#Just noticed how limited my vocal range seems in this song...

[emile-hides]

H*lding H*nds Imagines

I am once again making content for me and me alone because I have an unhealthy obsession for BNHA blond boys

BNHA Blond Boys X GN!Reader h*nd h*lding moments

Characters: All Might, Present Mic, Fatgum, Twice, Aoyama, Ojiro, Kaminari, Bakugo, Honenuki, Monoma, Mirio

All Might

Knuckle brush

You handed him things before

Stacks of papers to grade, coffee after a long day, a napkin when he goes into a coughing fit

But something about this time turns his face a deep red

He withdrew quickly, in a jerking manner that dragged more attention than you’re sure he meant it to

He cleared this throat and thanked you quietly before shuffling off

It took a few moments to really set on you

You’d made contact

Such little contact you’d barely even felt it

He was cold, his skin rough and calloused, wrinkled and dry

How you managed to notice so much with such brief contact is astounding

And also incomparable to how much he noticed

He’s thinking about it all day, glancing at where the contact was made, shuffling, flushing to himself, holding his knuckles to his lips

Do it on purpose next time you hand him a stack of papers and he’ll drop them

Present Mic

In a crowd

It’s LOUD

You and Hizashi are trying to get home after a live show

The crowd is huge and still hyped from the concert

The quarters are tight, the space is limited, and without his towering hair spike it’s hard to keep track of your loud blond

Eventually a strong clasp from a hand horribly decorated in rings, fingerless gloves, and black nail polish claps on your wrist as your continued to be pulled though a crowd

When the world finally starts to calm and you have room to breath his hand slides to connect to your palm

Fingers intertwine with yours as a series of “Y’all good?”s start, followed quickly by an excited narration of the chaos that just ensued

He’d taken your hand so causally you barely even noticed

The two of you walked in a much calmer crowd, hand in hand, as Hizashi randomly picked bystanders out of his vocal range and made up their life stories to tell you

Fatgum

Big hands

You laid idly on the couch in Fatgum’s office, the interns long sense gone home

A pile of paperwork blocked your view of your hard working hero as he sat at his desk

You slumped and slid off the couch, boredom rising as you phone lie dead on the table nearby

A loud groan drives a “Just a bit longer, gumdrop” from behind the piles of unfinished work, a bit longer could be years for all you cared

Sliding across the hardwood floor on your back, you found yourself beside Taishiro’s desk, looking up at him from an angle you were rather use to

He was focused, with a smile still on his face as he worked, writing with one hand, the other causually turning Takoyaki in the grill built into his desk

You sat up, watching quietly. He was typically pretty observant, but he may not yet have noticed your approach

When his hand stopped turning and released, you took your chance

Both your hands snatched his wrist, sitting up a bit to rest yourself on his lap, you examined his large palm

He chuckled, “What’cha doin’, cupcake?”

His hand was massive in your own, enough to make anyone feel like a child. It could engulf you, hold half your torso and still have a pinkie to spare

You pressed on his palm, he hummed and returned to work, leaving you to admire as you pleased

His knuckles were scarred, several gashes and scrapes from punching at materials harder than even his fat could handle

Old burns from cooking, white spots on his finger tips from a time before he learned patients

You leaned back on him, holding his hand in your own, and watched him work

He seemed much more blissed from your company

Twice

Not enough hands

Jin’s a very physical person

He hangs off you every chance he can get, coddling and loving on you

He finds it annoying

So it’s not surprise as you two settled down for a movie night he was instantly on your lap like a cat

He lays over you like a blanket, limbs tangled every which way, head on your chest, looking at you more than the movie

One of your hands lay idly by your head, that one he has his own over, fingers tangled messily, almost uncomfortably

His other arm trapped under you, a hug from below, resting also uncomfortably against your spine

Leaving your free hand to tangle in his hair, a rare sight to have his mask off, though it probably wouldn’t last the whole movie, it should be cherished until then

When you notice his staring at you more than the screen, you choose to join him

You slide your hand from his hair to his cheek, he leans into it with the most lovestruck puppydog look a man his age could muster

He then starts to fidget around, moving like he’s stuck

It doesn’t take long from there for him to start getting frustrated with himself, splitting an argument for two between just him

You gently lift his head to regain eye contact and ask what’s wrong

He nearly starts crying

“I want to hold your cheek too but I don’t have enough hands!!”

He’s not willing to remove your hand from his hold or pull his other arm out from under you to compromise his own needs

He does eventually start crying over his lack of extra limbs to love you with

Aoyama

Standing ovation

Roaring applause rippled thought the auditorium

It wasn’t a big show, or a big stage, but it was your first written play, and seeing it go over so well was enough to bring a tear to your eyes

You joined the audience in standing to applause as the actors took the stage for the final bow

Only the lead, your star, wasn’t there with them

You blinked once, twice, three times before panic set in

There’s no way Yuga Aoyama would miss the chance to stand center stage in a spotlight. If he wasn’t on stage something must have happened

You tried your best not to look around too fervently, not wanting to startle anyone else

When a hand clasped yours

“And let’s not forget the playwright~✨”

Before you could question how he said that with his mouth, you were dragged onto the stage by your previously mentioned star, with his own mic in hand you don’t remember giving him

He held your arm up above his head as he runway walked his way along the stage, you closely in toe

You were going to go on stage eventually but you’d planned to be a lot more quiet about it, when more people had left early not wanting to sit though the applause

But instead, here you were, center stage, hand held high like you’d just won a boxing match by your own and only Aoyama

How he could stand being this bright all the time way beyond you

For now though, it was rather nice 

Ojiro

Lost and found

You stepped out of your class stretching, ready for a well deserved lunch break when you heard your classmates muttering

“Isn’t he from the hero course?”

“What’s he doing?”

Being nosy wasn’t usually your strong suit, but the mutterings has peaked your interest

You followed the eyes of those speaking to find a blond boy sitting in the floor of the hall, knees pulled to his chest to keep his legs from disrupting the flow of traffic, with his tail resting over his feet to protect them from being stepped on

He smiled and gave a light wave to your class as the dispersed

You alone approached him, curiosity peaking. Why was he sitting out here in the hall?

When question he very sheepishly answered, “I, uh.. I got lost on my way to class”

There was several things wrong with that

Number one being, he’d been at this school half a year now. He has one classroom, a big classroom, in the hero course. It’s not easy to miss??

Number two, it was noon. Lunchtime. He has one classroom. How long had he been lost???

These questions had answers and he was, while slightly embarrassed, happy to share he had, in fact, been lost all morning. Not just in finding his class, but also in finding the exit to the building, any teachers he knew, or his phone to call for help

You began to feel sorry for the guy, as this seemed to be a common occurrence in his daily life

With a sigh, you offered your hand to help him up

It was lunch, for all courses, so surely he’d see his hero course classmates in the cafeteria. No one turns up Lunchrush’s food after all

He smiled and took your hand, lifting himself from the floor with a thankyou

“I’m Ojiro, by the way. You are...?”

He was rather polite to talk to the entire walk, his grip on your hand was soft, gentle, and his smile never seemed to waver

Kaminari

Swing yer partner round and round

“Oh this is my JAM!”

Mina excitedly turned up your shitty little radio before kicking herself up off the floor, grabbing Sero all in one quick motion

The two danced horribly off beat, you quickly guess Mina had never heard this song before in her life, just wanted to get moving

“Come on you two, it’s dance break time!”

You found yourself enraptured with her energy, already forgetting the homework you all were doing

Kaminari took your hand much like how Mina took Sero’s and began to dance just as off beat and spuratic as queen pinkie had

You laughed, stumbling with every step, same as the others, the giggling energy filling a previously silent room

Denki’s fingers dug into your knuckles as he smirked, suddenly spinning on his heel and dragging you with him

The two of you became a tornado in your tiny dorm room, barely keeping from knocking into your tea table as you spun like a couple of children

You could hear Mina cheer and laugh, a brief glanced told you Sero was recording this silly moment

You looked across the way at your dance partner

Spinning, laughing his head off like this was the most fun he’d ever had, eyes closed, caring not for his surroundings

You decided to let go

The momentum sent you both toppling, you safely into Mina, who was more then ready to catch you

Denki got the much less desirable aforementioned tea table, which sent him toppling backwards over the also aforementioned homework

If you all could have laughed any louder, you would

Bakugo

Sweaty hands

You always knew when Bakugo was going to hold your hand

He may think he’s smooth, wiping his hand on the pocket of his pants before reaching behind himself to grab at you

But you’d always notice

It was a good indicator you were walking too slow for his liking, or the area up ahead was crowed, or that he simply felt you were too far away

You couldn’t initiate holding hands, when he didn’t actively want to be in contact he’d keep his hands shoved deep in his pockets

So you just had to wait for him to wipe himself off and reach for you

You were free to wrap yourself around his arm whenever, though

He’ll look pissed, but won’t say a word

And if you move away, he’ll wipe his hand on his pants, and offer it to you, a silent plea for you to come back

Honenuki

Magic hands

You stretched out over the couch of the 1-B common room with a whine, the rest of your class in a similar state

Training was hell today, sparing with class 1-A was never a joke, and with Monoma egging the whole game up to be more than it should have been, it all just escalated to a point you all wish it hadn’t

“Alright, next.”

Honenuki, a godsend, your blessed angel, helped Tsuburaba off the second common room couch, his typically wide eyes closed and relaxed as he wobbled his way across the room

You happily took his place, stretching out on your stomach before your classmate with the magic powers of massage

His hands pressed into your back and you instantly relaxed, letting out a low hum as you snuggled the pillow under your chin

Honenuki returned your hum, his hands pressing into all your tenses spots, almost instantly releasing them from their knots

You’d probably have fallen asleep, if it wasn’t over so fast

He had the entire class to get though after all, though he hated to rush an art form

You took his hand as he helped you stand, the actual minute of his touch enough to wobble your legs

Kissing his knuckle and thanking him for sharing his magic, you found yourself plopped peacefully on the couch beside Tsuburaba

Honenuki chuckled at you as he called next, happy to be of service

Monoma

He’s showing off

You’d known for a while now Monoma didn’t know how to shut the fuck up

He’d brag about anything, over anyone, to everyone

He’d always loudly bragged about how much better his class was, how much stronger his friendships were, how absolutely amazing his partner was

You being said partner didn’t make said bragging less annoying

The two of you had been together less than an hour and he was already boasting about your perfection to all who would hear

Some genuine, loving, almost gaggingly sweet comments

Others just to rub it in the face of class 1-A as much as possible

A week into this relationship and people were starting to think you must be come kind of god with how Monoma spoke about you

You’d been on two dates with the guy

Now here you were, holding his hand on the walk to class, and regretting every step

As every single person who passed must take note of the fact you were holding his hand

And also must be aware how blessed he is to be holding your hand in return

And really you started to understand the concerned look Kendo gave you when you told her you’d agreed to date Neito Monoma

Still his words were genuine, no matter how they came across, and he truly had a million and one things to say about you

So you could hold though the embarrassment his overexcited bragging may cause

He just wants to show you off

Mirio

Quietly

You sat by his bed side, holding gently to his limp hand

Moments ago he was inconsolable, crying and screaming his lungs out

His quirk gone

His teacher gone

Everything he worked so hard for seemed to vanish in an instant

His grip, still so strong, had left your hand bruised, circulation cut off

It wasn’t a concern you really had

Sleeping, his pain was still so obvious

Bags under his eyes, dried streaks of tears still down his keeps

And your hand still tightly gripped in his

What would happen next, where he would go, who you all would become

They were all problems for the future

Tomorrow you could work on a solution

Tonight, you could hold his hand

[mourntheantagonist]

Not really a HC but imagine Billy singing along to his favourite songs (badly) while using a dildo for a mic. How would Steve react?

hold on one sec

*screams*

ok I’m better now

***

A little known fact about Billy Hargrove is that, in the privacy of his own bedroom, he loves to sing and dance. He loves to turn the volume up to the highest setting to the point picture frames hung on nails begin to rattle on the walls in their own percussive chorus and he can no longer hear his own thoughts. Channeling whatever emotion or plurality of emotions he’s feeling that day into the movement of his body to a rhythmic beat and the shredding of his vocal cords as he belts notes too high for his limited range.

It’s the only other way he’s known how to deal with his anger other than with his own fists. He’s only ever known destruction as a coping mechanism. Fists to the wall or fists to the jaw. This was option c.) fists to the air.

He let himself look ridiculous. Because he was alone. Free to let completely loose. Singing as loud as he could, no way he’d be heard over the sheer volume of everything else around him. He let his hair flip from side to side until it was a frizzy mess of blonde curls and he let his feet lift off the ground in rapid motion until they ached and he was too out of breath to remember what he was feeling that had brought the dance craze on. Because he was alone.

At least he had thought he was.

Billy hadn’t considered that “my folks are out of town for the weekend” could be interpreted in a different way.

Unfortunately for Billy, Mötley Crüe was blaring in his ears too loud for him to hear the rumble of the Beemer pulling out front of his house. Definitely too loud for him to hear Steve’s knuckles wrap against his bedroom window where the curtains were drawn and Steve was given a clear sight of Billy’s descent into insanity.

Steve just stood there by the window and let himself laugh a little at his boyfriend completely letting loose like that. It was something he’d never seen before and it was kind of refreshing in a way. Just a little more evidence to add to his file that he was in fact a real human with real emotions and not just a walking Canadian tuxedo.

Billy still hadn’t noticed him yet, and no amount of yelling and pounding would change that. So Steve just gets comfortable, resting his arms and chin on the windowsill and watching Billy move around his bedroom like he’s watching it through the TV.

It seemed normal for the most part. Not necessarily normal for Billy, but nothing too out there that would make Steve do anything other than laugh. That was until of course Billy reached underneath his bed and pulled out the purple nine-inch dildo that Steve had given him as a gift. Billy brought it straight to his mouth and began using it as a microphone and it should not have turned Steve on as much as it had.

His dick twitched as he watched Billy scream into the “dildo mic”. Billy’s mouth was so close to the tip and all Steve could think about was how Billy’s hot breath would feel if what he was holding wasn’t just purple silicone. He was actually growing hard in his jeans at the sight of Billy screeching into a phallic object and that was hilarious in itself. Steve was simultaneously turned on and extraordinarily amused.

Fortunately for Steve, the song finally came to an end with a fading volume, the dip in the sound just long enough for Steve to make his presence known with another shout of Billy’s name and several slams of a palm against glass.

Billy turned at a speed that could cause whiplash and as soon as his eyes locked with Steve’s he was frozen in place. Dildo still just three inches from his face and another loud song already queueing up on the boom box. After standing in place for at least a total thirty seconds, Billy finally propped open the window and shut off the music that was likely deafening to Steve and his pop music ears. He was still holding the piece of silicone firmly in his hand and his face was flushed bright enough to complement the purple.

