#and given the fact I’ve been struggling so much with episodes where I just like… can’t do anything

[prozach27]

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[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Alright, here we go

First and foremost I want to talk about what flying bark's animation has meant to me.

In a world where every day I see 2d animation being rejected for cheaper 3d and puppet animation at every turn, Monkie Kid's animation was the one of the first things that gave me hope for the future of 2D animation. I can't tell you how long I've been wanting a 2D animated show, growing up I wanted one so desperately, I craved good animation amongst the stiff 3D and flat storytelling, so when I got it, when Monkie Kid happened, I was so unbelievably happy. It was everything I wanted in a show, gorgeous animation, excellent voice actors, romance free and friendly to my desperate friendship-craving, romance-overstimulated brain and written in a way I enjoyed so much. I struggle to describe exactly how much I’ve adored everything this show has been up until this point. It truly is a masterpiece.

Monkie kid has kept me company during the lowest and roughest points in my life. I got to such a bad place mentally but Monkie Kid’s fast-paced, snappy, detailed, colourful bright animation brought light into my darkest mental times and not only helped me stay connected with people but kept me creating even when I wanted nothing more than to lay on the floor and never move again. I'm aware most of the flying bark team is active on the bird app and none of them are gonna see this most likely but I still just wanted to say thank you. Thank you so much for animating this show, thank you so much for giving it your all. Thank you so much for giving me something I’ve always wanted so perfectly. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for keeping me company at my lowest, thank you for sharing your joy of animation so I could catch some of those rays of sunlight and feel a little of that joy too. Thank you for your positivity and good vibes, thank you. 

I know so many people have gotten inspiration from flying bark and I have to add myself to the infinite list. My art has improved so much thanks to their inspiration. My style has developed, I’ve had so much fun, I’ve written some of my favorite works ever based off of expressions that the characters make alone. My last amv I made because I was so grateful for the animation that we'd gotten up to that point. I wanted to showcase, to thank, to appreciate. I didn’t know it would be a goodbye. Words can't describe all that flying bark's animation and even their storyboards have done for me. When nothing could make me happy, monkie kid wormed its way into my brain and somehow kept me in one piece. I know that wouldn’t have been possible without the animation that left me at the edge of my seat, breathless and laughing over how incredible it really was every single time. Every new clip, every new episode I’d pause and rewatch again, I’d rewatch over and over, I’d take screenshots of every goofy background character, I’d screenshot every expression I could, I’d go through episodes frame-by-frame, literally one at a time for hours on end just so i could catch every detail, I’d open my eyes wider and wider to try and take in every bit I could in a way I’ve never been able to do before because there is nothing else out there like monkie kid. There was nothing as fun and as joyful as every single frame that flying bark gave us. And I am going to miss that so much.

The fact that season 4 was a sendoff is so heartbreaking to me, it's hard to describe how devastated I feel knowing something that kept hold of my hand when I was facing hard hard things in my life is suddenly gone. I don’t know how to ever express how important this show has been to me, it’s kept me going and helped me get to a place where I could breathe again. It’s connected me with some of the greatest people I know. It’s given me incredible experiences, introduced me to what animation could be and I can’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt having to say goodbye so suddenly. 

I know this isn’t the end of Monkie Kid as a show. I know season 5 is still coming. And I also know Monkie Kid has lost a huge part of what made it unique and special, a huge part of its heart and soul. Without flying bark it feels like half the show is missing and although I hope I can still support the show, no one can deny the cavern-sized hole that is left by flying bark’s absence in it. The animation team has such an incredibly positive atmosphere around them that just absolutely radiates from the things they create. I am going to miss that so desperately in monkie kid. I’m going to support every other show flying bark works on, I’m still going to love their animation wherever it goes, but I am going to miss it in monkie kid like nothing else I’ve ever missed.

