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#It's like...even when I quit‚ can I still live here? Everyone recognizes me‚ and they hate me. I don't know if this can still be my home.
ordinarytalk · 2 years
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The plan is to stay in this hell job until I get public service loan forgiveness but damn if I'm not having a month that's making me consider just quitting right now and having all $50,000 of that debt fall right on my head just so I don't have to be here one single solitary second longer
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kithtaehyung · 2 months
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bet wrong (3tan717) | myg
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drabble: bet wrong pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)  series: masterlist | three tangerines | 3tan717 | one  rating/genre: pg (18+) ; angst , fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: after seeing how comfortable yoongi is in his place with your brother and their friends, it’s hard for you to leave… but it’s also hard for you to stay. note: apologies for all the late postings! but kim yeji’s aura was so strong it made me write about her so here we are hahaha. it's not really edited cus i just wrote this up and posted so apologies for any mistakes! note 2: this is in a pocket universe in the three tangerines series, so if you haven’t read the series yet, these characters would make more sense if you did hehe. even though this is very heavily influenced by the olympics, i’m keeping it as easy to read as i can. you can imagine them watching any of the events happening lol warnings: 3tan yoongi as always, angst, olympics talk, yoongi fights back??, the Yearning is Strong, reader is a tease, shiv is back!, brother and jimin are dorks, but so is everyone else, yoongi on the phone, he's so down bad y'all i wanna cry :(( drop date: august 1st, 2024, 7:17pm est word count: 2.3k (just like the first drabble omg?)
“Hey, you made it!”
“Oh, shit, look who’s here!”
After a quick greeting to everyone in Yoongi’s living room, you slip off your shoes with a distracted, “I can’t stay long but, I’m here!”
Even though the handsome devil next to you shoots a look, it’s your brother that speaks up, “Wait, why?”
“I’m meeting my friends in a bit.” You hand a still-quiet Yoongi some snacks you brought for everyone, asking a question with a very obvious answer, “Where should I put these?”
He blinks before forcing out, “Over here.”
“K.”
Sounds of conversation and sports games spring about. Jimin’s clearly in some sort of squabble with your brother and Shiv is fanning the flames. There’s a couple guys you recognize but don’t really know talking on the opposite side of the coffee table, but they’re all watching the Olympics and giving their own comments. 
Hopefully it’s noisy enough to shroud your dizzying thoughts. Because Yoongi looks damn good in his casual fit and his hair speaks volumes. 
What you would give to run your fingers through those waves. Following him through his bustling apartment is already giving you the shivers, so what would a sudden touch feel like? A burst of fire?
“I’ll take those,” he instructs, taking the bags from you and pulling everything out with crinkles. When he sees a certain bag, his blinks make you giggle.
It’s a specific chip he likes, recently divulged during a long night of learning things about one another—like favorite foods, and how fast or slow he likes you riding. 
So of course you threw it in your basket before heading over. 
Commentators make conversation on the television as you shrug, “Don’t ask me, I dunno how those got in there.”
God, that smile always makes you melt. And he proceeds to turn you into mush as he shows gratitude under his breath,
“Thanks, doll.”
“Seriously, I think they just handed me those,” you joke, trying your best to not do any of the million and three things you want to. “Said I was cute or something.”
His laugh is immediate. But it’s shoved away by cheers and yells, and both of you pop out of the kitchen to see what happened on the tv.
Something big must have went down because even Yoongi reacts, scaring you with a delayed reaction,
“Holy shit, what happened? Sorry,” he immediately apologizes at your flinch, putting a daring but comforting hand on your lower back before making his way to the group.
Did he really just…
He is lucky your brother didn’t see from the other side of the couch. 
That was the boldest Yoongi’s ever been and he’s quite literally kissed you in your kitchen. 
“Yeji got silver.”
“What? Wait, run it back!”
“I thought she'd take it!"
Chill out. Relax, relax, relax. Everyone else is clearly entranced by whatever happened and no one is even looking at you. Relax.
But damn, that touch meant a lot more than an apology. 
Seems like the one vocally surprised at the replay wants to do a million and three things, too. 
On your emotional decrescendo, you scuttle back to grab a plastic cup. No use in trying to join them anyway. All you can do for now is get a drink in a kitchen you’re not supposed to know your way around.
Being in his place while your brother is too is quite the experience. 
However. 
This is absolutely the ideal situation you should be in. You would be the one showing up at Yoongi’s at the invitation of your brother, and it would be a small party where you blend right into the background with minimal interaction. 
But of course, the feelings of distance and guilt creep onto your feet, rooting you in place and forcing you to watch from afar. 
They’re all checking their phones and pointing at each other—accusingly? Excitedly?—before switching between different games on the tv and yelling at each other. 
And while you adore them for being such lovable geeks about this, your eyes cannot stop pinning Yoongi with longing. He’s so radiant doing the most normal things, and his eyes have that sparkle they get when he’s comfortable and at home. 
He’s perfect.
Your heart’s warm.
And the cup in your hand never touches your mouth.
After you take a seat at his dining table—yet another thing you should not know anything about—you cycle between watching them interact and scrolling on your apps. 
At first, you thought you were safe. Staying in the back and letting them have their own time together is good enough for you, especially since you were invited by your brother to stop by.
Really, you were just a courier for food they wanted. 
But it was on the way. And it’s a chance to see someone you’ve been missing.
So of course you faked reluctance to come.
The plan was to do exactly this. Hang back until you had to leave, maybe have a bite or two, and try hard not to yearn for Yoongi too long.
Failed step three.
But also now step one, because Shiv decides to twist around to yell, “Hey! Come join us!” 
“I’m good over here,” you reply, smiling when he gives you a look. 
“Suit yourself!” 
One of the guys you recognize but don’t really know gets off the couch to head into the kitchen, asking a question as he opens the fridge.
Wait, he’s asking you something? You?
You leave your chair so you can hear him better, and when he repeats his question you respond.
“Want a drink?”
“Oh, uhh. Sure.”
“Pick your poison. Yoongi doesn’t have much but it’s all strong.”
He’s pretty cute. But then again, all your brother’s friends seem to end up this way. “Water’s fine,” you say with a light smile. “I have to be somewhere else in a minute.”
“Leaving so soon?” He grabs a cup to fill with your choice before handing it over. Leaning against the same counter Yoongi has smushed you against many times, the man takes a sip of his beer. “You just got here.”
“I was told to bring food.”
“Ah, come on. You can stay a bit.”
Uh huh.
Bold choice to be flirting with the company present today.
But you know what to do. Swerve. “What even happened back there? You guys scared the shit outta me.”
From the creases of his eyes, your plan works. “Oh, Yeji? She was supposed to win gold.”
“Feel like she won anyway.”
You both snap your heads over to the kitchen threshold, and your stomach could win a floor routine with the amount of flips it completes. “How come?” You decide to ask, throwing both guys for a loop.
It’s Yoongi that responds first, “She’s trending from a video back in May.”
“Oh, shit, really?” 
“Fucking boss. But yeah, none of us got that one right,” his friend responds, which leaves you intrigued. 
“Got it right?”
“Mmhmm. We picked her for gold.” Glancing over at Yoongi now crossing between to get to his fridge, he claps his back. “Even this guy bet wrong and he’s usually right.”
“Bet with my heart,” your secret drones as he cracks open a bottle. 
“We all did, bro.”
Fucking hell, that move was hotter than it should’ve been.
But now you’re kinda invested in what they’re all doing, so you ask how the whole thing works.
Which leads you to sitting in the living room with everyone three whole minutes later.
“So all of these are events, and I pick what I think happens?”
“Yup!”
“Good luck.”
“Choose quick, the next games start soon.”
Everyone’s eyes are on your paper as you look at the options, with some laughs and comments as you circle your choices.
“Mm, I dunno about that one.”
“Hey, hey, no help.”
You glance at your brother and Yoongi before laughing, “I have no idea what I’m doing but this is fun.”
Their amusement is noticeable.
“If you get any of those right, I’ll be surprised,” your sibling teases, earning a laugh from Yoongi and a counterpoint from Jimin,
“Dark horse?”
“Nah, no chance.”
Park’s shoulders raise as he smirks. “It's all luck, you never know..”
Huffing, you pretend to have confidence for days, just happy that you get to be involved and not hang back like the initial plan. “Yeah, I have masterclass intuition, don’t you know?” 
Reactions pop and fizz around you.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Master class, huh..”
“We have a hustler here!”
Your eyes drift to Yoongi’s at Shiv's comment, and you both share a quick, mirth-filled, intimate stare.
This really is a lot more fun already. 
Your phone buzzing is the one thing that interrupts, and you immediately feel relieved and saddened by the fact that you have to go.
Finishing up, you hand your brother your picks before standing, heading to the door and saying that you have to leave. 
“Wait, already?”
“Tell them you’re busy!”
“I kinda want to,” you admit, feeling a little shy at all the eyes on you. “But we’re watching a movie and tickets are stupid expensive now.”
Yoongi’s already next to you as he waits to let you out. “You okay to drive?”
“Me? Oh, yeah, I just had water.”
“K.”
Why does he have to be so considerate right now? Now you just wanna stay here instead of sit through whatever movie your friends picked!
“Be careful,” your brother comments from the living room, and you wave goodbye.
“I will. Y’all have fun!”
“Okay!”
Facing Yoongi, you wanna do so many things. Hug him, hold him, kiss the shit out of him for his exuding presence in the kitchen earlier. 
“Thanks for the food.”
But you obviously can’t.
So you settle for giving him a smile. “Thanks for letting me come over,” you decide to say. “Have fun tonight.”
You get a small lift of his lips in return. “You, too.”
“Yeah.. I’ll try.”
Hearing sounds from outside as you walk to your car, you feel the loneliest imaginable. 
But alas.
It’s still not your place to stay.
Much, much later, you check your phone after the movie ends and you’re all walking out. While the girls are busy discussing the movie and Taehyung's checking his phone, you're greeted with two very surprising keystrokes.
Yoongi [9:30pm]: :( 
He texted that so long ago. Did something happen?
You [10:34pm]: you ok?
All of you talk for just a little longer. When you finally get into your car, you wave goodbye at everyone before looking at your device again, wondering what the heck warranted this rogue of a text.
Yoongi [10:40pm]: Yeah
Yoongi [10:40pm]: Just miss you
Well, fuck.
Heart clenching, your fingers skirt across the screen.
You [10:45pm]: i miss you too.. i didn’t wanna leave😭
Yoongi [10:45pm]: You did though😔
There are plenty of people in the lot. Many people walking past as you wait in your car. 
And all you can do is stare at your screen. 
Is… Is he drunk?
Yoongi [10:46pm]: So now you have to make it up to me :) 
That catches you so off-guard you scoff at your screen through a smile. 
You [10:46pm]: don’t be a loser!! 
Yoongi [10:46pm]: I’m your loser 
Cheeks hurting from your shy as hell grin, you bite your lip to keep your screams from alerting people in the nearby theatre. 
How dare this man be this bold when your brother is over there! 
If he’s gonna keep this shocking behavior up, who are you to not play into it? You fucking miss him and imagining being there and being yourselves—your true selves—makes your chest clench. 
You [10:46pm]: not today you weren’t :\
And now you have to make the drive to a house that no one's occupying.
This is so hard. So, so hard. 
But you have to keep going until that one day comes. If it ever does. The day you can do whatever you want with the man you’d fight the universe for? No one will know how to react, and frankly you don’t give a shit about that.
And then you wonder.
Does Yoongi feel the same?
Yoongi [10:48pm]: They're still here
Yoongi [10:48pm]: You down to come back?
Oh.
You are.
Yes, yes, yes you are.
Grateful eyes shut, forehead hitting your steering wheel and heart hurting but still burning lovingly.
There’s no fighting how desperately you want to see him. Especially after seeing him so happy earlier today. Of course you’re going to go. You’d cross mountains even if that meant you’d only get to see him from afar. 
Because—and this you know for sure—he would do the same. 
...But that doesn't mean you won't prank him just a little bit.
You [10:49pm]: don't bet on it w ur heart again💕
Buzzing with excitement, you start your car and pull out of the lot, calling your brother and letting him know you’re coming back.
“K! You gonna bring food again?”
Normally, you would say fuck no and hang up. But you’re so elated you get to go back, and imagining Yoongi's shock makes you laugh. “Yeah, yeah, what do y’all want?” 
“Wait, really? Hey! What do we want for dinner—”
“Wait!” You interject, something pinging into your mind and igniting your curiosity. “How are my picks doing?” 
There’s a scuffle on the line, and you can hear your brother complain, Jimin laugh, and a very, very familiar voice answer from your brother’s phone. 
Because Yoongi’s voice drones so beautifully through the speaker, and you can’t stop your cackling when he responds, 
“Turns out Jimin was right.” 
“Damn, I'm the best,” you boast, earning a loud laugh from him and welcoming the way your cheeks hurt with open arms. “Show me that video you were talking about when I get there?”
This is safe to say. It's all you really can say.
There's a little bit of silence before he answers how he can, too.
“Yeah, I will.” 
Mm. Maybe Yoongi does feel the same.
“Nice," you whisper. Lips curved up in hope, you keep your voice neutral, “See you soon!” 
Again, he responds how he's supposed to. And right after, you both hang up exactly as expected.
For now.
“See you soon.” 
fin. :)
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how did the second 717 drabble go! | join the discord hehe | three tangerines
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a/n: love you love you love you. that's really all i can say. but also, here's the video of kim yeji being an absolute badass in may and i cannot stop thinking about her GAHHHHHH and now the guy from turkey?? hello?? this year is so fun and interesting istg!!
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ratsummer · 3 months
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I think Phantom was fending for himself for years in the pit, running the circles from just about the age a ghoul can probably survive on their own. He was born into a small but loving pack, so he learned how to be a good ghoul kit, but once he was on his own, he didn't have anyone to socialize him as a young adult ghoul. Sure, he'd tag along with the odd band of ghouls here and there when the opportunity arose, but those alliances were born out of necessity and always quite brief.
All this to say, between his lack of guidance from adult ghouls, his trauma, and the neurodivergencies he was born with, Phantom has held on to a lot of ghoul kit behaviors.
When he's first summoned and meeting his new pack, everyone is on edge. He's small for a quint, and has a confusing blend of kit and adult behaviors. Once the infirmary ghouls have confirmed he is in fact an adult ghoul who chose of his own volition to respond to the summon, and not in fact a large kit they've accidentally abducted, everyone relaxes a bit.
At first, as they're learning about how Phantom was living for years prior to his summoning, emotions run high. They all hide it well from him, not wanting to frighten or burden him. Even so, there are many late nights in the den spent whispering and weeping as they process the things they learn of Phantom's past.
As time passes though, and Phantom settles in and gets comfier with all of them, the sadness and anger pass. They learn to interpret Phantom's unusual blend of behaviors, and they love him all the more. No one pressures Phantom to change, or tells him that he's doing something wrong. They accept him for who he is, and as long as he's not uncomfortable, embarrassed, or inadvertently harming himself, they're happy.
And oh, how they love their baby bat.
It took a while for Phantom to relax enough around anyone to purr at all, but now it's almost nonstop. Almost anything will set it off, too. Swiss walks into the same room as him? Purring. Mountain puts a hand on his shoulder to keep him still while he reaches over him for something in the kitchen? Purring. Dewdrop says good morning? Purring. When everyone gets together after a long day to cuddle in the den, Phantom's purrs stand out from the rest. He hasn't quite switched from the cooing, nasally purr of a kit into the rumbling, chest purr of an adult. He's slowly working into his chest purr, especially as he spends time cuddling on Mountain, Aether, and Swiss. Their purrs are deepest and most obviously resonating from their chests, making it easier for Phantom to imitate. Regardless of how he sounds, though, a purring Phantom is a happy Phantom is a Phantom getting many kisses.
Phantom is also working on scenting. The first person Phantom ever tried scenting was Dew, and boy was the fire ghoul confused at first. They were cuddled up on the couch, watching Cumulus teach Swiss some new crocheting techniques, when Phantom started headbutting him. To be fair, it was a gentle headbutting, really more bumping his face into Dew's jaw and nuzzling into him each time. Even so, it caught Dew off guard. Luckily, Rain was sitting on the opposite end of the couch and caught Dew's attention before he could react poorly. Dew, unlike Rain, had never really spent much time around ghoul kits, so failed to recognize Phantom's kit-like attempts at scenting. Rain mimed at him frantically until he got the memo and started scenting Phantom back. "Oh, Phantom," Rain chimed in soon after, "You're being such a lovebug for Dew. He likes gentler scenting though, sweetheart, do you want me to show you? Come here, it's my turn!" And of course, Rain instantly had a lapful of cooing, cuddly ghoul to coach, leaving Dew to roll around and be embarrassed over how in love with Phantom he is.
Phantom also kneads a lot more than most adult ghouls. While the others might do a little kneading here and there when they're feeling deeply sleepy and relaxed, Phantom seems to knead whether he's feeling calm or stressed. His most frequent victims are Cumulus, Swiss, Cirrus, and Mountain, and he kneads on whatever body part is closest. Tummies, thighs, arms, Cumulus even lets him get away with kneading on her boobs. He zones out hard when he starts kneading, almost slipping into a trance. They've all had to do a little correcting for Phantom with this behavior, just to show him how to keep his claws from hurting soft skin and to make sure he doesn't squeeze too hard. Sometimes, when he's having trouble being gentle, they'll pass him a stuffie or a pillow to work instead. He seems to knead the most during mass, Papa's chanting and the choral accompaniment relaxing him. Usually it's Mountain who will grab him when he starts getting glassy-eyed, holding him in his lap and letting him knead away at his arm.
Aether and Cirrus have spent a lot of time helping Phantom with his emotional regulation. Once he's feeling safe and secure with his new pack, that no one is going to hurt him if they notice him, he gets a bit too reactive when his emotions run high. When he messes up the same section of a song for the sixth time, he starts yelling and crying. When he slept poorly, he hisses and growls. When he trips down the last couple stairs in front of some siblings, he hides and mopes for hours, crying and skipping meals. Aether and Cirrus help him learn to identify how is body is reacting in a situation, and what emotion goes with it. They help him respond more calmly, so he doesn't hurt or frighten anyone. They teach him coping skills, like deep breathing, or leaving a room, or asking someone for a hug. It's not always easy, but Phantom is diligent and attentive, and with guidance he quickly finds techniques that work for him.
Yeah, idk. Just. I could go on and on. Phantom being a little different from what his new pack is used to and it's okay. It's not his fault. He's so full of love, and he finally gets to share it. He's so full of love, and his pack is thrilled that he shows them in his own way. Ugh. Nobody look at me.
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whateversawesome · 5 months
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Spy x Family Chapter 97: An Old Love Story
Okay, say it with me: FOIL!
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You can see it too, right? Looks like Martha x Henry (Henderson)'s story is a foil of Twilight and Yor's story.
Henderson was in Twilight's place; the smart, lonely young man so focused on his ideals that he was blind about who was in front of him and his very own feelings.
Martha was in Yor's place, the strong and graceful girl too young and inexperienced to know her own heart and that she was in love.
This is exactly what's happening with Twiyor, the main couple of the story, and I think we may get to see one of the possible endings for our beloved Twiyor through Martha and Henderson story.
Now, what do we know about these two 🤔...
We know that Henry Henderson has a daughter and a son-in-law. It was mentioned he writes to them, but there was no mention of his wife. This leads me to believe that:
His wife is no longer alive.
He lives with his wife, so there's no reason for him to write to her.
He is divorced.
So, with this information we still can't know what's the current relationship between Martha and Henry, but we can take a guess 😉
From the way the story is being told, it almost feels like it's a semi-tragic love story, doesn't it? We can almost assume that they didn't end up together...or did they?
Theory one: Yup, everyone is right and Martha and Henderson eventually went their separate ways for reasons we'll probably get to know in the next couple of chapters.
If this theory is right, I think it's beautiful that they are getting a second chance 💖They certainly look more mature, confident, and calm (also elegant!). I love the way they look at each other, so much trust and love 😌
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Theory two: I know this one is a long shot (and Henderson just said in that panel that "She is merely and old friend") but maybe...they're actually married. Why am I so bold to even consider that possibility?! Well, there's this panel:
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The matron is clearly teasing Master Henderson, don't you agree? If she does it, it's because she knows something. Either she knows that there was something between those two in their youth or she knows they are married. I don't know, but they way she said the word "partner" and the fact that Master Henderson is married made me think that Martha is his wife. I know, I know...it's a remote possibility, but you have to remember that marriage is mentioned a lot through different characters and couples during the story, so maybe those two were actually married. (But, it's quite possible it's theory one).
Other things to consider...
How long have Ostania and Westalis been at war?
My guess is that we're talking about two different wars between the same countries; very much like WWI and WWII, where there was a brief period of peace before a second conflict. So, probably the first war started while Henderson was in his 20s and the second war started when he was in his 40s (and Twilight was a kid).
It makes a lot of sense that now they're in a period of "Cold War", just like in real life.
The Garden
I am convinced that the Garden is involved in this. I've talked about this before (read it here). After this chapter, I still think the Garden is going to pop up. Want some evidence?
Do you recognize this guy?
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That's right 😏 That's Matthew McMahon. What is he doing there? Too much of a coincidence, don't you think?
