#LIKE EXCUSE ME UNIVERSE WHAT ARE YOU DOING

[coff33andb00ks]

Rule Breaker - Pt 3

max Verstappen x single mom!reader

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warnings: cursing, jos is an even bigger asshole, barely proofread, logan's there, glazed-over mentioning of childhood trauma Summary: Max has it all...right? Besides, he's too busy collecting trophies and completing side quests for anything else. Until... You moved across a whole ass ocean to start over, uprooting you and your son's lives to become social media admin for cars that drive in circles. word count: 7937 (i got so carried away holy shit) auth.note: listen, eagle boy swayed me with his pretty eyes and soft voice... also this was a great excuse for me to rewatch Mulan for the millionth time. spotify: i made a playlist

"Team meeting in ten," GP commented.

Max nodded, eyes following y/n through the window as she paced in the small courtyard, talking on her phone. He hadn't seen or spoken to her since they'd finished the Q and A the day before. Surprisingly, he'd actually enjoyed it. He told himself it was because she'd made sure to gather thought provoking questions, not because some of his answers had made her laugh and her laugh made him feel relaxed. GP turned to look out the window and Max quickly looked down at his plate, even though he'd just taken the last bite of his breakfast. When the engineer turned back, Max could feel his amused expression.

"Looks like it might rain," GP said casually.

Nodding again, Max washed down the last of his food with his coffee. "More chances for fuck ups."

"It's not a crime."

He finally looked up. "What?"

GP nodded towards the window.

"If rain was a crime, would they put god in prison?" Max asked, keeping his face blank when his friend snorted and rolled his eyes.

"You're not a robot, Max."

From the corner of his eye he could see her approaching Christian, who was coming from the garage. "I never said I was."

"Then stop acting like one. You're still young, I guess you're attractive, and you're at the top of your career."

"Thank you for that endorsement," Max said drily. Horner had stepped aside with y/n, whose hands were moving as she spoke to him. "I'll be sure and put it in my Tinder profile."

GP's eyebrows lifted. "You have one?"

"Fuck no." He pushed his chair back. "I don't have time."

"Max," his friend sighed.

"I'll see you at the meeting." He took care of his dishes, making sure to thank the staff working the dining area before leaving the motorhome, telling himself it was so he could get some fresh air and clear his head for the meeting. His legs carried him around the corner to where y/n and Christian were still talking, and he boldly approached.

"…speak to him." Christian shot a look at Max.

"If he was joking I wouldn't think twice about it.," y/n said, frowning. "But I don't see how it could have been. He was extremely rude, implied I wasn't worth hiring based on my looks, and…"

Max kept his mouth shut, knowing she needed to do the speaking. Giving her a faint nod when she looked at him, he felt a glimmer of pride when she straightened her shoulders.

"I didn't spend four years in college – sorry, university – and work three jobs at once to be demeaned. I know I have the skills and drive to do my job, but if this team continues to foster that sort of toxic environment you'll have to look for a new social media admin," she said firmly.

He tried to but couldn't keep the smile from forming.

Christian looked slightly impressed, giving her a reassuring nod. "I understand. He's not employed by us, he's only here by our good graces."

"I know he's the father of the your top driver, and I spoke with him before coming to you," she said, as though Max wasn't standing right there.

Christian pressed his lips together and Max knew he was trying to hide his smile. "Of course. We'll deal with it, I promise."

"Thank you." She relaxed, sighing softly. "I'm not trying to cause trouble, Mr. Horner."

"It's Jos fucking Verstappen, he's the trouble," Christian muttered. "Don't worry, alright? If anyone ever gives you a problem, reach out to me."

She nodded. "Thanks again. Oh!" She turned to Max, smiling hopefully. "I already asked Checo and he said yes to doing it this week. Would you be up to 24 hours with you at Monaco? Not the full 24 hours since I don't want to watch you sleep, but I just stick with you for the rest of the day and show fans a behind the scenes look at what a practice or quali day for you looks like."

"Why?" he asked, still stuck on the thought of her watching him sleep.

"Well! Casual fans don't realize how much work goes into being you. The training and diet and analyzing and teamwork. All the stuff you do even before practice and quali, like walking the track."

"For the whole day."

"Yeah, except for sleeping. I mean, that would probably really ramp up views, but—"

"I'm not that interesting though," he said. Why would anyone want to spend a practice or quali day with him?

"Oh don't start with the modesty. You're an elite athlete. I'm not asking you to invite me into your bedroom and let me show your bed to the world, just a small peek at what you're like. We can highlight your sim racing, explain how it's helped you learn the tracks so well. Talk about your suit, why the fireproof is so important." She tipped her head. "Maybe a shot of your suitcase to prove you do have clothes other than Red Bull gear? If you do, because I'm beginning to think you only have one pair of jeans and a Red Bull shirt."

He laughed at that, shaking his head. "I guess I can do it. We'll see how Checo's goes."

"Perfect. Speaking of, I'm doing that tomorrow so I gotta start posting to hype it up—"

"Meeting in two minutes," Christian told them.

Max looked at him, chagrined to admit he'd forgotten the man was there. "On the way," he promised, rubbing the back of his neck when Christian shot him a knowing look and headed off. Turning back to y/n, he cleared his throat. "I'm not showing my suitcase to the world."

"Is it that embarrassing?" she asked, clicking her tongue in sympathy. "Do you have Red Bull boxers too?"

"No, I—" he cut off, remembering the company's joke birthday gift to him the year before. "Okay, I do, but they're not in my suitcase."

"At least let me throw a team logo pillow on the bed—"

"Absolutely not."

She fell into step next to him, an extra bounce in her walk. "Are you saying there's already one there?"

He shouldn't say it. It would probably be inappropriate. He told himself that repeatedly, even as he drew a breath and opened his mouth. "Why the interest in my bed?"

"I told you, I love sleep. Oh." She frowned. "It'll be a hotel bed anyway."

Opening the motorhome door for her, he glanced up at the cloudy sky as the aroma of flowers he couldn't identify washed over him. "No?"

"Are you saying you get an Airbnb?" she asked in confusion. "Do they even have that in Monaco—"

"You didn't know? I thought you asked Google everything," he teased.

Her brow furrowed deeply. "Didn't know what?"

"I live in Monaco. So no, it wouldn't be a hotel room."

The confusion melted away, her eyes widening a little. "Oh. Wow."

"Wow?" he echoed, heading to the stairs.

"You're rich rich."

"Don't say that," he requested, making a face. She made wealth sound dirty.

"In my defense I didn't think to look up everyone's salary when I got hired. I mean I knew you were rich, but—"

"Stop saying it—"

"Sorry." She smiled sweetly, which told him she wasn't sorry at all. "Have a good meeting, Max. Oh, wait!"

He stopped at the top of the stairs, huffing when she lifted her phone and snapped a photo of him. "Why do you need a picture of me right now?"

"To show the world that even Max Verstappen, three time world champion, record breaker and maker, is sometimes late for a meeting."

Dragging a hand over his face, he sighed. "You're in a strange mood today."

"I'm getting comfortable. It's what I do. Lull everyone into thinking I'm sweet and quiet, then once I know I can relax I let my true self out."

"I'm scared to ask what your true self is," he admitted, ignoring his phone when it began to buzz with a phone call.

"Chaos," she told him, snapping another photo. "And I'm so putting a team logo pillow on your bed next week."

"No," he warned her as she turned to go back down the stairs. "No pillow."

"Go to your meeting or I'll post on Twitter than you have Red Bull boxers!"

"You wouldn't."

"Try me, rich boy."

And, damn everything, he laughed. She spun at the bottom of the stairs, giving him a smile that was pure sunshine. Not about to tempt fate, he held up his hands in surrender and went to the conference room for the meeting, still smiling as he slid into his seat next to Checo. When the meeting was over he hung back, his smile long gone as he waited for whatever Christian had to say.

"Two things," Christian started, leaning back in his seat with a sigh.

Max rolled his water bottle between his hands and stayed silent.

"Your dad."

He nodded. "I'll talk to him—"

"He's on probation now. If he so much as looks at anyone the wrong way, he'll be banned from the garage and the paddock." Christian steepled his hands. "It would probably be best if I did it now, but…"

"I'll talk to him," Max said again, already dreading that conversation. "Sometimes he speaks before he thinks, and unfortunately y/n was on the receiving end."

"Are you defending him?"

"No. I'm saying…" What was he saying? He didn't even know himself, so how could he explain it to Christian?

"You're saying what he would expect you to say. Max." Christian leaned forward. "I know he's your father. But – what did y/n say? He creates a toxic environment."

Max was on his feet and pacing before he realized he was moving. "What do you want me to do? Cut him out of my life completely? He's my dad. He made me who I am." Slinging his cap onto the table, he ran a hand through his hair. "He gave up on a marriage so I could achieve my dreams. I know people call it abuse and yeah if I could change the past I would, or at least some parts, but… Would I be me if he didn't do what he did?"

Christian sighed and Max hung his head. The bitterness between team principal and his father had been around as long as he could remember. And he understood, he did. Most days even he didn't like Jos that much.

"What he said to y/n was unacceptable. I know that. When she told me, I…" He paused, unsure whether he wanted to admit what his first thoughts had been. Starting to pace again, he stopped at the window and looked outside, noting that the earlier clouds had rolled away. "I was ready to tell you to ban him."

Christian nodded. "You sure you want to talk to him? Because I'll do it. I don't have a problem telling him to go fuck himself."

"I should do it," Max said with a sigh.

There was silence from Christian, and Max finally snatched up his hat and sat back down. "I'll do it, Max."

He would never admit to the rush of relief at those words. "What was the other thing?"

"Y/n."

He set his jaw. "What about her?"

"She's off limits."

Max blinked. "How do you mean?"

"I've seen the way you look at her."

He pinched his eyebrows together. He wasn't aware he'd been looking at her in any particular way. He just…looked at her. It was true that she did make him smile a little bit more than he usually did, but that had to be due to her self-professed chaos—

"It's in her contract. Yours too, I'm sure."

"I'm – Nothing's happened." Yes, she'd slept in his private room and yes, his sheets had smelled of her and given him dreams he shouldn't have been dreaming. But nothing else had happened.

Soft hands, plush hips, bright eyes, lush mouth—

"Keep it that way. We can't afford another PR disaster."

Max snorted, unsure how anything he did – not that he would do anything – with y/n could come close to the disaster Christian had caused. "I'm not texting her, so."

"Cheeky bastard," Christian muttered. "Go get prepped for practice."

Grabbing his water bottle from the floor, Max left. Off limits. What the hell did that even mean? He couldn't be friendly with her? He couldn't keep his promise to watch a movie with Kevin?

Fuck Christian anyway, he wasn't one to talk about someone being off limits, he decided. He went down for another coffee, inconspicuously looking around for y/n. Not seeing her, he turned his attention to the upcoming practice, trying his best to push his worries about his father to the back of his mind.

When he approached the garage he saw her, and he frowned slightly when he saw Logan talking to her. Did they know each other? They obviously did, judging by the way she laughed at something he said. Sourness filled his mouth and he gulped down his water, grunting when a hand suddenly clapped his shoulder.

"Mate, you coming out tonight?" Lando asked with a grin.

"Not a good idea to go out before quali, mate," Max said automatically.

"I'm not gonna get drunk. A few of us are just going out to eat. You in?"

"I think I'll skip it. But we'll go out Sunday?"

Lando's grin widened and Max chuckled, knowing he was remembering what little he could of the celebration in Miami. Lando loved to party after a race. "Absolutely. Good practice, yeah?"

Max grinned, bumping fists with him before they parted. The American was still talking to y/n. Didn't he need to get ready? Go fluff his hair or something? Walking up to them, he nodded at Logan. "Have a good practice alright, mate?"

"Oh, yeah, better get to the garage." Logan turned and flashed a smile at y/n. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Sure. Be safe," she said.

She was smiling a little too hard, in his opinion. And then she was—

Hugging? Him?

Max felt like he might vomit.

"Later, Max," Logan said as he jogged off.

"What did he want?" Max asked.

She looked up from checking something on her camera. "Hm? Oh, nothing, just chatting. He's nice."

"Yeah, a complete sweetheart," he said with a roll of his eyes. Then, shoving the sourness away, he cleared his throat. "I've got the sim racing tomorrow after quali, then the race is Sunday."

Y/n blinked, then nodded slowly. "Yes?"

"I promised Kevin we'd watch the movie?" he reminded her.

"Oh, yeah. Don't worry about it, I know you're too busy. He hasn't even mentioned it again, I'm sure he's already forgotten." She turned slightly and knelt to take pictures of his car in the garage.

"But I promised."

"Max, it's really not that big a deal."

It was. To her it might not be. If she couldn't do something with her son when she had promised she could, she was able to do it another time. He couldn't just show up to her flat to watch a movie. And Kevin had been so excited… He tried not to remember all the promises that had been made to him as a child, promises he had learned at an early age would never be kept. "Y/n…"

She looked up at him, drawing a breath to, he was sure, tell him again that it was fine. But she paused, studying his face, and he heard her sigh as she lowered the camera. "This is really important to you, isn't it?"

"And to Kevin," he pointed out.

"He did talk about it a lot last night before he went to sleep. Made sure the hotel tv had Disney plus and asked if Ellie would buy some popcorn…" She sighed, smiling. "Did you want to do it next week before Monaco?"

"I was thinking today? After the practice and debrief. If you're not too busy," he added, unintentionally looking towards the Williams garage.

"No, I don't have any plans. Just editing and posting, and I can do that while you two watch a movie. I've got plans for dinner, but there's plenty of time."

"Plans?" he asked, trying his best to sound casual.

"Yeah! Logan offered to take me out to see a little of the town. He's offered to be my tour guide."

At night. Now he knew he would vomit. "How delightful," he managed.

"Yeah, he's sweet. Don't worry, I won't give away any secrets."

The sourness returned, doubled, and he recognized it now as jealousy. Which was beyond ridiculous, because she wasn't his to be jealous over. Seeing that she was about to stand he immediately offered his hand, easily steadying her as she rose to her feet.

"Thanks."

He wondered what sort of cream she used on her hands. They were so soft. "Y/n—"

"Max!"

Y/n's smile faded and she practically snatched her hand away. "I'll message you the hotel info," she said, turning on her heel and sweeping into the garage.

"I need to talk to you," his father demanded.

Looking into the garage, he saw that he had a full thirty minutes before practice began. No way out of this conversation. Nodding, he followed his father to a relatively secluded spot, keeping his head down.

*-*

"His father is such an asshole, honestly. We were talking outside the garage and he marched up like he owns the—" Y/n glanced to make sure Kevin still had his headphones on and wasn't listening in. Seeing that he did and wasn't, she turned back to Ellie. "—fucking place and barked at him all 'I need to talk to you' like the guy isn't about to go out on the track."

Ellie made a face. "What a prick. What did he have to say to him that was so important?"

Y/n shrugged, bending to gather the dirty pair of socks off the floor. "No idea. He dragged him off and I could see them but couldn't hear anything. I felt so bad for Max."

"I would have too. And he didn't say anything when he got back to the garage?" Ellie smoothed the bedding while y/n stuffed the dirty laundry into a sack.

"Not to me." Sighing, y/n dropped the sack inside the bathroom and then got down on her hands and knees to make sure nothing embarrassing was lying around. "He looked like a kid getting yelled at, Ellie. I had no idea his dad was that much of an—"

She saw Kevin moving and stopped, getting to her feet while he set his tablet and headphones on the table. "Gotta pee, mama," he said, sliding out of the chair.

"Did you finish your game?" she asked while Ellie looked around to make sure the hotel room was presentable.

"Yeah, it's easy," Kevin said.

"Are you gonna tell him?" Ellie whispered.

"No… What if he can't make it? I don't want to get his hopes up." Y/n pushed the chair in at the table and checked the tablet, seeing that Kevin had indeed finished the alphabet game she'd downloaded that morning for him.

