#LIKE JUST IMAGINE HER COMFORTING HIM AND STUFF ABOUT LIKE DYSPHORIA

[anthonysdemo]

little quick regulily sketch because it’s always “do you ship jily, jegulus or jegulily?” justice for regulily REAL

[enden-k]

remembering about trans!haitham headcanon, do you have any ideas you could share about it? (if that doesn't bother you) maybe about if his grandmother ever knew it, or if kaveh even knew alhaitham before the transition. maybe kaveh knows haitham's deadname? maybe kaveh actually helped haitham in his journey to affirm his gender? thinking about this makes me excited to do a fanfic about this AAAAAAAA-

ofc, i have quite a few (transhaitham just means a lot to me hhhsjdjk)

i like to imagine that his grandma knew and her love, care and support remained unchanged; all she wanted is for him to be content and comfortable, teaching him all that. she def helped him here and there; like seeing how he was bothered by his longer hair so she proposed to cut it short and seeing how his eyes lit up in his usual neutral face when he saw his reflection was prob one of her fav memories of little haitham. not only getting rid of the bothersome weight and heat of annoying hair but also seeing how he looked more boyish pleased him a lot (not that short hair = strictly masculine etc. you know what i mean there)

(dysphoria is not "required" or smth every trans person experience(d), saying this right away (and also as a note to anyone actually unaware of this) - he def didnt experience it, just felt sometimes a bit bothered by some stuff) he just simply knew who he is and wanted to find more comfort with himself by aligning his physical appearance more with his feeling and identity (by transitioning)

(idk if i explain it well in english what i want to say. also def projected there)

so, kaveh and haitham def knew each other in the early stages; when haithams grandma passed away, he attempted to cut his own hair (usually his grandma did) and it turned out cutely shaggy and sloppy (not that it bothered him much, as long as it doesnt look too awful to him) kaveh couldnt take it tho and in a quiet homoerotic charged moment took it on himself to do it right and save it. haitham already went by his name there but if someone knows of his deadname other than his grandma back then, its def only kaveh as his closest friend

years after their falling out, when they meet again in the tavern it nearly had kavehs eyes bulging out when he recognized the person seating down next to him as haitham - so much broader and bulkier than he used to be (back then he was already working out a little just to stay fit and healthy and gain more muscle, but still much slimmer in early stages of t. but now? def could snap kaveh in half and he wouldnt mind at all), his voice deep but still that same aggravatingly confident tone---

(i just love the image of kaveh always being so attracted to haitham and haitham alone, always loving him in every way, for being himself just like haitham loving him in every way, always and without a break despite their falling out)

this is turning more into me being sappy about them than transhaitham thoughts LMFAO SORRY anyway i think kaveh helped haitham a lot with things like cutting his hair properly short or picking clothes (mostly bc he liked dressing haitham since he deems his tastes as awful) or showing him how to shave when he first grew facial hair, all that kinda stuff

[chrliekclly]

if you ever want to talk about your thoughts on joyce .. Peeks over the corner of your blog. i love talking and hearing ppls thoughts on joyce sooo much even if they're different from my own!! and your analysis and stuff is always so well thought out

i hope u dont mind if i answer this publicly to take advantage of th request nd get my ideas out ther (also tyvm im happy u like my insane takes on these idiots, iv ben thinking abt them for almost 10 years)

i said a lot here so gnna 'read more' it

iv ben building trans charlie n my head fr, like i said, nearly 10 years. i used to view him as cis bcuz i always try to take as much frm th source material as i can wen i craft my HCs nd i had v personal (stupid) hangups insofar as him explicitly referring to his junk multiple times nd bottom surgery simply not being on my radar as a naive littl trans idiot deep in th sauce tht transmen oftn fall into w phallo being viewed so so poorly

evn still i leaned towards transmasc charlie nd always lovd moments tht let me imagine, for a moment, it being true, like his discomfort w taking off his shirt [hundred dollar baby, charlie kelly: king of the rats, the gang exploits the mortgage crisis, young charlie and mac deleted scenes, etc etc etc], or bonnie yelling abt ppl stealing her "charlie-girl" [the waitress is getting married] which i lovd to see as her accidentally misgendering him while drunk off her ass.

having grown out of my phallo issues (nd if ur reading this and u still view phallo super poorly, please do some research and grow too), ive in recent years fully subscribed to transmasc/nb charlie, and view his timeline something like this:

baby -> elementary: charlie refers to himself as a boy, doesnt "come out," simply has no idea he's afab. bonnie lets him dress however he wants and refers to him as asked. when charlie gets confused about his genitals, bonnie says his dick will grow in later lol, makes charlie wear a dress in public restrooms and tells him its just a game

middle: puberty hits and charlie gets confused and scared. bonnie puts him on blockers w.o explaining them ("my mom used to vaccinate me like every month" [the gang gets quarantined]) charlie goes on content and oblivious. STP acquired because hes "a late bloomer" and his dicks still not growing in?? weird. confides this in mac once, but he doesn't understand.

high: charlie finally registers that he's trans after forgetting theres a health class 1 day and not being able to skip it. throws him for a loop a bit but he becomes actively invested in his goals. he gets to start T and wants to have surgeries. "what guy hasnt done some extensive research on his own genitalia?" [mac is a serial killer]

college (aged): able to surgically transition (ty medicare) and continues on with life as we kno him now

joyce, imo, fits neatly into these views.

as a transmasc nb who came out young nd prefers to be seen as just A Guy by strangers, i grew up v vehemently against anything girly that might get me misgendered, but th more i began to 'pass,' th more @ home n my body i felt, th more and more comfortable i am w femininity, th more i wdnt mind putting on a dress, as long as th general public wd see me as "a man in women's clothes." n my mind, i prescribe something not exactly th same but v similar to charlie.

i see charlie "i dont really identify" kelly as afab and nb. i see joyce as a "character" he originally created to distance himself from the dysphoria of putting on a dress as a young trans boy, but that became part of him as the hard lines he drew in the sand as a child became blurry with age and self acceptance. charlie's comfort with himself allows joyce to evolve into a more solid persona, one he enjoys embodying and allowing to become a permanent facet of who he is. he's ok with being referred to as either. they're both him.

so maybe joyce comes out a bit more outside of the bathroom now.

[vanana-r0tat3]

some pre-game batim headcanons :>

Henry: - all he does is eat hot chip be bisexual and lie /j - has a preference for women so i think him realizing hes not straight is like hey wait a minute hey wait wait - joey was his gay awakening,,, real -gets burnout super easy, it probably frustrates him a lot when he cant draw - drawing is a big comfort for him - has pretty bad social anxiety, but has become pretty good at dealing with it!

Joey: - gay. this man is not into women at all sorry 💀 "i just dont have time for girls" yeah sure fruitcake - watch me project once again and give this man bpd. like im sorry his whole thing with henry?? im not even explaining it but if you get it you get it yea - also definitely has adhd - wheelchair user !! he is able to walk, but he still needs the wheelchair when flare ups get real bad. he is stubborn though and refuses to use it at work or when hes out of the house

more under the cut !!

Wally: - he has adhd, obviously - transgender !! i feel like hes a gnc binary trans man - hes straight to me, but his gf/wife is also trans >:D t4t win - i feel like he likes to gossip. the thought of him, norman, shawn, maybe even jack whispering to eachother in a corner about some random secrets theyve overheard is super funny to me

Sammy: - AUTISM... hes autistic - gets overwhelmed and overstimulated super easily, hence why hes always so irritable - yknow what im giving him bipolar. hes my comfort character and i get to project my mental illness !! - hes gay and demiromantic - honestly? transfem i see it. bc like im thinking about how he talks about susies singing like. i know what you are - bad with boundaries.. he is so bad at them and reading social cues - hates being touched, probably is only comfortable with jack for the most part - watch him crush on like half the men mentioned in this post at least once

Norman: - hes also autistic. his sense of humor is so??? 😭 - HES ALSO DEFINITELY AN OLDER GAY GUY. he just has that energy yknow like if you agree - probably would be agender too - him and sammy are that incompatible type of autism havers does this make sense?? like some autistic people i just cant stand because of my autism, our places on the spectrum make it so hard to like them yk? thats norman and sammy - this man definitely has insomnia

Susie: - lesbian. she doesnt know it yet but she is - her calling sammy handsome isnt her being attracted to him its just gender envy 😁 - shes just a feminine transmasc 👍 - rejection sensitive dysphoria out the ASS my poor girl - very insecure deep down, so she overcompensates for it by trying to be a people pleaser n stuff

Allison: - shes bisexual !! has a strong preference for women - shes a trans woman idc idc i love her - AUTISTIC AS HELL - i imagine she had a sibling like relationship with joey - probably one of the few people that could tell him off without like. getting fired lol

Buddy: - adhd and autism,, special intrest in art/drawing - AROACE. the stuff he says about his friendship with dot?? "i didnt know we could just be friends" and him not being too into his first assumption when she pulls him away to show him the bendyland model?? yea - honestly i think he has social anxiety hes doing his best - hes very sensitive over people bringing up him being jewish, he seems so ready to be made fun of or scorned for it :( - definitely some cultural detachment because of it (im projecting again) - i think dot would wanna learn about about it, buddy should teach her stuff!! like traditions and whatnot

Tom: - asexual 👍 - TRANSGENDER. probably would be nonbinary, heavily masc leaning though - he smokes a lot have you heard this man good lord. i dont think allison is a fan of it - anger issues,, mostly caused by stress and a lack of sleep, hes trying his best :( - he has arthritis. hes not old but god do his joints fee like it. he has crutches !! like joey though he only really uses em at home 💀

Jack: - wheelchair user jack my BELOVED idk where the hc came from but im all for it - he cant walk, but is able to get around just fine! watch him try and do wheelies to impress sammy only to almost fall over - 100% autistic as well. him and sammy are able to be autism together - unlabeled aromantic - hes such a loser /loving

Grant: - poor guy gets chronic headaches someone give him some painkillers - hes got generalized anxiety disorder this man cannot get a break - demisexual and demiromantic,, mans is double demi

Shawn: - adhdtism 😭 - LOVES to talk, he could go on for hours dude - i feel like he knows a lot of ridiculously obscure knowledge. for why? dont worry about it - he gives me genderfluid vibes - literally just some guy

[can-of-pringles]

For any of your OCs with romantic partners, tell me the exact moment each of them fell in love (whether or not they realized it at the time)

*cracks knuckles* /j Okay let's go

Marigold: It had to have been their second year of dating, one of the times when they were just having some time to themselves. Not doing much but definitely comfortable in just being in each other's presence. She thinks about how Peter brings peace and comfort to her life (which might be a surprise to some people) and it's all about how good relationships are when you're comfortable in the normalcy/mundane rather than the exciting times. I don't know if she realized at the time that she had fallen in love with him, but she knew for sure that she couldn't imagine spending her life with anyone else. She probably realized after a little bit when she had time to question it more.

