#Jeff goldblum imagine

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery (thank u for the idea!), @eclecticwildflowers

warnings: mention of menstruation, swearing

Ian and I walked into the convention center arm in arm. I was looking at the itinerary for the lectures while Ian looked over where everything was.

“thank god it’s only one day we have to be here.” Ian pointed out when I showed him that he would have to attend at least four lectures before his lecture even took place. He rubbed his forehead with his free hand before taking off his sunglasses. “Next time I’m just going to agree to my own lecture and we can sneak away before we get roped into anything else.” Ian pulled me close and playfully bit my ear.

”Ian.” I laughed. “For fucks sake! We’re in public.” Ian pulled away and pulled me into a searing kiss.

“screw public.” He teased. “Anyway what are these lectures on anyway?” His head fell against mine as he looked over the paper in my hands.

“Well there is one lecture you won’t get out of.” I pointed out. Ian frowned as I pointed it out. “Led by one Dr. Ellie satler?” Ian sighed and nodded.

“right. The one I agreed to come to months ago and have always found an excuse to miss.” He pouted. “She finally managed to tie me down.” I playfully shoved him.

“shut up Ian. It won’t have anything to do with jurassic park as far as I know. Just something to do with her research on…something.” I laughed. I felt Ian lean some of his weight against me as he sagged in relief. “Now come on. Someone is giving a lecture on chaos theory and you need to be there for that.” I pulled him in the direction of the auditorium and grabbed some seats as far back as we dared.

Ian sat with his hand on my thigh, fingers playing with the hem of my pants. I had to grab his hand a few times to stop him from inching closer to my crotch. I shifted uncomfortably a few times and Ian looked over at me with a raised eyebrow. I waved him off each time and breathed a sigh of relief as I stood up at the end of the lecture.

“god that was long.” I said as I stretched.

“uh (Y/N)?” Ian said softly. I looked over my shoulder at him. Ian’s gaze was fixed on my ass and I almost smacked him until I turned fully to look. “Do you have a change of clothes?” His eyes jumped up to mine and I shook my head.

“I mean technically. But all I packed this weekend was light clothes.” I said, surprised by how calm I was with this. “Figured with the amount of people, and the natural light in this place, it’d be cooler.” Ian nodded.

“I have a change of clothes in the car. It’ll be big on you but it’s black and no matter what happens at least it will cover it up.” Ian stood up and wrapped his jacket around my waist, making it look like he was hugging me from behind so no one else noticed I had bled through the back of my pants. “I’ve got some pads packed too.” I nodded as I leaned back against him.

“you always think ahead.” I murmured as we followed the crowd that was exiting the auditorium. “Why do you have pads in your car?” I asked, looking over my shoulder at him again.

“in case of times like this.” He whispered before kissing my cheek. “Wait here. I’ll run out and grab it.” Ian left me by the bathroom and ran out to the car. He came back with a bag and ushered me into the bathroom. When I came back, I handed him the bag back. “Better?” I nodded. “Ok. Go to the next lecture and I’ll run these to the hotel to soak so they don’t stain.” I nodded and pulled Ian into a kiss. “What was that for?” He asked, eyeing me slightly as I pushed him away.

“for being the best partner ever.” I said with a smile. Ian smiled back and walked backwards out of the convention hall while I watched. Once he was gone, I headed to the next lecture to wait for him to come back.

[little-wicked10]

Let Me Make You Juno (Ian Malcolm Smut)

Summary: When Ian returns from Jurassic Park, he has a new perspective on some decisions he’s been contemplating. Like the need to lock down the love of his life. (Inspired by Sabrina Carpenter’s song Juno)

Warnings: SMUT 18+ ONLY!!! Breeding kink, Ian being the silver tongued devil he is😏, cursing

Notes: Yes, I’m aware that the movie Juno came out several years after the original Jurassic Park BUT this is inspired by a song that was inspired by a movie (most likely I’m just assuming).

//

She was there the moment the helicopter touched down.

She was there as they gurnied him into the hospital to be treated.

She was there to take care of him every step of the way.

From his Costa Rican hospital bed, Ian would watch her sleeping form slumped in a chair in the corner. He observed her as he was lost in his thoughts. Almost dying had a way of making you reassess your life and decisions you’ve been dancing around. Like the one sitting in a velvet box back at his apartment.

Ian bought the ring before he’d made up his mind. There was a lot he was considering before asking her to marry him. He often joked he was always on the look out for the “future ex-Mrs. Malcolm”, but he was hesitant to add her to that list. She had changed his life. She had encouraged him to start carving out more time for his children, albeit a slow process since he had to become civil with their mothers. No one had pushed him to better himself quite like her.

Staring death in the face with all its sharp and bloody teeth was when he made his decision. Ian prayed (for the first time in who knows how long) he’d make it off that island so he could finally ask her that all important question. She WAS the future and last Mrs. Malcolm. No matter what, he’d be with her until his heart stopped beating.

//

“What?”

Ian smiled at her shocked expression, “Will you marry me, my wonderful and beautiful goddess?”

Her eyes stared at the ring in the box he held out to her. The diamond shined in the candlelight of their romantic dinner. “You’re…are you serious?” her heartbeat a million miles a minute.

“Of course I am, my darling. You’ve changed my life in such an…exponential way. You’ve made me uh…a better man, a better father to not just my current kids but for our future kids,” Ian pulled the ring from the box and held it between his fingers, “So…what do ya say?”

“You want…with me? Yes, Ian! Yes!” happy tears fogged her eyes as she grasped his face between her hands and kissed him.

Ian almost dropped the ring as he wrapped his arms around her, her tears wetting his cheeks. The restaurant goers that had been watching erupted in joyous clapping. She pulled away from their kiss and held out her left hand. Ian gently took her hand in his, carefully slipping the ring onto her finger. Their joy was infectious. He knew in his heart this was meant to be, he’d made the right decision.

//

Light flooded their apartment as the door swung open. Ian’s large hands held her close to his body tightly, clutching her silk dress and walking her backwards. Her fingers were woven into his curls as their tongues fought with one another. A swift kick shut the apartment door before he released her body to shrug off his leather jacket. Gently clutching her wrists, he pulled them from his hair as he delicately pushed the thin straps of her dress off her shoulders. Her hands worked on unbuttoning his already halfway unbuttoned black shirt.

The silk pooled at her feet as it finally cascaded down her body leaving her in her panties and heels. Ian was in awe of her, a lustful look in his eyes as he threw off his shirt to swagger towards his prey. The moonlight shining in from the windows made her look ethereal.

“You are a goddess,” his eyes slowly took her in, “And I must…no, need to worship at your alter.”

“Ian,” she whispered, her face flushed.

The man stopped before her and fell to his knees, large hands running up her legs as he kissed the top of her panty line. Her body shivered as his lips ran across the sensitive skin. Her fingers threaded into his hair once more as he squeezed her thighs, dark eyes staring up into hers.

“I want your touch for life, darling. Love you right until you bless me even more with something beautiful. I want to put my child right…here,” he kissed her stomach gently.

Ian’s eyes watched her breasts heave as she began to pant, “I’m so fucking horny, Ian.”

“I know,” dexterous fingers wrapped around her waist band, pulling her panties down her legs.

He aided her in stepping out of the garment before he stood up, picking her up and wrapping her legs around his waist. They smashed their lips together as he carried her to the bedroom in long strides. He moaned into her mouth as she ran her nails across his shoulder blades. They fell on to the bed, Ian being careful not to land on her too hard. An animalistic groan vibrated in his chest as he felt her hips roll against his.

Her needy whimper made him feral. His lips trailed down to her jaw line and neck, exploring her body with the drag of his lips and scrape of his teeth. He sucked on the swell of each of her breasts before running his tongue down her stomach. Ian could only imagine what she’d look like once their child grew inside her. Growling at the thought of her round belly and swollen breasts made his stomach twist in anticipation to make her his in every way possible. Ian suddenly sat up to gently remove her heels.

