#If youve ever sent an email fuck you

[todayisafridaynight]

someone sent me a pinterest board and someone on there vaguely reminded me of masato im going to be ill

[quecksilvereyes]

oh my god do not click links in emails that tell you to verify your data or your bank account gets locked or click links in messages telling you your safety protocol is ending, like, tomorrow, you will get SCAMMED SO BAD AND YOU WILL LOSE A LOT OF FUCKING MONEY never ever let anyone pressure you into giving away login information especially to your online banking by creating a sense of urgency oh my GOD

some things to look out for

1. spelling mistakes. do you know how many rounds of marketing and sales experts these things go through? if theres a spelling mistake dont click it

2. not using your name. if an email adresses you with "dear customer" or, even worse, a generic "ladies and gentlemen", it is most likely not actually targeted to you

3. verifying or login links. even IF your bank was stupid enough to send these to customers, dont EVER click those. look at me. they can legally argue that youve given your data away and thus they dont have to pay you anything back DONT CLICK THAT FUCKING LINK

4. creating a sense of urgency. do this or we lock your account next week. do this or your ebanking stops working tomorrow. give us all your money in cash or your beloved granddaughter will get HANGED FOR MURDERING BABIES. no serious organisation would ever do something like that over email or sms. ever. hands off.

5. ALWAYS CHECK WHO SENT YOU THE EMAIL. the display name and the email adress can vary a LOT. anyone can check the display name. look at the email adress. does it look weird? call the fucking place it says its from. you will likely hear a very weary sigh.

6. if its in a phonecall, scammers love preventing you from hanging up or talking to other people to have a little bit of a think about whats happening. there should always be a possibility to go hey i wanna think about this ill call back the official number thanks.

7. do not, i repeat, do NOT a) call a phone number flashing on your screen promising to rid your computer of viruses after clicking a dodgy link and b) let them install shit on your computer like. uh. idk. teamviewer.

7.i. TEAM VIEWER LETS PEOPLE USE YOUR COMPUTER HOWEVER THEY WANT AS LONG AS THEYRE CONNECTED. IF YOU DONT KNOW FOR FUCKING SURE YOURE TALKING TO ACTUAL TECH SUPPORT DONT GIVE ANYONE ACCESS TO YOUR COMPUTER.

fun little addendum: did you know a link can just automatically download shit? like. a virus? an app you can't uninstall unless you reset your entire device? dont click links unless youre extremely sure you know where they lead. hover your mouse over it and check the url.

thanks.

[lipglossanon]

I had sent a while ago a message about Las Plagas! Leon and pheromone perfume (those were literally the only words I sent) but my brain is still stuck on it. Leon coming home from Spain, thinking everything is fine, that there was no lasting damages from Las Plagas, that Luis’ machine worked perfectly. He’s feeling a bit more angry at things he usually would let slide off his back, but that could be the trauma talking. He’s a bit more sensitive to smell and lights, but he figures he’s either overstimulated or that he got a minor concussion at some point, so it doesn’t worry him. What /does/ start to worry him is the uptick in thoughts he’s been having about you. He’s been in love with you for a long ass time, probably longer than his emotionally constipated ass realized, and youve always drove him wild. But now, it feels all-consuming. Every thought seems to connect back to you in some way- and I mean every thought. When he is eating, he thinks about you and if you are properly eating, if he should learn to cook better (I headcannon that Leon is a terrible cook. Like just barely good enough to make scrambled eggs) so that he can make sure your fed properly, what diet is best for fertility -wait, what? Then he goes to get dressed, and he’s thinking what clothes you like, what would make you attracted to him, what would be easiest for you to tear off him so he can breed you- he’s got to get his hormones under control!

It continues like this all day: when he wins a spar, he’s thinking how impressed you’d be at how well he can protect you, when he reads his emails he wonders if you’re doing the same and how he could provide for you so you’d never have to read one again if you hate it. It’s been a week since he’s been back, and he’s seen you a few times since this madness started (and has to hide his hard cock every time he sees you or smells your scent. He’ll never admit to jacking off while face deep in the shirt he wore when you hugged him. He also will never admit to then humping said shirt to get the scent of you on his dick). But today you’re coming over and you said you got a new perfume and you wanted to see if it he liked it since he said scents were bothering him more lately (his heart warmed at the thought of you changing your perfume just to make him more comfortable. His dick also harden at the sweetness of it but he doesn’t want to acknowledge just how desperate and pathetic that makes him feel). The only problem? Your new perfume says that it’s also pheromone based. You didn’t notice/care, since you figured that was a bullshit selling point, but the scent was nice and lighter than all the others you smelt, and honestly you were getting a headache from all the smells so you just went with it. And for a normal person, thatd be it. The pheromones really wouldn’t have any impact whatsoever. But Leon isn’t normal, not anymore, not after Las Plagas.

So you walk to Leon’s door and knock, and he’s already tucking his dick up into his waistband because the thought of you in his territory, no den, fuck no, home- where you’ll smell like him and get his space to smell like you is making his dick leak precum. And when he opens the door, smells you with higher pheromones, smells just how perfect you are, something in his brain just snaps and tells him that your perfect little cunt would feel like home for his fat dick and all the cum in his balls <3 he whines desperately with just the smell, making you worried. You walk into his house, and you put a hand on his arm in concern, wondering what’s going on, only for Leon to let out the most pathetic and panty ruining moan you’ve ever heard. Just a single touch from you and he’s no longer thinking with his big brain, it’s his dick (and the Las Plagas) talking now. And boy do they talk.

“Please, fuck, smell so good. Need it, need it, need you. Please please, I’ll do anything, just lemme, lemme, fuck nngh, want that pussy, wanna breed you, know youll take it s’good, take it so good for me, be the best mommy f’me. Uh-huh, you’ll be the best, cunts gotta be perfect, gotta be s’wet and sweet and pretty. Perfect lil mate. Lemme breed you, lemme make you a mommy, do anything for you, ‘m the best mate for ya, can protect, can breed, just lemme show you”

Depending on how far down the monster fuckjng rabbit hole you want to go, you can either just have him cum loads that would put a firehouse to shame every time he cums, or having him cum both semen AND some eggs. All I know is that Leon loves you, and wants you to be his perfect little mate as he traps you anywhere and everywhere as he breeds you until he has nothing left to give 🥰

Much love, 🐶 anon

🐶 anon!!!! 😩 😩

You’re a gem , a complete an utter Diamond in my inbox every time I see one of yours asks!! 💜 💜

Yes 👏 to all of this!! 😤😤

He’s so unhinged and just babbling what sounds like nonsense but you can’t think with your legs tossed over his shoulders as he fucks you dumb on his cock 🥴

Like I’m definitely okay with monsterfucking 🤭 god and you’d be so full of cum and eggs that Leon’s going crazy with how much he loves stuffing you full 🥵 🥵

Bless you 🐶 anon 🙏

[gaytobymeres]

I feel like I’m living in a parallel universe to everyone who loves ai. Why are people so keen to defend ai companies who have used stolen data? ‘Well if it was on the internet it’s not private’ ok then since they’ve been caught stealing private data you wouldn’t mind if someone found all your email addresses, home address, passwords, credit card information and anything else you’ve ever used online? Or if someone read every message youve ever received or sent? That’s all online so surely it’s okay for me to see right? And people who use it to do their homework are so fucking pathetic. Do your own fucking work or drop out. Why are you in uni if you’re too incompetent to write an essay? And people in my class were asking google bard to explain basic statistical concepts (we’re talking linear regression, guys) like?? I don’t trust like that. Why would I ask ai, something known to just make shit up, when there are literally thousands of videos and websites written by actual educated people who know what they’re talking about?

[shecouldntbetamed]

One more thing… How DARE you get mad at me for asking obvious questions, (feeling like my gut is telling me something) and CONTINUE trying to make me think I’m crazy, when YOU KNOW YOUVE BEEN LYING TO ME FOR ALMOST THREE YEARS!!!!

You’ve been hiding your lies by trying to turn all of my questions, insecurities, and boundaries around on me, while simultaneously playing the victim online to God knows how many people.

How many woman do you have believing you and feeling sorry for you? How many woman are you future faking online with just to get their attention?!? You gave yourself away, and I don’t know if you meant to or not but I finally solved the puzzle.

My third eye finally led me to the truth. At least now I know I can trust MYSELF. Ive realized that you’re incapable of feeling guilt, shame, or remorse . You need people there feeding your soul because you don’t love yourself. I should’ve known that you couldn’t possibly love me.

