#It makes me want to believe in reincarnation so bad bc maybe next time the universe will get it fucking right

[dandan-theberserker]

.

[cheegu3]

GOOD BOY GONE BAD |

Yeonjun - trust fund baby

synopsis: He was the ultimate, stereotypical rich kid. A trust fund baby having grown up with everything he wanted, never had to work an honest day in his life. You didn’t know exactly why your dad decided he was the ‘’ perfect fit ‘’ but you ended up being forced to marry him.

wc: 8.3k

pairing: f.m reader x yeonjun

genre: yandere, thriller

note: I decided to do short stories to post for a member every once in a while - every member gets assigned a song from the album somewhat related to the story + every other story has a good or bad ending, 🖤

there’s a lot of time-skips bc I didn’t want to make it too long, also the ending is so bad I’m terrible at endings

a/n + extra warning: this will probably be the darkest fic out of the all the members as it has non-con in it (not description, only ‘’ beginning of it ‘’ + talk of it after - and ofc this is in no way a reflection of yeonjun irl. This character is the most vile, disgusting, punchable asshole I’ve probably ever created. Pls read trigger warnings before continuing ⚠️⚠️⚠️

tw / trigger warning: non-con sex (SA), murder, degrading language, swearing, arranged marriage, forceful feeding, daddy issues & mommy issues, unhealthy attachment style, dacryphilia, LGBTQIA death

((none of the GIFs are mine, if you feel uncomfortable with yours being used in yandere fics pls message me <3 :) ))

He didn’t deserve any of it.

That was all you could think about as you walked the halls of your husband-to-be’s extravagant house. You had always had a deep-rooted hate for rich people. What had they really done in their past lives that made them so special, that made them so worthy of the privilege and easiness that was handed to them at their birth. What was it?

In all your years alive, you had never figured it out. You were quite spiritual due to your upbringing, and believed rich people or people in general who live comfortably with minimal pain - were people who had worked hard in the afterlife to earn points, being able to reincarnate to whatever they wanted to - yet it was still a mystery; why, how - you did not possess the true answers to these questions. You could only watch as they took everything they had for granted, while you barely had enough to survive.

Perhaps the person having the riches didn’t know himself, because he was arrogant, delusional and entitled, thinking the whole world was supposed to be catered to him. 

All he knew was that he wasn’t built for love. At least not normal and healthy love. He only knew obsessions and extremes, that was how he was raised with absent parents, always working. He knew that their parenting, or rather lack of lead to their son being unhealthily attached to his maids and that this would eventually affect his love-life too. He wouldn’t fall in love the typical way - no, he’d fall in ‘’ love ‘’ due to obsession, due to not being able to get whoever he desired whenever he desired it, like a kid throwing a tantrum.

You just happened to be an inconvenience - why did your father have to propose such an idea to a lustful, hormonal young man who was trying to figure out the world. 

So it was really your fault. You were the reason for his forbidden, hushed feelings; those that were dark, unwanted and scary - those he carried but could never show.

That’s why he looked down on you now, standing on the second floor at the top of the stairs - with a mix of emotions behind his eyes. Hatred, anger, maybe pity.

You looked quite kind, sweet and far too innocent for what he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop from happening to you.

He was going to ruin you completely, he’d enjoy it for sure but now all he could feel was sympathy for the broken down version, that was a complete 180 from this woman, that would come to be.

*******

The butler next to you shifted uncomfortably, very much embodying the tense and slightly awkward air in the room.

“ Welcome to house Choi, ma’am “ he pressed out before hurrying away.

You now stood in front of your husband. It all felt a little too unreal. Other than the person you had been married off to, there was also the fact that were was no wedding, no send off or goodbye, no nothing really.

It made it so much harder to accept your current reality.

“ Hello “

He was the first one to speak out of the two of you, now that you had been left alone, to your dismay.

“ Hi “ you said, only keeping the eye-contact briefly.

“ I’ll show you to our room “

You nodded, swallowing all the insults you wanted to hurl at your husband. He took you further into the second floor, where endless hallways stretched from a sort of pentagon shaped base. 

You followed him hurriedly, afraid to get lost - to the middle hallway, at the end of it was yet another unnecessarily extravagant and luxurious item, an almost white or beige tall door with gold carvings on it.

He pushed it open to reveal even more lavishness. You refused to show any sort of fascination or awe at any of it. Yet he still looked at you smugly while you took it all in though, as if expecting anyone to be immensely impressed.

You put down your bags at the end of the bed and sat on it, sighing deeply since you felt grateful for some time to yourself and to be able to rest. But your husband, Yeonjun seemed to linger for long in the doorframe, just watching you creepily.

You finally tore your eyes away from the floor and looked at him, an assertive look on your face.

‘‘ Can I get some alone time or will you stick to me at all times because we’re married now? ‘‘ you asked coldly while keeping eye-contact.

Something flashed behind his eyes, but just as quickly as you had seen it, it was gone and instead replaced by a cocky grin.

‘‘ You’re feisty, aren’t you? ‘‘ he laughed and then turned on his heel, but stopped before closing the door behind him.

‘‘ Ah, right. Dinner’s at 6, don’t be late ‘‘ he pointed at something behind you, a clock and then winked cheekily before finally exiting completely.

You buried yourself under the covers, barely having any time to think before you drifted off to sleep in a heartbeat. 

*******

A loud noise woke you up several hours later. You swore you had just dozed off for a couple of minutes. As the grogginess from sleep wore off, an angry Yeonjun came into your line of view.

He was staring down at you, tie undone and he looked like he could get on top of the bed and choke you just about then.

You sat up straight, now feeling a lot more awake with the fear-inducing eyes on you.

‘‘ S-sorry, did I..? ‘‘ you began, not quite sure yet what you had done wrong.

‘‘ Miss dinner? Yeah ‘‘ he wasted no time on closing the space between you, a hand gripping your arm and hoisting you up on your feet.

You only stared at him in fear but he paid you no mind - stubbornly forcing you to go down the stairs and sit to eat.

The fact that while glancing over and seeing that his seat was empty, made the whole situation more uncomfortable. He was standing to your left, very close and just staring at you waiting for you to eat.

You didn’t even realise you were sweating - you should’ve just taken a bite, to satisfy him but for some reason you couldn’t. The anxiety paired with the intense stare on you made you unable to hold your fork straight.

After a while he was even more fed up. One hand grabbed ahold of your jawline while the other grabbed the fork with a bit of meat. He then forced your mouth open and shoved it in so forcefully that you felt the ends of the fork stab the roof of your mouth.

You winched away from him, but he was already going for another bite. This time you let him open your mouth without much resistance.

When his eyes lingered on you again you quickly swallowed. He looked satisfied and you made the mistake of thinking he wasn’t angry anymore; that, that was the end of it.

He led you upstairs again, into your shared bedroom and closed the door behind. Everything was normal at first, he got ready for bed without saying a word - you of course turned away when he took his shirt off and instead went to the bathroom to do the same thing and brush your teeth.

You ended up admiring the nightgown he had given you. It was a bit too short but it was very cute with bows and lace at the edges. You smiled for the first time that day at such a small thing.

Then you braced yourself before walking out again. You barely looked at him before crawling into bed but felt how the bed dipped as he got in too.

Why was he being so quiet?

‘‘ Goodnight ‘‘ you said, hesitantly.

You felt your cheeks slightly heat up at the long silence after. Then you heard shuffling and felt him turn around to face you.

You felt uncomfortable again, closing your eyes and trying to think of anything but the fact that he was so close. That’s when he started to move closer, his heavy breath eventually tickling your neck as he buried his head in the crook of it.

‘‘ Aren’t you gonna give me a wedding gift? Stay still for me ‘‘ he said in a half-whisper, his husky voice sending shivers down your back.

Your furrowed your brows and was about to ask what he meant. 

‘’ I deserve this ‘’ he added.

Yeonjun’s hand slipped under the nightgown, lifting it so your underwear was exposed. You gasped and instantly reacted by trying to tug it down but his hand caught your wrist.

He liked how you struggled in his iron-like grip, he was stronger than you, way stronger and he was very determined to get what he had been waiting all day for.

You whimpered as you felt yourself run out of energy to keep trying to fight back and the realisation that the inevitable would happen because of it, broke your heart; tears streamed down your face as he flipped you over on your stomach.

Yeonjun felt ecstatic. He had been waiting too long for this, the moment you were declared his wife he wanted to mark you as his - practically willing to go to your house straight away. But he composed himself, he wanted it to be special. 

As special as it can be for someone who is sick and is only able to love sickly. In his fantasy it wasn’t romantic, it was a sort of ceremony. For his pleasure, and for your submission to be put into stone.

What he hadn’t expected though was for him to enjoy your tears so much. While watching you now, face down and pressed to the pillow with muffled sobs escaping you - he felt arousal and ecstasy and most of all power, all that he craved in front of him and within.

You did that to him. You brought out those addictive feelings. It was your fault you made him feel like this.

And finally he’d be able to punish you for it, something sure to leave a mark forever.

*******

The sun shined right onto your face early in the morning, making you toss and turn and realise at the same time that you were unfortunately alive - you had prayed to not wake up again, but alas God never listens.

The memories of the night before came flooding back to you but you tried your best to push them away by repeating random words inside your head in hopes of your brain latching on to something else.

You cautiously peeked at the man beside you. Seeing that monster after what he did to you almost made you throw up. The glance was quick, he looked like he was sleeping comfortably, resting on one of his arms that was stretched up and under his head.

Despite you crying yourself to sleep and wishing to never wake up again, there was one thing you had wished for more - for him to never wake up again. It would be the ultimate karma if he never did. You would inherit his fortune living comfortably in this big mansion all alone, not a man in sight to disturb you.

But whenever you allowed your mind to wander like that the more realistic thoughts would hit, unfortunately. Saying that if it sounded too good to be true, it was very likely to be so.

Soon enough, you felt your husband’s hands wrap around your waist, tugging you so close that your back was touching him.

Involuntarily you began to shake, thinking he was going to repeat his horrific acts until you showed submission and obedience.

A sudden deep laugh caught you off guard.

“ You can’t even look at me “ Yeonjun said, tauntingly.

You closed your eyes praying to whatever God was out there to not make you cry in this moment, to not show weakness.

“ You’re still fighting, which makes it more fun for me “ he added.

“ But really, we both know you should give up, especially after yesterday “ he sneered.

Your body froze, you felt like you had to get out of his arms because they were not a safe space. Putting your weight on your forearm, you pushed with it to sort of shuffle out of his hold.

He scoffed and not even a second later you were pulled back into his arms without any effort.

It felt humiliating and defeating.

“ You’re so fucking weak “

His words hit like knives, and he knew it did.

The dark, mocking chuckles that followed felt very disturbing. But nonetheless, you were still extremely determined to not give in completely and let yourself cry. It proved to be harder than you had thought. You almost flinched and audibly gagged when you felt his disgusting hands wandering and snaking around your waist again. It took a lot of effort to not do any of that, on top of not crying - it was honestly exhausting.

Your eyelids began feeling heavy again. Yeonjun felt you relax - finally not fighting back anymore, which surprised him. Instead of having to fight the emotions from overtaking you, you now had to fight to stay awake, because there was no way in hell you’d let yourself fall asleep around him and be as vulnerable as can be.

It was taking all of your energy to stay awake though. The man behind you gave you a rare smile, one only he could see. He couldn’t help but find you cute in that moment. You looked very vulnerable - fighting deeply against the unfairness of the world, but in the end, succumbing to something as simple as a basic human need.

How pathetic

As your breathing became heavier, head hanging only for it to dart back up a few seconds later - along with you desperately trying to tell yourself words in your mind to stay awake, you eventually was not able to fight the laws of the nature.

Your head dipped again, but this time you fell asleep deeply. Soundly sleeping comfortably in the arms of your abuser.

Yeonjun looked down at you with a newfound curiosity. In a way it was bittersweet - he could have manipulated you, played his cards right and made you fall in love but in the end he knew it was gonna be a one-sided relationship again, like all his past relationships, wether it be romantic or platonic.

He was scared of going out of his usual routine. New things or experiences scared him and he didn’t feel that anything such would go his way. If you knew this, maybe you wouldn’t blame him but then again, that was probably just him making excuses for acting badly towards people.

He hadn’t known any other way but for some reason you had to suffer because of it - Yeonjun knew that wasn’t fair, but he felt he couldn’t help it. It’s very hard to break free from the way you’re programmed to do, every day of your life.

Your newfound husband thought this as he looked at his wife. He didn’t want to do anything inappropriate at that moment, he just wanted to watch you sleep, curiously.

You looked the most comfortable and safe when you slept, a slight upturn of the corners of your mouth was something that indicated this, and something he had noticed the night before.

Maybe it was because that was the only place that felt truly safe for you. If he was normal, he would’ve started to feel immense guilt by now, but Yeonjun felt nothing.

He felt that very thing he did - he did for a reason and putting oneself’s first as a priority wasn’t a bad thing.

*******

When you opened your eyes again, it didn’t take long for you to recall what had happened just before you fell asleep. However, you quickly realised you couldn’t feel his strong hold around you anymore.

You looked behind you and then scanned the rest of the room and came to the conclusion that he must’ve got up and left the room. You let out a relieved sigh, not sure if you could handle his suffocating presence again. You were thankful for the few moments alone you got.

So you sat there for several minutes - not particularly admiring the room like you would’ve if this was normal, because it was anything but normal. Instead you were looking around the room to look for weapons and escape routes.

It was spacious, should he chase you; but it had downsides - it didn’t have any good weapons, maybe purposefully and it only had the one door to the bathroom, the other door to the entrance and windows that were far too high up.

You went over the pros and cons of jumping through the window, because you were way too sure there was no way you’d get out through the front; he had those terrifying guards, maids and probably an alarm. In short, way too many things to alert the devil that you were trying to escape.

If you were to jump, you might break a leg or two at most, you could handle one leg or a broken ankle, as well as a broken arm but maybe you were being way too optimistic. Either way you refused to let the small spark of hope inside die.

Firm knocks interrupted your thoughts. You glanced to the door just in time to see it open, revealing Yeonjun. He hadn’t even waited for you to give an answer, the thought made you scoff as you met his eyes - of course not.

‘‘ You’re finally up ‘‘ he said plainly.

You pursed your lips and nodded.

‘‘ Let’s go down then, my maids are waiting for you ‘‘

You furrowed your brows confusedly. His maids? What could they possibly want?

He laughed at your puzzled expression.

‘‘ To bathe you ‘‘ 

‘‘ To, bathe- ‘‘ you stuttered.

But your husband had already turned on his heel.

‘‘ I have short patience, move it ‘‘ he warned while looking over his shoulder at you, not stopping once.

You hurriedly followed and on the way down the staircase you looked around like you had done in the bedroom to look for escape routes and possible weapons. The sight disappointed you yet again, and without meaning to you let out a defeated sigh.

‘‘ No need to look, there’s no way out of here ‘‘ he snickered in front of you with his back turned.

‘‘ What? I wasn’t- ‘‘

‘‘ I have cameras, everywhere ‘‘ 

You swallowed the uncomfortable feeling in your throat. Technically you hadn’t done anything wrong but you were terrified of getting punished again, which was why you felt like you were now walking on eggshells.

You followed him all the way down the many notorious hallways - ending up outside a smaller bathroom, luxurious nonetheless, with the door standing open and revealing one maid kneeling by the bathtub. It looked like she was scrubbing it. When she heard your footsteps coming to a halt in front of the bathroom she looked up and gave a polite smile.

‘‘ Hello, master ‘‘

You cringed at the word.

‘‘ Take care of her ‘‘ Yeonjun said, barely reacting to what she had called him.

The maid nodded and then turned her attention to you.

‘‘ Welcome, y/n. We’re very happy you’re here ‘‘ she said, warmly.

You had to bite your tongue to hold yourself back from exploding in anger or giving her a sarcastic comment. Still, you realised they most likely had no choice in what to say or do when it came to their ‘master’s’ house.

A hand grazed your lower back, sending shivers down your spine, before giving you a slight nudge that made you take a step forwards.

You were about to look back and say something but yet again he was already on his way. You scoffed. He did how he pleased at all times.

‘‘ Y/n? ‘‘ the maid’s soft voice caught your attention again.

‘‘ Hm? ‘‘ you said mindlessly, still watching your husband striding down the corridor.

You wondered what he was in such a hurry to do, where was he going?

‘‘ By orders, I have to wash you. Please enter ‘‘ she said, the polite smile faltering a bit showing that her patience was running out.

You sighed and stepped inside. Not long after an arm reached behind you and closed the door, locking it.

The maid clearly didn’t want to waste any more time, because as soon as the click echoed in the small room - her petite hands quickly found the rim of your t-shirt. She was keeping eye-contact to get consent so she could continue undressing you, and it weirdly felt very intimate yet appreciative.

You nodded, smiling awkwardly. It was clear that both of you wanted it to be over with, so you weren’t going to fight and risk making it last longer.

She pulled the shirt over your head and looked into your eyes again when reaching for your pants. You nodded, avoiding eye-contact.

She did the rest swiftly and then told you to wait while preparing the bath. As she was doing so, you got the chance to really look at her. You couldn’t stop yourself even if you really wanted to. 

You were planning on leaving this place anyway and didn’t want to have to save people you had just met. But you couldn’t help but feel pity as you watched her turn on the tap. She looked young, but older than you by quite a few years and you knew deep inside that there was no way she was doing this job willingly, something you didn’t want to think about.

She also looked sad, her head was hanging most of the time, except for when she had to look into your eyes. It was obvious her polite, sweet smile was a trained automatic mechanism to appear fine and normal on the outside. But if you looked closer you could see the stress evident on her skin and her dark circles.

She turned to you now, with that smile on her face.

‘’ The bath is ready, miss ‘’

You got up and let yourself be lead into the bath, one hand holding onto hers for balance. While in you let out a satisfied breath. This was definitely the most relaxed you had felt since arriving at the mansion; a well deserved break.

After some time of having your eyes closed and a long silence, you opened your eyes again to thank the maid. Her hand was still holding yours but she looked back at you with such intensity that all your words got knocked out of you.

Her eyes were open wide, red specked like she hadn’t slept in days and her fingers tightened around your hand when she saw that she had finally caught your attention.

All you managed to get out was a confused groan.

‘’ Miss, you need to get out of here ‘’ she started, talking at a rapid speed.

‘’ It’s awful here you need to escape before it’s too late I know a way it will take time- ‘’ she added, so quickly it all melted into an incomprehensible mumble.

‘‘-slow down! ‘‘ you grabbed her shoulders to ground her and she breathed out shakily.

‘‘ I’m sorry, miss ‘‘ 

You smiled at her, seeing that she had calmed down but she looked rather disappointed in herself.

‘‘ You have to escape ‘‘ 

You tilted your head at this.

This was the last thing you had expected. The first worker you see is willing to risk their life to help you escape. Not only that, but they grab the first chance they get with you alone to tell you that you need to escape.

‘’ I know a way, I- ‘‘ 

‘‘-What? You know a way? Please tell me, hurry, please! ‘‘ 

It was your time to sound desperate now. You felt paranoid that Yeonjun would come back any minute now. Your heartbeat had picked up and you stared at her the same way, with the same intensity she had done just a few seconds ago.

‘‘ Yes, but it will take time, miss calm down ‘‘ her thumb stroked over your intertwined hands.

You breathed in and out deeply which made your heart-rate stabilise as well as calm your overactive mind which was overflowing with questions, having an urgent need for action.

‘‘ First, you need to gain his trust. You will have to do whatever it takes, no matter how much you hate it ‘‘ she nodded firmly when she saw you grimace at the idea.

