#Jonny would have just been a small part of the comic

[torra-and-the-toons]

Oh my god, I never shared this...

I was intending to make an eene x knd crossover comic with this that would have theoretically taken place directly after the B&M crossover (since the Eds technically did appear) but my motivation to do so fell flat on its ass...

I was going to make Jonny and Plank secret KND members because I thought it'd be fun, and like, his Captain Melonhead persona was his KND alter ego, he already has a secret tree-house base with a bunch of tech, I thought it fit rather well.

Maybe one day I'll think about making it again... who knows. It's a lot of work to make comics for someone with so little free time. 😞

(Also I'll give you a quarter if you can figure out why I assigned Jonny the Numbuh 4031 🤭)

[owmylasagna-blog]

let's gooooooo

1, 9, 10, 18, 19, 21

Thank youuu D2 (:

1. the character everyone gets wrong

10 years ago I’d probably say Edd and Kevin because of the kevedd craze. They were so anime trope-ified that the ship is essentially its own AU now. Thankfully seeing less and less of that nowadays, though one that bugs me are folks making Kevin too nice. I just think he is a pretty privileged jerk character which works for the humor of the show (let’s be real, all the kids are jerks and have their cruel moments). I guess I don’t see Kevin really growing out of that? And the way he treats Nazz in BPS? Very telling.

Bonus: when people draw Eddy skinny! It’s wrong. I won’t stand for it.

9. worst part of canon

Yeah I’ve got to echo @fish-bowl-2 on this - the way the Kankers harass the Eds.

I also had this fleeting conspiracy brewing that Jonny, IF coded as Black, uhhhh sort of perpetuates some problematic racist tropes. I don’t know how well it holds water but also I’ve never seen anyone analyze that/ confirm his race so ??

10. worst part of fanon

Jeez I don’t know the fandom is really small right now, I’m kinda drawing a blank. I guess infighting, people getting really miffed when someone’s HC goes against their own. Like, relax, will ya! It’s a CARTOON. From CANADA.

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

Ed being queer/ not cisgendered. Every time someone HCs Ed as straight I just 🤨 dude tried kissing both his friends. I also saw a comic that was a FTM Edd HC but Ed said something like “the aliens in my comics don’t have gender” and like I’m NB Ed truther because they would.

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

My obsession with my shitty adult AU? Ha HA… Anyway. Im sort of ashamed of how obsessed I am with the show period. There aren’t really any people irl who I get to obsess over it with so uh hey tumblr people

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

Jawbreakers. I remember buying a jawbreaker as a kid once and it was horrid. Worst candy.

[owlixx]

Comics I Read Yesterday

Moon Knight ‘16-‘18

So, Marvel Unlimited is weird. They count 3 very distinct runs here as one big run. The ‘16 Lemire run was pretty fun because the tv show clearly rips it off but the comic is of course way better. But then yesterday I finally got through to the end of the ‘17 Bemis run about fighting Amon Ra/Sun King which was fine, I guess, but not on the same level. And then that turned into the ‘18 Bemis run which started by revealing an insane version of how Marc Spector developed his split personalities that seemed a little over the top edgy to me, so I put it down.

In the end, I like Moon Knight. He’s cool. But now I know to be a bit more skeptical of Marvel Unlimited’s comic issue collections and just put a series down if it suddenly changes art style and writing style in a direction I don’t like. And I also wanted to put this down so I could get cracking on the long list of good, short series ahead of me.

Contest of Champions ‘82

This was just kind of a silly, fun one. Very early crossover, of course. Only 3 issue. It was apparently supposed to be a tie-in for the Olympics until the US pulled out in ‘80. That explains the focus on now-obscure international and why they must compete “at all four corners of the Earth”. Very simple, very straightforward. Not a ton of questioning the nature of the competition or nitty gritty about the rules, just some toe-dipping into “hey wouldn’t it be neat if X met Y”. It is very funny to see these all-powerful deities drafting for their team and leaving out Hulk/Thor so they can instead take “Le Peregrine” or whoever so more countries can be included. And the contest itself is so silly - just lay hands on a golden object that’s…nearby. Easy read since it’s so short, but so funny that there’s a sequel and a whole phone game based on this and that it’s really the template for a lot of these crossovers.

Secret Wars ‘84

This one I was much more looking forward to. I love Symbiote Spider-Man, although we really just get the design and origin here. Overall this was a lot of fun, much more fleshed out than Contest of Champions. I really liked the dynamic of villains vs heroes vs xmen vs galactic. I also liked that they didn’t just play the game here, and instead Doom tried to break the rules. Also I just generally like Doom and he was pretty cool in this one. I think I had only ever read the last issue as a kid since my dad owned it physically so it was nice to finally make sense of how Cap broke his shield, plus the general events leading up to the finale. I also really liked when they were stuck under the mountain and all combined tech and powers to soup up Iron Man for one big laser. I think the weakest part of this was the weird Jonny Storm/Colossus love triangle with the local alien healer woman. It was funny also though how the villains included respectable names such as Doom, Galactus, Kang, Doc Ock, Lizard, but then also people like Absorbing Man and Wrecking Ball who have really faded into obscurity. Also fun to see what seemed like the origin of Titania! Surely her backstory has been retconned to not be “in the 80s, a chunk of Denver was pulled into a planet arena and Doom gave magic powers to two random women off the street”. Also cool to see Rhodey in the Iron Man suit and Monica Rambeau Captain Marvel! Certain unsavory folk would have you believe that such characters only started to exist like, a year ago. Also I switched from reading on just my phone to busting out my foldable laptop and reading these in portrait mode on it. The Marvel Unlimited web interface is a nightmare, so it’s best used in tandem with the app, but it’s fine once you’re actually inside the comic you want and boy does it look good on a larger-than-life screen.

Kitty Pryde and Wolverine ‘84

This one was a lot of fun! Seems like this is where the name Shadowcat comes from as far as I can tell? I really liked how small-scale and personal this was, especially coming off the heels of Secret Wars. I would imagine that at the time, this kind of intimate, personal story was a little less common, but that’s just me guessing. I genuinely wasn’t sure how this was going to go, which is a lot of fun. I do always think there’s something kind of inherently funny about Wolverine being a weeaboo, but it’s not a problem or anything.

[therefugeofbooks]

I read so many amazing books in September! It was a bit difficult to choose my favorites of the month. Also, I think I always go for comics and manga when I'm close to a reading slump or just in a weird mood, and I had my fair share of them in September.

Talking about all the books I read in September under the cut.

In reading order:

Oh! My Assistant by Mila with Aengmon

I have been reading this for a while and only finished it now on tapas. It's a cute and lighthearted romance with some smut scenes, and I loved it!

Read if you want: lighthearted and funny romance with some smut scenes.

The Black Flamingo by Dean Atta

The story is beautiful, and the writing style is also beautiful! I loved the theme of drag, and the sense of belonging the main character finds in the drag society!

Read if you want: a coming-of-age novel, a verse novel, exploration of identity, the power of drag.

The Hole by Hye-Young Pyun with Sora Kim-Russell (Translator)

The Hole is a very slow-paced story, but just like other Asian horror and psychological thrillers, it builds a very suffocating atmosphere. I think this is not for everyone, but the ending was totally worth it!

Read if you want: slow-paced psychological thrillers.

The Dead and the Dark by Courtney Gould

I didn't know much about this book, and it was an amazing read! The atmosphere is spooky, and the romance is cute, and the big reveal was surprising!

Read if you want: small-town drama, dark atmosphere, sapphic couple, ya horror.

The Bombay Prince by Sujata Massey

I loved the main character, Perveen Mistry, and the atmosphere the book creates! The mystery is engaging and I enjoyed the overall experience!I hope to read more of this author soon!

Read if you want: cozy mysteries, historical mystery, strong women main characters, books set in India.

Fifteen Hundred Miles From The Sun by Jonny Garza Villa

This story deals with some heavy topics, but it is also full of platonic and romantic love. I enjoyed the long-distance relationship, the close group of friends, and how the main character navigates his Mexican American identity.

Read if you want: mlm ya, distance relationships, found family.

The Tea Dragon Society #1 by K. O'Neill

I think this comic is one of my favorite comics now! I love the art style so much! And the story is so heartwarming! The story has little conflict, so it has a very slice-of-life vibe. The relationships are the cutest! And everything just warmed my heart!!!

Read if you want: slice-of-life comics, focus on relationships, magical atmosphere.

The Tea Dragon Festival by K. O'Neill

I fell in love with The Tea Dragon Society, and this story is also fluffy and full of the cute magical atmosphere from the first one. The first story is still my favorite, but this one is lovely as well.

Read if you want: dragons!!, slice-of-life comics, focus on relationships, magical atmosphere.

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun

I thought this book would be more of a rom-com because of the reality show theme. And there're some funny scenes, but it focuses on both main characters' mental health issues. However, I loved their main couple and the reality show background! There're many sweet scenes, and the ending is straight-out from a cheesy reality show. I also loved the ace rep!

Read if you want: mlm adult romance, focus on mental health, behind the scenes of reality show tv.

Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe with Phoebe Kobabe

I enjoyed this memoir a lot! It reminded me a lot of Fun House. My favorite part was the childhood and teenage years. Also, it was nice that I could relate to some of Kobabe's feelings navigating their asexuality. I need more ace protagonists!

Read if you want: something like Fun House, LGBTQIA+ memoirs.

My Heart Is a Chainsaw by Stephen Graham Jones

So many feelings about this book! I liked the main character for most of the book and her inner conflicts, but sometimes she was a bit too much. Nevertheless, this book is an ode to slasher movies and I liked the mega-story aspects!

Read if you want: old slasher movies vibes, very unreliable narrators, small-town drama.

One Of Us Is Lying by Karen M. McManus (x) (x)

I can see the appeal of this book! It's engaging, and I was interested in the mystery and wanted to know what happened! However, I didn't like the characters, and the ending was so anti-climatic!

The Inheritance of Orquídea Divina by Zoraida Córdova

I think I'm into family sagas lately, and this is an amazing one! Orquídea Divina's story and the magical realism are fascinating. The characters are so interesting, and the adventure they go to understand their matriarch, their family's history, and their powers is beautiful!

Read if you want: family sagas and magical realism.

Princess Princess Ever After by K. O'Neill

What a sweet story! I'm in love with O'Neil's art style, and I'll probably read everything by them if I can! I loved the princess saving a princess from the tower! And the ending is the cutest possible!

Read if you want: sweet wlw story, quick graphic novel, cute art style.

Mad, Bad & Dangerous To Know by Samira Ahmed

This was so good! The main character goes on an adventure trying to uncover the story of a forgotten historical woman tied to famous writers. I loved how the main character's story and the one she's trying to uncover intertwine, and how the main character tries so hard to put on a spotlight in this hidden figure. The mystery is interesting, and the message is so powerful!

Read if you want: modern mysteries dealing with historical topics, strong historical women, mysteries about art and literature.

Reread

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz (x)

The Girl from the Other Side Vol. 1 by Nagabe (x)

Disponível em PT:

A Sucessora by Carolina Nabuco (x) (x)

Vozes Trans de Vários Autores (x)

Marcas de São João em Mim by Lucas Vieira (x)

Read in: Feb | Mar | Apr | May | June | July |Aug

☆Book Photography ☆ Storygraph ☆ Scribd ☆

[mirika]

Another Dutch Comic Con weekend, the Winter edition. I went as Ladybug on Saturday and as Mimi on Sunday.

Adding links etc later!

It was a bit of a sad weekend for me for reasons I prefer not to talk about because it’ll just make me more sad, but despite the events I still had fun and I don’t think I had my friends notice much I wasn’t feeling too good. I am still glad I went and cosplayed despite my mood. I will highlight the happier things!

Day one!

On Saturday I went with my two best friends which is obviously a treat. We wandered a lot at the con shopping and I actually saw a different Miraculous holder other than the usual Chat Noir and Ladybug!

The lighting wasn’t great, but I was happy to see her and we had a little chat. She liked my custom Ladybug look which was very nice, I explained that Ladybug is always someone else over time and they wear different outfits, so it’s not that odd for me to simply be another Ladybug of another era.

She was actually the only one I made a photo with, all the other Ladybug, Chat Noir, Adrien and Marinette.. they were all cosplayers I took photos with before. On Sunday I did see different cosplayers, even someone dressed as Luka, but I wasn’t wearing my Ladybug outfit then. Bummer!

I did get a fair bit of merchandise from the artist alley. Once again... okay, listen. Jonny Cruz, voice actor of Lucio from Overwatch, was visiting Comic Con. My hopes were high: there used to be a lot of Overwatch merchanise, but they rarely sell Lucio. They MUST have got Lucio now, right? Nope. Only new Lucio merchandise I found was a charm. I was a little sad about that, because I know he’s not exactly unpopular. I do very much like the charm though! Merchandise below, Lucio charm is the one bottom left.

When you flip him over he wears the yellow outfit instead of green. 

I also have my millionth Patamon plushie. I was happy to see Digimon merchandise in the first place, but it’s always either Patamon or Agumon. I love Patamon anyway, so I bought it. The fox plushie... was pure impulse. He is extremely soft and foxes are by far my favourite animal. His name tag says his name is Fred, I wanted to name him myself, but I love Fred as well.

Those buttons are actually commissions of my Dungeons & Dragons hobbits halflings!

So button commissions are apparently a thing! And I also made another commission that I’d pick up the next day. These two ladies together were only 14 euros. If you want to know more about my girls just ask me. They are actually family, not siblings though. 

Other than that I found an artist that sold Digimon stickers. She only had a couple, so naturally I bought every single one of them.

If you wonder why some look similar, they are appparently old and new versions. I absolutely love, LOVE how the bottom Agumon turned out. Look at that fireball. Amazing. 

That already sums up Saturday, it was mostly shopping. I saw a Fire Emblem cosplay I really wanted to take a photo with, but after seeing her once, I never found her again. She was dressed as Elise, my favourite female character.

Onto;

Day two!

This day I only went with one of my two best friends. We went a little later than the day before, which is common when a whole weekend is visited. I went as Mimi from Digimon because I knew a Rosemon cosplay would be there, but I never found her. Since she was the sole reason I went as Mimi of course this was a bit of a letdown, especially after seeing all the Miraculous cosplay gathered together. I even saw a few cosplayers I hadn’t seen before. Maybe next time! I did make a photo of myself which I don’t usually do.

It’s not my best pic, but let’s be real, I was walking while I took it and still had my bag on and wasn’t in the best mood. Because it was the only photo I took, I decided to upload it. The mother of the lass who did my commission below actually thought I was wearing a wig cause when I explained I looked different yesterday she referred to probably having had a different haircut too. Not sure if that means my hair looks fake, hah. 

The commission was my goblin from World of Warcraft and I honestly think this is the best part piece I’ve gotten of her yet, and that while it was a Comic Con commission! (I say this because commissions at an event are less flexible, you cannot discuss design choices well)

Does she not look absolutely amazing? She was worth being my most expensive button, and even then I’d say it could’ve been worth more (but I would’ve less likely been able to afford it). Let me show you what else I got on the Sunday.

It’s mostly small stuff:

On the left is a sticker my friend bought me without me noticing it, not really at least. It refers to the Dungeons & Dragons bard and it suits me as in D&D version 3.5 a bard does not get damaging spells until a high level, so I always feel like all I can do is inspire my allies. Inspiring allies is strong, but it feels silly to say every turn “yeah I’m still singing.”

The two dice are d3 dice, meaning they count from 1 to 3. They are often not included in dice sets, and with often I mean always. Some skills do use them though.

The button below my goblin is a commission of my hobbit in Lord of the Rings Online. I found said artist quite late sadly since she had the most affordable ones. I had a hard time explaining what exactly I wanted, so I told her I just wanted her to be smiling.

The last button is of Miraculous Ladybug. Not a commission, just one I found. I liked it cause of the akuma (the butterfly) floating there and her hands being like that. I don’t know. I just liked it.

Other than that my friend and I mostly just finished what she had not seen yet (she left early) and then rested mostly. We visited the Q&A of Jonny Cruz (Lucio from Overwatch) and Boris Hiestand (Sigma from Overwatch). As a Lucio main I was mostly there for Jonny, but it was a fun Q&A altogether. What was also fun was what came after the Q&A: they would play the game against each others and fans from the audience would have to carry them.

Jonny lost all three matches, but I am confident that’s because I think the poor lad does not realise he can heal... erm, let me explain. Lucio has two modes: heal mode and speed mode. Speed mode is actually not used much in combat. What did Jonny do? He left speed mode on fulltime, leaving his team with only one healer instead of two. I lowkey wished I was on stage to tell him he needs to hit Shift to heal, but I purposefully did not participate because I am a below decent player. At least now I know I at least play Lucio better than Lucio himself, haha. Boris was actually quite alright as his character, Sigma!

Some images I took.

It’s a shame I kind-of forgot the contents of the Q&A other than them saying each other’s voice lines in their own character’s voice, them trying to imitate the cowboy character (I always forget his name, needless to say I never play him), Boris actually killed it at that, Jonny not so much, haha. They also got Jonny to say “boop” and of course “can’t stop won’t stop” (which he referred to as his favourite quote at the time) and Boris of course talked about stroopwafels being lekker. He also said he wasn’t overly fond of a fan-favourite quote of Sigma because it opposes his own point of view, but he does understand where the liking comes from. 

I also tried to take a photo during the match, but didn’t realise how silly I was holding my phone.

Both Jonny and Boris had some serious game faces on.

After the event my friend and I went to the Dunkin’ Donuts since we don’t have one in our town, grabbed a batch and left for the train.

All-in-all I had a good event despite events that aren’t mentioned. I really hope to see Rosemon next time though, I really was on the lookout for her. I actually just remembered I saw a group of Once Upon A Time cosplayers as well that I wanted to take a photo with... dang.

--- WDCC 2019 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) / Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2019 - no report, little happened

DCC 2019 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) / Mimi (Digimon) DCC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) ACC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) DCC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) RCC 2018 - Mimi (Digimon) WDCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) DCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) RCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2016 - Hook (Once Upon A Time) DCC 2016 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) DCC 2015 - Sunday - Hobbit (Lord of the Rings) DCC 2015 - Saturday - Ellie (The Last of Us)

I have been to Elfia in 2015, but I cannot find this post. I was Donna Noble and I actually had a really bad day, which is why I have never returned to Elfia.

[belleterrecountryclub]

Can Meditation Make You A Better Golfer?

An experiment with three golfers revealed the practice can make a difference. Just not the one you might expect

By Sam Weinman

few months ago Golf Digest set out to answer a question almost as old as the game itself: does alcohol make you play better, or worse? The experiment and resulting video with three too-eager participants, was illuminating, comical, and fairly conclusive: a little bit of “swing oil” has some residual benefits owing to a decrease in tension and inhibition. Too much, however, leads to deteriorating focus and coordination, and then you just stop caring about advancing the ball at all. A subsequent experiment with marijuana yielded similar results: some weed might take the edge off and loosen up your swing, but anything more than a little becomes counterproductive.

That brings us to our recent experiment exploring the effects of meditation, structured like the first two, but also plenty unique. Here, too, we submitted three golfers of varying playing ability to a series of golf tests while interspersing the influence of an outside element—beers and tokes became 15 minutes of meditation. The difference is that while meditation does induce some immediate physiological effects and boasts several long-term health benefits, we’re still talking about a rather nuanced exercise that is difficult to quantify. And if you really wanted to measure it well, best to do it over a few months instead of a couple of hours. Still, a few hours is what we started with one day this summer, and I, along with colleagues Keely Levins and Ben Walton, was selected as one of three golfers who would spend the day hitting golf shots and meditating to see what type of difference we’d see. Although Keely and Ben had limited experience with meditation, I’d recently begun dabbling in no small part because mindfulness, as it’s also known, has been hailed as perhaps the best way to temper the freneticism of our modern lives. And no doubt I was a worthy candidate: a digital editor who spends his days tethered to one electronic device or another, a father of two high-energy boys, and someone who can overthink everything from family dynamics to what club to hit off the tee. As I said in the video, I first told my wife that I thought meditation would help because, “I run pretty hot during the day.” “No,” she corrected me. “You run hot all the time.”

So in terms of how a few minutes of meditation a day can calm the mind and harness focus, I was already sold. What I hadn’t explored, and what we sought to discover that day, was how it might affect one’s performance on the golf course. Plus, we saw it as an opportunity to debunk misconceptions about meditation — what exactly it is, what you do, and why it might mesh well with the mental and emotional demands of golf.

The day was broken into segments of three different golf challenges—driving for distance, approach shot accuracy, and putting—followed by brief sessions with meditation teacher Jonni Pollard. Pollard is the founder of a meditation app, 1 Giant Mind, and a personal mentor to a roster of clients that includes corporate executives and professional golfers. With a clean-shaven head, an Australian accent, and an affable manner, he spent the day convincing us of the ways meditation can not only help us think clearer on the golf course, but at work and home as well.

Among Pollard’s central arguments is that for all our technological progress, the human body has remained virtually unchanged from man’s earliest days fending off regular physical threats, which is why we process stress the same whether it’s an unpleasant email or a bear attack. This disconnect between how we live now, and the biological constraints of our bodies and brains, can explain why we often feel scattered so much of the time, and why even the mundane stresses of everyday life can elicit profound physical reactions.

“This is the little glitch in our system,” Pollard said. “We are entrenched in a dysfunctional state of defensive living because the way we’re living now is so far removed from how we’ve biologically evolved.”

What does this have to do with our ability to hit a drive in the fairway? Plenty, actually, because the same forces that leave us feeling frequently disjointed also factor into our performance on the course.

Almost every golfer has to negotiate the chasm between the shots he’s capable of producing, and the those he actually hits. We’re too quick, we’re too distracted, we’re worried about the pond on the left—when the result falls short of our potential, it often emanates from somewhere between the ears. By contrast think about the time you mindlessly hit a shot on the range and it soars perfectly off the clubface; or when you rake in a conceded putt from afar without even trying, and it rolls straight into the hole. It’s precisely because you “weren’t thinking” that it worked out so well.

This, Pollard said, this is where meditation can make a difference.

“What it does is it hits factory restart and restores our natural capability,” Pollard said. “Our natural capability is there and we need to allow it to be there, so what is the thing that’s inhibiting it? From my perspective it’s the hyper stimulation of the thinking mind.”

Which is not to say that each meditation session sets you on a path to a truer golf swing. Not exactly at least. As the afternoon unfolded, my driver carry improved, but my approach shots were looser, and my putting stayed about the same. To think of meditation as some type of performance enhancer in deep-breathing form is to misinterpret the underlying machinations at work. As Pollard said, when you meditate for 20 minutes, focusing on your breath or a mantra and allowing outside elements to recede into the background, it’s similar to doing a set of bench presses at the gym. The act itself may make you stronger, but it’s really repetition and time that allows the effects to take hold

“The conversations I like to have when talking about meditation is one, it’s really wonderful to alleviate short term the symptoms of stress,” Pollard says. “But also it creates the internal infrastructure for us to be able to become resilient in this life, rather than feel like life is taxing you.”

Beyond technical improvement, what we really detected was an underlying sense of calm, noteworthy on what could have been a stressful day. Although Keely played college golf, Ben and I were not used to the strain of having every shot measured so precisely. Throw a handful of cameras and a crew of about 10 into the equation, and under normal circumstances I’d question if I could even draw the club back. But after each session with Pollard we began to mind the attention less, and distractions subsided. “It became easier to be over the shot,” said Keely. “I had this odd sense of detachment to where it was going, like I didn’t want to look at the result. Not every shot was great, but there was some freedom and ease in not feeling painfully invested in how straight my drives were flying.”

This is what Pollard means when he describes the “infrastructure” meditation helps construct. Scientific studies of meditation have shown that the practice strengthens the pre-frontal cortex portion of the brain responsible for concentration, focus and problem solving while shrinking the amygdala section that triggers our panicky “fight or flight” response. So even though I didn’t hit the ball markedly better that day, the ingredients were all there to do so—I was more focused, less fatigued, not nearly as wrapped up in the shot I just hit or the one still to come.

And therein lies the real breakthrough, because golf is nothing if not an opportunity for self-sabotage. You start a round poorly, you stress over wanting to play better. You start out playing well, you wonder how long it will last. Pollard and other meditation experts like to say that the practice improves “present moment awareness,” which is a variation of the old golf cliche of “taking it one shot at a time.” Roll your eyes if you must, but think about how much easier the game would be if your mind were free of competing narratives and you just played.

Our Max Adler played a round of golf last year with Sadghuru Jaggi Vasudev, a spiritual leader with millions of followers and a surprising affection for golf. Adler attended one of the guru’s workshops to better understand how Eastern practices like meditation can translate to athletic performance. Sadghuru, too, emphasized the value of getting out of your head.

“People trip on their own minds,” Sadghuru said. “They need to create a little distance between what they think and what they do.” So, to get back to the original question: Does meditation help you become a better golfer? The short answer is yes. The longer answer might be encapsulated by an experience from a few weeks after our session with Pollard, when I developed a wicked case of the shanks.

For about 10 days in the heart of the golf season, I had a hard time hitting an iron or wedge without the ball screaming off the hosel right into some unspeakable place. Golfers who’ve experienced the dynamic know no more maddening affliction, and in the grips of it, I couldn’t hit a simple 30-yard pitch without panicking. Then I recalled an exercise we learned with Pollard for right before address. We’d stand behind the ball, place both hands on the grip of the club, and take in a deep breath before proceeding. For an entire round, I did this over every shot —a mini-meditation session that attempted Pollard’s version of “factory restart.” My head clearer, my breath slower, the panic receded, and solid contact soon returned.

So if you’re asking, no, I don’t think you can measure the efficacy of mediation by saying it will drop this number of strokes from your score. But what I have noticed is that it can work to flush out our worst instincts—both on the course and everywhere else. I, for one, need all the help I can get.

Source: golfdigest.com

The post Can Meditation Make You A Better Golfer? appeared first on Belle Terre.

[nicpotyedki]

Celestial Waterfall

English is not my native language, sorry for all mistakes! Please, be forgiving! I do my best! It’s my first fanfic in the fandom and probably last one (I think comic are better for me but I wanted to try fanfic anyway). The story is short, uncomplicated and the plot is simple. Look at it with a pinch of salt and try to have fun! Feel free to write your opinion if you want! And thanks for reading!

Thank you for request, @eene-fangirl! ~~ ^^

It was the middle of summer. A very hot summer. Usually at this time of year Peach Greek was vibrant. But not today. Anyone who was outside the house could swear that the temperature exceeded 200 degrees Celsius. Even the water in the pools was so hot that it resembled a Jacuzzi. Kevin wandered around the garbage dump to find entertainment. Among the used old and nothing worth of trash, you can sometimes find real treasures here. He knew it well. He once found a broken bike pump, which, thanks to the help of his father, worked today as new or at least medium-used. Kevin saw in the heap of old boxes a metal pipe that looked like a bicycle's steering wheel. He immediately extracted the metal part from under the rubbish heap. However, it turned out that it wasn’t steering, or any other part of the bicycle. Kevin paused for a moment, turning a strange metal object in his hands. It looked very familiar. He was sure that he already saw it already. Sure! It's a garden tool for watering the lawn. Through small openings, water flowed under great pressure like in a fountain. The perfect thing for today's weather. It looks like the garden hose is broken, but it's not a big problem. Kevin contentedly cleared his find. Suddenly, he heard someone shout behind his back.

-          Don't dare to touch it! It belongs to me!

It was Eddy's voice. Kevin looked at the pile of broken furniture, at the top of which stood Eddy with rage in his eyes.

-          “To me”? - Kevin mocked. – Get lost, Dork! I found it first!

-          This zone belongs to us! - Eddy jumped and stood opposite Kevin.

-          There are no zones here, Dork. And I won’t give it to you because I need it. Air conditioning broke down in my house. - Kevin tried to settle the dispute peacefully, but eventually waved his hand. – No matter. I have to go. Bye.

He grabbed the equipment carefully so as not to stain his blouse and he turned towards the exit. But Eddy grabbed the garden tool and yanked it.

-          I don’t care, Kevin! You will have to pay me to use it!

They both pulled with all their strength, and none of them had any intention of resigning. Finally Kevin shouted:

-          Enough! Stop it, Dork!! Let's deal with it like men! - Eddy blinked a bit confused.

-          …What? What do you mean? No negotiations. This… this “Celestial Waterfall” belongs to me!

Kevin pushed Eddy away and proudly tensed his chest.

-          Let's play a small beach ball game. The winner takes this miracle. - Kevin rested the trophy on his shoulder.

-          It's a provocation, right? - Eddy smirked.

-          It’s a challenge! - Kevin gave him a lofty look. - Tomorrow. In the afternoon. You and your team. On the beach. And if you really want your Niagara, don’t forget to bring luck with you, Dork.

-          I happen to be in a generous mood and I will grant your boon. You will need more luck, anyway.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, they both appeared on the beach with their teams.  Kevin’s team consisted of all kids of Cul-De-Sac.  The promise of winning a waterfall on this hot day was enough to motivate everyone to take part in the game. Kankers joined Eds’s team. It wasn’t difficult to encourage them, because Eds's visit made them very happy, and the opportunity to compete was something they could not give up apsolutely. The sun was still high in the sky when Kevin appeared on the beach with a large sports bag on his shoulder and a volleyball ball. Everyone was already there, and the atmosphere of competition was strongly felt in both teams.

-          Your presence here is proof that you want to compromise yourself. - Eddy took off his sunglasses when he saw Kevin. - Where's the trophy, cheat?

-          Word has been said! - Kevin threw his bag on the sand. - The winner takes the bag along with its contents!

-          And there's a fountain inside, right? - Jimmy beamed at the thought of it.

-          “Waterfall” - Sara corrected him. - That's what Kevin claims in any case. - She added with some doubt.

-          How did you manage to put a See cascade in such a small Tasche? - Rolf lifted the black bag gently in disbelief.

-          Hey! - Kevin shouted and snatched the trophy from him. – Not now! We will enjoy it when we win!

-          Kevin, is the water in this waterfall pleasantly cool? - Nazz asked, whose forelock was already stuck to her forehead because of the sweat.

