#LOOK AT ME POSTING REVIEWS AGAIN
Text
The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon ⭐⭐
I followed this book from it's conception, through it's editing, and hyped it's publishing date on twitter. I was genuinely excited to read it, and really thought and hoped I'd enjoy it. I wasn't a huge fan of what I read of The Bone Season, but everyone assured me this was different! And to be fair, it was! I think in my heart, though, I knew the truth because I waited so long to read this and I'm sorry to say I did not have a great time.
My problem with Samantha Shannon seems to be she creates these wonderful worlds full of interesting magic systems and characters that are fun to follow, but there's too much crammed into the book as a whole. In The Bone Season, I felt the Rephaim were unnecessary. In Priory there are too many points of view. There were things I liked, this wasn't a complete waste of time, but wow they were hard to come by in the end.
What did I like?
-Ead! Ead was clearly the main character and I think it would have worked better if it was just Her Book (I'd also settle for her and Tané, please Tané deserved more page time than she got)
-Sabran. I'm surprised, but not really, that people didn't like her. She's complicated! She's mean! She loves deeply! She's a person! People just hate women who are mean lol
-MAGIC! Magic comes from fruit that comes from the stars? It's fire and water and ice and air? NEAT! COOL! Cool magic systems seem to be SShannons strong point!
-High fantasy with no sexual assault or threats of sexual assault. There was a little misogyny with the way Sabran and her line is treated for their ability to give birth (and no, one throw away line of "This is bad actually!" doesn't fix it lol) but it fit in context and considering no one was mean to women for being women I'll let it slide!
What didn't I like?
-LACK. OF. DRAGONS. yall there are dragons on the COVER, every time someone talked about this online, they added dragon emojis. So why, in the more than 800 pages, did dragons show up for maybe five pages TOTAL. Like if we went line by line and pieced all those lines together, it would maybe take up five pages. Ten if I'm being generous and include the dragons that are The Enemies. Which, by the way,
-Dragons are Mean. I've discovered that I prefer dragons to be neutral to allies, I don't like dragon books where we are slaying dragons. It's nice that we have both here, no group of people? Creatures? Are a monolith, but I want more of the eastern dragons! They were pushed aside and we hardly saw them! We hardly saw any of them! If you promise me dragons, then deliver! The! Dragons!!!!
-Writing style. I'm thinking maybe SShannon's writing style and I do not vibe at all. I'm not sure what it is about it, I know she doesn't like writing action scenes and so avoids them, and I love reading action scenes, but that didn't feel like the entire problem here? But something about this writing detached me from the characters. Yes I liked Ead, but I felt nothing about Tané, other tha wanting MORE of her. SShannon spent a lot of time saying not much at all, it's really rather impressive.
-Tané in general. Part of the writing problem is the way the POVs were split. It was most obvious in Tané's storyline. She has everything stripped away from her, but the emotional impact wasn't there because we hardly spent any time with her.
-The Priory. The book is named after it, but we're hardly there at all. I spent a good chunk of the first half wishing Ead would go back to the Priory, but once she was there, I wanted her to leave. The Prioress' motives also seemed iffy to me? Ead was right, why spend nearly ten years trying to keep Inys afloat and then go "actually! Nevermind! Let it burn!'
-Plot....holes? Not so much holes but Convenient Plot. I was ready to ignore some of it, suspension of disbelief and all that, but nah I"m going to be picky now! The scene that stuck out the most was Ead being chased and hunted down and CONVENIENTLY wyrms attacked her pursuers and she was the one who got away. Or how about Niclays at the LITERAL LAST MOMENT deciding to have a change of heart because......plot has to move forward? Also. What the fuck happened to Ishari lol Tané noted Ishari was disappointed to be sent to Feather island, but said she hoped their paths would cross again one day! And then! Tané goes to Feather Island! And NO MENTION OF HER AT ALL!