‘‘ Then, once he trusts you enough he will let you go outside. You will always be with maids or guards outside but when the day comes that I’m the one to watch over you, you make a run for it! ‘‘ she said in a hushed, urgent voice.

‘‘ Where to? ‘‘ 

‘‘ At the end of the garden he has a botanical pathway, big plants and flowers cover it, but there’s a secret gate there at the very end that leads directly onto a footpath ‘‘

‘‘ You follow it and you will eventually reach a hill, on top you can see the neighbourhoods and the city. It won’t take long to get to the nearest house ‘‘

You nodded eagerly, now taking both of her hands into yours.

‘‘ Thank you, thank you so much ‘‘ your eyes welled up with tears of gratitude.

She gave you a genuine, wide smile full of hope for the first time.

‘‘ What are you doing? ‘‘ a curious and slightly disgusted voice asked.

You and the maid jumped at the new voice joining the conversation. None of you had noticed the door opening, Yeonjun must’ve opened it slowly because he heard hushed voices inside. 

But to your surprise, he didn’t look angry. He merely cocked an eyebrow and smirked when you looked at him bewildered and with what you could only imagine was a guilty expression.

‘‘ Are you two done? ‘‘

The maid snapped out of her shock and got up on her feet, pulling you up by the arm with her. She bowed deeply and seemed to keep her head hanging lower than usual, probably to hide her flushed cheeks.

‘‘ Yes, sorry sir ‘‘ she hurried to blurt out, voice shaky.

Yeonjun looked satisfied with her answer and turned his eyes to you again. An amused glint took over his brown eyes, that traveled over your body. That was the exact moment both you and the maid realised you were still naked.

You shrieked and immediately darted behind her to try and hide.

‘‘ Oh come on, it’s not like I haven’t seen it already ‘‘ he teased meanly. 

You felt yourself get angry again but held back when the maid’s words came into your head again. She, on the other hand looked embarrassed and slightly uncomfortable at his words.

Several seconds in silence passed without him moving an inch, he had a challenging look in his eyes whenever you dared meet them. So you sighed after finally having enough of the game and went past the maid to pick up your clothes.

You could feel both their eyes on you as you quickly got dressed but you ignored it and hoped that your cheeks wouldn’t be flushed as well.

Then you stood up and stepped out of the room to stand next to Yeonjun, ready to follow him. You gave the maid another small smile of gratitude.

‘‘ Let’s go ‘‘

*******

After your talk with the maid you barely saw her and you started to feel anxious, thinking your husband had gotten rid of her or somehow found out your scheming. Time was moving incredibly slow, it felt like he never let his noose around your neck go, never making things a bit easier for you or being a bit more lenient - no matter how much you took whatever he did to you.

Every night, you’d cry and pray that the next day would be different, that tomorrow would be the day he loosened the hold to give you the opportunity to escape.

You hoped he hadn’t noticed your sudden change in behaviour. Thankfully, you didn’t think so because he had acted the exact same the past week. He rarely showed affection unless it was concealed under a humiliating tone but nothing else had changed. He was away for most of the day, going to his prestigious school and studying some before coming to torment you.

But then, the day came at last. You had thought it was another normal day with the same routine, a day of similarity merging together with all the other mundane days. 

You got up at the same time as him like always. Then you went downstairs to make breakfast for him and with a dead, emotionless expression on your face, you served him. He finished eating and dragged you upstairs to sit on the bed, praised you for being a ‘’ good girl ‘’ and forcefully kissed you, like he always did because he was afraid of showing he actually loved you.

Then he went downstairs and you were expected to follow him. As you were about to close the door he spoke to the guard next to the door.

‘‘ Ah right, today, she’s allowed outside. Don’t let her get out of your sight ‘‘ 

You immediately lit up but you suppressed it from showing with all your might. The guard nodded and bowed as Yeonjun walked to his driver, meanwhile he himself turned to you.

He didn’t say anything, but just opened the door all the way so you could walk out. You gave him what you thought was a weak smile, filled with uncertainty and nervousness and then followed as he started walking down the garden.

The garden was a lot bigger than you had imagined, something that would be a disadvantage to a person looking to escape. It was wide, long and open - not having many hiding-spots due to the big flower bushes being far from the path. They followed the huge cobble-wall that seemed to go as far as you looked.

The guard came to a halt about halfway down the path. If you continued down the steps that were a few meters away, there was a crossroad, one way to the left, where you assumed hot-springs were, due to the cloud of steam emitting from over there - and one straight way that looked thick with bushes almost swallowing the small path, you were sure that was where you’d reach the botanical garden the maid was talking about.

You made a mental note of it and then walked over to the wooden bench that the guard was pointing to. He lingered for a few minutes behind, keeping a close watch on you but left momentarily to answer a phone-call.

When he returned he barked orders at the handful of gardeners watering the plants to keep an eye on you as he had to do something important.

This could be your only chance.

The only problem was that you had to distract them somehow. But you thought there were a few ways although a shot in the dark, that you had to try. Not trying would make you more disappointed in yourself than trying to escape and then getting caught.

So you took a few calming breaths to prepare yourself and then approached the one closest to you. She was an elderly lady and was crouched down, picking some berries.

‘‘ Excuse me? ‘‘

You went over the practiced lines and plan once more in your head and tried to give her a confident smile.

The elderly woman turned her head towards you and blinked a few times, a blank expression on her face.

‘‘ Um, well I saw that there were some kids over by the entrance, they were apparently cutting off the flowers to give to someone else ‘‘

She continued to stare at you with a puzzled expression but gave no answer. When you saw her head turn to look at the other workers you panicked a bit, she didn’t seem to believe you so you had to give everything you got.

‘‘ Really, think of how disappointed Yeonjun would be when he finds out, your master ‘‘

Her eyes bulged as soon as you mentioned Yeonjun and she quickly scrambled to her feet, setting off on a half-run straight away.

You hurried down the steps, getting even closer to the crossway now and hid along with the wall. The gardeners who were working on the flowerbeds further away looked at each other confusedly. 

You got lucky, they started to move to follow the elderly woman meanwhile the ones closest to the mansion’s wall, where they couldn’t see you, stayed behind.

Just like you had planned in your head, you waited a bit longer before you would try to run for it.

You started to count down a minute, glancing a lot at the workers above and down the path again. It seemed quiet, so you slowly moved along the wall.

‘‘ What do you think you’re doing? ‘‘

The blood in your veins froze.

That voice...the one you hated so much. 

It was coming from right behind you. Somehow, being caught redhanded made your fight or flight kick in and you ran for it without looking back.

You could hear steps coming closer and closer.

Heading straight for the overgrown botanical garden you jumped into a rose bush some meters in. Running wasn’t your strongest suit so you figured hiding was the smartest move, and also since he’d know exactly what you would’ve been heading for. 

The steps became louder and you held your breath as they went right past you. The sound disappeared completely as the distance between you and your captor increased. How you wished there was another way out though; all you could do now was to wait for him to run back after realising you weren’t there and then you could crawl out and make a run for it again.

It would take way longer than you had anticipated.

It felt like you had sat still for hours in the bush, not daring to move around or barely breathe. The sky had even turned dark before you felt brave enough to peek out from your hiding spot.

Every sound made your anxiety spike - every rustling leaf or crunch from the gravel below your feet. Maybe it wasn’t too late to turn back? You could go out and up to the house, beg on your knees for Yeonjun to forgive you and maybe you’d be left alone, unhurt. 

You quickly shook off this thought invading your mind, it was too late to turn back now, you had waited too long for this opportunity to escape your personal hell on earth to chicken out now.

You remembered what your mom had told you - if you try there’s a 50/50 chance, if you don’t, it’s 0%. With these words echoing in your mind you finally pushed the last bush aside, revealing the path again to you.

A quick glance from side to side told you that no one was on it. You also listened for a few seconds but all that could be heard in the deafening silence were your own heavy breaths. 

You took a hesitant step out, being fully out in the open now to whoever had a view of the botanical garden’s entrance. It felt as if the sound of your heart drumming in your chest would cause it to jump out any minute - maybe along with any predators that lurked in these corners. 

The path cleared only for you to come face to face with an overgrown bit again but you knew that this was the way out, the hidden door. Pushing through it would prove to be quite the hassle. Thorns cut your skin easily and you hissed while trying to ignore the warm liquid pouring down slowly.

There wasn’t much left now, the maid can’t have meant a long path.

Right as you were beginning to see the clearing through the thinner leaves in front, you were yanked back by your hair.

You yelped in pain and tried to get out of the person’s hold. Deep down, you knew who it was which only made you thrash around frantically, desperately trying to get away from your predator.

‘‘ Found you ‘‘

His voice was low with no amusement in it, like he was tired and quite irritated. You felt cold metal touch the exposed skin on your neck, and seconds later you weren’t able to continue fighting back.

You cursed yourself, Yeonjun and even the world for being so unfair - expecting your vision to get blurry and accepting it when you fell into darkness again. 

*******

Your husband stood in front of your slumped form now. The guards had tied you up behind the pillar like they were told and he was just waiting for you to wake up.

Yeonjun was feeling only a little bit bad about what was about to happen, but you had tried to escape after all. Although it wasn’t successful, you had almost put everything on the line. If the public found out that a top businessman’s son had treated his wife like that, then the empire wouldn’t be his to take over. He couldn’t let that happen, so he needed to teach you a lesson - never escape again, never even try it.

Minutes passed and he was getting impatient. He walked over and nudged you with his foot, like you were no more than an animal that he didn’t want to be associated with.

You stirred slightly and then opened your eyes. Immediately you wished you could go back to being asleep, the only place you seemed to get peace.

The first thing you saw was your dad. Hands and feet bound and kneeling on the floor with a gag in his mouth. He looked rough. There were visible cuts on his face and his head was hanging looking like just holding his head up was tiresome. 

‘‘ What have you done to him? Why is he here? ‘‘ you asked, voice hoarse.

You felt exactly like your dad, tired and like you had given up. That hope you had so desperately held on to was not at all evident in your voice now.

Yeonjun crouched down next to you and the corners of his mouth curled up. There was no frustration in his eyes anymore, he met yours confidently - he had after all gotten what he wanted.

‘‘ Your dad is here...because you couldn’t behave ‘‘ he says, mockingly slow like you were a child or too stupid to understand.

You didn’t answer him, you only looked at your dad with pity. Somehow you knew what was going to happen to him but you felt too tired and angry to care. Nothing really surprised you now anyway, especially when it came to the extent of Yeonjun’s sadism and cruelty. 

His eyebrows twitched while watching you, he was confused.

‘‘ You don’t care? ‘‘

At that you saw your father move, his head raising to somewhat try to look at you. Something stirred in your heart; no matter what he had done to you, you could never hate him. No matter how hard you’d try, there would always be a sense of love and care for him. You wanted him to be happy and healthy, not here to meet a horrible fate that was due to your reckless actions.

The realisation of your true feelings made a single tear fall. You looked at him and met his eyes, smiling bittersweetly.

‘‘ I do ‘‘

‘‘ But? ‘‘ 

‘‘ There’s nothing I can do ‘‘

His arrogant laugh echoed. Not long after, he started to turn his head to focus on your dad, as if expecting something.

‘‘ I think there’s something you should know. Before your dad meets his fate that is ‘‘

Yeonjun paid you no attention as you stared bewildered at him, not sure what to expect.

He smirked again, eyes never leaving your dad. You saw in the corner of your eye how one of his guards moved from behind.

‘‘ You see, your dad never sold you off, not easily anyway ‘‘ you blinked at him, dread slowly creeping up on you.

‘‘ He was forced to. My dad threatened that he would kill you when your dad failed to follow through a payment. This was the only way he could save your life although immediately putting his own in misery ‘‘ he laughed mockingly to your dad.

‘‘ How pathetic ‘‘

Your eyes stung with fresh tears. You wished so badly that he was wrong; that your dad had really been an awful person to give his daughter up like that. But reality was often much more crueler than you’d expect, making this goodbye a deeply painful one.

Yeonjun felt amused as he watched your dad cry upon seeing your tears fall. He had lived with such guilt and pain, having to know every day that you hated him. But now, he felt more the pain of seeing his beloved daughter cry as she realised something and as he knew they would soon be separated again.

During the time you were apart and you hated him, he couldn’t help but think like a father - was your husband treating you okay? Were you fed and cared for? Did you feel lonely?

It ached his heart to come face to face with the person he had been forced to give you off to - a couple of days ago when he had visited your parents’ home, there to take him away and cause his daughter more pain.

Still he felt immensely grateful that the truth would come out before you had to say your goodbyes. It hurt too much on his soul to know you had hatred for him, for something he only did to save you.

Your dad saw it too, the man approaching him while you were focused on Yeonjun, hanging on to every word he said. Therefor he hurried to say his last words.

‘‘ I love you, y/n, goodbye ‘‘

Your head whipped around at his words just as the wandering man plunged a sword through his heart. It felt as if your whole world came crashing down. The lifeless body of your dad fell to the ground and a thick silence followed.

You started to sob uncontrollably, breaths getting quicker. Yeonjun smiled at the mess he had created and then sat down fully next to you, his back resting against the pillar. 

He let you cry there for a long time. You weren’t even sure how long had passed when your sobs calmed down and you felt like there wasn’t an ounce of water left to cry out anymore.

It seemed as if his niceties had been extended for a reason though as more was yet to come. The entrance door opened, the maid coming in with two guards behind her and she was tied just like your dad had been.

You furrowed your brows in confusion and sat up straight, the grogginess from crying quickly disappearing.

Yeonjun got up too, looking happy that there was some new action. This time, he decided to go over to the maid.

He took a hold of your maid’s hair that was neatly tied into a bun and yanked it forwards, earning a yelp of pain from her. Now that she was closer, you could see that she also had marks of resistance, cuts that were bleeding and even old bruises. It made you feel like you could cry again.

Was this all because of you?

‘‘ Do you recognise her? ‘‘

You nodded; mind working overdrive to try and find a possible way he could’ve found out.

‘‘ The one who helped you escape, right? ‘‘ 

He tilted his head while looking down at her degradingly. 

‘‘ And does she know? ‘‘ he met your eyes, smirking and visibly enjoying your puzzled expression that then turned into a horrified realisation.

The maid kept her head down and you were thankful you didn’t have to meet her eyes as your husband continued his torture session.

‘‘ Does she know that all it takes for little y/n to catch feelings is...someone being nice to her? ‘‘ he scoffed ‘‘ So pitiful ‘‘

You felt your face burn in embarrassment, fresh tears threatening to spill at any moment.

‘‘ And an older woman at that ‘‘ 

You refused to meet any of their eyes. 

‘‘ Is it maybe to make up for the lack of love your mommy gave you? ‘‘ he smiled gleefully, not even trying to hide his sadistic emotions.

It was starting to feel painful and uncomfortable. You twisted - trying to in any way get away from the words hitting you, insulting you. The painful childhood memories that somehow Yeonjun had known was hitting every deep spot you had fought so hard to keep buried, and he knew this.

‘‘ But I feel betrayed, by both of you. So someone has to pay ‘‘ he added.

You immediately found his eyes again.

‘‘ Please! Don’t hurt her, just kill me instead! ‘‘ 

You didn’t know if you were begging for him to kill you for your sake more than the maid’s, because after all there’s no way you actually had feelings for her already, right?

You had laid awake every night since then thinking about her. Wondering if she was safe and happy but that must all be normal? She had helped you after all. Either way, there was no way Yeonjun was going to kill you, in the end it’s not the dead you should feel bad for and that are in pain, it’s the living.

Both the maid and you knew what was coming. You gave her a sad, apologetic smile and refused to let your true feelings show; even as the guard reached the second victim, plunging the sword deep into her heart and as her lifeless body hit the floor, you refused to cry. 

You knew that wasn’t what she would’ve wanted you to do anyway. She would’ve wanted you to get revenge and escape on both of your behalves. Just like that, the spark of hope inside came alive again.

No matter what, you had to go through with the plan the maid had told you about a week ago. That time she had approached you and told you about what was going to happen when you’d try to escape.

/

‘‘ They know you’re gonna escape soon. Everyone’s on high alert, even if they’re doing everything to not show it ‘‘ 

You blinked at her, caught off guard by her sudden appearance behind you. You hadn’t seen her since that time she told you about the plan.

A few other maids passed by and you smiled as to not draw attention to yourselves.

‘‘ How do they know? ‘‘ you whispered urgently.

The maid sighed.

‘‘ I overheard maids gossiping as I was cleaning one of the bathrooms a few days ago ‘‘

You sighed now too.

‘‘ Don’t worry. I know their whole plan, you just have to be the perfect actress and then after- when they’ve..killed me. That’s when you can go ‘‘

‘‘ W-what do you mean kill you? ‘‘

She gave you a sad smile, full of meaning.

‘‘ You have to let them kill me for this to work, just trust me please ‘‘ she pleaded, eyes glossy.

‘‘ Okay...I guess I have no other choice ‘‘ you answered after a few moments of hesitating ‘‘ I will trust you ‘‘.

/

As if on cue while you reminisced the memory - all of the guards, maids and even Yeonjun covered their yawning mouths, sudden sleepiness hitting them. It quickly escalated and they grabbed whatever was nearest to not plunge to the floor.

The maid’s plan had worked, the sleeping pills she had slipped into their drinks had worked.

Fresh tears streamed down freely down your cheeks now as you whispered a small ‘’ thank you ‘’ to her still body. Then you untied yourself and stood up. 

It didn’t take long for you to gather your stuff and finally be able to leave your personal hellhole. You opened the door cautiously as if you were expecting someone to be outside the front door ready to ambush you. 

But it was deserted, not even a gardener in sight. You stopped for a moment, having the time to do so as you had already called for a taxi; you just stood there, still and finally feeling at peace, breathing in the fresh air.

You weren’t sure how long the pills would last - the two of you had discussed the use of poison to really be sure they wouldn’t come after you but the maid insisted to use a non-killing option. She explained that he had way more people working for him, they would try to get their revenge by either killing you or getting you convicted, aka a life sentence is prison. So, you had to reluctantly agree. 

But for now, you weren’t too anxious with thoughts of them waking up and possibly finding you within a week because - At last, you were free.

-

a/n: thank u for reading, this is my longest fic yet! also plz don’t drink and write LMAO, this is how the first draft went, I hope it makes u laugh as much as it made me;

In all your years alive, you had never figured it out. You were quite sporitual, and believed rich peoplöe were people who had worked hard in the afteife to rarn points to reincarnatw to whatever they wanted to - yet it eas still a myserty, why, how . you did not posoess tthese questi0jsl

Perhaps the person havijng the riches didnät know himlsef, becausde he was arogant, delusional and enititled, tnining the whole world was supposed to be catered to him.

