#Let's make this another good year <3
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My goal this year was to get Rabbit Roadtrip done, so, that worked out quick! I'm quite proud of how far I actually got this year with the storyline, I wasn't expecting to get to Wild's reflection until 2024!
I'm not sure what to expect or hope for next year, but at least I'm setting myself the goal of getting some proper content of Masks finally. It's about Time BA DUM TSH--
Also thank you to everyone who sent an ask telling me to have a happy new year! I hope you'll all have a good one too! And the person reading this! And your friends!
#Linkverse#Art Summary 2023#Webcomic#Artists on Tumblr#It wasn't an easy year for me#It's nice having LV to fall back on when I feel lost#Thanks for sticking around everyone!#Let's make this another good year <3
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
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[walking around, peering into people's faces like i'm in an art exhibit] hm. nice
#just me hi#it's a give and take system and baby WHY am i standing in for the free samples cart#[dies dies]#<- irrelevant to the main body but oh man. oh mannngngnghfjs#//nice thing anyway; we're going to the beach :D#it's been like a year or so since we've been so yippee :DD#i like going to the center of the lake and waiting for the boats to make big waves lol#sure it makes it harder to get back to shore but in the meantime i get to go wheeee hfbhs#that and if you swim out far enough nobody will bother to swim to you. untouchable gfbsh#just water and water and water and oh hello dragonfly and water and that kid just fell headfirst into the shallow water and water and#:>>#//in other news too: i am like.. one 5th done with the third ref lol👍👍#it IS a bog. but at least it's a nicer bog ykno hfsh ?#//how funny would it be if they found atlantis at the bottom of like. a random lake#you know how underwater caverns are! but it would be neat hbfhv :3#i don't mean any of the great lakes either; it's completely sensical that you'd lose a city in there. why would you leave it on the coast#dummy?? the water Will eat everything#unlike the earth; which only gets aggressive cravings now and then. and that's only cuz she's doing all this moving. she's earned it hfbsh#/also question. if our planet ate another planet would anybody here have a problem with that [wide gesturing towards you]#because you would have to assume it's natural. How and Why Else would a planet be eating another planet ?? plus. what if the chances are#high that it fixes all our problems lol. 'why are you asking this' see that's a good question. and every now and then there are questions w#leave to people of a more scientific or philosophical turn of mind. not me. i'm the 'do you support mother earth eating other planets whole#questions guy :) an important role in some states of being lol#//anywho i gotta get on my things. you know. the things? and the stuffs. lotta those going on. lots of things. and stuffs :)#and i don't wanna count my tags again lol - i think i'm in the mid-twenties but let's not be too sure about that hfhvhsh#so ciao toodles. i will most likely be back with some family-answers to the planet-eating question#byyyye :3
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rating how easy would it be for different spg bots to be recreated in doll form
The Spine - has a lot of pictures and videos, his outfit and makeup are pretty simple and consistent, also you don't have to worry about hair. Perfect target, 5/5
Rabbit - i love Rabbit as much as the next guy but BOY does she change her style often. it's pretty hard to get good shots of certain designs, however this allows some creative freedom. she also has different hairstyles/headpieces that could be a bit problematic to recreate. 3/5 because i'd be scared that i would mess her up(sorry Rabbit :( )
The Jon - nice and simple outfit, straightforward make up, lots of photos and videos to see full silhouette. -1 point for hair (really pretty but again, might cause some problems as it is with rabbit). 4/5
Upgrade - her makeup consists of mainly straight lines and dots so we're good here. not-so complicated outfit and pretty good hair & hat combo so it's possible to do it justice. the only downside: there's not as much references with her as with other bots, so it might be hard to find the exact photo you need. 4/5
Hatchworth - already did that >:3. good references, nice makeup, no hair problems with bonus mustache. outfit's a bit complicated, but still had a lot of fun doing it, 5/5 expirience (4/5 on the 'how easy' scale)
Zer0 - good references, amazing hair and pretty stylish outfit that would be fun to make. his makeup is a bit more on a complicated side with different colors and asymmetry, but otherwise it's all good. 4,5/5
#when it comes to other walter manor residents I'd say the best one is QWERTY#very good. very angular.#anyway just my thoughts on the matter#girls can't finish one project of different nature without instantly thinking about making another piece#it's me i'm girls#one must imagine sisyphus making wire based dolls of his favourite robot band#spg#rambles#crafts#anyway if you're reading tags so far let me know who should be done next >:3#(i have no idea when tho. might be in a week. might be in a year. might be never)#alright enough of brainrot. back to society
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Mic Check, Please! track #8: "it started here"
After 10 months (oops), the FINAL track is here!! Fun fact, this was actually the first song I wrote for this back in 2020, before I planned on writing any other ones. It was also the first full song I had written in at least 3 years at the time!