-          And is it enough for all of us? – Jimmy asked.

-          I've already told you! All in good time! We’ll win the match first! - Kevin replied impatiently, irritated a bit by the constant questions.

-          I’m afraid that you’ll have to pour money to enjoy our miracle of nature. - Eddy put his arm around Jimmy with a sly smile. - Although only winners have the right to use the “Celestial Waterfall” but we’ll give you the opportunity to take advantage of our prize for the appropriate payment.

-          Eddy… - Edd began with some anxiety. - According to my superficial calculations, this bag can accommodate 6 liters of water, so it’s impossible to have a waterfall inside.

-          Wait for the win, Sockhead! - Eddy rubbed his hands. - It will be a hit of the summer season and a good profit.

 Everyone took their part of the pitch, and after a while the game began. Kevin and Eddy stood under the net, exchanging rival looks. However, the atmosphere of competition could be felt not only between team leaders. Nazz felt like at home. Fiercely and with a certain dedication she bounces every ball. It didn’t matter to her that she had fallen on the hot sand that was sticking to her sweaty body and getting caught in her hair. Kevin honored every bounced ball with a triumphant exclamation. Sarah constantly reprimanded Rolf, who couldn't quite understand the rules of the game, and his throws were so strong that each time the ball was out of the pitch. Due to not very nice comments directed towards Rolf, Sarah usually missed her balls, which additionally brought the nervous atmosphere in her team and the atmosphere of joy in the opponent's team. The situation was saved by Jonny, who to everyone's surprise knew the many tricks that Plank told him. However, the weak Jimmy felt pain at every stroke of the ball, and his well-groomed and delicate hands suffered so much. At one point Nazz, wanting to hit the ball, fell into Jimmy with impetus and drove him into the sand. Jimmy's mouth was full of sand and his orthodontic appliance contorted. For this reason, he was forced to leave the playing field, which resulted in one player missing from the Kevin team. It seemed, however, that only now the odds in both teams were equal, because despite the fact that the composition of Eddy's team consisted of six people, in fact Edd was a ghost player. Traumatic fear of balls made Double D avoid every ball that flew in his direction. He usually turned away or covered himself with his hands to protect his face and head. In addition, the persistent sun stung Ed's skin like a pins, which made both teams nervous with his groans. It seemed that Ed didn’t quite understand what was going on around him because he was only standing in the spot letting the ball bounce off his head. However, it gave great results so nobody in his team really didn't mind it. Kankers absolutely did not care about the rules of the game and often bend the rules, laughing aloud at the same time. Only Eddy tried to protect the team's honor by proving that a small man can cast a big shadow. Despite his short height, he jumped very high, and that allowed him to defend almost every ball. However, the most joy was given him by points scored by his team in a dishonest way.

The match was fierce, but the teams went head-to-head. It was a tie. Everyone was sweaty, tired and burnt by the sun when the leaders finally ordered a break. Sarah and Jimmy immediately ran to cool off in the lake. Edd rubbed all sunscreen into his skin. Kevin and Eddy were breathing hard and rubbing sweat from their faces, but they were still giving each other a hostile look.

-          What shameful fouls! - Eddy labored for a lofty look, but the sun was blinding him.

-          It's not art to be good when it's cheated. - Kevin gasped with difficulty.

-          Do yourself a favor and give back what belongs to us. - Lee interjected. Fatigue was barely visible on her.

-          We also want to collect our payment. – May gracefully arched and blinked toward Ed who, if not the fact that he was already wet, would sweat immediately.

-          It was me who found the waterfall and regardless of everything it belongs to me. - Kevin was clearly nervous. – And I proposed this match just to bring you down a peg, Dork! – Kevin shouted.

-          Hey, guys, stop it immediately. It’s just fun. - Nazz tried to calm down the situation, but there was no doubt that she also wanted to win.

-          You should choose words better, Kev! – Eddy said with satisfaction. - Because it looks like you're making a fool of yourself by your rashness.

-          The break is over!! - Kevin turned red on his face. – Team, get out of the water and return to the playing field!! In a jiffy!!

Everyone was lumbering and not willingly returned to their playgrounds.

-          Sarah, I am tired already. I can’t wait to chill in our waterfall. - Jimmy has sunk in dreams.

-          There is no problem, Jimmy! - Proudly shouted Eddy. - Just don’t forget the wallet!

-          Eddy! - Edd was clearly annoyed with the whole situation. – Don’t you think that charging for such basic and necessary raw material as water is at least a lack of tact, in fact I would say ...?

-          GUYS! - Kevin could not stand it. – It’s a tie! This is the decisive ball! Rolf! Where are you?! - Kevin was furious to see an empty seat on the pitch.

-          So, I found this waterfall… suposlly. -  Rolf held the garden tool that was previously in Kevin's bag.

-          Rolf, you silly! - Nazz snorted with sincere laughter. – It’s not a waterfall! It's a piece of scrap metal!

-          Rolf,  what are you doing? – Kevin didn’t have the strength for it all anymore. – Not yet! We need to get one more point, but this is a pure formality.

-          Rolf wanted to find only a Flasche of Wasser in the Tasche, but he found something that he remembers ding to his Nana’s Tracker. – He tried to justify himself.

-          One moment! What's that supposed to mean? - Sara became nervous.

-          Where’s “Waterfall”? - Nazz was clearly worried.

-          Plank says it’s a trash! - Jonny shouted.

-          Not exactly. - Edd noticed. - It seems to be an old sprinkler.

-          I feel cheated! - Jimmy was in despair.

-          Rolf sacrificed all Tag to play your comic Spiel while he should cut the sheep. - Rolf dropped the sprinkler into the sand.

-          We all played in this murderous heat to win a waterfall! Kevin, how could you?! – Nazz couldn’t believe it.

-          What a misery! Play it yourself! - Sarah shouted furiously.

-          Why is fate so perverse? - Jimmy whined.

-          Eddy! - Edd crossed his arms over his chest. He intended to give a sermon, but for lack of strength he gave up. He just sighed. - What did I expect?

-          Not nice, my dear! - Ed waved reproachfully his finger, but he didn’t really look angry.

-          Hey, sweety! - Kankers stood in front of him.

-          It's time for our payment. - Lee gently smiled.

Eddy  was confused, not only by directness of Lee, but also by the reactions of Double D and Ed.

-          Wait! The payment is only valid for the won match. We haven’t won anything yet. - Eddy tried to get out of this situation somehow.

-          Rolf’s got enough of your muddle. - Rolf got angry. - Rolf returns to the farm! It's time to drink Ruebe juice and feed Huehner!

-          Chickens!! Ed goes with Rolf! – Ed was immediately happy.

-          At least DU are useful, gross Ed! – Rolf smiled.

Ed eagerly ran after Rolf, without turning to his team.

-          Kevin, it was really mean! - Sweaty and furious Nazz shouted. She grabbed her beach bag, then without turning back to him she called. – You are so childish!

When she went away her sunglasses fell out. May noticed it. She grabbed it and ran after Nazz.

-          Hey, Blonde! You lost something!

-          Oh, thank you! - Nazz turned and took her property. - I'm so silly. - She tried to calm down.

-          Wow! - May screamed when she saw Nazz’s hand. - You have so beautiful nails! They have such a lovely color!

-          It's the color from the new collection! – Nazz was pleased to hear such a compliment. – My own mix! I have it with me if you want to try it. If you love nail polishes then come with me. At home I mix and test new colors. - Conversation with May clearly calmed her emotions.

Meanwhile, the rest of Kankers  didn’t bother with Eds anymore  too. Marie was charmed by Jonny's tactics and tricks that’s why Plank agreed to show her some tricks. Lee said that the guys are liars and pigs with which Sarah immediately agreed. That's why they left the beach in their company. They also found many common features and themes. It turned out that both of them aren’t very well liked in their environment due to their temperament and determined nature.

Jimmy, at the sight of sunburned back of Edd, immediately offered him his sunscreen cream and a cold drink at his home. Edd was really grateful to him, but Jimmy understood him well because he also had a delicate skin that would give him a lot of trouble on sunny days.

Soon only Kevin and Eddy were left on the beach. Both were confused and embarrassed by the situation. Eddy tried to keep a stony face, and Kevin just sighed.

-          Maybe… - Kevin finally began. – Nazz was right?

-          Yeah. - Eddy nodded without looking at him. – Where’s your team? - he asked with a mockery in his voice.

-          There where is yours, Dork. -  Kevin replied with no idea how to react to the existing state of affairs.

There was a moment of silence that no one had the courage to break. Eventually, Kevin broke through.

-          It's late. I promised my father that I would help him clean up the garage. I have to go. – Kevin said still feeling stupid. – Take “Waterfall”, I mean…  sprinkler. I won’t  have time to use it anyway and…

-          No, YOU take it! - Eddy suddenly interrupted him, and he was ashamed that he care so much for such stupidity like an old sprinkler. - Your air conditioning is broken and I… I have a lot of other ideas. - He smiled trying to look proud and confident. - Why do I need an old sprinkler?

-          Right! - Kevin smiled uncertainly. - If you want, you can borrow it at any time. - he laid his hand gently on his shoulder, fearing he would be pushed away and he smiled honestly.

-          You can count on it, Kev! - Eddy carelessly put his arm around him. – Listen! Let's make a party in my garden! You’ll take a “Waterfall” and we’ll invite everyone to the Waterparty!

-          Hey, that’s sound like a great idea, D-.. Eddy! - Kevin returned the embrace. – I feel that it’ll be great fun!

THE END <3

[book-o-scams]

What is your favorite trait about Jonny? About Plank?

I love Jonny’s heroism!  It’s interesting to me how often it comes up without actually being addressed as a central part of his personality. There’s a certain randomness to the three appearances of Captain Melonhead (‘Robbin Ed’, ‘Scam of the Century’ for the DS, and ‘Big Picture Show’), the persona never really feels that specific to his character, maybe because there’s so little evidence that Jonny would have an interest in comic books, and yet it actually has plenty of foreshadowing…  It started small, with Jonny being put into action scenarios like tearing the Kankers’ sail in ‘Avast Ye Eds’ or performing acrobatics to save Plank in ‘Gimme Gimme Never Ed’, and then season 4 teases the concept with Jonny playing a Super Plank game in ‘For The Ed, By The Ed’, just a few episodes prior to Melonhead’s debut.  My favorite application of this trait is the running gag of Jonny hating the Kankers and being able to take them on in a fight, whether they attack him individually or gang up on him.

I’m not sure what I like most about Plank’s personality, I find him hard to pin down, but I love that they gave Plank a weakness with water causing him to swell up.  I know the show isn’t exactly consistent about it and drops him in water all the time with no consequences, but his swelling has been mentioned at least twice and it’s just the sort of detail that makes his existence as a board so much more real.  I wouldn’t have thought of it, that’s for sure!

[boomtown-adventures]

Boomtown: Chapter 9 - Behind the Mask

This is a journal of my adventures at the festival called Boomtown Fair; a record of the encounters I have had with the wonderful street theatre team at the festival which is all part of the underlying narrative of Boomtown. This is one of the many things that make the festival so special.

I was hoping to get this finished back in October but unfortunately ended up in hospital with a virus in my brain. It’s taken me quite a lot to be able to think clearly and write again. I fear some of the adventure is a bit blurry to me now but thankfully I made substantial notes including some recordings that I made onto my dictaphone so hopefully it’s reasonably accurate. Sorry for this being super long but a lot of stuff happened! Anyway, let’s get on with the story!

Previously at Boomtown Fair….

And now the continuation….

(*intro comic from Boomtown Fair Programme)

After a year in hiding following the fall of the regime, I returned once more to Boomtown for the annual fair. The effect of the loss of Central Administration was still very much palpable as we arrived at the city gates. Clamp downs by both the police and Bang-Hai Security coupled with the fair's popularity meant that our arrival was an ordeal to say the least. This  was not something that could not deter me or even any of the other loyal citizens of Boomtown however. People were returning to the town en masse under Bang-Hai Industries’ promise of a safer city.

Darkness had long since fallen as I wearily moved into my new home in Mayfair just off the Hippy Highway, halfway between the hospital and the Paris Heights Hotel. Mayfair had been the last remaining bastion of our regime during the revolution. Nowadays however the neighbourhood was apparently under the corporate influence of Bang-Hai Industries (BHi). My new carefully chosen digs came with one of the best views in the entire city and it’s very own picket fenced front yard. The view from the front porch stretched all the way out across Downtown, with the brand new Bang-Hai Towers lit up and dominating the skyline. As I settled down for the night I marveled at the sight and lay down to dream of what would await me in the morning as I explored the sights and sounds of what BHi had brought with them.

Friday

I awoke on the Friday morning still feeling the great tiredness from the past few weeks of hard graft which had helped pay for my journey back to Boomtown. I freshened up, having still been in a state from the grueling journey here and headed over to Trenchtown, grabbing a large coconut smoothie along the way.

I settled down on the grass slopes in time to watch Toots & the Maytals open the 2018 Fair at the Lion’s Den Temple. This performance would include one of three renditions of Monkey Man that I would witness performed across the weekend. It was a great and energetic start to the weekend and already the hassles of the day before began to float away on the wind.

As the audience broke into its final applause I sat on the side of the hill watching the crowds and pondered the situation, I was back in Boomtown but I needed direction. Without a Central Administration or military and with our glorious leader Comrade José missing I found myself without place or position. During a quick scout on the way over to Trenchtown it had seemed there was no sign of Charlie Brown’s mob to be reunited with either. The Job Centre was offering a whole range of positions but was now under corporate ownership of Bang-Hai Industries. Bang-Hai claimed that they wanted to help us become the best versions of ourselves we could be. Their true intentions seemed unclear however as there seemed to be much more to it than they were letting on. With one breath they seemed to embrace the revolution but in the next they claimed  the Masked Man had now abandoned us and that they were the only people we could now rely on. Were they part of the revolution which led to the fall of our beloved Comrade José or were they against it? Either way they seemed to be too close to it for my liking and were not to be trusted. BHi were part of our daily life now however, even down to the social media platform that now integrated into our mobile phones. Everyone was signing up for the latest Social Media Platform ‘Bang-Hai People’ and the highest scoring citizens were becoming famous across not only the platform but the city billboards, screens and posters as well. Despite not having accepted Bang-Hai fully into my life as others seem to have I felt the need to pursue my score (which only seemed to be going down) and make my own mark on the town. Various bugs and connection problems to the city’s communications networks however were hindering my progress.

I was walking past the prison by the town centre when I saw one of the inmates was clearly trying to get my attention from a small round barred window on the fortified exterior.

I approached the window and he pointed at the visitor’s phone next to it. Curiously I lifted the receiver. The Telecon brand phone and prison had obviously seen better days as we found ourselves struggling to hear, shouting down the phones to try and make ourselves understood. This made the whole situation seem a little surreal but did intensify its urgency. From what I could make out he said there was a problem with all the communications in town but that this was just the tip of the iceberg.

The man had been imprisoned for attempting to hack into the Bang-Hai Industries Mainframe. He claimed that himself and his fellow hackers were doing no wrong and that Bang-Hai were the bad guys. He said that he was only after the truth and that the truth would set us free. They were being wrongly imprisoned and needed to get out. The only way he could gain his freedom was if I managed to find evidence that would prove his innocence and the corporation’s wrong doing. It was his last and only hope of being saved.

I couldn’t help but feel sorry for this man holed up in the the heavily fortified jail. My curiosity and my rising distrust of BHi got the better of me and I promised him I would do my best to help and free the prisoner from his confines. I decided the best place to begin my investigation would be to question the man’s captors.

The jailer was stood out in the yard by the visiting area dressed head to toe in some greenish overalls which were adorned with a belt which held a large bunch of keys and an ID badge clipped to their pocket. He seemed to have strangely yellow skin as if they had been transferred over from Springfield and clutched a clipboard on which they were currently writing someone a ticket for a disruption of public order offence outside the front of the building. Once they had finished serving up the fine and the offenders had been dispersed I approached them cautiously but in a friendly manner.

“Excuse me.What’s with these men here? This is some kind of jail?” I said said as innocently as possible.

“Why who’s asking?” replied the jailor still a little suspicious.

“Erm... I am! I’m Jonny. Nice to meet you.” I said holding out my hand out to the jailer who shook it seemingly now off his guard.

He flashed his name badge which indicated he went by the name of Tony Danza.

“Oh Jonny! Lovely to see you! Now.. did you want to book an appointment to see the prisoners? Are you a friend or… erm?”

“I am a friend! I’ve already spoken to this gentlemen” I indicated at the inmate I had conversed with  “I’m sure he’s a friend of mine.”

“Oh he’s a friend of yours is he? Awww, well that’s nice. Although he is one of the most notorious hackers ever!!” exclaimed Tony.

“Really? I never would have taken him  or one. I know he always locks himself in his room but I thought he was up to something else.” I said sounding surprised.

“You know what, he’s got a split personality. He’s not to be trusted!”

“So what’s he done then? What did he hack?” I asked hoping that I could garner some clear details, having struggled with the phone line.

“He’s called the Nuclear Wasteman and he hacked into the CEO’s accounts and tried to halt the development process on the Nuclear Power Plant. Because he’s really environmentalist, he’s like ‘Oh no! Everyone recycle. Everyone be environmental.’ He doesn’t care about money!” she said as if she was disgusted by the notion.

“Well we can’t just leave it there though.” I replied thinking about the great hulking nuclear plant in Sector 6.

A second prison officer approached, equally as yellow and interrupted “Are you flirting with this man??” they asked Tony.

“Noooo. I’m telling him about Nuclear Wasteman.” said Tony to the other officer giving the impression that such questions from their colleague was a standard occurrence.

“So is Sector 6 going again?” I carried on trying to keep my line of questioning on course.

“Sector 6 is going, yeah yeah yeah yeah.” Tony nodded enthusiastically “Sector 6 is running better than ever. Our CEO, he’s made everything wonderful!” he said with a pleased grin.

“I’ll have to have a look then…. Well thank you very much for the information.” I said taking my leave with a parting handshake before either of them could start to suspect my questioning was anything more than innocent curiosity.

I had a new mission, but it was still lunchtime so I picked up some Falafel for my brunch on the main street. As I finished it I spotted a familiar face walking up from Oldtown, one of my chief contacts from the fair. He goes by many names and monikers but I know him best as Martin of the Dank Parish. We had a quick catch up before he had to rush back off to work. He told me he was now employed to head up some of the chief operations in Mayfair District following his redundancy from Central Administration. He gave me the heads up that I was after a piece of the action it was a good place to poke around. So after a quick costume change more befitting the upmarket class of Mayfair I went to see what the deal was.

I entered the grand doors of the Mayfair Bank with the hope of changing my old outdated currency into brand new crisp Boomtown Dollars. A queue had formed at the entryway of the building but after a brief few moments we were beckoned in by one of the staff into the bank itself. The place was bustling and loud with citizens hustling and trading amongst themselves and the financial elite. Soon enough a very well dressed but sleazy looking man approached me asking me what I needed.

“I’m just after changing this for some new notes.” I said pulling my cash out of my wallet.

“Ah, you’ve got the old currency do you?” he asked “I don’t know if that one’s gonna fly.”

“Is there an exchange rate, or…” I started before being interrupted by the employee who, like everyone in here, seemed to be in some kind of rush.

“Yeah… I tell you what… all of that, for this.” he said holding up a single $100 note.

“What about two of them or…” I interjected but was then myself cut off.

“How much you got?” he said with greed in his eyes.

“I’ve counted out about $280 worth of notes of old currency.”

“What’s that??” he said pointing at a couple of my odder looking notes.

“That’s a bit of Downtown money. I don’t know if that’s valid up here?” I queried.

“It’s no use up here.” he said shaking his head.

As he did so a young woman approached me waving a handful of cash around offering to exchange it herself.  “I’ll give you the money if you give me all of that.” she said excitedly and another round of haggling commenced. Back and forth it went as she relentlessly tried to do me out of pocket with greed shining in her eyes.

“No deal! It’s not happening” I told her dismissively.

I turned away from her and the bank employee had disappeared off into the crowd like a devil disappearing in a puff of smoke and I was still stuck with my out of date currency in hand.

I hovered around from group to group for a time searching for someone that could help.

“OKAAAAY. FINAL CHANCE FOR MAKING SOME MOOLAAAH!” shouted one of the bank’s employees above the cacophony of the crowds “WHO WANTS TO MAKE SOME MONAAAYYY?”

I found myself swept up in the excitement and the crowd as we formed a little huddle in earnest interest.

“WE NEED INVESTMENT IN PEOPLE!” he proclaimed “It’s all good when it’s a Bang-Hai Economy! Who likes mundane tasks?”

“NO ONE!” I declared with enthusiasm.

“I don’t like them. But I do find them very fucking easy.” he replied. “Now, who finds mundane things easy?? You two! Up you come sirs. Up to the front!” he beckoned two eager young lads forward from the crowd and stood them in front of us.

“Alright! Who wants to make some money on the mundane?? It’s just liking wiping your ass. It’s that simple, you just gotta be good at deciding who is gonna be able to complete this task. RIIGHT! All I need you two to do is quite simple. It’s just swapping clothes, it’s easy. But I mean everything! You can’t start yet. You’ve got a minute to do it. If you can do it in a minute then the investors win some money!” he said holding up one bucket. He held up a second bucket and waved it at the crowd “Bet against them though and you could still make money! Who thinks they can swap clothes in a minute?”

The bank worker and a colleague of his then went along the crowd with some buckets. I decided to put some of my money in betting against them completing the task, hoping that I could get something back on my investment and maybe some 2018 banknotes.

“That’s everything under one minute!” he re-iterated “And that’s everything. EVERY-THING.”

The crowd placed their bets into the two buckets and the countdown began.

“Five, four, three, two, one! GO! COME ON!” he shouted.

The two lads began flailing about trying to undress in the middle of the bank. Various cameraphones suddenly appeared as they struggled and fought with items of clothing, hopping about from foot to foot. As I had suspected however they avoiding exchanging their underwear. As the timer counted down and I could feel the excitement increasing to a frenzy.

The 60 seconds timed out and both groups cheered thinking they had won, but my side was soon vindicated.

“They did not change pants soooo…..” He held the winning bucket high up and we grabbed our winnings from the two buckets. Shouts of victory were heard as we grabbed our cash feeling the rush of gambling and capitalism in one brief rapture.

I checked my wallet and found I still had plenty of the older notes to exchange so milled round for a bit trying to find where I might be able to swap them.

Out of the crowd a woman approached me. “Can I borrow your elbow for one second please?” she asked.

“Erm, surrre.” I replied slightly confused as she dragged me over to the Cashier’s Desk. An attendant stood at the transaction window and nodded at us both seemingly satisfied by the bounty “Okay, yeah. Now, can we unsheathe the elbow, please? Yes?”

“Yeah.” said the woman who had dragged me over “Get it out… Please… Sweetheart.” she said encouragingly, so I roll up my shirt sleeve.

“Now we’re trying to make sure we have the right clientele.” explained the cashier. “So I just need you to give it a little kiss.”

The woman began kissing my elbow as the cashier continued “And show it some love. Really yeah, take it out for dinner. Oh yeah! That’s it! Make love to it! Oh that’s good, yeah!”

“Do I get paid for this?” I asked hoping for a few more notes to help me through the weekend like the elbow whore I am.

“Not you! She does.” replied the cashier with a little disdain that I had dared even ask.

“Oh okay. Well that was payment enough!” I said as I was thrown back dismissively into the crowds by the woman having finished with my elbow.

With all the front desks busy I meandered over to the one nearer the back labelled ‘Exchange’ thinking it would probably be my best option, but it seemed to be closed. The desk next to it was serving customers however so I queued patiently behind a young couple. The banker currently seemed to have them each performing crab impressions in order to obtain some form of information. I struggled to overhear what exact information it was that was being exchanged but it must have been exciting and urgent as the couple left in a hurry and bolted towards the door as soon as they had it “Goodluck and come back if you can’t find it!” the banker shouted after them.

I approached the desk and made my plea again to swap old for new.

“This is no good. That money’s no good. Like I can’t believe it’s touching my desk!” she said in a bratty eastern european accent.

“It said in the Daily Rag Newspaper that we could exchange it in the bank? Surely the rag wouldn’t be mis-reporting?” I said dismayed.

“You know what? I’m really good person. I really am. I’m gonna open a bank account with you. What’s your name?” she asked pulling out some paperwork.

“Jonny”

“And your last name?”

Not wanting Bang-Hai to be keeping any more tabs on me I decided it was time for a  fake name. I had to think quick though and used the old trick of just reading the first thing you saw which happened to be the sign on the desk.

“Errrm….Open.” I lied “Jonny Open”

“Open?” she said dubiously.

“Yeah!” I replied looking from side to side in a rather suspicious fashion.

“I kind of get the feeling you are lying to me Jonny. But you know what? I’m a nice person. Imma open a signature account with you Jonny. And with a signature account, what happens is you get a thousand dollars for opening an account with us, because we are nice people and we are here to help you!”

“Yeah, I can see that. I can see that.” I said nodding my head.

“Yeah but there’s a procedural charge when we open this. I can give you 500 today to spend it. You wanna give me all that money.” she said indicating at my old currency.

“Here you go.” I said handing over my old cash.

“Amazing. One hundred, two, three, four, five.” she places the notes into my palm. “And if you don’t mind just putting your signature there.” she indicated to a form which I dutifully signed J.Open. “Amazing Jonny.” she continued “And you know what, just because I like you I’m going to give you a piece of advice. Be careful where you stick your dick and your signature.”

“Okay, I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you very much! Have a great day!”

“You too!” she bid me farewell as I disappeared back into the crowds, putting my money safely into my wallet as I left the bank back out onto the streets of Mayfair.

I soon find myself on Butler’s Alley, where all the most exclusive boutiques in Mayfair lay. On the steps of the Tat Modern gallery stood Boomtown’s own version of Neil Buchanan who was gathering a small group of art enthusiasts around him in preparation for an Art Attack.

“So what we’re doing is we’re making art all day here!” he declared to the group “So who here is the artist in this group?”

A young lady by the name of Ella was edged proudly forwards by her friends.

“What you’re gonna do, Ella, is have a look around. Take it all in. Take it ALL in. Take my big Art Attack in. And what you’re gonna do is you’re gonna choose something to paint and we’re gonna count down from 60 and you’re gonna have 60 seconds to make a brilliant bit of art.”

“Let me just think… what am I gonna pick... what am I gonna pick??” Ella said sounding increasingly more panicked.

“The art begins as soon as I… you’re not allowed to paint anything until I start counting… so here I gooo….60, 59, 58, 57…”

Ella began to scribble furiously onto a piece of high quality art paper with a bunch of low quality crayons looking at the shop window opposite which seemed to consist of various doll body parts arranged for unknown reasons.

A great cheer went up from the group as the count reached zero and the artwork was complete.

“Now? What are we giving this out of 10?” asked Neil.

“10!” we all shouted.

“And what are we gonna pay for this?”

“400!” shouted a girl from the crowd.

“Anyone up from 400? Who’s gonna buy this beautiful work of art?” asked Neil but no higher bids arrived.

“I tell you what.” he continued “We like to support new artists so we’ll take that off your hands. You’re gonna loan it to us and if we sell it we’ll take a commision and give you the rest back, okay?”

Neil took the piece of art from the lady and welcomed us in to the gallery to browse the other works that were already on display.

I looked around the gallery browsing each piece and examining the exorbitant prices on each. The main hall was full of art lovers and aficionados who milled around the room discussing the finer points of each display. The music of string quartet could be heard throughout the gallery bringing a kind of calm serenity to the room. A group of people stood around a piece of crumpled paper that had been accidentally dropped in the middle of the floor taking a close look at it and admiring it’s artistic properties. One man leaned towards it with his hand outstretched.

“Don’t touch it! Look but don’t touch.” I said worriedly.

“It’s an exquisite piece called Garbage” said one local expert to the gathered onlookers “It’s the most unexpected piece in here.”

“I like it!” I declared in an affirming yet surprised manner.

“It’s the most expensive and valuable piece in the gallery” continued the expert.

“I can feel it’s emotion! I can feel the emotion around it!” declared one woman “I’m smelling blue, I’m smelling purple.”

“I’m smelling something.” I said “I don’t know if that’s what purple smells like.” I scrunched up my nose deciding it was probably something a bit less arty and a little more farty.

Looking about it seemed that this gallery was maybe a little out of my price range but I took in the other works hanging around the gallery with all due diligence and respect before I made my way out. Maybe though, if I worked very hard over the Fair I could come back and return with one of the less disturbing painting to my humble abode by The Heights.

Out on the street a newspaper seller was handing out copies of the Daily Rag. Taking one I went to find a nearby bench to do a little bit of catching up on the latest news and gossip. SECTOR 6: REACTIVATION DEMONSTRATION stated the frontpage. Turning the page there were various articles and adverts that seemed to be cashing in on the previous year’s revolutionary movement, of most interest however was an article regarding the Boomtown Bobbies.

Boomtown Bobbies have said they are keeping the Boomtown Bingo Bonanza at Grandma’s Livingroom 5pm Old Town, under close surveillance. Grandma’s Livingroom has, for a long time, been a hot-bed of radical-bohemianism thought, and there have been suggestions the bingo game could descend into a ‘throwback Friday’ mimic of last years revolutionary takeover by the Masked Man’s followers. The Bobbies have advised all citizens to avoid the area during ‘kicking-out time’

It wasn’t much but it was the best lead I had at the moment but worth a follow up so I folded up the paper, placed it in my back pocket and was on my way.