Steve leaned his head in through the open window and took the dildo from Billy’s hold. Using it as a pointer, he pointed the tip to Billy’s chest.

“What do you say to the real thing?”

Billy finally came unfrozen and hoists Steve up through the open window, closes the curtains, and leaves absolutely no time to spare.

[nobody-knose--archive]

i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

[thenakedgingerwrites]

Cock in a Box (part 1)

How they convinced me I’ll never know. Well, that’s not true. The allure of free alcohol after dropping nearly $17k on my upcoming wedding certainly helped fuel my willingness to participate in this embarrassing contest.

Without going too far into a back story that I’m sure you guys don’t care about, this past weekend was my bachelor party. I was taken to Atlanta by a group of my good buddies and the 7 of us in total were living it up for a long, 3-day weekend in and out of bars, hotels, and strip clubs. It was our first night there when Kevin heard about a bar with an unusual game: Cock in a Box.

The gist: there’s basically a line of glory holes that you stick your junk through for the audience to vote on which they like best. All participants get 2 free drinks (well, of course; no top shelf stuff) BUT the chosen winner gets free drinks all night, whatever they want.

The downside is that if you’re chosen to be the winner, you have to accept the award so everyone would know it was YOUR dick. Apparently pictures are allowed at this bar. 

With enough liquid courage in us we all reluctantly agreed to give it a go, some of us probably more excited or terrified than the others. I thought to myself, I’ll get two free drinks and some people will have a picture of my dick but no way to link it back to me. I mean, my cock was fine, Sarah didn’t seem to have any complaints, but I knew I was average at best. I assume the crowd will go for the biggest one and I wager one of my buds is packing something bigger. I’d hate to be them. Or would I? I guess I wouldn’t mind a couple extra inches.

Anyway, we got to the bar and it became clear pretty quickly that this wasn’t a bar catering to female clientele. 

“It’s a fucking gay bar, guys!” Brad exclaimed when we got there.

“Well,” Rodger said, “I guess that makes sense. I’ve never really seen a lot of women vying to see a bunch of dicks.”

“That’s not the impression I got from your wife,” Dan joked.

“Oh ha ha ha.”

I spoke the first words of hesitation, “do we still want to go through with this?” It was one thing to be showing my dick to a bunch of female strangers, it was another thing for them to be gay men.

Kevin doubled down, “It’s still free booze. Who knows, someone might even buy me some drinks in an effort to get lucky!”

The group razzed him on that and how not even a troll would find him hot, but I did have to admit he had a point. Our group was, generally, good looking. We’d all taken care of ourselves in the  years following college sports and while some of us packed on a few pounds since the glory days we were all still big. I knew gay guys liked that at least.

“It’s Ben’s big weekend, let him make the choice,” said Mike.

Sean, my little brother, was the last of our group to speak, “I’m not a big fan of this idea either, but if Ben’s in… brother solidarity.”

I leaned into the crap Sarah was always spouting out about ‘live in the moment’ or ‘enjoy the ride of life’ and said, “fuck it. Let’s get some free drinks.”

At the front part of the club, Kevin expressed our interest to participate in the game. It quickly surfaced that we were a bachelor party of straight guys and that seemed to tantalize the person taking covers. He let us in for free!

Once we were inside one of the staff ushered us over near the back of the club and explained what we were to do. Apparently we had arrived just on time as the game starts around midnight on Fridays only.

There were 10 boxes near the back part of a stage where I assumed drag shows or beauty contests or something went on. You could get into them from behind the stage so no one could see which one you got into. They were basically just telephone booths made out of plywood. Not super appealing but I guess did the job.

The staff member said once we were in there the MC would start the show and more or less we’d be told what to do from there. They would narrow down contestants by number, which was painted on the outside of the boxes as well as the inside so we knew what number we were.

The guy checked us all out, salivating, and recommended we play with ourselves a bit when we get into the booth to ‘fluff up a bit.’ That idea sort of grossed me out and I knew I wasn’t going to be winning anyway so I already decided this crowd would be getting a soft, limp anonymous dick in exchange for free booze. 

It’s probably worth noting that all my buddies and myself included are white(ish). I’m not racist, I swear, but at the small Tennessee college I went to there weren’t many people of color. I say this only to demonstrate that I felt like I had a good level of anonymity since it would be my dick against 9 other dicks that probably looked like mine.

The staff guy said to choose a booth when Sean asked where the other 3 guys were. There were 10 booths and we only made 7. “Oh,” he said, “when management heard you seven were together and straight, he decided to make it just you guys.”

We looked at each other and silently decided if we were still okay with this but I guess what does 3 other dudes matter. I guess now we knew one of us would be getting free drinks. That is, if they accepted their win.

We all walked up and into our respective booths. Kevin was beside me to the left and Dan was to my right. The other guys filed in. When I got in and drew the curtain behind me for privacy, I realized that I was NOT in box “3” like I thought I would be but “5.”

I heard Kevin yell, “I guess they randomize the box order too.”

Then Sean called out, “That’s good, I was worried you’d be sad when they talked about how small #2’s dick was and we’d all know it was you!”

Laughter among the guys, including myself, rang out.

In the box, there wasn’t much and not a lot of room. There was the infamous hole on the front side about three and a half feet up. I wondered what shorter dudes would do but then I also saw the wooden blocks stacked up on the side. I guess that’s for them to stand on if they don’t reach the hole.

The hole.

I looked at it timidly. My nerves were starting to climb as I realized what I had signed up for. What we had all signed up for. The plywood had been sanded smooth around the lip of the hole so my fear of splinters was gone but not my fear of the unknown number of gay dudes on the other side eagerly awaiting to look at our dicks. MY dick!

I was starting to second guess this whole thing and chicken out. The guys may not let me live that down. Well, I’m not going first at least.

The music faded out after the end of the song and someone cleared their throat into a mic.

“Gooooood evening, queers, steers, and bears. Oh my! Welcome to this week’s Cock in a Box competition. I’m your host, Anita Gudphuck, and we have a super special treat for you men tonight.”

My palms were getting sweaty.

“For you see, tonight we only have 7 contestants…”

Boos erupted from the crowd along with vocal pleads that they wanted to see more dick. I swear, gay people.

“But the seven we have are… straight guys on a bachelor party weekend!!!”

The original distaste for the limited offering turned into an uproar of cheers and whistles. What’s the deal with gay guys liking straight guys so much anyway?

“But, we’re all in for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity if we all agree to play by some secret, sexy rules. Will you all play along?”

More cheers from the audience. What did he mean by ‘secret’ rules?

“Okay, now, no one shout out the secret rules as we don’t want our mystery men to know. Up on screen there, you’ll see what to do.”

There was a few moments of silence and then some laughs, some ‘oh my goods,’ and a ton of applause and cheering.

“Do  you think you can all follow those rules?”

“YESSSS!” the crowd yelled.

“Okay, well then let’s play Cock in a Box! Straight boys back there, are you ready?”

I didn’t want to shout out but I guess none of my buddies did either. Maybe that would reveal us when we had to go out and get our drinks.

“I’ll take silence as a ‘yes, ma’am!’ Now, get your cocks in hand and ready to be judged! I recommend a few pumps and shakes to liven the guy up.”

I can’t believe I’m doing this. How did I let Kevin convince me to do this? How did he convince all of us to do this? I undid my jeans and shucked them down my thighs. Looking at the bulge in my boxer briefs I took a deep breath. There’s no way I can do this right? No way any of us could do this, right?

“Okay boys, Let’s! See! Those! Cocks!”

I stood there for a moment, unwilling to be the first in case this was some sort of prank. The seconds felt like eternity.

“Are all you straight boys shy? Or are you just embarrassed by your tiny dicks?”

The audience laughed and started to call out things along the lines of ‘show us what you’re working with.”

I was sure we had all gotten cold feet when the crowd started applauding.

“There’s our first contestant! Ooo and what a nice dick!” Whistles in the audience agreed with her statement.

“Oh and another! And another! That’s three straight boy dongs right there.”

They’re actually doing it. Fucking hell. Well, tipping my metaphorical hat to Sarah’s dumb slogans, ‘when in Rome…’ I reached into my briefs, pulled my dick out and stepped forward, guiding it through the hole. 

Even more cheers through the audience, louder than the others it seemed like. 

“Four, Five! That’s some nice looking -- oo Six!”

“Come’on last guy, don’t be shy. Your friends all took the plunge.”

I wonder who was getting cold feet. I noticed now that there was a mild warmth on my dick which I now wagered was spotlights making sure people got good looks.

A final round of applause, “and there he is. Nothing to be ashamed of there, number 8.”

And just like that, we all had our dicks out to a crowd of gay guys on my bachelor party weekend. I didn’t necessarily want to be on the other side, but imagining the site was ridiculous. A long plywood wall with seven cocks sticking out of it with numbers crudely painted above them.

Dicks of straight men in a gay club, selling out the exposure of our junk for a couple free drinks. This would make a weird story to tell in the future I guess, at least among ourselves. I wasn’t planning on sharing this with anyone else.

Little did I know how weird, embarrassing, and hot the night was going to go.

[twofootedbones]

Give Me Your Answer Do

Summary:  Something inside Logan's head was telling him that this wasn't a situation he wanted to be in anymore, whether it be Deceit's doing or his own brain, Logan selectively listens to the sounds. The other sides pound on the doors to bring the logical side back to the light, but the singing metal had become accustomed to the darkness.

Old fic, so please forgive any cannon errors! 

‘They’re not going to listen to you,’

The voice grew louder.

‘They’re never going to listen to you,’

It started to make sense, but after hearing the repeated words they would lose their edge.

‘You might be a light side, but you’ll never be one of them,’

Logan wasn’t an emotion. Logan was the brain, Logan was logical thinking, Logan was thinking.

It’s obvious how the other sides would have a sort of bias against him because of this, but it still managed to hurt when all the emotions get their own way simply because there are more of them. Logan was alone in his accounts, he wasn’t like all the others, and because of this, they deemed it okay to not have to treat him like the others. They hurled insults at him faster and more often than at each other. They were all ever so quick to shut anything and everything he had down. Yet, the sweet small amounts of praise he gets when he's finally seen equal at the end of a video was exhilarating. Frustrating, he meant frustrating. Just as the conflict outside raged on, the conflict inside continued.

‘Just duck out now,’

Logan watched as Roman got presumably louder as he yelled at Virgil, who in turn yelled back, but he couldn’t hear a thing. The voices were all gone, he listened to everyone underwater as his own thoughts started to drown him. Roman turned to him and started to yell as well, it looked like he expects an answer to some kind of question, too bad he didn't hear it.

‘What are they going to lose?’

They would literally lose the voice of reason, he had to stay-

Right?

Roman turned away from Logan, throwing his arms up in frustration. Patton starred worried at the unresponsive Logan, it didn't take long for his attention to be pulled back into the argument.

‘You’ll always be a part of Thomas, you don’t really have to be here,’

That was true. That was extremely true. Logan himself had said that before, while he’s not an emotion he will always be working and will always be there.

So he left.

Logan sunk out while everyone continued to argue and bicker.

You can bicker you can talk you can bicker bicker bicker, but with the subject at hand, none of the other’s knew the territory. The logical side wondered how long it would take them to notice he was gone.

As Logan rose up into his room, the first thing he did was turn off the lights. Listening to people who have no idea what their talking about and refuse to let you talk for forty-five minutes can really give you a migraine. The darkness was comforting for once; Logan had always thirsted for knowing what exactly is out there and shedding light on life, but the unknowingness of the darkness calmed him on this day. He craved to emulate that darkness one day. To become nothing, yet everything all at once.

Knock Knock Knock.

Sweet, Sweet disruptions. Surprisingly enough it didn’t take them too long.

“Logan?”

It was Patton, of course, it was Patton.

“Ya kinda ducked on us,”

‘Like I was giving much to the conversation anyway, what am I even supposed to do just stand there and be the groups Bozo Bop?'

“Are you there?”

‘No, go away’

Logan sat on the other side of the door. He was dead silent, not because he wanted to, but because he couldn’t speak. There is a limit that every person much reach. There was something he needed, a smell, a touch, a reassurance. The cold feeling of the crisp night air hitting one’s face after opening a window. The smell of the trees and the precipitation in the air as the night’s clouds soon became the morning’s dew drops. The touch of the wooden windows frames as you pushed the glass up to let the air in and out.

Logan reminded himself of these simple joys. He romanticized these moments, he lusted after the short breaks in between constantly being at work to keep Thomas happy and healthy and making sure that the other’s don’t murder each other in the process.

The current feeling hurt. Logan listened to the sounds of Patton’s footsteps only travel a small distance away before joining in on a whisper with two other voices. The room smelled musty, it gave an ancient feeling in the worst way possible. Although the room was a stark black, Logan could still tell what a mess the place was, considering that he tripped on his way over to the door.

The room was hot, it felt as if the place had no windows at all. There was no light, no air, and no pleasant smell. There was no stopping the sensory attacks space had on his migraine.

There was a sharp tug at his shirt.

The others were attempting to summon him.

This only made the Logical side laugh.

There were sixteen more tugs before they gave up, they were finishing the video without him, whether they liked it or not. The pounding continued, the steady beat of the war drums rung pain through his body.

They didn’t care.

Tomorrow he would have to get up and re-live the process.

Get up, get yelled at, work, work, work, work, work, pass out.

‘Just stop’

“What do you mean?” he asked the voices aloud.

‘Stop everything, make them beg,’

“Beg?”

‘For you to come back of course,’

This was all so confusing. He wasn’t going to become one of Deceit’s egoists just because he has a few rough days. That's all they are. Rough days. Right?

As morning came and Thomas had to start the day, Logan got to work. At his desk. The logical side would never leave his room. He owed Thomas just enough work to keep him alive, he never had to show up to the side’s meetings. They were all meaningless anyway.

Every day they pounded at his door, they would bang and scratch at all his defenses, trying everything they could to get into his room. The rhythm of their fists slowly started to match the drumming of his migraines.

Strangely enough, just like soundwaves, the pains started to pulse through Logan. Something was changing, he just couldn't tell what.

-

Logan would slowly sing to himself as the days drew out, it was the only song he knew.

"Daisy, Daisy,"

"Give me your answer do,"

Logan would repeat the song while he worked, ignoring how automated his voice started to sound.

"I'm half crazy, all for the love of youUu,"

His voice hissed as the vocal cords became sound bites.

"It wON'T be A sTYLISH MARRIAGE,"

Like the flip of a switch, he started to sound like that famous computer.

"I CAN'T AFFORD A CARRIAGE,"

The synthetic sound rang through the room, it was beautiful in its own way.