Or how abut Loth learning a VERY BIG VERY IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION ABOUT THE NEIGHBORING KINGDOM AND THEN NO ONE MENTIONS IT UNTIL NEARLY THE END LIKE "OH YEAH BTW THE PRINCESS THERE IS COOL LOTH SAID SO"
-Wrap Up. I didn't really mind the final Big Fight. I know even fans of the book have been disappointed, but honestly it's one of the strongest stretches of the book, even if it was a little hard to follow at times. What bothered me was after. I know I tend to be impatient when reading the final chapters of a book, the What Happened Next bits, but never have I been so annoyed as to have to read a wrap up from the POV of someone who WASN'T EVEN CONSCIOUS. I suppose it's better than a book where a single first person POV character is knocked unconscious mid battle and then the next scene is "and then everything was over" but come ON.
I know she had to edit this book down a LOT, which. Girl. It's 800 pages how was there MORE. So maybe my questions were answered in things that were cut, but I could not physically handle any more of this book. I got fatigue from her writing, I cannot handle more of it at once, but considering how long it takes her to finish a book (not a complaint! Everyone has a different pace!) I also would not have wanted to wait that long for a conclusion. There's no winning for me here. We were simply not meant to be. It's just that if I'm going to read a book that takes hundreds of pages to say nothing at all by an author that puts out a book once every few years at best, I'd read VE Schwab or Patrick Rothfuss.
#bookbird babbles#book reviews#my review#books#booklr#the priory of the orange tree#tpotot#LOOK AT ME POSTING REVIEWS AGAIN#WITH A NEW HEADER AND EVERYTHING#I think i accidentally used the same or similar fonts as last time lol#but hey! I like them!
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hm... I'm feeling benevolent...
#every time i use the word 'benevolent' i remember that guy who called me 'sensei'???#because he asked me for a crit and i was basically like 'i really dont like your comic' but obviously constructively#and then he kept messaging me asking for more critique and i had to tell him to stop#and then he made a video review of my last comic and the whole review was like#'yeah so i havent really read this comic. looks pretty sick though. i basically harassed her and she had to say to stop lol'#anyways. that was weird. he used the word benevolent a lot so i always think of him. sending good vibes hope hes still making comics#oh yeah also this is kind of spoilers but not really#sorta like afterword stuff#gotta sketch gotta get into the mindset...#im not sure if that counts as spoilers at all lmfao its just minor design changes#anyways.#time and time again#spoilers#what the hell i typed 'spoilers' and '911 spoilers' was the first option??????#uh#adam and steve#ttawebcomic#sketches#sketch dump#these used to be patreon posts but its been like 5 months so. theyre free noe#the word 'benevolent' is literally an inside joke with myself now LOL
198 notes
·
View notes
Text
my god. skinny people really just have like. No Idea huh just absolutely not a single clue lmao it's almost funny to watch fr but then id lie if i said i wouldn't fucking kill to be able to be that ignorant
#girl i am SO sorry people react with surprise when you say you're studying to be an opera singer because you're#*checks notes* skinny and attractive. so so sorry that must be literal hell for you huh how will you ever recover :((((#no no please keep talking about how equally bad that is to the brutal fucking fatshaming and ED glorifying#in the industry that me and the only other fat girl in the room were talking about before you interrupted us <3#anyway. we were talking about this one review of a quite famous professional music critic whose only comment about a fat mezzo in the cast#was 'miss xyz.... lose some weight'. not a single word about her singing/acting/whatever. but yeah no you're too sexy for an opera singer#and THAT is the real problem here girl i totally understand yeah <3 thoughts and prayers dearest.