“I adore you, Mrs. Malcolm,” he kissed her left calf before reaching down to strum his thumb over her clit, “I adore every part of you…, Mrs. Malcolm.”

The way the title rolled off his tongue and his fingers slipped inside to begin massaging her sweet spot caused her to arch her back. When she reached out to him with a desperate whine, Ian leaned over her to look deep into her eyes. His hand moved faster when she reached up and bit his lip, eliciting a growl from deep within his chest. Her body writhed desperately, toes curling as she felt electricity began to burn from the bottoms of her feet to behind her eyes. “Please, Ian!” the way she begged may have been pathetic, but she didn’t care, “I want you inside me! Put a baby in me!”

Ian’s chuckle was dark, “I will, darling, but uh…you have to cum first.”

The fire in her belly burned even hotter when she heard his words. He had such a way of speaking, it flowed from his lips like honey and heightened the pleasure. The hot coil snapped and she came on his frantically moving hand. Ian showered the side of her face and neck with loving kisses as he helped her ride out her orgasm. Her arms lazily wrapped around his neck to press their lips together in a sloppy kiss. Removing his fingers, Ian pulled away from the kiss to suck his fingers, “Mm. Your taste is divine. I could explore you all night.”

“That won’t make a baby, my love” she smirked as he began to pull at his belt.

He chuckled and stuttered over his words at how quick she with his belt and pants, “You…uh…Darling, you’re…uh, uh…insatiable.”

“You bring it out in me, Dr. Malcolm,” small hands pushed down his slacks.

The curly haired man stood up off the bed and chucked off his slacks and boxers. Crawling on to the bed, he watched with predatory eyes as she moved up to lay at the head of the bed. They wrapped up into each other’s arms and legs. His large hands roamed her body as he thrust his hips against hers, teasing them both. A hand slipped behind her onto her lower back. He made her arch her back and angle her hips up. There was no warning when he slipped his long dick inside her. Her moans were music to his ears as she dug her nails into his back. “Oh my god,” Ian groaned as he picked up his pace, “Fuck this feels so right!”

Up until that point, they had always used condoms. The feeling of him being inside of her with no barrier, just raw, brought out something feral in her. There’s no way she could go back to rubbers after this. Her legs tightly wrapped around his waist, urging him to keep going with her heels against his ass. His arm wrapped around her hips helped him continuously spear her over and over again, free hand gripping the sheets next to her head. He suddenly switched their position, pulling out to flip her onto her stomach with her hips angled up.

Ian was back inside her once again as he pressed his chest to her back; his hands traveling up her sides before one tangled into her hair and the other slipped under her hips to her clit. His thrusts were deep and deliberate. Holding her head back enough for him to leave open mouth kisses along the side of her face and neck, whispering in her ear. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she desperately tried to move her hips to meet his thrusts.

“I feel you clenching around me, my love. I can hardly pull out. Not that I’m going to,” his smirk was pressed to her ear.

A desperate sound slipped from her throat as she felt pleasure building from the bottoms of her feet to behind her eyes.

“One of you is cute…it’s wonderful, infact, but two?” Ian growled and thrust roughly and bit her earlobe.

“Fuck, baby! Mark your territory!” she pushed her hips toward him more, if it was possible.

His fingers circling her clit and his animalistic pounding was enough for the coil to snap. She screamed as she clenched down on his thrusting cock and came. Her orgasm washed over her like a brutal wave and only lasted longer as her fiancé continued to fuck her into their mattress. Just as the high from her first orgasm subsided another quickly built and crashed over her. Ian admired the way her body writhed underneath him, unable to decide if she wanted more or less of his ministrations.

“D-don’t stop! Don’t stop! Cum inside me, baby!” she begged in her delirious state.

Ian’s brow creased in concentration and he bit down on his lip as his hips began to falter. The most wonderful cry left her lips as he thrust himself as deep as he could inside her to spill his seed. The feeling of him filling her to the brim would be burned into her body’s memory forever. A hand reached behind her and tangled into his hair, whimpering as she felt him rutting his hips into hers until he was fully spent. The only thing heard in the room was their ragged breaths.

He kissed along the side of her face and neck down to her shoulders, all the while whispering to her how good and beautiful she is. She whimpered as he slowly pulled out, feeling both their orgasms leak out of her. Ian laid on his side beside her before pulling her towards him. She gently turned over to face him and snuggled into his embrace. “You ok?” he asked, kissing the top of her head.

“I’m perfect,” she lovingly kissed his neck, “Planning a wedding and a baby? You’re truly a chaos magnet, Dr. Malcolm.”

“Chaos is unpredictable, my love. It might take one, two, or multiple tries to get you pregnant. Either way, I’m-uh more than happy to keep trying,” he smirked down at her.

Her felt her stomach jump in anticipation, and she gave a playful nip to his jaw line, “Then I guess we have a lot of work to do.”

[run-clever-boy]

Stolen Glances Pt. 1 - Ian Malcolm

@toomanybandstocare - thank you for the wonderful prompt!! Totally taking you up on it [Prompt Here]

Professor!Ian Malcolm x Student of Professor!Fem!Reader

Warnings: None! (Wine?)

Summary: Your father invites his colleague over for dinner and he turns out very different than you expected.

“Dr. Y/L/N!” The man said, walking into the room confidently with a bottle of wine in his hand.

“Professor Malcolm! A grand entrance as always!” You hear your father say from across the hall. You put down your book and walk into the kitchen of your home where your father and- who you were assuming was- Dr. Malcolm pouring wine.

Dr. Malcolm was an interesting man for sure, however his appearance was not what you first noticed. He had a commanding presence, but not threatening. His confidence and charisma radiated off of him. He seemed to know your father well enough to throw out some simple work anecdotes, but nothing of any more substance.

Your father finally noticed your presence in the kitchen and gestured you into the room further.

“My goodness, excuse my manners Ian! This is my daughter, Y/n” Your father says cheerfully. “Y/n, this is Dr. Ian Malcolm, a colleague of mine!”

You reach out and shake his hand firmly and he gives you a small nod. “She happens to be in your particular field of study I believe, Ian!” Your father chimes in.

You turn toward him. “What field of study do you teach, Doctor?”

“I am a man of theoretical mathematics, more specifically… uh.. the amazing possibility of.. um.. chaos theory!” He smiles brightly “Do you happen to be a student of.. uh.. theoretical math Y/n?”

“I’m actually not very familiar with theoretical math, however I am interested in the theories surrounding it. Currently, I’m pursuing the study of general, or to you more practical, mathematics at the university” You reply. “So you study the work of Edward Lorenz?”

He looked stunned for a moment. He had barely known anyone interested in chaos theory in his lifetime, and an undergraduate student was talking about Edward Lorenz, the inventor of the theory he bases his life’s work on. He practically grinned from ear to ear as he looked you up and down to evaluate you.

“See Ian, I told you she was something special” Your father said, beaming with pride. You put on a faux innocent expression and simply said “What?”. Then you made eye contact with the professor.

Just then is when the weight of his appearance hit you. His eyes bored holes in yours, sparkling with curiosity. He was dressed all in black attire, a button down and slacks from work you were assuming, except the top few buttons on his shirt were undone and his sleeves were rolled up. You could see the chain he was wearing around his neck under his shirt and the many rings he had. His dark framed glasses slid down on his nose so you were looking right at him, his dark curly hair hiding none of his face.

Your faux innocence faltered severely, causing a shy smile and a large blush to creep up on your cheeks as you broke eye contact and looked down at your shoes. You heard him chuckle slightly from in front of you and then finally raised your head back up to look at your father.

“So,” you said “what’s for dinner?”

