#Is there something you have always wished to pay with a Hong Kong?

[goldeneyedgirl]

Ficmas22: Day 12: Korean Alice WIP

Hi guys.

This fic wasn't the plan tonight but in the space of twenty-four hours I have acquired a second-degree sunburn (everything they say about the Australian sun in summer is true, and it was a really dumb mistake) and a sprained ankle. So we've got some Korean Alice tonight!

It takes less than a day for Jasper to bring him the information Alice has requested. She cloisters herself in Esme’s studio, on the make-shift bed they’ve arranged. She makes herself a sandwich and washes her clothing, but other than that, appears to sleep. 

“The survivors of the Busan attack,” Carlisle tells her, in front of the family as everyone is curious about her, “have relocated to Hong Kong under the protection of Huang Gao.”

If anything, the girl gets paler, and Jasper is as far away from her as he can get. 

Alice nods. “Any word of the survivors?” 

“I’m afraid not but I’m sure we can pass on a message?” Carlisle offers, wishing this girl would give them something to work with. 

“No, you’ve done more than I hoped.” Her voice is dull, and she seems to make up her mind. “And I will ask you for one more favour so I might leave you in peace - I need to return to Busan. I have a Korean passport but no money.”

“Who is Hala?” Edward interrupts, and Jasper straightens up. 

“A friend I hope survived the attack. She will find me in Busan, if she is still alive,” Alice says.

“Hala of the Pravat coven?” Jasper asks, and Carlisle is vaguely relieved at this clue of her identity. 

“Yes.”

“How do you know them?”

“I worked for Ratana.”

//

“You say you’ve never met me, Jasper Hale.” She switches from English to Korean. “And it seems we’re both acquainted with Hala.”

The dawning realisation on Jasper’s face is both funny and terrible as his eldest son stares at their guest.

“She didn’t - only for the transport,” Jasper manages, but he looks sick. “That was the agreement I consented to.”

Alice said nothing.

“When did we meet?” Jasper asked, and the family is looking between them, like a tennis match. 

“Some time ago. I don’t really keep track of these things,” Alice seems very distant. “You were… a good friend to me, Jasper. I protected you as best as I could, but Hala answers to higher authorities than I. I would not have disturbed you and your family if I was not in dire need.”

//

She gets back to Busan much faster than she left it, in only a day and a half. The Cullens have given her enough cash to travel, supplied her with a suitcase of clothing that she doesn’t even bother to claim from baggage.

Her apartment is in a skinny building overlooking a narrow street with a jumble of businesses - some cafes, a shoe-repairer, a pawn shop, an overflowing grocery store, and a laundromat. All wide, grimy windows for twelve floors. Some residents are brave enough to hang their laundry between the buildings. She’s not. 

She wasn’t the last person in her apartment, she realises when she walks in. The door has been fixed, but was recently broken - she can see the seam of repairs. It’s one of those rare times where she’s pleased that she - well, Ratana - pays her rent months ahead of time, because she still has a place to live. 

The floor is filthy, the bed has been torn apart, and the emergency phone has been smashed. They’ve even cut into her armchair, shoved her few cups and plates to the floor. Her lamp and her ancient television are gone, probably stolen. The clothing she left behind is crumpled on the floor. 

The whole place is trashed. 

—

It takes her a week to put her life back into order - the Cullens’ travel money covers a replacement mattress, and she raids the pawn shop and the thrift store for a new armchair, new clothes and bedding, new dishes. And another ancient television that doesn’t always play in colour. 

She gets a job cleaning at the cafe across the street, and the owner treats her with suspicion but pays her in cash at the end of each shift. If it’s been a good day, he gives her food to take home. It’s not the best food, been sitting under a heat lamp all day, but she takes it gratefully and sometimes even eats it. 

She doesn’t throw away the phone that the Cullens gave her. Two messages come through, from Dr Cullen checking that she arrived safely and then one expressing concern for the lack of response. 

It takes her sixty eight days to steel herself enough to send back a polite thank you and reassure him she made it back to Korea. Then she turns it off. 

—

Winter folds into spring, and that just means scraping together money for clothing and shoes. She hasn’t exactly looked for her coven, or anyone, but no one has come looking for her and she doesn’t know how long she’s going to be alone. And that means that her money has to stretch to rent and food and clothing. The allowance Ratana had given her had not been generous, but that was only because Ratana paid her rent directly to the landlord. 

So, she cleans. And sometimes she hangs around the laundromat, getting paid to wash and dry other peoples’ clothing whilst they go off and do something more important. The owner chases her off, some days, and she only earns enough to cover a day’s food on a good day but it fills in the time. 

That’s mostly what she’s doing right now. Filling in time. She has her routine down to the minute - wake up, make tea, get changed, tidy up, go to the laundromat for a few hours, go to work, come home, shower, eat something, and sleep. 

Rinse and repeat. 

There’s a hollowness in her chest that seems to get bigger 

—

He bought her the beads when he proposed - the Markets of 1968. The only place open to buy a ring was the Markets, and neither of them wanted to buy one there. He swore that when they got to America, he’d get her the most beautiful ring ever seen. But until then, a string of black and gold beads around her neck would have to do. 

—

The first Market back is two years after the attack. She’s impressed Ratana is that efficient, but the woman is a one-person army. Except, it’s different now. Ratana works under the protection of Huang Gao now - for how long, nobody knows. Ratana is insistent that she remain a secret, swears that none of the Chinese coven know about her existence. 

She’s really not expecting him to attend, honestly. She sinks herself into market-work, into making sure the girls are comfortable, into packing stock and pricing and dealing with customers. She darts between stalls at Amita’s request, filling in for sellers when they need to take a break. 

“No one from the Hale or Cullen coven came,” Hala says kindly, at the end of the night. She’s sweeping up the mess of blood and sawdust and dirt that covers the floors, and not in the mood to speak. 

“No,” she says, as one of the other workers tosses another bucket of water onto the mess on the floor. She’s accepted that her shoes are done for tonight, she’ll have to throw them in the burn pile. She doesn’t bother to point out the singular guest from the Hale-Cullen coven was Jasper. And he’s never missed a Market before. 

“Are you…?” Hala begins, and she shrugs. 

“There was a ‘before’, so I expected there to be an ‘after’,” she manages, making a face when she thinks she spots a clump of hair. Whichever fucker decided to feed on the floor deserved to be banned for life.

Hala nods and lets her keep cleaning, maybe recognising that this isn’t the time for such a conversation; that they might be close, but they aren’t the sort of close where either of them cry on each other’s shoulders. Where either of them know a single thing about the other outside of the business. 

That none of them have really been okay since the Volturi’s recruitment. They are all stretched thin, taunt and worried. Worried about Aro of Italy, worried about Ratana’s alliance with Huang Gao, worried about the future. 

“You can go.” Ratana’s hand is firm on her shoulder, as she takes the broom from her, and slips some folded notes into her hand. “Get some sleep and some food, yes?”

She nods, and Ratana summons some new recruit with the snap of her fingers to continue to wash away the blood. 

Hala guides her back to the streets, and she makes her way home as the sun peaks over the horizon. None of the vendors she eats at are still open, most of them packing up. The streets are nearly empty; this isn’t a face of the city she normally sees. It feels very strange. 

She wonders how long it takes to fall out of love with someone. 

—

Jasper brings the whole family to the second market, and just seeing him on the floor is enough to make her feel sick and ashamed, so when Biyu tells her Ratana wants her working in the backroom, she agrees quickly. 

Mrs Cullen definitely spots her, but doesn’t say anything. She just looks curious. 

If she watches them from one of the windows, it’s only because doing the books for Ratana is inherently dull work, even with the runners bringing the invoices and receipts every hour. She watches them roam the floor, watches what they choose for themselves.

Watches the scene they cause when they come upon the flesh sellers, and she idly wonders if they realise those girls are here for both fucking and feeding, buyer’s choice. She can’t pick which one they would be more upset over. But Ratana does her best, and every single body for sale is a dead girl walking. Disease, drugs, poverty, or good old-fashioned gang warfare - none of them has a life anymore, and this is an easy way to make life-changing amounts of money for their parents or siblings or children or friends.

Ratana lets her leave sometime around two, letting her slip out ahead of the Cullens. For some incomprehensible reason, Ratana presses a bag of hot food into her hands as she turns to go and she nods her thanks. 

In the street, she walks only a few meters down the road before she sits down in the gutter, and opens up whatever Ratana has decided to give her. It’s still warm, and she eats it absently, still contemplating the walk home. She’ll have two days off, now - to sleep and clean and fill her time, so that she’s nowhere nearby when Huang Gao’s representative comes to collect his money. 

Immortality is so very dull and lonely. 

“Hello.”

She looks up to see the Cullens standing over her, and she hates that. She’s no stranger to casual racism, to overt racism. How many times throughout the years have white people grabbed at her, told her she’s ‘pretty for one of them’? Have assumed she’s a sex worker, that she’ll do anything they ask for American or British currency?

And now she’s sitting in the gutter, at their feet. 

“Good evening.” Her voice is steady, and she rises easily, tucking her food into her bag. “I didn’t expect to see you all here.”

“Safer to travel as a family these days,” Mrs Cullen smiles at her, and she wonders if the woman feels bad for how their family treated her when she first arrived looking for help. 

“I’ve heard that.” And she has. But she doesn’t have anyone to travel with. Maybe that’s why she’s stuck in Busan.

“We didn’t mean to interrupt your meal,” Edward Cullen is quick to interject and she waves it off. Jasper is hovering behind them, with most of the family. It’s only the Dr and Mrs Cullen, and Edward who have come over to her. 

“If it was a true interruption, I would still be eating,” she says absently. “I need to make my way home. Enjoy your time in Busan.” 

She turns and wanders away then, and she’s pleased that she doesn’t look back and she didn’t look at Jasper anymore than to determine where he was. He hadn’t approached her at all. Her detour to Forks had clearly changed everything, and that was not unexpected. But if Jasper had no interest in her, then she has little interest in befriending his family. They were clients of Ratana’s, nothing more. 

By the time she’s home, the rest of her food is cold and congealing, and she throws it away, and curls up in her chair to watch television until she falls asleep. 

[bluesky88diary]

My heart is divided right now. So much love dwells within that it feels like flood overflowing my sadness. Yes, I look forward with much hope, backward with gratefulness and at you with love, but... Only one thought was giving me strengh do not give up and break through high barriers, I could see you soon and feel your presence close to me. And now it feels like in childhood times playing dandy, tryin very hard to break the game and after finnal boss all of a sudden he revives and there is another extra level you're not ready for. Beside that I'm very glad about KARA success and to see how much joy and happiness it brings in your life. Please share more of this, don't you know how much this is precious to your fans? Or you're also a little sad deeply in heart, because you didn't expected I will be able to get that far by loving you? Please, don't be sad, there is many beautiful things on going. Trust the Lord and don't lean on your own understanding. It's not an easy thing, but let's trust and move forward. I would like to take all responsibility if you find something to complain about, even so it's because I want you to be confident in every step and enjoy it. I'm very happy about being a part of your heart and insipre you to smile and laugh, to love and move again. Yet what if there another unread dream will come true, see you on another Karasia stage. Last time years before I thought it will never happen, but today I will say again that imposible is nothing. Let's make a happy step in New Year.

It was very heavy to leave Paris without you. However Paris never was a favorite place for me, as far as not. Only one thing I like about Paris is some sort of impact related to beloved one, the only thing I enjoy about. My dream always was to see east, and partialy it happened in Hong Kong. Also you reminded me childhood dream about Los Angeles, such a many movies were related to that city, but I never thought it could be possible to get there. Also you like to descover such famous places from movies. Could it become our point of impact? Interesting, it's real like never before. First I have to deal with all papers to arrange my living in U.S. and then I will come back to this question. 

I'm very glad I could make dream of my father come true. He was so happy to see me. I'm much less emotional about meeting people, beside my beloved. Litteraly I tell you the difference is huge. Today we went to buy me a new suit. First what impressed me, alot of trash like rags. Litteraly! In Ukraine such stuff worth nothing and I never buy it, because I can get very good clothes almost for free, but here even for some junk one must pay alot. It was difficult to find something I could like. Perhaps nothing cheaper that $300 wasn't worthy, but ofter hours of roaming my imagination created some decent combination for very modest price, only $150 for jacket, shirt and jeans. Interesting would you like my choice. I will show you later how it looks alike. However I found decent shoes to accomplish mentioned suit but there was no my size. Whatever... I'm not a shoping person and very careful with my spendings. Father also had a wish to buy me a phone, for instance IPhone 14 Pro, but I compared all pros and cons and Pixel 6A won, because only thing I'm interested in is filming and pictures. I count it pointless to over pay for nothing. I'm not a celebrity after all ㅋㅋㅋ. Soon I will share with you pictes of a bit better quality. 

Feelings about U.S. (hm, about us?) Even first day feels totaly different. From food to the way everything moves around. When you watch the movies it makes some feeling about it and so it is for real. People here fat, not fat body, but fat life, oversized. You don't need that much but you do because you can. I never used to live like that, and I hope I won't get used to such a mindset. 

How my beloved angel is doing? Seems like you enjoy this time alot. But also it feels like you get used that thing come and begone. I'm not like that, I don't live by moment. I like to create something that will last. Well well.. You guys are so funny this way, like guys from Beverly Hills ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[happysandwichsuit]

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[benhowley]

I was sad the first time in Ireland. The first time that stayed with me anyway, some good came of it though. I can remember my Granny’s striped hat boxes in their guest room. And I got some reading done. I had real friends who I didn’t want to leave back in Boston. We would go for most of the summer when I was a kid and this was the first summer where I could process my friends would be having fun without me. I was maybe seven years old the first time I was sad, mostly good came from it. I remember watching my grandad garden.

It has come back ever since. In various waves. Now, I’m in another though this one feels more permanent. I have low vitality. It’s true. I wish it wasn’t. I’m a big believer in vitality marking a man’s essential essence. I don’t like movies anymore, I might’ve seen em all. Most of the really good ones anyway. Maybe not, but most of em. I wish the world was different.

Do the presidents want to fix the world before themselves? Maybe I should go to school for architecture. It would be something to do anyway. Might pay a little better but who knows. I never notice buildings, very rarely anyway. The Sagrada Familia was the only one that ever really got me. I notice sets though.

It’s never enough. Maybe just a motorcycle would do but it’s never enough.

I think Elon Musk is right, you need to be in love with a woman and in love with your work to be happy. If one isn’t there you’re only halfway happy.

I don’t know what happened to the world. LA is miserable, you don’t see anyone. I don’t even know where you’d see them. New York is miserable, you see everyone all the time. And they’re sick. Really. Fashion victims posing like fools. I hate the men most of all, faggot artists. The best they get is they’re crisp — in their clothes, in their visuals — but there’s never any substance. Never any exclamatory passion. Or love. I don’t get it. God bless the girls that go for them, lost creatures. I don’t trust people who go to parties. I don’t trust democrats. I don’t trust people who want to be seen as smart. I think the only people to trust are lonely people, when they’re not perverts anyway, yep, lonely people. Like when you see an old person eating alone at mcdonalds. But it’s too sad to think about.

I think it can be nice to be sad, but only if you’re truly alone. It might be good for you. It can also get bad fast. It always looks better in retrospect. Maybe I should move to Hong Kong. I always really liked Chinese people and rain.

Trump says if he’s elected he’ll build ten new cities on federal ground and there won’t be as many regulations imposed on the architecture. I went to Mar a Lago four times last month and I think it might be the nicest place in America. Most of the materials were shipped over from Venice. Every detail is beautiful. The food was delicious. And he Lords over the place in a really fascinating way. I’ve never been anywhere like it, truly. I really hope Trump gets elected president and I really hope he builds those cities.

[purplesurveys]

1551

Did 2015 just fly by to you? That year was absolute shit, and it felt like a century to pass by. I dealt with a bad breakup, the death of my grandfather, and brutal review classes for college entrance exams as well as the exams themselves.

Do you like platform shoes? Hate them. Would never catch me wearing a pair.

How much black is in your wardrobe? Probably a good 60%. It still takes up most of my closet though in recent years I’ve tried to add splashes of color here and there.

Are you supposed to be doing something else? I technically have work and it would be ideal to deal with them in advance. But I’m also trying to give quiet quitting a chance to give my mind and body a break, so they’ll have to wait. I can’t even stand to glance at my work laptop these days lol.

If you were with your favorite person right now, what would you be doing? Don’t have one.

Did you have a good holiday season? Last year’s was pretty fun! I do remember feeling a little bit restless and anxious because right before our agency went on Christmas break I was informed that I was gonna get promoted and was already given a heads-up about the workload to expect for the new stint. I felt unprepared so there was nagging anxiety at the back of my head, but for the most part I was thrilled to see family again and eat lots of food and get lots of BTS-themed presents lmao.

Anything special planned for today? I’m currently having Hong Kong food delivered (noodles and chicken feet!!!) and I haven’t had either in a while, so I’m so excited to wolf them down lol. Initially I told myself not to spend this weekend...but this week had been extremely difficult for me physically, mentally, emotionally. I barely got anything for myself and barely fed myself in the last six days so I thought this little treat shouldn’t completely be off the table.

Who do you really trust in your life? My best friends.

What do you think about "Justin Bieber"? I’m sure this question means well, but why is his name quoted?? Hahahaha. Anyway, I like him and he has a lot of good songs. I wouldn’t pay for a concert ticket on my own, but I certainly wouldn’t turn down a free one if offered.

Do you wish you could change the past? No, I prefer to focus on the present.

What is your hot drink of choice? No hot beverages for me.

Do you own a gun? Continued from last night because lmao did I pass out early. No, and you’ll never see me owning one.

Do you think people get the wrong idea of you? Sure, sometimes. I don’t always get to hear people’s impressions of me, but even though they get it right for the most part there will be some ideas that are just entirely wrong. I once had someone tell me they thought I had a super active life and that I enjoyed working out, which felt like a compliment but I also found it hilarious because that’s the last thing I’d enjoy doing haha.

Have you ever cracked your cell phone screen? This is the fate of all my phones, to tell you the truth. The past two or three phones I had died slow deaths because I gradually cracked their screens. I’ve been a bit more careful with my current phone but I also wouldn’t be surprised if I end up shattering this to death too.