Maybe you were afraid that I would come between your online romances or friendships. All I wanted was for you to respect me by being open and honest with me. You refused to do that. It wasn’t much of an odd request coming from a woman who had just gotten out of a 14 year marriage due to him being unfaithful. You knew that. I told you how I felt from day one and instead of backing off, you continued on doing you. You just tried to be really good at hiding it. It may have taken me two and a half years to finally uncover the truth, but like I said, I gave you chance after chance to be honest. Instead, you run off and make me look like a crazy ex to God knows how many people.

You lied to me and made me feel like I could count on my best friend. You told me you loved me. You said you loved my kids. But just as soon as I would start to believe you, you’d rip the rug out from underneath my feet.

You’d block me and ghost me for hours or a day and then you’d start calling, texting, emailing, or showing up to be confrontational and abusive. You took things that belonged to me, destroyed my property, coerced and threatened me into giving you money…

Then you would come back and love bomb me. You would future fake anything you could to weasel and lie your way back in. All to feed your own ego.

And every time you put me down and left me looking at your headlights, I felt like you had someone else in your ear. Someone else giving you their one sided opinion based off of half truths.

But you’d always lie and tell me “You won’t let me have any friends and you won’t let me see my family” To which I would reply, “What?!? I have NEVER EVER said you can’t have any friends!!! I told you I have trust issues and all I asked if you was for YOU TO BE HONEST! I’ve NEVER kept you from your family! They all hate me because of your bath mouthing half truths and one text message I sent them, letting them know how grateful I was for their kindness and hospitality. I did slip into that text that things have been bad between you and me and that I was sorry to be walking out of their lives, but my ex doesn’t even want my kids around Matt”

I was only being HONEST: An important trait that you do not possess.

No wonder you always accused ME of being a liar!!! I KNEW you were abusing me. I’m the one who spent and continue to spend hours upon hours learning more and more about abuse and NPD. I should’ve taken my own advice waaaay back when I figured it out. But I didn’t want to believe that you were lying to me. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t prepared to believe that all the superficial arguments we had were all stemmed from your own dishonesty. I fucking knew it all along but I didn’t want to accept that our entire situationship has all been a lie.

Do you feel good about yourself? You’ve destroyed me. But I will work through this. I will never trust again, but I will make it out with my head held high, knowing that I wasn’t living a lie.

In this relationship I KNEW all of these ridiculous fights were NOT just my fault. You were future faking, lying to me, making me feel like you had my back… then splitting into a man who hated my guts in the blink of an eye, you never hesitated to be done with me, yet you really didn’t do much to absolve the problem at hand whenever you’d make your way back… Yet you wouldn’t just tell me that your friendships were more important than me. You lied to me. Day in, day out. You called ME a liar. You had cameras in MY house. You went through MY phone without my permission, yet you won’t even let me ASK to look through the pictures on your phone without dumping me. That feeling was there Christmas Eve. It was there the nights you would video tape me reacting to you egging me on. The night you ripped apart my house and threw my plant across the room.

Why? Why did you think it was okay to tell me you were going to kill yourself because of me? You would really be okay knowing you’ve been hiding another life behind my back. You’ve been lying to me from day one. All I wanted was your honesty. I’ve never spent more time with any one person than I did with you. I thought I meant more to you then some online “friends”, but I guess I was wrong.

God damnit. Why? Why did you break me like this? This isn’t okay to do to someone you know you were fooling. Especially after I tried and tried and tried to get my kids to like you. Every fucking time my kids told me I chose you over them they were right. I got fooled into thinking you were with me, on my team. You convinced me that you weren’t lying or hiding anything from me.

I would have been understanding (depending on what your topics of conversations are with your friends- you know the golden rule) and if you weren’t having inappropriate “friendships” then you wouldn’t have had to hide it. You never would’ve lied if I was all you needed and wanted.

You also stole from me again when you left in the middle of the night. After lying to me and wasting my time, you steal from me. You really are a bad person. Karma is a bitch. You were my karma. Can’t wait for you to get yours.

[fixing-bad-comic-art]

I think the funniest thing with industry professionals throwing a fit over small time artists fixing their art for fun is like... they and people defending them will say it's justified bc it wasn't asked for but like bro. The very act of making art in a professional lens opens it up to critiques and fixes i'm just an animation student and my art gets fixed every day bc that's how it works! And it's not just for school the industry works the same way! You have to push a pose here keep more on model there or else the film falls apart comic artists have it too good they feel the need to soothe their egos on social media bc someone dared treat them like a professional lol

ok i think this ask just made something click in my brain. like it got the hamster running on its lil wheel and everything

Like, i Really try to keep my professional life and personal life separate to stave off them merging and driving me Insane,

But I am a professional artist, thats what it says on my buisness cards and everything, and I work with a decently sized firm. I spend roughly 5 hours out of every 8 hour day making art as my job. And the thing is? On all that art, all those designs, theres At Least three or four other people who make edits along side their additions, its not uncommon for something ive worked on as artist number three to pass under ten other peoples pens before its out the door.

As part of my actual real life job, i make edits on other peoples art All the time, and they make edits on mine. and thats just part of working at any kind of firm or company.

which makes this whole situation even funnier. bc Soup Man's comic art, unless he does all his own inks, colors, shading, text laying, etc etc, has been edited by someone before its even been published.

It never once occurred to me that an actual professional would care. bc like you said, thats part of the Job. No sane professional is precious with their shit bc like, Why should they be?? you make the thing and pass it on, what happens after it leaves your desk isnt your problem anymore, and fixating on it will make you everyones least favorite coworker because you're fucking annoying and No this Definitely Is not derailing into a Vague Post about Any of my coworkers, i love them all, Definitely, 100 percent. Im Shutting Up Now.

[wizardlyghost]

gonna fuckin time travel back to whatever mf thought "multi factor authentication is something we should make an industry standard" and beat him to death

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[giogio-gucci-gangstar]

What do You Mean this isnt Free Real Estate?

JoJo x Caesar 

summary: Joseph learns how to send hate mail while searching for the elusive tax refund 

CW: just two dudes being married bros committing the ultimate act of love: tax evasion 

Caesar had just finished one of many long days cleaning up one of Joseph's very unnecessary messes. Whether he was referring to the kitchen, thier real estate business, or their shared life was not of much importance. At the end of the day all of his husband’s small mistakes to large fuck ups were dealt with by the same flippant eye roll and a frantic call to the Speedwagon Foundation. 

Caesar brushed by Joseph’s office, expecting it to be empty, and for the younger man to be lounging somewhere on the balcony with a glass of scotch. Yet there he was, at the ripe hour of 5:31 in the afternoon muttering under his breath and poking at the keyboard with rigid fingers. 

Caesar had many questions, but the first that came to mind was, “JoJo, did no one ever teach you how to type properly? Do you really type by poking? No wonder it takes so long for you to reply to my fucking emails!” 

Joseph glared at Caesar’s smug form leaning against the door frame, he didn't want to lose his train of thought so he let his left hand menacingly whir for a second before diving back into his erratic typing. 

This was very unusual. Firstly that Joseph would be working a second longer than he had to, and secondly that he had not risen to Caesar’s playful jab. The blonde’s grin slowly fell as he took careful steps behind Joseph to see what had happened. He peered over his husband’s bulky shoulders trying to get a good view of the screen, but it just looked like a normal Joseph email. There was the absence of a formal header or even greeting, lots of general name calling, and even more spelling and grammatical mistakes. 

None of this alarmed Caesar in the slightest. Sure it had in the beginning when Joseph thought his charisma and charm could successfully carry their fledgling business past his lack of knowledge, but apparently it had been enough. Not that Caesar would ever confess any of this to Joseph though. 

No, what made this instance so concerning was that the header of the email was “Fuck You Mr. IRS.”

“JoJo… Are you sending hate mail to the IRS?” Caesar hesitantly asked. He already knew the answer but needed to hear it aloud. 

“You bet your tight ass I am.” Joseph didn't even spare his tight ass a look as he continued pecking at the keys. 

“As your business and life partner may I ask why for fucks sake do you think this is a good idea?” Caesar was getting a little scared now. It was fine for JoJo to get a little crass with the New York big wigs from time  to time, but he had never done anything so brash as to aggravate a national department. 

Caesar still wasnt terribly sure how the American government worked, much less thier convoluted tax system, but if growing up in Italy had taught him one thing it was that you dont fuck with mafia money. Or government money. As much as Joseph denied it, Caesar was pretty sure they were one and the same over here too. 