#earlier that same day this same girl was standing next to me in her bodycon dress and went#*pointing at her stomach that's so flat its almost concave* 'ughhhh what do i have to do to not look pregnant in this dress 😩😫'#and i said 'girl' and just looked at her and like the sudden horrified realisation on her face was lowkey hysterical#like omg you really did forget you're not talking to your other skinny friends with whom you can pat each other on the backs#and reassure each other that 'dw girl ur not fat at all ur so so sexy!' huh sjshsjshsjs#but yeah i dont like making people uncomfortable irl so i did reassure her she looks hot and pretty and skinny as all shit#let at least one of us have a nice evening and not feel Absolutely Fucking Disgusting ig <3#and the day before that after i saw our (last ever btw never photographing myself with them ever again <3) picture and had a mini break down#the other even skinnier and smaller and petite-er crouched down next to me with the most guilty fucking expression and quietly asked me#if im alright and do i want her to delete those pictures (that she posted on two separate social media pages) and like#the look of immense fucking pity on her was even worse than seeing those pictures#like i know she meant well and was trying to be nice but my god. this really is how you all see me huh#like looking like me would be fate worse than death for yall#not even gonna mention the thing i just learned this friday that the retired ballerina who leads our ballet classes said about me#trying to cheer up the other fat girl who happened to have a bit of an emotional breakdown in the middle of the class :)))))))#like i am sooooooo so glad and honoured to be an inspiration to you. really. always happy to help. the exemplary Fat Girl Who Fucking Sucks#But Doesnt Let It Bother Her <333333#like on one hand. yeah it really does make me wanna jump off a cliff. but on the other. its just hilarious sjdgsjsgsj#you sure are right miss ma'am. i sure don't let this bother me at all. i am famous for my uncanny ability to Not Be Bothered by all this <33#but shes new. its ok. how could she know about the last two years when i was getting panic attacks and sobbing myself to sleep every tuesday#but yeah no. [lauren cooper voice] am i bovvered? am i bovvered tho? i aint even bovvered!
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
So one of the things I appreciated about S4 was that Claudia and co. reach the Uncharted Forest (hence the Soren and Claudia reunion) a few days behind at least compared to the Dragang. This makes sense, given that the kids were able to fly straight there with Zubeia give or take, but I appreciate it all the same because S2 really made the trio get distance through flight and then boat travel and they still wind up at the same town as Soren and Claudia basically a day apart. So... travel time is a bit more realistic now?
#listen i spent. so much time thinking about where the fuck soren and claudia's horses were/are at the Moon Nexus in early s2#for 'if heaven and hell deicde'#bc they have the horses in 1x09 but not on the mountain (understandably)#then they attack rayla on foot in 2x02#we don't see the horses again#but then in 2x07 they have 'em while still being slowed down by corvus having to walk by default#me looking at s4's clear cut seven day timeline where they works out for everyone's placement(s): oh thank fuck#text post#tag ramble#dragons rambles#me: weird that ezran didn't ask rayla any questions#me remembering that opeli never asked ezran any questions when he showed up in katolis: touche#this post: dedicated to like the 3 ppl in the last week who discovered and lovingly binge read / reviewed 'if heave and hell decide'#yall are real ones
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
People are more willing to accept Steve and Billy (the fucking abusive racist that only did one good thing which was dying) in a romantic relationship than Will and Mike.