Heading up Mayfair Avenue past the bars and tube station I saw one of the many huge BHi TV and Advertising screens trudging through the latest programming. An image of the masked man appeared on the screen but when the mask was pulled down instead of the expected smiling face of Nikolas Boom the cackling smug face of the Bang-Hai CEO Rothchild was revealed instead. He soon slithered off into the background and my eyes were greeted with the ongoing steady stream of celebrity based ‘reality’ shows flashing across the screen. I stared dumbfounded and bamboozled by the imagery and began to reflect on both this and the articles I had read in the newspapers over the last couple of days. Could it be that Rothchild really was the man behind the mask all the time? Had he orchestrated the entire uprising and government collapse just to give himself and his cronies more power? Or could it be that the masked was Nikolas Boom after all but Rothchild had either had taken him prisoner? Or even more ghoulish, had Nikolas Boom been buried alive under the concrete the Corporation had flushed into the tunnels  the rebels had been using beneath Sector 6? If either of the last two options had been the case then Bang-Hai would have been able to take the actual rebel uprising and use it to their own benefit. I had a lot of questions but as of yet no answers. I could only hope that my investigations would bring us all closer to the truth.

I made my way to Old Town searching the streets for any clues as I bided my time for the evening’s Bingo session. The streets and alleyways seemed to weave in and out of each other making the town into a maze in itself. These roads were familiar from the previous years but it was still possible to feel rather lost in-between the old tudor style buildings. I passed by the various pubs, venues and shops of the district peeking round every corner for signs of the revolution. If anywhere sounded a likely venue for revolution it was the People’s Frontroom, but the building seemed to be all locked up and strangely silent at that point in the day. Nearby however a large crowd had gathered to see the Stance Crew performing on the Busker’s Wharf. I had come across the crew outside the city limits the previous day. Their uplifting drums, and brass section had brought some much needed uplift and joy to us as we had sat queueing to get through customs. Currently the crew’s Mushroom Person Overlord was dancing merrily to the sounds of the accordion player.

As I meandered onwards I saw posters had been pasted to the outside of the Barber’s shop ‘Jack The Clipper. The posters were all protesting against Bang-Hai Industries planned construction plans to ‘spruce up’ the old weathered district streets. This was in stark contrast to the great billboard nearby which had been erected on behalf of Bang-Hai Real Estate promising that it was ‘Building a Brighter Future.’

Peeping around the ramshackled corners and side streets I eventually came upon the library. The sign read a closing time of 4pm so I checked my watch. Time had definitely flown as it was now 10 minutes before. Best to have a quick poke around before they closed, I decided, who knew what information could be found amongst the dusty tomes.

The library was a reasonably elaborate affair decorated with old antiques and all decked out in fancy carpets with the finest dark wooden bookshelves. The usual quietness of such an establishment however was non-existent as the noise from the Fair outside poured in through the open front doors. As I entered I was greeted by a friendly librarian who looked up at me over the top of her glasses from her desk. Our exchange of pleasantries was shortly interrupted as a gentleman approached with his girlfriend who was on the lookout for borrowing a copy of Catcher In The Rye. I left them to their exchange as I browsed the nearby shelves taking in the various titles available. The nearest shelving to me displayed their eclectic collection of Ye Olde VHS tape. They seemed to have all the classics, Mad Max, Terminator, Steptoe & Son, Father Ted, Twelve Monkeys, Small Soldiers, Tarzan, Wallace and Gromit, Snow White, The Matrix and Captain Scarlet.

“Don’t steal! Or we’ll hunt you down like a dog!” a second librarian shouted at from right beside me at a shifty looking patron on the other side of the room, causing me to jump a little. As I spun around to see what was going on she calmed again and greeted me with a warm hello.

“Hello!” I replied still a little taken startled.

“Hello dear!” she responded again loudly over the sound of the brass band which seemed to be performing just outside.

“It’s a tad noisy in this library.” I remarked.

“We’ve been telling them to quieten down but they just won't have any of it.” she exclaimed frustrated.

“Have you shushed them?” I enquired.

“Oh we’ve been shushing them all day long. They don’t even listen!” the librarian lamented,

“Terrible! Terrible!” said I.

“Oh that’s a very popular one” said the other librarian at the desk to a man who was wielding the Top Gear Alternative Highway Code “Neil Hammond. Jeremy Clarkson. It’s all there dear.”

I continued to browse the shelves, admiring a large map of the city that had been hung on the wall. I pulled out my pocket watch and took a glance “3 minutes to closing time I’d better head off” I thought, emerging into the noisy streets and deciding I’d pick up a library card at some other point.

Looking about, I caught sight of the Boomtown Costumes Company further down the street. The look of the shop from the outside was reminiscent of the old Mad Hatter’s store where the revolution had previously been rooted. I figured this was definitely a good place to try. When I reached the door I was greeted by a woman in a hat and goggles wearing an intricately styled outfit.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked her.

“I don’t know if you do. Are you from Oldtown?” she asked me suspiciously looking me up and down and inspecting my own garb. I was still dressed in a rather presentable fashion following my trip to the bank with black smart trousers, a white formal shirt and a black fedora.

“Well originally I’m from Barrio Loco. I have lived in Old Town but I’m currently living in Mayfair.”

“Typical Mayfair scum!” she said “You are not welcome here!” as she slammed the large wooden gate in my face locking it behind her. I knocked on again but there was no reply. As I looked up two oldtowners, wearing similar hats and goggles stared down at me in distaste before one pulled out a gun and fired off some warning shots forcing me to dodged and run for cover. Not the reception I was hoping for… I would have to try and be more careful with what I said to people.

I managed a rapid and evasive retreat down the road before finally managing to find a nearby alcove in which to hide. Taking a momentary breather I took a calming sip of rum from my hip flask to calm my nerves which I had stashed in one of my back pockets. From my vantage point I eyed up the Pyrite Traders & Thomas Crook establishment nearby, keeping a close eye on the band of brigands who were hanging around the building. The pirates had never really proved to be much of a reliable source of information in the past but I decided it was at least worth an ask. I entered the den of scurvy sea dogs which was trying terribly hard to maintain facade of being a respectable business (but was falling far short). A woman sat at her desk in a large throne-sized chair looking as if she was queen of the pirates herself. By her side stood a scurvy wench who hovered around the desk waving her cutlass nonchalantly in a dangerous fashion. Various pieces of nautical navigation equipment sat on the desk amongst maps and scrolls. How the rest of this exchange went however  is fairly hazy to me now but that could be to do with the failed attempt at billy-clubbing and a little too much rum. Flashes of maps, parrots, gold pieces, treasures and sea-weathered faces are all an incoherent blur.

I staggered out the pirate’s den with a sore head and the smell of booze on my breath in a slightly confused state. I did however recall that they had been very keen to save the Oldtown Port from the grimy hands of Bang-Hai Industries who wished to bulldoze the whole neighborhood in order to build a swathe of luxury hotels and condos. What I did remember for sure was that the  woman sat in the large chair had recommended that my next stop should be to check out the Wild West and speak with the landlubbers there.

As I passed what seemed to be some kind of shop window I caught sight of the message ‘HACK THE MAINFRAME. DON’T BELIEVE THE LIES’ which had been stuck to the glass using a series of post-it notes. Inside the room seemed to be some kind of computer repair shop with various components and monitors lying about. The building seemed quiet at present though with no sign of the post-it bandits at present.

As I turned around I caught sight a suspicious looking man in a hoodie take a couple of people in through the side door of the Town Hall. I made my way across the square and inspected the now locked door. I recalled that this door lead into the heart of Central Administration itself. After the uprising and a year of disrepair the building was beginning to look worse for wear with it’s boarded up windows and crumbling facade. As I was inspecting the lock on the door a group of tourists approached me

“Is this the town centre like right there?” asked one of the girls.

“Yeah.” I replied

“But like how do I get into THERE?” she says pointing at the door.

“He doesn’t even work here!” said another one of the girls from the group.

“Hello? Anybody in?” said the first girl knocking at the door. “I want to go innnn!”

The group decided to hang around with me by the door, waiting to see if the mysterious figures would re-emerge and drinking from a bottle of rum that was being passed around as we talked amongst ourselves.

After a good few minutes of this the door opened and a hoodied figure popped his head out.

“You seek attentions?” he said in a soviet accent.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked him.

“Yes. Come in, come in.” he said beckoning us through the door and down a dark corridor.

The room was full of computers, monitors, keyboards and machinery that looked like it had been pulled together from the remains of the Central Intelligence service rooms where that I once reported to. The screens displayed scrolling code and command lines with everything networked up to various communications systems. Another two figures, both in black hoodies, were both examining the instrumentation but turned to check us out as we entered. The man who had greetd us took me to one side as another of the three hooded folk spoke to the group.

“What information you have?” he asked me.

“Bang-Hai Industries have been locking people up. They’ve got them all trapped over in their new jail.”

“Oh fuck. Shit man.” he exclaimed.

“Are they friends of yours?” I asked.

“Yeah yeah, of course but we not go to jail, we are secret!” he declared.

The two other hackers seemed to have english accents and had meanwhile begun briefing the tourist group asking them to go round all the small venues in Oldtown to look for evidence to free their friends from the jail. All they needed to get started was a passphrase. They all gathered around him eagerly repeating what they needed to say to progress through their mission “Do I know you friend?” they chanted.

“The future is in your hand.” said the soviet “Your children, they will love you. Come come come, start the mission.”

“GO! GO! GO!” shouted the female hacker as the tourists ran back out onto the streets ready to join the mission.

“Are you friends with the hackers who are all locked up over there then? They said they need some help!” I said to the englishman.

“We are everywhere!” replied the englishman.

“Well you’re definitely here and you’re definitely over there.” I affirmed.

“Who sent you?” asked the woman.

“The gentleman that’s locked up over in the jail.” I replied.

“Have you got the evidence?” asked the englishman.

“Not yet. But I’m looking. Do you have any leads?”

“The entry point into the maze is in Old Town.”

“I’ve been to Old Town. I went to speak with the pirates. I used the passphrase and they sent me to the Wild West so I guess that’s where I should head next?” I asked.

“They sent you to Wild West? Sounds like a red herring to me.”

“It sounded like a red herring to me as well. I thought you might know something different.” I said remembering the times the pirates had sent me on a goose chase in previous years.

“You need to go back to Old Town and ask around again, you have until 6pm. Now go go!” he said and they sent me back into the streets.

I headed back to Old Town, eager to progress in my mission. The only clue I had at the moment was to try Grandma’s Living Room, the place where the wrinkled residents of Boomtown came together for bingo, beats and battenberg. When I arrived at the house the Living Room was packed from wall to wall. A female grime MC in a sports jersey was causing quite a ruckus from inside the the large painting that hung over Grandma’s fireplace. Various geriatric jivers danced amongst the crowd waving their walking sticks around dangerously. I had a peek around the rest of the house combing it for possible clues. There didn’t seem to be any sign of revolution in here at the moment, only an enthusiasm for Lyle’s Golden Syrup and a house that was starting to look very much trashed by all the weekend’s antics. The kitchen and dining room were without any inspiration for my quest so I decided to check upstairs. To my disappointment however the only thing to discover upstairs was a pile of strung out youths giggling on granny’s bed clutching a bag of cans for the lads.

Having checked through all the house I took a seat one of the armchairs waiting for something to actually happen. The MC and DJ were both going in pretty hard spinning up nuff rewinds and the crowd and grannies were definitely loving it. Time crept on and the advertised time of 5pm Bingo had passed and gone. A new DJ emerged in the painting and took to the decks and still nothing happened. Nothing resembling any kind of revolution seemed to materialise and I had found nothing new to go. The hackers at the Town Hall had said I only had another hour to find the next clue so sitting in the living room all night didn’t seem like it was going to get me anywhere, so I left the ruckus of Grandma’s and went back to my street by street search.

I wandered the streets of Old Town checking every nook and cranny (and granny) I could find. From Rimski’s Yard (which was bustling with junk traders) to a large group of Pro-Trump Moles Protestors, to the gathered folks trying to find salvation with the nuns; the whole town seemed to be teeming with activity. Down one of the back alleys of Oldtown Port I came across a couple who were loitering near a suspicious looking doorway. We got talking and they told me that they were both on the trail of getting to the bottom of the mystery of Old Town. The girl, who seemed to be Irish, was quite excited about the prospect and believed they were getting close. The guy sounded like he was also some form of Celt also, but seemed content to let the girl do most of the talking as he flipped through his guidebook and map. Suddenly a face appeared in a small hatched window at the door staring at us all with wide eyes.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked him.

“What did you say to me??” he asked squinting at me with suspicion.

“I said do I know you….friend.” I repeated firmly.

“Are these two with you?” he asked checking out my two companions.

“These two are friends as well.” I assured having got a good measure of them already as they had spilled the details of their own investigations to me.

“Do we know you friend?” said the Irish girl to try and reassure the disembodied head at the hatch.

Down the alleyway strode a gentleman dressed in a black corset tied with red ribbon wearing a black top hat and holding a cane with stockings that came up above the knees. Alongside him was a big hulking cyborg bodyguard with a cage around his head and a large fuel supply tank on his back. He wore khaki combat pants and had pieces of protective leather armor strapped to him.

“Good evening.” the gentleman with the cane said to the three of us who were still stood outside the door as he approached us.

“Get rid of them. Get rid of them.” whispered the person behind the door who had disappeared closing a curtain across the opening.

“Errrrrr. How you doing guys?” I asked the strange pair trying to pluck up some courage and wile.

“We are good. How are you?” said the gentleman twirling his cane.

“Well I’m pretty good! What brings you here?” I asked.

“Erm, alcohol mostly!” he replied.

“Alcohol? There’s an excellent bar just over there! Have you been there yet?” I pointed towards the tavern near the back end of the port.

“Have we been to that bar yet?” the gentleman asked his hulking companion. The cyborg grunted and shook his head.

“I think you should! Say you’ve spoken to Jonny and you might get a free drink!” I blagged.

“Thank you Jonny.” said the man tipping his top hat slightly to me.

“Have a good evening!” I said as they walked back down the alley towards the tavern.

Once they had cleared the corner I gave it a moment before knocking on the door.

“Coast is clear!” I told them.

“Quickly! Quickly!” the person behind the door said urgently.

Rapidly the 3 of us scooched into the building into what looked like the innards of a former sailing ship. The back wall however was covered in monitors and hacking terminals, just as I had seen in the old Town Hall. The room barely seemed to be lit other than the glow from the screens and equipment.

“Line up here please.” said a woman kitted out in the same kind of hoodie the town hall group had been wearing.

“I’ve got to scan you.” said another who was waving some kind of device around us.

“Arms up! Yes, arms up!” said the first woman “A bit higher. Thank you. Just checking you’re… yep.”

“It’s looking clear. Yep, yep. Virus free. All clear! All clear!” said the scanner.

The three of us were now lined up against the wall with me in the corner. The one who had scanned us turned round to the computer terminals and entered some data “We’re looking good on the system.”

All three of them turned and stood in front of us, the man from the door, the one who scanned us and the other woman who seemed to have the air of authority out of the trio.

“Well greetings all.” I said to them.

“Greetings comrades.” said the man. “This is the Hackers Hub. Have you been on a mission?”

“We’ve not been on a mission yet.” I responded “I spoke to some people in jail. Also for hacking. I presume you know them? They were asking us to find some evidence.”

“And they sent you here?” he asked.

“They sent us to Oldtown. I think we’re in the right place?” I said with hope.

“You are in the right place! Are you committed to bringing down Bang-Hai Industries?” he asked us.

“There’s something definitely wrong with it.” I said thinking back on what I had seen so far.

“It’s more than wrong.” said the hacker.

“They’re talking about bulldozing Oldtown? I’ve grown to love Oldtown!” I said reflecting on the good times the last few years had brought.

“It’s a creeping gentrification with a sinister underbelly and we’ve been working night and day to bring them down from the inside. But we need operatives. Are you up to the mission?” he asked us.

“We’re ready for the mission!” I said having taken the lead.

“Are all of you up for it?” asked the authoritarian woman staring down the other two of my companions who had been yet to speak.

“Yes.” said the Irish girl.

“I’m not sure about this guy.” said the hacker who had been briefing to the Celtic lad who was yet to speak “I can’t even see you, come here!”

“It’s quite dark.” I quipped “Have you considered installing lights?”

“We don’t need lights” said the boss lady as tough as nails.

“Ahhh. Carrots. Lots of carrots.” I concluded.

“We need committed operatives.”  said the male hacker. “This isn’t piss around time!!!” not taking to my comments. He took a moment but then decided to carry on “What I need you to do is to go to the Wild West. It’s a lawless place. There are our operatives, there are counter-operatives. I want you to maintain a very low profile. What you need to do is to go there with your passcode that you used to get into here. You need to use this passcode and do what they tell you to do. I don’t know what their disguise is but find them and use the passcode and they will give you further instruction.”

“Understood, thank you.” I said “We won't let you down.”

The three hackers thanked us for our support and gave us a bit of encouragement for our mission.

“They are everywhere and the walls have ears.” said the one briefing us “Remember, the crow cries twice at midnight.” he grabbed the door handle that would lead us back out into the alleyway. “Three, two, one!” he opened the door quickly.

“GOGOGOGOGO!” I said as we sprinted for the end of the alley back into the port.

In moments we found ourselves back in the bustling Old Town Port. A band played the Cantina Theme on a nearby stage and people jostled about getting on with their more mundane activities.

“Thank youuu! It was nice to meet you.” the Irish girl said to me giving me a smile, then her and her fella disappeared off into the crowds towards the west. I took a moment and then continued on my own path, meandering out from the port, a lone agent once more.

When I arrived in the Wild West of Boomtown the locals were already in the midst of a full brawl with punches thrown and gunshots sounding. The Town Drunk stumbled out from the saloon to lie in a heap on the woodchipped road as the harlots looked on and laughed. Once everyone had tired themselves out, the  brawl came to a conclusion as the tusslers wore themselves out and the defeated crawled off without any fatalities on this occasion.

“Yeah yeah. I’ll be waiting for you!” shouted one as the fighters crowd dissipated.

“You’ll be hearing about this!” replied one of the opposing cowboys as he himself slunk off to tend to his wounds.

“What the hell’s going on in this town now?” I found myself thinking out loud.

A bearded man in a wide brimmed hat was stood nearby at the front of the main street bank nursing his bruises from the fight.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked.

“You might do sir. You might do. Pleased to meet you.” he replied in his distinctly old west accent

“What’s been goin on?” I enquired.

“You know about them Rothchilds and those Bang-Hai tryin ta take over errything with their corporation and their greed?” he asked me.

“I’m very well aware of this.” I said in a grave tone.

“Nikolas Boom founded this town. It used to be a good town. Folks in this town take care of each other. Yeah, we got a few brawls but y’know we take care of each other. That there, that deputy that’s wanderin around here. I KNOW that he’s in their pocket. But that kinda makes one suspicious cos he banged someone up in that jail over there. Didn do nuffin wrong. Folk tryin to hearsay that he knows sumthin.”

“The same seems to be going on over in the town centre!” I said seeing that this was definitely not a localised one off incident. Again I found myself wondering what had happened to Charlie Brown and other key district leaders who had seemed to have disappeared over the last few years.

“I know it’s everywhere, son. But they ain’t our problem. But errm, see that Deputy there. Try an be careful he don’t hear what you sayin when you talk to that prisoner, hear? He knows things, son. I know he knows things! Good luck sir.” he nodded at me and with a tip of his hat he sent me on my way.

I made my way down the street from by the bank where the brawl had been towards the Lawless Halls of Justice. On the corner of the courthouse was the jail. A man stood behind the bars looking worse for wear gripping the bars in his hands.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked.

“I knew you’d say that! Someone sent you to say that?” he replied with a crazed grin.

“That man over by the bank sent me. Rumor is you’ve been locked up for no good reason.”

“Yeah I’ve been locked up for no good reason. I been locked up! I’m an innocent man! All I did was speak the truth! I’m  the editor of a rag which would bring down the Rothschilds. The Lizard People. I’m Jeremiah Hucksley.” he introduced himself.

“So you’ve got some dirt on the corporation?” I asked him.

“Erm, yep yep. Here’s the evidence!” he said as he pulled out a newspaper he had been hiding in his jacket.

“This is what I’ve been looking for!” I said thrilled that I finally had something.

“It’s all part of the puzzle. You get all the little pieces together and you make innocent people free.” he said pleased to be making a difference.

I spent a little while just talking with Jeremiah as he shared his tale and ordeal. The poor guy said it felt like he had been trapped in there for years.

“One way or another justice will be done. Thank you sir. Power to the people!” he concluded.

“Power to the people!” I echoed.

“Freedom of speech, people! Freedom of speech!” he shouted as I left the jail and headed back down the road the direction I had come.

I weaved through the people who strolled down the road keeping a careful eye on the deputy sheriff making sure to stay out of his way.  Momentarily I took refuge in the train station which was packed full of travellers. I recalled that the train station had been taken over by Bang-Hai Industries the year before so made sure I didn’t linger long and soon slinked down the back street to one of the covered wooden porches. Four ladies by the name of The Screaming Harlots were stood out in front of The Rusty Spur singing harmonies for the passers by. I pulled out the piece of newspaper that Jeremiah had given me and began to read it over.

By the sound of it a mysterious group of people had been trying to obtain Boomtown since the very early days and the founding of the town. They had brought claims against Nikolas Boom saying the land was theirs and were going about taking it from him in a rather heavy handed fashion. Could this be the same group of people we were dealing with now? Could this be the Rothchilds, the figures behind Bang-Hai Industries and the current takeover of the city. Could these be the very people who have conspired to overthrow the government over 200 years later to take control of the town? Could this even be the rumored Boominati? It wasn’t much to go on but it was something.

Evidence securely back in my pocket I made it over to the Town Hall to try and find out what our next move might be. When I got to the side door however it was securely locked with no sign of the hackers or any other way in. By the door there was a newspaper rack that had earlier contained saturday’s edition of the Daily Rag. In its place sat a lone document that seemed to have been left by the hackers themselves. This was far from the Rag which was now in firmly under the influence of Bang-Hai. This was Wikileaks scale news, the truth for the people…

I now had both this and Jeremiah’s article but where to go next? Looking round the town centre for inspiration, the prison caught my eye once more. I returned to the jail once more in order to consult with Nuclear Wasteman. I informed him about where I had been and what I had found out so far and he advised that I return to the Town Hall the next day at 1pm, saying my next contact will meet me there. He told me that this was much bigger than just getting him and his friends out of jail. Getting to the bottom of this could not only change Boomtown, but the world at large. We needed to take down the Corporation for the good of everyone before it was too late. I just needed to bring together as much evidence as I could in order for this to happen. Visiting hours were nearly over so he wished me the best of luck and I left quickly before Tony Danza or his colleague noticed that I was back and started asking their own questions.

When darkness fell I decided it was best to have a break and a bit of a knees up. Reel Big Fish were headlining in the town centre and this was one of the bands I really didn’t want to miss. When I arrived in the centre a large crowd had already gathered. The giant screen on the stage was displaying the current highest scoring citizens from the Bang-Hai People Social Network as the roadies finished setting up. The lights dimmed and we were momentarily plunged into darkness before a burst of fantastic lighting from all around as colorful masked performers appeared dressed in the top-hat and goggled style of the past revolution.

After this odd display of possible mass brainwashing of the populace by BHi, the band came on and started their show. Weirdly enough they seemed to follow the theme with one of the highlights being their performance of ‘Sell Out’. It had taken me a while in life to catch on to how much I loved this band. Their Boomtown Fair performance really brought that notion home as song after song I knew and really buzzed off. The crowd danced and bounced around with it proving to be one of the most fun performances I’d seen for a while.

The town crier called a close to the town’s main stage for the night and the crowd slowly dispersed as the skies clouded over and the rain began. As I sought shelter under the arches at the bottom of the main street, I bumped into a couple of my friends, Jack Redeye and Kiva. They introduced me to a couple of the people they had been adventuring around the city with. One of them, Dave, mysteriously looked the spitting image of the drunk I had seen earlier in the Wild West. Dave said he was an expert guide in these parts and recommended that we visit the Asylum for a quick check up.

When we reached the waiting room it was already packed full of citizens sat on the benches that lay along each wall of the cramped room. After a short time an orderly came to fetch me and Jack taking us into one of the patient's room.  The walls were absolutely covered with pictures of cats and a young lady in a tattered old dress with a wild look in her eyes was sat on an rickety spring bed.

“Good evening.” I said to her as she stared up at me smiling, “How you doing?”

She mumbled something, smiling to herself as her eyes swept the room.

“Do you like kitties?” I tried asking.

“Yes.” she said quietly yet warmly.

“Do ye likes dogs?” asked Jack.

“Dogs and Cats don’t really get on.” I said to Jack as if that was news.

“Oh, you ask if I like Dogs? No I don’t like Dogs. I like only cats.” she replied in some kind of eastern european accent.

“Only cats.” I confirmed “You’ve been drawing cats?”  I said examining some of the artwork on the walls “Which one’s your favorite?”

She had a brief think before saying “It’s like picking one of your childs, you know?”

“I understand that.” I nodded sympathetically “Yeah….they’re a lovely bunch.”

“No… there’s only one pussy for me.” said Jack pausing for a moment “That one!” he pointed at a tabby in a picture of two kittens together.

“Yes. They were born together.” she said said pointing at the pair.

“Awwwww.” I said looking at the sweet little furballs.

Abruptly one of the nurses poked he head through the door “Are you showing my pussy? Just here. This my pussy. Her name is Ginger!  This is my pussy.” she said pointing to a lovely ginger one.

“Not bad. Not bad.” I said examining it before we introduced ourselves to the nurse. The nurses name badge either read Steffanie or Cheffy although this was a topic of much debate for a moment. It was not a mystery we would solve however as we were soon beset upon at the doorway to  the room by a male patient dangerously wielding a pair of scissors that he was licking with his tongue.

“Hi!” I said greeting him “You probably shouldn't do that. It’s dangerous. Especially don’t run with them.”

“Is he disturbing you?” asked Cheffy.

“Well he is running about with scissors. Although I think he may be the one that’s disturbed.” I said.

“We’ve been trying to get the scissors off  him.” said Cheffy shaking her head as the patient began to try and stick the scissors up his bum.

“Erm….uh-oh!” I exclaimed indicating the issue to the nurse.

“Here we go. One….two….threee!!” said Chefft as the patient jammed the scissors up between his cheeks as this was a normal and acceptable occurrence in this facility.

The patient screamed loudly before breaking into giggles, grinning at us all impishly.

“I LOVVVVE EEEHHHT!” he shouted removing the scissors and offering them to me.

“No. I’m okay, thank you!” I said backing away a little. “Are you gonna…?” I said to Jack.

“How much for that?! Fuckin hell” Jack said enthusiastically.

“Awww. We having special times!” exclaimed Nurse Cheffy, who I was now doubting the credentials of.

“You want some?” the patient said to Jack, grinning as he dragged my friend off into what looked like some kind of closet.

“You’ll burn in hell if you go in there!” shouted another nurse from behind us, with an accent from the american deep south.

The door was locked as it shut “He might regret that.” said the newly arrived nurse in her southern drawl.

“I’m thinking he might.” I said waiting nervously hoping he would re-emerge.

I stood out by the closed door looking around feeling rather uncomfortable in the cramped corridors, ill at ease with both the patients and staff members now.

“You’d best check your friend.” said the southern nurse, urging me to check on my compatriot.

“Jack?! Are you alright mate?” I shouted. A few grunts and strange muffled noises could be heard from behind the locked door.  “I think there’s problems going on.” I said to the nurse.

Then came a series of loud screams and a gurgle.

“Jack? Are you still alive?” I shouted at the door before another shriek from the other side was followed by an evil laugh and then silence.

Suddenly the door opened and the patient with the scissors emerged….but not with Jack. With a completely different man.

“Oh…….. what happened there?” I said eyeing up the two figures.

“This your friend, right?” said the scissors patient.

“Erm… I’m not so sure. He looks a little different.” I said confused

“Yeah, this is your friend here.” said the scissors patient.

“Oh... Of course. Hi friend!” I said deciding it was best to accept the situation and shaking New Jack’s hand.

“Out we go now!” said the southern nurse encouraging me down the corridor along with my new friend.

New Jack seemed to be wearing some kind of hospital outfit and was much taller than the original Jack.

“Are off to have a rave? Is this the way out?” I asked as we made our way down the corridor of the asylum. New Jack lead me to a door, but it was definitely not the way out. We entered what seemed to be the medication dispensary room and my new friend shut the door behind us.

“So… yeah… this is the medicine…. do you take any medications?” I enquired thinking it was probable.

New Jack reached for what I originally thought was going to be some pills but turned out to be a hand full of wax crayons. “Oh. And some lovely crayons here. Do you want to do some drawing?” I asked him. He pointed at the wall where it appeared someone had already been scrawling some babblings.  “Oh I see you’ve done some already.” I said trying to decipher it.

“Draw on the wall! Somewhere fresh!” New Jack spoke for the first time.

“Draw on the walls?”

“Draw on the walls. Make it creepy. Make it creeeepy! Make it super creepy! Like something fragile and needy!” he said to me.

I began to join in with this preschool form of graffiti art writing a distress message of my own when I suddenly I became aware that one of the senior doctors was stood behind me peering in through the hatch that was used to give out the medication. I felt like I had been caught red-handed and began to fear the possible repercussions.

“What are you doing in there?” questioned the doctor curiously in a posh yet foreign accent.

“He’s drawing on the walls something fragile and neeeeedy!” said New Jack.

“Ah! Drawing a penis are you?” said the doctor as if diagnosing a patient.

“Erm…. is that what needs to be done?” I asked feeling like I should be complying. The doctor’s commanding stare seemed to indicate that was indeed what needed to happen so I somehow found myself drawing genitalia on a wall in the medicine store of an asylum in the wild west. I could feel the evening spiraling out of control already.

“Is that good?” I said drawing a large one on the wall.

“It’s not particularly graphic! I like graphic!” said the doctor.

“Oh… like how many penises do we need to draw?” I asked staring at the canvas.

“Oh no, I mean something disturbing like real labia and shit.” the doctor replied.

“Oh… well I’m not really an artist you know.” I said “I went down to the Art Gallery earlier but it didn’t really work out for me as a career path.”

“Oh shit, I see. Do you need group therapy?” said the doctor sympathetically leading me away from the medicine store further into the asylum leaving New Jack drawing on the walls with his crayons. I tried to decline the offer but before I knew it the doctor already had me through the door of the therapy room.