"BUT YOU'LL LOOK SWEET, UPON THE SEAT,"

The voice felt natural, as if this is was Logan really was. He sang to himself varying in volume as the synthetic voice shot out of him.

"OF A BICYCLE BUILT FOR TWO-,"

-

It took them a week before telling Thomas he could infiltrate the room with ease. Immediately the man rose up into the darkroom. There only light that pierced the room was the shine of the stars out the window and the dying bulb of the green desk lamp.

"Logan? Please tell me you're here,"

The pang of desperation that rang through Thomas's voice made the logical side vaguely guilty.

A small shuffle in the darkness and the side reveals himself through the lamplight. The audible gasp that followed only made the guilt gain specifications.

"Wh- what happened, Lo?"

The metal skeleton only avoided eye contact as Thomas drew closer.

"We're all so worried,"

' That's rich'

Logan backed away, back into the darkness. Just looking at Thomas's face hurt him.

Can I bring the other's in?"

"NO."

Thomas flinched as the rough sound of an IBM 704 echoed off the empty walls. That was the first time Logan had spoken to anyone since he first clocked out, and frankly, it terrified him.

"Logan please,"

"THEY ARE BETTER WITHOUT ME, I HAVE NO REASON TO PARTICIPATE IN THE EMOTION'S CONFLICTS," the voice wavered as he spoke, the sound bites seeming to crackle with every word.

"That's not true! Patton hasn't stopped crying since you left, Roman is blaming and destroying himself, and Virgil hasn't spoken in ages,"

"THEY DON'T CARE, THEY DON'T LISTEN TO ME, WHY DOES IT MATTER,"

Thomas grew desperate, trying to find the source of the soft computer somewhere in the darkness.

"Please let be bring them in,"

"NO."

Thomas hesitated, he wanted to respect the Logical side, but what he saw was something he couldn't just let brew. He needed to calm the logical side down.

"I can hear your singing,"

The comment surprised Logan, he slowly moved closer to the light.

"YOU CAN?"

As the metal frame poked itself into the light, Thomas knew he got him. The seemingly rusty plates did everything but shine in the light, even the dark screen that was once his face refused to reflect.

"Yes, Roman says that it actually sounded pretty nice," Thomas laughed, but it was short-lived, he couldn't hide the concern on his face for the metal man standing in front of him.

"Could you sing for me?"

The machine whirred as several fans started to go off, Thomas could only assume that meant he was embarrassed about it.

"You don't have to if you don't want to-"

It didn't take long for the logical machine in front of him to start playing notes. Thomas watched a simple roll of paper, silently go turn over and over in Logan's arm. He played a simple tone as the mechanics warmed up.

"THERE IS A FLOWER WITHIN MY HEART,"

The melody was surprisingly calming.

"DAISY, DAISY,"

Thomas listened, waving his arms behind his back to bring Patton into the room.

"PLANTED ONE DAY BY A GLANCING DART,"

Thomas held onto Patton, urging for him to be quiet.

"PLANTED BY DAISY BELL,"

Patton finally heard the voice he had been listening to from behind the door for a week now.

Logan's frame broke him, he was no longer metaphorical flesh and bone like the rest of the sides. He was open metal plating, wires fraying out here and there that were obviously self-inflicted.

"WHETHER SHE LOVES ME OR LOVES ME NOT,"

Parron followed suit, slowly bringing Virgil into the room, covering the anxious side's mouth as he came into the room.

"SOMETIMES IT'S HARD TO TELL,"

Virgil almost screamed at the sight before him, that was what Logan turned into. A broken down Macintosh for a face with a salesman's IBM 704 model for a chest. A metal tube connected the chest to a pair of rusted metal prosthetic legs.

"YET I AM LONGING TO SHARE THE LOT, A BEAUTIFUL DAISY BELL,"

The synthetic notes chirped, the computer screen flashing as the sounds made Logan happy.

"DAISY, DAISY,"

The metal body swayed back and forth lovingly.

"GIVE ME YOUR ANSWER DO-"

Virgil finished the chain as he brought Roman into the room, quickly shoving a hand over the fanciful side's mouth as he attempted to scream. Roman forced Virgil's hands off his mouth.

"IM HALF CRAZY, ALL FOR THE LOVE OF YOU,"

Before Roman even got a peep out, he immediately knew what he was looking at. "Oh my god, Logan-" Roman whispered watching the computer continue to play.

"IT WON'T BE A STYLISH MARRIAGE,"

Thomas joined in on the end of the chorus.

"But you'll look sweet, upon the seat,"

"OF A BICYCLE BUILT FOR TWO,"

"Of a bicycle built for two,"

The computer sputtered and staggered back as it continued, listening as Thomas continued to harmonize with the cracking sound bites.

"We will go tandem as man and wife,"

Patton stepped forward and joined in.

"Daisy, Daisy,"

"PEDDLING OUR WAY DOWN THE ROaD OF LiFE,"

The melody started to break as Logan noticed how many people were in the room.

"I and my Daisy Bell,"

Virgil sang. Patton wasn't the only one who listened to Logan's song.

"WHeN THE ROaDS DArk wE CAN BOTH desPISE,"

Electrical cracks rang through the darkness, illuminating the room for split seconds as the machine became the man.

"policemen and lamp as well,"

Roman stepped forward. He pushed past everyone, trying to find the android in the darkness. The others quieted down, only humming the tunes as they watched the prince move forward.

"There are bright lights is a dazzling eye,"

"OF beauTIFUL Daisy Bell,"

Scrapping metal screamed through the room as the music stopped.

A sobbing voice came through the darkness.

"D-Daisy, Da-Daisy,"

Roman's strong voice called out to the logical side.

"Give me your answer do,"

An arm reached out for the creative side, he gladly grabbed onto the arm and pulled the body that belonged to it forward, pulling it into a tight embrace. Roman continued the song as he felt tears start to soak through his shirt.

"I'm half crazy, all for the love of you,"

He squeezed the logical side tightly, refusing to let him disappear into the darkness again.

"It won't be a stylish marriage,"

Logan's knees faltered, causing both sides to sink to the group as Roman refused to let go.

"I can't afford a carriage,"

The other sides rushed to make the place more comfortable, Patton turned on the lights, only to reveal the disaster that was the room. Virgil grabbed Logan's bed comforter once me managed to find it.

Logan shook in Roman's arms, his sobs wracking his whole body.

"But you'll look sweet, upon the seat,"

Patton, Virgil, and Thomas rushed over to the pair on the floor, Virgil wrapping the comforter around the group the best he could.

"Of a bicycle built for two,"

Roman finished the chorus, his grip on the Logan refusing to loosen. The group sat in near silence, the only sounds running through the room being Logan's labored breathing and Roman's sweet whispered nothings. "I'm so sorry Lo," he apologized for the 20th time.

"I didn't mean it, I didn't mean anything I said,"

Logan stifles a chuckle. "I-I," he had to take a shaky breath, he was lucky if he managed to finish his sentence. "I did- didn't even h-hear what you s-said," he looked up at creative side with a weak smile. "M-my my migraine w-was too loud," he admitted.

"Please don't do that to me ever again," tears started to form in the corners of Roman's eyes. The saltwater threatened to pour over as he repeated the words, his voice silently cracking. "I care about you Logan, I'm sorry, please don't do that again, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it," Roman continued to mumble clinging to Logan as if he was his only life source. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm-"

The logical side cupped the creative side's face, forcing him to look at him.

"R-Roman,"

Tears started to stream down the prince's face.

"It's okay,"

"I l-love you, Logan,"

"I k-know Ro-Roman"

[ts1989fanatic]

Every Taylor Swift Album Ranked

We revisited each of the singer’s original studio albums and ranked them from best to worst.

FEATURESEvery Taylor Swift Album Ranked

We revisited each of the singer’s original studio albums and ranked them from best to worst.

By Slant Staff on July 6, 2021

Taylor Swift started off as a country artist at a time when the genre was both less respectful and accommodating of the voices of women than at any other point in its storied history. The singer’s first four albums barely scan as country music in a meaningful way, instead embracing her preternatural gifts for pop conventions, and her output has gotten stronger the more openly she’s embraced those skills. In the 15 years since the single “Tim McGraw” launched Swift to country stardom, she’s jettisoned the genre’s ill-fitting signifiers and overcome the limitations of her early recordings—improvements captured in her “Taylor’s Version” re-recordings of those albums as a powerful statement of artistic agency.

As Swift takes an apparent break from new music to re-record those early releases, including Fearless (Taylor’s Version) and this fall’s highly anticipated Red redux, we revisited each of her original studio albums and ranked them from best to worst.

9. Taylor Swift (2006)

Though she was praised for her songwriting right out of the gate, what Swift’s self-titled debut truly shows in hindsight is how diligently she’s worked to hone her craft over the years. Some of her trademarks—her gift for melody, her third-act POV reversals—were already present here, but there’s a sloppiness to the writing that she’s long since cleaned up. Whether that’s emphasizing the wrong syllables of words because she hadn’t quite mastered the meter of language (most notable on “Teardrops on My Guitar”) or mixing metaphors (on “Picture to Burn” and the otherwise catchy “Our Song”), there’s a lack of polish and editing on Taylor Swift

8. Fearless (2008)

Nearly every track on Swift’s sophomore effort, Fearless, builds to a massive pop hook. But while her grasp of song structure at this point in her career suggested an innate talent for how to develop a melody, Fearless also highlights Swift’s then-limited repertoire and lack of creativity in constructing her narratives of doe-eyed infatuations and first loves gone wrong. It’s admirable that she tries to incorporate more sophisticated elements into a few of the songs here, but dancing with or kissing someone in the rain is a default image that crops up with nearly the same distracting frequency as references to princesses, angels, and fairy tales. Fearless, however, just as strongly made the case that Swift had the goods for a long, rich career. The bridge to “Fifteen” includes a great, revealing line about a friend’s lost innocence (“And Abigail gave everything/She had to a boy/Who changed his mind/And we both cried”), while the playful melody of “Hey Stephen” captures the essence of what makes for indelible teen-pop.

7. Speak Now (2010)

Swift’s third album, Speak Now, is problematic in precisely the same ways that its predecessors are, but there isn’t a song here that isn’t an absolute wonder of technical construction. Perhaps even more impressive is Swift’s mastery of song structure. Consider how the instrumentation drops out during the last two words of the hook in “Last Kiss,” allowing the singer’s breathy vocal delivery to bear the entirety of the song’s emotional weight, or how a simple acoustic guitar figure on “Enchanted” slowly crescendos behind each repetition of the line “I was enchanted to meet you.” Unfortunately, the greater complexity and range found in Swift’s sound and in her song constructions doesn’t necessarily translate to her songwriting. Her narrators often seem to lack insight because Swift writes with the point of view that hers is the only story to be told, which makes songs like “Dear John” and “Better Than Revenge” come across as shallow and shortsighted. And though she does vary her phrasing in ways that attempt to mask her limited voice, Swift is still noticeably off-pitch at least once on every song on the album.

6. Red (2012)

Considering that Swift’s previous material was almost always better when she tossed the ill-fitting country signifiers and focused on her uncanny gift for writing pop hooks, Red was a smart, if overdue, move for the singer. The album plays as a survey course in contemporary pop, and Swift is game to try just about anything, from the uninhibited dance-pop of standout “Starlight” to the thundering heartland rock of “Holy Ground.” The tracks that work best are those on which the production is creative and modern in ways that are in service to Swift’s songwriting. The distorted vocal effects and shifts in dynamics on “I Knew You Were Trouble” heighten the sense of frustration that drives the song, and the driving rhythm section on “Holy Ground” reflects Swift’s reminiscence of a lover who “took off faster than a green light, go.” Not all of the songs here are so keenly observed—“State of Grace” and “I Almost Do” lack the specificity that’s one of Swift’s songwriting trademarks, while the title track underwhelms with its train of pedestrian similes and metaphors—but if Red is ultimately too uneven to be a truly great pop album, its highlights were career-best work for Swift at the time.

5. Lover (2019)

Swift’s seventh album, Lover, lacks a unified sonic aesthetic, ostensibly from trying to be something to everyone. The title track, whose lilting rhythm and reverb-soaked drums and vocals are reminiscent of Mazzy Star’s ‘90s gem “Fade Into You,” and the acoustic “Soon You’ll Get Better,” a tribute to Swift’s mother, hark back to the singer’s pre-pop days, while “I Think He Knows” and “False God” evoke Carly Rae Jepsen’s brand of ‘80s R&B-inflected electro-pop. When it comes to things other than boys, though, Swift has always preferred to dip her toes in rather than get soaking wet; her transformation from country teen to pop queen was, after all, a decade in the making. Less gradual was Swift’s shift from political agnostic to liberal advocate. Her once apolitical music is, on Lover, peppered with references to America’s current state of affairs, both thinly veiled (“Death by a Thousand Cuts”) and more overt (“You Need to Calm Down”). “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince,” however, is her stock in trade, a richly painted narrative punctuated by cool synth washes and pep-rally chants, while “The Archer” is quintessential Swift: wistful, minimalist dream pop that displays her willingness to acknowledge and dismantle her own flaws, triggers, and neuroses.

4. Reputation (2017)

In the run-up to the release of her sixth album, Reputation, Swift was excoriated by fans and foes alike for too often playing the victim. The album’s lyrics only serve to bolster that perception: Swift comes off like a frazzled stay-at-home mom scolding her disobedient children on “Look What You Made Me Do” and “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things.” But it’s her willingness to portray herself not as a victim, but the villain of her own story that makes Reputation such a fascinatingly thorny glimpse inside the mind of pop’s reigning princess. Swift has proven herself capable of laughing at herself, thereby defusing the criticisms often levied at her, but with Reputation she created a larger-than-life caricature of the petty, vindictive snake she’s been made out to be. By album’s end, Swift assesses her crumbling empire and tattered reputation, discovering redemption in love—only Reputation isn’t so much a rebirth as it is a retreat inward. It marks a shift from the retro-minded pop-rock of 2014’s 1989 toward a harder, more urban aesthetic, and Swift wears the stiff, clattering beats of songs like “…Ready for It?” like body armor.

3. Evermore (2020)

Evermore is at once as confident and complete a statement as Folklore. Certainly, it matters that the two albums were born of the protracted isolation of the Covid-19 pandemic and that collaborators like Bon Iver and the National’s Aaron Dessner figure prominently on both. But Evermore finds Swift digging further into her explorations of narrative voice and shifting points of view, taking bigger risks in trying to discover how the newfound breadth of her songwriting could possibly reconcile with the arc of her career. What makes Evermore an essential addition to her catalog is her willingness to tell others’ stories with the same insight and compassion with which she’s always told her own. And on this album, in particular, the stories she tells are about how her narrators’ choices impact others, often in ways that cause irreparable harm.

