat to our eggs, you will be missed. The Gay Ninjas tried their best. There's no coming back from this one.

One of the tweets also said "May the best egg die". How does that work? What is "best" here based on?

The more I hear the Eye talk the less I fear him. Can't he threaten people better? He showed a video of the eggs running away like two months ago. Show them now you half-baked villain, we've known they ran away since the end of the happy pills arc. Do you actually even have them? Forever could do a stone Richarlyson at his home, you're not impressing anyone with this. Just cause your is bigger and has Pomme's beret it doesn't mean anything. (I hope. F Pomchas.)

Also, once again it begs the never answered question: What WOULD happen if they tied? What will Eye do if they don't do anything all day? Like, sure, if cursed loses is bad but if it's before the last day they didn't lose yet. Just that day (technically).

If we go meta, I think they didn't choose the cursed team yet and may do so only based on the results from the event. But that's boring so let's talk about lore and real fun things like that.

For me, the cursed team being whoever had ElQuackity on them is something that has some kinda of proofs, but at the same time wouldn't make that much sense. Like did the eye know from the beginning who would be the teams? And why would everything fall on ElQuackity? And would that mean that cursed team changed from green to blue? If the curse truly is on the person I mean.

And can I be real? The eye guy SUCKS as a villain, sure he is ominous and can see everything but guess what? So could the feds, and the eye plans are a lot worse than theirs which mean they are horrible cause like, the feds are the guy who sent a single worker on a boat to purgatory!! The eye is not what strikes fear really, it's the islanders minds that do, the ones that keep thinking of the what if, what if they lose? What if they are cursed? What if they never go back? I get what they were trying to do with the eye but it didn't really work, he isn't around enough to really strike fear on us. And like, not that we know a lot about the reasons of why the feds do their stuff, but why the egg hates sinners and eggs so much? Is he god? What is he?

Okay got a bit distracted sorry, the whole "may the best egg die" thing sounded more like just a play on words really, but what if the best one is the one who survives? What if the statues really were connected to the eggs and the ones who weren't killed will be considered the best? Doesn't make a lot of sense but honestly cannot think about other possibilities for that choice of words.

The tie also makes me confuses, when it was said they would all die, did they mean everyone including red? Or if not, would everyone just be sent to red and they would win by default?

I'm a believer that there isn't a cursed team really, that it's mostly a mind game from the egg part to see how low the islander can go, to see them running around like rats trying to survive while also hunting each other like wolves, because there are no clues for the players really, like we as an audience can have our theories based on millions of povs, but what about the islanders? they can't do that.

I would like there to be clue drops over the next days since we are so close to the end but, I don't think it will be the case really. I think the curse team doesn't exist and this will be revealed at the end.

[julie-su]

Some folks on the BK server asked more for the ask game, so here we go on Omega, Battle Lord Kukku, and Julie-Su!

Julie-Su: Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual - but she doesn't know this, until Rouge one day flirts with her to try and cause maximum chaos, instantly confusing Julie-Su... Cue new rendition of Kick the Rock. 'I don't love you!' .. I think she's poly like I think Knuckles is. Gender Headcanon: I said before 'she/her gay', and I think if you can decipher that, then you get what I'm saying. But if you can't, I can't help XD A ship I have with said character: .. -looks up- -looks down- -looks all around- -up in the air and on the ground- I mean, Knuxsu is the only one for me XD I'm also open to others, as long as Knuckles and Julie-Su are together still. A BROTP I have with said character: We already did Mighty and Julie-Su when I went through Mighty headcanons, so... I think that Julie-Su really enjoys hanging out with Remington. I mean, the second thing he did was pop a helmet on her and give her a gun and tell her to ride along and shoot things XD I think when she finds out he's her nephew, she's overjoyed. And a little confused at the timeline, but overjoyed nonetheless XD also she gets away with way too much. "Hey, Remy? .. I know you play by the rules, but you're not getting this gun back. It's mine." A NOTP I have with said character: Mighty x Julie-Su, I also don't like Julie-Su x Shade as I see Shade as someone who is ... 23-26? I won't like, stop anyone, as there's really no canon age for Shade, though - it's just my personal headcanon. A random headcanon: I think that it takes Julie-Su a long while to truly come down from how she was treated as a soldier, but Knuckles slowly helps her to lower her guard. The Chaotix slowly become a family to her, she even lets her guard down with Vector! Sure, she wants to clock him over the head half of the time, but she will also march right into battle if anything ever happens to him or his. She cares in an... Intense and scary way. General Opinion over said character: Julie-Su is my absolute favourite - something about her just makes me happy. It's funny, I kind of didn't like her at first! But the more I re-read, the more I just felt myself drawn to her. I suppose it was a 'I hate you because you remind me of that part of me that I hate' - but you learn to love yourself, and then you look at the character, and you want to weep for how you have tried to inhibit loving yourself and this character. I don't know, it does run deep with my dear Julie-Su ^^

Battle Lord Kukku Sexuality Headcanon: ... He's straight, for sure, but he for sure says things like 'Everybody looks at men, it doesn't mean anything'. So he's not straight. But he is. You get it Gender Headcanon: -looking at him- ... Cis male A ship I have with said character: ... ... Okay, this is left-field, and also begs questions of 'how did you even get there..?' but that's MY butterfly effect in convos. Dr. Quark and Lord Kukku have got soemthing going on. It's like Eggman and Wily type. Don't worry about it. A BROTP I have with said character: This man spends waaaay too long completely on his own, secluded from society. We have got to start doing a villains mixer, and see who he befriends. A NOTP I have with said character: ...? I really don't know XD A random headcanon: I think that he secretly enjoys millet sticks. You walk in on him and he is just eating that thing with reckless abandon. It's kind of cute, kind of disturbing. General Opinion over said character: I think he's so fun! I love the two different iterations in the comics for a guy from a game like Tails' Adventure. How fun! I really like that he sits on a bird perch in the comics.

Omega: Sexuality Headcanon: Explosions and Death and and Murder Gender Headcanon: Murder and Death and Explosions A ship I have with said character: ... Shade and Omega intrigues me. I wouldn't say that I ship it, but I DO find it fun enough to mention. "Your weaponry is........ Adequate" ".. Is Omega flirting with that echidna?" A BROTP I have with said character: Team dark is too easy! I really like when he finds unlikely allies. Everybody he gets along with in Treasure Team Tango, THAT is gold, and I have subscribed to it. I also think it's hilarious when people take it one step further, and have him get along well with Vanilla because he has decided to protect Cream with his life. A NOTP I have with said character: You know, I don't think I've ever seen any Omega ship that has made me reel back. But it's possible I haven't seen a lot of Omega content on the internet. A random headcanon: I think that sometimes Shadow monologues to him at length, and Omega isn't replying, so he asusmes he's listening. Omega is simply recharging his firepower before going to find something to blow up. But he does appreciate it. General Opinion over said character: I .. Absolutely adore omega. He never fails to make me laugh, he's just so... FUN. He genuinely is one of my faves!

[marinerainbow]

Hey! ^^ I hope you're well ^^

I have a Happily N'ever After though to share with you- but of course you don't have to answer ^^

So, I rewatched it last night (and, just- it gives so much joy XD ) and I think I heard Monk refer to Freida as 'a' evil stepmother.

... a.

Not 'the'.

And up until this point I'd been thinking of all the fairytale characters as immortal creatures going through the same story over and over and over again.

But now I'm thinking... maybe reincarnation? Maybe after their Happy Endings (or not so happy endings, for villains) and the last page is flipped closed- the entire board resets. The characters turn to dust or something and new ones (the same characters, just looking a little different. This could explain why fairytale characters are rarely described with more specific features. Just 'beautiful', 'blonde', 'dashing', 'ugly', etc.) start over again at 'Once Upon a Time'. This would explain why no one ever remembers what's already happened (Or *cough* the uprising).

Another interesting thought- imagine if fairytale characters new looks are entirely based on whoever in Our World is telling the story. It's how They imagine them, just with the basic set guidelines I mentioned before.

I dunno if this is anything, if you already realised this or not, but I wanted to share 😅😅😅

I didn't realize this!! This actually helps out a plothole in my own headcannons; if the king and queen passed the throne on to their son, the prince, (which, according to the fan-wiki, a deleted scene reveals that the prince's name was Humperdink. Can you imagine??), then where are they? Were they the original Cinderella and Prince Charming?

With that, I raise you; What if the Fairytale characters' lives depend on either how long they can live, which is why they can still age. Once they are old enough, like the king and queen, they pass on the mantel of their story role befire turning into dust?

Or, leaning more towards what you said, their lives last as long as whoever is telling the story holds their book. For example, a parent telling their child Fairytales for years and years, or a teacher sharing a Fairytale one day for class. And, as you said, each storyteller winds up creating the storybook characters as they envision them? So the Prince could be a dashing, blonde hunk for years and years. Then the next storyteller may make him into a twiggy, redheaded prince for a week or so, etc.

But in that case, what about nobodies like Ricky? Or my OC Lizzie? Do THEY turn to dust?? Are they just figmants of the storytellers imagination to spice up the story (like maybe whoever was telling the Cinderella story in the movie wondered someone else Ella could fall in love with?). Or are they truly immortal?? Does Rick know what's going on because he's served sooo many princes?? What do you think? If you'd like to add to this ^^

I really really REALLY love this observation!!! We have to explore it more!!!

On a more self indulgent note; Imagine that, once it's the wolves' time, their S/O is right there watching them turn to dust? Whether they were trying to prepare for it or not, their S/O clings onto them; begging whoever will listen (the wizard, some God that's higher than him, anybody) to give them just a little more time. They're not ready! Don't take their love away!! But the S/O can only watch as their wolf/wolves crumble to dust, right after they exchange one final kiss or reassurance that everything will be ok in the end.

Sure, their wolf will come back. But what if it's different?? What if he/they don't fall in love with them?? Will he/they even remember them?? Who knows, really?

[xotomesimpx]

The Day His Eyes Changed Pt1

Shigaraki Tomura x Sibling Reader Angst.

(Shigaraki Tomura) Shimaru Tenko x Reader: How Everything Changed

You looked at the news with discomfort every time you saw Tamura on screen it made you grow in disgust. That is not the brother I remembered, his name was never even Tomura. He never once dreamed of actually hurting random people. And he never wanted to become a villain. Anytime you saw his face you can only see yourself stare into the eyes of the being that bastard All for One created.

A long time ago when you were a child you too lost your parent's. Being out on the streets was not strong suit either. So you befriended other local streets kids and adolescence just like you. One of the other kids being Tenko, who was a good four or five years older than you. Both of you grew close but as he started nearing the age of thirteen. He stopped hanging out with you or the children. and his only excuses were "My father will be home soon and he will not be happy seeing me with any of you." Or "Father says i 'Have to train today'" etc etc.

