#Is Workday good for HR?

[black-water-simping-ships]

so in june i had 1 week of vacation and in the other 3 weeks i managed to make over 20 hrs of overtime. slap my ass and call me a load-bearing rubber band 'cause i'm stretched

[thezombieprostitute]

Imagine this:

accountant!reader x IT tech!Jensen x manager!Andy x CEO!Lloyd

The intent was to write something short and sweet but smutty. The result is approximately 2200 words with a ton of smut! I blame Lloyd.

Warnings: Power dynamics; Creepy boss; Smut, smut, SMUT! Minors DNI!!!!

“Thank you, Jake,” you half whisper, half moan into his ear. “I really needed this.” You’re not normally one for hookups in the supply closets but you’d had such a stressful day you really needed to let off some steam. Thankfully Jake was always happy to help you out. And he was very good at helping you feel good. 

The two of you had a friends-with-benefits situation that had been carefully negotiated and navigated. Sometimes you got the sense that Jake wanted more and that’s why he was so eager to please. But you were both quick to talk if either of you felt things were getting too serious. It definitely made office parties a lot more fun. Everyone else was enjoying the cheap food and you and Jake got to go to a private office and actually take your time together.

You both do try to be careful at the office but your manager, Andy, has been really ramping up the sad sack shtick with all the women in your department, desperate for a date or some feminine attention and pity. You could only take so much, especially when your coworkers pointed out to him that you’re single. Traitors. 

Every day he would ask you about your plans. You tried being polite and got nowhere. You finally told him, directly, that you weren’t interested in him last Friday. Today you were called into a meeting with HR about “appropriate workplace behavior”. They told you they’d received complaints from your manager about flirting with him despite him telling you “no”. You smiled tightly and nodded, staying quiet and signing the documents saying you’d been talked to. 

You texted Jake on your phone to meet you in the hall closet. One of the things you appreciated? He didn’t ask questions, he just showed up and gave you what you needed. He really seemed to like it when you would repeatedly whisper “thank you’s” into his ear. It’s only a quickie but it definitely helps. You kiss Jake’s cheek and thank him as he blushes. You leave at different times and head back to your respective desks.

 You check your email and find yourself looking at an appointment with Lloyd Hansen, the company’s CEO. Thinking it must’ve been in error you hit the “Decline” button and add the most polite note that you can think of. Just a few minutes after you get yet another appointment notice with Mr. Hansen. No explanatory note. You’re extra grateful to Jake because your brain immediately jumps to Andy complaining about you to Mr. Hansen because your HR visit wasn’t enough of a punishment. 

The appointment is for tomorrow so you silently stew for the rest of the workday. At home you treat yourself to your favorite meal and shows. Your sleep is full of stressful dreams and you wake up more exhausted than when you went to bed. Not wanting to look like a mess in front of Mr. Hansen, you make sure to take extra care of your makeup and clothing choices. Working as hard as your caffeine deprived can to balance “I’m okay” with “I’m not trying to flirt with anyone”. It’s never an easy task.

As you log on to your computer you smell Andy’s cologne and internally wince. You turn to face him, “yes, Mr. Barber?”

“Easy there, tiger,” he chastised. “I just want to make sure that you’re doing okay after that HR meeting.”

Gritting your teeth you reply, “why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well I know a lot of people can have a kind of whiplash when they realize their behavior isn’t acceptable,” he explains in an obviously condescending tone. “I’ll understand if you want to take some vacation time.”

“Mr. Barber,” you seethe, “I think what would help me the most is keeping some distance between us at all times in the office.”

“Okay,” he scoffs. “Just remember who it is that HR listens to.” He walks away and you find yourself trying to not throw or break something. 

As soon as you can you head straight to Mr. Hansen’s office. His secretary lets you in, though he is not yet in. You should probably be upset that he’s late for the meeting he insisted on having with you but it’s better than sitting in your cubicle waiting for Andy to strike. 

The quiet is broken by Mr. Hansen storming into the office, yelling at someone on the phone. You recognize him immediately if only because of the mustache. “And I told you to handle it, Six! Get your head out of your ass and fix it!” He lets out a small huff as he listens to the person on the phone. “I don’t give a shit. It should’ve been handled weeks ago. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a meeting.” He hangs up without waiting for a response and turns to you with a smile that makes you feel like prey caught in a trap.

“So you’re the girl Barber was complaining out,” he starts. You’re unable to hold back your grimace and he laughs. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I don’t give a shit about that cuck.” You tilt your head in confusion. “See, he tried to play up the whole “women don’t know how to take a compliment” thing but I was able to see through him. He’s pathetic and you weren’t having it. Even flat out told him, “no”. That’s something I respect. Not everyone would do that to their boss.”

He sits down in his chair and continues, “so I started looking into you and imagine my surprise when I find out you and Jensen are hooking up!” Your eyes widen in shock and you start stammering before he holds out a hand, gesturing for you to stop. “You’re not in trouble for that. Hell if I could get laid instead of attending those lame work parties I absolutely would. Which is why I brought you here.” 

He leans his elbows on the desk, “I want in on whatever fuck-buddy deal you and Jensen got going on.”

“S..sir, I,” you’re at a loss for words. 

“Tell you what,” he slaps the desk and stands up, “I’ll make it easy for you. Either you agree to be my own fuck-buddy, occasionally still get some good stuff from Jensen, or I’ll make you Barber’s personal secretary.”

“What if I quit instead?”

“Then I’ll go ahead and fire Jensen,” he quips. “It would be a damn shame, though. Jakey is one of the best IT guys we got. Likely up for a promotion that would get him a private office.”

“Can I talk to Jake first,” you plead. “It is part of our arrangement that we communicate changes before they’re implemented.”

“You know what, sure. I can respect that a deal is a deal.” He goes to the phone on his desk and tells his secretary to send Jake up.

When Jake does arrive he’s shocked to see you. At Lloyd’s gesture he closes the door behind him. Lloyd doesn’t let you speak and lays everything out for him like he did you. 

Jake looks at you, “it’s…umm…I appreciate you looking out for me and my job,” he starts. “But it’s also your body and I would never want you to accept something like this just for me.”

“You know, Jakey here has a point,” Lloyd interjects. “You really don’t know what you’re in for with me. How about a demonstration? I’ll even let Jake join in to help keep you comfortable.”

Knowing that you were being watched shouldn’t excite you so much. The fact that both of these men wanted you was making you wet. You straddle Jake in his chair and start making out with him while taking off your clothes and grinding your hips against his crotch. 

Jake moans as he takes off your bra with practiced ease, “you’re sure about this?” 

“Feel how wet I am, Jake.” He obliges and sticks his fingers inside your panties. He rubs your clit and you arch your breasts into his face as his eyes widen at the wetness he finds there. 

“Holy shit,” he breathes. He gets a dark glint in his eye that you don’t entirely recognize. He removes his hand and starts to unbutton your pants. “You gotta taste her, Mr. Hansen. Sweetest pussy and it’s already drenched.”

You hadn’t realized Lloyd was standing behind you until he grabbed your breasts, lifting you a little as he nibbled your neck. He pulls you off of Jake and the two of them finish undressing you before setting you on Lloyd’s desk. You’re on your back, your head hanging over one side, your legs spread wide for the both of them. 

Lloyd doesn’t hesitate and dives tongue first into your pussy. Your reaction is immediate as he uses his mustache to tickle your clit. You throw your head back and moan before you’re able to stifle it. 

He pulls away from you, “don’t worry about noise, sweetheart. My secretary is gone for the afternoon and no one else would dare be on this floor.” He turns to Jake, “you were right! This is a damn tasty snack.” He gets back to it and you don’t hold back your sounds. It was such a relief to get to be as loud as you wanted. 

“Fuck, I love those sounds,” Jake groans.

You reach out to him, “your cock, Jake? Please, can I stroke your cock?”

“Love those sounds, too,” he grins as he undoes his belt. You look to Lloyd to see if he has any objections but he’s too focused on licking up all of your juices. Jake is already half hard and your hands know just how to get him fully erect. His hands start playing with your tits, gently pinching, pulling and fondling. 