In the centre of the room was a circle of benches and on these benches sat various people who I had seen in the waiting room including Original Jack’s friend, Dave, the town drunk’s doppelganger.

“Ah. It looks like there’s already a group in here.” said the doctor.

“Erm. Hello group.” I said waving sheepishly as the doctor urged me forwards

“Ah yes. Come sit down. There is much therapy available.” she said to me as I took a bench.

The therapist seemed to be sat with one of the permanent residents who she currently who seemed to be inappropriately intermingling with her. “This is a no touching station!” she exclaimed to him batting him away. Her struggle with the patient continued for a short while as she kept trying to reassure us that everything was fine and under control.

In the end, unable to continue with the session due to the patients incessant pestering, she finally flipped.

“GET BACK IN ZE CAGE!” she yelled smacking the patient who made a rapid retreat away from the nurse.  “I didn’t mean to touch you. Sorry about zat. But you had best be off and shut ze door on the way out.” she said to the misbehaving miscreant, who slammed the door heavily on the way out.

“He is very violent. Zat is why I don’t touch him” continued the nurse to the group “Okay now…. On viv ze session. Just say your name cus we’ve all said ours now.” she said addressing the person who was sat next to me on the bench.

“Oh my name’s Peter.” he said giving a little wave.

“Oh. And yourself?” the therapist said looking to me.

“Oh, I’m Jonny.” I said kind of nervously aware that everyone was staring at me.

Thankfully the attention then returned to the rest of the group as people shared short tales and said a bit about themselves. Once we were settled in we moved onto the next part of the session which apparently was going to involve us expressing ourselves through art, which seemed to be a recurring theme at present.

“Now straight our fingers up in ze air like dis.” the therapist instructed, indicating for us to hold an index finger out in the air. “Now you want to look deep, deep into ze mind. Then begin to draw viv your finger vat you see.” she paused and watched as we all began to trace out our pictures. “Now….dost anyvone have any requests of a song for vhile you are drawings?” she asked

“Freebird! Play Freedbird” shouted out one of the therapy circle.

“Yes. I think it goes something like zis… Freebird.  Yeah, I vant to be freeeeee birrrrd...” she sang before we were interrupted by another person peeking in the door.

“Ahhh. Come in! Come in! Welcome to ze therapy session.” welcomed our host. “Don’t vurry, please take a seat. We are just doing ze art, yes.”

Our fingers continued to trace shapes and lines through the air creating our incorporeal artworks.

“Okay… It seems about people have finished ze drawings. ” said the therapist looking around the group before she turned to the newcomer “Before we continue vuld you like to say your name for ze rest of the group?”

“My name’s Dave.” said the newest arrival adding a second Dave to our lineup.

“Hello Dave!” said the group with a slight encouragement from our therapeutic leader who looked directly into the newcomers eyes and said in a deadpan yet matter of fact tone “You’re my wife now Dave.”

While the therapist was distracted one of the men from the group made a run for the door and bolted.

“BYYYYYEEEEE!” said the therapist in a slightly psychotic way before turning to us and telling us “Zey were here because they were particularly troubled.”

“Awww. I’m glad you could help them” I said to her.

“Now ve have settled matters I’m sure he will be fine. Now….I am just looking around ze pictures ve are havings. And I am seeing some very lovely pictures. Now you of course…” she said to the first participant “You have drawn a house as you have issues with your mother.”

The first artist nodded as the therapist turned her attention to the next drawing in the circle. “And you of course, you have drawn a small panda, is that right?” she asked.

“Yes it is! You’re absolutely right!” he replied quite pleased with himself.

“He has problems with his mother.” she said knowingly.

“Oh boy do I have problems with my mother! You’re very intuitive!” he confirmed.

“See. I am very very well trained.”

Eventually she turned to look at mine horrified by what she perceived.

“Do not look at zat picture!” she warned “If you look at zat picture, it vill be in your mind forever! Vat I am seeing there is quite pervy and disturbing! You have a very dark mind!”

“It was supposed to be a giraffe.” I said sadly.

“Well zat is not vat I am seeing  I don’t know know if you should be in group therapy or an art class!”

“I keep telling everyone, art is not working out for me today.”

“I think there is a problem with you….but if we all work together we can cure him, yes?” the therapist said to the circle. The group nodded in agreement so she continued “Now everybody, put your hands on ze man. Whose name….. is gone from my mind.”

“It’s Jonny.” I reminded her.

“If I had had to guess I would of said Jonny….or Dave.” she said. Both Daves nodded knowingly as the chances of a Dave in these parts seemed high “Okay, put your hands on ze Jonny.” she continued as the group all stood up and laid their hands upon me with arms outstretched. “Now sometimes violence arises from ze people. You need to create a violent environment for them in order to draw out ze violence. Let us think of ourselves in ze jungle and how we might be in zere or in ze farmyard. Focus on ze violent sounds and make ze most violent environment for him. Okay… after three. Von, two, three!!!” she declared as a cacophony of animal cries erupted from all around me. The sound was almost deafening as it seemed to resonate from everywhere at once. I closed my eyes and cringed waiting for it to be over as the sound washed over me.

Eventually after what seemed like an age the sound subsided and I heard the therapist's voice once more. “Okay. Now I vant to look in your eyes.” she said.

I opened my eyes and I was now face to face with the therapist peering at me with a medical curiosity “I am seeing…….. a clear mind” she said relieved.

A great cheer rose up from my group including myself as we all celebrated our achievement in the exorcism of apparent dark thoughts (or giraffes) from my mind.

“Go Jonny! Go Jonny! Go!” the group chanted as we all did a little happy dance that carried on out the door as we were released with a clean bill of mental health once more. The partying continued out into the corridors of the institute once more which was breaking out into what seemed to be half giddy riot and half post-apocalyptic rave. People ran rampant shouting, laughing and screaming as drumming broke out against all the doors and walls throughout the asylum to a resounding chorus of “Ohhh Jeremy Corbyn!”

People ran up and down the halls and colorful plastic balls were flung everywhere. Anarchy now reigned in the West and we partied out into a night of saloons, race tracks, dens, sideshows, burlesque and brothels like a wave of energy.

Saturday

After a Pumpkin Katsu Curry brunch I headed into the Town Centre, avoiding enemy agents along the way, to await my next contact with the hackers. Thankfully this worked out well and allowed me to take in one of the Fair’s performances I had been looking forward to, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious 5. I had seen them the previous year in at Tramways in Sheffield but they were totally worth seeing again. An hour of classic hip-hop with some of the greatest legends of the game? Not to be sniffed at. I even managed to run into some friends from Bolton, Hannah and Sophie, and we happily danced about to the Five and guests who totally smashed it bringing the good old skool vibes.

Once the show was over and my friends had headed off to go and see another band I hung around keeping an eye on the Town Hall. Eventually I saw a head peering out of the side door so I carefully approached them looking around for any sign of counter-agents.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked the hooded man peeking out from the gap in the door.

“I don't know if you do.” he said seeming very suspicious of me. This didn’t seem to be one of the hackers I had met the previous day but the way they all tried to hide their faces I was not sure.

“I’ve brought evidence from the Wild West.” I told him.

"Come on then! Quickly!" he said letting me in and securing the door behind us. We made our way down the corridor into the dark interior of the Town Hall.

“Now did anyone see you come in?" asked the hooded man concerned.

"No, not as far as I could see. But I did have to avoid some enemy agents in Wild West on the way up to the town centre earlier.” I told him.

“Double Agents? Hmmm….” he said seeming to mull it over for a moment. A second hooded hacker seemed to be busy in the background typing information onto a computer terminal, this one looked like the woman who had been in her the day before.

"Show us what you've got for us." the man continued.

I explained to him about Jeremiah Hucksley having been locked up at the Lawless Halls of Justice and that it appeared as if the corporation may have been there since the start. I pulled the newspaper out of my back pocket and unrolled it for him handing it over.

“It looks as if we've got some hot evidence here! Quick, get it on the system!” he said passing it to the woman who then took it over to the machinery and began scanning, analyzing and uploading it onto the system.

Another hacker then entered the room, talking excitedly to his colleagues as switches were flicked, commands were entered on keyboards and buttons were pressed. The room became a hive of activity as they bolted back and forth between panels and screens.

The one I had been speaking with brought over a large control box covered with switches and dials which was attached and suspended from the ceiling by a thick cable.

“Hold this.” he said to me handing me the heavy box which I diligently grabbed from him.

“Turn that dial!” he said to me and I rotated the large dial all the way up to maximum “Now enter the code.”

“The code? What code?” I said feeling like I had missed a clue somewhere.

“Enter the 3 digit code!” he said urgently.

“Errrrm…..123!” I said giving it a panicked stab in the dark and punching in the numbers on the keypad.

"Now multiply it by 10." he said taking me off guard once more. My brain stopped in panic and I had what I call one of my ‘maths freezes’ - It didn’t matter how easy or obvious the answer was, it was too late.

"Rachel Riley!!! Where are you when I need you?!" I shouted up into the sky crying for help.

"Erm.. try putting a 0 on the end of it." said the female hacker who sounded very much unimpressed by my failing at doing something so obvious and easy… which it was.  Rather embarrassed I typed in the second half of the code and the screens were filled with computer code scrolling past. It seemed that the key to unlocking the code had been hidden in the newspaper print all the time.

"I've never seen anything like this." said the guy in the background on staring at the terminal screen.

"What is it?" asked the female hacker.

"This code looks like it's from the future!" said the other one staring at it in amazement.

"From District 5 maybe?" I suggested thinking of the alien-tech influenced space port downtown.

“Mission 1 is now complete. Well done” said the leader to me taking the control box back and putting it aside. “What I need you to do now is go and see a man by the name of Andy Roid. He can be found at The Kiosk in Chinatown. Take this symbol and show it to him. He will know what it means.” said the hacker handing me a small square piece of paper displaying the same symbol as they wore on their garments. “Tell him where you have been and that we need help to decipher this Future Code. He will know what to do. Good luck.”

And with that I was sent back out into the world with my second mission started and hope in my heart now I was finally on the right path.

I figured that finding the place would be a challenge to find but it was pretty much the first place I laid my eyes on; a small windowed kiosk on the edge of Chinatown next to the picnic area. It’s green sign read ‘Tech Repair Kiosk’ and was stylised as half barcode/half circuit board. Within the hatched window sat two figures surrounded by all kinds of pieces of technological scrap, parts and tools. Neither of them seemed to look like Androids or even Chinese, but I guess you never can tell. Both looked rather bohemian and were dressed in dark well used formal jackets with slightly battered hats. Looking at them I could have sworn I had seen them both at Rimski’s Yard amongst the rebel rousers previously.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked discreetly flashing the hackers symbol I had been given at him “I’m looking for Andy Roid.”

“Andy Roid? I am not sure if he is here right now. We will see, but first we need to make sure you are really a friend.” said the man who now stood at the hatch as he grabbed some kind of scanning device from the behind him and passed it over me a few times.

“What’s in your pocket?” he said to me.

“Just my phone, wallet and sonic screwdriver.” I said pulling out the contents into my hands.

“Yes. We will just need your phone for one moment then.” he said and  I passed it over to him.

“There.” he continued “You seem to be clear enough. I am Andy Roid. Pleased to meet you friend. Now what can we do for you?”

I related to him what we had found so far and the things that had been happening up on Hilltop.

“Yes friend, we have already received the first part of the code and it is indeed from the future.” he said “But we need more of the code to crack this wide open. Much more code.”

His colleague gave him a phone battery which he then handed to me and he continued “What we need you to do is take the phone battery here to the Telecon up the street and give it to a friend there. The battery has the code hidden inside it. Take it to them and use it to gather more evidence and get more code. Things here are going from bad to worse. We need to hack the mainframe, uncover the truth and spread it. Get it all up on the big screens! The people must know! Make your way up the street to Telecon but stay on the middle of the path and do not stray. The enemy lie in the shadows and they are out to stop you.”

“Stay in the middle of the path. Got it.” I confirmed before briefly going through the details with Andy once more to be sure.

“Oh and you probably want this.” he said taking my phone from his colleague and returning it to me “It’s all clear now so they won’t be able to track you.”

“Thank you Andy. I’ll get the code and we will get the truth!” I said confidently.

“Good! Good! Now go and remember to stay in the middle. Quickly now!” he said waving me off as I made my way onto the main streets of Chinatown.

Chinatown’s wall to wall advertising and neon lights didn’t quite look as in your face during the day and the whole place seemed a bit more relaxed. The Tek Shops, Boutiques and Digital Funfair were all busy with activity as all kinds of crazily dressed fair-goers strolled around, some looking worse for wear following the night before. The Bang-Hai Industries Telecon building was at the top end of the street in an old run down building near the Monkey King Temple.

As I entered 2 customers seemed to be mid-debate with the man who was sat on the front desk and other angry voices could be heard from an adjoining office. Along the back wall were a wall of customer service desks where various annoyed customers waved pieces of paper angrily at the representatives. The door swung open from the side office and 3 people ran out scampering for the buildings exit “FUCK OFF THE LOT OF YOU AND DON’T COME BACK!” shouted a greasy looking man in a shirt and tie before retreating back into his office and slamming the door. Going for the least threatening route I joined the queue for the customer service kiosks.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked the lady at the window when it was my turn, confident that this would progress my situation somehow.

“I don’t think we’ve met, no.” she said looking at me as if I was trying to pick her up.

“Oh… okay. You just looked familiar.” I said trying to cover for myself inadequately.

“So… can I help you? Did you want to make a complaint?”

“Yes. I’d like to make a complaint!” I said thinking it was the only course of action to save face.

“Then just take this form, fill it in.” she said handing over the form with a surprisingly warm smile given the arguments other customers seemed to be having.

I went and sat at a nearby desk to fill out the form. Coming up with a list of grievances regarding the state of the communications links was easy given the fact I had been struggling to get a signal since I had arrived in town and the public phones about town all seemed to be dead as well. I wondered… could it be a deliberate communications blackout to quash the progress of any resistance or were Bang-Hai Telecon really just inept? Frustrated I scribbled down my complaints on the form thinking that I might as well now I was there. While I did so I managed to go through about three different pencils as each one seemed to break in turn. Another complaint to add to the form I guessed, trying to jot it down before another faulty pencil snapped.

Once I had completed the form I handed it back to the lady at the kiosk who diligently signed and stamped it before handing it back to me and advising that it was to be deposited in the letterbox out the front. I followed her instructions but as I stood outside peering through the glass, watching the complaint-o-matic at work, I resigned myself to the fact that the representatives perceived helpfulness was just a ruse. There I understood the real value of our opinions to Bang-Hai as I watched my letter fall straight into a shredder.

Bang-Hai prided itself on wanting to hear about our lives and thoughts and dreams across all their media platforms…. However both that and the entire corporation was just a facade. They didn’t give a shit about anything we had to say; all they wanted were our souls.

Knowing I couldn’t leave empty handed I went back inside, even if I had to face the shouty man I would come out with something!

I approached the front desk and spoke to the man on reception and tried again. “Do I know you friend?” I asked.

“Ahhh…. I’m not really in the loop with the whole thing, sorry. The guy you need to talk to has gone out for a short while. But…. I think he was meant to give you… this. It’s some kind of code?” he said fishing under the desk and handing me a small USB Drive.

“Ohh… thank you very much. Much appreciated.” I said examining it “And you don’t need this?” I said holding the phone battery with the code out to the man.

“Erm. No thanks. You can keep it.” he said looking at it puzzled.

“Oh okay...thanks. Have a great day!” I said thinking that had been probably tons easier than it should have been. Telecon was clearly falling short on the Data Protection front as well and I walked out with the data I needed safely in my pocket.

When I arrived back at the Tech Repair Kiosk, Andy Roid was there to greet me at the window. His partner was seemed to be absent and likely off on a mission of his own.

“I’ve managed to retrieve this from Telecon.” I said subtly sliding him the USB stick making sure no one could see “Apparently it’s got more code on it for you.  I don’t know if it’s of any use?”

“We’ve gotta wait for 3 more of these and but for now we can send you somewhere else. Are you up for it?” Andy asked me.

“I’m definitely up for it! Ready to go!” I said enthusiastically.

“Have you heard about The Scientist?”

“The Scientist? That guy from District 5?” I said wondering if he meant the infamous Dr. Benway, Mob Boss Muuti’s lead scientific expert.

“No, you need to go and find the Mad Scientist of Barrio Loco. And I need you to take this.” said Andy handing me what looked like a cassette tape.

“The info is on here? Or it’s got some kind of virus on it?” I said puzzled by the rather oldskool media form wondering if it was going to load up in some kind of ZX Spectrum,

“It’s not about what’s on the cassette tape. It’s more about what’s in these numbers here” Andy said pointing at the label on the tape indicating a short series of numbers “So anyone that finds it will just think it’s a music tape. We’re getting very close now. Take this to Barrio Loco, there’s a Pop Art Shop, go in there and you should find this Mad Scientist.”

So a short time later I found myself waiting in an Art Shop in the vibrant neighborhood of Barrio Loco stood with two men who were dressed as pigs. The store was attended by a couple of workers who located themselves behind the shop counter, both of whom looked rather out of place in the establishment. They did however confirm that I was indeed in the right place and that The Scientist could indeed help me on my quest. He was was currently dealing with a few other people however so I could be waiting a while.

The shop was quite busy and the wait was indeed very long but I entertained myself by discussing the impressive pieces of art with their creator who was hanging around by the front. On further illumination and examination the majority of the artwork seemed to follow an anti-establishment theme of uprising which did seem a suitable but not very subtle front for the outfit. The rest of the time I spent bopping around to the nearby sounds of the 24 Hour Garage Girls who were throwing one of their famous street parties nearby, and discussing the latest news and events with the two little pigs.

Eventually one of the shops attendants came in from the back door behind the counter to let me know that The Scientist was able to see me now. I climbed the steps over the counter and through the small door at the back of the shop. The room I entered seemed to be a laboratory full of beakers, flasks and tech. The only lighting in the blacked out room seemed to be from a selection of UV lights which illuminated the trippy glowing decorations. The Scientist himself was kitted out as expected in his long white lab coat and goggles and he seemed unperturbed by my arrival.

“Good afternoon friend.” I began “I’ve been sent to find you by Andy Roid. He said you might be able to help us.”

“I've been trying to phone Andy for 2 days now but haven’t been able to get through to him. I’m glad to hear he is okay.” said The Scientist.

“I know the phone signal is terrible. Bang- Hai has put up all these aerials and dishes and I still can't get a signal!” I said still annoyed with the service that the Telecon Company had been providing.

“Bang-Hai are not what they claim. They are built on greed.”

“I know, something about them just isn't right and we need to get to the bottom of it.” I agreed.

“We need to put a stop to the constant oppression. The head of Bang-Hai is not what he seems to be.” said The Scientist.

“Do you mean Rothschild?” I asked.

“Yes. We must bring his system down and stop the corruption.”

“Andy sent me over here from the Kiosk with this tape.” I said handing over the cassette. I explained to him that the number sequence should be the key to decoding additional data. Taking it from me he put the tape under his magnifying glass and examined in closely.

“Ah yes, I see. Yes, this is excellent. The code we have gathered already does indeed seem to be from the future. In order to gather the final bit of data we require, we will have to go into the future and retrieve it from the mainframe itself. You will need to go to District 5, which is itself the future of Boomtown. A mob boss rules there.”

“You mean Muuti?” I asked having met the cyborg mobster previously.

“Yes. Have you met him?” asked The Scientist surprised I knew of him.

“I have but that was at a previous Fair, not in this version of the future.”

“He's a little shady but he can help us with a backdoor into the mainframe. When he asks you what kind of world you want you need to say ‘A world without Masters.’ He will try and distract you by sending you to a Virtual Pleasure World. Go into it but don't look straight at it. Turn the opposite way and follow the green hacker symbols.”

“Like this one?” I said showing him the hacker symbol I had been given at the Town Hall.

“Yes, that’s it. Follow the symbols in the opposite direction and upload the virus into the mainframe. Remember once you are in, look behind you and make a note of any numbers you might see. Once you have done this then let Andy know.”

“I will do so. Thank you very much.”

“Now all I need to you to do is to sit in this chair here and I can begin the procedure to send you to the future.” he said indicating an odd looking seat that was surrounded by electronic equipment.

What happened next is still hazy to me but I seem to recall switches were flicked, buttons were pressed, lights flashed in front of my eyes and there was smoke, lots of smoke.

“Welcome to the future!” I heard The Scientist’s voice say “Once you leave these doors you will find you have jumped forwards in time and are indeed in the distant future. I wish you the best of luck! And remember.... a world without masters!"

The Year 2122

I arrived through the mists of time into Boomtown’s future and found myself on the outskirts of Dstrkt 5 in the year 2122. The buildings were in poor repair and it looked like the area had been in steady decline since the departure of the alien spaceship Arcadia all those years ago. The aliens had left not only advanced technology but a whole series of diseases and viruses that had literally plagued the people. Technological advancement had sadly taken a toll on both the human race and the environment in this time. Atop of an old scrap metal tower in the centre of the district stood the last tree in existence. Oxygen and fresh air was at a premium and not everyone could afford it. The people were clearly desperate and struggling to survive in these dystopian remnants of society. The town’s population seemed to consist of mutants, cyborgs, aliens and thrillseekers come to dance and fuck through the last gasping breaths of humanity. After oxygen and technology, the other main commodity that seemed to have survived was sex. From the brothels to the the latest Sex Robots being churned out by the Robotika Factory, man found his baser instincts were one of the few things that could survive out on these streets. All the while the cold shadow of the nearby Bang-Hai Towers still loomed over Boomtown.

I knew Muuti’s office from previous visits so despite the low key abandoned shop facade I knew where I needed to get to. A queue had formed outside as various denizens and visitors to the district were hoping to petition Muuti for one thing or another. Despite the power wielded by Bang-Hai, when it came to it, on the ground at Dstrkt 5, Muuti was the person you came to. Nothing happened in the district that he was not aware of. His henchmen guarded the door, managing the crowd and staring down anyone that approached.  Every so often the door to the office would open and a single person would be ushered inside. Most would end up being unceremoniously thrown out after a short while having angered the mob boss. Very occasionally though a citizen would disappear completely never to re-emerge. Muuti could be a great ally but it seemed he could prove to be an even greater enemy if you got on the wrong side of him.

At what seemed like an age I arrived at the front of the queue and I became very aware of my weapon holstered on my belt as I eyed up the massive assault weapons that the bouncers were wielding. I had not come unprepared and had brought with me all the future tech I could muster for this venture including tools and the latest in futuristic eyewear. The woman in front of me was giving me a deathly stare and I was glad to have the glasses to at least partially hide behind. Her jaw and mouth were obscured by some kind of cybernetic mask that probably doubled up as some kind of air filter so she wasn’t breathing the same poisoned air I was currently having to deal with.

Eventually our staring match came to an end as the door opened and I was beckoned in by another armed woman. I stepped inside into a short dark corridor which then opened up into the familiar well furnished office of the mob boss. This time however the room seemed to be brimming with a large assortment of plants. The air seemed rich with oxygen and fresh air and I took a deep breath. Muuti sat in his throne like chair behind a large desk. The tension felt like I had entered the headmaster’s office…. if the headmaster had guns and an inclination to vaporise people.

The cyborg henchwoman who had brought me in was now pointing a laser blaster at my head “Arms up!” she commanded and I reached for the skies. I volunteered that she take my Anti-Time Blaster I was armed with to show my good will. Going into Muuti’s den with guns blazing would only get me killed and possibly mulched into Soylent Green.  “Any blades on you?” she asked.

“None, just this screwdriver.” I said nodding to indicate the device attached to the other side of my belt.

“Sonic?” she asked me. I nodded in reply. “Yeah, take it off.” she confirmed. I reached down carefully and safely unclipped the screwdriver handing it over to her. She also had me remove my cyber-eyewear stating she needed to see my eyes. I removed the glasses and powered them down looking her straight into her own eyes. Her own eyes were definitely not her originals but cybernetic replacements. She brought out a scanning device and began searching me for any additional weapons or devices I may have stashed on me.

“Do you know where you are?” she asked me.

“Muuti’s office.” I replied.

“It is. When you’re in Muuti’s office you play by Muuti’s rules. You do what Muuti says. You answer his questions. You don’t piss about otherwise you don’t keep your head attached.” she said in a cold harsh fashion.

“Understood.” I nodded affirmingly as she finished her search of me.

“He’s clean.” the henchwoman told her boss, taking my equipment over and place it on the far side of his desk before indicating for me to take my place in front of the desk.

“Good evening sir.” I greeted him as he looked me up and down with disdain before turning his attention to my sonic screwdriver which he picked up for a closer inspection.

“Nice to meet you again.” I said warmly.

“Sit down.” commanded Muuti.

I walked forwards and took my seat. As I sat down I felt like I has shrunk as Muuti loomed over me from his chair. “It’s been a while” I said.

“I’m a very very busy man. I can’t remember everyone that comes through here...” he said in his usual gruff voice.

“It’s okay, you get a lot of people through…” I began before I realised that due to the time travel I wasn’t actually saw how long it was since I had seen him.

“You keep on interrupting me I’ll definitely throw you out! You understand?? Now sit back please and answer my questions.” he said annoyed “I ain’t got a lot so don’t interrupt. What you ‘ere for?”

“I was sent by Andy Roid and The Scientist to try and obtain more code and hack into the mainframe.” I explained as the henchwoman played with the settings of my Sonic Screwdriver curiously.

“Well that is very honest of you and very up front. But you know who I am?”

“I know who you are.” I replied “You have a reputation. Firm but fair.”

“Is that who I am??” asked Muuti.

“Only you really know who you are.”

“Oh this is getting very fucking philosophical isn’t it??” Muuti said rolling his remaining human eye at me.

“You’re the boss of The District.” I said getting down to the basics.

“Oh there we go. That’s a bit more real isn’t it. Now you giving me facts and not a bunch of suggestions of me being whoever the fuck you want me to be.” he said in an intimidating tone. This did not seem to be going well so far. “I am a district leader. District 5. You know, I run this town. I run this district! I make sure everyone’s safe. I make sure no law enforcement, no government officials, tamper with my social control.” he said before pausing thoughtfully and then staring at me as if he was waiting.

“Understood.”  I said trying to sound confident.

“I protect everybody. I keep everyone safe.” he continued “I like it and all our population likes it. Of course, in our district, not much air to breathe.” he points to his collection of plants “I can jar that and give as much as I want, and I do generously do that for my population. There’s also not many plants apart from my specimens that you see around you.”

“An excellent collection” I said admiring the rich foliage.

“And there’s definitely no animals.” He continued. “So there’s no food. I control that as well. So you’ve come to me, to ask for my services. But what can you actually offer and provide for me?” he asks.

“What is is you want?” I enquired.

“What have you got that I might need?” he asked.

“Oxygen?” I asked… if I went back in time again I could probably manage to bottle a good deal of air from the various forests of Boomtown.

“Oxygen? I’ve got it.” he said in a cocky and unimpressed fashion.

“Well…” I pondered “I’ve got Data.”

“You’ve got data have you? What kind of data ‘ave you got?”

“Future Code” I declared

“Future Code! What could the future code be for?”

“That’s what we’re trying to look into. We were told you could help us.”

“Okay. Let’s just restart. I’m gonna ask you a question. It’s a bit off the beaten track but answer it truthfully and honestly. And don’t deep think about it.”

“Okay, go ahead.” I said prepared for what was coming.

“What is the most pleasurable experience you’ve ever had?” he asked me.

I took a deep breath and pretended to think about it “Virtual Reality?” I said

“Virrrrtual Reality.” he said “That’s absolutely nothing compared to what I’ve been working on.”

“Really?” I said intrigued

The henchwoman continued to play with the sonic screwdriver as we spoke inspecting it closely as Muuti continued “Now it feels to me you have two options in your life.” he continued “You surrender to your pre-ordained destiny… or you stand up and you evolve! So what future is it you actually desire?”

“A world without masters” I said confidently hoping he would buy it, although in my heart my loyalty still lay with Comrade José.

“A world without masters?” he said clapping his hands in congratulations “Now we’re getting somewhere! However….if I give you this chance are you prepared to go through the rabbit hole? And you must fully understand….once you’ve gone through there’s absolutely no turning back. You will never return! Are we prepared to make that commitment?”

“I’m ready for that!” I said with determination.

“You’re ready for that? Well please… follow my assistant.”.

“Take your gun.” the henchwoman said handing me back my sidearm “You’ll need it.”

“Thank you.Your help is much appreciated.” I said to the both of them as I retrieved the rest of my equipment.

Muuti’s assistant pointed me to a strange hatch low down in the wall which lead into darkness. I got on my hands and knees and crawled through the unlit tunnel. Muuti had told me I couldn’t turn back but I remembered The Scientist’s words and looked behind me as the hatch closed up. I was looking for some kind of numbers that would be my next clue but in the darkness I was no longer able to see. I was about to reach for my torch when I emerged from the tunnel into some kind of waiting room. At a desk sat a strange woman with three faces dressed in white who sat at some kind of reception desk. Was this part of the simulation? Had I entered a new dimension completely? I wasn’t entirely sure. The room was adorned with various inkblot tests on it’s walls and had sets of chairs lining the walls. There was a small side table where one would expect to see a pile of magazines but the room seemed surprisingly blank with it’s white walls as if it were the waiting room for the afterlife. A soundscape of ethereal noise seemed to fill the air as if echoes of angels reverberated to the sound of crystal resonance.

“Welcome to Doctor Benway’s office.” said the three-faced woman “Do you have an appointment?”

“Errr… As far as I’m aware…” I said “Muuti has sent me.”

“Excellent. You can take a seat and fill out this form. Bring it back to me when you are done.” she said handing me a clipboard. Taking the forms from her I claimed one of the seats which were all currently vacant leaving just me and the three-faced woman in the room. She sat at her desk sifting through a pile of documents at her desk as if she was looking for something in particular. The form seemed to be a medical disclaimer for undergoing some form of surgery for a cybernetic upgrade. Given the fact I had already had cranial implant installed by The Bodyshop technicians 2 years previous this did not worry me though. In fact my implant had seemed to have been malfunctioning since and could definitely do with a round of maintenance.