“Steak dinner tonight Y/n, only the best when we have guests over!” He laughed heartily.

“Please, don’t go through trouble for me-“ Malcolm started

“Nonsense!” Your father interrupted. “We have to celebrate anyway, dear Y/n is starting her last year of classes before she is off to graduate school this week as well, it’s no trouble at all!”

“Congratulations!” Professor Malcolm said looking over at you again. “That’s a big achievement to make it this far.”

“Well thank you, Dr. Malcolm. I got my schedule today and I think you will be pleased to hear there may be a theoretical mathematics course on my roster. My father said he wanted to go over it with me anyways tonight.”

He looked you straight in the eyes again and your heart sped up. It was difficult to keep eye contact with him for a long time. He was a man that practically screamed intelligence and power, and for the first time in your life you couldn’t get enough of it. The magnetism alone took you completely by surprise.

“Well don’t just stand there! Dinner’s about ready, why don’t you go get your roster from your room and bring it down here for afterwards.” Your father suggested.

“Happy to, be right back.” You said and you swiftly exited the room.

You went to your room and grabbed the Manila envelope off of your bed. Y/N Y/L/N was printed in big bold letters on the front. You turned and exited your room to walk swiftly through the hallways back to the kitchen. You suddenly saw a shadow round the corner just before you bumped into it and jumped back, startled.

“I’m so sorry, truly, I.. uh.. apologize” You hear, realizing it’s only the professor you nearly walked into.

“No worries at all sir, I just got startled” You say with a breath of relief.

“No need to call me sir, Y/n. Dr. Malcolm is fine, but please just call me Ian, if you’re more uh comfortable with that.” He said with a smirk playing on his lips as he pushed his glasses up.

“Well Dr. Mal- sorry, Ian, thank you for coming.”

“Please is mine. Your father sent me to get wine glasses, do you uh know where those might be?” He asked, leaning against the wall he was next to.

“First cabinet down this hallway, there should be 3 perfectly clean glasses on the left.” You replied.

“Thank you, uh, very much”

You make your way to the kitchen and meet your father’s giddy smile.

“What do you think of him?” Your father says.

“He seems intelligent, good humor I suppose.” You put forward attempt a nonchalant tone. “He’s quite the personality”

“He may be your professor someday Y/n! Wouldn’t that be lovely!” You hear him giggle. Your father was always happy-go-lucky, but he always seemed especially happy when company came over.

“All good things I hope?” You hear from behind you.

You turn to face the voice that rattled you. You discover Ian leaning against the door frame with three glasses in his hands. His glasses slide down his nose and you look into his eyes through them, having to look up to be able to see his tall frame. He flashes you a wink when you linger on him a little too long and your face heats up wildly.

“Always” You hear your father say.