I hate this fucking fandom
#you wouldn't know this by looking at my blog#but i actually used to be pretty invested in the stranger things fandom back in the day#then the h*rringrove shippers ruined it for me#(i can't stand that h*rringrove moved up 37 places in 2022 year in review)#now my stranger things fandom experience is only through a mutual#(Aggie if you’re reading this thanks for letting me enjoy being in this fandom again)#i hope this is the last vent post i make about h*rringrove forever#because i'm tired of thinking about it
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I JUST FINISHED SONIC FRONTIERS AND. ARE YOU FOR REAL. ARE YOU FREAKING FOR REAL
RIGHT AFTER I POSTED MY LONG ANALYSIS ABOUT HOW GIRLS IN SONIC GAMES ARE PRACTICALLY AN ENDANGERED SPECIES
#deerchatter#sonic frontiers#sage the ai#sonic frontiers spoilers#caps cw#yes im putting this in all the tags. look at my post boy#linking the post in question in a reblog#also yeah yeah yeah i know about the post-credits scene but YOU CANNOT TELL ME WE'RE EVER ACTUALLY SEEING SAGE AGAIN#sega's gonna read 1 review calling her cringe and be like get RID of the girl character we can't let people know we CAN'T WRITE WOMEN#sage is going to pop up as an unvoiced unlockable character in a spin-off phone game once and maybe get a comic cameo#this is so funny. it's so so so funny. literally like 3 days after i posted that analysis#she hits all the qualifiers too. supporting female character in her debut game going through emotional turmoil and dying at the end#to save a male recurring character she cares about and protect the world. she even got a dramatic space explosion like cosmo#the absolute comedic timing of it all. im crying but not for the reasons the game wanted me to i don't think#sonic frontiers was great otherwise btw had a lot of fun collected a lot of shapes 7/10 fun times good times lol#sketchertalkssth
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
"The value of Life is negative. The balance of being is rotated by 38 degrees. The surface is full of cracks, a turgid light shines through. Fleshy primordial bodies sluggishly roll down the slope. Only you slide upwards, with a celestial step. You become beautified, a saintly figure. Your pristine idiocy reveals a safe path through the impenetrable fog of Life. Your dull sword cuts through the weak tendons and membranes of the garden of corruption. Sit on the throne of contentment and ferment. Inspect the eternal blue skies of your kingdom. You come to a realization. You pick up an onion and begin peeling."
#thoughts#my art#cruelty squad#cruelty squad posting#tw gore#tw blood#ask to tag#I feel like this is such an. oddly-soft toned piece; considering the nature of the game. meant to be. solemn#I'm not sure if I necessarily agree with all the philosophy this game waxes but I admire how it hits the mark#in both things I DO agree with and in how clearly it tells its own message as a whole#the world the game takes place in; where death is nothing and people are regularly killed; killers; unhinged and uncaring and meandering#and you are a creature struck by sheer luck amongst depression and desperation to live and pay#and even if you become a monster as well; ripping things apart; you are blessed you are a wretched husk#I feel so utterly unhinged speaking this way; praising the storytelling and world of a game that loOKS LIKE THAT#a reviewer I listened to summed it up as; it is best understood by people already aware of the worst parts of the world#the wealthy the lack of taxes; the murder the guns the open carry jokes#I will admit; that line. 'you one of those open carry guys? I respect that.' it made me cackle#my favorite level story-wise is the apartment. rent due. the normalcy of the player's room. it's so calm. it's normal. it's normal#and then it's not. and then it's back into the fray and never touched again
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think the problem with TOS and me is that I need everything to follow a certain formula which includes McCoy being the one dealing with Kirk’s moods. If Kirk feels down or has a problem, I need it to be McCoy he talks to. I need it to be McCoy who gives him an advice. Spock can give him an advice too, but McCoy’s advice either needs to follow or precede (but usually follow) – because that’s the formula the show follows.
I know other people probably want more variety, but I’m very simple and want the same thing again and again, even if it only reduces McCoy to a character who’s written around Kirk. Because he is. He’s written around Kirk and Spock because he is a tool to express their emotions when neither of them can express them.
And I feel like when the show’s traditional trio roles are broken, it never works for me. Neither Kirk nor Spock can work without McCoy. I’m not saying it because I like McCoy, it’s just that you literally can’t take him out because then you even lose the kind of relationship Spock and Kirk have in the show imho
And that’s why I think a lot of novels just won’t ever work for me perfectly because a lot of authors 1. don’t know how to write McCoy 2. don’t know what role to give him because they refuse to give him his role in the show - i.e. be Kirk’s confidant. Some authors know what to do with him, but it’s rare.