And also the way this is phrased:
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Odd that there was a mention of the word Garden, isn't it? And the fact that the whole story between those two takes place in a garden...🤔
In addition to that, in a previous chapter, Twilight observes how Martha moves like a soldier. Franky mentioned earlier that Garden people are like soldiers. And the Garden has a history of recruiting young skilled/strong people, like Yor. Things keep adding up.
The Consequences of War
This is a prevalent theme throughout the whole SxF universe: how war (violence, intolerance, manipulation of information, propaganda, politics) has affected the life of all the characters.
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No matter their background, nationality or education, we've seen it again and again with most of the characters big or small, like Twilight, Franky, Sylvia, Millie, and now we're about to see it with characters from an older generation like Martha and Henderson.
My guess is that this won't be the last time and this pattern will continue while the story lasts. I think what the story is trying to show us is how war is seen by some (politicians and men in power like Desmond) as a natural, inevitable course of action, but at the same time how brutal the consequences are in the smallest stories. That's one of the things that is truly remarkable about SxF.
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littlelightfish · 6 months
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I've been thinking about Mickbell since last chapter came out.
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Have you noticed how everyone refers to him as Mick? He's a hafling, they shouldn't call him that since its his first name.
But here's the thing.
We know Mickbell didn't have something to call a family the majority of his life. He was all alone against the word for quite some time. He, as I said before, didn't have a proper family, didn't have any friends. He was alone. No one to care about him, no one to love even in a friendly way.
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He can seem to be quite unfair towards Kuro, but truth is he doesn't know any better. He does what he can the best he can, the best he knows, because he loves Kuro so much, he doesn't want to loose his first friend, his first glimpse of a family, the only one that cared for him after so long the first one to recognize him as someone rather than something.
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Kuro doesn't understand common language well, we know for a fact that he struggles with it and that he's still learning to communicate. When Mickbell found him, it was his sense of "I'm in great debt to him because he saved me" what made him attack the one that attacked Mick. "How dares he tuch my savior?" Kind of behaviour. And also revenge I guess. But, hear me out. He hears Mickbell telling something to him in a language he doesn't understand, but he sticks to his side from then on, because he saw a savior in him. Because he feels in debt with him, because he sees that this guy enjoys his company and also feeds him. He is like a stray dog after being adopted, loyal. He loves and cares for Mickbell, he wants to be able to truly understand him and to make himself known to him by talking. He's learning how to speak common, not because it might be useful, but because he wants to be able to fully communicate with his dearest friend, with the one he considers family.
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Going back to Mickbell, he saw someone caring for him enough to take revenge and protect him. This aren't little things to do for someone you just met. He knows this, because he probably wouldn't have done that, he 100% would've runned away because he has sense of self-preservation and knows damn well he doesn't stand a chance and he wants to continue living. He makes sure to keep this kobold to himself, at first because of his "if it can be made use of, then use it" principle.
He freed the kobold, not because he was a good person, but because he wanted to take revenge in his own terms. He wanted this man to suffer, he can't pick a fight because he doesn't stand a chance, so he steels his merch, or in this case, frees it. He freed Kuro because he wanted the man to suffer the loss of his merch. Not because he feels sorry for a kobold that could easily chomp his head off (they're usually agressive). Now, after freeing him, he noticed that this kobold would die if he didn't take off the thing he had in his mouth, so he helped him a bit there. This seems a bit out of character. Why did he freed the starved kobold from what could've saved him of being eaten himself? Because he is a good person. He doesn't want this creature to starve to death after freeing him, it would be cruel, and he isn't cruel. He doesn't want nothing to do with the kobold at first, he just doesnt want him to die because he didnt properly freed him, but after seeing how far is this someone willing to go for him? He has no room for doubt, he makes himself his boss.
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As I said, Mickbell didn't had a real family before. He lacks of proper social interactions and bonds due to his past. But he loves so deeply. He doesn't want to loose Kuro. He sees him as the closest thing he'll ever have to a family, but he doesn't know how to treat him properly. He tries his best. He feeds him, and cares about him a lot, but he doesn't know how to talk to him. He wants to have him close at all times, he wants to pet him, to be carried around by him and only him, to tease him, to help him. He's always worrying about his well-being. And above all, he doesn't want to be alone. Never again. This is why he does everything he can think of to hold Kuro closer to him. This is why he's saving money, why he pays Kuro so poorly for his job. This is why he doesn't spent much money on himself either. He wants to live a life with kuro by his side because he loves him. He loves him deeply, and cares about him deeply too. He's his family. And he is terrified of the sole thought of Kuro leaving his side. Because that wouldn't just mean being alone again. It would mean Kuro left.
Now, this is what the party sees. A hafling that treats his kobold employee quite unfairly. He doesn't pay him almost anything, he leaves him alone as soon as battle starts, he is possessive about him, and he's terrified of someone snatching him away. The kobold doesn't seem to either mind or notice how unfair his owner is being towards him, and doesn't seem to understand him very well either. They see that they both care for each other more than they first thought as time passes by, but the unfairness of it all is still there. They don't get it. Why would the hafling, if he cares so much, reward him so badly? Why is he taking advantage of the kobold he loves so much? Why wouldn't he let him express himself in his mother language? They don't fully get it.
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Time passes and they become closer to each other, just as Laios's party does. They start opening up, bonding, and before they knew it, they're something like a small family, rather than just a group of friends adventuring together. It's clear as day something in Mickbell wasn't quite right just by the way he behaves. He is childish, but it doesn't seem to be intentional. He behaves like a kid, but he is quite mature at the same time. He is like this because he didn't had a proper childhood? He only now can allow himself to behave lightly as he does? To cry at minor inconveniences? To want to be hold on someone's arms? They don't know, but they don't prey about it either.
And without realizing it, they call him just "Mick". Some of them, if not them all, know what it means to call a hafling by his first name. They maybe did it to tease him, maybe because they wanted him to know they consider him family, but he didn't even noticed. He hadn't a proper social interaction with haflings that ever got to the personal level of teaching him something he should already know. Haflings call him Mickbell, he doesn't mind, it's his name. His party calls him Mick, he doesn't mind, it's his name. He doesn't even know hee should care. The party picks up he doesn't mind being called that and gets surprised. Is he letting them know he sees them aa family too? They at first are really surprised, but it losses importance over time. They just use it as a nickname now, but they started using it because they wanted Mickbell to know they're family too, that they don't want to hurt him nor Kuro.
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Mickbell it's just a good hearted guy who doesn't know how to do good. He saves up money so he can, one day, live with Kuro. So he doesn't pays him well even if he works hard. So he starves himself (he is underweight too, but it could be for the same reason Chilchuck is, he is 5 cms taller than the common hafling after all). So he allows himself to steal from corpses. He needs money. He has a dream. He wants to have a family.
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leeknow-thoughts · 3 months
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୨୧ WAITING ROOM
𝝑𝝔 son of Athena!Lee Know x Cursed!Fem!Reader
𝝑𝝔 cw: Lee Know has mommy issues, Lee Know is immortal, reader is cursed, angst, suicide, mentions of self harm, mentions of gore and death, there is no happy ending, not very detailed smut, smut with feelings
𝝑𝝔 skz hyung line Greek god!AU m.list | skz maknae line Greek god!AU m.list
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He always had hated his mother. Ever since adolescence, the thought of her made his skin crawl. He hated how she was brave, and how that meant he had to be brave. He hated how she was born from her father's head.
How she had a city named after her. How she was gracious to everyone except for him. How she cursed him with immortality.
He hated how he couldn't hate his mother. His mother cursed you.
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Like everyone was to him, you were a glimpse. A glance taken around the lecture hall. Eyes mistakenly landing on yours. That's all anyone could be for him; a simple glance.
You were beautiful though, he noticed. At least to him you were. No other boys seemed to glance in your direction for very long. He took another look at you.
Your hair was pulled up messily, your shirt had stains on it, yet you were beautiful. You scribbled on a piece of paper at your seat across the lecture hall from him. Positively not paying attention to the biology professor in the front of the room.
You. You. He found you, yet again.
He remembered you suddenly, a blurry memory that he couldn't put the date on. Your hair. He recognized your hair. He saw it over all the lifetimes he lived.
But why couldn't he know your name? The name from your first lifetime.
"y/n!" he remembered screaming.
"Minho! Go run! Run!" you cried.
y/n, that was your name.
y/n.
The girl who died in Pompeii. The girl who he begged for his mother to spare, to bring back to him.
"Minho?" a tap awoke him from his thought.
He turned around to face you, it was you. "What's your name?" he immediately asked even though he knew you.
"y/n and you're Minho," you smile.
"You know me?" he asks.
You pause, "you don't know me?"
I've known you for eons he says in his head.
He thought of Pompeii. "Pompeii?" he questions out loud.
"You remember Pompeii?"
"I remember you," he whispered.
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You had the blanket covering you from the coldness of your room. The landlord just wouldn't fix your heater, even if it was in the middle of winter.
"Fucking hell," Minho mumbles as he enters your room, "it's cold as fuck in here."
"You can thank my shitty landlord for that, he won't fix the damn heater."
"I'll get you an electrician, it's like below freezing in here," Minho mumbles.
"With what money?"
"Sweetheart I'm immortal, I have more than enough money to my name after thousands of years of existing," he reminds you.
"I forget you're literally like Edward Cullen, you freaking vampire," you chuckle.
"I am not Edward Cullen," he persists.
He was now laying next to you, "I am not as pale as him," he continues.
"Are you wearing jeans on my bed right now?" you look at him with disgust.
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"Minho," you blurt.
The noise from the TV above the fireplace becoming background music in your ears. "Mhm," he hums, his eyes fixated on the TV screen.
"Are you brave?" you ask, "like, your mom is Athena, so are you like her, are you fearless? Do you have no quest too grand to conquer?"
He chuckles, "no, I'm quite cowardly," he replies.
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"Why can't she live?" he begs his mother.
"Minho, she is still alive," his mother reminds him.
"Yeah but for how long? How long until she is gonna die? How long until I have to look for her in her next life?" he yells in despair.
"Minho she is cursed with reincarnation, you know there is nothing you can do."
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"Minho?" you ask the boy who is laying next to you in bed.
He looks up at you, "make love to me?" you ask.
He is gentle when he makes love to you, just like always. He kisses over your skin and takes your breast into his mouth like always. But this time feels different. Like he is studying your body. Like this will be the last time he holds you.
You don't question his desperation, figuring it was just due to the lack of time you had spent with him recently.
He gently pushes into you and watches over every way your face contorts with pleasure. He holds you close to him as he buries himself inside your cunt. Mumbling sweet words into your ear while you cum around him.
Taking his time building up his own orgasm before spilling into you his seed.
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"Minho," you call out to him, he perks his head up and looks at you, "tell me the story of how we first met," you request.
You curl up into his side, his arms draped around you lovingly.
"Well, we were both kids, living in the village next to Pompeii, your mother was a baker and your father was a farmer. Your parents prayed to my mother, and my mother sent me to bless them one night," he pauses, rubbing circles on your lower back, "and so I walked into your house, and was going to leave the money my mother had sent me to give to your parents but you saw me. You thought I was stealing from you," he chuckles at the memory, "and then instead of doing the logical thing like waking your parents up, you handed me a piece of bread and told me that I didn't have to steal food. D'you remember that?" he asks softly.
"Mhm," you nod your head, "and you told me your little secret," you recall.
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He's never been more sure of anything in his entire life. This he knows, he knows he is tired of watching you die.
He knows he must die to break your cycle of reincarnation.
He holds the knife to his wrists and doesn't think twice before cutting them.
He'll wait for you in the underworld. And that is the only comfort he has as life leaves his body. Knowing you and him will one day be reunited.
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You sit next to the headstone where he is buried and wipe away any of the dirt and grime that has accumulated on the surface.
The word 'brave' carved into the stone right below his name.
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Text
Steddie Upside-down AU Part 26
Part 1 Part 25
“We can’t just make Steve wait even longer because some stupid kids–” Eddie yells.
“Keyword kids, Munson,” Chief Hopper shouts back.
“–got themselves in a little bit of trouble!”
“You mean the goddamn Feds staking out their houses? With guns?” Chief Hopper asks. “That’s the ‘little trouble’ you’re talking about?”
“Why is that my proble–”
“Eddie,” Will says. 
Eddie stops pacing the length of the living room to look down at where Will’s curled up on the couch, hunching in as the voices raise. He sighs, ragged and angry, but sits on the couch, flapping his hand dismissively toward Chief Hopper. “Just fucking go,” he says meanly. “You were always going to.”
“Boy,” Wayne says, warningly. 
Eddie groans. “Fine, just hurry, okay?” Eddie’s nails are ragged from chewing on them. He doesn’t look up as his uncle and Chief Hopper leave the house. 
Mom, Jonathan, Barbara, and Nancy are hunched over at the table drinking coffee and analyzing the maps of the areas surrounding  the lab. Will feels like his intestines are tying themselves in knots. Mike could be being held at gunpoint by now with the rest of his friends. 
Steve’s still stuck on the other side, thirsty and hungry and running for his life. And alone. 
Eddie jumps up and starts pacing again, running his hand through his greasy hair. Some of it comes out in a clump when his fingers get caught in a knot. He looks like he’s unraveling. Without Steve, there’s nothing anchoring him here. Will’s afraid he’ll float away.
“You’re not the only one worried, you know,” Nancy says curtly, not even looking up from the map in front of her.
Eddie stops in his tracks. “Excuse me?” he demands.
“Nancy,” Jonatha warns.
“My parents' house is being watched,” she says, using her level voice like a weapon. “Mike is out there, trapped and defenseless.”
“Yeah, but–”
“And I care about Steve, too,” she snaps.
Eddie’s fingers curl into fists at his sides, one of his fingers sticking out strangely, like it can’t quite curl like the rest of them. 
Eddie doesn’t say anything, but he does sit down, teeth grinding hard enough to be audible. 
They go back to waiting in silence. It doesn’t last long. 
The door bursts open, people pouring in. Mike first, standing by a girl with a shaved head that WIll doesn’t recognize, Lucas and Dustin hot on their heels.
It’s Lucaus who spots him first, yelling, “Will!” and colliding with him with enough force to send him sprawling partially on top of Eddie. More arms follow one after another. Dustin, then Will’s, until they’re all piled onto the too-small couch, sending Eddie falling off the side with an oof.
Voices overlap, demanding answers Will’s not sure how to answer, where to start. He feels his breathing hitch.
“Alright, back off kiddies, let him breathe!” Eddie says, pulling bodies away from Will until he’s got a little bubble around himself. 
Dustin still has his palm on Will’s calf, like he can’t help himself, while Lucas and Mike look at Eddie distrustfully. “Who are you?” Mike demands.
“Mike!” Nancy reprimands, making him whirl around. 
“Nancy?” he asks, incredulous, seemingly only now noticing that his sister was in the room.
She rolls her eyes, looking back down to the table. 
Knowing the signs of a Wheeler verbal smackdown when he sees it, Will says, “this is Eddie,” shrinking in on himself a bit when they all turn to him. “He saved my life.”
“Cool,” Dustin breathes, but Lucas’s eyes only narrow further.
“In the Upside Down?” Mike asks.
“That what you all are calling the parallel world?” Eddie asks, swinging his legs out from under his to sit cross cross.
Mike nods, “yeah,” he says. “Where the Demogorgon comes from.”
“Do none of you twerps know what a Demogorgon looks like?” Eddie asks, everyone ignores him.
“So everything is okay now?” Lucas asks. “We can go home?”
Chief Hopper, having made his way inside to loom over them all in the living room with his arms crossed as Wayne closes the door behind them, says, “no way kid. The Feds are swarming your houses.”
“Oh, man,” Lucas says, head in hands. “I’m so grounded.”
“And we’re not leaving Steve,” Eddie says, glaring up at Chief Hopper as Wayne rolls his eyes in the doorway.
“Steve?” Mike demands, whipping his head around to glare at Will. “Nancy’s stupid boyfriend?”
“He’s not my boyfriend!”
Will nods. “He saved my life too."
Mike glares at him the way he always does right before he folds. He sighs, slumping down like Will had just asked him to do something abhorrent. “Ughhh, fiiiine. We’ll save stupid Steve Harrington.”
“You kids aren’t saving anyone,” Wayne says, shuffling into the kitchen and accepting the cup of coffee Joyce hands him with a smile. “We’ll get him.”
Chief Hopper asks, “any idea where he’ll be in there?” 
“I might know a way we can find out,” Mike says, turning to the unnamed girl where she’s standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, clutching at the hem of her dirty pink dress. “Can you find him?” 
She looks scared to have all the eyes on her, but nods, looking down. “I will find him.”
Part 27
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thebirthofvenusfly · 6 months
Text
okay but i like thinking about the events of ISAT/siffrin's struggles not as them going from a party of normal people with normal struggles to "everyone essentially now has to help Sif heal from That," but as, "everyone in the party has had their own immense, long-term struggles, and this happens to be Siffrin's." like, siffrin is not just a, "problem child," or the standalone outlier in terms of angst
here me out
[major ISAT spoilers, especially for acts 3-5 btw]
siffrin doesn't know all these things in act 1, but:
Odile has had a life-long struggle with identity. Her mother abandoned her family at a young age, her father (presumably heartbroken and betrayed) has never kept any mementos or photos or stories of her and likely avoided speaking of her at any and all opportunities. For the most part, Odile loves her culture but admits she was an outlier in Ka Bue and always stood out from the texture of her hair and eyebrows. She's tried to settle before for the peace of just letting it be, but after meeting that travelling merchant, she realizes how badly she does want to bridge that gap in her identity and has now spent years travelling--all only to find that it didn't quite fix her problem and she hasn't been able to find herself entirely in Vaugarde either. She doesn't dwell too much on her mother, but I feel there is a part of her that could never forgive the hole her mother left behind.
Mirabelle has similarly struggled, though in terms of religion and sexuality. She holds herself to a very high standard of Changing and being a, "good," Housemaiden, and has gone to great lengths to learn as much as she can in efforts to reinvent herself and Change, as she feels she, "should," do, because that's what Housemaidens and diligent followers of the House of Change, "should," do. She is so adamant about this that even prior to the game, even prior to the King's reign--which was several months-a full year before ISAT begins--she is forcing herself to look into relationships to potentially date, bond, and even have children with someone and she doesn't want to do any of that it. She is distraught because she doesn't want to change that aspect. She doesn't want to become what she's not, or try to force herself to feel things she doesn't and can't feel, but she isn't being a good Housemaiden or a good member of her society if she stagnates.
Bonnie's plight primarily comes in with the King's reign, which again, has been for a few months now. They live with their older sister who loves them and cares for them tirelessly, but she is taken by the King's Curse and frozen in time--an event which presumably happens in front of Bonnie, who is encouraged by their sister's last words to just run from the village as far as they can to safety. If that isn't terrifying enough, this leads to them wandering the wilderness for days, exhausted, dehydrated, presumably starved/ill-fed, and lonely, and likely scared out of their mind. Their only saving grace is Siffrin, who happens to find them and save them. The comfort they feel with Sif is called into question when they have to watch Siffrin take a permanent, debilitating injury to the eye to protect them. While the incident seems to roll off Siffrin's worries pretty seamlessly, this is a lot for Bonnie, who by now, has recognized a pattern of the people they love being permanently hurt or altered in some way all just to protect them. They're convinced they're a recurring problem, and after the death ritual talk in the House, has to prepare themselves for the haunting reality that they might really lose everyone they love (and, again, this is a lot. Especially for a child).
Isabeau has tried Changing before, and while it did help him make leaps and bounds, he is still in a constant struggle to love himself fully. Let's be honest here: Isabeau is easily the most emotionally put-together party member, and most equipped to handle the stresses of the party in terms of feelings. This does not make him immune, however, to his own negative feelings. He even cites as wanting to become someone that Siffrin wouldn't be, "ashamed," to know. He also mentions that he is remorseful of the new image he's given himself, as an air-headed, jock type of person, which often leads people into genuinely believing he's stupid and thus treating him that way. Not to mention, as the emotional mediator of the party, I'm sure he occasionally gets stretched thin between helping everyone else manage their problems and altercations.
all this is to say: everyone in the party has their problems, and a good sum of these are not all instantly solved by the end of the story. all of them, siffrin included, are left in a space where they have plenty of healing to do but can confidently and comfortably still rely on one another.
ISAT is just siffrin's chapter of major emotional plight, and everyone else's is presumed prior to the narrative (i can also acknowledge that siffrin definitely got the worst of it though LMAO)
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autumnaaltonen · 2 years
Note
Here’s an idea of the reader loving all of his forms
Like he would use his other forms to fluster the poor reader
Oh hells yeah. After conducting that Alucard simp poll a couple weeks ago, we now know that the love for Alucard's various forms stretch across the board.
Alucard Using His Shapeshifting to Fluster His S/O
It was common knowledge in Hellsing that there were many shapes and forms Alucard could take on. Sometimes he was shadows in the ceiling corner, spying on guests as they speak with his Master. Other times he could be mist under the dining room table, listening in on conversations between Hellsing staff on the goings-on of the manor. He was unpredictable, and this made everyone hyper aware of what they said while on duty.
You, on the other hand, have been his lover for quite a bit, and when you manage to wiggle into Alucard's dead heart as you have, guessing his patterns and whereabouts becomes a bit of a game for you.
