#It's like paralysis. I just can't. It's Not Safe.

[haunted-xander]

Sometimes I think about Urianger's role in and feelings on the Thancred-Ryne dynamic and I think watching it kills him a bit inside. For several reasons.

Like, to begin with there's the guilt he's been carrying with him since he ushered Minfilia to the first, how he effectively killed the person Thancred cared about the most in the world and who's "death" ended up causing Ryne's entire Situation. He looks at what's happening between them and can only think "I caused this" even though that's not really true. No one person is responsible for this outcome, it's a culmination of several circumstances and the consequences of them. Logically, Urianger knows this. But it doesn't matter, because his guilt is overpowering his logic.

And also, like. What Thancred is doing here, the way he's knowingly letting Ryne be and stay hurt because he literally cannot bring himself to tell her his feelings, is the exact same mistake Urianger made with Moenbryda. Of course, the circumstances are vastly different, and the potential consequences to Thancred telling Ryne the wrong things or her misinterperating it is far greater (being a matter of literal life or death), it's still the same sort of paralysis they are trapped in.

And he knows it. He sees it. But he can't say or do anything about it, he doesn't have the right to. He acknowledges the mistake, but he hasn't really improved upon it yet. He still doesn't voice his thoughts and feelings as he should. He's also non-confrontational by nature, he doesn't argue or try to change peoples minds, he probably doesn't think he has any place to.

So, he tries to help in what little ways he can. Because he doesn't want it to become Monebryda again, he doesn't want to know he stole not one but two people from Thancred. So he does what he can. He tells Ryne little tidbits about Thancred, things that help her understand him but are safe to share. Nothing too deep, nothing too personal. Just small things, things that are purely factual, because he can't afford to give her a false image of who Thancred is. He teacher her fun and interesting things, because Thancred isn't in the mindset to provide her with non-essential skills.

I like to think Urianger has brought it up with Thancred at least once, during one of his stays. But nothing would've come of it. Not really. Unlike Y'shtola, Urianger isn't pushy, he'll bring it up once or twice and when he sees this won't go anywhere, he gives up. He wants to help, but he knows that persistance only does do much, and he is not the person who has the resiliance needed to push and push until Thancred finally budges (because he won't budge, it won't help anything but to sour things further by adding aditional stress to an already strained dynamic).

And like. Urianger gets it. He gets it because he's been the same way- not saying what he should to someone he loves more than anything else because she was meant to figure her life out herself, and 'steering' her in any direction by telling her his feelings (regardless of if the 'steering' is intention or not) will go against that. He gets it. He gets it and it's all the more painful for it. He knows it can't just be fixed by acknowledging it or with encouragement, something needs to happen to break the stasis.

I think this is probably why he stayed behind while they went off to Nabaath Areng. This is the very last chance they have to say what they want to, and he can't afford to be the anchor anymore. This is about them, not him, he can't let their resolution be buffed by his presence, so he stays behind. Which was probably for the best. Ryne got nervous when Urianger said he's staying behind, probably not too excited about being alone with Thancred (well, not alone, but WoL doesn't count) so soon after she had ran away crying. But she needs to be nervous. For anything positive to come out of this Thancred and Ryne both can't afford to be too relaxed. As sad as it is, the stress is necessary for anything to happen. He knows it. Does he like it? Absolutely not, but nor does he like his other plots. At least no one dies this time if it goes right.

[pacifymebby]

God i just had the worst dream experience with both a sleep paralysis and a lucid nightmare right after! This is a totally self indulgent ask, as i am seeking comfort in your writings rather than in someone i know, so i don't mind you not answering it! Could i request PB boys (any of them you are good with, really) reaction to a s/o who had a similar experience and is lowkey scared to sleep again (totally not me.)? Take care, and stay healthy! Thank you!

Oh angel I just wanna give you a hug!!! sleep paralysis is the worst and I totally understand you not wanting to go back to sleep again after that!!! I'm sorry I didn't answer this right away I've been pretty under the weather and not really writing or doing much for like two weeks. But I hope you can find some comfort in this anyway!

Tommy

🌿 Is familiar with traumatic nightmares, he often has ptsd flashback nightmares to his time in the tunnels, horrid nightmares which leave him shaken and haunted... for himself he has rules for coping, he tells himself to ignore them, to swallow down the fear and rise above it. He expects himself to be a man who just gets on with things.

🌿 However when it comes to you those rules go out of the window. Tommy hates to see you upset for whatever reason and when he wakes to find you tossing and turning, crying in your sleep, he can't stand to just leave you.

🌿 So he wakes you as gently as possible, he lies down nice and close to you, his warm breath on your cheek as he holds your shoulder gently and whispers your name in your ear. "Y/n, y/n angel wake up for me now eh, time to wake up..." he's being ever so soft, knowing that you're going to wake up scared anyway, not wanting to make it worse.

🌿 When you wake with a sudden fright his arms lock around you and he bundles you up straight away, he doesn't give you time to be afraid because he's wrapped you up and cradled you to his chest, your body pressed against his as he strokes your hair and kisses your head.

🌿 "S'alright now angel I've got you, you're safe y/n, was just a dream love, just a dream..." he'd hush you with his soothing words, press a long firm kiss to your forehead and wait for you to calm down a little. When he feels your shaking subdued a little he pulls away, strokes your cheek with his fingers and looks down at you.

🌿 He's trying to read your mind, trying to work out what your dream was about, trying to work out what you need from him in that moment. But you just nuzzle back into him, trying to hide away because you're a little embarrassed to have been so scared by your dream...

🌿 Tommy however won't let you be brave, thats his job, it isn't yours. So he pulls away again, caresses your cheek with his knuckles and then brushes your hair from your eyes and looks into them once more.

🌿 "Talk to me love, tell me all about it..." "It really wasn't that bad Tommy just gave me a..." "Hush now angel," he sounds tired and like he's all too familiar with this part of the conversation, "tell me all about it love, I wanna know... don't need to be embarrassed with me eh, not with your Tom..."

🌿 So you do as he tells you and you tell him all about it, voice trembling because thinking about it again is making you relive some of the fear. But Tommy is there for you the whole time, laying soft little kisses on you, your cheeks, your hair, on your nose.

🌿 You can't deny how safe and treasured he makes you feel, how warm you feel when you're all wrapped up in his arms. He offers you all the reassurance that you need.

🌿 "Was just a dream sweetheart, I'm here now eh, I've got you, I'll look after you, keep you safe, you're alright now my love..."

🌿 You're too scared to go back to sleep however and although Tommy is tired he doesn't want to leave you fearful and alone in the dark, so he props the two of you up and turns the lamp on. He reaches for his spectacles, (those wee specs are so cute man!) and the book on the bedside table, its your favourite and he keeps it there specifically for occasions such as this...

🌿 and then, with you resting against his chest, one arm wrapped around you, holding you safe and secure, he starts to read to you. His voice is soft and gentle but sleepy too and the lethargy in his voice as he reads to you is enough to lull you gently back to sleep.

🌿 In the morning you wake up in the same position, the book abandoned on the quilt next to Tommys limp hand, he's still sleeping, his spectacles balanced on his nose. So you wake him with a little kiss as you remove them and place them on the bedside table, then the two of you curl up together beneath the covers and go back to sleep.

Alfie

🐻 I don't know why right, but I can't imagine that Alfie really gets horrible dreams, which is odd considering all the horrific things he's seen and done. I also just don't really think he gets scared the same way "normal" people get scared... The only person I think he really fears is Tommy Shelby and if he was dreaming about him well, he's not going to admit to that is he...

🐻 Anyway, just because Alfie doesn't really get bad dreams doesn't mean he isn't going to be there for you when you wake up frightened in the night. At first you're hesitant to wake him... your Alfie isn't scared of anything, he's so strong and fearless and you think that he'll think less of you for being scared...

🐻 So at first you just let him sleep, you sit there knees hugged to your chest in the bed, shivering right next to him as he sleeps. You don't want him to wake up and find you crying but at the same time all you want is one of his bear hugs..

🐻 And when you finally give in you only have to say his name once, your little whimper of fear, and he's wide awake, pushing himself up, looking around the room, reaching for the gun he keeps in his bedside table because he thinks something terrible has happened...

🐻 But when he asks you what's the matter and you shrink away, apologising saying "had a bad dream..." he places the gun down carefully and turns to you with the softest expression.

🐻 He'd let out a long dramatic sigh and open his arms up for you, rolling his eyes, teasing you but not teasing you too much. Just enough to leave a shy smile on your lips as he welcomes you into his loving embrace. He just wants to hold you tight and offer you all the comfort in the world.

🐻 "Now then Ziskeit, just what kind of bad are we talkin about here yeah? Paint me a picture... are we talking teeny tiny, just a little bit spooky bad, or are we talking real dark, horrifying, enough to make even the coldest, meanest man shiver..." and you'd giggle and look up at him with a cheeky smile, already feeling better just for being in his arms, "but nothing scares you Alfie.."

🐻 He'd chuckle and then and shake his head, squeeze your cheeks between his thumb and forefinger affectionately. "That true is it poppet?"

🐻 Even if you don't want to talk about it Alfie is going to coax the whole terrifying tale from you so that he can pick it apart until it's no longer scary at all. He'll point out all the discrepancies and will constantly interrupt you with things like, "Oh so you were all alone were you well... you definitely don't need to worry about that do you cause me yeah, mean, paranoid old brute that I am yeah, I don't never let you out my sight do I...so you know this dream ain't ever gonna come true just for that reason alone don't you ziskeit..."

🐻 Whatever evil was chasing you and threatening you in that dream Alfie is not going to let you fear it and when you tell him about the sleep paralysis he really feels for you, and gets really serious.

🐻 "Now you listen very carefully to me now little ziskeit, very carefully yeah... close your eyes and listen carefully and then lock what I have to say to you somewhere away in that pretty little head of yours, somewhere you won't ever lose it or forget it, somewhere you can find it even when you're sleepin right... Whenever you're asleep I'm right beside you yeah, always right here with you watchin over you like the ugliest guardian angel you ever did see right... and I ain't never, never ever yeah, never gonna let anyone hurt you, never let any harm come your way... whenever I'm around you're safe and listen to me now my sweet girl, I'm always, always gonna be around yeah?"

🐻 He will ask you what he just said, so that you have to say it back to him, "whenever I'm sleepin you're always watchin over me and you're never gonna leave me on me own.." you're pretty shy about saying it back but until Alfie is certain you understand and won't ever forget it, he's gonna keep you there, his hand holding your cheek to keep you looking up at him, making you repeat it until he's certain you believe him.

🐻 The added effect that this brings out your shy smile is just a bonus to him.

🐻 He will very begrudgingly invite Cyril up onto the bed to rest his head in your lap and then he'll remind you that although Cyril might be old and soft, he makes a very fierce guard dog and he loves you very much so you can be sure he'll always protect you too.

🐻 Alfie will make you feel so safe and secure. If you're scared to sleep he'll sit up with you, stroking his hand through your hair, telling you all the reassuring things he can think, his voice meandering through that strange tangle of thoughts in his fathomless mind, soothing you to sleep so slowly you don't even realise you're drifting off until you've woken up the next morning cuddled up in his arms.

Arthur

🍂 Gets fucking horrid awful terrifying nightmares and usually it's you soothing him, cradling his head to your chest as you tangle your fingers in his hair and whisper soothing things to him about how you love him, how he's safe, how you've got him and it's all alright now...

🍂 And Arthur has always felt s little bad for that, a little like it makes him less of a man that you're always having to sooth and look after him. Even if you do reassure him that when someone's been through the horrors he survived nightmares are normal and they don't make you any less of a man for being scared to sleep...

🍂 Anyway, when you awake with a start, waking both yourself and him up with your scream, your hand clutched over your mouth as you flinch awake sat bolt upright in the bed, heart racing because you'd been trying to scream all throughout your dream and found yourself unable to make a sound...