2. 1989 (2014)

Swift’s 1989 severed whatever vestiges of her country roots remained on 2012’s Red, replacing acoustic guitars and pedal steel with multi-layered synthscapes, drum machines, and densely packed vocal tracking. Swift, of course, got her start writing astutely observed country ballads, and these songs bolster her trademark knack for lyric-crafting with maximalist, blown-out pop production courtesy of collaborators Max Martin and Jack Antonoff. The album’s standout tracks retain the narrative detail and clever metaphor-building that distinguished Swift’s early songs, even amid the diversions wrought by the aggressive studio production on display throughout. Songs like “I Know Places” ride a reggae swagger and trap-influenced snare beats before launching into a soaring, Pat Benatar-esque chorus. It’s an effortless fusion that, like much of 1989, displays Swift’s willingness to venture outside her comfort zone without much of a safety net, and test out an array of sonic experiments that feel both retro and of the moment.

1. Folklore (2020)

Folklore is neither a culmination of Swift’s career to date nor a pivot in a new direction. She’s doing exactly what she’s always done: offering a collection of incisive, often provocative songs that incorporate authentic, first-person details and leaving others to argue over specific genre signifiers. Song for song, the album finds Swift at a new peak in her command of language. While tracks like “Cardigan” and “Invisible Strings” hinge on protracted metaphors, “Mad Woman” and “Peace” are blunt and plainspoken. In every instance, what’s noteworthy is Swift’s precision in communicating her exact intent. That she employs her long-established songwriting tropes in novel ways is truly the most significant development here. She’s mined this type of melancholy tone before, but never for the full length of an album and certainly never with such a range of perspectives. It isn’t the weight of the subject matter alone that makes Folklore feel so vital—it’s the exemplary caliber of her writing. The album finds Swift living up to all of the praise she earned for her songwriting earlier in career.

ts1989fanatic not sure I 100% agree with their ranking order and some of the snark on reputation is a little OTT but overall it’s not bad

[the-story-of-the-tucks]

Just breathe

(Alice and Alfred get to audition for a theater college! But what happens when Alfred starts to have a panic attack mid audition?

TW: descriptive panic attack

(I projected myself onto Alfred for the first time, it was fun. Shoutout to the West of words discord for screaming about theater kids! alice/alfred so much. I love every single one of y'all <3) 

Also posted on AO3 by @the_story_of_the_tucks

--

Alfred was sitting backstage while his best friend, Alice nailed her audition song.

Since they were little they always knew they would be actors someday. That dream grew into a reality when they started middle school and got into the theater program.

He remembers it like it was yesterday-

They were putting up a production of grease junior and the pair was so excited to be part of it. Sure they didn't get big roles since it was their first year but they fell in love with theater more than ever.

They started to get bigger roles until they ended up performing in the show Wonderland their senior year. Alice -of course- playing Alice and Alfred playing the white rabbit. Just like they have done so many times when they read the book.

He was so freaking proud of her for landing the leading role. Alice had an amazing voice and absolutely deserved everything.

Even now, she was on stage singing Whispering from Spring awakening to the judges who will determine if they get into this college or not.

That's why Alfred felt like he should run while he can. He did not consider himself as someone with stage fright since he could always perform in front of a crowd when he did his high school musicals.

But this was not a high school musical.

This was an audition that will determine his future. Will he get into the college of his dreams with her best friend? or will he fail at the audition and go to a normal college, leaving Alice behind and shattering his dreams?

He started to feel anxious a week before the auditions, everything became too real for Alfred.

This was not a silly high school audition were it didn’t even matter if he got ensemble or the fucking scarecrow from Wizard of Oz.

This was real life and had real life stakes. The teacher was not gonna take pity on him and cast him anyways! If he was not perfect in the audition he could kiss goodbye to his dreams.

So he started practicing a lot.

He read his song over and over again, sometimes staying past midnight and skipped meals just so he could study the lyrics.

He chose Tonight at eight from the musical She loves me. He knew it was a mouthful of a song but it also showcased his vocal range and acting skills.

“It's fitting since you always seem to be nervous about everything” Alice joked when Alfred told her which song he was auditioning with. At the moment they laughed about it but right now Alfred felt like throwing up from the nerves.

He just needed to calm down and concentrate on something else, how hard could it be?

Alice was still singing-

Her sweet but powerful voice filled the whole building and made Alfred´s heart melt. He could hear how much emotion she was putting on the song. She was not Alice at the moment; she was Wendla Bergmann, and she was fucking great at it.

-Listening... For the hope, for the new life— Something beautiful, a new chance. Hear, it's whispering, There, again…-

She held the last note at the end and then there was just silence. He heard her say her thank yous and then she ran backstage to Alfred´s arms.

“You did amazing!” Alfred smiled widely while hugging and spinning her a bit.

Alice laughed melodically “Thanks! I think the judges liked it too!” She was grinning like crazy, still having the rush from performing onstage.

They both stayed there, giggling for a few seconds as if nothing else in the world mattered but them. Then they hear Alfred's name called out on the speaker.

“Hallam, Alfred?”

He froze. He was not prepared for this! What was he even thinking? He was just going to turn around and get home just to not get humiliated in front of the judges.

Alice saw the look of panic in his face and held his hand. “Hey, hey-, you're gonna do great” she placed her hand in his shoulder to confort him “just don't get nervous, ok? you already practiced and you know everything by heart” she winked.

“Right” Alfred, nodded trying to convince himself “I’m fine- I’m not nervous at all-”

“Alfie, your hands are shaking”

“shit” Alfred held both of his hands at his chest and took a deep breath trying to calm down.

“You can do this” Alice smiled and squeezed his shoulder.

He can do this.

--

Alfred stood in front of the jury paralyzed by fear for what felt like forever but it was probably a few seconds.

“I- uh Hello” He cringed at how his voice sounded. “My name is Alfred Hallam and I will be performing Tonight at eight by the musical She loves me”

His hands were still shaking and he tried to crack his knuckles to cover it.

He squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds and exhaled

He can do this

-I'm nervous and upset Because this girl I've never met-

He started singing, ok so far so good.

-I get to meet Tonight at eight-

He almost smiled, he was actually doing great!

-I'm taking her to dinner At a charming old cafe, But who can eat Tonight at eight?-

Alfred made the mistake of glancing at the judges' table and saw them writing something down in their notepads. shit.

Were they writing something good about him? something bad?

-It's early in the morning, And our date is not till eight o'clock tonight, And yet already I can see What a nightmare this whole day will be-

Maybe he had to get into the character a bit more? that's it! but he couldn't concentrate at all, his heart was beating too loudly and he felt the jury’s eyes burning holes at him.

-I haven't slept a wink, I only think Of our approaching tete-a-tete, Tonight at eight.-

'C’mon Alfred' he thought. 'Just fucking concentrate on the song and don’t think about the jury watching you, or your too loud beating heart, or the fact that your hands started shaking again, or-'

-I feel a combination Of depression and elation; What a state! To wait Till eight!-

Why did he feel like he was getting out of breath? did the jury notice? were they writing on their notepads again?

-Three more minutes, two more seconds, ten more hours to go!-

He felt the room getting smaller and hotter.

-In spite of what I've written, She may not be very- very-

He paused.

God, what was the word? his mind was too foggy to think and it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

“Mr Hallam?” One of the people in the jury asked “Are you alright?”

Was he? Alfred couldn't breathe at all. His hands were shaking and his heart felt like it was threatening to fall out of his chest.

“Mr Hallam, do you need a minute?”

“I uh-” He swallowed thickly, forcing himself to talk “I’m sorry-”

And with that he ran backstage.

--

Alfred managed to reach the stairs outside the theater and sit down.

His hand were still shaking and they were starting to feel numb. He tried to wipe the sweat that was dripping down from his forehead but he couldn't control his hands enough to do it.

And worst of all? He felt like there was and elephant sitting on his chest.

Alfred couldn’t help but repeat the moment in his head.

He choked in front of the jury who would decide if he went to the school of his dreams or not- He forgot a song he had known all his life and had been practicing non stop for at least a month-

All those sleepless nights were for absolutely nothing- The judges probably thought that if he got freaked out by a simple audition he will most likely get worse in an actual play or with any performance.

What was he even thinking? he’s never gonna have a future as an actor! he’d probably was gonna end up being thirty and working in an office while Alice wins her third tony award and he won’t even be able to attend to the ceremony because he’d have to do the office reports or else he’ll get fired and-

“Alfie?”

He heard a familiar voice and looked up only to face the one and only Alice spencer.

He wanted to talk, he wanted to tell her he was okay and that she didn’t need to worry or make a fuss about him but only choked sobs came out of his mouth every time he tried to explain.

“Hey hey it’s ok-” Alice tried to soothe him, she gently took Alfred’s shaky hand and squeezed it.

“Try to match my breathing, ok?” she started to inhale and exhale slowly and Alfred tried to follow suit.

They have done this many times when they were kinds, whether it be because he was having an asthma attack and couldn’t find his inhaler, a panic attack or he was just freaking out. He could guarantee that Alice was gonna be always by his side helping him breathe.

But it was not gonna be like that after college started, right?

But it was not gonna be like that after college started, right?

“I fucked it up” He whispered between shaky breaths “I- I got too nervous and I choked mid audition”

“I know” Alice just squeezed his hand tighter, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“My future is ruined-”

“Hey, no its not” she said simply “We can go back and talk to the jury and explain you were having a panic attack”

“I-I can’t go back there! I don’t even know if they’ll even hear me and-”

“Alife” Alice looked directly at his green eyes “You’re probably not the first person who had a panic attack mid audition, they’ll understand”

“And if they don’t?”

“They will” she assured him.

Alfred was too tired to protest so he just limited himself to nod.

“After the other auditions finish we’ll go back and ask for another audition date, alright?”

Alice started ramble about her plan, it was kinda endearing.

“I don’t think i’m ready to go back just yet” Alfred said miserably

“I’ll go with you” Alice assured him “i’m not letting you face those judges alone, they’re scary”

Alfred laughed a bit “yeah, they are”

Alfred realized that no matter were they went Alice will always have his back and vice versa. It was relieving to know you have someone who will catch you if you fall and you’d have to catch them too sometimes.

They ended up talking to the judges together and agreed on scheduling another audition the next week, which gave Alfred a bit more time to go over the lyrics and prepare himself.

They both got their acceptance letters at the same time.

[k-pop-imagines]

Aurora || Chapter 3

> Aurora Masterlist <

Pairing: Seonghwa x OC (slowburn) 

Word Count: 2.3k 

Warnings: none

A/N: Whoop, here it is. Hope you enjoy the third chapter! I know things are going fairly slow right now but it’s just for the sake of introducing my OC and other important characters. I’ll speed things up soon, I promise.  - Admin Soomi

° FREUNDSCHAFT °

-> friendship

After eating her ice cream and getting a new boost of energy, she took a long walk around neighborhood despite the cold before returning to the agency. She still had some time left so she sat down on a sofa in the break room and decided to text her dad and siblings, who stayed in Germany when her mother and her moved to Seoul, a small update. They knew Yeseul had auditioned to become a trainee but she hadn’t clued them in on the newest developments yet. She wrote a few paragraphs and set her phone down, knowing she wouldn’t get a response anytime soon as it wasn’t even 6am yet all the way in Europe. 

She closed her eyes for a second and tried to relax. She was on edge. The sweet treat had helped for a little while but now that the classes were getting closer, so was her heart to getting a heart attack. Sure, she didn’t have to join them today but she was still incredibly nervous because she hadn’t met any of the other trainees yet. They were all busy practicing and perfecting their performances for the evaluation so she wasn’t surprised she hadn’t run into anyone yet. Yeseul sent a prayer to whatever God was willing to listen, hoping that she’d be able to get along with everyone, or at least a few of them. They would be training together almost every single day of the week and maybe in the future, she should be in a girl group with some of them. Considering those circumstances, the last thing she wanted was to make enemies. She wanted healthy competition, friends that pushed each other to their limits while supporting and lifting you up. 

Yeseul was now nervously fiddling with her phone and decided to just go to the practice room where the vocal evaluation would be to see if she could enter already. When she got there, the door to the room was wide open and she could actually look inside this time. She hesitated. A few trainees were inside, standing around and talking but she wasn’t sure if they were already done practicing or just taking a break. She didn’t want to intrude. All of a sudden, she felt a presence behind her. “Ah, I remember you! You’re Yeseul, right? I just heard that you got accepted!” As she turned around, she found herself before a woman in her forties who she recognized to be one of the vocal teachers who had been present at her audition. She was surprised but honored that she even remembered her name. “I’m Ms. Lee, by the way, and I am very excited to be working with you. You have a very interesting tone and I already have a few things planned for you.” Ms. Lee gave her a playful wink and walked past her into the practice room. The teacher stood in front of the trainees and they immediately greeted her in unison. Then, she motioned for Yeseul to come in and told her to introduce herself.

“My name is Hwang Yeseul, I’m 19 years old and I just became a trainee today. I hope we can get along well and please take care of me.” The other trainees, six girls, just like Mr. Kang had told her, gave her a variety of looks. Some of them curious, some friendly, some completely indifferent. At least no hateful glares. Yet. It could have been worse. 

Yeseul was told to sit on a chair in the corner of the room and watch the evaluation. 

She observed in astonishment as the girls showcased their vocal abilities in a ballad that they had picked together. She was impressed, they harmonized well and managed to implement each person’s strengths perfectly. They must have been training for a while to know each other’s voices so well. Ms. Lee, on the other hand, wasn’t exactly happy with their performance. She began pointing out issues and practicing those parts with the trainees over and over again until they got it right. As they neared the end of the song and struggled with one particular high note, Ms. Lee suddenly turned to Yeseul. 

“I know you’re training technically starts on Monday, but I want you to sing that part for me.” 

The young woman sang the part a few times until the teacher was satisfied with her technique and even used her as an example to explain to the other trainees what they could do differently. Yeseul felt a little uncomfortable. She did manage to impress her vocal teacher but at the same time, she saw one of the trainees giving her the stink eye. It was a tall girl who she assumed to be a little younger than her. She had a clear voice but not a very wide range. Her plans of not grabbing too much attention and laying low went out of the window. 

After the spontaneous presentation, Yeseul sat back down and was grateful she got to remain seated until the end of the lesson. As the lesson ended, Ms. Lee left fairly quickly because she had a meeting to attend and they were given a half an hour break before the dance evaluation.

Yeseul didn’t even get the chance to worry about how to make friends because as soon as the teacher had left the room, one of the trainees walked right up to her with a bright smile on her face. 

“I’m Jung Jaehee, nice to meet you!” Yeseul gave her a shy smile in return, a little overwhelmed. Not that she was complaining. 