The two of them quickly bring you to the brink of orgasm, then Lloyd sticks two of his fingers inside you and it pushes you over the edge. You cum loudly and Lloyd keeps scissoring his fingers while sucking on your clit, enjoying the show. When the aftershocks fade, he removes his hand and backs away just a little.

“Jensen, you take her mouth,” he orders. “I’m gonna make a mess of this pussy and I want to hear her choking on your cock while I do.”

You let go of Jake’s erection and he starts pushing himself into your mouth, grunting and moaning as he does so. He’s careful with you, like always, and places your hand on his thigh so you can signal if it gets too much.

Lloyd, however, lines himself up with your opening and quickly thrusts himself fully inside. If your mouth wasn’t so full of Jake’s cock, you’d likely have screamed. They fucked both of your holes with abandon and you were loving every second of it. Occasionally Jake would ask for a status and you’d tap his thigh twice for “all good”. 

“Not gonna last much longer,” Lloyd admitted. “This pussy is so fucking tight. I see why you risked your job for her.” He started rubbing your clit and you careened towards another orgasm. As soon as Jake came in your mouth you were done for. You tightened your legs around Lloyd as you came hard and swallowed all of Jake’s spend. You heard Lloyd mumbling, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” before he came with a yell. 

You’re still in a daze as both men pull out of you. Lloyd whistles, “now that’s a pretty picture. What say we get you cleaned up?”

“What the fuck?!” A voice from the office door crashes your post-orgasm euphoria. You look up and see Andy, standing in the doorway.

“Ah, Barber,” Lloyd says as he zips his pants back up. “Right on time.”

“What?!” Jake exclaims as you look, wide-eyed, at Lloyd. 

“You see, Andy,” he walks over to your manager and claps him on the shoulder. “You’re a complete cuck and we both know it.” Andy tries to protest but Lloyd cuts him off. “This is the closest you’re ever going to get to some pussy. Now be a good boy and clean up the mess I made.” He throws Andy to his knees in front of your spread pussy. 

Andy groans at the sight and you feel a stir of courage. “Well,” you scold. “Are you going to be a good boy and do as you're told or am I going to have to clean myself up?” His eyes darken but you don’t back down. He dives into your cum filled pussy and starts cleaning you up.

“Good boy,” Lloyd smirks. “Probably the only way you can actually please a woman.” He looks at Jake, “whenever you’re done with her, call her cuck over to clean up. Sound good?”

Jake looks to you and sees you writhing with pleasure, “I think so.”

Part 1.5

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would.

[letteredlettered]

What an interesting topic. I’ve heard that a large percentage of employees cite their bosses as the reason they leave their jobs. What are some ways companies try to mitigate this?

They don't.

I can really only answer for my company, which cared about retention (of employees) a lot. Many companies do, because it costs much less to recruit/onboard/train as little as possible, and because it can be hard to get the work done without adequate staffing. I'd add that my company had one area in which staffing was a nation-wide crisis; also my company was in the public sector and was in the press a lot, which mean they cared about their image.

They still didn't do that much to ensure that people had good bosses. That has less to do with this company and more to do with the structure of business in capitalist society. This is a big reason HR is never going to be that helpful unless you've got a tiny company that, completely by luck, has mostly good folks.

A company isn't going to take a generalized point about folks leaving their job because they don't like their bosses as fact. Companies feel they are too diverse and the financial risk is too great to pour money into something if they don't have hard data, so the first step to retention is getting data. You would think exit interviews would be really informative, but those require a lot of time which equals staff which equals money. Some employers do them but mine would only do one if you asked, and then they did nothing with the info. This is because the company's mentality was "well, if you're leaving you're probably really dissatisfied and we don't want to hear about that." I know this makes no sense. But in general, not just in the business but in this society (formed by capitalism), the idea seems to be if you're dissatisfied it's your fault. Meanwhile the company is interested in data about why people stay; they figure if folks are satisfied, that's the company's fault and they want to keep doing the same so they can retain employees.

Our company had a huge employee satisfaction survey they did every year that included questions about employee opinions about the company, their colleagues, and their bosses. You get emails to remind you to take it and if you can't get time in the workday, bosses are supposed to allow time for it. Some problems with that are you still have to remember to take it; if you don't have time you have to ask a boss you might not like to get that time; some folks at my company literally had jobs that literally are life or death so it can be hard to take time to take a survey; the survey is only in English; the survey is only in the computer; the reminders are only in email. So you have to be a moderately good English speaker who regularly checks email and knows how to use a computer and gets regular access to a computer for the company to get your data about your satisfaction. As you can imagine, our most vulnerable employees often get missed.

If the survey showed that folks were really dissatisfied with a particular boss, that boss got put into a series of trainings. Training is good, but US businesses (and plenty of employees themselves) seemed to have latched onto the idea that training is the be-all, end-all of improvement. Many of us saw this in response to the discussions about EDI (equity, diversity, and inclusion) that came about in 2020; business promised to be anti-racist and had some EDI seminars to prove it, and that was all. Why is it like this? What is really needed to make bosses better bosses? And why isn't that being done?

When it comes to "why is it like this": recruiting and retaining good leaders is hard. The way someone becomes a boss in almost any organization is a) management likes them, and/or b) they were good at a job in a lower level or different department, or c) they come from the outside with a good resume and what sounds like good experience. But a lot of time, management likes people who aren't disruptive, and sometimes folks who aren't disruptive are the folks who are not thinking for themselves and not asking questions and doing everything the way they're told even when it doesn't make sense. That doesn't make a good leader. As for folks who are good at the lower level job in the hierarchy or in another department, they aren't always good at managing. It's a different skill set, but I've seen a lot of leaders and employees make this mistake. They think that that the folks who are great at the job should be promoted, and honestly that really doesn't make sense. And last but not least, folks who get hired from the outside are a complete crapshoot, because experience with leadership does not necessarily a good leader make.

As for what is needed to make bosses better bosses, imo what you would really need is someone embedded within the department who is managed by the boss and is doing the same work as the other employees, but also has the training and experience to evaluate what the boss is doing well and isn't doing well, and then also has the authority and buy-in to work with the boss so that the boss can shadow and learn the leadership skills they need. Then, if the boss can't improve, there would need to be the will within the org to fire or demote that boss, and often that will doesn't exist because recruiting bosses is so hard and the training is usually monumental.

Side note, what I'm describing is what consultants should do and normally don't. Consultants come in and ask a lot of questions and do focus groups and maybe some observations, but they are not in there doing the work understanding what it is like to live in this world, and without that I frankly find a lot of the work they do useless. That said, consultants are almost always hired to identify inefficiencies; they're not really there to make it a more satisfying job. Imo, the greatest efficiency is a satisfied worker, but it is hard to get the data to point that way, and again, companies only want data, and again, your dissatisfaction is your own fault.

Another side note, this is why unions are so great. Union stewards are folks who work for the company but can act as a union representative. This means they're embedded in the department and doing the work everyone does, but they can also at times step outside that role and carry the authority of an outside entity that does have some power to use against the employer. This is why all employees should have a union.

So, why aren't companies doing this? As you can imagine, hiring the ambassador to embed within a department, training them, paying them for their time--all of these are just too cost prohibitive to justify when they only thing you're getting out of it is employee satisfaction. It is also possible to improve employee satisfaction by paying employees more, which is in fact why I stayed in this job I hated as long as I did. I was getting paid so much that it just did not make sense to walk away without a firm plan in place. In the end, paying employees more costs less than ensuring they have a good boss.

I have lots more to say about this, but I've said a lot already, so if anyone has follow up questions, feel free to send more asks.

[laurentidal]

Monitored Activity

The email had come from IT right at the beginning of the workday with the subject line "Attn HR. Problematic Monitored Activity."