All he knew was that he wasn’t bu9lt for love. At leadt npt normal and healthy love. He only knew obsessions and extemes, that was how he was raisefd with absednt parents, always fowkring, Hr  knew rhat their faith would eventually ebefall his fown, he wouldnät gall in love the picak way - no, heäd faöö in lovde due to obsession, due to not being able to get whoever he desire whenver he desired it.

holyt shit i cans bareky see my screen hi w will

[crescencestudio]

hihi sorry to bother but i just wanna drop by and say i absolutely adored intertwine <3

van is the perfect boyfriend/husband and i died internally when we had that one life where our mc rejected him bc it just wasn't the right time for mc. i understood why but goddamn did it still hurt. i love the concept of the red string of fate, but it's always so heartbreaking when the things you want are just that little out of reach y'know?

moving on from the angst, there's almost something comforting in the way mc and van found each other in every life (or at the very least, the lives we've played through). it's the way they're always so inexplicably intertwined, (bc how many time can it happen before coincidences become fated) and the two will always, always meet, even if it doesn't always result in a happy end.

i think in the state of the world right now, i'm not the only one who feels 'alone'. during the lockdowns and everything, it's like the world and time have continued on, but we as humans have had almost 2 years of our lives stolen from us. i was barely 15 at the time the lockdowns started, and when i graduated college at 17, i don't think i've every truly felt that alone in all my life. maybe it's just me, but it's so... awkward(?) finding friends or meeting people now.

it's so relieving in a way to see van and mc, to see their love pass through hundreds maybe thousands of years of history and still recognize each other every time. i don't quite believe in reincarnation or anything like that, but it definitely gives me some peace of mind that maybe, just maybe, that someone loves me and we will find each other in this lifetime. and if not, we still have the next, don't we?

u r never a bother!! thank u for the sweet message, anon <333

i actually was surprised so many ppl were upset at the life that we reject van LMFAOSDIJFOIAWEJ IDK WHY I WAS SURPRISED.... by traditional otome standards, it's obviously a "bad ending" but i think my focus on self-love/independence was so high for that life that i didn't stop to realize ppl would see it as angsty or this bitter/sad event LOL

and i totally know what you mean. and i think a big part of intertwine for me is this idea of "connection." something that was important for me was to portray this idea that you dont have to Act a certain way, Speak a certain way, etc. to find love with Van. No matter what, you will find that connection. it's not something you have to find or work for, it's just something that Is. something that will naturally happen. and i think there's a lot of comfort in that idea, esp in a world right now that sometimes makes us feel like we have to Earn a human connection with someone

thank you for liking and playing, anon and for the sweet message <3

[thelargefrye]

YEARNING FOR YOU. kang yeosang (18+)

── summary. you’re just within reach and yet every time he tries to get to you, you vanish right before his eyes... again and again and again.

── roles. mage!yeosang + mage!f!reader (ft. poly!mage!ateez & other idols)

── genre. smut + one-shot + mages + magic shop + supernatural + mythology + historical to modern day + romance + eventual poly relationship + angst + drama + reincarnation (most of these are for the overall story not necessarily this one-shot)

── word count. 3.3k

── warnings. nightmares + language + sub!yeosang & dom!reader + kissing + little hair pulling + one moment of spanking + anal fingering + handjob + degrading + amazon position + y/n is mentioned to have tattoos 

── developer’s note. happy birthday @atiny-piratequeen​ !! this is just a small something that i’m working on that’s inspired by against the tide !! i figured that since i probably might not get the whole story done by your birthday bc i’ve already been working on it for two weeks and i’m only still doing world and backstory building rip then i would just share a small piece that included yeosang. i’m still working on characters and personalities so anything you read here is subject to change by the time i get the first official chapter out. 

when the door to the shop chimed, yeosang didn’t bother looking up from his book he was reading. he knew that usually customers – humans at least – would just look around before leaving or come up to mindlessly flirt with him. it was the same thing every time the bell dinged. 

he could hear the customer’s shoes, heels to be exact, softly thudding across the old wooden floors as they strolled around the small shop. his hearing could pick up where exactly in the shop they were, so when they finally started nearing the back to where he and register were, he assumed this customer just wanted to flirt with him like always. 

“um, excuse me,” yeosang’s head shot up immediately at the sound of the familiar voice. you stood in front of him also with a look of shock from how quickly yeosang moved and his eyes flickered down to the canvas in your arms. 

“o-oh, um, hi. how can i... how can i help you,” yeosang says as he tries his best to relax, but honestly he doesn’t think he can, not when you’re here in front of him and talking to him. 

you smile softly at him before handing over the canvas you had in your hands, “this is the painting hongjoong asked me to paint. he told me i could find him and the rest of you here. is he, um, is he here by any chance?”

“huh? oh, yeah is he, let me go get him!” yeosang had never moved so fast before as he practically jumped off his stool and ran to the back to get the group’s leader and tell him you’re here. 

“y/n’s here!” yeosang says probably a bit too loudly and maybe just a little too excitedly but he hasn’t seen you in centuries. he has a right to be happy to see his missing lover. 

hongjoong isn’t by himself in the back, all the others are basically here too, except for jongho and san who had gone out to get information on how to help you remember your first life.

“she is? why?” mingi asks, a look of shock drawn on his face knowing you’re here just in the other room. 

“she brought the painting hongjoong asked her to paint,” yeosang says and hongjoong is quick to go to the front and yeosang picks up on how hongjoong greets you with a cheery tone. 

at first yeosang thinks about staying in the back and letting you and hongjoong talk for a moment, but his need to see you again overcomes that he heads back to the front of the shop. he hears the others coming up behind him as he does and he figures the others couldn’t wait either. 

a wave of memories washes over him as he sees you and hongjoong interacting so closely. all the times he would see you and hongjoong interacting on the utopia, all the lingering stares and touches you thought no one else saw, but in reality everyone saw.

he misses you. they all miss you. 

“wow, y/n, this is beautiful,” hongjoong can’t take his eyes off the painting you gave him and you have a proud look on your face as your eyes flicker between the male and the painting before you slowly look up and over at where him and the others are. 

“oh, i didn’t know you all worked here as well!” you say and greeted them all with a smile. 

“i actually own this shop,” hongjoong says and you turn to look at him in shock. “my grandmother ran this shop before passing it down to me before she retired.” yeosang couldn’t help but slightly snicker at how hongjoong called hyuna a grandmother. 

“really? that’s so cool! i had actually never been in this shop before until today,” you offhandedly as you glance around the shop some more. “oh!” you say catching the six males off guard as they watched you dig through your bag before pulling out eight envelopes. “siyeon is throwing a party and wants me to invite you all!” you say handing each other an invitation before giving jongho and san’s to wooyoung. “i hope you all can make it!”

“of course! we’ll do our best to be there,” hongjoong says, but yeosang knows that all eight of them are definitely going especially since you’re going to be there. “also, thank you again for the painting, it really is beautiful.”

“oh, of course! i’m glad you like it, i always enjoy painting sea related stuff, so this was a blast to paint,” you explain with a small laugh. “well, i should be going! i promised siyeon i would help her with party decisions, so... i’ll see you all around,” you say bidding the males goodbye before turning on your heels and leaving the shop. 

yeah, yeosang and the other are gonna have to work fast.

𐂴𐂴𐂴

sometimes when yeosang misses you, he’ll find himself remembering the time when you all were together on the utopia. he’ll remember how you use to help him in the kitchen, acting as both a hand and taste-tester to him. 

all the heated gazes the two of you shared being the reason for his flushed face that he would blame on the heat in the kitchen when the others would question him. although he was sure the others didn’t believe because his magic dealt with fire, so some kitchen heat was nothing for him. 

but no matter what the same thought still comes to him. he just misses you. he thinks that over and over again until he falls asleep and you appear in his dreams. 

it’s silly he knows it, mainly using his magic in order to ensure that you appear to him. he has sweet dreams when you are with him and others all enjoying your time together; however, the moment he remembers that none of it is real and that you are living a completely different life without remembering them, without remembering him. it all turns into a nightmare. 

and its always the same. the same day he and the others are forced to remember and sometimes relive again and again for centuries. 

“yeosang, wake up!” 

his eyes snap open and he feels hot, his bangs matted to his forehead with sweat and his eyes are immediately trying to get used to the darkness of his bedroom.

that voice... he thinks as he brings his hands up to cover his face. huh? was he crying? 

“yeosang,” he hears it again and sounds so close to him. right next to him and he feels like he’s still dreaming. but he turns his head and his brown orbs meet your own worried eyes as you sit next to him in his bed. 

“y/n...?” he reaches out to touch your cheek, his hands caressing your face and he gasps when he realizes you’re real and next to him. 

“why are you crying, love?” you ask him watching as he sits up. you reach over to brush his tears away before he suddenly takes you in his arms. “did you have a bad dream, yeo?”

yeosang doesn’t trust his words so he just nods his head as he nuzzles his head into your neck. “it’s okay,” you say softly, rubbing his back in comfort, “i’m here and nothings going to happen while i’m here. i promise.”

yeosang has heard you say those words before and it only makes him cry harder. you said that to him the first time you woke him up from a nightmare. you would always take him into your arms and hold him and wipe away his tears and tell him it’s okay and it’s all in the past. 

when yeosang does finally calm down, tears no longer running down his face, he slowly pulls away from you to lay back down. you lay down right next to him, pulling the blanket up to your chins as you brush hair away from his face. 

“i love you,” he says as he feels himself slowly falling back to sleep. you smile sadly at him, a hand still running through his hair as his eyes finally close. 

𐂴𐂴𐂴 

seonghwa was jealous, yeosang was 100% sure of that. the ice mage’s glare could probably set someone ablaze if he had fire magic instead. and honestly, yeosang doesn’t blame his boyfriend for being jealous because he was as well. 

“and who the hell is that?” wooyoung was the one who spoke up, shocked like seonghwa and himself at the sight of you talking to this unknown male. 

well, unknown to them at least. you seemed to be pretty close to the male, too close if yeosang or any of the others could say anything. 

“do you think they’re...” mingi didn’t want to say it out loud, probably knowing how much chaos he would cause among them if he did. 

yeosang wanted to be upset. upset at you for potentially going and falling in love with someone that isn’t them, but he couldn’t. he couldn’t be upset at you because this you, the one standing not too far from him and his seven lovers, this you isn’t the same you he met all those centuries ago. 

you don’t remember the love you shared and it broke yeosang’s heart. 

his eyes flickered over to seonghwa noticing the furrow in his eyebrows before he looks over to hongjoong who is just staring at you with sadness. then his eyes go back to you and this male who are sitting closely next to each other. the guy looks at you with such a softness that it reminds the fire mage of how seonghwa looks at all of them, with love. 

the male plays with the ends of your hair, running it over your face in a teasing manner that makes you laugh and yeosang would be lying if he said your laugh didn’t make his heart flutter. 

yeosang misses you.

𐂴𐂴𐂴

yeosang can’t help but sigh as soon as his body hit his bedsheets. he felt clean and relaxed after a long day of working in the shop below them and dealing with both humans and supernatural creatures alike. 

while he was staring up at the ceiling, he closed his eyes and started to doze off. he’s not sure for how long his eyes were closed, but he only opens them when he feels his bed dip. 

looking over he was greeted by the sight of you in little to no clothing and a warm smile on your face. 

“y/n, what are you doing?” yeosang was more than surprised to see you in his room. he was quick to sit up with a shocked expression as he moved so he was sitting right across from you. 

“what do you mean, yeo? i’m visiting you of course!” you say cheerfully. 

yeosang looked over you and he noticed the familiar tattoos that decorated your right arm. “you’re not real, are you?” he asked as he bowed his head so you couldn’t see his face. 

one of your fingers reached under to tilt his chin up and you looked at him with a gaze, “i’m as real as you want me to be,” you say with a smile as you leaned over and kissed him. 

yeosang immediately allowed you to take the lead. your lips guiding his as you ran a hand threw his hair and gently tugged on it causing yeosang to moan into your mouth as your tongue explored his mouth and while also teasingly play with his own wet muscle. 

yeosang was melting into the kiss, his hands coming up to your waist to pull you closer to him with your chest flushed tightly against his. when you pulled away from the kiss, yeosang tried to follow after your lips making you let out a small laugh at how cute he was acting. 

yeosang only looked at you with slightly dazed eyes, still not fully believing you are here in front of him which allowed you to push at his shoulders, making him fall on his back and into the softness of the bed. 

“y/n... please,” he whines as you hover over him slightly, both your hands caging his head to the bed as you look down at him. 

“what yeo? what do you want me to do?” you ask with a teasing smile, god, he hasn’t seen this smile in centuries. 

“p-please, please fuck me,” he chokes out and your smile turns into a grin as you trail your finger down the center of his body before it stops at the towel he still had wrapped around his waist. 

“want me to take it off?” he nods without hesitation, “words.”

“yes!” and the towel was unwrapped from his hips and now he was completely bare to you. his cock was only semi-hard when you removed the towel and yeosang watched as your fingers ghosted over the tip, just barely grazing it. “please touch me, don’t tease me,” he begs and you hum before wrapping your hand around his cock and slowly began stroking it until it was fully hard and an angry red, his pre-cum only just slowly starting to appear at his tip. 

he let out a string of whines and curses as you began moving your hand suddenly at a fast pace without warning. yeosang’s back arched off the bed, but your free hand came down to hold him still to the bed before you suddenly stop stroking him. 

yeosang watches you as you move in between his legs before grabbing the underside of his thighs, giving them a good squeeze before hoisting them up to his chest. when you let go of his legs, yeosang immediately went to hold them in place as his face was flushed a bright red. 

you cooed at him as you leaned over his bent body and kissed him before pulling away to look at his ass that was now on full display for you. his hole tight and pink as you played with it, wiggling just the tip of your index into him before pulling out. 

“you’re so tight yeo, does none our boys fuck you open enough?” yeosang moaned at the degrading tone you had laced in your voice. “that’s okay though,” you begin adding a firm smack to both his asscheeks, “i can just fuck you open myself.”

yeosang wanted to come with there and then at your words, but he only settled for letting out a few moans instead. he knew the minute he came then it would all be over. he watched you quickly stand up and go over to his bedside table and dug through the draw before pulling out a bottle of lube. 

yeosang watched as you squeezed the clear liquid substance into your palm before he felt you apply it to his hole. he moaned at the cold feeling it gave him as you rubbed it around his puckered hole before applying more to your fingers. fuck, he couldn’t hold his excitement as he felt your index probe at him before slowly slipping inside him. 

“f-fuck– oh god, please!” he moaned out, throwing his head back as you eased him open. your movements were slow, almost too slow as if you were messing with him and he looked over to meet your eyes. 

when you finally entered a second finger he felt his eye roll back as you started to pick up the pace a bit in your thrusting. yeosang let out a broken fuck as you slowly started hitting his prostate before grabbing his dick with your free hand and stroked him in time to your fingers thrusting in and out of him. 

“does that feel good?” you ask and yeosang can only nod as his head fell back onto the bed. you frown at his nonverbal response and quickly stop both your hands making his whine as you remove your finger from him. “i asked a question yeosang, so answer it,” your voice sent a chill down his back as if it was seonghwa speaking to him. 

“it does, it feels good,” he says, face burning red, “b-but...”

“but what? what do you want?” 

“please, let m-me... let me be inside you,” he says and you coo once more at him before you lean over him once more. your nose brushing his from how close you are. 

“do you deserve to be inside me? you may have a nice dick, but do you think you can use it to pleasure me?” you ask, raising an eyebrow and yeosang felt his dick twitch from between the two of you at you questioning tone. 

“p-please, y/n, please u-use me to pleasure you,” he says out of breath and you let out a small laugh as you sat up and slowly grind down on his dick. the fabric of your underwear slightly damp from your growing wetness and causes yeosang to moan at knowing how close he was actual to you. 

“do the others know how much of slut you are?” you ask with a small laugh, “i’m sure they know how much you like to be used. hm, don’t they?”

“t-they do,” yeosang stutters out as he watches you move off of him to take your underwear off and he feels a chill run down his spine as you hover back on top of him to take his dick in your hand a position it at your entrance. 

“is this what you want?”

“y-yes!” you smile as you sink down on his length with a moan. yeosang lets his mouth drop open as you start to bounce on his length, the sound of your skin meeting his joining the sound of his and your moans. 

“f-fuck, yeosang!” you moan as yeosang takes you all in. his eyes fall on your chest which was still covered and he lets his legs go for a moment in order to unclasp your bra. you take your bra off and throw to the side now allowing yeosang the ability to see you completely bare now. 

god, how he missed this sight and he was glad you were using his legs as support for yourself because this allowed him to roam his hands over your body.  

getting lost in his pleasure he accidentally thrusted up making you glare at him before stopping, “toys don’t move, so still or i won’t let you cum,” you say and yeosang nods letting out a quiet y-yes before you continued between bouncing and moving your hips in figure-eights. 

yeosang felt himself grow closer to his orgasm and you clenching around him doing nothing but bringing him closer. “i-i’m c-close! please y-y/n! let me–

he own choked moan cut him off as he felt you clench around him as you came with a loud moan and a whimper of his name. you coming was enough to finally send yeosang over the edge as he took in the sight of you climaxing, knowing you used him to reach your own pleasure. 

it took you a moment before you slid off of him and next to him. you were quick to get him to put his legs down which felt a little sore from the position he held for so long. 

while he caught his breath he felt you reach over and press different kisses all over his face making him smile. you pressed a final kiss to his lips before cleaning him up and helping him under the covers. 

“i love you, y/n, please don’t disappear,” he says as you hold him close to you under the covers of his bed. you remained silent, only slowly running a hand through his hair and lulling him to sleep.

eventually, yeosang closed his eyes welcoming sleep as he fell asleep in your arms. 

when he woke up the next morning he was greeted by an empty bed and yeosang can’t tell if what he experienced last night with you was even real or just a dream. with a sigh, he gets up and starts to get dressed before heading out of his room and to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for himself and the others.

“i love you, too.”

[synchlora]

pspsps spare karl hcs? 👀

YESS hell yeah !!! sorry i did not see this earlier jxascjjcsvksjcskv. gonna try and split it up so it somewhat makes sense

interdimensional form:

this is his normal form

he is literally not from this dimension, god knows where he's from honestly

this form is difficult to describe bc the laws of his dimension don't apply here so he kinda constantly appears to be shifting in ways that don't make sense to anyone seeing him

but he is generally about 9 to 11 ft tall, various bright neon colors, and always seems to have energy (maybe electric but almost appearing magical as well) crackling off of him

can't really express much human-like emotions in this form bc his face doesn't allow for it (technically he doesn't have a face, what u see is something he has projected in order to mimic human emotions and show how he is feeling)

still feels these emotions, they're just hard to express in ways that humans would understand

travelled a lot through dimensions and timelines within those dimensions

ended up overexerting his abilities and crash landed in the dream smp's dimension (this is where his portal is currently and he hasn't tried to move it yet)

can no longer leave that dimension, though he can still time travel throughout it

sapnap was one of the first people he met after crashing and, while he was shifted into human!karl form, he was still very unstable and it was quite obvious he wasn't entirely human

fast forward a lot of time, but i like to imagine that he does eventually show both sap and q this form, though he was very afraid they wouldn't love him

but ofc they still do

these fuckers love their 10 ft tall interdimensional being of a boyfriend

shapeshifting & "possession":

karl can shift to other forms in order to hide his actual appearance

one of those main forms is human!karl, which is what we see most of the time and how most people on the smp know him to appear

this form is difficult for him to maintain but it is manageable

but because he is losing his memory often, he slips up on the details occasionally (hence the inverted spiral hoodie a few weeks back)

it is a very cramped form because he is fitting ~10' tall of weird energy that should rly not be confined to a ~5'10 human form

but he feels obligated to continue to keep himself in this form because he genuinely doesn't want to scare off any of his friends or god forbid his fiances

possession on the other hand is a whole different ballgame

i hinted at this in an older drawing but he can basically possess people in a way

we see it in the lost city of mizu where he basically becomes the person known as issac

i imagine this works similar to the stranger in tma where he becomes the person and those around him still believe they are the same

not quite as sinister as that though because while he does take over their body, their thoughts and beliefs and decisions are still based upon who the person was

so like. karl becomes the person in a way because he acts how that person would have

he gains all of who they were while still managing to maintain his own self as well

which is why it can be very taxing and extremely dangerous for his memory

because he essentially became this person for a while, he ends up garbling his memories up with those of the people he posesses

normally, he can de-possess people and they will have those memories of what happened while they were possessed but it'll just be a little foggy to them

but obviously that did not happen with issac which leads to the next point

death:

this is the interesting part because he has gotten killed multiple times now during tales from the smp

i think that when he got killed while possessing issac in mizu, he basically left his body and scrambled to escape through the portal before any really bad consequences happened

because he had to leave so suddenly, he ended up losing a good portion of his memory there because he wasn't able to smoothly transition out of possessing someone and back into his home form

his intention was never to get issac killed and he still feels incredibly guilty over his and the other fishemens' deaths

when he was killed in the masquerade, i don't think he was possessing anyone (considering his appearance and name) which is interesting

but we also don't see him actually die which makes me think he teleported out through his portal before he was killed

either that or the in-between is a place where he goes when he "dies" during travel and has to recuperate

it's hard to tell because we don't really know at this point and i have a feeling canon will very quickly disprove this ahvishcksgkcs

to me, i think the in-between is either where he goes when something very bad happens during his travels or it is just generally an in-between dimension he travels through in order to make it to another dimension

his husbands and recurring characters:

this is basically just me being sad but i believe that karl recognizes people through his travels who act/appear like his husbands and friends

i have two theories here so bear with me

first theory is that he meets their ancestors / descendents or even what's considered reincarnations perhaps and recognizes them as such

this one's a little more realistic whereas the next one is more sad

second theory is that karl is slipping so badly in his memory that it seems like he is seeing the same people over and over as various different people

so for example, maybe james from the masquerade reminded him slightly of sapnap so he ended up seeing/hearing him like sapnap

and this is where it gets fuckin sad because, in the end, these people don't know him

he may trust james like he trusts sapnap (though it's hard for him to remember who that even is anymore) but james doesn't know him at all

but seeing these people die is so intensely emotional for him, yet he doesn't fully understand why he feels so attached to someone he met less than an hour prior

anyway that is all bc i don't want to make this ungodly long ajfgksjcgskc so here u go !!