At one point you begged him to leave his father cause of how distraught he would look if he brings him up. You were getting sick of it and told him one day to stay a little longer. Even coaxing him to join you and the other kids to stay with a nice elderly lady nearby. But he denied. "I can't y/n my father-" You cut him off "Your father is a piece of crap all he does is scare you and he never lets you do anything but train! You are still a kid regardless you don't even know what you are training for?" This only led to a few small arguments "He saved me from my old home that is enough for me. And at least i have someone to call father Y/N!"

You both only grew distant until one day he came to your hangout spot where most of the kids hide out. "Hey listen... I know I have not been the greatest to you or any of you. But Father says I am almost done a portion of my training. Once i come back I will be completely different and we can hang out again maybe... Like old times sis?" You and him were not blood related most of the kids in the group weren't but you all acted like you were.

And when Tenko came back he truly was different. "Hey Tenko, the others are setting up a quick game of ball you can join us?" You walked over to him and saw something different radiate from his eyes. He looked at you lost "I don't know who Tenko is kid, I am Tomura... Shigaraki Tomura." You stared in disbelief and shook your head "No. No you're not stop playing around Tenko." You shoved him and he gritted his teeth. "Hey quit it!" He pushed you and you stumbled back.

You sprung back up and used your quirk and punched him as best you could in the face. Hoping your brother would come to his senses. But it only led to a scuffle and kids breaking the fight up and pulling you back. "I can't help it that my dad gave me a special head surgery a few weeks ago! Can you give me a freaking break. Father says "If I don't remember you then it's a waste trying to" He scoffed and turned his heel. And that was the first day you met Shigaraki Tomura.

Nothing stayed the same since then you started to notice you were being targeted by someone. You are not too sure who but you know for a fact that this has Shimaru's "Father" written all over it. As much as you wanted to stay in your own residence and look after the kids with in your area with your Nona who took you in. It was becoming suffocating knowing if you were a target so was the family you formed.

Cutting off the television you let out a sigh and whipped the dripping tear down your face. You hoped no one would come into the common room but a certain person from a far was watching. "Hey y/n, you okay?" Izuku asked from where he stood as he walked over. This only led to other people over hearing and coming over to ease drop and console you. The weight in your chest was so heavey that it made the words slip past your mouth through a light sob. "Shigaraki is my brother..." The room fell silent as everyone stared.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

A/N: Left a little something angsty to dive into the next part of this. Which would be a headcannons/one-shot based on how class 1-A reacts to this situation. I will be doing the main cast mainly then any side characters you want to see in particular let me know. Enjoy!

Also dw I will try and add a sprinkle of awkward or dark humor or something in the next post to pair up with this angst.

[notasiren21]

Avenging Villain!Luka

So idk if this is from the same anon or not-

But it’s the same WIP ask so I’ll just copy and paste it for the second ask in case it’s not. The avenging Luka WIP was the third ask request in my list after the Halloween one and Polaroid Boy which is why this one wasn’t done sooner.

Avenging!Luka (“Villain!Luka”)

——————————————————————————

“Luka, come on, come back to the team.”

“It’s Viperion,” he corrects coldly. “Fucking mangy cat, get the hell out of my sight.”

Chat steps back, stunned by the person Luka has become. He was always a kind person and altruistic. He saw people for who they truly were and could be. He was someone Adrien always wanted to be. Now though-

“We need you! We need Viperion back, we’re nothing without your help.”

“No. You’re nothing without my ability- something I try not to use because of the shit I have to see and remember while you all forget, like it never happened. You know how many of you I’ve seen die? The ways I’ve seen all of you get murdered?” His face is void of expression, cold and analyzing. “And you think I can just solve everything. That’s pathetic. You were smarter than that, weren’t you?”

“This isn’t the same game we’ve always played though! Luka, don’t be like this.” He reaches a hand for his shoulder, only to flinch when it’s slapped away without a hint of remorse on his face.

“Quit calling me that,” he hisses, perfect teeth and its pointed companions baring in a snarl. “You fucked up. You all fucked up and fucked us over. You’re lucky I don’t just kill you now.”

It’s a threat, yeah, and he’s turning his back and walking towards a bed in this ruined hotel he’s claimed for himself. Adrien could leave it alone. He could get the hint and walk away or figure a way to fix everything but-

“We didn’t know,” which was clearly the wrong thing to say because Viperion whips back around and comes to him at a speed that he doesn’t think is fully human, ending up in his face with twisted and pained features. Adrien sucks in a breath, panic and guilt flashing across his features. “We- we didn’t know, we didn’t- Luka, we’re so-“

“Sorry? Sorry? You didn’t know? Gods, if that doesn’t make it all fucking better. I guess I should let it all go huh? Let bygones be bygones, why don’t I? Let’s fucking rejoin forces and go save Paris, yeah?”

He shoves him, hard enough that the cat ends up falling down the short set of stairs that’s still standing and his temple leaks blood from a cut under his mask.

“I fucking asked you- I fucking begged and pleaded for you guys to not do it. I promised whatever you needed of me to not remove her miraculous while she was unconscious, and guess what? You still did it! You gave your bastard of a father exactly what he wanted that the devil himself could be disgusted with you!”

He bends down, swiping up Chat’s baton and dragging it across the railing of the stairs.

“We’re sorry!”

“THAT DOESN’T FUCKING SAVE HER, DOES IT?”

He has only a second to shield his ears and heightened hearing when Luka rams the baton against the railing. He hits with enough force that it starts to bend under the curve of the baton.

“The kwamis screamed not to do it! I screamed and begged for you not to do it! They said how dangerous it was to remove a miraculous from its holder while they’re unconscious and their powers were trying to heal them, and you all went ahead and fucking did it anyways!”

Chat can only scramble away when Luka descends the stairs, a new black and teal suit glinting where the moonlight leaks in the cracks of the destroyed hotel, but he’s not fast enough as his tail is gripped and yanked back.

“You think I never noticed. You think she didn’t either. All of you believe your sins have been absolved just because you’re still trying to protect Paris and satiated your father’s power lust for another day. Like, honestly. You idiots never appreciated her sacrifices or the fact that she let you bully her until she felt like an imposter with the title of team leader. You’re literally nothing without Ladybug, without Marinette. You fucked yourselves over and her.”

“We didn’t! We would never-,”

“You practically beat her to submission!” He cries, hitting the baton close to Chat’s head purposely. “She was fucking human! She’s not invincible, she was far from it. She wanted someone to notice she was suffering. She needed you guys and you all fucking let her down.” He tosses the baton aside, turning his back. “The only reason she’s still alive is because she and I knew something like this could happen someday, that you guys would betray her eventually. It was inevitable. Why do you think she trusted me so much compared to her entire team?

“I lost my sister and mother to them having to flee to the states. Her parents were told to go to London. It’s been her and I from the start. We’re the only ones to care for each other. You all saw me as a lovesick puppy, I fucking knew that. But you all didn’t notice it was just her and I being the only ones to trust and rely on the other because we didn’t think our lives surmounted to anything with the team we had.”

“Luka…”

“Luka isn’t conscious until Marinette is, until you earn them back and help them. Don’t pretend we’re friends just to try and convince me to help you. You’re on your own.”

“Luka!”

“Get the fuck out of here. I’m not responsible for your father and his doings.”

“I’m sorry! Okay!? I’m sorry! We need you!”

“I don’t give a shit about what you need. Why should I when you didn’t care about Marinette? Go tell your team that if you have to, drill it into their thick skulls, I don’t care. They risked Marinette’s life, I’m not inclined to help them. I’d rather kill them than be their savior. Leave before I change my mind and decide to kill you.”

Chat can only glance at Luka as he walks away, watching him walk up the stairs to the bed with her still body lying on top of it. Witness him sit quietly at the edge of the bed and brush hair out of her face with reverence that makes him hope his old self is still there in him, alive and waiting.

“If that bitch Alya threatens to come here because of my refusal, well let her. She’s the one who did this to Marinette, I wouldn’t mind killing her. Eye for an eye, I suppose.” He looks over his shoulder to meet the blond’s stare, the guitarist’s once smiling face that always cheered Marinette up, tear streaked and helpless. “Now, get out of here you bastard child.”

[bakubros-boo-thang]

Disrespected Devil

Wordcount: -4K

Lucifer x F!Reader

Summary: When you disrespect the demon king, Lucifer is forced to say goodbye to you.

Genre: Angst, smutt, slight fluff, but tbh just angst

A/N: So another first. Not only my first time writing for the Obey me fandom (I have a major Obey me brain rot), but also my first time writing angst and I felt depressed after finishing this (which I did a second ago). I love Diavolo, but I needed a reason for the goodbye to happen so even if his dad is the villain, he is the one to execute it... Hope you enjoy this story.

Warning: NSFW, mentioning of being paralyzed I guess.

‘’What’s with Luci today?’’ ‘’He looks more pissed of than usual…’’ ‘’He probably listened to classical music too long and forgot his homework.’’ ‘’Lucifer forgetting his homework will never happen, but if it did he would look like this.’’ Hearing all those whispers during dinner time is nothing new for you. Tonight is different though. You know why he’s mad and you know who’s the blame. But it’s not as if you don’t have a reason to be just as upset. As dinner slowly ends you know there is only a small gap to avoid a situation. ‘’Beel, how about we go bake something for later this evening?’’ You say, as you cling onto the huge redhead. You know that food is a trigger and you know that this is the way to hide from HIM. ‘’Alright, sounds delicious!’’ He doesn’t seem to notice the way you hold onto him for dear life and the same goes for the others. Clearly, they’ve gotten so used to you that it’s not even necessary to be by your side 24/7. It’s not as if they know tonight will be the last time they see you. It’s a small moment of weakness and you feel your heart clench by the thought of leaving those boys. It’s enough to make you lose your grip on Beel's arm. Enough to bend over, because it physically hurts to leave them behind and enough for Lucifer to finally notice you and come to your aid. ‘’Beel, I think she ate something wrong. No cake tonight, I will see her to her room.’’