Integra: "Damn that creature, he did not arrive for our scheduled meeting with the Iscariot, again. Where the blazes is he?"
You: "Oh, he was there. He's just hiding in your shadow again."
Alucard, from Integra's shadow on the carpet: "The sun was at it's peak. Why should I burn myself for those Catholic hypocrites?"
Integra: "Why you-get out of there!"
You: "I did advise you to close the blinds, sir."
As clever as you are, Alucard does not find this at all amusing. He lives on being a master of deception and trickery, and you just manage to throw off his whole vibe.
So one day, he decides to turn the tables on you.
You wake up early morning to start the day, and turn to kiss Alucard good morning, as he always joins you in bed before taking his daytime slumber.
To your shock, you turn to find a slobbery black dog cuddled up to your side. Baskerville licks a wet stripe up your face, getting slobber in your nose and eye.
"Hilarious", you grumble sarcastically, before shoving the hound off of you to go wash your face.
Later that afternoon, you go to retrieve a box of Sir Integra's favorite tea from the kitchen pantry, opening the door to find a young girl hanging by her neck from the ceiling. You scream in shock, falling to the ground in terror. But you quickly recognize the coal-black hair and ruby eyes.
"God damn it, Alucard! I nearly pissed myself!"
He giggles wholeheartedly from the makeshift noose, before you grab the tea bags and slam the door in his face.
You stay on guard after that, constantly on edge for the rest of the evening.
Catching onto his game, you consistently point him out from every nook and cranny you know he frequents, raining on his parade before he can get the jump on you again.
By the time you are getting ready for bead, you think he's finally given up, but then you feel the mattress and sheets shift.
"Don't even try it, Alucard. I know you're there," you grumble, just wanting some shut-eye.
But then you feel two strong hands grip your shoulders, and long legs barricade against your hips, pinning you down on the mattress.
"But why end the fun when the night is still young, my love?" a deep and sultry accented voice whispers in your ear. You look up to see the unmistakable face of Vlad staring you down, the best 'do me' look shimmering in his lustful gaze. He's stripped down to his underclothes, wearing a loose peasant shirt that gives you a welcome view of his hairy, muscular chest.
"Always keen on the element of surprise, eh Drac?" you hum.
"And there are many more surprises to come," he chuckles, before leaning down and kissing you, beginning what would turn out to be a very long night for you both <3
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ashdreams2023 · 8 months
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Hello! I was wondering if I could request a Severus Snape x older sister reader? We know Sev is like a grouchy and independent person, I kinda want to see him turn into an attention seeking little baby when it comes to his older sister lol. Like imagine Dumbledore and McGonagall's shock when they see Sev whining to a woman who they don't recognize (I was thinking she didn't go to Hogwarts and went to another magical school) They didn't even know Sev has any siblings whatsoever. So basically reader visits Severus in Hogwarts (he's already a professor) She hasn't seen him in a couple of years due to her profession or something. Reader still sees Sev as her baby brother she used to take care of.
Finally gotten to this one! I was actually dying to do this it’s so cute!
Severus snape x big sister reader
Sevy
Everyone knew not to cross their professors at hogwarts, especially the intimidating potions master, severus snape, the most feared professor in the school.
Even the older professors had a great deal of respect for the young professor.
"Honestly I can’t believe he didn’t even give me one chance to correct myself!?" One hufflepuff groaned to his friend, no one was safe from severus on a bad day, even his brightest students.
"Drop it mate, you can make up for it in the next pop test-"
"Hey boys, do you know where Professor snape office is?" The two teenagers stopped in their tracked and looked at the woman speaking to them.
You smiled in a friendly manner at them and repeated your question, one of them pointed at the end of the hall. The dungeons, that figures.
"Thank you boys" The two stared at you as you walked away.
"Who is she and why is she looking for snape?"
"Who knows, but I pity her regardless…"
Meanwhile after some walking you ended up finding the office, you looked at the time table hung on the wall, his office hours were still open.
You grinned to yourself and walked.
Albus and minerva waited and waited, it was unlike severus to miss their daily meeting after lunch but here they were alone with each other’s company for the past thirty minutes.
"You don’t think something came up, don’t you albus?"
"I’m not quite sure dear Minerva but we ought to go check on him"
The two older professors took a long and silent walk down to the dungeons, where they knew he spent most of his time and knocked on his door but no answer.
"Could he have went to do some errands?"
"In the middle of a school day? That’s very unlike him…"
"The greenhouse perhaps?" The wise witch suggested. The headmaster hummed before leading the way up to the greenhouse.
They had expected a lot but what they witnessed wasn’t what they had anticipated for.
"I swear to god sevy you need to learn how to grow your own stuff, you’re a potion master" you sighed plucking one of the plants in the very back of the greenhouse with severus kneeling down near an empty plant pot.
"You know i can’t do it right! See they keep dying on me" Severus whined gesturing to the broken pots in the corner of the place.
The headmaster and vise duty stared in disbelief, severus snape was pouting, he was whining and acting unlike his stock self.
"I’ve taught you a million times, the soil have to be the right kind, you can’t expect your big sissy to be here to help you all the time"
"I know I know, I’m not a baby anymore" he got up and dusted himself off then cringed childishly when you started wiping the dirt stuck on his face "Stop!"
"No! Hold still, just because you got taller doesn’t mean you can go around looking like we still live in rags"
Albus coughed in his fist catching the attention of both adults.
"Oh hi! Sorry to intrude, I was just helping sevy here learn how to plant a practical plant for his potion making"
"And you are?" Asked the older witch.
Severus cleared his throat spoke "This is my older sister headmaster, Minerva" the two professors looked dumbfounded by the news, severus never mentioned having a sibling and a witch at that!
"But wait…why haven’t you attended hogwarts with severus?" Albus was curious to say the least.
"Well, to make short I asked mother to go to another school because my passion for herbology couldn’t be fulfilled in hogwarts you see, so I went to Uagadou"
Severus looked down at you with settle pride, you have achieved so much throughout the years and he looked up to you, you’ve become a great scientist and made some big discoveries across the globe, many may not know your face but your stage name was to be hold.
"Anyways I came to visit sevy, it’s been so long since I saw this big baby" you laughed, he huffed pretending to be offended and pushed your arm to knock you off balance.
"Hey! Don’t test me boy! I used to change your diapers!" You pointed a finger at him.
He crossed his arms and pulled out his tongue at you.
Albus felt amused seeing the two siblings bicker but minerva chuckled, severus for once didn’t seem so uptight and proper, but rather…dare she say relaxed?
"I think you should join us to tea, I’ll love to hear your side of things, my dear son severus doesn’t speak much of his life back home"
You smirked "Oh do I have stories for you, and I think you’ll especially would enjoy the river one"
Severus’s cheeks flushed red before he ground covering his face in embarrassment "I beg you, stop making life harder!"
You didn’t care what he say and that afternoon was spent with everyone having tea and listening to your embarrassing stories about the eventful childhood in spinner’s end.
"Do you just enjoy humiliating me?"
"Oh sevy, relax you I do it because I care"
"I doubt it"
"You’re welcome"
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drdemonprince · 4 months
Note
all the recent talk about not voting has me a bit worried, for lack of a better word.
on one hand, yes so much yes, stop throwing all your time and energy in the insatiable maw of electoral politics, 5/5, no notes.
but on the other hand, where does that time and energy go then? despite lots of talk about mutual aid it doesn't seem to progress much beyond the abstract (at least in the various leftist groups/communities/etc. in my neck of the woods). it's held up as an ideal and great big important thing, but when there's shit that needs doing, it's *crickets*.
maybe it's because so much mutual aid is care work and thus, and i very much disagree with even though i care not for the label, not real activism i guess? like, a while ago a disabled comrade had ran into housing issues because of their illness, so we rustled up some folks to help clean and unfuck their home. which, yet again, were the same (also disabled) people that always show for those things.
coming of four years and counting of pandemic, that's been a consistent pattern. at a time where mutual aid was so needed, such a vacuum left by a state that didn't and/or wanted to do shit, it still fell on the shoulders of disabled people to do all the actual work while the rest just talked about abstract shit. or, to name another thing, diy hrt initiative where it's just a bunch of poor ass trans people scrounging up money to pay for supplies for trans people who have fuck all access, while the rest debates in the abstract about a more better system or whether it's even something they need to concern themselves about.
and like, yes, not pissing away your energy pleading with assholes who don't give a fuck about you is good, but it should only be the start. it sometimes feels like the big plan is: 1) not vote, 2) ???, 3) glorious anarchism/communism/mutual-aidism. i'm not arguing that they need to have it all worked out, but with so much shit that needs doing in the here and now i get a little worried. because that's going to take real work, not talk, and they're not putting in any of it.
I mean, most people won't do (what gets viewed as) "real activism" either. They don't go to protests, smash windows, call jails to check on the status of incarcerated people, cut supply lines, or anything else. And they don't vote either.
We live in a highly individualistic, atomized society filled with people who have been conditioned into an abiding self-interested apathy, and everyone is overworked and broke as shit and juggling a bunch of disabilities while not having any experience with building genuine community and lacking most of the infrastructural and social tools to do so. The number of people who are avowed leftists is vanishingly small, and among them the people who actually walk the talk or have the education and community ties to even be able to is even smaller. Not disagreeing with your read of the situations you're dealing with here, just putting them within the broader context of many very similar problems that I see touch every single aspect of organizing today. even like the most tepid liberal get out the vote kind of organizing is plagued by this, and of course that is by design.
What gives me hope in the present moment is just how many people are completely fucking done with the prevailing system, and how many are refusing to play along with its rules. A lot of the people who aren't voting are not leftists. At least not yet. Just like many of the people who are quiet quitting and half-assing it at work or just vibing on unemployment for as long as they can are not communists. But they do know that the system is bunk and is failing them, and they are refusing to be compliant within it any longer. I believe that a lot of people's better natures do get inspired during a moment of collapse. I also think there is a profound rot at the heart of settler-colonial states that fills them with people who do not recognize themselves as having any responsibility to others. That's all the more reason for such an empire to fall.
I think you're right to worry for the future, though I don't think the reason to be worried is as simple as people not people caring about disabled folks, or any other group. I always wonder who the mythical abled people are who are abnegating their duty in such an understanding of the world. I sure haven't met any of them. I only meet people who are also disabled and don't realize it.
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katyswrites · 2 years
Text
don't call me 'baby'
PART 1 | SERIES
Pairing: Steve Harrington/fem!reader
Warnings: Sugardaddy!Steve, swearing, sexual harassment/men being gross, alcohol use, smoking, age gap
Wordcount: 4k
A sugar daddy modern AU, a whirlwind summer romance in Italy, and two people from completely different walks of life, somehow finding each other in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. But, what will happen when summer ends?
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PART 1 | in the same room, at the same time
This wasn’t supposed to happen. That’s what you would tell yourself, later. But, life is funny that way - nothing ever really goes the way you’d expect it. And, when you had taken the last-minute shift at Enoteca Bruni, the fine-dining restaurant where you worked as a cocktail waitress, you could have never predicted where the night would take you.
It had started with a large reservation that had come in around 8pm, four businessmen in suits and watches that you imagined cost more than your entire month’s rent. You were used to that type - considering the prices on the wine list, nearly everyone you served here lived at least three tax brackets above you. It wasn’t a job meant for everyone - a lot of these types of customers were dismissive, rude, and expected those who serve them to disappear in the background, not to interrupt whatever they were doing, which was obviously oh-so-important. But, the tips were phenomenal, and the late night hours worked perfectly with your daytime shifts at the cafe in the city’s center.
Still, the most intriguing thing about them was that they weren’t Italian, like you had gotten used to - nor were they speaking Spanish, French, German, or any of the other languages you had learned to recognize over the last few years. No, they were American. It wasn’t often that you heard your native tongue and accent nowadays - no, it was actually jarring. But, you welcomed it. The oldest man at the table, a gray-haired, thin man with a sharp face and tailored three-piece suit, smiled when you greeted them with a hello.
“How wonderful,” he had exclaimed. “Someone from our side of the world.”
“Finally,” a younger man with a smattering of freckles on the other side of the table had said, exasperated. “We’ve got someone who actually speaks English around here.”
“Well,” you said, “To be fair, you are in Rome. I suppose you could say we are the odd-ones-out.”
He rolled his eyes, and shrugged. “Yeah, well, I guess I’m just trying to say it’s nice to actually understand who I’m talking to for once, you know? Not that I’m looking for her to talk back.”
Unfortunately, that didn’t even crack the top ten worst things a customer had said to you in your time working here. So instead, you just plastered on a cheerful smile.
“Of course. In that case, what drinks can I get started for you gentlemen?”
As the hours wore on though, it was becoming harder and harder to feign kindness. With each wave of dismissal, or snap of their fingers, you wanted to take the drinks you were serving and throw them in their faces. The worst of the bunch were probably the first older man you had spoken to, who had such a vile demeanor about him that you couldn’t quite put your finger on it; and perhaps worse than him were two of the younger men, the dark-haired one with freckles, and a sandy-haired guy with what you could only describe as a mullet.
1982 called, it wants its hairstyle back, you thought to yourself. 
It was those two who you could see undressing you with their eyes, who called you over for nonsense requests, asking you to bend over the table to get things that you knew they were perfectly capable of reaching themselves. And, you weren’t deaf; you heard the comments they made as you walked away to fetch more wine and scotch.
Look at that ass go, one of them said. I’d definitely hit it.
As if you could pull that, the other said. Besides, you’ve already got two bitches on the side Billy; leave some for the rest of us.
Don’t look at me, the sandy-haired man who was apparently named Billy retorted. If anyone around here needs to get laid, it’s Harrington.
With your back turned, you rolled your eyes, and wondered if they’d notice if you spit in their drink - that was, until no-first-name Harrington replied.
Guys, lay off - just let the girl do her job, yeah? 
You took a deep breath, and recomposed yourself - it was the bare minimum, but it was something - someone who saw you as a person, maybe.
You carried the tray over with a wide smile plastered on your face, handing out drinks as you surveyed the table. You glanced at Harrington, the quietest one in the group - you had hardly heard a word from him all night, until right now. He was handsome, on the younger side of the group, but you’d estimate still about a decade your senior; he had a thick, slightly wild head of chestnut hair, and more of a boyish look about him. And with the exception of his perfectly-tailored suit and ostentatious Rolex, he didn’t look to have much else in common with his colleagues at first glance. While they sat at ease, laughing and conversing over their drinks, he sat up straight, stoically swirling his wine.
You pulled the post-dinner cigars they had asked you to bring out of the box, slicing the end with the guillotine cutter and handing the first one to the oldest man, striking a match and lighting it for him until he drew smoke. It felt humiliating sometimes, to light the Suits’ cigars for them as if they couldn’t do it themselves, but that came with the territory in a place like this, you had learned. 
You reached Harrington last, only for him to shake his head.
“Oh, none for me - thank you though.”
Thank you - he was probably the first one from the table to say that all evening. 
“Can I get you gentleman anything else?” you asked stiffly.
“That’ll be all, for now,” the gray-haired man said, waving you off. 
You nodded, and at the bar, decided it was high time for your smoke break. You glanced at your watch - your shift was over in less than an hour, and your high heels were killing you. You signaled to the manager behind the bar that you were taking fifteen, and shouldered your way out the door.
*****
The first few minutes outside were peaceful, and relatively quiet - at least, as quiet as Rome could be at this hour. There was still the distant sound of traffic, the bustle of people on the sidewalk, many drunkenly stumbling and laughing, in the midst of making merry on a Friday night. You took a drag from your cigarette and inhaled deeply - even just a few moments off of your feet, and sitting out here on this bench in the fresh air, was starting to take the edge off. Still, you couldn’t shake that table of men - your manager had warned you that it was a very high-profile client, explaining that the dinner was likely a pretense for some multi-million dollar deal to be discussed. Still, you found yourself muttering under your breath, practicing the retorts and profanities you had wanted to throw at them. The shield you had built for dealing with customers was only so strong, and if your job wasn’t on the line, you probably would have told them to fuck off hours ago.
You were so lost in your thoughts that you don’t hear someone approaching, not until they’re right next to you, clearing their throat.
“Oh! Jesus, hi,” you say, clutching your chest with your hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”
Harrington was standing above you, hands in his pockets and his tie loosened.
“It’s fine - I promise, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
His smile was friendly, and a bit apologetic. He looked different in the dim light, a bit younger, and not at all like someone who spends his days in an office doing… whatever those men inside did.
“You mind if I sit?” he asked, gesturing to the empty spot next to you on the bench. You just shook your head, a bit wary of him still.
He smiled, and started fishing around in his pockets until he pulled out a small baggie of tobacco and a pack of rolling papers. You raised your eyebrows, and smirked.
“You roll your own cigarettes?” you asked.
He nodded, not quite looking at you, focused intently on the task and hand.
“Yep. It’s so much better than that crap you smoke, trust me.”
You scoffed, despite the fact that this man was technically your customer, and your shift wasn’t quite over yet.
“Yeah, well, I’m doing just fine with what I’ve got. Thanks though…” you trailed off, looking at him expectantly. He caught on and turned to face you, grinning.
“Steve. Steve Harrington.”
He extended a hand towards you. You hesitated for a moment, caught off-guard by the simplicity of the gesture from someone like him, but you took it, telling him your own name. His much bigger hand was warm and calloused, shaking yours firmly before pulling away.
You stared at him intently, desperately trying to figure him out as you placed your cigarette between your lips and inhaled. It was hard to figure out what exactly his deal was - but, he was talking to you like you were an actual person, so that was at least a step above most of the people you’d waited on here.
When he finished rolling, he stuck the cigarette between his lips, then sighed. 
“Shit - d’you have a light?”
You nodded, reaching into your handbag and pulling out your small blue lighter. He leaned in close, close enough that you could faintly smell his cologne, feel the heat radiating off of him in the cool May evening. It took a moment for the flame to catch, then he was leaning back and he took a drag, letting his eyes flutter shut.
You looked away quickly, staring at the street ahead. Your black cocktail dress didn’t offer much coverage, causing you to shiver slightly as a breeze picked up. It was Steve who broke the silence, after a few moments.
“I want to apologize, by the way - my, uh, colleagues… they’re assholes.”
You nearly choked at his words, whipping around to face him.
“I’m sorry… what?”
“I - I don’t know how much you heard in there, but -”
“I heard enough,” you said quickly.
His face fell, then hardened. He looked… angry? Or, perhaps disappointed.
“I really am sorry. I know I probably should have said something, but…Brenner’s my boss. And, there’s a lot of people who would kill to work for him. So, you have to understand… I mean, Tommy and Billy, they’re real jerks. I can’t stand them, most of the time. So, just know that if you want to punch them in the face, I’d understand.”
You laughed at that, shaking your head. 
“Well, just between you and me, I do want to punch them. But… I would really like to keep my job, and actually get a good tip at the end of the night. So, if I can make it through the next -” you glanced at your watch, “- half an hour or so, I’ll be alright. I’m kind of used to it anyway, working here.”
You felt his eyes on you, but didn’t turn to meet his gaze. Then, he said more softly, “I’m sorry to hear that. Really.”
You shrugged. 
“It’s fine. But, thank you - most people don’t take the time to say that, I guess.”
A moment of semi-awkward silence fell between you and him, before you added, “But, it’s good to know that I apparently have a nice ass.”
He laughed at that, choking on the smoke he was inhaling.
“Oh God - Billy and Tommy really are the worst. Did you hear that they actually were trying to make a bet about you in there?”
You raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued.
“What kind of bet?”
He suddenly broke eye contact, staring straight ahead as he shook his head vigorously.
“You know what - nevermind, you’d be disgusted -”
“Well now you have to tell me,” you conceded, inching closer. “C’mon, it can’t be that bad -”
“They said if I manage to get you to go home with me tonight, they’d agree on this huge deal with HNL that they’ve been trying to close with our European counterpart for months - they said it because they knew it wouldn’t happen, of course, I don’t really -”
“What would you get?” you asked bluntly.
“Huh?”
“If they thought you won the bet, like, would that be good for your job?”
He scoffs, nodding fervently.
“Um, yes - my yearly bonus would probably quadruple -”
“Then let’s do it,” you said.
His mouth fell open, and he was staring at you like you had three heads.
“Do what, exactly?”
He suddenly looked flushed, frozen in place as he stared at you. You felt a devilish grin spread on your face as you looked back at him, stubbing out the cigarette with the toe of your shoe.
“Here’s what we’re going to do, Harrington.”
*****
You had made sure he arrived back at the table only moments before you. The group of cajoling men were louder now, Tommy slurring his words and Billy in a heated debate with Brenner. Steve flashed a smile at the group, then started sipping his drink as if he had never left.
“What I’m saying is, if we offer them 14 percent -”
“Well, at that rate, we may as well sell them the whole goddamn company -”
“We’re going to have to budge at least a little if we want to make headway, otherwise Upside Tech might outbid us -”
“Harrington!” Tommy cried over the other two men. “Where th’hell ‘ave you been? You left me stranded with these two, they’re actually trying to work right now -”
Then, he spotted you, suddenly flashing a grin that was too wide for your liking.
“Mademoiselle - might I say, I think you’ve only gotten hotter since I last saw you -”
“That was only about twenty minutes ago,” Steve said firmly, cutting Tommy off. “Also, we’re in Italy, not France.”
Tommy waved him off, leaning closer across the table, towards where you stood. 