[cerinamroths]

Nirvana in Fire 2 Thoughts

The strongest quality of NIF2 is the emotional resonance it gives to the audience as it focuses more on the characters/family and less about the intricacies of the schemes and politics. Whereas I didn’t feel as much in NIF until its ending, I felt and cried so much throughout NIF2. Also “The Wind Blows in Changlin”?? More like a fucking tornado storms through Changlin!!!

Let’s start with how the one sentence google summary of NIF2 is a terrible spoiler! The description basically summarizes eps. 1-37! It states “Xiao Pingjing finally succumbs to the grief caused by the death of his brother and his father, and he leaves the capital to return to Langya Pavilion.” 

This kind of ruined it for me, bc I expected their deaths from the first few episodes & then I just waited for them to die... and then every happy scene of them just made me sadder knowing what’s to come... It’s like reading about Game of Thrones with a description “The remaining Stark family learns to play the game as the oldest son & father perishes...” LIKE WHAT EVEN

The OST is beautifully heartwrenching! My favorite one so far - I’ve been listening to it between watching and driving to/from work.

The OTP of this series IS Pingzhang and Qianxue. Sure, Lin Xi & Pingjing are fated and cute, but we didn’t get enough moments between them. You see PZ & QX teasing each other, supporting each other, respectively doing their duties, going to battle together, being intimate as much as one can be in a cdrama, etc. I’m sad they had to end but at least she did have a son and we got a happy ending through Lin Xi & Pingjing.

Speaking of that ending, I am so happy for Pingjing. When it comes to responsibilities, especially in that time period, one cannot be so lucky... but to have those military achievements and honor of defending His Majesty and then being free of responsibilities & duties to go live out the rest of your life with your love is the best gift one could ask for. It kind of makes you thankful that Minister Xun succeeded in dismantling the Changlin army...

In asian culture where one has to be successful, especially if there is a family legacy, I really admired Tingsheng for imparting that final advice to Pingjing - saying he doesn’t need to continue with Changlin or to be what PZ and TS was in the past... but to live his own life. 

Maybe it makes for a better story, but I was utterly pissed off at Minister Xun & The Empress! I rather have someone with committed evil intentions (like Marquis Xie & Yuanqui) than someone with misguided intentions. The only reason why they dismantled the Changlin family was to thwart them from possible evil future crimes!!! URGH. I do understand though, and the show makes sure to highlight it throughout, especially at the end in the last conversation between General Yue and Pingjing.

I really hated Puyang Ying... but that just shows how much of a threat he was! If he had grander plans than just taking revenge for the plague, he could have been as calculating as Mei Changsu. I really feel bad for his disciples not knowing he stole his king’s seal & tricking everyone to commit evil actions. And Yuanqi... I clearly see why he did what he did, but those moments in the earlier episodes when you see Yuanqi contemplate his morals... URGH he could have been so good! Poor fucking Anru! ): I’m surprised Marquis Mozi didn’t make appear at the end but that’s most definitely a future problem.

I can’t believe they used the actress for Xia Dong in NIF to be Madam Qi from Donghai in NIF2!!! Also holy fucking shit when Yuanqi burned her alive!!!

Pingzhang was the best male character of the series - he was the embodiment of a powerful warrior, intelligent mind, responsible-but-can-have-fun personality... the love for his family especially finding out he was adopted & saving his brother’s life was just so amazing!!!! 

Feizhan was the second best male character. He has such an unbreakable moral foundation. Now that is an example you can pit against Yuanqi... he will still make the right choices even if his family is in the wrong. Poor him for being in love with Qianxue! Bc in that life and in any other reincarnated life, it’s going to be PZ & QX buddy... unless AU OT3?! But anyways, how can you not admire his steadfast and resolute moral outlook!?

Pingjing grew on me throughout the drama. I understand that main characters must have flaws to overcome in a story, but he was really annoying in the beginning. Smart, but stupid with Lin Xi! He was so impulsive with court matters, that I wanted to facepalm & cringe so hard. But when he really had to grow up... man the change! ): 

My favorite moment is when the disbanded Changlin army reunites and is ready to go to battle for Pingjing to save His Majesty.

The battle at the Northern Border with the solar eclipse was also epic!!! I haven’t watched many Chinese Movies/Dramas, but it felt semi-reminiscent of Red Cliff and it made me yearn for more battle scenes.

From ep. 38 and on, I really like the plot they give to the side characters of Pei-er, General Yue, and his subordinate Tan Heng.

Little Emperor - ngl, my favorite moment was when he ordered to kill Yuanqi! Like YES, DIE YUANQI. But also I really enjoyed his relationship with Pingjing. That ending quote though took my heart:

“Older brother Pingjing, no matter where you will be from now on, do not forget your old friend here in Jinling. You must frequently write him back." 

I love the callbacks to NIF and those scenes made me so emotional especially when Tingsheng reminisced about Mei Changsu & his father Jingyan! Also wtf happened to Fei Liu! I’m annoyed that Commander Meng didn’t spend as much time teaching Qianxue & focused on the boys instead... especially when fucking Princess Nihuang led the entire Mu army and protected the southern border. It was nice to have Pingjing & His Majesty escape through the tunnel between Changlin Manor (aka Prince Jing’s Manor) and Sir Su’s residence!!!

There are barely any fics for NIF2!!! I really with for a time travel fic where maybe the NIF2 characters meet NIF1... or NIF1 characters come to the future and help Changlin Manor and let the world know what’s up (imagine Mei Changsu scoffing at Minister Xun & The Empress). Or even PJ going back to the start of the drama, showing how much he’s grown to his father and elder brother. Some fluff between PZ & QX and PJ & LX. 

Also with both NIF & NIF2, thank goodness Langya Court isn’t evil lol... because they are certainly biased!

Ending with a shot of Ce’er waving goodbye (so cute!). Hoping to start The Legend of Fuyao or The Rise of Phoenixes next. 

[magical-agatha]

got tagged by @night-dark-woods , hiya lol. ty for the like, thing to do lol. im supposed to tag 9 more ppl i want to get to know better but im only gonna tag a few. @maplespicetransgirl @draciallia @kobold-lesbian @y2k-lesbian

1. top 3 ships: uhhhhhhhh, im gonna say currently rather than all time, glimmer x adora x catra, idk lol its a cute idea and theres a bunch of cute art of them together lol. ive been rly enjoying my next life as a villainess, the mc, catarina, doesnt realise she has at least 2 girls in love with her with a 3rd on the way. i wish i could believe it will resolve in polyamory but. maybe we'll at least see her get a gf. bc. its been very blatant about her friends being in love with her. one of them, mary, has been in love with her for years and is trying to sabotage anyone else falling in love with her, and the other, wont say who bc spoiler, is her reincarnated best friend (its an isekai show) but doesn't realise it, and in the last episode some magic made her speak without inhibitions, and the first thing she does is tell catarina she loves her in like, the romantic way. so you know, fingers crossed. other than thaaaaaat... uhhhhh.... oh i guess poppy and barb from trolls 2. i like that movie. wish it was as gay as it clearly wants to be. also i need to keep watching rwby, ruby/weiss/penny is rly cute.

2. last movie i watched: i watched. half. of osmosis jones with friends earlier today. very gross movie. last complete movie was probably the cgi tintin movie..?? good but idk. before that was trolls 2, for the 2nd time. those movies are great.

3. last book i read: i cant read. well i have adhd so i dont read much anymore. i miss novels but i do listen to audiobooks. currently listening to interesting times by terry pratchett with my gf. last physical book i read was uncaged vol 1, a book of queer dnd adventures with a focus on like, uhhh, monstrous women iirc. its good. def recommend. havent read the whole thing tho.

4. food im currently craving: idk how to answer this lol. i could rly fuck with some mcdonalds or burger king. anything salty spicy and deep fried.. im a glutton and i have sensory issues with food. i tend to eat mostly comfortable or safe foods with good textures and tastes. anything outside my comfort zone usually bad stims me, which is like. horrendous. it makes food hard but also like. good food is rapturous. i like stir fry a lot. my gf cooks stir fry a lot and i always love it. and i like putting condiments on things. bbq sauce, soy sauce, and like, if i can get it theres this rly good peri peri salt they sell at nandos. god i love salt and spicy things. i had a korean burger once that was so spicy i couldnt finish it in one sitting and god i want another. it had a black bun and the chicken was bright red with spices, it was great i miss it. theres this spicy burger mcdonalds did once that had like. battered and deep fried jalapenos on it and spicy salsa and chicken and it was godly. oh and the spicy shaker fries. miss those. dream burger would be something like, korean spicy chicken with some kind of sweet tangy spicy sauce, battered jalapenos, bacon, salad, and a hashbrown coated in some kind of spicy salt. i used to like subway a lot but idk now. i also love donuts. and pastries. and oranges and citrus fruit in general. pears are great too. im not usually into like, candy or chocolate tho its too sweet. oh i love chinese food. noodles and rice and meat and vegetables and sauces, all packed with flavour and amazing textures... chinese food is so good. sushi and japanese food in general tends to be my jam too. most things with rice are rly good. not curries tho i cant eat many curries, i like butter chicken tho thats always good. i could keep going lol i love food. oh turkish food is good. and greek? lots of good meats. tho i cant deal with uhhh... tabouli, parsley kills me on contact idk. and cilantro. but i love souvlakis those are great. pasta is alright, i like tortellini and ravioli and gnocchi with lots of cheese. oh and pizza. with everything on it. especially anchovies. i love anchovies and olives and feta... and pepperoni... and garlic bread. cured meats in general are very good. root vegetables too. capsicum and chillis are yummmmm. im sure i could go on... food is. so good. its euphoric. oh i love ramen too! and uhhh, ramyun i think its called?? i think its korean? its spicy and very good. thicker noodles too. anyway i should stop this is too much lol.

ty for asking my opinion lol

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #263

laptop is still broken, nvm. :’)

Do you have a favorite song by The Cure? "Sweet Soul Sister." (': Are there things you've never told for fear that others would judge you? Yep. Can sex ever be casual? I personally don't support it, but ultimately, so long it's consensual, protected, and both parties understand what's going on, you do you. Would you like to go on television to receive a make-over? Not on TV, no. It'd be awesome to see myself after a professional makeup, but I ain't going on TV to show my ugly face. What will no one ever see you do? Smoking. Are you quick to anger? Rarely. Are you slow to forgive? Not really. Usually. What do you need help with? Being an adult, lmao. Do you take the easy way out of things? More often than I'd like... What is your favorite fabric to wear? *shrugs* I don't pay attention to the fabric I wear, really. Do you still make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles? C'mon dude, you've got to! I don't believe in wishes increasing your odds of anything, but it's a must anyway! Do you look for four leaf clovers? Just casually when I'm walking or sitting outside. What are you the guardian of? My pets! Are you for or against censoring child pornography? I've seen many stupid questions in surveys. But this is the absolute dumbest. What the fuck is wrong with you. Are naked child images in paintings more acceptable than photographs of naked children? GENERALLY, yes, but it really depends on the artistic portrayal. None should be sexualized. Now that we can create such lifelike digital images, do you think it should be allowed for digital child pornography to exist (as in there were no children involved in the porn, it is all digitally made, the kids aren't real, they just look real)? Absofuckinglutely not. The concept is absolutely repulsive. Enough with these fucking questions. Do you like Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy better? Wheel of Fortune, ig. Jeopardy is pretty boring to me. What is your favorite tarot deck? I don’t know enough about tarots to comment. How do you feel about Wicca and Paganism? IT'S SUPER SUPER INTERESTING AND COOL AND I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT IT!!!! I relate most to Neo-Paganism anyway, so I obviously don't mind them. Wicca especially is a very, very misconstrued religion that has just been horribly abused by the media. Do you believe that people who practise the above religions are able to accomplish magic? No, I don't. If you were given the opportunity to lead a creative writing program for a small group of students in a high school with a low budget in generally poor neighborhood, would you do it? No, but only because I could never been a teacher. Sounds fun otherwise. Should high school cafeterias stop serving twinkies and other fatty foods? BIIIIITCH whose HS sells Twinkies????? I need to know?????? Anyway, no, but I believe there must be mostly actually nutritional options. Let kids have the chance to have a little snack during a boring 'ole school day. What band is so romantic that anyone who listens to them must be romantic at heart? BOY Josh Groban. Have your gods and idols let you down? The Christian god did. What do you waste? Whew... time... time. When was the last time that you were neither going to school or working for a month or more? Currently. Ugh. What is your light at the end of the tunnel? The potential of a beautiful future. Speaking of the light, is the light that people see when they die the random firing of electrons or is it something more? Good question. I lean towards it being a natural phenomenon as everything shuts down, BUT I find the reincarnation/birth canal theory to be quite interesting. I don't really believe it, but hey, who the hell am I to decide if it is or not. If you were going to have a mural painted in your bed room what would you want it to be of? A scene of meerkats probably. Is sex more about fulfilling a need or giving yourself? Giving yourself. Do you like your belly? FUCK NO. Do you think more or act more? Think, sadly. Should there be a mandatory retirement age? Of course not. You work all you want boo. What's the craziest thing you've ever done on impulse that worked out well? This is gonna sound... very bad, but my suicide attempt. It made things abundantly clear I needed serious help. It led to my partial hospitalization program. Do you have any exercise tapes or DVDs? No but OH MY GOD this made me remember my lil sister used to a Barbie one that we followed lmaoooo. Does the sound of crickets bother you? No, I quite enjoy it actually. Is the sound of a fan on at night soothing? Yessss. How do you feel you will likely die? I really don't know, but probably cancer-related. Recent events have made it abundantly clear it does in fact run in our family, and genetic testing because of Mom's cancer revealed that at least through her, my sisters and I are susceptible to pancreatic, breast, and ovarian cancer. Once this virus passes over, we're all getting tested for free to get an understanding of what hell Dad gave us lmao. Have you ever been slapped in the face? No. How about punched? Yeesh, no. That was something unique about you as a child? I was CRAZY about dinos for the average little girl. Have you ever come up with a memorable quote? Not really. What is something interesting about where you live? The town is like, really, really old. Downtown looks right out of an old movie. Were you breastfed as a baby? Yeah. If you’ve lost your virginity, what was your first time like? I don't remember it because it didn't really register what we were doing was sex. I still don't know today if you could call it sex since it was really dry humping through thin clothes, but it sounds close enough. What do you think about masturbation? You do you boo. Is it sometimes better than the real thing? I don't think so, though I only had a brief episode where I did it when I was put on a new birth control that made my hormones like so, so far beyond control. I stopped that shit sooo fast. I got almost nothing out of it, honestly. Intimacy is a two-person job for me. Who do you think about most? Jason, whether I want to or not. Favorite way to pamper yourself? Go to bed early lol. What's your most expensive piece of clothing? I don't have a clue. I don't really have expensive stuff. What was your last big achievement? Ugh... I'm not the person to ask. I haven't made any big ones even semi-recently. Have you ever had a "false alarm" moment, what was it about? Oh sure. The first time that comes to mind was when I thought Venus was dying once when she had a series of horrible coughing/gagging fits a long time ago. We took her to the vet with the risk of a respiratory infection, but she was clear, thankfully. I think she had early signs, though. Do you know how to ride a bike? Ye. If you were in the hospital who are the two people you'd want by your side? Mom of course, and it'd be nice if Sara was there if she was at all capable of that, but I'm fine w/ just Mom. If you could ever take a street sign, what sign do you want? Well, I wouldn't, but probably "stop" bc that applies to a lot in my life, lmao. Have you ever not returned something you borrowed and if so what was it? I don't think so? When you pack your lunch, what's your favorite packed lunch? Usually just a good 'ole pb&j. :') What was the one most important thing you learned from your parents? Take care of your goddamn relationship. Talk shit out instead of yelling. Work together. Never neglect the reason you're with each other. Have you done something you worry could come back to haunt you, what? No, because I don't believe in karma. If you had to build a small ark, what 7 animals would you save? Those with the biggest ecological impact, like bees and spiders, for example. I wouldn't be very happy with all my choices while all other animals perished, but you've gotta think of what comes next. Out of just selfishness I'd obviously have to spare a spot for meerkats, aha. They'd help with the bug control, though! I don't know about the other four, though; I'd have to think real hard on 'em. What is something your parents love that you actually love too? Classic rock and metal. Has anyone ever said "I love you" and you couldn't say it back? I firmly remember this is how I ended that childish shit with Joel. He said it and I couldn't. Have you ever ridden a camel? No. What's been the hardest loss you've had to take? Jason. What emotion is your least favorite and the one you are not in touch with? Fear, of course. No one likes being afraid. I'm not all that in touch with greed at all. Do you think facial moles or freckles are cute? I don’t mind 'em. Sometimes they're super-duper cute. Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I don't trust strangers for shit. If you're searching for a relationship, where is your go-to place to look? I don't really "look" anywhere. What book have you read multiple times? I lost count of how many times I've read Meerkat Manor: Flower of the Kalahari. Granted, in subsequent reads, I would skip over the HUGE tangent chunks that were entirely unrelated to meerkats. I seriously remember one long-ass section was like a goddamn essay on why smaller animals tend to have unnaturally large testicles like I don't fucking care talk about Flower again. I think I only decided to read it in full two times, but maybe not even that. Do you keep a budget? I don't have the income to do so. Have you ever test driven a car you knew you weren't going to buy? No, never test-drove anything. What do you have a hard time visualizing? There's a number of things, but this one thing is weird shit: I can't picture my old therapist. Even when I saw her every month, I could almost NEVER visualize her in my head. She's a fucking cryptid or something, paranormal shenanigans is going on here. She's the only person I know where I have that problem. What makes you feel uncomfortable in group settings? I worry I'll make myself look stupid in front of everyone. What was your worst date ever? I don't feel like I've really had a bad one. I've had one that did nooooot go according to plan and I know the average girl would've been annoyed, but I'm actually an understanding human being who found the adventure fun in the end. Basically a flat tire, a sketchy tire place, and a lot of walking happened lmao. Tyler felt fucking awful, felt bad for him. Have you ever gotten in a bidding war on Ebay, if so for what item? HAHA yeah, though it was technically Mom, but she had me keep an eye on it. I remember Parasite Eve took some battling to get. I think maybe a Legend of Spyro game, too? Are you supportive of your friends even if you don't agree with them? So long it's not literally insane or stupid, usually. It really does depend. What did you think was stupid until you tried it? Hm. I'm not sure. What subject do you and your parents never see eye to eye on? Religion. I keep most of my beliefs to myself now. Where do you see yourself in 1 year's time? Honestly, I don't want to ponder and picture this. What is your favorite type of seafood? I only like shrimp. What triggers your inner shopaholic? HA, do tattoos count? See cool ones, and then I'm planning (more than only always...) tons of new ones I want and will just be DYING (ALSO more than always lakdjfwe) to go to the parlor. What public figure do you disagree with the most? I really can't say considering I'm just not educated enough here. What is your opinion on rats as pets? They are absolutely wonderful! Smart, sweet, and very clean despite their stigma. I've had quite a few. What is something you're afraid to try? Sky diving, the Tower of Terror ride. ;___; That kinda stuff. What song makes you dance uncontrollably? None. Do you like nachos, if so what topping is a MUST have? Cheese is all I really need for nachos. Do you have any subscriptions? Yes, to Adobe Creative Cloud. Which is better, Mario or Sonic? Mario games are cute, Sonic's make me cringe - I've watched enough Game Grumps to know lmao. I hate hate hate cringe culture, like let people enjoy whatever, but I absolutely cannot stop my cringe reaction to some shit. I don't judge the people that enjoy whatever it is, though. THAT pisses me off. Who is the most creative person you know? I've known Sara and Connie much too long to not say them. They have such vast imaginations. Besides a pickle, what is your favorite thing pickled? I've actually never tried anything pickled, I think... no wait. Aren't jalapenos? Well there, jalapenos. What did you do for your 21st birthday? If not, 21 what are your plans? I had my normal therapy sessions in the mental hospital lmfao. It's unfortunate, but I do have fond memories of the day. Everyone was so damn sweet, and the friend I made there even got in touch with one of the lunch ladies, who literally went to go buy me a slice of cake. She and the other employees in the kitchen brought it out at dinner, and everyone sang happy birthday. I think I remember tearing up just because it was so goddamn sweet, but also bittersweet in that I was in a fucking mental institution for my BIGGEST birthday. When I got out, Colleen bought me a red velvet cake to "make up for it," ha ha. I miss her every now and then alsdkjf;wae. Are you a role model for anyone in your life? Oh, I doubt it. Do you think you need to slow down and enjoy life more? I don't need to go any fucking slower in my life. Can you impersonate anyone famous? I don't believe so. Never really tried anyone. What is your favorite salty snack? Spicy Cheetos mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM What is your favorite restaurant? Olive Garden for sit-down, Sonic for fast food. Have you ever been in a play for school? In elementary school. I never had a big roll, though. Do you wish you had more friends? Very much. What is the main character’s name in the book you’re reading? Aunt Lydia. Which famous author would you like to meet? I'm not particularly interested in any. Which artist would you like to meet? Hey hey hey. Mark's brother is a comic artist. Meet him, one step closer to meeting God Himself. (ง ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)ง Which singer would you like to meet? OZZY sobs What celebrity do you have a crush on? Anyone who's even heard about a hint of my Markiplier obsession knows I would fuck him into oblivion. When you were in middle school, were you in love with someone you never talked to? No, I didn't romantically love anyone. Do you believe that there is an unseen spirit realm? I do. Martini, margarita, or sangria? YO STOP I'm weak with these things. I can't pick. Do you feel you are extremely gifted but no one appreciates you? No. I honestly feel like people have more faith in what I'm capable of than deserved. What Lisa Frank character is your favourite? The angel cat, probably. Or tiger. Do you know how to use Braille? No. When you use stairs, do you usually hold the rail? Currently, I have to because of my muscle atrophy. I need help to stay steady. Have you ever worn a veil? No. Have you ever planted a tree? We actually did plant an apple tree in our front yard at my childhood home. Never grew much. Have you ever made anything with clay? A number of things from art classes. Has today been a good day? No, honestly. Have you ever fed a horse hay? Yes. Are you more likely to text "Okay", "OK" or just "K"? "'Okay.' The other two are restricted for when I am in a mood and want someone to know I am in a mood." <<<< HA HA SAME. Do you like the taste of lime? Sure. Have you ever seen a mime (in real life)? Not to my recollection. Have you ever seen a deer (in real life)? Plenty of times; whitetails are common here. Right now, what can you hear? "Game Over" by Falling In Reverse. Have you ever seen a bear (in real life)? In the zoo, yes. I think there's a possibility I have in the wild, but only from a distance? Have you ever eaten glue? No. Do you tend to buy clothes used or new? New. If you have Netflix, how many items are in your queue? N/A

