#It explains a lot about how it functions

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

random hcs ask for abel this time:

worst trait.

best trait.

how aware of its nature is it?

does it feel any type of way about being a demon?

it is morally bankrupt. but does it realises so or is it simply a foreign concept?

═══ HEADCANON INQUIRIES ═══

Worst Trait

---Oh man this one is always hard for me to answer because of how A/Bel's...existence works. I've written this before but I'll just put it here: A/Bel is fundamentally inhuman, so its difficult to answer this as it ultimately doesn't really hold views that humans could hope to understand. Many villains are driven by something easily comprehensible to the human mind; love, power, safety--things everyone of us has felt at least once in our lives. A/Bel, though, is a demonic entity. It doesn't care about any of the things we care about and doesn't have any human motives--it can't. To it, humans are material to be used; meat. Hell--to say A/Bel views humans as a human views something like a cow is even an overstatement; humans are inherently compassionate--we are loving, we feel sympathy when we look into an animal's eyes, even if we've consumed it at a prior time. A/Bel is incapable of this, it doesn't have the necessary function in its mind to have that same level of connection. It can understand why that connection exists, but only in the same way a computer program understands code. It cannot feel it, it can only have the knowledge of it. To A/Bel, humans are like ants being paved over for new sidewalk--our deaths are inconsequential to it and it's sole purpose is to devour, to eat.

That was somewhat long winded, but I think its important to explain that speaking in human terms of morality-- everything A/Bel does is horrible and bad from the root of its actions. It manipulated and used its knowledge of the human psyche to exploit a grieving child before securing said child as a food source until death--and even then it will not let go. It dons aesthetics that, at the very end, will fade into nothing too; and those aesthetics only have one purpose--to give its vessel the slowly dwindling hope that a human could ever connect with it. That the weeks, months, years, and entire lifetimes MEANT something to it; right? Otherwise why would it stick around? But it doesn't...and its impossible. Hell it even uses Robin's late father's voice.

Robin, in himself, is the representation of how in the grand enormity of a compassionless existence--we do not matter to beings that fall outside of our own way of thinking. To any human, Robin's story is deeply traumatizing and horrendous, it naturally incites compassion and the want to protect. To a creature like A/Bel? Robin's vulnerability is the perfect nesting ground to burrow, and a canvas to create even more horror within...and everything about that is wrong.

So trying to grade his worst trait through the eyes of a human is difficult. Its actions and reasoning is so outside of human perspective I couldn't even try to understand it. The only thing I could ever say as worst is...all of it.

Best Trait

I alluded to this in another answer but I can put that here too and expand on it: Due to Abel coming into Robin's life at the ripe age of 15 - it has actually influenced quite a lot of his personality as, despite knowing better, Robin did naturally place Abel into the "family" compartment in his mind. It wasn't as though he had much choice. It walked beside Robin for an entire decade before both of their lives ended at the same time, but Abel - shockingly - used the last bit of its power to partially revive Robin in an act of mercy/love/survival (?) and it still doesn't know why it did such a thing.

It also, and this is very important: IT DOES NOT SABOTAGE HIM AS MUCH AS ONE WOULD THINK. I'd actually go as far as to say that it never does; Robin was never actually influenced by Abel once the contract was put into place. It did not ignite his obsession with getting his family back or his fall into darker magic, and it doesn't really push him to continue down the path he was on. It works to make Robin comfortable and happy in order to protect its meal, and gives Robin the means to an end to do certain things.

I would even argue to say that it has helped Robin in ways since it practically helped raise him. It was the influence he needed, weirdly enough. It comforted him, cooked him meals, taught him how to be confident - sure this all came from a place of selfish need for its meal but.... It did put legitimate effort into the act, it worked hard to make him feel safe, to make him happy (or what it could define as happiness since it cannot understand complex emotions), and to kindle his mind.

How aware of its nature is it?