Have your pants ever fallen down in public? Nah but my bras always do because I don’t have the torso to hold them up.

If you had to delete one year of your life, which year would it be? 2020. More than my breakup, Covid was a big waste of everyone’s time.

What is your favorite article of clothing you own? My high-waisted denim jeans.

How late do you usually stay up till? Around 2 AM. During the weekends I can stay up for later.

What is your favorite Christmas song? Eh, dunno if I have one. I have a soft spot for Jimin’s Christmas Love though, even though it’s not a traditional Christmas song.

What all have you had to eat today? I had a couple of hotdog sandwiches in the morning; we also visited family after church and my grandma made us lechon and cream of mushroom soup + my cousin got chocolate brownies; then I went to Starbucks right after where I tried this new drink they have called the brown sugar cocoa oat milk frappe (what a mouthful too, lol) and a slice of New York cheesecake with chocolate syrup.

If your entire life was a movie, what would it be called? I’m not creative enough to come up with a good title...

How do you feel about "smoking"? Don’t have a strong opinion on it. You do you.

Blue or green? Blue.

What's your current least favorite song? Pink Venom, Blackpink. I don’t even not like it because of the never-ending fandom wars; the song is just genuinely not my vibe.

Do you know how to play chess? Never learned.

What is something the world needs less and more of in your opinion? Less toxicity on social media, more letting people shamelessly enjoy their interests and not getting dragged for whatever they’re into.

Do you know someone who is just so breathtakingly attractive? I’m in the middle of a ridiculous Jeon Jungkook phase right now, so let’s go with him. Insane how that monster of a man is good at everything he does and everything he tries, while also looking as good as he does.

How hard is it for you to open up to others? Nah, I can be an open book.

What is something that has really impacted your life? BTS. They saved my life in the most literal sense. Back in April 2021 my clock was pretty much over and I was dead set on leaving, then for whatever reason they kinda just swooped in at the last possible moment with a video that came up on my FB and its algorithm, which completely turned my life around. The timing was crazy and I’ll always be grateful for them for helping me want to stick around longer.

[asterocky]

Hi, I actually had some more questions, lol. Thank you for answering the last one about Eunwoo and his relationship with the boys.

What happened to Moonbin, he took some time off and it seems like people don’t think it was a shoulder injury, but rather that he needed some time off for his mental health?

I was also wondering what happened to their last management or team? I saw Eunwoo speaking out again about how they were treated? What did their last team do or not do? I don’t remember his exact words but it was something to do with their company.

hello there again!! ^^ it was my pleasure, feel free to shoot any other questions you might have. sorry i'm a bit late with this answer, i was thinking through what to say.

regarding moonbin's hiatus.

i believe that fantagio never said anything concrete - they just said moonbin went to a check up and the doctors advised him to rest and get treatment. so no particular health concern was mentioned, so i can't give you a concrete answer. the mental health narrative might have come from some vlives moonbin did, since he was very vulnerable and obviously not in a good place mentally before blue flame era (like this one or the general conversations they had during their gateway era win vlive). i wish i could give you a more concrete answer, but unfortunately i was not too active since i work full time, so there might have been something concrete said by moonbin about his mental health after blue flame era once he came back. since the fantagio issues happened, astro developed a habit of going to aroha whenever something is bothering them. hopefully someone else can give a more concrete answer.

fantagio issues.

there's a lot to discuss here. i will try to shorten the entire situation the best to my ability but i did follow the subject closely and if you want to read into it more, feel free to go into eliot's fantagio update tag (i suggest starting from this post if you want to get into details). meanwhile i roughly summarized the situation below.

so fantagio music is a subsidiary of fantagio entertainment. and fantagio entertainment a few years back was owned by this chinese corporation jc group (they were the majority shareholders, which means that they had the majority vote during shareholder meetings). one day allegations came out in news portals that:

the board of fantagio dismissed the co-ceo and founder of fantagio na byeongjun. wei jie, who was the ceo of jc group, was instated as the new ceo;

the corporation credit cards were taken away from the staffs, so most of the activities fantagio's actors and idols had were funded out of the pocket of the staffs and idols. rumors circulated that astro and weki meki ended up paying for their fans' meals during isac out of pocket, too;

jc group was pooling the money fantagio made to an unrelated hong kong company also owned by the group;

fantagio organized a crisis meeting and settled with 9 demands for jc group, which included reinstatement of the former ceo amongst other things, as most worried that since jc group is pooling whatever fantagio makes into a hong kong company, that jc group will start selling their artists for profit.

(this is why moonbin always says he's the oldest standing fantagio member, idols and staffs included - the ceo was not reinstated and many staff, including astro's manager, left the company)

so staffs were fired and replaced by jc group (they have nothing to de with entertainment btw) staff. it should be noted that wei jie became ceo of fantagio entertainment, but not fantagio music. at the time, fantagio music's ceo was woo youngseung, so aside from the company card limitations, the artists weren't affected that much. however, all hell broke loose when jc group fired woo youngseun and wei jie (i believe) became the ceo. that was the exact moment fantagio music started operating illegally, as based on south koren laws, the ceo of an operating entertainment company has to have a certain entertainment license and ceratin experience. the new ceo was not registered in the korean entertainment management association, which was also a problem. at this point there was no choice but to stop all idols' and actors' activities because everyone that was under contract with fantagio entertainment, which did not have the required licence, would also be considered to be operating illegally. basically everyone under fantagio was forced into a hiatus because of all of the shit jc group caused because of their incompetence.

then the korean entertainment management association reached out to an illegally operating fantagio and gave them 45 days to appoint a new ceo with the relative registration and experience or fantagio will be removed from the association entirely. with all that happening, actors started going through court to terminate their contracts with fantagio. in general there were many uncertainties with the artists under the company, some news portals going so far as to say that "fantagio has no future".

for a while, fantagio (jc group) threatened their actors who went against them (terminating contracts) with court and ignored any korean entertainment association complaints and lied to press that they WERE operating legally. however, many contradicting articles came our and entertainment associations publicly announced that memebers of the associations (which is basically most of the korean entertainment industry) are banning fantagio and basically no one within the association will be working with them.

but then karma came to bite in the ass and the main vilan wei jie who was the ceo was arrested for illegal funding activities (which probably includes the before-mentioned cash pool in an unrelated hong kong company situation). also, the former kbs ceo was appointed as a new fantagio music ceo. a bit later the second main vilan of this story - jc group - sold their ownership of fantagio back to this other shareholder l&a holdings (i believe, don't quote me on this)! which was highly celebrated because fantagio became it's own company again. later fantagio did have a dispute with l&a holdings, but it was nothing too major.

as of today the company is fairly stable and doing well, the largest sources of income being ong seongwoo, astro and cha eunwoo. recently, there has been a dismissal of the management once more and a new management for fantagio music was instated. everyone had war flashbacks for a moment got scared. but it turns out the new management seems eager to put their people out there, as right after the announcement of the new management, astro announced their astro x aroha festival, comeback and all members finally had their own schedules to attend to. and right now all of astro seem to be working on something as the management cleared their schedules, also we got astro zone - to put it simply, we had not seen so much activity from astro for a while so this new management brings hope. also, fantagio was said to be getting more funding and expanding more into acting industries (i think they released more shares, too, which usually means expansion of the company), the financials of fantagio for 2020 have been the best in comparison to the last three years. so as of right now, we can be happy it's in the past and look forward to what fantagio can bring in the future.

also, it's worth mentioning that astro stayed really strong throughout the period and whenever we expressed worry about them, they always tried to calm us down and say that everything is okay and they're doing well. however, once the whole thing was over astro came out with always you, lyrics of which express just how NOT OKAY astro were throughout the fantagio issues and how hard it was behind closed doors, the song dedicated to the fandom. they were very emotional and open about what happened, a lot of fans left throughout the period (as they were on hiatus for a year basically) and astro ended up thanking the ones that stayed with them. there's also this video from astro star light where each member shares a little bit about what went through their minds, from uncertanties, fright and feeling thrown out.

[popcornbutterflymedia]

GRAY IS AS MUCH A COLOR, AS ANY IN THE RAINBOW. 

star cinema possesses this magical gift of turning the hardest of skeptics into the most hopeless romantics. when improbable tales of love are committed to screen it becomes a reality that’s a little easier to grasp, yet, there was a smidge of trepidation that i personally, maybe a bit unfairly, added to the already considerable weight of this movie. these trepidations aren’t born out of doubt of the creative team’s skill, they are in fact some of my favorite people, nor is it born out of ignorance of the power donny, belle, and their fandom holds.  it’s rather the keen awareness that  since the height of the pandemic donny and belle are only two of the few artists who are working, the two who have broken through and made the biggest strides, as far as i am concerned, for a network that has been a casualty of the current socio-political situation. movies and entertainment have been pushed down on the list of priorities, and yet, art and entertainment, cinema have never been more essential than at this time of crisis. 

to ask donny and belle to carry such weight feels unfair, and yet to have a movie at all is something to thank God for. this is simply to say, i was ready to take anything star cinema could give us. to have this movie exceed my expectations on all fronts is impressive enough. now to have it become one of my top tier star cinema favorites this early on, due to some intensely personal reasons we might get into later, is blowing my mind.

star cinema and its films go through phases. i do not remember when i started paying attention to how many of its movies i allowed to speak to me so closely that i began to recognize patterns: romantic comedy with a touch of drama, conflict of some sort, a familial element. there has been a string of movie favorites that followed this template, some of which i had written about just to quell my feelings that could not be shared to anyone in real life. these favorites are held close to the heart, thoroughly understood and deeply felt. for the longest time, though, i have been quietly wishing for a love story between a character incapable of love, for whatever reason, and a character who is available to everyone, loves until they’re empty because they know what it’s like to regret, who then uses joy to keep deep seated sadness at bay. i also wanted a story about those who willingly stay, but lose a lot by living for others. as for the reason to stay behind, that to me, was open and negotiable, because certain reasons for staying behind, for conflict are still to taboo to discuss on mainstream media. any attempt would fall short in execution. i always wondered how a story between someone who is stuck, and someone gives until they’re empty would progress, how that would be written. no local story has gotten that certain inner conflict right, in my eyes, at least. there was this nagging feeling that i was asking for too much, so i never really spoke about it verbally, and  i just waited.

and then this movie comes along. 

love is colorblind is a best friends turned lovers story, where love is all that matters, and yet love isn’t all that. in this story love is more a certainty than a question. this is a story of a realistic, grounded love rather than a romantic fairytale. this story is all these things and yet is it so much more. this isn’t a synopsis to reel more people in. i am bad at those. this is just me marveling at how this story was told, and made different, and made to matter. 

the film’s opening finds ino’s parents in a dream: his mother in front of her easel, while father and young son wax poetic about colors. we are roused from that dream to find a reality for present day ino that’s stagnant and gray. in present day hong kong we find cara giving up on her roommates, and claiming the west for herself, or perhaps her entire country. (i see what you did there, genius!) in the next moment, cara comes back to a parentless home with only her sisters, her auntie to call family, and a fledgling bakery that sold cheese bread that was once legendary. this particular homecoming was such a surprise, to her auntie, especially, that i initially thought she would be her core conflict. i was wrong.

cara’s first, (and it seems, only) mission this homecoming is to reconnect with her best friend ino who refuses to be found. he leaves no trace of his identity on the face of the internet, his jobs are multiple and short lived. she finally finds him coming out of a random tattoo shop and from then on, refuses to let go. literally. 

she accompanies ino to his job with a client at a motel. we get a few suggestive comedic moments that in hindsight is just the tip of the iceberg. the best friends catch up. she notices ino wearing mismatched socks, which he plays off as style. she saves him from humiliation by talking the client out of coloring the in the lion that adorns the client’s  ‘juicy butt.’ she talks his ear off, he teases, but does not complain. he treats her to hotdog, feigning generosity, she reminds him that mustard isn’t mayo. we learn the extent of ino’s color blindness. we learn that he’s fallen on hard times, losing the house he grew up in. there are debts to be repaid, an exhibit to mount, and his mother’s reputation to restore. we also learn that she’s (cara) been away for nine months, and that this isn’t the first time she came home. we learn of the time she dropped everything abroad just to come home to him post-accident. he refuses the help she offers, until he almost gets himself run over.

cara finally gets him to speak up. he needs to paint, but his mind and his heart refuses. it’s dead. she could not paint to save his life, but she can resurrect the dead, and so she does. or at least she tries.

cara’s mission is an opportunity to put donny and belle in classic star cinema romantical situations. it felt, to me like the first part of sondheim’s ‘into the woods’ which was a collection of all the fairytales we know and love and feel giddy about. part of celebrating the fact that this movie was born at such an atypical time as this, is again, vowing to take what was given, no matter how simple it seems. it is already worth celebrating to have donny and belle on screen for an entire movie, in moments that pay homage the star cinema tradition that feel familiar to those of us who have been watching the team ups that came before them. the sweetness in this entire first part of cara’s mission is a collective favorite of mine. i do not know if it was on purpose, but it did make me smile. 

the narrative of this film weaves in and out of time, with light and color as its transition markers. from the gray of ino’s vision, the saturated light of their youth, and the balanced brightness of their shared present, this movie is visualized and shot so intelligently. this movie makes the intelligent beautiful.

the intelligent and the beautiful suddenly carved unexpected depth, and from that point on, everything about this movie became an emotional surprise. the hallway “eroplano”  scene is a moment that lead the way to the steep curve of the story. it set the tone for the second half of the film. while it’s true that light flooded their idealistic youth, their shared past, we get glimpses of some sun drenched tragedies of their childhood that break the rule of illuminating the idealistic, and proposed the idea of light signifying distance, from a childhood innocence that cannot be revisited. for ino,  it seemed to suggest childhood traumas that enjoyed the generosity of light that should stay , trapped in the past.

more on trauma and conflict later on.

can we talk about the ensemble cast in the context of the character?

in this best friends turned lovers story, love isn’t a question to be answered but a certainty waiting in the wings for its right time, and timing, a certainty that is tested. that’s where sky and iris come in. 

iris, played effortlessly by angelina, (so effortless, it’s hard to believe it’s her first movie ever) is an art curator, the lady in red, and ino’s patient mentor. she succeeds in helping ino paint again. through her voice colors and their corresponding emotions sound like poetry.  she is a woman of sophistication and confidence. she confident enough to own her feelings, even her feelings for ino.

sky, played by jeremiah is our favorite donbelle third wheel. he was able to craft a character entirely different from his last third wheel character. sky has always been there every time cara needed him. even when she didn’t. he was there when ino was lagging behind. he made himself better for himself, and for her. 

this might be the most mature love quadrangle i’ve seen in recent years. both characters vying for ino’s and cara’s attention, have enough self-respect and awareness to see the writing on the wall. these two characters are interesting to me, because on paper, sky and iris would make perfect partners for cara and ino respectively. they would be the easier choice. sky and iris are both healers. healers do not always get to be the beloved. and that is another way this movie challenged the formula. and i love the creatives for that.

esnyr’s multi-verse of characters feature throughout the movie. i must admit, i know very little about him, seeing him only on twitter, as i do not have a tiktok account. i have yet to give in. this film introduced him to me, and i must say, his brand of comedy makes me laugh the most. he is observant, has his pulse  on what is funny, he is so intelligent, and unbelievably quick and witty. his characters serve to break the tension of the story in the right places. the turns his comedy takes prevent monotony, and at times his emotion reflects the emotion of the audience. his emotion gives audiences permission to go through their emotions. that’s another cool thing about his characters, they were either reactionary or a trigger, whatever the moment needs, and once they did what they had to, they stepped aside. they became, mostly quiet observers. they never overpowered the protagonists, who were also strong and remarkable enough to not be drowned out.

a belated realization on esnyr’s multiple characters is how they are used as plot devices that thread through the entire story. it’s the constant in a story that is constantly changing. come to think of it, the characters are also reflective of our leads. the only time the andrei character left the scene, was when ino came to cara’s house, and left once he saw that cara needed a moment to herself. i am only realizing this as i am writing this down so i can only hope this makes sense.

of foregone resolutions, grounded conflict, and a never ending love story.

to say that both belle and donny did well as cara and ino is an understatement. to better understand the complexities of their characters, is to understand their conflicts.

cara is a girl who is so full of life and energy, and joy, she is almost at the brink of being a caricature of herself. her auntie initially presents herself as conflict, being someone who questions her choices. when we see her break first in the school hallway, pretending to be an airplane in front of ino, we realize that she’s carrying a grief so deep, a guilt so strong, and that hers is a joy that requires much effort. her choices are born of a desire to never leave a stone unturned. she knows what she wants, who she wants, even if her choices do not make sense to those around her.

now, ino’s complexity is difficult to put into words without spoiling the plot. it is difficult to put into words, personally. the first time i saw the movie, after the premiere, i tweeted, ‘dummies guide to loving suffering artists,’ to sum the movie up. that is cara’s journey with ino, and that is ino’s journey with his mother. and that journey with his mother unfortunately tought him what he deserves, and how much he should take of what he’s given.

both ino and cara are huge shoes to fill for donny and belle. they look like stereotypes on paper, when they are anything but. i know cara’s extreme joy and gift for gab is a stretch for belle. and ino might be the toughest, most demanding character i’ve seen donny play. they both were able to make use and maximize their gifts to play their parts as truthfully as possible. for belle, it’s her dramatic gift, and her versatility. for donny, it’s his quiet steadiness, powerful eyes, and his ability to make his moments count.

there is such specificity to how both cara’s and ino’s characters are written, their conflicts, especially. without going into details, i will say i am grateful.  being the hopeful, happy one for others, to the point of being performative, is real.  this is the first movie i’ve seen that used joy as a coping mechanism correctly. this is also the first time i’ve seen the extreme artistic temperament portrayed perfectly, that it hurts. and it heals.

this movie challenges itself and the lessons it offers. through cara and ino, this story teaches acceptance and self love. but that prescription still feels like painting with a broad brush stroke. it’s one thing to know what is deserved, application is an entirely different struggle.  our protagonists know what they deserve, but each their inner turmoil make what they deserve that much more difficult to reach. 

it is a relief that cara was able to come up for air first.  that she, through tita vicky’s help learned to love herself first. it would be heartbreaking to see love go to waste because the people who have so much of it, and so much desire for it are both drowning.

speaking of challenges, this movie is perfect as it is, these are just a few thoughts:

this is a love story, thus the focus on the romance, i get it, but it would’ve been nice to see a bit more of how ino’s mother spiraled. that’s just me and my personal need for it, sort of like another way to tell the story. i also wouldn’t have minded seeing cara’s parents alive, and seeing that dynamic.

another thing is, again, we understand that this is a romance, thus the focus on romance, and love ought to be colorful, but this story also preaches acceptance. it would’ve been cool to see ino on his own, paint for himself in neutrals, and have that signify full acceptance of his condition. and then have him paint in color with the help of those around him. again, these are just thoughts. the movie is perfect as it is. 

something must be said about ino and his complicated  history with his mom. there are hurts that acceptance cannot easily heal, especially when it is conflict itself that shapes a person, when staying strong and fighting is all one ever knows. ‘napagod akong mahalin siya.’ is a very real sentiment, and a line in the movie that has always made me cry, and always will. again, for deeply personal reasons. this makes the last confrontation scene that much more real. for ino, it isn’t a question of love, or even wanting to close the gap with her. it’s the fact that hurting the one he loves is all he ever knows up to that point. it’s not being able to say the words cara is waiting for, because love has always been demanded of him, and not something he has a right to ask for. you see, for those left behind, sometimes it is better to take one’s self out of the narrative to have space to accommodate more of what the other person needs.

on their last dinner date, cara apologizes for what he has been through. she asks if it is guilt that he’s carrying or the burden of not being able to accept what has become of him. great questions to ponder on. and she means well. i feel, however, that the last question is already a given. those who have exhausted themselves for another person, usually know when they are emptied. they, then end up slaying two demons: one of being the one left behind, constantly battling with how much they’ve given, and another, of how much there is left for one’s self.

when cara and ino meet again, one of the first things cara says is ‘madami nang nagbago sa’kin.’ to which ino replies ‘kikilalanin kita.’

this love story knows no concrete end.  it acknowledges that two people in love are constantly changing, and therefore love is a constant choice.