#i wrote this yesterday because of something in ex machina and then didn't want to publish it but i guess i can just do it as a follow up#to the reblogged post#where i had the kirk-mccoy be less (since at that point i was very sp0nes-y oriented#which showed)#tos nonsense#leni reads trek books#this isn't particularly about ex machina though. it was just 'ah' moment for me#the book is relatively good even though i complain lol#but i don't think it's a good book for mccoy's fans but then again there are different kinds of mccoy's fans#so some might actually read it and consider it in character#i'm just not one of them#and i was glad to see some reviews agree with me when i was looking around yesterday#but there were also a lot of those who didn't see any problems with mccoy's characterization so...#to each their own#and no the problem isn't because kirk doesn't confide in him lol#i was just thinking how that part's really important to me#instead i got mccoy being drunk because of 'reasons'
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is really nice of you to say <3
Counterpoint tho:
I never write and am also lonely </3
#like its kind of funny bc the main post really describes how i feel about authors i admire#bc i get embarrassed about commenting too much or talking to people whose work i like#but its also weird to be on the other end of publishing on ao3 theres like a weird unspoken social etiquette#where commenters kind of treat comments like a review of a service#instead of actually wanting to have a dialogue with you about your work#and honestly it feels kind of isolating and sad bc most of the time when you reply to a comment people dont reply back#then you feel guilty for not replying to comments when they pile up but it then feels like an additional labor that you know has no rewards#bc people dont tend to reply to your replies#but on the other hand i am also afraid to keep talking to people who i admire online so i never start those dialogues or keep them going#so its like a vicious cycle lmao.#honestly i think if i had like friends i talked to every day about orv wall fic would probably be done rn bc im very susceptible to#peer pressure from close friends or people i want to be friends with. like thats how my brain works#sorry this kind of turned into a vent 😭. the point is i dont think people should be afraid to bother me about orv or my works#bc im always looking for an excuse to trick my brain into being hyper focused on it again#personal
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I posted 403 times in 2022
That's 32 more posts than 2021!
41 posts created (10%)
362 posts reblogged (90%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@ouiladybug
@bananagreste
@buggachat
@kittynette
@chatonnoir
I tagged 400 of my posts in 2022
Only 1% of my posts had no tags
#ladynoir - 133 posts
#text - 65 posts
#adrinette - 55 posts
#marichat - 36 posts
#miraculous ladybug - 36 posts
#adrien - 33 posts
#txt - 17 posts
#mine - 17 posts
#kitty - 16 posts
#chat noir - 16 posts
Longest Tag: 137 characters
#like. ’hm we slept together and we have feelings for each other but it’s hard to say what that means. must mean that we’re good friends.’
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
In the Rain compilation
563 notes - Posted October 29, 2022
#4
See the full post
956 notes - Posted November 1, 2022
#3
See the full post
1,684 notes - Posted November 26, 2022
#2
See the full post
1,697 notes - Posted November 1, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
omg i only just realized that she did indeed get her 8 kisses with chat noir in exaltation!!
See the full post
5,012 notes - Posted November 11, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#my most used tag is ladynoir… sounds like me alright#not me reblogging so much from myself hejfkdksl 🤭#but honestly. i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again:#most of the ml fandom on tumblr DO NOT REBLOG POSTS!!!#AND ITS INFURIATING!!#a miraculous related post might have lets say 2000 notes#but if look at the likes/reblogs ratio#the post might only have 200 reblogs and 1800 likes#that’s not how any of this should work#everyone PLEASE reblog posts that you enjoy. im begging you#my longest tag is about gabriel and nathalie btw#my top posts hmmm#ok number 3 doesn’t show up for some reason#but it is the marinette’s voice appreciation post#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I posted 33,812 times in 2022
That's 3,051 more posts than 2021!