And with that, he scoops you up and takes you upstairs. Of course, your room is not an option. It’s way too close to the other rooms. No place to yell. No, Lucifer’s room is soundproof. Made for his nights spent with loud classical music and also made for the occasional screaming match with one of his brothers. As he enters the room, he carefully puts you down on his bed. ‘’Are you feeling alright, Y/n?’’ He says as he lays his palm against your forehead. The feeling of sadness is gone, already replaced by nerves. You know what’s coming. You know you won’t hold back. Will this be your last fight with Lucifer? The question never makes it to the surface, because the moment you nod your head in ensurement, Lucifer opens his mouth. ‘’Good, because you have no idea how foolish you acted today.’’  As mentioned before this room reminds you of the occasional screaming matches he must’ve had with his brothers, but never with you. Pissing Lucifer off is easy. You’ve done that plenty of times. Even made him show his true form, but making him scream, that is something you never achieved. Still, it is worth the try. Tonight is your last chance. As you get up you take a look at his face. What faces you is the cold expression he usually shows when he’s done with someone’s bullshit. The expression you have already mirrored back to him. ‘’So you are going to ignore me?’’ I’m not going to answer him. ‘’Are you serious?’’ I am not going to say a word. ‘’Should I spell out what you did?’’ Don’t say a thing. ‘’You just signed your death certificate.’’ His voice cracks and even though it’s far from the scream you aimed for. It’s still the first sign of emotion from the man you care about so much. ‘’Diavolo didn’t seem upset by what I said?!’’ You can’t help but talk louder. especially after being silent for the past few minutes. ‘’ As if he is going to kill me? ME?! And ruin the bonds that are being formed with the humans?’’

You can feel the tears in your eyes, this fight might’ve been about you being disrespectful in some way, but for you it was different. All this time getting closer with all the brothers. All this time loving them. All this time being there for them. It made you realize that the only one who made it difficult was him. With every step getting closer to each other; there were always a few steps back. An obsession with keeping up appearance, an obsession over a promise he would keep no matter what, an obsession with being a stuck-up asshole; That was Lucifer in a nutshell for you. And still, you couldn’t help being drawn to him. As a moth drawn to a flame. Even when the flame could easily kill the moth. Just as easily Lucifer could kill you. And it’s not as if he hadn’t tried that before. ‘’Y/n, You disrespected his father. I had to bargain for you to even leave the castle. The first time I trusted you enough to take you with me alone. And this is how you behave? You know what he wanted to do to Belphegor…’’ You know this story is his weakness. The reason he ended up becoming the lapdog of his so-called best friend. Still, it only makes you more upset to hear him say it. Even when you can hear the slightest hint of emotion in his voice; his eyes stay just as cold as usual. ‘’He is your best friend, isn’t he? He is my friend too, right? You always do this Lucifer! You always get mad over things and it never solves anything. You get mad at me for having fun. You get mad at me for trying to help. You get mad at me for trying to get closer to you. You don’t share things with me! Maybe Diavolo should’ve locked me up. Might as well get myself killed; it’s not as if you never tried to kill me…’’ Your voice is loud as you speak, but his silence is louder. He just stares at you and then it happens.

It’s not that you’re scared you’ve seen his true form before. It’s just as beautiful as him, but it’s also something that happens when he’s full of rage, just as that one time he tried to kill you. You can feel yourself freeze under his gaze. You can feel yourself moving away from him until you reach the headboard of his bed. Still, he moves closer. Until his lips are inches away from your ears. No screams, only whispers; what a way to say goodbye. ‘’DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?!’’ You are so shocked by the volume of his voice, the bass it carries, that it takes some time to realize he has more to say. Your ear is beeping as he moves his lips away and locks his gaze onto you. ‘’DIAVOLO IS NOT THE FUCKING PROBLEM, Y/N, HIS DAD IS. YOU INSULTED THE KING OF DEVILDOM IN FRONT OF HIS SON AND MULTIPLE WITNESSES. DIAVOLO CAN’T DO SHIT ABOUT THAT.’’ Only now do you notice the way his hands are gripping your arms; The way his expression has changed from cold to almost desperate. ‘’That guy has only been able to do what his dad wanted. Our friendship is real, but if his father told him to kill me, he would do it without hesitation. Do you really think he would think twice about killing you? IF HE WOULD KILL ME -HIS BEST FRIEND- IN AN INSTANT?” You notice the tears in his eyes. Lucifer is screaming and crying, but this isn’t a win. Before your heart breaks again, his arms are around you and his face is hidden in your neck, but that doesn’t stop the words. ‘’I had to send you away. I had to be cold. They know I care about you, but not to this extent. I had to pretend it was for the sake of the bonds. After you left I had to beg on my knees for your survival. I had to beg. The avatar of pride begged someone on his knees. It was all Lillith over again…’’

There is nothing you can say to fix this. It might’ve slipped your mind while you were there. But you were surrounded by royalty. What might’ve seemed innocent for you, was clearly a lot for them and now you had to leave everyone you loved behind. You can feel the tears fall from your eyes. “I’m sorry Luci, I truly am.” It won’t help, but it’s the least you can say as you look up into his eyes. He is still in his true form, but even with his wings all spread out, he has never looked more vulnerable. There is a sad smile on his lips as he caresses your cheek. “I know you are, you fool.” He says with no trace of the rage he had before. “ I don't want to leave you all…I don't want to leave you!” You know that you sound like a small child that already knows he lost and that’s exactly what you feel like. “It’s too late for that now, Y/n. Diavolo gave me tonight to say my goodbyes.”  You try to distract yourself by focusing on his raven colored wings. “So that means I can’t say goodbye to the rest…”  The pain is back. Never being a fool with Mammon, never dressing up with Levi, doing make-up with Asmo, reading books with Satan, eating with Beel or sleeping with Belphie.  You can’t help but grab your chest again. “Are you okay?” Lucifer is supporting you within seconds as he asks the question. “No I’m not, but atleast I get to say goodbye to you.”  And as you look up he leans in and gives you a tiny peck on the lips. “I’ve wanted to do that for quite some time.” He lets out. You can’t help but smile as you pull him back towards you. “Let's make it a proper goodbye then.” You whisper as you pull him back to your lips.

It’s not like it’s your first kiss with Lucifer, but it’s the last and that’s what makes it so much more special. It’s the combination of mutual sadness and desperation, the hint of rage still brewing somewhere deep inside the both of you. He knows your body, the way it will arch when he pushes you all the way down onto the bed. The tiny gasps when he starts kissing your neck. The way you look away when he starts kissing all the way down your body. ‘’Please keep looking at me, dear. I want you to see how much I am going to miss you.’’ It’s enough to make your heart flutter, the way he starts to attack your core with his tongue right away. It’s obvious he is in a hurry, but even with all the sadness, it’s the best way there is. You can’t help your moans; You’re lucky his room is soundproof. He’s fast, maybe too fast, but with everything that’s going on, it’s the best you can get. And that’s what it is. The best, because within a few minutes you can feel yourself starting to reach that point. The knot in your stomach tightens. your hands end up in his hair and with one loud moan, you erupt around him.

‘’I know that Mammon claims he was your first… in multiple ways… and not to discredit my brother, but I intend to be your last in all of them.’’  He says as he looks at you while he licks his lips. Him saying those words, the way he just made you lose your mind. It feels good, after all the fighting, teasing, kisses and losses , you’re with the man you love. You don’t want to ruin the mood. You’re really trying, but the moment you hear yourself thinking about loving him, about leaving him, about leaving his brothers, you just break. The tears start to form in your eyes and as you try to wipe them away you feel something on your arms. Lucifer. His eyes are cold again as he moves up to face you. ‘’Don’t hide your tears. I am just as sad.’’ He takes a long look at you, lets out a sign, and lays next to you as he caresses your back. ‘’I don’t want to play the ‘’Who has it worse’’ game, truly, I don’t want to, but in all the years I’ve been in heaven and hell, you’re the first human to have ever make my blood boil. Both from nerves and anger nonetheless, but losing you. Losing the one that made my family whole, the one that makes me feel all these emotions, the one that I love, hurts.’’ You can’t help but raise your brow. when he notices your expression he lets out a laugh.

You feel his hand grab your chin and suddenly your lips are only inches apart. ‘’I know you love me, Y/n. I’ve always known. Falling for you, was what surprised me.’’ You can’t help, but roll your eyes at him. Trying to ignore the way his hand feels on your back. The way it slowly moves it’s way to your hips. ‘’You know I do love all your brothers quite a lot too…’’ You say with all the confidence you have left. ‘’I know you do, but still I am the one that has you laying here. Practically begging for more.’’ He let’s out a chuckle as he pulls you closer. ‘’Let’s end this conversation, there’s not enough time.’’ And with that he’s on top of you. You know there isn’t much time, but when he starts to unbotton his shirt it’s as if time slows down. Of course he notices your looks and can’t help to give you a sly smirk. ‘’Don’t worry your next.’’ Is all he says as he takes his shirt off and starts tugging on yours. After your shirt is taken off he takes a look at your body and all you see is adoration on his face. ‘’I want to see all of you.’’ It makes your body flutter. ‘’You’re absolutely breathtaking.’’ He whispers. All this praise makes you feel weak. You try to grab his face, but as you put your arms up they fall down. You feel weak. Not because of his words, but something else. You see Lucifers expression change, the adorations is switched to concern, then back to concentration and before you know it he scoops you in his arms and makes you straddle him.

He’s looking at you, but not really. Obviously talking to himself. ‘’He wanted to be sure…’’ And as he says it he’s back. Back to giving you a sad smile. ‘’What’s going on?’’ Is all you let out. Is all you can let out, as you feel your body weighing more and more. He notices you getting weaker, making sure your settled between him and the headboard of the bed, before he speaks again. ‘’I think it’s time… Barbatos must’ve cast a spell… something that gave us a time limit. The probably knew it would be hard saying my goodbyes to you. Now I’m forced to make haste, just to make sure you’re safe.’’ You can’t even respond. You can move, but barely and all you can do is watch as Lucifer grabs his shirt. As he moves away from you, you’re sure of it. No this is not the way we’re going to say our goodbyes. It needs to be on our terms. Of course those words never leave your lips, but with all the power you have you reach out to him and as he looks back you let out a: ‘’No...not like this.’’ And maybe it’s the few words you’ve spoken, or the way your arm is trembling from all the power it takes to hold on to him, but he crawls back to you. His face is right above yours and if it’s not your eyes making it obvious what you want, you’re mouth will do. ‘’Take me…’’ It’s not a lot of words, but with the face you’re making and the fact that you guys were just in the middle of it, it doesn’t take much guessing. You can see that he’s thinking about it, obviously worried for you, but you can see his eyes change the moment it clicks.

His wings ar still there and you wished you could touch them, feel them one last time, but you should be lucky by what you can still get.’’I used to be a rebel, so why not know.’’ He laughs quietly before he lays you flat on your back.  ‘’I’m going to take care of you my love, promise me to let me know when it’s too much or when you want to stop.’’ You nod your head and you know that your eyes tell him all he needs to know. How bad you want him, how even when you were able to just talk normally, you would want this goodbye to be said only in silence. His body is hovering over yours, his hand touching your neck, giving you goosebumps. ‘’Does this feel nice?’’ he whispers as his hands move towards your breasts. You can only let out a tiny gasp and that tells him enough. ‘’I wish we had more time…’’ Is all he says as his finger enters your core. The moan that escapes you is loader then the both of you would’ve expected. As he continues to stretch you out with one hand, his other starts to prep his cock. ‘’Wish I could… do that for you.’’ You manage to say. You can’t keep your eyes from him. The way he’s hovering over you. His finger inside of you and the way you can’t do anything except for your stares, moans and gasps. ‘’All I want is to feel you right now, my love.’’