[justkpopjokes]

Nice to Meet You, Angel. || Demon!Joshua

Ft. Joshua/Jisoo(s Chri—actually no, the complete opposite)

Anon: Demon Joshua���

A/N: This AU has gone through 4 whole plot rewrites rip. kinda inspired by Good Omens!! (also 2 aus in a week?? whaaaaaat)

!! This is a gender neutral!reader fluff with 1945 words~ !!

Before we begin the plot, lemme quickly go through the basics of the universe

yayy lin’s doing world building again

there are angels and demons in the universe, simply just the optional jobs of people’s souls once they die

if they choose this job, they don't remember much of their life on Earth, but they do remember events they associate w/strong emotions bc it helps them

for ex. an angel could remember how sad a death made them feel so they know to prevent it

and a demon can remember how angry a bully made them felt so they can make people that level angry

both angels & demons take the form of their bodies when they were alive and roam on Earth

they can also return to Heaven/Hell and observe Earth from their respective realms

also yes demons can be summoned, but lmao you can also just give em a phone call via incantation

the angel equivalent to this phone call is praying

demons can pretty much do anything as long as it relates somehow to the Seven Deadly Sins (pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, sloth)

angel powers are more holy/good, and they can grant things in prayers if they choose, etc

Anyway, YOU KNOW THIS BOI??

THiS bOi sHUa

he's chill af for a demon ok

one of the first demons so like no one really knows how he’s a demon bc he’s so polite

there’s some speculation that he was one of the first to fall but like

what the hell did he do???

But also some say he became a demon out of spite bc he saw a demon commit a “sin” that actually helped someone

so he became a demon just to help people in a more… unholy way

and then he was upset angels hated him just because he was a demon

like wow spirit discrimination

NOW YOU—

you are an angel (literally)

you’re the angel that protects like. atheists/"non-believers" bc c'mon just because they don’t believe in God/gods doesn’t mean they shouldn't have access to that protection service

(yes hello you’re calling APS, the Angel Protection Service sponsored by God, how may I help you?)

so yeah you’re pretty chill yourself since you have to constantly deal with people who don't believe in you lol

One fine day, you were listening to a prayer from a sick college student

ok it wasn't really a prayer but they were like "oh please, my god, let me get some sleep tonight"

you gladly put them to sleep and they slept soundly at night

when you checked on them the next morning, you noticed—

A dEmON?!?

…lying right next to the student (but above the covers, he has boundaries), who isn't stirring at all

if the leather jacket and ripped jeans didn't tip you off, he had some horns on his head to confirm ur suspicions

You: "Hey what in the world are you doing here?!"

???: "What? If they get up rn they won't be able to pay attention in class. I'm letting them rest first"

You: "Wha—who—okay, okay okay… who are you?"

"I’m Joshua, nice to meet you, angel"

Shua knows he has the name of an angel so afterwards he's like. Don't get it confused bish.

you ask him what he's doing, and basically, he's using the sin sloth on this sicko student so they stay in bed and recover instead of going to class

Even tho you feel iffy abt letting a demon affect a human right in front of you, an angel, you are a bit intrigued

you haven't seen a demon use their powers for good before…

who is this guy??

anyway he disappears, presumably to Hell, once the student needs to wake up

which is when u miracle them some bread to get

But don't worry, you're destined to meet again~

which you did, on several occasions

and ok maybe you were glad to talk to someone who was actually interesting

so, yknow,,, if another angel was like "hey y/n uhh there's a demon… bothering? someone? idk but it's a non-believer, that's ur jurisdiction right"

you had a guess on who this demon was…

…and you were right

Joshua: "Oh hey angel"

You: "Ew, you make it sound like a pet name"

JS: "Well I don't know your name, do I?"

You: "Oh. Right. It's Y/N."

he still calls you angel tho, smh that flirt

y'all just bicker and/or chat for a bit whenever u go help the same person

Like one time when he insisted that you let him use gluttony on a teen so they'd eat a lot of ice cream that day

they had just been through a bad break up so u let it slide

Or another time he used wrath on a timid kid so they could stand up to a bully

all of these ended w/you two bickering while walking away

There was this little girl you were watching from heaven who was writing a letter to "Whoever Can Do This"

little girl started listing a bunch of things, which you assumed were toys

but then you realized it was actually stuff like food, friends, a puppy, a loving dad who will go out to the park with her—

so u go down there to check on this lil child

…and that's when you see a familiar leather jacket watching over her and suggesting other things to write

you can’t see him from heaven so ur like gosh darn it I should’ve known

"Joshua?? I should've known it was—"

*cue both shua and the child turning around*

JS: "Oh hey, nice to see you, angel"

Lil' Nugget: *GASP* "Mr. Josh is this ur s/o???"

JS: "Hm? Oh, I mean, no, but um…"

You: "Josh what have u been putting into this one's head…"

Shua's all like "greed! Her dad's been ignoring her since her mom died so we're writing a list of things she wants"

then the smol girl smiles so wide and is like "Mr. Josh is helping me! He's my new friend!!"

ur like awww dangit ok I'll let it slide if u let me help

Once she finishes it, Josh hands the girl's list over to you

he explains quietly he wants you to miracle her dad to pay attention+love his daughter again so they can have/do all the other things on the list

you read it over again and do just that

The little girl gives the list to her father, your miracle allowing them to have a fun afternoon eating ice cream and playing with her toys

And you and Josh have a nice time too~

once y'all left that girl's room, he invited you for some soda

"Coke? I hope you mean Coca Cola"

"Yeah, uh, there's a place with a vending machine not too far from here. We can walk"

You don't spend time on Earth often, but you learn as you walk w/Josh that he "prefers the air up here"

mainly bc he doesn't fit in with the other demons, but he also just likes spending time with humans

(obviously tho he needs to go down to hell occasionally for like conferences and such)

you don't remember if you've ever been on a date before lol

Josh doesn't either, but he does remember how jumbled up ur emotions get, which he is not ready for

then again of course he has, I mean look at that charm

however, you can't remember if the feeling you get when going on ur little date with Shua is love :/

it isn’t really, but just bc this is ur first “date,” so it makes sense

But Josh makes sure to take you out again… for dinner!!!

you were investigating the use of lust and pride at the same time

of course, it was just Josh helping a guy find someone to hook up with

you were kinda disgusted and wanted to leave, so shua gladly took your arm and pulled you away to a restaurant!

y’all had a nice dinner, paying with some money Josh had collected

and then you went to walk together and chat some more

he’s breathtaking, and he actually wants to spend time with you despite y’all being on opposite sides of an inevitable war

You don’t care, going on more dates just to talk and not have to care about ur jobs and other stuff

Shua hears you yell “what the hell” at some point and he’s like woAH you can say that???

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not really polite, but I can. Can you say ‘Thank God?’”

“‘Thank God?’ Well look at that, I can. Good point”

you love him because he’s so chill and doesn’t give a f*** abt anything

except you and humans, apparently

like he could’ve burned or smth by saying “Thank God” or be confined to the basement of Hell for helping people/talking with you, but he doesn’t care lmao

However, no one really knows you’ve been talking with a demon tho so uhhh

when they do you get in a little bit of trouble w/the archangels

ur boss was essentially like “y/n what the HECK are you doing?!? you’re on thin ice rn”

you get mad at him, trying to defend Joshua

and you’re right in doing so, since he just wants to help people with a different set of powers

ur archangel boss sends you back down to Earth, saying you can’t return to Heaven until they work smth out

(they probably want to burn you with Hell fire)

You warn Josh, knowing they might burn you

he’s adamant on keeping you with him, so y’all try to hide or smth

which won’t work of course, but you can try, right?

right?

Shua and you sit together on a bench, with you leaning on his shoulder

“Joshua… I’m scared, I don’t want to be burned!”

“Don’t worry y/n, it’ll be okay. I love you, angel, nothing bad will happen”

and just like that, you remember what it feels like to love

“You’re right. I love you too. Help the non-believers for me if I go, alright?”

“I’ll help them just for you.”

Your archangel boss is smart, knowing the worst punishment for you is to be reincarnated without memories

you wouldn’t remember Joshua at all

and when he drags u back up to Heaven, you want to cry

do angels cry holy water? anyway

you’re sent back to Earth as a baby that can’t fend for itself

You remember nothing.

You’ve recently graduated from college and are out looking for a job

you’ve gotten rejected and fired so many times

for ex. just now, after you were arguing with someone who spoke another language that you didn’t know and there was no translator available

the customer wasn’t willing to cooperate either, ignoring your attempts to use an online translator smh

it’s late and you’re tired, so you leave, angry, and start coughing frantically when you inhale too much smoke coming from the alley next to you

naturally, you’re like “What the hell?! Dude, you’re not supposed to be smoking this close to an entrance!”

“Why do you care? You don’t work here anymore”

you take a better look at the stranger once he steps into the light of a nearby lamppost

it’s a dude in a leather jacket and ripped jeans who drops his cigarette

“Need help getting a job, y/n?”

“how do you—what—who are you?”

he extends a hand out to you, which you shake reluctantly

“I’m Joshua. Nice to meet you, angel.”

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Naruto Shippuden S20 (Pt. 4)

Hashirama’s “:O” face at everything is so endearing

Hagoromo is now really the time for a family story there are three children and a sad old man in need

“It was a few thousand years ago” Zetsu just said it was 1,000 years ago how bad are you guys at telling time 

I wonder how Hashirama feels about Madara being his Soulmate™

“I want make sure [the Tailed Beasts] don’t fight amongst each other, and that people don’t use their powers for evil” better 2 have tried and failed I guess 

“That’s because a toad’s dream is destiny” weird flex but ok

“So then, will everything I do now be meaningless?” “Don’t waste your time worrying” Ffgkjhfgkjh damn I didn’t ask for a lecture on fatalism in my Naruto liveblog

Lmao @ this dude revealing his thievery scheme after talking to Hagoromo for 0.5 seconds what makes him think everyone will be on board with it 

“I only want you to go away as soon as possible” ah looks like Hagoromo made a friend lmao 

“If we make it too sturdy, you’ll break your bones when you try to destroy it” they actually did a really good job of making Hagoromo charming like consider me charmed I wanna hear abt ur ninja way

Hahahah I admire Futami for not bringing up the horns for the entire length of time it took them to build the bridge 

Futami: Hagoromo-sensei gave me a high-five one time and it touched my heart so I formed a cult around him

Wait if Hagoromo only gave 8 disciples chakra are the nine of them together responsible for fathering all the shinobi world what kind of Gengis Khan fuckery

Minus the Hyuga, who, for some reason are moon aliens, I guess

“Throughout this long history men appeared, one after another, with the desire to use the tailed beasts for their own evil purposes. And that turned the tailed beasts against mankind. Anyway, back to my story.” Hahahaha did Hagoromo just go “(A/N: Fuck Obito and Madara lol)”

Unbelievable you’re telling me there was someone who wanted to get with this old man with horns and three eyes who leads a cult and you won’t show me WHO where is the justice 

OH HEY FUTAMI HELPING RAISE THE KIDS I GUESS? WILD

Mmmm I love Ashura already 1000/10 endearing impulsive baby

Some filler storyboard artist who I respect beyond reason: But what if... we added.... a dog

“It might even be bigger than yours” please don’t tell me they fished Zetsu out of the river

"I didn’t realize you thought so deeply about [chakra being used as a weapon]” “Yeah, well” “But then again, what will be, will be” what kind of parenting is this Hagoromo kjhgkjhgkjhg

Indra, 10 years old: I am concerned about the ethical impact of my innovation

Hagoromo: YOLO, son ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“I’ll be watching you” Is that the voice of......... Pubescent Zetsu 

LMAO IT IS

These kids are really emotionally unprepared for the boar considering they were following boar tracks into the woods 

ARE YOU SHITTING ME THEY EVEN USED THE SAME FILLER DOG NAME LMAO WHO IS WRITING THIS 

I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY KILLED THE DOG I’M SO MAD

Wow @ them having Indra invent chidori instead hkjhgkhg poor Kakashi

Indra awoke his sharingan over losing his dog I cannot believe this how are dogs the central plot device of multiple arcs

“Whatever is in this village belongs to everyone - that’s the law” wow along with fatalism this arc is also teaching us about the practical failings of communism 

“The law is still the law” where’s the post that says Sasuke is ethnically a cop. Because that’s this arc

Not 2 be that gal again but Indra’s voice is also nice on the ears he has inherited his grandmother’s kekkei genkai of having an attractive voice and a terrible moral compass

...............kekkei grandma 

“Looking into his eyes reminds me of my mother’s eyes” I was kind of joking about the kekkei grandma thing but fair

“At that moment I felt that I understood for the first time why heaven had blessed me with two sons” have you ever considered your eldest son is mean in part because you make comments like this 

“What will the two of you do when you are out in the world alone” wow Hagoromo is giving his kids some kind of High-Stakes Bell Test 

Hahaha I like Taizo I hope they don’t do anything to him but they probably will because he’s had so much screen time

HAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS SQUAD it’s the first ninja team and the boy is the healer!!!

Ashura: OH NO I’VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO GENJUTSU

Kanna and Taizo: WE GOT U BUDDY WE GOT BATS

I thought I was going bananas for a sec but the intro did change lol 

Poor Tenzo I think he’s been officially discarded from OPs RIP

Side note: Having a Naruto blog has made me so wary of Kakashi and Sakura standing next to each other I don’t trust the ppl on this website to be normal for a second RIP x2

“They’ll suffer, sure, but everyone dies eventually” okay calm down Taizo

“It doesn’t matter whether it’s possible or not, because I’ve decided to do it” I admire Ashura’s blind optimism lmao

Not to poke too many holes but why would the water in the well not be affected by the Divine Tree

I take my comment about healing back ludicrously all the men get to display chakra natures and the women can only display glowing yin chakra hands booooo

Omg there is a Tenzo after all in an ED at least!! This is the first time I’ve seen all three members of the Naruto’s Dad Association in one place!!! Bless up

A shot of them standing all together!!!! My heart!!!!!!!!

SASUKE AND NARUTO’S GRINS AT EACH OTHER I WEEEP

[Hagoromo as Kakashi voice]: TEAMWORK!!

I was very much expecting Indra to go crazy and kill those two guys but wow that was a scene

“Enough to make you fall in love with him and follow him all the way here” At least Ashura gets like a real wife instead of Hagoromo’s ‘ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ she dead’

Hagoromo: Indra’s a dick because his eyes are red trust me it has nothing to do with my parenting I’m a chakra scientist

“Indra, just what is the meaning of this” it’s a temper tantrum lmao

Was it really necessary to kill both of those guys Indra one best friend death usually suffices for mangekyo my dude

Minato joining Kakashi in the club of Boyz Who Jutsu Was Plagiarized

Hagoromo really has absolutely zero hesitation to attack his son and you wonder why Indra has a complex

“THIS IS THE POWER OF OUR BOOOOOND” he said, as he punched his brother in the face with a thousand wooden hands (mood)

Indra’s Lightning Teleportation Jutsu is really doing The Most the Raikage is not nearly this dramatic about it 

Can you... just.... declare that your soul will be reincarnated? Is that how that works? 