Song Art by @watermelonmountaindew <3
Mixing by my brother Alec Ferris (check out his music!)
Lyrics under the cut!
(Verse 1)
When I was younger
All I wanted was the crown
My father wore atop his head
I swore I’d never let him down
But look at me now
(Chorus 1)
Cause every dragon that I slayed
Was another pill to take
And every smile he shot my way
It wasn’t enough, it was never enough
Maybe I was never enough
(Verse 2)
Expectations
It was all part of the game
That I loved with all my heart
Still it broke me all the same
They only loved me for my name
(Chorus 2)
All those walls that I built up
Just to keep from crashing down
No one tried to break me out
They didn’t care, no they didn’t care
to show me how
Until you came around
(Bridge)
A rocky start when it began
I thought I couldn’t let you in
You saw right through the mask I wore
You changed my world, you unlocked the door
You ended my own inner war
(Chorus 3)
Was punished for all that I’d done
For all the wars I could’ve won
And all those ways that I’d fucked up
But you didn’t care, no you didn’t care
You showed me love
(Ending verse)
I was waiting for my life to start
After all that I’d gone through
But now I know straight from the heart
It started here, it started with you
It started with you.
#omgcp#omgcheckplease#zimbits#music#mic check please!#IT'S DONE!!!!!!#can't believe it took 2 years...almost 3#there was a year long gap between writing these and producing them but still-#will be making a post with all the songs in order soon!#also let me know if there's any interest in another stream where I play the whole EP from start to finish this time???#oh also if putting these on Bandcamp is a good idea-#SoundCloud
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A hard pill for me to swallow lately has been that, despite everything, I'm probably the best version of myself that could've existed. And that's not really a comforting thought.
#it's a special kind of doomed imo.#every other path most likely led to something worse#maybe it's pessimistic to think of it that way. maybe I should be more grateful that it isn't worse#but it's hard to find that within me atm#the best of bad outcomes doesn't mean good. it doesn't mean I'm happy.#it just means every other option would have been more miserable. and it's disheartening to think like that ofc#and I know the logic is flawed. but I know myself and even with the advantages I have I'm unable to make anything of myself#had I chosen differently it would only be worse. I'd still be impoverished. I'd still be depressed.#I might just also be stuck in a cult and married w kids in the middle of fucking nowhere wisconsin on top of it all#<- that's the worst case scenario. probably. really hard to say#biggest bullet I've dodged yet tho. completely unintentionally too.#another hard pill to swallow: sometimes the things we want the most WILL ruin your life and it's a blessing when it falls through#unfortunately you don't get to know this until years later#as you watch your ex best friend marry a man almost 2x her age and birth kids she never wanted into this world#and then you're like OHHHH that would've been my fate... I get it now 😐#still. there's no relief in the realization because while you would've been miserable w a shitty husband and 3 or 4 kids#you are in fact still miserable without them. but oh well.#I would say 'anyways. I just need to go to the beach.' but honestly. I haven't felt the desire to do anything at all lately.#we're past the point of letting the sand and waves heal me. we're almost past the point of needlessly venting online!#there's so much I usually would vent about here but I have hardly had the urge to do so.#I'm just tired. life has drained me dry. my heart aches constantly and I barely know why
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#a fact of life is that you get rewarded for patience and good behavior#let me be your living proof of that: i have patiently waited another 2 years for such a thing as this to reoccur#and if my streamer tells me THE DAY BEFORE THE 4.0 LAUNCH that he's up to something#then by god i will take his word as gospel and sit my ass down at 5pm cst#to have new life breathed into me#delicious wonderful true and honest new life#otay i have to make actual gifs now i have 2 hours until stream#yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy#i dont want to put this in the actual np tag but i have to for my own sorting purposes so sorry about that </3#nopixel#yung dab
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.