And with that he places the tip right in front of your entrance. He makes sure your faces are only inches apart and as he slowly slides into you, his arms make there way to your sides. He’s holding you as he bottoms out in you and the only thing you can do is let out a long moan. He starts moving slowly, tender, putting all his love in every trust. He’s the only one speaking from time to time. ‘’I love you’s’’ and ‘’You feel so good’ s’’ are filling the room. All that praise, all the love in his eyes. The fact that he’s not only literally hitting all your spots, but also the spots in your mind, is what does it for you. You feel yourself unravel under him. You’re so close, that you start to tear up. Your eyes are filled with tears, mostly because of how good this feels, the fact that you’re making love on stolen time, but also because the time is probably running out soon. Lucifer never increases his speed. When he notices your tears he quickly wipes them away and as his hand caresses your swollen cheek he whispers:  Don’t cry, my love, let us enjoy these last moments.’’ And just as he is about to give you a kiss on the lips you whisper a soft ‘’Love you Lucifer.’’ You notice his eyes being red as well and it’s devastating, but it feels so good. the way he keeps a steady pace has you reaching your peak and these final ‘’I love you’s’’, the final kisses is all you need to feel yourself tightening around him. He’s close too, because the moment he feels you tighten around his cock he gives you one firmer stroke and that’s all he needs to cum inside of you. He falls next to you and quickly takes you in his arms. ‘’I wish we could stay like this forever. I would sell my soul… but I guess in some way my soul has already been sold.’’ And all you can do is give him a sad smile before your eyes close.

Lucifer knew that it was time. You were starting to feel cold, too cold. After putting on some clothes and making sure you were fully clothed, he grabbed the coin Barbatos had given him. ‘’Use this before the time runs out.’’ So he had warned him for the curse. He knew he couldn’t be mad at his friends. He couldn’t be mad at you, he could only blame himself. He had shown his weakness by loving you. But you loved his brothers, loved him, despite all he stood for, without any shame. And even with the way it felt like he was going to lose you forever, it still meant the world he had the honor of getting to know you. The moment the coin was thrown a portal started to form and as he grabbed your cold body the darkness swallowed the two of you. As he opened his eyes he saw nothing, but darkness. It took a few minutes to notice that he was in a room. It must’ve been yours, because he noticed a picture of you next to a bed. He was going to take the picture, he was a rebel after all. As he tucked you in, he was at a loss for words. So all he could do was give you one last kiss on the forehead. Not being able to stop the tears falling from his eyes. ‘’Goodbye, my love…’’ and as the darkness was about to swallow him, he couldn’t help but leave one more thing behind. A raven feather, just for good measure. Returning to the Devildom was going to be almost as hard as leaving you here. He was once again going to be the villain in yet another story… the story of how he lost you.

You wake up to sunlight. Too much of it. Why aren’t your curtains closed? Wait, you have to get out of bed, it’s your turn to cook for everyone. Everyone? You live by yourself… right? It feels like you had a weird dream, but you can’t remember it. All you feel is sadness. As if you’ve lost something or someone important. The pain hits you so hard that the moment you try to stand your legs give out and you lay on the ground as tears fill your eyes. It hurts, but you don’t know why. As your hands try to find some grip to get up, you feel something soft. A feather. A raven black feather. It’s weird, but it feels comforting. Before you can help yourself, your lips are already on it and even when you should be grossed out by it, you plan to cherish the little trinket...

[linkspooky]

Who is it who really needs saving? 

is the question Dabi asked when Tokoyami came to rescue Hawks in the middle of the raid war arc. Dabi asks this question just after Hawks stabbed twice in the back with the justification that it would save people, despite the fact that Twice was also a victim too, and also someone in need of saving. Dabi’s question is especially poignant because it asks who is hero society invested in saving, a question that is repeated by Twice who believes Hero Society only saves the good victims, and Himiko as well who asks if Heroes save people, then was Twice not a person. 

I bring this up because chapter 299/300 end on another parallel between Dabi and Hawks. Both of them have their backs being shown, however, Hawks is already healing due to the nature of his quirk, whereas the permanent burns on Dabi’s skin has already gotten worse. Hawks and Dabi also have opposite goals at this point, Hawks to support Endeavor, and Dabi’s ultimate goal is to bring him down. However, Rei’s words over Endeavor’s panel add another layer of complication to this. “Those regrets and guilt, the rest of those have borne that burden much more than you have.” Endeavor is suffering, but he’s not the one most in need of saving. I believe next chapter rightly, Rei is going to point out that the ones most in need of saving are the ones who suffered the most because of Endeavor’s actions. Endeavor was never the one in need of saving, and in need of redemption in the first place, rather it was Dabi. 

1. Started From the Bottom Now We’re Even Lower

Hawks and Dabi are seeming opposites even from their origin points. Hawks was born in a poor household the son to a minor villain, Touya a rich household the son of the number two hero. Hawks family name basically means nothing to the point where the hero commission easily erased it, whereas Dabi’s family name has dominated his entire life. Touya from a young age was given everything he needed to become a hero and his father even encouraged him, while Hawks was on the run from the law and couldn’t even leave his small house without getting yelled at. 

At first, Hawks was born with a quirk that both of his parents disapproved of as they constantly asked him what his wings were even for, and seemed disgusted by his mutation. While at the same time, Touya was born with a quirk that his father was happy with, a fire quirk even stronger than his own which Enji thought gave him enough of a potential that he didn’t need to worry about finding an ideal hybrid quirk. He could pass all his techniques onto his firstborn son who seemed eager to learn. 

The only real similarity between both of them was that for both children, Endeavor was clearly their favorite hero. Touya was eager to please his father and train with him in order to inherit his hero techniques, and when Endeavor captured Hawks father, it convinced Hawks that heroes were real. 

However, both of them experienced a sudden reversal of fate. This is where circumstances for both of them flipped. Touya’s quirk was in fact revealed to be a very harmful hybridization of his parents two quirks, he inherited his father’s flames but even hotter, while at the same time inheriting Rei’s sensitivity to fire which made th overheating flaw even worse on him causing his quirk to deliberately harm his body. Hawks however, is an ideali hybridization of both of his parents quirks. His mother Tomie has a quirk that creates eyeballs and seems ideal for searching, watching and locating things, while his father’s feather quirks on his arms that could sharpen into blades turned into wings on his back that were both capable of searching and detection like his mother’s eyeballs and sharpening into blades like his father’s. 

At first it seems destined that Touya was ging to become a hero, while Hawks had no hope for him, but because of the nature of their quirks the opposite happened. When Hawks was young he was able to save a busload of people from crashing which got him recruited by the hero commission. While it’s implied that Touya kept trying to train on his own even after Endeavor stopped the training and abandoned him in favor of Shoto, and because of that Touya had his training accident at Sekoto peek and burned to death. 

Dabi and Hawks are seeming opposites, but they’re actually quite similar if you think about it. Both of them grew up in abusive households that are intentionally paralleled, they have controlling and physically violent fathers, and mothers who are coded as mentally ill, Tomie was unfit to take care of a child, and Rei was eventually pushed to a breaking point where she was unable to anymore and then forcibly separated and institutionalized by her husband. Both, also experienced a separation from their mother, Rei was hospitalized around the time Toya finally died, and the Hero Commission promised Tomie support if she cut all ties from him. Both of them also dreamed of becoming heroes, and tried their best to, even Touya after his father rejected him kept training on their own. 

The only difference between them is circumstances, Hawks was saved because he was born with a useful quirk, Touya despite his father being the number two hero was never saved. 

2. We’re the Heroes, Who Don’t Do Anything

In fact it’s implied that Enji intentionally looked away and forced himself to forget Touya’s suffering. For instance, the first time Touya trains with Enji he’s shown wearing a sleeveless shirt. Every time after that, Touya has long jacket sleeves on. When he’s crying to Natsuo, when he’s pulling out his hair, and the last memory from before his death, every time Touya is shown hiding his arms. We also know that Dabi, has burns that go all the way up his arms which is exactly where his flames emerge from. It’s also the place where Touya burns himself when Enji remembers training with him for the first time. 

It’s likely that Touya was walking around with burns up his arms from the training he was inflicting on himself, and Enji simply didn’t notice because his unreliable narrator status, he forgets everything he has done to other members of his family, or intentionally downplays the severity of it in order to avoid the guilt and consequences of his actions. Hence why he can say things like “I never meant to neglect you” to Natsuo, when we saw him call Natsuo and the others failures from Shoto’s perspective, because in Enji’s perspective he’s just a good father who went wrong somewhere along the line, whereas from Natsuo’s perspective he never really acted like a father towards him at all.

Enji only ever sees his own intentions, and not the impact his actions had on others. He only saw his heroic ambitions, and not the way he taught Touya that his only value was his quirk, and then completely tossed him aside as a failure and ignored all his suffering when Touya kept trying to get his attention. That he intentionally neglected Touya until either an accident or a suicide claimed his life. 

Either way it’s a running theme that Endeavor hesitates when it comes to saving his own sons. Despite seeing himself as both a hero and a father, he completely fails in both roles to them. 

He froze when it came time to save Natsuo from Ending, and the second time when Shoto was begging Endeavor for help against Dabi, Endeavor chose not to do a single thing. In fact the only thing that moved him was Deku’s pep talk that exclusively stoked his ego and called him a good mentor, which caused Endeavor to finally move into action. 

Endeavor is a hero in name who has no interest in directly saving others, because his number one priority has always been to stand at the number one spot and feel like he’s accomplished something. He didn’t notice Touya was most likely continuing the training on his own, and was spiraling that badly until after Touya had died, and even after that happened he still continued the training with Shoto like nothing happened, even mentioning that Touya was a small mistake. 

When the wounds from Touya’s death were still fresh, it seemed like barely anything more than an afterthought to him. There are some people who even theorize that Enji only believed Touya was always alive because he had never truly faced the guilt of Touya’s death and his role in it, that it was a comfort to him to believe his son was still secretly alive out there. 

The signs were obvious that Touya was spiraling, but he was neglected so much that Endeavor the number two hero who prides himself on most cases resolved didn’t notice what was going wrong with his son until he literally burned himself alive, and even then that wasn’t enough to stop him from mistreating his other son and forcing him into painful training. 