‘gray has never been this colorful.’ he says. it is as much a color, as any other. and even those who find themselves in gray areas of life are both capable, and deserving of love. they say a colored photograph captures an image, a black and white one captures the soul. cara and ino’s love is ever changing, in living color, grounded in reality and soul deep. and all in all, beautiful.

__

hi! well, this has become a quick favorite. it was tough to write though, i hope i covered everything there is to cover, if not, this will be edited when something comes up. i am grateful for this film. much love to all the wizards in star cinema, you guys are the best. ~ p

[k-p-p-d]

Like I Want You

Warning: Nothing; emotions Word Count: 1600

Like I Want You...

You sat on the floor, your back against the wall and your legs thrown over Jackson’s lap.  He was animatedly talking about something you weren’t paying much attention to with Youngjae when he walked in.  Jackson looked to you when he felt your legs tense then his eyes followed yours to the man at the door.  Jinyoung stood there, a smile evident on his face despite the mask covering the bottom half and floppy bangs on his forehead.

Jackson turned to you, “You knew he was going to be here.  It’s fine, just relax mama.  I’m not leaving you.”  He gave you a soft smile and squeezed your knee before turning back to Youngjae and continuing their conversation.  Doing as your friend suggested you settled back, getting comfortable once again before closing your eyes.  You knew he would be here, he should have assumed you would be here.  This was important.  One of the last times everyone would be together before Jackson left for China, Mark for LA and you for wherever the wanderlust took you. 

You had been friends with Jackson for years, meeting at AIS: Hong Kong when your father’s company moved you there as a kid. When he left you for Seoul you had been devastated but you two always stayed in touch. So much so that both of your parents thought for sure you two were developing feelings for one another.  It never happened, attempted yes but nothing came of it.  The two of you were too close, meeting at the time when you were your most awkward, that’s all you saw in each other.

What happened instead was you fell, stupidly hard, for one of his bandmates.  You’d known them all for almost as long as Jackson had known them.  He’d made sure to tell you about them before introducing you when you would come to visit.  It all started fine but the more you got to know them, the more you realized not all of them invoked that familial feeling like you had with Jackson.  One just so happened to check almost all the boxes for what you liked and damn it, if you didn’t have bad luck you’d have no luck at all.  Of course the one you fall for is Park Jinyoung himself.

You could tell when his eyes landed on you in your little corner, the atmosphere in the room shifted.  It was too hot and too cold all at once, the pressure of his gaze crushing your chest.  You opened your eyes slowly, schooling your features into a smile–bright and inviting, but not too cold or too warm.

Sometimes I wish you knew But I disguise the truth I say I’m happy but I’m still stuck on us mmm-mm

You hadn’t seen him in the flesh since the last blow up that led to your break up.  You thought you were ready but seeing him just tossed you in a spin.  Your heart is screaming go to him, he looks so warm and soft but your mind knows better.  Knows all about the burning acidic bite of his words like bile on your tongue.  You can’t make a scene.  Not tonight, tonight is about the boys going on to do what the naysayers said they couldn’t.

Jinyoung’s smile matches your own, never reaching his eyes as he nods to you before setting his bag down.  His mask comes off and fingers go to his hair as he turns to Jaebum.  He’s irritated, no one would notice but you know the signs.  The tightness in his back and shoulders is evidence to the irritation.

“Maybe I should go,” you whisper to Jackson after pulling his sleeve to get his attention.  He looks from you to Jinyoung again before looking back at you.  He was thinking of how to fix it, how to make it better.  He had to figure out how to make it work.  “It’s fine Son, this is important for you all.  I can always pop into LA and see Mark, I’m not selling my place here and we’ll see each other whenever possible in Hong Kong.  I owe your mom dinner,” you smile at him as you rest your hand on his forearm.

Jackson didn’t like this but he wasn’t going to force you into a situation you would be uncomfortable in.  He had hoped against hoping this would work, he could have his family together without it being any animosity or pain.  It’s too soon, he sees that now.  “Fine, but I’m walking you out.”  He makes a move to get up before you stop him, putting more weight on your legs so he can’t move them.

“You stay with your brothers, I’m a big girl.”  You stand and grab your jacket before saying your goodbyes.  The boys, minus Jinyoung, make it known how unhappy they are with your leaving early but the way they look from you to your ex makes it known, they get it.  You’re both too stubborn to admit it but they can see the pain there.  As you finish saying goodbye to BamBam and congratulating Yugyeom one last time you are swept up in a hug by Mark. 

He was the one you worried about the most and the least.  He was going home to friends and family but you told him that no matter what, you were always ready to fly out and beat some ass for him before giving him an obnoxious kiss to the cheek and leaving the room.

You only made it a few steps down the hall when you had to stop.  Leaning against the wall you let your head fall back as you take some deep breaths to calm yourself.  Crying was useless and this was not the time, you were so wrapped up in your thoughts you didn’t even notice someone had followed you out.  Lowering your head you opened your eyes to see two dark ones gazing at you from across the hall.

“Jesus Jinyoung,” you grabbed your chest “you scared the shit out of me.  What are you doing?”  He didn’t say anything, just looked at you.

See you face to face I'm thinking about the days we used to be But I can't make a scene But I can't make it seem Like I want you

“I wanted to make sure you got a taxi safely,” he spoke so lowly you barely heard him.  You would have never known he was talking if you hadn’t watched his lips move.  Nodding you stood from the wall and smiled at him again–controlled and soft, don’t show any emotion.

“Thank you but I’m fine, don’t let me be the reason you miss out,” you bow slightly before walking away.  You make it a few steps before he grabs your wrist, he drops it like you burned him when you look down at where his hand is on you.

“I guess it’s overdue,” he started softly.  “Tell me your point of view.  Tell me, am I to blame?”  He looked at you as if he didn’t know the answer to this, like he wasn’t aware of what was the end for you.

You laughed bitterly, shocking you both.  “You’re so good with change.  I’ve never been okay with it, Sonny used to tease me for it when we met.  But you, you adapt and forget.  That was the problem Jinyoung, you adapted to your new path and forgot about me.”  You turned around fully and crossed your arms over your chest, holding yourself.

You think back to that night where you gave up on the relationship.  It was dead, you both knew it but you refused to give up.  You had made plans, he was done with his latest project so you would celebrate together.  “A table set for two.  You left me waiting but you never showed.  I was tired of being the afterthought Jinyoung.  I thought I was good, I’m not over you and I know that but I thought I could at least be in a room with you but—”

See you face to face I'm thinking about the days we used to be But I can't make a scene But I can't make it seem

“I tried to be patient.  I wanted and still want all the glory and recognition for you and I’m not selfish enough to ask you to give it all up for me.”  Jinyoung stepped closer but stopped short when you shook your head and took two steps back.  “There’s no reason to believe that I can save us then or now.  Sometimes I really wonder,” you look up at him with tears threatening to fall.  “Did you ever love me or was I just convenient because I was there?  If you really love me, say it now.”  You both stood there, the silence of the hall thunderous between the two of you.  You scoff as the first tear falls as you turn to leave.

Jinyoung knew he should move but he couldn’t?  He was frozen, he loved you and he knew he said it to

you but he can’t remember if he ever showed you.  How could he be so stupid and here you are, walking out of his life again.  He doesn’t know how many steps he took before he crashed into you, wrapping his arms around you.  “Why is it so hard to figure out?”  He turned you around in his arms, palms of his hands covering your tear stained cheeks.  “I need you everyday,” he positioned your head so you had to look him in the eyes.

“Believe me when I say it.”

[thatasianstereotype]

Father, This Is Your Future Son-In-Law.

A short little side companion fic to my Adrien x Damian series. 

First: Fuck. I’m Gay. 

Second: Damn, You’re Looking Fine. 

Third: Shit. I Got To Deal With This Bitch (Again).

I’m still working on the fourth and final part of the series (it won’t be as long of a wait as Part 3). But I wanted to write how the Batfam reacted to their youngest suddenly getting a boyfriend while abroad. 

Creative liberties were taken. Also, this is a crack writing. 

The Demon Spawn who has gotten better at not attacking people at first sight but still just tolerates people. And his holier-than-thou attitude is still there with his love for throwing insults around like free candy. 

This is the kid that manages to snag a pure cinnamon roll sunshine as a boyfriend?

This angry grumpy child? 

Needless to say, the Batfam is in disbelief.

.

.

.

“What?” Bruce thought that the Teen Titans mission in Europe was done. “Why do you want to stay in Paris longer? Is something wrong?”

“No Father. I have simply found someone I wish to court. I will be spending time in Paris to see how best to present myself as an exceptional suitor that is all. Give my regards to Grayson that I will be missing Family Night but that I will make it up by introducing him to his future brother-in-law soon.” 

Bruce was too much in shock to answer when Damian hung up. 

“DICK!” 

“I think it’s cute that Dami is getting a boyfriend.” 

“Dick, you oblivious and naive child, you are completely missing the point.” 

Dick rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m pretty sure Damian isn’t actually going to marry someone right now.”

“He said ‘future brother-in-law’ inferring that this courtship he wants to initiate will end in a wedding.” 

“I think you are reading too much into this, B.” 

“And you are not reading enough. Have I taught you nothing at all?

“You taught me paranoia.” 

“I taught you to be prepared for every kind of situation.”

“Pretty sure the possibility of your 17-year-old son getting hitched in Paris can be ruled out.” 

“Where did I go wrong with you?” 

And Dick rolled his eyes once again at Bruce’s dramatic-ness. This. This is where Damian gets it from. 

.

Ever the peace keeper in this dysfunctional trainwreck of a family, Dick managed to stop Bruce from flying to Paris. But much to their frustrations (even Dick’s who wanted to know who captured his baby bro’s heart), Damian did not tell them the name of his potential boyfriend. 

.

All in all, Damian spent about two months and a half in Paris before coming back home to Gotham. And the Batfam could see a difference right away. 

Damian was happy. He smiled (it was a little one but it had Dick squealing in joy) more and he was more tolerate of his brothers and schoolmates. 

“We should’ve shipped him off to Paris earlier if he comes back like this.” 

Tim was still staring at Damian like he was an alien. The demon spawn still insulted him every other day but hasn’t threatened to kill him at all since he came back. No ripping out his intestines to feed to the vultures or throwing him off a building for the rats to feast on. It was nice. Although a little part of him felt slightly unnerving. He doesn’t have any contingency plans involving a Nice!Damian. 

Dick shook his head fondly at his little brother, taking away his coffee full of too much caffeine and replacing it with decaf. He has truly ascended to motherhood. “Well, I think it’s nice that Little D found love.”

“In the city of love. Is no one paying attention to that part?” Jason munched on one of Alfred’s cookies. “Cause I think that’s hilarious. I thought Baby Bat would’ve choked on all the happiness and bright clean air there.”

Dick whacked his arm. “Stop being mean to Dami.”

“But Dickie. It’s how I show affection.” 

.

Adrien Agreste was the son of the supervillain Hawk Moth that have terrorizing Paris for the last 3 years. Batman was not at all pleased to hear that the Parisian heroes called for help and the Justice League turned them away. People have paid for that. Dearly. 

“So his mom’s dead and his dad’s a criminal?” Jason looked over Bruce’s shoulder at the BatComputer. “Kid’ll fit right in with our family. Demon sure knows how to pick them.”

“Hnn.” Bruce grunted. 

“I mean with you dating Selina, a notorious thief and doing the thing with Talia, a very dangerously lethal assassin, it’s no wonder where your son got his taste from.” 

“Jason.” Bruce grunted in a warning tone. 

“I mean when I’m right, I’m right.”

.

“Ok.” Tim started off tonight’s Family Meeting (excluding Damian), the topic being one certain ex-assassin’s love interest. “Looking further into the Agreste kid shows he clearly did not take after his villainous dad. He is one of Paris’ teenage models and have a huge fanbase dedicated to how pure and sweet he is. He is a literal walking ray of sunshine.” 

“How the fuck did that sunshine child tame our literal feral demon brother?” Jason said. Always the VIP asking the important questions here.

Tim actually had an answer for that. He pulled out several charts and data on his laptop and showed it to the others. “Looking further into Adrien, I have found evidence that he is the cat-themed superhero Chat Noir. Being a loveable and touch-starved kitten appealed to the demon brat’s almost non-existent affections.” 

“Timmy, Dami is capable of love.” Dick said in a disappointed voice. 

“I said almost non-existent, didn’t I?” Tim waved the Mom’s disappointment away. “But you guys have got to see this.” 

He pulled up a video of Chat Noir and Ladybug on the big screen. They watched him using his signature move: cataclysm. No one spoke for a few minutes as they processed the sheer destructive powers of the hero.

“You know what.” Jason broke the silence. “I have no more questions. I can kind of see how Agreste is the demon’s type.” 

What baby assassin wouldn’t be turned on by the literal godly destructive powers the baby kitten held in his hands? 

Dick, the only one wanting to keep things semi-PG here, smacked the back of his head. 

.

“Baby brother.” Cass greeted. She is back home from her Hong Kong trip and heard all about the famous Adrien Agreste. She thought it was adorable and that Adrien and Damian made a cute couple. 

“Hello, Cassandra.” 

She peered down at the list he was currently making. She gestured towards it with a confused look. 

“I am compiling a list of tasks that needs to be done before my Chaton and new sister-in-law come to Gotham. Only the best for them after all. 

Her eyes lit up. “New sister?”

“Yes. My mon amour’s sister will be our new one.” He pulled out a picture of her on his phone for Cass to see. “Her name is Marinette and she will be a fine addition to the family.” 

“Baby sister.” Cass said happily. She was always up for new family members. 

“Yes. I imagine you two will get along the best.” 

But she couldn’t help but notice that with all the preparations he is making, even if it is for his boyfriend and new sister, is a bit —how would Steph say it?— overkill. 

Her coal black eyes were sharp as she observed his body language. “You very serious on this. Why?” 

He can never hide anything from his sister. “I wish for them to have a good impression of our family so that their family will not be disincline to reject my proposal for marriage.”

“Marriage?” She was still quite unfamiliar with some words in English. 

“It means that you will be getting another brother too.” 

.

“We will wed.” 

Dick hasn’t even finished his cereal yet. He looked over at Damian’s serious expression. “Did you even ask him yet?” 

“I will present myself as an extraordinary suitor that he will be more inclined to say yes when I ask.” 

“At least you’re treating your man right.”

Damian took offense. “Why wouldn’t I treat my mon amour with anything but the upmost respect and love?”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Little D. I’m just glad you’re in a good relationship and from what I can see, Adrien adores you very much.”

Damian smiled. “I adore my Chaton a great deal as well. Would you like to come with me to pick out a ring?

Dick could just hear Bruce’s voice in his head saying he shouldn’t be encouraging this. But come on, this was his baby brother who grew up learning how to hurt people finding a precious loving relationship for himself and he will be damned if he doesn’t support this. 

“Of course. I’ll be honored to help.”

His baby brother brightened before he launched into a rant. 

“I’m having trouble finding the perfect gem to complement his eyes. They are a certain shade of forest green you see. And many jewelry stores do me a great disservice by not having that certain shade or having utterly appalling quality for what my Chaton deserves.” 

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Taglist: 

@iglowinggemma28 @iz-bell-saiah @nach0ava @roselynfey @mochinek0 @wannajointhecrabcult

[frustratedpoetwrites]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter Characters: James Potter, Lily Evans Potter Additional Tags: Morning After, Goodbyes, Sharing a Shower, reluctant goodbyes Series: Part 2 of The Marauders Pub Soho Summary:

The morning after a night of passion Lily has to leave a soundly sleeping James, but she doesn't want to.

Lily lay staring at the skylight, and watched the patch of sky turn from black to indigo. She just gazed without moving, hardly even blinking as it gradually grew lighter and lighter. She had not been able to find any rest for more than a few brief snatches, as tired as she was. Her whole body zinged with electricity, her brain abuzz with everything that had happened last night and had continued to happen throughout the night. She glanced over towards the body sleeping soundly beside her, the sheets pooled around his waist showing his toned back. He had acquired some new tattoos in the six years since she had last seen him. When she’d remarked on the delicately detailed Lily that was now inked on his right side sweeping across his ribs, he had quipped back that it marked the spot where she had stuck her knife in him when she’d left him to pursue her career. That remark had stung more than she wanted to admit, even though she did deserve it. 