#so I was reading up on bipolar disorder#and apparently it’s one of the main leading causes of disability worldwide#2 out of every 3 people with bipolar disorder end up on disability#and given the fact I’ve been struggling so much with episodes where I just like… can’t do anything#idk that’s terrifying to me#I LOVE to work and feel accomplished#I’m not saying others who have to take it don’t but that it would be a massively destructive blow to my self identity to not be able t work#I think I’ve done really good work so far getting things sorted out#I’ve been compliant with meds and am almost finished with my year-long intensive outpatient therapy#the stress of the strike that started really threw me off and has made the last month pretty unbearable#but I’m learning and adapting#this just feels like it lit a fire under my ass that I really need to work overtime to fight this diagnosis and get back to healthy#there’s no putting things off like I need to get shit done#and if things aren’t working then it’s time I find another way#bc I can’t let myself just give in to the symptoms and let them dictate my life#really coming up with a game plan for 2023 to make it my year and I genuinely feel confident it will work out#2021 I wrestled control of my life back and got semi functional again. I sought help#2022 I found that help and got diagnosed / found the right medication balance / completed intensive outpatient therapy#2023 I use all this to make behavioral changes that help me regain control of my life#specifically tons of exercise / more social interaction / practicing hobbies and skills#I think it’s pretty achievable and I’m excited about the results
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The fact that you can only go in like two shops and three buildings in pokemon scarlet/violet LOL
#you can TELL they were rushed bc you used to be able to go into the most pointless buildings#and listen to some grandpa ramble about how his knees hurt when it rains and castform are his fav bc they can stop it#this thing is SO POORLY OPTIMIZED#the uniforms too…and the fact that we have a dorm we can’t decorate#i would’ve preferred to wait another year for this and have actually good graphics and building/shops you can enter and better custom stuff#than to get it now the way it is#gamefreak pls stop hurting ur game devs let them live#you can even see it in the new Pokémon designs#at least i can make a banana pickle onion ham mayo mustard and jam sandwich am i right#literally never going to make a not cursed sandwich in this game#also like#open world but at what cost#is this what you want gamer bros?#not everything needs to be open world#imo partial open world like arceus with regular transitions between routes and cities would be fine#also with pokemon…open world feels a little directionless idk#it’s not at quite at rpg level it’s still pretty linear#even with the 3 goals you’re given like you can tell based on leveling that there’s still a linear aspect#you don’t need to and shouldn’t be able to go everywhere whenever#also question why can i not wear a hat with curly hair but i can with space buns HMMMM theres like no customization in this game#and you wanna take away one of the limited options just bc i chose wavy or curly hair???#mad at gamefreak execs bot the devs devs i love you and i know it’s harder to optimize probably#you should’ve been given more time
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Life is so wild right now because I have so many things I’m happy about and enjoying (Fun K-Pop music, more Percy Jackson, more Our Life, more Sims, more Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons, more Critical Role, etc.) but simultaneously my life is falling apart and I’m miserable about many things (One of my cats and one of my dogs died, I’m suffering from yet-to-be-explained medical issues atop my usual chronic ones, having the worst anxiety I’ve had since I was in high school, can’t write anymore due to my chronic pain, etc.) so I’m like. Man. I want to be Happy but I just feel like a Wreck but I also have soooo many things I’m looking forward to.