Touya’s neglect is as much abuse as Shoto’s favoritism and training, that’s the point of the golden child / scapegoat dynamic, they are both being abused. Enji was the only parent in the household, and if his kid was burning himself, and injuring himself all the time and it got to the point where the child literally died because of a lack of adult supervision, Enji could be prosecuted for manslaughter in a court of law. There are cases where adults just, do absolutely nothing for their kids, and those kids sometimes die of neglect, starvation, because of their parents completely failing to take care of them. It’s just as sinister a form of abuse as physical abuse. In both cases a child’s needs aren’t being provided for by their parents. 

Dabi is someone who could have been easily saved by his father paying attention to him, and should have been saved by the man who prides himself as the number two hero, but he was left to rot. This is a running theme with Endeavor, he’s a hero who continually fails to save his family. 

Dabi’s situation is also a metaphor for hero society at large. Who are the types of people that Hero Society prefers to save? Those who are useful to it like Hawks. It intentionally turns a blind eye to cases like Touya, Tenko  or Twice. If Touya did have burns on his arms from training but was able to cover them up just by wearing long sleeves, and Natsuo was the only one who knew then that goes even further to explain Dabi’s specific obsession with discrediting Endeavor.

If Dabi’s father had just acted like a hero, or acted like a father then he would have been saved. If Dabi’s father had noticed the person most in need of saving was right next to him, the incident where he burned to death never would have happened. Which is why Dabi’s grudge is specifically against heroes who do not act like heroes. Heroes who, cannot save anyone because they are too self involved to perform the duty of saving. He shares Stain’s obsession with ideologically pure heroes, that only heroes who put saving others selflessly over everything else should be allowed to exist and the rest are pretenders to the title.

Notice how Dabi pulls on the scars on his face when begging the people to think about this, about who should really be allowed to call themselves heroes. 

Dabi’s entire arc revolves around this question. Who are the real victims? Who are the ones that really need to be saved? Dabi is a character of mystery and subversion who is constantly hiding his real feelings. 

Dabi is commented on being heartless about Twice’s death, but his actions contradict his words. Dabi goes out of his way trying to avenge Twice even after it’s already too late to save him, even burning up his own body to do so. He tried so hard we see literally there are new scars growing on his back the next time we see him Post-War Arc. 

I’d also like to bring up that while Hawks accuses Dabi of feeling nothing about Twice’s death, Hawks is the one who killed him, and who after the fact shows no regret in his actions because he’s completely justified it to himself. He even remembers Twice like he’s some kind of old friend he took inspiration from, and not a person he manipulated into trusting him then killed. My point is it’s a reversal, Hawks is set up as the one who cares about Twice as a friend, but really was only using him. Dabi claims he was only using him, but he’s the one who showed an actual emotional reaction to Twice’s death and made an effort to save him. 

If I were to say this is one more point of foiling between Dabi and Hawks. They both don’t see themselves as victims and because of that they deny the victimhood of the other. 

Dabi accuses Hawks of becoming a murderer because his father was a murderer. Hawks when he learns the truth about Enji, takes Enji’s side over Dabi’s, believing Endeavor being the true victim in need of help in that situation. This is because Dabi and Hawks both deny their own victimhood, and they project that on each other. Dabi denies his victimhood and pretends to be the villain instead, he’s the villain who is going to take down Endeavor and therefore he’s not suffering. Hawks denies his own victimhood and his abusive past and pretends to be a hero, he’s helping Endeavor become a better hero, so therefore all the abuse Endeavor committed is in the past so therefore he doesn’t have to think about it. Both deny themselves and therefore deny any similarity in one another. 

They’re also two people fatally wrapped up in their own circumstances they turn a blind eye to the suffering of others. Dabi assumes that Shoto is “good” and therefore, must have been raised with love and had it better than him and was raised with love. Whereas Hawks assumes that Twice is “good”, and therefore worthy of saving because he helps other people. In both cases, neither Dabi nor Hawks really understand Shoto or Twice, they’re just judging them by their own projected standards. Dabi only understands his childhood as Touya desperately trying to work for Enji’s attention, so Shoto who had Enji’s attention must have had it good. Hawks was saved because of the bus accident where he saved people as a hero, so obviously it makes sense he reach out to try to save another good person who just had bad luck. 

Despite the fact that both of them are pretty much emotionally dead and in deep denial of their true feelings. 

Dabi has also made a show of how little he cares about Natsuo, while at the same time his most famous line from the pro hero arc is “overthought things and snapped...” 

Dabi is also the only one who notices it’s dangerous to bring Tokoyami onto a battlefield. This is when he asks the question, who is it who needs saving. 

We learn at around the same time, the hope from the Pro Hero arc was intentionally a set up by Dabi to bring Endeavor down, and show everyone eventually that Endeavor hadn’t truly changed. 

These are all small details yes, but keep in mind we’ve really only gotten crumbs of Dabi’s characterization so far because his perspective is one that has deliberately been kept from us. We see his past through almost everyone else’s eyes but his own - because so far the focus has been on Endeavor.

Just like Dabi set up Endeavor’s earlier success only to bring him down, this might also lead to a reversal in the narratives. In 299, Hawks believed Endeavor to be the one in need of help. We are also as an audience set up to believe that the narrative arc will focus around Endeavor’s redemption. This is before the series revealed the circumstances of his son. 

However, Endeavor and Dabi are literal opposites. They’re inversions of each other. Dabi pretends he doesn’t care any more for his family and will go out of his way to hurt them, that all he cares about is revenge, but at the same his ideals are heroic. In his actions and ideals he’s the one calling for a better society. Dabi is the most independent and distant from the league it’s true, and so far he’s denied their friendship, but at the same time it’s Dabi who is the most idealistic of the league. Shigaraki wants to destroy the current society, Himiko wants a society that’s easier on her, but it’s Dabi who has the ideals for a society he wants, one where heroes are held to standards and act like Heroes. It’s dabi better than anyone else who makes the standards for mass appeal. Because, deep down Dabi still has heroic aspirations and drive even if it comes from Stain of all people he’s inspired by. He has some sort of ideals, a world he’s trying to create.

Whereas, Endeavor doesn’t have any heroic ideals at all. His idea of being a hero has always centered around fame, status and the ranking of number one. He’s a hero unconcerned with saving people, only defeating villains to prove his strength. Endeavor presents himself outwardly as someone who is trying to do what’s best for his family, and working towards being the best hero he can be but his intentions are revealed to be selfish, at the same time as Enji’s narration is revealed as unreliable. It may have been set up for an inversion all along, with the setup being that Enji is the one who needed to redeem himself, when Dabi was pushed to the background. Around this time Rei also tried to reassure others, that he was trying to carry his regrets with him. 

However, as soon as Touya’s identity is revealed, Rei’s stance reverses. Now she properly calls out that, Enji hasn’t been carrying his regrets at al.. Instead, he’s been forcing his family to carry the burden of it while he gets to go play hero in front of the public. 

As soon as Touya is revealed to be alive, it’s not Enji who is the center and focus of conversation but rather Touya. In 299, Hawks believes that it’s Endeavor whose in need of saving, but we’re shown that Endeavor only really seems to pity himself in this situation. 

It’s Rei who shows up to remind us, who really is in need of saving in this situation. Not Endeavor but rather those who have been burned the most by Endeavor’s actions. 

Which may be the ultimate parallel between Hawks and Dabi as well, Hawks can’t see himself as a victim so he can’t realize who the victims who need his help the most is. Whereas, Dabi in the future may receive the change of heart he needs to reopen his heart again and accept others, and therefore learn to accept himself. Dabi is set up for a reconciliation between his two selves, Touya the victim and Dabi the villain. While ultimately, Hawks will intentionally turn his back on Keigo the victim, because he can only ever see himself as a hero.

 I’m not suggesting that Dabi is good or Hawks is bad, or the other way around, not something as simple as that but that Dabi is open to change, and this will lead to him eventually opening up to others. Whereas, Hawks who is given practically every opportunity to change, and even escapes killing Twice with no permanent consequences, (his wings are growing back, and he even is freed from the hero commission) chooses to support Endeavor once again. It’s Dabi who calls others to think and reevaluate, and is actively trying to create a change in the world, whereas Hawks only interest is protecting other heroes and not the victims that heroes themselves create. Because in his mind heroes are good and that fact will never change. 

Because Dabi is the one trying to create change, while Hawks continues to cling to Endeavor I believe we’ll eventually receive a reversal for both of them. Just as the narrative around Dabi has changed from irredeemable villain to person in need of saving, we may see exactly what was foreshadowed in this panel happening. Dabi walking towards the light, while Hawks falls further and further into the shadows - because it’s Dabi who is looking for that light, while Hawks chooses to remain in the dark. Hawks was saved once, and now he believes that everyone who is good gets saved, unless they are unlucky like Twice. It’s Dabi who knows the truth, that there are heroes who don’t save people, and it’s Dabi who is at least trying to confront that truth head on and change it rather than just ignoring it. 

In a way Hawks is someone who has gone blind from looking too closely at Endeavor’s light, whereas because Dabi was failed by Endeavor and fell into the shadows he at least knows the truth about what it’s like for those who don’t get saved, and unlike Hawks can’t keep deluding himself that this is a world where everyone who deserves it gets saved. 

[boldlygowhereitsbiggerinside]

Hey so I wrote about something incredibly personal, and I want to share it but don't have a good place to do so. So I'm going to do it here under the cut. Please feel free to keep on scrolling and trigger warning for depression and an attempt of suicide!

This is the true story of how I lived 🙂

The Story of How I Lived

It was Spring 2021, and I was feeling pretty depressed so Nathan (my spouse) suggested we go to the movies. We loved going to the movies so much we had that AMC movie pass that let you see three movies a week for $20.

We decided to see Chaos Walking. I was already feeling a little better just being out of the house. I handed Nathan my phone and my wallet when we were instructed to turn off all of our devices as they tended to fall out of my pockets. The movie was fairly engaging, and I was able to forget my troubles somewhat. There was a small, cute dog in the movie that reminded me of my own. I was trying to prepare myself for the dog dying some sort of tragic, but heroic, death. That is not what happens though. The villain grabs the dog and drowns it purely out of cold-blooded spite.

I'd had it. Life is awful and so is everything else. I stood up, took my phone from Nathan, and told him I'd wait for him outside. I heard someone chuckle at me as I left, but I truly didn't care at that point.

I went outside by the back exit we always take as it is closer to our car. As soon as the door closed behind me, I began a dark, dangerous spiral. I sat on the cement steps and failed to hold back tears.

I couldn't sit in the car or even drive anywhere as Nathan had the keys.

I couldn't walk far as I had a boot on my foot from a stress fracture.

I couldn't call Nathan as he always turns his phone off at the movies.

I couldn't go back in the exit as the door locks behind you.

I couldn't go back in the entrance as I didn't have my wallet and they required photo identification with our movie pass plus my ticket had already been scanned.

This was it. There was nothing left to do. It was time to die. Finally.