“May I ask, how’re you getting home tonight, little lady?”
You just smiled.
“I’m actually so happy you brought that up - while I appreciate your concern and all, I’ve got that covered.”
You then turned to Steve, who froze in place.
“Ready to go, Steve?” you asked innocently.
All conversation stopped, then, the other men around the table stopped to gape at him. A smug smirk appeared on Steve’s face, and he stood up slowly, smoothing out his suit.
“Of course, sweetheart.”
Despite yourself, your heart fluttered at the pet name, as ridiculous as it felt. 
“What?” Billy said, his jaw nearly on the floor.
But before they could ask any more questions, Steve was holding out his bent arm, which you graciously hooked yourself through. You pressed yourself into his side, flashing another grin back at the group.
“I’ve left your bill on the table - thank you gentlemen for a wonderful evening, and we hope to see you soon!”
Then Steve surveyed the table, adding, “I suspect you’ll be in touch about negotiation meetings shortly? Since that was the deal and all. I’ll see you at the office on Monday.”
Then, you and Steve turned a corner and headed out the door, to where a car was already waiting for you.
Steve gestured for you to go in ahead of him, opening the backseat door. You slid across, greeting the driver quickly and Steve followed, shutting the door behind you. The second it was closed, you both looked at each other, and burst into uncontrollable laughter.
“Oh my God - did you see their faces?”
“I’m going to live on that for years,” he added, fighting to breathe. You threw your head back, practically cackling at the memory of their dumbfounded expressions.
“That was amazing,” Steve said, regaining his composure. “Seriously, thank you.”
“Don’t mention it - I think I got off of it more than you.”
“I doubt that.”
You met his gaze, and your breath stopped for a moment. He really was handsome, his honey-brown eyes staring into yours with such sincerity that it was actually overwhelming. You looked away quickly, staring straight ahead.
“Well, if anything, it made my shift more interesting, so thanks,” you said, fiddling with your hands in your lap.
“Yeah, and you just made me my yearly bonus, so thank you.”
After a moment, he cleared his throat. 
“So, uh, where do you live? So I can get you home.”
“Oh! Right,” you said. “Um, do you have any ID or anything?”
Steve furrowed his brow, confused.
“Why are you asking?”
“Look, don’t take this personally - I’ve watched way too much Criminal Minds in my life. And, while I’m sure you’re nice and all, I’m not exactly gonna tell a strange man I’ve never met where I live without some precautions. So, I’m going to take a picture of your ID and send it to my roommate, so she knows who to turn in if I end up on the news, yeah?”
Steve just smirked, and pulled out his wallet.
“So, you think I’m strange?”
You shrugged, fighting a smile.
“Obviously, yes.”
Steve chuckled softly, fishing his license out of his wallet.
“Fair enough - as long as you’re not trying to steal my identity or anything.”
“Oh, definitely,” you said sarcastically. “I was actually going to buy a mansion in your name, if that’s alright.”
He laughed, handing you the card as you took a photo. The address was in Indiana - interesting. He was also 30, judging from his birthday - nearly ten years older than you. Also interesting. You handed it back, shooting a quick text to Robin:
I’ll explain later, but in case I get murdered!
You attached the photo and pressed send. 
Satisfied, you leaned forward, telling your address to the driver, who nodded and pulled onto the busy city street.
You leaned back in your seat, staring out the window. You passed dimly-lit alleyways and bustling restaurants, groups smoking on the sidewalk and couples kissing on benches as the evening started winding down. The silence in the car is comfortable enough, considering that you met the man beside you a few hours ago. It’s him who breaks the lull in conversation, once again.
“So, why did you do it?” he asked quietly.
“Hm?”
“The bet? Well, kind of - at least, why did you make it look like I - like we -”
You shrugged, shifting to face him.
“Honestly?”
He nodded, gaze fixed on you.
“Well - a few reasons, I guess. I knew it would get those jerks off of my back. And, I knew it would help you, with your bonus and all.”
“And why did you want to help me, though? You know nothing about me.”
“Not true,” you said firmly. “I know one thing.���
“And what’s that?”
“You’re kind.”
It was simple, but true - for the type of clientele you usually served, he was a rare breed. Maybe it wasn’t much, but it was something.
“I mean, you were nice to me, and actually treated me like a person. I can’t say that for a lot of people, not in that place.”
“Oh,” he said softly. 
A beat. Two. Then, he added, “Oh no - I didn’t even ask, did you have a car, back at the restaurant? Because we can go back and get it -”
“No, don’t worry about it - I don’t have one. I usually take the bus.”
“Oh - alright.”
You tried to stop yourself from rolling your eyes - Steve probably wouldn’t be caught dead on a bus. Or any public transport, for that matter. But, you kept it within yourself, and turned out towards the window again - the sights were getting more familiar, the buildings a little more run-down - closer to home.
You noticed your phone light up in your lap, and glanced down - a response from Robin.
Um… congrats???? Getting laid???? You’d better tell me EVERYTHING!!!!
You laughed under your breath, and saw Steve move to look at you out of the corner of your eye, curious. Before you could respond to her message, the car came to a halt right outside of your apartment building. You sighed, and turned to face the man beside you.
“Well, this is me. Thank you. For the ride home, I mean - you didn’t really have to do that.”
“Of course I did,” Steve said, waving a hand. “Had to make sure you got home safely and all, it was the least I could do.”
You both looked at each other for a moment, faces soft. You shot him another appreciative smile, and popped open the car door.
“Goodnight, Steve Harrington. Until we meet again!”
You knew the chances of seeing him ever again were slim at best, but it felt like the right thing to say, given the hilarity of the situation. After slamming the door shut, you rooted through your bag for your keys, taking the steps up to your door two at a time. Before heading inside, you turned and waved to the car one more time - Steve wasn’t visible through the tinted windows, but you liked to imagine that he was waving back, maybe even smiling fondly. 
******
Two days later, an envelope was pushed through the mail slot in your door. It was Robin who brought it in, plopping it down on the kitchen table as you sipped your coffee.
“What’s that?” you asked.
She shrugged, carding through the other envelopes and flyers.
“Don’t know. But, it’s made out to you. The envelope looks fancy though - I mean, who the Hell puts a wax seal on letters anymore?”
You felt your heart skip a beat, and snatched it up, turning it over in your hands - it was thick, the nice kind of stationary that you had to go out of your way to buy. There was a return address, but it seemed like it was for an office building of some kind, with no name associated. And, right on the center, a red wax seal with an H. You felt your face grow hot, your stomach doing somersaults as you practically tore the thing open.
Inside was a simple piece of paper with a note scrawled on it. After writing out your name, it read:
Thank you again, for the other night. You have no idea how much that helped me out. Plus, it was probably the best time I’ve had at a work event… well, ever. But, since you provided such great service… you really should be tipped appropriately. I also made sure to leave a glowing review with your manager the next day. Buy yourself something nice.
S.H.
You glanced back in the envelope, and gasped - loudly enough that Robin stopped what she was doing, and joined you in her awe.
“Is that -”
“Yeah,” you whispered. “It’s a shit ton of money.”
He had sent a stack of €100 notes - you hadn’t counted yet, but it had to be over €1,000, at least. 
“Dude, that’s like, at least two months’ rent right there, right?” Robin asks, flabbergasted.
“I - yeah.”
“Okay, be honest - are you a drug dealer? Is that, like, a side gig you’ve got going?”
You shook your head incredulously, gripping the money - the most cash you had ever held at one time in your life.
“No,” you admitted. “That would be a lot easier to explain.” Steve Harrington, you thought to yourself, what’s your deal?
Notes: a brand new fic! A ton of credit goes to my friend Em, who indulges my fantasies and headcanons with plenty of ideas of her own. Also, I've never been to Rome, so bear with me here. Also, please always read content warnings before reading each part!
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gurugirl · 2 years
Note
I’m obsessed with the double bj in that video the anon send with the two girls in plaid skirts 🥵🥵🥵🥵 it’s so intense and submissive and almost like the NEED it
So fucking hot
HI anon! I changed a few things (a lot) up - I know this was originally something for professor!Harry, school girl subby stuff... but it gave me another idea and it led to fratboy!harry (edging toward lhh!harry) x college student!reader 3.3k words
Summary: Harry's hot but he's nice and he's into you tonight.
Warning: Smut, threesome (light)
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Harry was the guy everyone wanted to be or wanted to be with. He was the hot guy that knew he was hot. On campus, all the girls talked about how big his dick was and how he never slept with anyone more than once. He just liked to fuck around.
And you figured if you could ever get the chance you'd take it. He was gorgeous, and despite his slutty ways, he was still nice to everyone. He wasn't a jerk, he just liked to sleep around. And what's so wrong with that anyway? He was a typical college guy just looking for fun.
At the end of the semester, there was a big party to end the year. All of your friends were there, including Harry. He was wearing black jeans with a button-up shirt, barely buttoned, to showcase his tattoos. Harry's body was quite insane. He was an athlete, and his frame was evidence of it. Most people had seen Harry’s upper torso on display. Lean and chiseled but not too lean. Tattoos, smooth skin, and a tiny bit of hair on his chest. A belly button that looked like a perfect spot to stick a tongue. But of course, you’d never act on it. You were acquaintances with him. Not super close but he always acted like you were his good buddy. Though he acted that way with everyone. So everyone just really liked Harry.
You and your friend Heidi were ogling him. Everyone was. Harry was just too good-looking. And funny. And charming. He literally had his pick on any given night.
So when he started flirting with you out of the blue, and whispering compliments in your ear you felt your nerves peak. He was hardcore trying to hook up with you and you were not going to say no, you just hadn't expected it. Having Harry's attention on you was like, some kind of special once-in-a-lifetime gift that you were so grateful to receive.
And the way he approached you was just typical charming Harry.
“Hey, Y/n! Wow, it’s great to see you! You look amazing. Was wondering if you would be here tonight,” his eyes on yours as if you were the only person in existence.
The first thing was that he remembered your name. Even though you two had spoken before and he could recognize your face, it always astonished you that he was so good at remembering your name. And it wasn’t just you. He remembered everyone’s name.
The second thing was the subtle compliment and the idea that he was thinking of you and wondering if you’d be there. Even if it was just a tactic he used to make you feel special, well, it worked. You were a goner.
So he stayed by your side, making conversation, touching your hair, your arm, your hand, and low back. When he began leaning down to speak into your ear you realized what he was doing. Especially when his nose hit your ear and then his breath was felt on your neck.
"Let's go back to yours. S’kind of obnoxious here. You live close by, right?" Harry asked you when he brushed his mouth on your neck. Your head was spinning. You didn't know how it had happened, but it did. And he knew what he was doing was working when you did nothing but lean into him and nod and giggle the whole night.
"Okay, yeah. Just like a five-minute walk away. Uh... I have to tell my friend I'm going," you stammered your words.
You led Harry to Heidi so you could tell her you were leaving and when she realized who you were leaving with she was speechless, looking from you to him with wide eyes.
Harry leaned into your ear to speak quietly, "She can join us if you want. Could be fun."
That was the most forward he’d been all night. Sure he was clearly flirting with you and he’d even asked to go back to yours, all clear signs of what path he intended on taking, but this? The invitation to have your friend come with you two for some fun?
And that led you having a bit of a threesome with your friend and the hottest guy on campus.
Back at your dorm room, you gave both Heidi and Harry a beer and you sat on your couch together, Harry next to you on the arm of the couch, his fingers moving over your neck as he spoke casually. But you felt his fingers on your skin and it had you burning hot.
Heidi excused herself to the bathroom and Harry slid down to sit next to you. His thigh pressed to yours, his arm over your shoulder.
“Can I kiss you?” His face was turned toward yours and when you turned toward him you nodded and held your breath.
It was soft and wet. Harry was a bit of a slobbery kisser to be quite honest but it was hot. He was not afraid to use his tongue and kiss you like you’d been dating for a while. The way he kissed was like someone who was very comfortable with you already. He didn’t mind going right in with an open mouth and a tongue jutting into yours.
You both angled your bodies to face one another and Harry’s hands pulled you in close by your waist.
When Heidi came back you heard her but Harry didn’t stop his lips from ravaging yours so you just went with it. You didn’t know what to expect really. When he invited Heidi to come you kind of thought this would turn into a threesome of sorts. You didn’t mind that prospect. You and Heidi had messed around a few times before. She was cute. In fact, you thought you and her would end up at your dorm room after the party and have sex again. But things changed when Harry came into the picture.
When Harry broke from the kiss he kept his eyes on yours, “Wanna have mess around a little?” He raised his brows at you and then looked up to Heidi who was standing next to the couch watching.
And both you and Heidi agreed it would be fun. Heidi dragged Harry to your bed for more space because your couch was more like a love-seat. Harry pulled your arm and kept his eyes on you.
And then everything just happened so fast.
Harry switched from kissing you both and removing your clothes, and then you and Heidi took his clothes off together. Harry seemed to really be enjoying it. He sat back and watched as you both went to town, kissing him, touching him, licking his thighs and his abs. Heidi pulled you in for a little kiss and you both giggled. It felt crazy to be doing this. You’d never had a threesome before.
"Why don't you both lick my cock. It's right there. Needs some attention ladies," Harry spoke as he gestured toward his thick and long dick with a smirk.
So you settled on one side of Harry's hips and Heidi on the other. You both smiled at one another and licked from his shaft upward, starting off slowly at first. The smallest gasp fell from Harry’s lips and you kept your eyes on him as Heidi moved in between his legs and licked his scrotum, dabbing kisses to his skin with wet lips.
“Fuck…” Harry moaned the curse.
You leaned over him and kept your lips at his shaft and worked your way up to his tip, your eyes on his and his on yours. The moment you kissed his slit he groaned and put his hands into your hair.
You opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out, licking the underside of his sensitive frenulum, making him moan and grip your hair tighter. You pushed his crown past your lips and continued swirling your tongue over him.
It turned out to be a lot more intimate than you imagined. With the way Harry’s eyes stayed pinned on yours and his mouth was dropped open, small huffs and moans falling from his lips…
You opened your mouth wider and went down over him, forcing yourself to push him as deeply as possible. You kept one hand at the base of his shaft as you drooled over his head and bobbed up and down. Heidi kept her mouth on his balls and the insides of his thighs.
“Y/n, fuck baby, that feels really good, can you suck on it?” Harry cooed and you immediately began to suck, hollowing your cheeks and Harry threw his head back with a sharp inhale.
When you felt a bit braver you pushed him further back and the moment you felt his tip scrape the back of your throat you gagged and coughed, pulling up to suck in a breath and compose yourself.
Harry chuckled and thumbed over the drool on your cheek with a smile, “Y’okay?”
You coughed a bit and nodded, “Sorry. You’re really big, Harry.”
Harry grasped your jaw and pulled you up to kiss your mouth. You hadn’t expected him to kiss you at that moment but when he brushed his lips to yours something inside of you bloomed and you needed more. You kept your hands planted on his chest as he licked into your mouth and breathed out hard through his nose.
Harry broke the kiss and looked at you for a moment with a small smile, “Keep talking like that, and I’m gonna fall in love,” he laughed, jokingly. But the words he spoke got you hot and made your heart pound out of your chest. He was definitely good at choosing the right thing to say to make you feel special.
Suddenly Harry closed his eyes and sighed. You looked down to see that now Heidi was deep-throating him and doing a better job than you had. She was taking him nearly all the way. You felt a bit disappointed that you hadn’t been better at it.
You sat and just watched for a moment, not knowing what to do while Harry’s cock was being occupied by your friend and Harry was clearly enjoying her mouth on him.
Harry opened his eyes and dragged his gaze down your body and then he moved his fingers to your inner thighs, "Can I feel?" he asked with brows raised.
You nodded and Harry moved his hand to your warm center, pressing his thumb right onto your clit at first go. Like he already knew where exactly where to put his fingers. He moaned panted, his cock being well taken care of, as he slid his long digits through your crease keeping his gaze on yours.
When Heidi came up for air, she kept her hand on his thick shaft and Harry shifted himself, suddenly laying back, his head down on the pillow, “Climb up, Y/n. Ride my face,” he grabbed your wrist and pulled at you. You looked back down to Heidi who had to shuffle her position when Harry moved to lie down.
You laughed and looked back up to Harry and he had his brows raised at you in question, “She can suck me off and I’ll eat you out. C’mon. I can’t wait to get a taste.”
Harry’s grasp and pull on your wrist had you straddling his face. You looked back behind you at Heidi again and she smiled at you as she went back to work on his thick dick.
Harry let go of your wrist and put both of his hands on your thighs and pulled you down over him, making your folds settle directly onto his mouth. Harry watched you close as he began licking you up and down and moving his mouth. You didn’t know what to do with your hands so you put them into Harry’s curls that were visible at the top of his head. You kind of liked how he looked with his face between your thighs.
When he began to suck on your clit you lost it. You couldn’t stop moaning. You began to move your hips over him and grind down as you felt yourself begin to slowly peak.
You could hear Heidi making small gurgling noises and Harry was going from watching you to having his eyes closed in ecstasy. He was moaning into your pussy as his own orgasm was feeling close.
All of the sudden, Harry’s eyes popped open and he jerked, moving his hands to your thighs to move you off of his mouth, “Stop, Heidi!”
You were panting, so close to your own orgasm. You could hear Heidi shift behind you and Harry had pushed you off all the way.
Harry sat up and looked between you and Heidi, “Can I fuck you, Y/n? I know you were close and I was close too, because that was really good, Heidi,” he looked at her as he complimented her skills, “But I want to fuck you, wanna be inside of you.”
You looked at Heidi and back to Harry with hesitation, you were still breathing hard, “Uh, well, if you’re okay with that Heidi. And you have to wear a condom, Harry.”
Heidi laughed, “I’m only here for moral support. Harrys got a nice cock but do your thing.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t be fucking you without a condom, babe. Don’t worry. And Heidi, why don’t you lie next to us, rub your pussy and watch. Want you to come too, love.”
Harry was nothing if not thoughtful.
You smiled and reached into your nightstand to pull out a condom. Heidi perched herself at the headboard and grinned at you. You’d never done anything like this before but you didn’t want her feeling left out.
Harry pulled you over his lap and had you straddle him while he pushed the condom down onto himself.
He really did have a nice big dick just as rumored. You knew you’d be coming fast with how close you’d gotten while he was eating you out.
“C’mon, Y/n. Climb aboard. Know that tasty little pussy is gonna love this,” Harry grasped the base of his cock and pulled at you with his other hand to bring you up to his dick.
You were nice and slick already. You put your hands on his chest and moved yourself over his condom-covered tip and slowly sunk over him.
You gasped and then your jaw dropped open. He was thicker than you’d had before, and you could feel it. It took a couple of moments of sinking down and pulling back upward before you could settle over him all the way but once you did, it was deep and it stretched your pussy in a way you didn’t know was possible.
With Harry’s balls tucked up to your bottom you began to grind down over him. Slick noises coming from your pussy being fucked into and Heidi’s fingers over her clit as Harry moaned and his breathing got deeper as his chest rose and fell under your palms.
“Damn… that’s really good Y/n. Fuck…” You worked yourself up and down, back and forth over him, keeping your clit in contact with his pubic bone. Goosebumps rose over your skin and you looked at Heidi. She was watching where you and Harry were connected, her small groans were sweet.
Soon, the bed began to creak under your weight as you started going faster, and Harry bent his knees and planted his feet flat onto the mattress, and began fucking into you harder and faster than you’d been able to. His skin hitting yours and his cock punching into your insides gave you that familiar tingle again. He was hitting all the good spots and you were going to come.
“S’right… come on my cock, Y/n. Yes… good girl…” Harry’s groans were pinched. He was on the verge of coming himself.
The three of you were moaning and slick and nearing your orgasms. Harry’s grunts and panting got louder the closer he got and when he pulled you down hard over his cock and fucked upward, you ground your hips down and it gave the perfect friction to your clit. Your thighs quivered and you couldn’t stop your loud moans.
“Harry! OH yes! Oh my god!” You came on his cock and Harry finally stilled his hips, pumping his come into the condom as he moaned and threw his head back into the pillow.
Your pussy pulsed and squeezed over him as you came. You nearly forgot about Heidi as Harry held onto your bottom, keeping you down over him. You leaned in and pressed your mouth to his as you both came down from your orgasms.
Harry smoothed his hands up your back and put one onto the back of your hair, pushing his fingers into your strands as you lay over his chest.
The moment felt so sweet and so soft.
“Uh… guys… I think I’m gonna go,” Heidi said as she climbed off the bed. You and Harry watched her.
“Oh, you don’t have to go, Heidi!” You said as you sat up a little, realizing Harry was still inside of you.
Heidi laughed and shook her head, “I’m just down the hall anyway. This was fun, though. You two look like you could use some alone time. Don’t worry about me. Seriously.”
You looked down at Harry and he smirked at you, keeping his hands at your bottom to hold you close.
You watched Heidi leave your room and felt the awkwardness begin to fill up the space between you and Harry.
“Hey, s’okay. She’s fine,” Harry reassured. You looked down at him with confusion.
“How do you know?” You asked. Harry moved his hands back up your spine and pulled you down to his chest again.
“Did she look upset? I think she knew from the start that I came here for you anyway.”
You scoffed and rolled your eyes, “Please. You’re just being nice…”
Harry moved to kiss your mouth and then rolled you over as he pulled himself out. Lying on your sides you both looked at one another.