You take the glasses from him and set them on the counter next to the bottle of wine he brought over. You feel heat rise up from behind you as Ian reaches over you to grab the bottle of wine and uncork it. You have seriously never not been able to control your impulses and thoughts, but something about him breaks down every barrier.

~~~▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄~~~

You get through the delicious dinner with nothing more than slight glances over the table and his occasional smirk. You got to discuss some theory with him, which was a great experience. Discussions of the major influences of current mathematics, difference in theoretical vs. practical statistics, other things you had been learning and studying for your many years of university.

You finally got to discuss the schedule for your next year of classes with your father, but he insisted that Dr. Malcolm stay to give you advice for your last semester. It wasn’t a horrible idea in concept, actually you would’ve normally appreciated the opportunity, but the man in question was driving you crazy and you couldn’t understand why. While him leaving meant you would probably never see him again so you could focus, you really wanted him to stay. No one had ever made you blush like he did and you wanted to get to the bottom of why, Even if it involved getting a drink or two with him.

“Euclidean Geometry with a Dr. Hack, Probability in Statistics III with a Dr. Brown, and-“ Your father paused “Application of Chaos Theory with our very own Dr. Ian Malcolm! What a coincidence!” You father beamed out with joy, lightly tapping you on the arm.

“Well you will be one of my most interesting, uh, students, Y/n.” He said, looking you in the eye. “I’ll be seeing more of you then?” He added, leaning in.

“Let’s see where it goes, Dr. Malcolm” You say, bolder than you meant which immediately causes you to shrink back. He gives you an all knowing smile, looking right through you.

For once, you were excited for school to start again.

Tags from the comments of the prompt post: @melonpire @datrie @druigswh0ree

[the-patchwork-girl-of-oz]

Wizard: this is just standard procedure, I’m just gonna write down your height. 5’6.

Boq: oh wait, I’m wearing heels.

Wizard: can you take off the heels, please?

Boq: *steps out of heels*

Wizard: 5’1.

Boq: I’m still wearing my shoes, just not my heels. They’re disposable heels.

Wizard: okay. Can you take off the shoes?

Boq: *takes off shoes*

Wizard: 4’11.

Boq: and my socks have heels. They’re socklettos.

Wizard: no socks.

Boq: *takes off socks*

Wizard: 4’7.

Boq: and I’m standing on my tippy toes.

Wizard: why?

Boq: because my feet are stuck that way! I haven’t not worn heels since I was 11.

Wizard: WOULD YOU JUST TRY

Boq: *slowly forces his feet down*

Wizard: 4’3.

Boq: I’m sure my hat adds a few inches

Wizard: lose the hat.

Boq: *takes off hat*

Wizard: WHY IS THERE A HEEL ON YOUR HEAD

Boq: it’s a spare. God forbid I break down in the middle of nowhere.

Wizard: take. It. Off.

Boq: *takes it off*

Wizard: 4’1.

Boq: and I’m standing on my purse

Wizard: WHY are you standing on your purse?!

Boq: um, because I’m in a jail surrounded by criminals and I don’t want anyone stealing it. Also my feet are cold. I’m killing two ravens with one Simone.

Wizard: step. Off. The purse.

Boq: *steps off purse*

Wizard: 4’7… wait, how did you grow?

Boq: oops. I accidentally stepped back into my heels.

Wizard: OKAY. Here’s an idea. Take your high heels and your socks with heels and your hat with heels and put them in your bag with heels and give it to me.

Boq: *hands over bag with heels*

Wizard: THANK YOU.

Boq: are we done yet? I’m really tired.

Wizard: 4’6.

Boq: *slowly lowering himself onto the ground*

Wizard: 4’5, 4’3, 4’1, 3’5,

Boq: *falls on the floor*

Wizard: you’re 1 foot. You are 1 foot tall.

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Unpredictable // Chapter One

Ian Malcolm x Original Female Character / masterlist

Chapter Summary: Lyanna Grant, niece to Alan Grant finds herself working on her uncle's latest dig site.

Unpredictable Tag List: (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

Palaeontology. It was not an occupation that was extremely popular these days. However, it's always been what Lyanna wanted to do. Ever since she was young and visited the local museum for the first time. She must have been around eight. Her uncle had waited until she was old enough to remember the shock and awe of the things on display. Lyanna could remember gazing up at the razor-sharp teeth jutting out of the jaw of the tyrannosaurus skeleton and she knew. She just knew. This was it for her. Nothing could ever even come close.

 

Since that oh-so-fateful day, Lyanna became obsessed with the flora and fauna of the past. She read every book she could find, read every article, and found every fact. She collected figures and fossils and studied the subject furiously. It paid off well considering where she was at now, she supposed. 

Lyanna was now one of the most well-known palaeontologists in the modern world... although she suspected that part of her reputation may have some due credit to her being the niece of Alan Grant, a professor and world-famous palaeontologist himself. They’d both written a book. His about the evolution of the dinosaurs and hers about the different types of creatures from different eras throughout the prehistoric periods and how ecological changes then impacted the way the animals evolved in turn. 

Only a few years ago, Lyanna had finally gotten her Ph.D. certifications in palaeontology and had right off the bat found herself out in the field helping her uncle dig up dinosaurs. Sure, it could be considered mild nepotism but it was great working with family because she didn't feel so alone when she started working in Montana with him. It was a huge leap for her career not having to start at the very bottom of the palaeontological food chain. Alan made sure that the transition was as comfortable as possible. Lyanna really couldn't have asked for a better uncle slash boss...

"You alright there?" Dylan asked, breaking her from her thoughts and redirecting her attention to the task at hand. 

"Yeah," she replied wistfully. "Sorry, I was just thinking." Dylan was another graduate from Lyanna’s class. Alan had picked him up too when she’d graduated, claiming that new blood would be good for the digs. And it had been, given that they had a pretty constant trickle and turnover of volunteers as they grew bored with the heat and the sand.

"About what?" He asked curiously, fingering the dust out of a fossilised eye socket. 

"Just about how lucky I am," Lyanna replied with a small smile. She really was, and because she was self-aware about it, it made it easier to appreciate just how far she’d come in such a short time.

Dylan snorted and returned to the work at hand. They were currently excavating the skeleton of a Velociraptor. Lyanna was brushing away the few stray sands that were still on the pelvic bone of the creature. 

"You know, I'd hate to meet a raptor on a dark Friday night. Look at those teeth- they’d shred through you like a mandolin,” he winced, glancing up at Lyanna quickly.

"Yeah, I completely agree. It would be terrifying. Thankfully, a giant meteor crashed into the earth and prevented that, hey?" She laughed, pleased with her joke. Dylan chuckled and shook his head in mock irritation. “Though it wouldn’t necessarily shred you. See-” Lyanna ran a finger over the teeth worn through with time. 

“They’re built to grip and tear the flesh from the bones, so it would be more like…” Lyanna searched for some kind of analogy that would make more sense. “Getting stuck in a bear trap. You’re not going to be able to get out of it without ripping half of your leg off unless you unlatch the jaws.” 

"Doctor Grant? We're ready to try again." Lyanna heard the voice say from across the site. She clutched at her hat as a gust of dry wind tried to blow it away. 

"I'm going to go check this out, okay?" She said to Dylan while standing up and brushing herself off. He nodded distractedly and kept working. It wouldn’t be long now until they’d be able to get the bones out and shipped off for analysis and study. 

Glancing one more time at the partially exhumed skeleton, Lyanna stepped out from under the cover and immediately felt the beating hot Montana sun on her back. If she wasn’t sweating before, she certainly was now. 

During her short time working with her uncle, Lyanna had acquired a golden tan that covered most of her body except the parts of herself that were shielded by her clothes. It was almost like she wore tan gloves and thigh-highs. It was a good thing she didn’t get about much without a longer-sleeved shirt or shorts on. Lyanna made a mental note to try and get the rest of herself tanned up the next time she hit town. 

Before she came to the desert wasteland that she now called home, Lyanna was quite pale. Many of her friends constantly joked about how she was probably a vampire because of the paleness of her skin and because of how she spent most of her nights studying deep into the early hours of the morning. That was, of course, before she made it out to Montana and was dead asleep by ten in the evening most nights from all the hot sun and hard labour during the day. 

Lyanna started jogging when she felt and heard the soft lead pellet enter the ground over by the scanner tent. She wanted to see how the new technology worked, given that this was likely the future of archaeology and she’d need to know if she hoped to run her own digs someday.

She reached the area just in time for an image of a Velociraptor to pop up on the computer screen. Damn. She missed it. There was always next time, she supposed. 

"This new program is incredible. A few more years of development, and we won't even have to dig anymore," Danny, working at the computer said. Lyanna did not miss the tone of barely contained glee in his voice.

"I hope not," Lyanna spoke, making her presence known to the group gathered around the computer. “I only just joined this circus.” 

“Absolutely,” Alan turned around and grinned at her knowingly. “Where’s the fun in that?”

"It looks in good shape," Lyanna said, gesturing to the image on the screen and leaning in for a better look.

"Chip off the old block you are,” Alan smiled slyly, quiet pride shining through his features. “Yes, it looks about five maybe six feet high. I'm guessing about nine feet long," he reached up and accidentally touched the screen, making the image distort and flicker.