I didn't want to be alone, so I called my mom. I did feel a bit selfish for making her go through this with me, but what did it matter? I was going to be dead in a few minutes anyway. And she was my mom. She'd understand.

As I spoke to my mom I looked around for something to end my life with. She begged me to tell her where I was, but I honestly didn't know. I was in the back parking lot of an AMC near my house. That's all I've got. There was no one around and there was no chance she could come get me. She lived too far away. There was also no way she was going to be able to locate me and get an ambulance here in time. I spied a pointy rock and drew my finger along the edge to test its sharpness.

Not sharp enough.

A couple came out of the door, but I knew I wouldn't be fast enough to catch it so I just hid my face in shame until they'd gone. They didn't seem to notice me much at all. They certainly had no idea I was about to take my own life.

My mom continued to beg me not to do whatever it was I was planning to do. I apologized but made no effort to stop. I spied a discarded Sprite can. Now I have cut myself on a soda can on accident before. Surely that would work!

I took the rock and used it to cut open the can, revealing a sharp, jagged edge. I took a few steadying breaths. I had to make sure this worked. I would cut a long, vertical line down my left arm. None of this slitting my wrist horizontally nonsense. I wanted to bleed as much and as fast as possible. I had to make sure the cut was deep. It was probably going to hurt, but if it wasn't deep enough, I might live. And who knows what was on this nasty, old can. I definitely didn't want to live and lose my arm to infection.

As I prepared myself mentally to ignore the pain I was about to inflict, someone else came out the door. I would have to wait until they left. Can't have a random stranger stopping me now can I? It shouldn't take long though. The parking lot was obscured by the building a bit. They'd only have to walk for a few seconds until I'd be alone enough again. I'd just make sure to be quiet in case they can hear me from over there. The person stopped next to me.

It was Nathan.

Nathan whose phone was off.

I knew that he sure as hell wasn't going to just stand there while I went through with my plan. He'd either physically stop me or call an ambulance in plenty of time. I certainly didn't need or want the amount of attention that would bring. I handed him my phone in defeat, and he talked to my mom. He assured her I was safe and he'd take me to get professional help. I went willingly to what would be my third 72 hour psych hold.

It turns out that at the exact moment Nathan went to turn off his phone, I handed him mine, interrupting his automatic action and causing him to put both phones in his pocket without turning his off. Unbeknownst to me, my mom had her husband call Nathan while she kept me talking to her.

And by that total fluke, I am alive today.

[yandere-wishes]

MONSTERS

👹 Yandere Ryomen Sukuna x Reader

👹Summary: Monsters aren’t born they're made, but Sukuna stumbles across the rare exception...

👹Warning: dehumanization, mention of gore, blood, slight dub-con mentioned in passing, death, past trauma, and abuse

👹 Edited: By the lovely @tealyjade-libran !

👹 Wordcount: 2,480

👹Alternative Tittle : If Roxanne ( from the Police song) lived in ancient Japan.

👹First Jujutsu kaisen fic! I hope you guys like it, please let me know your thoughts! Likes and reblogs appreciated!

Monsters were made. 

Slowly created as once blazing ideals, withered and died under harsh strokes of reality. Stitched together with broken promises and the ashes of rotting memories. 

Monsters were made

whisked into a role they once dreaded, once feared. Beaten into the role of the villain, the reprobate, the sinner. 

If anyone ever asked Sukuna when was the exact moment he turned his back on the laws of "good" and "evil", shedding his human skin to regrow a pelt of hate and destruction,

He would simply answer, "Never".

Because skin is skin no matter how much it decays. Even if the epidermis turns into a rotting orange shade, littered with eyeballs and teeth that shouldn't grow there.Even if the blood from all those he's slain has finally stained his dermis, tainting it in a permanent crimson that all the waters of Lake Biwa could never wash off. Even if his hypodermis is no longer made of fatty tissue but rather spiritual energy sucked from the atmosphere. It's still skin, the same old skin he was born with.

Sukuna had never shed his skin, he'd only perfected it, enhanced it, molded it into its perfect form, until he was no longer held back by foolish human limitations.

He'd never been "reborn" only recreated; only perfected. 

Spike, talon and teeth covered arms sprouting from oozing, bleeding scars, charred over by begriming infections that burned worse than the strikes he'd endured as a child. Knuckles and bones cracking over and over and over again until they grew as solid as the rocks that were thrown at him when he was all too little to understand the malice behind the insults and threats. Breaking until they could break no more, until they'd become strong enough to split a boulder with a mere flick.

There had come a time when he'd given up licking his wounds, leaving them to be kissed by the mold-covered worms who left an urticating sensation he'd soon come to associate with victory. Rotting flesh growing covered in thick layers of black tar tattoos that hid every cut he'd endured when he'd once been too weak. 

Monsters were created from quarter truths buried neck-deep in fables that snipped like red-eyed scorpions. 

Until the blood dancing through their veins was as black as the void they now called home. 

Sukuna knew the exact moment he realized he was a monster. The day he realized he liked the crunch of skulls beneath his feet, the pitiful spark in mortified eyes staring at the heavens for a scrap of mercy. Mangled mouths barely held together by fractured jaw bones, uttering prayers and pleas that died in the scorching air. 

Sukuna knew he was an abnormality, patched together by broken heirlooms and shattered family traditions. Sitting on a throne made from skulls of those who thought they could ever kill him. 

You can't kill a monster, for you can not kill that which was never born. 

You can't slay something made from good intentions with malevolent methods, something so vile that it might actually be pure. At the end of the day, no monster really admits that it is a monster, a nightmare that should have never existed. 

Yet...

Tattered hearts and cruel orbs are never quite enough. No monster is complete until they dive off that last edge, plummet into the sea of nothingness, and finally, finally break their souls on the spiked soil. Monsters, spirits, curses any malicious being that had been mended together like a half-done ragdoll was not complete until they truly let go. Until they erased all the former humanity that they had been born with. Until their eyes reflected nothing, no emotions, no malice, no want, no need. Just the absolute emptiness. 

The void in all its glory.

that was the symbol, the true markings of a real monstrosity. The void that took over their existence, that had replaced every inch of their former self. Only then could it be said that you were above all other beings, the true perfection of this world. 

There are worse things created than monsters, things that are made from nothing and everything. Things above "Yin" and "Yang". Things that have no scrap of humanity, monstrosity, or anything in them.

Things that are just empty.

So maybe -just maybe- that's why when Sukuna's rotting orange eyes landed on the epitome of emptiness, a...girl, whose face was sculpted to disreflect emotions and intents. Someone who was the void of darkness itself. The true personification of nothingness. 

His heart -for the first time in countless centuries- began to throb.

a truly dead face swarmed by a sea of buzzing ants, chasing their routine happiness. Smiles of delight and carelessness carved on their aging faces with sunlight knives and the melody of golden coins. The lust for life leaking from every pore of their bodies. 

With every face being a carbon copy of each other it was no wonder yours stood out.

There was a silver chain of attraction, dragging Sukuna towards the village girl. Not love, never love, the king of curses was beyond certain, that neither you nor he could feel such a honey-laced sensation. It was more like....something. Something paranormal, inexpiable. Some magnetic force outside of everything's control. 

It was easy enough to explain why he liked you. Why you stood out from the other insects of this middle-of-nowhere-village. 

You had dark matter for blood and dead seas for brains. 

Your eyes radiated an endless abyss. Making others shy away from your lifeless gaze. Scared to look into the void in fear that it may respond. 

You were a thrown away doll,

A living dead,

A dying star,

You were the daughter of the number zero,

The monster that had no maker nor mother. 

Something not born nor created. 

Just an entity that roamed the earth, with no desire nor hope, no wish nor dream. Not leaving, not dying, just existing in the space between today and tomorrow. 

There'd been no need for pleasantries, for hiding behind ghostly tree branches and frozen windows. There'd been no need to kill or ravage for you. No competition to eliminate, because no one ever came near you. Humans don't like what they can't explain, Sukuna knew that all too well. 

Sukuna watched from a close enough distance to almost touch. Lingering around like a phantom begging to be noticed. Orbs trailing over you, but never approaching. Until one day he'd just stood still. Waited for you to turn your head just a fraction to the left, just to see him in all his menacing terror. To finally notice the clawing, crawling sensation that had been creeping up your spine like a hoard of spiders. 

And when your dead eyes did finally land on him. Sukuna could swear that his breath hitched in his throat for the first time in his seemingly endless life.

You weren't human. Humans didn't have hollow faces or marbles for lips. 

You weren't a curse. Curses didn't lack venom dripping from their souls.

You were something better than a monster. You were the divinity of monstrosity, the void itself. Black holes for eyes, answerless paradoxes for hands, and an endless maze where your torso should have been. 

 Exploding suns danced around you, burning, burning, till they died out, leaving behind no trace that they once lit up the universe. 

The space after the end, that's what you were.

Perfect, to Sukuna you were perfect.

You hadn't run, hadn't screamed, hadn't even bothered to talk. You didn't care about him, couldn't care about him. That's what made him want you, made his mouth salivate with the thought of your flesh between his teeth. 

That night the world stood still, as Sukuna's claws penetrated your flesh like twirling needles. You were as light as a feather. You weighed nothing, were nothing. All so easy to pluck and throw about. You never made a noise when your body collided with the bamboo walls, just letting gravity and Sukuna play a twisted ball game with your lump of a body.

You hadn't protested when he violated you. As his lips bit every inch of your body raw. For some unearthly reason that even the gods couldn't understand, would never want to understand, you had found the Curse's violent actions rather...adoring. Taking every slap and slash with the earnest pride of a small child getting praised for a day of relentless chores. letting the dawn-tinted-haired monster adorn your body in blue and purple jewels. It felt right, in a  pathetically, nauseating, twisted way...it just felt right.

 It was disastrous, sure, but it was right. Like two universes crashing. Destroying each other with every kiss and every bruise. 

But...

For the first time in your meaningless life, you had truly understood what "happiness" felt like. 

For the first time in his endless life, Sukuna had truly understood what "intimacy" felt like.

///

Was it wrong to kiss you? For a fraction of a second Sukuna hesitated, blood tinged lips hovering millimeters away from your own stone-set ones. The moon's cursed rays acting like an unnoticed barrier, keeping two things out of each other's grasp. His lips curled back revealing two rows of knife-like teeth. The last resort, a final hope that you'd run away, that you'd act somewhat normal. The king of curses, the evil among men, didn't mind your lack of regularity. He didn't mind how you leaned into every bitter strike, every painful display of fading affection . He adored how you merely giggled as he slashed open your uncharged skin, creating slits for your blood to spill through, onto his waiting tongue. He admired your lifelessness, the way you radiated death. 

Oh, how you filled him with a startling aftershock every time he touched you. Every time his tongue lapped at your bleeding skin he'd feel the sort of electric shocks that came after the storms had passed. Your body had no shape, it molded to his touch, turning his favorite shades of red, with just a little pressure. 