Once I had finished filling out the form form I took it over to the desk and handed it over to the mysterious woman.

“Okay Jonny, you will need a number.” she said indicating a ticket dispensing machine on the wall. I pulled a ticket from the machine and looked at it.  

“And what number are you, Jonny?” she asked me,

“36” I replied waving my ticket.

“Okay, just sit down there.” she said to me as I sat back down clutching my ticket. I wondered if I really was the 36th person to have gone through the rabbit hole. And of those 36 people had any successfully made it into the mainframe? There was still plenty of opportunity for failure at this point in the mission.

“Can you see what’s in front of you there?” the three-faced woman asked me indicating to a series of inkblot tests on the wall ahead of me.

“Patterns.” I replied keeping it vague for now.

“Have you seen something like this before?”

“I’ve seen them in the Wild West’s Asylum.” I said remembering the doctor’s office there.

“It is the Rorschach test. It tests your personality and your brain. Which one are you most drawn to, Jonny?”

We slowly went through the patterns with her asking what I associated each one with. She advised me to say what came into my mind first each time.

A butterfly, flying free.

A plant, bringing oxygen.

Speckled Frogs (sat on speckled logs).

Two Gymnasts flying through the air.

And a couple of  robots victoriously high-fiving.

“I see. And why have you been sent here Jonny?” she asked making notes on the paperwork as we talked.

“To get more code and hack the mainframe”

“Who sent you?”

“The Scientist and Andy Roid” I said keeping to the basics. The sounds in the room were growing louder and louder. A rumble of bass trembled through the floor and my ears struggled to hear over a growing cacophony of sound that seemed to emanate from the very walls.

“And you were with the Revolution last year?” she said asking the exact question I had been avoiding all weekend.

“Well, not quite. I was drafted into the military before the regime fell.” I replied keeping it as vague as I felt I could.

I remembered back to that golden age of Boomtown and my loyalty to Comrade José. Both were long gone now though and it seemed increasingly possible that Bang-Hai Industries that had caused this.

As if she was following my train of thought she then asked a follow up question “And have you heard of Bang-Hai?”

“I have.”

“What is your observations about what is going on?” she inquired continuing to check through the paperwork making notes.

“I feel that things are just getting worse, worse and worse. Something needs to be done.” I declared

“What do you think needs to be done?” she asked me.

“We need to overthrow this corporation, get rid of it.”

“You think we can have a future without leaders?” she asked.

“A world without masters!” I replied in my most convincing voice knowing this was a crucial point.

“What do you think your responsibility will be in that world?” she continued.

“Looking out for all the citizens of Boomtown?” I pondered out loud.

“As a Warden? A Safety Officer?”

“In whichever way I can help.” I said as the cacophony of sound seemed to increase again. It was as if cymbals were clashing or a great steam powered industrial machine was crashing through it’s motions. I struggled to hear the follow up question and had to shuffle closer and get her to repeat herself.

“Does destruction seem to follow you around?” she asked.

I thought back to the events previous, the battles of the revolution and beyond. “I’m afraid so. I saw the districts burn last year. I’m not sure if it was necessary or not, we don’t seem to have got anywhere.” silently I cursed the masked revolutionaries. They said they had wanted to make things better but things were now worse than ever.

“You agree with violence?” she asked.

“Well violence hasn’t solved it, we need a different kind of revolution.” I declared.

“How would you police this new world?”

“I hope everyone could police each other.”

“For who’s benefit?”

“For the benefit of Boomtown and the world as a whole.”

She paused before asking “And what do you do Jonny?”

“At the moment I’m a mercenary, which is how I ended up in the military and how I had previously done  work for Muuti.”

“It is nice that you are loyal.” she said without emotion. I wasn’t sure if she was congratulating me for helping out Muuti or condemning me for my mercenary work.

“What would you say are the gifts that Muuti gives you?”

“So far he’s given me this cortical implant but unfortunately it seems to be faulty now and is in need of repair.” I said rubbing the back of my neck where some of the cybernetics had been imbedded previously.

“What is your goal?” she asked me.

“Hopefully to save Boomtown.” I declared.

“Have you been to the bank?”

“Yes, to exchange money from the previous years. They gave us a terrible rate, especially on the Downtown money. They said the Downtown money was worthless. They wouldn’t even give me anything for Muuti’s dollars.”

“Terrible. Yes they are used to doing things their way. How does that make you feel?”

“Disappointed at the time but at the end of the day the money doesn’t mean anything. It’s almost like the Oxygen is the currency here and now. Just the one tree outside in the square, it’s a shame. If only we could have done something to prevent it. I hope we can do something in the past to fix the future.” I said as if in conclusion.

“While we are here, we will explore what the future holds for us.” she said before a momentary pause as she scribbled something on the bottom of my form.

“Now… I have some information for you.” she said beckoning me over.  “When you go to see the Doctor he will give you two ways to go, take the option that seems harder to you and you will have an opportunity to overthrow the entire mainframe. When you are presented with the headset there are two paths you may take, one is going forward and although it may seem counteractive, if you turn round 180 degrees, you should see this symbol.” she explains pointing at the now familiar symbol on a paper on her clipboard “This is the hacker symbol and it is the opportunity to take over. The doctor will see you now, good luck!”

Feeling like I had won over a new ally already, I thanked the three-faced woman and made my way out through the only door in the room, the way I came in now being closed to me. I walked through some sheets of plastic and emerged in a laboratory. The room was full of scientific equipment of various sorts and the beeps and chirps of computer banks could be heard. The walls were coated with a plastic membrane and the room was lit by a series of white lights that adorned the wall. On the far side of the room were two built up enclosures, each with a VR headset by it.

Standing in the laboratory was a crazed looking mustachioed gentleman with longish hair who was wearing a long white double breasted lab coat, black rubber gloves, and large dark lensed laboratory goggles. Straight away I recognised him as the one and only infamous Doctor Benway. He was accompanied by one of Muuti’s cybernetically enhanced minions who seemed to be fulfilling the role of lab assistant.

“Hello. Good evening.” I said entering the laboratory.

“Please remove anything from him that might interfere with the equipment.” said Benway to his lab assistant “Thank you, your effects will be kept safe.” he advised me as I removed all my tech and my hat onto a small metal tray the woman brought over.

“You need to drink this. Please tilt your head back as I put this in your mouth.” he took a test tube from one of the racks in the laboratory that contained some kind of blue liquid and poured it into my mouth. It definitely tasted artificial but I couldn’t quite identify the contents. “Very good” he continued “Swallow it back for me.”

The doctor examined various scientific instruments in the room and then peered back at me “That’s perfect.” he mumbled.

Next he then proceeded to go through various reflex and reaction tests with me, making a few notes to himself as he did so.

“I have had a cybernetic implant previously, will that affect things at all?” I asked concerned.

“I will only know at the end of this.” he replied. “My name is Doctor Benway. In a moment we will ask you to stand inside the cage here, a headset will be place upon you and you will enter a virtual world. It’s fully immersive and three dimensional which means you will be able to look all around you and experience everything that’s going on. Your first job once the headset has been placed upon you is to look for this symbol.” he pointed to a hacker symbol on the wall for me “It’s very important, you just need to look at this for a few seconds; this is the key, this is the gateway, this is the entrance to your experience. Do you understand?” he asked me.

“I understand” I acknowledged

“At the end of your experience, when everything comes to a stop, have a little look around, there should be a little message instructing you to remove the headset. This is your queue… to remove the headset! Do you understand?”

“Ah yes. That is rather cunning!” I said.

“Please enter the cage.” said Benway indicating to the enclosures on the other side of the room. I ducked under the safety bars and stood in the middle. The doctor’s then came over to me and placed the VR headset on me and adjusted the straps.

Darkness turned into light as I was transported into the Virtual World. I found myself in a long tripped out patterned tunnel. A friendly feminine voice welcomed me as I looked around to get my bearings. Ahead of me was a red version of the hackers symbol. I turned myself around and sure enough floating behind me was the green symbol. I stared at as the headset finished it’s configurations and we were off speeding down the tunnels of this information superhighway. I flew through tunnel after tunnel chasing the green hacker symbol, deeper and deeper into the system. At every turn Bang-Hai Industries tried to distract me from my mission throwing adverts and pop ups at me, trying to lure me down the wrong paths. All I had to remember was to ignore the red symbols, follow the green symbols and keep myself focused. At each checkpoint a timer was displayed on the screen counting down the seconds I had left, each time I hit a checkpoint I would gain more time, but had to keep going at top speed to get from point to point. All the while I heard a voice very quietly in my ear, encouraging me, advising and guiding me. But this was not the voice of Benway or his assistant but someone who was directing me from inside the system. I was unsure if this was AI or one of the new revolution guiding me but either way it was good to have a friend and ally with me. Meanwhile in the real world I felt someone take my arm and hold it out in front of me before injecting me with something. The metal felt cold but not unexpected given that I was expecting some kind of cybernetic upgrade to be taking place. In the virtual world I rushed and flew through tunnel after tunnel, turn after turn, chasing the green symbols and making sure I didn’t go the wrong way.

Eventually I managed to find my way to what looked like a physical computer terminal. A window popped up asking if I wanted to upload the virus into the mainframe. I clicked okay and the upload began, the security system tried to counter it but it was too late. The virus finished it’s upload and the entire system began to glitch out. The voice in my ear congratulated me saying my mission was now complete and a message popped up in front of me saying the hack would be fully activated on sunday at Bang-Hai Towers at 23:45.

The message advising me to take off my headset then popped up and I carefully removed it.

“Thank you.” I said to the doctor and his assistant “The mission was successful. Your help has been much appreciated.”

“Keep right there please. Please try to keep your eyes open; I’m going to shine this light into them, it’s going to be very difficult. Ah yes….that’s very good. That’s wonderful. It’s definitely taking effect.” he said as he shined the light straight into my eyes. “Can you tell me what your name is?” he asked.

“Jonny”

“Congratulations, Jonny! You have been specially chosen. You are now being upgraded. When you entered the room you were given a small amount of blue liquid. Do you remember? You may have felt me administer an injection. You now have nanobots, tiny little robots coursing through your veins, fusing to your central nervous system, flowing down your neural pathways. Do you feel that?”

“I can feel them coursing! Coursing through my veins!” I said.

“That’s wonderful! They are upgrading you. There’s a few procedures we need to go through to make sure this is happening. What I want you to do is just raise your hand up like this in front of you. That’s it, arm in the air, the hand down. I want you to focus on your hand. As those nanobots are integrating into your subconsciousness. If Jonny’s subconscious is willing to have this experience this hand is going to move. It’s going to move. That’s wonderful. Now Jonny I don’t want you to move it yourself, I don’t want you to resist any movements either. Let the nanobots take full control. I want that hand to move. It might just be a finger twitching but it will move.”

My fingers began to separate slowly as I held my arm out in front of me following each and every instruction.

“That’s very good! The little finger’s going there and the fingers are starting to seperate. That’s fantastic, you’re doing this perfectly. And now the hand’s going to turn towards the face as those nanobots take full control of the nervous system. That is wonderful, isn’t that a bizarre experience. And then you’ll notice the hand starts to move towards the face and as it does, it will get quite close, it will make contact and then the eyes will close.” as he finished he clicked his fingers, my eyes were closed and everything was darkness.

The doctor had a very serene, reassuring and calming voice, almost hypnotic in nature in fact….very hypnotic.

“Now, the subconscious is being rebooted” he continued “It’s nothing to worry about, it’s normal. You will be fully aware and able to hear what I am saying. When I count to three I will snap my fingers, your hand will drop down, by your side, your eyes will open and you’re going to feel 10 times more wonderful than you did when you entered this room. One, two, three.”

“AAAAYYY!” I said grinning like an idiot.

“Are you feeling good?” he asked smiling

“I’m feeling good! Are you feeling good?” I said euphorically.

“I am feeling wonderful. I think everyone in here feels wonderful! We’ve all been upgraded! Are you willing to have an experience you haven’t had before? We will see what upgrade you have been given.” he said checking his notes and equipment.

“You have been given one of my favorite upgrades. Do you understand the word Psychokinesis?” he asked me.

“Moving stuff with your mind?” I said unsure if I recalled correctly or not.

“Very good! That’s wonderful. Do you want to try this out?” he asked.

“I’d like to give that a go.” I replied.

“Okay, we can only start with small things for now but as you go over time, over the next few days you will get better and better at this. We will start with something small. First of all can you take a step back please?” he asked.

I stepped back as far as I could towards the rear safety rail of the construct.

“Okay. I’ve got this pen.” he said picking one up from his work bench. “I’m going to place this pen on the shelf here.” he said resting it on the flat safety rail in front of me. “Jonny, what I want you to do is I want you to look at the pen. I want you to really believe that you have the power to reach out in your mind, to move the pen, believe you can do it. Say in your mind ‘Pen move! Move pen!’ almost like you’re going to reach out and touch it and move the pen but you’re not going to use your body, you’re only going to use your mind! Say ‘Move Pen! and as those nanobots integrate into your system that pen will begin to move. Say move pen! Move pen! Tell the pen!”

“Move pen, go on move, do a little move.” I whispered at it willing it with all my might “Move pen. Move pen! Come on you can do it.” I encouraged the object when all of a sudden the pen wobbled and fell over the edge making a cracking noise as it hit the floor. “WHOAH! When I was least expecting it!” I exclaimed impressed by my new ability.

“Wonderful! Usually the pen just moves a little bit, you managed to make it fall off the edge. That’s wonderful Jonny!” said Doctor Benway very pleased at the results of his experiment.

“As soon as I stopped thinking about it, it happened!” I said happily.

“Now look at your hand, really focus on that hand and as the hand starts to move closer, the changing focus of the eyes and as it reaches your face it makes contact and it brings your eyes to close.”

The darkness enveloped me once more.

“I want you to listen carefully to me Jonny.” started Benway “Today when you leave this lab you are going to feel better than you’ve ever felt in your whole life. You will be the best version of you, that there has ever been. You will be more confident. You will be more chatty. The music will sound better, the colours will be brighter! You will feel so wonderful as each minute passes, more and more wonderful and all you will be able to think about is your experience here and if anyone asks you about your experiences here you will tell them what an incredible time you had and how important this was in your life as you feel better now then you have ever done in your whole life! And then you will say ‘I am District 5. I am for Muuti.’ Now when I count to three and click my fingers you will be wide awake. Your eyes will open and your arms will drop to your side and you are going to feel so incredibly wonderful, your going smile at me and we’re all going to feel better. One, two, three.”

And with a click of Benway’s fingers I opened my eyes speaking the words “I am District 5. I am for Muuti.”

“Jonny! Congratulations! You are fully upgraded!” declared Doctor Benway before turning to his assistant. “He’s ready to go.” he said to her and she began to prepare for my release back into society.

With my new re-purposing I would spend a good bit of time in the future of Dstrkt 5. From the busy Spaceport to the Sewage Workz I took it all in. People raved in the streets as they tried to forget their troubles. Even in the Robotika factory’s shipping yard the party raged on to the futuristic sounds of drum, bass and dubstep which reverberated the metal containers that lined the area. While I took in this auditory experience, I was pleased to run into my friends, Cait and Badjah, who were visiting the district to take part in this end of world dance. Up on the platform in front of the factory proper, performed the likes of the legendary Aphrodite and Caspa of the Dub Police to mark this apocalyptic dance experience.

Probably the most curious thing of all in this time however was hidden behind the toilets. At the back of the main loos was a very uniquely decorated ‘Portal-Loo’ - And if you thought the queues for the normal bogs were long, this one left them to shame. Curiosity got the better of me; the general rule of the Boomtown Fair seemed to be that if there’s a queue, it’s worth queuing for. A sign outside read ‘Virtual Reality Peep Show’ and following my flight around the mainframe this was something that definitely peaked my interest. Rumor was that inside a pocket dimension through the portal was a secret members club where the dethroned elite were hidden among some of the most decadent settings in the galaxy.

The queue was being patrolled and managed by two women in elaborate outfits who were covered in far out face and body paints, who said they were aliens visiting from another dimension. I managed to get chatting with a blue haired one about the state of the district and about the Portaloo itself.

“Muuti's VR is shit compared to ours.” she told me, which is an interesting thing to say by someone who’s VR system is inside a toilet.  “You’ve experienced nothing like this before. Anyway, Muuti is nothing but a bastard.” she continued “He's stealing all the air from District 5 and selling it back to us for his own profit. He cares nothing about the rest of us.”

“I am District 5. I am for Muuti.” I thought to myself as the words seemed to echo in my mind. I felt inclined to argue with her but as I wanted to get inside so I saw fit to remain tight lipped.

After an eternity it was my turn to use the loo. It was a good thing I wasn’t desperate! I took my seat upon the plastic throne and one of the women handed me a VR headset which I placed upon my noggin. I found myself flung back into the virtual world and down a shaft of lights and pulsing shapes as if I had arrived in some kind of hyper-lift. I floated out through a grand cityscape of cyberspace tower blocks. The city seemed vast and was full of virtual avatars strolling amongst the buildings. Ahead of me I located some steps which lead down into a multi-level underground club full of digital clubbers. In various places throughout this virtual world I kept coming across signs and billboards that curiously read the same slogan ‘They Sleep. We Live.’ - I pondered the meaning of the saying as I floated around this virtual setting.  I passed through the club and into a small room. Looking down I saw another sign but this one instead stated the words ‘Don’t look down’ but it was too late and I found myself falling down a great pit.

‘GAME OVER’ flashed the message on my headset and I removed it. Once I did so I heard a voice from behind me which asked “What is this password?”

“They Sleep. We Live.” I told the voice.

There was a clunk and the wall behind me disappeared and I was taken through the Portaloo and into the pocket dimension.

The walls of the club glowed in the ultra violet lights and exotic dancers from across the galaxy strutted their stuff upon their podiums. One wall had a series of holes across it which let in light like a field of stars. If you put your eye to them within each was contained it’s own peepshow. The members club itself wasn’t as vast as the virtual club I had arrived through but it was definitely more exclusive. A bar was found near the back and there were various small chairs and tables around the room. After taking in the shows however I found it was getting late (if time existed or not in this dimension) and I had other places I needed to be. Thanking the staff I excused myself and made my way back to my own dimension.

2017

Before I knew it I was back in my own time and having completed my mission I headed back to the Tech Repair Kiosk. When I got there I found that there was no sign of Andy and it had been locked up for the night. A note was affixed to the inside of the window:

‘We had to leave. We had a problem with housekeeping! We need your custom. Please come back tmrw between 1-6PM - FUCK Banghai’

With the rest of my day now free, and the hack not being fully activated till the evening after, I decided it was time to really take in some of the entertainment the Boomtown Fair had to offer.

I made my way up to the Lion’s Den in Trenchtown and sat relaxing on the hill with a tray of Canadian Poutine. I took in the grand sight as the sun set over Ziggy Marley’s performance and I settled in to watch The Specials, for my third helping of ‘Monkey Man’ (having already seen Toots & The Maytals and Reel Big Fish both play it).

This was then followed by the one and only Skindred at the town hall which was just as amazing as I could have imagined as the square turned into one big moshpit. The energy in the city was amazing and the yearly fair seemed to be going well. I had to admit that even the output at Bang-Hai Towers was super impressive with the likes of The Prototypes and Ed Rush rocking the downtown area. I managed to meet up with Badjah and Cait again and we all had a damn good dance.

Meanwhile in Oldtown Bang-Hai Industries had already moved in it’s team of surveyors who were measuring things up against their plans to demolish the neighborhood.  Fights and skirmishes broke out as pirates and angry locals turned up to protest against the destruction of their home. Regardless all around them the party seemed to carry on as if oblivious.

Before bed I decided to sit down in Oldtown myself to watch a puppet show story of how Nikolas Boom had discovered the Lion’s Den Temple back in the day (This is something I’d really like a full video of if someone has one). I wondered to myself were Nikolas Boom might be, was he alive or dead? A mystery for another day. Before I knew it the night had grown old and I settled down back at my home on the hill, looking out across to the ongoing laser light show at Bang-Hai Towers.

“Party on for now Bang-Hai! Because tomorrow, we strike.”

Sunday

It was a beautiful morning in Boomtown and I decided to take a long stroll up to Whistlers Green while I took in the sunshine. At the very peak of Hilltop those that hadn’t overdone it the night before mingled with those that were still up, as they lay on the grass by the large sculpture that overlooked all of downtown. New paths had been routed since I was up here last including a rather pleasant stroll through the woods, the sunbeams streaming through the canopy as a gentle breeze blew through the pages of the books that were suspended from the branches that hung above the way. I emerged from the trees up by the Junkyard Golf course via a beautifully carved archway that had been crafted by the Tree Pirates. The windmills had expanded since the previous year but most of Whistler’s was still very familiar with it’s circles of gypsy caravans and tipis. Arts, crafts and café’s were plentiful up here along with some of the more traditional fringe features. A large group of people gathered out the front of a tent saluting the sun in one of the Fair’s Yoga sessions. Children ran around a Giant Chess set and guitars could be heard strumming on the wind. It was certainly a far cry from the scenes of struggle and corruption that seemed to be prevailing elsewhere in the town. I spent a while pottering about, examining sculptures, art displays and browsing the farmer’s market. As the sun passed mid day however I decided I’d better make my way  down the hill (and the giant steps) in order to give Andy the good news about the mission.

I made it downtown much faster than I had imagined so spent some time just wandering the streets. Over the weekend more and more fly posts had appeared around the town that featured the symbol of the hackers. Some included a mysterious phone number but I still couldn’t manage to get any signal either on my cellphone or from any of the Telecon Booths around town. Accompanying these were the opposing propaganda, wanted posters that were to be found all over the city and across the front page of the Daily Rag featuring citizens that had been found to be associating with the hackers. Big rewards were now being offered for Bang-Hai Industries Most Wanted. Thankfully I had managed to stay under the radar so far but even when I had trolled the staff at Chinatown’s Bang-Hai People Support Office I had managed to stay off the radar so far. Sure, my wristband tracker was on the system but with Andy Roid’s wizardry and tinkering with my phone I seemed to be covered so far.

I got to the Tech Repair Kiosk just after 1pm, checking and making sure no one had followed me. Andy had returned there again by himself and was just settling in for the afternoon. “Good Afternoon Andy.” “Good afternoon. And what can I do for you?” he asked me casually as he looked around making sure no one was listening in. “You told me to return once my mission was complete.” “And is it complete?” he asked. I relayed to him what had happened in Dstrkt 5 and that I had successfully managed to upload the virus into the Bang-Hai Industries mainframe as planned. “Ahhh! My friend! That is really good news! Thank you! Thank you!” he said shaking my hand with a grin on his face. “I was very happy to help.” I said smiling back “Any time you guys need anything.” “The takeover will happen over there somewhere tomorrow.” he said to me nodding at the massive Bang-Hai Towers which stuck up in the sky dwarfing all the other buildings. “Yes. Bang-Hai Towers. Quarter to 12, tonight” I affirmed remembering the information the helping voice had given me within the Virtual World. He thanked me again and with nothing left to do until the evening I went off to have a well deserved relaxing day enjoying the Fair.

And lots of fun was indeed had that afternoon starting with a good ol’ post-mission celebratory cider drinking with The Wurzels in the town centre. They may be getting on a bit but those West Country folk sure know how to party! I sat in the forests for a good while after that taking shade from the sun and sitting in the nice cool sand listening to Kiko Bun performing and watching the shadows of the leaves dancing across the ground. Street parties had broken out across town protesting the Bang-Hai Regeneration Projects, from Mayfair to downtown, unsanctioned events, causing BHi both figurative and literal headaches. I was taking it easy though and Mr. Vegas was definitely another highlight of the day. Vegas was smashing out the dancehall classics as I lay on the hill in Trenchtown. II was really starting to feel the tiredness creeping in from the busy weekend at this point though. I grabbed a drink to perk me up a bit and decided to hit the Mayfair Theatre to take in a show and to watch the sun starting to go down from the balcony there. It seemed the other citizens were feeling the burn as well and as I passed the markets near the helter skelter I saw a group of people lounging around on the grass. One of the group was wearing a long dark hooded trenchcoat. On the back of the garment and near the tip of his hood were sprayed the ancient symbols of Boomtown. I was impressed, the details were very accurate, in fact it was spot on to the badges worn by the Masked Men the year before. He had a bag with him and sported a very long impressive moustache and long scraggly hair. At the time I thought nothing significant of it, just another fairgoer in a great costume I had assumed. Looking back on that moment since however I can’t help but think the man was the spitting image of Nikolas Boom himself the founder of this very city….

I tried to keep it a little civilised for a while and tried to check in to The Park Hotel. My best suit and my passphrase wasn’t of much use however as they said it had now expired for the year and I was too late to use it but should check back again next time I was in town. I stopped a while and listened to the live band on stage and to mingle with the more sophisticated elite of Mayfair. I just couldn’t stop myself from going out to join the partying out on the street though, that was where the real buzz was at this point in the Fair.

Counter agents and bounty hunters were still everywhere, especially with the new Most Wanted List being up everywhere but I found they were easy to avoid now as long as I was careful. I spotted the two from the alleyway climbing the Hippy Highway but managed to stay hidden from view and even track them for a short while myself.

Once darkness hit though I decided that if I was going to hide, I would just hide in plain view. I managed to dig out the brightest outfit I could find complete with flashing lights and raved my way all around the town giddy from my caffeine, rum and general smug sense of achievement. From the UV forests of the Rave Yard to the Tribe of Frog to Downtown, I strutted my stuff and skanked the hell out.

The time flew and eventually it approached the witching hour, the hack was about to go down and the best place to see this was at Bang-Hai Industries very own communications hub at The Towers. I knew a good few of my friends were in the audience to witness the finale of the Fair but the square out the front of the towers were jam packed. I tried hanging round one of the raised platforms on the left hand side where I had bumped into friends on previous nights here but the crowds was so dense it was hopeless.

As Black Sun Empire finished DJing their final tune, the lights dimmed for a moment and the nightly broadcast by Bang-Hai Industries began….but this time it would be with a twist. The grand finale had arrived….

Following my hack of the system and deployment of the virus into the mainframe, all BHi systems had been compromised and we had been able to download all the data we wanted, before they were able to reboot the machine. This meant we were able to take all their dirty little secrets and broadcast them across the city for everyone to see across every TV set and screen.

Bang-Hai Industries had been humiliated and the true depth of their abuses were now public for the world to see. BHi would crumble and the people would rise up empowered by the truth. A world without masters would rise from the ashes of the great corporate machine! Or so we thought….

To be continued….

Back to reality

I would just like to take this opportunity to again thank all the creative team at Boomtown Fair for allowing me to take part and experience this with them. Everyone from the actors to the set designers have done an amazing job and really brought the city and the story to life.

Unfortunately life imitated art and instead of getting a virus into the machine, a couple of months after the Fair, a virus managed to get into my nervous system somehow and I was taken into hospital. It meant lots of injections and tubes but unfortunately not the fun kind Dr. Benway uses. At this point in time (March 2018) I am still not fully recovered and getting my journal written this year has been a long hard slog but one that has kept my mind stimulated and allowed me to relive my adventure (as best as I can recall it now).

I very much hope to make it to Chapter 10 this year so I can continue my adventures but at this time I’m not 100% sure if I will be well enough for my usual antics or even have the money to do so as I am currently unable to work. I remain pretty hopeful though and will count the next few months as training to build my strength back up.

Thank you for reading if you still are and hope to see some of you at Boomtown in 2018!

Epilogue

[ask-the-phan-site]

Phan Cam: Graduation of Destiny

NOTE: In Japan, the novel coronavirus, COVID-19, is going around. Now keep in mind that this takes place in a fictional version of the world where things are a little different, but some real-world problems do happen here. So please forgive us if this brings up any hurtful subjects.

WARNING: This post is also a bit long.

>Shujin Academy. Hard to believe that it was closed off not too long ago because of a viral outbreak. But they managed to reopen in time for the graduation ceremony.

Finally, after such a long time, it’s here!

WE’RE FINALLY GRADUATIN’!

I’m surprised that you managed to make it, Ryuji.

Shut it, cat! It’s bad enough this graduation sucked.

I know. Our Horizon friends, Makoto, and his friends were supposed to be here to watch us graduate, but they couldn’t because of this outbreak.

It couldn’t be helped. Unless they have a thorough examination, there’s not much anyone can do.

Just be glad you were on that heist at the time. I’ve never seen so many surgical masks in my life.

Thank goodness Kuchisake-onna chose to stay in her room at the apartments the whole time.

That’s good to hear, I guess.

Pretty much. Though, I would have thought this would be a good opportunity for her to hide so easily.

Crow: That’s why she’s staying home.

By the way, Yusuke, why aren’t you in your uniform?

Fox: Because of COVID-19, we had our ceremony early. I would have invited you, but the principal insisted on a small ceremony with only a few people, just staff, students, and some of our relatives.

I can’t believe this had to happen.

I’m sorry, you two.

Fox: But if it makes you feel any better, Hifumi chan’s mother recorded the whole thing.

She posted it online...

And you weren’t kidding about the masks.

Well, I’m sure as long as everyone had a good time, things should have been fine. Including remembering to cover their mouth when they cough and wash their hands.

Fox: Pretty much.

Panther: And to make it better, they decided it’s okay to reopen Disneyland Destinyland. But they also said that just case, the park will be closing early for the next couple of weeks. I just hope we can make the most of it there.

Oracle: And they’ll add extra security to make sure things are safe. They even got the Danger Rangers and their human counterparts, the Rescue Heroes, helping out.

That’s right. We even featured it on the talk show.

I saw it, too. This is even reached the legal system as some neighbors started accusing neighbors of being infected, which I find ridiculous.

Well, things have calmed down now, so it should be safe to go to Destinyland now.

Joker: Yeah, Mom, Dad, and my godparents are already waiting for us there. Let’s head back to our homes and change.

>We all agreed and separate for now. Me, Fox, Oracle, and Boss go to Boss’s car. It was a little cramped since before coming here, Boss went to Fox’s dorm and helped him pack the rest of his things to be taken to the cafe.