I do have some other thoughts regarding the new changes in monkie kid but I wanted to keep that separate from the actual farewell, so that’ll be it’s own post and I just want to end this by saying thanks for everything Flying Bark you’ve been a real one. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’re already being missed so hard it hurts. Keep those good vibes and keep up what you’re doing. You all really are incredible and an inspiration to artists everywhere. We love this show because of the voice actors, because of the writers, because of the music but a great deal of people loved this show because of you. You’ve inspired a community of artists, you’ve inspired me. Thank you flying bark for everything you've given us, you gave it your all and I’m gonna carry the impact you left on me for the rest of my life. 

LOVE YOU FLYING BARK. Here's to a bright future. Thanks for everything <3 

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

As an autistic person, I want to say something about The Good Doctor.

Over the last month or so - but especially the last two days - Twitter has gone nuts about dragging the absolute piss out of this show. Because autism representation is so rare in major television shows or movies, I’ve been finding myself questioning whether The Good Doctor is in fact “good” representation in the slightest or if I’m just clinging onto it because it’s one of the few shows out there with an autistic lead… and people dragging the shit out of it has made me even more unsure because I’ve only seen one and a half seasons of the show so far and so I can’t really speak on how the show has done recently in regards to portraying autism.

Personally, do I feel that Shaun in TGD represents me and how I am autistic? No. But to be honest, I wasn’t expecting him to because autism is a spectrum and the areas where my autism affects my life will be different to other people’s; it’s also worth noting that it’s been shown that autistic traits are different in girls than in boys, and that girls tend to mask more etc. Obviously this does not apply to ALL boys and ALL girls, but in general it’s thought that girls and women tend to have different traits to boys and men.

With this in mind, Shaun actually does remind me at times of a child at the school I’m currently at - again, not 100% the same but there’s similarities in regards to how they talk, what they say etc. However, that child is five-nearly-six, and Shaun is a grown man so… do with that information what you will. There have also been a couple of moments I’ve had so far watching the show where it’s seemed like lightening has struck and I’m like “Oh that’s me!” - namely the social awkwardness and a meltdown scene. It’s not every episode, it’s only on occasion, but it’s been nice to see nonetheless because the only other time I’ve witnessed that with an actual confirmed autistic character is Newt Scamander.

Obviously I don’t speak for all autistic people, and I’m very aware that many other autistic people have expressed dislike and criticism of the show - and I get it, I truly do. I do think the show isn’t exactly the best written (to put it nicely) and that it gives a very stereotypical representation of autism, namely “white boy/man autism”. I don’t want to bash the show too much because while I’ve seen complaints about it, I’ve also had some fellow autistic people say to me that they love the show and that they feel Shaun represents them - and that’s great.

I do want to express my discomfort about the fact that people have turned a scene where Shaun is having a meltdown into a meme. There is a very fine line between criticizing a piece of media for bad representation and then mocking autistic meltdowns - and I think a lot of neurotypicals are in fact just using it as an excuse to laugh at autistic people and mock us. It’s not just that scene either: I’ve seen people mocking clips showing how he stands, how he talks, how he interacts with people, and it very much feels like people just wanted a chance to make ableist comments about autistic people.

It’s also interesting that this show has so far had six whole seasons air, it’s got extremely high viewership, and yet it’s only now that people are taking offence to a scene that occurred at least four years ago. I know that Twitter has had a field day over another scene in the first season where Shaun at first struggles to understand why a trans woman is “she” (which, you know, is a whole other kettle of fish given that I’ve seen it claimed that autistic people are more likely to be trans/NB etc), and far right TERFs/bigots were using that scene as some kind of “gotcha!”… right up until it was pointed out that by the end of the episode, Shaun fully accepted the trans woman’s gender identity and used the correct pronouns.

