#Jeff Bezos lmfao

[fapper]

had my first date w a white man, and..... well.

ok so just came back home. its 5pm. we met at 1pm. but i walked back home 1 hour. WALKED.

red flags:

didnt pay for my drink

was a band kid

went to a PATD! concert

listens to hardcore rock and uses apple music

walked like 20 mins to see something but we needed an appointment so he said "nevermind lets come to my rooftop"

invited me to his apartment to "watch movies" right after... i was like. fuck no

but he let me into his apartment and it was clean and nice. the view was pretty. obviously the man is rich lmfao

had a picture of jeff bezos framed on his table as a joke

had 6 books on his shelves, one of which was a historical book about napoleon to which he said hes "currently reading"

said his favorite movie is american psycho

said hes like patrick bateman. no im not joking. he said he basically lives like him: works, works out, etc. said this was a red flag so he knows

said he comes to his rooftop all the time to look at planes and guess which airline it is from looking at an airplane tracker (?) which was so nerdy. he said this was a nerdy activity himself so. but like why would u do that lmfao like how bored do u have to be bro

followed me into safeway 💀 and grocery shopped w me ????? i was like man ummmm ???? and while i was checking out he entered his number on the thing and it subtracted 30 cents from my total 💀 and i had to pay still

after we got on the rooftop, we stood up to leave and he side-hugged me all of a sudden???? and said today was a good day blabla. BRO I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HE WAS HUGGING ME BUT IT WAS SO AWKWARD AND SUDDEN???? AND IT WASNT A NICE HUG EITHER it was a side-hug?????? so i just smiled and said nothing.... ummmmmm that was weird

couldve offered to give me an uber ride back home but didnt

WHELP. that was a tragedy. mans fr just wanted me for sex... WHELP! that was a dusty..... moving on

[mahoushoujotechsupport]

time for ep 5!

i definitely never paused before to look and see what it says when they show the witchboards lol so interesting to see this is written in latin 

and next shot is lukic’s book which is in english lol

my little excitable dumbass

are we ever gonna find out how conz got away with this at all before croix got to the school? like how did modding her broom not get the green team outright disqualified in the relay race lol

lmao

luna nova’s hot pot restaurant

i cannot emphasize how much i love the word vulgar. like growing up it just made me think of my parents but like a month ago i was talking to my friends about a very predominant personality type in my city and and there was just no better word to describe it than VULGAR and i felt like such an Old™️ but it was so perfect and like yea i feel you diana

lukic channeling ova diana

really i love this

lol she really said you guys are going to time out and then called them idiots

i love how ruthless this is made to feel but its like not at all really. i mean cmon, akko and amanda were being annoying and diana’s just here to do her work. no i am definitely not relating this to my time at the office dealing with stupid coworkers

hm... ok atsuko.

here’s a little treat for yall amandakko shippers

these two just fell from the sky once the sorcerer’s stone was too far away and are just perfectly fine. witches be sturdy

i know holbrooke’s a bit of an exception but man it really is amazing how akko just doesnt give up on luna nova ever. sure she came in guns blazing thinking she as a teenage girl could come help with something she had no knowledge of but like goddamn most, if not all, of the professors are so unnecessarily mean to her. 

yea sure she’s a troublemaker but moreso than the other students making fun of her, the most daunting thing really is how she gets treated by the people that are supposed to be helping her grow as both a person and a witch. like that’s your freaking job. i know there’s fics that try to humanize finnelan but nah she’s a bitch

like this is cruel lol all she did was come to do the right thing and tell the adults what happened and offer her help

bike au bike au bike au

we all shouldve picked up on sucy’s vore tendencies early on

kimochi warui

look at her hair,,,

she is literally just looking out for akko’s dumb ass here, but you know that one question that’s on psychometric assessments for ASD that goes something along the lines of “other people often tell me that what i said was impolite, even though i think it was polite” lmfao yeah

🔥 🚒 🧯

i love her so much

this scene but bike au challenge against louis

you guys will just have to deal with the random diana screenshots

you’d think with the cavendish family being such a big deal, the luna nova professors would at least know diana knows dragonese? like ok sure i get that they never even bothered thinking of getting the damn dragon loan promissory note translated but like lol

dragon text screenie

bless you conz

oh shit did not at all remember that amanda canonically calls jasminka “jasna”

akko face

really one of the best instances of “had us in the first half”

the lwa world is so amazing and ridiculous. like yea yea fafnir is a stock trading loan shark but also the idea of a dragon having this insane smart home security system set up is just lmao