"What'd you do?" He asked Danny, pursing his lips disdainfully.

"You touched it. Dr Grant isn't machine-compatible," Ellie said with a laugh. Lyanna nudged at her shoulder and tried to contain her laughter. If there was one thing Alan hated above all else- it was technology. 

While Ellie wasn’t a blood relative, Lyanna still considered Ellie her aunt. She basically was her second mother, considering how she’d been around since Lyanna was quite young. She’d taken her on and supported Lyanna when she needed it, and was a huge source of motivation for her to finish her studies when she’d struggled and hit hiccups along the way.

"Hell, they've got it in for me," Alan added in agreement, touching the top of the makeshift dust shield over the monitor screen.

The image corrected itself and Alan continued assessing the skeleton.

"Look at this," he said, turning to the group of volunteers behind him. "It's no wonder these guys learned how to fly." The group chuckled, not seeing the similarities between the two types of skeletons. It wasn’t a popular opinion shared amongst the scientific community, but knowing Alan as she did, Lyanna knew he wasn’t likely to soon give up on proving it. 

"No seriously,” Lyanna piped up, “he's right. Do you see the pubic bone, turned backwards like a bird?" She asked, backing him up.

"It's true. Dinosaurs have more in common with modern-day birds than they do with reptiles," Alan bounced off her comment, turning to face the group. Ah, here is where they got the scientific benefits from their volunteering.

"Look at the vertebrae, full of air sacs and hollows, just like a bird's and even the word "raptor" means ‘bird of prey’." 

Lyanna could see that Alan was going to get into one of his infamous rants, and she noticed a couple of volunteers back up a step as if to wander off and do something else. 

"That doesn't look very scary. More like a six-foot turkey," they heard a kid's voice from the back of the group call out. Lyanna sighed before rubbing the sand and sweat from her forehead. This was the downside to having volunteers. She would be lying, however, if Lyanna said she didn’t laugh after seeing Alan's reaction.

"Here we go,” Ellie chuckled, knowing what was about to happen.

 

"Okay then, imagine yourself in the Cretaceous period," Alan began, walking forward and fishing out his raptor claw that he had acquired back on his first-ever dig right out of university. Lyanna could remember many days in his study when he was home between digs fiddling with it and imagining the beast that used to be connected to it. She considered it an heirloom and secretly hoped that Alan did, too. 

"You get your first look at this ‘six-foot turkey’. He moves like a bird, lightly bobbing his head.” Alan moved slowly towards the kid, Johnny, Lyanna thought his name was. “You keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like a T-Rex and he'll lose you if you don't move.” He shook his hand, imitating movement. 

"But no," he paused, "not Velociraptor. You stare at him and he just stares right back." By this point, all of the volunteers and workers were captivated by Alan's words, hasty escapes forgotten. Lyanna was too, to be honest. But then again, she’d been enraptured by Alan’s words since she’d been a tot, so it wasn’t all that different to usual.

"And that's when the attack comes," he raised his hands, bringing his two pointer fingers up side by side to show that raptors didn't hunt by themselves. "Not from the front, but from the sides. From the other two raptors you didn't even know were there," he and Lyanna both smirked. Alan stood up straight.

"Because Velociraptors are pack hunters... they use coordinated attack patterns and he attacks you with this," he raised the claw to show Johnny, whose eyes widened comically.

"A six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the middle toe," Alan placed the claw between his index and middle finger, showing him where the claw would have been situated. "He doesn't bite your jugular like a lion, no. He slashes at you here or here," he said, raking the claw along different places of the kid's torso.

"Or maybe your belly. Spilling your intestines," he then smiled, crouching down again so that his eyes were level with Johnny’s. "The point is... you are alive when they start to eat you," he grins, satisfied with the reaction he had elicited.

Even Lyanna thought he might have gone a little far. 

Johnny nods and hurries off. Alan turned and chuckled after seeing the look on Ellie's face. She didn’t look particularly impressed, but she also looked amused, so Alan must have known he wasn’t in too much trouble.

"Johnny is probably going to have nightmares now, Alan," Lyanna snorted, crossing her arms playfully. 

"There's nothing to be afraid of. They've been dead for 65 million years," he said factually. 

"It's the power of the imagination," she responded, tapping the side of his head. He smiled down at her and patted her shoulder affectionately.

The three of them started walking up the hill that separated them from the rest of the camp.

"You know, if you wanted to scare the kid you could have pulled a gun on him," Ellie laughed, pulling the brim of her bucket hat down to shield her face from the beating sun.

"Yeah, I know. I can't believe you want to have one of those," Alan replied, gesturing back towards the scanner area where the volunteers were wheeling the new equipment out of the sun.

"I don't think she wants that particular kid," Lyanna laughed, wiping another layer of sweat from her forehead.

"Exactly. I mean, a breed of child would be intriguing. What's so wrong with kids?" Ellie asked, squinting at Alan. 

"Oh Ellie... they're noisy, they're messy, they're expensive," Alan listed, trekking up the sand dune.

Ellie and Lyanna both laughed but she could see where he was coming from. Life was becoming more expensive by the day. One or two probably wouldn’t break the average person’s bank, though. 

"They smell," Alan added after a second of consideration.

"They do not smell!" Ellie laughed, shaking her head at the audacity.

"Babies smell," he reasoned, pointing an accusatory finger at her. He had her there, Lyanna supposed. 

Before Ellie could answer, there was a loud rumbling coming from the sky.

"Is that a chopper?" Lyanna asked, shielding her eyes from the bright midday sun. 

"We aren’t due for another inspection,” Alan replied just as the black machine came into view. Then he thought about it for another moment. “Are we?”

"I don't know but let's find out,” Lyanna thought out loud as the chopper started to come down towards the ground. And not on the dedicated landing strip either, she noticed.

“Oh shit,” she exclaimed suddenly, bolting into motion. “The dig!”

[katiestardoodles]

Being sick sucks balls

[the-imaginative-hobbyist]

Happy 30th to one of my favorite movies of all-time, Jurassic Park(1993).

[youssefguedira]

One of the fan casts I’ve seen a lot is Hunter Schafer as Zelda. Thoughts?

image for reference because i had to google who hunter schafer was

i could back it? she'd definitely be able to pull off like. oot or twilight princess zelda (by looks alone i haven't seen her act) really depends on what they're doing story wise. but ultimately i don't particularly care what the actor looks like as long as they are believably link or zelda to me and i just. don't think the kind of "major hollywood actors" that people toss around when talking about it could really have that effect because they're too recognisable? if that makes any sense. also a bit of a tangent but i don't know if i WANT the zelda movie to adapt an existing game or a new one, though if i had ti guess it'll adapt something connected to botw/totk and that timeline if it is in any way tied to a game because nintendo is generally trying to move away from the 'traditional' zeldas so to speak

for context this is the hypothetical cast in the article i was reading earlier:

like i respect timothee but i think seeing him as link would just make me laugh. he's a perfectly good actor i just don't vibe with this. mr. holland. can we be serious here. respect the inclusion of dev patel and steven yeun but i think this would only work in a post-oot movie that was a tragic retelling of what happens to the hero of time / an exploration of the effect of All That. which won't happen but i think they could pull it off. we're very much dependent on how old link and zelda will be but if i HAD to pick from this list i'd say aramis knight (in ms marvel) because he's not as immediately recognisable and also he's around the right age for Link That Lives In My Head

moving to the zeldas. florence pugh are you KIDDING me. again i respect her i think ms pugh is very talented. but i don't think i'd want her to play zelda. ultimately it comes down to the fact that link and zelda are almost always teenagers and i want the movie to lean into that. especially because AGAIN this won't happen but i would like an examination of the impact of being declared Saviour Of The Entire World at approximately 12-17 years old. though i guess this could also work with an adult link and zelda but that would lean towards more of a drama than a Big Action Fantasy which is what this will be. zendaya again can we be serious i don't think this would work. personally i'd go w/ kathryn newton or stephanie hsu on this list tbh. or hunter schafer i think she'd be a pretty good choice on vibes alone but ive never seen her in anything (euphoria?)

the article also included these as cast possibilities for minor characters and when i tell you some of them made me choke on my water

i respect natasha lyonne as navi because that could be funny. the others are just. really. something

sorry this answer was super long and also not coherent i should inform you that i am running on approximately 2hrs sleep today. so. but if anyone wants to further discuss zelda PLEASE do i am going through a mini phase rn

also as a second tangent. my ideal zelda plots:

skyward sword zelda during her time on the surface because you could have some REALLY good conflict between her goddess side and her human side and the way she slowly realises she has to manipulate link

zelda becoming sheik in oot!!

my roommate pointed it out the other day but i haven't been able to stop thinking about it since: majora's mask stop motion movie in the style of gdt's pinocchio. directed of course by mr Fucked Up Fairytale del toro himself