“I am a nice guy, Y/n. It was fun to have another girl here, I won’t lie, but it’s not why I came here. I just think you’re cool. And pretty. Even without her, it would’ve been really good. Don’t you think?”
You smiled and nodded, “Yeah. I guess.”
“Good. Now, let’s get some sleep. I’m exhausted.” Harry stretched his limbs before pulling the condom off his dick.
You scrunched your brows at him in question.
“What? Did you just think I was gonna hit it and quit it?” He laughed. His stupid phrase made you laugh.
“Well, I mean… You’re not one to stay after sex are you? I just thought you’d leave after.”
Harry cocked his head to the side and frowned as he sat up, “Do you want me to go?”
He stood from the bed, tossing the condom into the trash and pulled his underwear up his legs.
“Well, no. It would be fine if you stayed. I just didn’t expect…” you trailed off your sentence as Harry climbed back into bed next to you and pulled you into his body.
“I don’t know what you’ve heard about me but I’m a gentleman, Y/n,” he smiled, “And if I go to someone’s place or they come to mine and it’s late we’ll usually stay the night. It’s safer for everyone that way. Maybe we can mess around again before I leave in the morning. If you want.”
You were slightly surprised. Harry had been nothing but nice the whole time but you really didn’t expect him to stay around after.
“Okay,” you smiled and shrugged.
Harry smiled and pulled the sheet up over your body and kept his arms around you as he fell asleep and you smiled to yourself knowing you’d just slept with the Harry Styles. The hottest guy on campus.
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banditthewriter · 11 months
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Run, Run, Run - Billy Russo
Here we have 2023's Halloween fic! I haven't written much fic this year and I can't promise that I'll write much/any next year, but I wanted to make sure I got this done. It's not edited or proof read beyond brief skims so sorry about that. It's also 17.2k so.
Warnings: Murder. Blood. Depiction of serial killer attacks. Discussion of scars and grief and fear.
Summary: The reader survives an attack by a known serial killer when they are in high school. Only the attacks start up again when they are older and in another state. Is it related to the first attacks? Is it a copy cat? And more importantly...is it someone the reader knows?
As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!
[gif is mine]
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You hadn’t been to many parties since you started high school, but the ones you had gone to had always gotten rowdy. Spilled out all over a house except for any rooms marked Occupied or Out of Bounds. The front and back yards would be covered in cans and bottles and cups. And quite a few people passed out.
This party might be in full swing, but it was nothing like the last parties you’d gone to. There were a lot of people, but everyone was squished into the basement den. A few went up into the kitchen in sets of two or three or more, but they all came right back after they got a refill or more snacks.
As it was, there were only about twenty people at this party. Once upon a time that’d be laughed at, considered a failure of a party, but this time? You were honestly surprised to see this many people at the graduation party most people had been looking forward to.
Why were things different this time? Simple. 
Over the last three weeks, seven people had been brutally murdered in your small, sleepy coastal town. Four teenagers, one parent, one police officer, and one unlucky Good Samaritan. Everyone said that nothing like this had ever happened here before and you believed it. It wasn’t a place where people left their doors unlocked, but murders? Multiple murders in just a few weeks? It was unheard of.
The media named the murderer the Seaside Slasher, but tonight everyone had his real name. He had been caught when he fled the scene of his last murder. No one recognized the name as being a local. As terrifying as it was that a random man had come to your town to brutally murder complete strangers, it didn’t matter. It was over. He was in jail.
Parents had reluctantly granted permission for the seniors to go to parties as a way to celebrate the upcoming graduation and a way to mourn the loss of their classmates. Your parents had been very hesitant to grant permission, but your older brother who had come to town made them agree that you deserved to let loose.
Not that this party was much of a way to do that. Music played so softly that you could barely hear it, teenagers sat around and talked quietly. You hadn’t expected a blowout or anything, but this felt more like study hall. 
You could either stay here and be reminded of the horrors of the last few weeks or you could go home and actually relax. It wasn’t a hard decision.
A quiet goodbye to your group of friends later, you went up the stairs and slipped your shoes on. You checked your purse for your things and then headed to the front door.
“Where you headed sweetie?”
You turned around and saw the mom of the student whose house you were in. You smiled as you hoisted your purse over your shoulder.
“I’m going to head home. My parents didn’t want me out for long with everything.”
The mom smiled, but you could tell it was with a heavy heart. She looked out the glass of the front door and frowned a bit.
“It’s late. Do you want me or my husband to drive you?”
That wasn’t a rare occurrence even without the murders still hanging over the heads of everyone, but you still shook your head.
“No, I live one street over, on Granite Avenue. It won’t take long.”
She laughed a bit as she reached out and touched my shoulder.
“I suppose I shouldn’t be so cautious. He was caught, wasn’t he? We’re safe now.”
“But it’s hard to switch gears that fast,” you added, since that’s exactly how your parents had worded it. She laughed as if you had read her mind, but you could see she was still a bit hesitant to let you walk. “I’ll call once I’m home. How’s that?”
With your friend’s mom placated, you headed out into the night air. It wasn’t overbearingly hot, even though summer was right at the cusp. Living this close to the coast meant there was also a little bit of a breeze though.
You walked down the street a few blocks before you cut across to your own street. There weren’t many sounds in the distance, just the sound of your feet on the asphalt, but you still felt the hair rise on the back of your neck the longer you were out. You sped up your pace until you could see your house clearly, the front porch light on to welcome you home.
Maybe your parents had the right idea to not want you to go out. It didn’t matter that you were safe, right then you felt like you were being hunted.
On the front porch you pulled out your key and let yourself in. There were no lights on upstairs or in the living room as you put your purse down and tugged off your shoes. You bypassed the stairs and went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. With it in your hand, you took a few sips before you headed to the stairs that led down to the den where your brother was staying. There wasn’t an overhead light on but flickers from the television. He was probably awake though and you wanted to let someone know that you were home.
Down the stairs, you looked over to the couch and saw the back of your brother’s head as he was facing the television which was on the local news on mute. Right as you opened your mouth to say something to alert him to your presence, you saw what was on the television screen.
Captions ran across the bottom of the screen in a delay to the way the anchor’s mouth was moving, but you saw the picture in the corner of the screen and the tag under it.
SEASIDE SLASHER ESCAPED POLICE CUSTODY
“Oh god,” you whispered as you stared at the news footage. Somehow the murderer had gotten free and whereabouts were unknown. 
You needed to call your friend and let them know that you were home and also what had happened, in case they didn’t already know. You needed to wake your parents. You needed to…
“Jere?”
You whispered your brother’s name, not wanting to scare him, but he didn’t budge from watching the news. You flicked the light on which would have ordinarily caused him to at least jerk but he didn’t move still.
Unease filled you as you tiptoed across the carpet to the edge of the couch. As you peered around, multiple things happened at once.
The first was that you saw your brother, his eyes dull and face slack as blood oozed from his neck. He was propped up on the couch to look like he was still alive, but he very much wasn’t. 
The second was that crumpled on the floor in front of the couch, hidden from view at first, was your mom. Her face was upturned a bit, but had the same dull eyed look as your brother as she laid in a pool of blood that soaked into the thick carpet underfoot.
The third was that, from the corner of your eye, you saw something move in the reflection of the framed picture of your family that hung over the television. That split second heads up is what made you spin around only to be face to face with a masked murderer who held a bloodied knife in his hand.
The scream came out of you all at once, from the horror of seeing your murdered brother and sister to the terror of being face to face with their murderer. It all happened so quickly that you just screamed for it all as you immediately started to run. You tossed the glass of water you held at his face as you took off across the room.
It meant you had to run through the pool of blood and you felt your socks soak in some of it as you did, but you couldn’t focus on that. You couldn’t focus on the fact that you’d just run past the dead bodies of your loved ones. You could only focus on survival.
Another scream came out of your throat and you felt something slash against your shoulder. He had caught up to you. You bounced off the wall and then darted behind the couch, desperate to get to the stairs, but he was right on you. Your hand grasped a picture frame from the shelf nearest you and you spun around to slam it against his face as you scrambled, screaming as his knife cut into your stomach. You needed to put distance between you and him, needed to get up the stairs. Needed to…
Was your dad even alive? Maybe he had been killed too. Maybe there was no one in the house to hear you scream.
Your face was slammed against the corner of the wall near the stairs, another slash of the knife as it went across your shoulder blades. The den wasn’t large enough to run from him, nowhere to hide. You were going to be killed, you were going to be—
A thunderous noise came to your attention right before someone came down the stairs and barreled into the body that was holding you against the wall, the knife carving against your back and the back of your arm as he was ripped away. You screamed as you spun around, but you watched as your dad wrestled the masked man to the floor and ripped the knife from his hands. Even though the other man fought back, your dad had something to help him.
Cuffs. He was in his police uniform so he must have just gotten home and heard your screams. 
As your heart stopped pounding in your ears you heard your dad’s voice break through the fog.
“–911, okay? You need to call 911!” 
You stumbled over to the landline that was kept in the den, your feet screaming as you did, but you didn’t focus on that. Just on getting to the phone. Hitting the 9 then the 1 then the 1 again. Then you slumped against the ground as a voice came across to ask what was your emergency.
“Please,” you begged softly as your eyes went to the dead bodies that you could clearly see, your eyes welling up with tears as you felt nausea roll through you. “Oh god, please just…please.”
A bloodied hand entered your vision and you screamed, but your dad bent down so that you could see his face.
“Give me the phone sweetheart, let me,” he said, tears in his eyes. 
You must have given it to him. Or maybe he just took it from you. Either way, you watched as he walked back to where he had tackled the masked man as he spoke quickly into the phone. He stumbled over to the body of your mom and knelt down, those tears now pouring over his cheeks. You couldn’t hear his words, but you closed your eyes so you couldn’t see it anymore. 
Everything hurt. Your feet from walking through broken glass, either from your water that you’d thrown or the picture you’d smashed against his face. Your back from the multiple knife slashes. Your stomach from the knife. Both of your arms from the knife. Your head from being bashed into the wall.
Your heart. That’s what hurt worse. 
“You sure this is what you want?”
You looked over at your dad and then back down to the papers in your hands. It listed the information about your dorm room assignment and orientation. You were about 30 miles away from the city but your dad was finally asking the question you knew had been on the tip of his tongue since you had told him that you had gotten into NYU.
“Little late to change my mind, isn’t it?”
“Not at all. I’ll turn this car around right now if you ask me to.”
You knew he would, but you didn’t want him to.
At one point you had contemplated going to a college closer to home, maybe driving in to see your parents every now and then. Maybe you’d go to your brother’s college. Then…
“This is what I want,” you said softly as you looked out of the window to the cars that were all heading the same direction.
“Okay sweetheart,” your dad replied equally softly. “You know I’ll worry about you in a city like New York, but I can’t fault you for wanting to get as far away as you can.”
Your arms subconsciously came around your stomach, fingers searching out the rigid raised scar that stretched beside your naval almost to your side.
“Bad things happen in the city, but bad things happen in small towns too,” you reminded your dad, as if he ever needed a reminder. 
As if he hadn’t nailed the door to the den shut the day of the funeral.
“Maybe I’ll move out this way too,” he said instead of addressing your comment. “Less travel so we can see each other.”
Normally the thought of a parent moving to be closer to where you were going to college would seem embarrassing or ridiculous. This time it sounded like a good idea.
“Maybe you should,” you replied as you looked over at your dad, the bags under his eyes and the gray that seemed to sprout up in the last six months. “I think that would be a good idea.”
Your roommate was out at another party, but you didn’t mind. You’d gotten used to the solitude, even surrounded by people as you were in New York.
Instead you stared at the computer screen where you had been doing homework. An email had come into your personal box and desperate for a change in pace, you’d opened it. Now you were unable to look away.
A news alert. You’d set it up before you left for college, although this was the first alert you’d gotten. The article was short and to the point, but you kept staring at the headline.
SEASIDE SLASHER SENTENCED TO DEATH
Your phone rang as you read the words again and you answered without looking at the caller ID. You already knew who it was.
“Did you see–”
“Yes,” you said quickly, cutting your dad off. “Yeah, I’m looking at it now.”
Both of you sat in silence on the phone for a few more minutes, neither of you sure what to say at first.
“It’ll be years before it’s actually carried out,” your dad said finally. “These things go through certain stages and he can appeal but, it’s not like there’s much chance of him winning. Justice will be served.”
You closed your eyes and flipped through memories of that night like a flipbook. You felt the horror and terror and pain flow through you all over again.
“Good.”
“You’ll never guess who I saw earlier,” your friend Karen said as she flopped down onto your couch. “Never in a million years guess.”
“Frank Castle,” you teased back, not needing to guess. 
Her laughter was a good enough answer to tell you that you were right. You laughed as you spun around in your desk chair to look at her.
“And? Did he ask you out or are you continuing to pretend not to like him?”
This was a pretty common sight in your tiny little apartment. You and Karen had met in college and stayed friends even with both of you having hectic lives. Now, out in the real world as it was, you two still hung out a few times a week. To the point where you each had keys to the other’s places.
“He asked me out.”
You let out a whoop and pumped your fist in the air. 
“Knew he had it in him!”
“Oh shut up,” she laughed even as she got a starry look in her eyes. “I think I’ve led him on quite a chase already.”
Those two had circled each other for a while, neither one relenting at first even though it was obvious they both liked each other. You were almost annoyed at how perfect they were for each other.
“He said he has this friend named Kevin. He wanted to know if…”
You weren’t sure why Karen had trailed off until you realized you were frowning. 
“No blind dates,” you said as you spun back around to your computer. “I appreciate it and all, but I’m fine.”
Your hand went down to your stomach and traced the ridge of the scar in a familiar fashion. You knew without looking that Karen had caught the gesture.
“I know that your first time ended badly, but not every guy is going to…”
She trailed off but you turned to look at her.
“To what, freak out when he sees me naked because I look like someone tried to unsuccessfully gut me like a fish?”
Your college boyfriend had been surprised when he’d seen you without a shirt on, but that wasn’t what had ruined the mood. Even when he’d seen the scars on your back or your arms, he would still have been willing to go further, but it was you that stopped it.
Simply because he had asked “what happened?” As if that wasn’t a reasonable question at that moment.
“I know that you don’t like talking about what happened,” Karen started softly, and then a little more forceful when you scoffed, “but you can’t keep going like this. You rarely leave your apartment unless it’s to come to mine, you never date because you don’t want to talk to anyone about what happened, you only ever talk to me or your dad. It’s not healthy.”
The hand that had pressed against the scar reached up to work the mouse on your computer, although your eyes were unfocused as your mind replayed Karen’s words over and over again.
“Have you thought about going back to a counselor?”
You shook the mouse to make the screensaver go away.
“The last one looked freaked out when I tried to explain what happened. Hard to go back to one after that.”
Karen was one of the only people in the city that knew what had happened to you. It had happened one night about two years into being friends when the two of you had gone out drinking. You’d gotten spooked by someone wearing a ski mask, even though it was winter and obviously cold outside. Karen had found you having a panic attack in the bathroom and everything had just flowed out of you.
She was a great friend, your best friend. That was the only reason you didn’t kick her out of your apartment as she pushed for you to better yourself.
Except you didn’t want to keep having this conversation, so you opened your mouth to change topic but your cell ringing stopped you. Your dad’s picture showed up so you answered it with a smile.
“Hey dad.”
“Hey sweetheart,” he started, his voice slow and careful. “What are you up to?”
“Just sitting at my apartment with Karen,” you said as you turned back to Karen who called out a hello to your dad as she picked up a magazine off your coffee table. “What’s up?”
It took a moment before he answered.
“Have you been watching the news?”
Both you and your dad lived in New York, although he was a ways away from the city, but you knew he didn’t mean the local news. Not even state news. There was something in his voice that told you he meant the news back home.
“No,” you said as you turned to your computer and typed in a search. “I turned off my alerts a while back. Why, what…oh.”
The headline was the first one that popped up, sixteen hours old.
SEASIDE SLASHER EXECUTED
The article wasn’t very long, but you read through it twice just in case. Pretty to the point. No stay of execution was ordered, so the execution had been scheduled. Some of the family members of the victims were present, noticeably absent was the family of the last victims but you and your dad’s names weren’t listed at least. His last words were quoted near the bottom of the article.
“You have no idea. I’ll be back.”
You closed your eyes and took a few breaths until you were regulated once more. When you opened your eyes, Karen was standing beside you and obviously reading the screen because her hand went to your shoulder to give you an encouraging squeeze.
“I guess it’s over,” you said as you covered her hand with yours.
“I guess so,” your dad said back.
For some reason, neither of you sounded convinced.
It had been Frank’s idea to leave the city for a few days. While his reasoning was different from yours, you had to admit that you weren’t against the idea. It was around Halloween and while that holiday had not always been an issue for you, sometime over the last few years you just started to react differently. 
Even though the man that had killed multiple people in your town, including your mom and brother, had been executed a few years ago, you still felt like you couldn’t fully breathe and be at ease. You didn’t know how to explain it, but that’s just how you felt. Halloween in the city meant seeing people dressed in costumes and a majority of that wasn’t a problem. It just put you more on edge.
Not that your apartment ever got trick or treaters.Still.
“My friend is gonna come out to join us,” Frank said as he carried your bags into the little cabin. “Before you say anything, it’s not a setup kind of thing. Billy is just like a brother to me, I want him to meet the girl that’s like a sister to Karen.”
“Karen already told me. Plus I’ve heard a lot about this Billy guy over the years, it’d be nice to actually meet him.”
Frank was a great guy and had been great to Karen since the two of them had gotten their shit together to start dating. You hadn’t known that Frank was military when the two of them first met, but they made it work. In fact you couldn’t think of any couple that was as in love as the two of them.
So no, you knew that Frank wasn’t the type to try to push a blind date on you. You’d heard a hundred stories about Billy Russo but whenever they were back in the city, you weren’t able to meet up. Sometimes it was for legitimate reasons, deadlines for work or that one memorable Thanksgiving you had the stomach flu. Sometimes it was just because your anxiety and fear had gotten triggered by other situations and you couldn’t leave your house.
This was good though. You were out in the world which always made Karen happy, you were going to meet Frank’s best friend which would make him happy, and you were secluded from any potential jumpscares that Halloween might provide which made you happy. It was a win-win-win. 
Two frozen pizzas were popped into the oven and the three of you settled into the living room to watch a movie. Frank got updates from Billy on his own travel out from the city to a remote cabin that you all had rented for the long weekend. When you’d asked why he hadn’t met up with you all to head out together, Frank revealed that Billy liked to do things on his own.
You understood that. 
The movie was some actiony Blockbuster that you only vaguely recognized the name of, but it wasn’t really meant to keep everyone’s attention. It was more background noise while the three of you talked. Karen was in the middle of a story from her work at the law office when what sounded like a car pulling up had all of you looking over to the door.
“Bill said he still had an hour left,” Frank said as he checked his phone again. Then he stood up and approached the door and looked through the glass. “Huh. I don’t see a car besides ours.”
Karen frowned and got up to move over to the large glass windows that you had pulled the curtains closed on. She opened them just a bit and looked around.
“Think they drove around to the back? The driveway wraps around the house.”
Frank walked out of the living room and into the kitchen to check back there, but called that there wasn’t a car there either. 
“Maybe someone just turned around in the driveway and was gone before you got up?” you offered as you tried not to let yourself get swept away in worry and fear.
“That…is a good possibility,” Karen agreed as she let go of the curtains and moved to sit next to you once more. “Out here away from the city you can hear everything like that. It didn’t sound too close, now that I’m thinking about it.”
Frank came back into the living room with another piece of pizza halfway eaten already as he nodded in agreement. He sat down on the chair closest to the television and put his feet back up on the coffee table.
“I always forget you both are from small towns,” he said as he wiped his hands on a napkin before he crumpled it and tossed it with the rest of the dinner’s debris on the coffee table. “I’m used to cities.”
You stretched your legs out and then moved so that you were sitting criss cross on the couch cushion.
“My town was tiny. The kind of place where everyone knew everyone, secrets were nearly impossible to have, people felt comfortable going to anyone’s house and asking for something if they needed it. It was…it was a great place to grow up.”
You waved off Frank’s look of concern with a small laugh.
“It’s okay, I’m okay. The last therapist said that I needed to get better about talking about the good things from my past. It wasn’t all…bad.”
Karen reached over and squeezed your hand in support which just made your chest swell with a bitter happiness. How bad off were you that you could be praised for doing something as simple as talking about the good days of your past?
Knock knock.
All three of you looked over at the door. Frank glanced over at his phone once more and then stood up. He went to the door and looked out of the small window, but didn’t seem to see anyone. When his hand went to the bolt, you opened your mouth but immediately closed it.
This was just a normal situation. It wasn’t anything to get worked up about. If you gave into your fear every time something happened that was out of your hands, you’d never get to have a normal life.
He opened the door just a few inches and looked out, the light from the house flooding out onto the porch. He flicked on the overhead light but didn’t open the glass door to step out and check.
Tap tap tap.
All of you looked over to the window that was in front of you, angled so that someone standing in front of it wouldn’t be visible from the front door. You opened your mouth and looked over at Karen who was frowning. Frank held a hand out, but Karen stood up and marched over to the window. She didn’t pull the curtains wide, but she didn’t have to. The moment she pulled them even partially open, the sight made her scream and jump backwards.