418 posts created (1%)
33,394 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@caitas-cooing
@bibiana112
@dreamydiamond
@smallphoenix13
@mothmossghost
I tagged 2,775 of my posts in 2022
#zero escape - 178 posts
#shining nikki - 113 posts
#yeah - 91 posts
#coping tag - 81 posts
#actually autistic - 57 posts
#khdr spoilers - 49 posts
#good stim - 44 posts
#ask to tag - 42 posts
#ableism - 40 posts
#prev tags - 39 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#but it looked more ninir to me and i knew lilith was featured in the story that surrounded that outfit so i guessed ninir and got it right
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
The thing about kids that people don't understand is that they are almost always listening. Even if you think they aren't paying attention, even if you think they couldn't possibly care, they are probably listening and while a lot of it may go over their heads and there may be misunderstanding because of their inexperience with the world, they also know and understand a lot more than you think. They pick up on a lot, the things you think and feel about them, the things you say about celebrity crushes, and some other stuff that they might not see the full consequences for, but other adults who hear them tell the story will definitely be able to read between the lines and figure out what was actually said. Kids are smart and constantly learning. This goes double for disabled children. And so when I see things like the mom in that one autism speaks video talk about how she considered driving of a cliff with her daughter in the car right in front of said daughter I worry. When I see a mom post a video of her child having a meltdown and justify it by saying he's too low functioning to ever understand I worry. When I see self proclaimed autism parents talk about how much of a burden autism is on their lives I worry, because eventually those kids will figure out autism is the word that describes them, and realize that they are the burdens. Or maybe they realized it all along. And how much must it hurt to know that your own parents think of you that way. Be careful of the way you talk about your kids. They know. They always know
223 notes - Posted October 26, 2022
#4
... everyday I get a little bit closer to snapping
483 notes - Posted February 7, 2022
#3
I put the fun in executive dysfunction
650 notes - Posted May 2, 2022
#2
The way people with "scary" mental health disorders are treated by society is scarier than the people who have those mental health disorders could ever be tbh
2,534 notes - Posted November 8, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Reblog this post if you are professionally diagnosed and you support informed self diagnosis and you hate people accusing others of faking disorders when they have no evidence to support that
4,515 notes - Posted October 4, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#There is something so funny to me about me reblogging from myself more than other blogs#What happens is I'll look for a specific post#And I won't be able to find it but I'll find other unrelated posts#And I'm like sure I'll reblog that again#Because I'm easily distracted by pretty much everything lol
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I posted 8,984 times in 2022
That's 2,782 more posts than 2021!
488 posts created (5%)
8,496 posts reblogged (95%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@wygolvillage
@daughter-of-sapph0
@double-dealing-danger
@yoshicolonoscopyfootageofficial
@the-moth-of-all-time
I tagged 2,882 of my posts in 2022
#pokemon - 705 posts
#dragons - 443 posts
#yugioh - 387 posts
#musings - 253 posts
#dungeons and dragons - 173 posts
#sonic - 163 posts
#castlevania - 136 posts
#mario - 126 posts
#dracula - 93 posts
#current events - 51 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#and because that ball awards 150 points that team will almost certainly win unless they played so badly that the other team was still ahead
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
King Bob-omb throwing you off the mountain so you have to climb all the way back up again: Heehee
King Bob-omb when you try to throw him off the mountain (he can immediately jump back up): Hey you can't do that >:( You must fight with honor
205 notes - Posted October 11, 2022
#4
I think Dracula being energetic, friendly, and excitable is actually an important element that's been lost in most modern depictions of the character, and that's a shame because that was such a great part of him in the book; after seeing all the townspeople terrified and sobbing, Jonathan's trip interrupted by a pack of creepy wolves, and arriving at this sinister castle, seeing how lively and welcoming Dracula is is jarring and strange. Like, it makes SENSE, but all of those signs combined with how peculiar Dracula seems, with his pointed ears and sharp teeth and nails, contrast with his politeness and good-natured demeanor to make the scenario seem more surreal and socially uncomfortable. Like, if Dracula were rude or outwardly sinister, Jonathan might have good excuses to leave, but he's so POLITE, so NICE, that Jonathan can't justify to his employer why he'd leave early and cancel the deal, and it's enough to keep Jonathan second guessing himself, and that uncertainty is crucial to the atmosphere.