"If he doesn't come, maybe we can—" Ellie laughed when there was a knock at the door. "Never mind."

"It might not be him," y/n muttered, even though she knew it had to be. He'd been so insistent, and she'd been able to tell that it was possibly more important to him than it would be to Kevin.

"I'll make sure the lil rugrat washes his hand," Ellie murmured, slipping into the bathroom.

Y/n rubbed her hands on her thighs and went to open the door, giving the hotel room one last glance before doing so. And, just as she'd known, Max was in the hallway. "Hey," she greeted softly, eyes widening a little when she saw he was wearing a pair of sweats and a hoodie. "Holy shit, you're allowed to wear non-Red Bull clothes?"

He snorted, letting out a laugh when she just stared at him. "Very funny."

"No, no, I'm serious. Isn't that in your contract or something?" Stepping back, she finally gave him a grin. "C'mon in."

"I don't know if he's allowed, but I brought some sweets." Max held up the grocery bag hanging from one finger.

"Yeah, he's allowed. No allergies or anything," she assured him, closing the door once he'd stepped inside. "He's washing his—"

"Mister Max!"

Y/n nearly teared up. Her son sounded so excited, and she had a moment of panic for letting him befriend Max. He was too busy to drop by regularly, and after Monaco Kevin would be staying home with Ellie, so—

"There's my little mate!"

Fuck's sake, even Max sounded excited. As though a movie with a three year old was the height of his day. Looking on as he swung Kevin up and spun him in a circle, she took the bag and emptied the packets onto the table while Ellie greeted Max and brought out the popcorn from where she'd hidden it from Kevin. Max and Kevin talked nonstop to one another, Max telling him about practice after Kevin gave him a detailed report on what he'd done all day. The boy grabbed his tablet and showed him the games he'd played, showing off his alphabet skills.

"You're good with letters, yeah? Maybe you'd be good learning a new language?" Max suggested.

"Do you know a new language?" Kevin asked.

"He's really good with him," Ellie whispered to y/n.

"Shh," she hissed. Because she already knew. And she didn't need it pointed out to her. Besides, she was listening to Max tell Kevin about the languages he spoke, then to him rattle off a few sentences in each one, much to Kevin's amazement.

"Can you teach me?" he asked hopefully.

"When I can, kleine maat." Max ruffled Kevin's hair. "That means little mate."

"You're my big mate," Kevin decided.

"Grote maat," Max said, repeating it slowly a couple times before Kevin said it properly. "There you go. You'll be speaking Dutch like a pro in no time."

"You want a drink, Max?" Y/n offered. "We don't have Red Bull, sorry—"

"Water's fine. Thanks."

"Can I have water too, mama?"

Nodding, y/n fixed their drinks while Kevin turned on the TV and opened Disney+, rolling her eyes when he told Max the password so he could put it in for him. She saw that Ellie was putting on her shoes and raised her eyebrows. "Where are you going?"

"Oh, I don't want to intrude on big mate, little mate bonding time," Ellie said with a small smile. Peeling Kevin from Max long enough to give him a quick hug, she grabbed her wallet and phone. "And I've seen Mulan about six hundred times, so I'm just gonna go for a walk. Take pictures. Get a coffee and a pastry."

"Have fun," y/n said.

"Mhmm, you too," Ellie said with a smirk as she left.

She rolled her eyes and handed Max his drink then Kevin his cup. Motioning for Max to have a seat on the small sofa, she couldn't help but smile when Kevin immediately climbed to sit next to him, and had the feeling that before the movie was over her son would be cuddled close to his big mate.

"Join us?" Max asked while Kevin looked for the movie.

"Work," she reminded him, transferring the sweets and popcorn to the coffee table and getting her laptop. "I'll watch from here."

"It doesn't look very comfortable."

"It shouldn't. It's work."

He looked ready to argue, but instead took a sip of his water and grabbed a bag of candy. Tossing it onto the table, he gave a small shrug when she looked at him. "You said you like strawberry milk."

Y/n looked from him to the bag several times. He remembered that? She'd mentioned it during the Q and A, when the question had been other than red bull what's your favorite drink? Staring at the bag, she felt a sudden rush of warmth. No one had bought her candy in so long… "Thank you," she murmured.

"You're welcome," he said softly.

She almost told him he didn't have to, but she knew that he already knew that. He'd done it because… She didn't know. Maybe to apologize for his father's behavior. Maybe to show he listened. Maybe, just maybe, because he'd seen it in the shop, remembered her liking strawberry milk, and had bought it because that was something he did, buy a little something for no other reason than you said you liked it.

She tried to focus on work, but the movie kept getting her attention. Finally she gave up, scheduling the posts she'd edited and closing her laptop. Grabbing a bottle of water, she joined them on the sofa as Mushu revealed himself to Mulan. As she'd expected, Kevin had already crawled into Max's lap, sharing his bag of popcorn with the man as they both focused on the movie.

"Mama," Kevin whispered, reaching for her.

She scooted closer, sighing as he turned so he could lean against her arm. Max shifted, and she tried to act nonchalant when he draped his arm behind her on the back of the sofa. Smoothing her son's hair, she pretended not to notice when the arm slid to her shoulders. He probably hadn't even noticed, she told herself, aware that his eyes were locked on the TV screen, paying attention to the movie. When Kevin's favorite part began he sat up, quickly sliding to the floor to sing along and she fully expected Max to pull away from her.

But he didn't, and she pulled her knees up, unable to focus on anything except the weight of his arm around her. It was solid but not uncomfortable, a very real reminder that she hadn't been in this position in a very long time.

"He's so mean," Kevin mumbled as Shun-Yu appeared on the screen. Y/n waited for him to hurry over to climb into her lap but he chose Max instead, and she bit back a sigh when the man gently soothed him, hugging him close.

"It's okay, kleine maat. The good guys will beat him, yeah?" he murmured, pausing the movie.

Kevin nodded against Max's shoulder. "Yeah but he's bad."

"A lot of people are," Max said softly. "But if we focus on that we don't see the good. Do you think about your happy days more or your bad days?"

"Happy days," Kevin said.

"Because they make you happy, yeah? If you think about bad days you'll always be having them. It's like that with people. Focus on the good and do what you can to keep the bad from happening. Bad happens, but the good will always be there."

"Okay."

"You ready to finish the movie?" Max asked gently.

Kevin nodded.

Max finally looked at y/n, glancing down when he saw the way she was staring at him. "I didn't—"

"No, you're good," she promised in a whisper, picking up the remote to resume the movie then hugging her knees. If she didn't occupy her arms, she would throw them around him. Usually she had to explain those things to Kevin. Ellie helped, of course, but Kevin always came to her for more explanation after a life lesson. But Max… He'd explained it so eloquently and gently that he'd understood. And she didn't know why, but, god help her…

It was the sexiest thing she'd ever witnessed.

His arm stayed around her shoulders through the rest of the movie. When Mulan was cast out, she got a little emotional as she always did, even after over six hundred views, and she felt his arm tighten around her, hesitating a tiny bit before letting her head lean against him. All she could smell now was him, the gentle but memorable sandalwood and amber scent that she remembered well from the day before.

"Gotta pee," Kevin announced a little bit later, clambering down and running to the bathroom. Max took the remote to pause the movie.

Y/n began to pull away, lifting her head when he squeezed her arm.

"You're fine," he whispered.

His face was so close. Seeing a tiny piece of popcorn on his chin, she reached up to brush it away, freezing at the sound of his sharp inhale. "Sorry, you got a little…"

When the hell had his eyes become so blue? Just a day ago they'd been a normal blue. Now they reminded her of the antique blue willow china her great grandmother had treasured. Her gaze slipped to his mouth and quickly moved back to his eyes and she heard him inhale again.

"Max?"

"Y/n, I…" His eyes flicked down and she unconsciously licked her lips.

She knew she shouldn't but she suddenly, desperately, wanted to know what it was like to kiss him. She hadn't thought about kissing anyone in what felt like a lifetime, but now she needed it. Lifting her chin slightly, she dropped her hand to his chest. "Max—"

"Y/n, you… I—"

"Okay!"

She snatched herself away from Max as though she'd been burned, going so far as to jump to her feet while Kevin rushed back to the sofa. "Go ahead and hit play, I'll be back in just a minute," she promised, nearly tripping over nothing in her haste to get as far away from Max as possible. "Hit play, it's fine, I've seen it a million times."

Once in the bathroom she closed the door and leaned against it, covering her face with both hands. What the hell was wrong with her? Just because she hadn't been kissed since— She dropped her hands, wrinkling her nose in thought. Kevin was three years and two months, and… At any rate, it had been so long she'd assumed she was never going to be kissed again. She hadn't even thought about it in ages, because she'd been so focused on work and raising her son and trying to survive. Now, all of a sudden, she was craving one so bad she'd practically begged him.

He'd been about to tell her he couldn't. She was sure of that. Which only made it even more embarrassing. How could he even want to? She'd seen the girlfriends of other drivers on the grid, there was no way he'd be even remotely interested in her. She wasn't a model or tennis star or whatever their occupations were.

Not to mention she couldn't. It would be wrong on so many levels. What kind of impression would her behavior leave on her son? Not to mention the troubles it would cause at work? And it was in her contract that any sort of fraternization with other members of the team were forbidden. She'd known that but she had read the full contract on the flight to Italy. If she and Max did anything it would eventually come out and she'd be jobless again, this time in a foreign country.

Checking her phone when she felt it buzz in her pocket, she sighed while reading Logan's text.

We're still on right?

She wanted to say no. The best thing for her to do would be to suffer through the rest of the movie, say goodbye to Max, have an early dinner, put Kevin to bed, then take the world's coldest shower. But she was already typing out her reply.

Of course! Looking forward to it.

And she was, she thought, seeing the delivered change to read then the three little dots that he was typing a message. Logan was fun. Nice. Completely uninterested in her romantically, she thought with a sigh.

Great. Be there at 8 to pick you up. Give Kev a high 5 for me?

Will do.

Pushing away from the door, she turned on the water to wash her hands and jumped slightly when there was a gentle knock.

"Y/n?"

"I'm almost done," she called.

She heard his sigh. "Can I come in?"

No. "Yeah, sure."

He opened the door and stepped in, and she swallowed when he closed the door behind him. "I…"

"Max, don't," she groaned, washing her hands and grabbing the towel. "You don't have to tell me you wouldn't have… Even if I wanted you to. I know."

"Wouldn't have what?" he asked.

God, could the moment get any more embarrassing? "I – You – Jesus, never mind."

"Kiss you?" he murmured.

Why did the way he said it sound like so much more than a kiss? "It's fine. Go back and finish the movie."

"Y/n, I can't."

"You have to leave?" she asked.

"What – no, not the movie," he said. Cupping a hand over his mouth, he breathed deeply and dropped his hand after a few seconds, looking pained. "I can't kiss you."

"Oh." Oh. "Do you have a girlfriend or—"

"If I had a girlfriend I wouldn't be in this tiny toilet with you."

And she believed him. He didn't seem the type to put himself in a situation that could be misinterpreted if he had a partner. "Right. Of course. Then…"

"It's…" He sighed.

"Are you gay? Because I won't tell any—"

"I'm not gay," he cut in gently. "It's… I'm not allowed to kiss you."

She blinked, suddenly understanding. And she wondered if he'd read the contract, too. "Right. Neither am I."

"Christian talked to you too?"

"No? Why would he?"

"He told me you're off limits." Max shook his head. "Said I look at you or something."

"Oh." He did? And just how did Max look at her? "I see."

"And it's in our contracts. Yours and mine, I mean. So… I can't."

She nodded. "Of course. Understood. No more explanation necessary, Max."

"I wouldn't want you to lose your job," he said softly.

She continued to nod. "Got it. Thanks."

He tipped his head, then reached to take the towel from her and she realized she was still drying her hands. "I'll still be Kevin's friend."

Still nodding, she picked up her hand cream and squeezed a dollop into her palm. "Thanks. He likes you."

"I like him too." He hesitated, watching her carefully. "You okay?"

"Peachy keen," she promised, rubbing the cream into her hands. "Just getting ready for my dinner."

His lips settled into a fine line. "Your date."

The way he said it irritated her. As though she was in the wrong for making plans with a new friend. "It's not a date, but yes."

"I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time," he said with absolutely no emotion.

"Well, he's not contractually obligated to be nice to me, so… I know I will," she said, forcing as much sweetness into her voice as possible.

"I'm not nice because of a contract," he snapped.

"Right, sorry, my mistake. He won't not kiss me because of a piece of paper," she corrected.

Max's eyes flashed, a muscle in his jaw twitching. "I thought it wasn't a date?" he asked carefully.

Good, at least he had some emotion. "Oh, so I'm only allowed to kiss him if we're on a date?"

"I didn't say—" He cut off, pressing his lips tight together and exhaling slowly. "You said it wasn't a date."

"Why do you care either way?"

"Is it a date or not?" he ground out.

"It's not." She took her hair down from the ponytail as he sighed with something like relief. "But it could be in the future."

"What, so you'll kiss him because I won't kiss you?"

"If I kiss him, it'll be because both of us want it," she said. She knew she was being silly, maybe even a little stupid. But he was acting as though he were doing her a favor. As though he were somehow honorable, a gentleman even, because he refused to do what she now knew they both wanted.

"Y/n, I can't—"

"A word I'm sure you're not used to saying about yourself," she muttered under her breath.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, an edge in his voice.

"I didn't know that 'can't' was in your vocabulary is all." Looking at her phone to check the time, she cleared her throat. "Now, if you don't mind, I have to change."

He hesitated while she opened her makeup bag. "Do you want to kiss him?"

"Why do you care?"

He visibly bristled. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"Does he have a reputation for hurting women?" She picked up her hairbrush, and had brushed out her hair completely before he finally answered.

"No." It sounded like it hurt him to say it. "He's nice."

"Then you don't have to worry."

"Where are you going?"

"Oh, no." She laughed humorlessly. "You don't get to ask that. Now please, I have to change."

He stared at her, looking annoyed and irritated, his jaw still twitching. Then, with a huff, he turned to open the door. And froze when he saw the dress hanging from the hook. "Is… That's what you're wearing?"

"Oh my god, Max, you're starting to sound like a jealous boyfriend."

"I'm not jealous," he snorted.

"And you're not my boyfriend," she snapped.

She waited for him to turn around and restart their argument. Altercation. Whatever it was. Instead, he muttered something under his breath and snatched the door open. Went out, closing it. And sounded perfectly normal when he apologized to Kevin and resumed the movie.

Y/n was still annoyed even after changing and doing her makeup. She fussed over her hair, unsure whether she wanted to wear it up or down, finally leaving it down. She was fully aware that she was putting more work into her appearance than she would have if Max hadn't said what he had, and still knew she was being silly and stupid. Hadn't she just told herself nothing could happen between them?

Yes, but maybe if he hadn't acted as though he were doing an immense favor she wouldn't be so upset. I wouldn't want you to lose your job. Indicating that if he kissed her and they were found out, his job was secure.

"Sanctimonious prick," she muttered while she spritzed perfume on her wrists and rubbed them together. As she exited the bathroom the outer door of the room opened and Ellie came in, her jaw dropping when she saw her.

"Holy shit babes, you look amazing!"

She smiled, doing a turn for her friend. "You think so?"

"His jaw is gonna be on the floor the whole time. Holy shit, milf alert." Ellie whistled softly, waving her hand as though overcome with heat.

Y/n giggled. "Thanks."

The movie was ending and Kevin oohed and aahed over her dress, telling her over and over how pretty she was. Max stared at her, his jaw set, but said nothing, looking away and starting to clear up the remains of the snacks.

"Isn't she pretty, grote maat?" Kevin asked.

And even though her back was to him, she felt his gaze. Glancing over her shoulder at him while she fastened her necklace, she watched his shoulders rise and fall with a sigh. "Very pretty, kleine maat."