#long story short i'm fairly miserable but i intend to survive and get happy#i will make it!! i refuse to let there be another way#2022 was just like surgery post-surgical depression sister's wedding vibing covid sad things illness sad things sad things sad things#LIKE DAMN GIVE IT A REST! i'm one(1) chronically mentally ill bisexual#shoutout to guided meditations only thing keeping my mental health together+chronic pain from being unbearable#miss writing so much i hate thinking about it. <//3#but anyways i'm gonna be fine!! getting professional mental health help probably soon and all that!! getting tests done!! i'll manage!!#and i got to meet my closest internet friend of seven years in person a few weeks ago. there are so many good things in the world.#we live to be happy. <3 i really do believe that is our purpose!! to be happy and to feel love!! and i am determined to live my life like so#anyways that's all. tiny rant. not feeling great but always hopeful. <3
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#i was like lets make a cute little thing really quick and then i tunnel visioned for.... 20 mins?#don't open the tags unless you're prepared for a wall of text#my art#another one of those images which uncomfortably straddle the line between 'my scribbles' and 'my actual work that i put real effort into'#anyway this is me after i was like let's make a proof of concept for a productivity app it'll be fun and fast#and in order to make a full proof of concept i went back to the initial thoughts i had about the app (which i wrote down of course)#so i could. y'know. get the full concept down. and then i read like thousands of words of completely disorganized spitballing. head spinnin#but also did you know that me from what. like 3 years ago? shares remarkably similar ideals as me today. who would have thought really.#i had forgotten about half of the stuff that i originally wanted in the app and now my app idea is slightly bigger#(my already big mind palace app is already. big)#and maybe you'd be like 'wow okay that just means you grew up and developed so you don't need them anymore!' false sense of security it's#actually because i am no longer a student and also have no job so my daily life is different but my work ethic (lack thereof??)#is still the. same. so if i were ever to work in a society again i would need. them. most likely#and the other half of the stuff that i originally wanted are things that i unwittingly wrote into my recent drafts so yeah i got kinda#blindsided by myself back there. 'oh shit YOU were the one who came up with this first. wtf i thought i was being original and innovative'#slight exaggeration bc what im making is like 98% clone and 2% not clone (but maybe still 99% clone bc there might be another app out there#that i just haven't heard of but is like exactly the same as what i am thinking in my head)a nyways#okay yeah uhhhhhhh so i'll be back at some point with more fun words good night fellows#also did you know that ms paint has layers now (not that new news) and also doesn't let you save in layers that's crazy shit
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not my new co teacher being a literal high school meangirl tiktoker 😬
#she's just filling in thank goodness but she's worse than useless lol#i heard she was from the other classrooms she's usually in tho#she's kind of nice but she's literally sitting there on the phone or texting while she's supposed to be watching the kids#she was on the phone at naptime yesterday and i could not get her attention for my life to get her to settle one of the kids#bc i couldnt make noise and no amount of arm waving could penetrate the tiktok hypnosis she would not have looked my way if i died#phones are allowed at naptime but you still need to be aware of your surroundings and no calls but she did take a call too and was unaware#also she's constantly texting when the kids are awake?? i would get fired for that idk how she's getting away w it#but when ur watching 17 toddlers you're basically a lifeguard you're not supposed to take your eyes off them even to speak to other teachers#bc even with 3 or 4 teachers watching there's always something out of sight thats going to go wrong#its impossible to watch all of them#and they will get hurt#and thats when you're all focusing#also when she does witness unsafe behavior she doesnt move#she just sits there and says no dont do that#but doesnt physically remove the 1 year old who does not listen to verbal correction from the unsafe situation???#she just sits there and scolds them until another teacher intervenes physically every single time 😭#not once has a child stopped because she told them to#anyway#not to be a bitter adult shaking my fist at The Youth but she's so bad lol#i hate to be correcting her all the time so im letting her get away w stuff i would be executed for#and i did 3 of our 4 rounds of diapers yesterday bc she doesnt know how#she's nice to your face basically but she's really gossipy and mean abt others so you know she's speaking badly abt you too
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Oh shit my birthday is in 3 weeks
#3 weeks from today#what will i do for it hmm.#kinda wanna go Out kinda wanna go fishing again#i mean i'll def go out somewhere#anyway. i will be making a Deal out of it because i do love attention#last birthday was good#year before it really fucking sucked ass and balls 👍🏻#but i want another good one this year#so i have to let ppl KNOW apparently. etc