She had told him last night she never wanted to leave his side again, and she had meant it. Especially at that moment, standing in the bar he basically built, surrounded by the memories of their childhood. Engulfed by the overwhelming scent of James himself. At that moment it had been so easy to say yes to all of his questions, say yes to coming here to his place instead of going back to her hotel as she had planned. She wished she could stay in this moment, with the old day finished and the new not yet begun. In this bed with this man forever. But all too soon she would have to leave. She needed to get on a plane in a few hours. If she didn’t, then any dream she had to live in London permanently would be gone.

She glanced around James's attic room trying to see if he even had a clock. She was amazed that he still lived like this. There was a rail for his clothes and a bed so low it was almost like the mattress was on the floor. That was it. She hoped he didn’t live like this all the time, but she suspected his life and energy was spent at the bar.

It had looked so beautiful, the large dark polished oak panels and the brass rail, the small stage with the piano sitting proudly. And all the pictures on the walls of their schooldays. It had always been his dream to run a bar, and the four Marauders had made it a successful reality, but she knew who had been driving it from day one, and she was  incredibly proud of him for that.

She reached for her clutch bag and fumbled in it for her phone. It did not light up when she tapped the screen. Her battery must have died. 

Fuck.

She glanced over at James, still sleeping soundly, and contemplated waking him, but she knew he was exhausted. She had wiped him out, she thought to herself, suppressing a giggle, it had been a wonderful night. He had not forgotten any of the things he used to do to make her whole body hum, and he had learned a few new things too she had discovered. His strength and stamina had greatly increased. Not that she had expected him to hold himself chaste for her, but she still had a pang of jealousy at the thought that other women had touched him, had been with her James. Had they asked about his tattoo? She always thought of him as hers, even though she hadn’t exactly expected to ever come back to him that day she had left. Any time before now when she had considered it she talked herself out of it because she was convinced he would be with someone else.

She rolled over onto her back again, and looked up at the skylight. 

What time was it?

She’d hoped she wouldn't have to do this but she slid off the edge of the bed and took James’s phone out of the pocket of his jeans and opened it, shaking her head at the stubborn distrust for technology that meant he still used an old flip phone. Although at the moment Lily was grateful because she didn’t have to worry about unlocking it.

She tapped in the digits for her assistant's number as she crept into his ensuite, slipping on the dressing gown that was on a hook behind the door.

The phone rang just once before she heard an unsure “Hello?”

“Hey, Jess it’s me…”

“Lily!” came the scream, causing her to jump and nearly drop the phone. “Where the fucking hell have you been? I’ve been calling you all night. Your meeting has been moved up, you need to get to the airport right now!”

“What? Oh, fuck!” Lily took a breath and closed her eyes as her assistant kept rambling over the phone, talking so fast Lily could hardly understand them. “Jess, Jess, Jessie!” She tried to speak urgently and sharply without making too much noise. “I need you to bring me my bag and my suit, the green one. Put an extra pair of underwear in my bag.”

“I’m sorry, Lily, but your overnight bag won’t be enough, I've had to pack your suitcase, you’ll be staying for a week. They’ve sent a whole itinerary, but when we left Hong Kong I didn’t think to pack any of your formal wear. I’ve arranged for the concierge to book a fitting for after your first meeting, once you’ve checked in. Where are you anyway? I need to let Terrence know where we need to come and get you.” 

Lily went to answer then realised she had no actual idea of the address. It wasn’t far from the bar, she didn’t think. But she had been interested in other things besides looking out the car window to notice what neighbourhood they were in. Lily looked up as the door to the bathroom swung open gently, revealing a conscious James leaning against the frame wearing only his battered looking jeans, his tousled hair framing his tired-looking face and his glasses perching on the end of his nose, as if they were mere moments from falling off.

She let the phone fall from her ear slightly as he continued to stare at her, a wry smile reaching only the edge of his lips. 

“Something tells me you aren’t staying for breakfast.” His tone was light but she heard the resignation behind it. As she looked over at her childhood sweetheart, an idea struck her.

“Jess? You still there? Pick me up outside the Marauders’ Pub in Soho. Yeah? And Jess? I'm gonna need another plane ticket.”

“Well, okay boss but they are sending you a priv…..” Lily did not hear the last of her assistant’s words as she closed the flip phone and tossed it back to him.

“I can't believe you still use that antique.” He caught it deftly in his left hand and dropped it into his back pocket.

“I can’t believe I’m letting you dick around with my life again,” he replied, barely even trying to mask the disappointment.

“As much as I'd love to have this argument again, I really need you to pack yourself a bag. Do you have a good suit that fits you?”

He shook his head and blinked at her as she brushed past him to his rail of clothes and started looking through them. He still had some nice attire here, a lot of it she remembered from their life before.

“Lily, wait,” he called after her but she took no notice. She had no time. Already, in her head, she was mapping out what she needed to do. A whole week with these people. The one day originally planned would have been torture, but this... If she had back up maybe she could make it work.  “Stop.” He placed a hand on hers as it rested on the next coathanger. She looked up into his gorgeous eyes as they shone with all the colours as his emotions played out across his face. He was always so expressive. “What are you doing?”

“I want you to come with me.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not? You’re your own boss, you could take the time off. It’s not like you’re the only one in charge. What about Sirius? Or Remus? Or even Pete?” She paused, “Is Pete doing okay? I thought he wanted to go in a, erm, different direction but I saw his name up there with the rest of you?”

He sighed and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. “Pete is a silent partner, he helps out when he can but his wife made him join their family business, he helps by keeping them away.” His hand dropped to his side. “Lily I can’t afford to just drop everything, everybody else has other responsibilities, I’m the only one left to run it and I won't let it fail. My staff depends on me.”

“James, this is me telling you I don’t want to leave you again. I don’t want to go on this trip without you by my side, I could use someone in my corner. I could also use a devilishly handsome, charming, charismatic–” he raised an eyebrow at her seductive tone but didn’t stop her putting her hands on his chest, tracing the antlers that spread across them. 

 “My tattoos aren’t very corporate,” he murmured, his voice sounding deep and throaty. she shrugged in reply,

“You’d be surprised what people hide under their suits these days.” She told him with a twinkle, sobering when his lips thinned. “Please James. I need you.” She hadn’t realised how true those words were until she had spoken them to the universe.

“I’m sorry Lily, but my staff need me more. They rely on me.”

“So you’ve never taken a day off? Never had to call in sick?” Before he could answer her questions an idea struck her. “What if I pay your staff for the week? How much would that be?” He stood for a moment apparently stunned then started laughing and stepped away from her, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She tried not to look upset at his reaction to her suggestion. She stood watching him and waited for his mirth to subside.

“Oh, you are actually serious? You want to pay me so I will spend time with you?” He shook his head as his mirth still rippled through him. “This isn’t Pretty Woman and I’m not some, some...rentboy you picked up off the street.” 

Now he sounded angry. James’ phone started buzzing in his back pocket. She had not thought that offering to pay his staff would equate  to her hiring him as an escort service. Her brain hadn’t gone that way at all. She let him answer his call, as she rushed back to the bathroom for a much needed shower and tried to clear her head.

James may have skimped on bedroom furniture but he hadn’t skimped on his wet room. The shower was a walk-in style and big enough for four people, the naturally textured tiles on her feet were warm as she walked in, the large slabs of highly polished sand-coloured stone on the walls were so neatly fitted she couldn’t even see the joins. 

Turning on the shower filled the room with hot steam and the reassuring splats of water droplets peppering the tiles. Stepping into it, she gasped at the pressure. It was like standing in a tropical rainstorm. She just stood there unmoving, letting the water rush over her enjoying the sensation as it beat down on her head.

“That was your PA on the phone. I gave them this address so you can leave from here.” James said as he stepped into the bathroom like they did this kind of thing all the time. “Thought you might want to have some fresh clothes to wear.”

“You really won’t come?” She asked, trying one last time. She forced herself to keep her eyes forward when she realised he was joining her by the sound of his jeans hitting the tiled floor. 

Despite their recent intimacy, or perhaps because of it, being this close to his naked body turned her core white-hot. She tried very hard not to react as she felt his naked skin brush up against hers.  His arm reached past and grabbed an unlabelled metal bottle from the small alcove. Then his fingers were in her hair and her nostrils were filled with the scent of an English summer garden.

“Is it okay that I join you in here? Thought it would save some time.”

“Yes, okay, it’s absolutely fine,” she tried to keep her voice as neutral as his but even she could hear the breathiness.  

“I told your assistant I can’t, it’s not my scene at all,” he told her conversationally, as if he wasn’t standing butt naked behind her in the shower. He was trying to calm her down, trying to talk about what needed to be talked about. The fact they were taking a shower together didn’t seem to phase him at all. Determinedly, she tried to follow his lead.

“This is not me running away from you. I need you to understand that.” She hummed in pleasure as his fingers massaged deeper into her hair. “I’m sorry if I offended you, offering to pay.” 

 “I’m still not sure if I find it more funny or offensive,” he began. “I can’t say I’m not tempted to run away with you, but you know as well as I do how much of a distraction I would be. You need to be at your best. I will be fine, I’ll just have to trust you’ll come back. That you're not making me the poor jilted lover once more.” He told her. She wanted to tell him he didn’t need to worry, wanted to say all the things that she had agonised about saying as she lay awake beside him in his bed, but no words could adequately explain how she was feeling. So she turned and reached for him, pushing her fingers up across his stubble studded cheeks into his hair and kissing him soundly. Breaking the kiss he tilted her head back as his lips dragged kisses across her throat. She didn’t need to ask where his mind was right now, she could feel his arousal pressing against her stomach. All too soon her brain caught up with her and soundly put on the brakes. “Not that I don’t enjoy where this is going, but we need to stop.” She took a few quick breaths as his hands continued to soap her breasts. “I don’t have the time and I’m a little tender.”

“You were the one who started things, Evans. I was just helping you wash,” he said innocently, amusement dancing in his eyes. But he did take his hands off her body and even though she had asked him to, she mourned the loss of contact. “In all honesty, I don’t think I have it in me right now to perform at my best anyway.” 

“Let’s just put this on pause for now then shall we?” She told him, giving him a gentle kiss, hoping he understood how much he continued to mean to her. Lily dipped her head to rinse the bubbles out of her hair. It felt like silk as she combed her fingers through it.

“What is that shampoo? It’s amazing!”

“It’s a prototype. Remus’ company makes it, the only thing that’s come close to making my hair behave. He’s made it his personal mission to tame it. He gives me a new formula just about every week.” He pointed to the small bathroom cabinet above the sink. “The conditioner’s in there, it's one you have to leave in. I put towels on the hook.” She stepped aside once she was rinsed, letting him have the full force of the shower. 

“Does he always make it smell like flowers?”

“Yup.” She expected him to elaborate but when he didn’t she just let it go and stepped out of the shower. She found the small spray bottle in the cabinet simply labelled conditioner and scrunched some into her hair as she watched James wash his. The bubbles slid down his frame in ways that made her wish she could just step back in there with him.

Lily wished she could continue to stare at him but her logical brain was kicking in to tell her all that she still had to do. Moving back to the bedroom, she twisted her hair up out of the way while she looked for anywhere he would store things. There wasn’t even a cupboard in the bedroom so she padded her way through to the living space. She barely remembered it from the night before, and she was stunned at how minimally he lived.

It was a beautiful apartment, the exposed red brick looked amazing with the warm honey-coloured wooden floor. The living space was a good size for London, the kitchen looked brand new with a wooden worktop that matched the floor and clean white cupboards. She spotted the coffee machine, and hunted in the cupboards to see if he had any beans, suppressing her irritation when every one was empty. 

The more she looked around his place, the less it felt like he lived here at all. There was a giant modular brown leather sofa taking up the majority of space in the living area, a coffee table that looked like it was made out of granite, and a giant tv on the wall. 

“What is this place to you James Potter?” She mused as she looked around. She was tempted to start rummaging in drawers (if there were any) but it felt like possibly a step too far for now. 

The intercom buzzed impatiently making her jump guiltily and nearly drop her towel. As she stared at the white box on the wall and wondered how to operate it James came striding out of the bedroom holding a hand towel around his waist, hair still dripping. He lifted the receiver then buzzed to let the person come up. “It’s your assistant.” He explained before vanishing back to the bedroom.

Lily stood looking through the peephole until she saw her assistant's blonde head appear from the stairs.

She opened the door and ushered them in quickly. Taking the bag from them awkwardly with one hand.

Jessie looked around and hummed appreciatively. “This is nice, you could do a lot with this place. When are they moving in?”

“I don’t know,” Lily replied quietly. “I’m going to go change. Can you play nice with James, please? It would be great if you two get on.”

“Well I’ll behave if he will,” Jessie swept an invisible strand of hair out their face before relenting to Lily’s reproachful look. “Alright, alright. When we spoke on the phone they were pleasant so I can be too.” 

“Great, I’ll be super quick,” as she made her way back into the bedroom James stepped out wearing that same pair of jeans he seemed incredibly fond of and one of his many black Marauders Pub t-shirts. He put out a hand to stop her as she tried to slip past him.

“I’m going to get out of your hair,” he said quietly. She could tell by the tone he didn’t want to be here when she left, didn’t want to be the one left waving by the door. She understood that in an instant, saw it in his sad eyes, and the hesitant touch he placed on her arm. 

“Okay.” With a glance at her assistant she walked him back into the bedroom. “This was not how I wanted this to go,” she said, keeping her voice down once she knew they were alone.

“Saying goodbye brings back bad memories,” he told her shuffling his feet and running a hand through his hair. “I want to believe you're coming back this time.”

“Of course I’m coming back. I’ll call you, every day. But could you do something for me?” She asked, reaching to snake her arms around his neck.

“Can you get yourself a new phone so we can video chat?”

“Yes, Evans I think I can manage that,” he told her, leaning down to kiss her goodbye for the last time. 

[pinehurst]

My Take on the First 3 Episodes

Let’s talk about Fugou Keiji for a second because I’ve been dying to talk about it. 

After waiting practically 5 months, the long-awaited third episode finally aired. I remember back when Fugou Keiji was first announced the hype over Daisuke took over the internet. Good looking? Check. Rich? Check. Parted black hair? Check. Nonchalant? Sign me up. I also gave into the hype; heck, who wouldn’t? He’s practically the whole package; my dream man so to speak. The Jumin Han of another dimension.

Disclaimer: This discusses the only 3 episodes out at the moment and as new episodes come out I’ll most likely just create new posts so everything here isn’t really definite so to speak? My theories and beliefs are just based on the first 3 episodes so they may not be the most accurate thing out there.

Disclaimer #2: This is me just rambling on so things may not be in the best order so please bear with me (it’s mainly just my thoughts on how our 2 main characters have developed so far and any theories that I have)

Once the first episode aired, I was absolutely hooked on both the synopsis and the characters. Two detectives working together despite having completely different beliefs? Imagine the drama that would unfold! 

Haru Kato, our main detective, would put his life on the line in the name of justice, taking extreme measures to uphold his humanistic values. The first episode heavily emphasized this idea. He insisted he take part in the entire bomber mission even though he wasn’t apart of the First Division. Ranks mean nothing in the face of human lives. Once he and Daisuke, the richer half of the duo, closed in on the van bearing the bomb, without any hesitation he jumped onto the van only to warn the driver inside, who happened to be a thief. This seemingly innocent civilian’s life was in danger: they had no right to die from a terrorist attack. He knew well of the dangers as there was only a minute left until the bomb detonated, yet his morals took over. If nobody is going to save her, he must do it. Would he have still done this if he knew that the driver was a thief? We can’t be so sure yet.

Even in episode two Haru’s traditional values prevail as he continued to pursue Isezaki, the smuggler in question, despite being exhausted and practically lifeless. The first two episodes really painted Haru as this character who is willing to go to the extreme and literally kill himself for the sake of others. His work method basically revolves around these old-school techniques.

Kanbe Daisuke lies on the opposite side of the spectrum though. He is far more materialistic and uses his wealth to buy his way through every situation. In need of a car? Just buy it from the prince of the Abura Emirates. A tower is affiliated with a smuggler? Just buy the tower and do whatever you must. He marches to the beat of his own drum, refusing to cooperate with Haru and even ignores his complaints. Haru is very clearly repulsed by Daisuke’s ways as he views it as though he’s cheating at life. Using money instead of working hard? Pathetic. Daisuke, on the other hand, just doesn’t seem to understand Haru’s views. Why go through all that trouble when you could easily solve it through a few million bucks? He doesn’t necessarily value human lives in the same way that Haru does either. As seen in the first episode, he almost ran over a mother and her son if Haru hadn’t intervened. But Daisuke’s character is far more complex in my opinion.

This is where my theories come into play. I suspect that something happened in Daisuke’s past that caused him to lose trust in others or even respect for other humans if we could go to that extreme. The series began with Daisuke playing the piano while saying:

“I had a father, and I had a mother. I believe I had a happy childhood. However, ever since a certain day, everything had changed.” 

This led me to believe that maybe possibly his parents died from a tragic murder or anything that would cause him to lose sympathy or care for others. Or any type of sad backstory for that matter. Maybe this is why someone of his rank and wealth even decided to join the police/detective force in the first place rather than selfishly indulge in his wealth.

Anywho, the first episode really helped build my theory. This is especially notable at the end as Daisuke is driving the prince’s car up the bascule bridge to push the cleaning van with the bomb. He smirks that devilish smile that we all swooned over the first time we saw it as the van crept closer to the edge of the bridge. Once Haru jumps out of the car to save the “civilian” inside, Daisuke’s facial expression changes to a much more soft, almost confused expression. A few minutes later when Haru is hanging off of the bridge, Daisuke watches Haru helplessly hang. He’s the one who decided to help the civilian, now he’s suffering the consequences. Why help him? 