>My room in Leblanc. I help Fox unpack the rest of his things and I change into my street clothes.

Fox: All done.

I know. I still can’t believe this is happening. We’re finally living together.

Fox: That’s right. No more one night a week. From now on, we’re together always.

Joker: Yes. Actually, I have something for you.

(Art by Don’t Die, Lloyd.)

It’s so wonderful, Ren. Actually, I have something for you, too.

(This was part of a comic.) 

I love it, Yusuke... And I love you.

(SURPRISE KISS! Please don’t flag. This image was found somewhere online.)

>He returns the gesture... This is the happiest of our lives.

Hoo boy.

Joker: (finishing up) How long have you been watching?

If you two are done, me and Futaba are ready. They still letting the trains be used, so you better get in gear Or would you rather stay and get more closer?

Joker: (smiling) We have a motorcycle, you know. But we don’t want to keep the others waiting.

>We head down.

Boss: Romantic relationships sure have changed.

>Tokyo Destinyland in Maihama. We came here to celebrate our graduation at Panther’s idea.

NOTE: Still not a good artist. Pretend the sprites have surgical masks.

You know, I thought you were supposed to come come to Destinyland the night before graduation.

Well, that’s what was suppose to happen, but because of the coronavirus, we had to change our plans.

Noir: Well, we still managed to get here.

There they are!

>Not too far from us are my parents, Jonny and Arual (we changed it to hide her identity), my uncles, Vincent, Orlando, and Toby, my aunts, Rin and Erica, and Panther’s parents, Katherine and Mr. Takamaki. Also with them were our friends from Kyoto, Zenkichi Hasegawa, aka Wolf, and his daughter, Akane.

About time you guys got here. We were actually thinking of going on without you guys.

Boss: Yeah well, any traffic problems you’ve got, direct it to the coronavirus.

Don’t even mention it. Just getting to here was hell.

Akane.

Aw, lay off the kid. She’s just sayin’ it as it is. Kinda makes us wish we had Arual and Ren’s alien immunity.

(sorry about the dress) It’s not always the answer. There are some diseases even we’re not immune to.

Joker: That’s true.

So, where do we start? We only have a few hours before the park closes.

I know! I’ve always wanted to ride the Haunted Mansion Manor.

Queen: (shivering) That place gets a little... Intense at night. How about just a relaxing Jungle Rain Forest Cruise?

That ride just goes on and on. What about a fast-paced ride, like the Pirates of the Caribbean Canary Islands or Big Thunder Lightning Mountain?

Big Lightning. Definitely Big Lightning. But I also wouldn’t mind Splash Mountain Hill.

How about Star Tours Adventures?

We already live in space, though.

Rin: From a reality perspective. I wonder what a fictional version is like.

Mona: (confused) Pretty much the same thing.

I’d suggest the Mad Crazy Tea Pary, but I’m afraid that would spread germs even more. Or just make us puke.

Well, that’s too bad, I loved that ride. Then again, I agree with Toby and Ryuji. I vote Big Lightning.

That sounds excellent, honey... (whisper) My poor stomach.

(also whispering) Mine, too.

Joker: You two can sit out if you want. No one’s forcing you.

Thank you.

Boss: I’ll sit this one out, too. I don’t think my old heart can take that much intenseness.

Wolf: Me, too.

>We go on Big Lightning Mountain.

>After that...

I so wanna go again!

Jonny: I’d (groans) rather not.

Mona: (a little dizzy) That, and we won’t have enough time.

Noir: I really want to do, Erica chan’s thing. We never got a chance to ride the Haunted Manor the last time. Now’s our chance.

...

Noir: It’s alright if you don’t want to ride, Mako chan.

Queen: No, it’s fine. I should be fine if I’m with everyone... And you.

I know. Just trust me.

Thank you.

Toby: (confused) Are they...

Erica: (not happy) It’s not polite to stare.

>The Haunted Manor. When we arrived, we spot Danger Ranger and fellow Phantom Thief, Street, arguing with a couple of Rescue Heroes.

Come on, you guys, I’m totally not scared of the Haunted Manor.

And this comin’ from the man who believes in Gargantua.

I wouldn’t doubt the kid just yet.

Young Rescue Hero: See? Even the talking polar bear agrees.

.Southern Rescue Hero: Even talkin’ animals can be wrong sometimes.

Skull: Yo, Burble san!

Street: Hey, you guys!

Southern Rescue Hero: Friends of yours?

Street: They helped us with some stuff. We’re friends now. What bring you guys here tonight?

Queen: We’re celebrating our friends’ graduation. How are things with you?

Street: I just wish an epidemic wasn’t the reason we came here. By the way, these guys are Rescue Heroes.

Oracle: The younger guy is Rocky Canyon and the cowboy is Jack Hammer.

Jack Hammer: So you know about us, huh?

You’d be surprised by what people like me know.

Street: (shuttering a bit) I guess the term, Internet Safety, means nothing to you.

Not in the slightest.

Erica: So what were you guys just talking about?

Rocky Canyon: Just remembering my first visit to the Haunted Manor.

Jack Hammer: (laughing a bit) Yeah, I heard you wet your pants.

Rocky Canyon: (upset) I already told you, someone just spilled soda on me! Seriously, don’t they know they’re not suppose to take stuff like that on rides?

Mona: (whisper with a wink) Like how you’re not suppose to bring animals on.

Rocky Canyon: And now I’m trying to convince these guys that I’m not scared of the Haunted Manor.

Jack Hammer: I dunno, you were shakin’ like a sunbather in winter when Billy told us to watch this part of the park.

Rocky Canyon: I was excited, that’s all. I’ve only been to the Destiny Resorts in California and Flordia. This is the first time I’m visiting one of their overseas resorts.

Jack Hammer: (disbelieving) Yeah, keep tellin’ yerself that.

Rocky Canyon: (still upset) Fine, you don’t believe me? It’s just about time for our break. Let’s go in right now and I’ll show you how brave I am.

Jack Hammer: Alright, we’ll see.

Jonny: (smiling) This ought to be good.

Vincent: (a bit nervous) Yeah, I guess.

Rin: It’s okay, I’ll be right by you.

>One ghostly adventure later.

(shaking a bit) Haru, you have some weird interests.

But you have to admit, that was exciting.

Erica: You bet. I think the Seance Room was my favorite. What about you, Toby?

Toby: I thought the song in the Graveyard was a bit catchy.

Mr. Takamaki: I actually liked the Library. It actually sounded like the stories in them were coming alive.

Rocky: (shaking only a little and we think we can be on first name basis) See? I told you I wasn’t scared.

Jack: (also shaking the same thing with Rocky) Yeah, I guess.

Street: (smiling a bit) I thought it was great. I should remember to tell Squeaky and Kitty about this.

Fox: And what about-

>He stopped and looked down at my leg... which Queen was hugging.

I’msorry!I’msorry!PleasesavemeSis!

The ride’s over now.

Haru: It wasn’t that scary.

Queen: (getting back up) R- Right. I just didn’t expect those ghosts in the mirror.

Rocky: Anyway, we just rode it, now to get back to work.

Street: Yeah, I have to check in with the others and see how they’re doing on their end.

>With that, they return to their posts.

Wolf: We still have some time left. Why not get something to eat while we can?

Boss: I suppose we could. But remember to wash up before that. And try not to sit too close to each other. And we wash up again after.

>After a quick bite, we decide to ride a couple more rides, grab some souvenirs, and take a picture before going home. Uncle Vincent insisted we go to “it’s a small tiny world”.

>After that...

Orlando: (groaning)  How did we let you talk us into that?

Vincent: I just thought we could use a change of pace.

Katherine: (sarcastic) Sure, because being in a long ride cooped up together won’t get us sick.

Rin: I’m sure we’ll be fine... I hope.

>Both Toby and Mr. Takamaki both make a small cough.

Rin: Are you two alright?

Toby: We’ll be fine. But I think me and Mr. T will sit out of the next ride.

Katherine: Okay. So, any ideas?

Violet: I really want to ride Space Galatic Mountain.

Panther: Oh, I’ve actually wanted to ride that. Let’s go.

>One super fast ride later.

Totally worth it!

Katherine: (smiling) Like mother, like daughter.

(dizzy) No kidding.

Mona: (also a bit dizzy) But you have to admit, it was something. You made the best choice, Lady Ann.

Katherine: (a bit confused) You know, you sure seem to like being around our daughter. Is he your boyfriend, Ann?

I’d rather not answer, Mom.

Erica: Seriously, Toby, are you sure you’re alright? You feel a little hot.

Toby: I don’t know. (cough) I know I was coughing earlier when we got here. You don’t think...

Mr. Takamaki: Hope not... (cough, cough) I think I might be, too.

Admin: Luckily, one of the shops nearby has an on-the-spot check-up station. We can go there and get souvenirs.

>We all agree.

>At the shop, we see Danger Ranger Gabriela with three Rescue  Heroes examining a child with his mother.

It looks like you have nothing to fear. You’re all healthy.

Boy’s mother: (relieved) Thank goodness. I was afraid he would have it.

Boy: Does this mean I have to go to school tomorrow?

Boy’s mother: School’s already out for spring break. I think you’ll be fine for sleeping in.

Medical Rescue Hero: But if anything comes up, be sure to get to the hospital.

It just shows that sometimes being healthy can lead to being safe.

>With that, the boy and his mother leave.

Oracle: “Being healthy can lead to being safe”?

Guess you Danger Rangers ran out of cool things to say.

Gabriela: Well, we had a lot of people coming in. It’s nice to see you guys again.

Joker: Same here.

Hey, you’re that group Jack and Rocky told us about.

Queen: Yes, they told us about you as well. Wendy Waters, Jake Justice, and Matt Medic, am I correct?

Yeah, that’s us.

Gabriela: So what brings you guys here? Came to do some shopping? Or maybe you need an examination?

Wolf: Both. Most of us already got tested and we turned up negative. But young Toby and Mr. Takamaki could definitely use an exam.

Matt Medic: Alright then, come this way.

>With that, Toby and Panther's father follow Matt Medic to be checked while we stay behind to shop. I notice Jake Justice doesn’t look happy.

Joker: Is something the matter?

Wendy Waters: A friend of his lives here in Japan. He hasn’t seen him since he got here.

Jake Justice: I’m just worried. I don’t want to think he or his mom might be infected. I just wish I could be sure.

Oracle: If you like, I could help you find him.

Jake Justice: You can do that?

Don’t underestimate her.

Jake Justice: Well, okay.

Oracle: (taking out her phone) So, what’s his name?

Jake Justice: It’s Yuuchi. Yuuchi Jiyu.

Yuuchi Jiyu?

Jake Justice: You know him?

Skull: He’s an idol, like me.

Fox: And he and a member of his Unit are students at my school. Or was now that he’s graduated the same day I did.

Jake Justice: That’s actually great.

Oracle: I even read on his Twitter Chipper account that he’s actually here to do a show.

Jake Justice: (worried) Seriously?

Fox: He even announced it at the ceremony.

Skull: It was the head of his Unit’s idea. He thought it would be good to raise everyone’s morale in these times.

Wendy Waters: Couldn’t they do it on a live video feed?

Skull: Then they wouldn’t be able to use the Dream FES System. Besides, the head of his Unit said they are not going to do it from a safe place like cowards. Yochi and the others agree.

And KUROFUNE and I kinda agree with ‘em, too. And so does DearDream.

Jake Justice: I see he’s living up to his name. Brave One.

Mona: (grinning) I guess Ryuji’s Japanese isn’t the only one questionable at best.

Shut it, cat!

Oracle: Anyway, they’re just going to do a couple of songs and that’s it. If you hurry now, you should be able to talk to him before the show starts.

Jake Justice: Can I?

Wendy Waters: Well, I guess you are due for a break now. But you’ll have to explain to Billy later.

Gabriela: And don’t forget to bring your mask with you.

Panther: You guys go without us.

Noir: Why? What’s wrong?

Erica: Toby and Ann’s dad both tested positive for the coronavirus.

Matt Medic: Fortunately, we found it just in time before the symptoms could get worse. Just a week or so in the hospital and they should be fine.

Katherine: Me, Ann, and Erica are going with them. This is what we get for listening to Vincent. I told him that ride was a bad idea.

Vincent: (a bit frustrated) It was a mistake, I get it.

Matt Medic: I’m sure this would have happened anyway. It was out of anyone's control.

Toby: He’s right. I haven't been feeling right since we got here. (cough, cough)

Mr. Takamaki: Just relax, hun. (cough) Though, I wish you could stay, Ann. This was supposed to be your grad night. Heck coming here (cough, cough) was your idea.

I know, but I’d rather make sure you and Mom are fine.

Katherine: Thank you, Ann.

Mona: I’ll go with you, Lady Ann. I don’t want you to go through this alone.

Panther: Thanks, Mona. But I don’t think it would make sense for you to get caught up in this. You should stay here with the others. I’ll let you guys know if anything comes up.

Mona: I see. I hope things turn out well, Lady Ann. I’d kiss your hand, but I have to keep my mask on.

>With that, Panther, Katherine (still curious about her daughter's relationship with Mona), Mr. Takamaki, Toby, and Erica leave to wait for the ambulance.

Mona: I hope things will be alright.

Joker: I’m sure they will.

Mona: Thanks for that, Joker. Here, I was going to give this to Panther, but I guess I can give it to you.

>Mona give me a Mickey Mouse Rusty Rabbit Watch*.

(*The other admin doesn’t know who the official mascot of Destinyland is.)

Thanks, Mona.

>A little later, were in front of the castle were a stage had been set up. Security guards and other Rescue Heroes were there to keep the crowd in control to avoid spreading the virus. Skull and Jake manage to get us backstage. There, we met up with the Idol Unit, StarRescue. (Names have been changed.) First, there’s the brave-hearted leader, Shinrin Senshi, the bookish Matsu Oka, and the slightly muscular and justice-believing Yuuchi Jiyu.

Skull: Yo, Yuuchi san!

Yuuchi: Ryuji san?

Skull: I got a surprise for you.

Yuuchi: Yeah?

Jake: (smiling) Yeah.

Yuuchi: (excited) Jake Justice sama!

Jake: You could just call me Jake. And yes, it’s me. It’s been a while. I can’t believe how much you grew. To think, not too long ago, you were just a little kid with his stuff monkey.

Yuuchi: A lot can happen over the years.

Shinrin: See? I knew Yuuchi was telling the truth.

Oka: (groans) Fine. I owe you both an apology for not believing you.

Jake: You doubted I was friends with your friend?

Yuuchi: Oka’s not exactly our friend. He’s only with us because we needed a good lyricist.

Fox: It’s true. Oka goes to my school and I’m told he’s at the top of his poetry class.

Oka: I joined to better that skill. Unlike the other two.

Shinrin: Me and Yuuchi have a common interest. You guys. The Rescue Heroes.

Shinrin: Of course, I mostly like Billy Blazes. Yuuchi kun is your fan.

Yuuchi: That’s right, Jake san... Which is going to make tonight very hard for me.

Jake: What do you mean?

Yuuchi: I was going to announce this after we finished our song, but I think you guys should hear it first.

Shinrin: What’s wrong?

Yuuchi: This... will be my last concert. After this, I’m going to the police academy.

Shinrin:(shocked) What? No. I know I’m the leader, but you’ve always been like our frontman. The guy everyone loves to see the most. You can’t quit now.

Yuuchi: I know. But I made a promise. On that day when the bullet train almost took mine and my mother’s lives, I made a promise to join the Rescue Heroes when I got older. I became an idol so I can earn enough money to pay for training. Now, I have the money and I’ve graduated high school. Time to make good on that promise.

Oka: It’s true. It’s all he’s been talking about since last April. Kind of annoying, actually.

Shinrin: But Yuuchi kun, I was going to retire from the idol business. Even if it’s just for a little while. With my mom in the hospital with the coronavirus and my dad drinking himself silly over it, my grandpa can’t run the bookstore by himself. He needs help. Besides, if you leave, I’ll be stuck with Oka and he and I don’t have that much in common.

Oka: That’s right. I’m not crazy about you Rescue Heroes as these two are. Besides, in terms of hero teams (adjusting his glasses a bit, we would have thought he was Kyoya Ootori had it not been for purple highlights) I prefer the Avengers. Especially Hawkeye. Seriously, that guy's way too underappreciated. The guys may not have superpowers, but he’s done a lot for the world. I was even there when he lived in Japan as Ronin.

Jake: True. We’ll never be as great the Avengers. We don’t have high tech suits or a Vibranium shield, a magic hammer (though Jack says his is magic), or even a Hulk (though we were very close to having one). But we do have skilled archers as you put it. Though not as skilled as Hawkeye. Still, we do good, too. Heck, there were times when we even worked with the Avengers.

Oka: Yeah, I know about that.

Yuuchi: Look, I know it seems hard, but I made a promise. So, please let me do this. And if things don’t work out, I’ll come back. Is that alright with you?

Shinrin: ... Alright. I trust you. I know you need this.

Oka: Well, I guess that means it’ll just be me. StarRescue is officially on hiatus.

Skull: Ya know, I just got in third place at Dream FES last year. I’m a True Idol and can start my own Unit. If ya like, you can join mine. I’m even thinkin’ about havin’ the Okamotos join in.

Oka: ... I’ll think about it. Thank you.

Jake: You’re just following your passion, Yuuchi. I’m happy about that. I’m also happy to see that you are holding to another passion. Especially for your friends.

Shinrin: Technically, I’m Yuuchi’s only friend in the Unit, but ya know.

Jake: Still, I’m glad to see that you refuse to give up on your passions. I’m also glad to see that you won’t let something like the coronavirus get in the way of doing what you love. Just remember to take precautions to make sure you don’t catch it or spread it. Like our motto goes...

Yuuchi: (smiling) Think like a Rescue Hero. Think safe.

Stagehand: Hey, it’s almost time. Good luck out there. Those people are getting restless despite there only being a few there.

Shinrin: We’ll be fine.

Yuuchi: Let’s do this one last time. Together.

>Even Oka couldn’t help but smile.

Shinrin: Then here we go!

>With that, they go out on stage. We diced to go into the fairly large crowd to support them.

Shinrin: This pandemic won’t stop us from living our dreams. Don’t let the same thing happen to you.

Oka: We can brave this terror when we unite our hearts.

Yuuchi: With the Rescue Heroes, the Danger Rangers, and even the Phantom Thieves on our side, we can overcome this together.

StarRescue: Now, let us conquer this Scenario!

Dorika Time!

Catch Your Cheers!

Yuuchi: Your cheers will get us through.

Catch Your Cheers! 

Shinrin: I’m pumped up for your love!

Catch Your Cheers!

Oka: Nothing can stop us from doing this.

Catch Your Cheers!

StarRescue: Together, your cheers will shine!

One-Day Policeman Series! Complete!

>StarRescue performs the KUROFUNE song, Scenario.

>After the song...

Crow: After hearing Ryuji talk about the Okamoto Twins, I just remembered. Ren, may I have a word with you?

Joker: Sure.

>We go to the nearest bathroom to talk privately.

Joker: What is it?

Crow: As you know, I couldn’t join you in the Amity Park heist.

Joker: Yes, you were on a case at the time. I guess this is about that.

Crow: Yes. And...

I believe it has something to do with the San Campion heist.

I suppose Futaba told you about the experiment.

Crow: She has. She said that something or someone came to Earth from the planet Eternia.

Joker: And?

I found that someone.

Are you sure?

Crow: Well, he was dressed oddly when me, Makoto, and Haru found him. And he had a real sword with him. Though, something seemed unusual about it.

Joker: What do you mean?

Crow: After examining it, it seems to be radiating some kind of energy. And it gets even stronger when he’s near it. Like... Like it needs to be with him. And it’s probably a good thing we did give it back to him. For a while, he started showing symptoms of the virus, but the moment we gave it to him, they were just gone like he just went through a quick recovery.

Joker: I see...

You think they can reproduce that energy to cure everyone?

Crow: They tried. But they got an anonymous message advising against it. And they listened. Probably a good thing. I could tell that kind of energy seems far too dangerous to use. So all we can do is hope they find a better way. But enough of that, we’re talking about Adam.

Joker: Adam? Is that his name?

Crow: It’s all he remembers. When we found him, he couldn’t remember who was or where he came from. He only remembers that his name is Adam. We couldn’t find any information on him, so he has to be from somewhere... out of this world.

Joker: Have you told anyone. Peter? Harry?

Crow: I did, but when the coronavirus hit Japan, they couldn’t do anything. They couldn’t even come here.

Joker: I see.

Crow: Still, we should at least try to learn what we can. So, I was wondering if you could come with me to talk to him further.

Joker: I suppose I can. Though, I don’t think going into a hospital might be a good idea right now.

Crow: He’s not there. After the outbreak was reported, they let him go to make room for patients. Fortunately, a colleague of mine offered to let Adam stay at his house. Since he says he’s always on a case, it should be fine for him to stay there. I’ll send you the address and you can come when you have the chance. Fair warning though, it’s in Beika. Think you can make such a long journey?

I’ll see what I can do.

>With that, and after washing our hands, we rejoin the others. Apparently, we missed the last song. But still, it was one heck of a night. So, we all went home for the night with the memories of what happened.

[damijon-supersons]

The Screw-ups: a Super Sons fic

Synopsis: Jon gets injured after a mishap on a mission with Damian. Friends and family come to visit him, except for the person he wanted to talk to the most. Written with inspiration from @batboyblog :D

It was supposed to be another routine mission for them.

Once Jon and Damian’s dads had warmed up to the idea of them officially working together, they’d been sent on small-scale missions—things that their dads wouldn’t have worried about. That time, their mission was to apprehend a rogue STAR Labs scientist who supposedly stole some experimental weapons and was evading arrest by using them. It was nothing that Superboy and Robin couldn’t handle.

At least, it was supposed to be that way.

Neither of them knew that the experimental weapon was a mech suit that was lined with a synthetic kryptonite alloy. Damian hadn’t foreseen that the moment he tried to climb up the mech’s back, he’d get electrocuted by a hidden defense mechanism. Jon didn’t expect that the moment he tried to save Damian as the latter fell, his powers would severely diminish in the face of the mech’s kryptonite elements, and render him completely vulnerable against a strike from a two-ton metal arm.

When Batman and Superman had arrived, worried when their sons had become unresponsive, they found Damian convulsing on the floor and Jon crumpled in a heap inside a mech-suit-fist-sized hole in the wall. The headlines that day spoke of how Superman nearly destroyed the entire building in a rage and how—despite the kryptonite—he ripped the mech into pieces until he collapsed from radiation poisoning. Other rumors told of how the scientist was beaten to within an inch of his life by Batman, and how full recovery seemed impossible.

The next thing that Jon saw was a bright light. There were people talking all around him, and he thought he heard his mom as well. It seemed that he was lying on a soft white bed, but he couldn’t tell for sure because he couldn’t move at all.

He’d wake for a few minutes at random, and then fall back asleep again. The occasional times he was lucid enough to understand what people were saying, he gathered that he was in a Wayne-funded hospital, in a special room that only certain doctors close to Bruce himself knew about. From the snippets of conversation he’d heard, his inherent powers of invulnerability saved him from any lasting damage, but his injuries were still enough that he could barely move.

It took a couple of days, but Jon seemed to be healing well. He could finally stay conscious for more than a few hours, and he could move his upper body once more. The first day that he could talk again, his mother, Lois, was there.

“Mom…?”

“Jon!”

Lois had cried, in fact, far too much than Jon would have liked. As she had explained it, she’d been worried sick, staying as often as she could in the hospital and even stopped going to her job at the Daily Planet. Superman himself was bedridden in the fortress of solitude for an extended recovery. Jon had asked about Damian, but Lois didn’t know what had happened to him.

“I’m sorry, mom,” Jon said weakly.

“Baby, shush. What are you apologizing for?”

“For worrying you. For getting myself and dad and Damian into trouble. I wasn’t careful and I messed up…”

“No, none of that was your fault, Jon. You did nothing wrong,” Lois replied softly. “If anything, your father and I blame ourselves. We agreed to have you go on these missions. It was our call that got you injured.”

“Don’t say that, mom,” Jon replied with a slight smile. “I’m just glad you’re here now. But you need to promise me something. Don’t worry so much anymore. Don’t stop goin’ to work just because of me. Go back home and just wait for me like you always do after school. I’ll come back, I promise.”

Lois tearfully agreed, and then left. Jon wondered if she’d truly left, though, because he could’ve sworn that later that night, when he woke up barely conscious, he felt the presence of someone watching over him.

“This was my fault for letting you boys go.”

The second day, Batman came. Bruce Wayne came in a suit and tie and stood over Jon’s bed the whole time, somehow managing to merge his imposing figure with that of a stern but distraught father.

“We should have gathered more intel before we sent you out. I should have sent someone to tail you. This shouldn’t have happened.”

“Mr. Wayne, how’s Damian?” Jon asked with evident concern.

“He’s recovered.”

For a few seconds, there was an awkward silence as Jon’s doubt stopped himself from asking a very crucial question: where was Damian, and why didn’t he visit yet?

If Bruce picked up on Jon’s thoughts, he didn’t say. “We used both human and Kryptonian medical technology to heal you, so you should fully recover. As for the future of your activities, we’ll discuss that once you’ve been discharged.”

“Future…? What do you mean? Are you going to stop me and Damian from going out to missions from now on?” Jon asked with a hint of frustration.

Bruce grunted in reply.

“I owe it to Clark and to you that this never happens again,” he said with finality before he left.

Jon felt angry. Was Batman going to stop him from being Superboy? Where was Damian? He wanted his partner to be there and to talk to him about this. But Damian was nowhere, and Jon felt alone. He started to wish that he hadn’t told him mom to stop coming to the hospital—at least he’d have company.

Later that night, Jon fell into a vivid dream. He was back at STAR labs with the rogue scientist. Just as he was about to rush into battle once more, his dad, Batman, his mom and all the other friends he had came forward to battle the mech. Jon couldn’t move as he watched the mech defeat every single one of them.  

Jon woke up in a sweat. The dream made him feel horrible and alone. But when he groggily glanced to his side, he saw the silhouette of someone in the dark sitting beside his bed. Though he didn’t know who it was, the presence calmed him and he drifted peacefully back to sleep.

“Heeey! There you are, Jon!”

“’Sup, flyboy?”

“Are you sure you’re actually injured, because you look fine.”

Dick Grayson, Jason Todd and Tim Drake poured into the room on the third day. While they were Damian’s brothers first and foremost, the previous Robins had taken a great liking to Jon once he’d become a frequent visitor the Wayne Manor as Damian’s new partner.

“Hi guys!” Jon chirped. It was the happiest he’d felt in a while.

“We brought you stuff so you don’t get bored while you’re here,” Dick began. “I brought you some comicbooks. They’re the latest releases.”

Jon gleefully accepted the comicbooks—they were from his favorite series, Sparrow, son of Owlman.

Tim handed him a smartphone and said, “Here. You know that new On-justice fighting game, right? Well, I modded it myself so that it’s a bit more interesting to play. You can keep the phone.”

Jon’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Whoa, really? My dad said I didn’t need a new phone when I asked him…”

Dick, Tim, and Jon then looked at Jason expectantly.

“Oh, it’s my turn? Okay, here.” Jason fished a small fidget spinner from his pocket and gave it to Jon. The other former Robins gave him an exasperated look. “What? I heard it’s all the rage with kids these days!”

Dick laughed while Tim shook his head in pity.

“No, it’s fine. I guess I always wanted to see what’s up with them, anyway,” Jon giggled as he accepted the toy. “Thanks guys, honest. You didn’t have to do this.”

“This is an advanced loan, mind you. No more birthday or Christmas presents this year…except for Jason, that spinner barely counts as anything,” Dick said with a straight face.

“Hey!” Jason protested.

“Dick’s joking…except that part about Jason,” Tim chimed in.

“You guys are so asking for it.”

Everyone was laughing by then, including Jon. He was oblivious to the fact that the three Robins gave each other subtle smiles, as if they’d accomplished what they’d set out to do in the first place.

“We should have been there,” Dick said after a while. “We should have helped.”

“We keep saying that you can always count on us to save you. But when that time came, we weren’t there. We’re sorry,” Tim added.

“Guys, please, there’s nothing to be sorry for!” Jon insisted. There was so much that he wanted to say that he couldn’t put into words. Everyone kept blaming themselves, and he hated it.

“Don’t get me wrong, Jonny Boy, I’m less worried about you than I am for myself if Damian finds out I let you get hurt—again, I mean,” Jason said comically.

Instead of laughing, though, Jon frowned. “Uhm, do you know where Damian is these days…?”

“What do you mean?” Tim asked.

Jon looked away as he replied, “He hasn’t come to visit at all…”

“Are you kidding me? He hasn’t shown himself yet?” Dick shook his head with a wistful smile. “Classic Damian.”

“Okay, I’ll tell him,” Jason told his brothers before addressing Jon. “Damian’s been watching over you all this time.”

“W-what?” Jon asked in confusion.

“The moment he recovered, he camped out at the hospital’s roof. He’s been slipping into your room every night watching over you while you sleep,” Tim explained.

“You know how he is,” Jason added. “If you wanna call him out on his silent watcher bullcrap, just stay awake past midnight. Oh and take a vid of his reaction, too.”

“Jason…!” Dick chided.

“I’m kidding!” Jason said with a pronounced wink.

 Just as Jason had suggested, Jon forced himself to stay awake past midnight. Just before he was about to nod off, he heard the almost imperceptible sound of the room’s window being slid open. Jon focused as his super hearing picked up extremely soft footfalls, and a steadily beating heart. It came from a darker corner of the room, just beyond his peripheral vision.

“Come out, Damian, I know you’re there,” Jon said firmly.

“Tt.” Damian clicked his tongue as he came into Jon’s field of vision. He sat down on the chair beside the bed with a sullen look on his face.

“You could have said ‘Hi’, or something. It would have been nice if I knew you were here.”

Damian stayed silent.

“Gah, I’m so mad at you right now, Damian! There’s so much I want to say to you but you were never here! Why do you have to be so edgy that you have to hide the fact that you visit me every night?”