Also. Who slept with Indra?! U made him out to be like. Very Not Okay. But he’s the forefather of the Uchiha?? WHERE ARE THESE CHILDREN COMING FROM TELL ME WHO IS BANGING THIS OUT OF CONTROL FAMILY

Hahahahaha I’M SO READY FOR THIS RIDICULOUS TEAM 7 TRYING TO UNMASK KAKASHI EPISODE BRING IT THE FUCK ON

I knew the Sukea voice would be different but omg I’m still thrown

“S-kay-a” is really not how I thought that would be pronounced wow 

“If I’m able to capture this Kakashi guy without a mask on, it’ll be the biggest scoop since the Leaf was established” a little arrogant Kakashi but okay kjhgkjhgkjhgjhg

This is such an adorable and weird bonding exercise of Kakashi teaching his kids how to break into Konoha’s archives I’M WHEEZING

I would pay money to see Kakashi explain what he was doing to all those dudes in ANBU who probably thought he was intimidating as all fuck catching him a wig with three twelve-year-olds breaking into his own file

“Who cares what I look like anyway!” THIS IS SO DUMB I LOOOOVE IT

“I think that a woman might’ve drowned right over there on the river bank” HINATA!!!!! UR TOO NICE TO BE ENLISTED INTO THIS SCHEMING HAHAHA

Oh I remember seeing reference to this scene booooo do they really have to make it weird all the time

This concept is even MORE ridiculous in the show bc it expands beyond Team 7 to all the other Konoha rookies like Kakashi how much do u enjoy teasing the children that this is how you’re spending your day

HAHAHAH Kakashi is lucky that the person who knows him best has face blindness and can’t call him out for his schemes 

Okay not to betray my own brand but ᵏᵏᵍᵃᶦ ᶜᵘᵗᵉ

They really designed a nicer apartment for Kakashi just so they could animate his silhouette in the shower STUDIO PIERROT PLEASE

Fhkjhkjfhkjhkf that last scene made me so uncomfortable I don’t really like seeing Kakashi’s mouth while he talks it’s weird

You know I spent a lot of this interlude chanting main arc main arc in my head but alas now that we have arrived I’ve remembered that the war arc climax is a mess

“If my chakra runs out, I’m done” seriously Obito.......... how are you here

Can you imagine if Naruto actually died.... what would that even mean for this series I can’t imagine 

“I already marked this space, so I can hide out in my time-space” I want to know how Obito “marks a space” is it like a jutsu or does he just have to nod at it and go “my space now”

 I would also pay money to see what Obito and Sakura talked about when they had to hang out in Kamui for a solid two minutes lmao 

“So you’re friends with sensei huh?” “Yeah it’s complicated but I think we’re cool now” “Yeah, same with us and Sasuke” “Sorry about that” “I don’t forgive you but thanks”

“You alright?” define ‘alright’ but also Obito’s never been alright a day in his life, Sakura 

Uh oh foreshadowing to the heavy gravity space where Obito d*es

Okay maybe this is the part of me that is still clings to their Part I friendship but Sasuke helping Sakura stand really brings out my inner soft bitch

 “It would’ve been helpful if we could’ve received this advice a bit earlier” Tobirama’s bitter about sitting through five episodes of filler

Tobirama: Why haven’t u been helping this whole time

Hagoromo: It all comes down to Madara’s magic pelvis—

“This man lent me his power and that’s why we were able to get here” does Sakura not know Obito’s name either khgkjhgjkgh

How many times will we watch these same two flashbacks of Obito’s life

Looks like Kakashi brought a knife to a taijutsu fight LMAO

God Rin is such a good friend to Obito and he repays her by literally defacing her grave 

“Am I powerless to do anything but sit here and watch” it’s not really your fault you can’t fly Kakashi tho u could try throwing some kunai or smth ur not a one sharingan pony

Ddkjhsdkjhd why does Obito get a line worrying about Naruto’s death but Kakashi doesn’t he’s spent the past two days trying to kill Naruto

I’m still emo abt Kakashi trying to die for Sasuke that’s his soooon

“Rin... this time, let’s spend some alone time together, just you and me” Why phrase it like that, Obito

"Why save someone useless like me” Kakashi get some therapy

“A fool full of only mistakes” it’s hard to disagree with Zetsu when they’re flashing back to every mistake Obito has ever made

Where’s the graphics set where Obito goes ‘admittedly I lost my cool here’ because that’s what that flashback was 

Update: found it

“Don’t cry, Obito, you’ll just get laughed at” this fantasy is an indication that Obito has no real comprehension of how fucked up Kakashi was by Rin’s death

Can you believe that Rin still dies in Obito’s jonin AU like....what. It’s not even like “AU of what I want” it’s like “AU where I learn how to cope with trauma” 

Also was this just an out for not designing an adult Rin bc he’s been thinking about Rin endlessly for like three episodes straight so..... what up with that

It’s still so fucking funny that Iruka’s in Obito’s jonin fantasy like when did they meet did he just absorb secondhand Iruka appreciation from Naruto 

“But, if you screw up, I won’t hesitate to step up as a candidate for Hokage myself” yesssssssss let Kakashi be the playful menace he truly aspires to be

Gjghjkhgjhg Obito’s “euuuuuuuuehhhh” when the paperwork dropped was funny

Sasuke’s face when Sakura punched Naruto was also v funny 

Honestly to be real for a second Obito imagining himself as buddies with Team 7 makes me mad u’ve done nothing but make these kids’ life TERRIBLE until today babysitting license REVOKED!!!!!!

Am I a hypocrite for enjoying AUs ft. Obito? Mayhaps!!!

“You told me that saving you was pretty much the same as saving the whole world, remember?” (Well.)

“I’d say, you did your best” You know that post that said it makes sense that Rin said this bc she’s a Scorpio. I’m still upset about it

You know... Naruto’s “the coolest guy” (“nothing but awesome”) comment about Obito is a direct parallel to “Bravest man I ever knew” in HP and that’s why, if I were to meet either adult man, I would dropkick both of them. In this essay I will—

“It’s kind of annoying seeing [Kakashi] all stiff and useless” u right Obito

Kishimoto pick up the phone I just want to talk about that rabbit bijuu design 

“A Susano’o? But whose?” DAD’S HEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRE

Kakashi with Six Paths Power REALLY feeds into my theory that Kakashi is Hagoromo’s transmigrant 

THAT’S MY TEAM READY TO SAVE THE WORLD TOGETHER!!!!!

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 KAKASHI GETS HER VULNERABLE AND THEN THE BOYS ATTACK WHILE KAKASHI GUARDS THEIR BACKS AND SAKURA FORCES HER INTO PLACE THIS IS WHOLEASS TEAMWORK

“I really love you guys” YEAH HE DOES 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Okay arc over haha right guys we’re good now RIGHT GUYS??

In part, Kakashi jumping around to save his students feels very much reminiscent of Part I’s “MY SENSEI SENSES ARE TINGLING” swoop and scoop that he and Gai loved to do

Lmao @ Kaguya spitting Madara out like he’s a bad-tasting vegetable

Coming up with an OP specifically for VOTE2 is so extra but I kind of love it the Diver parallels!!!!

Sasuke is SUCH a liar abt his attitude towards Team 7 - more specifically towards Sakura and Kakashi bc he has already granted that he cares for Naruto

Sasuke: Comrades? I don’t know her

Also Sasuke: Constantly urging Sakura and Kakashi to get to safety and actively intervening when they’re not

“Honestly at this point I don’t think anything could shock me anymore” Sakura really needs a hug and a nap

“I shall be sure to ask Obito tell me that tale in the afterworld” the real question is if Obito will still look 12 when he takes Hagoromo on the harrowing journey that is his life

Kakashi truly has endless love in his stupid ass heart Obito’s like, “Hmmm... whoops sorry 4 committing mass murder” and Kakashi’s like “Hehe, we all mess up sometimes :) See u in heaven”

Madara and Hashirama really did invent being in gay love huh

WOW I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO TEAR UP BUT KJHFKJHFKJH MY BABY BOY SAYING GOODBYE TO HIS DAD HE IS THE WORLD’S BIGGEST SWEETHEART

“You’ve now finally settled things with Madara” Tobirama has been waiting for like a hundred years for his brother to get over his ex

Hagoromo: Naruto’s your new conference room congrats kids 

Mmmmm I don’t like aaaaannnnnny of this

“You’re suggesting that I enjoy a roooOoomance” why say it like that Sasuke

I genuinely think this is the maddest that Kakashi’s ever been at Sasuke that boy is very, very grounded

“I, too, had two children at one time” OMG KAKASHI OFFICIALLY DESIGNATED TEAM 7 DAD BY HAGOROMO (ur miscounting tho Kakashi actually has four (4) children)

“I think I shall let Naruto handle this” said Hagoromo, and everyone who encountered any problem in this series ever

I’m very distracted from Sasuke’s dictatorship speech by the fact he looks so much like an alien. What is UP with his eyes they never look like this???? Why are they so far apart and narrow and angled

“Your blood will be the last that I shed” what r u just gonna keep genjutsuing ppl Sasuke? Could just keep the Tsukuyomi on then, homie

It also plays into the Hagoromo and Kakashi are related (spiritually or literally) that Hagoromo is equally as useless with advice to him lmao

Kakashi: What should I be doing, sir?

Hagoromo: Sometimes I like to pray :) 

Fjkkjgkjhgkjhk Sasuke claiming that Naruto is his only bond never ceases to amaze me like Sakura and Kakashi are RIGHT THERE ghkjhgkjhgkj u have been protecting them this whole time while they shout how much they care abt u. Just admit u have a crush on Naruto and go!!!

“I know your heart well by now. And you mine” Sasuke u unintentionally romantic dumbass

“Finally decided to kill me, huh,” said a thrilled Sasuke, taking a lesson from the Kakashi School of Very Much Needing Ninja Therapy

This entire fight is the Life or Death equivalent of this tweet:

Lmao one of these boys lost a tooth I want to know which of them has a dental implant 

Omg............... Iruka what is going ON.... u are suddenly v pale and also I think ur VA might be different could they not get the same Iruka or has he just forgotten how Iruka sounds

It was real unclear until this fight that Sasuke had any of the same powers as Nagato

“Now I can finally be alone... farewell, my one and only... friend” again... Sasuke... u can be in love with Naruto and still have other friends!!!!!!! Ask Naruto he has tons of friends he’s not in love with*

*Disclaimer: they are all in love with him

The idea that everyone Naruto’s ever cared about is spiritually trying to help him kick Sasuke’s ass is p funny

“Sakura and Kakashi are still there, they’ll figure something out” cute that you have such an assload of faith in your loved ones in ur life-flashing-before-you moment Sasuke but with what jutsu lmao

“I began to see a shadow of my own family in Squad 7″ YEAH HE DID�� 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I still can’t believe that Kishimoto really wrote that all it took for Sasuke to return to Konoha was Naruto explaining to him how love and empathy work 

Omg Sasuke laughing...... I missed your laugh you precious boy

“Release the infinite Tsukuyomi once I’m dead by transplanting my left eye into Kakashi or someone else” Fhjfhkfh it detracts a little from the significance of Sasuke offering his eye to Kakashi to add the “someone else” but I guess they gotta make the syllables match up

Why is every Uchiha’s long-term plan just to die before they have to deal with the consequences of their actions

“I’m sorry” “Sorry? For what” “For everything” “You got that right” Sasuke I think u need to treat all of ur teammates to ramen 

“It’s finally back to the way it was” Kakashi loooves his baaabies 

TENZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

Omg they included Guren from the filler arc in this crowd hahahaha

Gaara and Naruto enveloped in that same beam of light like Kakashi and Tenzo in the Tsukuyomi kghjghkgh SP said gentle gay rights

“I’m forbidden to talk about it” Team 7 would RIOT if Sasuke was locked up in a cell like that fuck you

Hahahaha I wish I could see the scene where Kakashi and Iruka decided to ambush Naruto with study materials 

Okay this is definitely a different Iruka ahhhhh weird I don’t like it

Iruka bursting into tears whenever Naruto talks about his progress.... same

I 100% believe that the vast majority of the reason Kakashi became Hokage was to pardon Sasuke but also that prison scene still seems appalling to me STOP MAKING THINGS WORSE THAN THEY WERE SHOWN TO BE

"Maybe next time” is super funny in the context that he does take her on his next mission outside the village and comes back with one (1) whole baby

Sasuke’s introspection usually seems to amount to “Birth is a curse and existence is a prison... oh hey Naruto <3″ 

The moral of the story seems to be that the best way to show someone you love them in ninja language is by telling them you want to keep punching them for the rest of your life

[m-eowdy]

what you do not want to happen to you, do not do that to anyone elseI found a list of 170 questions here, and I decided I want to answer them all (or mostly) and maybe make it a tag game. so anyway the questions and my answers are under the cut.

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I wish I were taller, I’m 180cm but I wish at least 185, ideally 190, like a goddess.

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) I just want a cat, man, I dont care.

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? baggy up top, slim on the legs. kinda feminine but also not and also very gay.

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? pass. I didnt play viddy games as a kid

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: my bf, cats & being as gay and nb as possible.

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? “If you’re a man, don’t fucking look at me”

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? pass

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] I dont know

9: Are you ticklish? yes if you tickle me, I will stab you

10: Are you allergic to anything? currently batteling my doctor about gluten (message me if you want to hear the story)

11: What’s your sexuality? Im currently trying to be more comfy with the lable bi, I have a huge preference for women but I have a boyfriend and I dont want to limit myself (I will one day write a post about this)

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? cocoa, what demon prefers tea or coffee over that, geez

13: Are you a cat or dog person? cat, but I also like dogs, but I can read cats way better

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? im already a vampire/elf, next question

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? I think Jenna Marbles, but I have a few favourites

16: How tall are you? one time at the doctors I was 181.5cm so sometimes I tell people 182cm but thats just not the truth, I guess 180-181cm but I usually say 180cm bc its easier. am I obsessed with my height? maybe.

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I’ve liked the name Jay for so long... its gender neutral and stuff. but it’s too big of a hassle and my name is fine and I dont get dysphoria from it so its all good fam

18: How much do you weigh? 58kg, i’m like 3kg underweight, my health is just... bad, just enough to function I guess but just annoying. 19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? I only believe in positive things, so yes I believe in positive energies people leave behind to help you.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? both too big and too scary

21: Are you religious? I guess?? raised catholic and now im just like???? aaaa idk, kinda. my own version.

22: Pet peeves? when people are impatient

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? im already diurnal bc im a human but idk its fine

24: Favorite constellation? Ursa Major and Leo (bc that me)

25: Favorite star? our sun lmao

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? dolls are all together bad, sorry

27: Any phobias or fears? spiders, people, big spaces, small spaces, heights, depths, lonelyness, etc.

28: Do you think global warming is real? HOW IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION OF COURSE ITS REAL ASDFGHJK this is like asking someone “do you believe its raining right now?” while youre in a downpour

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? I mean your atoms will be used by other organisms, so I mean kinda

30: Favorite movie? Mad Max: Fury Road or Thor Ragnarok

31: Do you get scared easily? yup, fuck off

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? meaningful pets: 2, with fish that were just kinda... there, 8 (plus the 30 baby fish they got but ate)

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] not relevant

34: What is a color that calms you? purple

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? right here in my lovely country where I cant get arrested for being gay!

36: Where were you born? in my current house

37: What is your eye color? green and brown

38: Introvert or extrovert? extrovert (with semi social anxiety)

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? believe? not really, but do I participate, hell yeah. its fun.

40: Hugs or kisses? hugs

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? my bf

42: Who is someone you love deeply? my bf

43: Any piercings you want? more in my ears

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? yeah Im interested in getting some tattoos later in life

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? nope

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! my bf. he nice.

47: What is a sound you really hate? THE FREEZER, ANYTHING WITH ICE THAT SCRAPES. AAA IM AUTISTIC I CANT HANDLE THOSE SOUNDS

48: A sound you really love? a cat purring

49: Can you do a backflip? *play the vine with the “do I look like-”

50: Can you do the splits? nope

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? didnt have one since like 2014 and not planning to go back

52: Favorite movie? you already asked this

53: How are you feeling right now? god, so gay.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? purple at the ends

55: When did you feel happiest? fuck do I know

56: Something that calms you down? music

57: Have any mental disorders? hell yeah bby, adhd, autism and depression baeybeay

58: What does your URL mean? how cats say howdy, meowdy, but then with the m’eowdy like you’d say m’lady

59: What three words describe you the most? happy bored fog

60: Do you believe in evolution? AGAIN WITH THE STUPID QUESTIONS, IM A BIOLOGIST, OF COURSE I “BELIEVE” IN EVOLUTION

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? if they dont tag annoying stuff or if they start spewing terf/racist etc. stuff

62: What makes you follow a blog? if they funni

63: Favorite kind of person: helpful

64: Favorite animal(s): any type of cat, wolves

65: Name three of your favorite blogs. fuck this

66: Favorite emoticon: 😏

67: Favorite meme: dont have one

68: What is your MBTI personality type? enfp

69: What is your star sign? leo

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? dont have a dog, but my bfs dog can

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? black jeans red sweater

72: Post a selfie or two? nope

73: Do you have platform shoes? nope

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I miss one molar

75: Can you do a front flip? no??? wtf

76: Do you like birds? YES

77: Do you like to swim? yes

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? both bby

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: intollerance towards people who are different from you in a way they cant change

80: Some thing you wish did exist: world peace ashdjkafdsa

81: Piercings you have? 4 holes in my ears asjkfdlf idk how to describe it like a normal person

82: Something you really enjoy doing: making music

83: Favorite person to talk to: my bf

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? “theres cats on here? AND fandoms???”

85: How many followers do you have? 7678

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? idk what a mile is but no.

87: Do your socks always match? yes im autistic

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? no my legs are 90cm

89: What are your birthstones? peridot I think

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? cat

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? peony

92: A store you hate? DE SPAR, its a supermarket thats in places that dont have other supermarkets, so they can make things really expensive

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? none, next.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? fly

95: Do you like to wear camo? no 

96: Winter or summer? summer

97: How long can you hold your breath for? idk half a minute?