🍂 Arthur is torn because first things first, he's worried about you, he's never seen you look so frightened and you really don't look well but...

🍂 He's also a little nervous because this is his bog opportunity to look after you for a change, his time to comfort you and be the strong and brave one in a time of crisis... he wants to be perfect doesn't want to let you down.

🍂 so at first he's a little clumsy, a little anxious when he reaches out to you... your scream set his own adrenaline soaring and he can't deny that he's struggling to calm his own fight or flight response down too...

🍂 But he reaches for your hand across the mattress, tries to keep his voice soft and low... it comes out gravelly and thick with sleep but it will have to do... "Y/n sweetheart.." he starts to say but when his hand brushes yours you flinch and turn to him with wide terrified eyes as if you're not sure you're really out of the nightmare yet.

🍂 "S'only me my darlin, shh girl it's only me you're alright love it's just me an you yeah, you're safe, at home, tucked up in your bed with your Arthur eh?" He's copying you almost word for word, these are the words you always say to him when he wakes from a nightmare in the dark and believes for a second he's still in the tunnels under France.

🍂 "Oh...oh my god Arthur I'm.." you'd start but before you can get your words out a sob would surprise you and you'd burst into tears throwing your arms around him. He'd be stunned at first, struggling to move for all of a second as he processes what you're doing and remembers what he needs to do next. Then he closes his arms around you and squeezes you tight against his chest.

🍂 "There there sweetheart, it's alright my darlin was just a bad dream eh, nothin can hurt you now cause I'm here yeah, ain't no monster or ghost that ain't scared of Arthur Shelby eh love?"

🍂 He won't need to ask you what the dream was about because you're always your most fierce and most vulnerable with Arthur, it's how you've managed to get him to open up to you. By sharing everything with him. So in your terrified and sobbing sorry state you'd spill everything to him, telling him all about the nightmare, about how you'd been trying to scream, how you were so scared and how you were trying so hard to scream but no sound was coming out and no one could hear you...

🍂 He'd listen to you with his serious face on but he would spare you the overbearing serious face then, instead choosing to kiss your cheek and offer you a little smile as he sighs, "Well my darlin I certainly heard you just then... reckon you woke the whole farm up with that one love," he'd kiss you again, bury his face in your neck and kiss you there too, his beard tickling your skin, his playful interlude painting a smile on your teary face.

🍂 And when he sees you smiling he's so so proud of himself because that means he must be doing well, he must be cheering you up and comforting you the way you always manage to help him.

🍂 He might... might try that other thing you do for him when he's wound up and he needs a distraction after a bad dream... if you seem like you're not really settling down, if you seem like you're still thinking about your dream...

🍂 He'll kiss you again, and shift you in his arms so that your sitting between his legs, leaning back against his chest, your head resting in the crook of his neck as he kisses your cheek and wraps his arms around you... he's still whispering about how you don't need to be scared, was just a dream, he's gonna look after you now... and as he's talking he trails his hands down your body, dips his head to trail kisses over your neck and your shoulder so that your eyes flutter shut and a little sigh escapes you...

🍂 He'll let his hands distract you from your bad dream whilst he mumbles in your ear all those comforting things, bringing you to a rather comforting high whilst he tells you, "I've got you my darlin, your Arthur's got you eh, don't need to be scared my sweetheart I'll look after you..."

John

🌼 Not a fan of seeing his girl upset, not a fan of seeing her scared... and he isn't exactly used to it either because you're always putting on the fierce and brave mammy act in front of the kids. Always claiming that nothing scares you so that your little ones won't be scared.

🌼 And when you wake up after a bad dream and you shake him awake, he's a little grumpy because he doesn't like being woken up in the middle of the night. He's also suddenly very worried because you sound scared and that could mean something awful has happened, the family could be under attack...

🌼 So when he shoots up and grabs the gun he keeps under the bed, his sudden movement only scares you more and you stifle a shriek as you scramble back and hit your back on the headboard.

🌼 "Shh love, what is it tell me what the matter is, what did you wake me for eh theres no one here?" he frowns turning around, his expression a little harsher than it really should be, he's definitely a little disgruntled about having been woken up in the middle of the night - even though he's used to midnight disturbances when the kids have bad dreams.

🌼 "Sorry John, shit sorry its nothin no ones here don't worry go back to sleep..." you'd sigh trying to shake your own fear off and pull yourself together. But he's still grumbling and, in truth, a little concerned because you look all twitchy and nervous like a frightened rabbit. "Right well flower, if there ain't no one here p'rhaps you'd like to tell me what you woke me up for eh?" he's talking to you like you're in trouble but the look in his eyes is that of amusement, teasing... so you know you're not.

🌼 You admit it eventually, blushing when you tell him that you had a nightmare, playing down how scared you were because you like to be brave. And because you play it down John teases you about it, grinning and making a joke at your expense all, "and here I thought you were a brave and fierce mammy who isn't scared of anyone or anything... now all of a sudden you're waking me up in the middle of the night over a little bad dream..." he spider walks his fingers up your arm to tickle you just under your chin, expecting you to smile and laugh but you don't.

🌼 because your nightmare was actually terrifying and now you're upset he's not taking you seriously. So you pout, and tears well up in your eyes and John frowns in confusion, he doesn't understand why you aren't laughing with him, "eh eh what's the matter flower, what's that face for eh? You know am only messing with you love, y'can wake me up whenever you like..."

🌼 And it's his sudden softness which sees you burst into tears, you feel so silly for it but you can't help it and all of a sudden you're crying to him about your horrifying nightmare, "it was the kids John, they got the kids an, an you an, I was trying to save em but I couldn't get to em and and..." He'll cut you off before you can work yourself up into a state over the dream, shushing you so that you don't wake the littlens up, his finger to your lips as he leans in to kiss your cheek.

🌼 He'll put his gun down under the bed back where it belongs and then he'll climb back into bed, sitting up against the headboard and putting his arm around you. He'll coax you into a hug and say he's sorry for teasing you. "That sounds like a 'orrible dream love," his voice is all husky where he's tired and trying to speak softly to you.

🌼 Holds you close to his side and strokes your cheek, kisses your hair and then cups your face in his hand so that you'll look up at him. Uses your tears to draw "war" paint on your face, grinning down at you like a child, "there y'are fuckin beautiful.." When you try to squirm away and wipe your tears away yourself he grumbles at you for ruining his work, "eh come back love come back am not finished, I was gonna give you a moustache next... a biggen like our Arthurs!"

🌼 He will keep at it until you're smiling and giggling with him, the two of you forgetting yourselves in your sudden playful mood so that your giggles wake the kids up and John finds himself being disturbed for the second time that evening.

🌼 Katie is stood at the foot of the bed, her eyes wide as she tells him she got scared by a noise, "heard someone screaming..." she whispers all frightened until you open your arms up and try to go back to playing the fearless mammy once more.

🌼 But Johns got other ideas and he cuts you off before you can tell Katie that it was just you and her dad being stupid... "That was y/n princess, she had a bad dream and it scared her..." "But y/n ain't scared of anything!" gasps Katie, "you weren't really scared were you y/n?"

🌼 and even though you go to shake your head and tell her that her dads being a rotter, telling tales again John interrupts again pulling Katie up into his lap, deciding that quarter past 3 in the morning is prime time for valuable life lessons with dad...

🌼 "She was Kitty, she was really scared weren't you y/n, cause everyone gets scared every now and again don't they... its good to get scared sometimes love, cause if you're never scared then you never get to be brave do ye..." and suddenly you're realising that this little life lesson he's teaching Katie, is really for you... because he knows you feel embarrassed and silly for getting scared of a bad dream, and he doesn't think you should. "An y'know the scarier the dream the more brave you've gotta be..." "Was your dream really really scary y/n?" Katie's looking at you now, her hands to her cheeks, her eyes all wide in awe of you when you nod your head and say "uhuh, pretty scary yeah..." You're blushing a bit but Johns really pleased and proud of you for being honest with her.

🌼 "So y/n's really really brave then?" asks Katie looking back at her dad who just grins and lets her scramble into your arms to hug you tightly... "Yeah princess, y/n's the bravest mammy in the world..."

🌼 You feel much better having one of the littleuns all cosy in your arms and with Katie tucked up between you and her dad, his arm draped over the two of you all snug and protective you're able to go back to sleep feeling safe and warm.

Bonnie

🍀 Bonnie is generally quite a heavy sleeper once he's awake, its because he's so relaxed about everything, once he really drifts off he's hard to wake up

🍀 however, because generally he sleeps spooning you or with you resting on top of him, his arms wrapped around you, he will stir whenever you stir and often you waking up is enough to wake him up too.

🍀 Which means when you start crying and tossing and turning in your sleep, getting more and more upset, he'd start comforting you and shushing you in his sleep. Both of you still lost to your own separate dreams, his much calmer than yours.

🍀 His arms would tighten their grip around you and he'd nuzzle into you, "shhh little dove, shh," his voice leaking into your nightmare somehow soothing you as you struggle to wake up.

🍀 So when you do wake up, even though it was his comforting words which were guiding you out of your nightmare, he's still sleeping peacefully, his face nuzzled into your neck, his lips mumbling against you. He even presses a little kiss to your skin and for a second you wonder if he's woken up, but he isn't and you realise he's still asleep when his words trail off and stop making sense.

🍀 So you try to lie there very still, try to shut your eyes and go back to sleep, you don't want to ruin his sleep because he really needs to be well rested for his boxing, and you wouldn't want him to be tired when he's doing Blinder work. If something happened to him then you'd blame yourself forever... and actually thats what the dream had been about so you start spiralling...

🍀 You'd get so lost in your catastrophising thoughts, imagining what would happen if he died, how heartbroken you'd be, you're so lost in the thought, already grieving the boy who is perfectly fine, tucked up in bed next to you, that you don't realise you've started to cry, that you've started sniffling and sobbing and that your shaking has woken him up.

🍀 "Little dove what's the matter sweet pea?" he asks, his arms tightening around you as you try to pull away from him and wipe your eyes dry. He'd hold onto you tightly, kissing your cheek, propping himself up on his elbow so that you'd sink closer into his side, lying on your back looking up at him. He'd look down at you with concern in his eyes, his serious expression tugging his brows together.

🍀 He'd catch one of your tears with his thumb and stroke it away, and when you tried to shy away from him, when you tried to roll into him and hide your face against his chest he'd catch you before you could, his hand on your shoulder holding you back, pushing you gently back down into the mattress.

🍀 "Asked you a question little dove," he'd say with a cheeky smile, "cmon sweetheart tell me what's wrong eh, you look sad..." He strokes your shoulder with his hand and then when you sniffle and a bigger sob escapes you he give in, bundles you up in his arms and lets you bury your face in his chest so that you can have a big cry.

🍀 Strokes your hair and hushes you whilst you cry, kisses your head and lets it linger. He's got his serious face on because it's always a serious thing when his little dove is crying.

🍀 Sings you a little folk song thats always made you smile, his voice soft and low, you can hear the little smile in his voice as he sings and it soothes you, paints a little smile on your face too despite your tears and eventually you've calmed enough to tell him what's wrong.

🍀 You're not embarrassed to tell Bonnie about your bad dream, you don't feel the need to put on a brave face in front of him because he's always been so soft with you, always been your fierce protector, always had a way of making you feel small and safe, and not embarrassed to need him...

🍀 And as you talk to him and get sad all over again he listens quietly and scatters you in gentle brushing kisses, stroking your hair and using the corner of the covers to wipe your tears away.

🍀 He'd rest your head on his chest and slowly sink back down so that he's lying on his back head propped up on the pillows and you're leaning against him, him cradling your head to his chest with both hands.

🍀 "S'alright now little dove, m'here an m'gonna look after you yeah, always be here for you, always be safe cause I'll always be here t'protect you won't I?" he'll make you answer that question, he'll tilt your chin up with his fingers so that your gaze meets his when you say "uhuh."