Peter: Not that it was exactly the opposite, but during a mission that had gotten a little more dangerous than usual, they were both fine, but had to recover slightly. Peter realized that he wouldn't know what to do if something bad happened to Marigold, that he'd do anything for her, and that he had fallen in love with her quicker than he'd thought (ironic slightly? Lol) and the realization feelings grew more while they were both taking care of each other while recovering from the mission.

-

Rosie: I think maybe after one of their birthday parties and having a sleepover, they were sharing Rosie's bed and just cuddling. Rosie felt so comfortable and calm in Allison's arms and got the feeling that she never wanted to let go. I don't know if she recognized it as falling in love yet though. She had to sit with all the feelings for a bit until she was like "Is that what that is? Oh..."

Allison: It was actually when she was having a bad day, the dysphoria was being extra the worst™ and she broke down to Rosie about it, and even though Rosie couldn't really relate, she just held her and comforted her as she continued to cry, and she just tried consoling her and telling her sweet things, how much she cared for her and how she was the prettiest girl ever, etc. Allison felt a lot better afterward and realized how safe and loved Rosie made her feel. I think she realized then that she'd fallen in love with her.

-

Jelaa: Jelaa had developed a crush on Ahsoka while they were kids but just decided to bury it deep down and ignore it. It wouldn't have ended well while they were both Jedi. But the thing was the feelings didn't go away, and they actually grew stronger. While Jelaa was hiding for survival, during a particularly rough day she realized how much she missed Ahsoka and started crying, wondering if she had survived the purge. I think the missing and longing was when it happened, but once they were finally able to reunite and stay together, she finally realized oh this is like strong long-lasting in love feelings.

Ahsoka: She used to struggle with all the feelings as a kid/early teen, but there's not really time to focus on that while you're fighting for your life and stuff. I think especially after what happened with her leaving, Jelaa leaving too, and even what had happened to Barriss (who she also used to be close to) Ahsoka kinda just 'turned off' a lot of the grief and complicated feelings for a while. Once she had been able to grow up more and mostly get to more stable living (ish) and found Jelaa, she allowed more of the feelings back in and realized they made her stronger. She and Jelaa were still mainly hiding out together, but it's hard to ignore the romantic feelings while they're so close (physically and emotionally) and she realized after a while that she loved her.

-

Arith: Okay so listen, pretty much from the beginning, he had been amused by Iriel, maybe a little infatuated, but that didn't develop into a crush and then love until a little bit later. It was probably during one of their routine 'let's drink together and chat' nights. And of course, they had gotten closer unknowingly and it was also just sort of a deep-thinking kind of night, so it really wasn't that hard for Arith to realize how much he'd fallen in love with her. Imagine him looking at her for a second while she's talking passionately about something and then feeling his heart beating quicker before he glances down and takes a drink. He can deal with the feelings tomorrow.

Iriel: It took her longer to realize. Pretty much she'd been like "Yeah Arith and I are friends" (which you should've seen how she processed that ha) but then he just kept constantly flooding her thoughts, and at first she thought it was totally normal, but then she kept thinking about how nice he looked and how his eyes shined in the light and how pretty his laughter sounded and- and so she was slowly coming to the realization that friends don't usually think like this or especially at this amount, and it was confirmed for her that she loved him when she was taking care of him after another 'kinda usual but not really' "punishment" from work. He had said something like "you could at least let me make you coffee or something, I feel bad just laying here" and she was like "it's okay, there will be time for that in the future, I don't mind. we take care of each other plenty" and right there was when she realized how much she was willing to do for him and vice versa and how she'd fallen in love with him.

-

Kaia: It was probably while they were out on a date (like after a while of dating) they had gone to Paris for a little bit and were mostly just out and walking around, admiring some of the views (and each other ;)) and they were holding hands. And Odel said something like "we should come back here again sometime..." and Kaia's thoughts were like "for our honeymoon" and then she realized and started blushing. Odel asks if she's ok and she blames it on the cold weather. And Odel suggests they go someplace warmer then and she nods and wraps her arm around her waist and kisses her cheek.

Odel: She realized during late at night, while she had decided to stay over at Kaia's place (like a sleepover let me clarify) and I think recently she had been having a lot more conflicted thoughts about being with Kaia, more just about dealing with her feelings about betraying Heaven. She had woken up during the night from a dream about it and just watched Kaia sleeping peacefully next to her. Watching her calmed her down enough to start falling back asleep. There hadn't been peace and calm while she was still with Heaven. But she had it with Kaia. That's when she knew she loved her and that she was always going to be worth more to her than Heaven. She started to stop caring about Heaven after that and focus on her love for Kaia.

-

Silas: It was after Copia confessed and had basically broken down about everything that had happened (with Sister and what happened to the other Papas) and how Copia felt so hopeless about it and conflicted. Silas just focused on just comforting him and calming him enough to stop the tears for a while. Because despite learning about the terrible stuff happening in the Ministry, he knew it wasn't Copia's fault, and he felt more protective over him since he realized how much of a threat Sister was to him. He realized that despite everything they had grown so close and cared about each other. And then after that, then he realized he had fallen in love. And then the internal conflicting angst started /j

Copia: It was actually around the same time. One of his biggest fears had been how Silas would react to the truth but to his surprise he reacted better than he'd thought, and then after that he realized they were pretty much always going to stick together no matter what and be there for each other. Then he realized his feelings for him.

-

Dannie: They realized they loved Murphy after a while of dating. Even after their ups and downs, they still wanted to be there for her and that's when they realized.

Murphy: It's a similar story but it was after she had a particularly bad day. Murphy really struggles with being vulnerable and showing her true feelings, so when she lets her walls down and is really honest with Dannie, she's scared of rejection. But Dannie obviously doesn't leave her after seeing her on a 'rough day' and so Murphy starts feeling more comfortable with them and then realizes she loves them.

That took a while 😅

[misspickman]

moss might i please have some trans tim headcanons. or trans kon if you’re feeling it.

Hii blink thank you blink i always have those<3

Kon is nonbinary and transfem to me and i do have a more specific way this happens in mind which is he starts questioning his gender after already figuring out hes not straight, and this is a few years down the line post sb 2011, so hes getting comfortable living on the farm and having a group of friends there, being a part of the kent family (hes never had a family before!!) and its because of that new personal comfort and safety that he can think more about himself as a person and not just. An icon with a role.

I read his tt03 era as his big Repression Period (along with cassie) where he figures he has to be a Normal Real Boy so he ditches the 90s superboy charm for a more traditionally masculine look, which maybe works for his secret identity but isnt what he actually enjoys. So later he starts growing out his hair and tiptoes around more flashy costumes which are daunting now, because kon has a lot of hate for his younger self for being foolish and a try hard, and this all reminds him of himself back then.

Its a slow process but he will get there eventually and i think living with ma helps a lot. Being away from the public eye and with someone who wouldn't judge him for not wanting to look as masculine would do kon wonders. Also he hangs out a lot with the yj girls, and i imagine cissie would eventually she starts putting makeup on him for funsies (and bc cassie doesnt let her) which kon has many feelings about. No worries! Anita braids his hair like she did cissies so many times and kon goes haha does this mean im one of the girls now as a joke and then has many feelings about that too bc what if he Wants to be one of the girls? Uh oh

I have less of a specific timeline for tim so some scattered ones are:

It would take her a long time to make peace with being trans and to come out, bc imo tim would not be a fan of the Coming Out Process. Would hate to do it. Would only do it once its the last feasible option bc shes sick of lying (again) and being seen so wrongly by everyone. I think she just writes cassie a note or something like it would be funny.

Jack having been so obsessed with tim being his perfect masculine son would make all of this especially hard but also make certain stuff make more sense in retrospect. Its impossible to think about tim being queer in any way without thinking back on jacks behavior.

Theres a v sweet image in my head of helena braiding tims hair bc once she lets it grow out tim does not know what to do with it and helena has to do something about that (set in a future where helena knows tims identity. The cowl doesn't really show hair. But boy it must be sweaty gross in there).

While i think kon would be big into makeup and all sorts of fun clothes and shoes i dont imagine tim being That much into it, is not as much of a makeup girlie, loves a nice dress but mostly for occasions and such.

One of the reasons why itd take her so long to figure herself out is she mostly didnt get body dysphoria until she thought of the possibility of Not Being A Man and then started noticing little things that bothered her, bc tim would be very aware of which traditional standards for being a woman she is not fulfilling. Very aware of and held back by the Issue Of Bodies And How They Are Perceived, as you do.

The initial realization would probably be something sudden that she refuses to think about for a while bc tim v much lives by that post thats like i may be trans but i have a job so idc about that rn. Its in the back of her mind and she is Not examining it when there are bad guys to punch out there.

[iammissingautumn]

Re: ur tags

I DO know you. Now tell me ur genderfluid Stan thoughts 🔫

wtf. okay so bc he has Randy as a father and his grandfather is like that Stan and his gender identity is something that he has to deal with through highschool and college.

In some ways I like to think that he would make some online queer friends probably into bands or smth and he would start off in a very Gerard Way excuse of he wants to fuck with gender conformity so he asks those ppl to use she/her pronouns or smth like that. 

I like to imagine he uses music to become comfortable with going against the norm when in reality it’s just an excuse to do smth that makes him feel rlly good. As well as becoming more comfortable showing affection as he gets older.

His dad being such a terrible person and having a bad impact on his life there comes a time when he decides to just reject him fully even though he can do good. because randy stands for such terrible things.

So a genderfluid Stan i feel like comes about in a way where he can excuse it. I think he’s repressed no matter how you look at him and especially given the chance to express himself differently he would take it. Especially if it’s in this social justice esq idea.

So I think like, he would start experimenting look wise mid high school, maybe going to some concerts making going out alone.