"You're supposed to tell her," Kevin whispered. "Always tell a lady she's beautiful. Right, aunt Ellie?"

"That's right, buddy," Ellie said proudly. She gave y/n an odd look, silently asking what had happened, narrowing her eyes when y/n merely shrugged.

"Because women are pretty all the time," Kevin went on and y/n smiled. At least she was doing something right…

After fastening her earrings she turned from the dresser, breath catching in her throat when she found Max staring at her. Vaguely aware of Ellie telling Kevin to wash his hands so they could eat the dinner she'd brought, she squatted, getting her heels from her suitcase, along with her shawl.

"Je bent mooi," Max said.

She met his gaze as she rose to her feet. "What's that mean?"

"You're beautiful," he whispered.

"Thank you." And though she knew it was catty, she couldn't help the words that slipped out of her mouth. "Do you think Logan will like it?"

His jaw twitched. "He'd be stupid not to."

"That doesn't answer my question," she practically cooed, slipping on her heels.

He made a sound of disgust in his throat. "He's annoying and dumb sometimes, but he's not stupid. So, yes, I think he'll like it."

"Look at you, hyping me up." She wasn't stupid either, she could hear and feel the jealousy. Good, she thought, getting her small handbag and transferring her few necessities to it.

"Is he picking you up?" Max asked. "Or are you meeting him somewhere?"

"Are you gonna stick around and question his intentions?" she scoffed. "Because if so, I'm meeting him."

"I just—"

"Do you want some pasta, Mister Max?" Kevin asked as he came out of the bathroom with Ellie.

"Ah, maybe next time," Max said after clearing his throat. "You eat some for me, hm?"

She wanted to be mad that he was so good with her son. Proclaim they could only ever be coworkers, then turn around and continue to be her son's favorite person. It wasn't fair. But she didn't want him to be mean to Kevin. So she smiled, fixing her shawl while Max told Kevin he would see him at quali tomorrow, wishing she could stay mad at him but that was impossible, especially when he lifted her son up and gave him a tight hug, telling him he'd enjoyed the movie.

"Can we watch another one day?" Kevin asked hopefully and y/n drew in a breath, prepared to say they couldn't ask Max that, he was too busy.

"Of course we can. You pick the movie and we'll watch it next week?"

He gave Kevin another hug then gently encouraged him to eat his dinner, smiling and saying goodnight to Ellie. Then he turned to her, and she felt an unexpected heat ripple through her as his eyes slowly looked her up and down.

"Thanks for coming," she murmured, walking him to the door.

"I enjoyed it." He rubbed the back of his neck. "For the most part."

"Kevin had a great time."

"Yes. And that's all that matters."

Ouch. "Goodnight, Max."

"Enjoy your dinner with Logan."

"I will."

He rocked back on his heels, exhaling harshly. "I'm…" He cleared his throat. "Goodnight, y/n."

She closed the door and bit back a whine. Stupid, stupid, stupid—

"Talk tonight when you get back?" Ellie asked gently, watching her while she fixed Kevin's plate.

"It's nothing," she insisted, double checking that she had everything in her handbag. Phone, ID and passport, room key, lipstick, mirror. "Just being stupid."

"You're not stupid, mama," Kevin said anxiously.

"I know, thank you. Sorry. Just feeling stupid."

"But you look so pretty," he told her.

She smiled, sighing as she crossed the room to kiss his cheek. "You're the best son in the world, you know that?"

He giggled, rubbing the lipstick from his cheek. "And you're the best mama."

"Only because you're the best son," she insisted.

"Do you like Mister Logan?" he asked suddenly, scrunching his face when she fastened the bib around his neck.

"He's nice. But he's just a friend."

"But." Kevin's lips poked out in thought. "He's taking you on a date."

"Dinner. You know how you miss Cotton?" She took a napkin and cleaned the smudge of lipstick from his cheek when he nodded. "He misses America sometimes. It's kind of like when you pet the cats on your walks."

"Ohh…" Kevin nodded with all the understanding a three year old could muster. "So he's gonna pet you?"

She blinked, instinctively reaching to swat Ellie's arm when her friend choked back a giggle. "Not exactly," she groaned. "We're just gonna talk."

Ellie was still giggling ten minutes later when Logan knocked on the door. "Sorry, sorry," she gasped when y/n shot her a glare. "I'll behave."

"That'll be the day," y/n muttered under her breath as she went to open the door. "Hey," she greeted warmly, smiling up at him.

He was dressed in slacks, a button down, and a jacket. His smile faded a little as he stared at her, and she saw his throat move as he swallowed. "Whoa. You look great."

"Thanks. You do too."

She let him in so Kevin could say hi, ducking into the bathroom to fix her lipstick and remind herself that it was just dinner. Logan was just a friend, or at least would hopefully be a friend. Saying goodnight to her son, she felt her shawl slipping, ignoring Ellie's knowing look when Logan immediately reached to catch it, his hands gentle as he draped it over her shoulders. Just dinner. Just dinner with just a friend.

But when they walked down the street to the restaurant, which was just around the corner, and his hand brushed hers she told herself it was alright. And when he slipped his hand protectively over hers she didn't pull away. In the restaurant when Lando and a few others called out to him she hung back, blushing when Logan gently tugged her along to greet his friends.

"Didn't know you had a date tonight, mate," Oscar commented, nodding to her in greeting.

She could have corrected him. Could have announced to everyone that it wasn't a date. But Logan's bashful chuckle warmed her and she smiled. "We American's have to stick together," she said, enjoying Logan's laugh.

"You know, England is an ally," Lando said with a smirk.

"Still haven't forgiven you for taxation without representation," she sighed.

"That wasn't me," Lando defended while the others laughed.

"Your ancestors though," Oscar told him.

"They were doing what they thought was right? How am I at fault now?"

"You opened your mouth," Carlos said with a laugh.

"C'mon, babe, our table's ready," Logan murmured, hand slipping to the small of her back.

"Enjoy your date!" Oscar called after them.

"I hope you trip over your independence!" Lando yelped when Oscar elbowed him.

Laughing, y/n let Logan guide her to the other side of the dining room, where they were thankfully shielded from the table of drivers. He held the chair for her and she thanked him while the waiter handed them the menus.

"I'm sorry about that. Oscar and Lando… I should have told them it wasn't a date," Logan said once they were alone.

"It's fine," she assured him. "I mean, technically, it is a date."

"I guess so. I just don't want you thinking I'm making it out to more than it is."

"What is it?" she asked.

"Two friends, hopefully. Spending time together." He looked up from his menu. "Probably should have taken you somewhere more casual, huh? This place makes it look like I'm trying to impress you."

She hadn't thought of it like that. "…Are you trying to impress me?"

"Do you want me to?"

Their eyes met and she slowly inhaled, thinking over what the best answer would be.

So you'll kiss him because I won't kiss you?

Do you want to kiss him?

She exhaled, sending thoughts of Max as far away as possible. "I think I do."

He looked relieved and oh, so handsome in this light. "Then I might be trying to impress you a little."

"You're doing amazing so far."

taglist

@spookystitchery | @halleest | @lyannesworld | @llando4norris | @kravitzwhore | @younxii | @silentreader128 | @samantha-chicago | @mrsbrxkkxr | @cmleitora |

[thewritingrowlet]

The Beauty and The Brawn, ft. Billlie Sheon

tags: creampie, throat fuck, cum-in-mouth, (almost) friends-to-lovers

tw: bullying, depiction of violence

word count: 8k+

author's note: This is the first fic out of 2 (or 3) before I start writing abt tripleS again. This fic shares the same "universe" (kek) as The Outing Trip, btw. (edit) I forgot to mention that Sheon is referred to as Suyeon in this fic

“Hyung”, Chanwoo, the deputy governor in the student council of the Faculty of Economics and Business, calls out to you as he enters the room, “I heard whispers in the wind about someone getting bullied at the campus”. “You did?”, you say as you look up from your phone. “Yeah, apparently it has been going on for a while too”, he continues, “I only heard about the rumor a few hours ago, sorry”. You shake your head and tell him there’s nothing to be sorry for, “it’s not like you’re the bully—wait, you’re not the bully, are you?”. Chanwoo is seemingly offended by your words, “What the fuck? We both know you’d beat me down to a pulp if I bullied anyone”. You nod in agreement; you’re known for beating up bullies and the evil sort and getting in trouble for it, which then begs the question: who dares be a bully when there’s a someone with a reputation like yours running around? “I’ll look into it. Thank you for the heads up”, you say to him as you leave for class.

-

You made it to class with 10 minutes to spare, so now you’re on your tablet to review last week’s lesson. You’re deep into it when you see a handful of girls and guys enter the classroom in the corner of your eyes. “Hey, what do we do about Suyeon-ie? She hasn’t started working on our assignments yet”, one of the girls say. “This bitch, man, I swear to God”, a guy says, “how can someone be so smart and idiotic at the same time? We’ll talk to her again after this”. Your concentration breaks after hearing those words. “Bitch, huh? Idiotic, too? Some interesting choice of words there, bud”, you think to yourself. You take a good look at them and burn their faces into your memory for future reference before turning your attention back to your tablet.

“Good afternoon, everybody”, Professor Bae says as she enters the packed classroom, “beautiful day today, right?”. She then sets her bag on the desk and connects her laptop to the projector. “Okay, before we start today’s class, does anyone have any questions about the previous one?”, she says as she looks around the room before pointing to someone who has their hand up, “oh, you”. The girl looks hesitant and nervous to ask her question, and you wonder if she’s intimidated by Professor Bae (which makes sense; she looks intimidating sometimes). “Thank you for the question, miss”, the professor says before starting the train of explanation. As you’re listening to her, you hear whispers from the bunch behind you and catch someone say “bitch” again but can’t make out the rest of the sentence, and it bothers your focus once again. “I need to get to the bottom of this soon”, you say in your head.

-

“That is all for today, everyone. Thank you for coming and see you next week for the quiz”, Professor Bae wraps up the class. You see one student after another start leaving the classroom, but you stay in your seat and wait until everyone clears out. “Excuse me, professor”, you come up to her, “may I ask you a question?”. “Sure, how can I help you?”, the professor says. “Have you heard rumors about someone getting bullied on campus, madam?”, you ask. She exhales deeply, “I can see in your eyes that you want to throw punches already”. “Madam, please”, you push her, making her take a deep breath. “Fine; short answer is yes, I have—I know the victim, in fact”, she says.

You’re perplexed, “you do, madam?”. She replies to you with a nod, “remember the girl who raised her hand at the start of the class? That’s the victim, a freshman named Kim Suyeon”. “So that was Suyeon, huh?”, you think to yourself, “what about the perpetrators, professor?”. Professor Bae shakes her head, “I’ve asked before, but she wouldn’t tell me, son”. “Respectfully, madam, I think she needs more closure and assurance that she’ll be safe before she feels comfortable enough to speak up”, you say to her. The professor nods and sighs, “I agree, and I guess I can’t offer her that”.

You say your thanks and bow to her before leaving, and that’s when she calls out to you again; “governor”, she says, “I do not condone violence on campus”. You blink your eyes in confusion, “pardon?”. “I repeat, I do not condone violence on campus grounds”, Professor Bae says with a wink and a smile at the end. The way she winks and emphasizes the last three words gives you some idea; “I will keep that in mind, professor. Have a good day, madam”, you say with a bow before you leave the classroom. “You have a good heart, Shin Jungwoo. I just wish you wouldn’t resort to violence like it was the only thing you knew, but you do you, son—I got your back”, Professor Bae says when she sees you leave.

You find Chanwoo’s contact on your phone and text him to ask if he’s in class, and he immediately calls you. “Hyung, what’s up? Found anything yet?”, he asks. “Kind of, and now I need your help. Find out what you can about a freshman named Kim Suyeon”, you say to him. “Kim Suyeon, huh? Alright, I’ll get back to you soon”, Chanwoo says, “what’s your plan when we find out who the bullies are?”. “We’ll try talking to them first before letting the fists fly”, you say, calm but resolute, “talk to you soon, Chanwoo-yah. Thanks for your help”. Chanwoo is one of the few people who doesn’t approve of violence but doesn’t shy away from it should it be needed—he’s helped you fight someone before, actually.

-

It’s been a few days since you found out the name of the victim and sent Chanwoo on a recon mission. You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket as you’re walking to the cafeteria, so you pull it out and see that there’s an email from Professor Bae: “My office—now”, it says. You turn around and run in the other direction towards Professor Bae’s office as fast as you can, putting your cardio training to good use.

You press the bell to her room while panting like you were chased by an angry German Shepherd. The door buzzes as it unlocks, and you enter right away. “Good—hah—good afternoon, madam”, you say with heavy pants. The professor looks at you with a gentle smile, “good afternoon to you as well, governor”. You compose yourself and see that someone else is in the room, so Professor Bae introduces you to this person. “Governor, this is Kim Suyeon. Suyeon-ah, this is the governor of the Faculty of Economics and Business, Shin Jungwoo”, she says. “Kim Suyeon? That Kim Suyeon?”, you think to yourself, and that is when you see Suyeon turn to you. “Good afternoon, sunbaenim. We’ve met before, haven’t we? Nice to meet you again”, she says with a smile and red eyes; “she must’ve just finished crying”, you think.

“I’ve managed to convince her to open up to me”, Professor Bae informs, “you said she needed more closure and assurance, right? Well, I’m doing that right now”. You bend forward with your hands on your knees, “and-and—fuck, I’m tired—and how are you doing that, if I may ask?”. “I’m putting her under your watch, and I know you’ll never let harm come her way when she’s with you”, she pats you on the back, “what’s wrong with you? I thought you exercise often”. “It was the adrenaline, madam”, you say, “your short email made me nervous so I ran as fast as I could—I’m sorry for the profanity, by the way”. Professor Bae laughs, “it’s whatever, son. Now, get out of my office and start getting to know each other better, ‘kay?”.

You show her a soft smile and reach your hand out, “may I, miss?”. She timidly holds your hand and stands up, “yes, sunbaenim”. You lead her out of the office and towards the cafeteria. “Can I call you by your name?”, you ask her on the way. “Sure”, she says, “my name is Kim Suyeon”. You giggle softly, “nice to meet you, Suyeon-ah. My name is Shin Jungwoo—I’m sure the professor has told you about me”. As you keep walking, you feel a tug on your arm. “Sun-sunbaenim”, she says nervously, “can I call you by anything other than that?”. “Yeah, of course; call me oppa, okay? I’m 99% sure I’m older than you”, you say, attempting to make a friendly joke. A simple “okay” said in a seemingly low-spirited tone is her answer, and you make it your goal to make her feel better by the end of the day.

You buy a large bowl of tteokbokki and fried chicken to share with Suyeon along with a couple of soft drinks. You hand her some chopsticks and encourage her to eat first. “I-I’m not too hungry, oppa”, she says—timing can’t be more perfect, as you hear a faint growl from her stomach as soon as she says that. You pick up a piece of chicken and guide it to her lips with a smile, “please, have a bite; do it for me”. She slowly parts her lips and puts the piece of chicken into her mouth. She looks down at the table as she chews, and you suddenly see a tear escape her eyes. Your eyes widen in shock, and you move to sit next to her before pulling her to lean against your shoulder. “Woah, woah, are you okay?”, you ask in panic. “You-you’re so kind, a-and I’m not sure if I deserve it”, she sniffles, “pe-people have been really cruel to me and-and I’m starting to think maybe I deserve it, oppa”.

You’ve taken punches in the face before, but her words hurt way, way more than even the worst punch. “My fucking God, bullying really disrupts the victim’s psyche, huh?”, you think to yourself―you’ve never really interacted with the victims and never had the chance to see it from their perspective, as you’re usually busy throwing punches with the bullies instead. The way she cries when shown such simple gesture of kindness makes it clear for you that she has longed for it for an extended period, and it strengthens your heart’s resolve to continue your fight against bullying, both physically and mentally.