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @azurecake16

I'm imagining a panning shot of the adventuring party and everyone is suddenly jeff goldblum

text: The real Jeffs were the friends we made along the way

[the-monkeies-girl]

Imagine joking with like Malcom and the other humans and reader says "I like older men" and Malcolm's like "clearly" while point at caesar. Old man caesar we all say in unison.

YOU DID THIS TO ME I ---

It was nice to have a conversation with another Human, you thought dimly and handed Malcolm a wrench. Rusted around the edges, but it was still sturdy enough to use as he muttered a small ‘thank you’ to you. There was nothing of consequence to be said, other Humans liked to shoot the breeze. Apes… Not as much, you smiled at that. They took things in stride, surely, but the idea of small talk was not well established and most conversations were of substance and had deeper meaning.

The topic on the docket today as you helped Humanity out in a good deed set by the King of Apes himself, setting you to assist in getting the power back at the Dam so they could leave and never return, was the concept of actors. Primarily the ones you liked, having cringed a few times at Malcolm’s favorite choice, understanding and leaning more into Ellie when she began pestering about how much of a looker that Jeff Goldblum had been. Malcolm’s face contorted in confusion, “Really? Outta any guy out there,” He scoffed at his wife and it left her smiling towards you with a mild flushing and a roll of the eyes, “You pick that goofy lookin’ dude?” “We like funny guys.” You commented hap-hazardly, grateful on the inside that nothing you were saying was being analyzed into oblivion by the Apes carrying rocks behind you, out from the bellows of the Earth and teetering upwards to sit on the Sun. You thought about that briefly, how even now in the more primitive nature of the Apes, they were still able to metaphorically move mountains and level plains. 

“The funnier the better.” Ellie noted, looking back at Alexander as he pulled her attention away. Malcolm nodded and processed that, letting his gaze fall back on the great King himself for a split second as he bargained a bit before drawing his eyes back to yours, “Funny?” “Funny.” Grinning down at your hands, the heat hit your cheeks and suddenly the chill that was brought against your spine was gone and replaced with static sitting uncomfortably, but not unwelcomed by any means, against your tailbone. You shuffled your feet stagnantly in your crouched position, resting your fingertips on the ground momentarily so as to not lose your balance and fall down the small flight of stairs behind you. 

His gaze said it all, you knew, he knew as he nodded again in acceptance, this time with a wry chuckle and a small sarcastic ‘Never would have thought.’

“Let me guess,” Malcolm said clearly this time and squinted his eyes to focus on a particular yellow wire, used you assumed, to plug into the dashboard to get the power flowing freely, “You like them hairy?”

“Nah,” Joking, you could feel the density of Caesar’s fur on your fingertips at the mere idea hitting your mind. So hard on the surface, but once you dug deeper in, it became soft to touch and you yearned to grasp it and yank hard enough to command his attention. “I like them older though.”

Wiggling your eyebrows at your fellow Human, you raised your eyes to meet the ever piercing gaze of Caesar as you finished your statement staring straight into the green embezzlement that could get you to submit without even a word, “More experienced, if you catch my drift.”

[canisalbus]

i know his shirt probably says im a pupper or something but im furiously imagining it says im a stripper because its infinitely funnier

(I've never been this close to doing an actual spit take).

No, it's a Dr Pepper ad campaign shirt, originally from the 70's.

It doesn't have any deeper meaning, I just happened to rewatch The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou earlier this week and Jeff Goldblum's character sports one while he's being held hostage by pirates, and it popped back into my mind when I was trying to come up with a silly graphic tee that Vasco might wear.

But I also fully endorse the "I'm a pupper" option.

[silverbirching]

So as some of you may know, I am... let's say an armchair-level amateur scholar of classical studies. @qqueenofhades can tell you how often she has to talk me down off the ledge of enrolling in an MFA program.

Like some of you, I was an insufferable twelve-year-old when Disney's Hercules came out, and all of my critiques of that film were down to "it doesn't do the mythology right".

Well, I've reached the point where I don't care about that shit anymore. Go nuts. Have fun with it. There are, however, some... History Tik-tok tumblr Bad Takes about Greek mythology that I have very little patience for. #Girlboss Persephone, for instance, or basically anything that insists on treating the Greek gods like people, whose behavior can be judged as more or less Problematic, rather than... symbols, archetypes, divinities.

I am happy to say that Kaos, while it obviously plays fast and loose with basically every element, captures the vibes of Olympus. The feels. Jeff Goldblum's intense, eccentric and fucking terrifying performance as Zeus, the flawless Janet McTeer as Hera, Cliff Curtis as Middle-Aged Jaded Slutty Maori Fuckboy Poseidon, David Thewlis' exhausted, depressive turn as Hades... all of it is GOLD. It has instantly become one of my new favorite adaptations. Like all good adaptations, it captures the flavor, the vibes, the FEEL of the original works.

Here's some of my other faves!

Gods Behaving Badly, by Marie Phillips - a goofy, fun little romp about the past-it and aging Gods of Olympus living together in a shitty house in London. A comedy, but it very accurately captures the essence of the vain, fickle, and usually stupid Greek Gods.

Circe, by Madeline Miller - I mean, I hope to God everyone has already read this one, Jesus Christ. Told from the first-person perspective of the Goddess-witch Circe, this book is an amazing re-imagining of one of the most maligned and studied characters in the Odyssey.

Hades 1 & 2. by Supergiant Games - I could write several thousand words about how much I love these games, which both revolve around the challenges of an immortal family that you literally cannot get away from -- and the way cycles of violence perpetuate themselves, even if the people involved CAN'T DIE. The depths of the scholarship on display there are frankly staggering, and they go DEEP into the esoterica -- Zagreus teasing Orpheus that he and Dionysus are the same person (which they almost certainly are, don't get me started on Orphism) springs to mind. Hell, the second game's protagonist is literally Melinoe. Also, Scylla is a boss fight and is the lead singer of a bratty girl group and sings a diss track about how your hair is a disaster. What's not to love.

... I do wish they hadn't made Kronos the God of Time. That shit drives me nuts. The words are cognate but not--he was an agricultural--ANYWAY.

Kaos is intense as hell, but it's fucking GREAT. And literally every frame is filled with Gays and people with different bodies and body types and various flavors of gender fuckery. It's great. Watch it.

[alatismeni-theitsa]

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/tv/2024/08/10/kaos-netflix-daring-take-on-greek-mythology-jeff-goldblum/

Theitsa it's here the trailer of the KAOS series featuring the greek gods...in modern times... As corrupt rich gangsters...

I will have a Greek Person Moment and roll my eyes at the most 'Murican depiction of our gods ever... This show is basically just another Amerkania (aka, worse than just "inaccurate" or "disrespectful"). It's gonna be full of flat, cringe USAmerican millennial writing judging from the scenes we see here, especially the last one at the table.

You can't tell which deity is which because they are all dressed like rich USAmerican humans because of course that is the latest craze in the US lately "oohh what if the gods were modern! (aka modern exactly like us in the US)" and ofc there's no Greek culture (or people??) on sight. And then you have the stupid plotline of Zeus being something like a dictator, and the girl saying "I defy the gods". Soooo edgy, sooo profound little culturally Evangelical American, now go to bed.

I can't even get angry because the whole situation is just so funny. Sorry, but at one point we need to say "This is just Very American" and not bother with it anymore because it's trash. I apologize to my USAemrican followers if that comes out too harsh but I am out of patience with what your country produces when it comes to Greek myths and I just want to point at those shows and laugh. I think I am owed that after the emotional labor of seeing Murican take after Murican take about my culture infiltrate this part of the world and be seen as the norm since I was born.

And to see the comment full of comments like "omg Jeff Goldblum is JUST like Zeus"/"This is what I imagined for the gods today"/"This is just how I wanted it"/"This is the ideal modern depiction of the Olympian pantheon" like this is gonna be a profound experience and the "Greek myth Fandom" can guarantee it's gonna be amazing because They Know So Much About Greek Mythology 😂 Western imperial brainrot fr.

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Unpredictable // Chapter Two

Ian Malcolm x Original Female Character / masterlist / read it on ao3

Chapter Summary: Alan, Ellie and Lyanna meet key investor John Hammond who has an interesting proposition for the three of them...

Unpredictable tag list: (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

When the helicopter didn't land a safe distance away from the uncovered dig, Alan, Ellie and Lyanna began to panic. Lyanna and Ellie shot off towards the dig and Alan took off to, well, take the head off the pilot, if Lyanna had to guess.

While Alan ran towards the landing chopper to get them to shut down the machine that was blowing sand all over the place and damaging the finds, Ellie and Lyanna ran to cover the historical site as fast as they could.