🍀 If you're still too scared to sleep, he'll be very sleepy and his sleepiness will go some way to relaxing you, even if you're scared you'll have that heaviness in your eyes and his yawns will be contagious.

🍀 He'll sit up with you resting against his chest, he'll pull the covers right up and get you snug, and then he'll start whispering that little lullaby folk song to you again to sooth you, his voice sweet and low, a little husky where he's half asleep. And he'll keep singing to you until you're both drifting off together, he'll try to stay awake for as long as you, and he'll make you promise him you'll wake him up if you need him again.

🍀 "I mean it little dove, tell me what're you gonna do if you wake up scared again?" ".... I'll wake you up Bon..." "Promise?" "Promise." He'd kiss you on the forehead, "good girl," and then probably kiss you again, holding you close and snug and safe.

Isaiah

🐀 Does not take your nightmare seriously enough because he's stupid, a dumb man who thinks it's funny to tease his poor girl even when she's scared.

🐀 You wake up terrified, the dream you'd been having had been awful, it was a sleep paralysis one where you couldn't move and you were certain you were going to die... your hearts racing when you wake up and as you shoot bolt up right in bed your hands clasp over your mouth to stifle your scream.

🐀 Which wakes Isaiah up, and he's grumpy about that because he's a man who likes his sleep.

🐀 "What the fuck y/n what're y'doin its the middle of the bloody night..." he'd be mumbling and grumbling, one arm reaching out to try and coax you back down into bed.

🐀 But when you try to speak and a gasp comes out instead he sits up to get qa better look at you. You try to be brave, shaking your head, letting out a little breath, closing your eyes and saying "just a dream, just a bad dream everything's fine,"

🐀 And Isaiah hears you and snorts, can't hold back his stupid little laugh because he can't believe the boldest woman he knows is trying to calm herself down after a bad dream. He can't believe theres a dream you could have had that would scare you enough you'd need calming down.

🐀 "What's this love? Bad dream... surely you ain't scared by a bad dream?" he doesn't really mean it, he's smiling when he says it, grinning until you turn to him with tears in your eyes and he realises that actually you really are upset.

🐀 "Shit love you really are ain't ye... fuckin hell what happened? Did I break up with you or something?" You glare at him, your eyes watery with thick gloopy tears, you want to smack him, want to tell him you'll be the one breaking up with him in a minute if he's not careful, but you're too upset and your mind is still on that terrible dream so instead of hitting him or snapping back with a sharp joke of your own you just burst into tears instead.

🐀 "Shut up Isaiah you stupid prick!" you sob trying to be angry at him but instead being too upset. All you want is a hug and your stupid boyfriends sitting there chuckling at you... thinks this is funny!

🐀 But when you start really crying he stops laughing, or at least tries to because it isn't funny anymore... he just can't help himself, this time his chuckling and his stupid little joke is because he's nervous and trying to back track

🐀 "ah am sorry mousy come here eh love, come here have a cuddle eh you're alright am here..." and though you don't really want a cuddle off him now because he's laughed at you and humiliated you, you let him sit up and wrap his arms around you anyway. He cuddles you into his body and shifts you so that you're sitting in his lap.

🐀 He'd drape the covers around you both and rock you gently, "am sorry love, didn't mean to make you cry eh, didn't realise you were so upset yeah, not like you is it being bothered over a little dream.." "Wasn't just some dream Saiah it was fuckin horrid!" you sob, upsetting yourself more and getting annoyed with yourself for showing him this vulnerable side he doesn't usually get to see.

🐀 "Shhh, I know love, must have been fuckin horrid to scare you eh, usually the other way round..." he's teasing you again now because thats a lie, you're a brave girl, usually pretty fearless, but you certainly don't strike fear into other people. No ones scared of Isaiah's Mousy lass.

🐀 "Don't be stupid Saiah" you mumble nuzzling into him, letting him kiss you and dry your tears, his teasing settling you a little. "Nah it's true love, you don't need to be scared of anything cause you're the scariest lass in small heath, no ones ever gonna pick a fight with you..." he's trying to build your confidence up so that you'll believe in yourself a bit more, so that you'll start believing him and won't be scared anymore.

🐀 Does ask you what the dream was about but he's not sure he wants to know because if it was scary enough to scare you he worries it will scare him too and he won't be able to comfort you...

🐀 But when he asks you get all defensive and smirk at him, trying to joke despite your tears, "You broke up with me..." and though he laughs he still wants to know, "Aye well we know that ain't gonna happen any time soon eh mousy," he'd tease kissing your nose and then tricking you, flipping you over so he's hovering above you and he's got you pinned to the mattress in a tangle of covers, he's threatening to tickle you and you can't help but giggle and try to squirm away... "Gonna tell me what really scared you now eh love?"

🐀 So after a little more of this apparent play fight you finally tell him all about the dream and this time he doesn't laugh at you or tease you and instead he gets very serious. He lets himself fall back down into bed beside you and kisses the centre of your collar bones, resting his head on your chest so he can listen to your heart beating.

🐀 "Sounds fucked up love," he says looking up at you and pinching your chin between his thumb and forefinger, steering your gaze down to him, "but you don't need to be scared now right, cause your mans a peaky fuckin blinder eh, no ones gonna mess with us..." Then he'll tell you he won't ever let anything bad happen to you.

🐀 Kind of like Bonnie, Isaiah is a sleepy boy and he'd be struggling to stay awake for you, but he'll do his best. He'd probably spoon you, kissing your shoulders and stroking your hair out of your face, his strong arms wrapped around you, holding you nice and tight against him so that you know you're snug and secure.

🐀 Will either start aggressively flirting with you to distract you or make you laugh, or he'll keep making stupid little jokes to try and ease your mind, the jokes getting sillier and sillier the more tired he gets. He won't let you fall asleep sad though.

🐀 Probably use it as an excuse to get you to have a lie in with him the next morning, he'll be grafting for sleepy morning sex, any excuse to squeeze you a little closer to him.

🐀 Might tease you about your nightmare a few days later only to flinch away from the death glare you fix him with.

Michael

☘️ Michael has a lot of bad dreams, haunting memories from his childhood which he refuses to talk about though you recognise that fearful blank look in his eyes when he wakes in the middle of the night and has to light a cigarette to calm down.

☘️ So he's very sympathetic to your nightmares and he doesn't like the fact that he can't control your dreams, can't get into your head and stop you from ever having a nightmare ever again.

☘️ So when you have you nightmares and wake up crying and shaking, breathless with fear he wakes up like clockwork, working on autopilot. His lethargic sigh leaving him as he pushes himself up, eyes not even open yet when he reaches to bundle you up in his arms.

☘️ He'd have you bundled in his lap, his chin resting on top of your head so that you feel secure with his arm around you, all held snug in place. He'd reach for the cigarettes he keeps by his bed, taking a box of matches, still half asleep as he mumbles a little comfort to you.

☘️ "Alright love, you're alright now, I've got you, s'all alright now love..."

☘️ Because the two of you have this routine down and you know the motions by heart, you'd begun to calm the second you felt his arms around you, the second you heard that long sleepy sigh leave his lips. You know you're safe because he's there.

☘️ "Have a cigarette love, you'll feel better in a minute eh?" he says placing the cigarette between your lips, drying your tears with his sleeve as he does. He'd place one between his lips too and light yours then his. The two of you cuddled up together having your cigarettes and gazing at your quiet cosy bedroom.

☘️ "The same dream?" he'll ask and when you nod your head he feel a pang of sympathy for you because you've described it to him before and he knows if it was him he'd hate to be trapped in such an awful nightmare. "Wanna talk about it?" his questions are so calm and so simple, going through the motions of your shared routine, it's so familiar, so secure and you feel so much calmer knowing he's there with you.

☘️ Because you both have your bad dreams and you both struggle to sleep you have this thing where you keep your bedroom as safe and snug as you can. It isn't very big and theres nothing that could cast an unpleasant shadow in the night. You sleep with the window open just a little, on a high up enough floor that nothing, no one could ever get in. It's your little sanctuary and you both know you're safe there.

☘️ And thats what Michael will tell you whilst you smoke your cigarette. "See this bedroom love, this bedrooms our sanctuary right, so you know yeah, that you and me are safe and sound in here, s'just me and you and absolutely no one or nothin is ever gonna hurt you in here, it's just me and you love," he's tired but he holds back his yawn and kisses your temple, blows smoke out above your head.

☘️ With the warm glow of the lamp, the soft smouldering smell of cigarette smoke clouding around you, the sound of Michaels breathing beside yours, the feeling of his chin resting in your hair, his arm hold you close to his chest, you feel so safe and secure. You know he really means it when he says you're safe in that room, really believes it.

☘️ And if Michael really believes it then you believe it too. You'd close your eyes and nestle into his side, take a deep breath in and then a long sleepy sigh as he pulls the covers up over you, takes your cigarette end and stubs it out in the ash tray. Puts his out too and then slips down against the headboard, still holding you. Cradling your head against his chest.

☘️ "See," he'd yawn then, "safe and sound eh, just me an you, safe and sound..." he'd close his eyes and kiss your forehead, rest his cheek on top of your head and slowly the two of you would drift back off to sleep together sweet as you like.

Taglist (add yourself here)

@call-sign-shark @zablife@jomarch-wannabe @inalovesrabbits-blog @liliac-dreamer @elina-777 @impossibleheartflower @mollybegger-blog @itsghostgirlyo @babayaga67 @marwwfairy @toddlerbodybag

[masturbucky]

The Intruder

DARK!Winter Soldier x fem!reader

Summary: You had issues with sleeping for the past two weeks. You wake up every night and you swear you can feel someone's staring from the shadows, but there's no one, and you know it's your imagination. Sometimes you feel touches. When you're tired of your mind tricks, you start taking those sleeping pills. It's good for you, and for the man who watches your sleep every night, too. But you dont need to know that. You need to sleep.

WARNINGS: DARK REALLY DARK PLEASE BE AWARE(!!!), Smut, Somnophilia, NON-CONSENSUAL EVERYTHING, AGAIN IT'S A FUCKING RAPE, Obsessive behavior, unprotected p in v, WS basically romanticizes from his sick point what he does to you, no y/n, literally NO comfort, creampie, marking, a bit of knife play(he tears your shirt off and touches you with a knife a bit), a lot of mentions of death by WS, choke kink if you squint, dacryphilia if you squint, what else? ENGLISH IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE! Also I kinda forgot to post it when I finished it and so i remembered only like an hour ago, changed some stuff a bit, but grammar errors are still on the table yk. Also, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU READ. I'M NOT YOUR DADDY I CAN'T TELL YOU SHIT, I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A MINOR, IT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

You sigh, dropping your bag on the couch while slipping out of your shoes on the way to the kitchen. It's a living hell, you think.

Two fucking weeks you can't sleep. You wake up every night, a several times at least, with a fucking panic attack, or in a sleep paralysis, or whatever the fuck it is — you don't know, you don't care, you just want it to stop.

The thing is, you're going insane.

Every night the reason you wake up is this feeling of someone's eyes on you. Someone's staring at you, from the shadowed corner of your room, every night and it doesn't stop. At first you weren't brave enough to look. On the thrid night you said fuck it and turned the light on, looking around. No one, nothing, no trace of anyone's presence. The fuck you expected to see? The windows were closed, same goes to the door — you checked, three times and one more to be sure — and you were honestly confused and tired enough to get back to sleep. Only for the same thing to happen the following night. And the next one. And again, and again, and again.

You changed locks. Better safe than sorry, you know?

It didn't helped. You still feel watched every night.

Sometimes YOU SWEAR you could feel lingering touches on your body. Cold or warm.

Again, you're going insane.

You bought a fucking camera and installed it in your bedroom under the ceiling just to find your sleepy self and your scared to hell awake self, walking around and searching for the fucking intruder, on it in the morning.