“Sweetheart, sweetheart”, you whisper softly, “it’s okay; no one can hurt you when I’m here”. Fate is doing its best to surprise you today, as you see the group of people who referred to Suyeon as a “bitch” walking in front of you. You glare at each of them, and they stop in their tracks when they see you and Suyeon being so close to each other. “Oppa, please, I’m scared”, Suyeon wails and hugs your arm tightly in tears. “Wait here, okay, sweetie?”, you whisper to her before leaving the table to confront them. It takes everything in you to not just whack these brats right here, right now; “tell me your names and classes”, you say, your voice laced with anger. The boys tell you their names—Lee Taewon and Kim Dojoon, both freshmen—while the girls are too scared to say anything. “Do you know who I am?”, you ask again. “I don’t give a fuck who you are; you’re just some chump who likes acting tough in front of his bimbo”, Taewon says. “Oi”, one of the girls says almost like a whisper, “that’s the governor, Shin Jungwoo”. “I don’t fucking care”, Taewon continues, “I’ll fuck him up just the same”. “Is that right?”, you say, “meet me in the alley behind Super Sandwich in 30 minutes—don’t run”.

You turn around to sit at the table again, and that’s when you hear Suyeon scream from the top of her lungs—one of them must be trying to take a cheap shot. You turn around just in time to react and strike back, making Taewon tumble from it. “You fucking bitch, save it for later”, you say. Dojoon is just standing there in silence; “come get your boy and get the fuck out of my sight”, you say to him. Dojoon rushes to Taewon and drags him away, so you head back to your table again to tend to Suyeon. She now looks afraid of you, as she tries to put some distance between you and herself.

“Hey, hey, I’m not gonna hurt you, sweetie”, you say in a calm voice with your palms open as a sign of non-aggression. “I-I’ve heard that you beat people up often”, she says. “Only the bad ones, sweetie—like those bullies”, you tell her. While she knows that you don’t shy away from violence, she doesn’t know that you can toggle your anger on and off like a lamp, and the cluelessness scares her shitless. You decide to text Chanwoo and tell him their names and your “appointment” while you wait until Suyeon calms down; “you want me to come with you?”, he replies. “No, I need you to wait for me in the council’s space and notify Professor Bae about this”, you tell him.

You put the lid over the bowl and ask Suyeon to follow you to the council’s space. When you arrive, you see that Chanwoo is already there waiting for you to come. “Hyung, can you, like, tell me a summary or something?”, he says. You nod, “Son Chanwoo, this is Kim Suyeon. Suyeon-ah, this is Chanwoo; he’s the deputy governor in the council—that’s enough of a summary, I think”. “So, this is her, huh?”, Chanwoo grabs an empty chair and sets it next to him, “please have a seat, Suyeon-ah—I won’t hurt you, I promise”. Suyeon hesitantly approaches him and takes a seat, “n-nice to meet you, sunbaenim”. You take a knee in front of Suyeon and open the bowl again, “Sweetheart, I have a favor to ask: I want you to eat as much as you can while I take care of those rascals. Can you do that, please?”. “Yes, oppa; I will eat as much as I can while you take care of those rascals”, she says with a smile, and you see in her eyes the hopefulness for all these bad things to end. “Keep her safe for me, man. I’ll see you guys in a bit”, you give Chanwoo a fist bump before leaving the room and head to the appointment spot.

-

It's empty when you arrive there, so you decide to wait it out and see if this guy is really about that or not. You’ve been waiting for 20 minutes when Taewon finally arrives, all by his lonesome. “Where are your friends?”, you ask him. “I don’t need them”, he shrugs, “I’ll take you myself”. You know that Taewon wants the smoke, but you can’t find it in you the same fury you’ve used to fuel the fire in your heart—you’d rather feed Suyeon some tteokbokki right now than fight this guy. “Man, I just want to be with Suyeon-ie­ right now”, you think to yourself. You see Taewon standing still like a dummy, so you taunt him, hoping that getting him riled up will get you riled up as well. “I don’t have all day, you bastard; are we doing this or nah?”, you say to him.

He rushes to you huffing and puffing and hits you right in the cheek. You shrug it off and mock him more, “all that shit talk earlier only for you to hit me like that? You’re wasting my time, you little shit”. He releases a flurry of punches, hitting you on different spots like your cheek, your stomach, and your chest, and it’s starting to hurt now. “There you go, my boy—my turn now”, you say before your right fist lands right on his chin, knocking the wind out of his body and forcing him to tumble backwards. “Focus up, my turn isn’t over yet”, you say as you ready your left to strike. The cheeky bastard thinks it is his turn again, as he tries to surprise you with a punch out of nowhere. Adrenaline has come to your aid and brings rage with it, and you use it right away to dodge and storm him with punches of your own, making him fall flat on the pavement. You press your foot on Taewon’s neck and tell him your demand; “leave Suyeon-ie alone—is that clear?”, you say to him sternly but calmly.

You don’t care if he has anything else to say and just walk away, and you’re met with Dojoon who apparently has been hiding around the corner this whole time. “Oh, there you are”, you say to him, “you want some too or what?”. Dojoon looks at you in fear before running away. “You’re not gonna help your boy?”, you yell at him but get no response, “guess I will then”. You rush to Super Sandwich and buy a bottle of water for Taewon and bring it to him.

“Hello again, brat”, you pull him up to his feet and lean him against the wall, “here, have some water”. You open the bottle for Taewon and hand it to him, and he finishes it within seconds; “thirsty much?”, you say to him. “I’m-I’m sorry”, he says in tears, “I never meant to hurt her like that”. You roll your eyes, “my fucking God, stop it with the crocodile tears”. “You don’t understand, man. I never hated Suyeon-ie”, he wails, "I-I liked her as a friend, and I thought about shooting my shot—I never meant it to end up like this”. You’re perplexed by his little confession, “you called her a bimbo and talked shit to me in front of her, you asshole, and now you want to say that you’ve liked her all along? You missed me with that bullshit”. Taewon grabs your wrist as you walk away, “promise me that you’ll take care of her, hyung”. Your head might be flooded with anger, but you can hear the sincerity in his voice when he said that last sentence, so you give him a nod and leave to check on Suyeon.

-

You knock on the door of the council’s space and Chanwoo opens it for you. “Welcome back, hyung”, he says as he hugs you, “so, how was it?”. You pull away from the hug and pat him on the back, “it was fine; he understood his mistake and is regretful”. You take a knee in front of Suyeon again and take her hands in yours. “Hi, sweetie. How are we feeling?”, you ask her. “W-what is that on your face, oppa?”, she says, as fear clouds her mind. You smile and tell her that it’s nothing, but she doesn’t think so; “I-I don’t want people to get hurt because of me”, she says, tears bursting out of her eyes, “just-just let me get hurt because of me—they’re after me anyway”. You take off her glasses and lifts her chin, “no one deserves to get hurt like you have, sweetheart, and they’ve agreed to stay away from you and not hurt you again”. She jumps off her chair and hugs you. “I’m-I’m sorry, oppa. I should’ve stood up for myself”, she says, “you wouldn’t have got hurt if I had”. You peck the top of her head, “I’m not hurt, Suyeon­-ah, trust me. I’m fine and so is Chanwoo—we’re here for you, sweetie”.

Suyeon pulls away from the hug and wipes her tears. “Can I invite you two to come over for dinner?”, she asks. “I’m sorry, but I already have plans with my girlfriend—thanks for the invite, Suyeon-ah”, Chanwoo declines, “I’m sure Jungwoo-hyung is down for dinner, though”. You chuckle, “yes, I’m down for dinner”. “Great!”, Suyeon exclaims, “we need to go now, oppa!”.

-

Suyeon enters the passcode of her apartment and lets you in. Your heart sinks to the bottom of the trench when you see the scattered clothes and dirty dishes all over the place. “I’m sorry”, she says timidly, “I haven’t had time to clean up. I’ve been busy doing everyone’s assignments, you see”. You feel tears flowing down your cheeks as you assess the situation further. “My God, they’ve been ruthless, haven’t they?”, you say weakly as you wipe your tears. “It’s okay, oppa. I’m used to it right now”, she utters, and her words hurt you even more. You hug her tightly, “it’s over, Suyeon-ah. You won’t have to do this ever again, I promise. I’ll help you sort these things out, okay?”.

You let her go and sit down in front of the pile of clothes on her couch. You take a T-shirt from the pile and fold it neatly before taking another and doing the same. “Suyeon-ah, there’s a shirt here, do you have a hanger?”, you say to her, and instead of hearing a reply, you hear a sob instead. You look in her direction and see that she’s crying again; “what do you want from me, oppa? What’s your motive? What’s behind your nice guy façade, huh? You’re gonna make me do your assignments too, aren’t you? Answer me, oppa—tell me I’m wrong”. “I’m sorry but you are wrong”, you stand up and approach her, “I’m not going to make you do my assignments or whatever. I just want to help—would you let me help?”. She nods in agreement, so you ask her one more time if she has hangers, “ye-yes, I have a few. I’ll get it for you”.

You sit back down and put the shirt to the side for later so you can fold other stuff. “Here’s some hangers, oppa”, Suyeon says as she walks over to you. You look at her, “thank— “; your words are cut off by a peck on the lips from Suyeon, and the both of you blush at the same time. “Thank you, sweetheart”, you say, “the-the hangers, please”. She covers her face after handing them to you, and you focus back on the pile in front of you, which is gradually getting smaller. “Hey, underwear—oh, sorry”, you say as you see some bras and panties laying in front of you. You fold the bras in half and hand them to Suyeon along with some hung shirts, and she can’t look you in the eyes now.

“Time to do these dishes now”, you say as you leave the now clear couch. Suyeon tries to push you away from the sink with a grunt, but her small arms don’t have enough strength to move you. “Have a seat, please. I’ll take care of this”, you say to her, and she replies with a simple “okay” and take a seat at the dining table. “Oppa”, she calls out, “why did you call me ‘sweetheart’ earlier?”. “I just wanted to be clear that I wasn’t going to harm you in any shape or form. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable”, you say as you try to clean off a persistent stain on a plate. “It’s okay, oppa. You can call me anything you want—just don’t say anything mean, please. It hurts, you know, especially if you were to say it”, she says. “I know, sweetheart—I know”, you look at her with a smile.

-

Now that all the dishes have been cleaned and the pile cleared from the couch, you lie on it so that you can catch your breath. “That was tiring”, you comment, “I hope I did it well”. Suyeon walks to the drying rack to inspect your work, “they’re spotless, oppa. I’ve never washed them this well before”. “Great to hear, but I’m hungry now”, you say as you show her a thumbs-up. “Oh, um, I only have instant stuff, oppa”, she shyly admits, “I’m sorry, I know I invited you over for dinner, but I don’t have much right now”. “I’m sure instant stuff will still taste good if you’re the one making it”, you try to lift her spirits, “I’ll take you on a dinner date one day if that’s okay”. You take a peek at the cupboard she’s opening and see that she only has 2 packs of instant noodles left; “she doesn’t even have time to stock up on food—those bastards, I swear to God”, you say in your head.

She takes those two packs and looks at them sadly. “Are you okay, sweetie?”, you ask. “The-these are my last ones, oppa”, she says with a sorrowful voice, “I won’t have food if we use this”. You close your eyes in pain before offering her an idea, “you know what? Let’s eat outside and get groceries after—I’ll pay, don’t worry”. “You’re spoiling me, oppa”, she says, “first it was the mess and now this”. You shake your head, “it’s fine, sweetie. I’m glad I get to do these things for you”. You then take her hand and leave the apartment so that you can get dinner somewhere.

You take Suyeon to a burger shop near the campus which you heard is owned by the parents of a freshman. You head straight to the register to order; “good evening, can I have a double cheeseburger and fries, please?”. “Yes, you can. Anything else?”, the lady says, so you turn to Suyeon and ask her what she’d like to have, and she timidly replies that she wants the same thing you’re having. “Alright, please have a seat. Food is coming out in 10 minutes”, the lady says again.

You turn around to find an empty table, and that’s when you see another governor from the university. “Kim Yooyeon!”, you excitedly exclaim as you walk up to her with Suyeon behind you. You give her a high five and ask her if she’s alone. “Yeah, I am. My friends are on Jung Jisung’s trip”, she says before shoving a piece of fry into her mouth. You feel a tug on your shirt, and you’re promptly reminded that you’re not alone. “Ah, almost forgot—Yooyeon-ah, this is Kim Suyeon; she’s one of ours. Suyeon-ah, this is Yooyeon from the Faculty of Science—she’s a governor just like me, by the way”, you introduce them to each other. They both exchange greetings and you decide to sit at the table next to Yooyeon’s.

“Oppa, I’m going to the toilet”, Suyeon says, and you nod in response. You and Yooyeon keep your eyes on her until she disappears around the corner. “What’s her story?”, Yooyeon asks, “how did you find her?”. You sigh, “she was bullied, Yooyeon-ah, and I might or might not have punched her bully”. Yooyeon rubs her forehead in stress, “you really need to stop beating people up—we can’t keep defending you, you know”. You shake your head, “Respectfully, Governor, you have no idea what being a victim of bullying has made of her”. “May I ask?”, she prods. You list the things you saw earlier today: the messy pile of clothes on the couch, dirty dishes from God-knows-when, and the empty pantry. “She was so busy doing other people’s shit that she didn’t even have a second to think about herself—I’m taking her to get groceries after this, by the way”, you end your explanation. Yooyeon nods, and you’d like to think that she understands the severity of the situation.

Suyeon returns just in time, as the food is brought to you as she’s about to sit down. “Alright, I’m going to leave now. Good evening, guys. See you soon”, Yooyeon says. You give her a fist bump, “see you soon, Yooyeon-ah. Tell Jisung-ie I said—oh, speak of the devil”. Jisung is calling you; “I gotta take this, sweetie”, you say to Suyeon and head outside.

“Good evening, this is Shin Jungwoo”, you say. ”Good evening to you as well, this is Jung Jisung”, Jisung says over the phone, “where are you, man?”. “I’m at a burger shop with someone—Yooyeon-ie just left, by the way”, you tell him, “can I help you, president?”. “You know I hate it when you call me that, right? Anyway, what’s this rumor I heard about bullying?”, he asks. “Yeah, a group of freshmen had bullied a fellow freshman and forced her to do their assignments, even going as far as referring to her with derogatory terms, and the victim has been having it rough because of it—the victim is with me right now, in fact”, you give him a summary. “The rumor also told me that you’ve fought the bully as well”, you hear Jisung sigh over the phone, “we can’t keep defending you, man. Promise me this is the last time”. “I’ll ask Yooyeon-ie to tell you what I’ve— “, you’re cut off by a girl’s voice from Jisung’s side of the call. “Oppa! Oppa, are you okay? Are you hurt? You need to stop fighting people, seriously”, the girl says. “Sorry, who is this?”, you ask. “This is Nakyoung-ie, oppa. Xinyu-unnie is also here with us, by the way”. “Oh, hi, you two—you know what? We’ll talk about this again when you guys get back, I’ll bring Suyeon-ie as well”, you tell them. “Suyeon-ie? Is that the victim’s name?”, Nakyoung asks. “Yes, and I’m taking her to dinner and then a grocery run later”, you glance into the restaurant and see that Suyeon is looking at you, “I gotta go. Talk to you guys soon, okay? Good evening”.

You hang up the call and head back to your table. “Sorry, sweetheart. The president just called”, you explain to her, “are we ready to go or?”. She reaches her arms out, “carry me, oppa”. “Oh, um, sure”, you say, “haven’t lifted weights in a while but I should be okay”. Suyeon sulks, “I-I’m not that heavy, oppa, I promise”. You show her a soft smile before carrying her on your back, “I know, sweetheart. Come, let’s go to the supermarket”.