I like the idea he gets himself a skirt and just wears it in his room while he’s under a blanket watching a movie or something. so if someone comes in it’s not that big of a deal and they don’t see it, but for him it’s everything

gender euphoria moments

I think if he leaned more into the punk scene he could end up being more comfortable doing stuff in the name of normalization and not being a coward. But it’s all just gender expression to him.

I imagine perhaps he engages in some conversation about gender expression and someone calls him trans and he doesn’t disagree. But later a friend could ask him about it and tell him he’s really genderfluid core and he would kinda perk his ears up and look at that.

It would probably be awhile before he stuck the identity to himself, probably watching it from across the room. I think he gets a lot of gender euphoria out of being amab and presenting amab but having more feminine expression. Wearing some dramatic make up, a dress, a skirt. Even just regular woman’s clothes tbh.

I think he would quietly come out to Kyle in college. Say that he feels comfortable in that area of things and has feelings of dysphoria and euphoria that he thought was normal but others seem to disagree.

(For your agender take, i imagine kyle looking at Stan describing his experience and how he describes how other ppl have said they don’t experience gender like that and Kyle’s like. lol i don’t relate to anything said here. kinda funny. and thinks he’s normal)

yeah i mean i think king term he would express pretty queerly. I like the idea of punkness being directly connected to his gender expression and he isn’t confident enough to let them live together and on their own within him till college where there’s less eyes on him.

[michaels-office-hours]

So… I recently found a streamer called F1nnster? And that guy is making me think way too much about things.

(I wouldn’t be tying him into this post if it weren’t for the fact he’s funny and I think needs more recognition.)

Gonna put under the cut cause man alive this is a long rant and I’m gonna be rambling.

Keep scrolling! Enjoy your day! Go get some hot coco! Hope you know you’re loved.🫰🏻

Ok. Now onto my existential crisis.

So… he started by cross dressing as a joke. Small at first. Then it became “girl month”. Then it be a,e people paying him donos to meet the goal to keep girlmonth going. Then it became all the time. Then it became him quietly taking HRT. And now he’s out as Gender-fluid (I’m still using he/him cause he said he still feels like majority “boy” which I feel that man)

How does this tie into me? Well……

Jewels in the latter half of 2022 started wearing more button up shirts, and jeans and belts. Kinda business casual… but also really masc. and a lot of hoodies. I’ll admit? That was me XD. She didn’t know about us at that point, so Olivia and I were getting a bit desperate to get her attention. She’d literally go from full on dress and cutesie, to hoodie and looking masc one second later. It was hilarious.

Me and Olivia still do that between ourselves.

I’ve been host for a while now… and the way I dress really shows it. I have short hair, Jewels used to have it down to her waste. Haven’t had that for nearly two years. I legit have MatPat hair most of the time! lol.

People will walk up and say sir if I keep my mouth shut. My voice is pretty much the only thing that gives it away.

Which is why F1nnster and all makes me think too much.

Since I’ve been online, I see the trans community, and it itches my brain. I’m not a man. I’m just a guy. I got over the manly man thing before I joined the system XD. But… I do get body dysphoria. I freak out at the sound of my own voice, because it really is a woman’s, no mistaking that no matter what I try.

But… this body also isn’t mine. Or… if you wanna get specific? It’s not only mine.

I share it. With both Olivia and Jewels. Both of which are fem presenting, or VERY feminine.

Jewels has issues with her voice because of bullying… but doesn’t want to change it that much, or her body.

Olivia’s voice is Jewels’ but pitched up even higher, and with a more feminine flair. And she sometimes gets a bit of dysphoria the other direction, because we aren’t the most curvy or conventionally pretty girl… (I beg to differ. And in fact most people rave about how we’re gorgeous if Olivia picks the outfit… soooo. With the long hair people thought we were a celebrity or something.)

In both cases? I’d rather die than take something from either of them.

Because of messed up alter stuff? I know what it’s like to have someone else running you like a puppet, and you have no control over your own body. I hate that I’m even host sometimes, robbing Jewels of her own body, I couldn’t imagine trying to make it more comfortable just because I’m a little uncomfortable.

And I’ve heard voices on T? They aren’t really what I want. I want the extra deep, smooth, voice. … I doubt I could get that from the starting point I have. And I would hate to never hear Olivia’s voice again… that’s some of the reason I’m still here… cause she said one thing. I couldn’t do that.

Btw. This isn’t an anti trans post in the slightest.

It’s more of a … “y’all make it look so nice, I wish I could. But it’d mean giving up things that means so much to people really close to me so I can’t. I’m so interested in it. But man it makes brain itch in weird ways I don’t need to think about”

I hope y’all can live your dreams. I- can’t. Heh.

Am I screaming into the void in a vague attempt that someone will tell me I can have my cake and eat it too? No nooooo not at all/sarcasm drools on the floor in a desperate attempt to sound normal

I love my fellow headmates too much to make them give something up for my two second, three years, or even life of glory. Cause either won’t be host all the time. Things change. And I know how much this hurts. I’d rather take that pain forever than ever give it to my girls.

Ok so I’ve been rambling a while. Gonna shut up and actually get something to eat and stop beating myself up and daydreaming about the impossible now XD

[icharchivist]

aah that's fair that's fair! I'm glad you're feeling comfortable enough sharing it here though <3

I'm posting it like this so i can post the actual fic under a read more (else it'll be impossible to scroll by ahah) but thank you!!!

so i'm going through it and, indeed there's a few things that have been disproven since then, but there's no point in pointing them out as you're more than aware of those ahah. Yet it's really pretty nice! i do really get in the end this feeling of Lucilius trying to explain calmly and seriously his situation but somehow not realizing when he gets emotional on the side. I really like it.

and the line "Of course, they are both bastards, so that didn't work out." cracked me up really bad. And so did the line about Belial's sense of humor.

and that ending is actually perfect imo. The build up to Lucilius' anguish for this gutpunch by the end is just muah it's great. thank you for sharing it with us!!!! truly appreciating it, and i'm sure others will too ;D thank you!

[Onward is the fanfic Anon wrote]

So, we know that Lucilius and Beelzebub are clones of the Speakers, Sahar/Lucio and Shalem, made for the Astral World. For whatever reason, really. Probably has something to do with God splitting in two and one half going to the Astral World and one half staying in the Sky Realm. The why isn't that important, tbh, they're basically gods, they can do whatever the fuck they please.

But I imagine Lucio went "I don't want to burden my clone with all this power and responsibility that I hold. I want them to be able to live freely and find their own path in life. Not that predestined stuff". Shalem agreed and thusly nerfed her clone as well. That was the beginning of the end.

Because the Astral God was the creator half of Bahamut, their world is unchanging. Almost frozen in time. Astrals themselves pride themselves on not being subject to change, like those whimsical Skydwellers. So they lead long, long lives and remain static throughout. I still choose to believe that they start out as babies, because they look anatomically human and can canonically interbreed with humans. But mainly so we can picture baby Lucilius. Arguably the only one of the three to have ever been a baby. Lucifer popped into existence fully-grown and Lucio uh. Probably did, too. Admittedly, the idea of Bahamut raising two babies is adorable, but I'm getting sidetracked again.

So Lucilius and Beelzebub appeared as babies in the Astral world, cute and innocent. They were given to foster families and raised there. For bonus points, Beelzebub's family was slightly higher class, allowing him an easier start at life and to rise through the ranks in the Astral military more easily. Well, that, and because man's a walking wall of meat.

But growing up, Lucilius was haunted. Haunted by dreams of himself, with long, flowing hair, six feathered wings, cosmic powers at the tips of his fingers. But every time he saw himself in the mirror, all that looked back with bloodshot eyes was a scrawny little nobody. Short and weak. No wings, no powers to speak of and when he tried growing out his hair, it just looked weird. He was suffering almost some kind of dysphoria. Not to mention, Lucilius was defective. He required sustenance, needed to eat, which is unusual for Astrals. He was definitely picked on for this. Some mused that he was a Skydweller pedigree or that something was wrong with him. He definitely shoved a pencil up his head bully's nose for that.

That his parents weren't his birth parents wasn't a secret, anyone with working eyes could see as much, so they didn't bother hiding it from him. If nothing else, he appreciated the honesty. As Lucilius grew, he was less interested in figuring out his parentage and more how to bridge the gap between the him that he was and the radiant being he kept seeing in his dreams, but that he simply failed to grow into, no matter how much time had passed. He threw himself into his studies.

Beelzebub suffered similar dysphoria growing up, but it kind of mixed in with his actual dysphoria, so it was a bit less jarring. Let's assume that the Astrals aren't terribly transphobic and Bubs managed to transition in relative peace. With his refitted body, he was less haunted by the image of Shalem. He was himself now, Beelzebub. No comparisons necessary. The only thing he craved was ever more power.

Lucilius looked into evolution, in hopes of finding the fingerprints of God all over His creation. He wasn't terribly impressed by what he found.

When the Astrals invaded the Sky Realm, Lucilius wasn't initially terribly interested (Bubs on the other hand was all over that shit, waging wars on those poor Skydwellers in search of a challenge), but finally followed the siren song of his visions of Sahar. Perhaps this Realm held the answers to what he was looking for, after all.

He was a mere little research assistant, nobody paid him much heed, but that also meant that he was able to work in peace. After looking over the creatures inhabiting this fragile world, beings without the Power of Creation his people had been bestowed, creatures who would die, he became less impressed with the Omnipotent. Primal cores were something he fell into ass backwards, they were either an unintended side effect of an experiment of his, or something other Astrals had created, but didn't pay much attention to, since they didn't see the use.

Lucilius however decided to start researching those curious cores instead. He discovered that by inserting them into living beings, he could increase their strength and longevity. Assuming they survived the process, anyway. The rats usually did not, but larger creatures, such as dogs and cattle, had less issue incorporating the cores into their bodies. But still, perfect integration of tissue and core was difficult to achieve. Experiments with infant animals bore little fruit, as again, their bodies were too small. Thus, the idea of creating being with bodies specifically suited was born. In fact, if they were able to integrate cores perfectly, if they could utilize that power, perhaps he could recreate this figure that was always haunting him.

Lucilius got to work on creating the first primal beasts.

It took years and a lot of effort. Many crushed cores, many broken bodies, created with technology similar to the one that had helped Beelzebub transition to a form he found more suitable.