You tried to invite your friends over for the night, but — what am I, a fucking joke? — they all laughed at you, when you told your story. Fuck them, really, you should consider searching for new friends.

You decided to go to the therapist your friend (the only one who, thankfully, didn't laughed with the rest, but still brushed you off) recommended you. The point is, you'll have to wait a month to get an appointment in their busy schedule. You ain't gonna wait so long, you need to sleep for fuck's sake.

That's being said, here you are. Reading an instruction list to Flurazepam, which is like a fucking blanket itself, and grinning like an idiot, excited. Fuck your brain really, fuck it's dumb imagination, fuck the imaginary intruder! You need your sleep and you'll get your sleep, thanks to medicine!

Tonight you eat, shower, read your evening book and get to bed happily, excited to finally get some sleep. Maybe you take a bit more Flurazepam than needed. Just in case, you know?

***

He entered your apartment the same way as always - it wasn't hard to steal your keys and make a copy. He's used to be unnoticed, they would've been disappointed if he was careless enough to let you know about his mere existence. So far, you're stupid enough not to look into details. Smart enough to try and change locks and install a camera, smart enough to show him that you're safe from everyone, but him.

He stops the recording of this damn camera before walking into your room. He solved this problem the first night you installed it. It's a nice kind of change, he must admit. Seeing you from different angle other than from cameras he installed before is nice, truly. Beautiful, clever and caring about his... needs, even without knowing about him. That's what makes you so divine.

Tonight... To be honest, he was waiting for this just as much as you. He was excited, even. For your sleep and his next move in your relationship, if he could call it that.

He takes his mask and glasses off, walking closer to your bed, to your sleeping, relaxed. Asleep, more calm than usual. Just like the first night. Your breath is soft, heartrate is slow, the pills you took obviously worked. You probably took a bit more than you should have, his dumb little thing you are.

He doesn't know how it all happened, to be honest.

What he knows is, he needs you. Badly. All the time, day and night, needs to see your beauty and he needs to be close to something as perfect as you. He thought they wiped everything that could've been even close to what he feels towards you, but apparently they only made it worse.

More likely they know where he disappears every night to. They know everything, and he noticed how much easier it became to sneak out. And if they know and let it be, then he's allowed to have this. Which probably gives them even more power over him.

But he doesn't care. As long as he can see his angel, as long as he can touch something as perfect as you are, he doesn't give a fuck about what else Hydra would make him do. Consider it done. Consider it dead.

He takes his gloves off, kneeling down beside your bed. Slides your blanket off your body, and takes a deep breath. You're in your usual clothes of choice — this tempting shirt, which he often can see your nipples through, which he allows himself to touch sometimes even, and a comfy pair of underwear. He doesn't know what other men usually consider sexy, but for him it is whatever you wear. Especially this pair of panties.

Brings his hand to your thigh, more confidently than usual strokes the smooth skin up, touching the soft material of your underwear and sliding under the warmth of your shirt, to your belly. He doesn't need to be careful now. You won't wake up anyway, you're too deep in your slumber, thanks to those pills.

He almost groans only at the feeling of your soft, warm skin under his fingertips. It's not often when he touches you UNDER your clothes. Too much of a risk, he never intended to wake you up. It would mean a too big step, he doesn't need you to put up a fight and resist too much. If so, he would have to hurt you. And take you away. He's not ready to do that just yet.

But now? Now he can at least do that much without rushing things into it's natural ending. He could have you now, he could taste you now, and then he would prepare to take you somewhere where he would do that as often as possible. He just has to be patient.

For now he could just leave you a message of who you belong to. A promise, of sorts.

The bed cracked under his weight loudly, thanks god you're so deep in your sleep, and the blade shines in the moonlight, so does the hand, the whole arm. Soldier knows that what he's about to do will break you. But a broken angel is still an angel, a fallen one is not.

However, he's very clear with his messages.

Your shirt goes first. The material breaks easily on a sharp knife, he uses it to kill after all, and he's devouring every second of it. He prays that it wont be possible to erase from his mind, just like it was with you, with his angel.

"Beautiful," He breathes out, his voice hoarse and his throat hurts. He hasn't talked in quite some time.

Your shirt is no longer on his way. And oh god, seeing your chest again makes him believe in heaven, whatever this is. When you'll be his, you won't be wearing any clothes at all. It will be his personal heaven.

"So beautiful..." He lowers the knife to your chest, tracing soft skin, nipples with the backside of it. He could so easily switch the side, he could leave a permanent mark on you, a reminder of your first night as his, but he wont. Not now, at least.

Then he lowers the blade to your underwear. Two simple cuts on either sides - and it's just as dysfunctional as the shirt. But he doesn't think you'll need them anyway, now. He might as well just... Take them, as a little reminder for himself? A promise.

He lifts your pretty legs up, resting them on his shoulders when he settles in between, and slides the thorn material from under you with his flesh arm. He wants to feel this. He wants to savor every touch.

Your panties are left in the pocket of his pants, and he returns his full attention to you. Only if you knew how beautiful you are right now, naked for him, ready for him. He would show you, one day. When you would be conscious and used to him, his presence, his touches. For now, this will do.

The knife is back in it's holder, and he lowers to your warm body. Hands slide up your waist to your tits, and the left one to your neck. Metal fingers trace the warm, delicate skin, pressing ever so slightly. The only time he really focuses on how much pressure he adds. Looks just perfect on you.

He can't wait anymore.

Right hand slides off your body to lower his pants, just enough to free his almost uncomfortable erection. He was so mesmerized by your beauty that he completely forgot about himself.

Leans back slightly, once again admiring the view. His angel, so perfect and peaceful, in her sleep. Your calm face, delicate neck, chest, your belly, legs and, a fucking paradise, your pussy. He can't see much, but he knows its perfect. He had seen it, many times, on the cameras. He also knows what you play with, and where you hide it. Lower drawer of your nightstand.

Soldat leaves a trail of open mouthed kisses on your neck, tasting your skin. It's his time to enjoy, his moment to savor, so he slides his hand down to your exposed to him — only him — heat. You're wet, just a bit. Enough for him, at least. Touching you is a privilege already.

Your legs are pushed up, over his thighs. He doesn't know if he wants to hurry up or take his time, it feels like he needs both. Contradictions became natural to him since he found you.

A deep breath. He lined himself up with your entrance, stroking himself slowly, just a bit. Smearing his precum over your clit and soft folds, enjoying the moment. It's so strange to be so overwhelmed. So excited. You make him feel things he didn't knew he was able to feel, and you have no clue. You will, eventually.

He pushes in slowly, groaning and almost cumming right away, holding himself back and biting on your neck. He takes a second to remind himself about how to breathe. Unbelievable. You feel like death. The best feeling ever, the only good feeling.

When he's fully in, he thinks that calling it a heaven would've been an understatement. Your insides around him are so much more.

When he pulls out to the tip and pushes back in, that's where he could've die happily.

You're so warm. So tight, squeezing his manhood just right. It's where he belonged, it's where he feels complete and forgiven. Your walls hug his dick perfectly, and he want's to stay in there until he fades away. And he wants more.

He's greedy when he starts moving. In and out, slowly at first, but getting faster — yes, he's greedy. He's guilty in more than greed, he doesn't care. With your pussy taking him so well, with your warm body under his hands, his lips, just under him — he doesn't care. It's all his, you're his.

Oh how he wants to hear more than those sweet whimpers from you.

He can imagine. His angel, you, under him, hands gripping on his arms, you'll be begging him for more and crying for him, clamping down on him so deliciously and needy. You'll be screaming — screaming the name he can't quite imagine, he can't remember, but he knows you'll be screaming it. One day.

He will take his time to praise you, to tell you how good you are for him, angel, taking all he can give, giving all you have. He will make sure you're shaking and breaking all over again on his cock, tears smeared all over your face and you're drooling with this fucked out look on your divine face-

Oh god, more. He needs more of you, he takes all he can take.

He will leave so much marks on your body, just like now, over your chest and your neck, while you'll be squeezing him inside and begging, begging for his seed-

He cums with a groan, slurred fuck left his lips, headboard of your bed cracks under his metal hand. Aftershock hit the Soldat hard. Right hand gripping on your hip, his breath is ragged and he barely remembers how to breath correctly — he knows this feeling well, but from the bad side. Now? It's euphoric. He doesn't want it to end, he wants to die right here and there, buried deep inside of your heat, with you taking his cum so well, his beautiful angel.

He opens his eyes after what feels like a blissful eternity, his gaze slowly focuses on you under him. He can hear your breath, hard and ragged, he can see a layer of sweat over your body. Small smile cracks on his face. Even in your sleep, you accepted him. You enjoyed it.

He doesn't want to pull out, but he does so anyway. He reminds himself that it's not the last time. He'll have enough chances to do it again with you, after all. He knows what to do. He knows how. He just needs to prepare it.

Soldat looks down, mesmerized by how his seed leaks out of you. There's so much, he has to resist the urge to push it back in. Or to lick it out.

You're so perfect, his beautiful angel. But he has to go.

On a second thought...

He reaches out to your nightstand, barely even looking up from your pretty cunt, still leaking with his cum. Grabs his mask and glasses. Puts both on quickly, then grabs the remote control of your camera from his pocket, and presses on.

After all, he should be very clear with his messages.

[kayluh1915]

psssst, disclaimer…

@swiftllama: *texts me with no context* EVERY BTS THEY GET GAYER AND GAYER

Me after watching said BTS:

It's Ianthony moment breakdown time, BBY!

I know I've been gone for a while but I've really been going through it, y'all. I want to post more from here on out, but I can't make any promises. Executive disfunction and ADHD paralysis sssuuuccckkkkssss.

Anyways, back to our regularly scheduled screamings!

Also, this is from a members only video. If you can, please support Ian and Anthony directly. I do not share content outside of small Ianthony moments like these.

The noise that came out of my mouth was not human in anyway, shape, or form! Anthony has carried Ian like this before, but it was before his departure. Back then they were really stiff and awkward with each other since their friendship was strained, as they have mentioned several times. Now they're super close and don't give a flying fuck and MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT!

Sam has been keeping me up to date with everything and I just can't believe the timeline we're in. Everything else might be shit, but at least Ian and Anthony are back together and give us moments like these on the weekly! 😭They keep me sane.

ANYWAYS, I made some gifs of the moment because AHHHH and I'm going to break down the little moments that made my fandom heart flutter

Let's get to it!

Right off the bat, Ian very minorly freaks out when Anthony picks him up and immediately grips Anthony's arm. Logically, I know that anyone would grab onto the closest thing on instinct in this situation... but my Ianthony brain is screaming: "AWWW! ANTHONY MAKES HIM FEEL SAFE!!!!!!!"

Okay, my logic brain is calming down now because this gif just confirmed that Ian not only trusts Anthony whole heartedly but also FEELS SAFE! As soon as Anthony reassures him that he won't let him fall Ian relaxes and starts to let go of the death grip he has on Anthony's arm near the end of the gif.

Another demonstration of how much Ian trusts Anthony. He doesn't even flinch when he lifts him up and even has that face he makes that screams: "yeah yeah, we know Mr. Buff." after Anthony comments on how easy it is for him to hold Ian.

DUDE! The way Ian just goes limp after Anthony once again lets him know that he's got him. IT'S SO FUCKING CUTE and, again, is proof of how much he trusts him. He knows Anthony won't drop him and just decides to relax for a second, putting his full weight on Anthony's shoulders. I CANNOT! It's so intimate!!! Ian probably also took notes from Rhett's "I'm Dead" move he pulls on Link which I find hilarious.

Okay, this is my favorite one of this whole gifset. The way Anthony looks back at Ian to make sure he's still comfortable and then smiling to someone about it!?!? BRING AMBERLAMPS! MY HEART HAS STOPPED!