-

You drop her off in front of the supermarket and lift her chin to look at you. “Sweetheart, listen to me: I want you to get all the things you need and want without worrying about how much they are. Can you do that, please?”. “Yes, oppa”, she says with a gleeful and precious smile, “let’s goooo!”. She runs inside and grabs a trolley before sprinting towards the vegetable and fruit section. You follow her as she grabs some bok choys, half a rock melon, half a watermelon, and a few different types of mushrooms. She turns to you just before she reaches the freezer, “can-can we get some sausages, please, oppa? I, uh, I’ve been wanting to eat sausages for a while”. “Of course we can, sweetie. Which type do you like?”, you ask. “The-the one with cheese in it, up there”, she shyly points to the top rack of the wall freezer. You get on your tippy toes and grab a pack, “is one pack enough?”. “Ye-yes, I’ll make sure to not eat it in one sitting”, she says.

She then takes a lap around the supermarket, visiting each aisle and getting at least 1 item from every rack: soap, shampoo, pads, skincare, instant noodles, dried pasta, cheese, ketchup, hot sauce, kimchi, ground beef, chicken thi—“oppa”, she calls out to you as you’re inspecting her trolley, “I’m sorry”. “Excuse me?”, you say, unsure of what she’s sorry for. She looks down in timidity and points at the trolley full of stuff, “y-you said I could buy whatever I need and want, s-so I did”. “Oh”, you say, finally catching on to what she was sorry for, “it’s fine, I swear. It physically hurt me to see your empty pantry so I’m glad that I can help you fill it—come, let’s pay for these things and go home”. You push the trolley for Suyeon, and she wraps an arm around yours as you walk to the cashier. Suyeon covers her eyes as the cashier scans each item, probably feeling embarrassed of how many things she’s put in there. “That will be ₩48.600, sir”, the cashier says, and you hand him your card to pay. You notice that Suyeon is looking down at her shoes, so you grab her chin and turn her face towards you. “It’s okay”, you mouth to her with a smile, and Suyeon nods in response.

-

You and Suyeon carry one box each, as you make your way back to her apartment. Suyeon’s door makes a beep with every number she presses, until it makes a buzzing sound and unlocks. “Welcome back, oppa. Oh my God, my apartment is squeaky clean. I wonder who cleaned it”, she says with a dramatic voice. You laugh hearing her say that, “yeah, I wonder who did that? Must be someone important to you”. Both of you put down the boxes on the dining table, and Suyeon turns to you. “You are important to me, oppa”, she says before pulling you into a kiss. You try to break the kiss, but Suyeon chases you and kisses you harder.

“Oppa”, she says after finally breaking the kiss, “thank you for being here. You have no idea how thankful I am”. You muster up the bravery to confess to her, “I, um, I think I like you—I understand that this is not the time for that yet, but—”. Suyeon interrupts you by placing a finger on your lips. “If this isn’t the time, then I don’t know when is. I like you too, oppa”, she says with a smile. You return her smile with one of tenderness and promise her that you’ll protect her from harm in any shape or form; “I can’t stand seeing you be so sad, sweetheart. I want to draw smiles and laughs on your face”. Her eyes are glassy from unreleased tears, “I’ve been smiling and laughing a lot today, oppa. I’d say you’re doing a great job on your first day of being mine”. You blink rapidly in confusion, “do you want to run that by me again?”. “Ah, I should’ve asked first”, she slaps her forehead, “will you be my boyfriend, oppa?”. You chuckle, “will you be my girlfriend, Suyeon-ah?”. “Only if you promise to be my boyfriend and call me sweetheart all the time”, she says as the dam in her eyes finally breaks.

Love confessions usually end with a kiss and sex (at least that’s what they show on TV), but yours ends with both parties crying while hugging tightly. “Suyeon-ie must be tired of crying”, you think to yourself. You break the hug and wipe the tears off her cheek. “I love you, baby, but seeing you cry pains my heart”, you say to her. “If I get to be this happy all the time, I’ll cry until my eyes are dry, oppa—that’s a good trade in my opinion, and I’m sure you understand”, she utters, her forehead pressed against your chest.

Your roaming eyes eventually land on the boxes full of groceries, and you want to use them as an excuse so you can go up for air. “Baby, we need to put those things where they belong. Let’s continue this later, okay?”, you persuade her. Suyeon unwraps her arms ever so slowly, “but how can I express my love if we’re not touching, oppa?”. You take her hand and place it on your chest, “your love is locked tight here, honey. I’ll never forget your love”. “That’s sweet”, she comments, “okay, let’s unpack these bitches”. “Whoa, whoa, pause”, you say, “bitches? Seriously?”. Your question shorts her brain, “o-oh, uh, I meant to say boxes—sorry, oppa”. “Let’s not use such malicious term again, okay, baby?”, you peck her on the forehead after stating your request.

“Oppa, can we listen to some music?”, she asks as she fishes out some pads from the box. You chuckle, “I’m going to judge your music taste, though”. Suyeon scoffs in response, “oh, please, I know my stuff”. She runs to her phone, and you instantly hear a familiar melody playing over the speakers under her TV. “Oh, God, not this song again”, you say to yourself.

Be my only one

이렇게 부르고 싶은 이름 내 곁에 (The name I want to call you by)

손을 잡고서 같이 걸어요 (Let’s hold hands and walk along)

비가 오는 밤에도, 외로웠던 낮에도 (On rainy nights, or on lonely daytimes)

그대 환한 빛깔을 내게 가득 칠해줘요 (Please color me with your shiny light)

내가 더 잘할게요, 이렇게 같이 있어준다면 (I’ll do better, if you stay with me like this)

You drop what you’re doing and turn to Suyeon, who is staring at her phone blankly. “Are you o—“, Suyeon interrupts your question with one of her own, “do you know how long I’ve wished I had someone by my side, oppa? Someone who doesn’t hate me but instead loves me, or wishes me nothing but the best, or-or-or—God fucking damn it, where have you been all this time, oppa? Where were you when I spent all night crying because I was so fucking tired of doing these dumbasses’ shit? Where were you when they surrounded me and called me a useless fucking bitch because I wouldn’t give them my notes? Where-where were you when Naeun-ie slapped me after class? Where on earth were you, oppa? Why weren’t you protecting me?”. Suyeon drops to her knees and starts breaking down in tears as she recounts the terrible memories and the pain they have caused.

You rush to Suyeon and hug her, offering the comfort that she desperately needs at the moment. “I’m so sorry, baby; I’m sorry I wasn’t by your side when you needed it most, but I’m here right now—I’m here for you”, you say while trying your hardest to stay solid for Suyeon. You let Suyeon cry to her heart’s content in your arms while you whisper to her ear things such as “it’s okay”, “they can’t hurt you anymore”, and “I’m here for you”. Deep inside, you promise that you’ll devote yourself to helping victims of bullying instead of wasting time fighting the bad guys. “This is my last time, Jisung-ah—I promise”, you say in your head.

“Jungwoo-oppa”, Suyeon says with trembling voice, “I know I’m pitiful and all that, but please don’t say you love me because of pity—I want to be loved with pure intentions, oppa”. “Pity led me to fighting that asshole, but it was my heart that led me to falling for you”, you say to her. “Respectfully, sweetheart, I think you’re beautiful and attractive”, you double down on the confession from earlier. Suyeon pushes you away, her mouth is open in delight and surprise, “aww really? You think I’m beautiful, oppa? You’re not lying, are you?”. You shake your head, “I think you’re beautiful, baby—again, respectfully”. Suyeon wipes her tears and chuckles, “you can stop saying respectfully, oppa. I don’t find your words to be offensive or demeaning—in fact, I like hearing you say that I’m beautiful, honey”. You grin widely, “baby, can you keep calling me that? It makes me, um, feel loved—you don’t have to, though; you can call me oppa if you want”. “You’re my boyfriend, honey, not someone who’s simply older than me”, she laughs, “I’ll use other pet names if you don’t mind”.

You pull her up to her feet so that you can continue unpacking the boxes, but apparently Suyeon has a different idea: “I want to have sex, oppa. I want to consummate our relationship”. You pat your pockets and feel that they’re empty, “I don’t have condoms with me, honey”. She shrugs, “I don’t see the problem. I’ve been taking pills anyway—look at me, I’ve been taking pills even though I was single; kinda sad, don’t you think?”. “Can I ask where you want to have sex at?”, you ask her. She puts on a confused face, “why, in bed, of course—what kind of question is that, oppa? I’m not some cheap girl who has sex anywhere, you know”.

You apologize for the dumb question and carry her to the bedroom as she wishes. “Take off your clothes, oppa; I want to watch”, she requests. You set her dead center on the bed (it’s a twin bed) and stand in the empty space in her bedroom. She drops her jaw in surprise when she sees your muscles; “my goodness, no wonder those brats didn’t stand a chance against you—that chocolate abs are hot, by the way”. “You can thank Jung Jisung for that; he was the one who convinced me to get fit”, you tell her as you take off your jeans, revealing the bulged boxers. Suyeon bites her fingers in nervousness as her eyes are locked on your crotch. “Oh my fucking God”, she gasps, “there’s no way you’re that big—anyway, my turn now”.

Suyeon stands in front of you and pull her T-shirt over her head, showing you her perfect-sized tits. She slaps your hand away when you try touching her tits, telling you to be patient. She proceeds to pull down her jeans and panties, and you see that her pussy is clean shaven, looking mega tempting. “Now I can confidently say that I shaved for my boyfriend”, she says, “what do we do now, my dear boyfriend?”.

You lie down on Suyeon’s bed and tell her to sit on your face, and she praises you for “such a brilliant idea”. She sets her thighs on both sides of your face, her pussy hanging low above your mouth. You pull her down by her thighs and instantly start working on her pussy with your mouth and tongue. Suyeon is moaning and jerking around as you keep stimulating her; “baby, that’s so good”, she says. One particular lick from you causes her to jolt and scream, so you use your big hands to hold her down, “stop moving around, will you?”. “I-I’m sorry—God, I’m so close already”, she announces that she’s almost there, so you pick up your pace and keep sucking and licking until her valves break open.

“I’M CUMMING!”, she shrieks, drenching your face in her juice as she tumbles backwards on your body. She weakly rolls over onto the bed, “I haven’t cummed that hard in so long. Thank you, baby”. “Don’t thank me yet; we’re far from done”, you tell her. “Oppa, I want to suck your cock but I don’t have the energy to get up. I’ll just lie down and have you do the work”, she says.

You respond by getting off the bed and pull Suyeon towards you until her head hangs off the edge, aiming to fuck her throat. As soon as Suyeon opens her mouth, you plunge into it right away. You patiently move your cock forwards and backwards in her mouth to warm her up. You groan in bliss when you feel Suyeon’s tongue lapping the underside of your cock, “fuck, that’s a good girl”. You can’t see her face since your cock is blocking the view, but you’d like to think she gave you a wink for the compliment.

You want to turn it up a notch as your patience has evaporated away but you don’t want to go too hard just yet, so you tell her about your intention by pushing deep past her mouth and into her throat. “You don’t gag? That’s a good girl”, you repeat the praise from earlier. As if seeing the green light, you keep fucking her mouth deep but slowly until you think that she’s ready to take a proper throat fuck. The way your cock makes her throat bulge is very arousing, “my cock is in your throat, love”. She taps your thighs repeatedly after a few thrusts, so you pull out to see if she wants to have a break. “I want your cum in my stomach, oppa—you know what to do, right?”, she tells you.

You tell her that you want to give her a throat fuck and Suyeon nods in agreement, so you go back in her mouth and go deep right away. “I hope you’re ready”, you say to her. You plant your hands on the bed and start fucking mouth fast like it was her pussy, but you still hear no gag; “very impressive, baby”, you think to yourself. You keep fucking her and bulging her throat and you wish you could keep going until the sun rises again, but orgasm is already at the door. So, you fuck her with the last drops of fuel you have in your cock and stuff your cock into her throat before blowing your first load, sending it right into her stomach.

After you’ve released all the cum you have, you retreat from her wet mouth, and you hear her gasp sharply. “I thought I was going to die, oppa”, she says, “that was the first time I’ve had my throat fucked like that”. “Sorry, I know this is your private matter, but can I ask how many guys you have had sex with?”, you ask. “You’re my second, babe”, she says, “but believe me when I say that I wish you had been my first, because that guy was an asshole—his dick didn’t compare to yours, by the way. What about you? How many girls have been lucky to have your cock?”. “One girl before you, sorry”, you scratch the back of your head apologetically. “Eh, just one, that’s fine. I would cry if you said you’ve had a dozen”, she says before repositioning herself on the bed. She then eyes your cock that is still hard and erect and points at it, “I believe we aren’t done yet”. You backtrack to her previous comment before joining her in bed, “I hadn’t been attractive at all until I met Jung Jisung; there was no way I could’ve had a dozen girls before you, love”.

“That’s enough talk, oppa. Come here and make love to me, please”, she says. You join her in bed and get on top, “you’re so pretty, baby”. She blushes hearing you say it, “thank you for being so kind all the time, oppa. I-I love you”. You smile as you aim your cock at her entrance, “I’ll show you how much I love you”. You start moving forward into Suyeon’s warm and tight pussy, earning a soft moan from her. “You’re so tight, love”, you comment, basking in the sensation. “Ah, hah—only for you, oppa—fu-fuck, so big”, she replies. Hearing her praise your size fuels the fire of lust in your head and with it, you pick up the pace and fuck her faster, making her moan and scream in the process.

You keep up the tempo until you hear an oddly loud scream from her; “I’M CUMMING AGAIN—FUCK!”. You stop your pumps and pray to God that her room is somewhat soundproofed, because it’d be very awkward if her neighbor called the police on you for this. She twists and turns as the high of orgasm shorts her body and mind, and you patiently wait without pulling out, taking the time to sort out your breaths. “Oppa, oppa”, she calls out with her eyes closed, “you’re so good to me—so fucking good”. “You’re so good too, love; you’re so fucking tight”, you praise her. “I’m just me, oppa; it’s you that’s just so big”, she pulls you down towards her, “can I have your cum again?”. You nod and start fucking her again while maintaining the hugging position.

“I’m so close, love. Where do you want it?”, you ask her. “Ah, ah, hah—w-which part of I’ve been taking pills d-did—oh, fuck me—did you not un-derstand, oppa?”, she says. You release your cum into her pussy with a deep groan, and the warmth of your cum makes her let out a long moan. “No, stay”, she says when you try to pull out, “you would’ve made me pregnant if I wasn’t on pills”. “It—hah, God—it would be reckless to make you pregnant”, you reply. “Don’t worry, oppa; I’ll make sure I don’t lose my perfect physique during pregnancy”, she says with a giggle. You chuckle, “maybe we’ll get you pregnant one day, but that day isn’t today, love”.

You retreat from her pussy the moment she unwraps her legs from around your waist, and your cum instantly leaks out onto the bed. “Glad it’s still as thick; I would hate to disappoint”, you say as you inspect the result of your work. “Can I have a taste, oppa? You sent that first straight to my belly and I couldn’t taste it”, Suyeon says. You slather your index finger with your cum and bring it to her mouth; “mm, salty. I like it”, she comments.

-

“Oppa, I love you”, she says, seemingly out of nowhere during the cuddle, “stay with me, okay?”. You peck the top of her head, “I’ll stay with you and protect you until you’re sick of me, love”. She laughs out loud, “how can I be sick of you, oppa? You’re kind, you’re handsome, and you have a big cock; that’s everything a girl ever wants from her partner—promise me to not be violent again, though. As much as I think Lee Taewon deserved it, I hated that you resorted to that”. You sigh as you think about the memory from earlier, “I’m sorry that you had to see that, love. I promise I’ll work on it, okay? Let’s get some sleep now”.