240 notes - Posted May 8, 2022
#3
L + ratio + one or more non-Tuner monsters
256 notes - Posted April 4, 2022
#2
Taking the Among Us babies to a field trip at the natural history museum
737 notes - Posted February 12, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I hate Wikia I hate Fandom I hate auto playing videos I hate the messy UI I hate how it lags all the time because of all the unnecessary shit clogging up the screen I hate the fucking search button that takes you to a full search page with no suggestions if you click it too fast I hate the obnoxious side bar that tries to direct me to other wikis
11,452 notes - Posted August 5, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#some of this is surprising to me#like i didn't expect to have posted that much more than last year#my longest tag is about why quidditch is a stupid game apparently#i should read that post again that was some good analysis i was doing#next year is probably going to look similar expect maybe i'll post about amphibia more#i say 'more' as if i didn't post about amphibia exactly once#shoutouts to sash and the sharps being the only three person ship in the top 100 tumblr ships though
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
god ive been thinking about lupin for days noww. and aughh i just wish i could make episodes it would be so fuckin fun!! i havent finished everything yet because like ohh my foddd theres so much OUT there and thays a ridiculous goal but idk idk sometimes i watch eps or watch a movie ans think like damnn 😐 i could do better than this. like fuckin mamo. like the animation style was interesting and all but the rest of the movie was in shambles and theres no way in hell id rec it to anybody ykwim. i did everything in my power to ignore the plot so i could post screenshots onto my sideblog withojt losing my fucking mind. fuck. anyway ive literally been having dreams with lupin in them lately because ive been thinking about episode ideas <- totally normal human experience that happens to everybody
#i watched a TON of pt 2 eps tonight to attempt cagching up on my screenshots sideblog. and a lot of it is garbage... like theres fun bits#and im like obsessed with animation in general so its fun to look at but like if i had a friend watch some i'd feel bad. like um wait#a lot of this material has to go through peer review (me) so the good stuff can be filtered (sending stuff in my little discord channel).#its so late. what was the point of this post. ummmmmm. *twirls my hair* oh yeah so ive been having lupin dreams again. he practically haunts#me i swear. and its ok its fun. but also like. wow. this is not the normal human experience at all 💀 neurodivergent moments over here.#anis gaymer moments
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I do not have interest in drawing because I find my art objectively bad and do not know what to do to improve it. It's not even the fun, calming activity that it was because I hate how little variety there is in things I draw and how nothing ever looks the way I imagine it.
Posting this on tumblr because I feel the need to say it somewhere...
#loquacious#I wrote a whole college app essay on art lolol and how I dont care about what other people think#but you know what. I do. I need other people to look at it and care about it and sometimes draw my characters too.#thats the inauthentic part of me talking but its just. I come up with these stories to share with people honestly even if I don't think#much of them#objectively my art--its not good. im not an artistic person and im never going to be.#whenever I try to do something aesthetic and pretty it looks shitty#and maybe there are ways to improve but idk where I would start and it feels too late#was fun while it lasted I guess. but im drawing constipated can't even shit something out#because it smells so bad I dont want to go near it again#ive never really thought of myself as an artist#time to reblog a bunch of posts and shove this down my profile#but its public in the same way my artwork and goodreads reviews are...like a diary where ppl will see but where I dont expect enough ppl to#see or care#lol#me losing my purpose in life
1 note
·
View note
Text
Do n/ot rebl/og! :o
As stated, First delivery of my hamster haul has arrived. 🐹
Whole lot of paper bedding (Two 49-50 liter bags of it), a sandbath fitted for dwarfs because I’m familiar with raising those, some sand to go in that thing (that brand of reptile sand is safe for hamsters and not dusty) and a little bridge to make a hidey hole in bedding.