Dear Miss Villanova, In accordance with company policy, we are writing to inform you that employee Joseph Ulish was found to be acting in violation of the company's internet usage policies during our last audit of online activity. We are attaching evidence for your review and action. Thank you, Martin Shore, IT Dept. Head

Lily gave a long sigh. It was the first time an employee had been caught looking at porn on company time, though it was certainly bound to happen eventually. She took a breath and gave herself a little hope. Who knows. Maybe it wasn't porn at all. Maybe Joe was on poker stars or he was shit talking the company on social media.

But as she opened the attached list of websites, she knew that those hopes were false ones.

Sixty-two websites were enumerated and organized by the date of first access. Accompanying the list was a breakdown of how many times each site had been visited and how long he had spent there. Lily whistled softly to her empty office. With these kind of numbers, it was a miracle Joe had gotten any work done. At the very least, he should be getting fired for theft of time.

She opened the first site and was shocked to see only text. Only a glance would tell you that it was almost certainly smut, but still. If he was going to try to get away with porn at work, text was certainly the most effective method for staying under the radar. And what exactly was "erotic mind control?" Out of curiosity, Lily found herself reading the whole way through the story. She wasn't too prudish to admit to herself that he might have been onto something here. Certainly not appropriate for work! But this was certainly… having an effect, shall we say. Perhaps there was some unidentified fetishes still hiding in that brain of hers.

Site number two was actual porn. Just straight up pornography videos. She closed it quickly, lingering just long enough to catch sight of a few choice body parts. She was human after all.

Sites three through eighteen were all social media pages once again dedicated to this mind control stuff. It seemed there were an impossible number of sub-genre's to this already incredibly niche thing. Lily was fascinated. The pages were stories and videos and audio notes. Most fascinating were the pages seemingly dedicated entirely to flashing gifs and spinning graphics. She found herself scrolling through them slower and slower.

She never noticed when her left hand had left her keyboard.

More porn. More smut. More porn. More spirals. More spirals. More spirals.

By the time Lily reached the fiftieth website, her pants were around her ankles. She didn't know how many times she'd brought herself to completion. Her eyes were glassy and unblinking. The words in the stories and the images and comics burned into her psyche. And oh. The spirals.

The spirals.

She wished she could stop and stare at each one forever. But she had a job to do. She had a list to complete. Link sixty-two opened to a website that Joseph had accessed just this morning before she'd arrived. The site was a full screen spiral. Black and white with streaks of red and blue that made it seem more real than reality. And in the middle there was a button that simply read "Submit?"

She clicked it immediately. The button disappeared, leaving her staring at the spiral alone. She had no more work to do. The list was complete. She could just stay like this forever.

The door to her office opened and Joseph entered, followed by Martin.

"I'm so happy you were the one who got to review my file, Miss Villanova," Joseph said. He snapped his fingers and Martin locked the office door and began to undress. "Martin here was the first to comb through my activities. He did just a good job cataloging everything, don't you think? He had to look so long and so close to compile that report. He was shooting his first load before he'd finished reading that first story, weren't you?"

"Yes, Master," Martin said dully as the pair approached.

"He tastes quite nice, Lily," Joseph said right in her ear as she helplessly masturbated to the spiral. "You'll see."

Thanks for reading! If you are a fan of my work, consider buying me a coffee. Any contribution is insanely appreciated. 💖

[mimicmimikyuwrites]

Good Enough - Edward Nashton (The Riddler) x Fem!Reader

Summary: Edward has never felt good enough for anyone or anything. When the self-help resources fail to work and the feelings of inadequacy grow stronger by the day, he begins to doubt that he's even worthy of being loved, but you're there to comfort him and remind him of just how much he matters.

Contents/Possible Warnings: Minor spoilers for Riddler: Year One, a lot of angst, hurt with comfort, fluff, mentions of smut (but no actual smut)

Repulsive. Broken. Unwanted. Not good enough. The words he told himself had buried their way into his thoughts, repeating themselves like a twisted mantra that never ended, even with the constant use of every self-help tip and coping skill he had learned. That same mantra had been there so long that he couldn't remember when it had first started.

Maybe it was never something new at any point; maybe it was just the truth that he kept trying to deny with ledgers filled line to line with positive affirmations that he could never convince himself of. 'You are good enough.' No, he wasn't. He never would be. He was fighting a losing battle against himself.

At least at the end of the day, he had someone to come back home to, someone who told him every day how much she loved him. Before he had met you his only form of salvation was his puzzles, like it had always been since he was a young child. With you here, though, he had more than just riddles and crosswords online and in the local paper to look forward to after a long workday. You were the only good thing that Gotham City had to offer. You were an angel, his angel.

He unlocked the door to his apartment and closed it behind him, a smile making its way onto his face at the sound of your shoes against the wooden floor as you made your way from the bedroom and toward him. You grinned widely as you saw him, your arms outstretched and wide open before you wrapped him in a tight hug.

"Hi," He murmured in greeting, hugging you back as he nuzzled his face into your soft, beautiful hair. You smiled even wider, looking up at him with eyes that always made him melt with just a single look into his own. "How was work, Eddie?" You questioned, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"It was—" He paused, trying to find the right words. Shit. It was shit. His boss was a condescending, passive-aggressive, arrogant prick who slacked off more than he worked and still managed to be more successful in his career than Edward had ever been. As much as he wanted to vent, he didn't want to burden you with more than he already was by being with you.

"Fine." He finally decided, putting on a fake smile. "Same old calculations and whatnot. Nothing interesting." He lied. It was another day of statements from Zach that were insulting enough to strike a nerve, but not obvious enough to report to HR. Not like it'd matter, it would probably get swept under the rug and forgotten about. Some days Edward wondered if his superior was actually the pompous dick he thought him to be or just an idiot with confidence.

"Oh." You could see right that smile on his face. Something was bothering him like it had been for days now and you could tell. It broke your heart knowing he was struggling and that same struggle left him unable to feel okay confiding in anyone. "Are you sure...?" You questioned, a hand moving upwards to cup his cheek gently, the man leaning into your comforting touch.

He had lied to you. How could you lie to her? You manipulative, disgusting freak. As the thoughts filled his head, guilt washed over him. God, he didn't deserve you. He didn't deserve your affection, and most certainly not your love. Did he deserve any love at all? Was there anything to love about—

"Eddie?" Came your soft voice, the sound like that of an angel. He broke himself out of his thoughts, smiling at you again. "I think I'm gonna go pick us up some takeout for dinner. What do you want?" He changed the subject, moving away from you and back towards the door.

"No." You said a bit sternly, grabbing his hand and pulling him over to the nearby couch, sitting down with him. "You're not getting out of this that easily. Tell me what's wrong, Eddie."

"It's not you, I promise that it's not." He insisted quickly, afraid he had upset you with his earlier lie. She's going to leave you. She never should've been yours to begin with. You ruin every good thing you get. He grew tense as the fears filled him and threatened to consume him whole. You were so perfect, so deserving of every amazing thing the world had to offer and more, and he was just... Edward Nashton.

"Woahwoahwoah!" Your hands shot forward at the sight of tears beginning to well up in his eyes, your thumbs wiping them away as they fell. "I'm not mad, honey. I just—" You stopped, unsure how to phrase things. "I'm worried about you. You can tell me anything, as cliche as that sounds. You're not a burden to me; you never have been, and you never will be."

He buried his head into your shoulder, sobbing into it as your arms came to hold him close to you. "Why? Why do you love me? I–I don't understand..." He cried softly against you. "All of these years you've spent with me and I can't comprehend why. Is it out of pity?" He asked. While to anyone else it would've sounded like a bold accusatory remark, you knew that the question was genuine. He needed to know.

"Look at me, Edward." You commanded gently, him moving so he could face you and meet your eyes with his own. The sight of tears running down his face and wettening his glasses broke your heart. "Three years we've been together. In those three years, I've fallen more in love with you than I have anyone else. We've made love more times than I can count. I even wait for the day you'll put a ring on my finger, no matter which one it is. It could be made out of scrap metal for all I care, as long as it's from you.

You're smart, Eddie. Tell me, does everything I just listed sound like I only pity you? Or does it sound like I'm head-over-heels in love with the man in front of me? You are good enough. I love you, Edward Nashton."