“Well they never sent us our goddamn refund receipt!” At this point Joseph stopped typing just long enough to slam his whirring fist on the table. “And THESE look at all of these letters they refused to open!” 

Caesar glanced in the direction Joseph had motion and saw what looked like one and a half envelopes addressed to “The IRS” with no subsequent information. He grabbed up the letters before he could identify the crayon writing.

“JoJo you dumbass you didn't even write out the entire address! Do you even know how this country’s postal system works?” Caesar proceeded to slap Joseph in the face with them. 

Joseph scowled, rubbing his sore cheek and started to pout, “It's not my fault that damn postman doesn't know where the IRS lives.” Joseph was now mumbling into one hand while the other clenched and unclenched into a fist in his lap.  

“Today is just filled with things you don't know isn't it? You don't know where Mr IRS lives and you don't know how to file taxes!” Caesar was reaching a point beyond aggravated but still was yet to reach furious. 

“No one ever taught me how to tax! I must have missed that part when I died!” 

“Sadly you’re alive now, but very close to being dead to me if you keep being so foolishly reckless!” 

“I was almost dead twice that should count for something! I should get like what two tax returns? They should send me two of those huge cardboard checks! And then a third because I lost my hand!” Joseph continued muttering nonsense to himself because Caesar couldn't take this anymore and had stormed out. 

The blonde however waited outside in the hall for a moment to see if Joseph would keep talking to himself, and sure enough he caught some chopped up phrases including “I sent that damned bird into space” “banana suit asshat” “this government owes me”.

----- a few days later ------

“SHIZAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK IS AN AUDIT” 

Caesar’s eyes started to twitch across from Joseph at the breakfast table “Youve got to be kidding me JoJo we’re being audited?” 

“This is bullshit! This is discrimination! I'm being harassed!” Joseph paced around the table holding a very official and angrily worded letter. 

“You’re a millionare I’d hardly call this discrimination and im fairly certain you were the first one to start calling Mr. IRS names.” Caesar took some deep breaths in an attempt to rationalize with Joseph and calm himself down. 

“You claimed all of last year's income right? That's all you have to do.” Caesar had closed his eyes, everything was going to be fine.

“What do you mean ‘claim income?’” 

“JOJO!”  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23109019

[szopenhauer]

Can you talk on the phone while having the tv/radio on? not really ^^”

Describe your teeth: ugh...

Whats the longest youve lived without electricity? days, maybe weeks, no longer than 2

Name all the types/brands of cigarettes you have tried: RGD blue

What is one thing you stand strongly for? hmm... I’m weak

If you could be the owner of one site what would it be? old polyvore :(  I’d keep it 

What does your doormat say? sadly nothing

What is something you always have in your fridge? light lol

What age can you not wait for? I’m not looking forward to growing older wtf

Name all the drugs you’d never do: I don’t plan to try any illegal substances nor even cigarettes or alcohol

What is the most alcohol you’ve drank in a night? half a mug of absynth while I was on meds that I shouldn’t mix with it :x

What street sign do you find totally pointless? round ones have no points lmfao *dry humor

Do you like water? but drink or what?

Would you ever be a zoo keeper? maybe Do you like the name Mia? it reminds me of Mamma mia and I disliked this movie as I’m not fan of musicals so...  Do you have pictures in your room of your friends and you? just parents and dog, not even grandma’s anymore Would you like to live in Canada? no Do you want to be a mouse? dunno When was the last time you had a date? recently Are you in a poke war on Facebook? it reminds me of Sebastian :x Aren’t penguins cute?  they’re fine Would you rather have your friends at your house or you at theirs? have friends over is cool if not my mother and mess (and covid now too of course) as going out is a struggle  True or false: Life is unfair. sigh... Do you have curtains in your living room? What do they look like? we do, they’re like golden/yellowish/beige 

Are you a fan of Star Wars? huge

Do you hate when people don’t capitilize the beginning of the sentence? I do it all the time True or False: Justin Bieber is gay. he’s married to a female, he was dating a gal before too, it’s unlikely

Are you worried about how much paper and water we use? mhm

Did you ever take a computer class in school? we all had to Would you like to sit around and do nothing all day? mmm :3

Mini skirts, jeans or both? neither Are you good at come backs? better than when I was a kid fo sho! When’s the last time you watched the news? I don’t even remember Do you really think that the number 13 is unlucky? it’s my dad’s lucky number  Personality or looks? personality is 90% + I don’t count sex - just women exclusively Do you ever dance around your room when your by yourself? at times Do you hate the cold? very, brrr How long can you hold your breath for? about a minute? What’s something you seem to run out of often? ... Do you think that there really is someone out there for all of us? not for every human being  Do you think Cookie Monster is cute? it’s alright Do you ever wish you were a bird? yes Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? I fight a lot of ppl in my dreams Do you ever wish on your eye lashes? I believe they’re sent by those who think about you instead Do you ever make up stories in your head and wish they come true? some of them only Do you look at people in the eyes when you talk to them? usually not when I talk which makes them think I’m lying, I prefer to look them in the eye when I listen  Which is worse: stuffy nose or runny nose? runny nose is worse  Do you think it would be cool to be part of the royal family? it would be easier in some ways, harder in others, guess it could be worthy after all? Do you have to wear a belt with your pants? I don’t own/wear any Do you think your last relationship was a disaster? I’m taken rn True or False : You were born in March false Do you wear hats in the winter? I do, it’s cold

Are you looking forward to the new year? sorta Are you afraid that one day you may get cancer? I know I will Which is worse : Dentist or doctor? doctor

Do you hate when the radio overplays a song? that’s one of the reasons I don’t listen to the radio What’s your least favorite thing that begins with the letter C? chronic illnesses? Do you wish you could walk on water? how would I take a bath then? Which is your favorite symbol : ! @ $ % ^ & * ( ) ? ? Do you like your legs? they’re not the worst Would you rather visit London or Paris? London Twilight or Harry Potter? HP if I have to choose any Do you have a big nose? I heard I do, they were calling me NOSE in middle school Can you rap? nah Do you like the number 4? meh What color is your bike? my push scooter is green ;) Have you ever tried to count the stars? I don’t think so Are you not over someone? apparently as we’re dating 

Have you kissed someone today? not today Have you taken a painkiller today? nope Have you had a nap today? neither If you’re currently in a relationship - do you think it will last? I’m afraid not ;(  *covid, my issues, our differences etc. - everything can fuck it up and probably will I try to enjoy the moment but it will break us hard sooner or later and I’m getting used to the tought even tho she asks me not to give up (I don’t plan to but I worry she might) I’m gonna miss what we have... if this relationship won’t work I’m not gonna look for anybody new ever  What would you wear if you were being taken out to dinner tonight? how fancy? Do you take your Christmas decorations down before or after New Years? after, before my birthday Have you made a large purchase today? no Have you ever had a migraine? it’s a disease, you either have it or not, that’s not just a single headache Have you locked your front door today? my parents are outside muahahaha Have you been awake before sunrise today? noooooooo

Do you normally eat dessert? nope Do you think you could be happy if you had to live with only nine outfits? not during winter Do you watch sunrises? barely ever Do you wake up before the sunrise? when I can’t sleep Do you watch sunsets? not interested

What would you paint on a pumpkin? why not carve? Do you ever imagine you are richer than you are? when planning my dream apartment  Do you ever imagine that you live in an entirely different world? kind of Would you rather change your first name or your middle? I have no middle name, I could add one or change first, whatever Do you wish your last name was more interesting? more like shorter  If you wrote a novel, would you give the characters ordinary names? it varies Do you worry too much? I’m a worrier What’s your favorite leaf color? green Do you wonder if you have super vision? I have a very good vision which is weird knowing how much I read in the past and how long I sit in front of the computer Do you like the smell of autumn leaves? not a fan If you were a singer, what would you sing and write songs about? sad stuff Would you rather be a dancer or a musician? musician

Where do you put your keys when you get home? not gonna tell you

Are you expecting any phone calls or emails? what if I win the contest?...

What does a successful relationship look like to you? success is when ppl die together (I mean not the same time but when they get older together) and not just because they had to, relationship is more than getting used to and coping - it’s happiness out of being together even if everything around is shit, you know what I mean?

What is the best house you’ve ever lived in? I’ve never moved

Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house? if I need to

Have you ever seen someone quit their job in a dramatic way? nope?