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sometimes i miss talking to that one person who didn't NEVER turned it into a competition about who has it worse and never told me well atleast you have [x]
#weirdly i think she was the only one#my irl bestie called and was ranting about her miserable life and#it's the exact same thing ive been going through for years her parents won't let her move to another city#she can't make friends here she hates it here her parents are being overbearing and don't understand the importance of socialising#with people her age and they tell her to just hang out with her family all day and don't give her privact#like. okay. i love her ive been listening to her complain about how her mom comes into her room sometimes. and just#i was okay listening to it okay im no judge for how someone's feeling and my bad might be their worst#but then she goes like well atleast you'll know you'll get to move out after you finish your degree for a job#like. wow okay. atleast you got to enjoy 3 years of college at the coolest city in india atleast you got to have vibrant life experiences#and learned so much about the world made tons of friends visited a hundred places had a boyfriend#went to clubs increased your netword learned how to be street smart and talk well#i hate to be resentful ofcoursr im happy for her and ofc i understand this is a hard time#but like god seriously. she'll never know what it feels like think you'll live your life as you pass 12th because they let your elder siste#go to college and she had the best times and then suddenly you're 17 and they twll you well actually we made a mistake and we won't repeat#it ever so you're just gonna stay home where we watch you 24/7 and ww won't even let you go to classes that have somewhat okayish people#because you can't have friends because they'll distract you from your studies#and she'll never know what it's like working towards a dream everyday that seems so fucking faw away and unreachable#when you're not even good at studying and especially focusing because yeah parents fucked you up majorly!!#like im sorry but try being completely hopeless and alone and isolated losing your friends one by one watching everyone#grow and find themselves as you rot in your room try to do better try to find happiness but it's impossible it's never enough#and try to study for a really fucking hard course in the middle of all that#and then tell me that atleast ill get to go out after i finish#like seriously try fucking living my life for one day and then talk#god i know ive become resentful and bitter because of a thing in my childhood but i don't know how to stop#ugh i never should've picked up the phone i was studying so well before that#anyway. i miss talking to that one person who was sensitive and sweet and encouraging always yk#i miss hearing i completely understand you because im going through the same things (def worse imo) and we'll get through this together#man.#chappell roan was so right actually i hate that i let this go on for so long now i hate myself
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tumblr is my only social but occasionally i do indulge in visiting other sites and looking up people i didn't like in high school to rejoice in how awful their lives are now
#one of my school bullies had 3 kids and another on the way when we were 20 lol. few years later and now she has 5 kids. different dads too#idc how toxic it is to say this but i love to see a good failure story#like yeah it turns out everyone saying “they bully you because they're unhappy. your life will end up better than theirs” was right!#my life IS better than 100% of the people i hated by the end of high school whether they bullied me or i simply didn't like them#mfw i have a steady white collar job with a pension waiting for me + the best health insurance + i put >25% of each paycheck into savings#it's not like i'm living a high life but none of those people will ever see a retirement working fast food in our hometown til they die 😳#the funniest ones are who i ended up graduating college with. like babygirl we both had the same opportunities... you CHOSE fast food? okkk#my awesome job isn't even specific to my degree. literally anyone with a bachelors can do it. liiiiiike#keep complaining to facebook about working at Popeyes with your bachelors girl imma bump up my TSP from 10% to 20% real quick#TBH there is not a single person from elementary/middle/high school that i would voluntarily “reconnect” with#the older i get the more i realize i didn't like a single mf from school even if i thought i did at the time. except for my number 1 bestie#i remember at about 16 i slowly cut off all my other friends for various reasons. literally could not have improved my school life more#i didn't make a single friend in college whatsoever and by god was i so happy. i would go to college forever if it were free#professional loner student#damn no wonder i got a personality disorder slapped onto my record 🤨 like ok girlfreak calm down with the edge (@ myself)#anyways thank you social media for letting me see this on the days i wake up feeling petty!!!!!!!!!#bluh
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