That made him cry even harder, but you were there to hold him, just as you had been since you stumbled into his life. If he wasn't good enough for himself, then at least he was good enough for his angel. You wanted a ring on your finger? He'd get you one in due time. Anything for the one who showed him that he could be loved, that he wasn't some type of vermin in the cesspool that was Gotham City. You are good enough. For once, he believed it.

[kaibacorpintern]

tips and tricks on writing the kaibacorp environment

yes, this is pedantic. but more than that, YES i love small background details that lend a greater sense of accuracy and structure to a fictional world. this is not a complete or exhaustive list. (you are, of course, free to ignore and do whatever you want.)

Kaiba Corporation does not have "clients" - Kaiba doesn't do project work for hire; he's not an attorney or a consultant or an architect, he doesn't do billable hours. his meetings are most likely with his investors or business partners like Pegasus, with his board or c-suite executives (e.g., his chief technology officer, his chief legal officer, his chief human resources officer, etc.), various departmental meetings he might find interesting, and so on. Kaiba Corporation does have customers (the people who BUY the duel disk)/consumers (the people who USE the duel disk) but people who go to Kaiba Land will probably be referred to as visitors or guests. his primary responsibility, as the CEO of a publicly-traded corporation, is creating (financial) value for his shareholders and investors. (whether or not he gives a fuck about this responsibility is up to you.) .

Unless it's something he is responsible for, like quarterly earnings calls and shareholder calls, Kaiba doesn't have to finish or work on reports; he has very few deadlines he himself has to meet; he is not reviewing anything except the most important documents. Even then, as the CEO/president, someone is probably writing the most important documents FOR him and then handing it over for him to present or read off later - which he might revise/adjust as he likes. Kaiba's workdays most likely consist mainly of meetings where people report on how things are going to him, setting business strategy with the c-suite, meeting with the more heavy-hitting investors (for the drama: 'we will withdraw our investments unless you do X,') and writing a bajillion emails. .

Kaiba and Mokuba do not do any hiring or interviewing except for c-suite positions, because those are the people they work with most directly every day, and the people they most need to know are capable, qualified, and competent. they are way too busy to sit down with each one of the 38783 entry-level candidates Kaiba Corp combs through every day. for positions like their executive assistants or chief of staff, who might manage day-to-day schedules and do things like order lunch, an HR manager narrows the field to several qualified candidates and THEN Kaiba would make the final decision on who he wants to hire. .

No one is getting past the front desk at a place like Kaiba Corp without an appointment or a badge. Any given visitor X has to check in at the front desk - the front desk receptionist will look them up in the appointment register, give them a badge, and then let them through. For the c-suite level, or anywhere Kaiba takes his most important/official meetings (like his own office), there might be a second lobby/second desk controlling access. .

Some important dates on Kaiba's and Mokuba's calendars, when the pressure is on and they might be working much harder than usual (for the stress and the drama): - end of quarter/EOQ (4x a year) - end of fiscal year/EOFY. may not be aligned with calendar year - for example, the end of fiscal year might be march 30 - quarterly earnings call (4x a year) - yearly earnings call. Kaiba himself, or someone very high up, like a c-suite exec or a VP, will lead these calls - for things like duel disks, the months leading up to the holiday retail season (when they're preparing for greater demand on consumer product goods) and the holiday retail season itself - for things like Kaiba Land, the summer vacation season, but largely dependent on where their parks ARE (southern california when the weather is nice year-round? tokyo when you have colder weather in the winter and slightly lower attendance? etc.) .

VERY IMPORTANT: Kaiba has an office minifridge. imagine whatever you want in here. his executive assistants or office managers will keep this well-stocked. .

Kaiba, or Mokuba, might lead the quarterly "all-hands meeting" - which is an internal meeting for all employees. for a place like kaibacorp, which KT said has ~2,000 employees, this might be held in a large hall/auditorium. things that might happen at the all-hands meeting: hiring updates (we hired 300 new people in the EMEA region), new mission statements, reiteration of core company values, sharing the company's progress on various OKRs/objectives & key results or key targets (duel disk 2.0 released this year to great acclaim and we made 34.5 billion dollars! suck it nintendo!), public (and potentially anonymous) question-and-answer session at the end, where Kaiba or Mokuba might field employee questions. .

Kaiba or Mokuba might also be responsible for a weekly or monthly all-staff email keeping the entire company apprised of announcements, new partnerships, new business ventures, progress on whatever, new investments, etc. again, someone else (like a marketing manager) might write this for them and send it over for their review/adjustments, but the email officially comes from them. i personally like to imagine Kaiba writes some absolutely bonkers staff emails

[sapphicscholar]

Hey there! With everyone posting their post-s3 Hacks fics now, I figured I'd shake things up a little with this multi-chapter X-Files AU! You don't need to have any knowledge of the original show (though there are Easter eggs dropped in for those who do) - this is more my playing in the world of the show but telling my own story than of trying to recreate the plot of TXF beat by beat.

Updates every Sunday unless the tag starts quieting down in a few weeks, in which case I'll probably bump to 2x/week updates :)

Chapter Preview:

Ava glances down at the slip of paper in her hands again. “B10.” The letters are scribbled in blue pen. The fuckers hadn’t even bothered to type up her new assignment on real letterhead or anything.

In the elevator, Ava’s finger hovers over the button for the basement level for a long moment before she jabs at G. If they’re not even going to pretend like this assignment is anything other than the death knell of a once-promising career, she doesn’t owe them a full 9-5 workday either. Besides, she’s pretty sure that the cute barista who works the morning shifts at Dolcezza was giving off flirty vibes last week, and she could really use the pick me up after the week she’s had. Not that she’s more than a day into it. Fuck.

Still, a good matcha latte is enough to fix most days a little bit, and even though Sam hadn’t been working, Ava decides it was the right decision. She almost isn’t resentful as she stabs at B and feels the elevator trundle down to the rarely used basement level of the Hoover Building.

Even though she’s pretty sure the janitorial staff hits all the floors, the air down here feels dusty. Like, call a doctor and order an inhaler levels of dusty. She sniffles a little as she peers down the hallway until she finds office 10, which she thinks might actually be the only office down here. With a grunt of effort and a bump of her hip, she manages to shove open the heavy door without having to put down her latte or her phone or the Post-it. She’s busy enough celebrating her small victory that she barely notices the other body in the room until a loud, “Excuse you,” startles Ava enough to have her latte slipping from her hand and crashing to the floor.

“Fuck!” Ava yells, watching as eight dollars spills across the carpeted floor—and, oh god, carpet? No wonder it smells like the 70s down here.

“Are you just gonna watch that? Pick it up!”

Ava jumps into action, grabbing her mostly empty cup from the ground and tossing it into the trash. It’s only then that she properly notices the woman who’s been yelling at her. She’s dressed impeccably in black suit pants, heels, and a satiny blouse thing, and Ava wonders how the hell she got lost and ended up down here instead of wherever she belongs. Ava’s bet is on legal. Maybe HR… A shame. She’s pretty hot, but probably way too into rule following and chain of command shit to be fun.

[guppygiggles]

Like Real People Do, Part 2! ♡ (Casper x Avery)

☁️ Summary: Casper waits for Avery to make good on his promise to visit, and gets more than they bargained for!

☁️ Warnings: Suggestive language, mild tickling (please do not interact with this if you're a minor!)

This is a series now!

Part 1

Part 2 *you are here

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

If you just got here and want to know more about my characters, you can read my comic starting right here!

Everything that hurt, always hurt more the second day.

I sat up in bed, pain wrapping around my middle like a boa constrictor, squeezing agony into my bones. It was four a.m. again, but now it was Monday; a workday.

I grabbed my phone and opened my company's intranet page, hastily navigating to the HR section of the site and putting in for a sick day, followed by an email to my boss and coworkers.

Good morning,

I am not feeling well and will not be in today. All incidents assigned to me are up-to-date with notes. In case of emergency, please text me.