Extremely. A/Bel and Robin both never forget what it really is throughout the entirety of their relationship. They don't speak of it outwardly but its something they are both highly aware of, and they do not even pretend otherwise. A/Bel also knows that it is a mask to wear and that its a recombinant lifeform, its a mish-mash of what Bel, the core, knows of humans. Without Robin being alive, A/Bel will also pass leaving just the core behind to continue onto its next meal, it isn't really "alive", it knows this and works hard to keep Robin safe because of it.

That being said, due to this acknowledgment it does keep its guise on VERY heavily towards other people. Humans cannot tell A/Bel is anything but a normal person, maybe a bit bizarre but nothing else. A/Bel is a tool, an instrument and a means to an end. Nothing more, nothing less.

I think this also comes through quite a bit when A/Bel speaks about Robin to others, ever since its conception it has never once called Robin by his name. It usually refers to him as "the boy" or "that one".

Does it feel any type of way about being a demon?

A/Bel is a biological tool, an instrument and a means to an end. Nothing more, nothing less. Despite its mask, intelligence, decision making and personality it is important to remember that A/Bel is just something to be worn and used for this momentary blip in the actual entity's existence. At the root A/Bel has as much individual will as a wrench. So it doesn't really...feel anything about it. Unless wrenches think.

The only time this becomes an actual issue is in modern au. Its been firmly established that A/Bel has returned to due Robin's soul being recycled and him being alive brings A/Bel back as was the basis of their contract, which lasts an eternity. Now its dealing with something it was never supposed to, it knows it died; and it isn't really sure how to..process it. So! It's feelings may change now that it has experienced the terrifying concept that is mortality but that's for the thread to toy with.

As of current its grappling with the issue quietly since it only really has Evelynn to discuss it with. So. Yikes!

It is morally bankrupt. but does it realise so or is it simply a foreign concept?

A/Bel, mask and core, cannot really...grasp human feelings in the same way we do, particularly complex ones. It can tell that humans would disagree with its methods but it doesn't understand why, nor does it try to. It also recognizes morally unwell characters and their influence on the world around them, it doesn't know why - again - but it has had conversations with Robin about having relations with more dangerous individuals and why its a bad idea. Ultimately its probably just to serve its need for keeping tis food safe but alas, it serves its function as being what Robin needs.

It is a mask that changes depending on the contract it makes and what its vessel needs, until modern au's explorations are complete this answer is ultimately impossible to come up with as its never had to recognize itself as alive or really think about what life means to it. However I don't think it will ever have the same revelations as @agonizedembrace's Evelynn - it might break its existence if it does. But! That's something to play with more in the future.

[quietwingsinthesky]

it ever hit you out of nowhere that castiel is living in a dead guy's body and the show just does not care. it does not care. jimmy novak might as well not exist the moment he or claire is out of sight. cas stole a guy's body and his face and his life, and we can't ever talk about it or discuss it in detail because of how fucking horrifying it is that sam and dean's best friend just walks around in a dead guy suit. there's not even a human soul in there anymore. it's just a corpse. stone-cold body snatcher indeed.

[deathbypufferfish]

I created some art today to visualize how my functional seizure auras feel to me. For those who don't know, some people (not all), get a feeling before they have a seizure.

If you look it up on Google one of the descriptions is "indescribable feeling". So I thought I'd visualize this. I started it while I was still in an aura as well. It's a very distressing feeling, so it felt good to paint it out.

[silviakundera]

Haha I also used the dickless bore. I thought that only the two main characters came back didn't know he did as well. I still don't buy him ever being into her but that's just me I do wonder if he's going to try and kill her again. I do think Li Rong is treating him too well for my liking she should at least treat hit similarly or worse than she treated ML I want to see wet paper towel non stop suffer.

on one hand, imo a SRQ who is heartless doesn't work for the story the writer is trying to share with us. On the other hand, it's totally ok to decide to be a full-time hater towards a minor character, just because it's fun. I support haters! 🎉 \o/ 🎉

One thing that I think is relevant when comparing LR's reactions: if PWX had killed her, the motive would have been as part of his mission to have his childhood love Qin Zhenzhen's son become the next emperor. (Remember, he came over to threaten her life over that right before she died and called his ex Zhenzhen lmao) THE AUDACITY. In contrast, LR is viewing her murder at SRQ's hands as part of the revenge plan for the Su family's execution.