Episodes 1 and 2 really helped to establish the contrasting personalities and mindsets between Haru and Daisuke, which I really enjoyed. The fact that our two main characters are as different as night and day made the show much more comedic, which I absolutely enjoyed! The subtlety in the expressions too: stunning. *chef’s kiss*

The third episode elaborated on their personalities and really added a sort of “depth” to them. Oh boy was this episode chaotic and full of new information. This is the episode where we see their first step towards true partnership, Haru’s backstory, and even met grammy Kanbe. Let’s dive into it.

The episode started off with Daisuke, Haru, and Suzue visiting the Kikuko, or Daisuke’s grandmother. As of right now, it’s still unclear whether Suzue is Daisuke’s fiancé or sister, but either way she was in no way the focus of the episode. Daisuke seems much more submissive towards his grandmother, a side of him we’ve yet to see. This is even prominent in the opening song as Daisuke is seen smirking alongside the other members of the Modern Crime Prevention Task Force (MCPTF) yet he has a much more neutral face around his grandmother. Is it out of respect? Quite possibly. He is much more composed (even though he always has been) and compliant, furthering my case. Back to my theory, maybe his grandma raised him after his parents died and that’s where his respect grew from. The possibility is always there.

It’s also noticeable that Daisuke seems much more irritated towards Haru as in practically any screenshot from these first few scenes you could feel the pique radiate from him. Daisuke even gave Haru the stink eye a few times before Haru ratted him out to his grandmother (harsh). Whatever happened in Hong Kong must’ve been brutal, but it really helped throw a curveball in their relationship. 

After that bop of an opening, it’s revealed that Haru is sitting next to a student facing lots of difficulties early on ranging from his sister’s bad health to failing his college entrance exam. Haru very clearly sympathizes with this kid as he also failed his first college entrance exam, and heck who wouldn’t feel bad for a kid going through this much stress? Imagine the absolute grief Haru felt when he found out that it’s that same kid who held a woman at gunpoint later on. When calling Kamei later on, Haru shouted:

“No! Don’t tell him. Absolutely not.” 

Considering his relationship with his fellow peers, we can safely assume that he’s referring to Daisuke. At this point, we know that Haru doesn’t trust Daisuke at all. Like not even a sliver. That rich boy help him? No sir. No thank you. 

This scene also unveiled the tension between Haru and the First Division. Haru and Hoshino are clearly not on good terms as they speak formally to one another, almost as though they weren’t partners a few years back. A flashback plays soon after and its revealed that all went downhill when Haru misfired and ended up wounding one burglar and killing one innocent civilian (who held a gun at Haru most likely out of fear; I mean, who wouldn’t be scared in such a situation). This ultimately led to his demotion to the Third Division. Lots of drama. Lots of tears. This backstory revealed exactly why Haru is unable to shoot anymore: his past trauma is to blame. 

Haru still clearly cares for Hoshino though. When he and Daisuke listened in to the First Division’s call line, Haru practically prayed that the perp wouldn’t get shot, for both the sake of morals and for his friend. His “friend” is mentally incapable of shooting anyone and the perp just “isn’t a bad guy.” Haru is revealed to be an even greater advocate of morality and humanism than we previously thought. Even though this college student was hosting a stand-off, Haru refused to believe that he was any less human and hoped to find a way to prevent him from approaching death’s doorstep. So, to answer the question from earlier: yes, Haru would still save the thief if he was aware of it. He values human lives to the point that the First Division had the audacity to say that he “has no right to be a police officer.” 

Daisuke listened closely to Haru’s wishes and worked to make them come true. He worked to find a way to bring the perp down without any bloodshed and practically did anything to conform to Haru’s wishes, ranging from allowing him to use HEUSC to setting off smoke rockets to prevent the perp from getting shot by the police. When the First Division chief insists that Haru shoot the perp, Haru is clearly hesitant. What if things go wrong again? No, why should he shoot him when he wants him to live? Should he just throw away his morals in the midst of panic? Haru is shown to try to reason with the perp and just couldn’t bring himself to shoot him. Maybe there will be some development in the future? Who knows. 

Daisuke later on bribes the perp by stressing he’ll pay for his sister’s surgery in order to resolve the actual reason he decided to host the stand-off in the first place. Daisuke obviously did it for the mission and maybe he didn’t feel remorse whatsoever (heck who can tell what Daisuke is thinking) but I have a feeling that as the series progresses Daisuke will start to do these acts of kindness not only for the case but also out of authenticity. The perp seems intimidated (possibly by Daisuke’s lifeless expressions) and gives in and the day is saved! The third episode formally wraps up with another unforgettable bop. 

The takeaway from the entire episode is that Daisuke started cooperating with Haru and even allowed him to use HEUSC. Was this because he had a change in mindset? Or was he just following his grandmother’s wishes? Personally, I believe it’s both but leaning towards the latter. Daisuke, as mentioned before, has a different kind of respect for his grandmother and would submit to her wishes. Since she said “don’t trouble your coworkers,” he decided to work with Haru rather than just alongside him. She also insisted that Haru help coach Daisuke, so once again, he’s following her orders. However, I do believe that Daisuke is rather curious about Haru’s lifestyle. They are quite different as a matter of fact. He wanted to understand how Haru could easily put his life on the line for other people and maybe even wanted to change himself. That’s unlikely considering it’s only the third episode, but that possibility is still there. 

But I strongly believe that Daisuke had a change in mindset, even if it may be small. He jeopardized his life and walked towards the perpetrator only because he trusted Haru’s words: “He isn’t the type of guy to kill.” Maybe Daisuke did this only to follow his grandmother’s wishes. Maybe he did this out of sheer trust. Maybe he did this to try to better his relationship with Haru (the chances are, yet again, a bit low). Nonetheless, he still put his life at risk and this was one small step in their partnership (and one giant leap for fangirl-kind). That’s not to say that their relationship isn’t still iffy. Whenever Haru starts to speak in the car, Daisuke just puts the pedal to the metal and drives off into the distance.

Personally, I enjoyed this shift in character in Daisuke in the third episode. I've seen many comments regarding how it's sudden that his character changed, but I felt as though it made sense (as explained above). I see where they're coming from as we were robbed from the Hong Kong trip, and it’s evident that something happened in Hong Kong that caused a shift in their characters; however, I felt as though the third episode put emphasis on the fact that Daisuke is changing whether it be by his free will or his grandmother’s, or both. 

In conclusion: I cry over pretty boys so much to the point that I wrote an entire review on them.

EDIT: So it’s been confirmed that we’re going to learn about what happened in Hong Kong in a drama CD. All I can say is yes

[drowning-in-dennor]

Fire and Ice

Leonor and Sula celebrate the Mid-Autumn Festival together. [Happy early Mid-Autumn Festival, everyone!]

   Within Sula’s midnight-blue eyes, the lanterns glow gold.

   Lee Tung Avenue, bright and beautiful and practically glowing in the night, is alive. Everywhere Leonor looks, people are milling around under the ornate vermillion lanterns hanging from buildings, snapping photos. Hand holding hers, Sula stares at them with wide eyes, taking in the sight of what her first mid-autumn’s festival looks like.

   “They don’t have anything like this in Iceland, do they?”

   Sula shakes her head. “The closest we have is the midsummer’s eve festival. But that doesn’t even compare to this.” She drags Leonor towards an interesting-looking sculpture with childlike excitement, dodging families and groups of friends.

   Leonor smiles, trailing behind Sula as she stares up at the sculpture with a ghost of a smile, before bending down to run pale, slender fingers over the plaque, over Chinese characters that must seem ever so unfamiliar to her. Finally, when Sula straightens up, Leonor quips, “this is way better than Europe, huh?”

  She silences Leonor with a playful kick to the shin. “Oh, shush. It’s just…” she scans Lee Tung Avenue again, eyes alight with pure, unadulterated joy. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”

   “Of course you haven’t,” Leonor teases, “it’s your first time in Hong Kong. By the way — ” she squeezes Sula’s hand “ — are you hungry?”

   No reply comes from Sula, and instead Leonor gets a blank stare. “We just had dinner half an hour ago.”

  “The perfect time for dessert.”

  “No way.”

  “Oh, come on.” It’s Leonor’s turn to drag Sula, towards a small egg tart shop just at the end of the Avenue. “You’ve never had real, authentic Hong Kong-styled egg tarts.”

  “I thought we were supposed to have mooncakes today.”

  “Those cost an arm and a leg.” She leads Sula into the shop. “And these egg tarts are so tasty, you’ll forget about mooncakes in an instant.”

  Sula snorts derisively and reaches for her wallet. “I doubt that.”

  “Not for long.” Leonor stills Sula’s hand before she can pull her wallet out. “And no paying. This can be my treat to you.”

  Still grumbling under her breath, Sula shakes her hand free and crosses her arms. Leonor, all too used to her antics, laughs and pays the shopkeeper for a pair of egg tarts. She hands one of them, greasy wrapper and all, to Sula. “Go on, try it.”

  Yelping in surprise at how hot the tart is, Sula covers her mouth after taking her first bite. And when Leonor finally stops snickering and she stops glaring, she says, “it’s amazing.”

  Leonor grins triumphantly as she takes a bite out of her own egg tart, letting the rich custard and flaky dough turn her giddy with bliss. “See, I told you.”

 “And I guess you were right,” she huffs, “but you don’t need to get another one. These are filling enough as is.”

  She pokes Sula’s cheeks and dodges before her red-faced partner can smack her hand away. “One day, maybe if your sisters visit Hong Kong with you, we can go to this amazing diner, right in the middle of the Avenue.”

  Sula points at a gaudy sign, bright and bold for all to see. “You mean there?”

  “Mmhmm.” Leonor tosses their egg tart wrappers away in a nearby trash-can. “Their food is so good, it might even serve something fit for your snobby palate.”

  Turning even redder and pouting, Sula demands, “take that back!”

  Leonor holds up her hands placatingly. “Just kidding, just kidding. But enough about food.” Rummaging in her backpack, she pulls out a pair of collapsible paper lanterns, painted with soft watercolour that resembles ink swirling in water. “Tonight would be meaningless without lanterns.”

  Accepting a candle from Leonor and placing it at the bottom of her azure lantern, Sula nervously strikes a match. “Won’t these just set the lantern on fire?”

  “I sure hope not.” Leonor lights up her own candle. “I mean, I’ve never seen them do that, so they probably shouldn’t. Now,” one hand holding her lantern, the other one extended towards Sula, she asks, “shall we go?”

  And so they walk, hand-in-hand again, little cages of lights swinging from their grasp. Home is not far, just a few steps away from tasteful sidewalk grafitti, bus stops that seat a few tired workers and stores just beginning to close.

  Leonor extinguishes the lanterns right outside their apartment complex, blowing smoke off the candles and scraping melted red wax off the bottom of the lanterns. She holds the door for Sula, much to their amusement, and on the elevator up to their apartment they lapse into easy conversation.

  Sula admires the painting on her lantern. “Today was amazing, Leonor. Where did you even get these lanterns?”

  “Oh, well, they’re sold practically everywhere in September,” Leonor replies, “no big deal. I’m glad you like them, though.”

   Her smile, wide and nothing like the slight curve of her lips at Lee Tung Avenue before, is one of the most beautiful things Leonor has seen. “I wish I could stay here forever.”

 “You will, once we both graduate from university.” The elevator doors open with a ding and they both step out, Leonor fumbling for the apartment keys. “That degree you want from the University of Iceland won’t take long.”

 “I’ll miss you, once I have to go back.”

 “Hey, why are you suddenly so downcast?” Leonor pushes the door open and turns to Sula. “You’ll be back for Christmas, which is, like, only three months away.”

 “Yeah, but you won’t forget about me, will you?” Sula asks, “not while I’m gone?”

 Lacing their fingers together, Leonor says resolutely, “hey, I thought of you every day since I left Iceland all those years ago. Three measly months won’t do anything to us. Today’s a day we’ll always hold in our hearts, isn’t that right?”

 She takes Sula’s warm, elated embrace as a firm yes.

[sukifms]

            *  GET  A  LOAD  OF  THIS  GUY  .  well  ,  well  ,  look  who  it  is  ....  late  and  highly  ashamed  of  it  :  it’s  me  ,  it’s  kofi  .  as  mentioned  in  my  intro  within  the  di.scor.d  chat  ,  i  prefer  she / her  or  they / them  pronouns  and  i  reside  in  the  eastern  tz  .  i’ll  be  introducing  the  too  hot  to  trot  sukanda  baramichai  ,  known  affectionately  around  the  world  as  suki  .  i  already  know  i’m  about  to  write  a  NOVEL  so  strap  yourself  in  ladies  ,  gents  ,  and  non - binary  pals  !

            read   all   about   sukanda  ‘suki’  baramichai,   otherwise   affectionately   nicknamed   the  prom  queen.   the   twenty  three  year  old   model  and  podcaster   is   widely   known   for   being   scintillating,  poised,  bellicose,  and  vampish,   and   recently   made   headlines   when   they   allegedly  was  seen  vacationing  on  a  yacht  with  an  older  man  who  is  married  and  has  children.   apparently   judas   claims   to   be   sitting   on   an   even   bigger   story   involving   them   -   whatever   the   truth   may   be,   i'm   sure   it   won't   stay   hidden   for   long.   &   luxurious  satin  robes  brushing  against  tan  skin,  crystalline  eyes  glassed  with  glittering  tears,  the  lingering  scent  of  peach  vanilla  long  after  she’s  gone,  and  a  practiced  smile  highlighted  by  bright  stage  lights.   ◜   ⭒   ◞

trigger  warning(s)  :  mentions  of  an  eating  disorder  and  poor  parenting  .  

stars  can’t  shine  without  darkness  .

name  :  sukanda  baramichai .

nickname(s)  :  suki  ,  the  prom  queen  .

age  +  date  of  birth  :  23  +  may  25th  ,  1997  .

astrological  sign  :  gemini  .

myers - briggs  personality  type  :  esfp  ,  the  entertainer  .

enneagram  type  :  the  individualist  .

moral  alignment  :  chaotic  neutral  .

gender  +  pronouns  :  cis  female  +  she / her / hers  .

place  of  birth  :  pathumwan  ,  thailand  .

place  of  residence  :  manhattan  ,  new  york  city  .

sexual  orientation  :  bisexual  .

romantic  orientation  :  biromantic  .

occupation  :  former  beauty  queen  ,  sugar  baby  ,  model  +  podcaster  (  suki  &  sage  )  .

nationality  :  thai  ,  obtained  american  citizenship  in  2018  .

ethnicity  :  thai  .

language  spoken  :  english  ,  thai  ,  and  basic  japanese  .

instagram  handle  :  sukichai  .

what  would  you  wish  for  if  you  had  one  more  chance  ?

            sukanda’s  story  begins  in  the  beautiful  district  of  pathumwan  ,  where  she  was  the  second  child  of  five  .  the  first  child  in  the  baramichai  family  was  her  older  brother  phya  ,  who  was  three  years  older  and  absolutely  terrified  of  the  baby  that  didn’t  speak  .  by  the  time  sukanda  was  three  ,  the  two  had  become  best  friends  ,  and  although  sukanda  couldn’t  keep  up  with  him  and  his  friends  ,  he  always  made  sure  to  play  with  her  once  big  tears  collected  in  her  eyes  .  after  sukanda  ,  the  baramichai  family  was  filled  with  three  other  children  :  two  daughters  named  hansa  and  tulaya  ,  and  lastly  with  a  son  named  daeng  when  sukanda  was  thirteen  .

           while  growing  up  ,  sukanda  lived  in  a  world  of  wealth  .  her  mother  ,  kamlai  was  known  throughout  thailand  for  being  one  of  the  country’s  best  dermatologists  and  also  owning  chai  cosmetics  ,  a  luxurious  skincare  brand  .  her  husband  ,  suran  ,  is  a  highly  respected  cardiothoracic surgeon  at  one  of  the  best  teaching  hospitals  in  their  country  .  the  two  made  a  lavish  living  for  their  children  ,  continuously  taking  them  on  trips  around  the  world  ,  educating  them  at  the  best  schools  ,  and  never  allowing  them  to  leave  with  a  hair  out  of  place  .  for  sukanda  ,  though  ,  her  mother  seemed  to  take  more  of  an  interest  to  her  .

           of  course  ,  sukanda  was  a  little  girl  who  liked  to  play  with  her  mom’s  makeup  ,  and  would  ask  for  her  mom  to  put  lipstick  on  her  while  she  was  getting  ready  in  the  mornings  .  she  appreciated  clothes  and  shoes  ,  and  even  formed  a  love  for  perfume  when  her  mom  let  her  wear  it  to  school  once  .  naturally  ,  kamlai  took  sukanda’s  interest  and  decided to  run  with  it  .  when  sukanda  was  four  ,  her  mother  put  her  in  her  first  beauty  pageant  .  despite  not  being  trained  ,  it  was  evident  that  sukanda  had  a  natural  talent  for  pageantry  ,  so  that  became  her  way  of  bonding  with  her  mother  .  she  also  entered  dance  classes  for  her  talent  in  the  show  ,  and  naturally  ,  sukanda  was  good  at  that  as  well  .

           as  she  grew  older  ,  though  ,  sukanda’s  mother  began  to  take  more  interest  in  ensuring  that  she  was  the  most  perfect  out  of  siblings  .  when  they  were  playing  outside  ,  sukanda  was  kept  in  the  house  ,  running  through  her  pageant  routine  over  and  over  again  until  her  eyes  were  heavy  from  sleep  .  during  the  school  year  ,  she  did  her  homework  ,  went  to  dance  practice  ,  practiced  her  routine  ,  slept  ,  and  did  it  all  over  again  the  next  day  .  sukanda’s  love  for  pageants  never  changed  ,  but  she  was  beginning  to  resent  how  much  she  was  unable  to  enjoy  the  things  that  her  siblings  and  friends  were  able  to  .

oh  ,  but  you’re  so  pretty  ,  the  stars  would  cry  .