Jaehee was only a few centimeters taller than her, had short hair cut into a bob, and a fairly loud voice. “You’re a really great singer, do you know that? Do you think you could give me some tips? I’m actually training to be a rapper but I want to improve my singing too so I can show different sides of me.” She felt herself blush at the kind compliment. She hadn’t really noticed Jaehee during the evaluation. She didn’t get a lot of singing parts which made sense to her now. “I’m sure I can try. Thank you, by the way.”

The two girls sat down on the floor next to each other as everyone waited for the dance teachers. They got to talk quite a lot and Yeseul slowly but steadily started feeling more comfortable. While Jaehee’s personality seemed overwhelming at first, she was very kind and understanding, offering her help in getting started as a trainee. Jaehee was 18 years old and had been a trainee for over two years already. Her specialties were dancing and rapping so she took fewer vocal classes but still had to take part in the evaluations. Yeseul could have also chosen to take rap classes but decided against it, knowing it wouldn’t be for her at all. 

The younger of the two was currently living in a dorm with some of the other trainees and promised her to introduce all of them to Yeseul later. 

They would have loved to talk more but soon two dance teachers arrived and the dance evaluation began. 

Watching them perform their dance routine made Yeseul even more nervous than the vocal evaluation did. They were in sync, all of them on a similar level, no one stuck out in a negative way. They worked as a perfect team and she would probably have to practice night and day to catch up with them. But that’s exactly what she had literally signed up for only a few hours ago, there was no turning back now. She would make it somehow, she made that promise to herself. 

The dance teachers gave their feedback and corrected even the tiniest mistakes that Yeseul herself would have never noticed. She tried to take a few mental notes on what to take into consideration and pay extra attention to when she’d be learning her first choreography next week. 

It took a little over two hours until the teachers were completely satisfied with the result and let the trainees leave. At least in this class they didn’t spontaneously involve her somehow. She had a short talk with the mentors, introducing herself and receiving a short welcome. After they left, Jaehee once again ran over to her. 

Jaehee had really caught her eye during the dance performance. Even though Yeseul was clueless when it came to dancing, she could tell that the younger trainee was the best and most confident out of all of them. Her expressions were on point, her moves sharp but she still blended in perfectly with the group. 

“It’s scary, right? Everything’s new and you’re probably wondering how the hell you will be able to catch up,” Jaehee addressed her as they walked through the hallway towards the exit. They were on the way to a nearby restaurant, as lessons for today were officially over. Jaehee had also asked a few other trainees but they decided to stay and practice a little longer. 

“I’ve never danced before in my life and didn’t do very well in my audition...Saying it’s scary would be an understatement,”Yeseul replied with a nervous sigh. She received a bright smile in return. “Don’t worry, let’s make a deal! You’ll teach me how to sing and I’ll teach you how to dance so we’ll help each other get good enough to debut!” Her enthusiasm was contagious so she agreed. They sealed the deal with a handshake. 

The restaurant Jaehee led her to was small and hidden in an allway but offered a variety of delicious meals for a decent price. The trainees came here often, apparently. All of them, both female and male trainees, came together once a month after the big monthly evaluation, either eating at the place itself or getting take-out to the practice room. Smaller groups also sometimes went there simply to get lunch or for other occasions.

The monthly evaluation scared Yeseul the most. The CEO hadn’t mentioned it, she found out about it through Jaehee. Next to the separate vocal and dancing evaluations every Saturday, there was a big evaluation once a month where the trainees had to show a real, proper performance. Singing while dancing, dressed up in outfits selected by stylists, getting their makeup done, recording a practice video. The full package. The most recent one had been last week, so at least she had around 3 weeks to prepare, both physically and mentally. 

Right after placing their order, Yeseul heard another group of customers enter the store. She sat with her back to the door so she couldn’t see who it was, but Jaehee suddenly waved them over. Yeseul turned around and saw four young men walking towards them, three of which she recognized as the ones she had seen at the convenience store a few hours ago. So they are trainees after all, she assumed, considering Jaehee knew them and they kept appearing around the agency.

The boys sat down on a table right next to them and gave her curious looks. She looked eyes with the one who had helped her get the ice cream earlier today. Seonghwa, if she remembered his name correctly. She couldn’t stop a blush from appearing on her face, she wasn’t expecting to meet him again so quickly. Or to meet him again at all. 

“Guys, that’s Yeseul, she became a trainee today so you better be nice to her! And Yeseul, these are Seonghwa, San, Wooyoung, and Yeosang. They are trainees as well but preparing to debut soon.” Yeosang was the one she hadn’t seen yet, Wooyoung and San were the ones who had been bickering about which chips to buy. She shyly bowed to them. 

“Oh, I know you! We saw you earlier at the 7/11! Ah, we should have known you are a trainee…” And right after after that, Yeseul was bombarded with questions, mostly from Wooyoung. 

He asked about her age and she found out that she was actually older than all of them, except for Seonghwa. He was four months older than her.

He then went on to question her about her audition, what position she auditioned for and what songs she performed. She explained that she auditioned for a vocal position as she wasn’t very experienced when it came to dancing.

“Ahh, you should hear her sing! She’ll be the main vocal of KQ’s girl group, mark my words!” Yeseul almost choked on her water at Jaehee’s words. “You’re giving me too much credit...you haven’t even really heard me sing yet.” A smirk appeared on the younger girl’s face and Yeseul raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Oh, I have.” “How?” “I found your Youtube channel.” Her eyes widened in surprise before she realized something. “I don’t have a Youtube channel.” Jaehee shrugged. “Well, it was worth a try.”

“By the way, where are you from? You don’t look like you’re fully Korean,” Yeosang chimed in. “I’m originally from Germany. My dad is German but my mom is Korean.”

And with that, the questions about Germany started flooding in. “What is the food like in Germany?” “Fantastic but you can’t compare it to Korean food in any way.” “Is everyone really that punctual.” “Older people, yes. Our generation? Not really.” “Have you been to the Oktoberfest? Was it good?” “Uhh, a few times. But don’t go to the Oktoberfest in Munich, the smaller ones are just as fun and less packed.”

Even when their food came, the questions wouldn’t stop and Yeseul started to feel a little overwhelmed once again. Thankfully, Seonghwa, who had so far mostly only been listening intently, got his friends to stop pestering her.

“Guys, you’ve got to eat, otherwise the food will be cold.” 

She sent him a thankful glance and after the questioning was over, they all spent a relaxed meal together. Maybe making friends wasn’t so hard. Good thing Jaehee turned out to be the extrovert ready to adopt her.

[grimelords]

There is no limit to how many good songs exist! There are just so many!

My June playlist is finished, and on time too! Please enjoy all manner of bangers from Dave Brubeck, Nelly Furtado and everyone in between.

listen here

Night And Day - Hot Chip: I’ve started a band with some friends and my friend Tiana (who has requested a special shoutout in this playlist and is currently receiving it!) suggested this as a song for us to learn and she was extremely right to do it! It’s extremely funky and probably the most i’ve ever liked Hot Chip because they’ve finally allowed themselves to be emotional and feel the most important emotion of all: horniness.

Infinity Guitars - Sleigh Bells: The other day a friend of mine said ‘hey whatever happened to Sleigh Bells?’ and guess what: they have five albums and continue to release new music as recently as last year. They seem to steadfastly refuse to advance their sound and you’ve got to give them props for that. When nobody else sounds anything like you the smartest thing you can do is double down on your own weird thing. I’ve always loved this song and am totally enamoured by whatever mixing trick it is that enables this song to start loud as fuck and somehow finish even louder no matter what volume you play it at.

Hurricane - Bob Dylan: I haven’t watched the Rolling Thunder Revue thing on Netflix yet but I’m excited to because this is a good Dylan era and I’m always down for more footage of the world’s freak Bobby D acting like a maniac. This song is a good example of how have no control over how music is consumed once you release it because this is ostensibly a serious and angry protest song about a great injustice but my greatest memory of it is for at least a month when I was in boarding school a guy in my dorm would play it every morning super loud and we would all yell the words along as we were getting dressed. Having a great time being fifteen and yelling happily about a miscarriage of justice.

Grindin' - Clipse: I started putting together a playlist of songs with super minimal or no pitched instrumentation that almost totally rely on the percussion and the vocals to carry it. Basically the Pharrell special because he did it on this and Drop It Like It’s Hot and I’m sure more songs of his I haven’t heard yet. But also songs like Lipgloss by Lil Mama, Fix Up Look Sharp by Dizzee Rascal, Tipsy By J-Kwon (almost if it didn’t have the baseline) and The Whisper Song by The Ying Yang Twins. There’s heaps more I’m sure. It was a real minimal style for a little while in the mid 2000s and I think it’s great. It gives you so much space in the mix and it’s a great lesson: if the beat is hot enough and you’ve got enough charisma to carry the vocal you don’t need anything else at all.

Rock Lobster - The B-52's: Did you know the guitar in this is tuned CFFFFF? Did you know this song is nearly 7 minutes long? Did you know The B-52s had a hit with this and then didn’t have another hit until Love Shack fully ten years later? Truly everything about this song is insane.

Johnny Irony - Bad//Dreems: I think ‘are you bleeding?’ is my favourite bit of pre-song hot mic dialogue i’ve ever heard. I love the energy of this song, and what a fun throwback it is to I guess reference Lead Belly’s ancient song about doing cocaine Take A Whiff On Me for a new modern twist on a song about doing cocaine.

Girls On Film - Duran Duran: Have you ever noticed how the bass in this song is absolutely popping off? It rocks. I listened to just the isolated bass track on youtube the other day and it’s my new favourite song. I’m having a big moment with this early eighties art-funk thing where someone figured out you could put huge funky basslines into rock music and completely changed the game.  

Love - Lana Del Rey: I figured out this month that my vocal range seems to be just Lana Del Rey but an octave lower which is absolutely great news for anyone that wants to hear me sing this song in a cowboy voice in my car.

Want You In My Room - Carly Rae Jepsen: I am absolutely in love with this song and also absolutely furious at it. Absolutely in love with the way it’s written like a duet with herself, trading lines and overlapping and harmonising. The big ascending guitar line that leads into the chorus. I love how horny the lyrics are, I love the very 80s robot voice in the chorus who also wants to fuck. It’s just phenomenal, which brings me to the the think that makes me so furious: this song just fades out? After the second chorus just as the saxophone comes in? Just as it’s getting good???

Genevieve (Unfinished) - Jai Paul: It's just unbelievable how good this sounds. The bass sound. The way the whole mix seems to float around. The cuts to silence that feel like someone took a razor randomly to the master. It all culminates in this frenetic nervous energy that feels like the song could just fall apart and stop at any point. And it does! It just fades to silence and then comes back in as a totally different song near the end before fading away again.

Elephant Talk - King Crimson: King Crimson is on Spotify now and I’m comically striking them off my list of Bands I Have A Grudge Against For Not Being On Spotify. It’s always kind of surprised me that for someone who loved The Mars Volta as much as I did I never really had a big King Crimson phase. I always liked them fine, and I love this song, but I never really sat down and gave them a proper listen. Maybe now they’re on streaming that’s all about to change and my girlfriend will have to suffer accordingly.

Kids In The Dark - Bat For Lashes: Very excited for Bat For Lashes next album if this is an indication of the direction. She's always had a very hazy 80s feeling, so purposefully leaning into it is only going to be great.

CHORDS For Organ - Ellen Arkbro: My favourite lady is back with 15 minutes of rock solid chords. Something I've been thinking recently in regards to Ellen Arkbro and Holly Herndon is people who make pretentious art unpretentiously, truly believing in their process and outcomes but very aware  of and fine with the fact that it's silly, useless or unlistenable to anyone who's not interested. Ellen Arkbro posted a photo of an organ on instagram the other day and wrote "turned out this was one of the biggest instruments in berlin and it was also connected up to two other organs in the same space. Despite that I ended up playing an extremely quiet version of my music. I don't really know how that happened. I will play a louder version in st giles cripple gate in london this saturday if you're around" She posts like Courtney Barnett about her experimental organ drone music, I just love it. As for the music itself I don't really know how to explain this other than if you let it it can be extremely overwhelming. It's also the closest I've come musically to Malevich's Black Square and how I feel about that, which is hard to explain properly other that to say I love it.

SWIM - Holly Herndon: I'm obsessed with this Holly Herndon album. It's just amazing though I think the marketing and a lot of the writing about it is sort of.. misleading? There's a lot of emphasis being put on the machine learning and AI aspects of it, which as undoubtedly good and cool as they are, are sort of overshadowing what's so good about this in a simple way which is that it's just choral music for the future. It feels like it reaches so far back and so far forward at the same time it's incredible.

Too Real/Television Screens - Fontaines D.C.: I really had to stop myself from putting the whole Fontaines DC album on here because quite literally every single song on this is amazing. Just when you think guitar music is well and truly dead it pulls you back in!! Also the way he says 'aaa' at the start of Too Real just absolutely kills me.

Dangerous Match Ten - Scientist: I forget where I read it but some bass player was saying she learned to play by listening to Scientist albums, and so that made me listen to Scientist for the first time and go on a long dub trail and have a very good and dangerous day where I thought “..what if I become a dub guy?”. It’s very good. I don’t know anything about dub really, we don’t really have the jamaican population here for it to have any cultural currency like it does in america and the UK so my biggest exposure is the Dub radio station from GTA III and San Andreas which I’m now learning was mostly made up of Scientist songs anyway. Anyway dub is good, please keep an eye one me and watch as this playlist evolves into me becoming an evangelical dub guy over the next few months and start calling everyone m’brethren in a racist way.

Lipitor - Longmont Potion Castle: Lipitor. This is unfortunately unavailable on Australian spotify which is a crime but if you're from anywhere else please enjoy.

A Lot’s Gonna Change/ Andromeda - Weyes Blood: I am having such a time with this Weyes Blood album. Yesterday I spent all day playing A Lot’s Gonna Change over and over and over and today I spent all day listening to Andromeda over and over and learning how to play it. I suspect this will happen to me with the entire album, it has a complete hold over me.

I’ve listened to Weyes Blood before and she’s never really grabbed me and so it took a lot of people rhapsodising about this one to get me to give it a go and I’m so glad I finally did. This album really took me by surprise, and looking back now I love the development of her sound: from her original spacy noisy thing to the bonafide soft rock of Front Row Seat To Earth to this - an expensive sounding 70s singer songwriter pop album of absolutely devastating beauty and inventiveness.

Wasting My Young Years - London Grammar: I think what's so interesting about this song is that it sounds like an acoustic cover of a trance song. I don't really know how to explain it better than that. The way the deceptively fast four on the floor drums come in, the sort of adult-contemporary The XX instrumentation, the whole structure of it, it feels like a BBC Live Lounge cover of some forgotten rave classic. I love it regardless but it's an odd song as well.