But sometimes, in fleeting, endless seconds. He wished he had a name for what you two were. You weren't his per se, you could never be his. Being his would indicate that he cared about you, or heck even loved you and that could never be true. The king of curses did not love, nor care. He merely tolerated you; you fascinated him, that's all. 

It had been many moons since he first found you in that no-name village. Months upon months since you'd been by his side. You'd watched as he'd destroyed cities, helped him even. Eyes never shedding a single tear. Mouth never uttering a single protest. 

The two of you had become the best, the King of curses and the Queen of nothingness. With the dying speed of laboring bees, Sukuna had carved himself inside of you. Twisted emptiness into flower-covered destruction. Into molten gold lava. 

Leaving you with wounds that were stuck in a cycle of healing and opening. Until they began to harden like his. Until the need for spilled blood lingered on your tongue like the burn of boiled tea. Until under your nails were coated in a decaying crust of dried blood. Sukuna hadn't turned you into a monster, he'd simply showed you the powers that came with your apathy. With a heart as torn and cold as yours, it was a shame to let it go to waste. 

"You're not half bad," his tone is never approving. It's always laced with a strictness that keeps you nailed into place. His words are oxymorons sounding like praise, but once you peel back the lather layers they're just taunts in disguise. 

You don't answer, words die on your tongue as quickly as they are born. Sukuna can't even remember what your voice sounds like outside of small whispers in heat filled nights. 

 However, to the two of you, things like that didn't matter. Your lack of being even semi-alive and Sukuna's endless abuse had become a norm for the two of you. Where else were a two-faced monster and a lifeless girl going to find love anyway? 

Sukuna was all you had, all you ever had. You'd die for him, kill for him, turn into anything for him. Because he gave you life. 

A purpose to life, made out of raging fires and endless screams. A life fabricated from the pain and suffering of others. That was what the king of curses had given you, all wrapped in a human skin parchment. Maybe that's why all logic withered away the first night he kissed you, maybe from the first second that you sensed his presence you had finally gained a reason to be alive. 

///

Whoever said the end of the world was beautiful? Whoever said the final days would be bright and glowing and pure? 

It's just a blaze of stray flames and red crystal droplets that may or may not be your blood. Funny, Sukuna had always thought that your blood would be as black as the moonless sky, not a mundane red like everyone else's. He'd expected a grander death from you. Some sort of black hole opening to swallow the world whole. Not just another corpse motionless in a pool of their own blood. 

Although he's not one to talk. His own 'death' is lingering on the horizon. Sukuna's head tilts back looking for the flashing jujutsu sorcerers. 

"S-sukun-a..." 

He smirks, fangs sticking out at odd angles. Your voice is sweet, for the first time in forever he'd even dare say it held some semblance of emotion. 

What that emotion is, he doubts he knows or even really cares. He'd long since stopped trying to identify all those "feelings" and their associated names. 

His orange eyes lock with your fading orbs, one last time. No, not the last time, just the final time in this lifetime. He's sure he's going to see you again. In any other life, Sukuna knows he'll be able to recognize you despite whatever flesh suit you'd be wearing. 

"Shh little one," he's halfway gone before he finishes his sentence, leaving you to relish in his memory in your final moments. "We'll see each other once more, someday in another life..."

His four eyes lock on the approaching sorcerers. He finds it humorous how desperate they look. How alive and ready they seem, such a stark contrast to your ever lifeless face and dead eyes, it repulses him. 

"Or maybe in one of the circles of hell." 

The flames encircling his fingers remind him of the heat your body radiated in the dead of night. The crack from bones hum as they meet his knuckles, flash memories of your days wasted together doing nothing and everything. 

The two of you will meet once more, he's sure of it. After all...

Monsters never die. 

How could something that was never even born in the first place, ever die?

[jaynerose]

The Stars (P.2)

(Here is part one, thanks to everyone for the support! @innerwinnerlove here is a part two, I wasn’t originally going to continue this but thought I’d give it a shot. A bit of backstory to the current situation.)

~Ten Years Ago~

The smell of warm bread was the only thing anchoring Hero to the earth beneath her.

Villain had managed to snatch a loaf from the bakery and they were currently enjoying their prize in a more hidden part of the forest. 

“Thank the gods, I thought I was going to have to eat grass if I didn’t eat something soon.” Hero murmured between mouthfuls.

Villain snorted, “Forget the gods, they didn’t have anything to do about it.” 

“Don’t say that, they could be out there, watching us.”

“Watching a couple of dirt covered, rat-haired, kids? I doubt it.”

Hero raised a hand to her head self-consciously. “I don’t know, I like to think something or someone is looking out for me.” 

“Yeah, that someone is me.” Villain’s face broke into a mischievous smile, “Does that make me a god?”

“I think it just makes you my friend.” Hero replied fondly.

Hero loved it when Villain smiled. It was rare, so being the cause of it felt special. 

“Can you promise me something?” Hero asked.

“Uh-oh, you’ve got that look in your eyes,” Villain mocked, “What is it? You want pie next time?”

“No! I just- you know what, forget it.”

Villain just laughed and crept a bit closer, “It’s too late now, you have to tell me. Come on, Hero. What is it?”

Hero mentally cursed at herself. 

“Alright fine, it’s just that I’d like you to promise me that we’ll stick together, no matter what.”

“Oh.”

“I know that’s a lot, it’s just after Lily disappeared, I’m worried-”

“I promise.”

Hero was a bit taken aback. “Really?”

Villain looked back down at the last bit of his bread and shrugged. “Of course.”

~Five Years Ago~

Hero had held onto that promise, held onto Villain. 

It wasn’t until Villain had gotten caught by the royal guard, stealing something he shouldn’t have, that they were separated. It was one of the most stressful weeks of Hero’s life. She didn’t sleep, she mostly blamed herself and patrolled the streets, looking for any sign of her friend. That familiar smile. 

She had barely enough time to catch a breath of relief when he had returned before it was announced that he was the Chosen One. When the guards had caught him, they found him with an ancient amulet in hand, glowing with a promise.

Apparently, he was prophesized to bring about a new era of peace to the kingdom. He was their shining savior, a hero.

Villain had scoffed at this at first. Ranting to Hero about the responsibilities he never asked for, how the people around him were so fake. But she saw it, then. There was a look in his eyes now, not the old hunger for stolen bread, but a new kind of hunger. 

“Villain, wait. Maybe you should take a break, you’ve been working hard lately, and staying out late. Maybe you should rest, just for tonight.” Hero tried. 

Villain’s eyes were still lit up with excitement. He had been rushing around the new house he had just bought days earlier. “No, I know you don’t like mentor, or any of this, but I need to go. Some very important people are going to be there.”

He wasn’t completely wrong. She didn’t like his new friends, she didn’t like how she felt like she had to beg for attention. It was desperate. 

Hero settled on the couch that probably cost more than everything she owned put together. Her eyes fixed on the floor beneath her feet.

“I’m happy that you are succeeding, Villain. Truly, I am. I just-”

“Just what? Just want me to stick to the pathetic, broken-down villages we used to run through?”

“No, that’s not it.”

“Then what?” He was getting defensive.

Hero finally looked up and met his eyes. He was nothing like that young, mud covered kid she had known. He was clean now, stronger and more determined. His eyes could cut through glass, it felt like they might cut through her.

“I just miss you.” Hero’s voice was soft now. Admitting that was placing a dagger directly into Villain’s hand and they both knew it.

Villain just looked at Hero.

The room was very quiet for a moment. When Hero would look back at this conversation, it was this exact second that felt like the marking point of things to come.

A knock sounded at the door and it shook both of them out of whatever trance they held. 

“I have to go. I’ll see you when I get back?” Villain said, although the last part wasn’t really a question.

“Yeah.”

~One Year Ago~

Despite an uneasiness that had grown between them, Villain and Hero managed to stay within each-other’s orbit. 

Villain had grown into the prophecy he was meant to fulfill. Vanquishing monsters and enemies from all over the kingdom. 

Hero had been there too. Cleaning up the wreckage, bandaging any who got caught in the crossfire. Always a few careful steps behind Villain. 

Hero had gotten done helping a young woman with her wounds and began to search for Villain and the rest of the party to rejoin them. 

What caught her attention was the sound of laughter. This was rather unusual considering the devastation that had occurred moments before. 

“Well? What have you to offer your savior?” 

Villain was standing over a young man who was trembling on the ground clasping something around his neck. 

“Please, my lord, I don’t mean any disrespect.” The young man was scrambling to get up, but one of Villain’s soldiers kicked him back down.

“It’s disrespectful to treat your future king with anything less than a bow when first spoken to.” Villain said, almost lazily.

“I swear, I didn’t know-”

“Didn’t know? What a pathetic excuse.” 

Villain began advancing on the man, signaling the guards to drag him to his feet. 

Villain’s eyes narrowed, “You know what, since you didn’t know I will just have to teach you.” 

Villain raised his hand to strike, powerful light thrumming around his fist. 

Hero’s heart was racing and before he could throw the punch she ran and placed herself between Villain and the man. “Stop!”

Villain paused. “Hero, what do you think you’re doing?”

Hero swallowed, “I think the better question, is what do you think you’re doing?”

The crowd of soldiers had gone silent. Waiting. 

“Get out of my way, Hero.”

“Or what, Villain?” Hero began to gain more confidence, “You’ll hit me too?”

Villain paused. Then he smiled. This time, Hero wasn’t so sure she was happy that she was the cause of it. 

~Present Day~

Hero thought back to that day, when she had stopped Villain from hitting that man. She remembered the small punishments that he had caused her afterwards. They had grown apart after that. A new tension had arose from what used to be an easy friendship.

Now, as she was hurtling herself through the darkness, she wondered if he thought of that same day.

The gardens were now pitch-black. The stars had gone out and the moon had turned her silver face days ago.

“You want to talk about weakness, Hero?” Villain’s voice echoed behind her. 

Damn this dress.

Hero’s only slight advantage had been her deep knowledge of the castle gardens. She had escaped here many times to avoid Villain’s cold wrath.

Villain’s voice sounded calm, but anger was living beneath the surface. “Then I’ll tell you a story, it’s about an ungrateful, greedy, peasant, who lived in her friend’s shadow.”

A knife, she needed a knife. She had left one here, just in case. 

“One day she made a mistake. She decided to take something that didn’t belong to her.” 

Hero fumbled in the dark, she managed to grab onto something cold. Success.

“You know, the story ends with her death. Of course, if you come out now and apologize, maybe it will have a different ending.”

Hero could hear her pulse, thrumming in her ears. Villain was close. She would need him closer. 

She stood up. “Do you promise?”