Again, I’m not saying this was brilliant writing or anything, but it was several years ago and is only now being brought up, same with other scenes taken out of context in the show… Yes, autistic people have voiced grievances with it before, but were ignored - I don’t believe for one minute that the neurotypicals making the memes and being preachy give one shit about actually autistic people or care about us, because otherwise why were our voices ignored before? It’s only now that it’s been getting public notice for the trans episode that people are going “ohhhh this show sucks and is bad representation” as if members of the autistic community haven’t voiced that opinion for years. It just rubs me the wrong way quite frankly.

What I will say is that I’m tired of seeing people drag Freddie Highmore though. He’s a good actor, anyone who’s seen him in things he’s done since his childhood will know that, it’s not his fault if he’s given shit scripts to work with. I do also think Freddie means well with his portrayal, even if he’s (as far as we know) allistic and the fact he appeared in an Autism $peaks video (because of TGD/all the cast did it) - the man has zero social media presence whatsoever though and didn’t even know what Pokémon Go was, so I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt this time and assume he truly hasn’t been informed about how harmful that organisation is. Or maybe I’m just going soft on him because seven year old me had an age appropriate crush on him eighteen years ago, who knows at this point?

I’m hoping all of this talk will open up a dialogue about the show and about the representation of autism, if nothing else.

[fizziepopangel]

A Fizziepop Take: Let's talk about Blitz's new look at Stolas

Ok, so in the past, I’ve talked about how the incident at Ozzie’s put more strain on an already fragile relationship, thus solidifying the idea a certain imp had in his mind that he was essentially beneath Stolas in every way he possibly could be and therefore unworthy of love. This ideology made the relationship between the pair appear strictly transactional since Blitz wouldn’t let it be anything else because he himself feels that that’s how it should be; that it’s all it could be. Now don’t get me wrong, Stolas isn’t completely innocent in making the whole relationship feel more like a transaction than a relationship, but in this instance, we’re gonna focus on Blitz and what I believe his turn around will be based off this newest episode because I believe that it could be a game-changer for their relationship and Blitz’s own character development. So let’s get into it!

As I’ve pointed out previously, Blitz has felt like he’s been used as a glorified sex toy since the beginning of their relationship. And given the hierarchy of the demons, Blitz is already pretty low on the totem being an imp while Stolas sits somewhere on top…. We can see that Blitz understands that when he’s tripping balls in “Truth Seekers”, but because of this, it seems that Blitz got it in his mind that Stolas was less than ‘human’ (for lack of a better term). Because of the status difference, Blitz always just assumed the other demon was unfeeling, uncaring, and essentially indestructible; building this image of the demon prince in his head that is a romanticized version of him that truly was worlds above where Blitz sees himself. And until “Western Energy” came out today, this is really the only version we’re shown of Stolas because we seem to be seeing the man the way Blitz does. Is he whiny? Sometimes. But do things hurt him? From Blitz’s point of view, no. 

We as the audience see maybe two or three times where Stolas is truly vulnerable but it seems to end just as quickly as it starts. Blitz doesn’t see that side of him. Granted, I believe Stolas does want a relationship with Blitz where he can be vulnerable in ways he never was able to before and because he has a preconceived notion of what their relationship is, Blitz shuts down any attempt Stolas tries to initiate intimacy… But I think in the imp doing this and Stolas just blindly going with it to try to appease Blitz has given the image of someone made of stone… And being so used to the abuse from Stella, Stolas doesn’t see that he’s almost restarting the cycle with Blitz by allowing the imp to be as mean as he is to him; even going as far as to tell Blitz through text that he can be mean to him if it’s what he wants. I think this genuinely leads Blitz to believe that Stolas can't be hurt in any way, emotionally to physically.