Thank you,

[deadname]

I stared at my reflection in the dirty bathroom mirror. My teal hair looked like the aftermath of a fork stuck into an electrical outlet, and there were pale violet circles under my eyes. While they were genetic, they had become even more visible since my insomnia started. Lifting my shirt, I looked at my stomach, where a bruise like an arm of the Milky Way bloomed in shades of blue and purple, fading to yellowish green at the frayed border. I clattered three Excedrin into my palm and swallowed them dry.

My apartment didn't have a dining area, so I sat on my green-corduroy couch as I peeled an orange. Aside from the hum of the air conditioning unit, it was quiet.

What the hell happened yesterday?

Given the shape and location of the bruise, I felt pretty certain that I had, indeed, crashed my skateboard into the pier's guardrail.

"Oh, shit! My skateboard!" I remembered dismally. It was probably at the bottom of the ocean by now, waterlogged and unsalvageable. Unlike most other skaters I knew, who often had a quiver of five or six boards, I only had one; a drop-through longboard that wasn't too long, which meant it was perfect for my short stance. It was the first board I'd learned to ride, and I'd saved up for months to afford it. My heart sank as I remembered how much research I had done to find the perfect beginner skateboard, and the graphic I had so carefully selected -- a stylized depiction of a person surfing beneath a cloudy, pastel sunrise.

Sunrise. Clouds.

The rest of my memories from the previous day surged back.

"Avery!"

I nearly choked on an orange slice as I glimpsed the microwave's digital clock. It was five a.m. now.

"Sunset time Port Oleander," I googled frantically, the search engine responding with cruel indifference, "seven-thirty p.m."

My fingers counted the hours: fourteen and a half. I collapsed back into the couch as impatience like a cartoon anvil fell on me. How could I possibly wait that long?

Memories of the lighthouse assailed me as I slumped, stunlocked, on the couch; wet brick, old paper, bergamot, sea spray. An embarrassment of books. Sunlight glinting off bits of ice in Avery's swirling, translucent head. His huge, sincere, almost goofy smile. His laugh.

My stomach twisted with a swell of emotion so strong it was almost painful as I recalled the sensation of Avery's warm, boisterous laugh vibrating my ribcage. I wanted - no, I needed - to hear it again and again and again. My fingernails dug into the couch cushion as I fought to gather myself.

"This is just infatuation... right?"

I wasn't exactly a stranger to romance. I'd had partners here and there, but admittedly, the termination of my previous relationship over two years ago had left me unsure that falling in love was, well. For me.

The initial "spark" that seemed a crucial part of attraction for other people, for me, was apparently defunct; attraction did not happen often, and when it did, it was more a slow and methodical building of a home, less a match igniting an all-consuming fire. Love, intimacy and trust were all building bricks, predicated upon a wrought-iron foundation of knowing a person well, forming a bond as friends over time.

Physical intimacy, itself, was a whole 'nother ballgame. As a solitary person, most physical touch -- even mundane -- carried a weight of closeness that was not always comfortable or welcome, but was embarrassingly out of my control. I recalled my recent visit to the doctor, cringing a bit. Though I was loath to admit it, even brushing hands with the grocery store clerk as they handed me my change left a lingering sensation that I had to fight to ignore. I wasn't the type to hug a stranger; I wasn't the type to even hug my friends unless we'd spent significant time together. I certainly didn't think about ti...

My ears suddenly grew hot.

Was I already thinking about... that? With Avery?

Avery's hand holding mine over his kitchen table, his palm cool and soft, the mysterious and silent storm rushing beneath his skin. His gentle gaze that, despite his obvious years, held an innocent curiosity. His playful-yet-shy bravado as he introduced himself with a flourish of his hand, the way he so effortlessly scooped me off the ground. I wondered if his skin felt the same everywhere else... on his body, and on mine.

"Oh, no. We just met, we are NOT doing this," I argued, trying to appeal to my own sense of reason,"you're just gonna have to tough this out, Casper. Don't rush into things and scare him off, this is probably just a crush you're going to get over once you get to know him."

"But I've never even had a crush before, I don't know what to do!"

"Dude, just be regular! Just hang out with him like normal and see what he's like! I don't know, take him to the fair or something!"

"Is that a good way to get to know someone you're attracted to?!"

"I don't know, I'm you!"

I lowered my reeling head into my hands, suddenly regretting eating that orange as my stomach churned. Things were happening so fast. I looked at the clock again -- agonizingly, only an hour had passed.

A horrible thought occured to me, then:

What if Avery didn't feel the same?

"Don't go down that road," my internal monologue chided, "you have no idea how he feels. Don't spiral out of control."

"Why would he even be interested in me? I'm weird! I spend all my time by myself, I'm chubby, I barely have any talent, I don't even have any friends since I moved here! Not to mention how much trauma and baggage I have-"

"See, this is exactly what I'm talking about! Stop it! Everyone has baggage, even Avery probably does. You don't have to earn other people's love! You're good enough just for being who you are, and if he would only love you for what you can do for him, he wouldn't be loving you for the right reasons, anyway. Now get up and channel this nervous energy into something productive for god's sake, before you burn a hole in the couch."

I stood.

I cleaned up the coffee table.

I vacuumed my carpet. I washed every thread of clothing I owned, and my bedding. I did the dishes, cleaned every window and mirror and dusted every surface. Raiding the fridge and freezer, I threw out everything that was expired, then I alphabetized my spice cabinet. I mopped, scrubbed, wiped, and folded until my apartment looked like it was straight out of an IKEA catalogue.

Then I left, and ran every errand I had been putting off. I finally emptied my mailbox, bursting with junkmail (I was sure that our postal worker just loved me). I got my car inspected and put air in my tires. I went to the grocery store and restocked my fridge.

All the while, my mind reeled like a YouTube video set to loop:

Avery, Avery, Avery.

+++

By the time I was done, it was six forty-five p.m. I sat on the couch in my favorite pair of jeans and my coolest short-sleeve button-down: a navy blue number with tiny koi fish print. My hair was perfectly quaffed, and I radiated a shower-fresh clean. My apartment was silent, my palms sweating as my hands rested on my thighs. Despite all my arguing and resistance, I was the very definition of down bad.

My incessant thoughts piped up.

"You're trying too hard. You realize that Avery saw you yesterday, unconscious, in a ratty t-shirt and cargo shorts, nasty and sweaty from skateboarding, right? You probably looked like shit, and he probably thinks that's how you normally look. You probably smelled bad, too. He's gonna know."

"He's not gonna know. How would he know?"

A soft knock on my door interrupted my internal warfare and made me jump out of my skin.

I put my hand on the cold doorknob. My heart beat so furiously I could feel the fuzzy edge of my consciousness, and I silently bargained with my hypotension that if it just left me alone for now, just for tonight, I would pass out all it wanted tomorrow. I turned the knob and opened the door.

"Hi!"

It was my neighbor. I experienced an emotion that could only be described as crushing relief.

"I found this outside my door, I think it's yours, isn't it?"

She was holding my skateboard. It was wet, but it didn't look to be soaked through. I gasped, taking it from her.

"Yes! You said it was outside your door?"

"Yeah, I don't know how long it was there, though. Probably since this morning. This is the first time I've gotten out today, so..." she trailed off. We'd spoken in passing, but we didn't really know each other.

"Well, thank you, I lost it yesterday. I think my friend found it and probably just forgot which apartment was mine."

"Hey, no problem. Have a good one," she said, smiling politely as she left.

When she was out of sight, I hastily looked around. The sun was just beginning to sink below the horizon, and as I looked up, I could see hard chips of stars starting to appear. Over my shoulder, I checked the microwave clock again. It was seven o'clock on the dot. How much longer? What would I say when he arrived? What would I even do when he did? My hands grew cold as I realized that, in all of my stress-cleaning, I hadn't planned anything for Avery and I to do together. Maybe I still had time?

"Good evening," a familiar, airy voice spoke from mere inches in front of me.

I jumped again, head snapping forward as my suddenly weak hands dropped my skateboard, which rolled lazily across my small patio.