Instead of closing her eyes to go to bed, Suyeon jumps off the bed and makes to leave the bedroom instead, “no, I need to study. Thanks for the sex, oppa, it’ll help me focus”. You follow her out of the bedroom and see that she’s already sitting at the dining table with a laptop in front of her, “you’re not going to put anything on?”. “No, I want some more after this”, she says with a wink.

“Who would’ve thought someone who had been in such a terrible situation would turn out to be such a sex bomb?”, you think to yourself, “I guess bullying does mess up people’s head more than I knew”.

[diordeer]

౨ৎ SWEET NOTHING

“Outside, they're push and shoving, you're in the kitchen humming, all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing” - taylor swift (smau)

contains: charlie bushnell x fem!reader who collects random stuff

authors note: i had a sudden motivation to do this, considering my newfound sonny angel obsession!! rn i have chocolate french bulldog, chocolate elephant, and a christmas fawn 🥰

requested by: @tomblythsslut see here

Liked by iamcharliebushnell, leahsavajeffries and others

yn.ln the council have decided…

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iamcharliebushnell decided what…

↳ yn.ln that u must come over… NOW 👹

↳ iamcharliebushnell 🫡🫡

↳ user1 I LOVE HOW HES IMMEDIATELY SCARED

user2 omg they are so cute

user3 collection tour pls 😍

↳ yn.ln obvii

user4 whos the leader?

↳ yn.ln strawberry

user5 pls yn… i need more content, shows, movies, interviews ANYTHING. IM STARVING 😖

↳ yn.ln 🤫🤫

user6 all this is making think of that steven universe sound

↳ yn.ln i want ONE

↳ user6 I WANT MY OWN ARMY!!

↳ yn.ln I WANT MY OWN PLANETT!!

↳ iamcharliebushnell plls dont get more im begging on my knees

↳ yn.ln sigghh… guess ill start a sylvanian family collection then 😕

Liked by yn.ln, aryansimhadri and others

iamcharliebushnell my gf (and my scary af competitors)

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user1 You guys know that one snl skit…

↳ user6 WITH DUA LIPA OMG

↳ user1 yess!!

↳ yn.ln wdym thats not a skit, that was literally me?

yn.ln scary?! Ur one to say

↳ user2 HELLO?

↳ iamcharliebushnell proof of the daily abuse i go through.. 😔

↳ yn.ln WOWWW

user3 awwh the first pic

↳ user4 they are so cute, literally my favourite couple eeverr

↳ user5 we all need a man like charlie

bsf pookie i need to see u NOWWW

↳ yn.ln its been too long omg when r you free 😔

walker.scobell tf r u guys doing in the last pic 🤨

↳ iamcharliebushnell devouring

↳ dior.n.goodjohn who the hell is teaching you this slang

↳ yn.ln guilty…

yn.ln posted on their story

seen by leahsavajeffries, aryansimhadri and others

Liked by dior.n.goodjohn, walker.scobell and others

yn.ln dw my sonny angels barely compete to u 🥰

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iamcharliebushnell get that 05 out of here NOW

↳ yn.ln NEVERR

user1 ass reveal!

↳ yn.ln WHAT?! EXCUSE MEEE

↳ user1 NO OMG I MEAN LIKE BC LIKE UR INSTA STORY AND THE SONNY ANGELS

↳ yn.ln GIRL

↳ user2 YOU COULD NOT HAVE WORDED THAT WORSE

↳ user3 to be fair i dont think u could have worded that better either

user4 girlies who relate to the second post rise!

↳ yn.ln 🫡🫡

dior.n.goodjohn im currently imagining charlie in a pink room, and i honestly see it and think itsvery fitting

↳ iamcharliebushnell its become me

↳ yn.ln this is all part of my evil plan 😈

↳ iamcharliebushnell … should i be scared 😖

[liked by creator]

↳ leahsavajeffries LMAO

user5 the first pic.. they are so cute im pooping myself

taglist: @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @m00ng4z3r @highfidelities @b0ok-lover @vamplyle @xyzstar @urmomsgirlfriend1 @alexandria-millie

[pettyprocrastination]

Leg Day

Pairing: Art Donaldson x Female Powerlifter!Reader

Summary: You first catch Art Donaldson's eye in the university gym when all you want to do is hit back and biceps before class, the tennis player finds himself quite caught in your physique.

Warnings: foul language, smut, oral (f receiving), Art eats pussy and likes your thighs a whole lot. Reader is described as muscular. One line describes reader as not looking like Tashi in terms of physique.

Word Count: 1k

Author's note: Forcing myself to get back into writing at the same time im forcing myself to get back to the gym :') take this lil ficlet as a sign of my love for those who still follow me on here lmaoo.

Art adored your thighs. 

You didn’t look like Tashi. Not that there was anything wrong with that in his mind, of course. But the physiques differed greatly. The star tennis player of Stanford had a lean build from her years of training and perfecting her sport. Long legs that covered the court in smooth strides and toned arms that delivered a vicious backhand. 

The same body he and Patrick had nearly shared that one fateful night in a dingey hotel room when they should have been sleeping before their match in the morning. The same body he had found his gaze lingering on a touch too long to be appropriate for his best friend's girlfriend. 

And the same body you called him out for drooling over in the campus gym when all you wanted to do was a simple arm workout before your 10 am. 

“So are you actually going to use the bench or are you just gonna sit on it and stare at her like a fucking creep for another twenty minutes?” 

You were not Tashi Duncan. 

Strong arms crossed over one another as you waited for him to either say something or move, neither of which his brain could comprehend as you stood before him expectantly. A powerful, if not a tad intimidating physique supported by thick, muscular quads built from years of lifting heavy in sweat-filled weight rooms since you were a little girl that grew tired of soccer. 

Then cheer. 

Then volleyball. 

The gymnastics. 

Powerlifting was the one sport that finally stuck. 

“It makes me feel strong.” You had explained your love for the sport to him one night. With his head laying in your lap, the textbook he had carried with him to your dorm under the excuse of needing help studying now laid discarded on your floor as he listened to your story. “Seeing how much I can lift, how it feels to finally make a weight you’ve been struggling with for so long. It feels like you’re proving something, you know? Especially when you’re one of the only girls in the weight room.” 

Art could feel the testament to your craft under him. The thick corded muscle of your quads beneath his head as your fingers carded through his hair absentmindedly. Legs that were hugged by every pair of shorts you wore or hidden beneath the same pair of Stanford sweatpants whenever you felt a chill in the air. He found himself dreading the coming of winter as the two of you began to spend more time together. 

He wasn’t sure when the admiration began to shift into something deeper, slowly turning from one athlete showing respect for another’s commitment to their sport into a hormonal college freshman staring at your ass in spandex shorts each time he bumped into you at the campus gym. 

What he did know was that the night he finally found himself between your legs was one he would never forget. How quickly the pair of you shed your clothes in one anothers embrace, turning your room into nothing more than a collection of discarded study packets and kicked off Stanford merch telling the story that Art would no doubt replay in his mind for the entirety of winter break. 

The soft smile on your face as he crawled on top of you, pressing fervent kisses to every inch of your body that you would allow him access. How he memorized each microscopic reaction, that a kiss to your neck would make you giggle but turn into a shuddering gasp if he dug his teeth into the skin. How you softened in his arms when he ran his tongue along the scar lining your hip, one he would have to ask you about someday. 

But dear God, he could write poetry about your legs. 

The feeling of them wrapping around his head while he lapped at your cunt with tentative kitten licks that soon turned into devouring you with a desperation that could no doubt be heard through the walls. Your muscles twitching and trembling from his touch as you cried out his name with an arched back and scrambling hands, desperately trying to reach him until you found purchase in his soft curls, gripping just tight enough to verge on being painful. His own moans mixing with yours, poor bastard getting so lost in giving you pleasure he didn't even realize when he began to grind his hips into your mattress, desperately searching for a release while helping you reach your own. 

To hear your voice pitch into an airy whine as your thighs tightened around his head. Tighter and tighter as he pushed you over the edge of your orgasm, hips twitching against his mouth still working away against your dripping cunt in a way that verged on being gluttonous until you pulled him away with a sharp tug on his hair. 

In the aftermath, a silence settled over the two of you like a soft blanket. Spit-slicked lips laid feather-light kisses against the still twitching muscles of your thighs, pressing against the blooming bite marks that he knew would just barely peek out from the cuff of your shorts you wore during your morning training sessions. A minuscule stake of claim that he had no business branding you with given that he was too chickenshit to take you out on a real date. 

Had you opened your eyes, you’d see that his were already trained on you with a softness you weren’t yet ready to see. Admiring the rise and fall of your chest with a faint smile on his face and the desire to take you out properly. To scrounge up enough money from his bank account after the room & board payments bleed him dry to some small burger shop or maybe the local theater to see you outside of the walls of your dorm or the university gym, wearing something nice and laughing at his jokes before kissing him goodnight. To sit in the stands of his next match as his girlfriend and congratulate him on his win with an overly obnoxious kiss that he would swear was humiliating but made him preen under your praise like a peacock during mating season. To do all of the downright nauseatingly romantic bullshit every nineteen year old boy wanted to do with the girl he was too afraid to actually make a move on. 

But not yet. 

“Have you ever considered wrestling? You’ve got a killer leg lock.”

[saintjosie]

Hey, sorry for setting a bit of a depressing tone with this ask but im a struggling baby trans girl

Do you have any advice for coping with the thoughts of "i will never manage to mold my body into a woman's body"?

Right now i am unable to start transitioning due to multiple reasons - both social (especially family) and hrt accessibility related - and my biggest issue with my body is that it's just.. annoyingly masculine. Ever since i was 14 my legs had more and longer hair than my 30-something old cousin's husband. Ever since i was 12 i started feeling too ashamed of my body to wear short pants and it was only this year that i started feeling a bit more ok about it (I will not disclose my age publicly, but i am in university).

And it's like. It's so exhausting to look in the mirror and not only not recognise the face as my own, but often actively hate it. To look at my body and to barely tolerate it anymore

There are some things that i've tried. I've trimmed my leg hair (to a fourth of its original size), and the instant my parents noticed they mocked me. I'm trying to let my hair grow but not only am i getting bombarded with questions of "when are you gonna get a haircut/let me give you a haircut" from all members of my family, it's also in that incredibly awkwards state which i know i will have to push through, but it still makes it even harder for me to look into the mirror

Once again, sorry for the tone of this ask, but do you have any words of hope or advice?

im sorry youre going through all of that. its incredibly difficult and i feel for you. i think that one thing that i frequently see from people in the earliest stages in transition is the struggle of feeling like they will never see themselves in the mirror. and i get it. i was 29 by the time i started hormones and a big part of why i was scared to do it was because i also thought that i was never going to look the way i wanted to. and whether or not we like it, there is safety in being able to say, oh if i dont look the way i want to, then its better for me not to try at all. its a horrible feeling but its one that you've lived with for years and there is safety in the familiarity.

but that's the thing - no one ever looks 100% the way they want to. i dont know a single person who hasnt had the struggle of looking in the mirror and wishing they could change something. and yes, we as trans people face that much more than most other people but it is a human experience to want to change and better ourselves.

after four years of being on hormones, i still look in the mirror and see things i want to change but also that feeling is much much less now. and its not just the hormones either. i like the way i dress because i wear what i want to. i like my hair because i decided i wanted to grow it out and change the color. i stopped molding my appearance to fit other people's expectations. and in doing so, i found that liking something about myself mattered far more than if other peopled like it. so shave your legs! grow out your hair! when people ask you questions, dont answer or tell them to fuck off! you dont need to make excuses for yourself because you dont need an excuse to be who you want to be.

im gonna be completely honest with you - it will not be easy. and youre not going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly find that your entire perspective has changed. in fact it is very likely, and very human, to continue to question the decisions you make. but always remember, you know who you are. and if you dont know, then only you are capable of finding out. and so i say with all the love in the world, i hope you find yourself and learn to love yourself in the process <3

[andromeda-nova-writing]

Qualifications of Critique

Fem!Reader Words: 1130

AN: This is very much a test to see if I can write him in character. Also, my first time posting a fic for HSR

Dr. Ratio flipped the page of the chemistry book he had begun to study enjoying the peace and quiet of the university library. A welcome change of pace after spending most of the day grading papers that hadn’t met his standards. There were a handful of students he had hoped to step to the plate but only a few of that group continued to show promise—a pity.

The library had been mostly quiet only gaining more silence as students left for the day. Something he would have done himself if not for the horribly late faculty meeting that had been scheduled in a few more hours.

There was the quiet tapping of heels against the carpet floor getting ever louder. It was an easy sound to ignore but should have served more as a warning with the voice that spoke from behind him. “If it isn’t the worst teacher to ever grace the cosmos.”

He closed the book, turning his head around to see one of the professors who worked there alongside him. She stood there with a bag around her shoulder and her arms crossed. “Excuse me?” He asked, already annoyed that his break had been interrupted.

“I’m being asked, actually that’s the wrong word. I’m being told to move my classroom to make room for a new study hall dedicated to trying to improve the rate of three percent of your students passing.” She complained.

”Don’t take this up with me. It’s not my fault your class was being moved.” He stood up. It would be best to go back to his office and lock the door if he wanted any ounce of peace.

”It is. This study hall wouldn’t have been created if you were better at your job.” She glared up at him, tapping her shoe attempting to calm herself down at the information she had recently been told.

”Have you considered that these students should have to work at grasping the material? It isn’t my fault that they are too foolish to understand simple concepts.” His book had been abandoned on the table.

”Of course, it’s simple to you. You already know it!” Y/N rolled her eyes at his reasoning. “How can you be so smart but still not even understand that being a good teacher means your students should be passing your class?” Any students still lingering around in the library were rushing to pack their things with hushed gossip over the argument that was unfolding.

Arguments between the two of them were slowly becoming famous across campus. Students and professors wondered when the tension between them would finally break. As entertaining as they could be to watch, no one wanted to risk being caught in the crossfire and being forced to take a side.

”I am passing those who put in the work. That’s what should be done.”

”I’m not saying to just pass everyone. Yes, pass those who put in the work. But you also should be putting the work in to make sure they have a chance at understanding the work that is being asked of them.” She explained. It wasn’t like that should be a hard thing to comprehend.

”I put the effort in.”

The bag on her shoulder fell to the floor as she uncrossed her arms. “You do not. You talk a big game of ridding the world of ignorance but can't even take the time to learn how to be a better teacher to do just that!” Her bag had been left on the floor as she took steps forward, shortening the distance between the two of them. “It's such a joke that you consider yourself so smart but are too stupid to see that.”

The distance between them was almost closed as they stood near each other. She had been the only person in this university to challenge his intelligence. Other professors had been quick to praise him but she focused on pointing out his faults to say where he could improve. It was infuriating but a welcomed difference to see someone who could clearly think for themselves.

“I don't see how insulting me adds to your critique of my teaching abilities. I'm not even sure if this qualifies as a critique.”

“Have you ever done a critique yourself? It involves saying what should be improved and then offering advice to guide that person in the right direction, sometimes showing them step-by-step what to do. It makes the base for anyone even interested in teaching. I’m surprised that critique is even in your vocabulary.” 

His eyes didn’t mean to wander down at her lips. Glossed to absolute perfection as she spoke a mix of insults and advice. “Do you ever shut up?” He asked, missing the peace and quiet that the library was known for before she had stepped in.

“Occasionally when those I am conversing with have value to add. If you would take the time to reflect on what I have been saying we wouldn’t have to keep having this conversation. Do you understand how your actions have an effect on me?”

“I wasn’t aware that you would let others have any sort of effect on you.”

“It’s when I’m able to move on with my life. You just keep causing me roadblocks. First, my program loses funding that gets diverted to yours because you have a big name. Now I lose my classroom for a study hall for students struggling with your class. What are you going to change in my life next? I would at least appreciate some sort of warning.”

“If that is what you would consider life changing then I believe we are both using separate definitions.”