          start  of  trigger  warning  --  sukanda  was  fifteen  when  she  began  to  train  for  the  miss  teen  thailand  pageant  ,  and  her  mother  changed  for  the  worst  .  sukanda  spent  her  days  working  out  and  dancing  ,  and  if  she  so  dared  to  reach  for  something  unhealthy  during  her  meals  ,  her  mother  would  throw  a  fit  and  berate  her  .  ‘  do  you  want  to  be  fat  ?  ’  her  mother  would  ask  while  throwing  the  food  away  .  ‘  do  you  want  to  start  losing  because  you  can’t  fit  into  your  dresses  ?  ’  the  constant  belief  that  she  would  lose  due  to  her  weight  made  sukanda  think  twice  whenever  it  was  dinner  time  .  she  suddenly  began  to  have  protein  shakes  for  breakfast  and  lunch  ,  there  was  no  snacking  in  her  diet  ,  and  dinners  were  always  small  .  workouts  became  most  important  ,  and  her  pageant  dress  in  the  closet  continuously  loomed  over  her  head  .

          the  stress  of  wanting  to  win  continuously  took  over  the  young  girl  ,  and  she  wanted  nothing  more  than  to  win  ,  and  she  did  .  at  the  age  of  sixteen  ,  sukanda  earned  the  title  of  miss  teen  thailand  ,  but  she  didn’t  stop  there  .  she  continued  on  her  journey  ,  and  it  was  unfortunate  that  food  had  become  the  enemy  .  she  wanted  nothing  more  than  to  remain  skinny  ,  to  remain  beautiful  ,  and  to  remain  a  winner  .  her  siblings  noticed  the  change  in  sukanda  ,  and  would  often  try  to  sneak  food  to  her  at  night  ,  but  were  often  caught  by  their  mother  .  the  punishments  for  natasha  seemingly  never  ended  ,  and  it  all  came  to  a  head  when  she  was  eighteen  years  old  .

           sukanda’s  father  ,  suran  ,  had  taken  her  out  to  have  their  annual  father - daughter  date  .  it  was  filled  with  fun  and  shopping  ,  but  when  suran  had  taken  sukanda  out  for  lunch  ,  he  noticed  how  despondent  his  daughter  was  .  she  simply  sipped  her  water  and  munched  on  small  pieces  of  food  ,  but  she  never  ate  anything  more  than  that  .  worried  ,  suran  confronted  his  wife  about  sukanda’s  eating  habits  ,  and  was  disheartened  to  know  that  she  had  been  eating  that  way  for  a  long  time  .  suran  was  upset  with  himself  for  not  noticing  his  daughter’s  changed  behavior  or  his  wife’s  ,  and  when  sukanda  fainted  from  fatigue  and  lack  of  nutrients  ,  it  was  the  final  straw  .  

          she  was  sent  off  for  treatment  ,  as  was  her  mother  ,  and  her  health  was  instantly  a  priority  .  for  two  years  ,  sukanda  had  to  slowly  relearn  that  food  was  not  the  enemy  ,  and  that  she  had  to  take  better  care  of  herself  .  it  took  months  of  struggles  to  eventually  grasp  with  this  concept  ,  and  she  was  able  to  place  herself  as  a  priority  --  end  of  trigger  warning  .  once  sukanda  returned  home  following  a  year  of  treatment  ,  she  decided  that  she  wanted  to  continue  with  pageantry  .  although  her  mother  was  still  working  through  her  own  treatment  ,  sukanda  wanted  to  provde  to  herself  that  she  was  much  happier  and  healthier  than  she  ever  had  been  .  she  trained  well  and  made  sure  to  take  care  of  herself  ,  and  when  she  was  twenty  ,  sukanda  had  won  the  title  of  miss  world  .

you  smiled  at  the  stars  like  they  knew  all  your  secrets  .

            sukanda’s  life  was  finally  back  on  track  ,  and  she  knew  that  she  needed  to  remain  on  that  path  ,  so  she  decided  to  move  out  on  her  own  .  she  had  gotten  her  own  apartment  ,  and  gained  even  more  recognition  when  she  attended  the  show  for  michael  kors  spring  2019  .  that  same  year  ,  sukanda  went  on  to  participate  in  the  miss  universe  pageant  .  although  she  placed  as  first  runner  up  ,  sukanda  was  honored  that  she  had  gotten  the  chance  .  following  the  pageant  ,  she  was  signed  to  img  models  ,  and  her  career  soared  from  there  .  insert  my  talenti  break  here  CFNJCBHVC  .  she  appeared  on  magazine  covers  such  as  harper’s  bazaar  ,  allure  ,  nylon  ,  vogue  hong  kong  ,  vogue  korea  ,  elle  korea  ,  dazed  ,  and  many  more  .  she  became  the  muse  of  celine  in  2019  as  well  ,  and  due  to  her  growing  demand  ,  sukanda  decided  to  leave  thailand  and  make  los  angeles  her  home  .

            within  a  few  months  of  living  in  manhattan  ,  sukanda  decided  to  rebrand  herself  under  the  nickname  suki  ,  and  it  aided  in  her  meteoric  rise  .  she  soon  decided  to  launch  her  own  podcast  ,  suki  &  sage  ,  where  she  primarily  talks  about  lifestyle  &  wellness  with  special  guests  every  week  .  suki’s  podcast  is  known  for  being  frank  about  various  aspects  such  as  sex  ,  relationships  ,  and  having  ‘  girl  talk  ’  sessions  .  very  recently  ,  suki  was  named  as  the  global  ambassador  for  bulgari  .

look  among  the  stars  .

           as  for  suki’s  personality  ,  the  only  word  that  comes  to  mind  is  chaos  .  she  lives  for  having  good  time  ,  and  it  mostly  stems  from  everything  that  she  missed  as  a  child  .  she  can  be  very  fun - loving  ,  and  she’s  definitely  the  girl  who  doesn’t  want  to  go  home  when  the  club  is  closing  .  she  likes  to  laugh  ,  and  she  loves  to  be  around  people  who  make  her  happy  .  she  has  a  VERY  strong  idgaf  attitude  on  the  outside  ,  but  definitely  worries  about  potentially  relapsing  on  her  ED  ,  but  she  remains  in  therapy  to  help  when  those  thoughts  arise  .  she  can  have  an  over - inflated  ego  at  times  ,  so  be  careful  when  giving  her  a  compliment  !  she’s  super  provocative  and  nows  how  to  use  her  sexuality  in  order  to  get  something  she  wants  .  suki  is  not  so  secretly  a  sugar  baby  (  in  relation  to  her  rumor  )  ,  and  she  mostly  does  it  because  it’s  fun  !  she  likes  attention  ,  very  much  an  attention  hog  ,  and  even  if  the  people  that  she  interacts  with  are  only  paying  attention  to  her  in  exchange  for  money  ,  suki  doesn’t  really  care  .

           i’m  super  late  in  terms  of  plotting  ,  but  i  will  definitely  be  posting  a  list  of  plots  that  i’d  love  to  have  for  suki  !  i  want  to  try  and  get  it  done  before  i  hop  into  doing  some  homework  ,  but  if  there  are  some  plots  where  suki  could  fit  ,  please  let  me  know  !

[clairebeauchampfan]

NYT; wrongthink vs. groupthink

The resignation letter of Bari Weiss, an Op-Ed editor of the New York Times. My highlighting in bold. 

“It is with sadness that I write to tell you that I am resigning from The New York Times.

I joined the paper with gratitude and optimism three years ago. I was hired with the goal of bringing in voices that would not otherwise appear in your pages: first-time writers, centrists, conservatives and others who would not naturally think of The Times as their home. The reason for this effort was clear: The paper's failure to anticipate the outcome of the 2016 election meant that it didn't have a firm grasp of the country it covers. Dean Baquet and others have admitted as much on various occasions. The priority in Opinion was to help redress that critical shortcoming.

I was honored to be part of that effort, led by James Bennet. I am proud of my work as a writer and as an editor. Among those I helped bring to our pages: the Venezuelan dissident Wuilly Arteaga; the Iranian chess champion Dorsa Derakhshani; and the Hong Kong Christian democrat Derek Lam. Also: Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Masih Alinejad, Zaina Arafat, Elna Baker, Rachael Denhollander, Matti Friedman, Nick Gillespie, Heather Heying, Randall Kennedy, Julius Krein, Monica Lewinsky, Glenn Loury, Jesse Singal, Ali Soufan, Chloe Valdary, Thomas Chatterton Williams, Wesley Yang, and many others.

But the lessons that ought to have followed the election—lessons about the importance of understanding other Americans, the necessity of resisting tribalism, and the centrality of the free exchange of ideas to a democratic society—have not been learned. Instead, a new consensus has emerged in the press, but perhaps especially at this paper: that truth isn't a process of collective discovery, but an orthodoxy already known to an enlightened few whose job is to inform everyone else.

Twitter is not on the masthead of The New York Times. But Twitter has become its ultimate editor. As the ethics and mores of that platform have become those of the paper, the paper itself has increasingly become a kind of performance space. Stories are chosen and told in a way to satisfy the narrowest of audiences, rather than to allow a curious public to read about the world and then draw their own conclusions. I was always taught that journalists were charged with writing the first rough draft of history. Now, history itself is one more ephemeral thing molded to fit the needs of a predetermined narrative.

My own forays into Wrongthink have made me the subject of constant bullying by colleagues who disagree with my views. They have called me a Nazi and a racist; I have learned to brush off comments about how I'm 'writing about the Jews again.' Several colleagues perceived to be friendly with me were badgered by coworkers. My work and my character are openly demeaned on company-wide Slack channels where masthead editors regularly weigh in. There, some coworkers insist I need to be rooted out if this company is to be a truly 'inclusive' one, while others post ax emojis next to my name. Still other New York Times employees publicly smear me as a liar and a bigot on Twitter with no fear that harassing me will be met with appropriate action. They never are.

There are terms for all of this: unlawful discrimination, hostile work environment, and constructive discharge. I'm no legal expert. But I know that this is wrong.

I do not understand how you have allowed this kind of behavior to go on inside your company in full view of the paper's entire staff and the public. And I certainly can't square how you and other Times leaders have stood by while simultaneously praising me in private for my courage. Showing up for work as a centrist at an American newspaper should not require bravery.

Part of me wishes I could say that my experience was unique. But the truth is that intellectual curiosity—let alone risk-taking—is now a liability at The Times. Why edit something challenging to our readers, or write something bold only to go through the numbing process of making it ideologically kosher, when we can assure ourselves of job security (and clicks) by publishing our 4000th op-ed arguing that Donald Trump is a unique danger to the country and the world? And so self-censorship has become the norm.

What rules that remain at The Times are applied with extreme selectivity. If a person's ideology is in keeping with the new orthodoxy, they and their work remain unscrutinized. Everyone else lives in fear of the digital thunderdome. Online venom is excused so long as it is directed at the proper targets.

Op-eds that would have easily been published just two years ago would now get an editor or a writer in serious trouble, if not fired. If a piece is perceived as likely to inspire backlash internally or on social media, the editor or writer avoids pitching it. If she feels strongly enough to suggest it, she is quickly steered to safer ground. And if, every now and then, she succeeds in getting a piece published that does not explicitly promote progressive causes, it happens only after every line is carefully massaged, negotiated and caveated.

It took the paper two days and two jobs to say that the Tom Cotton op-ed 'fell short of our standards.' We attached an editor's note on a travel story about Jaffa shortly after it was published because it 'failed to touch on important aspects of Jaffa's makeup and its history.' But there is still none appended to Cheryl Strayed's fawning interview with the writer Alice Walker, a proud anti-Semite who believes in lizard Illuminati.

The paper of record is, more and more, the record of those living in a distant galaxy, one whose concerns are profoundly removed from the lives of most people. This is a galaxy in which, to choose just a few recent examples, the Soviet space program is lauded for its 'diversity'; the doxxing of teenagers in the name of justice is condoned; and the worst caste systems in human history includes the United States alongside Nazi Germany.

Even now, I am confident that most people at The Times do not hold these views. Yet they are cowed by those who do. Why? Perhaps because they believe the ultimate goal is righteous. Perhaps because they believe that they will be granted protection if they nod along as the coin of our realm—language—is degraded in service to an ever-shifting laundry list of right causes. Perhaps because there are millions of unemployed people in this country and they feel lucky to have a job in a contracting industry.

Or perhaps it is because they know that, nowadays, standing up for principle at the paper does not win plaudits. It puts a target on your back. Too wise to post on Slack, they write to me privately about the 'new McCarthyism' that has taken root at the paper of record.

All this bodes ill, especially for independent-minded young writers and editors paying close attention to what they'll have to do to advance in their careers. Rule One: Speak your mind at your own peril. Rule Two: Never risk commissioning a story that goes against the narrative. Rule Three: Never believe an editor or publisher who urges you to go against the grain. Eventually, the publisher will cave to the mob, the editor will get fired or reassigned, and you'll be hung out to dry.

For these young writers and editors, there is one consolation. As places like The Times and other once-great journalistic institutions betray their standards and lose sight of their principles, Americans still hunger for news that is accurate, opinions that are vital, and debate that is sincere. I hear from these people every day. 'An independent press is not a liberal ideal or a progressive ideal or a democratic ideal. It's an American ideal,' you said a few years ago. I couldn't agree more. America is a great country that deserves a great newspaper.

None of this means that some of the most talented journalists in the world don't still labor for this newspaper. They do, which is what makes the illiberal environment especially heartbreaking. I will be, as ever, a dedicated reader of their work. But I can no longer do the work that you brought me here to do—the work that Adolph Ochs described in that famous 1896 statement: 'to make of the columns of The New York Times a forum for the consideration of all questions of public importance, and to that end to invite intelligent discussion from all shades of opinion.'

Ochs's idea is one of the best I've encountered. And I've always comforted myself with the notion that the best ideas win out. But ideas cannot win on their own. They need a voice. They need a hearing. Above all, they must be backed by people willing to live by them.

Sincerely,

Bari “

It’s all there; the Left’s engrained anti-semitism (so often now cloaked by ‘respectable’ anti-Zionism), the refusal to admit of other opinions, let alone to acknowledge the possibility of  their validity, the narrowing of the mind, the cancel culture, the terror of the twitter storm and the mob in the street (”the people” as they like to call themselves) , the sheer spinelessness of the institutional ‘leadership’ unless it is in support of those people who have the ‘right’ opinions.   Sadly, exactly the same process is going on at The Guardian, the BBC and our once great universities. Only Illiberal Groupthink is allowed, and former bastions of liberalism close down independent thought, the better to signal their virtue. 

[mydeardeath]

Ineluctable (4/4)

This was written almost two years after chaper 3 so it’s not quite the end I had first thought of. Not beta read, so sorry for the mistakes 

                                           ___________

Their search for Damian didn't last long. The following morning his name was all over the newspapers along with the word "Omega" written in capital letter. The title was simple but it was sure to sell. Tim had been stuck in traffic on his way to work when he had seen it. He had stopped in the middle of the road and gotten out, ignoring the cries and the honking to take one of the papers. The fact that Damian's true cast had been discovered was concerning enough on itself but that not what drew Tim's attention. There was more horrifying that Damian's secret being exposed to the whole world.

Ra's had Damian.

The paper showed a picture of Ra's Al Ghul, a "protective" arm slung around his grandson's shoulders. He had presented himself to the Hong Kong's authorities as a concerned grandfather looking out for his omega grandson who was traveling alone with an unmated alpha. Once he had been confirmed that Damian was indeed an Omega he had been put into Ra's care. Cassandra Cain, the unmated alpha that had been traveling with him had been put under arrest to be investigated as well as the whole Wayne family for not only lying about one's cast but also for failing to provide the "protection and education that all Omegas shall receive". Thus, until the investigation was completed, Damian Wayne would remain under his grandfather's care, who had been granted temporary guardianship. 

Ra's told himself appalled by Bruce Wayne's actions and swore he would bring proper care for the Omega. That would cause such a scandal. Bruce and Tim would have to step down from their position in WE. Their funds would probably be blocked during the investigation. But they would need a really good lawyer to win the trial. They were sure they would be one. Ra's had played it smart by making it public. They couldn't just go and retrieve Damian now. Tim felt stupid for not seeing it coming. Of course, Ra's would get involved. This was a golden opportunity.

Tim's hands were clenching hard on the papers and he was brought back to reality by the news-seller yelling at him about reading the papers without buying it. He tossed him a bill and got back into his car. There was no need to go to work today. He needed to get back at the manor before the police came looking for them. It was surprising they hadn't woke then up in the middle of the night. But relations weren't that good between the US and China. Small mercies.

***

Alfred was already opening the door as Tim's car pulled up in front of the Manor. His face was somber. He already knew, had probably heard the news when he was preparing breakfast for the rest of the family. So the others probably knew too.

Alfred led him to the living room. Bruce was standing in a corner of the room while Jason and Dick were sitting on a sofa, close but not quite touching. Dick had come back as soon as he had heard that Damian had disappeared and Jason was soon to follow. As an omega himself, he understood why Damian had kept secret about his cast. People coming from the dead weren't that weird nowadays with all the metas and aliens. Jason could have easily got his identity back. But he would be trapped again, never really free because of his caste. He was far better off with being officially dead.

None of them could hide their worry, not even Bruce. It was his younger son that was concerned after all. And this wasn't anything mission's related. He didn't want to admit it out loud before his sons, but he had doubts. He wasn't sure he could win this. Not his usual way of thinking, but he had no emergency plans for one of his sons being an Omega. He had never thought Damian was one. He was surprised Talia had lied about it. At first, it made sense. She wanted Damian to inherit her father's empire. So she couldn't have him be an Omega. But she could have easily sold him out once he had turned his back on her to stay with her father. She had disowned him. Yet, she remained silent about his true caste. No matter all she had done, she had protected their son from that. So despite all that had happened between them, he felt afraid of what Ra's might do to her for lying to him all of this time. She was not a good person but she didn't deserve to pay for protecting Damian. So Bruce would not only have to make sure that he got Damian back quickly but that Talia was safe as well.

Bruce remained silent for a few minutes after Tim had joined them. He didn't know where to start. He had no plans forming up in his mind. He was unable to come up with anything. He loved Gotham and his country but he knew its flaws. He knew how Omegas were regarded. There had been some progress in people's minds but laws were slow to follow. Omegas still needed a guardian even after hitting 18. They were always under someone's authority, may it be a parent or a mate. And regarding the law, Bruce had failed as a parent.

"So what's the plan, B?" Jason put him out of his thoughts.