What was the last email you received? spam

Do you know someone who speaks without a filter? less filters than most but it also depends on who they’re talking to and what about

Are you the youngest, middle or eldest child in your family? youngest

What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off? I’m a procrastinator so don’t even ask

What’s the first thing you check on your phone at the start of the day? fb messenger

[diningpageantry]

Scales, Fins, and other Fishy Daydreams

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215168/chapters/43151156

Chapter 3/10 of It’s A Handheld Disaster

Word Count: 1553

Chapter Summary: Baz takes Simon's shitpost text a step further, and the outcome ends up spreading a few rumors.

SIMON

bi-sammy: sammy would still fuck huxley if he looked like the fish from shape of water

I grin smugly at my screen, sitting in a dark room with nothing shining but my mobile. The shutters stay shut, and the light from the bottom of the doorway barely filters into the room. It’s just me, this scratchy blanket, and Baz, somewhere else in England on another screen. I absolutely adore that.

gaystrell: why would you say something so controversial yet so brave.jpg

Sometimes, I catch myself smiling. Other times, I elect to ignore how real it feels. It’s weird, given that it feels like I’m just chatting with someone who I see everyday. The casualness of this reminds me of texting Penny in the afternoon on a Thursday.

Except, given the current time, it could be interpreted as more intimate than that of a friend’s text.

8am on a Saturday is usually a time reserved for comfort. For staying warm with someone you care about. Instead, I’m just messaging Baz.

bi-sammy: because im right

bi-sammy: hear me out here ive got a brilliant idea

gaystrell: whoever taught you the definition of a brilliant idea was clearly misleading you

bi-sammy: dont be an arse until youve heard it

bi-sammy: wanker

gaystrell: you’re truly proving your point

bi-sammy: ANYWAY

bi-sammy: shape of water au

bi-sammy: thats all

gaystrell: i’m appalled.

gaystrell: hold on.

I don’t think much of it. Occasionally, he disappears for an hour to two. I don’t bother asking, assuming it’s none of my business, but I do tend to worry a bit. I hope he’s alright.

After clicking off my phone, my head settles against my pillow as my eyes fall shut.

There’s something about this. There’s something about him. It’s a bit hard to pinpoint what it is, but the overwhelming feeling of comfort I have in the notifications I get from him just answering my bullshit is incredibly welcomed. He’s semisweet. I don’t know why I didn’t see it earlier, but he’s a fantastically bitter person.

My head slowly turns over, eyes opening and straining in the darkness.

I hate my empty room.

I hate the absence of comfort--I hate the plainness of these walls.

I want to say I hate my foster dad, but I also feel like I’m not allowed to say that. Not because the system will take me again and throw me back (even though I could have left a year back, if I was still in it). Instead, I feel like I shouldn’t hate him. Theoretically, I should be thankful for what I have. I’m not in a boy’s home, and I haven’t been since I was 11, but the remnants remain. The fights don’t go away, and neither do the weeks of starvation.

Still, I sort of despise living here under Davy.

That’s what he makes me call him. His name. His nickname. Not dad; of course not dad. He’s had me in his care for roughly six years, but he’s still Davy to me.

Shitty fucking Davy, with his strict curfews and practically using me as a housemaid because he’s too cheap to care for himself.

Shitty fucking Davy, not letting me add anything to my room because the day I turn 18, I’m out of here until his next kid (and cheque, apparently) come in. Told me I’d wreck the walls and ruin his furniture if I did put anything on it, too.

So that’s what I’ve got. Blank walls, blank furniture, blank everything. It’s like a jail cell for a bedroom, and everything I’ve got to show for myself is in a backpack and two dresser drawers/

But, at least, I own my mobile.

Every summer job, mixed with odds and ends shit and whatever I can do for my bill. It’s all mine, and Davy can’t fucking touch it.

Maybe that’s why, when I feel it buzz against my chest, it makes me feel more alive. It’s a reminder of all that work just to be able to talk to someone freely.

Arguably, the best feeling in the goddamn world.

I grab it and flip it over. It’s just an email about uni.

Fuck.

I end up scrolling through tumblr for a little while, doing nothing but liking and reblogging a thing here or there. It takes a little while before a little drop down falls from the top of my screen.

gaystrell: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1r7Wkwj7MSFk0--DgquHGhYVBbqneEYq0J01t0uMRmxA/edit?usp=sharing

gaystrell: feel the need to apologize before you click the link, but then again, you asked for this hell

When I click on it, it pulls up a doc titled just “crackfic”, and I’m floored with the first sentence alone.

“Fuck my fish ass harder, daddy.”

My hand flies up, covering my mouth as I practically wheeze as quietly as possible. A few paragraphs in and I’m nearly crying into my palm, muffling my laughter as I read through pages upon pages of the most ridiculous fic I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.

I check the word count out of pure curiosity, and it somehow makes me laugh harder.

bi-sammy: holy fucking shit

bi-sammy: i swear to god if you don’t post that i will

gaystrell: already in the process of making the archive post

gaystrell: i seriously believe you underestimate my sincere ability to be the biggest dick on the street

bi-sammy: i dont know whether or not u meant that as ur literal dick or the big dick energy in making that a post but id probably agree with you in both

bi-sammy: tag me in the post pls i want to be the first to reblog it

gaystrell: you’re a ridiculous, sad, little man

gaystrell: of course i’ll tag you

Within minutes, it’s uploaded with the absolute worst slew of Archive tags attached to it, and as soon as he tags me in his post, I tap the notification.

Scales, Fins, and other Fishy Daydreams

Word Count: 3,192

Summary: Fish!Huxley and Sam get it on Shape of Water style

@bi-sammy this is your fault (you're welcome)

I immediately slam like and pull up reblog, rapidly typing out my response before posting.

absolute madman. cant believe youve done this. i trust you with my entire life.

As usual, he's quick to reblog back.

anything for the absolute pain in my life x

Smiling shamelessly, I ride on the moment's high as our conversation stays out in the world. I quite enjoy this version of his softness. The public, taunting replies to mine. In all this time of following him, I can't really recall him ever being this friendly with anyone but me.

Makes me feel special. Maybe too much so.

BAZ

The jarring shock of the seemingly endless notifications rattles me momentarily speechless.

It isn't even 15 minutes after I'd replied to Snow and there's already a few people reblogging it with comments about him and I. A quick “i ship y'all’ to “powermove of the century”. Each make me flush deeper as the replies flood in.

If I were to be practical, I'm aware that I shouldn't be so flustered over the concept of us being a couple. It's most likely my overactive, sad, lonely imagination, but the idea of being loved just makes me blush. Especially since it's someone who doesn't seem to absolutely loathe me.

gaystrell: are you reading these?

bi-sammy: the what?

bi-sammy: i have. nothing to read. i cant read.

gaystrell: use your two remaining brain cells look at the notes for the crackfic

bi-sammy: holy shit

bi-sammy: im cackling

A notification pops up, making me snort this time. I pull up the post and send it off to him without a second thought.

gaystrell: sent a post

gaystrell: “sounds like something huxley would do for sam”

bi-sammy: stop im gonna piss myself shits too fucking funny

I pull it back up, scrolling down to reblog and adding a quick reply that, in all honesty, I should have thought out more. Secretly, part of me is glad that I sent it.

huxley wishes he was this smooth ;)

Within seconds, replies flood in from everywhere. From jokes about Snow and I possibly dating to the concept of Huxley writing (purposefully) shitty homoerotica about himself as a fishman. I quite like the conversation about the latter, while the former makes my chest knot in ways inexplicable.

Going through the notes makes me smile, even if it's mildly embarrassing. The amount of times I've seen the eyes emoji used is definitely excessive, but still somewhat welcomed.

Even my archive has a few comments already, although more based around the fic itself. More ironically, though, is the one person who probably took it seriously and just commented, “Nice fic!” I love the abundance of shameless appreciation for obscure fanfiction in the depths of this community.

Snow's messages roll down my mobile screen as I'm checking the comments, continuously replacing the previous message for the top slot.

bi-sammy: mate

bi-sammy: i love you

bi-sammy: also every time you reblog something of mine i get like 5 followers

bi-sammy: if you mention me i get 10

bi-sammy: youre???????????? a god????????

bi-sammy: can i marry you????????????

I slowly close my laptop, eyes on my phone with an absolutely gleeful grin.

gaystrell: when and where?