"Cover the site!" Lyanna all but screamed, reaching the area. She skidded to a stop, crashing painfully down onto the ground and reaching for the plastic tarp designed to weather winds and storms. The fossils may be stone, but they were easily damaged. Pain shot up her legs and she knew she’d have some very impressive bruises later on. With a quick readjustment of her positioning, she got to work.

She pulled the tarp over the fossilised bone as fast as she could with the help of some of the other volunteers. They tied it safely down to make sure it wouldn't fly off when Lyanna removed her hands. Ellie winced as sand whipped sharp as glass against her bare arms.

After the dig was secure, Lyanna stood up and strode over towards Alan and Ellie's RV, angry as she’d ever been. Landing so close to a valuable dig like this one- she could understand if it were an emergency, but as far as she knew, no one had called for emergency services.

By the same token, however, Lyanna knew that they didn't get all that many visitors this far out of town, particularly in the dead of Summer as it was right now, so whoever it was and whatever they wanted, it had to be either incredibly good or incredibly bad.

She practically jumped up the few sand-worn steps and all but yanked the door off its hinges in her haste to get inside and get to the bottom of what was actually going on here. Frustration coloured her cheeks, and there was sand in her eye that she couldn't rub out because the rest of her was also, surprise surprise, covered in sand, too.

"Alright. Who's the stupid fuck who-" Lyanna was cut off by her uncle who raised his hand in alarm, silently telling her to shut up. Lyanna clenched her jaw but did as she was told, glaring daggers. She'd definitely grown up with her mothers' temper.

"Ah, this is Lyanna Grant, my niece and one of our best," Alan said hastily, clapping a hand on her shoulder to knock her out of her stupor. Lyanna forced herself to wipe her angered expression from her face and pressed her lips into a tight smile.

"Lyanna, this is John Hammond," he said with an edge to his voice that stressed that Lyanna needed to be nice to the man before him. Lyanna had to think for a minute to figure out why that name sounded so familiar to her. 

"Oh,” she said, realising who the elderly man was. "Oh my god, I am so sorry about how I behaved just now," she apologised profusely, doing her best to dust off her hand on her jean shorts before shaking his own. An embarrassed flush appeared over her cheeks, forced smile turning awfully sheepish but no one was able to tell through the dust and grime coating her skin.

John Hammond was one of the main funders of their digs. He paid fifty thousand dollars a year to keep Alan’s projects from becoming bankrupt and essentially abandoned. No one said archaeology was an abounding field, unfortunately. Digs needed investors, and investors needed money.

Lyanna noticed that the old man had opened the bottle of champagne that the three of them had been saving and she frowned, though quickly covered it back up with a bashful expression. Given that he was currently funding their careers, she supposed he was entitled enough to their celebratory bottles if he wanted them. 

"Would you like a drink?" He asked her, raising the bottle and smiling. Without waiting for an answer, John fussed around the kitchen, getting Lyanna a glass of the sparkling liquid. She took in his appearance. He was wearing mostly white which she thought wasn’t such a good idea in the dusty Badlands. It would only take about five minutes before his pristine clothes were a sandy yellow. But that wasn’t her business, and she doubted a man like him would want to stay long enough to get his hands dirty anyway. Not that Lyanna would complain. Who liked having their bosses boss around?

"I'm sorry about the dramatic entrance," John apologised, interrupting Lyanna’s thoughts and handing her the glass, "but we were in a rush." Lyanna set her jaw. In such a rush they couldn’t land on the designated landing strip, it would seem. Then again, he paid for the circus so she supposed it was his prerogative to damage the lions if he wanted to.

"I've read your book, Lyanna. It was very thorough and informative," Hammond continued without waiting for a reply, lifting a finger from his glass to point at her.

"I aim to please," she smiled, unsure of where he was going with this, but still honoured to know he’d put the effort in to read her work. Always good to meet a fan, as they say.

"Yes, well, let's get right down to business," he paused, taking another sip from his glass. Behind her, Lyanna saw a flash of Ellie's blonde hair. She hadn't realised that she had joined them inside. Perhaps she'd only just got there.

"I like you. All of you," he paused to look at the three of them individually.

"I own an island off the coast of Costa Rica. I've leased it from the government and during the last five years, I've been setting up a biological preserve of sorts. Really spectacular. Spared no expense," he smiled wide, showing them his yellowing teeth. Lyanna fought the urge to squint suspiciously at the man. This was great and all, but if he wanted them to know about his new island, he could have sent an email. 

"It makes the one I've got down in Kenya look like a petting zoo. And there's no doubt that our attractions will drive kids out of their minds," he exclaimed excitedly, not taking pause to note their hesitantly curious expressions.

"What are those?" Alan asked, resting his hand on his knee.

"Small versions of adults, honey." Ellie sarcastically whispered to him in answer. Alan gave her a look before turning back to John. 

"We're planning to open next year but that's if the lawyers don't kill me first," John chuckled, rambling on. "I've got a particular one at the moment who's being a thorn in my side. He represents my investors. He says we need outside opinions," John shook his head irritably.

 

"What kind of opinions?" Lyanna asked, crossing her arms and taking a sip of her drink, becoming more interested in the old man's rambling by the second. What could any of this possibly have to do with their dig?

"Well, your kind, not to put too fine a point on it," he shifted his weight and took another sip, swallowing before he continued. "Let's face it, in your particular fields, you are the top minds- and if I could just persuade you to sign off on the park, give it your endorsement..." he trailed off for suspense.

"I could get back on schedule," he finished, eyes flashing between the three dusty scientists before him. 

"Why would they care what we think?" Ellie spoke up. At that, Lyanna raised her eyebrow. It was a fair question. Was it some sort of reptile zoo? Or a fancy museum? But then why would either of those need to be on their own secluded island?

"Yeah, what kind of park is this?" Alan added. They were both good questions. Ones that Lyanna had been wondering herself.

"It's right up your alley," John said conspiratorially, a knowing smile growing across his cheeks. That piqued Lyanna’s interest. Up their alley? They were palaeontologists... up their alley were dusty bones and fossilised remains... Maybe it was a museum then.

"Tell you what. Why don't the three of you come down for the weekend? I'd love to have the opinion of an extra palaeontologist as well," he said, gesturing to the three of us.

"I've got a jet standing by at Chateau," he explained, jumping onto the bench behind him and pouring himself another glass once he was seated.

"I don't know. I mean, we just dug up a new skeleton..." Alan trailed off, understandably hesitant. On top of that, they had only just met the man in person as well.

"I'd fully compensate you by fully funding your dig..."

"This is a very unusual time too..." Ellie added, looking justifiably unsure.

"For a further three years," John finished.

Lyanna turned to Ellie and Alan and seeing the hesitant but excited looks on their faces, she knew that Hammond had won them over. Money was an extremely powerful persuasion tool. And archaeology digs were expensive. Soon enough they were bound to run out of fresh-faced volunteers looking for a fun time. 

They began to jump and laugh excitedly. Ellie turned and gestured for Lyanna to join them.

"Oh no. I'm not the hugging type," Lyanna tried to reason, the infectious joy eating away at her resolve. Ellie didn't listen though and brought the both of them to Lyanna who chuckled and joined the group hug.

After the excitement dissipated, Lyanna escaped the tight hold that the two of them had on her and turned back to Hammond, who was grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"When's the plane leave?" she grinned right back.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

ok here i go full hc prompt🥳🤩🤩

m6 in the ✨✋Future🤚✨ or at least to them, relatively, from their medievaissance-y mixed bag nonspecified time period to something resembling our times! i personally like to consider it still Their World, fictional, which just progressed to look like ours now (it literally makes zero difference to anybody except the inner machinations of my annoying ass but yeah ifykyk) basically yknow shooting a medieval peasant into 2023 & giving him mountain dew type beat

The Arcana HCs: M6 in the Future

~ @tetsuooooooooooo this was so much fun, thank you for sending it in and I hope you enjoy these!! ~

-- for headcanon purposes, MC is from the future and is tasked with taking care of M6 during their 24 hours there --

Julian

It takes him less than two minutes to figure out where (read: when) he is and his response is nothing short of enthusiastic

Please, he's been around the world, and he's got a delightful guide, and he really, really wants to know if his theories about leeches ended up being correct

He actually gets a little emotional when a quick google search shows him how wrong he was and you end up having to take him exploring to cheer him up and distract him from his failures

You have a really hard time explaining to him that clinics don't allow doctors without medical degrees to waltz in and observe random patients getting treatments

You take him to see a movie and he's transfixed

The screen is so big. The actor's faces are so clear. The drama is so much more than anything he could have imagined. And they come with music?? Hums the soundtrack for the rest of the day

If you show him that one version of Jurassic Park with Jeff Goldblum in it Julian will imitate him sporadically afterwards

Enjoys fast food way more than he should. Especially instant noodles. Will spend half an hour trying to pack some to take back