Lucilius' place was covered in bodies that all bore a more than uncanny resemblance to him, trying different combinations of different factors, but unwilling to budge on the amount of power that he wanted the core of his creation to hold. It had to be perfect. Most bodies, even if technically flawless, could not handle that amount of power. Lucilius had seen people bearing his face die more often than anyone reasonably should. It didn't even bother him anymore.

So consumed by his work was he, the council was beginning to think he'd gone mad. They sent Beelzebub to check on him, which was how those two idiots first met. To Lucilius' surprise, Beelzebub wasn't the big oaf he'd expected. In fact, he seemed very into the research he was doing with those cores, the goals he planned to achieve. Not to mention, a strange, almost familiar feeling of being near him. Like they were somehow meant to be friends and companions.

Of course, they are both bastards, so that didn't work out.

The finally, the day came where Lucilius' experiments were a success. Not just once, but twice, even.

The perfect clone, handsome, tall, white-winged and powerful, opened his sky blue eyes and Lucilius thought he was going to die. It was everything he ever wanted and more. He had created life, made right what had gone wrong with him. Truly, he was a god now and considering the power and beauty and immortality of what he had created, he was better than the old god had ever been. Perhaps he was a little bit mad after all.

And so absorbed was he in his triumph that it took him a few moments to recognize that the other one was starting to stir as well. The control group, so to speak, based on a different principle, created from a different mold. Really, more of an experiment of how far he could deviate from the formula and still succeed. He hadn't expected it to make it this far, much less for it to open its blood red eyes and look at him.

But, two was better than one, he figured, so instead of tossing the unwanted second one out, he named them Lucifer and Belial and presented them to the council, his head held high.

It felt good to see those self-righteous idiots overcome by awe for his genius. They appointed him their new head researcher and for a while, all was right with the world.

He ran that lab in Canaan and was free to do as he pleased. More research on primal cores had to be conducted, but also tests on the two creations that he had.

They were happy to play along. In between testing everything from their reflexes to their thought processes though, Lucilius found himself growing fond of them. Lucifer, of course, was his crowning achievement, but even Belial was still his work. The three of them spent a lot of time together, actually. It was a bit of a "we vs the rest of the world"-feeling that drove Lucilius, since he'd known them longer than all those phoney research assistants, who were either out to waste his time or steal his work. To Lucifer and Belial, he was, well, their creator. Almost like a father figure. They only really had him and each other, since they were the only ones of their kind and the only ones they could relate to. Belial and Lucifer were close then, like brothers. Despite his poor patience, Lucilius did his best to train them in combat, teach them about the world. It helped that they were both intelligent and quick learners. Every time they did something right, his expression brightened, because they surpassed his expectations and filled him with pride. Especially Belial seemed to really like it when Lucilius smiled, because he tried harder and harder to surpass his expectations. To surpass Lucifer. Despite being designed to be weaker than the other, because Lucifer had to be the strongest and most powerful, obviously, Belial pushed himself to keep up with him. All for Lucilius. Back then, even if he noticed, he didn't much care for the why. Only that the results made him look better.

But even the good times couldn't last forever and once the council determined that they knew enough about those existing primals, they wanted more. Hand the unwanted tasks of overseeing the Sky Realm off to them, leave the Astrals more time to do Astral things. So Lucifer was given a fancy new role and title, and Belial, as his adjutant. The two's relationship was never the same. The happy family time was over. But Lucifer would spend his entire life thinking back to those days, yearning for them.

Unfortunately, it turned out that mass producing more primals, angels to bolster the ranks and fulfill all sorts of purposes, didn't make Lucilius happy. With time, he grew bitter and paranoid. So he was a god now, a creator of powerful beings, but he still had to kowtow to the whims of the council and their dumb ideas. They were idiots.

And while he took pride in Lucifer, that still didn't solve the problem of himself being defective and weak. He still needed to eat and while at least no one would dare mock him for it anymore, it irritated him beyond reason. What was the point to being a creator of perfect beings if you yourself are still so woefully flawed?

That's when it occurred to him that perhaps it would be best if all should come to an end.

He embezzled funds for his research and used cores that hadn't survived previous experiments, mushed them all together and finally created Avatar, the beast that could shake the world to its core. Surely if there were a God, He would have to stop him now, right? And the second He showed His face, Lucilius would be able to take a good look at it and tell Him how much He sucked. How awful He was for creating all these flawed beings and leaving them to fend for themselves in this imperfect world.

Truly, deep down Lucilius was just a petulant child, acting out because he wanted attention from his parents. But his parents were God and God had left this world. So his tantrums were left unanswered. Lucilius grew more and more frustrated with time.

His adjustant caught wind of his plans and threatened to inform the council. He tried to blackmail Lucilius - him, who had given life to gods. It was in his darkest hour that he remembered his other darkest creation and sicced Belial on the poor fool. The primal was beyond happy to be of use to his master. He also had no issues with murder. Quite the opposite. Lucilius remembered that if nobody else, he could trust his creations. They wouldn't betray him. Well, Lucifer, as appointed steward of evolution, might grow beyond his purpose and turn on him yet, but he had Belial. Belial, who wasn't meant to change. A perfect, immutable being with perfect, immutable loyalty.

So Belial was transferred from working under Lucifer to working under Lucilius. Lucifer was sad to see him go, but Belial had never been more ecstatic in his life.

Together they furthered the research into Avatar, spending many a sleepless night slaving over their work. If a primal caught wind of what they were doing, Lucilius had ways of making them disappear and incorporating their cores into his newest creation. He turned a blind eye to Beelzebub helping himself to primal cores that were as of yet unused, if only to see how that would turn out. Who was he to turn away a willing test subject?

As a contigency plan, Belial's tolerance to the Avatar core was increased. This included fitting him with new wings. Gone were the fluffy purple feathers, replaced by the same bat-like wings Avatar bore. Besides, they allowed him to glide soundlessly through the night. The process must have been excruciatingly painful, seeing how an angel's powers are stored within their wings, but Belial never complained.

The council decided that the Supreme Primarch should have a replacement, a precaution, if nothing else. And while Lucilius was offended at the notion that his perfect creation could ever be killed, by this point, creating primals was easy. Lucifer found out about this and begged and pleaded to be a part of the creation process, so Lucilius left the design process to him. When Sandalphon came into this world, Lucilius wasn't impressed. The dark hair and red eyes on the primal he could understand. It was quite obvious that Lucifer was nostalgic for the days when it had just been the three of them, or even just working so closely with the being who had shared his cradle. But seeing Sandalphon's short stature reminded Lucilius of his own shortcomings. Perhaps it was out of spite then that he refused to tell Sandalphon his purpose, to make him a target for the mockery of his peers, have his own insecurities gnaw at him. Like the God he despised, Lucilius had bestowed his own fate upon his creation. But while Lucilius had been allowed to rise above his station, Sandalphon was to stay in a garden, safely tucked away, always waiting for Lucifer to have time to spare to spend with him.

Another not-so ideal creation was Sariel, the Archangel of Execution, prepared for the purpose of cleaning up messes. He turned out far too sensitive for the task and attempts at lowering his emotional responses through limiters only hampered his intelligence instead. Like all his failures, looking at Sariel made Lucilius sick to his stomach. It was Belial who saved his fellow primal from either the incinerator or joining the ever-growing horror that was Avatar, suggesting that Sariel's naivety made him a useful pawn.

Things were going well for a while then. The council was far too occupied with their decadence to pay attention to what was going on right under their noses. Beelzebub was too blinded by his hatred for the primals in general and Lucifer especially to pay attention to anything. What a shame. Lucilius had had such high hopes for him.

Belial recruited more and more primals for him, those who were struck with ennui at the prospect of spending their immortal lives in servitude, or those who were still loyal to their creator. Though, he also flat-out lied to a bunch to get them to join him. And even Belial didn't fully know that he was leading this congregation to their slaughter like a flock of lambs. It didn't matter to Lucilius. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing but ending this hellish, imperfect life.

They called themselves the fallen angels, because Belial had developed a weird sense of humor Lucilius didn't remember programming him with.

Finally, the day arrived. The promised day, one that would put an end to all of creation. His fallen angels attacked the Astral and Primal forces. It was a massacre. People dropped dead left and right. Their blood covered what felt like all of Canaan, painted the buildings, the sky itself. It didn't matter. Everything was going to end here.

Lucilius had hoped for death for the longest time, at least somewhere deep down, but he hadn't expected to meet it at the hands of his perfect creation. And even in the face of total annihilation, Lucifer looked conflicted to have to slay his creator, his father, the man who had given him life and purpose. When his head was severed from his neck, Lucilius couldn't help but smile. Perhaps Lucifer wasn't as perfect as he had always thought. But at least he was still powerful and radiant. Just as Lucilius never could be.

He died that day and it was fine. It may have even been a relief. Lucilius was saved. Finally at peace.

Until he opened his eyes again, 2000 years later.

[bayleaf-2]

Hi so I didn't make any coding progress today, hence why I didn't post anything, but I did draw all day! Lotta info incoming so here! Here goes! I already did transcripts and stuff for a friend who has some but not all context and I'm. Very very tired so sorry gang but I'm not adding additional context. Also some of the tone might seem weird, cause again, directly to friend and not tumblr

That being said, big thing first! Started some design mockups for Arc 5, character notes included. Got damn the compression on this is bad sorry gang.

The first one is how Lyra looks literally the day after the campaign ends! That design's title is "The worst of it" because I don't know for sure how long that'll last, for multiple reasons (How long Lisp can fuck with Ioun's ritual until the library notices, how long Lyra's in this state of "make it to the next day" grief, etc) but I do know that this is their lowest point, so it feels best to label it as such if I don't have another reference point to label with, at least for the time being. The bullet points are as follows:

Feels dysphoric (outfit helps)

Now that they're not rushing through everything and actually have time to think about how they feel and also don't have to wear high tier armor all the time, Lyra realizes that she's not…actually happy being in such boxy clothes, among other things. I hesitate to go into any more detail cause I don't wanna trigger anyone else's dysphoria, but they change into a looser, more fem outfit. I'm realizing now that the silhouette still looks similar because I'm not as good with drawing clothes, but imagine it's like. Flowy and soft rather than boxy and thick. (Yes this is bc I wanted to give her a design changed but I also realized they'd want the same thing, it's been like. months)

"One day at a time"

Kind of explained before, but I'll elaborate a bit more just cause: They lost their entire family. They lost like 3 out of 4 of the people most important to them. He's almost 300, so he's probably lost someone before, but not like this. Not because of something so world changing, not with the world itself almost waiting for her to get over it so she can help fix everything (or at least that's how she feels.)