In all honesty, it’s interesting to look at Blitz in this light where he seems to unintentionally be another abusive relationship that Stolas is trapping himself in because you can see that the imp does genuinely care for the owl, even if he thinks he shouldn’t. That is why the incident at Ozzie’s was such a big deal to him, because after some time, I think Blitz was slowly trying to open himself up to Stolas and whatever little progress he made was pretty much crushed when Stolas basically refused to acknowledge the fact that he’s out with him in public when confronted. For someone like Blitz who struggles with communication and bases their self worth on how others view him, Stolas not wanting to be seen with him in public but being kind to him when no one else is around would have destroyed every sense of security he may have been starting to feel with the other man. Like just shredded it. Which in turn, is going to cause a rift that Blitz will rationalize as just him not being worth anything more even though he is actively contributing to the rift by refusing to communicate.

Now, the interesting part: in the newest episode of Helluva Boss, Blitz actually has a chance to view a more humanized idea of Stolas. It sucks that it took Stolas being damn near murdered and hospitalized for Blitz to see him on a different level, but it does happen. I think this in turn may give us a more freely feeling version of Blitz down the line. We can already see small fragmented moments when Blitz is genuinely worried about Stolas, genuinely cares about him, but he still keeps himself distant…. Seeing something bad happen to Stolas does open the man up a little, prompting him to text the man while he’s in the hospital to let him know that he hopes he feels better. Despite how minor that may seem, I think it is a step in the right direction, and I do think he’ll see a more personified version of Stolas which could prompt him to want to be closer to him, meaning he would have to stop pushing his feelings down to allow himself to wander into this territory of emotional vulnerability he may have seen but never experienced.

While I trust Vivzie completely in this journey she’s taking us on, this is definitely a route I really hope she takes because I truly do want to see the two men get a happy ending of some sort whether that’s at the end of the series or it advances their storyline together through the rest of the series.  But this is just a Fizzie take on things so far. I would love to hear what your thoughts are on how Blitz and Stolas’ relationship seems to be going.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Costume Meta 6x13

Was that real - did that episode actually happen or was it all a collective fever dream?!! I”m still sat here with my jaw on the floor trying to process all of the epic goodies we got in that episode, and the costumes were no exception!!!

I’ve spent far too long trying to figure out how to assemble my meta this week, but I’ve just gone with the flow and seen where it take me! Also this beast did not want to be wrangled and my ADHD decided side quests were far more fun and so getting this written has been a real struggle (I came out victorious though which is all that matters) and why its a bit later than normal (we’re not going to talk about my laptop deciding to crash and rebooting to a document that was missing half of what I had written - I couldn’t get it back so sad times!)!!

its under the cut - because as always - its a loooonnnnggggg post!!

We’re starting with the Wilson family (and Chimneys first costume!) because they actually sit separately from the rest of the characters from a costuming perspective this week!

There are a couple of things to note for the opening Wilson family scene which are kind of overarching things. Firstly the fact that Chim and Denny are both dressed in black and grey - a really clever choice when you consider their topic of conversation - fathers and things that have happened that cannot be undone - the grey acts as a form of fade out - kind of like a greyed out button on a computer screen - preventing you from clicking on it. Both Chimneys semi resolved arc (the decision to make his peace with his father and he reality of the situation) and Denny’s current arc echo each other up to this point in time - Chim’s father came back into his life and he made peace with it, Denny’s father is currently (and unknown to everyone) back in his life. 

Both Chim and Denny are also wearing chack pattern - chims more hidden and Denny’s down the side - but Hen is also wearing a very loud and bright check pattern - she is the nly one in colour and the test card patterning of her jumper says so mcuh about both check theory and the fact that at this moment in time, she is not active in the plot - not in the conversation Denny and Chim have just had, and not in the Nathaniel of it all either. We know Denny is in danger later on so his check is also foreshadowing that, Hen is also in danger (emotional danger is just as vaild as physical danger) and Chimneys danger is more low key - its closer to his chest - his home being ‘invaded’.