Left Hand - Beast Coast: Beast Coast is lames and I didn't make it more that halfway through the album. On the fourth song there's a verse where one of these guys is doing that rap thing of talking way to graphically about eating pussy. He says lick lick lick it's gross. Anyway this song rocks though. The beat is that perfect mix of hard as hell and a little bit spooky and I love any song where one million guys do like four lines each.

Hung Up - Madonna: In the wake of not listening to Madame X I've been reflecting on how it's been 15 years since Madonna's last true banger, Hung Up, and in my opinion she's a legend forever for this song alone. Do you remember the Madonna x Gorillaz performance at the 2006 Grammys? Where she walked BEHIND the hologram? She still has so much to teach us. 

Never Fight A Man With A Perm - IDLES: I love just how purely sweaty man muscle this song is. 'concrete to leather' are you kidding me?? That's the coolest shit I've ever heard. 'You look like you're from Love Island' also quite good.

Speakers Going Hammer - Soulja Boy: I was listening to this the other day and had to keep stopping and rewinding because of how advanced the flow is when he says 'Style swift hot like it's July 10th/Fly chick in my whip with nice tits/Her boyfriend paid for it, I didn't" he's like five minutes in front of the beat and combined with the internal assonance it just sounds sick as hell.

African Woman - Ebo Taylor: Man goes ham on toy piano must see

(I’m Not Your) Stepping Stone - The Monkees: My friend Tiana (who I've mentioned twice now!) came to band practice and said she saw The Monkees last night. I thought no, that's impossible. The Monkees are all long dead, forgotten legends from a forgotten age. BUT I was wrong! Michael Nesmith and Micky Dolenz, the surviving Monkees tour to this day! And she introduced me to this great song which we learned for the band! Monkees forever!

Whoo! Alright! Yeah! .. Uh Huh - The Rapture: Somehow as time goes on this song becomes more and more important to me and more and more groovy.I used to think life’s a bitter pill but it’s a grand old time. Now that’s wisdom.

World Of Stone/Loinclothing - Hunters And Collectors: I've been getting very heavily into early Hunters And Collectors over the last couple of months.  I think I put Loinclothing on last months playlist as well but fuck it, it's great. It's so primal and raw it feels like the first caveman who learned to talk fronting a band of cavemen who sing songs about caveman issues and passion. I love the incredibly wide open sound the drums and bass have and the fidgety guitar combined with the unhinged vocals creates this really unique ambience of menace and power without ever getting particularly busy and losing the spaciousness. Feels like yelling about monkeys on a wide open desert plain.

Coisa No. 10 - Marcello Gonçalves and Anat Cohen: I found this song ages ago on ABC Jazz I think, and I absolutely love the intricacies of it. It twists and folds in on itself over and over and over without ever losing the groove or relaxing into anything easy. There's so much tension in it even though the melody and groove are so fun, it's a great mix. I also found out it's from an album that's a tribute to someone I'd never heard of before named Moacir Santos, so I got the great joy of discovering his music via this song as well.

Monologue/Nana - Moacir Santos: Moacis Santos, as I understand it, was one of Henry Mancini's film composition assistants and also the guy that taught all the Boss Nova geniuses like Sergio Mendes. I love this Monologue where he tells the story of a mystical vision that inspired this song, which you assume being inspired by a vision would be of mythical importance and weight and but instead sounds like the theme to a cartoon about a grandma who has superpowers.

Weird People - Little Mix: I need more info about the identity of the robot voice in this song. What is his relationship to the singer. He starts off antagonistic: “get off the wall” then commenting on what happened to her: “fell off the wall” then just echoing her: “on the other side” then becoming her “i’m living my life”. It’s complicated and hard to explain but I believe the robot voice in this song is god. Anyway this song is a masterpiece. It’s an incredibly goofy and great piece of 80s revival that imagines a glorious alternate future where Oh Yeah by Yello is the template for all pop music.

3 Legged Dog - Marisa Anderson: Marisa Anderson used to write songs with words here and there among her instrumentals but it seems that over the last couple of albums she’s decided to stick to instrumentals only which I think is a shame. She’s obviously brilliant at it but I’d hate to be missing out on beautiful little slices like this. I love how small time this song is, it feels like a song you’d sing to yourself more than a song for anyone else.

Nighttime Suite - Adam Gnade & Demetrius Francisco Antuña: Adam Gnade is a guy I’ve been following for about ten years now who seems determined to stay obscure. He self-releases all his stuff in limited editions or on cassettes, some of my favourite things he’s ever done don’t seem to be available anywhere digitally any more (if they ever were). I remember years ago he seemed hard up for cash and he ran a deal on his website called a ‘lifetime subscription’ where if you sent him I think $100 he would send you everything he’s ever done AND would continue to send you everything he made in the future for the rest of his life. It was absolutely great, I would get CD-Rs and tapes and zines and things delivered randomly to my mailbox every so often for a couple of years and they were all fantastic. I guess at some point my lifetime subscription lapsed because he’s released a bunch of stuff I haven’t heard or read but that’s ok, you shouldn’t be able to buy someone’s eternal soul for $100.

Adam Gnade has developed his own style of folk music where he just recites a sort of prose poetry over music and it’s incredible. In the hands of anyone else it could feel overly pretentious, and he pretty often rides that line. He’s reaching for a sort of poet laureate of Americana ideal but very often he actually grabs it. His writing is great and magnifies the minor details of normal life into larger symptoms of the American mindset, like depression-era songs of marginalised and exploited people individualised and updated for the modern era. Most of the time he backs himself on a lazily strummed guitar or banjo and his music sounds like sitting on the front step or laying down in the tall grass, but for this song he’s teamed up with Demetrius Francisco Antuña for some real Godspeed feeling dark soundscapes and it’s really something.

We Are The Same - Lurch And Chief: I think it's a damn shame that Lurch And Chief broke up before they even put an album out because this song is a damn classic and I have begun praying every day for the return of Lurch and/or Chief. I love a big voice and there's two distinctly huge voices in this song fighting for position.

983/Near DT, MI - Black Midi: Fucking hell I love this Black Midi album. I'm so, so glad it exists. It feels like the next generation of the Slint Hella, Tera Melos etc lineage of math rock and I simply can't get enough of it. Pump it directly into my veins I'm obsessed with it.

Take Control - Amerie: I just screamed out loud in my car hearing this song for the first time because it samples Jimmy, Renda Se by Tom Zé one of my absolute favourite songs ever. And samples it amazingly, totally transforms it into something new while keeping the spirit of the original. Do you ever feel like a song was just made for you personally? It’s a very kind thing of my vlogger wife Amerie to do for me but I guess that’s just how she is. Also, thanks to Spotify’s new feature where you can see the actual credits for songs I got to find out that Hall And Oates are credited on this because it basically interpolates the the whole verse melody from You Make My Dreams Come True which I didn’t even realise until I looked up why they were credited.

Unsquare Dance - Dave Brubeck: Dave Brubeck's brain is huge. I can't belive it's possible to make 7/4 this funky. How come nobody else ever ripped off this rhythm? It deserves to be a whole genre. I also totally love the piano solo near the end where it turns into like a funky 7/4 stride and then abruply ends with a shave and haircut like it's 1925.

Suddenly - French Vanilla: Get a load of this fucking slice of dance punk that Discover Weekly served me up. I haven't even listened ot the album yet because I just love this song so much I'm stuck on it. Singing "I like the nightlife! I'm in the spotlight!" like you're being hunted with a knife? Incredible. The impromptue glossolalia about halfway through? Incredible. Everything about the saxophone? Incredible

Maneater - Nelly Furtado: There's nothing deft or subtle about Timbaland. Everything he does is just so heavy handed and thick. The drums in this are so straightforward and they sound like garbage cans.. Nothing ever plays at he same time as anything else . It's like a gorilla learned to play and it's absolutely fucking sick. And then the whole rest of the song! His insanely thick buzzy synth lines against the big beautifully stack clean harmonies

I, The Witchfinder - Electric Wizard: I've been getting back into Skyrim because I have a little worm living in my brain and I've discovered a good trick is to turn off the game music and turn on Electric Wizard instead. It increases the ambience because it feels like if you did an x-ray of the Dragonborn's head this is all that would be in there. It's just stoner metal in there and no other thoughts.

Music Sounds Better With You - Stardust: Can you believe how lucky we are to live in a world where the greatest song ever written is finally available on spotify? You can just listen to this any time of the night or day and immediately improve your life.

Don’t Chew - Spilled Oats: Here’s a very good and underexplored idea: what if guitar music but it sounds like chopped and screwed? Absolutely dynamite.

 As an extra bonus treat here the absolute best ever chopped and screwed channel I’ve found on youtube, please explore Scobed & Robed: https://www.youtube.com/user/scottalexanderburton

listen here

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Getting To Know...

Mïrändä.

Mïrändä’s music is a synthesis of playful commentary and catchy pop melodies; her vibrant compositions and lush lyrical worlds, rich with metaphor and subtext, are contagious by their very construction. She explores a wide spectrum of styles and sounds, and leaves the listener guessing what’s next in the musical game she has set before us. Born and raised in NYC, the young singer-songwriter has a background in theatre. Her eclectic spirit and style can be traced back to years of training in classical violin, as well as the wide range of music she grew up listening to, including The Chieftans, Queen and Led Zeppelin.

Earlier this month, Mïrändä shared ‘I Am Art,’ the culmination of her tarot-inspired singles trilogy. The video was shot and edited by Mïrändä in her New York City apartment during quarantine. What results is a stunning video, testament to Mïrändä's craft and creativity even when confined. With directorial flashes of Fritz Lang, David Lynch, and Jean-Pierre Jeunet. Mïrändä's ‘I Am Art’ song and resulting video conjures the spiritual essence of Marlene Dietrich, Kate Bush, Elizabeth Fraser, Mazzy Starr, Marika Hackman, Tori Amos, Bjork, Alison Goldfrapp and Enya.

We had a quick chat with Mïrändä all about life in quarantine, ‘I Am Art’, her creative process and more. Read the Q&A below.

Hi Mïrändä! How are you? How have you been coping with the current situation?

“Hey! I’m alright. I’m in quarantine in NYC with my parents and as far as we know we’re all safe and healthy. Some days are incredibly difficult but I feel very fortunate. Just trying to take things one day at a time.”

You recently released your new single and video 'I Am Art'. What's the story behind the song and the concept of the visuals?

“I wrote ‘I Am Art’ over a year ago but I don’t think there could have been a more fitting time to release it. The message of the song feels so relevant to the current times and so far, it seems to resonate with my audience.

“It is about human resilience in the face of illness, learning to appreciate and find beauty within the challenging moments and the power of art to bring healing energy in dark times.

“I shot and edited the music video for ‘I Am Art’ on my phone the first week of quarantine. It was a satisfying distraction for me and gave me an opportunity to channel my creative energy. In this video I wanted to play with creating space within confinement and explore how we can reconnect with nature while in isolation. I filmed in my narrow hallway and worked within the limited frame of my cell phone. Through color, costume and makeup I discovered various incarnations of myself vying for expression. Limitations can sometimes set you free.”

Let's go back to the beginning for a moment..what was it that led you to make music? Who/what are your biggest influences?

“I’ve been songwriting since I was a sophomore in high school and back then I wrote mostly singer-songwriter material. The first song I ever wrote was called ‘Butterflies’ and I wrote it because I had a crush on a boy in my film class. We had an assignment to film and edit a 3-minute video and I wanted his attention so I decided to write him a song and shoot a music video with my friends. It didn’t really work but I have no regrets!

“The second song I ever wrote was also about a boy but it was a hard rock song called ‘Karma’ and it was about revenge. I discovered that songwriting was an affective way for me to channel all of my high school angst.

“I would write my vocal melodies and lyrics first and then go to my Dad to figure out the guitar chords. It was always frustrating for me to try and describe to him exactly what I was imagining and the final track never came out quite how I wanted it to.

“When I discovered Grimes it totally blew my mind that she wrote and produced everything herself and I realized that I wanted to do that too. I don’t feel like I really found my voice in music until I taught myself to produce.

“Some of my biggest influences are Janelle Monáe, MGMT, Still Woozy and pretty much anything from the 80’s, but my biggest influence is my Dad. He has supported me from the beginning and has even collected studio gear over the years so I could record my songs from home. To this day, when I lay down vocals, he engineers my recording sessions and we mix and occasionally master my songs together. He’s the man.”

That’s so cool! What's your songwriting/creative process?

“Once I started producing myself my songwriting process changed completely. Now, usually, rather than starting off with a melody and lyrics I start with the instrumental and let the production inform everything else.

“My song ideas tend to come to me as I’m writing them. Usually I’ll start out with a sound that excites me and let it take me from there.

“Melody and instrumental typically come to me simultaneously and most of the time lyrics come last. Honestly, I usually don’t know what the song is about until I’m midway through the process and sometimes not even until I’ve finished writing it. I think that that’s when some of the most exciting art is made. I love it when I finish a song and I start to notice synchronicity between the lyrics, and patterns or inflections in the melody as well as the instruments.”

Finally, are you working on any new music at the moment and what do you have planned for when this is over?

“I’m not sure yet! I’m going to continue to create and release music as often as I can. I’ve found that it’s difficult for me to stay inspired during this pandemic but I would love to put out another EP. The other day I opened up some of my old ProTools sessions and found a few songs that I wouldn’t mind revisiting. Maybe I’ll remix them and release an EP of unheard, slightly older material.”

Photo credit: Jordan TIberio

[shadesofhui]

Pentagon discography appreciation post

Want to do a post appreciating Pentagons discography, because I don’t think I’ve seen a post solely about it. Long post beware and sorry for my jumping thought process here (I tried to make it easier to read with breaks)-

Are an actively self composing group

*can reblog a post with examples of that separately if someone wants, this is long enough

Have participated in their choreography just as actively (it varies and some members are a lot more active in this than others). Kino does self choreography for the group and it has been commented that Yeo one has been making contributions. If we want to go way back to Pentagon Maker days, then we can safety say, they did it themselves. Composing lyrics and arrangements, and choreography.

I see less self choreography comments officially made nowadays, so it’s harder to comment on this. But it’s clear they are pretty active in their own dance routines and have a say in them. Round 1 and 2, it’s probably safe to assume they made those lovely chaotic choices themselves

Onto song writing and their vocals in general

Pentagon’s vocally is interesting and unique. Their tones are all different and have specific colors to them. Just like the group visually, they are not uniformed. However, they harmonize very well together despite their differences and same with their height gaps. With their set formations, Wooseok is set in places he doesn’t look out of place in the choreography and same applies to others.  It takes a lot of consideration every set to figure out placements to make sure everyone looks not out of place and as someone who did marching band myself. I can only assume the amount of time they take on spot learning and relearning at times. 