Feels bad seeking comfort from or being comforted by the library

The library is something that's connected very strongly to Ioun! He feels like Khunoth and Emily would be furious at him for that, Emily especially. Now does Lyra need to talk to someone? Absolutely. Is he gonna feel any less guilty? Not really.

2nd mockup: Titled "approximately winter" because iirc the campaign started at like…the tail end of summer, and it's been about 3 months (2 months of travel time and 1 month of Actual Shit happening) but don't quote me on the exact timing. Hence the approximately. It could be the beginning of winter, or the end. I also wanted to encompass the whole season to leave wiggle room time-wise for the emotional recovery aspect.

Dysphoria gone! Yay! A combination of them feeling better emotionally and the thing that was causing it being gone. She's more confident again, yippee!

Quest full-time? Maaaybe by this point, he's spending most of his time outside the library going on Kate's quest and looking for the book. Again, it's a timing thing. I imagine once they're in a good enough state for it, they go like. Full detective on it and have a notebook dedicated to their findings and stuff. Additionally, if this is the case, they probably go by Elion at this point! For the record, if any of her family members were still around, she'd probably prefer that they call her Lyra.

Old party members find her Speaking of which! If any of the people from Elion's other parties were to find him, they would've found him by this point, most likely. It's been a while since the godslaying ended and the funeral's happened so word's gotten out about who was involved. Now, based on my memory (but the last time we got recognized was a while ago) people knew the names of the godslayers, but not the faces. There are people who've been tracking the party, but that's a small group, I think. So Elion's party members miiiight not know she's a godslayer unless she tells them? Again, questionable how much the general public knows, and we've been getting adventuring parties sent after us so. It could go either way.

Sorry if this is like. Unfollowable without context, I might fix it in the morning. I also will say, the reason old party members is getting brought up at all is because a friend wanted to hug Lyra after hearing what happened to them and I said ":v she- she's been in other parties, you could have one of your characters know her iyw-" and they said yes, so I'm trying to think about it now, just for funsies XP

There's more art, but with how long this post already is I'm just gonna post em separately.

[ponderousorb]

More ramblings re: the Dexter Friends Extended Universe

word vomit below the cut, cw: depression and dysphoria mentions, also weed mention but very briefly Mainly to do with Mandark, Surfer Boy, Dee Dee and her friends

So in this universe, which I would say is pretty much my own bubble universe and nothing I would expect as canon, especially since the Powerpuff girls are just There, I've been thinking about how the timeline goes. One of the themes I'm interested in is the idea that people can change and evolve, especially from childhood, and Dexter learning slowly to make his thinking less black-and-white. (He has a real problem in the show thinking in binaries/opposites like "girl things" vs "boy things" and good vs evil even in situations where it doesn't really apply. Very typical kid thing to do and, doubly so with the heavy autism-coding let's be real. Anyways, my bubble universe subscribes to the Trans Mandark theory because we love Applicability in Storytelling, even if accidental. I'm now currently debating when Mandark and Taylor met back up, because Mandark pretty understandably avoided the beach through puberty bc it's a dysphoria nightmare, but I don't think he'd be very comfortable explaining that to people.

So I'd imagine Mandark avoided him, not knowing how to handle stuff and feeling deeply embarrassed and awkward, and the fact they go to different schools would make this easier. I'm debating whether they stay in contact via text/skype as was the style at the time, I'm thinking yes, but Mandark does not want to meet up in person because he has horrendous self-esteem at this point, you know - being 15 and all that - and doesn't want to be perceived by this very cool person that gives him confusing feelings. Taylor remains kind of hung up on this boy that gave *him* funny feelings and Marie teases him about his 'imaginary boyfriend' they've never met.

I am thinking Goo's parents and Mandark's parents probably are aquaintences because they seem to be part of the same very hippy-dippy crowd (Goo's parents being less intense and giving her more actual free expression, but not realizing she's lonely), so she probably knows Mandark through that and likely getting put in a Gifted Class or two together in High School. (It's the 2000's so I can't imagine Goo gets diagnosed as ND even though she clearly is, lmao) Dee Dee would also probably be friends with Nazz as Popular girls who Do Sports, but like - casual friends. They don't necessarily hang out in the same group all the time but will be the connector piece for several smaller groups to hang out together and go to parties. Dee Dee's besties in highschool are Goo and Bubbles who are extremely like... colourful and energetic and Nazz has Alt Girl stoner vibes (since childhood, irrespective of actual weed being involved) so they're quite different but have this mutual respect, you know? So Nazz's main group is Taylor and Marie (maybe I will think of others), and both her and Dee Dee also can command a crowd of others for parties etc with their popularity. So, if Dee Dee is having a RAWR XD scene girl party, Goo asks if she can bring her friend from her AP classes, Dee says sure and it ends up being mandark in the middle of his Emo phase - he gets extremely embarrassed over his past behavior and spends the night hiding from Dee Dee who is oblivious to all this. Nazz turns up with her skater crew and, in his efforts to hide from Dee Dee, Mandark walks straight into Taylor who is HYPED to see him. Eventually, Mandark and Dee Dee mend fences and strike up a tentative friendship through Goo, but Dee Dee is at first still pretty sus about him, and in fairness she has every right to be. Dexter also still sees Mandark as his arch-nemesis despite this kid getting hit with depression like a ton of bricks. But he has an 'evil aesthetic' according to Dexter so he must be plotting something dark. This actually spurs Dee Dee to befriend him more because she hates Dexter telling her what to do, and they bond over their terrible, terrible poetry. Bubbles probably becomes closest to him because she's a sucker for taking in wounded animals and he has wet cat energy, that and their music tastes overlap a wild amount. (Bubbles is a huge System of a Down fan) - Bubbles also feels like she can let out her Dark Side around this emo friend of hers, in a way her sisters would usually laugh at, and Dee Dee and Goo don't always know how to relate to. Like yeah Dee and Goo feel sad and angry sometimes, but Bubbles has this real issue since she was little of no one taking her seriously, and treating her like a little insipid baby, and it ties into how Mandark's parents treat him.

[chocoenvy]

💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥💥💥💳 MORE TRANS READER PLEASE. CRYING ACTUAL TEARS OF JOY. I AM DISSOLVING INTO A PUDDLE OF TEARS. NEW FAVORITE AUTHOR

A;SLDKFJASDFAS YOU'RE SO FALS;KFJASLDFKAS NICE PLS I LOVE YOU PLATONICALLY???????? I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT!!! SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE SAID HOW THEY LOVE THE TRANS READER! I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WERE SO MANY TRANS PPL IN THE WILD!!! YOU'RE SO NICE I'M JUST-A;SLDKFJASLFKJASF THANK YOU <33333

MORE TRANS READER AS PER YOUR REQUEST! it's a bit of a mess but it's super fun and fluffy.

warnings: cult behaviors, dysphoria, lots of fluff :))

Nicknames and constant compliments.

They'd call you Prince/Princess, I don't make the rules

some of them start to get the whole dysphoria thing and will give you small compliments that mean the world

like "Your hands are so masculine/feminine!" "Wow your voice is so cute/handsome/hot/pretty!" "You've got a little fuzz on your face."/ "Your face is so smooth!"

stuff like that. the compliments that cater to your weird dysphoric needs.

I STILL WANNA STAY ON THE OUTFIT THOUGHTS OKAY?

Ningguang buying you literally anything you want.

Taking your kins or characters you find aesthetically pleasing to help you pick out outfits

Imagine buying a really masc/fem outfit and strutting around with the boys/girls in town acting like you own the place (because you do)

(Fem) imagine a flowy dress or skirt and flowy sleeves. Or a cute kimono from Inazuma with cute earrings you got from your favorite character. (Imagine getting cat earrings from Diona)

(Masc) Or a hoodie like chongyun has, a dress shirt, chains, rings. That necklace thing that Thoma wears.

PIRATE. APPAREL. A PIRATE HAT. pirate apparel is not gendered but imagine a super masc/fem version of pirate wear and boarding the alcor with Beidou i'm-

The amount of euphoria!

and if anybody ever misgenders you on purpose literally the entirety of teyvat will sneer at them

like wtf dude? that's basic human respect dumbass. you're creating a problem from nothing.

you'll never see whoever did that again :)) (childe took the "boil the homophobes" too literally)

Comfort from Dysphoria

as far as we're aware none of the characters are trans and understand dysphoria. But if there is anybody that would understand it would be the gods. Specifically Venti.

They can change forms, surely they understand that if they're in the wrong form everything feels wrong.

Whenever you approach Venti about this he understands. Not to the extent you do since he's not trapped in one body, but he does get it.

"It was such an awful feeling." Venti grimaced, "I changed my form as soon as I could to get rid of it. Is that what you go through everyday?" His eyes shone with pity. Sadness that his beloved god feels so awful all the time.

Venti, being the cutest dumbass bard that he is, sings a song praising you using your name and pronouns (think "He's a Jolly Good Fellow" but you and your pronouns. really dumb but cute)

It's so goofy that you can't help but giggle uncontrolably. Any thoughts of dysphoria or self hatred pretty much gone with the wind.

-Venti jokingly making his voice higher/lower to show you how masc/fem you are

-Zhongli giving you masculine/feminine jewlery custom made by him with pretty stones

-Ei doesn't know how to be comforting so she'll probably just be your supply of sweets on those really rough days. She'll also personally m u r d e r those that made you upset.

-IMAGINE Beidou and Xinyan helping you look like a masculine girl and Venti and Xingqiu helping you look like feminine guy. Like imagine for my trans mascs, looking like a boy but wearing a skirt!! Or wearing a tux and looking like a girl for trans fems!!

"Razor, what do I smell like?"

"Like...Lupical..."

"No, like, does my scent give away my biological sex?"

"Sex? Your scent... like lupical?"

"Razor I-"

"..."

"T-thank you Razor..."