Avery stood before me in the dying light. He wasn't completely transparent yet, and the fading sunlight behind him illuminated the delicate curves of his head, giving new meaning to the phrase "silver lining." He was grinning like a child who'd just had ice cream for the first time.

My words caught in my throat.

"I'm glad you found your skateboard! I fished it out of the water after I took you home, but I couldn't remember which apartment you lived in -- sorry about that. I hope it isn't ruined."

Across the courtyard, a man opened his door and stepped out, snapping me out of my besotted daze. My fight-or-flight engaged.

"Get in here!" I whispered urgently, grabbing his shirt sleeve, eliciting a surprised yelp as I pulled him into my apartment. He was lighter than I expected, and as the door swung closed, I tumbled backwards onto the floor.

"My goodness, Casper, are you okay?" He offered a hand to help me up. I scarcely had time to brace myself before taking it, and had no choice but to endure the overwhelming thrill of sensation as his cool palm pressed against mine, pulling me to my feet. He was light, but his strength was undeniable; he practically pulled me off my feet by my hand.

"Oh, yeah, fine... ah... I saw someone... out there, across the yard, and I was afraid they would see you," I hastily explained, avoiding his eyes as I tried to calm my palpitations.

"Well, that was kind of you! Believe it or not, though, humans do see me sometimes. Usually you just assume I am something else, like fog, or simply a trick of the light. Come to think of it, though... I suppose, technically, I am both of those things..." He put his fingers to his lips contemplatively. It was only then that I noticed a few things about him that were different from last time -- he was wearing square-framed glasses, and he seemed... shorter? The first time I saw him, he practically towered over me; now, though, he was only about a head taller.

"Did you get shorter?" I asked rudely, wincing before the words had even left my mouth. Mercifully, he didn't seem to mind.

"Oh, yes! It's a scorcher today, isn't it? I evaporate when I get too hot, or if I go too long without water, similar to how you run out of energy when you don't eat."

I realized that I hadn't offered him a seat or anything to drink since I abruptly yanked him into my apartment. I sensed my father rolling in his grave.

"I'm so sorry, can I get you something to drink? I have plain water, but I also have flavored sparkling water, you know, like La Croix? They aren't sweet, but, they're kinda fruit flavored. The kind I have is strawberry. I also have hot tea? I don't have any soda or anything, I don't really drink soda or alcohol, I also have m-"

Avery put his large hand on my shoulder, offering a reassuring smile. I flushed immediately, becoming aware that I had spoken in such a rush that I'd forgotten to breathe. I inhaled greedily, unable to meet Avery's eyes as I gestured to my small couch for him to sit.

"Sparkling water sounds lovely. I've never had that before, but I love strawberries!" he said, taking a seat.

I cracked open a can for each of us, then took a seat on a cushion across the coffee table from Avery. My couch was so small -- really more of a loveseat -- and I was afraid it was too soon to sit so close to him.

As Avery took a sip of the fizzy drink, his eyes lit up, like they did when he laughed. The liquid entered his mouth, and I watched the bubbles swirl like a hurricane just below the surface of his clear skin, before disappearing into the cloudy translucency of his body. Almost imperceptibly, such that I might not have noticed if I wasn't watching, he grew a bit taller.

"Hehe, that kinda tickles," he said, giggling, "it's not much of a flavor, is it? More like an idea of strawberries. Nonetheless, I like it! It reminds me of the flavor of tea."

"Oh, god. Oh, no."

My mind spun like a top flying off a ripcord. I felt my blush rise cartoonishly from my neck all the way to my hairline, like mercury in a glass thermometer being thrown through time, straight from winter into summer. Had I been a cartoon, I was sure that steam would be whistling out of my burning ears.

"The way that word sounds on his lips... oh, god, this is more than I can bear," I thought, watching him read the back of the La Croix can, his head tilted upward as he peered through his bifocals. There was no denying anything anymore; no bargaining, no holds barred. I was helplessly, hopelessly, powerlessly smitten. I had no choice but to admit it, now: all I could do was double-down.

"Hey Avery?"

"Yes?" He smiled again, and I realized with dizzying elation that he always smiled when he looked at me.

"Have you ever been to the fair?"

[sweetkpopmusings]

jeongin coworker headcanons <3

a/n: i thought of this the other night when i couldn't sleep, and it made me laugh, so here we are. this is platonic but let me know if you want to read some coworkers to lovers content because i love a good fanfic trope <3 pics not mine :-)

content: fluff, nonidol!au | wc: 0.9k | warnings: none really! brief mentions of eating | pairing: coworker!jeongin x gn!reader | requests: open

an absolute menace

but in a sweet/goofy way

when he realizes he likes your presence/vibe, he shows his interest in befriending you by teasing you

like he'll just walk by your desk and casually roast you

"i saw you go for the light roast coffee this morning. what were you doing, staying up late taking online quizzes?"

and you're just sitting there, holding your cup of coffee, looking at him like 1) mind your business <3 2) yes i was up late taking quizzes, what about it?

he will ask you which quizzes you took so he can take them too because he doesn't want to fill out the spreadsheet he has to submit by the end of the day

after he does his drive-by teasing for a while, you start doing it too. and jeongin is eating it up!!!!

this goes on for a couple weeks until, one day, you happen to take your lunches at the same time

he saunters on over and greets you with teasing comment and a sly grin

somehow he's charming enough to convince you to offer him the seat across from you

and, because weeks of jokes broke the ice, you're talking with each other as though you already were acquaintances

y'all start eating lunch together almost every day

it's no big affair, but you just find your lunch break to be way more enjoyable spent in each other's company

after you get to know each other more, you start this lil tradition of bringing snacks to share during your meals

every friday is special snack day and sometimes there's a theme you two use and other times it's a surprise

but it's always a good time! even if the snacks are bad because your reactions to the bad snacks make jeongin laugh and imitate you which makes you laugh

alongside snacks, you two always always always share workplace gossip

somehow jeongin knows the tea on absolutely everybody

whenever you ask how he knows, he just shrugs and says "people tell me things"

you won't question it because you live for the insider information

there will definitely be lunches when you're just sitting across from each other doing your own thing

if jeongin is on his phone watching tiktoks, he won't show you anything because he wants to send them to you while you're working to distract you <3

if he's bored during the workday, he'll walk over to your desk to ask you for stuff

paperclips? he just so happens to desperately need one at 10:17 am. gum? he's got a real craving for it at 2:02 pm. a blue ink gel pen? that's right! if he doesn't get his hands on one of those by 4:46 pm he is going to lose. his. mind.

every time you're like ... jeongin you're not sly. and he's like ??? um what are you talking about? i am simply an employee asking my coworker for basic office supplies. and you're like are you sure you're not just doing this to talk to me?

he smiles and says no <3

he's actually the king of distractions yet he always completes his work on time??

he's not rude though. if you have a lot of work, he leaves you alone so you can focus

on particularly stressful days, he'll come check on you by saying "you look like death" and shit like that and maybe give you encouraging messages if he's in the right mood

if either of you have finished a big project or have to suffer through a long meeting/training session, he will show up with drinks from your favorite nearby coffee shop

you thank him and he says he only did it so you don't fall asleep and snore at your desk because that would be embarrassing. he also claims you owe him $50 for his services

if you have to stay late and do some overtime, he'll walk you to your car/bus stop/etc

he explains that "if you go missing i'll have no one to talk to except our HR rep pete" is his reason for walking you there and waves goodbye once you're safely on your way home

he's also glued to you during any company party/event

because it's so fun to hang out with you for more than a few minutes at a time!!

and you two can whisper comments and jokes to each other about your coworkers' behavior without risking anyone overhearing it

plus, if the event is no fun, you'll go off and do your own thing

whether that's sitting at one of your desks and watching netflix

or going to the back corner of the event venue to play some stupid game like paper football or cootie catchers

while stealing as many free drinks/snacks as possible because it is a company event after all and jeongin is a firm believer in getting your money's worth

you never thought you'd look forward to work parties but with jeongin around you know you're set for a good time

after a while, everyone in the office just associates you two with each other because whenever they look up you two are joking around, hanging out, or laughing at messages you send each other while you sit at your own desks. it's iconic and all your coworkers are jealous <3

jeongin will really just tease and bug you on the regular but little do you know that on his worst days, even the ones when he is millimeters away from quitting, knowing he can see you 5 days a week is enough for him to stay :,-)

[knifefightscene]

4 hrs workday would be so good i fear it is a future that we will not live to see

[oxytocin-rush]

I'm home at 4am, supposed to be working during 9-5 US time (I live on the other side of the Pacific), but since it's looking like there's no more work to be done for the day, I'm re-reading a smut fanfic about viagra plant (or at least that's what Alex call it) 😁😁😁

Thank goodness my supervisor can't see me rn 🤣🤣🤣

Will be re-reading the rest of this series since I've got 2 more hrs left of the workday. They're just so good. Kudos!