Especially, with how they have relearned multiple routines for missing members multiple times (Yanan’s hiatuses, Kinos injury, special performances).

As I commented on above, Pentagon has their own unique vocal timbres. Timbres being, as their own tone quality and sound that makes them distinguishable from the rest of the group. In some songs it’s less noticeable and others it’s quite noticeable; it’s not due to them being unable harmonize or such. Their vocal approach to a song varies on writing, composer(s)/ arranger(s), and the style and message they want the song to have. As it’s boring to go with the same vocal style every song and theme. Who wants to listen to the same song repeated differently over again with different lyrics?

Round 2, Naughty Boys, and Skateboard have more varied vocal tones. While in Spring Snow, Runaway, and Off Road they harmonize and blend their voices more. Honestly, their voices are so unique it was hard to judge and make that second list in general. If you compare their debuts album to their newest songs. Every member’s tone quality, control, range, and sound has improved noticeably.

Pentagon have been pursuing development in their music since debut and their music image hasn’t changed heavily in (my opinion). More of them finding what they like/ trying new things, though I feel they have been a group that likes to play with newer concepts in the industry. They have two main comebacks themes they like to do: Mature ones and Playful ones. 

Mature: Cosmo, Runaway, and Sha la la

Playful: Shine, Humph, and Naughty Boys (tho I debate its half/ half of both)

As you can assume their image has changed a bit since Edawn has left; as he had a part in their writing and major vocal/ rap part in songs. I don’t think anything fundamentally has changed for them in what they stand for, their music production/ comebacks, etc. Current members are getting more vocals/ rap parts and are more active on composing than before, so I’m appreciative of that.

Onwards specifically, more to their song arrangements as a whole 

Pentagon likes to play with reoccurring themes in their songs such as, sounds which can mean the complex sentence structure when getting to the roots of song lyrics .Their arrangement of sentence structure can have purposeful repeated phrases, onomatopoeia, idioms, and connotations (all can be found in Naughty Boy). This is only a short list of how much thought goes into composing a song. Careful sentence structure creates ways they can play with articulations; like Jinho holding a note to make it more emphasized (YuTO DaaaaAAA). Linguistics is not my strongest point, but I tried with the explanations a bit.

Redundancy is also found in their dance routines (references to shine in round 2 and sha la la) and song title tracks, (apparently they been making title songs with 3 characters only). They vary a lot instrumentally, (sounds made from computer/ keyboard/ real instrument); I can’t remember the technical names for some of these currently, they do use some elements over others more and some are obvious. But, not feeling the need to comment on it further at this moment. Like the varying vocal tones, pentagon’s members have their own unique composing and lyric differences. You can tell when certain members work on each song, even if it’s for another group. That’s not something you can recreate and just expect any idol to have. 

What I also enjoy with pentagons music overall: the variety of topics in their lyrics. Not solely about a girl/ love, lust, or rehashed ideas. They often write songs ideas solely for themselves without caring how it does because they wanted to write it (Hui has commented that’s how he composes). Songs written or covered for fans (you are and cosmo). Songs written about memories with each other (just do it yo!) and songs about how they are feeling over past experiences/ current ones (the greatest wall/ genius).  

Commenting now on humph and how I feel about the song’s composition individually

Humph is a well done summer comeback in my opinion. It’s minimalistic and focused on a story created with the song vocally and dance routine (and mv that really adds to it). Humph is started with broken notes (staccatos), showing a good job even musically the disconnection aka the unwillingness to apologize for breaking the rules. The members vocally in the song seem to be answering one another and that’s a theme throughout the whole song/ mv. The disconnected note is continuous a downbeat as the chord is brought in, but is taken away at sections of the songs. During the bridge (building up/ transition to the chorus) it’s not reoccurring.

I’m very limited on music theory knowledge and trying here. Trying to figure out the format of the song and wow, I went into it thinking it’s easy originally. Because the song seems simplistic but its not the same chorus repeated over again with the same versus/ and harmonies every time (AAA) by any means. The first chorus matches the harmonies of the song (trying to keep simple explanations), while the second chorus starts with the same continuous harmonies but changes partway (2:10/2:11ish), which continues right into the third chorus (2:40). It transitioned so easily into the third chorus almost didn’t notice was in the changed chorus still. I think I answered my question here from earlier. Thanks for reading my writing spilling outs and chaotic lengthy mess. Pentagons music deserves all the praise and love in the universe 

[9w1ft]

☔️

it’s been about a month now since TSL shut down. i’ve been thinking of how best to summarize my thoughts on the odd things that happened to me there and i’ve decided it’s best to split my thoughts up into a few posts. this is my first!

so, for starters! drumroll pleaaaaaase 🥁 i would like to clear the air.. i am very excited to say that i have properly identified and spoken to the real KalindaKing!

you may or may have noticed before the app shut down, but KalindaKing actually @‘d me in one of her final posts on the app, saying she had seen my theory but that sadly she is an only child.

unfortunately, yes, KalindaKing was not Kimby Kloss. i uhh, take it she herself confirmed it for me recently!

actually, about a month after posting my theory, a mutual of mine tipped me off to a social media post that seemed to be from someone who might be KalindaKing (the gist of the post was, to paraphrase, i saw a theory that i’m karlie’s sister. i wish!), and i had been keeping tabs on it for some time. the post did not get any traction (no likes, no shares) so there was no way to verify if it was related, but doing some digging and cross-referencing photos and whatnot i was left plenty suspicious.

So about 3 months went by after i had my lede on who it could be, and then 48 hours away from app shutdown KalindaKing @‘d me on TSL... so i decided to take the jump and direct message the suspicious person on social media. and, we had a match! it was her!

Can i just say she is just as delightful as she was on TSL? it was an honor to chat with her. turns out she is an active moderator under the same username on another app by the same company.

actually, 😂 the KK part is really a funny coincidence.. see, the moderator who went by the username KalindaKing on TSL originally created that username for herself because she is a moderator on the Kim Kardashian Hollywood app under the same username (she gave me permission to say that), and, alliteration, so go figure! it would appear i exquisitely took my conjectures a twist too far.

this moderator is a professional, so she did not disclose that much to me, but I was able to learn that the ‘TheSwiftLife’ account was the responsibility of her and someone else. She mentioned that Social (ie twitter/fb) was run by her. Someone else was helping out on the TSL app, ie, that account that gave out those persnickety taymoji gifts on the app. 🤨

for those of you who followed my theory closely, this newly confirmed information has likely allowed you to come to the same heartening conclusion that i did: this means that the “message to taylor” function on the app is in all likelihood indeed something that only taylor can see, or, isn’t accessible to just any glu employee. yes, those personal private messages to her were in fact kept private 🥰. that is to say, leading up to my big guess post, i had disclosed the content of my guess (that kimby was KalindaKing) using this function, asking for the go ahead here on tumblr. my theory is whoever the someone is that was helping out with the TheSwiftLife account did not have access to my secret messages, and that’s where the miscommunication between me and them occurred. oops...

if you are new here, you are probably wondering how sound this logic could be. it would also seem to be completely possible that the TheSwiftLife account simply didn't know i existed / had never read anything from me / had never interacted with me through the app.

to that i say:

i now have proof that at least one moderator from the app read my theory back in October 2018

i now have proof that the same moderator @‘d me in response to the theory 48 hours before the app closed on February 1st, despite having know about it for three months.. so i take it that it merited addressing

let me walk you through a sampler of five ‘interactions’ that occurred with me and TheSwiftLife between August and October of last year:

interaction one: 8/1 Puzzle Heart..

after showcasing some interest in the taymoji gifts and crafting my theory of what they meant, i had seen a through line in terms of the overall message being conveyed but was unsure of any of this was real. i posted here on tumblr for the taymoji gods to send me sign, and the TheSwiftLife account gave out a puzzle heart with the flavor text “put the pieces together” the chances of that taymoji being picked to be given out are, i would say, 1/128 chances. the gift giving was mainly from within a pool of the 64 song-based taymoji packs and always of one of the two rare taymoji from either pack, so, 64x2=128

interaction two, 8/29 Rabbit...

following a week of ttb using the emoji rabbit to welcome some anons into the kaylor fandom, TheSwiftLife gave out a rabbit with the flavor text “Fell down the rabbit hole...”

interaction three: 9/12 Pixels..

things felt surreal following the rabbit... so i asked TSL here on tumblr to show me a sign that proved they knew me and saw me. i said there was one taymoji out of them all (of which there are 653) that represented me. i had hoped for the pixel art heart taymoji, as it says in my profile here that i am a pixel artist... i assumed if TSL wanted to respond to my request, they’d poke around my blog and make that connection. 13 days after i made the post, they gave out that exact one. in response, i mentioned what a lovely birthday present this was, as it was coming 13 days before my birthday (i’m born on 9/25)

interaction four: 9/21 Balloons...

between the pixel heart and this next gift, i came to the conclusion that kimby could be spearheading the TheSwiftLife account (given an interaction between this blog and kimby’s instagram stories involving a yacht company), and, as i love cheesy things, i made the extra (flawed) assumption that, given KalindaKing appeared to be a pen name, it would be super duper ingenious if the KK stood for Kimby Kloss. i sent this prediction in the “secret message for taylor” function on TSL, assuming (incorrectly) whoever was on the other side could read it, and posted here on tumblr simply that “i know who you’ve been, and i take it you want me to share?” The next gift that TheSwiftLife gave out were a set of red balloons from the Mine pack, with the caption “Speak now if it’s your birthday this month”

interaction five: 10/1 Umbrella...

even so, i was very hesitant to go through with pushing my theory. it felt, again, unreal. so, i put up one more test... i asked here on tumblr something in the form of a riddle. I decided to phrase a request for them to give a taymoji in the form of a question. knowing the full range of taymoji possibilities, i picked the flavor text of a taymoji that had never been given out, and a double-rare one (which weren’t given out often) the umbrella, and put out my question: do you have my back even if it rains down on me? and the next gift given out was the very umbrella i expected, which has the flavor text “Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered!”

this span of time in particular (not limited to, but especially) is why i have a hard time not believing kaylor is real. why would taylor’s team let any of this fly, that is, why would they allow a bubbly and vocal kaylor experience this if kaylor wasn’t true?

i encourage everyone to look through my blog archive from August to October to see how it played out! it won’t take that long and i think it’s more interesting than just this post. it’s a sweet slice of time... happening before the political post, and then, the ‘wedding’ thing.

and: if you are to believe that this is all just coincidence, then you have to logically assume that every of the above interactions happened at random, with TheSwiftLife drawing from a catalog of over 100 possible choices each time, and accidentally giving something relevant each time. i am not even going to cover the many many other strange alignments between what i post on here and what kimby posts on instagram. the probability of these taymoji is enough.

even taking out of account the probability of the timing of each, and just looking at it like a kid’s math problem, it’s quite a rare outcome.

what is the probability of insinuating 5 specific symbols and drawing those 5 specific symbols out of 5 bags with 128 different symbols inside each, one after the other? 1/128 x 1/128 x 1/128 x 1/128 x 1/128 = 1/34,359,738,368

a one in 34 billion chance of it happening if it happened randomly.

you only think 3 out of the 5 coincidences above are legit? well that still an over one in two million chance. only believe in one of them? still just an 0.8% chance.

and i picked these five interactions because they hilight five times where there really couldn’t have been multiple “applicable” taymoji responses. i tried to cut out that grey zone for you, because there’s plenty of grey examples to pick from. i suppose with the balloons, they could have picked any birthday-looking taymoji and accompanied the gift with the same caption.. but in that case, it means you have to calculate the chances of them writing the birthday messaging after what happened with the pixel heart... and i don’t know how to calculate that...

i’m not even talking about how some of the taymoji given out twice coincided with celebrity appearances in the world of kaylor. i don’t know how to calculate the probability of karlie saying she’ll go to a taylor concert before a marching band hat is given out, and then her appearing at nashville the day after the marching band hat was given out again. or the paul mccartney coincidence, or the hayley kiyoko coincidence, just to name a few of the most straightforward. i’m not even gonna mention all that business about the app notifications freaking out on my phone (for which i have an excel spreadsheet up my sleeve for later should i decide to nerd out that much)

i don’t even need to touch that.

some epic sh*t was positively afoot, my darlings.

but i digress. pending, you know, ‘proof’, we have no surefire way to know about the who (or who all behind it) all of this is, but, i don’t think we need to be sure of that for the time being (uwu*). i just want to re establish that while KalindaKing was a glorious misfire, the mystery of the app still very much remains.

in my upcoming post (i need to buy myself some eyedrops or something because my eyes are redder than that st. louis park sculpture right now), i would like to rewind for a sec and set the question of who aside and refocus solely on what we learned from the gifts and what we can possibly take away from the experience as a whole.

for now, this is me saying, kimby, oops! sorry i thought you were KalindaKing and sorry for not triple checking with you. my double check was not enough. but i’m glad i took the plunge, because, better an oops than a what if, right? and i hope, at least you got a good laugh out of it! and also thank you lovely sisters ☺️ for you know, clearing the way for me to make this post. at least, that’s what it looked like to me. 📯🕊

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #226

“i couldn't take my eyes off her, but that's not what i took off that night.”