98: Least favorite person? thierry baudet (I dont even wanna look up if i spelled his gross name correctly)

99: Someone you look up to: my bio teacher from 2 years ago asfhiskdljl

100: A store you love? hema

101: Favorite type of shoes dr martens kinda stuff

102: Where do you live? the netherlands

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? nope, I try to lessen on meat but I think its not natural to cut off meat entirely

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? amethyst?? idk

105: Do you drink milk? nope

106: Do you like bugs? YES

107: Do you like spiders? no but they sometimes be cute

108: Something you get paranoid about? people

109: Can you draw: agsjksdf;ls sometimes

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? I shut out every negative thing that ever happened to me so idk

111: A question you hate being asked? “so isnt that like really hard, not being able to eat gluten?” YES IT IS SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME CRY

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? dont think so. well a tick counts I guess

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? yes

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? sunny with some clouds

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: my bf

116: Favorite cloud type: not too big without any rain thanks

117: What color do you wish the sky was? I wish it was more often the colors of sunset and sunrise

118: Do you have freckles? yes

119: Favorite thing about a person: kindness

120: Fruits or vegetables? preferably neither, carbs only baybey

121: Something you want to do right now: draw or sleep

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? sky, follow my sky blog @natyrae

123: Sweet or sour foods? sweet

124: Bright or dim lights? dim

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? no

126: Something you hate about Tumblr: most people dont read or have critical thinking skills

127: Something you love about Tumblr: lgbt community (allthough its hell sometimes)

128: What do you think about the least? asdfghjkl this is a stupid question

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? “well, that was interesting”

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? myself

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? my “weirdness” (aka autism)

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? yes

133: Computer or TV? computer

134: Do you like roller coasters? nope

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? yes both

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? lobed

137: Do you believe in karma? yes, although more in a “people will be an ass to you back”, and not a spiritual one. wat gij niet wilt dat u geschiedt, doe dat ook een ander niet (what you do not want to happen to you, do not do that to anyone else)

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? a solid 5

139: What nicknames do you have/have had? variations on Jet. my bf has some cute ones im not gonna say here

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? yes, i was v lonely man

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? yes, they’ve all left me asdfghjkl (not bc I was a stupid person but bc they moved, counceling had to stop bc of rules, etc.)

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? I’m a fun influence, not in an unsafe way.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? I like giving things bc people will love me. im a selfish person who also isnt. im not one or the other bc no one is. anyway,

144: What makes you angry everything, next.

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? two

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? “non-binaries” sounds a bittt weird, but usually I like girls more, androgynous ppl are hot and guys are ok. 

147: Are you androgynous? kinda

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: legs for days

149: Favorite thing about your personality: im fun

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. im too lazy to think of three entire people, pass.

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? hunter gatherer, baeybeiy

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? used to, not anymore

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]  at uni

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? god yes

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? yes but me hands always sweaty so it dont work

156: What embarrasses you? everything I do always

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: everything I do always

158: Biggest lie you have ever told: “its not too bad”

159: How many people are you following? 2903

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? only counting my main (this one) 251336

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? 16

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? 149081

163: Last time you cried and why: this weekend bc im stressed 

164: Do you have long or short hair? shoulder length

165: Longest your hair has ever been: belly button length

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? its difficult man, religion brings people together but also drives them apart.

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? nope, it happened already and we cant change it

168: Do you like to wear makeup? not anymore

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? nope

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? yes

okay so that took me a longgg time, I tag whoever wants to do it lmao

[foxghost]

hi here’s another instalment of “I stayed up too late reading 鎮魂, edition chapter 13 - 26

Zhu Hong spends maybe 3 days a month being half snake (anaconda?). She keeps raw sliced meat in the office freezer, thaws it out in the microwave and “eats them like potato chips”

She also has snake pupils and a snake tongue. /this novel has all your monster needs

Zhu Hong: if you’re willing to sleep with me one night, I’d work for free Zhao Yunlan (totally seriously): …really? Zhu Hong: … (can’t believe he’s actually considering it)

The “black cloak envoy” in the show is named one-who-slay-souls in the book, and is exponentially more terrifying

take what prisoners? Send whom to jail? kills all the things

Zhao Yunlan: he’s kind of nice actually, but talks like an academic, uses too many words to say one thing

A “hungry ghost” is a shadow that is thin all over except for the stomach, with a mouth that opens 180 degrees, with arms like a mantis

Shen Wei’s first reaction on seeing it is to pick up a chair and BASH IT UNTIL IT STOPS MOVING

Shen Wei: shocked face that the cat is talking Daqing: Yes right but you just broke the head of a hungry ghost with a chair so why are you even shocked

Guo (repeats in his head): I am a cop Guo: is crying uncontrollably * Guo (to Shen Wei): I haven’t even had my first month’s salary — can’t i even SEE the money I won’t live to spend before i die? Shen Wei says nothing to this because laughing at him is probably improper Guo: Does professor Shen have wishes that has not been fulfilled? Shen Wei: Yes Shen Wei: There is a person, we are mere acquaintances, we have no relationship at all, in his heart, I am but a stranger he has spoken to a couple of times. But I still want to see him once more.

with a hungry ghost scratching at the door and Daqing promising rescue by Yunlan Shen Wei: Don't we have ways to save ourselves? Daqing: this is us — a common person, a garbage person, a vegetative person, and me — a lucky charm. Oh, ‘save ourselves’ you say. Do you think if we go into a hot steam wok, it would be enough to fill the gaps between a hungry ghost’s teeth?

amidst all this chaos, Guo is climbing Shen Wei’s leg bc he’s terrified, and Shen Wei’s priority is to HOLD HIS PANTS UP.

Lin Jing is … a monk? (fake monk, according to Yunlan)

Lin Jing: there are two men and a cat in there Yunlan: no way, Shen Wei wouldn’t abandon his student Lin Jing: … who is this Shen Wei Yunlan: mumbles nobody important Lin Jing: You only ever do that when you meet a beauty — is this Shen Wei a man or a woman? Yunlan: buddhist chant

when the hungry ghost is sucking up all the air + souls in a room, guo screams: I’m going to be sucked up!

and then somehow has the wherewithal to make up metaphors: i’m going to be sucked up like jello from a vacuum bag!

Yunlan cuts the energy between hungry ghost and guo, and guo starts falling — onto Shen Wei. Naturally, Yunlan rushes forward and catches Shen Wei into his arms and let Guo fall on his face

AND HIS FIRST PRIORITY IN THAT SECOND IS TO LOOK COOL

Zhao Yunlan holds onto Shen Wei’s waist and takes a halfstep the the side, and the lighter’s flame illuminates his face — handsome, cool, his features as chiselled as with a blade, gazing from the darkest place yet his pupils reflect the flame He successfully keep this act up like a big bad wolf, lowering his voice and looking into Shen Wei’s eyes, and like a hero protagonist saving a beauty in a movie, he asks quietly: Professor Shen, are you alright? At the same time, he completely ignores the whining intern on the floor.

Yunlan can hypnotise people and change/erase their memories of supernatural events, kind of MiB like

He does this to Shen Wei, carries him (like a bride, bc just before that Shen Wei’s leaning on his shoulder) takes him to his student’s hospital room, make sure he’s comfortably sitting, says a protective spell and EATS HIS TOFU

which is the chinese way of saying he took advantage, kisses the back of Shen Wei’s right hand and says: good night, sleeping beauty

of course, SHEN WEI wasn’t ASLEEP

he ‘saves’ the protective spell and leaves by the second floor window

i guess Shen Wei forgets about being human sometimes, only ghosts come and go by the WINDOW

Guo Changcheng GLOWS to someone who can see (like someone with a third eye) between worlds.

Apparently he’s been using his allowance to do charitable work for YEARS. There is so much merit built up in his ‘books’ he’s practically a saint

Guo Changcheng IS SO PURE

When the slayer arrives, the temperature drops below zero and the windows frost over

he has a black claok, doesn’t wear a mask. His face is just BLACK MIST.

He smells like winter. (and it’s nice?)

… like freshly fallen snow in the morning when one opens the door to it for the first time, that first breath you take on a snowy day — like endless and eternal snow that never melts, clean, yet extremely cold, mixed in with the scent of flowers dying in the frost — far and away, a fragrance like walking to the end of the world. But it’s only for a moment, because after that one’s nose feels frozen and can’t tell any smells apart.

Guo’s explanation in his head for this is: he’s from the southern hemisphere and it’s winter there. (omg)

And then the moment the slayer goes off with YUnlan he starts asking after his health seriously

the slayer is a motherhen (when it comes to yunlan anyway)

he uses the same tone of voice to kill ghosts as he does asking after ppl’s health and Guo thinks this is terrifying (it is)

Li Qian killed her grandmother, none of that heartwarming retconned stuff in the show

the Slayer finds out where the Reincarnation-dial is from Qian and Yunlan follows because he’s curious and finds the place … covered in bodies … of monsters and ghosts that the slayer’s just slain / beheaded.

Yunlan: What’s going on? We’re all responsible for the environment, your honour was only coming here to find a thing, how did this battle happen. tries to step around the bodies but there’s no place to put his feet (what battle? it was a SLAUGHTER)

So it seems Yunlan meeting Shen Wei in this life time was planned by the villain

Chu (old Chu from Zhao, Brother Chu from Guo) is thin as a moving skeleton, about the same age as Lin Jing

And they all slack off in the office MOST OF THE TIME

Yunlan pursues Shen Wei for 3 months, Shen Wei keeps on giving him excuses, the cat makes fun of him mercilessly

Yunlan is eventually reduced to buying a box of old books and stalking Shen Wei with his car on campus until the students are all staring and he has no choice but to knock on the window and asks WHAT ARE YOU DOING

so in the show they made this all about Yunlan being suspicious of him, but there’s none of that in the book, at this point he’s just pursuing the professor shamelessly

Yunlan: this is for you Shen Wei: … opens box No, this is too valuable I can’t take it Yunlan: makes up a bunch of lies my friend’'s emigrating they leave their books behind you take them Shen Wei: I — Yunlan: I what, we’re so familiar already, it’d be unconscionable to say no to keeping the books, see you, let’s have dinner this weekend drives off Shen Wei: is conflicted while suddenly standing on campus holding a heavy box Shen Wei: is happy Yunlan is being so lovely Shen Wei: is jealous that he may be like this with other people

So, Yunlan is an introvert

Yunlan’s heart is a little lazy, hasn’t interest in anything, there’s nothing of import at work right now, and aside from one important networking, occasionally harassing Shen Wei, he spends all his remaining time alone at home.

Yunlan lives in a studio apartment, ‘like a dog’, or ‘neither pig nor dog.’ in other words, MESSY

it’s Yunlan, apparently, that turned his role as ‘guardian’ / command of sealing the spirits(?) into a police department.

Yunlan has ended relationships (or have it ended on him) because he just doesn’t want to talk when he’s home

the reasons are “lack of communication”, “no passion” “Our personalities do not match, we don’t speak the same language” and “You have never loved me”

so he finally gets a date with Shen Wei on Sunday, and on Saturday he gets up at noon, eats bread and water and plays video games until he gets a massive stomachache

he stumbles out the door in his pajamas, a coat, and no socks in his shoes, to get food, and overhears a robbery taking place, and it’s SHEN WEI

they end up getting dinner afterwards and he eats like a starving man until he basically collapses from stomachache

Shen Wei takes him home and they trip over an open umbrella, it hasn’t rained in more than half a month

Shen Wei: Take off your clothes and go to bed Yunlan: But if I do you’ll say i’m improper Shen Wei: What Yunlan: is wearing pajamas under his coat has no socks Shen Wei: blushes Yunlan: shows off his chest You told me to take off my clothes Shen Wei: ZHAO YUNLAN WHY ARE YOU NOT WEARING SOCKS Shen Wei: WHAT HAVE YOU EATEN ALL DAY Yunlan: points at garbage can Shen Wei: the whole day? What’d you eat yesterday Yunlan: dunno, drank too much Shen Wei: Do you live like this everyday??? Yunlan: um, yeah? Shen Wei: about to die of anger

Yunlan, way to impress future husband, high-five

meanwhile, Yunlan’s thinking: he’s never angry, but he’s angry because he’s fallen for me. Because i’m handsome (NO JOKE)

Shen Wei: You’re not so young, and you’re established in your career, this is about time for you to find a girlfriend and make a home, ti’s best to have someone take care of you Yunlan: Are you seriously telling me that you haven’t noticed I’ve been pursuing YOU (looks depressed) Then fine, thank you for today, i’m alright, you can go home (fully expecting Shen Wei to feel sorry enough to come closer, Yunlan has a speech prepared and everything)

BUT HE LEAVES

And comes back the next morning 7am with groceries (gosh i love this trope) and takes care of Yunlan

Yunlan’s kitchen is full of kitchenware with the pricetags still on

Shen Wei preps food and heats his hands over the heater before touching Yunlan

to be precise, he strokes Yunlan’s hair and then kisses his own fingers (excuse the blogger. screams)

He feels as if he is a moth that has realised its fate, holding himself from the flame is painful

Yunlan comes out of his bath (in the afternoon) to find that Shen Wei’s cleaned his apartment, folded away his clothes, aired out his room, and made food

So naturally, he figures now’s the time to PROPOSE because wow he’s found THE ONE

Yunlan: Seriously, if you would agree, I will sell this place tomorrow, and buy a big place near your campus. Yunlan: I never thought about buying a big house before, it seemed like such a burden, but now I understand: if I want a person as my wife, then I must build a gold house to hide them. Shen Wei (thinks he’s making fun of him): Eat your food it’s getting cold Yunlan touches the back of Shen Wei’s hand: Even though it may not seem that way, but I’m perfectly serious

- queue requisite “i’m a man” and “you should have children” talk

Yunlan: I’m not obligated to propagate the earth for the sake of mankind, Teacher Shen, are you an ALIEN???

- Yunlan literally tells him: if you really want children we can get a surrogate, it’s easy enough to have kids when you have money - Shen Wei then refuses to go to a movie with him the next week but it’s because he’ll be out of town for a week and Yunlan counts that as a WIN

back at the office: Zhu Hong: Xiaoguo is a good kid, fast learner, but he’s too cowardly, it took him this long to accept food from me Yunlan: That’s natural, he’s afraid of people Zhu Hong: … Yunlan: He’s not afraid of you, because he obvs doesn’t think you’re people

earthquake news play on television Yunlan: Why wasn’t it a bigger earthquake, I had no my arms open ready to comfort him and everything Zhu Hong: Who’d you seduce this time Yunlan: Don’t make it sound so terrible, spring must come to the world and flowers must bloom, its fragrance cannot be missing romance, you ppl must not insult other people’s pure love Lin Jing: buddhist chant Zhu Hong: HELP.

Wang Zheng suddenly appear in the office during the day (she is a ghost, they dissipate in the light) and everyone rushes to close the blinds and give her incense

Yunlan (takes out cigarette): YOU Wang Zheng (moves backwards): Don’t make me breathe your second-hand smoke. Yunlan: …you’re a ghost, madam Wang Zheng, you’re not going to get lung cancer. Wang Zheng: Ghosts can smell smoke and fire, if you keep doing that, you’re going to turn into a human shaped mosquito incense.

Yunlan calls someone sister-in-law over the phone

Zhu Hong: How come director Song is his sister-in-law? He doesn’t even have a sister Daqing: Who knows, he goes out drinking and gains sister-in-laws (?)

- The ‘red’ threads connecting Yunlan and Shen Wei are myriad and golden (and Shen Wei can see them)

[chocobutt-trash]

1/3 Im sure u know who tis is but ain't ready for public to see who I am & unsure if this is good HC tbh 8D; I'm in mood for sweet ardyn turned cruel. I speak to u bc I love ur ardyn stuff 😂 so anyways. I had this in my own work in process for au too But then I was thinking. Feel free to add or disagree if ya want but can u imagine if ardyn wasn't just betrayed by izunia but by someone he loved and needed the most (or maybe they were same person)? Whether they're a sibling, spouse, friend, ect.

2/3 either way he loved em. So much. They were the closest to him. So when he became this daemon immortal and they abandoned him, he didn’t hate em right away. Why would he? They’ll come back. Long time passed about he was exiled or locked away. It’s so long later he hears they’ve “moved on” with their life and don’t attempt to reach him. Slowly but seriously, realizing they abandoned him for good, hatred settles in. They left him. It takes a bit but he eventually hates em and is angry. Tis why

3/3 he torture others (including Prompto) bc he thinks everything/one he has or meets or even creates bc he thinks it’s gonna betray em and/or he wants to take those dark desires out on em. Even if he met someone that wouldn’t do so or loved him he would just leave em be or torture em too 8D and if he met this person again (reincarnated or immortal) he would do anything in his power to let em suffer the way he suffered… 8D; if it’s dumb idea/HC feel free to delete I’m so sorry lol

Ooh a trio of excellent asks here! There’s a number of theories on who Izunia is and personally I like the ones where Izunia was someone who was close to him and meant something to him prior to the betrayal (in particular the hc that Izunia was his wife).

And when those he loved so much turned against him, initially, like you say, he would be very reluctant to truly believe it. He’d think that maybe this is all some horrible mistake and they’d come back eventually to treating him right. It’d be similar to someone suffering domestic abuse, well, in a way it IS domestic abuse. Like how someone in an abusive relationship might struggle to leave their partner despite the beatings they get, because that person they’re with *was* nice *once*, he’d keep hanging on to that hope. Often, people outside an abusive relationship wonder ‘why does that person not just leave? If it’s really that bad?’ But that’s part of the psychological issue with such things. You become mentally conditioned. And for someone like Ardyn, who spent his whole life being treated as some kind of demigod for his healing skills (remember the concept artwork of him parading through town Jesus-style on the black chocobo as per Palm Sunday), I’d warrant that he’s got enough of a background to make mental conditioning super easy for him. He’s already been treated most of his life like he’s someone else’s property. And I’d also say this gives him a very skewed view on what constitutes ‘ownership’.

Which brings me to your next asks. After his spirit is broken during his isolation (and @yourscientistfriend has a great post on what the effects of isolation are on the human psyche) his perception of boundaries would be all over the place. He’d likely have a lot of trouble accepting that people genuinely are nice or want to help, like you say, he’d be suspicious of everyone. So these issues play into how he lords it over others, how he plots and connives, and how he abuses others.

His abuse of others could also be a fucked-up expression of love. From his point of view, he cares about Noctis. He wants Noctis to succeed. And what does family do to family? Well, he’s got a rather skewed dataset of that. So it’s no surprise that he acts in such a way.

I also like the hc that Prompto looks similar to someone from his past. His actions towards Prompto (objectifying him by referring to him as ‘it’, putting him in stress positions that mirror those he was put in when he was crucified / murdered - again, see the concept artwork where he’s hanging, and even making Prompto kill his own family members (Verstael)) could either be a revenge thing, an expression of love, or catharsis for himself (making Prompto play his role). I personally HC the latter, but it could be any of these. Ardyn’s very complex.