Damn, I needed these two in my life so badly right now. The fact that they pulled THIS SHIT just makes it so much better. I know they've said and done things more damning within the past few months, but I enjoy more intimate moments like these. Yeah, it's for a bit, but it shows just how much Anthony cares for Ian and how much Ian trusts him.

Lord have mercy, I need a nap after all of that. 😮‍💨

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

do you think the Cas of season 7 would hurt the Winchester sister?

I think not and that in one of the confrontations, the Winchester sister approaches Cas and he says something like "Take another step and I'll kill you" but she knows Cas wouldn't hurt her so she challenges him and says something like "Do it" but Cas looks at her and can't do it and that's how Dean realizes there is still something of Cas inside him

I don’t think he would, but honestly he was super screwed up for a while. I think she would try to talk him down in the very first but of season 7, when he tries to get them to bow to him. Here’s how I imagine the scene would go (written like a reader insert) right after Sam stabs Cas—

“Sam!” You try to run to your big brother while Cas pulls the angel blade out of his back, but Dean grabs onto your arms to stop you, wary of you getting too close to Cas.

“An angel blade won’t work on me because I’m not an angel anymore. I’m your new god. Now, you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your lord, or I shall destroy you.” Cas announced, unbothered by both the blade and you struggling in Dean’s arms. At Cas’s words, you froze, and Dean let go of you, stunned.

“Well, alright then,” Bobby sighed, dropping to his knees. “Is this good or do you want the whole forehead to the carpet thing?” Silence greeted his question, and he glanced sideways at Dean, then Sam. “Well, guys…”

Dean’s hand was grasping at yours, and he tugged at it, trying to bring you to your knees with him. His movement stirred you out of your confused and terrified paralysis, and you started to sink to your knees almost subconsciously.

“Stop.” Cas said before you even got halfway down. “What’s the point if you don’t mean it?”

You thought you saw a flicker of the old Cas behind his eyes—he was disappointed, almost vulnerable.

“You fear me. Not love, not respect, just fear,” Cas continued, disappointment tinging his voice as well. You opened your mouth to respond, but Sam beat you to it—

“Cas—“ he started, but Cas didn’t let him continue.

“Sam, you have nothing to say to me, you stabbed me in the back.” The old Cas was gone with just a little twitch of features. Now there was a cold indifference behind your once-friend’s eyes, his lips twitching in an almost sadistic smirk.

You felt yourself suddenly moving again, going to stand by Sam. He was only a couple of steps away from Cas, and you didn’t trust that he would be safe there.

“Don’t.” Cas’s eyes were suddenly on you. “Don’t take another step, or I will kill you.”

Your eyes flickered from Sam to Cas, then back to Sam. Sam was swaying on his feet, sweating and shaking. He was suffering the effects of remembering hell, and even though he was your big brother, you felt like you needed to take care of him now.

“Then do it,” you said, stepping past Castiel and going to Sam. You grabbed onto his arm, stabilizing him so that he wasn’t shaking so bad.

Cas stared at you for several seconds, his hands twitching as though he wanted to snap his fingers and blast you out of existence. Dean wasn’t breathing, and neither was Sam—they couldn’t bear to think of what Cas would do to you.

“You’re a bold little thing,” Cas said finally with a scoff. “And if you hadn’t been such a loyal little pet to me, you wouldn’t be breathing. Consider this your first and only warning.”

And suddenly Sam and Dean can breathe, and Dean starts to think that maybe Cas is in there somewhere after all.

[imahinatjon]

MAYBE HEADCANONS OF BSD MEN OF YOUR CHOICE WITH A READER WHO HAS A DRASTICALLY LARGE HEIGHT DIFF? IM LIKE 4'8 SO YEAH :D

I am sorry this took so long lol. I've been ill since before my last post and have gotten myself a little throat paralysis demon.

Bsd characters x SHORT reader

I chose the characters that are tall? Or at least that I think are tall.

(Dazai + Sigma + Nikolai)

Dazai

• Dazai likes how tall- short you are. It cute.

• HOWEVER. He does have his complaints.

• It's not that sometimes you need him to reach things from higher off the shelf when at home or shopping. He's more than happy to do that.

• It's not that he has to bend slightly to kiss you

• It's the fact that he's forever loosing you in crowds.

You and Dazai were on a date when you went missing. Holding hands until suddenly he looked down and you weren't there. Now, he wasn't worried anyone had taken you... well, maybe a bit, but he was sure you could handle yourself. He just wasn't sure he couldn't handle it.

"You really ought to stop jumping to the worst conclusions" he jumped when he heard your voice, turning to see you standing right beside him once again

" just because you loose sight of me doesn't mean I've been kidnapped"

"Can never be too careful" he replied, reaching to hold your hand again so you could carry on.

Sigma

• So, your short. Okay. That's fine.

• Honestly, he doesn't get why it's an issue.

• He thinks it's cute. Also makes him feel useful when you can't reach things from higher shelves.

• He has the casino, and that's his life basically, but now he's also got you, and he'd like to keep it that way.

• Hence why he insists on reaching everything for you.

• It's not an issue, really! He likes seeing you safe, and not climbing precariously.

Sigma loves you, he really does, but sometimes your incredibly frustrating. He doesn't mind letting you wonder around the casino on your own, but what he does mind is when you get hurt walking around the casino alone... hes writing his lecture about climbing while he waits for you to come back. He's probably not the best person to be giving lectures, but there is literally no one else to do it.

You should he expecting a pretty little envelope on his desk addressed for you to read.

Nikolai

• Your his arm rest.

• Sorry but you are. There's no getting around it.

• Sometimes, when he's not even near you, you'll feel a pressure ontop of your head.

• So you look up, look around and spot nikolai with his arm in his cloak.

• He's resting on your head from across the room.

• He does it purely to annoy you.

• If it doesn't really annoy you? He'll just find another way.

• Its his form of affection.

You were discussing something with Fyodor. About what? Who knows, it's not important.

You noticed throughout your talk he kept looking above you, and of course. You could only roll your eyes, you knew exactly what he was looking at. Your boyfriend. One specific man called Nikolai.

He was using his ability to mess with you again. You'd get him.

Nikolai did this often, and usually you only ducked down and moved away, you never retaliated. So when you tugged on his arm rather roughly, he was caught just a little off guard, suddenly beside you in the room, his eyes moved between you and Fyodor.

"We're trying to have an important conversation" fyodor sighed

"I'll see you later" you said, kissing his cheek gently and continuing your prior buisness.

_________________________________________

Short and sweet. Kinda rushed bc I've been thinking on it for ages 🥲

Xx

[didderd]

i had a sleep paralysis nightmare this morning.

so i decided to make content out of it 👍

but really, sometimes if i'm not feeling well, i daydream about one of the characters i simp really like helping/comforting me.

n this time i started daydreaming about Nightmare comforting me. bc this was the worst sleep paralysis i ever had, and it left me feeling on edge for a bit after waking up. (i don't usually get nightmare-ish sleep paralysis)

n so i decided to make it into a little Nightmare x reader drabble where reader has a sleep paralysis nightmare, based on the one i had this morning.

this goes from horror to fluff real quick lmao. hope yall like it! :>

if you want to skip the sleep paralysis, go straight to the pink sentence!

(tw: sleep paralysis. sleep paralysis demon.)

_________

You're laying in bed, with half of your vision blocked by the hood of your jacket. All you can see is your bed.

You go to lift your hood.

But you can't move.

But you feel your arms move.

You feel yourself move to grab your hood. As heavy as it may feel, you're sure you did it.

But your hood is still there.

You don't see your hand.

Panic wells up in your stomach. You can't move. You can't see.

Gathering the little strength you have in your groggy state, you try to push yourself into a sitting position.

Again, you feel yourself scoot up the wall behind you.

But you don't see anything change.

Your vision feels frozen.

Closing your eyes, you try again to push your hood up.

When you open them, you can see your hand grabbing your hood.

But your hood is still there. and your hand is frozen in place. even though you feel it at your side again.

It's like your vision is broken.

But closing your eyes helped?

You close your eyes, and attempt to push yourself up again.

Opening your eyes, you think you're sitting up now. at least a little bit.

You close your eyes again and attempt once more to push your hood off your head.

It's off your head. You feel it on your neck.

When you open your eyes, you're laying down and your hood is blocking half your vision.

You try again.

You're sitting up. You can see your room.

You can see your window.

Something passes by your window. A shadowy figure. It looked humanoid, but were those antlers?

You're scared.

It happens again.

Your mother is in the room now. You're trying to ask for help, but she seems confused, and you can't get the words out.

She's standing near the window. Not too close, but you're scared.

Something. someone. appears at the window. but not outside it. They're inside.

Their eyes are wide, and they have an unsettling smile. Something about them seems deeply wrong.

You try to scream, and point at them to alert your mother.

Nothing but air comes out.

When your mother turns around, she only seems more confused. She doesn't see them.

Are you hallucinating?

You see something else in the corner of your eye. A dark figure.

You turn your head to look at it.

... Nightmare?

It's Nightmare. He's standing at the foot of your bed. Looking at you with a calm, yet concerned expression.

You remember you'd been living in his castle for a while now. This is your room in the castle... So why is your mother here?

Looking back, your mother and the unsettling person is gone.

Everything seems clearer. You feel like you can move better.

You look back at Nightmare as he walks closer. "Nightmare?" You spoke. You can speak again.

He stops next to you and places a hand on your head, comfortingly petting your hair. "You are safe. It is only sleep paralysis." His tone is soft, made to comfort you, and it works. You feel some of the fear melt away. You feel protected.

"Sleep paralysis?" You remember what it is, and it makes sense, but you ask anyways.

"Yes." He leans down and places the hand not petting your hair on your chest, just below your collar bones. "You should wake up now."

Everything fades out.

And you open your eyes.

Nightmare is sitting in a chair next to your bed, with a hand on your forehead. He'd pushed the hood off your eyes while you were asleep.

He opens his eye a second after you, and smiles warmly. "There you are."

You blink up at him, but immediately decide not to do that again, as the fear of falling back in runs through you. Instead, you decide to sit up, and Nightmare retreats his hand as you do, looking slightly more concerned, as he likely noticed your fear.

He places the same hand on your back to rub soothingly, and leans a bit closer, using the other to gently guide your chin to look at him. "Don't worry. You are safe.. I'm here." His words are firm, but so gentle.

Your face is warm at how intimate his hand on your chin feels, and his very smooth and handsome voice in your ears, yet it also helps so much to relax you and make you feel safe.

Half to distract from the warmth in your face, even though he's definitely noticed, judging by how his expression turns more smug than concerned, and half out of genuine curiosity, you finally speak. "Um... was that- was that really you in my dream?"

It seems to work to distract him as he answers. Moving his hand from your chin to tuck some hair out of your face as he does so.

"Darling, that wasn't a dream, that was a nightmare." His expression regains a bit of concern for a moment as he pauses, but it's gone before he speaks again. "But yes, that was me. I'd felt your fear as I was passing by your room, and when I came in, I saw that you were having a nightmare, so I decided to lend my aid." His hand had moved from your hair once he was done righting it, and is now resting on the bed, next to your thigh.

"I'm sure you know of my ability to enter and control dreams and nightmares. Sleep paralysis is no different. I was happy to help you out of yours, little shadow." His smile is fond as he raises his hand once more to cup your cheek, and rub his thumb over it, leaning a little closer as he does.

Your cheeks feel warm again, at how close he is, and how gentle his hand is on your cheek. You can't help the urge to lean into his touch, and so you don't even try to fight it, placing your hand over his as you lean into it.

Even though you know you weren't in any real danger, you still feel like he saved you. You're grateful to him. You're not sure how to repay him, but you do know what you so badly want to do in this moment.

Placing your free hand over his collar bone and lightly grip at his sweater, you lean a bit closer to his face, and look down at his mouth. but you stop there and look to the side.