[hyungkyun]

(^:

HENLO!!! this is ur actual bday present, not that Gross thing i sent earlier lol. again, do whatever u want with it!! u dont have to post it or anything. it’s just easier to submit stuff like this than to, idk, send u an email like a señora lol.

ok so im doing this in bullet point format bc the last time I wrote a coherent, well-written paragraph was like 5 years ago or smth. anyway!! since u hated soooo much my beautiful, amazing, unique goths au im going with the loser couple au… which was also a college au of sorts?? dskjhksjdf this isn’t even an au, since y’all are already losers tbh (^: this also got out of hand…. this shit is eight pages long. idk enjoy bithc.

first of all, ck the kind of dude everyone’s lowkey scared of bc he’s silent and serious af. also he does seem kind of a weirdo, tbh?

youve seen him around, maybe you’re in the same dorms but u have absolutely no idea what he’s majoring in :o and u ask around but no one has any idea either!! oh wow a mystery~~

BUT he’s kinda cute hmmm (^: and u probably find the weirdo vibe interesting

however it’s so hard to get to talk to him. u always run into him when you’re out with friends or in a hurry to get to class so :///

but destiny works in mysterious ways~~~ and once u meet it’s rly. so unexpected.

actually, it’s awful since u get locked out of ur dorm sound familiar?? during winter break, rly late at night after a long study session at the library yes, the library, fight me. so u kinda just. sit down miserably outside ur room, since ur roommates are gone, cursing everything and everyone. u will eventually go looking for someone to help u out or smth but right now u need to Whine.

but oh my!! enter mister im changkyun!!! that weirdo who actually lives a couple of doors away from u (how come you never found out wtf???)

he sees u basking in ur misery and actually. finds u rly cute??? bc you’re pouting, cursing a little under ur breath, fumbling with ur phone. but u also look angry as fuck, ready to kill a man??? and yet you’re really fucking cute what the hell!!!!

so he comes up to u and asks u what’s wrong, to which u answer not so nicely without even looking up from ur phone, bc you’re rly so done with this situation ://

but then u look up and u See who it is fuck fuck fuck fuckfucbicvufkhkcfj

but since ck’s Nice and he understands that u must be having an awful time (and also bc he thinks youre cute) he offers to help u. you’re kind of skeptical since he’s just another student, what could he do???

until he tells u he knows how to pick locks lmaoaoaoaoa. that lil weirdo (‘:

anyway he saves ur night. but since he’s an annoying lil shit he’ll tease u abt it every time he runs into u for the rest of winter break.

since that day y'all basiclly become an old, bickering, married couple fnsdjdj

u never stop annoying each other…. you’re wearing a hoodie? he’ll probably pull the hood all the way down until it covers ur eyes, and u get him back by messing up his hair which, by the way,is so soft….. hmmmm

u call each other nerd and loser and dumbass all the time lmao. he’ll constantly bring up the way u met just to jokingly say that you’d be lost without him :/// he rly is a lil shit.

it’s funny bc everyone figures out u are falling for each other… except u two. and i rly do mean everyone. ur friends. his friends. ur roommates. ur cat. the janitor, too, probably. it’s so obvious it hurts.

one time someone implies u would be a cute couple and y'all literally go all ‘no???? haha me??? liking that loser??? pfft not in a million years’

it’s the biggest lie, of course (: and ever since that person suggested u would look good together, both of u kind of realize it’d be… nice. more than nice. actually, super nice.

but since both of u are dumb tsunderes,  as ive said before, u will literally be the embodiment of this scene… except it goes both ways. honestly u are so gone for each other it’s GROSS.

but we need some angst up in here so y'all dont get together for a reaaaaaaally long time :/ smh. the pining is Real. ppl come and go in ur lives, and each person u go out with sees that u already fell for someone else—and that’s why all potential relationships don’t last much–, but sdjkfhksjdhk!!! neither of u want to openly admit it.

it’s A Mess bc u are actually good friends and u tell each other abt ur dates and stuff—secretly hoping the other will do something—but y'all looove being dumb so u act like it’s all cool and be like ‘o rly!! good for u, i hope it works out’. right. :/

y’all keep dancing around each other for several months until one Merciful Soul gets tired of ur shit and forces u to sort things out. im talking abt locking u up in some room and not letting u out until u stop pretending u aren’t disgustingly in love with each other. or smthequally cheesy (: u know ilove cheese

((obviously everyone eavesdrops through the door bc cmon, theyve been waiting for this for sooooo long))

at first u two are just annoyed at the Merciful Soul betchait was minhyuk, and u spend ur time yelling and cursing them for doing this (all while claiming that this is pointless, since u have NO feelings for each other. none. nada!)

after a very long time, it’s ck the one that confesses first lmao. youve been whining and being grumpy the whole time youve been locked up together and it kinda reminded him of the way u met… damn. here come The Feelings.

he’s tired, and there’s nothing left to lose. so he tells u The Truth.

[suspenseful pause….. what’s going to happen next?? :OOOOO]……… tune in next year to find out, in the continuation of Cristina’s Cheesy Birthday Present!!!

jk, proceed to the next bullet point pls.

obviously u tell him u feel the same way [insert ppl crying in the background] and he’s actually shocked when u say u like him back…. and gosh, he does look cute when he’s surprised…

so yeah!!! it’s until then that u FINALLY go on a date during the weekend!!. hallelujah. thanks minhyuk,u beautiful soul.

so!!! ok!! first date!!! a rly cute fairground in the evening!!!

u try to be fake mean to each other like u used to but everything feels different~~~ (^:

so instead y’all act bashful as hell, and blush at everything jjdfghjfhd. hands brushing accidentally?? BLUSH. eyes meeting? BLUSH. BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH!!! u also laugh at everything bc both of u are so nervous oh gmhg fdknjjkdsfjoidf this is gross.

he’ll tell bad jokes to make u laugh and they’re rly so so so bad that he actually keeps u in stitches. if u look rly closely you’ll see his huge ass heart eyes bc !!!! he made u laugh!!!! and u look so pretty when u laugh omg!!!! dis-gos-tinnnnn

it’d be such a cute date tbh im crying just thinking abt it (‘’’’: obviously he’s a gentleman and he lets u choose what to eat, which ride to go to first, etc. u could literally tell him ‘hey let’s just sit down and do nothing’ and he’d say yes. he’s so gONe, ifmgfjdmf.

he’s kinda quiet and a lot shier than u wouldve expected but youre literally melting bc that’s a new side to him that you’d never thought you’d see.

u end up having so much fun (‘: u gross lil idiots, u.

oh and he’s def the type to ask if he can kiss u at the end of the night EYYYYYY

even if u find that incredibly endearing you’ll probably roll ur eyes with a huge ass smile on urlips lmaoaoaoao and call him a dummy for even asking when you’ve literally be in cloud nine since ur date started kjkhwjeqdkwjlk  

[hello, brief break to clarify that from this point i forgot this was actually a college au lmao, so the rest of the bullet points are literally just. random facts abt u two dating hhhhhh. We dont even know what ck’s major is odjfngnfdj]  

at first things are a lil awkward in ur relationship tbh

catch ck googling ‘how to relationship’ on a daily basis dnfndkfjdncn he is sort of clueless abt how to handle The Feelings. mostly bc this is Important and the last thing he wants is to mess it up )^:

that goes away eventually, tho!! he’ll start being his weird little self real fucking soon, so Get Ready

u still call each other nerd and all that stuff, but ur voices are dripping with fondness when u say it… literally everyone around u gets cavities from it, ew.

he’s not that big on planning dates but from time to time he’ll take u to rly cool, unexpected, interesting places :o  and eventually he’ll show u his favorite secret spots ((’:

study dates are a thing. i bet he’s that type of person that enjoys reading in weird ass positions… his legs are like, halfway off the couch and his arm is bent in a way that looks almost painful… what the hell….?? but it’s fine (: it goes so well with ur study methods, those that are Too Weird for the library, yeah?? (:

he will also stare at u a lot bc u look cute when you’re rly focused on smth that is, when u stop  whining abtstudying…

every time u catch him doing that you’ll go all ‘stop staring at me!!! wtf are u looking at u weirdo’ and he’ll answer ‘you’re so pretty~~~ ♥️♥️♥️’. you’ll blush like a lil idiot, naturally (^: hmmmm

and yea, yea. nap dates are a thing too :/// with sleepy forehead kisses and raspy voices and tangled limbs. all that sappy stuff. he’s a lil shit tho, so he’ll sometimes poke ur ribs to tickle u lmao.

buuuut he’ll also take a lot of pics of u sleeping bc he thinks youre cute )))): his faves always end up being his wallpaper for months.