[clunelover]

Omg, I successfully NETWORKED and it went well and although I now have an adrenaline rush, I did not die.

We had that in person meeting, and my old boss stopped by, and I was just like "omg I still miss him so much" and then that got me thinking - my new boss has been with us for almost a year now, and I still don’t click with her and feel awkward when we talk and sometimes she tells me things to do that I think are dumb. So, not a terrible manager! But nevertheless I dread our 1:1s and I just don’t want to live in that situation forever. Also, I get bored easily and I’d say I’m kind of becoming bored with our scope of work…nothing could beat the highs of designing our data model, and then later devising our point in time data strategy! And I just don’t anticipate anything like that coming up again any time soon.

So, seeing him inspired me to look at internal job postings. Of course there’s nothing on his team because people under him don’t tend to leave, but there are other areas that seem interesting, and I decided to reach out to a manager hiring for a Workday analyst. Workday being an HR software…platform…thing, you can use it as the place you have job postings, do all the hiring through it, then for employees use it for time tracking and performance goal setting, etc. So I thought that might be cool, and on the recommendation of my old boss I just messaged the hiring manager and asked if we could talk. She said sure, and so today we talked!

Turns out it wouldn’t be a good fit for me - I guess her team does things like "okay, how should the payroll screen in workday be configured for our users" which...yeah, no. BUT she says there’s someone at her level who manages a different team that’s all the workday data analytics - like, people analysis. Who’s got what skills, who’s likely to leave the company, how’s the return to work going, stuff like that. She said this person isn’t hiring currently, but that I should reach out to her, and since her team mostly provides analysis for senior leaders, it’s a good team to connect with.

SO YEAH! I’ll definitely be pushing myself to do that after the holiday weekend. This woman was also just really warm and nice to talk to, so it was a good reminder that there are more managers out there within my own company who don’t give me the "fuck, so awkward!!" Feeling.

[messy-jello]

Ahh, sorry I didn't get back to you the other day! I went to my neices' TWD belt ceremony and didn't get home til like 9, then fell asleep on the couch. And yesterday I had a 14 hr workday, so that was a write off.

So.

Sailor Moon.

I adore it, so my first instinct is always to say yes when people ask me if they should watch it. I want to share it with the world. However, I can also get defensive over it so I do try to sound out if they're going to enjoy it or if it will just be frustrating for both of us.

Do you like magical girl anime? Specifically, it's shojo. I know you do enjoy things with the romance framwork around the main story, that's one of the cleverest parts of Library Wars, but magical girl is its own subset.

Are you good with the fact that 14 manga chapters of canon became 50 episodes of a TV show? Because yeah there's a fuckton of MotW and character building and strange little side quests. That happens when you adapt something into a longer format.

Do you enjoy media aimed at younger people? I've almost always been oddly split in that I generally prefer things made for people older or younger than my target audience. When I was a teenager I was usually reading from either the adult section or kids picture books. I was only ever in the teen section for the Elfquest comics. I don't know your actual age, but I'm nearly positive this is going to be geared young for you. The Japanese version is aimed at preteens, and the American version is quite obviously aimed at kindergarteners (Me. I was 5 when it aired in Canada)

Can you take media in the context of the time it was made in? Sailor Moon is actually decently progressive as far as childrens' shows from the 90's, but some of the choices they make and the way they interact with the world is a bit dated. Like Usagi often forgets to actually call for back-up after they get their communicators because... she's from 1987, technically. She has no familiarity with the idea of people being immediately contactable, so in high stress situations she tends to forget it's an option. Also the tech thing is a HUGE plot point in season 5.

If you say yes to these, I would say ABSOLUTELY give it a go! You might find it's not for you, and that's okay! Art doesn't speak to every soul in the same way. Either way, though, feel free to talk about it with me if you do give it a try! I'm always down for a Sailor Moon conversation!

Nah, it's okay. I get it. Everyone has their own lives and can't get to everything immediately. ^_^ 1) I do enjoy magical girl anime (at least the few I tried when I was a lot younger). If it has romance aspects that's even better. 2) That shouldn't bother me. :3 I'm not usually good with long series though. 3) I absolutely love shows aimed towards younger audiences. A lot of time I turn to them for comfort. I still watch shows made for like 7+ and I love them more than literally anything else. I usually stick to my age demographic or younger. 4) Oh sure. It doesn't bother me at all. My parents raised me in a way that I'm kind of used to that (if that makes sense) I've heard a lot about Sailor Moon since it's a very iconic anime, yet I've never actually watched anything about it myself. I like the style, I think it's super cute (<- style is a HUGE factor of if i'll watch a show or not). Usually if my mutual likes something I try to check it out. :3

[lastweeksshirttonight]

My interminable 10 hr workday is finally over so HERE WE GO.

Firstly, damn Seth looks GOOD. @snlmeyers collect your man!!!!

Secondly this starts at a 10, we're talking royal family ("natural selection went 2 for 2", holy SHIT John) and addressing John's tendency to bring chaos and destruction to Seth's show. I love an interview where everyone is rapidly flying off the rails.

John's analysis of his own contemptuousness to awards show is delightful. As is his earnest delight about Muppets (one I share, I adore Muppets so much).

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

I had this idea that I'll watch Ahsoka as an average "knows some Star Wars" viewer and react accordingly (aka, what the fuck is going on and why does it matter) but I just... don't care. I don't care. I haven't found a good enough reason to care. Maybe I'm just really fucking tired and can't fathom watching this show right now when dealing with 10-hr workdays at the office. I'm thinking about watching Chernobyl again, actually. I'll get to see some of the Andor people in there. And then I'll think about Andor and how that show made me give a fuck about everyone.

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Chapter 9 : Fíli

For @laurfilijames, my beloved friend, I submit another fic for @deanobingo 2022.

This is chapter 9 of the blursed AU, featuring Rhee - a tired HR lady who has to deal with too much crap from her co-workers and superiors relating to their messed-up love life - and her college friend Michele who'll meet a very surprising man.

Character: Fíli

Prompt: Meet-cute

Words: 1,9 k

Michele groaned as she pulled her coat tighter around her shivering frame; she had been waiting for her friend to meet her in the square for 10 minutes already and Rhee was seldom late.

After checking her phone once more – no new messages – she shoved it into her pocket resolutely and decided to walk a little to cast off the chill that was seeping into her very bones.

She hated being out in the open like that; despite having fled across the country, she could still feel his rancid breath gusting down the back of her neck like toxic fumes.

Shaking the feeling off with a violent shiver, Michele looked up at the tall, menacing buildings and struggled against the sick feeling in her stomach. What if something terrible had happened to Rhee? 

She was so lost in thought that she did not see the man hastening across the plaza until she bumped into him; she would have fallen in her visceral shock if his strong hands had not – with incredible presence of mind – wrapped around her arms and steadied her. She flinched back with a small cry as the feeling of being restrained triggered a wave of nauseating panic within her throat.

“Lady? I saw you pacing around, looking harried, is anything the matter?” the stranger asked gently; he had bright blue eyes that held a good-humoured twinkle and his bulky frame shielded her from the cutting wind and potential prying gazes.

He laughs often and heartily, she thought and the realisation that there wasn’t an ounce of bad temper in that open gaze made her churning stomach settle a little after a moment of blind, demented fear.