Bruce had now the attention of his sons. They all had tried to think of something and were as lost as he was. They looked at him with various ranges of despair, waiting for him to spell out a plan of action. Anything to reassure. To show them that Damian wasn't lost to them, that they would get him back.

"I..." Bruce started, not knowing what to say to them.

At the same moment, Alfred came into the room followed by Jim Gordon.

"Commissioner," Bruce greeted him, straightening suddenly to face the newcomer.

"Misters Wayne," he replied, trying to smile at them but they could see he was tense.

"What bring you here, commissioner ?" Tim asked.

"Damian Wayne," Jim said simply to no one's surprise. "The state has chosen to press charges against your family for housing an undeclared Omega as well as registering said Omega as a Beta in front of the law."

It was clear in his tone that the man didn't like that more than they did. But he did not have any other choice than to enforce the law no matter how bad it was.

"We understand Commissioner, but I would like to point out that as Damian's father that the sole responsibility of..."

"There is no need for that, Bruce. Lying to a representative of the law would bring no good in our current situation."

"Tim..." Bruce tried to interject, no understanding what Tim was getting at.

"Truth is, Commissioner, that Damian is my mate, but as he was ten when he arrived in the family I couldn't bring myself to declare it. I ask them to say nothing until Damian was of age as I did not wish to be tied in this way to a child.”

They all froze at Tim's declaration. They had not expected him to declare Damian as his own. But they all could guess why he had done so. They had all come to the same conclusion: they would lose a trial. Bruce may be Damian's father but Ra's was also family. And he had law and public opinion on his side. Well, maybe that last wasn't entirely true. Omega's right defenders would side with Bruce, but the judges of Gotham were old and conservative folks. That wouldn't win them a trial. The only thing stronger than Ra's claim of guardianship over Damian was a mate claim. Tim claiming Damian as his Omega was the only way of getting him away from Ra's.  So, while they were all trying to think of some kind of plan, Tim had resigned himself to that. He knew it was for the best but he still felt bad for putting Damian in a situation he wouldn't like.

They all still had to follow the commissioner back to the station to give their statements. Well, with the exceptions of Jason, of course. He was still official dead so no charges were pressed against him. He watched them all walk out of the manor, including Alfred. He went straight to the job as the door closed. They all had some knowledge of laws but it wouldn't hurt to get back to the laws about Omega and pack's rights. And it made him felt at least a bit useful and kept him from going crazy while waiting for the others.

***

Damian stared blankly at the wall while Ra's servants busied themself preparing him. He had had no other choice but to follow his grandfather. He had waited until they were out of Hong Kong's authorities' view to try to escape. He was still pretty weak, his heat not quite over even if the worst had passed. But despite his weakened strength, he had put up quite the fight. That's it until his grandfather had pressed his teeth to his neck. Damian had gone slack, trying to put some distance between himself and the teeth.

"Keep fighting and I'll bite. You little Omega slut will be bond to me and you will never be able to be with anyone else." His grandfather had said. Damian had tried to relax his whole body and put his head down to show submission. The idea of being claimed his own grandfather completely disgusted him. He knew that the old man was capable of it. "If you try to escape again, I'll sell you off to the more offering." He had added while finally letting go of Damian.

After that Damian had made no other attempt at escaping. He wouldn't take the risk of being mated. Once you were bitten, your body would accept the person claiming. He had heard many stories of Omega getting claimed and then being stuck with their aggressor. But being claimed didn't force love so the bond often remained one-sided. Sometimes Alpha remained unclaimed but took several Omegas.

Truth is the bond could be broken with time and your body could accept somebody else. But few Omegas managed to get away long enough for that. And even when they managed it, if the claim had been made official then you were fucked. Officially, you would still belong to your first mate and the state would recognize no others (except if said mate was dead since an Omega 'needed' an Alpha to take care of them). Few Alphas would accept an Omega that had been bonded anyway. They would be regarded as outcasts. Most would end up selling their body on the street, the only place that accepted them.

That was not a fate Damian wished to share. So the boy laid still while the servants cleaned him. He didn't even move when they started waxing him. He showed absolutely no reaction when they pampered him to make him look like a "good omega". It went every instinct he had. But he couldn't risk angering his grandfather. He had no doubt that the man was preparing something for him but whatever it was, he was safe for now. Well, as safe as he could be in this place. The only thing he could do now was hope that his father would come to rescue him. He hated having to rely entirely on someone else, to have no control whatsoever over the situation. That's what he had tried to avoid most of his life.

But he could still have some sort of control. Once they had been done taking care of his skin, they had dressed him in traditional, covering most of his body. Unmated Omega shouldn't show too much to preserve their virtue. One of the servants had forgotten a needle, that Damian had discreetly hidden in his sleeve. It wasn't a knife but he could do the job in Damian's hand. Not to attack them and escape. No, there were far too many people and his clothing didn't allow much movement. But if it came to that, he'd rather take his own life than live as someone's bitch. Death would be better than be forever the slave of some Alpha Ra's had chosen for him.

***

Tim was released from the station three hours after they had been brought in. He hadn't seen the others since then. They had all been escorted to different interrogation rooms and the man that had questioned him had refused to tell him anything. The police officer had made a few snide comments about his failure as an Alpha for not mating his Omega. He had not seemed to understand what was the problem of Damian being 10 when they had met. Which was frankly disgusting. He would need to watch that one, Tim imagined he could be involved in some unsavory dealings.

He was escorted to his apartment by another officer, a Beta this time, that didn't utter a word to Tim until they reach their destination and informed him that he was not to leave the state while the investigation was still ongoing and to remain available for further questioning. Tim nodded and left the car under the watchful eyes of the officer. He walked calmly to the front door. Once it had shut behind him, he went straight to his own "cave". He turned on his computer and sent a message to the others, including Steph and Barbara. Less than a minute later, he received a response from the later. She added him to their discussion channel. They were already here. He must have been the last to be released.

"How did your interrogation went, Tim?" Bruce asked

"As well as you can imagine." Tim grimaced. I hadn't gone bad per se. He had said nothing that could compromise them much than they already were. He basically only had to bear their sexist remarks. "They wouldn't tell me what happened to Cass though."

"Cass is well. They're sending her back to America as we speak. Gotham won the right to have the trial even though she was arrested in Hong Kong. She will be authorized to remain with me at the Manor since she doesn't have an apartment of her own ('officially', it went unsaid)," Bruce informed him.

"What about Damian? They didn't tell me more either."

Bruce sighed, "Jim promised he would try to make sure he would be present to the trial. But we don't know if Ra's will aggry to it."

"He will" Tim was sure of it. "He wants his victory to be public. He's enjoying making us watch while we can do nothing."

"We are doing something" Jason spoke up for the first time since Tim had joined in.

"Are we? I don't remember coming up with a plan this morning. And since we all admitted that we lied, the trial will happen shortly from here. We won't have much time to prepare."

"We don't need to prepare. The only thing that will win us the fight is you. You claiming to be Damian's Alpha this morning is the best shot we have."

Tim was about to reply but Jason interrupted him.

"I know. I don't like it either. I'm an Omega, remember? I would never wish to be in Damian's position. But as much as I hate it, it's better than having Damian trap with Ra's." Jason paused. "You can't be much worse than the Alphas Ra's had in mind, Replacement." He joked half-heartedly. Tim gave him a small smile. But it didn't reach his eyes. He was feeling sick. He had still hoped that one of them would come with a better idea but they all remained silent after Jason had said his part.

As there was nothing else they could while they waited, Tim bid them goodbye and turned off his computer. He stared for a while after he had turned black. He was lost with what to do. He couldn't go to WE to distract himself with loads of paperwork and it was far too soon to go patrol. Which they wouldn't probably do for the next days anyway. They couldn't risk getting injured when they were supposed to stay at home and wait for the trial. Jason and Steph would have to do without him until it was over.

Tim was pulled out of his thoughts by his phone. He tried to ignore it but he kept ringing for five minutes straight. As it didn't seem it would stop soon, Tim resolved to take the call. He grimaced when he saw the name but still pressed the button.

"Hey Tam," he greeted her weakly.

"I heard about Damian," she went straight to the point.

"Yeah, it's..." complicated, fucked up? She had met Ra's so she already knew how bad the situation was.

"How are you feeling, Tim?" She asked, unexpectedly. He had thought she would talk about WE. It was her job after all.

"I might throw up soon," he answered honestly. "He's..."

"I'm sure he will be alright, Tim. You've beaten Ra's in the past. You'll do it once more" she tried to encourage him. And he could tell that she really believe it. It was sweet but she was wrong. He wouldn't be able to save Damian this time. But he didn't tell her that. He needed someone optimistic right now. It was refreshing when he felt like his entire world was falling apart. It's not just Damian that would be trapped if he had to claim him. He was the one who had said it, but it meant that he too would need to abandon the idea of finding someone. He wouldn't force a one-sided bond on Damian to go find someone else for himself as other Alphas did. They would be both condemned to never truly mate with anyone. So he kept talking to Tam and let her hopeful words wash over him.

***

Flashes assaulted him as soon as he got at out of the car. Journalists were yelling to try to get his attention, their words unintelligible. He hadn't spoken to anyone in over a week. The servants were not authorized to talk to him and Ra's had not come to see him since the first day. So he had spent the last days locked in a golden cage. He was treated like a prince. He had expected to be locked away in a cell. But the servants and the place they were staying at didn't look like it belonged to the league. Ra's probably wanted people to testify of how good he was treating the Omega and why he should keep taking care of him. Being suddenly crowded by so many people made him feel dizzy. But he took it upon himself to show no sign of distress. He wouldn't give his grandfather the pleasure of seeing him weak.

Ra's escorted him to the courtroom, a hand in his back as if to make sure he wouldn't try to run away. Which would be incredibly stupid in front of the journalists and police officers that had their eyes on him. Stupid and completely useless. Even if he managed to escape, he would be hunted down. He could hide, he didn't doubt that. They would maybe even forget about him in a decade or so. Damian could go live anywhere under a new identity. But Damian wasn't ready to give up his actual life. He was past wanting everyone to know he was the true son of Bruce Wayne. He had actually come to care about the family. Not just his father and Dick. But all of them. He couldn't imagine having to live without them all. Having to live all alone. That's why he had tried to antagonize them. Getting attached was a weakness. And here he was, unable to live them all behind. Ready to be treated like all known Omegas were treated, just to stay with them. He hated himself for that.

Once they entered the room, his eyes fell on his family. Bruce was seated beside Tim and Alfred while Dick was in the next row with Barbara and Cassandra. Steph was not officially part of the family and Jason was still supposed to be dead so they couldn't be there since the trial would happen in closed doors. Damian was thankful that reporters were not allowed inside. It was enough that his secret was now exposed to the whole world, no need to have them present while his fate was decided. They all turned to him when he entered and he could see that his father wanted to cross the room to meet him but they couldn't do that. He tried to smile at them, try to reassure them but he was pretty sure he failed to be convincing. But they were no better. The situation was hard for everyone. Damian wanted nothing more than for it to be over but dreaded what would come to the end at the same time.

Ra's led him to the opposite side of the room where Ra's lawyer was waiting for them. They started speaking to each other in low voices and Damian didn't bother trying to understand what they were saying. The trial would soon begin so whatever they had prepared didn't matter. He just had to hope that his father had thought of something.

Ten minutes after Damian had sitten down, the judge came in and the room fell silent. Ra's side started as they were the accusation. They repeated what they had already told the press about Damian being an Omega and being hidden by his father for years. They showed that Bruce Wayne had declared him to be a Beta and deliberately lied to the state. Ra's brought up evidence of the proper care he could provide for his grandson. None of what was said was a surprise. The only thing that was uncertain was the defense his father would come up with. But instead of his father standing up to talk, it was Tim that came forward. Damian's eyes opened wide. No. That couldn't be it. That wasn't happening. He tensed as soon as the other man started speaking. He could barely hear anything with all the blood rushing to his ear. He fell as if he could not breathe anymore. He knew very well what Tim must be saying. There was only one reason for him to speak up instead of his father. Had Damian been a bit less terrified of Tim claiming him, he could have enjoyed the look on Ra's face. The man had not seen that coming in the slightest. How could he have? Damian knew about Tim but still hadn't expected it to be brought up. He guessed he should have. They didn't have much to go with to win in court.

Damian finally calmed down when he noticed that Tim had stopped speaking. In fact, nobody else was saying anything. Tim was still standing but his eyes were fixed to the door, a look surprise on his face. Damian was as shocked when he turned to see what was happening. He couldn't believe she was here. He had thought she would remain in hiding in fear of Ra's wrath. But no, Talia Al Ghul was standing in the room, her head held high and her eyes unwavering. Damian felt like crying. He had barely spoken to his mother in years and yet she had come for him.

"Sorry to interrupt you like that but I was informed very belatedly of what was happening. Which I find shocking as Damian's mother." Talia spoke strongly, even daring to look right at her father. "I raised Damian in my father's home until he was 10. He presented under my care. I have the document that proved that I was the one to declare his caste. He was my choice and not his father's to do so. In fact, I never informed him of the truth."

"When you are saying your father's home, who are you talking about exactly, Mrs ?"

"I am Talia Al Ghul, daughter of Ra's Al Ghul."

She was convincing. How could she not be when she only said the truth. She had been living at her father's home. He just happened to no really be alive when he had presented. Not that Ra's could tell that to the judge. Plus, her presenting a document that showed she had been the one to declare Damian as a Beta brought up the question of the origin of the document Ra's had shown to the judge to incriminate Bruce. He didn't put him in a good position to have forced said document and lied in court. If the man hadn't intended to track Talia down before, he sure would now. Damian couldn't fathom why she would do such a thing.

The judge asked his mother a few more questions before the jury left the room to deliberate. He saw his father briefly take his mother's hand at the corner of his eyes, showing her his gratitude for going against Ra's to protect Damian. Ra's was throwing them murderous looks, failing to remain cool and hide his reactions.

After only 20 minutes of debate, the jury came back "After deliberation we came to the conclusion that Damian Wayne could not remain in his grandfather's care as we can not be sure of his honesty." Damian felt relieved at that but it was short-lived. "But we cannot either put him back in his mother or father's care as they both failed to bring him the education an Omega needs. We all agreed that he would be better with Timothy Drake, his mate. Once they have claimed each other, Damian Wayne his free to go home." Damian's eyes fell to the floor. He couldn't hold back his tears anymore but didn't want anyone to see. He tensed when hands grabbed him.

"It's me, Damian. Let's go take a little walk while arrangements are made," his mother muttered in his ears.

He let him guide him out of the room. They didn't go far and guards remain not too far from them to make sure they wouldn't flee. They sat down on a bench, his mother's hand still of him. For long they didn't say anything, his mother waiting for him to calm down.

"That's what I had been trying to avoid since you presented. I knew how my father would react. I know how he regards the like of us." She sighed.

"What? What do you mean, the "like of us"?" Damian was looking at his mother as if he was seeing for the first time. Could she be?

"Draw up your own conclusions Damian. I won't confirm anything." His mother had been really great at hiding that part of her. He guessed nobody had ever known (or lived after knowing) that she was an Omega.

"What will do now ?" He asked curious and worried.

"That not for you to worry, you will have enough of your own."

"Why ?" He finally asked what he truly wanted to know.

She looked straight at him "I resented you for choosing your father over me for a long time. But I spent my life fearing what Ra's would do to me if he knew. I have imagined so many things. And imagining you going through that. No, I couldn't do nothing. I guess we both failed to not get attached. But now if you don't mind, I would like to get a headstart on Ra's." He nodded while she got up.

"Mother," he called when she was leaving, "Thank you." And with that, she was gone.

He stayed alone on the bench until Dick came up to him with Barbara. His brother gave him a big hug and for once Damian didn't try to pull him off him but loosened in his arms. His mother's comforting hand had been nice but he had needed more. Dick didn't ask how he felt. He did not need to do that. He knew Damian and he wasn't stupid. He just tried to show Damian that he would be here for him. They were interrupted by the guards. It was time.

***

The ceremony was very formal. They mostly just signed paper. Then comes the bite. It feels weird touching Tim. He had avoided physical contact with Tim as much as possible over the year. The few times they had touched had not been intimate in any way, mostly to tend to injuries. And it's the first time they touch with Damian not wearing sent blockers. He doesn't count the time that brought them here considering he was completely out of it and doesn't remember it clearly. Damian had started trembling when Tim had lowered his head to bring his teeth to his neck and the man had stopped moving. Tim couldn't bring himself to do it when Damian was this distressed. So Damian had brought himself to do it first so it would be over quickly. He had put his hands on Tim's shoulders and the man had tipped his head to bare his neck. Damian didn't let himself time to think and just sank his teeth into the flesh. It barely lasted a second but Damian felt overwhelmed. His body was starting to respond to the Alpha in front of him. He bared his own neck, unable to control it. Tim's bite was just as brief as his own. And yet this act had sealed their union. They had claimed each other. Damian closed his eyes and let the Alpha pheromones washed over him to keep him calm. He didn't want to have a panic attack in front of everyone. Plus he better get used to it. It was his life now.

[thatmultifandomhoe]

Strawberry Cream and BBQ: Move in Day

Word Count: 4,288k

Pairing: Hybrid Hoseok and Human Reader

A Strawberry Cream and BBQ Drabble

Overview: It’s been five years since you and Hoseok were reunited. And things are not like how they used to be.

Genre: Hybrid AU - Fluff - A teeny tiny bit a smut - Rating is somewhere in the middle of PG-13 and NC-17.

Warning: Fluff. Absolute, tooth rotting fluff. Also some minor smut, light fingering, implied Daddy kink,  Hoseok bites the reader cause he’s a horndog.

Master List

Click here to read Strawberry Cream and BBQ from the 1st part!

A/N: Surprise! I couldn’t help myself, and so here’s a glimpse into the life that Hoseok and Strawberry have built together!

©thatmultifandomhoe Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

You hummed while stacking another box in the living room, giving the room one last scan before turning to the two babies that sat in the play pen. “You know,” you playfully spoke to them. “I think that’s everything. Now Daddy gets to carry them all.”

They smiled as they spoke gibberish up at you. At only a year old, it was the best they could do for the moment. While they played with their toys, you slowly turned around. Your son and daughter weren’t going to have any memories of this apartment, but as you walked through the small rooms one last time, you softly smiled.