Some passages of Li Rong's POV:

After a few moments, she whispered: “Where did the scent on you come from?”

“If I say it, you might be upset.” Pei Wenxuan’s eyes had a hint of gloating at others’ pain.

Li Rong thought for a while and frowned, “Su Rongqing?”

“Yes.”

...Li Rong said nothing. She blankly stared into the fire.

Pei Wenxuan turned the fish over and looked at her with a smile, seemingly quite happy. Li Rong found that he had a fearless, unabashed look of enjoying a good play and couldn’t help but be a little fazed.

She believed everything Pei Wenxuan said.

---

Su Rongqing was someone that she saved with her own hands.

That year, Prince Su rebelled, and Su Rongqing’s elder brother spoke up for Prince Su. Later on, he was falsely accused of colluding with Prince Su, implicating the Su clan with treason.

At that time, Li Chuan was so furious that he fainted. He put the entire Su clan in prison without going through the Joint Trial of Three Divisions first and put the men to death and the women into exile. She disagreed with this decision and rushed to beg Li Chuan before the Su clan received their sentence. After being subjected to ten planks, with Pei Wenxuan’s intervention, she was finally able to ask for amnesty for the Su clan.

Even if the death sentences can be forgone, it was impossible to escape punishment while still alive. Even though the men of the Su clan could live, they would be subjected to castration. The others couldn’t bear the humiliation, so they all committed suicide in prison. When she arrived, there was only one man “desperate for life and afraid of death” left among the men of the Su clan, Su Rongqing.

At that time, she had told Su Rongqing that she saved him without the intention of asking him to repay her. She could give him silver and a position, so that he could continue to live a good life in the future.

Back then, she didn’t have any special feelings towards Su Rongqing. It was just that he had saved her before, so after he took care of her, bit by bit, she felt grateful, and…vague sentiments towards him.

For the most part, she sought to save the Su clan for Li Chuan and her own conscience. The Su clan was a prominent, noble family. It was difficult for her to sit back and watch if they died in such an ambiguous manner.

At that time, Su Rongqing refused to go.

...It wasn’t that she had never thought that Su Rongqing would not take revenge on her. After all, it was Li Chuan who ordered all the men of the Su clan to be beheaded and exiled all the female family members. It was impossible for anyone to forget this blood feud, let alone the formerly first and most outstanding gongzi of that year?

For so many years, she had never dared to give him real authority, observing him and guarding against him while still trying to help him live a better life. She couldn’t actually kill him because of her own conscience, but she couldn’t actually trust him and give him power.

In the end, he still decided to act. He killed her first, then successfully took her authority in the name of eliminating Pei Wenxuan. If she guessed correctly, he would not leave with the advisors. Instead, he would borrow the excuse of taking revenge for her and enforcing the will of the people to join forces with the Empress, assist Li Xin in ascension, and fight to the death against the remnants of Pei Wenxuan’s faction.

...

She had anticipated this possibility from the moment she took Su Rongqing in, but she couldn’t help feeling a bit regretful when it actually happened.

[salty-software-engineer]

Man I just finished Babel and I was excited to read discussions online because there's so much going on in it with so many little things and just....angry white people. Everywhere. Truly a dead dove moment.

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 5!!!

[spotaus]

Thinking I might redesign and/or finally design a smarter base for ec-4o!Dust. Because a farm-house is funny, but doesn't make much sense anymore.

So, I think it's smarter to have an old government base as his location. It'd have good space for storage when Blue eventually comes along, a bunch of old firearms for Dust's obsession, and would be a safe and defensible location as long as Dust's Paps keeps an eye out for intruders. It makes sense for a lot of plot points too, and adds an extra symbolic layer?

Like, Dust being there, he wasn't familiar with the government so he just clears out and burns whatever is left in the "office space" so he can make it into a house. He patrols the other two or three buildings every once in a while, but for some reason he doesn't know, folks avoid the place like the plague. He lives the solitary life he wanted.