You retreat that bit you'd just leaned in, your face feeling much warmer now. You don't know what you're doing. Maybe your lack of good sleep gave you too much confidence. As if The Guardian of Negativity would want to kiss you. What were you thinkin-

Nightmare chuckles. You look back at him with widened eyes.

His smug expression is mixed with that of fondness... You sometimes forget that he can basically read your mind... Fuck.

You look away again. Your face feels like it's burning.

But you quickly look back when he gets much. much closer. His hand moving from your cheek to the side of your neck, and brushing into the hair on the back of your head, while his other hand slides down your back to the lower half.

He chuckles again, no doubt at how red your face is, and your shocked expression. "Darling, if you thought I wouldn't want to kiss you just as bad as you want to kiss me right now, you'd be sorely mistaken.~" He just about purrs, inches from your mouth.

The hairs on your neck and arms stand as he speaks, and both your hands ball into his sweater over his chest. You didn't think you could get warmer, but you do.

His cheeks are looking a little flushed too as the lid over his socket lowers, and he looks down at your lips, before slowly, and gently closing the gap.

It's a very tender and loving kiss. Not what you were expecting coming from him, but it's amazing.

You lean into it the moment the shock melts away. You feel like you're melting in his arms.

After another long, blissful moment, he pulls away, before picking you up to move you over and make room for him on your bed, and climbs in next to you.

Once he's laid down, he pulls you close again, and combs through your hair, nuzzling your face, before sighing into your cheek, and then kissing it. "You make me soft..."

You're so full of warm feelings right now, it's almost overwhelming, and you hope it's not overwhelming for him. It's all so hard to believe, but seems so genuine. More genuine than you'd ever seen Nightmare. To think he'd let his guard down so much with you.

You almost let out a giddy giggle as you bury your warm face in his sweater, just under his chin, and he wraps his arm tighter around you, using one of his tentacles to pull your blanket over both of you.

As you lay comfortable and warm in his arms, feeling his chest rise and fall against you with his breath, you start to feel yourself falling back to sleep. You forget you even had that nightmare before all this.

The last thing you hear and feel before you're asleep again is Nightmare placing a kiss on the top of your head and speaking, almost in a whisper.

"Goodnight, little shadow."

[before-it-felt-like-a-sin]

Could I maybe request LottiexFem!reader headcanons where reader is wayy shorter than Lottie? Just fluff and forehead kisses and reader being the little spoon.<33

btw- I love your work!! Keep it up.:]

Height Difference Lottie Matthews Headcanons

this is so fun and silly also tysm for the complement 😭😭

I'm so envisioning Lottie like using you as an armrest

Obviously you're like "screw you" but she does it anyways

The arm on your head is her go-to pose for couples pics too

She also constantly rests your head on top of yours because come on! You're the perfect height!

Whenever you want to initiate a kiss you have to like... drag her down or ask her to lean over

She thinks it's adorable but you hate it

Lottie used to be really insecure about her height, like especially when she thought she had to date guys

She didn't want to be taller than her boyfriend!!

But then she realized she didn't want a boyfriend

Even then she was like hm do I really want to be this tall

And then she met you and you were short as hell and like couldn't reach the top shelf at the grocery store

So now she loves being tall

Speaking of the grocery store...

The girl doesn't even let you TRY to reach high up

"I could've gotten that" "with a step-stool maybe" "fuck off"

You guys do in fact have a stool at your apartment for you to use when Lottie isn't home

She bought it because you kept standing on chairs and falling from them (from personal experience this is hell. I need to buy a stool)

You boycotted said stool in the beginning but eventually were like "okay this makes my life significantly easier"

Obviously Lottie is normally the big spoon

But sometimes, like if she's sick or had a bad day, you spoon her

It's almost comical

You're like a backpack on her because of the height difference

She appreciates the effort if not the delivery

Not height related but she braids your hair. She loves messing with it too. Like yall will just be standing there and then you realize you have like 7 tiny braids in your hair

Okay back to her being so hella tall

You definitely tried to give her a piggyback ride once

Needless to say that that didn't end up working out

If we're thinking like a more modern setting Lottie absolutely used her height to her advantage when taking 0.5 pictures of you

She had a whole album dedicated to them

The insta birthday posts are absolutely horrendous

If you ever wake up and Lottie's standing somewhere in your bedroom you're like "there's my sleep paralysis demon" for a second

And then you're like "oh whoops that's my tall as hell gf"

Also forehead kisses happen so often

Lottie thinks it's a pain to bend down to your lips every time she wants to kiss you

So most of the time it's like right on your hairline or just the top of your head

The amount of lipgloss in your hair is astronomical

Cuddling with her is so nice though because she's so much taller than you and you feel so safe with her

Like not only is she probably strong as fuck but she's also tall? Goddamn

Sometimes you lay on top of her like a weighted blanket and she's so here for it

She tried to do it to you once but it didn't have the same affect

When yall do dishes you wash them/unload the dishwasher and she puts the dishes away because she can reach the shelves and you can't

Around Christmas and your birthday she hides your gifts on the top shelf of your closet

Lottie's just such a cutie I love these

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.166 Best fraaaand

Sophia is still high on our late night shenanigans, just as I planned. I mean, she isn't the type of woman who often wakes up in bad moods, but I couldn't chance it for what I am about to ask. Just as she's heading to the bathroom, I bring it up casually, as if I have just remembered it. No dirty looks so far, so I continue, putting special emphasis on Yasmine being concerned about her children. That part disarms her, like it did to me last night, even though she isn't very guarded anyway. She is low key nosy like me, so she agrees we can go see her later that evening.

She goes to the bathroom, and I scoop up Desiree and head downstairs for breakfast. I have to pee too, so I set her on the play mat because the pooping together era is over. Twenty-ish seconds later, I go back to put her in the high chair but she isn't there! I stare at the empty play mat for a few seconds, trapped in a vortex of terror. I lost my child! How in the world could I lose my child in the house? Where did she go that fast?? This house isn't that big, and she can't climb stairs or open doors, so I shake myself out of that brief paralysis and look for her. That's when I hear cute little grunts steps just a few steps from me. She's trying to pull herself up on the couch! Wait...she's crawling?! This little lady has been full of surprises, and I'm so proud that she is figuring things out on her own and exploring what she can do with these new skills she's learned, but I can't fully shake myself out of that panic mode and keep beating myself up for leaving her alone in the first place.

Pulling up is relatively safe, but I don't want her hitting her head on the coffee table if she falls back the wrong way. But she's having so much fun, and I don't want to impede her adventures, so I pick her up and put her some place more safe to crawl around. We really need to baby proof this place now.

I watch her for a few moments, in awe that we didn't have to teach her how to crawl. The dogs ran in from outside and saw Desiree crawling around, so Kooper came to meet her, officially. Honestly, I was surprised it was him and not Rosie considering her curiosity. He sat right next to her, and Desi's eyes lit up like she had just discovered something magical. She reached out and touched him, and Kooper, my little Lothario, gave her a big kiss right on the nose. Desi did not know what to do with that.

She seemed put off by it at first, but then he went in for another and she giggled and tried to block him. He and I are gonna have a chat later about boundaries and respecting women, tee hee hee.

If I didn't know what infant joy looked like before, I know now. Desi's world has been completely changed for she's now experienced puppy love, heh. I am sooooo glad I got them those age down treats. Desi has a friend now, and her life will never be the same.

[macsimagines]

sleep paralysis demon ran? halloweeny enough?

very spooky and yandere, but also hilarious because i just watched that brandon rodgers sleep demon video lmfao

TW: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, MINORS DNI, DEMONS, NON-CON TOUCHING, SOMONOPHILIA , Weird warning but the gif i used in this is scary so pls be aware

Yandere!Sleep Demon Ran Haitani

You're just the cutest, Ran has always thought so from the moment his eyes met yours. And he was terrifying. You always thought so ever since he started haunting you as a kid.

Ran learned very quickly that he needs to feed off of fear in order to live, and he picked up on the fact that children were the easiest to scare. And you were always so scared of him darling.

It was almost like when a boy bullies another girl in his class because he had a crush, except the boy was another worldly being that decided you were going too be his personal meal for the rest of your life.

As a little girl he'd always find ways to torture your paralyzed form from everything like pinching to pulling on your hair and sometimes when he was feeling more sadistic biting.

You tried to get help, told anyone that would listen but no one wanted to listen to you cry about the monster hiding in your closet anymore and so you were left to bear Ran's sadistic bullying alone.

Over the years he got better at it too. Jump scares weren't having the same effect anymore you got too used to it over the years, but that fine because he was smart enough to evolve his tactics.

He got very good at creeping out of corners you could just barely see out of the corner of your eyes. Knowing that he was there but being unable to fully make out what he was going to do to you.

Somehow Ran trained himself to be able to whisper at you from all angles making you confused about where his voice was coming from and where he was really hiding at. Sometimes the things he would say would vary from threats, to maniacal laughs to down right unhinged.

"Keep shaking, baby girl, you look so tasty~ Can't wait to take a fuckin' bite out of you~!" "HAHAHAHAHA! Lookit how scared you are? Don't even know what I'm gonna do or where I'm comin' from!?" "You're so fuckin' beautiful. You're all mine~"

Years go by and you're an adult who will never truly have a good nights sleep. It doesn't matter whether or not he's really there and if he's really messing with you. You're too paranoid to sleep more than four hours without worrying if he's going to show up.

He's learned not to push you too far, he can't have his favorite meal going off the deep end. He needs you around. So he'll leave you alone for weeks, just sitting where he knows you can see him, watching...smiling.

Ran delights in terrifying you, the way your eyes go wide and your body shakes, unable to do anything. The way your body breaths so hard and heavy desperate to make any sound for help but choked by his force to keep your fucking mouth shut. He enjoys all of that but truthfully...

Ran loves to watch you sleep. Your delicate features when your relaxed, how soft your body is when you feel safe instead of rigid when you think you're in danger. Your lips slightly parted just enough for him to kiss...

It's unimaginable to a creature like him, but he does find himself wanting to be...affectionate to you. So he lets himself touch you gently, allows himself the privledge of being soft.

And this terrifies you even more... Your fear is so delectable when he's just looking down at you, hands rubbing your arms to soothe the aches he knows you have from working all day, brush the hair away from your face so he can take good looooong look at how cute you are...

Why are you so scared? He isn't trying to be scary right now? He wants to be nice to you. To be good to you... But you're just staring wide eyed and crying even.

"I just wanna touch, just be good and let me touch." he whispers gently, like you'd even have a choice or say in the matter. He wonders if he could have an actual conversation what you might say...

But its the curse of his people, human interaction beyond feeding is forbidden and his biology makes it so you naturally paralyze at the sight of him. Isn't that a shame...

"I just want to feel," he whispers to you crawling onto your bed to really get a good look at you, "Just want to know," he continues running his hand down your sides, you really are so warm, "How soft you really are."

[livvy-fallen]

More animalistic headcannons about the demon bros and demons behavior in general because my hunger (just like Beelzebub) can never be filled. I hope I feed you well my children.

Do I even have to say it is Segestive?

So last time I briefly talked about mating calles. And I stay firm on that. Not only that but I one up that. And that's by the fact I believe that there's demonic language which to humans just sound like hisses, growling and chrips. There is 9 versions of demonic tounges. Of course the 7 sins each is a different animal so it makes sense? And 2 is the general like one that everyone that is devil born can read and write in if taught. Then theres a version for royals. If your like Solomon you can only speak a few words before you throat starts to bleed. It's to harsh for human vocal cords. It rips them apart.

However that doesn't mean you can't copy the specific animals. Only a couple words without any chancees with your vocal cords being ripped apart. After all their just animal noises , humans can mimic that anyways. For example if you hear Levi hiss you can copy it without much issue.