So, how are you doing today? I'm mostly fine, I guess. I'm sooooo sleep-deprived from these damn night terrors, so it has me pretty moody. Then I'm bummed as all fuckhell that Sara and I can't be together on our anniversary. What is the last song that you had on repeat? I think it waaaas... "Idiosyncrasy" (it took me five million attempts to spell that right) by Korn. Are you a hedonist/masochist/in between? Neither. The best musical performance you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, but it was WICKED. He did his signature decapitation illusion (how the fuck does that even work??), and the last song (it was a fucking amazing cover of "Another Brick In The Wall") had INCREDIBLE theatrics. I loved it. Who is your favorite drummer? *shrugs* Your favorite guitarist? Idk, really. Maybe Zakk Wylde. A vocalist with the best voice? Freddie Mercury's voice is so versatile and chill-inducing, Amy Lee is an obvious answer, Patrick Stump's voice is just so goddamn sexy, as is Brendon Urie's, as well as wide in vocal range. Do you have a band yourself? Maaaan, that'd be dope. But no. Do you write poetry or song lyrics? I used to write poems aaaaaall the time (y'know, the "I'm 14 and this is deep" kind), and I've actually really wanted to for a while now, but idk about what. Plus my word-weaving capability has drastically declined, so all I'd do is get mad. Your best memories: Meeting Sara, SARA'S FUCKING FACE WHEN SHE SAW ME IN HER BEDROOM ON HER LAST BIRTHDAY OH MY FUCKING GOD, a novel of things with Jason, seeing meerkats at the zoo for the first time, THE DAY GOD NOTICED ME THROUGH A GIF I WORKED WAY TOO HARD ON (I couldn't sleep for three days, and I wish I was kidding), uhhhh. A lot. Your worst memories: The night of the breakup, absolutely and entirely. Nothing compares. It was a slow, paralyzing trauma (don't get pissy about me using that word "as an exaggeration," it was diagnosed as such years ago) that entirely put me into an actual state of shock. I wish that night on absolutely nobody. No one. Funniest thing you've ever seen an animal do? Maaaaan, I could tell you a lot. Probably inarguably the funniest was Ginger (ex's beagle) WITHOUT FAIL losing her shit with jealousy or SOMETHING whenever she noticed Jason and I were doing anything that involved affection without her. That dog would LOSE IT with barking, tail wagging, and climbing all over him, and it was never not funny to see this fatass little dog turn into a living cockblock lmfao. OH YEAH then our late boxer Cali could be baited into howling if you did it sometimes. It was so, so cute. She'd always look so confused but do it anyway. I'm sure there're others; I've grown up with pets my whole life, but those are the only two that come to me now. What is on your mind? I wanna see Sara. Could you ever cheat on your significant other? I physically couldn't stand myself if I ever did. No. Ever been so disgraced that you had homicidal thoughts? Wow no. If so, whom did you wish to assassin? I mean I've talked about Ashley (not my sister) before, but they weren't seriously "homicidal." I wasn't going to actually do anything. If you wish to be famous, what would you want to be famous for? I don't wish it, but let's say I was. Some form of artist. ... Wait, I do want that. Errrmmm OH! A serious wildlife conservator. Do you think humanity is going downhill? Duh. What was the last thing you threw at someone? I have no clue. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? I didn't care. Have you ever ran from the police? I'd prefer to stay out of jail. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeeeaaah... When was the last time you made dinner? me?????? cook????????????? huh?????????????? Do you have any special plans coming up? I'm shooting my sister's gender reveal Sunday. :') Ash and her husband don't know the gender, so I am so fucking excited to see their reactions. Who do you want to be buried next to? Please don't bury me and just take up space. Cremate me and scatter the ashes somewhere, or do SOMETHING meaningful and creative. What is your favorite fish? Like... to eat? I haven't tried very much, but I liked striper forever and ever ago. If you mean visually, probably betta fish. Have you ever won a gold medal? Probably with kid stuff. Do you have any trophies? Also as a kid for A honor roll, as well as dance and sports overall. Do you work out? Oops no. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? It depends on who I'm talking to. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? No? Do you have any hickeys on you? Bitch a girl can wish. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? Been there, finally done that. Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I talk to her every day throughout the day. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Sara or Mom. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What are you listening to right now? I'm not actually listening to anything, but "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac is BURIED into my head rn. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? I've never tried to latter actually, but I'd probably still prefer hot chocolate, anyway. Do you make wishes at 11:11? No; I don't believe in that stuff. I have a friend who posts JUST "11:11 <3" or something like that every night on FB, and while it shouldn't, it annoys the fuck out of me. No one cares. Ever been on a golf cart? Yeah. Do you get blizzards where you live? No, never to the point where "blizzard" fits. What’s a biblical truth that you struggle with? lmao When was the last time you did something rebellious? *shrugs* Do you rebel against God a lot? I can genuinely say I don't give a fuck if I do or don't. Do you consider yourself creative? Very. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Sigh, reading. Do you ever read books to a pet? No. That seems without real purpose... and this is coming from me, an animal worshiper, just about. Like, you know they genuinely have no clue what you're saying or doing, and I highly doubt they're gonna stay still and look at the pictures. Do you have any pets? Two dogs, a cat, a rat, and a snake. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? It didn't have a set theme. Partially because I grew up with the same room as my little sister, and we had very different interests. What color was your nursery as a baby? I have zero clue. Did I even have a proper nursery??? What was the last surgery you had? Getting a cyst above my asscrack removed lmaoooo. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Sexual history. I am very, very shy talking about that kind of stuff. Who is someone you look up to? *sobs "fischfuck" at the top of my lungs* As a child, did you have people you admired? STEVE IRWIN WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EMOTIONAL DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you good at prioritizing? Eek... I'm unsure, to be honest. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? fuckin' Halloween hoe. Which holiday or season has the best decorations in stores? Soooo Halloween decor=room decor for me tbh lol. Who’s the prettiest YouTuber you watch? She doesn't have her own active YT channel anymore, but Suzy Hanson (GameGrumps' Arin's wife) is a fucking goddess. Oh, and while I've never watched her channel, I've seen Hannah Hart on GMM quite a few times, and she's actually one of my first signals that I wasn't straight because I definitely felt attracted to how naturally beautiful she is. What’s the most shocking thing that’s occurred in your life lately? Finding out my grandma has terminal cancer. How’s the weather been at your part of the world in the past week? It's been fucking hot. Thursday was the hottest October day in NC history, peaking at 100. Disgoostiiiiiing. Have you given something up recently? (for ex., candy, red meat etc.) Uhhhh well, this is semi-recently, I guess: I entirely stopped going to Chick-fil-a in protest of higher-ranking business employees or whatever supporting/making donations to anti-LGBT cults, especially conversion "therapy." What’s the worst thing about autumn? "How fleeting it is. I never feel like I get properly immersed in the experience. I blink and the leaves are gone and Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is right around the corner." <<< Perfect description. What is something you enjoy doing, even if you’re not very good at it? Drawing portraits, maybe. Do you work hard for your money? I don't have a job, never have had a stable one. However, on the occasion I'm hired to take pictures, I. Try. Really. Hard. What’s a song that most people interpret entirely wrong? "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne was first to come to mind; reasonably, people tend to think the song is about his mother, but it's rather about his wife. Calling your wife that is apparently some English petname. When’s the last time you had cake? Wow, idk, actually. I think my niece mighta had some for her birthday in June? I know my nephew had cupcakes. Yeah, I think it was her b-day. Have you ever made your own soda from scratch? I have not. How about your own jam? No. Or pickled something? No. Did you grow anything in your garden this year? No, we don't have one. Or did someone give you something they grew in theirs? No. What’s the most romantic gift anyone’s given to you? Uhhhhhhhhhh idk. Do you like woolly socks? If so, do you ever make your own? NO, especially when you put sneakers over them or something. They feel so constricted. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? A laptop that needs to be replaced, gah. Or fixed. I have a pure black crack and blob stretching across the left side of my screen that is super distracting and obscuring, and the right side of the top half is cracked along the side; I have duct tape to help keep it closed. Otherwise it's a fine laptop, though. Oh wait, and the apostrophe key is missing, so I have to hit the plastic pressure thingy that's easy to miss. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? No. If so, who has been your favorite contestant on AGT? My favorite ever was Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Still have some of his covers on my iPod. Prince Poppycock is also my gay uncle that I would die for. What chore are you behind on? I need to dust my room good lort. Have you ever broken your phone screen? No, actually. Have you ever broke your computer screen? Well, refer to earlier question. I don't know if it's technically "broke," just damaged (it's not an actual scratch, btw; it's beyond the exterior screen). I need to take it somewhere to fix it ahhhhh. What department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. Do you normally use the self-checkout or the regular checkout? Depends on how much we have. If it's just a handful or so, we just go do it ourselves. Which friend will be in your heart no matter what happens between you two? Sara, Megan. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No. OH SHIT NO WAIT, I THINK a friend and I may have wandered into Spencer's once when we were "too young." Or maybe we just got ID'd. Idk, idr. What was the stupidest mistake of your life? Turning a person into my sole source of "real" happiness, giving my entire soul to a flawed human being, being naive about love, all that jazz. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? Well, she unfriended me. We're friends again now tho I think I pissed her off again. Oops. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on YouTube? If yes, which twin is your favorite: Niki or Gabi? I've heard of 'em, but don't know anything about/watch them. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. The Handmaid's Tale is now right behind it. What do you want for your birthday this year? My '19 birthday has already passed, but if you mean like, my next one, idk. Maybe a new phone considering mine is GODawful with so many problems. Alllllthough I'm entirely aware I'll be putting a tattoo first, so... it depends on what I have, ha ha. Do you like rock music? Yep. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!! What do you usually take for headaches? Advil/Ibuprofen. Have you ever switched doctors because of mistreatment? Or moreso carelessness and immeasurable ignorance masked by over-confidence. Do you film or record your doctor’s appointments? ??????????????????????????????? Can you even do that?????????????????? Which accomplishment are you most proud of yourself for? So, this kinda depends. I'm most likely to say "recovery," but I honestly give almost all credit to my psychiatrist and therapists. So I don't usually see *me* as playing a big role in it. Idk. So other days I'll say way more confidently graduating in the top 10% of the graduating class as a senior. Do you feel like you’ve accomplished anything yet with your life? Well yeah. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination I take of Vraylar + Lamictal due to how they interact and being massively responsible for me being stable. What is your favorite vitamin, and why? Do people???????????? have fave vitamins????????????????? List 5 people you know who have never been mean to you. Uh. I think Connie is it out of the people I know well/have known for a long time, lol. Would you rather do a craft project or a science experiment? s c i e n c e  b i t c h Do you say garbage, trash, rubbish, or something else? "Trash," usually. Which Bratz doll was your favorite? I didn't have a favorite. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? ^ Which American Girl doll was your favorite? I don't remember. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but I find them veeeeeery pretty when decorated well. What color band and stone does your class ring have? I didn't get one. Can you see the mountains from where you live? No, I wish... What is your favorite Lisa Frank character? angel!!!!!!!!!!!! KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you believe in the power of prayer? Not in the slightest. What color eyes does the person you like/love have? Are they pretty? A beautiful brown. Obviously if I call them beautiful. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon cries. I never really like... showed just how much though. Looking back on when I was a kid, I took embarrassment poorly even then. Other girls thought I was weird for bringing a Psyduck plushy with me to school everyday, everyone in pre-k looked at me like "huh" when I brought my little Snorlax plush in for show-and-tell, I came to a point of only watching it when my sister was asleep, I was too scared to ask for the games, and- jfc okay I'm actually realizing I need to go back to therapy to talk about how deep my AvPD truly is rooted oops lmao. Do you eat chili when you get a hot dog, or do you like it plain? Chili is disgusting. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None got to the point of me feeling *actually* drunk. I've only ever been tipsy. When was the last time you acted really immature? *shrugs* Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? Yeah, a few. When is the last time you sat around a campfire? I don't have a clue. Is there an important event coming up at your school? I think? It's some event all freshmen have to attend to all damn day and I'm not looking forward to it. It's for a good cause, but. It's gonna be a drag and I've had two incidents this school year of once collapsing and just last week almost fainting and vomiting just from the heat. Do you have a back-up career choice? What is it? Something with writing, I guess. Well, I ideally want to be a professional photographer but also a zoologist, but if photography goes absurdly well (this is incredibly unlikely, I know, but it's doable), I may not aim for a zoologist career, but get the necessary degree for it as back-up. I want an unquestionably stable back-up choice. My minor is Journalism, so like I mentioned up top, yeah, if things really go shitty, something in writing is an option. Would you ever get caught with a fake ID? No. Do you think religion justifies treating people unequally? I don't see the supposed "rationality" in this at all. No. Are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair? I guess it depends on the person, but I think I'm generally more attracted to men with longer hair. What color was the ink of the last pen you used? Black. Is there a name that you hear and cringe? I can't really say "cringe," but without fail, it's obvious who and what I think of the moment I hear the name "Jason," and it always causes this dull pain in my chest. What color are your dad’s eyes? They're dark brown. When you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry? No. Is your favourite TV show very popular? That '70s Show is, and Fullmetal Alchemist is among anime fans, at least. I don't think too many people know about Meerkat Manor, but I know it was and possibly still is Animal Planet's highest-grossing series, so it sure was big for viewers of that channel. What are you absolutely determined to do? Become at least a semi-successful photographer, make a great life with Sara, support my mom one day like she always has me, mostly overcome anxiety, photograph and touch a habituated meerkat of the KMP... a handful of things. Where would you rather be from? Somewhere in the U.S. that's not a homophobic, racist, gun-fucking, Bible-thumping cesspit of closed-minded shits. I love NC. How often do you play sports? Never. What website do you visit most often? YouTube. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn? I stopped this as a young teenager, but I know I was one of those kids who used "retarded" as a substitute for "stupid." I absolutely hate that shit. I also had to unlearn uhhhh... man, I know there's a lot, I'm just blanking right now. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? Interesting to me personally, Chicago. Cities that massive are foreign to me. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? Scene fashion was art, don't @ me. What’s the best way to start the day? SLEEPY CUDDLES W/ YOUR S/O. What kind of art do you enjoy most? Man, idk. I love art so much. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? That's a good question. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Literally today/yesterday when I watched the secret stream Mark did of gathering viewers to anonymously destroy random but small Twitch streamers' charity goals & he was too motivated and inspiring & everyone was so fucking confused but thankful and it was literally the most inarguably Chaotic Good thing I have ever borne witness to. For three hours I couldn't stop fucking smiling. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hell if I know. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? lol guess How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don't work. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? TV show? 13 Reasons Why is a hell no. The Human Centipede I wouldn't watch over my dead fucking body. Where would you spend all your time if you could? All my time? Idk. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? Improving the world. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? I couldn't even try to answer that question. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? I dunno, probably a lot. Maybe food? Ensure it's safe, at least. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? Not flipping over in the wreck we got in when I was a kid, probably. All factors of it considered, we were told flipping would have been far more likely than my mom managing to keep us on four wheels. What are some small things that make your day better? Multiple things. Sara feeling positive, I'm fucking awful so having a yummy soda gives me a measly drop of Serotonin, I love seeing Venus come out of her rock to wander around, finding a new song to become utterly addicted to is great, cool weather outside... things like that. I'm sure there's more. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? REALLY want? A trip to South Africa. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Uhhh idk. Otep, I suppose. As a band, anyway. She's actually the QUEEN of bigoted bitches. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? N/A What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? Oh, idk. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? Still a photographer. Have you ever saved someone’s life? No. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned? People can tell you they'll always be there and still leave in the blink of an eye. What’s something you are self-conscious about? Unconventional interests/hobbies and my body. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What was the best compliment you’ve received? Idk. What’s the most immature thing that you do? Not gonna lie, I can act bratty if I don't get something I SERIOUSLY want. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? None, really. What have you created that you are most proud of? A novel of very developed and deep RP characters over the years. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? Learning German. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Mom dying. Being independent. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? Most out of place? Would, like not one I've actually experienced? Uhhh idk. An orgy lmao.