Without looking at Jon, Damian flatly replied, “If you wanted coddling and attention, you already had your visitors for that.”

“But you came here every night either way,” Jon said with a hint of annoyance. “You could have just told me if you were worried, I would have liked that better than you hiding in the dark.”

“Tt.”

Jon waited a few seconds to collect his thoughts before talking once more. “Damian, my mom visited me and she blamed herself for what happened so much that she stopped doing the things she had to, like her job. Your dad visited and blamed himself so much that he wants to stop me from doing things that I have to, like being a hero. Your brothers came here and blamed themselves, and they thought that they should always be there to save us.”

“What’s your point?” Damian asked. Talking about feelings was not his strong suit, and it showed.

“Don’t you get it? I wanted them to stop blaming themselves! I just wanted a chance to say that this was my fault—our fault! We should take the blame, too! I didn’t want a mom or a dad or an older brother who kept apologizing for what we did to ourselves.”

“And what do you want, exactly?” Damian asked cautiously.

Jon looked Damian straight in the eyes and said, “I wanted a friend, Damian—someone who’s with me even when I make mistakes and gets where I’m coming from. I wanted you.”

Damian stayed silent again, so Jon continued.

“We both messed up, Damian. You’re the only one who understands what I feel. We made our families worry, and it’s our fault, not anyone else’s. I don’t need someone feeling sorry for me. I just want someone to be with me.”

“Tt.”

Even without words, Jon could tell that Damian felt the same.

“I know you’re not good at mushy stuff like this,” Jon said with a smile, “but we gotta have each other’s backs whatever happens. We’re Robin and Superboy, even if we mess up really bad sometimes.”

Jon held out his hand. A moment later, Damian’s own warm hand grasped it firmly—he’d apparently taken off his costume’s gauntlets just for the gesture.

“Jonathan Kent, you’re such a screw-up,” Damian sighed.

“Only as much as you, Damian Wayne.” Jon grinned.

“For better or worse, this is why we’re partners.”

[dollprose0-blog]

L.A. Weekly: A Look Back at 40 Years of Irreverence and Devotion to L.A.

When editor-founder Jay Levin had the mad idea to start a weekly alternative newspaper in Los Angeles in 1978, corralling a small group of investors including actor Michael Douglas, there were already such notable predecessors as Los Angeles Free Press and the Village Voice. But Levin's L.A. Weekly soon tapped into — and helped to propel — a riotous explosion in art, music, fashion, film and literature that had long been simmering around the Southland and by the late '70s had begun welling up with a force that could no longer be contained in the underground.

The city's newspapers of record, the Los Angeles Herald Examiner and the Los Angeles Times, were fairly conservative back then, and the two publications' cultural coverage generally centered on the mainstream preoccupations and vanities of their perceived audience of mostly white, mostly male and mostly upper- and middle-class readers. Some of the more perceptive writers at both papers made fitful attempts to tap into the burgeoning local interest in underground film, art and punk rock, for instance, but there were suddenly dozens of events at new venues every week that escaped notice or were too subversive to merit the full attention of those two staid newspapers.

If nothing else, L.A. Weekly quickly filled a void that hadn't existed a few years earlier — a void of a void, if you will — eventually outdistancing such local alt-weekly rivals as Los Angeles Reader by having more comprehensive calendar listings of both mainstream and indie films as well as compiling virtually every major concert and tiny gig at local dives every week, alongside extensive listings for dance, theater, readings, politics and other events. These weren't just flat, dry recitations of show dates and times; wise-ass music writers such as the late Scott Morrow, classical-music maven Mary Beth Crain and music critic Jonny Whiteside took gleeful delight in goring the prevailing sacred cows of the 1980s (Whiteside continues to do so today) while championing iconoclastic new performers several years before the rest of the world caught up to them. Early editor/co-founder/publisher Joie Davidow had a lot to do with setting the tone of the newspaper's style and vision, and her efforts to make the Weekly embrace all the local sub-scenes in art and fashion were carried on in part by longtime calendar editor Sharon Bell.

As L.A. Weekly grew over the course of its first decade, the paper expanded to encompass a variety of distractions and provocations, from Matt Groening's "Life in Hell" comic (which continued running every week for years, long after the artist found fame as the creator of The Simpsons) to other recurring strips and columns by Lynda Barry, Carol Lay, Lalo Alcaraz and Robbie Conal, among others. The newspaper also championed the work of numerous artful and, on occasion, even daringly brave photographers, from Ted Soqui to Virginia Lee Hunter and many others. Hollywood punk princess Pleasant Gehman launched an audacious gossip column, "L.A. Dee Da," that was carried on over the years in evolving formats by archly witty and remorselessly wicked modern-day Rona Barretts such as Kim Jones and, later, Belissa Cohen. The Weekly's long-running astrology column, "Rocky Horoscope" by Rockie Gardiner, was a multilayered piece of scripture that traced the patterns and cycles of celestial bodies with an astronomical precision while being inlaid with cryptic riddles and pop-culture references that were richer, more detailed and, more often than not, uncannily accurate in mapping out readers' futures than generic horoscopes.

Throughout the '80s and into the early '90s, the Weekly was loaded with a diverse and motley assortment of distinctive columnists, staffers and freelance contributors such as Michael Ventura, Ginger Varney, Harlan Ellison and Steve Erickson. Early music editor Jonathan Gold eventually switched to covering restaurants — and not the stodgy, European-style "fine-dining" establishments that most other publications were focused on, as he ravenously tore through and explored this city's wide variety of cultures and street foods. Gold's replacement as music editor, former Bags guitarist Craig Lee, ushered in an era of wildly provocative, untamed writers such as Germs drummer Don Bolles, the incomparable punk stylist Shredder, the quietly subversive Felicia Dominguez and longtime staffer and prog-experimental connoisseur John Payne. Payne eventually was appointed music editor in the 1990s, following a series of more mainstream-minded editors who had often moved away from in-depth coverage of the paper's bread and butter and early raison d'etre, the local underground music scene. Under Lee and Payne, with input from associate music editor/unconventional jazz-metal critic Greg Burk, the Weekly's music coverage would evolve from fannish, punk-style writing to more in-depth, provocative, contemplative and/or insightful musings from such luminaries as Ernest Hardy, classical-music columnist Alan Rich and punk pioneer Brendan Mullen.

Both Lee and Payne recognized the rich variety of local music that was occurring across an increasingly wide variety of genres. Payne also revived L.A. Weekly's music awards for a short spell, after Lee started the annual series of popular award show/concerts in the late '80s.

During the Weekly's first decade, the newspaper was thoroughly unpredictable, with a sense of anarchy and frantic deadline excitement in the crowded, chaotic newsrooms in Silver Lake infusing the articles and columns with a freewheeling, jubilant, messy wildness. The atmosphere in the office was as eclectic as the content, with the likes of Ron Athey and Vaginal Davis (both renowned performance artists today), managing editor Kateri Butler, designers Bill Smith and John Curry, and music and art lovers in the production department, such as L7's Donita Sparks and The Mutts' Jacques Olivier.

After Levin stepped down from his multiple roles running the newspaper in 1992, the Weekly was sold and resold to a variety of sober-minded corporations including, at one point, a pet food company. The company expanded its copyediting and fact-checking departments, and the paper's prized news coverage headed in a more responsible and comprehensive journalistic direction in the following 20 years, with such dogged and persistent reporters, columnists and editors as Christine Pelisek, Patrick Range McDonald, David Zahniser, Gene Maddaus, Dennis Romero, Marc Cooper and Harold Meyerson breaking numerous important stories while confronting local, state and federal politicians with an unsentimental, unbiased and cynical perspective missing from other publications.

Much of the frenetic and boundary-pushing atmosphere of the old Weekly faded away under the various corporate owners, but newer writers in the '90s and beyond — such as incisive film editor Manohla Dargis, thoughtful film critic Ella Taylor, provocative columnist Erin Aubry Kaplan, witty staff writer Gendy Alimurung, fervent and tireless theater editor Steven Lee Morris, theater critics Lovell Estell III, Deborah Klugman and Bill Raden, and art mavens Peter Frank, Ralph Rugoff and Doug Harvey, among others — instilled a sense of higher, more intellectual standards while mixing their prose with unconventional imagery and revisionist views.

In the early '90s, Cohen's column became a celebratory yet skewering scenester chronicle everyone wanted to be in, while the Weekly's calendar section under Bell and the especially clever and irreverent writer Libby Molyneaux became the true bible of L.A., its extensive listings leaving little out in terms of things to do in Los Angeles. Pre-internet, L.A. Weekly's free print edition was in every record store, movie theater, cool retail shop and kiosk all over town, providing a guide to the city like no other, with special issues such as the Best of L.A., and issues dedicated to L.A. music, food and, later, the People issue (which grew out of the paper's "Considerable Town" offshoot column called "Considerable People"), experimenting designwise with multiple covers and glossy magazine stock versus its usual newsprint.

Having moved from its Silver Lake digs to the former Hollywood Reporter building on Sunset in the early '90s, the Weekly found its spiritual home in many ways. Mike Lacey's New Times Media took over the paper in 2002, in a complex deal with Village Voice Media (the parent company of L.A. Weekly until last year) that saw Jill Stewart replace news editor Alan Mittelstaedt. With editor-in-chief Laurie Ochoa at the helm along with associate editor Joe Donnelly, the Weekly went on to win more national journalism awards than any other alternative newspaper in the country (including a Pulitzer Prize for food writing for Ochoa's husband, Gold, in 2007).

By this time the influence of the web was undeniable, and more and more of the Weekly's content was migrating online, including popular pop culture–driven columns by Dave Shulman, Henry Rollins and Nikki Finke, whose "Deadline Hollywood" column became a watchdog for the entertainment industry. LAWeekly.com incorporated online slideshows and some video as well. In 2008, the Weekly's offices moved once again, this time to Culver City. VVM took the opportunity to issue budget cuts that saw many staffers ousted, including — despite the staff's successes — the top editors.

The most requested cover in L.A. Weekly history was the issue covering the death of Michael Jackson.

L.A. Weekly

Lacey had sold the Weekly to Voice Media Group in 2012 and the paper went through several personnel changes in the years that followed. But it always maintained a hard-working staff and a network of passionate freelancers, who continued to publish important stories reflecting the culture of Los Angeles with dedicated reverence, garnering many awards in the process. In 2017, VMG announced the sale of L.A. Weekly. It was purchased by Semanal Media in December of that year, with longtime art director Darrick Rainey named editor-in-chief and contributors who'd been working with the publication from several decades before joining the staff. The offices moved once again, in spring of this year, to the heart of downtown Los Angeles.

Through the country's most tragic and triumphant times, through the paper's own historical high points and low points, through acclaim and controversy, L.A. Weekly has endured, calling out injustices in social and political spheres, shining a spotlight on the city's creative culture, art and music, and bringing together a variety of voices and perspectives that reflect and embody our city and our world — male and female; cis and LGBTQ; Caucasian and people of color; young and old. Everyone who contributed in the past 40 years is part of this rich legacy. Here's to four more decades of doing so with the same expository vision, thoughtful approach and unfettered devotion.

Source: https://www.laweekly.com/news/la-weekly-a-look-back-at-40-years-of-irreverence-and-devotion-to-la-10101634

[bellafadiploma]

UNIT 2: The Truth About Everything

To start off this project, we talked to local poet and performer Jonny Fluffypunk, who gave us our brief. We were sent the transcripts from conversations between Jonny and his team and the people of a residential home. I read through all of the transcripts individually and underlined certian quotes I really enjoyed. Most of these turned out to be from the resident Della. I thought she had very interesting memories and insights, especially into things I’m interested such as ghosts and gender and such. Here’s a selection of the quotes i particularly liked.

DELLA: My father had a rat up his trousers once.

DELLA: Yes. I used to say ‘sweet things come in small packets’. And my husband says ‘So does poison’

JULIEN: A rat is a pirate. A mouse is a civilised animal but a rat is a real pirate.

DELLA: ‘Did you often get in trouble?’ Not often. But I did do things I shouldn’t do. Climb trees for a start. I loved climbing trees. I remember lying on the branch of a tree, it must’ve been half an hour, before the policeman went. He came to the playing fields and was looking around and I don’t know why but he suddenly decided to stay around. So I lay along the branch and waited for him to go. It seemed an awful long time

DELLA: I’ve seen a ghost. In Long Sutton. A man in a grey mac. 

DELLA: My cousin did… but it turned out that it wasn’t a ghost. It was a goat. In those days the toilet was outside, and Fred went out and he saw this white thing, and he reckoned it was a ghost.

DELLA: I saw my husband, when he was at sea. I woke up, and I could see my husband standing at the end of the kids’ cot. He stood there, and I said What’s the matter, Eric? Oh don’t worry, he said, it’ll be alright. And then he vanished.

DELLA: Frankenstein never came to our church. But you just think; if spiders were bigger than what they are… Like a tarantula? No. If they were six foot. Six foot in length. They’d be scary then. Absolutely.

EDNA: I always thought I was more beautiful than anybody else. I wasn’t.

What Piece Of Advice Would You Give Us For Life? EDNA: Shut up.

DELLA: She used to pull me along the road on roller skates. Tie a scarf around my middle, say here y’are, give it to the dog, and she’d take off up the road, pull me along. I fell over a few times.

DELLA:Well, our dog Sandy always sat in front of the fire with a budgie on his head. Every day. He’d sit there for hours, asleep... But Sandy knew the time. He could tell the time.

JS: You’ve always dreamed a lot? DELLA: One of my first dreams was when I was tiny; [...] I put the purse in one of the draws in the bedroom, and in my dreams the drawer opened and the little elephant popped out, and I was so afraid I ran, and the elephant run after me. So by the time I was finished dreaming, I’d got the whole house waking up…

JS: Is there any places you would go? Well, in 1963, as a student I went to Lourdes, to the village of St Bernadette. I had acne rather badly. [...] but that day, when I was in Lourdes, there was a storm, I got drenched, then as I say, from that point on, the spots started to disappear. But I didn’t go back. 

DELLA: I can’t remember how old he was. He was in the navy, in one of the destroyers, the arctic convoys. It was so cold, if you touched any metal without your gloves, it took your skin off.

_________________________________________

Here I have put the specific lines I liked in bold.

After deciding which resonated with me the most, I created some sketches

I also had a risograph induction the same day, and tested one of my ideas, which was the image of Della being pulled along the road on her rollerblades. It was just a two colour print but I really enjoyed how it turned out. The vividness of the colours and the sweetness of the blue and pink really helps push the narrative of a childhood memory. 

I decided after this that I wanted to do all of my pieces in risograph after a failed digital illustration attempt. I decided upon this after getting feedback that the story was not clear enough due to the composition of the policeman within the scene. I also think this piece didn’t work due to it looking to flat. I put everything in the foreground, giving the piece no sense of depth or space.

I did some research into different graphic styles for each poster, the ‘policeman’ story, I took inspiration from Enid Blyton illustrations and Tintin. I really like the very cute style of drawing eyes in Tintin, and so I took that into my illustration. I also really liked the look of the callipgraphy pens, so part of the lines are thicker than others, which can be seen in both Blyton’s and Herge’s work. The risograph, I decided should be as many colours as I could do, which is blue, black, yellow and pink. I used gradients and opacity to mix new colours which i think was very effective in the end, especially the sunset sky. I also reflected on my earlier statements about my first attempt at this illustration and added things into the background to create a sense of space.

For my ‘Poison’ piece, I took a lot of inspiration from comics and pop art obviously, but mostly I took inspiration from Roy Lichenstein, which is why i decided to use so much halftone in these pieces. From his work I also took the composition, where he often has a man and woman facing each other in profile. The colours I ended up using in the risograph were pink and blue again, as that combination is often used in reference to candy and other sweet things. The pink is almost sickly however, which adds that threatening dimension that the quote has. Also, my accident, the pink and blue could be said to reflect the energies of the male and female I suppose, if you ascribe to that idea.

for the ‘Frankenstein’ piece, I looked into comics again, especially late 80′s/90s style, such as The Mask, which utilised thick black lines and almost neon colours. I also looked into pulp book covers and horror movie posters for the sort of composition I wanted to use. I ended up going with a classic low angle, low yellow lighting, very much reminiscent of vintage horror films; combined with the halftone to bring it back to that comic book style. I then have Della at the bottom with the quote, as I felt that this piece needed maybe a bit more context.

I also designed another one to put through the risograph, but due to thinking it was a little too simple and not that readable, plus time constraints, I didn’t finish it.

Just before the project came to end, I experimented with doing some more traditional hand coloured drawings and testing colour theories at the request of Alan, however, due to time, none of these really came to fruition. 

Nonetheless, I am very pleased with the outcome of this project. I think the pieces are very striking and reflect the stories of Della faithfully, but still with a flair that means that they dont all necessarily need the context of the conversation and work as stand alone posters. I fell in love with the process of riso this project and would love to use it more in future if possible.

[danschkade]

PAGE x PAGE ANALYSIS — ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #69 (2005) with special guest AUD KOCH

Dan Schkade and Aud Koch (right)

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #69

PUBLISHED: Marvel Comics, January 2005

SCRIPT: Brian Michael Bendis

PENCILS: Mark Bagley

INKS: Scott Hanna

COLORS: J.D. Smith with Chris Sotomayor

LETTERS: Chris Eliopoulos

EDITORIAL: Ralph Macho with Nick Lowe

Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Bagley wrote and drew ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN for one hundred and eleven consecutive monthly issues. Can you even imagine.

(I, by contrast, drew WILL EISNER’S THE SPIRIT for twelve consecutive monthly issues and barely made it out with all my fingers still intact.)

Neither or them went into this cold — Bendis cut his teeth on a long series of hard-edged indie crime thrillers like AKA GOLDFISH and TORSO, while Bagley had been a regular Marvel Comics fixture since the eighties, with a strong history drawing Spider-Man in particular. But they both hit their stride on ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN, kicking out a new version of the character that felt fresh and familiar and, in the process, creating one of the most consistently entertaining superhero comics this side of EMPOWERED. My personal MVPs: their new versions of Aunt May, Daredevil, and the surprisingly affecting mega-narrative of the Ultimate Green Goblin. And that ending — ho man, that ending.

The issue we’ll be looking at this week, ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #69: “MEET ME,” takes place more or less in the middle of their mammoth hundred and eleven issue run. And that’s part of why I chose it — the goal of this feature is to take solid, workmanlike comics from professionals who know what they’re about and see what makes them tick, but also to see what we can learn from their mistakes. Mister Bagley’s credentials are unimpeachable; I’d place him up with John Romita JR and Andy Kubert as one of my top living artists of straight-up old-school Marvel-style Super Hero Comics. But mid-run slippage is inevitable, and sometimes the shortcuts of a good artist can be just as useful to pick apart as the abject failures of a bad one.

I also picked this issue because I thought it’d be a good fit for my guest: comic artist Aud Koch, one my favorite people to talk theory with and someone whose output I’m both impressed by on a peer level and super into on a fan level. Even though this is the first time I’ve had a guest on this feature and I only half know what I’m doing, Aud was still willing to sit down and help me beta test the tandem Page X Page Analysis experience like a mensch. Now, Aud’s the nicest person you’ll meet in a year, but she’ll also tell you exactly what she thinks and damn the torpedoes. She’ll make some poor young artist cry one of these days. She’ll feel just awful about it, too. My point is: I didn’t exactly pick her name out of a hat for this, y’know? 

With that, let’s go to the transcript!

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #69 and all characters contained therein are property of Marvel Comics, reproduced here solely for educational purposes.

PAGE ONE

DAN: So, Aud: are you of the opinion that a single issue should be a complete story in and of itself?

AUD: That depends on what the intention of the writer is. I think this one is fine without being that way — I mean, this whole series is set up like a teen drama show. They always have cliffhangers.

DAN: And “previously ons…” 

DAN: There’s certainly a lot more boring ways you could start an issue off.

AUD: It’s definitely eye-catching, but an immediate problem is: who’s the main character? You’d think from the first panel that it’s Liz. Or Johnny, who’s the one with the big action shot. But no, it’s actually those tiny little figures in the corner.

DAN: We’re not really getting much from her expression in panel one.

AUD: Which is a problem that I had throughout a lot of the comic. The expressions felt slightly off to me.

DAN: I would have to agree. The point of this exercise is not to nitpick, but sometime small details really do go a long way towards keeping a page from working.

AUD: Later on, there’s that scene that’s entirely just Peter and MJ standing around talking to Johnny for like four, five pages, so it entirely rests on the acting that Bagely does through characters, but there’s no movement happening at all. Bagley doesn’t do the thing where he makes everything a soap opera, which is good, but he also can leave his figures rather flat.

PAGE TWO

DAN: The game’s upped quite a bit here. I feel like we get a lot more from the expressions. Bagley has a great model for the Human Torch — he’s able to suggest emotions and facial details even though he’s all flamed up.

AUD: The artistry of the flames on Johnny is really beautiful. Looking at it now, these last three panels should have been the first ones of the issue.

DAN: Mm, yeah! We’d start off with Johnny looking down at our main characters. Because it really is Peter and Johnny’s interaction that the issue hinges on — Liz’s story is a secondary thing, even though she’s the first character we see in this issue. Bagley and inker Scott Hanna do a good job of suggesting the city in the panel one background, giving the scene a good sense of pace; They’re not in the Mojave desert, they’re on a beach near New York.

AUD: Something I found a bit distracting though is — what the hell is going on with that moon? Like, that’s not a moon! It’s a warty… mass!

DAN: Fair enough. And it’s funny because the city’s so nicely abstracted, while the moon is — I feel you there.

AUD: It’s like a giant tumor in the sky!

DAN: I also have a little problem with Liz’s motion in panel two.

AUD: Yes! She should be be running away from Jonny and off the page. That way she’d be looking back at him as she make her exit off the page.

DAN: Yeah, I think that would be better.

PAGE THREE

DAN: Here we have another juicy Human Torch splash image…

AUD: See, that’s another money shot — storytelling-wise, it would have made more sense if it was us looking up at Johnny from where Peter and MJ were standing, seeing him him shooting off into the distance from their point of view. This one looks like we’re about to follow Johnny off on some… flame adventure.

DAN: You’re right, it really does feel like we’re transitioning to his POV, when that’s clearly not what’s going on.

AUD: Bagley also didn’t take into account where speech bubbles would go. you can see that the letterer was like “what the fuck am I supposed to do?”

DAN: Yeah, they’re spillin’. He could’ve dropped the figures a little bit.

AUD: The only reason it doesn’t fit is because Bagley wanted to leave room for this image of Johnny shooting off, which again, storytelling-wise, doesn’t really work.

DAN: One thing I do really like about those bottom three panels — they’re this nice narrative unit, small and cramped and comic booky in the corner to offset the splashy sci-fi spectacle of Johnny shooting off into the night above. It makes MJ’s dialogue, which is think is pretty funny here, even funnier by comparison — it’s like a small comedy aside.

AUD: But then, they are the main characters…

DAN: They are the main characters! Good point.

PAGE FOUR

DAN: Alright, here we are back in the Baxter Building.

AUD: This is one where it was really, like, these expressions are so flat… it doesn’t carry the scene.

DAN: One art thing I have trouble with here… I don’t know if Sue is his mom or the same age as him. I have trouble placing her.

AUD: Well, the only reason you’d know that is because she says “little brother,” which I feel like Bendis might have added because it wasn’t clear.

DAN: It’s a problem when you have a character who’s supposed to be a teenager, which Sue clearly is —

AUD: Wait, she’s a teenager?

DAN: I mean, is she not?

AUD: [Laughs] She probably is…!

DAN: I mean, that’s a problem, we should know! And she’s wearing lipstick and whatnot…

AUD: It’s that hollywood syndrome! Women don’t wear makeup when they’re in let-down at home clothes. Ack.

DAN: That said, I think Bagley does a good job of moving the camera around. Even though there’s not a lot happening on this page, it’s not static. After Johnny says “leave me alone” in panel five, we cut to this nice, lonely panel with heavy shadows.

AUD: I don’t like the way they’re facing inward in that panel necessarily, though.

DAN: You’re rather maintain Johnny’s rightward positioning from the earlier panels, to maintain a sense of space?

AUD: I want his face to keep facing the bottom right corner, so if Sue’s off to the side, she’d be closer to the outside of the page, since she’s on the outside of him in the conversation.

DAN: Yeah! Johnny’s sitting still and staring in one direction, so we really should we moving around with Sue, not moving around with Johnny, who’s stationary. That’s a really good point. Also — I like the hot pretzel line in panel four. That was something specific to them that nicely places them as siblings. Sometimes that little element of specificity can really help sell a scene.

AUD: The devil is in the details!

DAN: The devil’s in the details.

PAGE FIVE

AUD: Bagley does do really good backgrounds. That feels like a school.

DAN: Mm! What are the elements that cement that for you?

AUD: Well, it’s not generic. The front of that building is really nice. That’s a building that I’ve never seen before, and that I haven’t seen in movies, which is good because that means he isn’t doing the pruned-down, basic idea of what a school should look like.

DAN: Yeah! And it’s still got the cement walls, it’s got the low ceilings and whatnot.

AUD: All of the people in the backgrounds are doing things, which is awesome. They’re not just standing around like props.

DAN: It’s true. And then also, they’re not overacting. You’re right, he’s really good at that. A couple nice little touches — the back of this guy’s t-shirt, the Home Ec textbook. We didn’t need those details to place it as a school, but they do add some variety. I feel like the pacing in these last three panels are not as good as the writing is. The panels three and four are setting up her reaction in panel five, so it’s weird to me that panels four and five in this sequence are sub-panels of panel three. I would rather have the first two take place in the same plane. Setup, setup, then payoff.

AUD: My major beef with the sequence is: the reason that she feels so bad is everyone’s laughing at her, right, but we can’t see the people laughing at her.

DAN: We should see them laughing! It might even be better if we switched it so  we don’t see many people in the panel three, and then see them all in panel five.

AUD: Yeah, do it so it’s just MJ and Liz at first, and you get the growing sense of her being surrounded by these glaring entities.

[Aud’s edit, version 1:]

DAN: Or! Have panels three and four right next to each other in their own row, then have panel five be a wide panel along the bottom of the page. I think that would be a superior version of an already fairly solid page.

[Aud’s edit, version 2:]

DAN: The scene is also very mid-2000s, which I appreciate.

AUD: That’s another thing with his setting! It does really look like the time period it was drawn in, which is fun.

DAN: Yeah, it’s not just the stock comic book teenagers. I think that’s why this series was so popular when it came out. It really did feel like high school, despite the fact nobody working on it was… matriculating.

PAGE SIX

DAN: I like that Johnny’s car is red. I think that’s a slick color cue.

AUD: The only thing I have to say is… Bagley consistently does these weird perspectives that throw you out of following who the main characters are supposed to be. Like, I don’t like that opening panel. There’s something off about looking down on them.

DAN: Ohh, yeah. That’s a good point. The camera isn’t down with them, it’s distant, it’s above. There’s a nice line of motion where Peter and MJ in panel one lead into Peter’s position in panel two, but then Bagely breaks it immediately by switching the camera around in panel three. That said, I do really like Johnny’s incognito-wear.

AUD: [Laughs] Talking about early 2000s…

DAN: Right? I love it. 

PAGE SEVEN

DAN: So, like you said earlier, these Peter and MJ talking to Johnny pages are a little bit — well, there’s not a lot happening.

AUD: I feel like the scenes where there’s just people standing around give you the most room to, like, wander and throw in creative things. Do fun acting, have them fidget. This does not do that.

DAN: I do like that close-up of MJ in panel two. It helps us identify with her; it sells her curiosity and her sympathy. A different version of this panel might have had her farther away, in which case that line could have sounded a lot more accusatory. I feel like this averts that.

AUD: All of these pages are superficially fine. There’s a good variation of sizes of faces… I don’t look at this like, “I don’t know how to read this,” which is nice.

DAN: Being able to read the comic is very important. Yeah, the drawings are all really attractive, the coloring is good as well — it works together well as a package. I think what we’re harping on here is unfulfilled potential.

AUD: Yes!

DAN: Speaking of color, I like what colorist JD Smith did with the sky. It sells the end of the school day really nicely and avoids being just “sky colored!”

PAGE EIGHT

DAN: I like the negative space on this page.

AUD: Yeah, that is interesting…

DAN: Really nice flow of action from panels one to three. Johnny’s head turns slightly between the first and third panel, which sells this beat of silence in panel two. And I like dropping out the panel border in three; it makes him feel alone and insecure. I wish there was more stuff like this in the issue.

AUD: And I wish there was more stuff like Peter’s stance in panel five.

DAN: Yeah! One foot up on the curb, one in the gutter. That’s really nice.

AUD: Whereas in all these other panels, they’re just standing straight. 

DAN: This is a very attractive final panel.

PAGE NINE

DAN: More great negative space on this page. You almost feel like Bagley started to get bored in this scene and started to change things up.

AUD: Which yeah, if only he had… done that earlier?

DAN: Same thing with Peter’s silhouette in panel three. It’s a really intelligent use of Peter’s design, indicating him by just his the line of his floppy hair.

AUD: Which, if I remember correctly, there was quite a bit of mocking of throughout every comic he appeared in.

DAN: And I like that! I like that Peter has goofy nerd hair. Because he’s a goofy nerd — that’s a big part of his appeal. When Peter Parker is too cool, he starts to fall apart, I think.

AUD: Panel six is bad.

DAN: [Laughs] Why is panel six bad, Aud?

AUD: Okay, so, once again, we’re coming from Peter and MJ’s perspective, but we’re in front of Johnny’s car. He’s driving into where we’re standing! Why would you not have him be driving away from the viewer? Bagley consistently puts the motion of action towards the viewer, and that doesn’t make sense to me.

DAN: It makes for a more dynamic image, but… it can make for muddy storytelling.

AUD: Yeah, it makes the motion come to a halt, because there’s nowhere for your eye to go.

DAN: I feel like this comic really thinks Johnny’s the main character. And I just… don’t… think he is. Maybe that’s on me.