Then Blue shows up, and he lets him and Rust share the space with him, for supplies and money in turn. Society is rebuilding, and Dust is gonna need to catch up. Blue has no clue why it's intimidating for his shop to be set up in an old government lab. He's unaware of the implications, but he's such a friendly guy that customers eventually warm up to him. The scariness of the government is lessened, because the old government that destroyed the country is gone, and now there's a kind soul helping others in its place. Rebuilding trust and comradery unknowingly.

And later on when other characters interact with the space, it gets Life in a way it never had. When Ink gets his hands on it and paints murals on the walls of the workshop in vibrant colors. Saejun is my favorite, because when he moves in, the other extra workshop is transformed into a garden, a green-house. He does hydroponics and breathes life slowly but surely back into the dead dirt, flowers cracking through the concrete style. It's a bright green spot that branches out in all directions like veins. Plants grow up the sides of the office, and harmless nature-creatures reside there.

When Cross, and Error, and Night and Dream find this place, when they're repaired, it has very little life. They're afraid of the war just as the organics are. Will it happen again? Are these people tampering with our codes? But no. They get to see this place turn into a home. Shelter others. Recreate lost things from scratch. It's a paradise they never got to see in their lifetimes. It was never in their calculations.

And then when Geno and Reaper show up. Geno, a guy who'd been stripped of his whole life, forced to start and finish a war that took millions of lives. The answers he seeks are all in an old government building, a place that ruined his life. He swore he'd see things to the end, though, so he approaches it expecting the worst. And instead of government officials that somehow escaped his vengeful wrath, he finds a ragtag group of monsters and robots, who are living peacefully in the location. Some of them resent him for what he did, but others accept him with open arms. He's not sure how to react for a long time. The belief that something good prospered through the war us unthinkable.

Then Reaper. He's under the belief that tech is his enemy. He was raised to resent the robots, even before the war. The war only proved his family right. And so seeing this place, with robots living freely? It made him furious. He'd been stripped of his weapons after attempting an attack, though, so he had to bide his time. And yet, the longer he stayed, the more he heard of each robot's story. How they were manipulated, and had their very essence altered. Their bodies and functions forced to do something they never wanted to. That struck a bit closer to home. But it was Saejun and Axe that really hit hard for him. Axe was raised in a Cult. That was what he'd called it. One that made him believe things that harmed him. One that forced him to do things against his will. For everyone else this was a place of relaxation, but for Axe it was a place of healing. And Reaper realized, begrudgingly, that Axe's story felt a lot like his own. And maybe, just maybe, he might've been in the wrong.

And idk this place that once brought so much fear, a place where robots were customized for a horrible war? One that Dust barely survived, one that Blue was too young to remember, one that everyone either participated in or was forced to live through? The place that started it all heals the damage done by it. Smth smth story symbolism?

Oh, one last thing: Lust's recovery was initially meant to be in a hidden room of the farm-house, but now I'm thinking there was a scrap room in the warehouses that no one ever got to, and Lust was put in there because his model was just too impractical for the remodeling for war-machines. There's a lot in that room like him, but he's the only one with his files still in his ecto. So, his experience with this place is jarring too. Last he remembered, he was being ushered into a building with other ectos, and they were being scrapped. Now he wakes up in the same location, but none of that horror is to be seen, instead replaced with a bright workshop and even brighter eyes looking him over worriedly. He was freed from his programming constraints while Blue worked on him, so he has to learn to be an actual person, and this place he was sent to to become a pile of scraps became his first real home.

[eryanlainfa]

Learnt about Welcome Home lore litteraly just yesterday... SO HERE IS MY OC!

Their name as a whole is Weekly! They have a dissociative identity disorder, making them multiple identities within a single body.

(Disclaimer : my OC is in no way a good/realistic exemple of DID. This is a fictional fan-character for a fictional story about a fictional show.)

In a universe where the show aired other days than just saturdays- Weekly is a reccuring neighbour who seems to be a different person depending on which day of the week we're in. Always taking after one of the other neighbours (except Wally) they seem to always be assisting one of them.

Each identity refers to the others as if they were all members of the same family, insisting they are all different people with different lives, and calling you crazy if you dare insinuate otherwise.