Fascinated by the concept of typing

You hit a button to make the next letter appear instead of writing it? But MC, this means that everything he wants to communicate through text could be easily readable. Imagine!

Freaks out a bit when you try to take him in a car. He's surprisingly comfortable in a metro, though, so you'll have to do with public transportation and bicycles

Oh yeah, he loves bicycles. He only crashed into three trees, a wall, and a stranger's parked car before getting the hang of it

He's convinced that earbuds don't actually play music, they just trick your brain into thinking that you can hear it

Almost exploded when you gave him coldbrew coffee

Asra

They know instantly that they're in a different version of reality. Sure, they've never traveled through time, but they've traveled through plenty of other dimensions

He's the least ruffled, and unfortunately, the least impressed. Don't get him wrong, this looks super cool, but this isn't any more otherworldly to him than the otherworldly places he's already been

Wants to go on a food tour immediately. Not the nice stuff though

No, they want the questionable food. The is-this-going-to-make-me-regret-existing food. The food that, if it was shown in an anime, would be pixelated and have threatening auras around it

So chill about what you tell him to do it's almost concerning

"Here Asra, climb into this four-wheeled hunk of metal that can travel over 100 miles an hour and hold yourself in with a single fabric strap while I pilot this through hundreds of other things just like it, driven by people we don't know and can't predict."

"Cool. Where do I put Faust?"

Don't tell them about edibles unless you want them to spend their day hunting some down and absolutely going to town on them

You swear you saw his hair stand on end the first time he tried popping candy

When you took them to get their radioactive meal (a.k.a. the closest fast food chain with the fewest ethical violations) they insisted on picking up one of every sauce packet to try them all

... and when he saw a nine-year-old mixing two different fountain drinks, he of course grabbed the largest cup available and went down the line so he could taste all of them at once too

You've never seen them this jittery and sugar high, so of course the next place to go is a trampoline park, with the bright lights and loud music and bodies hurtling through the air

He should not be getting the amount of air time that he does

Has a meltdown over modern fluffy blankets. They're so soft

Nadia

Gobsmacked. As in, she's a highly intelligent woman, and therefore able to really wrap her head around what she's seeing

The future!! She's in the future, Arcana help her

But she's got you and she adores you and she knows she can trust you so she's going to be okay. That said, start explaining. Now.

First things first: how's the infrastructure? She can't see any canals or aqueducts. Or fireplaces or lanterns, for that matter, what do you do for light? And cooking? (Cooking uses fire, right?)

Literally cannot walk past anything new without stopping to try to figure out how it works and if there's a way to recreate it herself

Bicycles on a rack? She's spinning the pedal and trying to figure out the balancing dynamics of two-wheeled movement

Almost lost it when she found out that it was possible to lift the hood of a car and look at the engine inside that makes it go. You decided to take her on public transportation instead

Which turned into all kinds of excited brainstorming about public carriages, and gondolas built for 20 people ferrying people along the aqueducts, and new and terrifying uses for the catacombs

Wasn't very impressed with the fashion she saw

She knows what good quality cloth looks like. This is a women who grew up in silks and fine linens, polyester does not impress her

Except for the stretchiness. She does like that

The perfume counter, on the other hand, takes up a good hour and a half of her time. She's smelled plenty of fine scents before, but she's never been in a shop where she could sniff so many at a time

This one smells like Prakra. This one smells like Vesuvia. This one smells like the beach. This one smells like the woods. This one ...

Yeah, it was an excellent opportunity to take a nap, if you're the napping sort. You wake up to her testing perfumes on you because she ran out of space on herself

Gets so frustrated when you explain your government setup to her

Muriel

Oh no, please be very gentle with him

He likes to live in the woods because it is peaceful and quiet and it's one place he doesn't stand out in

He stands out in this place very, very much and he doesn't like it

Refuses to leave the room he appeared in until his appearance is as unremarkable as possible (which is not easy to do, by the way, the man is a mountain. modern clothes in his size are hard to find)

Does not want to go in the car. It's way too fast and it makes him seasick when he closes his eyes to shut it out

Buses are somehow easiest - they feel the least claustrophobic when they're not crowded and it's rude to stare on them

You two end up going to a natural history museum in the middle of a weekday when hardly anybody is there, and he lights up

There are so many animals, and there are enough other people in the world who find those animals interesting that they gathered so much knowledge people had to make a building to hold it all

Has never heard evolutionary theory before and is fascinated by it

Once he starts talking, it's hard for him to stop

He's not being loud at all - you can only hear him so clearly because you two are holding hands so he can't lose you - but he's being quietly submerged in his own special interest and he loves it

He just wishes there weren't so many skeletons. But he's glad the species they belonged to aren't forgotten this way

Long story short, Muriel's inner Nerd is unleashed and he goes hoarse from the amount of murmuring he does all day

Does not like getting food in public. Does not like eating food in public. Does not like being publicly perceived. As soon as it gets into afternoon and it gets busy, he wants to go home

Which is where you show him what the internet is and he's in awe

People can work from home? People can make friends without leaving their house?? People can talk without being seen???

Portia

Spends five minutes hopping in place and squealing into her clothes to let out her nerves and excitement before you can decide what to do

Then insists on taking half an hour to hear you describe every single fun or interesting thing to do so she can make a list

Yes, she's determined to hit every single one in one day

First things first: food. Take her to a cafe and watch her sigh over all the baked goods and sugar-loaded caffeine beverages

Then (if there is one nearby) a mall, so she can see all the stuff that people buy so they can have the lifestyle they do. You have to drag her out of both Bath & Body Words and Bed, Bath, & Beyond

Please, it's full of fluffy fuzzy things and good smelling mystery goo, she wants to live in it also what do you mean "no stopping at the pet store", what even is a "pet store" -

Oh. OH -

You will have to physically pull her away before she adopts all the kittens. She does cry about it later, just a for a bit, they're so cute

Next is a library and cafe, of course, because she lives for books

This place is way bigger than the Palace library! The one in the Palace is just a large room, this is a whole building!! And people get to come here, whenever they want, just to read, for free?! What?!

You had to remind her about the "no loud noises in the library" rule several times. She's doing her best, she's just passionate

Completely demolishes her first chocolate croissant

Goes feral at the amusement park she has you take her to afterwards. This woman is an adrenaline fiend. You're cursing the pop up add for it by the fourth consecutive free fall ride

The only way to get her to leave is to tell her that one of her favorite stories was turned into a movie and that you'd have to go home to watch it. Don't take her to Target to get snacks. She'll disappear

Flicks the lightswitch 30 times in a row because she can

Lucio

He's immediately panicking. Not because he's in the future, no, but because of what it's done to his arm

It's changed. It's not running on magic any more. The only way to resolve his design is for it to be some kind of high-tech electrical prosthetic that even modern scientists would have difficulty with

Once he's adjusted to using it, you're good to go

Lights up like a firework the first time he rides in a car

MC. MC how fast does it go. MC that's a very high number. MC, he wants to drive. Please. Please! Pleeeaaaassssseeee

DO NOT LET HIM DRIVE.

Makes you pull over after seeing ads for Sephora because he's convinced that he could pull off that eye makeup even better

Tries every single makeup sampler and then gets offended when one of the poor employees suggests an anti-aging cream

Him? Aged?? How dare they - oh wait that really does brighten his eyes. He'll take ten, please, they're so small, they can't cost much -

You'll have to pull him out before he sees you use a credit card, because once he does he's going to keep asking to use it and you're not sure he understands why maxing it out is a bad thing

His arm does run out of battery at one point, which does cause some panic. All of a sudden he's stuck with a limp hunk of metal swinging from his shoulder, it's not ideal

You're able to find the retractable charging cable on the side and plug him in, but then he's stuck sitting in the same spot for two hours and a bored Lucio is a dangerous Lucio

There is a solution to this, of course. You can give him an iPad with games on it. He won't move a muscle after that

The caveat is that he will turn into an iPad kid and get glued to every single screen he sees afterwards. You don't know how to fix it

Falls in love with vending machines and tries Cheetos because the leopard on them looks cool. Develops an artificial cheese addiction

[stuckasmain]

Imagine Jeff goldblum plays a role in a movie adaptation of your book and he makes the character so popular you have to bring them back from the dead for a sequel novel.

This shouldn’t be as funny as it is to me but jdkskskdkdk no I love when a character gets so popular a author has to go back and write “my death was greatly exaggerated”