There was someone just outside of the window dressed in a black hoodie with a Halloween mask on their face. You recognized the mask from some horror film or other that had come out years and years ago, but that didn’t really click. Instead you found yourself staring at the mask, mouth open as if to scream, but nothing coming out.
Things happened very quickly after that. Karen had turned to Frank who was already out of the house in the blink of an eye. You were up and launching yourself to the kitchen, hands fumbling as you pulled open drawer after drawer before you found the knives. You grabbed the largest one and swung around, but then you jumped back as you saw the person with the mask was in the living room.
Except the mask was in his hand and you recognized him. It was Frank’s friend Billy. Frank’s friend Billy who was being yelled at by Karen as she yanked the mask out of his hand.
Your body was still in fight or flight, the knife held aloft as if to ward off anyone from coming closer. When someone did move closer to you, you recognized that it was Frank but still couldn’t lower your arm. You heard your name being called, heard Karen say your name as well, but you still couldn’t move. 
You were safe as long as you stayed right where you were. Your back was to a solid wall, the knife was in front of you. You would be safe, you would be…
“It’s alright, you’re alright,” a voice softly called to you from your left. You turned your head and saw Karen, a few feet away with her hands up, her face paler than you’d ever seen it. “It was just a mistake, a stupid prank. Everything is okay.”
Your eyes looked past Karen and Frank to where Billy stood, his eyes wide as he stared back at you. He raised his hands slowly and showed his palms. Then he spoke, or maybe just mouthed the words.
You are safe.
Safe. You shut your eyes for a moment and then when you opened them back up, the haze you had gone under when everything had happened was lifted. You dropped the knife and shrank back into the wall so that you wouldn’t crumple. 
“Oh god,” you whimpered as you looked over at Karen, “I’m sorry. I didn’t hurt anyone, did I?”
“No, of course not,” Frank answered as he grabbed the knife and put it on the counter. 
Karen swooshed in and wrapped you in a hug. You held on as tight as you could and buried your face in her shoulder. You weren’t crying, no tears and no body wracking sobs. Just shook as adrenaline fled your body.
“I am so sorry,” a new voice said a few feet away. When you glanced up, you met Billy’s dark eyes as he stared at you and Karen. “I didn’t…I didn’t know. I thought it would be a funny prank, I didn’t know.”
Didn’t know what? You remembered seeing Karen yell at him as she pulled the mask from his hand and you assumed that maybe she had said something. Something to let him know that he just traumatized you a bit.
You sniffled and pulled away from Karen. Then you stepped a little closer to Billy.
“We haven’t been formally introduced. Hi, I’m…a survivor of a masked serial killer.”
Billy let out a shocked laugh and held his hand out to you.
“Nice to meet you.”
Karen and Frank had gone to bed around midnight and although you should have done the same, you found yourself still sitting in the living room with Billy at almost two in the morning. Once everything had settled down and Billy had apologized again for scaring you, you all had gone into the living room to talk and try to recoup from the events that had happened. 
Once the couple had gone to bed, the comfortable silence had made you say something you hadn’t expected.
“It was my senior year. In total, nine people were killed. Including my mom and my brother. I think I was going to be number ten if my dad hadn’t arrived.”
With that, you spilled the whole story in a way you’d only done with Karen and with a few therapists. You told Billy everything that had happened and how it made you feel. 
“I don’t leave my apartment much,” you admitted as you stared down at where your fingers were picking at the thread on the blanket over your lap. “Karen has helped a lot with that, and Frank too now. They help me get out and feel…safe. Halloween is a hard time because of the masks. It’s like I go right back to the den that night, feel like I’m going to die.”
“I’m really sorry about everything. I had no idea.”
“I know,” you whispered softly as you looked over to where Billy was watching you. “To be honest, that’s the scariest thing that’s happened to me since…since the attack. As messed up as it is, I think…I think it helped me.”
Billy tilted his head to show that he was listening, but he didn’t say anything. As if he knew him speaking would make you not say what was on your mind.
“I’ve been in a holding pattern since it all happened. I moved to the city for college and then I got an apartment and a job and somewhat of a life, but there’s a part of me that never left my hometown. A part of me that is still running around that room, thinking I was going to die. Tonight, when I was scared for my life again, I didn’t run. Or well, I did, but I was going to fight. I was going to…I wasn’t going to be caught unprepared again. I was going to fight.”
You bit your bottom lip as you looked down at your hands. Then slowly you grabbed your shirt and pulled up the hem to show your scar. It was the first time you’d voluntarily shown anyone besides doctors or Karen.
“This is just one of them, but...I was always ashamed. That I came out of that terrible night with just some scars. It never felt right that I was alive with just scars, when everyone else was gone.”
Billy’s eyes had moved down to the scar along your stomach, but the way they lingered didn’t make you feel hideous or like he thought you were a freak. In fact, the way his eyes moved along the skin made butterflies appear in your stomach.
“Survivor’s guilt is a difficult thing,” he said as he finally raised his eyes to meet yours. “You have that fear, but you also feel guilty. Like you shouldn’t get to be carefree because you don’t think you should have survived.”
You lowered your shirt and thought about that, let it sit for a while. Then you closed your eyes and laughed.
“Six therapists. I’ve seen six therapists and no one has put it so perfectly.”
Billy leaned his head back against the couch for a moment and then looked over at you.
“Every tour that Frankie and I do, I always tell myself that I probably won’t make it back. I make smart decisions and I do what I can to survive, but I accepted a long time ago that no one would notice if I was gone.”
“Frank would,” you said softly, your eyes darting over to the hallway where Karen and Frank’s room was. “He said that you’re like a brother to him.”
When you looked back at Billy, he was staring at you with an emotion you couldn’t name.
“The guy. What happened to him?”
The jump from topics made you confused for a moment before you shook your head to clear it a bit.
“He was sentenced to death and a few years ago, he was executed.”
Billy nodded as he stood up, stretching a bit until his back popped.
“Good. That’s…good.”
He moved into the kitchen and you didn’t follow or try to speak to him while he was in there. You had a feeling that Billy was going through his own journey with the things that weighed on him, but you weren’t going to push.
When he came back into the living room, he gestured to the hall.
“Should probably head to bed. It’s late.”
You nodded and stood up. To extend the time with Billy, you grabbed the trash from the coffee table and moved into the kitchen to throw it away. When you opened the trash can, you stared down at the mask that had started it all.
“Here,” Billy said as he took the trash from you and pushed it into the can, burying the mask completely. “Like it never happened.”
You glanced up at Billy’s face and then nodded, even though you knew that wasn’t what you felt like at all. Just like you had said to Billy, you felt like the whole ordeal pushed you into the healing part of your journey. Now you honestly felt like you could breathe again.
It had been a long time coming, but you were starting to feel whole once more.
“I have a box of picture frames. Where do you want it?”
Karen looked over at you and then glanced at the messy living room. 
“Put them on the coffee table for now? Honestly I have no idea what I want to do with this place.”
You laughed when you placed the heavy box on the coffee table. Honestly you didn’t blame Karen for being a bit overwhelmed. Frank and Billy and Curtis had moved the furniture into the house over the weekend so you and Karen took it on yourself to unpack as much as you could.
Karen and Frank’s new house was very nice and as everything was unloaded, it slowly became more and more like a home. You were happy for the two of them, even if you were a little envious.
Since that Halloween cabin trip, you had made a lot of strides with getting over your past. Even so, you were just starting to get your life back together.
Including going on a few dates over the last few weeks. Still nothing serious, but casual dating isn’t bad every now and then. 
As you unpacked books for the bookshelf, you let your mind wander to Billy. Since that trip, all of you had gotten together a few times for other trips or just for a meal and a laugh. When Frank and Billy were deployed again, you and Karen sent care packages and kept in touch with them. It felt natural. 
Karen got your attention as she came through with a box.
“I’m taking these clothes upstairs. Wanna stop for lunch soon?”
You agreed as you broke down the box you had been pulling stuff out of for the bookshelf. As you opened the next box, your phone started to ring in your pocket. When you looked at the screen, you saw Billy’s contact on there and answered immediately.
“Hey Billy,” you greeted as you started to pull the books out for the bookshelf.
When his voice came through, it was obvious he was calling from his car.
“Hey, uh, you and Karen unpacking?”
“Yeah, about to stop for lunch though. What’s up?”
He didn’t say anything at first which made you stop unloading the box. You stood up and turned as if you expected to see him behind you, even though you could still hear the car in the background.
“Have you seen the news? From your old town.”
Your chest felt like it became a bit too tight at those words. The last time you’d heard a version of that, it was your dad calling to tell you about the execution.
“No.”
He sighed a bit which made you tense to the point where you had to turn to sit down on the chair nearest you.
“There was an attack in your town two nights ago. From what I know, it was…your childhood home.”
There was a moment where you were really glad you sat down because otherwise you think your legs would have given out. As your mind swirled, you tried to think of what to ask first.
You knew that Billy had looked into your story after you told him about it. Hearing your version of events made him want to see it from start to finish so he’d looked it up. There was still a lot of information on it, including the lack of any real motive.
“An attack?”
“The police were called to the house when they heard screams. The mom and a son were on an overnight field trip so it was just the dad and daughter in the house. By the time they got there, the dad and daughter had both been brutally murdered.”
You closed your eyes and remembered what it felt like to have someone break into your house with the intention of killing you.
“They were found in the finished basement on the floor.”
Suddenly it felt like you couldn’t catch your breath. Your mouth went dry as you thought about stepping into the basement den and finding your mom and brother. The healed scars felt like they were bleeding and even though it was impossible, you still reached into your shirt to see if there was any blood from the scar.
Nothing.
“Did they find who did it?”
“They were gone, but there was a note stabbed to the door. It just had a date on it.”
“What date?”
When Billy said the date that was on the note, you half expected it to be the date you had been attacked, but it wasn’t. It was only from a few years ago, so you didn’t think it had anything to do with what had happened, just a coincidence.
Until…
“Wasn’t that the date he was executed?”
You closed your eyes as you realized that Billy was right. It had been a while since you’d thought about the date, but thinking about it you were pretty sure that Billy was right.
“His uh, his last words were that he’d be back.”
“That’s impossible. He’s dead, there’s no way he can be back.”
You almost laughed because yes, you knew that. You knew that it was impossible, but that’s what he said either way. Instead you felt tears start to gather in your eyes as you settled more into the chair.
“I’d come by but I’m out of town. Maybe stay with Karen and Frankie tonight, okay? Just…I don’t think you’re in danger, but I still don’t think you should be alone.”
You nodded and wiped at your eyes.
“Thanks Billy. I’ll talk to Karen when she comes downstairs. I’ll uh, I’ll talk to you later? Drive safely.”
“It’s all going to be okay. I promise.”
You hoped he was right but you didn’t know. Nothing felt right at the moment.
All you knew was as the call with Billy ended, you needed to call your dad to let him know about it. Once upon a time you thought that things were over, but not anymore. Now you were thinking things were just about to begin.
It was dark out as you made your way through the parking lot to where your car was parked. In the background you could hear your coworkers laughing as they headed to their own cars. A shouted invitation to join them at the bar came over, but you waved them off and promised next time.
Which you’d actually follow through with. It wasn’t like it had been before, where you kept to yourself at all times. You’d branched out, made friends, started working from the office just as much as you worked from home. You still kept certain things to yourself of course, a habit you were unable to break anytime soon, but you opened yourself up to people.
The car chirped as you unlocked it and slid into the front seat, immediately locking the doors again. As you started the car, you noticed something on your windshield. A folded piece of paper tucked under your windshield wiper. 
Carefully you leaned forward and leaned out of the window to pull the paper out of the wiper. It came free after a tug. Once settled back in the seat, you rolled the window back up and looked at the paper. You unfolded it and stared at it.
Did you miss me?
Your hands shook as you dropped the paper into your passenger seat. Then, without hesitation, you started towards the entrance to the parking lot. Your headlights went across someone in the distance but you didn’t even focus on them, just stepped on the gas to get out of the parking lot.
The person didn’t move at least, seen from the corner of your eye as you sped out. It was possible it wasn’t anyone to worry about, someone from the office or just someone passing by. 
As you headed to the freeway, you connected your bluetooth and dialed Karen’s number. It went to voicemail and you swore as you hung up. You were about to call her again when you hesitated. 
For some reason, you wanted to call Billy. So that’s what you did.
He answered after a few rings.
“Hey, what’s up? Leaving work?”
Your hands shook a bit as you navigated through the traffic on the street.
“I came out of work and there was a note on my windshield.”
“Okay. Did you…”
“I grabbed it,” you admitted as you drove around a slow driver in the fast lane. “I realize now that I shouldn’t have, that it could have been…but I grabbed it.”
“It sounds like you’re driving so at least nothing happened. What did it say?”
You glanced down at the paper in your passenger seat and then immediately back up to the road. 
“Did you miss me?”
“Fuck,” Billy breathed out, the connection distorting a bit from the force. “This isn’t good. I thought that whoever it was wouldn’t come all this way, but it sounds like maybe he did. Maybe you’re a target.”
Your chest felt tight as you pulled onto the street where you lived.
“I need to call to check on my dad. I’m almost home so I’ll call him when I get inside.”
“You don’t need to go to your place, not alone. Do you think Karen is home yet?”
“I tried to call Karen first,” you said as you drove past your house, your eyes on your rearview mirror just to check. “She didn’t answer so I called you.”
“That’s okay, never hesitate to call me if you need me. But for now, come to Anvil. Frank is there, I’ll let him know what’s going on. We’re gonna make sure you’re never alone until this guy is caught, okay?”
You nodded even though he couldn’t see you. You knew the way to Anvil easily enough, but that didn’t stop your heart from thudding in your chest. Whether this guy was connected to the man who had done the original attacks or it was a copycat, it didn’t matter. Right now all that mattered was that you could be in danger.
“I need to call my dad,” you said again.
“I know, but stay on the phone with me for right now, okay? I don’t want something to happen to you while you’re out.”
You wished that you could close your eyes or burrow into yourself, but you had to focus on the road. Instead you lowered your voice a bit.
“I’m scared Billy.”
His sigh came through the phone so clear that it felt like he was in the car with you.
“I know. It’s going to be okay, I promise.”
He couldn’t promise that, not really, but you didn’t say that. Instead you simply listened to the ambient noise of the connection all the way to Anvil. 
Your dad’s cell phone rang to the voicemail twice, but you didn’t stop. As you clicked it again, you looked over to where Frank and Billy were talking. Billy had gotten to Anvil a little bit before you did and had filled Frank in by time you got there. The two of them were discussing a plan, although you weren’t sure what for just yet.
All you cared about was getting in touch with your dad. He didn’t normally miss a call, not like this.
On the third time you called, the line was finally answered but it wasn’t your dad’s voice that greeted you.
“Hello?”
“Uh, hello...you have my dad’s phone. Who is this?”
The men turned to you when they heard what you had asked, both with concern on their faces.
“Hello miss. My name is Dr Roberts. Your father was brought in earlier this evening. He had been in a car accident.”
As he explained what had happened, you felt yourself sway. If you hadn’t already been sitting, you would have fallen over. Instead, as you were obviously struggling to focus on the words the doctor was saying, Frank came over and took the phone from you. He didn’t go far as he spoke, asking the questions you should have been asking.
“Hey. I’m right here.”
You blinked a few times and looked over to where Billy had knelt down in front of you, his hand in yours. You didn’t even notice him coming to your side or touching you. With a shake of your head, you looked over to where Frank was giving you a comforting head nod as he asked about hospital security.
“Oh god,” you breathed as you finally let yourself shake a bit. “My dad, he was in a car accident.”
“I know, but he’s okay. He’s in recovery and he’s going to be okay.”
Your eyes slammed shut as you tried to remember what the doctor had said before Frank had taken over.
“Earlier this evening. He had been in a car accident earlier this evening.”
Billy stared up at you. Then, with a glance over to Frank, he moved to sit next to you on the couch.
“He lives about thirty minutes away, right? Be enough time for the copycat to leave the note on your car and then go after your dad.”
Your hand contracted around Billy’s as you looked at the note that was on the table where you’d left it.
“There was someone in the parking lot when I got in the car. I didn’t see them very well, too far away and too desperate to leave. What if that was him? It’s not like he can be in two places at once.”
Saying that made your heart stutter in your chest as you remembered something. Something from so long ago that it had been buried.
“What is it?”
You looked over at Billy and then back to the note.
“The murders. The original murders. The only other night where two people died on the same night besides…” You let your words trail off, unable to mention your mom and brother right then. “It was never investigated and as much as I can remember, it was never talked about in the trial, but there had been speculation back then. The first murder that night was on the mainland and the second murder was on a little island. The newspapers said it should have been impossible for one person to cross that distance on the ferry in the time between murders, so they were looking for a boat that might have been used. But what if there wasn’t a boat? What if there were two murderers this whole time?”
Billy looked at the note and then over to Frank who was nodding as if he had heard. You caught a quick snippet of him telling the doctor that one of Anvil’s men would be there as soon as possible to provide extra security.
“If there were two murderers back then, then it isn’t a copycat. It’s a continuation.”
Your hands went around your stomach as if to hold you together, fingers seeking out those rigid scars under your top.
“Why me? Why my family? We never did anything to anyone.”
“It can be a fixation of finishing what was started. It can be the chase because you got away. Revenge because you got his partner killed. There’s a lot of reasons someone might keep going after you.”
You wanted to laugh, but the logic was important. You needed the reality of this before you lost yourself.
“I don’t know what to do,” you whispered as you stared down at your hands with tears in your eyes. “I want to see my dad.”
“We’ll take you,” Frank said as he passed you the phone, the screen showing the call had ended. “I’m going to pick up Karen and tell her what’s going on. Then we’ll take you to your dad.”
“Maybe we should wait,” Billy said as he stood up to face Frank. “Get Karen, get someone from Anvil to sit on her dad, but if we drag her out of the city, we can’t be sure that he won’t follow us and more people will get hurt. Here, we’re on our turf.”
As the men discussed the pros and cons of both plans, you let your hand go back to the scar. The fear that had gone through you that night in the basement den of your childhood home had started to come back, but as it rose, so did something else. A strength you never knew you had.
The strength to survive.
“I’m staying,” you said finally, cutting off their conversation. “If he wants to finish what he started, he can start with me. I’m not running again.”
Both men looked at you and you saw the pride in their eyes. Frank pulled out his phone.
“I’m going to get Karen. We’ll stick together. You and Bill should stick together too. We’ll come up with a plan to draw him out and we’ll end this.”
Your eyes went to Billy’s and found those dark eyes were already on yours.
“I’ll take you to my place. We’ll be safe there.”
This was it. The final standoff.
For years you’d thought you were safe, that the danger had been left behind you. Now, whatever happened, you knew it would really be over.
“Here, this will be more comfortable,” Billy explained as he handed you some of his clothes.
You hadn’t gone back to your place, unwilling to take the chance. Instead Billy had brought you straight to his over the top apartment and told you to make yourself at home.
You went into the bathroom to change, placing your clothes on the side of the sink where you could change back into them in the morning. As you stared at yourself in the mirror in Billy’s clothes, you felt your throat catch a bit.
Inch by inch you raised the shirt and looked at the scar on your stomach. Then, even though you had just put the shirt on, you pulled it off and held it to your chest as you turned. With your back facing the mirror, you looked over your shoulder and looked at the scars there.
You had felt the knife tear through your skin. The stitches hadn’t been nearly enough to keep the scars from being ugly, but you didn’t care anymore. Once upon a time they made you ashamed, but why should they? They meant you were a survivor.
A survivor.
“Hey, are you…”
Billy had knocked on the door and it came open fully since you hadn’t shut it all the way in your daze. He looked at your back in the mirror for a long moment before he met your eyes.
“Are you hungry? I was going to make dinner.”
You swallowed thickly as you looked down from his gaze in the mirror to the scars.
“They don’t bother you.”
It wasn’t asked, it was stated. When his gaze flickered away from the mirror, you turned to face him in the doorway. His eyes went down the scars on your stomach. The ones you had showed him that first night in the cabin after he had scared you. He walked towards you and reached out, slowly as if to let you move away if you wanted to.
You didn’t want to.
When those fingers touched your scar, you shivered but didn’t pull away. His eyes moved from the scar and landed on your face.
“We all have scars,” he said softly as his eyes dropped to your mouth. “Shows that you’re a survivor.”
A survivor. He had echoed the words you had thought right before he’d walked in.
“Billy,” you began but he shook his head.
“Later,” he promised as he leaned in and captured your lips with his.
Since you were going to ask if you could kiss him, you found yourself happy with this change of pace. The shirt was dropped to the floor. Chest bared, you leaned in and wrapped your arms around his neck to hold him closer. Even as his hand skimmed up your back and slowly touched the scars there, you didn’t pull away.
You were done pulling away.
Billy led you to the bedroom. As you pulled your pants and underwear off, Billy beat the record to pull his clothes off as well. His shirt was already on the floor and while he worked on his pants, you caught the scars on his shoulder and side. 
Your fingers went to the ones on his shoulder first, tracing over them. Then you touched the one low on his side.
“What are these from?”
Billy placed his hand over yours as you touched the one on his side.
“I’ll tell you all about them. After,” he added as he leaned in to kiss you again. 