☭ ☭ ☭ ☭ ☭ ☭

twitter communists calling out jeff bezos’ reptilian ass

sasuga... but really they’re so obsessed with her, how did no one know this? ya she’s following her dream and all but lmao diana’s gotta be sorely disappointed when she starts luna nova and finds out her teachers all share a brain cell

also love akko being genuinely impressed with diana’s language skills here lol

she smile

imagine how many times she just gives akko that look in the hallways later on and like the first time someone sees it happening theyre just so confused

lol everyone’s faces

diana cavendish has revoked your gay card

look at her smile again

also the little thing on holbrooke’s robes looks like a weed leaf missing the rest of its leaves in this shot

calm down you gays

ok thats a wrap on ep 5… will probably watch a couple more eps today since i don’t really have much to do

[givemearmstopraywith]

The myth of the All Powerful Jewish Cabal was a rhetoric used by Hitler himself and ppl still spill this bullshit today. Unbelievable. No one has this energy for rich/powerful people who aren’t jewish.

its fucking insane you're telling me that every single jewish person on earth has more power than, say, elon musk? the other issue i have is that half the time people are not even criticizing israel, which they fucking well should- its always weird vague blanket language that absolves the imperialist state (and ergo its ties to the west) and sockets the blame onto every single living jewish person. the issue is not wealth control. if it was wealth control they'd all be hounding elon musk and jeff bezos and their 'cabals.' it has nothing to do with power or privilege. it does however have everything to do with a resurgence in the same antisemitic rhetoric that caused the holocaust. lmfao

[lesbiansanemi]

4, 19, 44??? :3

4. which cryptyd being do you believe in?

I believe in basically all cryptids! Not like... in the sense that most people would though? Like... I think most cryptids probably exist, just not in a mythological way. More of people have caught sightings of undiscovered species and it's been exaggerated. Having said all that tho, Mothman is real and he's an interdimensional being

19. imagine we're at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

I would absolutely paint your nails! I love painting nails, whatever color you want :D We could paint our nails and watch funky anime and talk about weird things cuz you Get Me lol

44. you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

Socially acceptable answer, I would hunt jeff bezos or elon musk for sport. Slightly more socially acceptable answer, I have a list of fantasy authors I'd like to duel (mostly g rr martin and sarah j maas). Not socially acceptable answer, if my mother ever dies in mysterious circumstances, I, unfortunately, will likely be suspect number one lmfao

[salt-volk]

"Not admin basically saying "uwu it's not selfish for Jeff Bezos to get richer and spend all his money going to space.""

lmfao what a blatant over exaggeration of her statement. maybe this seems wild to ppl who spend their whole lives online but... believe it or not... ppl irl being actively systemically murdered everyday by billionaire fucks like bezos carries 100x more significance than like 15 fucking users on a stagnant mid tier pet site having more pixels than everyone else. comparing them in any way and assuming statements abt one can be extrapolated to the other is just disingenuous. capitalism is very very serious and supporting capitalism irl (aka basically condoning widespread murder, systemic violence, trafficking, destruction of the planet, ect) is not the same as showing fumbled support for trivial petsite economy bullshit. i'm anti-custom too but, fuck... yea ppls views irl can affect how they behave in games, but implying that if someone is okay w the dumbass customs system they must also thus be in support of billionaires and their child labor and union busting and shit like... if i kill enemies in an rpg am i pro serial killer irl all of a sudden? please remember this is just a game man 

[ragingtwilight]

1, 13, 21, 41, 44 :D

FUCK YEAHHHHHH

1. sun & moon BUT ALSO MY OCS ARARARAR

i use Robyn like a stressball, gonna make his stupid little head pop like a balloon

13. literally a few mins ago LMAO i had a cookie before shopping then cleaned & my hands were shaking like crazy but i had to get it done or it was gonna bug me all night ahsvd

i had pizza pockets 👁👁

21. a little plush cat named Marbles bc she has a marble in her head, shes like a rattle but way louder LMAO

i loved her lots so i made an oc out of her ausgdjdj, shes a cat plush possessed by an elderly serial killer cat lady ayooo

41. nonexistent LMFAO coffee and tea are both yucky ucky 2 me

the only hot drink i have is hot chocolate aiagdjjd

44. prob jeff bezos, or some other scumbag with a lot of power

fuck amazon 🖕 all my homies hate amazon 👊💥

[saintlaurentproblems]

Nope! Should I???