She rolled her eyes before speaking in a sarcastic tone. “Oh won't the great Veritas Ratio enlighten me then.”

Maybe it was the way that she knew how to stand her ground against him. Or maybe it was that she saw the humanity within him to acknowledge his flaws instead of defaulting to praise like others had. Could it have been that when she came to complain about his teaching she treated the argument more like a debate something that could be seen past the insults? 

He placed his hand underneath her chin holding her gaze on him. Y/N let out a small gasp. “Veritas…” The boldness in her voice had dropped into almost a whisper. “I meant a definition, not this.”

“Everything you said has made it sound like you pride yourself on a proper example.”

“So you do know how to listen. You’re just horrible at application.” She leaned her head to the side, her boldness only dropping momentarily as it returned to her voice. “We should revisit what a life-changing moment is once your class has upped the passage rate.”

[supercorpkid]

How You Get the Girl - part 2

Supergirl. Lena Luthor x Reader!

Word Count: 2995.

Part 1

Notes: should I do another part? Would anyone be interested in a part 3?

You make your way to a new Earth, with a quick search you find out that the DEO is still active. Lena works for them and Supergirl doesn’t, which makes way more sense than the other way around.

“Hey, there you are!” One of the agents greets you with a lab coat with your name on it. “Ms. Luthor is waiting for you in lab 3.”

“Oh, I’m not —“ you breathe deep. “Heh, you know what? Whatever. Which way?”

“Lab 3?” He repeats as if you’re supposed to know. Then points in a direction when he draws no reaction from you. “That way.”

“Thanks!” You put on the lab coat that clearly doesn’t belong to you, and follow the direction he pointed to. “Hey Lena!”

“Oh.” Lena says, not looking up from the experiment before her. “Look who is finally on time!”

“No one’s ever complained about my tardiness before.” You complain half to yourself, half to Lena.

“Not to your face.” Her response comes quickly and you roll your eyes to it. "Take your place, please." She looks at the chair and you make your way there.

"So, why do I have a lab coat with my name on it? I'm not a scientist."

"God, no. Thank God, no." Lena says and you roll your eyes at her one more time, unamused. "You're my guinea pig."

"Cute." You already don't think this will be your favorite Lena.

Lena throws one look back at you, then clicks something on her computer. She looks at the cameras and you follow her gaze to see they no longer have a red light on, so that probably means she shut them down. "Did either J'onn or Kara see you coming in?"

"No."

"Does Alex know where you are?"

"I don't think so, no."

"Great." Lena turns around, straddling your lap, and she holds you face with both hands before kissing you so hard, you're almost left with no air inside you. 

"Wait, wait." You try while she kisses down your neck, and her hands make way under your shirt. "I'm not your Y/N! I'm not –" Your brain refuses to work while her cold fingers slide on your bare skin. "I'm from a different universe!"

Lena takes her face from the crook of your neck and looks at you in disbelief. "Is this another excuse for us not to make out anymore?" She sounds uninterested. "Are you feeling bad for Alex again?"

"Why would I feel bad for Alex?" 

"Because she is your wife?" Comes in the form of a question. Like a duh.

"WHAT!" You push Lena from your lap and stand up in a hurry. "I'm married in this universe and you and I –"

You look disgusted, but Lena just stares at you like she is waiting for your tantrum to be over. "We're horrible people!"

"Ok. Ok. I see what's happening. Alex did something sweet and now you want to break things off and then in a couple of days you're gonna call me again." She sounds nonchalant about it, and you're almost throwing up while hearing it. 

"Oh no." You hold back the vomit on your mouth. "Hell no. I can't be stuck in this. I'm gonna get far away from you. You and Y/N from this Earth are both disgusting and messed up. I hope you know this." You take off the lab coat that doesn't belong to you and run so fast, you miss your counterpart walking in the DEO at the exact same time.

You land on a different Earth. It takes you a lot more investigation to find out where Lena is, and it's almost as if she is hiding. But you're a good reporter, you know Lena pretty well, so you manage to find her in a secret lab.

"Hey Lena." You have a smile on your face that soon fades when a gun is pointed to your head.

"You have ten seconds to tell me how you found me here, before I kill you." Lena's expression at you tells you she is not joking. She really means it.

"Shit. Wrong Earth. Wrong Earth." You fumble with your ring and thank God you get out of that place in less than ten seconds.

By the tenth trip it has gotten easier. Find Lena. Check if she doesn't hate you; if one of you is not married; if you two are actually gay; if the thought of you together doesn't make her gag. Explain who you are. Ask for advice. Get out of it empty handed. 

Everything becomes a blur, and your memories start to merge the different worlds together. The many Lenas you've met seem so different that none of them resemble your Lena anymore. In fact, the confusion in your mind grows so intense that you begin to forget what your Earth and your Lena truly look like. But you won't quit.

You arrive in yet another world. You've seen it all. Earths where Lena doesn't love you, ones that she is straight, others she is with Kara, and in some you and her are together. Though those weren't exactly helpful. If anything, they added to your confusion and desperation. Are you ever gonna get the girl?

In this reality, Lena is the head of CatCo, making her your boss—a less than ideal situation, to say the least. You drag your sorry ass one more time, to face yet another disappointment, you're sure.

"Y/N!" Lena smiles when you wander into her office. It's late, most employees have left already, but there's a handful of people still preparing to leave. "I thought you had called a day." She looks at her watch. "A couple of hours ago."

You wait, is there a kiss coming your way? Are you going to stop it before it happens this time or are you going to pretend you don't want it to happen after it does? The kiss doesn't come. This Lena is waiting on your response from the exact same place, which probably means you two aren't together in this universe.

You collapse onto her beige couch, letting out a huge sigh. You're so tired of this hopeless crusade. Perhaps you and Lena were never meant to end up together. Maybe the versions of you that actually got the girl are a fluke. Glitches in the system.

"Darling," She comes closer. "are you ok?"

"No. God, no. I'm not ok." You raise your head to see Lena's worried features, while she hovers over you. "Before I say anything, I need to warn you I'm not your Y/N. I'm from another Earth, and this is probably the 15th one that I visited so far. So I'm exhausted and far from ok, and I just want to cry."

Lena blinks. Green eyes framed with dark eyeliner, pink lips slightly open, so confused. Her straight, dark hair falls around her face, and you can't help but to steal a look at her incredibly inappropriate cleavage for show.

"Just call your Y/N if you don't believe me."

"No, I –" She sits next to you, calmly. "I believe you." Lena purses her lips, staring at your watery eyes. "So, how come you want to cry?"

You blink your tears away. "I love you." You breathe out. "Well, not you exactly. But you, from my Earth. But you don't love me back, and I've been everywhere trying to find one universe where it all worked out. Where you didn't love me, but I could – I somehow won you over." The tears are now streaming down your face without your control, and you don't even bother cleaning them. She stares at you with wide eyes. "But what if you and I are never supposed to work? What if Lena is never supposed to love me back?" Your breath shudders and you can't barely get your words out. "What if this is it?"

Lena licks her lips, unable to respond. You're unsure of the endgame here; you're merely using this Lena to finally unload your emotions.

"How do I just bury this feeling so deep down, when it wants nothing but to exist?"

The question falls heavy from your mouth. Loaded with more than heartbreak and it can be felt from the way your words sound. Lena feels it too. Surely, the whole world would be able to feel it. 

"You don't." She whispers back and you startle with the sound of her voice. You didn't think she would answer. "Y/N, I –" Lena breathes deep, gathering all of her courage. "I love you too. Well, you know what I mean. But on this Earth, you and Kara are dating."

"Yikes." Not yikes as in gross, but also, yes somewhat. Because you and Kara? That's weird and absurd and like dating a sister. But also yikes, cause you've landed on a universe where Lena loves you but she also didn't get the girl. "I'm sorry. I guess the last thing you needed was me crying on your couch about how much I love you."

She chuckles, looking up to hold back the tears. "God, this is so surreal." She turns to you like she's telling a secret. "I bought this company for you."

"Oh! You did that for Kara in my universe." You give her a watery laugh. "That's so very Lena of you." After a moment's thought, you lean in with a whispered revelation yourself. "I almost killed your brother to defend you. And trust me, I don't kill."

"Yeah, you – you did that for Kara here." 

You and Lena fall into a weird silence. You notice from the corner of your eye that a few tears started falling on her face and you make a move to clean it up. She holds her breath to it, and her eyes flutter closed when your thumb brush softly against her skin.

She is not your Lena, but God, do they look the same, sound the same, and even smell the same. She is everything your Lena is, plus one huge difference: she is in love with a Y/N.

"I have an idea." You whisper, not to startle her, then move your finger away.

She doesn't open her eyes to whisper back, "Please, don't say Parent Trap."

"Hey!" You defend yourself earning a heartly laugh from her end. "Parent Trap is always a solid idea."

Lena looks at you fondly, while trying to sound annoyed. "God, Y/N."

"No, that wasn't it." You actually defend yourself this time, and she sits up straighter, looking at you curiously. "I love you and you love me. Sounds like an easy fix."

"No." Her voice comes as if she is talking to a toddler. "I love you from this universe, and you love me from your universe. We're all different individuals."

"Not that different. You knew I could say the Parent Trap idea, you bought a company for someone you love and I almost killed for someone I love." She only blinks at you in utter disbelief. "Oh, come on. You're still Lena! You're absurdly smart, and beautiful. You call me darling, and laugh when I say something silly. And I am still me, I'm –" You can't find the words to describe yourself.

"You're a bright light everywhere you step in. You're the only one that makes me laugh so hard. You're the most charming person I've ever met, and you have terrible ideas and try to pass them off as good." You laugh when she says that. 

"What? I don't –"

"You've been to 15 different Earths just to find a way to make your Lena love you, instead of just talking to her about it."

"Yeah, whatever. Like you're so perfect being filthy rich and buying companies as a form of love." She chuckles again and you stare at her with renewed intent. "Come on, it's not that crazy. We can find out the differences between our counterparts, but I doubt there's anything you've done that would make me stop loving you."

"My scientist mind says this is the craziest thing someone has ever told me."

"But the stupid part that made you fall in love with me, says…"

Lena inhales deep, then lets it all out in one breath. "That I'd die for your kiss."

You've kissed many Lenas from different universes. Short and sweet kisses, big and passionate ones, and completely wrong ones as well. You can help that your heart beats almost out of your chest in anticipation for this one. This Lena, she's so much like the one you fell for, but there's an ineffable quality about her, something more. Without even a kiss, you sense that if she isn't the one for you as well, then no other Lena will ever be.

The office is bathed in a soft, dim light. The last employee left a few minutes ago, leaving you both in an oddly calm, private CatCo. You draw Lena's face close to you, feeling her hold her breath in sync with yours.

"What if this is it?" Lena asks and you realize she has different worries than yours. But you know, regardless of the uncertainty – whether this is going to be it, or not – the only way to have the answer is by kissing her.

The moment seems to stand still, as the question reveals to be the answer itself. Time stretched out so thin through the space between your lips. And you smile to yourself as the gap between you two doesn't feel insurmountable anymore. 

Lena closes the distance. It feels impossible to believe that you two haven't known each other all your lives, when the dance of your lips and tongues moves in perfect harmony. The kiss is explosive and urgent, as if it has been in the making for years. Breathless, desperate, and exploratory. It's everything, and it's only the start.

You part your lips, staring at her from so close the only thing you can look at is her glossy eyes. "I'll die." She whispers so close to your mouth you're sharing the same breath. "I'll die a little death if I can't have you again."

The floor seems to open under you, as your heart flies to your mouth beating so fast it's ringing loudly in your ears. And you cease to exist in many universes to just exist right here, in this moment.

This is it. This is love. The love you've been jumping around from one universe to another to find. The love you've been dying to have and you know it. You shared one kiss and you are sure of it.

Lena swallows a tear, a question, a whirlwind of thoughts going through her mind as she kisses you again. Then again. And each kiss becomes more passionate, more certain. It's so right it binds you two deeper and stronger at every lip and tongue and breath shared. It can't be undone. 

Lena has a million questions and you know that, can see it in her eyes, and God you have them too. How can you erase your histories? Is it as easy as this? As easy as sharing a kiss so right that defying the boundaries of many universes cease to matter? 

But you know, God, you know it's just the start. It's the start of a chain reaction that makes your heart feel alive and complete. It doesn't matter anymore if she is your Lena, because she is the Lena.

"How will this even work?" she whispers against your lips, but deep down, you both know—it will work, it must work. Nothing can stop it now.

"I don't know. God, I don't care." You answer between kisses, your breathless words expressing a certainty that defies logic. "I just know it will."

It's many, many kisses later that you both fall into a less desperate silence, tangled up in each other's arms as if this is the 100th time you've found yourselves in this position. You don't have to talk to know you're both thinking the same thing. How will this work?

"I have an idea." Your eyes widen and you untangle yourself from your place on her chest, so you can look into her eyes.

"Here we go again." She jokes lightly, but you know she trusts this idea will be just as good as the last one.

"I've been to one universe where I didn't exist. I don't know what happened to me there. If I was never born or if I'd died. But you existed and Kara was your best friend, and all of you would work in a Tower, and there was this guy Brainy, instead of Winn… Anyways." You stop your ranting when you realize you're getting a little side tracked. "I'm sure there's one Earth out there where both you and I don't exist. We could just –"

"Go to another world and start fresh. No two of you, no two of me. Just you and I making a name for ourselves." Lena completes and you smile at her, happy she understood exactly where you were going with this.

"I mean, you're stupidly smart and I have powers. Surely we can make a life for ourselves anywhere." You stop yourself when an idea crosses your mind. No, not anywhere. You smile. "And I know just where."

"You would do that?" Lena blinks, her question isn't coming from a place of confusion. She knows you would do exactly that and some more. The question is coming from a place of complete adoration.

"I'm dying to believe that you won't be the death of me." She kisses you one more time to be sure. And it's obvious. Every single time it's even more fated.

"What about everyone else on our Earths? Wouldn't we miss them?"

You show her your ring. "Have a portal –"

"Will travel." She completes it.

Yeah. This one. This one is your Lena.

[valleyofheartz]

Seventeen: I’ll See You There Tomorrow

Sometimes, you feel like Suna Rintarou is a mystery.

you constantly wonder what he’s thinking; you want to pick at the fraying ends of his carefully constructed facade, and pull it apart slow and gentle, leaving him with nothing but his raw emotions on display. you want to peel off the mask of indifference he continues to wear with careful hands, ensuring you’d keep him safe even without the veil.

you want to hold his heart and protect it. you want to cherish him, care for him. and some day, love him.

so when Atsumu texts you about Rintarou not feeling well mentally, you immediately get ready to leave.

you were currently at a family function with your aunts, uncles and cousins in a city about two hours away. the thought has you packing your clothes at a faster pace, eager to be there with him.

did you completely understand what Atsumu was saying? no.

but you got the gist of it; Suna not feeling good, he needs someone. that someone being you.

and then you’re leaving. you say quick goodbyes to your family, before running out the door to catch the next train. and when you’re seated, you can’t stop your leg from bouncing up and down as the person next to you narrows their eyes in annoyance. the ride feels unnecessarily long.

the moment you see his house come into view, your shoulders drop in relief. you’re a little sweaty from running and your hair looks a little funny, but at least you’re finally here. you attempt to straighten your clothes and pat down your hair before ringing the doorbell.

you wondered if his mother was home, but the thought escapes your mind the moment the door opens.

he looks.. like a wreck. messy bedhead, dark circles under his eyes and sunken cheeks. he’s wearing large grey sweatpants, with his Tokyo University oversized black hoodie. you want to wrap him up in a blanket and protect him from the world.

“[Name]? What are you doing here?” he looks surprised to see you, eyes widening the slightest bit.

you smile, “I just… wanted to see how you were doing!”

he crosses his arms, and you realize you’ve made him suspicious. you were never a very good liar, so you didn’t know why you even bothered with that excuse.