":D"

-Someone is misgendering you and the traveler gets more and more pissed off while Paimon not-so-sutbly corrects them, her voice getting higher and higher everytime they use the wrong pronoun.

TransMasc!Reader: My chest is so big :(

Beidou: *proud* Not as big as these honkers *slaps her chest*

Transfem Reader begging the women of genshin to spare some boobage.

Aether and Lumine being the best older siblings:

Aether helping transmasc reader with his wardrobe and daily routine.

"i have long hair so you shouldn't worry about how long yours is"

He helps you do masculine makeup, "My sister taught me how to do it, i'll try to make is as masculine as possible :))"

if your hair is short but grows back super quick and you don't wanna get your hair cut every week Aether will jokingly put it in a tiny ponytail to match his braid.

You teasingly steal his sword and he just stares at you with his hand to his chin, humming, "You look very masculine with a sword."

Lumine dresses transfem reader all pretty everyday with fancy and cute dresses and jewlery.

Going shopping with Lumine and she points out every item she thinks would look good on you.

"Here take these dresses and model them for me!" She grinned.

The two of you had a whole fashion show in the dressing room.

Lumine puts flowers in your hair whenever she can because you just look so cute! (it was originally Venti's idea but Lumine beat him to it)

Lumine doing your makeup super fem and pretty. Matching makeup!! The two of you sitting at the vanity staring into the mirror, "What kind of look are we going for today?"

STYLING. YOUR. HAIR. doesn't matter how long or short it is, it's Lumine's to style! now She'll have a blast with your hair, she has lots of experience with Aether's hair and her own so she'll have fun and you'll definetely like the results.

[carnalcringe]

* hi :D could you maybe do the inside job gang comforting a dysphoric transmasc reader? Like maybe giving them masc compliments and like getting them food and stuff

Hey!!

I struggle with Gigi and Myc but I can sure try

ALSO THANKYOU FOR DOING MY ASKS IVE BEEN PRAYING FOR BRETT CONTENTFOREVER

Note that I am Bigender (Feminine/female presenting) so if I write anything that may come off as upsetting or wrong PLEASE let me know)))

Inside Job x Trans-Masc/Afab Reader

Reagan

I feel like Reagan would be rly nonchalant about it.

Like no matter how it came out ( like wether it was made known from the start or if you found out after meeting her and/or came out.) she would have no problems with it.

If you’re feeling dysphoric she’s a little lost on how to comfort you. She struggles with social cues so she may not notice unless you said something.

If you tell her what you need she’s definitely there to help though. Wanna borrow some baggy clothes? Let her wash them first. Want some comfort food? Door dash. Need to take your mind off it? How about a marathon?

She completely forgets your binding (if you bind) until she sees the binder. But instantly when she sees it she’d ask how long you’ve been wearing it.

I imagine you two have this cute little thing where you both take your meds in the morning. If you’re medicated then obviously you’re taking your meds, if not then She helps you with the T shots. If it’s gel then maybe she helps you rub it in.

Sleepy yawns and mumbling while you get ready for your day

Brett

He’s so sweet about it omg

I think he’s rly up to speed with LGBTQ issues and shit

Brett is obviously the pinochle of manliness (/hj) so he’s so eager to help you out with anything you need.

He’s rich right? He’d constantly ask to pay for your treatment.

If you’re feeling dysphoric he’s there to do absolutely anything. He’s doing the cooking and the cleaning, just focus on feeling better

He’s such a doting partner, everything you need he’s got. Showering you with complements and reassurance.

Gigi

She’s happy for you, also pretty chill about it but she’s a little more receptive than Reagan

I imagine that if this is like a new thing (like you came out after knowing/dating her for a while) she’d practically drag you to the mall for a new wardrobe.

She’s an absolute fashion diva, only name brand and designer are fitting for her lover.

“Babe. This top is just your shade.” “Have you seen these shoes??”

Makes sure you’re in therapy and if necessary, medicated. No excuses

She’s very ‘Get moving and you’ll feel better.’

If you’re pre-op, she’s on your ass about taking binder breaks and making sure you’re keeping up with hygiene.

If you’re post-op, she’d help you change your bandages and keep you comfy

“Honey have you eaten today?”

“No, I haven’t really had the energy-“

“Put some pants on, Sushi or the Cheesecake Factory?”

Andre

I absolutely think he’d make your T.

Don’t trust him with surgery though he cannot be trusted with a scalpel.

If you’re up for it, he’s got plenty of drugs to help keep your mind off the dysphoria.

You tryna load up on fast food he’s got that covered.

In All seriousness, He’s great at physical reassurance. He’ll snuggle the shit feelings away. Just lay down and listen to his fucked up heartbeat.

Probably better at physical than vocal/mental.

“You know what makes me feel better when I’m upset?”

“Cocai-“

“Cocaine.”

“I’m not doing cocaine.”

“…ok… how about Wendy’s?”

Myc

Im so sorry but I cannot figure out how to write myc in this

I HOPE THIS IS GOOD- AGAIN PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ANY OF THIS IS OFFENSIVE OR UPSETTING I TRIED TO DO RESEARCH BUT I MAY HAVE MADE MISTAKES)))

[stoneworldsimp]

what’s mine is not yours —a request

platonic senku x reader

warnings: swearing, anxiety, talk of insecurities and worries, gender dysphoria

your name!

your name!

YOUR NAME!

your hands slapped to your ears, eyes shut tight. i can’t take this so early in the morning.

the voices from your dream had lingered longer than you would have liked. it reminded you it was time to face another day, to endure another long long day and night of hearing the wrong things.

maybe if i went and lived on my own again…i wouldn’t have to deal with it—no. senku needs me. he needs me…what does he need me for again? you rolled onto your stomach; your pillow rustled as you flopped it on top of your head. he doesn’t need me. i’d rather be lonely than hear everyone say some bullshit about me.

everyone in the village knew you as a miss. yuzuriha made you more neutral clothes upon request, but everyone assumed you were tomboyish. luckily, no one read more into it; it was nice to dress comfortably, but it was like no one else understood. why were they still calling you a girl? and the older folks, you knew they meant well! but you couldn’t help but feel like their constant “sweet girl”s were making fun of you at this point.

i can’t do it, i can’t do it, they’re making fun of me right now, as i think. as i exist!

you felt a tear trickle down the side of your nose.

oh, you’re kidding. crying? again? is this—

a knock on your door halted your thoughts; you quickly flipped back and sat up in your bed on the ground of your hut, and wiped your face quickly. you lightly slapped your cheeks to stop yourself from continuing crying.

“yeah.”

“it’s me. can i come in?”

senku’s voice brought some sort of relief; personally you felt it was better for him to come in at such a time than anyone else.

you took a deep breath. “sure, but i just woke up. i’m staying under my blanket.”

senku laughed behind the door. a small shove was made and it opened, revealing a quite chipper senku. he liked to come early in the morning when the rest of the village was quiet.

his smirk faltered once he saw your face. you believed you hid your crying well; you didn’t think to check your red eyes or stinging cheeks.

“what’s wrong?” he asked, his words much gentler than when he asked to come in.

damn. how could i not realize i was so obvious?

with a deep breath, you whispered, “senku.. we’re pretty good friends, right?”

he snickered. “of course we are, way more than that asshole gen.”

his voice was closer. you laughed as well, and wiped your eyes clear. he slowly walked over and sat down on the floor next to you. senku was looking at you, really looking at you; it was intense, almost if he was making sure his closeness or anything about his presence wasn’t bothering you.

“okay…i’m about to say a lot of stuff. let me know if you need me to explain more, or if i’m talking too much. or—“

your words halted as senku put a hand on your shoulder, a smile light on his face. “all ears.”

you smiled back softly. “okay. so—back in..our time,”you gestured between the two of you with your hands, “i told my family and friends i was, uhm… nonbinary. like i don’t feel male or female, i use they/them pronouns; all that good stuff. still feel that way now. and, for quite some time, they didn’t believe me. not in a direct ‘you’re lying’ way, but more of ‘i don’t understand it therefore you shouldn’t understand it’ type of thing. i got a lot of shit from people who weren’t my friends, too. but with my friends’ support and getting more confidence after coming out, my parents were able to kinda see it. but yeah, it took quite some time. probably like.. eight months? even then, i had to remind them constantly, ‘not a daughter. please don’t call me she or he. please don’t call me a woman.’ but we were getting there. and right when we got petrified, right when it happened, i saw the look on my mom’s face.

“we were talking about me and my identity and it was like something had clicked in her brain. like, she knew exactly what i meant and how i felt when i said what it meant to be nonbinary. i don’t even remember what i said specifically, but i remember her expression as if she were standing in front of me right now. i was so hopeful i’d see her again, her expression got me through my petrification and even helped me break out of it. but of COURSE, i didn’t ever see her again after i woke up. and then i almost lost my own sense of self after being by myself for probably a year.. i was under the assumption i’d never meet another person again, so when i did run into your village—i had this gross feeling of dread. and i realized it was the same feeling that basically lived inside of me before i came out.”

you sat up straighter and looked away from senku. “it’s like, i have to rebuild my identity all over again. people always say you shouldn’t care about what other people say, but i can’t help it. i’m a sensitive person. i get hurt easily, no matter how hard i try to thicken my skin. they all, they all just use ‘she’ and ‘her’ and ‘that girl’ so often, it feels like they’re making fun of me, like they’re constantly telling me i’m not who i say i am. and i can’t tell them senku, being nonbinary was confusing for so many people in our time, i hardly believe they’ll understand it now. sure, my parents were fine, but it took a while before they got it. i can only imagine how long it’ll take for everyone here.”

senku was quiet. have you over explained yourself? was it too overbearing? in all honesty you’d only been good friends with senku a short while; you should have waited at least a little bit longer before letting him in on something so personal—

“it all, it all kind of makes sense now.”

huh?! “what?”

“what you told me, i think i get it now.”

you gave him a look up and down. it was possible, but you didn’t think there was much of a chance that senku would be so..cool with it. not right away. you expected some form of silent treatment for at least a day or two, so he could collect his own thoughts.