They all have different relationships with the neighbours, and different preferences and way of thinking. Some of them do share memories with each others but not every identities will remember the same things.

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

[nazumichi]

putting a pin in my “I might be some form of aro, that would make sense” situation because I’ve got essays to write currently, so

[windwardstar]

so occasionally i go through the bookmarks on my fics to see if anyon has left any interesting comments. and I think I've found one o mf my favorites:

[image text: Bookmark Tags: The sibling relationships in this are genuinely fascinating, nice fic. end text]

sibling dynamics in fics are probably my favorite thing and I always need more of them and I try and make them hold equal standing with other relationships in the fic because just like fuck i have so many thoughts and feelings around them and put so much effort into writing them and giving them room to have it. And anytime i get a comment telling me that I've done a good job writing them it just is like YES!!!!

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

having a lot of thoughts about how people use 'normalize' when they mean 'destigmatize' or 'make the nature of into common knowledge,' and how they conflate 'the perception of this thing as normal' with the thing actually being a normal occurrence, and how it is in fact incredibly harmful to try to convince people that an ideal situation is normal when that does not map onto their lived reality or the dangers they need to be aware of to avoid. it is 3:33am though so writing up an actual poast about it will have to wait for later

[audiovisualrecall]

Last night my mom was like okay tomorrow let's spend the day looking into the state health insurance stuff together and I was like okay great! I'll enroll in the work one and we will see if the state options are any good. I Can dream about doing The Artist Thing and not just continue to try to do the Normal (aka Neurotypical) Thing of a normal Job when my brain isn't good at that and it leads to embarrassing meltdowns and lots of stress for me.

And today.... she apparently asked dad to start working on it with me but I didn't come down for breakfast till 11 at which pt he started working on the easel he's actually decided to Make me for my birthday gift (crazy man! Looks at the ones in stores and looks at plans and decides he can do better and just goes and starts!), and he didn't mention anything to me before that, and she was at services this morning and then got some groceries and got home at like almost 1, had a snack? Lunch? And was like I'm gonna just sit down for a bit and then we can do that, but I started reading and just realized it's almost 2 so went to talk to her and she's napping. So. Idefk. I'm disappointed.

[jonny-b-meowborn]

I am genuinely so terrified of the fact that I have to find a job now. I'm trying to think of or look up a job that's suitable for my mentally ill autistic ass and I just. I don't know. Everything either requires some very specific qualifications that I don't have, or seems at best awfully exhausting, at worst literally putting me in danger. And I'm not even exaggerating, I genuinely think that working in retail, for example, could possibly kill me if I was forced to do that job for long enough. I sometimes get overwhelmed to the point of crying when there's too many other customers while I'm shopping, I can't imagine working in an environment like that. I suppose physical jobs could work, I've been to this blueberry plantation twice last week and mentally I was fine, but it was. So tiring. And you don't even make that much money a day, I don't think I could earn enough even if I did work there everyday, not to mention it's only a seasonal job. Right now it's fine for me to go there every now and then, but if I wanted to move out and become independent I'd have to get an actual day job. And that sounds impossible. The only job that sounds good to me is being an artist, it's not too mentally or physically difficult, and it's something I enjoy. But I'd have to get commissions constantly or start a small business or something like that to actually survive. And I'm not saying it's impossible, I know that people can live by being an artist, but it's so hard to get into that field. I wish I could do it but I dont know if it's possible for me. Makes me wanna cry. I hate this I hate that my brain isn't suited for this world and still I have to participate in all that shit that everyone has to do. My brain isn't made for working like that

[electricpurrs]

i keep having embarrassingly deeper-than-they-should feelings about caboose that im not sure what to do about, with how i feel like i relate in a pretty genuine and sweet way to him in an autistic level and i do feel like reading him that way makes real sense but im just incapable of feeling very good about it when its very very clear caboose's neurodivergent esque behavior is applied exclusively to make the butt of the joke off how stupid he is. i care about him a lot as a character but i mostly just wanna rip him off r-slur-loving rooster teeth's hands and handle him with a minimum level of respect