[boytouya]

𝙁𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚 / 𝙇𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙎𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜

warning: short mention of t-shots/needles, slight angst

words: 1.1k

request: “Hi Cloud! I hope you’re having a great day :) Could i request Dabi with a black, transman boyfriend who is attempting to subtly ask Dabi to marry him and Dabi catches the hints but just… doesn’t want to be the one proposed to first (if that makes any sense) so he keeps acting oblivious for like months and eventually reader has had enough and just pins him down, slides to his knees and is like, “Dabi, I’m gonna die if you don’t marry me” and Dabi’s just a blushing mess because… why is reader on the floor crying with desperation for him? He didn’t think people could want him, let alone so badly. -🌨”

a/n: this has been sitting in my inbox for so long but i finally got to it! i’m so sorry for the long wait. still experimenting with my writing style... so i’m sorry if it’s wonky. i don’t proofread or have anyone to beta read my fics, so some words may be out of place. i’m sorry!

Dabi never considered himself unlovable, he was just unsure whether he had the potential to be loved. To cherish another being, nurture their soul and protect them from the raw, frostbitten anger of the world till his every last breath; he wondered if he had the ability to do that. So he continuously plays dumb, pretends to never fully understand what you’re asking because, quite frankly, he’s afraid. He’s afraid his love for you will overflow. Afraid the flames separating your bond from the cruelty of the universe will set the bond itself aflame and burn it into ashes and stardust. Then all he’d have left are the pieces of you, the ashes he can’t seem to wash off his skin.

Yet he holds your hand anyway. Admiring the contrast in your skin, pressing his hand into yours for as long as he can-to get as much contact as he can- feeling your thumb run over his knuckles and the tips of your ring finger tracing along his jagged skin. You hold his hand like it’s nothing. You know he could burn you whenever he pleases, if ever. But here you are. The sweat on his palm feels like thick layers upon layers of gasoline. But here you are.

You ask him again and again, with so much subtly it’s almost painfully obvious. Like clockwork, his mouth already on autopilot, Dabi’s lips part and his voice (which suddenly sounds so foreign to his own ears) escapes before he can actually consider it. He’s afraid he’d accept a million times over if he gave himself time to think. Truly, he does love you. His love for you has his heart full until it pops. And you see it every day, you hear it everyday. It explodes in the middle of the night, when even the stars expose their vulnerability, when he holds onto you and expresses his gratitude through whispers, dreams, and sleepless nights.

And maybe he wants to be in control of the situation. He wants to hear you say yes, watch you nod with stars in your eyes when finally feel how the universe revolves around you. How the Sun makes it its mission to land on you. And it does it so beautifully, the way highlights your skin just right, and browns your skin further.

“Dabi,” You begin, slotting your right hand above your boyfriend's shoulder and the other on its opposite. He has nowhere else to look but at you. He leans his head back against the wall, staring through the curtains of loose strands of jet black hair. Straight into your eyes and naturally curled eyelashes, nowhere for the eye to travel besides the expanse of skin, hair, and full lips. Those of which he’d kissed a million times before, and if it weren't for the thigh you had slotted between his own, he’d lean in to kiss you. An exasperated sigh sounds from that very area, making the villain snap his gaze back upward. “I’m begging you. If you don’t marry me right now, I’ll die.”

There’s so much desperation laced in your voice, and although Dabi is doing his best to mask the trembling deep within his bone marrow with a sly grin and lidded eyes, he can’t help but flush over the small amount of healthy skin on his cheeks. Cherry red and pairing with his purple scars beautifully, blending up and outward into small freckles and silver staples. He’s always been so beautiful.

He whistles, relaxing his shoulders so they melt into the wall and his body slumps against the thigh keeping him upright. In all honesty he doesn't know how to respond, opting for the safest sound he can make. Of all people, you want to be with him? He was never anything special. There would always be someone better than him. But you didn’t want someone better, you wanted Dabi.

You wanted to place a ring on his finger, you wanted to wipe the windows of his soul clean and use nothing but your blood sweat and tears to do so. You wanted to love him until separated by death, but you knew, even after that, you’d still be smitten. You wanted his everything. His heart, which had never belonged to anyone else. His lips, which you’d kissed a thousand times. His eyes, the same ones you often found yourself lost in, and mind. You never understood what was going on in that head of his, but it didn’t matter. Even if he was spiraling out of control, he’d always find a way to come back around to you.

His heart pounds against his chest, as if the adrenaline coursing through his veins sent his heart plummeting from a dangerous height into a field of flowers. Flowers bloomed because of you, flowers you planted and loved until they grew strong and stable. Stable enough to keep his heart from breaking on impact. Okay, shit. He really, truly does love you. And clearly you feel the same way toward him. He wanted to wake up and see you by his side, with a sleepy grin and disheveled head covering halfway off your head. He wanted to burn down cities with your hand in his, light up the sky with blue flames that burned ten times brighter around you. Of course, it would be an unconventional marriage with unconventional people and even weirder traditions. But that’s exactly what he wants, he wants to be with you.

He wanted to be with you when you’re sitting hunched over on the toilet, a needle in your hand as he helps you take your first T-shot. He wanted to be with you when you had bad days. He wanted to be with you when you had good ones. He wants to help you wash your hair, he wants to spend hours staring at you while you go about your daily life. You were his boyfriend, the light of his life, the one person he saw himself devoted to. You, you, you….

“Alright, you win,” Dabi says finally, shimmying through the confines of your arms and pulling something out of his back pocket. His lips stay pursed up into it’s finally out and on display. A ring, definitely stolen, with a custom band and large diamonds around its perimeter. The band was clear, but the ashes molded into it looked almost like marble. His lips twist into a sly grin, the dimples of his cheeks deepening as he slowly shifts the ring between three fingers. It’s beautiful, definitely worth more than your yearly salary, and you can tell Dabi asked for it to be made especially for you before stealing it. “I’ll marry you. But only if you marry me first.”

[fiftyfiftyinla]

HARDIN. I scan through the pages of the small notebook, my eyes move across the words quickly as I decide where to start. It's a journal from her religion class, it took me a minute to figure out what the hell it was because each entry is labeled with a word and a date, most of them having nothing to do with religion.

Pain. The word catches my eye and I begin to read.

Does pain turn people away from their God? If so, how? Pain can turn anyone away from just about anything. Pain is capable of causing you to do things you would never consider doing, such as blaming God for your pain. Pain.. such a simple word that holds so much inside. I have come to learn that pain is the strongest emotion one can feel. Unlike every other emotion, there is no upside to pain, no positive notion that can make you look at the pain from a different perspective, there is only pain. Lately I have become very well acquainted with pain, the ache has nearly become unbearable. Sometimes when l'm alone, which is more often than not as of recently, I find myself trying to decide which type of pain is worse. The answer isn't as simple as I thought it would be. The slow and steady aching pain, the type of pain that comes when you've been hurt repeatedly by the same person yet here you are, here I am, allowing the pain to continue, it never ends. Only in those rare moments when he pulls me to his chest and makes promises that he never seems able to keep, does the pain disappear. Just as I get used to the freedom, my freedom my self inflicted pain, it returns with another blow.

This doesn't have a damn thing to do with religion, this is about me.

I have decided that the hot, burning, inescapable pain is the worst. This pain comes when you finally begin to relax, you finally breathe, thinking that the pain is yesterday's problem when in fact it's today's problem, tomorrow's, and every day after that. This pain comes when you pour everything into something, into someone, and they betray you so suddenly that the pain crushes you and you feel as if you are barely breathing, barely holding on to that small fraction of whatever is left inside of you begging you to go on, not to give up.

Fuck.

Sometimes it's faith that people hold onto, sometimes, if you're lucky enough you can confide in someone else and trust them to pull you out of the pain before you dwell in it for too long. Pain is one of those hideous places that once visited you have to fight your way out and even when you think you have escaped you are permanently branded. If you're like me, you don't have anyone to depend on, no one to take your hand and assure you that you will make it through this hell. Instead, you have to lace up your boots, grab your own hand, and pull yourself out.

My eyes move to the date at the top of the page, this was written while I was in England. I shouldn't read any more, I should just put the damn book down and never open it again but I can't. I have to know what else was written in this book of secrets. This is the closest to her I fear that I will ever fucking get. I turn to another page labeled "Faith".

What does faith mean to you? Do you have faith in something higher? Do you believe that faith can bring good things into people's lives?

This should be better, this entry should knife the ache in my chest. This one couldn't be related to me.

To me, faith means believing in something other than yourself. I don't believe that any two people can possibly hold the same view on faith whether their only faith is religion based or not. I do believe in something higher, I was raised that way. My mother and I went to church every single Sunday and most Wednesday's. I don't go to church now, which I probably should but l'm still deciding howI feel about my religious faith as an adult without my mother's influence. When I think about faith my mind doesn't automatically go to religion, it probably should but it just doesn't. It goes to him, everything does. He is my every thought, I'm not entirely sure if that's a good thing but that's the way it is and I have faith that it will work out for us in the end. Yes, he's difficult and overprotective, sometimes even controlling. okay, he's often controlling but I have faith in him that he means well with each frustrating action. My relationship with him tests me in ways thatI never thought imaginable but every second is worth it. I have faith that one day the deep fear of losing me will dissolve and he will embrace our future together, that's all I want./ know he wants it too, though he would never say it. Thave so much faith in that man that I will take every single tear, every single pointless argument, I'll take it all just to be around for the day when he has faith in himself. I have faith that one day Hardin will say what he feels openly and honestly, finally putting an end to his self-imposed exile. I have faith that one day he will finally see that he isn't a villain. He tries so hard to be one but deep down he's really a hero. He's been my hero, my tormenter at times, but mostly my hero. He saved me from myself, / spent my life pretending to be someone I wasn't and Hardin has shown me that it's okay to be myself. I don't have to conform to the person my mother wanted me to be and I thank him dearly for it. I have faith that he will see how truly incredible he is, he's so incredibly perfectly imperfect and I love him so much for that. He may not show it the conventional way but he tries and that's all I can ask for from him. I have faith that if he continues to try, he will finally allow himself to be happy. I will continue to have faith in him until he stops trying.

I close the book and pinch the bridge of my nose in an attempt to control my emotions. She had all of this faith in me for no damn reason. I'll never understand why she wasted her time on me in the first place but reading her unguarded thoughts this way twists the knife, removes it, and impales it into my chest once more.

I really am a fucking drunk. I'm hovered over the kitchen counter with a fucking bottle of vodka in my hands. I twist the top off and bring the bottle to my lips. Just one drink will cause the guilt to go away. If I have one drink I can force myself to pretend Tessa will be home soon. It has worked before to numb the pain, it will work this time. One drink.

Just as I close my eyes and tilt my head back, Tessa's teary eyes flash behind mine. I open my eyes, turn the sink faucet on, and pour the vodka down the drain.