he’ll get strange gifts for u, like rly bizarre plushies and rare books on topics he thinks u will like,  tacky anime memorabilia, etc. he’ll always give them to u at random times bc he just saw them and reminded him of u ♥️  

he makes a lot of playlists for u too!!! pls listen closely, he puts a lot more thought into them than he lets on.

u like his selfies??? well he’ll send u a lot of those. unfortunately, bc he’s a lil shit, he’ll mostly send double chins and weird ass faces from equally weird angles  

from time to time he’ll send u a Nice One tho ((((^: and u know, tongue selfies since youreSO fond of his(and I quote) “5ft tongue”. and oh gosh! is that a tongue piercing…??? eyyyyyy

if u want to take couple selfies then you’re gonna have a real hard time bc he’ll always be making weird faces and poses just to be annoying. eventually u will make dumb faces too tho (’: what a couple of losers

expect weird random texts: he loves telling u abt whatever is on his mind—probably aliens. he thinks a lot abt aliens and the universe. throw some conspiracy theories in there, too—. he’ll also send obscure memes. and a lot of russian cats!!

he’ll love ur cosplay hobbie. he thinks it’s super cool. he’ll call u a nerd but don’t be fooled! he totally brags abt it with his friends (^:

oh! and this is unrelated but at some point y'all will look like an emo goth couple. u won’t even realize that you’re both wearing black and looking Edgy, it’ll just happen spontaneously. tragic 😔

there are a lot of comfortable silences when u hang out, but late night deep convos are also fundamental :o!!! bc y'all are Smort.

he’ll act like f*cboi from time to time tbh?? he’ll tell lots of dirty jokes LMAO. u roll ur eyes at him a lot bc they’re rly. so bad.

if he winks or does Eyebrow Things then u can’t rly roll ur eyes and act like you’re annoyed bc (: u like it (: and u think it suits him (: and he knows it (: (: (:

u get back at him by telling him he’s cute tho, and he’ll get all shy and he’ll stutter and saying “noooooo” while also fighting back a smile

he will also howl or bark at u to annoy u jdfhkjdf. damn f*rry ://

on that note, he loves to embarrass u in front of ur friends bc he’s a lil shit :DD

But he’s also the sweetest??? whenever he sees you’re feeling down he’ll start doing weird shit to make u laugh. if that doesn’t work then he’ll hug u real tight without saying anything else, bc that’s Enough, u know?? (’:

ok time to get Domestic lads!!!

Idk who the hell is going to cook bc y'all are a damn mess in the kitchen. u two try to cook Nice Meals sometimes. seven times out of ten u end up ordering takeout lmao.

be prepared: he sings in the shower, and he does so terribly. (he might do it a little louder and a little more off-key sometimes bc he knows it makes u laugh)

random kisses are a thing!!! he kisses ur cheek or ur shoulder or ur nape or literally. any body part he can get his lips on when u two are just hanging out, watching movies or smth. it’s so soft and cute )^: wtf im crying

but also stolen kisses!! he’ll kiss u at the most unexpected of times and it alwaysleaves u breathless

he’ll constantly put his head on ur shoulder and make this face at u (^:  

can’t sleep??? don’t worry!!! he’ll sing to u with that pretty, soothing voice of his

anyway. what I meant is that y’all would be such cute little idiots together this was long af. wow. im so sorry. happy birthday??? lmao

I HAD TO PUT THIS UNDER A READ MORE BC ITS SO FUCKING LONG NAT U DUMBASS ICB U DID THIS KFJSKFJSLKDJFLKJ THIS IS SO CHEESY AND GROSS and it also made me realize that u know too much shit abt me. what was that t*ngue part. im not talking to u ever again. aNYWAY U RLY ARE AN IDIOT I WAS SMILING SO BIG THRU THIS WHOLE THING MAYBE I SCREAMED A LITTLE?????????? FUCK U!!!!!!!! WHATS WITH ‘The Feelings’ PART I HATE THAT I ALMOST DIED FUCK OFF IM NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE FEELINGS!!!!!! U CANT DO THIS TO ME SKJFHSKJDHFKSLDJFH 

icb u rly did the fairground first date i rly fucking hate u why did i even tell u these things i knew it was gonna fire back im fjjgjkknknnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ur ‘tragic 😔’ when we become a goth couple :/ u dont understand goth love

why the fuck did u make him howl. i wanna fucking die rn. what the fuck. he fucking would. fuck off.

i dont wanna talk abt all that domestic shit how did u even write all of that without dying i literally wanna rip all my limbs off i wont make any comment. i didnt need to know what that would be like but u looooove ruining my life so :)

i rly hate u ksdjfhskdjhfksjh icb u did this thank u i wanna die??????????? wtf nat !!!!! no but rly thank u :( u took the time to write this long ass college au (is it????? whats cks major tho rly :/ ) and just skdfjsjk u remembered all the weird shit i told u thats cute and also Really Bad what else do u know that i forgot i told u skdfksjh im literally always screaming at u abt this shit how did u !!! remember all of this!!!!! dldskfjshljhlakjsh this is so cute and horrible nat wtf how could u :( now im gonna cry :(

[ohdannyboyarts]

Shattered. Gone. You just wrecked me with your cold heart. Your evil. And I fell for you. You convinced me I was worth your time. That i deserved a life with you and our son. And you just ruined me. Last time you did this you sent me away for 2 years. And as soon as you called i came running back like a fool. Was it good. All the times I made you EXPLODE all over me? All the great times i sacrificed my own pleasure to make you feel like a queen? Was I good baby? As you were tied up. All the toys and rope you bought. Just for more. You said you were addicted. You made me feel like a god. Like there was no one else you would rather have.

And then you just throw me away. And tell me that I dont need to be looking for love. That I need to be alone. You said that. Your words. Havent I been alone enough? All my life ive been alone. Years locked away. 5 here. 2 from you and my son. And for what? Because I'm depressed? Because I have anxiety? Because you need space? I have to lose it all? I am so god damn heart broken. I hate myself for ever letting you poison me with the fun and dreams and...holy fuck you even worked your way into my need to create, so that we could make art together. MY DREAMS. You gave me so much. And then just shattered me. I am so fucking tired of people like you. You take. When its good for you you take everything I will give you, and as soon as times get hard, your out the door. Do you know that I am now left with all this love you gave me, in pictures and text and emails and memories, I am left sitting here while you go live. And I know you...i know how bad you need things...god damn I am so crushed right now. Worse of all, you dont think i should post or write anything? I cant yell? Why? You read all these, so youve read where I admitted to what I did wrong, the depression and the toll it takes on you. You know.

So then you should also know this. Send me away again if you want. But I'm not giving up on a fucking thing. Most importantly, love. I refuse. Part of being human is knowing you have people that love and support you. Its one of the things that you teach our son. It is so important that people know they have someone they can trust, and share things with. Laugh with. Cry with. Love with. These are basic human needs. And after giving me so much love, and wrapping me around your finger, knowing how much I crave you, giving me these huge periods of time where we live like a family. Sure I go home, but still...to give me all that, knowing how deeply happy I was...sorry im not a good writer, what I mean is that you gave me all I wanted, then ran as soon as the depression hit. Maybe you didn't know it, or maybe you just dont care anymore, but you left me with so much. I was ready to spend my life with you and we built such a beautiful little family, and its just so damn obvious that I'm head over heels in love, and that I hate this shit, and yeah I'm really bad at social media but HELLO...you do not get to sell me a dream, take it away, then tell me to stop posting. Who cares if I look crazy? The only person who knows who you are is me and you so who the fuck gives a damn if i sound nuts? Or angsty? Or odd or weird or any of that none sense? Who cares? Unless you care. And what does that mean? If you cared you wouldn't be happy without me. If you cared we would still be a family, trying to make it. Ive had a hard life and you are the ONE person who knows it all. And I dont have you anymore. So you dont get to tell me that I should be alone. Ive been alone. I know more about isolation than you could possibly know.

Sure, you have every right to leave. Your free. Your an adult. Your american. Do what you want. Be happy and enjoy life. But you dont have the right to tell me I need to be alone, after all the time ive spent alone and locked away. By myself. Have you counted up all the time youve lost? All the time youve missed out on friendships and love and family and LIFE? How much time have you lost? Well ive counted. And it comes to almost 17 years. My actually time free and happy was broken up in these small blocks of time. This started when I was 6. When my parents split. And I didnt see mom again till I was 11. Then prison starting at 20. So no baby. I think ive had all the alone time I need for one lifetime. I want to love. And laugh. And feel joy. And you GAVE IT ALL TO ME. Knowing my past.