“i’m gonna say something, and i need you to listen. yeah?”

you stared at him like your brain short-circuited. what the fuck is he gonna say to me.. oh god, he doesn’t wanna be friends anymore. but he’ll be too nice to kick me out of the village. but it is his village—

“hey, hey…are you with me?” you both sat facing each other now, and his hands rested on your shoulders.

just hear him out. “yeah. all ears.”

he smoothed your shoulders with his thumb. “you’re just as valid as everyone out there. i know you’re scared, but believe me when i say they will not be mocking you in any way. sure, it might take a while for them to understand, but theyre not going to give up just because they dont get something right away. it took me a few months to fully convince this village i could help them, and even then, there were still a few who didn’t fully understand the experiments and contraptions i made until a while later. i know that isn’t the same as your situation… but what i’m trying to say is that they will try their best to know you, the real you. they aren’t going to mock you; if anything, they’ll have lots of questions to ask you.

“also, you have me, you have gen to help out in case you don’t have the capacity to answer everything yourself. i’ve a few things about gender before the stone world, and gen definitely knows a lot of things that are relevant to it as well.

“everyone here… they’re all so eager to learn, i highly doubt they’ll be unaccepting. they’ll be curious. and they’ll be happy you’re letting them in on something that is so important.”

tears had made their way down your face and on your clothes halfway through his mini-monologue; you didn’t notice him continuously wiping them away until he was finished. “it’s going to be okay. trust me.”

with a quiet sob, you pushed yourself into his arms for a hug.

“thank you.”

you knew he wasn’t particularly one for any type of physical contact, but he gladly accepted. for the occasion, he thought. his arms slowly wrapped around your slightly shaking body as you tried to calm down. neither of you spoke for a few minutes; only your soft sniffles were heard in the hut.

“senku, i think that was the most i’ve heard you talk about something that wasn’t directly related to science,” you laughed into his neck.

he laughed back. “i had a lot saved, since there were moments i could tell you were kind of uncomfortable. i didn’t want to force you into talking about it either, so i just waited. tried to figure out what i was going to say. it had to be good.. you are one of my closest friends, after all.”

both of you embraced each other a little tighter. “i hope all of this helped, i want you to live here with none of those worries. especially after so many months of having it bottled inside.”

you nodded in response.

today.. today will be the day i tell everyone not to use what they used to call me; that won’t do at all anymore.

today, i’ll tell everyone my name.

[thewistlingbadger]

Mixed Signals

Summary: Emily and Spencer are trying to see if Derek likes Spencer. Derek is trying to figure out if he's gay with the help from Penelope. The 4 of them come to the realization that they are NOT on the same page at a club, where Emily and Spencer make out to see if Derek will get jealous.

CW: Platonic Spencer/Emily, friends who kiss, Derek has bi panic, gender non-conforming Spencer Reid, intimate friendship, inappropriate language, kiss in the rain, miscommunication, love confessions, first kiss. Y'all asked for me to post the stuff i got in my notes so here ya go. Enjoy.

Okay. So Emily and Spencer definitely came to the club with something up their sleeve. Spencer had always kept quiet about his crush on Derek. After all, the year was 2008. Gay marriage wasn't legal and if you were out you could be called slurs, or worse. And in the workplace? You could be terminated. The only person he ever came close to telling was Elle, but then one moment she was here, the next, gone.

Emily tried her best to be shocked at the news. It takes one to know one, she told herself. But nevertheless she made sure that he knew she was a safe space and that all she cared about was his comfort. He ranted to her about gender dysphoria and wanting to tap into his feminity, but being too afraid to do so. He asked her if she thought Derek liked him back, and tonight, they would find out.

Everyone knew Emily Prentiss was a lesbian. She made it no secret, while also making sure you minded your own business. She read queer romance novels on the jet, there was a pride flag on her desk and if you asked her what was on her calendar, she would tell you next Wednesday she had a meeting with her local LGBTQ+ advocates and that there would be a march next month, if you wanted to come.

In the same breath, she had no problem kissing Reid. They both knew that there was nothing romantic about the them. Kissing just...helped them both I guess. When Spencer would come over because he was having nightmares, Emily would scoot over in bed and make room for him. When she would get up around noon, Spencer would wrap his arms around her and kiss the side of her head as she brushed her teeth. Or when she could tell he was getting overwhelmed, she'd pepper his face with kisses till he'd be calm again.

Most people said I love you in words but for them, they had heard those words growing up from the mouths that did not mean it. Their kisses were tangible, real. They said I love, care, and respect you without even needing to pronounce a syllable.

Everyday, Derek came crying for help in Peneople's corner. He had never considered being anything but straight but his pretty boy got him second guessing himself. Derek didn't have the luxury of being able to figure himself out while young. And now that he was an adult, an established FBI agent, he feared it was too late. Penelope was his shoulder to cry on, filling his ears with positive affirmations. Giving him flyers to queer support groups and telling him when pride would be rolling into town.

"What if I don't like men and I just like pretty boy? Do I even like him like that? What if I'm just overthinking it?" "Well then you'll find out tonight." Peneople said with a wink. She ordered another round as Spencer and Emily found their way to the booth.

Derek tried to act normal but he couldn't help but notice how smug the both of them. Like they were inside a joke, and Derek wasn't. It made something rise in Derek, he just didn't know what.

Spencer still couldn't piece it all together. The looks, the touchs, the names, they had to mean something. Despite contrary belief, he wasn't all that oblivious. He knew Derek had been flirting with him for years. But why? Derek was always pulling girls whenever they went out to places like this and he never had shown interest in men. So why would he like Reid? Although, thought of Spencer being the only male that Derek was attracted to made his heart flutter, he knew it was unrealistic.

"Hey. Wanna dance?" Emily said putting her hand on his shoulder. He smiled. She always knew how to do that, pull him out of thought. As he got up he started to think about all the things he loved about her. Her gentleness without making him feel babied, her understanding without having the ability to understand what he was going through, the way she knew things about him that he didn't tell her that only he knew.

Like how he didn't need to drink to be a good time. As their bodies pressed together and they moved to the RNB beat, they laughed at each other. "Don't forget the task at hand Spence." She teased. "What task? The task of finding you a girlfriend? Because let me tell you, she won't come if your hair is looking like that!" He started to run his fingers through her hair which just made her laugh more.

Derek was watching them have fun while he was downing his drink. "What's wrong Derek, this is your scene! This is where Derek Morgan is Derek Morgan. And let me tell you, Derek Morgan? He does NOT sit at the booth like a sad puppy when the love of his life is out there dancing! Something that is a rare sight for our eyes!" He sighed, taking another sip from the glass, but he stayed glued to the leather seat.

"C'mon Derek! Do something! If you're not gonna go after Reid go after another dude! Or a gal! Scout out the area, look for someone who seems worth while! There's only one single friend out of the 4 of us and right now it's looking like it's gonna be me because Emily is having a grand old time with Reid."

Glad to know he wasn't going crazy, he responded. "Yeah, speaking of which, since when are they so close? Like you said, we barely get to see Reid dance. Then all of a sudden he's taking Prentiss's hand and they're grinding it up on the dancefloor?" He couldn't leave the irritation of his voice.

"Jealous much?" She wiggled her eyebrows. He rolled his eyes. "Don't you think it's weird?" Now it was her turn to roll her eyes. Of course not dummy! If you haven't figured out what Emily Prentiss was by now, you probably never will! Ignoring her thoughts, she asked "well what do you think it is?" He stared at the pair, trying to get get ahold of what it all meant but he turned away, empty handed.

"Did you see that? He was staring at us for a long time..." Spencer said looking over Emily's shoulder. "Do you think it's working?" "I don't know...he looked upset...he's drinking right now. Mil, I don't want to do this if he's drunk..." Emily could hear the doubt stirring in him. She didn't want to push him but she had the feeling that this would be the only chance. She wouldn't get Spencer to agree with her on this again.

"Hey." She tilted his chin down toward her. "It's your call." She smiled. God, you just gotta love her, he thought. He smiled and went for it.

"Hey, they moved away from the dance floor. Where'd they go?" Derek said sitting up straight searching over the crowd of clubbers. "I don't know..." Penelope now getting concerned. She stood up and-

"oh my god-" "What?! Are they hurt?! What's going o-" his search for them was interrupted by Penelope's hands clutching the sides of his face and directing it to the right side of the room, were he could see Emily and Spencer making out.

They both just stood there, jaws on the floor. "I thought she didn't swing that way..." Penelope said, shocked to her core. "Reid?" Morgan said, not as if he was calling for him but as if he was surprised that Emily was kissing Spencer. Or was Spencer kissing her? Unlike the last time he was staring at them, he was now paying attention to every detail. The way Emily's tight long sleeve shirt left nothing to the imagination and how she was pulling Reid in by the inside of his pants, then feeling him up after. She smirked mischievously into his lips, as if it were just a game.

Reid on the other hand, looked like he was about to cum on sight. He was still playing with he hair like how he was on the dancefloor, but this time his eyes were screwed tight. He barely moved his mouth meaning that A, Prentiss was doing all the work and B, when he did move his mouth it was in the smallest way possible and by god did he look amazing. Holy shit, did he just see some tongue?! Oh fuck, Derek thought, the realization hitting him like a truck. I like both of them.

He continued to watch them. Spence's hair was getting in his face and Emily was too busy teasing him by thumbing the hem of his sweater vest to notice. Derek could tell how much it was bothering him but he also seemed so carefree, so trapped in the moment, the sensations. He moved his head back ever so slightly, as if to ask for more but her mouth never left his.

When they parted, Derek could swear he saw a string of saliva in between them. Damn. This is not what I expected would happen tonight. He thought maybe he'd see a beautiful girl or a handsome dude, giving him an answer he'd been craving; Gifting him the knowledge he had wanted this whole time. But that? Whatever the fuck he just saw? Left him with more questions than answers.

"Derek? Are you okay?" He snapped out of it and looked at Peneople who had a worried expression on her face. That's when he realized that she hadn't been ogling at them the whole time like how he was. "Did that answer your questions?" She tried to approach in a different way. "I uhh." No words could form. "Oh, he's having a gay panic moment-" "No it was definitely for both of them." he blurted without being able to stop himself.

Penelope spit the shot out of her mouth. "You like them BOTH?" "No I-" He was completely out of his element. He started racking his brain, trying to process what he just saw. Why was that so hot? If he had a crush on Reid (like he thought he had the whole time) then wouldn't seeing his boy being kissed make him freak out? But somehow, seeing Spencer being man handled by Emily made him speachless. An "ohhhh" from Penelope was what broke him out of thought. "Well, congratulations Derek. I think you just might like guys and girls."