Great asks! :)

[stateofirrelevancy]

Get To Know Me Tag

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

Holla @ ma girl @kerrity13​ thx for the tag babe

LAST:

1. Drink: some H and a double shot of O 2. Phone call: To my mom to ask where the olive oil is only to realize olive oil has too many calories and wasn’t worth it dsfjkds so then I tossed it back in the cabinet but it didn’t land upright woops 3. Text message: “she jus wants a friend” sent to my friend Orange who is watching Moana w me right now in response to “why is this fire lady so angry” 4. Song you listen to: Like I said I’m watching Moana so the I Am Moana song but if that doesn’t count then Vanity’s Fair - A Lot Like Birds 5. Time you cried: I actually have no idea?? Sometime in June prolly

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: twice????? bich i aint go on a date once 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Is this the section to make me feel bad bc I never leave my room 8. Been cheated on: refer to #6 9. Lost someone special: Idk I feel like yes like all my grandparents passed away and my uncle on my mom’s side and my aunt on my dad’s side and also v recently my uncle on my dad’s side but like they lived in Pakistan so I rarely saw them ya feel?? 10. Been depressed: I mean I’ve def been super sad but idk if I’d say ~depressed~ 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: refer to #7

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Orange, yellow, black, in that order.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes, one of whomstve being @oceansweather my go to drama buddy 16. Fallen out of love: fallen out of what now? u mean when I get over bands I used to like? Then yes Big Time motherfuckin Rush yall broke my tiny heart in two 17. Laughed until you cried:  Def who hasn’t 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so?? Like I don’t doubt people do but I ain’t jumpin 2 kno about it 20. Found out who your friends are: I guess?? I mean I’ve basically had the same friends for 5 years lol 21.  Kissed someone on your Facebook list: On the cheeks ya

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Ok considering I have eight (8) FB friends bc I made my fb to join my college’s group I know all of them considering I only added ppl super close to me lmao 23. Do you have any pets: When my brother lived here I had his cat Glimmer who is a stripper but he moved out and now I’m constantly :( 24. Do you want to change your name: Nah I like my name 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: On the exact day I had a big dinner at home w my family and the weekend after my friends came over! 26. What time do you wake up: If my mom wakes me up then 10 otherwise 11-12:30 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: prolly on tumblr tbfh 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Bojack Horseman season 4!! and new 5sos music ofc.  29. When was the last time you saw your mom? around 2 hrs ago when I went down to make popcorn lol 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: ??? be hot or not dumb either would b k00l 31. What are you listening to right now: I’m watching What The Health now cause Moana ended rksdjlkfsd 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No?? The only Toms I know are british YouTubers bye 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ummm myself 34. Most visited website: prolly youtube 35. Mole/s: One on my left pinky, one at the bottom of my left ring finger, one next to my left knee, one above my right eyebrow, one in the pit of my left elbow. 36. Mark/s: I have a huge birth mark on my stomach lmao fun fact it used to look like the US when I was younger 37. Childhood dream: yall I had my life planned THE FUCK out. When I was in fifth grade I decided I would b a pop star like Hannah Montana until I was ~30, and then when my world fame inevitably dissipated, I’d become a doctor like the good little brown girl I thot I was. 38. Hair color: black like my soul 39. Long or short hair: medium length lol 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Calum mf Hood ain’t got eyes for no one else 41. What do you like about yourself: what do I what now 42. Piercings: do my ears getting pierced when I was a baby count asdklfj 43. Blood type: I think B positive?? idk 44. Nicknames? Aky 45. Relationship status: me myself and i are together and in a loving poly relationship 46. Zodiac: Taurus 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: PARKS AND REC!!! I was jus telling my friend the other day that idt I’ll ever find a show I’ll love more than it. Words can’t describe how much I love P&R yall. 50. Right or left hand: Right but don’t b fooled my left is mf skilled 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: I wish!! 53. Sport: who? I don’t know her 55. Vacation: what does this mean like have I been on vacation before?? Then ya lol 56. Pair of trainers: CONVERSE BITCH aint no one else exist in the world but her

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: idk what this question means what is my fave food????????? then,, idfk lasagna 58. Drinking: capri sun could fuck me in the asshole any day 62. Want: ?? death 63. Get married: ya I’m mf down when will a boi wife me tf up 64. Career: idk I really wanna work in AI 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs wtf i aint kiss none but hugs are pure i will fight someone over this 66. Lips or eyes: idk eyes?? 67. Shorter or taller: I guess taller cause im smol 68. Older or younger: older give me a daddy 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms gotta b strong to choke me 2 death 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive I need some1 2 feel emotions for me thx 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: are u saying i have the choice of finally having a cringey fuckboi badboy tm that most every wattpad fic was about 5 yrs ago?? no thanks

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: ,,,u kno the answer to that bye 75. Drank hard liquor: this is the section to make me feel bad abt myself reincarnated  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no n knock on wood I won’t 77. Turned someone down: ekjfnkdlsn one time a guy asked me to homecoming and I told him homecoming wasn’t my thing and then he saw me at homecoming ekdfjaderdfkalesdf 78. Sex on the first date: uhhh 222 early 4 me 79. Broken someone’s heart: who knows mayb i broke the homecoming guys heart the world may never know 80. Had your heart broken: anytime Calum refuses to acknowledge my existence 81. Been arrested: no but I’ll gladly b put in handcuffs :-) 82. Cried when someone died: ya when my grandma on my mom’s side died. Oh and also when Christina Grimmie died :( 83. Fallen for a friend: idt so

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: ha 85. Miracles: sort of? Like I don’t believe in the magic behind it or whatnot but like winning the lottery would be a miracle bc like it’ so rare ya feel me 86. Love at first sight: nope not one bit 87. Santa Claus: fun anecdote so I’m Muslim and I never understood how Santa knows which houses are for people who celebrate christmas vs those who don’t and so I somehow conjured up the theory that he knows bc he checks each house and if they decorated and have a tree up, they celebrate it. So I was telling my mom this and she’s a vvv blatant person so we was straight up like he doesn’t exist and I was like he does!! and she was like ok then put up decorations and see if he comes and I was like :-( 88. Kiss on the first date: personally too early for me

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Idek who would be considered my #1?? Also what happened to question 89 lol 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam

I tag @oceansweather @aneverendingreplay @5sowoc @lukescurlies @fuckmemgc @harrqstyles @punk-dinosaur @ovalt @tennisbowels @disasterologiess @hiighriselights and anyone else who wants to

[inuykago]

hey can you write analyses about inuyasha. Like your opinion on who inuyasha loves more? and why you think so? And maybe share all your feels about inukag on certain episodes! Definitely want to hear your opinion since you're watching it for the first time! I really enjoy your blog!

im so flattered by this ask & so so happy you enjoy my blog T-T

i’ve been thinking about this alllll day so here goes it!

so first all, i think Inuyasha is sucha great, great show. It takes a lot for me to really get into a show, let alone create a whole blog dedicated to it, and inuyasha was really able to grasp my attention within the first episode. I either like or dislike a show, and i freaking LOVE inuyasha. The characters are so dynamic and different and all such bad ass bitches in their own ways, and i LIVE for that! and of course the ships in the show makes it 1000000x better. Though there are a lot of episode and people may find that to be dragging, i think it’s really great bc the show preciously shows the story line and doesn’t let its viewers miss out on any detail. Whether it’s just one line or an entire scene, inuyasha really knows how to keep its viewers interested.

Before I give my opinion on who I think Inuyasha more, I think it’s really important to first show I analyze both Kikyo and Kagome (based on what I’ve watched which is up to season 6 so far).

So, let’s take a look back at Kikyo - Kikyo was obviously taken away by Inuyasha, as we saw in the flashbacks, she spent quite sometime with inu, whether it was to seriously talk or just take a simple stroll. From what I’ve seen so far, Kikyo’s love for Inuyasha is much more mature and serious. Kikyo knows what her duty in life was, and that was to protect the sacred jewel. Kikyo and Inu talked more on serious terms, while of course, also enjoying each other’s company, which made both of them forget about their worries and flaws for awhile. She tries to convince Inu to use the shikon jewel to make him fully human. Not only did Kikyo want this as a way to be with him for eternity, but also because she wanted to settle down. She wanted to settle down with someone who has made her feel much differently than ever before. Kikyo wanted to spend the remainder of her life with Inuyasha, and help him grow and just embrace in one another in what they are - a priestess and half-demon. They were defying all odds and both her and Inu fell in love with that. Kikyo wanted Inuyasha to grow up, but to also grow old with her. 

Now, Kagome, despite being Kikyo’s reincarnation, is much more different than Kikyo and I think that has to be one of the most beautiful parts to this “love triangle,” if you will. Finding Inuyasha pinned to the Sacred Tree in the Feudal Era was, obviously, life-changing for her. She was confused, curious, and also a bit scared. However, after Inuyasha saves the village from a demon, I believe she finds herself feeling more safe. Though Kagome didn’t realize it, she had already developed a little crush - a little baby crush. But this soon turns into an innocent, childish love. Not childish like immature, but childish like new and unaware. Kagome loves Inuyasha and yearns to be by his side to experience new adventures, new feelings, new knowledge, and just have fun. Kagome wants to experience everything first with Inu. However, despite her love that runs so deep, she is mature enough to understand that Kikyo will always by Inu’s first: his first love. Though this breaks her heart, she swallows her pride and embraces Inuyasha’s decision to pursue Kikyo first and forth most. Her love is so genuine, she just wants the chance to experience life by his side, even if that means Inuyasha doesn’t reciprocate that same desire.

Therefore, I believe that Kagome loves Inuyasha more (if that wasn’t already obvious lol). I cannot fully express the amount of love Kagome has for Inuyasha. It takes so much courage, understanding, and LOVE to be able to watch the person you love, basically, love someone else and, subconciously, puts you to second-best. As I previously explained, Kagome wants to experience life with Inu by all means necessary. She lives for the arguments, laughter, and danger that comes their way. She knows that though he still has feelings for Kikyo, Inu would never hesitate to protect/save Kagome, and that’s what puts her mind to ease. Her innocent, childish, yet mature love for Inuyasha is impossible for me to ignore because it’s so much more than just “love” itself.

So, if you see all my posts, you’ll obviously see how i go completely berserk when an inukag moment happens, even if it’s for a split second, my heart literally cannot contain itself. Since there are sooooooooooooooooooooo many inukag moments/episodes, I’ll just talk about my top three that I can remember off the top of my head for now!

Season 1, Episode 1-2

of course i had to mention the ICONIC episode(s) that started it all. When i first watched the episode, I didn’t really know what to expect. I used to watch the show when I was younger, but I was like 6 so of course I had no idea what was going on. So let me tell you, how messed up I am now when Kagome saw Inuyasha, on that tree, all helpless, but yet “sleeping” so soundly….I’M REAL MESSED UP. When she reaches for Inu’s lil doggy ears it hurts me so much because I love his lil doggy ears and how he wiggles it around when he hears something or people talk about it. Just the mere fact that Kagome pulled out the arrow out of him (((EVEN THO EVERYONE TOLD HER NOT TO BECAUSE HE WILL KILL EVERYONE))) just makes me really want to punch myself in the face or something because even she knew!!! she had to do it!!! And then as the episode goes on and Inu keeps calling her Kikyo i’m honestly like “really man” and of course it’s understandable why Kagome gets so uptight about it. But that whole thing is the first-hand example of how Inu cannot forget Kikyo. Anyways, when Lady Kaede puts the spell on Inu and gives him a necklace that can’t be taken off and thus the infamous “Sit!” comes in…. dude, when inu just sits there all sassy because he can’t do anything it melts my heart lmao. Then of course in the following episodes Inu and Kagome have to team up to find the shards after Kagome accidentally shatters it, and thus INUKAG IS BORN OUO

 Season 2 Episode 48

Okay, let’s be real here. This episode is/was the actual source of my TEARS. LIKE!!!!!!!! As soon as I realized that Kagome was going to end up seeing Kikyo I was screeching my poor precious Kagome her innocent precious eyes, I didn’t NOT want her to see that T-T But so she did, and my heart was ripped out yet again… When Inu hugged Kikyo and says that he’s the only who to protect her, I was both sad and mad but more sad because !!!KAGOME!! and then when he turns around and sees Kagome and he looks at her with those precious little puppy dog eyes….all the feels man…. all the feels…. Then when Kagome goes back home and thinks about Inu and Kikyo and wishes Kikyo didn’t exist I FELT THAT like spiritually mentally physically… Then later on in the episode when Kagome decides that it’d be best to never go back to the feudal era and give back the shards and forget about Inuyasha and all I literally started crying. I was in my school library and I was crying in my cubicle. but OK AT THE END WHEN INUYASHA AND KAGOME TALK AND I FELT THE TENSION AND EVERYTHING AND KAGOME EXPRESSED HOW SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT INU WILL ALWAYS HAVE FEELINGS FOR KIKYO, BUT SHE STILL WANTS TO STAY BY HIS SIDE AND HOLDS HIS HAND AND THEY WALK TOGETHER!!!!! LIKE!!!! THAT IS WHY IM SO FOR INUKAG AND KAGOME IS A BOSS ASS BITCH. SHE IS SO MATURE AND LOVES INUYASHA SO DEEPLY AND JUST WANTS TO LOVE HIM AND LIVE LIFE WITH HIM AND MAKE SURE HE’S HAPPY AND OUT OF HARMS WAY AND JUST BURY ME WITH MY SHIP

Season 4 Episode 89

Let me just say that i freaking LIVE for episodes that take place in the modern dimension, because I know Inuyasha will always find his way into there because Kagome always gets back “late” (yeah ok or he just CANT STAND NOT SEEING HER) and Inuyasha in modern day is so adorable because he’s so lost and clueless and so used to fighting demons and monsters that he doesn’t even know what it’s like to walk in a city and i just LOVE it. Anyways, the tHING THAT REALLY GOT ME IS HOW OK HOJO ALWAYS GIVES KAGOME FOOD AND FRUITS TO CURE HER “ILLNESSES” BUT IN THIS EPISODE INUYASHA DOES SOME OF HIS OWN HUNTING AND GATHERING AND GETS INGREDIENTS FOR KAGOME AND BRINGS A GIANT LOAD OF IT BACK TO HER HOME AND HE MAKES IT AT HER HOME AND JUST T______T I CANNOT. Then at night when he pat Kagome as she fell asleep and he watched over her and looked through her photo album, i was living and i was loving it. Like my inukag feels NEED these things. And he just spent the night with her like fck my shit up ugh. and when Kagome woke up the next morning and realized she was gonna be later and Inu rushed her to get dressed and took her to school for her “test” !!!!!! I COULDNT HE WAS SO HAPPY TO TAKE HER TO SCHOOL AND HAPPILY WAITED FOR HER TO FINISH UP THE SCHOOL DAY AND HE WAS JUST SO PRIDEFUL AND HAPPY AND WANTS KAGOME TO EXCEL BECAUSE HE KNOWS SHE CAN AND THATS WHEN MY HEART BURSTED 

once again thank you so much for this ask, and anyone who read this!! I know its A LOT but i have a LOT of feelings and inukag murders my soul but i love it and now cannot live without it. Thank you for allowing me to pour out all my emotions

[starlightbarbie]

(don’t reblog this post if you’re not one of my friends talking to me)

okay, you know, i changed my mind? i’m cleaning house today, airing out laundry, so why not do the same emotionally?

it’s been weighing on me too long and making me feel like a bad person but i’ve been so terrified of burning bridges that i never want to admit when i have a different opinion social-justice/spiritual-wise than my friends on here.

bc a lot of people seem to have the attitude that having a different political opinion than someone means you literally can’t interact with them again or continue being friends.

which i understand, it’s an online safe space and you want to surround yourself with like-minded people so you can enjoy your time away from the real-life people whose opinions you’re stuck around. tumblr is kind of the only place you CAN talk to ppl about lgbt, race, gender, etc issues and avoid other types of ppl.

but it just seems so, in a way, divisive and un-productive to alienate people who you enjoy talking to and being friends with, who share all of your political, social justice beliefs except ONE or TWO....just because their ideology doesn’t match perfectly with yours.

especially when they’ve been respecting your opinions the entire friendship and there’s no reason you wouldn’t be able to continue talking just without discussing those topics you’ve never discussed in the first place because they’ve been silent about them...

so maybe i’m afraid of all my friends finally learning my two differing opinions and immediately going “wow youre a bigot we cant be friends” and maybe thats presumptive and wrong but i can’t help my instinctual worries, you know? am i putting up too much self-defense here??

i hope i dont sound attack-y which i’m worried i might because whenever i get ranty....but whatever, this is all just MY opinion and if you read it i hope you can understand where im coming from and then, take from it what you will.

.hhmm. enough stalling...

ive never been “anti” otherkin--as i understand it’s a spiritual belief for some and a coping mechanism for others, and there’s no reason for me to bash that or find any fault with people who just feel a connection to a certain animal or whatever. that’s been happening for all of human existence, there are religions which believe in reincarnation, and i’m agnostic anyways.

i wasn’t raised religious, tho my mom was raised catholic--she wanted my sister and i to come to god on our own terms in our own time instead of being brainwashed by a church since babyhood. so far it just made us very secular. but i’ve had jewish, christian, muslim friends, and never disrespect anyone’s spiritual beliefs. i do preach separation of church and state and hold the political views that come with that, but i believe in freedom to express religion as long as it doesn’t infringe on another human’s rights.

but when it goes past otherkin...people identifying as animals, plants, and galaxies, that doesn’t harm anything--but when it comes to fictionkin and factkin it makes me very uncomfortable.

it feels extremely like theft of intellectual property and theft of identity. factkin, i have never actually seen a person identifying as, just people having “discourse” over, so i dont know if its even real but if it is...i dont even know if i have to argue against it, it’s literally pretending to be another person who is alive?? and is themselves. it’s way beyond wrong to pretend to actually be a famous person, and it is NOT a healthy coping mechanism. it could actually really scare or harm that person they’re pretending to be.

fictionkin is something i have seen a LOT and have friends who id that way, so that’s i guess the big topic here. no problem with otherkin, no one i know is factkin, but fictionkin....

i understand where it would come in as a coping mechanism, i really do. i can relate. i have characters that i’m very attached to, that i relate to very much, that i look up to and want to emulate. some of them i even feel unreasonably possessive over, like “well that’s my favorite character, they can’t be your favorite character if they’re already mine” which probably comes in to play with fictionkin feeling like they ARE the character so nobody else can be the character.

but the thing is, i can’t help but to feel like it’s intellectual property being stolen. it’s one thing to roleplay, to say “hey i know i dont own this character but i’m gonna pretend to be them and explore different scenarios.” the same for cosplaying or writing fanfiction and making fan art. using characters somebody else created to INSPIRE your own art is all fun and games as long as you dont claim to own any of the copyrighted materials.

claiming to BE the fictional character is totally claiming to own it. not legally obviously, i don’t think any fictionkin think they legally have rights to their kin, but definitely a huge mark of ownership to say “This is Me.”

they didn’t create that character. they didn’t spend hours, days, months, pouring their heart soul sweat blood and tears into bringing that character to life. the writer/artist did. when you write, you put literally all of yourself into your characters. every bit of it comes from your thoughts, your unique worldview, the things you’ve seen and learned all mixed together and spat out in a new form. it all comes from the mind of the character’s creator. in a way, their characters are each, them, or have their blood running through their metaphorical veins.

i am PASSIONATE about writing.

claiming to BE that character, that a writer put so much of themselves into, is almost like claiming to be that writer too. at least like carving out a piece of their mind and saying “this is mine, it came from my life in another universe. it doesn’t belong to you. it’s not a unique pattern of emotions and ideas and creativity that you spent years developing. it’s just me from another universe, what a coincidence, right?”

it’s so offensive to steal another person’s hard work like that. and tumblr--tumblr--is supposed to be this place where people care about art theft and crediting the owners matters? and that makes me very, very uncomfortable as an aspiring writer who has my own original characters developing in my head.

important side note: i dont think you can say that fictionkin doesnt actually hurt anyone the way factkin obviously would. i have seen personal accounts from people on tumblr that said people were tagging their ocs/self portraits as kin, or telling them that they were kin with their ocs and they were writing the story wrong in some way, and they were very distressed by it.

so. i have never said anything because i dont want to hurt anyones feelings and i dont want to lose friends, but i also have to be honest and say what i believe if i want to respect myself as a person. so that’s what i believe.

and i don’t think it’s a necessary course of action to cut off ties with someone because they dont believe in fictionkin. its like stopping being friends with someone because they have a different religion than you. i’ve had christian, jewish and muslim friends and as i said, i’m non-religious.

i understand that maybe identifying as a character is more tied with your personal identity than your religious identity, so it’s natural you would feel like people should accept that that character is part of your personality--but please understand that i can accept that there are aspects of all those characters in you and that you relate to them, without expecting me to believe that infinite universes AND reincarnation across those universes exist, which is more than any of my religious friends have asked of me. (ie no one has tried to convert me to their personal spiritual beliefs)

so that said, idk if anyone read all of this, but if you want to stop being my friend over it i wont try to make you change your mind. if youre uncomfortable talking to me after this, its fine and i wont push it. i gave my reasoning for why im willing to stay friends and put our different beliefs aside so know that youre always welcome in my life if you want to be, but i wont force you if you dont.

the next one is worse. stay tuned.