“No,” she squeaked softly. “I am waiting for a friend, but she’s nowhere to be found. Is this a dangerous place?”

He cocked his head pensively and looked up at the building she was patrolling so faithfully.

“Hmmm,” he then hummed, “I don’t think any bodily harm has come to her inside these walls, but she might have been driven insane by the idiocy of her colleagues.”

He cackled at that and wiped an apologetic hand over his mouth as if to take back his harsh words. “They’re our rivals,” he explained, “and I have to badmouth them any chance that I get.”

Then, he extended that saving hand confidently and introduced himself as Fíli, senior manager of Erebor, before inviting her to grab a warming drink at a coffee shop down the street with him while she waited. “No need to turn into an icicle, right?”

“What are you doing here then? In the middle of the workday?” she asked warily, too distrustful to follow a stranger to a second, undisclosed location.

“I am chasing my best pal, Ori,” he informed her soberly and stepped back when he understood that the flash of renewed anxiety in her sea-green eyes was provoked by his casual familiarity; Fíli didn’t like to overstep, and he would never have made someone else uncomfortable on purpose. He pulled out his phone and showed her a picture of Ori to distract her, mumbling dramatically about how the Finwëans might have taken his friend hostage.

“Is that something that happens here?” Michele gasped, wide-eyed.

“No,” he admitted, but a minute frown appeared on his handsome face. “He has not been himself today and I worry. We already have two friends who’ve disappeared now…”

Michele leaned closer to inspect the photograph more closely.

“I know that dude,” she cried out suddenly. “He went to college with us!”

Her face darkened and an ominous “uh-oh” escaped her pinched lips; Michele now knew what might have kept her friend and she didn’t like it in the least.

“Who is ‘us’?” Fíli asked eagerly, nodding at the corner of the plaza again when he saw her shiver and shake in a particularly vicious gale. “Come, I’ll buy you a coffee or a tea. I promise that I mean you no harm and – anyway – there will be plenty of people who are on their lunch break, so you won’t be alone with an unknown and rather peculiar man.”

He could easily see that something dark was haunting the beautiful woman – standing forlorn in front of a forbidden block of stone and glass – and he instinctively felt that he could not leave her alone; despite not knowing what it was that had frightened her so, he was sure that she was not lying and willing to protect and defend her.

Confident that he was doing the right thing, Fíli conjured up his most disarming smile to put her at ease so he could get her out of the cold and into a safe space where he could survey all the exits.

“The friend I was supposed to meet,” Michele replied vaguely and followed him at a distance as he started moving slowly towards the brightly lit shop looking like a sparkling, colourful gem amongst the drab grey office towers.

She did not tell him how bitterly Rhee had cried about that unprepossessing creature who had kissed and fled like a despicable heartbreaker, because angering the powerful-looking stranger – all broad shoulders and mighty arms – seemed like a dangerously bad idea to her.

Moreover, this was not her secret to tell. She wondered though whether Rhee was aware of Ori’s presence in her immediate vicinity; maybe, her coming here would turn out to be a blessing in disguise for she didn’t even want to imagine what state her friend would be in, once she found out that her old nemesis was alive and well. 

The placid lagoons of Fíli’s eyes turned into sharp ice within an instant and, despite having reached the front door of his destination, whirled around brusquely to glare at Michele.

“Someone from his college is here?” he asked, intensity flaring in his gaze and stiffening his demeanour drastically; Michele drew back in intuitive fear.

Immediately, Fíli lifted his hands placatingly in a gesture of goodwill. “It’s just,” he muttered as his fingers clutched the doorknob so tightly that his knuckles were white under his tanned skin, “that he had his heart broken in college. It’s taken a long time for us to build him back up.”

“He had his heart broken?” Acid disbelief and stinging mockery infused Michele’s voice now – an echo of the woman she had been before – as she placed her hand above his and drew the door open without commenting on Fíli’s hesitation. “I very much doubt that!”

Sheepishly, he followed her inside. Warm, fragrant air thawed their stiff limbs and allowed them to relax just a little after this moment of tension.

It was clear that they both were keepers of secrets that were not their own and that they were now wondering – each within the safety of their own most intimate thoughts – whether they held sharp-edged fragments of the same story. 

As by tacit agreement, they pressed their lips into thin lines, signalling thus that they’d not divulge more than their biting remarks and bristly reactions had already given away.

“So,” Fíli smiled as soon as they had sat down at a small table, steaming coffee mugs clasped between their clammy hands, “what brings you to this place? Are you just visiting your friend?”

His eyebrows twitched ever so slightly upon understanding that a part of him wholeheartedly disliked the idea of this mysterious, fearful yet principled woman disappearing as suddenly as she had cropped up in his life.

“I…” Michele faltered. “I don’t know.” She had not found either the time or the energy yet to think about her future beyond the next few steps – getting away from that dreadful man, leaving her home under the cover of night, making it to relative safety – and she had been relying on Rhee to help her figure out what was to be done after.

“We’re always looking for people,” Fíli grinned invitingly. “Forgive me if this is an unwelcome pitch, but – with the unchecked growth of the businesses around here – we are constantly hiring. Just in case you wanted to stay a little longer.”

“Do you have a lot of staff turnover?” Michele inquired pointedly for she was much confused by this person who treated her as if she was an esteemed friend rather than a complete stranger.

“Not really,” he said casually. “It’s hard to explain to outsiders.”

He scratched his golden beard pensively and retied his equally as shining hair into a clean ponytail at the back of his head to gain some time.

“We’re all locked up together in this cauldron of madness,” he then chuckled, “and we do our best to drive one another mental, but – at the end of the day – I don’t really know what we’d do if one of our competitors left to settle somewhere else. It’s intense and annoying, but…” 

He shrugged and gave her an infectious, blinding grin of boyish mischief. “So, you said your friend works for the Finwëans? They’re a tough bunch!” 

“Yeah,” Michele replied slowly; she had kept in touch with Rhee, so she knew how much her friend loved her job despite the more than just occasional office drama between her co-workers.

“Well, here’s my number,” Fíli said and dug out a pristine card from the breast pocket of his flawlessly starched button-down, “in case you’re interested in working for Erebor Inc. or if you want to have coffee again sometime maybe?”

“I’ll…think about it,” Michele answered evasively. In her heart of hearts, she had to admit that she had not felt as safe and happy in a long time as she now did in the calming presence of this sturdy blonde who kept grinning at her as if her presence was truly delightful to him.

Just as she was about to say something to that effect, her phone rang, and she breathed a sigh of relief as soon as she saw Rhee’s name flash across the display.

“Sorry, I have to take this,” she whispered to Fíli and turned aside a little. “Hey,” she breathed into the phone, “where have you been? What has happened?”

Fíli heard a flood of words pour out of the device but he couldn’t make any of them out; he would have to find out more about this Rhee, he decided, and his first stop would be Ori if he ever managed to extricate his friend from the clutches of the Finwëans. 

No doubt, if this siren remembered him with so much suppressed emotion, Ori would be able to tell him more about her and that mysterious friend of hers in turn.

When the woman nodded apologetically first at him and then at the exit, his hand shot out, but he merely brushed his fingertips tenderly along the inside of her wrist instead of grabbing her passionately as was his instinct. 

“Your name?” he mouthed pleadingly.

“Michele,” she replied with a smile that was brighter and more earnest than any he had seen thus far; his heart sped up and he had to fight the urge to actually prevent her from leaving.

“Yeah, as you were late, I went to have coffee with a dude. I was about to faint from the cold. Hmmm? It’s a long story…see you in a bit,” Michele spoke into her phone in the precise staccato of a woman who knew that her interlocutor was able to follow her fast speech easily.

With a last, lingering look at Fíli, she left the coffee shop and hastened back to where he had first found her and where – he sincerely hoped – he would stumble upon her once more very soon. 

So, this was a short glimpse into the blursed AU. I love you @laurfilijames and I hope you'll enjoy this <3

If anything is too unclear, I am happy to answer any and all questions about it :)

As always, lots of love from me <3

-> Chapter 11