Now lets talk about how demons are fucking SCARYYYY

Because they are still man-eating demons. They have environment changes to eat humans. No matter what that's still hardwired into their system and never will leave. So yes do no worry if you see a pair of bright purple eyes looking at you at nighttime. Ignore how you can't move, it's just the 7th born's demon powers causing sleep paralysis. To them it's just a future meal he can share with his family. Don't worry, he was only checking on the human. he would never eat your soul... Let's hope yes? Just ignore the scratching on the walls you're ears pick up when Lucifer has to lock him away... Again.Don't question why you feel their sins often. Their not doing it on purpose... Most times.

Ignore when you hear their voice and you go to the room and see their not their. Probably on the ceiling. They forget that human just can't decide that being on the floor is so boring and love the wall.

For demons they are very unaware that humans aren't used to seeing demons or don't have the same strength. It also goes through same way for humans. Demons don't have what we consider adrenaline.. Well they do but not exactly. They can push themselves harder when they are in panic but it doesn't wear off like ours. It also isn't as good as what humans ares. Demons are strong anyways they can use more power then needed so they don't really have any their bodies can take all of their power unlike how we restrain ours so their brain doesn't really go past it's limites when adrenaline is added. So imagine their shock when you were in the underground tomb and as your going to get murdered you can suddenly pick up Beelzebub and Luke and run like fuck to get them safe.

It probably also surprised belphegor when all the sudden the weak human had enough strength where you could fight back and run to get yourself hurt. Of course you didn't manage to escape in time. But you left him with a hard to heal nose and a scar. (will definitely be writing a fic where you do survive because of your adrenaline)

Another thing is that demons have a natural sense of hierarchy in their families. The oldest you are the higher you are in power. This is mostly because the oldest tend to be stronger than their younger siblings. So while belphegor definitely does get pampered by his older siblings so do you. You are the youngest and the weakest. Sorry just true most human if not all can be as strong as a demon let a alone a avatar of a sin. So yes, in the later game if you complain or show any sign of pain you better get ready to deal with 6 clingy demons. Lucifer will simply do that in private if not life threatening.

I also fully believe that in heat demons are very.. Unhinged. For an example you wake up to a very happy Satan and Beelzebub at the foot of your bed with body covering them as you have a demon or an poor animal that crossed their path. Their only trying to show they can provide! Cue confused demons as you scream and call for another demon to help. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?! "Why are you screaming? Are you not in the mood for food? no no stop crying" "Not hungry but they haven't eaten in awhile!" WHAT THE FUCK?! I Suggest you sleep with your door locked. Not like it would stop them but it gives you warning to expect a dead body.

Do expect to randomly be pulled in a nest made by anyone during this. Fight all you want you are getting smothered in blankets and soft items AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT. The main nest makers in this household are going to be Mammon are belphi. A close one is Lucifer but he doesn't really do it in public. His room is under strong lock and key during this.

Do expect to get harassed when you try to wake up. You try to get up and your getting tackled by the all the 7 sins. You will be cuddled because your "scent" Lord kill me I'm so sorry is stronget at the morning. Your clothes? GONE. Your blankets? GONE. NOT SEEING THEM AGAIN your dignity? NON EXISTENT. You will be robbed of everything you own and will be found in one of the brothers nest. Which then you will be washing it so much because I mean... Do I have to explain? Especially Asmo douse anything you get back from the the embodiment of lust with the finest laundry detergent, Holly water either from Michael or God themselves and hand sanitizer.

Yes the demons are gonna be sore. If you have a period you know when everything and anything that can be sore is sore. That's that from them. If they are winged they will always have their wings out. 1 because achey. 2 presenting to either get or doing the dick downing. They are also going to preen/clean their wings every so often. 1 a day at max. Do be careful where you step please. You try to leave the nest by some miracle you do. Tails and wings are everywhere. One wrong step and your setting off every demon in the HOL.

This is shit. This is very crappy. Please make more creative/ animalistic hc.. I beg 🙏

once again asks and requests are open and I yearn to see one

[hello-nichya-here]

I have a question that might be offensive, and I'm sorry in advance for any hurt it may cause. I've been trying to search for an answer online for a while but I'm not able to find a proper one, and hoped you could help me.

From what I have gathered, autistic people do not wish for there to be a cure for autism, which I understand because well, it would change your brain and the way you view the world. Some even insist it cannot exist (which I'm not so sure about but whatever). My main question is, there are thousands of people out there who are affected by some kinds of ASD so severe that they can never lead a proper life, will never mentally develop beyond a child, and often have to live through agonizing pain and overstimulation. When it comes to these cases, would they not prefer a cure? So wouldn't it be more ethical for a cure to exist, but taking the cure not be compulsory? Those people are obviously not on social media, so their voices go unheard. But wouldn't they and their loved ones not want them to be in pain?

Thanks in advance.

First off, here's why a "cure" is indeed impossible: autism is a neurotype, not a disease. It's not the brain or any organ/system doing something it shouldn't or being damaged by some internal and/or external factor. An autistic brain functions DIFFERENTLY, not DEFECTIVELY, though obviously there is a variety of ways in which it manifests, and it is very rare for an autistic person to be ONLY autistic, there's often one, or more, conditions affecting them at the same time (anxiety, ADHD, schizophrenia, depression, OCD, etc). It is also likely a result of multiple cromossomes working in atypical ways (unlike with Down Syndrome, which is a result of cromossome 21 and ONLY 21 working differently) - and we still don't know which ones, or even how many said cromossomes are.

What does all of that mean for a cure? It means that:

1 - To make an autistic person non-autistic it'd need to be possible to discover it when they're still a fetus and somehow force their brain and entire nervous system to form differently - both things modern science can't do and that we're not sure will EVER be possible.

2 - It is very likely that even if a cure is possible, it will NOT be a one-size-fits-all kind of deal, and it will work on some cases and be useless in others.

So it is already a far, far, FAR more complicated deal than just "If we put enough money, time and effort into it, we can find a cure." Part of the reason why many autistic people are sick of nearly every fucking charity about autism being focused on a cure is because, instead of that money going directly to us or to our caretakers (be it family or any form of hospice/home) and having a very real positive effective, that money goes into searching for a something that might genuinely not be biologically possible.

This is sadly the common history for nearly every group under the large umbrella of Disabled People. Sign Language was discouraged and even made ILLEGAL in some countries long before there were was a reliable, safe way to allow deaf people to hear. There are THOUSANDS of horror stories about people with any form of paralysis or mobility issues being just let root and die in their beds, even after all kinds of mobility aids were invented because "it's a burden to the caretakers" and a "miserable life to live anyway." A disabled athlete in Canada has recently complained about lack of accessibility and was offered EUTHANASIA as a solution because God forbid someone has to build a ramp.

The sad reality is that many non-disabled people are only interested in helping us if the help is guaranteed to make us 100% "normal." If it will gives us a decent, and sometimes fully/mostly independent life, but not make us able-bodied/neurotypical it is NEVER considerd "good enough", and is often talked about as a "set-back for the cure." Giving us ways to communicate our needs, find emotional support, employment, or at the very least multiple sources of aid that will allow our families to not be on "caretaker mode" 24/7 and to not fear what might happen to us once they pass away is considered A SET BACK. Because we're not "cured", but are also not dead.

They're focused on trying to "solve the mystery that will totally lead us to the cure IN THE FUTURE", but never on hearing our VERY basic requests for stuff that would greately improve our lives NOW - Autism Speaks, the largest autism "charity" (hate-group that literally uses "therapy" created by nazis to "help" us) literally popularized the myths that we don't know ANYTHING about autism, how it happens or how to help people with it, and making the "official autism symbol" be a fucking puzzle piece.

The "finding a cure is more important than anything" narrative talks over the needs of EVERY autistic person in existence, including the ones that cannot express their opinion or understand their own condition enough to HAVE an opinon, and yes, including the ones that actively WANT to be "cured."

And speaking of people who do genuinely want to be "cured" of their autism: it is extremely naive of you to think there's any change a cure wouldn't be made mandatory if it existed, and that the choice would be left to the individual, or even to a parent/caretaker on the more "extreme" cases.

Like I said before, things like Sign Language were made ILLEGAL in many countries for the crime of helping disabled have a better life without curing them. We still have cases of doctors operating deaf babies/toddlers without the parents consent. Wheelchair users constantly complain that people just randomly decide to "help" them by pushing their chair towards where they assume the person wants to go, without saying a word to them, without letting them change direction and sometimes even being careless enough to fuck up the chair.

Disabled people CONSTANTLY get called stupid or selfish for not opting for long, expensive treatments that will often only TEMPORARELY make them abled-bodied because being "normal/not a burden" should be more important than anything, including the completely unnecessary and often brutal emotional turmoil of getting used to a "normal" life just go then have to get used to being disabled again. And yes, autistic peoplel, from the completely indepent ones to the ones that need constant care, who have said they would NEVER take a cure for it if one existed, ALREADY get condescending, and sometimes openly hateful, comments about it all day, every day, everywhere. For saying we don't want to take the IMAGINARY pill that can "fix" us.

Our lives are already considered lesser, our opinions are already disregarded, and our bodily autonomy is already denied constantly (see the more "harmless" things like people that think it's funny to force hugs and kisses on those of us who hate most physical contact, to doctors that have injured or KILLED us through unnecessary, often violent means of restraining us during meltdowns). If a cure existed, we'd be straight up forced, or at least constantly pressured, to take it. There's a reason WE are the only ones discussing how unethical it'd be to force us to be "cured", while most neurptypicals have not even heard of that objection, and half would get mad at us for being "ungrateful" - after all, they spent so much time, money and effort on this thing (that we've been rejecting from day one), we can't just refuse it like that!

I know you probably mean well, anon, but the sad reality is that nearly every talk of "curing" autism (and almost anything that is considered a disability) is often rooted on nothing but society's very open disgust and disdain towards our very existence, not a genuine desire to make sure we're safe and happy - and as you can imagine, we're mad that we constantly have to justify our right to be alive and actually listened to, not spoken over by people who are "trying to help" by telling us to shut up and be glad that they're trying to make us "normal."

[fertilize-my-eggs]

Baby fever yandere shigaraki x chubby fem reader noncon smut 

A/n: this took me two days of writing this and it's based on my post and my baby fever, I couldn't help it🥴💦💦 p.s. I know it's bad, leave me alone. AO3

Warnings: scummy shigaraki + choking kink + creampies + body worship + violent + tomura kidnaps reader + breeding + dead dove DO NOT EAT. MINORS/ANTIS/AGELESS DNI !!

Shigaraki never once thought of having children in his life nor caring about relationships, his main goal was to destroy hero society and make it better. He was at the mall casually walking too deep in his thoughts.

Tomura never thought about it until he saw you, he was breathless to the least. Your curvy body, the way you bounce happily coming out of a hot topic with hello kitty merch, very girly items too. He couldn't help but want to kidnap and lock you in his room to fill you up for hours… Then his thoughts start to get more dirtier by the minute, he bites his scarred lips to stop the groans coming out.

He thought about knocking you up and filling his semen inside your womb to imagine if your belly would get bigger.

His body has a mind of its own instead of heading to the gamestop for games, his main goal was to get you alone.

He quietly follows behind you, he almost laughs at how you clearly weren't looking at your surroundings and happily humming heading home.

What? Just because there heros around doesn't mean you're safe.

Once you're heading to a dark alley it was His time to strike quick to his feet, he put his hand around your throat and almost choked you while you're struggling. It turns out you're putting up a fight, the items fell to the trash cover ground.

Tomura had to wrestle with you until he pinned you down on your back with his hand on your throat. Your frightened tearing eyes were turning him on more.

" Wow… you're a pain.. but fuck I love it when they fight back. " Your eyes were dilating fast, he felt your legs trying to kick or thrust your hips up to get him off of you but it was making him grunt out.

" Ooohh I see you're still fighting back. " He chuckled darkly. " Stop struggling more or you will accidentally disintegrate by my quirk. " His pinky wiggled close to your neck as your eyes were practically bulging out and went limp. Mhmm fuck, that hot he thought to himself.