YES! it's maya Rudolph! it's loosely based on jeff bezos ex wife. lmfao

Omg wait okay I’ll watch it after I finish palm Royale

[safesthavenoutsideofexistence]

My dark seduction is healing. I overwhelm them with my awe-inspiringly potent seduction. I'm naturally rigged to never fall for illusions. They tangibly know illusions don't apply to me(chills). I tangibly know illusions don't apply to me. I blow them away with how unbelievably darkly seductive i am. My dark seduction feels so tangibly potent. Like redmanifesting. LMFAO I FOUND HIM WOW. I AM MY OWN ANSWER HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT ME PUTTING MY FACE OVER THAT "woman who doesn't need anyone's validation is the most feared individual" IS WORKING. I SEE HOW IT'S ENERGETICALLY WORKING. Damn I'm even ruthie's type 😏🥵. I'm her NUMBER ONE MOST TYPE. IM RIGGED TO GET MORE AND MORE ASTONISHINGLY POWERFUL. IM RIGGED TO GET MORE AND MORE ASTONISHINGLY POWERFUL ON THE WITHIN. I'm rigged to believe what puts me at ease. I'm naturally rigged to trust the stories that put me at ease. I'm naturally rigged to imagine things that profoundly puts me at ease. I'm rigged to have faith and to never stress cause i know i can't get it wrong. I'm so fucking scorching im the dopest when it comes to bold self-expression. They wanna fuck me cause I'm the sexiest in the dopest way. Geez. They can't get enough of me cause I'm tangibly that bitch. Even my backgrounds always luxurious. Even the background of my pictures no matter what it is it always SCREAMS UNBEARABLE LUXURY. My energy unbearably oozes THE SEXIEST LUXURY. My energy seductively, orgasmically and alluringly oozes the deepest intimacy(chills). I'm so tangible sex my energy exceedingly and immeasurably surpassed tangible sex. My energy tangibly feels so unsurpassably orgasmic. Seduction. Raw unbridled seduction in their imagination(chills). I'm tangible seduction they're 100% convinced i can seduce CEO Billionaires. I'm tangible seduction they're 100% convinced i already seduced CEO Billionaires. They inherently know i seduce CEO Billionaires. Cause CEO Billionaires already follow me. CEO Billionaires inherently follow me and everyone sees it. Jeff Bezos is following me and everybody knows. Jeff Bezos is following me I know. I accomplish staggeringly formidable shit. I tangibly accomplish staggeringly formidable shit. I exceedingly and immeasurably surpass formidable. I'm the ultraformidable siren. They see me in their heads on repeat "Saying I'm The Ultraformidable Powerful Siren." I'm The tangible Ultraformidable Powerful Siren. I tangibly feel red. My energy tangibly feels sex with me is potent hot. My sex appeal is unbearably appealing. My energy is tangible orgasm. My sex appeal is tangible orgasm. My presence is tangible orgasm. They feel their dicks and pussies cumming in my presence. They tangibly feel their dicks and pussies cumming in my presence that's why they can't even hate on me or judge me. My sex appeal is too unbearably excruciating. My sex appeal too unbearably fuckable. They go all out to impress me. I'm someone who they need to impress ofc bitch I'm a Zillionaire. I'm rigged to not have any worries for I'm rigged to not have any reasons to worry(chills). Doesn't matter cause all they see is my desired frequency(chills). I talk like im Thanos there’s tangible power behind my words and with monstrous evidence to back it up. Theyre in awe i make them energetically see me. Theyre in awe of how excruciatingly aligned i am with the things I say they’re in awe because I am what I preach. That alone is worth me being awe-inspiring. I’m simply the baddest bitch in the most appealing way. They see me Pamela Anderson.antonellamania number. My energy so tangibly sexily raw. All the dope people want to fuck me I’m so tangibly raw. I never come across as a desperate slut i only come across as raw and someone who sexily, admirably and charmingly doesn’t give a fuck. To see my sexy pictures is to see Goddess art. Im a tangible Goddess. I look like a Monet Painting. Im their favorite artistic melody(chills). I tangibly ooze pure seduction. Im never weaker than. Im mentally never weaker than. My energy has a firm grip hold over their attention and where their eyes goes.