I am going to keep posting. And writing my musings and nonsense. I'm going yell. And be angry at you. And crave to please. Crave to make you feel so good again. I love my filthy mind. I'm going to keep doing so. And drawing the things that make me move. And painting. And doing my tattoos. And who knows? Maybe you'll notice me one day.

I thinking I'm done ranting lol sorry for my filth people

[mr-rod-lestrange]

Rome

It all started on the day we left. Our flight was at 3.30 so i suggested we left at midday, John argued that it would be too early but it takes roughly an hour and half to get to east midlands and we've got check in and security etc plus it was ryanair so i thought the more time the better. after much arm twisting he agreed though told me all the way there on the empty dual carriageway that i was paranoid etc until we got there and were waiting for ages in both check in and security and if we had left when he wanted to we'd have missed the flight. Throughout the lines he was panicking we didnt have enough time and said it was unusual as usually he gets checked in and through security in ten minutes.

The flight was my part of the arrangement, his was the hotel. when we got there we got a cab to the hotel which i had planned for. there was a bus into rome but as neither of us had been before we couldnt figure out where to catch it, fine. it wa 40 euros and took an hour- whatever. i paid for this. when we got to the 'hotel' it turned out to be on the top floor of a block of flats, like an air bnb sort of thing, cheap rooms, which i was fine with. only no one was answering the intercom, luckily someone was leaving and let us in and we got to the top to find no staff and no information. John proceeded to have the hugest meltdown i have ever seen 'I'm stuck ellie, i'm stuck in a foreign country where no one speaks english and we got no where to stay tonight and we're going to be homeless' now i was a bit worried, but we had passed like five hotels on that street alone and it wa sa tuesday, someone would have SOMETHING. we stayed up there maybe ten minutes before deciding to get something else, which we found on the corner. he paid like 150 euros for the night and it was nice. Only when he checked his emails he found out he'd been sent all the check in info from the hotel people, check in was until 8 and we got there at 8.30, but they sent him the codes and instructions anyway it was fine we went out got a bit tiddly, had some food and crashed in our nice room.

It was during the first night i found out that he had only booked the hotel until saturday morning. Despite me showing him the itinerary for flights and telling him the dates about 4 times, each time he told me 'sure babe' he had not read the itinary or paid any attention as we were due to fly out again on tuesday the 19th. I understandably wasnt very happy with this as i ran it by him so many times and he basically had chopped our holiday in half. I did toy with the idea of staying by myself until tuesday but i realised getting a hotel saturday night might be difficult and expensive and i just got an email that my flat is finally ready :)

went to the room next day, it was nice, just a bed, tv, balcony, and bathroom but in the same room seperated with a slidey glass door. I was fine with this, he was fine- whatever. Rest of the trip went well we had good wine, good food saw all the sights, rome is a truley lovely place. My next gripe with him might come across as a bit petty but I just couldn't get past this, John shits a lot, which is fine, people have different digestive rhythms to myself, but he doesnt clean the toilet after himself.I'm not kim and aggie guys but it takes five seconds to scrub a bog after youve been in it. there is nothing quite so grim than going to loo and seeing and smelling someone elses shit. Also, i don't know when this happened in our relationship but John felt this was the appropriate time to start farting in front of me, in bed, while on the balcony, everywhere, and it stunk, it made me feel sick.

somehow in the wake of all the stress he caused me with the whole chopping my holiday in half scenario and the fart and shit festival we were having in the room he also felt it wasa great time to initiate shags which i could not have been less on board with. didn't happen, i dont know whether its because i was mad at him or disgusted but i'd rather have fucked donald trump at least his bedroom would have been clean.

so anyway we got up today to go home, our taxi was booked for 7am and we waited outside, we were told it was a white sedan, all of the taxis in rome are white sedans. this taxi pulls up, we get in, go to the airport and pay. only when i get inside the airport, i find ive got ten missed calls. that wasnt the taxi i booked. my fault i suppose, but i did ask the guy if he was the one we booked and he said yes but chalk it up to communciation error? anyway that taxi company keep nagging me for 40 euros to pay for the journey i boked but never had, theyve sent me bank details but i cant figure out how to do it so i suppose theres a bounty on my head and i can never return to rome.

We had two planes today, rome to pisa and pisa to east midlands, he paid for both flights which is good cos its his fault for not listening. rome to pisa was fine, we got a maccys breakfast, hung out in the smoking shed thing and slpt through the flight. Pisa to east midlands was more manic, again he got angry ecause of the queues ut we're flight jet2holidays what can be expected? he got mad again cos they made him take his belt off to get scanned but anyway we got home. when john gets mad he gets sweary and loud and i get quiet and try and calm the situation and it's a side i don't like seeing.

It's just been shit after shit literally and the straw that broke my camel back happened this afternoon, we were leaving the airport car park and the machine was broken. John buzzed for the intercom and explained it was broken, the man asked him to put his card in the machine about five times then said it was johns problem for having a card that didnt have chip and pin. in johns defense the card machine was displaying an error and they got a man our to fix it, all the while a massive queue formed behind. john got mad at intercom man and started swearing at him and i had to shout JOHN at him like the wife out of one foot in the grave my actual words were 'dont swear at english people while they are working they won't help you' and the intercom guy did cut us off for five minutes and i dont blame him. I know John was tired and mad and so was everyone else.

Best thing was when the engineer came to reset everything some old bint with pink came out with a fag on having a go at the engineer for how long it was taking (maybe 15 minutes at MOST) and her big bald hubbie came out and was like 'yer keepin' us prisoner, we're prisoners in this car park, let us out we've got rights, we've got places t' be' and i'm like holy shit anyway they let u go without paying the car park fee which was £60 so that's one teeny tiny victory in all this.

I loved rome, as a city its massive and beautiful and has loads to do, taste and see. I can't quite put it into words but literally John had a stress every time something mildly inconvenient happened, he hated the crowds, he hated queueing, he hated the traffic the only thing he didnt hate was the wine and having a shit. Coming home today has been so difficult to explain cos i was so jet lagged from the two flights but it's okay, i'll just wait for the threatening emails from he rome tax company and in the mean time organise me moving out :)

Am i being unreasonable? I found him disgusting this week?

[i-amusemyself]

All Emoji Asks.