It had been five years since Sue moved to Hong Kong. According to Hoseok, she was doing well and worked for a high-end fashion company. You tried a few times to keep in contact with her, but each phone call felt forced and uncomfortable and as time went by, the conversations dwindled down to none. Hoseok found it to be a little easier, he’d tell her about the Dance Studio and your children and a few other miscellaneous things, even going so far as to send her pictures of the kids around Christmas time. But it was nothing like it used to be, and you had long ago made peace with that.

In those five years, you graduated from college with your degree and to your utmost surprise, your boss had handed over the keys and became the owner of the bookstore. It had been completely out of the blue, but apparently, he wanted a change of plans – and scenery since he packed up his belongings and moved to the west coast.

Hoseok also had a change in career plans too. Unknown to everyone except for the owner of the of the Dance Studio, there had been a talent scout in the audience that night at the May show. He showed up a few days afterwards when Hoseok was working and offered him a spot in their dance company. He’d be on a team with other highly elite dancers and would be touring the world with them.

The offer was a dream that every dancer wished they could get, and he got it. The scout gave him a week to think it over and inform him of his decision. You had been ecstatic for him, literally jumping around the apartment in excitement, that it took you a moment to realize that he wasn’t jumping around. Instead, he had looked glum.

“Strawberry,” Hoseok gently explained. “The company is in South Korea. Including all the practice days and the actual tour, I’ll be gone for maybe a year, if not longer.”

The reality of how long he’d be gone hadn’t kicked in until then, but as you sat back down on the couch, you thought of how great of an opportunity this was for him. This was a once in a lifetime chance, and you knew how much he loved to dance. Like the night of the show, he was meant to be on stage performing.

“I want you to do this Hobi,” you said, slipping your hand in his. “You’re a dancer, you were meant to do this. We’ll figure this out. I’ll take time to fly out before the tour, and then we’ll be able to decide what’s best during it. But if you give up on this chance, you’re going to regret it baby, even if you won’t admit it now, I know you will. Maybe not today, but you will one day.”

He leaned his forehead against yours, slipping his arms around you as he pulled you down on the couch. “I just got you back,” he whimpered.

“I know, but it doesn’t start right away, does it?”

Hoseok shook his head. “If I take it, I have to leave at the end of June.”

You mulled over the numbers, but ultimately, nodded. You were going to miss him greatly, but this was worth it all and then some. “Take it,” you repeated. “This is everything you’ve ever dreamed of Hoseok.”

He stared into your eyes, a smile slowly appearing. Instead of responding, he hugged you tight and bent his head to nuzzle your neck, sweetly kissing your mate mark as his tail wagged against the cushion.

Hoseok had been right. He was gone for a little over a year. But between all the phone calls, face time videos, and those few visits you were able to make, that year went by faster than you imagined. Not only had he gotten to perform like he’s always dream of, but the pay he received was more than what either of you thought.

His bank account wasn’t going to be low for a very, very long time.

“Is Mommy playing hide and seek?”

Hearing his voice, you smiled as you left the old bedroom, your heart warming up when you saw him bouncing your son Mick on his hip. The baby was giggling as his father tickled his sides at the same time, his little baby tail wagging rapidly.

“Oh, there’s Mommy!” Hoseok gleefully announced, pointing at you as you joined Hoseok’s free side.

“Is Daddy being silly?” You asked, kissing the top of Mick’s head and then Hoseok’s cheek.

Wrapping his arm around you briefly, Hoseok smiled at you before stealing another kiss from you. “Me? Silly? No idea what you’re talking about.”

Being mindful of Mick, you lightly pushed Hoseok’s chest, his laughter filling the room. As he played with you son, you went to the play pen where your daughter Jamie was sitting, her arms instantly raising for you to pick her up.

“I think Daddy’s telling a big lie,” you teased as Jamie wrapped her arms around her neck, coming to lay her head on your shoulder. “He’s always silly. A very silly man.”

The twins had been another surprise. A big one, but a very pleasant and worth every single moment surprise. The two of you were always careful and you took the pill every day, all except for one month. It had been a careless mistake, but you had forgotten about the little pills. You had been running the bookstore on your own for three years at this point and you were busy between scheduling author events, creating new displays for the store and window displays, participating in town events, and book orders, that it slipped your mind to take the small little pills. Besides, you and Hoseok weren’t having sex every single day.

But then, his heat came earlier than it should have and during those three days where you two lived in that bedroom, neither one of you remembered that you hadn’t been taking your birth control, and Hoseok didn’t use condoms since you were on the pill. Which meant, your body was extremely fertile and ready to make a baby.

Hoseok found out that you were pregnant the morning after his heat ended.

That morning had started like any other day. It was Saturday and you both had the day off from work – he still continued to work at the Dance Studio despite the sudden fame he acquired with the dance company – and after his heat, the two of you were taking full advantage of sleeping in.

You had woken up flat on your back and confused because Hoseok was snug in between your legs but with his cheek pressed against your stomach. It took you a few seconds to understand what you were seeing. The position was a familiar one – one he had been in multiple times in the last three days – but not with him crying as he smiled.

“Hoseok,” you groggily asked, propping yourself onto your elbows. “What’s wrong babe?”

He lightly laughed as he shifted so he was hovering over you, sweetly kissing your lips despite your whine about having morning breath. “Everything is perfect Strawberry. I know you just woke up, but did you forget to tell me something? Something that may involve your birth control?”

You frowned. He knew that your mind didn’t work first thing in the morning, especially before your coffee. But if he was asking you questions before coffee, then it had to be important. “Um...they’re in the medicine cabinet.” You murmured, rubbing your eyes when you paused. “I…I think I missed a few days…but your heat…”

The realization of what this meant made you gasp, suddenly feeling wide awake. “Oh God, your heat. Am I…are you even able to tell?”

He slowly nodded, his smile taking over his face. “Your scent’s different,” he softly explained. Seeing and feeling your emotions rocking back and forth, he kissed the tip of your nose and then your cheek to help you relax. “You still smell like strawberry cream, but there’s something else. It reminds me of those flowers that Jimin’s mate likes. You know the small white ones.”

“Baby’s breath?” You supplied.

“Yeah, baby’s breath. I know that’s such a strange smell to associate with being pregnant but…you’ve never smelt like that before. And knowing that you weren’t on the birth control during my heat, it makes sense.”

Leaning back, the smile on his face disappeared when he saw that you were still nervous. “Baby, I know we haven’t talked about when we’re going to start a family, but if you’re not ready yet, we don’t have to do this. It’s still extremely early.”

Taking a shaky breath, you lowered yourself back down on the bed and covered your face with your hands. This wasn’t the reaction Hoseok was expecting, it was the opposite really. Even though he wanted you to want this as well, his ears lowered as his tail stopped wagging.

Your mind was racing. How could you have been so foolish? Those pills were necessary with Hoseok being a hybrid. Now you were pregnant.

You were pregnant.

For some reason, whether it was Hoseok smoothing back your hair and caressing your sides, or the thought of being pregnant, your mind stopped racing, allowing you to think. The idea of starting a family had been talked about, especially after you graduated from college. Waiting until after you were out of school was something the two of you had immediately agreed upon.

It had been five years since you learned that he was your mate. Five years of loving, and learning about each other on a deeper level.

Removing your hands, you gazed up at Hoseok. The spot between his eyebrows was crinkled with worry as he waited for you to say something.

“I’m really pregnant?” You whispered again. It was almost like you couldn’t believe that it was true.

Hoseok swallowed the lump in his throat. Just hearing you say the word ‘pregnant,’ had his heart racing in an unexpected way. “Yes baby,” he answered. “You’re pregnant. If you want, I can pick up some pregnancy tests at the store. Buy a bunch so that you can know for sure.”

You could easily picture him buying one of every pregnancy test in the store, and it made you giggle.

“I’m pregnant,” you whispered, this time saying it for yourself and not asking him.

He frowned, not understanding why you were repeating yourself. Even as he honed in on your emotions, they were still scattered all around that he couldn’t figure out which you were feeling. He was focusing so hard on your emotions, that he almost missed the smile on your face and glassy eyes.

“Baby?” Hoseok hesitantly asked, brushing back a stray hair.

You simply shook your head, giggling as you grinned up at him, the tears sliding down your face. “We’re pregnant,” you said, looping your arms around his neck.

He gasped, hearing the way you happily said it this time. Tears welled up in his own eyes and he wrapped his arms around you as he settled back on the bed and pulled you against him. He kissed you everywhere he could, the bedroom filling with the sounds of your combined laughter and tears.

“Are these the last of the boxes?” Hoseok asked.

Blinking, you frowned in confusion, still lost in your memories. “What?”

Hoseok raised an eyebrow at you but chuckled. He had a feeling that you were taking a trip down memory lane, so he didn’t repeat himself. “I’m going to bring these down to the truck, then we can pack the pups up and bring them to the car. Then we can go home. That sound good?”

“Yeah,” you answered, smiling. There were only two boxes left and while he did that, you could pack up the few toys that you left out for Jamie and Mick to play with.

“You know,” Hoseok murmured, stepping in front of you as he held his son. “We’ll make new memories in the new house too.”

Feeling caught in the act, you leaned forward so you head was against his chest. He maneuvered one arm around you and rested his chin on the top of your head, momentarily leaning back so he could kiss your temple before getting comfortable again.

“I know. There’s just so many that we’ve made here. It’s going to be different in the new house.”

Jamie moved in your arms, forcing the two of you to lean back to see that she wanted to get down. Once you set her down, Mick immediately wanted to be with his sister.

With his hands now free, Hoseok pulled you in for a hug, gently swaying you back and forth. “And we’ll always have them,” Hoseok reassured. “They’re our memories for a reason. And we’re going to make more than enough to last a lifetime in our new house. Where we’ll have plenty of room for the kids to play and grow up in.”

You hummed in agreement, knowing that he was right. You were being sentimental but you couldn’t help it. “Alright.” You relented. “Go bring these boxes down and I’ll pick up the toys. By the time you’re back we’ll be ready to go.”

He smiled and with one last kiss to the lips, grabbed the last two boxes and made his way down the stairs with them. With a sigh, you joined your children on your knees, reaching over to give a loving scratch to their German Shepard ears. They released pleased giggles which made you laugh, continuing for a little longer before stopping.

“Don’t worry, Mommy will make sure to do it again when we get home,” you promised.

In no time at all, their toys and the play pen were all packed up and you were just waiting on Hoseok once more. He brought their toys and the pen down to the car along with their diaper bags, that way you each only had a baby to carry.

This time carrying Mick, Hoseok carried Jamie down to the car, the sun shinning brightly as you locked them into their car seats.

“Alright,” Hoseok said, coming around to the driver’s side window. He leaned in so his head was inside for the moment and sent a smile to the kids in the back seat before focusing on you again. “I’ll park in the driveway, that way it’ll make it easier to carry everything in.”

“You got it babe.” Leaning up, you smiled in the kiss, and watched to make sure that Hoseok pulled out of the driveway with the Uhall first, following right behind him.

The drive from the apartment to your new house was only ten minutes away, but when you pulled up to the house, it felt like you were in the country. The neighborhood wasn’t packed like some of the houses you looked at were, but there could have been another house comfortably built in between your house and your neighbors because there was enough space.

The white picket fence came up to your hip – personally the perfect height in your opinion – and there was a wraparound porch on the two-story tan house. You weren’t sure what the square feet was for it, but there were five bedrooms, an attached bathroom with the master bedroom, then a full bath on the second floor and a half bath on the first floor. It was huge compared to the apartment and what you were used to, but the second you and Hoseok walked in to see it, you knew this was the home that you wanted to raise your children in and live with Hoseok.

So Hoseok made an offer, and thankfully, the owners accepted.

Parking in the street, you got out and started unbuckling Jamie. She and Mick were already dozing off in their car seats.

“If you can set the play pen up in their room, they can nap while we start unloading,” You suggested when Hoseok started unbuckling a sleepy Mick.

“Yeah,” he agreed, carefully bringing Mick on his hip. “These two are so easy to get to nap.”

“You say that now, but just wait. When they turn two, we’re in trouble.”

Hoseok chuckled, slinging the diaper bag over his shoulder, waiting for you to join him to walk up the driveway with you. He had already unlocked the front door and so he just walked in. There were boxes and furniture scattered about from previous trips he made, having recruited the guys to help when it came to moving the larger pieces of furniture.

Once the play pen was up and laid a blanket underneath the kids to sleep on top of, the two of you made quick work to bring in as many boxes as possible before they woke up. There were a couple hours guaranteed as they napped, but neither of you wanted to risk them both waking up early and still have to unload the truck.

Luck had been on your side, because you finished bringing in all the boxes and any remaining pieces of furniture by dinner time, and Mick and Jamie were still sleeping. Hoseok had even called Namjoon and together, they returned the Uhall back to the store it was being rented from.

When Hoseok came back, he found you in the kitchen unpacking a box of plates and stacking them in one of the cabinets, a baby monitor sitting on the counter with a red light on. There weren’t many moments when it was just the two of you alone anymore, so he came up from behind and hugged you, resting his palms on your hips and nipping at your mate mark.

Your body automatically jerked as you giggled, leaning your head to the side and back to look up at him. For five years he’s nipped at your mate mark, and not once has it gotten old. “What are you doing?” You teased, allowing your body to relax in his embrace and forget about unpacking.

His lips curled into a smile against your skin, his hands sliding across your waist and stomach, fingers grazing the bottom of your bra. “New house,” he murmured, his kisses slowing in pace as he trailed them up your neck and pressed his body against yours.

A soft moan slipped through your mouth, your responsibilities disappearing as your own desire started to match his.

“New memories,” he added, sliding his hands underneath the old t-shirt you wore. His touch lighting a fire on your skin. “I can already think of a few memories we can make in our room tonight.”

“Mhm,” you hummed, tilting your head to the side as he nibbled at your jaw.

The morning that you found out you were pregnant with Mick and Jamie, you and Hoseok had spent the day in bed to not only enjoy the day off along with the good news, but to discuss how many kids the two of you wanted. You remembered that day when he explained that it was possible have multiple kids in one pregnancy, which had been the case with the twins.

While both of you wouldn’t mind a large family, in the end, it was decided that it would be best to play it by how old the kids were. Hoseok had been adamant in making sure that he didn’t want you to overdo anything, especially by having his kids.

Within the Hybrid community, there were still owners who treated Hybrids poorly, and then there was the illegal Underground. It was the black market of Hybrids, and just like there were people who ran puppy mills for pets, there were people who ran Hybrid Mills, forcing the women to have babies and purebred hybrids for the highest bidder like they were some machine.

You had only heard rumors of it, but Hoseok once knew a girl who was a result of an illegal Hybrid Mill. They had both been too young to understand what it was, but now that he was older and he remembered what she had described, he knew what she had lived in.

Jamie and Mick were already a year old, and while you knew that people normally waited until their kids were at least a few years older…the idea of having another baby warmed you from the inside out. Being a mother came automatically for your, and while there were points you had complained during your pregnancy, it was all worth it when you got to hold your little babies.

“Hoseok,” you sighed, feeling his fingers undo the button of your shorts and zipper before sliding them under your panties and over your core, earning a moan from you. He softly growled when he felt how wet you already were for him. At the rate he was going, there were going to be some memories made right here in the kitchen.

Lifting his head, Hoseok said a soft yes before focusing on the other side of your neck. Since there were no marks on this side, he couldn’t help himself from lightly biting the skin.

Wetting your lips, your eyes briefly closed, feeling Hoseok’s chest rumble before hearing it as he smelled your lust and desire. “What if…we have another baby?”

Hoseok had been getting ready to slip his fingers in-between your folds when you suddenly asked, his heart beginning to race. Not in fear of having another baby while Mick and Jamie were only one, but in happiness. He didn’t want to push you, but he had always wanted to have his kids close together in age.

He leaned back just enough remove his hands out of your pants to turn you in in his arms, his eyes revealing his happiness. “Are you sure?” He asked, wanting to make sure that you were certain.

You grinned and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him back for another kiss. “Of course, I’m sure.”

Thumping was heard in the room and for a split second, you thought it was one of the kids coming down the stairs, but then you remembered that they couldn’t walk on their own yet. With a glance down, you laughed when you saw that it was Hoseok’s tail hitting his thigh.

“I love you,” Hoseok said, promptly kissing you in-between everything he had to say. “I love our family, our kids. And I love making babies with you.”

You giggled again. As the two of you kissed, each one was more passionate than the last, leaving you wanting more. Even though you’ve been together for five years, and had a son and daughter, each kiss and touch were always like the very first.

His hands were palming your ass over your shorts, the counter digging into your back as Hoseok firmly grinded his hips into your, eliciting a moan to rip through your lips. You were lost in his touch, your hands roaming over his back…when a cry came over the baby monitor.

The two of you froze as if you were caught in the act by your parents and about to get punished because you snuck your boyfriend. But then you remembered. Hoseok was your mate, this was yours and his house, and the two of you were the parents here.

It took a second, but you were able to decipher who the crying was coming from. “It’s Mick,” you said, removing your hands from Hoseok while he straightened up. “I’ll go take care of him and Jamie while you go shower.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, but you pointed at the front of his pants. “I don’t think you need to scare the children so young.”

Hoseok glanced down, but casually shrugged as he grinned at you. “Fine. But don’t think this over.” Even though he knew you wanted to go tend to the babies, he wrapped his arms around your waist and suddenly pulled you against him. He heard the way your breath hitched, feeling his erection against your core again. Your cheeks were flushed, riling him up all over again. Leaning down, he kissed your ear lobe, gently tugging on it with his teeth before whispering in your ear.

“Don’t think Daddy will forget about this baby.”

Your heart skipped a beat – there were many things that you and Hoseok discovered after his first heat – but when he leaned back to look at you, you couldn’t help but lovingly smile up at him despite the sexual tension filling the room. His eyes softened when he noticed the way you were looking at him, and so when he kissed you again, it wasn’t rough or fueled with lust, but with absolute pure love.

That was the thing. These past five years were filled with so many life changes, that you were excited for what the future had in-store. Because no matter what, as long as Hoseok and your babies were by your side, there was always going to be love.