"Holy shit" they laughed hysterically. Spencer was about to fall to the floor. "What was that?" Emily laughed. "I was trying to make it look believable!" "Yeah by acting like a slut? Okay." She went off in a giggling fit. "Well I think it worked." "No shit?" She asked, looking to the booth. Both Derek and Penelope were standing up. "Well I'll be damned. I don't think I've ever seen him that red." she smiled "holy shit. I did that?" "Hell yeah you did! go get 'im lover boy." He hugged her and thanked her for her help, then made his way back to the booth. He got intercepted by peneople on the way there.

"So. What the fuck was that?" Peneople shouted over the music. "Go ask Emily! I'm going to Morgan." What? "oH!" The pieces somewhat clicking into place. "Oh my god how did I not know!" She gave him a hug. He gave an uncomfortable chuckle "thanks Penelope. But I really gotta go-" "But! He likes you too!" Penelope called after him but Spencer was already too far away to hear. God damn the level of miscommunication that's going on right now! Annoyed at the circumstances, she walked off to Prentiss.

Spencer slid the booth, "Hey." Spencer said. He shifted uncomfortably. A few seconds ago he was having the time of his laughing with a friend. Now he sat across from a different friend, a friend who he didn't want to be friends with. The person he wanted something more with looked down at the ground with a hand over his mouth.

Spencer frowned "what's wrong?" Reaching for the other's hand. Derek looked at him, doe eyed. "Boys." Was all he said. Huh? He had never seen Derek like this. "...Do you wanna dance?" He asked concerned. Derek nodded rapidly and they were off.

Whatever groove Spencer had while dancing with Emily had left because he was back to his normal stiffness. He wondered what was wrong with him but he couldn't decide what it was considering the amount of events that had just occurred. How do I make this less weird? What does he want? Spencer's thoughts reflected on his face.

Fuck. What's going on? Derek wondered. Sure, they were swaying and he had his hands on him, a big improvement on their relationship but he knew something was off about Spencer. So naturally, that's when Derek turned on his profiler mode and started pawing for answers.

"I was watching you earlier, you had some moves pretty boy. Didn't know that about you." There's a lot you don't know about me the genius thought. Instead he responded with "really?" "Yeah. I thought you didn't dance." "I'm not good at it." Spencer laughed. Derek couldn't resist rolling his eyes at the comments. You were practically fucking on the dancefloor talk about 'I'm not good at it.' Boy please. Spencer caught his eyes rolling though. Becoming defensive, he said "we were just being silly. It didn't mean anything." "That make out didn't look so silly. Looked pretty serious from where I was standing."

Spencer was taken aback. Was he mad at him? There was a hint of protectiveness but why would Derek be protective over him when he was with Emily? They've known Emily for a while now, they trust her.

Spencer didn't let him slide away with the snideness. "So what's your problem tonight. Had too many drinks and are now pissed you're not the only one who knows how to have fun?"

"I'm not drunk." Derek grumbled. "Oh really? Derek we've been here 2 hours now and the whole time all you've done is sit down with Penny and drink drinks. And all of a sudden you're acting all strange? How do you explain that hm?" Derek looked away realizing his error, licking his lips.

You're gonna profile me? Two can play it that way. "It's the fact that it's Prentiss huh. Do you like her?" Derek still couldn't meet his eyes. "Or did you just think I couldn't get her?" Spencer wasn't one who got easily mad but the bullshit Derek was pulling was infuriating. Do I just let the cat out of the bag or do I see how he plays it out?There's too many mixed signals going on.

Spencer scoffed annoyingly, letting go of Derek and storming off. "Kid wait!" God damn it Derek this is the one thing you're not supposed to fuck up. Emily stood up from the table that she was at with Penelope. "What's going on?" "I don't know!" They both watched Spencer leave. "Oh no..." "What the f-...he likes him Emily I swear! It's all he's been talking to me about for months! I really don't know what's going on!" Emily tried to make her way through the crowd but Derek was already out the door, trying to reach Spencer.

This is just fucking great. I go out to a club, a place that I already don't like just to try to make a move on some dude, some asshole, and now it's raining. Could it seriously get worse? "Spencer, c'mon man!" Derek heard him curse in a language he didn't understand. "I don't have time for bullshit Derek! Don't waste my time!" He kept walking back towards him.

Derek caught up to him, his feet splashing into puddles. "Look man, I'm sorry. Just let me explain!" Spencer didn't even look at him, he just kept walking. As a final attempt, Derek grabbed his hand, Spencer now facing him. "I'm not trying to waste your time pretty boy. Or bullshit you." The rain drops sliding down both their faces. Despite there being no light other the moon, they looked into each other's eyes. Derek didn't have a firm grip on Spencer's hand, but Spencer didn't feel the need to let go.

"You should start explaining yourself because I don't like dealing with nonsense." His chest rising and falling with every deep breath he took. "For the past couple of months I thought I was seeing you differently so I talked to Peneople about it. She suggested we go to the club to see if I liked you or if I only liked girls or maybe even if I liked men in general. When I saw you and Emily kissing, I- I can't explain it. I liked it. I liked watching you two kiss but then you came over to me and I started feeling jealous and I don't know what's going on with me-" "shut up." Spencer grabbed Derek by the collar of his wet shirt and their mouths smashed together.

It wasn't a pretty sight. It wasn't delicate like how most people want their first kisses to be. But it reflected every emotion that the both of them had felt that night. The rain helping their mouths slide together, the small droplets getting smushed when their checks or chins touched. Derek thought that getting kissed by Spencer looked good but oh man did it feel better to actually be kissed by him. Derek slid his fingers through his hair, imitating Spencer when he kissed Prentiss. The water droplets clinging to the ends of his finger tips. Their bodies closer than Reid's and Emily's ever were.

Spencer pulled away, resting his forehead on Derek's. They both felt the breath of the other, the rapid in and outs trying to get back to their normal speed's. Spencer still had his fingers on Derek's collar, still keeping him close. "Please tell me that that cleared up some stuff for you." Spencer breathed.

"We could be that. Friends who kiss but not romantically." Derek offered. All he knew was that he would die a sad man if that was the only time he'd get to kiss Reid. "If we kiss, I'd like it to be in a romantic way. I didn't spend countless hours watching you go home with countless women to not have you kiss me in a romantic way Derek." Derek laughed at his bluntness. "Alright kid. Good. Because I wouldn't have it any other way." He went in for another kiss, and Spencer happily kissed him back.

"I think it did." Derek panted back. Spencer moved his arms around Derek's neck, pulling him into a hug. "I've had a huge crush on you for forever. I didn't say anything because I didn't think you were gay. Emily and I only kissed like that to see what your reaction would be. I don't like her, she doesn't like me. We're just friends. There's no romance behind it." He explained, still hugging him.

By: Mic

[barry-j-blupjeans]

uh always ready to hear about any and all trans hcs

yes!!! just to put it out there: a lot of these are based off my expirences of being a trans man. there are different expriences w everyone n i try to represent that here a bit!

first start w lup, bc A) yes canon trans character!!! but B) i've got hc's about her transition slkdfjsd. i love the idea that she named herself after her aunt bc i imagine her aunt to be like,, the only adult who ever rr cared about her n taako as kids. her aunt also made her her first dress, w taako's help!! taako regularly keeps his hair short during their childhood, bc they'd get a lot of comments about how similar they looked n lup hated that bc of Dysphoria (taako, personally, wanted to look similar, but he cares about lup too much to see her suffer through something that could be fixed easy, thus hair cut).

(i have a big fic about this here, if u want lskdfds)

i hc magnus as trans vv often- there's a lot of reasons why but a big one, like many to follow on this list, is just bc i relate to him slkdf. i feel like little-magnus didn't really grow up with a lot of gender roles being put onto him, but he start just feeling weird during puberty n eventually figured out just like. oh. im trans. he was set to get top surgery after the starblaster mission but uhhh, that fell through. (inspired by this fic by 15Acesplz on ao3) taako offers to do it Magic Style for him and he's unsure at first, but after a while, n after they realize they're Stuck in the cycles, he takes taako up on it.

(i also have a fic about trans magnus! imagine that!!)

barry!! barryyyyy. trans barry, my beloved!!! downright, barry just didn't know he was trans until at least his twenties. he was focused on other stuff, but also he just didn't know until he could get out of his hometown and meet other non-cis ppl. and he wasn't rr sure he was, for a while. he knew he liked women, that was hard to ignore, but had never come out to anyone. in fact, the first person he ever came out to was the school libraian, because he didn't know how else to phrase it when looking for books about the subject (they had so many resources for him once he got across what he was trying to say, tho!!)

he knew there was a magical way to transition, but just didn't want to do it that way. he prefers taking injections because it makes him feel more self reliable. the only other person he offically came out to was his mom, who was super supportive!! she suggested the name sildar, after his grandfather, as a joke, but was the first person to consistently call his barry and use his correct pronouns.

(no fics about trans barry, sorry to break the chain lksdfjsd)

last but not least: merle. here me out. merle, like barry, didn't really grow up with the concept of gender roles, but he did know he liked the sound of "he" for himself more than "she". i don't think merle really ever told anyone, or did anything extra, besides start introducing himself as, yknow, merle, w he/him. he figured himself out after he left home, so he didn't have to deal with anyone who grew up knowing him, not that they'd particularlly care. merle doesn't really medically transition because he's already comfortable with his body. he loves himself and he knows pan loves him, what more could he need?

kravitz: i don't have a lot to say w kravitz. he never came out when he was alive- i see him as dying kinda young. the raven queen was the first person (goddess) to truly accept him as he is and helped him get a body he was more comfy with. he's had a lot of time to expirement with what he's ok with and what gives him dysphoria, but he's also had ages to realize that nothing is gendered. he's a lot more gnc than others n is pretty proud about. he's doesn't like to talk about how it felt when he was alive, but speaks vv highly of the raven queen n how accepting all the other gods are, too.

(kravitz is the kinda guy to see anti lgbt protesters at pride, using god as an excuse, and just like. call up their gods in front of them. and be like "hey, u love queer ppl, right?" and they're like "oh hell yea i do"

yeah that's it!!! i've also writen a non-binary angus fic that u can find here (chapter 3), but also if u want me to write a fic about a trans hc, 100% hit up my ask box, i will do that for u.