🐰 what is one secret youve never told anyone?I don't really have that many secrets. I guess theres a side of my personality that I spend a lot of energy supressing like hell that I hate with a passion.💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?Right now? My best friend right next to me or my friend back home.🐹 what are some of your favourite pokemons and why?I mean, I only ever played pokemon go, but from that I loved the squirtles and the evees just bc theyre cute af🌠 if you were in charge of the world what would it be like?A lot more chilled out. Chill pills would be mandatory.👀 what was the most recent vivid dream you had?Okay I had two freaking weird ones the other night?In one I was a 10 y/o muslim girl going to a new primary school and while I was there I started raising money for a cancer charity.In the other I was taking a really hard A level maths exam and getting stressed and mad bc everyone kept talking and I couldnt finish it in time.☀ what do you like most about your best friend?EVERYTHING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Idk, I guess how forgiving and layed back she is. She always tries to understand and see things from your point of view.😘 talk about your crush or partnerLmao I'm alone 😂 I do have a crush but its a million miles from mutual so like, shes amazing but boi it hurts 😂💁 if someone was rude to you would you be rude back?Depends on how well I know them and what they're like tbh. I'll banter, but I avoid confrontation.🌟 what do you like about yourself? (3 things)😂😂😂 wow erm...1. I always try and put in all the energy I have if someone/something needs it2. I make loads of terrible puns its gr93. I really dont have any other qualities idk🐾 what are you scared of most? How will you overcome it?👏 I'm terrified of abandonment 👏 aaaand as of yet I have no idea how to deal with it ngl🎁 what never fails to make you happy?Really good stand up commedy or my favourite music💙 what annoys you about some people?Their complete lack of self-awareness. Idk, maybe I'm low key jealous too but srsly some people????😤 do you get angry easily?Yeah. I keep pretty good tabs on it so you probs wouldnt know it, but if something upsets me, chances are I'm hella pissed too.🐇 what do you always daydream about?Dramatic and upsetting situations or drunk situations 😂🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?1. Sort out equality and all that jazz2. Divide up the land more equally, bc it pisses me off that some people are living in tiny cramped shacks and others have 100 mile square farms.3. End capitalism and with that make all necessary services free.🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?Anon?✈ what is your dream city and why?I mean Ive always wanted to go to copenhagen but theres no guarantee its gonna be my fave. My fave so far is Amsterdam bc its so peaceful and the architecture is to die for.☕ talk about your ideal day?Spend it with my best friend/crush. Lay in bed late and be lazy and watch good TV/movies. Maybe go out in the afternoon to not go stir crazy and entertain ourselves. Stay up kinda late talking about deep shit, lying underneath the stars.🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?Ambivert!💧 when was the last time you cried?Yesterday lmao 😂 i havent gone more than 2 days without crying in the past week 😧 I just got myself into a nice Depression Episode.🎵 name 5 songs you like atm?Argh I havent listened to music in so long (7 days...) umm so things i wanna listen to- youth by daughter- voices by Motionless in white- living dead girl by rob zombie- corpse roads by keaton hensen- lost boy by troye sivan⚡ if you had any superpower what would it be and why?Mind reading bc my anxiety would be halved.💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?I'd tell myself to stop trying to fit in and be like everybody else because the people I know are just a tiny portion of the population and really aren't much to aspire to. I'd tell myself to drop all my shitty friends because it would stop me from dealing with a lot of crap later on. I'd point myself in the right direction of the better people 😂I'd teach myself how to stand up for myself and how to not take any crap.And I'd give myself a hug and tell myself it's okay not to be cishet, because maybe if I could turn back time and start to deal with it earlier I'd be okay with it now.💚 who are you jealous of and why?A lot of people really, with qualities I don't have.I suppose one kid in particular is like, everything i want to be. Kind, hillarious, confident, close to people I love. 💎 what would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? Why?Bravery or kindness?? Its hard to have one without the other. Also beauty ngl bc im fugly.🙊 what are you ashamed of?My gender and sexuality 👏🌺 which languages do you know? Which do you want to learn?I know english and spanish and I'm learning Danish. Hopefully once I'm okay at danish I can learn arabic. Ill be satisfied after that 😂☘ if you could be any fictional characters friend/lover who would it be and why?I mean, theres plenty of fictional lesbians where im like 😏👀 but honestly if I had to pick only one person I'd choose Kieren Walker from in the flesh bc he needs a friend and I relate to him so strongly.☁ talk about your dream universe.Mental and physical illness doesnt exist. People arent dicks. Everything is free. No one feels unloveable.💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?Idk I'm p much done for the day 😂 I've been helping out around the house all day tho🐬 if you could transform into any animal what would it be and why?I mean i might be biased but either a dog or a sloth bc they get to sleep all the time 😂🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike.Someone I was best friends with for 4 years suddenly turned around and stabbed me in the back, made up shit about me, arranged that all my friends not talk to me for a fortnight, sent group emails stuffed with emotional manipulation and blamed me for her suicidal thoughts. I nearly ended it. Now I get to watch my friends still loving her like she isn't the world's most heartless person. It makes my blood boil.😣 talk about something that has been making you depressed/angry/anxious.I'm staying with my best friend rn and I can't stand the thought of going home.🍪 what did you want to be as a kid and what do you want to be now?I wanted to be a nurse and now I wanna be a doctor 👏 variety 👏🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?I cant really eat sugar 😂 so fuck knows? Chocolate?🍑 what are you obsessed with?Brains, thought processes, psychopaths, graveyards and more 😂💘 what happens to you when youre stressed?I just get really emotional and start agressively making lists everywhere in an attempt to sort my life out.😪 what are you sick of?Humanity.🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?Yeah its terrible 😂 i hate anxiety but I also kinda love it when my heart races.💥 what are some unpopular opinions you have?I....dont? I cba with discourse lifes too short.☔ would you consider yourself a good person?I think anyone with good intentions is usually a good person so yeah😊 what do you do as hobbies?Sleep, binge watch netflix and blog 😂🎤 whats the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?👏👏👏 Mr Brightside 👏👏👏 what a jam 👏👏👏🐝 whats your worst trait?Being waaayyy too clingy.🌷 whats your mbti personality type and why do you think it suits you?ISFJ and yeah defo, its the defender and I feel that tbh🐶 send me 3 fictional people and ill choose my favourite.Anon?👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?Kaitlyn Alexander is my bae.Besides that I dont really....obsess over any celebrities? Eliza taylor is doing p good 😂 ummm also some youtubers? Do they count?🐴 opinion on __?Its a great bit of punctuation.🍋 do you consider yourself to be an emotional person?Lmfaoooooo YES📚 share 3 books you love and your favourite quotes from them.M8. Thats not gonna happen 😂 I love any book that makes me cry but I cannot quote a single word.😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? Does it work?Find a quiet corner, shut my eyes and listen to my Depression Playlist. It doesn't always make me feel better but it helps me ride it out.🙂 what thoughts keep you going when you're sad?The thoughts of uni and that I'll hopefully meet some great new people. Also my best friend. Just in general 😂🌎 which country do you live in?England.🐧 describe yourself in 3 words?Awkward, tall and shy.🙉 what quotes changed you?"Pick your fights" bc as much as its a meme it helps me chill outAlso "everything is temporary" and "the sun will rise and we will try again".💭 do you keep a diary?I have a personal blog which acts as a diary yeah💫 who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander!! (Listen theyre like the first nb representation I ever knew and I relate so much to everything they say and theyre so cute and talented)👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?I mean, my initial response is no. Because we're just bags of flesh made up of cells and when we die those cells die so theres nothing to live on.But tbh we know so little about the universe I'm open to the possibility of anything at this point.🎀 whats your fashion sense like?Dior. I know what clothes I like and think look good but I never like them on me.🎬 what are some of your favourite films?Deadpool, My sisters keeper, pitch perfect 2 ermm🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?UmmmmmmmmmmmmWhen I first got my bunny, that was an amazing day!!🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?Um my soulmate? Where are they at?

[bbarican]

major major major life update:

okay since im feeling way better compared to last night, i figured i would finally post about this cause to be honest hindi parin fully nagsisink in lahat ng nangyari nung tuesday but here it is anyway:

IM ACTUALLY FINALLY EMPLOYED YOU GUYS AND THATS SO CRAZY TO SAY OR TO EVEN THINK ABOUT

okay so, first of all i applied for this sales designer position (this isnt the one i was ranting about btw) for a well known brand/company that deals with modular kitchen and bathroom systems and luckily enough i got in! they really considered everything and the fact na i was a fresh graduate tapos they still took me in was just really heartwarming SO ito yung initial and first choice ko nung tuesday morning kahit na medyo kinakabahan ako kasi nga its a sales job and not necessarily design

tapos after telling my mom and my lola about the job offer, this hr manager from an interior design firm i applied to like weeks or months ago reached out to me again asking if i would want to take up the position of being the executive assistant of the principal designer who interviewed me! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK AS IN the minute i stopped talking about the first job offer, i got another one kaagad! now for this job offer, i was leaning towards accepting this more kasi ito, interior design firm talaga siya. kahit na yung main role ko is to be the assistant of the principal designer and kahit na if ever magiging minimal lang yung designing tasks ko, its better than going into a job i have no idea about naman. atleast dito, im working side by side with the principal designer herself and i get to learn more not only about interior designing itself but also the business aspect of it! so ayan excited na ko and everything

TAPOS MAY TUMAWAG ULIT ITO NA YUNG COMPANY THAT I RANTED ABOUT A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO surprisingly kahit na nanghula lang ako doon sa mga tests that she asked me to finish, she still called me back saying na she would like to endorse me to have a final interview with their hiring manager so at that time, inisip ko nalang na okay ill take the interview kasi wala naman na kong gagawin for the rest of the week so ayun thats what happened nung tuesday morning all of this happened in one single morning and my heart was racing so fast kasi nga i was so overwhelmed!

and to make a rather long story short, after receiving the official job offer of the interior design firm, declining the two sales jobs, i am officially employed ♡ whats funny too is that my initial start date was supposed to be yesterday as in i was literally in the shower when they sent me the job offer and the girl who emailed me literally called me right after too and so i kindly asked if i could start on monday next week and luckily enough they said yes and im just really really really excited to finally be able to start working na

its hella scary, but at the same time, i know in my heart that i can ace this job every single day and i know that i still have a lot to learn but at the same time i cant wait to just be the best version of myself for work

if youve made it to this part of my ridiculously long post, thanks for reading. wish me luck on monday?

i hope you guys are doing okay!