You smiled against his lips, unable to help yourself. It wasn’t like you’d never thought about kissing Billy. In fact you’d thought about it a lot, even that first night when he’d scared you nearly to death. There had always been some sort of attraction between the two of you, something you never dwelled on because you hadn’t been interested in making things awkward between the two of you.
Although now you didn’t think that it would be very awkward. Something told you that Billy was just as interested as you were. 
Instead of focusing on the scars on either of you, you decided to focus on Billy and the way he was making you feel. 
There’d be time to talk later.
Billy wasn’t in the apartment when you woke up, but a note on the table said that he had to run to Anvil and would pick up breakfast on his way back. You had smiled at the note and folded it to put into your pocket. You were stupidly enamored by that man.
As you went over to the coffee pot that looked like it belonged in a spaceship, you heard your phone ring from your purse on the coffee table. With the reminder that your dad was in the hospital, you rushed over and grabbed it.
It was him. You immediately answered.
“Dad? Are you okay?”
“Hey kiddo,” your dad answered, his voice drowsy and laced with pain. “Finally awake enough to call. Wanted to hear your voice. The goon at the door said you’d called and talked to the doctor.”
“Dad.” Your voice broke as you slumped onto the couch. “Dad, you…do you remember what happened? Who did it?”
There was silence for a long moment before your dad sighed, the noise a bit strangled as he wheezed.
“I only saw him for a split second, but I’d recognize it anywhere. I thought I was seeing things.” You listened as he shifted, the bed crinkling him under him loud enough for you to hear over the phone. “He came by when I was in the car. I think he thought I was dead or maybe unconscious, but I heard his voice. I heard him tell me it was about time.”
You closed your eyes and wrapped your arms around you as tight as you could. 
“I had a letter on my windshield last night. It asked me if I missed him. I don’t think it’s a copycat dad. I think that he was involved in the original murders.”
The slow beeps from the phone was the only way you knew the call hadn’t failed. Then your dad finally spoke.
“I think you’re right. I don’t know why, but I agree.”
At least you were all on the same page with that.
Your phone buzzed with an incoming call and you checked it to see that it was Billy. After you told your dad you’d call him back in a bit, you switched over to talk to him.
“Hey, is everything okay at Anvil?”
“You’re still at the apartment, right? You didn’t leave.”
You looked around for some reason and then sat up a bit straighter.
“Yeah, I’m still here. What happened?”
There was a lot going on in the background in the call and you strained your ears enough to pick up a few words. By things you could hear, Billy was near a bunch of cops.
“There was another murder. Your next door neighbor, Melinda Geillis.”
You knew Melinda well enough, the two of you often talked in the elevators or hallway. You closed your eyes tightly and shook your head.
“Are we sure it was him?”
Billy said something quietly to someone nearby and then it was quiet on the other side of the phone.
“Her throat was slit and then she was dragged into your apartment and propped up on your couch like she was watching television.”
The memory of your brother’s body flashed before your eyes. Yeah, that was him. 
“There’s a note here too. It says ‘sorry I missed you’.”
You flinched at that. Then your hand went to your pocket where Billy’s note was. The feel of the paper comforted you a bit.
“Dad said he saw him, recognized the outfit from the night of the attack. He also said he heard his voice. The guy came by after the accident and was taunting my dad, either because he thought he was dead or thought he wouldn’t hear. He said it was about time.”
Billy swore through his teeth. You could almost picture his face as he absorbed that information.
“We’re gonna catch this guy, okay? Nothing is going to happen to you or to your dad. Not again.”
You let out a breath and then slumped against the couch a bit.
“How’d you find out anyway? I mean, if it was in my apartment, you’d think I would have heard about it first.”
“I was driving by and saw the police presence,” Billy explained softly as someone came through the room he was in, talking about taking pictures. “I asked what happened and they let me know. I’ve worked with enough local law enforcement so they let me up. The detective in charge is going to call you, but…I wanted to be the one to tell you.”
You laughed a bit as you reached up to rub at your eyes.
“Thank you Billy. Really.”
“I’ll come pick you up and bring you to the station so we can coordinate with the locals. Just stay inside and keep the door locked, okay? There’s a spare gun in the safe; the combination is 7895.”
You looked over at the safe, but didn’t make moves to go get it. You weren’t big on guns.
“I’ll see you shortly Billy. Thanks again.”
When the call was over, you leaned back and wrapped your arms around your legs. It had been such a long morning already and you’d only been awake for an hour. 
At some point this would be over, wouldn’t it? One way or another.
The police station wasn’t a place you’d spent a lot of time since you’d come to the city. Once upon a time, in the little seaside town you’d grown up in, you’d been in the police station a lot. Not for any nefarious reasons of course, simply because your dad had worked for the force. You’d gotten comfortable in police stations.
Now though? You had to admit that you were very uneasy. It wasn’t the people themselves of course, they were just your run of the mill law enforcement officers. No, you were uneasy because of the reason you were there.
Billy had suggested that you not see the pictures from the crime scene, but you reminded him that you had lived through it once. 
It was like seeing a ghost. Your neighbor’s body was propped up in a mirror of your brother’s, down to the television being on in front of her and playing the news. You tried not to stare into her lifeless eyes, but in the close up picture your only other option was to look at the gash across her neck.
There had been a struggle. She had fought hard.
After some questions and rehashing the details with the police, you were led to the front lobby to leave, but Billy doubled back to coordinate coverage at your dad’s hospital room. While he did that, you called your dad to let him know what was going on.
“You gotta leave the city,” your dad said sternly. “I don’t want to lose you. You need to leave, you need to get somewhere this maniac will never find you.”
“Dad, I can’t leave. Look what happened when I stayed somewhere else for one night? Who knows what will happen if–”
“Hey, they said we can head out whenever,” Billy called as he approached. He nodded to where your phone was against your ear, “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’s just my dad. Hey dad, I’ve got to–”
Your name from your dad made you pause what you were saying, only slightly annoyed by being interrupted again. Something in your dad’s voice made you stop speaking, stop breathing. There was terror in his voice.
“Who is that? With you right now. Who is with you?”
You looked over at Billy who was frowning in concern.
“It’s my friend Billy, the one I’ve told you about? He’s the one that brought me to the police station after what happened at my apartment.”
There was a long pause that made you a little antsy.
“You need to get away from him right now. You need to get out of there. Immediately.”
“Dad–”
“Stop. Don’t let him know, but leave. Go back into the station, stay with them. Get away from him. That’s the voice I heard after my accident.”
You swallowed thickly as you heard those words, your eyes going from Billy to the door he had just come through. You could see police officers moving around through the glass door. From the peripheral you could see Billy watching you, barely making out the concern still on his face as you stood a little straighter.
“Are you sure?”
“I can’t be one hundred percent sure, not over a phone, but it sounds just like him. Please, get away from him.”
With your eyes closed, you listened to your dad plead with you while you remembered the way that Billy had touched you the night before. Was it possible? Was it possible that Billy was this person that was tormenting you? Killing people?
The things you knew about Billy told you that anything was possible. 
You nodded and then made a noise like you were listening to your dad as you reached and patted yourself, as if looking for something.
“Billy, can you check and see if I left my wallet in the interview room,” you said with a glance over at him. “I don’t want to see the pictures again but I think I left my wallet in there.”
“Sure,” he said with a nod and a brief touch to your arm.
When he disappeared behind the door to head back to the interview room, you grabbed your wallet out of your pocket and nearly ran from the police station. On the road you found a cab that was thankfully letting someone out of the door at the same time that you’d gotten there, so you simply slid right in. Then you thought about where to go.
After you gave the address to the hospital your dad was at, you glanced over your shoulder to the door of the police station. Right as the cab started to pull away from the curb, you saw Billy step out and look around. You didn’t know if he saw you or not, but you settled back into your seat and let out a sigh.
“I’m headed to you dad,” you said softly. “I don’t know if you’re right, I don’t see how Billy could…but I’m on my way.”
You had no idea how to explain what your dad may or may not have heard. You couldn’t imagine that Billy was the one that had done those things. How would he have even been involved?
But you remembered that every time something had happened, Billy had been gone. He’d been on the road after the attacks back home, he’d been out when the note had been left on your car and your dad had been hit, he’d been out when your neighbor was attacked.
Was it possible that billy wasn’t who you thought he was? Was it possible that you’d slept with someone you shouldn’t have trusted?
The mere thought made your stomach turn.
The officer at the door was a bit confused when you told him not to let an Anvil employee watch the door alone, but he reluctantly agreed without you explaining why. He was agreeable otherwise.
Your dad looked rough, but he smiled tightly when you came into the room. His eyes cut to the door and then back to you as you shut it behind you.
“His men were out there, weren’t they? Are they still?”
“Not right now,” you said as you went over to his side to grab his hand. “I still don’t know for sure, but if that’s what you heard, then I have to trust you.”
Your dad winced as he leaned closer to you, his hand tight on yours. 
“We can’t stay here. From what I’ve been able to tell, he has a lot of pull with the locals.”
“Dad, you can’t go anywhere. Look at you, you’re barely able to sit up right now. I can’t lug you around, I’m not strong enough for that.”
Your dad closed his eyes and nodded slowly. 
“So you need to go somewhere else. Somewhere without telling anyone. Once you’re gone, I’ll talk to a detective about my theory and we’ll have him looked into.”
You shook your head as he spoke.
“No, I can’t leave without you,” you cried as you hugged him, gently to keep from hurting him. “If something happened to you while I was gone, it would kill me. I can’t lose you.”
“I’ll be safe here until I’m able to get out myself. I’ll call a friend to come sit with me for a while. You’re my only concern, you’re my priority.”
You wiped your tears off your cheeks as you pulled back a bit. With a sniffle you glanced over at the door to see the back of the cop’s head as he pulled his phone to his ear. As he nodded and looked over his shoulder at you, you felt something cold wash over you.
“I have to go now. I think Billy’s trying to find out if I’m here.”
“Then go sweetheart. Do you remember the plan for Tallahassee?”
The codeword made you shake a bit. It was picked after your mom and brother had been killed as it’s where your mom had originally been from. If something ever happened and you and your dad had to run off, you’d go to a location that was a secret between the two of you. Far away from Tallahassee, but it was a word that could be used even in front of others without being discovered.
You really hoped you never had to use it.
“One week and then I’ll head to Tallahassee,” you said as you stood up and wiped tears from your eyes again. “Then when you’re better, you can join me.”
“One week for us both, whether or not I’m feeling better.” 
The old man was stubborn. You laughed a bit as you leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. Then the forehead.
“I love you dad,” you said as you placed another kiss on his forehead.
“I love you too kiddo,” he repeated as he squeezed your hand. “Go. Get out of here and be safe.”
That’s all that there was to it. And now you needed to figure out where to go to wait out the week.
You’d need to stop at some ATMs to get money out so that you wouldn’t leave a trail. Something told you that Billy would use whatever resources he had to find you and you weren’t going to give him that chance.
The man at the front desk of the motel didn’t even look at your ID or anything else as you pushed the cash over for the week. He simply counted the bills and then handed you the key.
“Ice machine doesn’t work, vending machines are on the first floor, pool is closed for now.”
You tucked the rest of your money into your waller and palmed the key, mumbling a thanks to him as you turned and walked out of the office. Your room was on the second floor so you made it up the stairs with the crinkle of the grocery bags you carried your freshly bought clothes in. At room 17, you put the key into the lock and turned it. It stuck a bit but came open after that.
“Home sweet home,” you muttered as you dropped the grocery bags onto the bed. 
You’d bought some clothes and some other necessities on your way out of the city. Here you were, about six hours from the city, settling into a motel that didn’t even have a sign to tell you the name.
At some point you’d need to go to the vending machines and get a few snacks. Maybe try to find a local grocery store where you could get some nonperishable items. There was a microwave in the room and a mini-fridge. More like a mini-mini-fridge, but whatever.
You felt naked without your cell phone, but you definitely knew that you could be tracked with that, so you’d left it at the hospital. 
With a sigh you sat on the bed and grimaced a bit at the hardness of the mattress. Not exactly comfortable, but you’d make do. If it meant not losing your life, you’d lose some comfort. The remote was next to the bed so you grabbed it and turned the television on, turning the volume down a good deal just in case. You never trusted these places. 
One channel surf later you landed on the news. It touched on a bunch of national stuff before it narrowed in to local and you waited to see if anything would come up about the killer. It never came.
After the news cycled over to some infomercials, you grabbed some money and left your room, locking it behind you. You checked your surroundings carefully before you headed down the stairs to the vending machine.
There were only about five cars in the parking lot besides yours. You looked over each and tried to commit them to memory before you stepped into the alcove where the vending machines were. You grabbed a bottle of water and an energy drink from one and then some chips and some chocolate from the other. Hands full, you stepped out of the alcove and looked around on your way to the stairs.
Six cars.
You stopped where you were and stared at the new car, a nondescript dark colored sedan. Between the distance and the darkness, you couldn’t tell if there was anyone in the car. They were parked in front of the office though, so it was possible that it was another person here just to get a room. It wasn’t far off the beaten track from the interstate so maybe they found it the same way you did.
With a deep inhale, you held your breath and ran up the stairs. You had to juggle the items in your hands to get your key back out and back into the room. It didn’t stick this time so you were able to get in and shut it behind you in mere seconds, locking it and the chain behind you.
Then you pulled the chair from the corner and pushed it in front of the door.
Once that was done you put your items down on the dresser and moved further into the room. The bathroom was open so you could see into it clearly, but you turned on the light and looked around just in case. Even checked behind the shower curtain. Then you checked the half closet which wasn’t really big enough to hold a grown man.
You looked under the bed but there was a trundle bed so not enough room for someone to fit.
Satisfied that the room was empty besides yourself, you went over to the window and peered out. The angle you had didn’t allow you to see much, but you could see your car at least. 
Tomorrow you’d head out to a nearby grocery or convenience store to get what you needed for the rest of the week. Once you were through the week and could head to the meeting place with your dad, things would be fine. You’d be safe again.
You still couldn’t believe that Billy was the one doing this to you. Part of you refused to believe it, the part that had had sex with him and laid in his arms the whole night. The rest of you had more questions than you had answers and when faced with the unknown, you had to rely on what you could put together. Your dad had said he couldn’t be certain but felt it was a close enough similarity to demand you leave and save yourself.
That night when you curled up on the hard as hell mattress, the thin blanket pulled over your body and the television providing light into the room, you weren’t sure you’d ever fall asleep. Not with how your brain was on turbo mode.
But you were able to finally fall asleep somewhere after two in the morning.
The third night at the motel had been as uneventful as the other two. You had gotten some food at a nearby convenience store so you didn’t have to rely on vending machine snacks. You also got a deck of cards so you could play solitaire with yourself to waste time.
The news still didn’t say anything about what was happening, but you had to imagine there were constant murders in the city so maybe it didn’t make the radar yet. You didn’t know how many more deaths it would take for it to hit the news cycle but you hoped it didn’t get to that.
As you crossed the room to do your hourly check of the window, you wondered what everyone else was doing. Your dad, Karen, Frank…even Billy.
Since you’d been in the motel, you’d spent a lot of time thinking about Billy. Thinking about him being the killer, thinking about it all being a miscommunication. The more you thought about him, the less you felt certain one way or another.
As you stared out the window, you checked the parts of the parking lot that you could see and then looked over to where your car was parked. As you looked at it, you noticed someone walking past your car and towards the office. It was dark so you couldn’t make out who the person was, but you traced their steps back to see if there was another car nearby that they had come out of.
There was a truck not far from your car that was in line with the path they were taking, but it had been there since yesterday. 
You looked at the chair in front of your door and made sure it was still pressed against the door. This way at least you knew you would have a warning if someone tried to get into the room while you were there.
Back on the bed you grabbed the cards and shuffled them a bit. It was time for more solitaire. You really wished you’d grabbed something else, anything else at this point. It was hard to go without a phone to spend your time, but you were making do. 
A noise outside made you look over to the window with the blinds down. A streetlight let a little light in and you stared at it for a long time until you watched a little darkness move over the window. Someone was walking past your window towards your door.
You held your breath and waited. When you heard the door beside yours open, you let it out with a sigh. It was another person staying in the hotel.
Without winning the current game of solitaire, you turned off the light and stacked the cards on the bedside table. You had a flashlight that you’d gotten at the convenience store that you kept nearby as you curled up on the bed, your eyes on the window and door. When no sounds came to you, no change in the minimal light that trickled through, you felt yourself drift off to sleep.
A dream came to you then, while you dozed in and out. A darkness seemed to pour into the room from the ceiling, like a shadow but more solid. The darkness seemed to melt and shift along the lines of the ceiling, never fully there as you stared up at it.When you woke up, it was with your back to the window and door, a blank wall in front of you. The first thing you did was look up to the ceiling but there were no shadows moving around.
You rolled over to your other side and immediately checked the window, but nothing had changed. It was still dark out there, still a slight amount of light pouring through the window. You blinked lazily and rubbed your eyes before you looked at the door to check that the chair was still there.
It wasn’t. It was in the corner now and someone was in it.
You sat up and opened your mouth to scream, but it didn’t come out as the occupant leaned forward and was lit up by the incoming light stream.
Billy.
“How’d you find me?”
There was a beat of silence as he nodded then sat back so that he disappeared a bit from your sight. 
“It wasn’t easy. You really tried to drop off the grid. It’s my job to be able to find people though.”
“Yeah,” you said uneasily as you shrank back in the bed a bit, your legs pulling to your chest and bracing just in case you needed to jump up. “How’d you get in here without making a noise? The chair…”
“Took some maneuvering. I figured you’d do something like that.”
You blinked and tried to nod a bit. Of course he’d know how to get through your defenses. You should have known.
“What are you going to do to me?”
It was quiet for a long moment before Billy leaned forward again to look at you. You wished you could see whatever emotions were in those dark eyes, but from this distance the dark brown was pitch black and it made you feel hunted.
“Why would I do anything to you? I just wanted to make sure you were safe.”
Safe. You’d heard the word a lot, but it had been a long time since you felt it. And right then, with Billy sitting in a chair across the room, you didn’t know if safe is what you felt at all.
What was the next step? Did you confront him for who you suspected he was? Did you wait for him to prove you right or wrong? 
“Why didn’t you let me protect you? I could have gotten you and your dad somewhere safe. Then maybe…”
You watched as he looked away from you, his eyebrows furrowed. 
“Maybe what?”
He looked over at you and shook his head.
“You left your phone at the hospital so you hadn’t heard. The killer broke into the hospital, somehow got through the security we had on your dad. He survived, got a few stab wounds, but the killer took down two of my men and a police officer.”
You felt sick. Your body bowed in and you pressed your face into your knees as you thought about it. At least your dad was alive, but being stabbed on top of already suffering from the car accident couldn’t be good. 
“He’s alive. He’ll stay alive,” Billy said as a hand came down to rest on your shoulder.
You jerked backwards as he touched you, body nearly falling off the bed as you tried to get away from the touch. When you looked up and met his concerned gaze, you couldn’t help the pitiful laugh that came from you.
“What will it take? What do I have to do?”
Your stomach rolled as you thought about what he might say.
“What are you talking about?”
At some point tears had started to flow down your cheeks as you stared up at Billy. His hand on your shoulder, the scent of the cologne that he always wore, it made you feel lost in memories you couldn’t afford to be lost in.
“He heard your voice. The day of his accident, he heard the killer and when he heard your voice at the police station, he said it was you.”
Billy’s hand fell to his side as he stared down at your crumpled form.
“My voice? So you…what, think I’m the other murderer? This whole time. Even from when you were in high school?”
You closed your eyes for a long moment and then shook your head.
“I don’t…I don’t know Billy. He said he heard you. And every time there was a murder, you weren’t with someone who could account for your whereabouts. What am I supposed to think?”
He crossed his arms and took a few steps back to lean against the wall across from you.
“I’ve killed before. More than a few times and not all of them deserved it. But I never killed anyone stateside that I didn’t have to.”
You wrapped your arms around yourself as you stared at Billy.
“He heard you Billy. He recognized your voice.”
“He had a concussion. Maybe he heard something, someone, but how could he be sure it was me? Especially since the second time was just over the phone.”
You wiped the tears out of your eyes as you stared up at him.
“I can’t take the chance Billy. I can’t take the chance that you’re someone who wants to hurt me.”
“I could never hurt you,” Billy swore as he walked closer to you. Then he shook his head as he turned away. “But you’re right. You can’t take the chance. If I’d known this was your worry, I never would have come here.”
He got to the door and right as you thought about telling him not to leave, to ask him to talk the rest of this through with you, he opened the door and things happened so quickly after that.
A masked man stood on the other side of the door. The moment it came open, he raised his knife and brought it down hard into Billy’s shoulder. You screamed and shoved yourself up and off the bed, body stuck between going to the door and further away. 
You grabbed Billy and pulled him back, body slamming against the door to try to close it. Billy threw his body weight into it too, wincing as the shoulder with the blood pouring through it slammed against the wood. The two of you got the door slammed shut but you still didn’t move.
“Believe me now?” Billy asked through gritted teeth as he moved around you to peer through the peephole. “He’s not there. He’ll come back though.”
You nodded as you tried to get your brain to get back on path. While Billy kept his body against the door, you grabbed a washcloth from the dresser and pressed it hard against his shoulder to stem the blood flow.
“What are we going to do?”