" Heeh good now you're listening.. you gotta be good for me and your life wouldn't be wasted. " He leans in to lick the side of your face up to your ear as he begins nipping it.

He can hear your choked out cries and sob for help.

He can't wait to take you ' home ' and break you down until you're nothing but wanted him and his cock only.

He grabs both of your hands up and finally releases the hold of your neck, costing you to gasp for air and breathing heavily.

" You're coming wit-.. "

He felt a wetness on his cheeks as he realized you spit at him.

" Fuck you-.. " he begins to choked you more as he begin to tsk at you.

" Such a fucking brat… don't worry I'm planning on destroy that attitude of yours. " Your eyes went wide, he's waiting for you to lose consciousness, your eyes blinked fast and you're starting to feel lightheaded.

He chuckled again as your body isn't moving.. 

You slowly wake up, was it a dream.. you feel comfortable in the soft sheets only to realize this isn't your bed nor your room.

You begin to move only to hear rattle noises, your eyes see both your ankles and wrists in chains.

" Oh good you're awake so we can have some fun. " Chills running down your spine as you see him in the chair with the bright colorful light coming from his computer.

He slowly turns around as you start to cry out, he looks like a sleep paralysis demon that you get from nightmares and this is one of them that turns into reality.

" Please I don't wanna be here I-.. " he begins to get up and walk close to you so close that you see his red eyes stare into your soul.

"Shut up, you talk too much… oh I know." You started to gag out as he shoved three fingers in your throat, you mentally remember his quirk and his deadly hands touching your tongue.

"Aww where that back talk? Struggling to answer that baby." He purrs at you, your head is pulled away roughly as you look into his cold heartless stare.

"You're gonna take what I give you." You watch his smile turn more sinister by the second. " I'll impregnate you, giving you our greatest spawn of life. " Your lip starts to shake in fear. 

"You… you can't DO THAT-! I DON'T WANT THIS!!" You scream at him only to laugh at your face. 

He proceeds to decay his own clothes off as you keep screaming at him to stop.

Tomura has enough of your screams so he shoved his throbbing manhood into your mouth, you bit his dick only for you to get slapped in the face hard.

Your hiccups sobs were only the thing echoing in the room.

Tomura shoves his length back into your mouth as you begin to suck more and licking the underside of his cock.

"Aww the baby finally got their bottle, are you calm now brat?" Tomura coo at you as if you're an infant.

His narrow hips thrust into your mouth as he starts to get rough and fast, you couldn't fight back or push his hips away from these chains.

He groans loud as he grabs a handful of your hair making you focus down more of his cock.

He quickly pulls away and you pant like a dog in heat.

Shigaraki gets on the bed as you begin to shake uncontrollably so that you know what is coming.

He grabs his hot throbbing dick tap your clit then begins to hotdog your entrance, his cock between your lips as he groans out.

"Please… stop." He chose to ignore your pleas and went fast. You felt his tip almost hit your entrance and finally you gave in.

You look into his lustful eyes as he stares back at you unsettling.

"Please… fuck me." Tomura pauses as he tilts his head to the side.

"What?" You turned away embarrassed but he forcefully grabbed your chin to make you look at him.

"Say it again." Your eyes twitch with anxiety.

"Please fuck me-.." no waring shigaraki slammed his cock inside of you costing you to scream out.

Your cries didn't last long as Tomura began to aggressively make out with you, he slid his slimy tongue inside as your tongues fight for dominance but clearly tomura was stronger than you.

The pain in your lower abdomen gets stronger each time shigaraki slammed his hips to yours.

The squenching rings in your ears and the sound he makes, deep growls and scratchy whines.

You feel hot liquid in your womb to realize he is reaching his orgasm.

His cock twitching as his semen fills you up.

You watch tomura's hand move to your ankles and proceed to decaying the metal chain, your legs now free.

Shigaraki pushing your thick thighs over your chest, making you into a mating press and pounding into your tight hole.

The sweat coming down from his face as your cry echo out more and your fingers dig on your palms, this fucking hurts.

Tomura sighs heavily as you feel more of his cum hitting your walls.

You start to notice your belly getting bigger… holy shit.. how much cum does he have ??

"Fuck… look at you." Tomura grabs your chin as he makes you stare into his lustful crimson eyes.

"Carrying all my babies inside of you.. aughh fuck." His hand goes to your belly areas and proceeds to rub it with care and gentleness.

It catches you off guard, his thrusts heavy and rough but his hand movement seems more careful and sincere.

Your eyes roll back and scream out, you don't know how many orgasms you've gotten up to but you start to feel lightheaded and overstimulated.

Tomura twisted your body around so you were on your knees, it was an uncomfortable position.

Shigaraki begins to aggressively bite your shoulder area, your neck covered up with bruises and bite marks.

Your tear sliding down your face as you felt his hands caressing your swollen belly then grabs your hips to get more rough, you felt his tip hitting your cervix, your cries louder each time he hit it.

" Shit I'm coming again aughh fuck-! " Tomura wraps his arms around your neck putting you in choke hold.

The ringing echo in your ears and you start to reach your high, you never had this intense orgasm in your life. The skin slapping skin, heavy cries and choked out moans were music to his ear.

Your wall contracting around his cock making him reach his end, more cum filled you up, you can feel his sticky heavy liquid sliding down your thick thighs.

It all went quiet, only the sound of his breathing and the smell of sex and sweat in the air.

Tomura removes his arm from your neck, you can feel it hot and hurting.

Shigaraki leans in to give soft kisses to your face, you feel numb, your body limp, unable to move.

"Don't worry baby, I'm letting you rest so we can go for more rounds." He removed himself as he put new boxers on as he moved to the computer.

"I'll clean you up after I finish, don't make a peep." You were too tired to make a sound or more.

Heavy sleep slowly consumes you.

[gorgeouslypink]

I can't believe I'm acctually sending a success story. So late at night yesterday, I was just scrolling on tumblr and I saw your post about sabatoging yourself and honestly you were right. I was the "expecting your experience to take as long as someone else's" I would always stop around 25 minutes because I saw a comment say that they got sleep paralysis by then and since I hadn't, it must mean I wasn't supposed to enter. But honestly your post made sense so I played the video and I put it in loop. I didn't even pay attention to time . I affirmed and I'll be honest, my mind wandered a lot but I just tried to constantly get myself back on track and I entered the void. I manifested revising a car accident I was in recently. I just recently got my driver's license and so I got into a lot of trouble for the accident. It honestly wasn't a big accident but then the woman lawyered up and claimed she was injured in the accident. It's crazy because she was literally driving a van and not in the side that was even hit and I was in a small Hyundai and on the side that got hit and I'm literally fine and neither of our cars were damaged except for a little bump on mine, plus it was her fault, but she was trying to get that bag ig 🙃 and it was just a big deal and my parents were constantly yelling at me about it everyday and I wasn't allowed to drive so I just manifested that never happened and when I woke up, I knew it hadn't happened. I was able to drive and no one said anything. No more long calls with my insurance company. No more yelling. I literally blasted Karma by Taylor Swift all day long yesterday while driving because while I didn't manifest anything to happen to that woman, I know karma will get her while I stay thriving.

Anyways, I'm going back in and manifesting amazing driving skills and never getting into a car accident on the road again and probably other stuff like being pretty and stuff. It's just this car accident has turned my life upside down recently and I'm so happy it's over 🙂

I'm so proud of you and ugh, I hate when people take advantage of younger drivers and the insurance system. Also, playing Karma all day long made me laugh but it definitely fits your situation! I hope you stay safe on the road from now on ❤

[creature-wizard]

Hi I came from loa side, so you don't think the void is real in the sense that you can manifest waking up with like blue hair or something? I've always felt left out reading all the void stories. I've always thought it wasn't real. But I'm confused why there's so many stories? I don't wanna accuse the bloggers of writing in their own asks. But I don't know.....i feel like the void has kind of died down though. Which is odd isn't it? Also do you condone like learning to so sleep paralysis to enter the void?

I think it's a pretty safe bet that all of the people claiming they woke up with blue hair or something equally fantastical are either trying to practice living in the end, talking about their 4D (imaginary/ideal) life, or lying for clout or acceptance.

The Tumblr Law of Assumption community is full of people with extremely toxic worldviews and lack healthy coping mechanisms to deal with their poor self-esteems. There's this huge emphasis on being better than everyone else and having this perfect ideal life. When that's what people are trying to boost their self-esteem on, they're very likely to start lying sooner or later because these are inherently unrealistic goals. A great example of someone who lives like this is Donald Trump. He just constantly lies to try and maintain this illusion he's feeding his ego with.

Add to that, there is so much shame thrown on people who can't manifest all this stuff they've been told they can manifest that they might just start lying to feel more accepted within the community and escape the shame they're getting.

Regarding the void state, I'm pretty sure the "sleep paralysis" they're talking about is just really deep relaxation, which isn't harmful. Like I don't think it's going to necessarily give you better results, but I don't think it's going to hurt anything.

For anyone reading this: If you are leaving or questioning the Law of Assumption and need help, please see this post.

[dirtytransmasc]

hi, i love your blog so much <3

i was wondering if maybe you have any hc s for an AU where Jake and Neytiri didn't take the route they did in canon, and actually raised Spider as one of their own?

neytiri is definitely the hands on parent, she scooped the little thing up and said 'this is mine'. she was even possessive of the child with jake.

jake is a dad stereotype like he is the Military/Fishing Dad™. he's also the 'boys will be boys' type of dad, and that's his response to just about anything spider does. comes home cover in mud? boys will be boys. falls off a tree, gets up with 0 reaction, climbs back up the tree? boys will be boys. manhandles a vipewolf like a toddler manhandles a pet cat? boys will be boys. neytiri wants to scream.

spider would wear his hair much more natural (fluffy hair spider makes my heart soar) and neytiri loves to take care of it.

spider was a leash kid, he didn't get his name from no where, and he often climbed up places he shouldn't be, had a nack for falling asleep in ways on he could fit into, etc. so spider needs to be kept at an arms length or at least in active supervision.

neytiri is very adamant about keeping spider with the family at night, so she works with (scares) the scientists into developing a exopack that is easier and more comfortable for spider to use at night so he can sleep safely with his family at night.

jake takes spider on the ikran first. much to neytiri's dislike, but when he proves that a competent flyer can fly with the baby with ease, it becomes one of spider and neytiri's favorite past times.

jake made spider's first bows and he cried the entire time, like the biggest baby ever.

jake has a hard time watching spider and kiri bond, they remind him so much of himself and grace, and he tears up everytime.

neytiri is surprised just how connected to eywa spider gets, especially without tsaheylu, spider likes to sit at the spirit tree or with his grandmother. he likes to just connect and feel with The Great Mother. she fosters this bond, pushing spider to connect however he can; she will soon find out that eywa will always find a way to hold her children.

raising spider allowed neytiri to heal a deep seated trauma, to find a way to see humans for both their beauty and their destruction. raising spider allowed her to truly smile again.

neytiri calls him 'little sun' I can't find the na'vi word for sun or any adjacent word so use your imagination, so maybe something like fkew'hi'i'atan (mighty little light), cause of his hair and jake calls him "vrr'awpo" (wild one).

its spider fragility but need to do what his siblings do that make neytiri force jake to not make the boy's scouts. she won't let spider anywhere near the field, she can't lose him, she was very hesitant to let neteyam out despite passing his Iknimaya, but jake insisted, which meant lo'ak had to follow. but when spider starting showing determination to follow his brothers, she shut that down faster then jake could blink; her babies would not be put in danger.

spider is a mama's boy, and neytiri loves it, she loves her little bundle of light.

so sorry this took so long, adhd paralysis is a bitch and I'm still digging through all my old asks that piled up. also thank you so much, I'm so glad you like my blog.