PAGE TEN

DAN: More of that curious downward angle. Yeah, I’m with you — I’d rather have more environment shots from the ground. Because this doesn’t really tell me anything about the environment — all I get from this is that they’re still approximate to the parking lot. And as an artist, if you’re in a rush, you’re just begging to make technical mistakes if you keep shooting things from this angle.

AUD: Yep.

DAN: But, again, credit where it’s due, good job moving the camera around the characters. Nice full body acting in panel three — which is shot from the ground, and is super attractive. Maybe he should do more of that! I dunno! And Peter and MJ’s dialogue continues to be funny.

AUD: It’s delightful!

DAN: Bendis is aware this is magic, and he gives us a good amount of it.

AUD: Yes! Going back to the teen drama — what makes this so good is the personality of the characters and how much they come through. The dialogue carries it a whole lot.

DAN: This comic has a nice small cast —  you understand all their motivations, they all have distinct voices and personalities. The human element is really well put together.

PAGE ELEVEN

AUD: This page — I hate this page.

DAN: [Laughs]

AUD: Okay, I don’t hate it, but I have major issues reading it.

DAN: Tell me!

AUD: The first two panels are fine, but then — where the hell are you supposed to go??

DAN: That’s a good point! That’s a very good point. Now, If I block out panel three—

AUD: It works! You don’t need that panel!

DAN: Really, all we’d need is to change Johnny in panel four, from looking around to looking up at Peter. The reason why he’s looking around isn’t super clear — since Johnny is supposed to be under wraps, I’m assuming that when he sees Spider-Man, he’s looking around to see if there’s other costumed people who’re gonna jump him. We can do without that. 

AUD: Okay, other funny thing — as you said, Bagley thinks that Johnny is the main character. This is supposed to be from Spider-Man’s point of view, right? So the first shot should be from where Spider-Man is seeing him. Even if you don’t see Spidey in the shot.

DAN: Well, yeah, that would be a nice shot/reverse shot from panel two to panel three. It’s funny; in panel two, we actually WANT Bagley to do the down angle.

AUD: Yeah!

DAN: There’s an easy fix for this wonky reading order that keeps all the panels:

You drop panel three half an inch and make panel two a page-wide environment shot. It’s a subtle difference, but I think it strengthens the flow of the scene.

AUD: And also, why do we even need the time? Just to show it’s been a while since school got out?

DAN: It’s shows — He’s supposed to meet Liz at 5:00, and this shows it’s been… longer. It also shows that Spidey was allowing for the possibility that Liz would show up. He doesn’t just pop up at 5:00.

AUD: Ahhh, right. Okay. Yeah. But why is Johnny wearing the costume? Like, if he’s incognito, why is he wearing the Fantastic Four costume?

DAN; Well… I guess, in this universe, nobody knows it’s a Fantastic Four costume yet.

AUD: But he’s still obviously wearing some kind of uniform.

DAN: I dunno, maybe he just came from, y’know, street luging.

AUD: [Laughs]

DAN: Still rocking his street luge gear.

AUD: “…Street luge…”

PAGE TWELVE

DAN: Okay, so I really like the arc of Spider-Man’s movement on this page. It starts mid panel one, comes up and down in a nice arc across the top three panels. That’s really cool.

AUD: However; it would’ve made more sense to me if it started with his face pointing in some way towards the right.

DAN: I agree that would be a little bit better; even if his head was just cheated that way a little bit. I still think this works fine, but that would’ve been a slight improvement.

AUD: Even if the body was just flipped.

DAN: Ah, yeah, yeah! That’s good. Even just inverting Spidey’s position in panel one makes it that much smoother:

AUD: It still trips my letting thing. You want to read straight down from panel one into panel four.

DAN: Yeahhhh, that is unfortunate.

PAGE THIRTEEN-FOURTEEN

DAN: So, this is great.

AUD: Yes, except… okay, I do like it. But for me, it was another lettering issue. I feel like they were hesitant to put any dialogue in in panels two, four, and seven because there was so little room to the left of the fold. Maybe if those panels had been extended half an inch, they could’ve… I don’t know…

DAN: I think I disagree with you on this one. I think that they chose to make it a quasi double-page splash because Bendis wanted this moment to exist all at once, without risking it being split up by ads. I think that’s why it’s cheated over the fold this way. That said… the balloon placement in panel four is distracting.

AUD: Yeah, you can tell there’s all this space above Spider-Man’s head where the dialogue was supposed to go.

DAN: It really shoulda been there. If this were a digital comic, that would’ve been perfect. I does weirdly work quite well in panel seven…

AUD: Because they put dialogue there!

DAN: There you are, then. Even if Spidey had said “um” in panel four, just to full in that space, that would’ve been an easy fix.

AUD: So, okay, this is a big moment; but why is it a big moment? Peter’s already seen his powers. We already know that’s what Johnny does. Is it that he’s revealing his “Human Torch” name?

DAN: Well, It’s a big moment for Johnny. Again, this issue thinks Johnny is the main character. So it’s a big moment for him… Peter’s reaction is still genuine, it’s still surprising to see a person, y’know, light their hand on fire. And also, it’s the first time in this universe where The Human Torch and Spider-Man are on the same page, so there’s a little bit of a fan nod there, plus a little bit of this being Johnny’s moment to reveal himself to, he thinks, a new person. Some of it is just a nice juicy visual on which to hang the rest of the scene. The dialogue in this scene is great. I like the idea of this scene. Johnny’s life is actively inconvenienced by Spider-Man — the way his life is set up is a direct reaction to Spider-Man’s existence. But he likes Spider-Man a lot, so they’re being friendly.

AUD: I like… I think I have a thing against power imbalances. Like, Peter and Johnny are on the same level, but with this scene, it’s like hero worship. Johnny’s like a fanboy, and Peter just allows that imbalance to continue. That’s a personal thing, I just don’t like it — except that at the end of the scene, it switches, where Peter becomes the fanboy for Sue Storm. So I did like that.

DAN: Yeah! You see it in panel five, which is where Peter and Johnny actually become friends, but it’s also where you see Peter changing the subject of him being rich, trying to protect the idea of him being rich — read, “cool.” But here in panel seven, he can’t help but reveal he’s not cool, because he’s such a big fan of Sue Storm.

AUD: I will say, throughout a lot of these scenes of pure dialogue — again, this is just a personal preference —  you get these panels where there’s so much back and forth in the same panel, and I don’t like it. I like it when you get more of a focus on what the characters look like when they’re saying each individual line, so there’s more emotional hit to it. Here it’s all consolidated, so you don’t get as much personality from the characters.

DAN: Would you’ve liked if this comic had, let’s say, five more pages to it that just allowed a little more space for the back and forth between the characters?

AUD: Well, either prune down the dialogue, or… yeah, extend it, give the artist more room. But then again, I don’t know if Bagley would’ve really wanted more room — he doesn’t really seem to enjoy drawing these still dialogue moments.

DAN: Or maybe at this point he’s so used to them that he just kinda bangs ‘em out without thinking too hard. Which we could hardly fault him for.

AUD: Yeah! Issue… sixty-nine of a series?

DAN: Jeezy Petes. I don’t know if I already said something nice about JD Smith, but the colors are real swell here. The glow on Spidey’s chest in panel one.

AUD: One detail I really like is that his coat is actually on fire in panel two.

DAN: Oh yeah! That is a nice little touch. And now, this is an excellent final panel; an onomatopoeia leading off the page, they’re both looking in the same direction, off the page, towards the page turn, you gotta turn the page, you gotta know what’s gonna happen next…

PAGE FIFTEEN

DAN: I love this page.

AUD: Rrrrrreally.

DAN: I do! I do, and I’ll tell you why: It does the handoff of POV from character to character really effectively. So, this page is split into two equal circuits of storytelling. They have roughly the same layout; the first one is Spidey vaulting off — the webline’s going off the page in the right direction, he’s going off the panel into the negative space, it’s really dynamic. This is where Bagley’s ‘everything comes towards you’ thing really works. And then we end on Johnny’s reaction to this, which then transitions into the second circuit; this nice juicy Human Torch moment that mirrors Spider-Man’s. There’s a little joke, and then we stay on Johnny’s reaction in the last panel, a reaction that follows through from his other reactions on the page. So it’s a really effective handoff. And then, from the perspective of somebody who’s maybe meeting these characters for the first time, it’s cool to see how Spider-Man has to jump off the jungle gym and shoot a web and, y’know, he moves in THIS way, and meanwhile Human Torch can just straight up fly, he’s made of fire, he moves in THIS way… I mean, I could see experiencing this for the first time and really getting excited for these characters, the way they’re depicted on this page. What do you think?

AUD: That’s interesting, because I really disliked this page.

DAN: Ooh, tell me! Tell me why.

AUD: Well… I guess one of the things I’m personally most concerned about is the way the lines of action move within the structure of a single page. Not just the way that the characters are moving, but all of the composition. This page feels really cluttered to me; there’s all these different directions, and there’s so many different moments happening too, and none of them are given enough space.

DAN: In a way, I think you’re sort of right… what makes this page work for me is that there’s the two complete circuits, but a page is typically only supposed to be one.

AUD: What you said about Spider-Man having to climb off the jungle gym — I didn’t even realize that that’s what had happened there because there’s such a gap. I want to see him moving onto the jungle gym. In the first panel, I want more of a pause as they look at the smoke. I would’ve preferred smaller bits of them both going off.

DAN: Maybe we coulda cut down on some money shot panels and reallocated that space to give these two moments bigger moments on their own pages. I still really like this page, but I totally agree with your criticisms.

AUD: I also feel like that last panel should have maybe been the back of Johnny’s head, so we’re following him as he’s going somewhere? As it is, it’s just a static image of his face.

DAN: Mmm, yeah, I could see that.

PAGE SIXTEEN

AUD: It’s beautifully drawn. I really like the swoop of the smoke.

DAN: Yeah, Bagley’s smoke is really cool; all whispy and tendrily. It is a little bit weird to me that Spidey’s swinging left, into the page fold. I would rather have flipped Spidey’s figure so he’s facing right, maybe just jumping down with her in his arms, or with his web attached to the roof ledge. There’s some nice contrasting movement between Spidey and the smoke, but it’s still a little muddy to me.

AUD: Once more, who’s the main character on this page? You actually think it should be Johnny this time, carrying over from the last page.

DAN: Also: modern comics artists have finally stopped drawing that high-riding underwear on women, which I personally appreciate. Nobody liked that.

AUD: That was also never, like, a real thing that happened, even in the early 2000s.

DAN: This is a type of page layout I like a lot; you’ve got a tall, scene-setting panel, and then everything that follows is sort of a detail of that main setting. Panel two is nice; we’re clearly from Johnny’s perspective, looking down…

AUD: Except that time, it shouldn’t be! It should be focusing on Spider-Man!

DAN: Crap, you’re right! You’re totally right. The perspectives in panels one and two should be switched. We should be on the ground with Spider-Man and her looking up in panel two, and we should be with Johnny looking down on the scene in panel one.

PAGE SEVENTEEN

[Long, thoughtful shared pause]

DAN: Nice line of motion along those bottom panels… I hate this baby. I’m sorry.

AUD: That’s not a terrified baby! That’s a hungry baby opening its mouth for food.

DAN: I dunno, maybe she’s got a Spider-Man-colored bottle or something, so when he comes in the room she’s like, “oh thank god, I’m parched.”

AUD: I also don’t think panel four is entirely clear enough about what Johnny’s doing.

DAN: What if this panel were framed by the window? So we could see the fire going away from us, from inside the building, and towards Johnny.

AUD: Oh, that would be clever…

DAN: And then we can skew panel five just a little bit so it’s not just the same shot twice. Panel six is a really good panel.

AUD: It is a really good panel, yeah. Unfortunately, it is followed by a weird baby.

DAN: Oy. Such a weird baby.  

PAGE EIGHTEEN

AUD: Panel one immediately gave me the feeling that it should be flipped. The direction of motion — it doesn’t look like he’s jumping out of the building.

DAN: He’s just coming down from heaven with a baby.

AUD: That’s what this looks like. Also, it would have helped a whole lot of his suit was singed.

DAN: Or if smoke was trailing off him, yeah.

AUD: In panel two, why are we looking at this from the very above again? Do it from Peter’s point of view! Actually, wait — if you move panel four up next to panel one…

DAN: Oh, yeah, that’d work. Because the Torch panels don’t tell us… much. And Bagley and company have my sympathies here, because showing a contiguous stream of flame coming out of the building and towards Johnny? I don’t know how I would show that.

AUD: I think the flames themselves are fine, but the swoop of the smoke around the border of panel two gets me.

DAN: This is an instance where the old Marvel style of captions talking about what’s happening would really help you out.

AUD: I mean, you need to be really careful with captions… actually if he were muttering something…

DAN: Oh yeah! Like, “Oh my god, he’s drawing the flame out of the building” or something.

AUD: Yeah! Yeah, that would work.

DAN: Or a panel where the babysitter like “What’s going on” and Peter’s like “I-I-I-I think he’s drawing the flame out of the building” and she’s like “How is he doing that” and he’s like “[weird noise plus awkward shrug]”

AUD: See, and that would have been awesome, just to add more personality and some nice moments between Peter and the crowd.

DAN: I mean, sure, he’s amazed at the Torch in panel four, but this would really sell the — well, anyway.

PAGE NINETEEN

AUD: We've talked about unfortunate ad placements before; I’d just like to point out that those are DC characters in a Marvel comic.

DAN: Right as things seem at their most dire — Batman and Superman pop up!

AUD: Come to save the day!

DAN: We got this, guys, don’t even worry about it. So, this page: I understand what’s happening here, but I wouldn’t if I hadn’t read a bunch of other comic books.

AUD: …Yes, because there’s not a sense of him getting rid of anything, it’s more like he’s channeling the energy to blow something up.

DAN: Yeah. That said, I like the sweeping top left/bottom right motion of the clouds, which adds a nice parallax to the bottom left/top right motion of the flames. And at least there, it’s popping off the the page, away from us.

AUD: And up where people are looking.

DAN: Yes! They’re following the line of action. That’s quite good.

AUD: And the colors on this panel are beautiful.

DAN: They really are. JD Smith clearly knows how to bring out the warmth and energy of the flame with these nice cool background colors. I have no idea why the cough was lettered like that —

AUD: I thought it was hilarious. It was for comedy, right, ‘cause he’s actually saying “cough?”

DAN: Oh! [Laughs]

AUD: At least that’s how I interpreted it, as a humor beat.

DAN: But then as we go on, we see that he’s actually coughing ‘cause of smoke inhalation.

AUD: Is he?

DAN: Here, put a pin in that, we’ll come back to that. That’s mostly a nitpick on what is overall a very strong page.

PAGE TWENTY

AUD: What the…?

DAN: What is happening in this first panel?

AUD: I think that’s Johnny flying off.

DAN: Oh!

AUD: To the park, to meet him again?

DAN: Yes.

AUD: But.

DAN: Maybe Johnny could have been smoldering there a little, in panel two?

AUD: You could have just not had panel one and have them just meet up again in the park.

DAN: Again, my sympathies to Bagley, because this flame stuff is… it doesn’t exist in the real world, so he’s gotta hack it out.

AUD: I do love the trails of the smoke in panel one. And that looks like a fucked up building.

DAN: Although! I think the colorist let us down a little there. This flamey bit coming out of the building should be smoke. It shouldn’t still be on fire.

AUD: That’s… definitely true! So: who’s the main character in this scene?

DAN: On this page, it seems like they’re both the main character. And after the scene we just had, I’m cool with them being equally important on this page.

AUD: Yeah. The jump between here and the next page wasn’t clear to me, though.

DAN: No. I mean, it’s a funny bit! I get it. But.

AUD: The ending on his face at the end of the page just didn’t hit right. I do like that body movement in panel three.

DAN: Again, when Bagley chooses to do acting, he does a really good job.

PAGE TWENTY ONE

DAN: Okay, so here’s where the downward angle really works. Again, I would have liked to have a little flame coming off him in panel two to show the transition from Torch to normal. Overall, I like this scene a lot. Like, Johnny having to lose his jacket is a nice narrative device to show the sacrifice of heroism.

AUD: Plus a metaphor of the police getting him. I will say that in all the comments about the acting, all of it was passable — except for panel four.

DAN: Really! Why?

AUD: Just bad acting!

DAN: You just think it’s, what, cheesy?

AUD: It’s cheesy and it does the soap opera thing.

DAN: Ah, fair enough. The script description, I assume was “Johnny lets the moment land, feels proud of himself.” Tough to pull off. But I hear ya.

AUD: And also he’s facing…

DAN: Yeah, have him face the other direction. Although, I do kind of like him looking off, taking this moment to himself —

AUD: But that’s part of what bugs me the most! Like, look at panel three — they’re not looking at each other. They don’t seem to be in the same interaction.

DAN: I think this page is a good example of problems with placing figures in space that Bagley has throughout.

AUD: Especially scenes that are just dialogue.

DAN: The scene were MJ and Peter are talking to Johnny in the parking lot earlier is helped because Johnny’s leaning against a landmark; his car. But when they’re a little more free form like this, the figures start to drift around.

AUD: I love that last panel.

DAN: It’s a great panel. I love the lighting on Spidey.

AUD: Johnny’s… beautiful?

DAN: [Laughs] He’s very pretty.

PAGE TWENTY TWO

DAN: Final page.

AUD: Another money shot of him! How many are in this fucking issue!

DAN: [Sighs.] I guess if I were choosing to defend this, I would say the initial money shot on page one —

AUD: Was fine.

DAN: Yes, it sells the chaos and the fear of what’s happening. This next one on page three —

AUD: Nope.

DAN: — if I wanted to defend it, I would say that was, like, Johnny flying off into the sky like Frankenstein’s Monster, and then this last one is him flying into the sky like a hero. It’s a progression.

AUD: [Snort.]

DAN: Your milage may vary. More great sweeping motion of the clouds that create a contrast to him flying away at us —

AUD: Another example of things flying out of the page. 

DAN: This is just a personal thing, but I would have broken the panel boarders here at the top and had his hands reach out into the bleed.

AUD: Yeah, if he’s gonna do the big moment where he comes out towards you, have him come out towards you!

DAN: And panel two is a funny final beat that undercuts this big heroic moment with Peter coughing — that’s solid. The birds are bit much.

AUD: The buildings are nice, though. He draws nice buildings!

DAN: He does! He’s really good at drawing this comic. Mark Bagley, shocker, is a really good guy to be drawing a Spider-Man comic. He’s good at buildings, he’s good at dynamic action — he is good at acting. I think in this issue, we just see him being a little bit on auto pilot. There’s not a lot we can say is really wrong with this issue.

AUD: Yeah, if I picked it up I would happily read it. The structural elements of it were perfectly passable.

DAN: Yeah! It’s well-written. It keeps moving. And the final action set piece is a nice way to get them to team up and learn about each other, but only be interacting with each other; they don’t have to fight anybody. Y’know, Paste Pot Pete doesn’t show up and they have to team up against him.

AUD: This is the exact kind of comic I would love to have drawn! Yeah. It’s good. Well written. Very well written.

DAN: You could be a hell of a lot worse.

***

You can buy a copy of this issue on Comixology, along with every other issue of ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN. 

You can also pick up Aud Koch’s Marvel Comics debut, last week’s ULTIMATES 2 #7, written by Al Ewing with colors by Dan Brown -- which I highly recommend. 

Check out Aud’s website, and hit her up on twitter! She’s always posting new art -- including some Spidey and Torch stuff that gives you an idea what this comic might’ve looked like if Aud had ghosted Bagley.  

As always, feel free to check me on any mistakes I/we might have made, add your own commentary, or share similar examples of good comics done well. I’ll be back next week with a different comic to peruse. 

Be well!

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THE SHADOW STRIKES! #13

PETER PARKER: SPIDER-MAN #13

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[vileart]

Cannon Dramaturgy: The Florence Theatre Company @ Edfringe 2017

Cannonball 

by The Florence Theatre Company

Greenside @Royal Terrace – Jade Studio

4-26th August (excl. 13th and 20th), 4:10pm – 5pm, £8/6

http://ift.tt/2sJC0bO

To book tickets visit tickets.edfringe.com

Finding the Faust in the Everyman at Edinburgh Fringe

The Florence Theatre Company’s first Fringe show, Cannonball follows the boyish and irreverent Andrea, taking a darkly comic look at the compromises we must take to become adults. 

Somewhere between all of the sex, drugs and FIFA, we grow up. The play includes interludes of Goethe’s Faust, drawing parallels between the Romantic tragedy and the pain and confusion of the modern world.

In addition to the naturalistic drama, Cannonball features projections of original film and a soundtrack composed by up and coming band PAEN. The play is a new, acerbic look at the decisions young people face and how maturing often feels like losing yourself.

What was the inspiration for this performance?

The production centres around a period of life which we ourselves are currently going through. It’s about the transition from structured life of school and university to adulthood, where you are the one that must make the choices which decide the course of your life. We were excited by the idea of tackling something so personal, and to address head on our own fears of what our future holds, and that led us to developing Cannonball.

Is performance still a good space for the public discussion of ideas? 

Absolutely - performance teaches empathy, it trains us to consider another person’s life and to make an effort to understand it. This is why we have always been fascinated by the idea of an anti-hero, someone who gives you every reason to dislike them, yet your understanding of how their environment and their choices led them to where they are allows you to see past their “evilness” and forces you to reconsider your own ambitions and failures. 

Performance challenges your preconceptions about people and ideas, and does so through revealing the inner humanity of even the most questionable moral choices, inviting you to accept or reject them. We can cite here the Neorealist movement of Italian cinema after World War II, an expression of a nation’s desire to renew their culture and express their remorse.

How did you become interested in making performance?

Neither of us really remembers a time when we weren’t interested in performing and putting on shows. It started as children, making short videos together for our own amusement, and slowly building on that passion as we grew up in different schools. We regularly talk about the way plays or films that we’ve shape our personalities and how we behave in certain situations, and we’ve always been excited by the idea of affecting someone through something we create, just as our lives have been significantly affected by what others have created. 

Is there any particular approach to the making of the show?

Although we like to play with surrealism our key approach is always in grounding the characters. We employ many Stanislavski techniques to develop characters and backstories, especially using improvisation of events that are mentioned in the script, exploring our own memories and applying them to the context of our characters, and a rigorous analysis of intentions throughout the text. 

During rehearsal we adopt an approach of total honesty, and we must unanimously agree on something for it to become part of the show. This inevitably results in a lot of arguing and discussion, but the constant challenging of each other’s ideas always leads us to find the best solution.

Does the show fit with your usual productions?

Our imperative is always to provoke the audience to think about the story. We dislike the idea of the audience leaving the play and, even if they enjoyed it, immediately forgetting the elements of character we were trying to evoke. Therefore, in this show like in our past show, we put a heavy emphasis on ambiguity. 

We work out the entire ins and outs of the story during the rehearsal period but only reveal a small part of it, so that the audience has to apply their own interpretation to what happens in order to make sense of it, while still being able to witness fully fleshed out characters. This is a defining characteristic of the type of shows we like to do, and one which I hope will be present in all our productions. 

What do you hope that the audience will experience?

We try not to anticipate the audience reaction too much, but we hope that they will be fully engaged throughout the piece, and that the ending will lead them to think back on everything they saw to search for clues as to how the characters end up where they do. 

Even if they end up rejecting the ideas we bring to the table, that would still be a result of an engagement with the ideas which is what we ultimately strive for.

What strategies did you consider towards shaping this audience experience?

We relish in dancing the line between comedy and tragedy, much to the discomfort of the audience. One of the techniques we love using is constantly keeping the dialogue on a comedic slant as the context of the scenes slowly moves from pure comedy to exasperating tragedy, and almost tricking the audience into laughing at something they know they shouldn't have. 

This allows us to be in total emotional control of the theatre space and creates a continuous line throughout the play which the audience can confront the story and the characters against. We think this invites the audience to constantly look back on everything they’ve seen to search for causes for the change in dynamics, and this is where the key themes and ideas of the play come out, in engaging with the reasons for why the characters behave in the way they do.

Penned by UEA student Ned Caderni, who in 2016 was placed in the ‘somewhereto_’ Hall of Fame for his independent productions in Norwich. Notably, his production of Edward Albee’s Seascape was lauded by Concrete arts reviewer Jonny Walczak for “[unlocking] the beauty and melancholy of Albee’s play”.

Founded by Ned Caderni and childhood friend Alberto Lais, The Florence Theatre Company has self-funded following their near sell-out original show America, which played at The Chelsea Theatre in London in 2015 and The Norwich Puppet Theatre in 2016. Livewire 1350 reviewer Alec Mann hailed America as “one of the funniest plays I've seen”. The company aims to create bizarre yet thoughtful works which both engage and provoke the audience, always walking the line between comedy and tragedy. 

from the vileblog http://ift.tt/2ttF5tx

[themillionairesclub]

PATRICK KYLE!

Artist and RISOmaster Patrick Kyle has been self publishing so many zines that one can lose track of them. Thanks to Patrick that most of them are numbered. “Distance Mover”, “New Comics” and “Special Friend” were and are ongoing series that came out as beautifully RISO-printed books. Patrick has two books out with Torontos finest publisher Koyama Press. „Distance Mover“ and „Don’t Come in Here“.

We love Patricks work and are so happy that he’s coming all the way from Canada to show his drawings and sell his zines and books at The Millionaires Club! Patrick is showing his work at Hopfe (Kolonnadenstrasse), March 24th-26th, Opening reception: March 24th, 7pm Also him and Gina Wynbrandt will be live on Kubshow @ Radio Blau, March 25th, 8 pm On Sunday, March 26th, 3 pm there will be an Artist Talk with Patrick and Gina in their exhibition.

Toronto seems to be a paradise for Cartoonists with the great annual comic festival TCAF, the publisher Koyama Press and The Beguiling, a legendary comic book shop. Can you tell us a bit about the local comic scene? I might not necessarily call it a paradise - Toronto is a fairly expensive city to live in and as cartoonists, artists, illustrators etc, we're normally living off limited resources. That being said, there are a lot of avenues here in which to exhibit and sell your work here and there's great support for comic launches and other events from institutions like The Beguiling and Koyama Press. Weird Things (a gallery and antique shop operated by Jonny Peterson) has been great in showcasing a lot of weirdo artists and cartoon inspired work over the last few years.

You’re still self publishing a lot besides being published by Koyama Press. What are the benefits of printing your own books for you? I'm incredibly thankful to be working with Koyama Press - having the support of a publisher with the resources to make larger print runs and access to distributors is really amazing and It's been very beneficial for me in reaching a broader audience. Book making has been part of my practice since the start. I love doing it and I like being able to make small books with short print runs that are only available directly from me.

„Don‘t come in here“ is quite long compared to your zines. How did you work out the rhythm of that narration? How did you compose the scenes with each other? It wasn't a huge jump from working on zines because the whole book is comprised of short vignettes. I had an overarching narrative in mind when I started but I was able to play around with it a lot and move pieces of the story around as I went in order to find the right rhythm.  

There are some really funny movements depicted in „Don’t come in here“. Which role does animation play in your work? Don't Come in Here is (maybe) the first thing I've done that has this sort of cinematic/animation like approach. I don't necessarily think that comics should be storyboard-like or should be easily translatable into animation. Comics are really a different medium and cartoonist should be eager to capitalize on these differences. My other books (Black Mass + Distance Mover) have no traditional panels - the information is sort of just laid out of the page and the reader has to figure out how to follow it as they go. I had a lot of fun making comics this way, but that approach prevented me from having any cinematic-type pacing or any drawn out sequences.

Are you working a lot on the single drawings of your characters or is it rather a one-shot? I'm not sure what you mean by this. Do you mean do I do a lot of character design work before hand? Figuring out what the characters look like ahead of time? I don't really do that - I just start working and the characters just are whatever they are.

Which (Comic)Artists do you cherish? Too many to consider, but heres a few off the top of my head: Phillip Guston, Mark Beyer, Brian Chippendale, Barbara Rossi + All of my friends and peers in Toronto.

Your ongoing series ‚Special Friend‘ is about a friendship ( maybe a dependency?) between two characters named Babylon and Durgie. Can you describe the character of their relationship? Will they ever find satisfaction and peace? Special Friend has a pretty simple concept - one of the characters is bad (Babylon) and the other one is good (Durgie). Neither of them is really inherently good or bad, though Babylon often states that he is 'Mean' and he often pretends that he doesn't like Durgie or doesn't know him. His scheming and mischievous behaviour are usually only to attract Durgie, whom Babylon secretly reveres. Durgie is always optimistic and loves Babylon, though because Babylon has such internalized dislike of himself, he doesn't believe that Durgie loves him and goes to great length to impress him, which sometimes tires Durgie out. I think they complete satisfaction and peace in their disfunction - without it there wouldn't be a comic to make!

Do you have a script for the dialogues? No - I always just make it up as I go. Occasionally I'll make a mistake or change dialogue and you can see where I've scribbled a word out. They come together in under 5 minutes usually.

The world most of your characters live in is charmingly chaotic, it makes me think of a dismembered user manual tenderly put back together. How do you create these landscapes and rooms? Also (but that might go too far): Is this reflecting your view on the world in any way? I honestly think this style has developed from a lack of ability - I avoided drawing backgrounds in my early comics because really didn't feel confident doing it. I would just leave a lot of white space and/or draw a bunch of weird esoteric objects around to fill space. I obviously feel a lot more confident depicting backgrounds and spaces now - but I think that floating-in-the-void approach has evolved into something that is characteristic of my style.

How does a Kyle-(work)day look like? It's always varied - this week I'm just relaxing and putting mail orders together. I just finished work on my next book for Koyama Press, and that schedule day-to-day was more hectic. Since the beginning of January I was drawing about two pages a day in order to finish the book on time. That varied as well thought - other obligations come up; you never know when someone will want to hire you for an illustration, and I'm also teaching twice a week at OCADU here in Toronto. I have to be pretty vigilant in how I use my time. I'm looking forward to starting something new in the next week or so that I'll debut at TCAF.

Thank you, Patrick! See you soon in Leipzig!! more work by Patrick: http://www.patrickkyle.com https://www.instagram.com/patrick.kyle/?hl=de https://twitter.com/_patrickkyle