I should have everything by Monday, my cage, wheel, and other things (like enrichment toys) will be tomorrow, but I won't get the good-quality food I ordered until that day, since as opposed to the stuff I posted it is coming from New Mexico, so outside Texas. But I can probably substitute pet store feed for it once I got the essentials, tho it usually sucks quality-wise. I did a lot of research to try and get good stuff.
Also I just found out we still have fresh Aspen bedding from my last hamster from years ago that hasn't been opened. I could mix that with the paper bedding if I wanted. I am nervous about the paper bedding as that can be hit or miss in quality on delivery as of late compared to when I used it years ago but it never let me down yet. I got Kaytee instead of Carefresh this time because I heard it was a little less dusty nowadays compared to the latter, but I’ll speak of that when I can actually set up the cage.
#Em Speaks#Personal Things#Hope ya'll don't mind me breaking away from muppets to talk about my personal life again lol#I always looked at the amazon reviews for the stuff I bought#I still see Kaytee and Carefresh recommended for hamsters now so it's a gamble since the reviews are a lot more mixed now than before#and yes this is the first photo I ever posted here. No. you are never getting a face reveal sdfghjk
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Trichotillomania is weird.
Because just now I was reading a bit in the trich subreddit, and as I scrolled with my right hand I could literally feel my left hand want to pull hair. So I was like “No. Don’t.” and the feeling stopped. Then I put my attention back into reading whatever post I was on and the urge was instantly back the moment I stopped focusing on not pulling. I actually nearly pulled before I noticed and stopped.
I can’t tell yet if reading about other people’s experiences is helpful or not. On one hand it makes me want to pull, but on the other hand it makes me hyperaware of the urge to pull so I’m more likely to choose not to rather than absentmindedly do it. So I guess it’s neutrally good?
Anyway. I gotta go get box braids to see if this will help me fight the urge.
#trichotillomania#oh yeah i have trich#goes hand in hand with the anxiety and ocd#i thought i'd mentioned it before but i searched my blog and didn't see any posts so yay#i think a braiding place near me might be the way to go since their reviews look good and the location looks good too#since so many braiding places are holes in the wall that i'm sure do amazing work but i've never gotten my hair professionally braided#so i'd rather go somewhere that has an actual website and a large legit space#since i don't personally have the connections of 'my cousin works at this salon' or 'auntie works at that salon' or 'friend's sister braids'#since that's usually the reason you go to those hole in the wall places because you already know the braiders there.#i know that mini twists definitely help me fight the pulling urge but it takes me 2-4 days to do mini twists on my whole head myself#since i prefer having like 150+ twists in my head and i have to do my own parting and my arms get tired easily#having someone else do braids (or maybe mini twists) for me would be much easier and faster#also i've literally been pulling since i was like 16 or probably earlier but 16 was when i was like oh i pull my hair and acknowledged it#then 24 i think was when i was like 'ok this is a problem and not just a habit' because yay pandemic#making all my mental illnesses much more pronounced and the reason i started wearing mini twists more often#also i want to go so i can confirm that i don't have bald spots. that's my fear.#i should have known at age 20 when i was worried about a hairstylist finding bald spots that i had an issue. 24 was too late.#i can ask the braider if she notices any. but then again i think if i know i have any it will make me freak out... hmm...#anyway i'm posting this partially because i need to dye my hair with henna before i do anything to my hair#because my greys have like 2 inches of new growth. it's a miracle i don't pull my greys. i like them too much to pull them.#i'm actually sad when i see a grey in my hairbrush. i like that they're now all bright orange from the henna#i actually want MORE greys so i can make them be orange highlights#so yeah gonna henna my hair tomorrow after my therapy appointment and then figure out when/where i will get my hair braided#and i'll get that done either next week or the following week
4 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
arsonistcrab
✨🏳️🌈🦀🏳️🌈✨
kyylareneeofficial
Untitled
amor-indescritivel
Amor Indescritível
zdravkaz
Zdravka_Z
bambros
Brabatos