Billy accepted the cloth and held it against his shoulder. With his free hand he reached into his jacket and pulled out a knife which he pressed into your hands. As you were about to ask what he was going to use, he pulled a gun out of the waistband of his jeans and checked that it was ready..
“We need to make a run for the car. We can call the cops once we’re on the road.”
You nodded and grabbed your wallet from the dresser and shoved it into the pocket of your sweats. There was nothing else here that you needed to make sure you had. Prepared, you grabbed Billy’s uninjured shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
“I should go first.”
“I don’t care if I was missing an arm. You’re not going first,” Billy said through gritted teeth as he shoved the cloth under his jacket. Then he moved to tuck you behind him. “You stay at my back, okay? Keep the knife up and let me know if I need to turn and shoot. Are you ready?”
No. 
“Yeah,” you breathed as you stood at his side.
He went out first and looked both directions a few times before he motioned for you to follow him. He gestured to keep you close to him. You stepped out and didn’t bother shutting the door as the two of you headed to the stairs. As you made your way past the front office, you noticed blood sprayed on the wall behind where the man had sat at the computer.
“Oh god,” you whimpered as you kept as close to Billy as you could.
“Eyes forward baby, we can’t wait. We’re almost there.”
He was leading you to his car, not yours. You looked behind the two of you to see if someone was out there, aware of what was going on, but you saw nothing. Heard nothing but the pounding of your heart between your ears.
At the car, Billy unlocked it and tugged you to go to the passenger door. As you reached out, you saw something from the corner of your eye.
“BILLY!”
He spun you around and thrust himself between the two of you, his gun raised at the man that had been running at you. He stopped, his knife still raised. The eerie black mask tilted this way and that as he stared at the two of you.
“You can’t win. Gun beats knife.”
“I don’t have to win. I just have to take one of you down with me.”
That voice. It sounded similar to Billy’s, enough that if you’d heard it you might think the same thing. But you didn’t dwell on that as you watched the man launch himself forward at the two of you. The gun went off and the attacker faltered, but he kept on running. When his body ran into Billy’s and shoved you against the car, you heard the gun skitter to the asphalt. 
As the attacker stabbed the knife into Billy’s side again, the moan of pain coming from the man you were trying to hold up, you realized that you didn’t have a choice. You had to lean around Billy to do what you needed to.
The knife went straight into the attacker’s bicep first. Then you pulled it out and swung out, harder this time. As it went into the attacker’s neck, Billy reached up and took hold of your wrist and thrusted it in harder. The attacker’s scream echoed through the emptyish parking lot, you stepped around Billy and pulled the knife out before you plunged it in again. 
Billy’s hand didn’t leave your wrist as you thrusted the knife into the man’s neck and chest, over and over. When the attacker fell, you almost went with him just to keep going, but Billy wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you up.
“He’s gone,” Billy said into your ear as he held you tight. “He’s gone. You can stop.”
You closed your eyes for a long moment before you looked at the body slumped at your feet. He was gone. He was gone and this was over.
The knife fell to the ground next, clattering loudly as it bounced a bit. Your eyes burned as you stared at the man who had tried once more to end your life.
“Who…”
Billy squeezed your hip and then bent down. You shook your head because you didn’t know where Billy’s wounds were but you were worried he would hurt himself worse than he already was. You followed him down, hands immediately on his sides to check his injuries.
“No, no, stop,” he said as he pushed your hands away for a second. “We need to…”
He reached out for the man’s mask but you grabbed his wrist and stopped him. When he pulled his hand away, you reached out for the mask yourself.
The man under it was completely nondescript. You weren’t sure that you’d ever seen him before in your life, not here or back home. He looked like any man you may have passed on the street a thousand times.
“I don’t know who that is,” you said as you stared at him.
“He’s dead. That’s who he is.”
You slumped on the ground next to the car. When Billy passed his cell phone to you, you immediately dialed 911. Billy needed an ambulance. And this needed to be put to an end immediately.
As the dispatcher answered, you remembered the first time you’d made this call. Instead of staring at the death of your mom and brother, you were staring at Billy’s bleeding body and his tired eyes.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“I need an ambulance and a lot of cops. We were just attacked by a known serial killer and we had to kill him to defend ourselves.”
Billy smiled with pride at you as he reached out to grab your hand in his.
The room your dad was in was a different one this time, but you found it easily enough. When you walked in, your dad was talking to the nurse quietly. She smiled and waved at you as she turned to leave, giving you the space to nearly climb into your dad’s bed to hug him.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you mumbled softly as you tucked your face into his neck.
His arms went around you and you noticed one arm didn’t have the same strength as the other. Still, he didn’t let you go for a long time.
“I’m sorry sweetheart,” your dad finally said as you pulled away. “If I hadn’t accused Billy, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“We can’t think about what might have happened,” you said as you grabbed his hand to hold it tight in yours.
The injuries from the accident were mostly healed but now your dad had the knife wounds to heal from. The doctors promised that he would make a full recovery and that it wouldn’t hold him back any. 
“I’m just glad it’s over. That you’re safe.”
You sat with that for a long moment. As terrified as you had been for so long, even before you knew there was someone out to get you, it had been so hard to feel safe. Your memories and nightmares kept you on the edge, even when you were supposed to be safe.
The only times those memories and nightmares stopped were when you were with Billy. 
“When he’s better, I want to meet Billy. I want to apologize in person. He deserves that much.”
You glanced at your dad and then back down to your clasped hands. 
“If I hadn’t left, he wouldn’t have been hurt. I should have talked to him, heard him out instead of just running.”
Your dad squeezed your hand until you looked up at him.
“It’s not your fault. I told you to leave. You listened to me.” 
“I’m an adult dad, I could have stood up for myself at any point. I believed you because I think part of me didn’t trust Billy but I should have.”
You knew things about Billy and Frank, things that made it a little easier to believe that he would. Although knowing those things, you shouldn’t have assumed anything. You knew Billy better than that. At least you should have.
“It wouldn’t surprise me if he told me he never wanted to see me again.”
You tugged on the fabric of your scrub pants, provided by a nurse at some point. The police had gathered your clothes for evidence since they had been drenched in blood. Mostly Billy’s.
“Kiddo, from what I’ve seen and heard since all of this happened, that man isn’t going to turn away just because of some stabs. He moved heaven and earth to find you when you ran off. The only other reason for him to do that besides being the killer is because he cares.”
You laughed and shook your head, but didn’t say anything. Instead you moved to lean into your dad’s arms once more.
“It’s all going to be okay sweetheart. It’s over.”
He was right, it was all over. It was going to be okay.
Somehow.
The room Billy was in was on a different floor. When you knocked on the door, his voice called out that you could enter. He was sitting up on the bed, a tablet in his hands as he looked through it. When he looked up, he seemed surprised to see you. 
“Hey,” you said slowly, drawing the word out a lot longer than it needed to. “I don’t have to stay or anything, I just wanted to check on you.”
His eyebrows furrowed as he put the tablet down to the side.
“Why wouldn’t you stay?”
You shifted a bit before you took two steps into the room.
“You wouldn’t be in that bed if it wasn’t for me. Plus the whole, you know, thinking you were a serial killer thing.”
Billy laughed which surprised you. He gestured you over to him and after you glanced over at the chair a few feet away, he made a soft ‘tsk’ sound before he patted the bed beside him. 
As you sat down on the very edge of the bed, Billy made that noise again and tugged you to him. You immediately froze and checked to make sure you hadn’t landed on any of the bandages on his chest, but he shook his head when he could tell what you were looking for.
“I’ve had worse,” he said as he put his hand over the bandage on his side.
“Billy, I–”
“Unless the next words out of your mouth are ‘understand that this wasn’t my fault’ then I’m not sure I want to hear them.”
“It was my fault though. If I hadn’t left without even talking to you, hadn’t thought you were the killer, you wouldn’t have had to come find me. You wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”
Fingers under your chin made you move your head until you met Billy’s dark eyes. 
“Given the chance, I would always put my body between you and danger. Whether or not you thought I was the danger. And in the end, you know I wasn’t involved.” After a beat of silence, he narrowed his eyes and gave you a small smirk. “You do know that I wasn’t involved, don’t you?”
You laughed and leaned into the hand on your face a little.
“If this was a movie or something, it might not mean that you were uninvolved. But this isn’t a movie, it’s real life. So no, I don’t still think you were involved.”
Billy laughed and released your chin but only so that he could reach down and run his fingers over your wrist a bit.
“I’m just glad that nothing happened to you. It would have…I don’t think I could have handled it if something would have happened to you while you were running from me.”
You didn’t want to think about that either. Billy being there had been a fluke, it should have just been you against him. That made you look at his bandages once more.
“It feels wrong somehow that you and dad got hurt this time but I didn’t. I’m glad that Frank and Karen had gotten out of town and were safe, but I came out of this without a scratch on me and both of you had been attacked.”
“I like to think of it as cosmic karma.” At your confused look, Billy explained. “The last time, you were the one that went through it all. You saw the dead bodies of your mom and brother, you got chased around the basement, you’re the one that had to fight for your life, you’re the one that still wears the scars. In more ways than one. So this time, we were able to take that for you. We can bear those for you.”
You didn’t even realize you were crying until he wiped the tears away. You sniffled and wiped at your face as you looked away from a long moment, gathering your thoughts.
“Do you think…”
You didn’t know how to continue the thought. When you didn’t, Billy called your name. As you looked up, he leaned forward until he could press his mouth against yours.
“Karen and Frank will be happy about this development at least,” he said as he pressed his forehead against yours. “They’ve been telling me to get over my hesitation and ask you out for a while. I just wanted to give you space until you were ready.”
With a laugh you raised your hand and pulled Billy back in for another kiss.
It had been a tough few years since the original murders. Safety had been hard to come by. Since then you had kept yourself caged and terrified the whole time. It had been hard to make connections with people over the last few years. But now? Even before the encounter in the parking lot with you killing the man who had tormented you.
Now you were thinking it was time for you to live your life once more. You smiled and leaned back between kisses to mutter two words to Billy.
“I’m ready.”
X
Thank you for reading this year's Halloween fic! I hope you enjoyed!
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sugurusluts · 1 year
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Zuko x mercenary!reader -part one
Do people still read Zuko x reader fics?
Mostly for my own amusement bc Zukos adorable- longer than my usual stuff! ♡︎
Warnings: none
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They had followed our little gang around the world, so it wasn’t hard to imagine they’d track Aang here, but they didn’t seem in any mood to strike.
I couldn’t help but feel defensive of the kingdom, even if the two were doing nothing but serving tea. I worked as a mercenary for whatever town seemed to need assistance. Despite not knowing any form of bending, I had connections, and that made me an asset.
Having worked around this place more times than I could count, I knew almost everyone. Most of everyone around town were good people, the type to invite you over for dinner just for giving them a hand in the fields.
Knowing someone like Zuko was around them made me uneasy, that was until Iroh approached me.
“Ah, a mercenary! What mercenary wouldn’t want to help a poor frail old man?” He whined dramatically, from behind me.
“Iroh” my hand tightened on my sword, I assumed there was an unspoken rule that neither group would bother eachother if they truly wanted to live in peace. Maybe I misread this dynamic?
“Good to see you too Y/N, you can losen your grip, im not here to fight you. I couldn’t care less about the Avatar, you know that”
I tilted my head in confusion, what else would he be here for? I couldn’t bring myself to believe he was now a hard working humble business man.
“Would you mind talking to me for just a minute, I’ll make it worth your while” he grinned, holding out a few gold coins he scrounged out of his pockets.
I caved from curiosity, following him as he walked me through a crowd, far away from his new little shop, leading me to a small alley.
“So..why did we have to go to an alleyway for this? Are you gonna mug me?”
“No such thing, I actually have a job for you”
I scoffed, the fuck made him think I’d want to take work from him? I turned on my heel, disappointed at the lack of information he gave me.
“Zuko’s lonely!”
I stopped in my tracks, turning back to Iroh, dumbfounded.
“Zuko’s lonely?”
“Painfully so, you know how hard it is to watch my nephew be such an introvert at his age?”
I rolled my eyes, “what does any of this have to do with me exactly?”
“Well, you could possibly help the poor boy out, couldn’t you?”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m asking you to ask him on a date”
“…”
“…”
Jesus fucking Christ he can’t be serious right now.
“You want me to ask the guy who’s tried to kill my friend more times than I can count on a date?”
“Precisely!”
“…Iroh, I’m not a prostitute, I’m not asking Zuko out for cash. He wouldn’t even agree to it either, he’d recognize me.”
The man sighed, pulling out a fabric bag filled to the brim with gold coins. God Zuko was a lost cause.
“Lay on the charm, and maybe he will!”
He dropped the bag in my hand, holy shit was it heavy..
“…fine”
I never thought I’d end up asking Zuko, the fire lords son out on a date, but here we are.
I sauntered into the tea shop, greeting locals as I made my way to where Zuko was pouring.
Carefully filling the cup, he didn’t notice as I leaned against the counter he was behind. I rested my chin in my hands, looking him up and down.
It has been quite a while since I saw him last, longer hair suited him.
When he finally noticed me, he took a double take, stumbling while trying to hold the cup steady.
“…Y/N..?” He asked almost timidly, as if he didn’t want to believe I was standing infront of him.
“Hey, you remember my name, aren’t you sweet?”
He went quiet, still staring at me as if he was seeing a ghost. He pushed past me, going to deliver tea to a table. What a good little worker.
He returned to where I was standing, starting to wash dishes, ignoring my presence.
“What’s your name?”
“..what?”
“Your name, you’re not still going by Zuko here are you?”
He flinched as I used his real name, his eyes flicking between mine and his dishes.
“..Lee. Why are you here?”
“Can’t I visit my favorite prince?”
He stiffened at the praise. “…are you planning on fighting me?”
“No, the opposite actually”
He furrowed his eyebrows in a surprisingly cute fashion.
“Going from Avatar hunter to waiter must be a real boring change of pace for you, huh?”
He didn’t answer, still washing dishes.
“How about you let me make it more interesting for you?”
“..what?”
“I’m asking you out Lee”
He didn’t say anything to that. He simply blinked comedically, his eyes wide.
I gave him time, I wasn’t going to rush him. Iroh did not have the same curtsy.
“Ah welcome to our Shop miss, what tea do you fancy?”
“..I’m not the biggest fan of tea, I’m here because I fancy something else”
Zukos face turned an impossible shade of red, I thought steam may come out of ears if I kept this up.
“Oh? And what are you referring to?” Iroh couldn’t keep the smile off his face.
“Your nephew of course”
“Oh! Well a night out couldn’t hurt, right Lee?”
He whipped his head back and forth between his uncle and I in disbelief.
“Uncle, you know who this is don’t you?!”
Iroh studied me up and down.
“A humble mercenary looking for a date?”
“You’re exactly right” I smiled knowingly at Iroh, despite him technically being my enemy this exchange was a little fun.
“I don’t see why not Lee! Aren’t they cute?” Iroh gestured to me as if this was completely normal.
“Yeah Lee, aren’t I cute?” *i lean over the counter, invading his personal space.
Poor thing was absolutely floored as he whipped his head between me and Iroh trying to figure out if he was the weird one for being suspicious.
“If this is some sort of ploy to-“ he glares me, but it’s hard to take him seriously with such a red face.
“-I’ll pay for dinner, alright? All you have to do is have fun and look pretty. How about I come back at 7?” I didn’t know I had this much game until now. Why wasn’t I using this power for good before?
“The Shop will be closed by then, no reason to decline” Iroh looks up at his flustered nephew. How long would it take for the poor boy to crack?
“..fine..if you’re not here by exactly seven, I’m not going”
What a brat.. this was going to be an interesting date.
“I’ll be on time, don’t worry your pretty little head. I have business to attend to, I’ll be seeing you Lee” I wink at him, amused at how..affection starved he seemed.
He spun back around, his back facing me, but I could see the blush on his face starting to reach his neck..
Iroh was going to owe me much more than a bag of coins for this.
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male-body-swap-lover · 11 months
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Becoming the Old Man Next Door
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Carter Austin was annoyed that he had to be home for his parents 30th wedding anniversary. The model was only in town for one night, and even that was too much. He hated Fairview and missed the fast life of New York. The 28-year-old was one of the hottest models on the scene and couldn’t believe he was wasting his weekend in his childhood bedroom.
Hon, we are so excited that you are home. We’ve missed you.
You know how busy I’ve been mom. I’m one of the hottest models. I’m constantly booked.
I know. We told Mr. Jarvis that you were coming home and he was so excited to see you.
Mom, I’m 28. I don’t want to go see our old neighbor.
Oh, just do it Carter. It’ll make him happy. He’s lonely. His wife has been dead for 20 years and he has no children. Just do it.
Fine.
I went next door and rang the doorbell. Mr. Jarvis answered the door. I forgot how fat he was.
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Austin my boy. So good to see you. Come in come in. Sit down. I’ll get you a drink.
As I sat in his living room, I looked around at his depressing life. The room seemed straight out of the 1970’s, and it reeked of tobacco. 15 minutes. That’s all I need.
Here’s a coke. So, tell me about New York.
It’s fun. I travel the world. I’m one of the top models out there.
I know. I’ve followed you. You are quite the good-looking young men. I bet ladies throw themselves at you.
I get my fair number of women. And men. I don’t discriminate.
I wish I had your life. My life was always boring. And it’s been worse ever since Marian died. I live a lonely life.
Well not everyone can have my life. This coke tastes weird.
That’s because it’s not coke at all. It’s a special potion. You see Carter, I’m tired of being an old man who never did anything with his life. I want a life in the fast lane. So, I am going to steal yours.
What. That’s not possible
I stand up and try to move, but I can’t. It’s like I am frozen in place.
Carter, look in the mirror. Can’t you see the changes have already begun.
As I stared into the mirror, I could see the wrinkles start appearing on my face. Suddenly I started breathing heavier as I felt myself get older. I ran my hands through my hair and it came out in chunks in my hand. I tried to run, to get out, but couldn’t move. My skin was aging. I could feel my youth leaving my body. Passing 30. All of my hair fell out. Passing 40. Stubble appeared on my face. Then it stopped. I looked in the mirror. Damn. I’m fucking old, but I’m fucking hot.
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Haha old man. I’m still fucking hot. Look at me. Your plan failed.
You aren’t very smart are ya Carter. That was just step one.
Step one! I turned to him and saw that somehow his hair had grown back in and he looked middle aged. It’s like my hair and age went to him!
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Yes, there are three steps. Let’s start step number two.
With that he clapped his hands and suddenly I felt bloated. My stomach was starting to rumble. I looked in the mirror and my face was bubbling. Suddenly it felt like I was blowing up like a balloon. 10, 20, 50, 100, 150, 200 pounds of fat just suddenly appeared on my body. For some reason as I grew, my clothes grew with me.
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I was a whale. No one would ever recognize me. It was absolutely disgusting. I used to make fun of people who looked like this. Now I was one of them. I turned and looked at my captor. He looked good. He was so skinny. It’s like all of his weight transferred to my body! He was hot! I was so jealous. Wait he said this was step two, what was step three going to be?!
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Damn, I never even looked this good when I used to be in my 40’s. This is amazing. I bet you are wondering about step three. Well, I suppose it’s time to start the final step. Get ready to say goodbye to any remaining part of your old life.
A wave suddenly washed over me. I could feel the life force draining from my body. My facial hair was turning white. My back pain was killing me. I could feel pain everywhere in my body. Arthritis. But I’m only 28. What is happening. I didn’t even think this was possible.
I’m Marvin Jarvis. Wait what! No I’m not Marvin… I’m um….i’m um. What is going on. It’s like I am losing my memories.
What are you doing to me. Why can’t I remember my name. Why do I think I’m you.
Because, Marvin, that’s part of step three. I become you and you become me. We might not look exactly the same, but the world will change to suit us. Why don’t you look at your license.
I could barely reach my wallet. I pulled out my driver’s license. It still said Carter Austin, and then it changed. Marvin Jarvis. 81 years old. 375 pounds. I looked at the photo and then at my reflection in the mirror. There was the same old man. Me!
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You’ll never get away with this.
I already have. Your old memories will continue to slip away until you become Marvin Jarvis. Meanwhile, I’ll get your memories and live out my life again. A world-famous model. Carter Austin. My life is set.
Suddenly my mom entered the house.
Hello Marvin. I just came to get Carter. Dinner is ready.
I wanted to scream out. To tell my mom what happened. All that came out was “Of course Karen. It was lovely seeing Carter again. What a fine man he has become.”
Mom, I am just going to hug Mr. Jarvis goodbye and then I’ll be home.
Okay. See you soon honey. Goodbye Marvin.
The new Carter came and hugged me. Good luck Mr. Jarvis. You’ll need it. Don’t forget to take your heart pills, and back pills, and all the other pills. Don’t drive at night. Also, your social security check barely covers basic living expenses. Haha. Better get one last look at me. This is the last time you’ll see me. I’m never coming back to this hodunk town.
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I started crying as the new Carter Austin left. He may not have looked exactly like me, but what does it matter. The world believes he is Carter and I am Marvin.
I sat down because my knees were giving out. I tried to remember everything about my old life, but I could feel it slipping away. I’m trapped. There is nothing I can do. You know what sounds good right now. A good pipe. I wonder if NCIS is on. 6:30pm. Almost time for bed. Well, maybe being an old man isn’t going to be so bad after all.
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