[strawberrytalia]

Omg I kinda wanna jump on this new trend/idea that ella (@tatsujeff) made

1. Green. AHDHSHWH i know i sound vain for this, but bravery and willpower go hand in hand, and I think despite the many shitty things I’ve went through, I still keep going and stand by my personal morals even going against my family. I am not scared of abstract ideas like loneliness, death, etc. Also I’m a commitment-phobe like every canon GL lmfao

2. REDDDD. A couple of years ago or even just last year, this would’ve been my first choice but i’ve grown lol, anyways yassss spitting blood and blacking out with anger

3. Indigo! I don’t like to show this side of myself to like everyone lol but i am a compassionate person, and it’s weird bc i’m able to have more empathy for people i don’t even know as opposed to the ones i do. But yeah!

4. Yellow. I do get consumed by anxiety A LOT but I’m also very comfortable with myself, so it’s kind of a good middle deal.

5. Star Sapphire. I only love a couple of people but I would literally cut off my arm for them. They keep me going.

6. Orange. I mean I get possessive of my stuff lol sometimes but it’s not a huge indicator of my personality (tbh unless you’re jeff bezos i don’t think this applies to any of us lol)

7. Blue. Unfortunately I’m a very realistic person lol, I don’t like to see the good in others as much these days. Also I lose hope so fast I would literally die in my first week of being a blue lantern 😭

[madameducyberversailles]

WEEEEEELLLLLPPP

HEY

So it has been a FUCKING hot minute but anywayyyy I might have started fixating on CoD MWII (which is FUCKED because I’m strictly anti-military) so this sideblog will be used for its intended purposes...risky writing! 

Anyway lmfao let’s see what I come up with with only 4 hours before work

Also before anyone asks no the fuck I didn’t play the game and I don’t intend do, so anything constructive about the plot or characterization is one thing but if you just wanna demand I play the game please go deepthroat Jeff Bezos’ boots like I give a fuck.

[viejospellejos]

Amazonks

[ablednt]

I’d love to see what discourse on tumblr would look like if the phantom thieves were real

[lobsterdex]

what do you MEAN bill shatner went to fucking space

[z00r0p4]

My favorite pastime is fighting with my 12 year old brother about Elon Musk

[itsstillparasocialifyouhatethem]

this is about acting all high and mighty about how you're above parasocial relationships and mock people who are parasocial but then go on to obsessively follow actors/creators/etc in order to make fun of or criticize or get worked up over every single thing they do when they could literally just ignore them

if you think no one does this, i have bad news. i didn't blaze this post for no fucking reason lmfao

anyway yes of course it's ok to parasocially hate jeff bezos or dick cheney or elon musk or the koch brothers or donald trump or mitch mcconnell or jk rowling or whoever. it's not bad! in fact i encourage it

in fact the only way this becomes an issue is if you think parasocializing is unilaterally bad, but it really isn't. it's got upsides and downsides and it's definitely something you should practice in moderation, but it's aggravating to see people being hate-parasocial with actors also make fun of people who are love-parasocial with the exact same people to the exact same degree and then turn around and act like they're somehow better people for it

that's why i gave money to tumblr to put this on people's dashboards

this is about supernatural btw. what the hell goes on in the dream fandom or whatever it's called

@l-cereta

[safesthavenoutsideofexistence]

They love me by default no matter what I think and no matter how wild I may be. They're in love with how wild I may be. There's nothing stopping my desires from coming. I'm only gaining my soul. Through gaining my soul I understand others. It's only being open-minded. My within is my remote control. Omg this is how my self concept is staggeringly superior wow. I have a profoundly deep understanding of how my within works. My self concept just elevates everything. Jeff Bezos Bill Gates Mark Zuckerberg and stares at me like I'm the Sultan. I come from lifetimes back. Omg it's that easy all I gotta do is effortlessly change it on the within then the without is bound to reflect. The without is the slave of my inner world. I naturally take their within's techniques that make them win and keep it all for me. Omg....now I'm understanding it I'm the apex predator of within. My intentions are slaves to my desires. It's the energy behind it. OMGMGMGMGGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMMGGMGMGM. The behind the scenes is wildly creative. The behind the scenes is spectacularly creative. The behind the scenes is all under my control regardless. The behind the scenes is satisfyingly in my favor. I do it with astonishing intentions. I talk with astonishing intentions. It's energy, magic, spiritual, physical. Wow I exist in all realms. I utilize all realms into my favor all at once. Damn. That's next level of me. Holy. Just me speaking mystical reveals my brilliant intelligence. I can't even change my own energetic truth that puts me at ease. Everything I do satisfyingly pays off. They profoundly see everything they do is in my favor. Even treating their woman right is in my favor it energetically leads it right back to me. LMFAO. OMGGGGG that's crazy I'm inescapable.