“Really, now? Did Atsumu or Osamu tell you something?”

you glance away, how the hell did he find out so quick?

he sighs at your reaction, “I’m fine, [Name], I swear. Just ignore whatever they told you. They can be overdramatic, you know that.”

“I can’t ignore it,” you murmur. “I care about you, and I want to be there for you. Won’t you let me, ‘Taro?” you purse your lips, frowning. what did you have to do for him to just let you in? beyond the house, you just wanted him to let you in his heart.

he stares at you with a blank face, and you wonder if you’ll have to run past him and up to his room without his permission.

but then he relaxes his posture. “Okay.”

he says nothing more and grabs your wrist gently, tugging you inside. your face lights up as you move his grip on your wrist to your hand instead, intertwining your fingers. you watch him stare at your hands with an unreadable expression before he leads you upstairs.

“Have you eaten anything?”

he glances back at you, “Yeah, ‘Samu dropped some food over earlier. Why, you worried?” his lips tug into a faint smirk, but all you do is nod, serious.

“Of course I’m worried.”

and his face loses all its mirth.

upon reaching his room, he takes a seat on his bed. you cross your arms and stand off to the side, trying to think about what he needs; what he wants.

the silence in the room is almost daunting. you know he won’t tell you what’s wrong, but that didn’t mean you would simply leave. you’ll give him more time before he trusts you with his thoughts, even if it kills you inside not knowing much about the boy you were enamoured with.

and then you realize that the two of you would get nowhere today unless you took the initiative. it was slightly nerve-racking, but you’ve gotten so far with him; you can’t give up now.

he looks at you, “Why are you just standing there like a weirdo? Sit down at least.”

you take small steps and instead of sitting on the bed, you stand in front of him. you grab his face with two hands, caressing his cheeks with your thumbs. he blinks up at you with large eyes, before closing them and leaning into your palm. the silence is calming, and the occasional chirps from the birds outside is almost therapeutic to hear.

you need him to let you be there. but to do that, you want to know what it is he desires.

“Tell me, what do you need, Rintarou? What do you want?” you whisper.

you enjoy having him in your palms like this. he seems so fragile with you cradling him with care, and then your thoughts turn borderline violent when you think about whoever hurt him. you take a deep breath, remembering you were here for Rintarou. you could control your anger for now.

he stays silent, breathing softly. you lean down, tilting his head to the side and pressing a kiss to his temple. you pretend not to notice the way he melts into your grasp even more. “C’mon, hm? Tell me. I’ll give you anything.”

he opens his eyes, smiling sleepily, “Anything?”

you nod, “Anything.”

he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you even closer.

“What if all I want is you?”

you smile, endeared.

“Then you’ll have me.”

you smooth one hand down behind his head, threading your fingers in your hair as the other tilts his jaw up. you lean your head down once more, enjoying the close proximity. god, he was truly beautiful.

your eyes flutter shut and then,

you kiss him.

his lips are just as soft as you had anticipated, and he feels sweet and pliant in your hands. you tug gently on his hair, causing him to gasp quietly. you take the chance to slip in your tongue, kissing him with more fervor. he tilts his head and kisses you back, with just as much energy, as though he cannot get enough of you.

you don’t know how long you spend kissing, but you know you have to breathe at some point. you place a hand on his chest, pulling away. he leans in, almost chasing your lips but you push at his chest gently, smiling at the dejected pout you get in return.

you never thought you’d make the Suna Rintarou pout. but you’re happy to have seen the sight, because it is far too cute.

you ruffle his hair, “Wanna watch a movie on my laptop? I have Frozen 2 saved and downloaded.”

he nods, moving to rub his cheek into your stomach. “Mmhm. Sure. If that’s what you want.”

you pause, sighing and pushing him back as you crouch down. “Rinta, what did I say earlier?”

“…What did I want?”

you nod approvingly. “Exactly, so what do you want, Rintarou?”

“Just want you to stay. That’s all.” he looks calmer, and dare you say, happier. you wonder if you had anything to do with it.

you stand up, moving to grab your laptop before crawling in his bed. once seated and comfortable, you open your arms. “Come?”

he wastes no time and lays down beside you, head on your chest as his arm wraps around your waist. you lift your hand and run it through his hair, “Comfortable?”

you earn a soft nod in response.

you set up the movie, setting it off to the side as you continue playing with his hair. halfway through the film, you hear soft snores. and with a quick glance at his face, you see he’s asleep.

he looks different like this. more calm, innocent. and with his guard down, you know he trusts you enough that he allows himself to be in a vulnerable position like this. the thought almost makes you tear up.

you snap a quick picture and post it to your Close Friends list on Instagram before tossing your phone aside and watching the rest of the movie.

but of course, nothing in life would be easy. especially not winning the heart of Suna Rintarou.

a/n: sorry if this is short, but there is a reason why there is less dialogue! anyways enjoy the fluff before i bring in more angst🧌 and yes,, this chapter is inspired by the song I’ll See You There Tomorrow !

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[maaikeatthefullmoon]

This week I have mostly been reading...

Jun 3rd – 9th, 2024

Whoops, apologies everyone, I’m a bit late with what is now last week’s round up. Better late than never, right? Right.

Completed works I've read this week:

Oddity by @tsyvia48 Rated E - Actor C is contracted by (useless) Gabriel to guest curate an exhibition at the museum where A works. After getting off on the wrong foot, can they work together to pull off this show? This was in my WIP list and has now been completed *cries in a corner*

Garden of Delights series by @zehwulf Rated E – Rough Enough last week sent me on a little BDSM flavoured journey this week. This 10-part human AU series is *significantly* harder than Rough Enough, although A continues to have his soft Dom personality. I thoroughly enjoyed Crowley’s gender fluidity, as I identify as genderfluid myself. There are some very particular kinks in this series, and a SERIOUS CW for consensual non-consent (CNC) in multiple stories within this series. There is an underlying psychological growth within the series, though, which is interesting to unpick. Which, when I read this back, looks like me giving weird reasons for reading kinky smut. I give no excuses for reading kinky smut. I enjoy smut and certain types of kink. I also enjoy teasing out angst and psychological growth. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. But, erm, no chicken dinners in my smut, thanks. Not into that. But if you are, by all means…

A Tempting Night of Wine and Kisses by LemonTart Rated E – in-universe, but not canon-compliant, this is interestingly part 2 of a series, but the first kiss between A & C doesn’t happen until this second part – despite the first part also being very much E rated. This leads to this one-shot being much more tender and loving. Which was particularly soothing after 10 BDSM stories 😂 It was a bit like my own aftercare

love not given lightly by @hakunahistata Rated E – Hmmm, I’m starting to sense a pattern in last week’s reading…it all seems to be raaaather smutty. So apologies if that’s not your thing. *coughs* Anyway, blame Rough Enough, this is another Gentle/Soft Dom A fic. The story starts off with C snapping at A upon their very first meeting that he’s “fine”…coz, you know, that’s what all completely fine people say…

Ngk Ngk Ngk by ForFucksSakeJim Rated E – There is only one thing I can say about this one: Ngk.

The Beginning of the End (Again) by @addledmongoose Rated M – A Post GO2 fic with a brilliant plot idea. I really enjoyed it AND it’s written in the first person (alternating) POV. I’ve never read a fic in this POV and I can genuinely say I enjoyed it and I congratulate the author on making it work so well. There is a lot of humour in this story as well, which I enjoyed and, hey, look, it's not a smutty-smut one. Although it’s definitely not innocent. I loved the character of Duke Asmodeus as well. Highly recommend. 

WIPs which have updated this week (which I devour as soon as I get the update!)

There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out by @phoen1xr0se Rated M - A is a researcher (puffins!), C is a lighthouse keeper on the island where A has run away to to escape his problems and do his research. The author has recently spent a week studying puffins - which is the ultimate dedication, if you ask me. Ch 10/26 posted so far

Find The Light by @klikandtuna Rated E - Headmaster A and Rockstar C. The story teases out a fraught history between them whilst keeping a tension between them in the modern day. Ch 11/15 posted so far

Under The Summer Stars by @pannotbread Rated E - This wonderful fic has taught me more about physics than school ever did (mostly because I never did any physics, but...well). A & C have to share their time at an observatory because there is Only One Telescope. Not only will you learn about astrophysics, astrobiology, and astroecology, you'll also read some of the most poetically, beautifully written masturbation scenes I've ever seen. *ahem* Ch 8/13 posted so far

Poetry Carved In Flesh by @fellandcrow Rated E – Tattoo enthusiast A becomes a fan of tattooist C’s work, but doesn’t have any tattoos himself. C convinces him to get tattoos…but due to distance, A can’t get any work done by C. Until C comes to see him. This fic has GORGEOUS artwork, and speaks to my tattoo-obsessed soul. It’s an A-falls-first-C-falls-harder story, which is always fun. It also features ghostrat’s Nice and Accurate fandom. Ch 7/16 posted so far

Exodus_2 by @tismrot Rated E – Human AU set in a dystopian future. The summary says it best, really: Ezra studies programming at the University of ha-Gan. He’s as determined as he is damaged, as fastidious as he is precise, and likes to believe he'll stop at nothing to achieve his goals. His beliefs are challenged when a new student appears late to the first Ethics module lecture - and his life is changed forever. It's the future, it's dystopian, it's cyber and it's punk. It's political, grimy and slick with tears, lube and chemical snot. TW: Sex, drugs, trauma. Ch 30/35 posted so far

Free by well, me: imposterssyndrome Rated E - A & C meet (again?) in an acute mental health ward after both having had mental health crises. A runs a bookshop but is very much under his parents' control. C has been homeless since childhood and has struggled his entire life. They do not trust each other when they first meet, but feel strangely drawn to one another all the same. Where will this lead them? This is a passion piece for me. There is a lot of lived experience in it, and extensive research from both professionals and peers. It has been a real journey for me to write it, and as I'm coming closer to the end it's becoming very emotional for me. Ch 53/57 so far - on the home stretch now everyone!

Want to see more recs? This is last week's list.

[koolades-world]

Big S is in the house aka.dude who always writes way too long requests🗣️

Happy 2k followers and here is a request

"what're you doing out here at this hour?"

"you're so cute, it hurts"

"to me, you're perfect. i don't care what anyone else says"

With my one and only babyboy Asmodeus, Assmuah, Asmuadelisa, the best boy in universe and my husband i do not accept other opinions 🥰

So Asmo was gone for entire day for work, like majorish stuff where he was working at his new collection of makeup and modeling and other things, and something got him insecure, that new collection is not good enough, or is modeling is not perfect, like someone said that he is not natural enough in his poses or that the pigment of eyeshadow is not bright enough, overall bro stressed out and came late.

"what're you doing out here at this hour?" MC is like "bro ur ok? Where uve been, it's late"

And when he tells them they are like "you're so cute, it hurts to see you so stressed, i wish i could come with you to help you with that, but i can't bro im not a pro at that shi, want a therapy cuddle?"

And they cuddle while watching some Romantic Comedy that Asmo would love even tho MC doesn't really like them. and MC is like "to me, you're perfect. i don't care what anyone else says" and they muah muah and cute fluff of two cute patooties i love my husband give me some cuddle fluff my request making machine(/j)🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

thank you!! great to see you again :)

i just want to say i absolutely love the way you spun the you're so cute it hurts one??? that's so genius and i would've never thought to use it that way

enjoy <3

prompts 29, 32, and 37 w/ Asmo

“Mr. Asmodeus, ready to head home?” One of Asmo’s dedicated helpers from Majolish poked their head in the door of his studio.

“Are you closing up?” He looked up from the color wheel he was studying in comparison to the proposed and actual eye shadow pallet colors.

“I tried to get you twenty more minutes, but Ms. Ezos is about to fall asleep.” Ezos was the project manager who’d been working with him for his makeup line from Majolish. She’d been very helpful and sweet, and seemed just as invested in the production of the line as he was. The entire thing had been something of a struggle, and it felt like there was an obstacle around each corner. The latest issue was that the colors of his eyeshadow pallet weren’t what he imagined. They were supposed to be lots of different shades of pink with a couple other colors thrown in, but none of the pinks are what he’d imagined or proposed originally. To him, they all looked too similiar.

“It’s alright. What time is it?” He yawned and took a sip of his water in an attempt to wake himself back up.

“Just past midnight.” The helper checked their watch.

“I didn’t realize it was so late. I’ll pack up my things.” With a sigh, he gathered up all this things and packed them away. He grabbed his bag and with one last look at the test pallet, left the room. The helper locked it behind him. He knew he’d be back in that room sometime tomorrow.

“I think you did really great today.” They trailed after him.

“Thank you. It does need some work. I don’t think I’m happy with it yet.” He took some of the samples home with him to compare with items he owned to see if it actually wasn’t the color he wanted, or if he just needed rest. He left the studio without trying to look for Ezos or anyone else he’d worked with. They probably had went home already anyways. His assistant waved him off, promising to let everyone know he’d gone home.

Since Majolish wasn’t far from home, he walked to and from the studio. Most everything was closed, save for a couple shops. None of his favorites were open, so he had no excuse to stop and shop to lift his mood. When he got home, the house was silent. He made his way to his room to put this things down and get ready for bed. He went for a bath and changed into his pajamas. He sat and thought for a little bit before deciding to eat a little something before bed, as he couldn’t recall the last thing he ate.

He made his way downstairs, and purposely avoided looking at all the clocks on his way there. He opened the fridge to look for something to eat, and when he shut it, you were standing there. It scared him a little.

"So, what're you doing out here at this hour?" Mc was holding a bowl full of snacks, which they set down, implying they'd been in the kitchen in the entire time. He had totally missed them.

"Mc! I'm just a little hungry is all. I've been working on my new makeup line all day." His stomach growled at the thought of eating again.

"Asmo, it's almost two am. You left before I even woke up this morning. You need to treat yourself better. You're so cute, it hurts to see you like this." He couldn't meet your eyes, because you looked genuinely upset.

"I know I've been slacking more recently, but it's only because I'm putting everything into developing.

"You look worn down. I can't offer much, but if you want, we can cuddle and watch something of your choosing?" You opened your arms, much to his delight. He rushed in and enthusiastically hugged you.

"You're just delightful! Can we watch a romcom?" He knew you weren't the biggest fan of them, but you did say he could pick.

"Of course. Lert's get you some food, then we can do that. It's important to fuel your body." He was glad he had you. You let him know what the family ate for dinner, which he opted to eat. The two of you went back to his room, where you put on a romcom of his choosing. He leaned heavily into your side while he was eating, and once he finished, he made sure you properly cuddled him. You were only half watching the movie he'd put on. You were mostly looking at him. He looked more relaxed now.

"Asmo," you said.

"Hmm?" He looked up at you.

"I think you needed to hear this, but you can tell me otherwise. To me, you're perfect. I don't care what anyone else says." You gave him a forehead kiss. He didn't respond for once, but he gave you a cheek kiss back that conveyed all the emotions he couldn't put into words. That's all he needed to hear, especially from someone he loved.

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[witchwhaat]

not me joining chan's live just as someone commented smth like "hey i'm 25 and i still haven't found my path and it's kinda weighting me down sometimes" 👁👄👁

[fiddleabout]

didn't think it was possible to experience a more egregious level of Smart-Person Stupid than when dealing with doctors a work, but now. now. now, there are coders. god save me from smart people who couldn't find their ass without going around their elbow because i am about to kill a bitch.

[marsupials-of-mars]

.

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

the problem with dream having a tendency to over-blame himself for things is that it's really hard to ever tell him something wasn't his fault because he's existed since the dawn of time and he is a chronic bad decision maker so no matter the situation, if you go back far enough, it was probably his fault somehow

and that's all he's gonna focus on

[vaniliens]

I do wanna post about my ocs here a little. Other than reblogs. But i wanna change the whole story and everything so bad firstt