[salt-baby]

Hello! I am a person with an invisible disability, and I also have trouble socializing because I’m autistic. I sometimes worry that my interactions with other disabled people will come across like I have a weird attitude toward disability just because I’m incredibly fucking awkward and seem like I have a weird attitude about everything. I would like to have some friends who are also disabled in real life- I feel very lonely and isolated right now, struggling to manage my disability and slipping under the radar, and I just wish I had some people to commiserate with. But I worry that if I try to seek out conversations with disabled people they might take it the wrong way or not believe me, i.e. think I’m just some weirdo trying to identify with them baselessly and invade their personal lives. I just wondered if you had any advice. I have gotten the message loud and clear that I’ll never fully be welcome in my social circles of able-bodied people, but I’m scared to try and forge relationships with other disabled people. Thanks for any advice!

Good news - I'm also autistic! I haven't talked about it on my blog before, because to me, my autism doesn't feel disabling and I like my blog to have a narrow focus, but I definitely do relate to wanting to reach out to people and feeling too awkward to manage it.

Regarding other disabled people doubting you because you have an invisible disability, or because you might talk about it in a different way than other people, I wouldn't be too worried. In my opinion, disability is an indelible trait - that is to say, it's something that changes you as a person and always leaves its marks on someone. When reading, I can usually tell when an author is disabled. The shared experiences we've all had make it easy to recognize each other, even if medical gear or signs of illness aren't explicitly visible.

Even if the way we communicate isn't the same as others, that doesn't mean that the truth that you are disabled won't come out. It'll be in the way you talk about disability (likely radically more accepting than most people would be), the way you treat others with a disability, and the way you talk about yourself. There are some things that only disabled people ever seem to understand, because some things you just have to live to get.

I won't lie and tell you that all disabled people will recognize you as one of their own - some disabled people, insecure in their own disability, will try to claim you're "not disabled enough" to make themselves feel better. I can tell you that I believe you, that your disability is an objective fact, and that these are people you wouldn't want around anyway. Every disabled person is already "disabled enough", and I think doubting our fellow disabled people always does more harm than good.

As for seeking out disabled people, I think it can be difficult to navigate. It's a lot easier for people over thirty to find other disabled people than it is for people younger than that. You might try looking for local disability organizations, support groups, or local Facebook groups, but often the people who attend these events are older, and these sorts of groups can be hard to find outside of big cities. There is also a symbol of invisible disabilities: the sunflower lanyard, which you might find helpful. I personally like to wear sunflower motifs, to represent my POTS, but nobody has ever commented on them.

Still, 1 in 4 people in the US are disabled - we're the world's largest minority. By happy accident, I've found that being open about my own disability has helped other disabled people find me. If I talk openly and casually about my knee braces, other people who wear braces will start to mention theirs to me. I think this makes it easier for others to talk about it - disability is still a taboo topic, and sometimes other's aren't brave enough to discuss it openly. When I mention it first, casually, and often, it not only normalizes it but makes it easier for others to join me.

As a little autism pro-tip, I think we tend to have a bit of a surprise tool when it comes to social interactions: our sincerity. I personally find it very easy to be blunt and sincere, and others very much so appreciate being told they're valued. If you meet someone with a disability, and they talk about it with you, thanking them genuinely for it can be a great tool. "thank you so much for talking about that with me, I'm so relieved to find another disabled person" or "that was genuinely such a helpful tip, thank you so much for sharing that with me" or "you're a really cool person, I'd love to talk with you again!" can all be really great ways to make sure our autism isn't read as disinterest. You and I may not show our emotions like others do - sometimes neurotypicals need it spelled out, and if they don't, saying something sincere like that can never hurt. Just make sure you're telling the truth and that it's from the heart. It took me years to realize others thought I was checked out and standoffish when really I was listening closely and excited to be there, and this is the solution that's worked best for me.

I wish you all the best. You seem like a very lovely person, and I think if we knew each other in real life, we'd be friends.

As always, if you want, you're welcome to send me another ask or dm me. I'm always happy to talk about disability.