However when Hen does come into play, we get a much more muted tones and we get these, whites, dusty pinks, lilacs and dusty purples, along with teal green trousers. Karen is in a black silk blouse with lilacs in a lilac colour on - this pairs her and Hen up in their respective styles and shows us they are on the same page. Lilacs are an interesting choice of floral and colour - it symbolises youth and innocence as well as love and purity. However Lilacs also mean old love and were often given to and worn by widows in the victorian era as a symbol of lost love and lost innocence! so the black paired with the prolifferation of lilacs (both colour and flowers) are telling that Hen and Karen are no longer ‘innocent’ (by which I mean they have gained knowledge) and they are also mourning the loss of the stable family life they thought they had created.

the choice to have Denny in army green continues a theme we’ve seen with him so far this season - the use of camouflage and army colour-ways to show him as sneaking around going undetected, and now the full on army green reads as an act of aggression - to the family life Hen and Karen have created, as well as to the agreement they had put into place with Nathaniel back in season 2.

I found the choice to have Karen in black with some yellow in her trousers and Hen in very bright emerald green (also with some yellow in her trousers) very interesting. Karens black is carrying on that theme of mourning, but its also a power colour - so its Karen still angry and grieving, but its also her pushing forward. the yellow is her communicating (on a low level) her anger and upset over what has happened.

Hen meanwhile is going full out into jealousy mode - we are seeing a Hen who is feeling threatened by Nathaniel and is jealous of the relationship her son has secretly been building with his bio father. THis is the culmination of all those little hints about the role Hen fills in Denny’s life - that she has been the one supporting and encouraging his sporting interests - thats why we saw Eddie and her throwing a baseball - so she could continue to share a sporting connection and interest wit her son. Hen feels threatened and jealous of Nathaniel’s stepping into that area she previously filled.

The wardrobe department just keep knocking it out of the park with the kids clothes this season. Denny’s mushroom shirt is amazing. Mushrooms are about duality - they represent both decay and deterioration, but also transformation and growth in the darkness. so Denny wearing this shirt here is perfect - he is going through puberty - a time of transformation and his acting out in his sneaking around etc is a symbol of that transformative time. His relationship with his mothers has deteriorated and decayed - they no longer feel like they can trust him, but his conversation with Toni brings him hope and the opportunity for all to grow through this dark time. its a really clever piece of costuming and I love it so much.

Karens dark teal green is interesting - there was actually quite a bit of teal at play in this episode. teal is a colour of clarity  the darkness of it here suggests that clarity is coming but not fully in place yet - that Karen is more aware, but not yet fully accepting of the new reality she lives in. 

Hens black and beige jumper is a wonderful choice as well - the beige representing neutrality and its being a soothing colour is important - accompanied by the black spots it has the affect of suggesting that the initial anger is passing and giving way to a more open time - one where calmness and the ability to see things more clearly come into play. the fact that this jumper has runs and frayed edges still maintains that idea that this has damaged Hen - that she is scared from this turn of events, even if she is more open to moving forward and accepting of Denny’s desire to have a relationship with his father. 

Here we have a Denny in navy blue shirt and a yellow and green palm frond pattern - I thought originally they were bird of paradise flowers when I was watching live, but they are more obvious in the stills! palm fronds are an iinteresting and perfect choice - they are a symbol of peace and triumph - exactly what Denny is experiencing here - triumph in being allowed to see and build a relationship with his father and the resulting peace in his family dynamic that will come as a result.

I know I talk a lot about yellow being a colour of communication - and that still holds - but it is also a colour of anxiety and that very much matches up wit the look on Hens face. Her patchwork camouflage trousers hint at her uncertainty about the situation - she is trying to mask her nervousness and misgivings. These trousers are the same ones she was wearing at her leaving the 118 party - a time when she was also feeling nervous and had misgivings about becoming a doctor. Karen being in a navy jumpsuit with a variety of headdresses on is, again, an interesting choice - headdresses like those depicted are ceremonial (for the most part) and are a symbol of leadership, strength and bravery - perfect for Karen in this moment (and in general).

Just a quick aside before we move onto the ret of the mains! I don’t normally focus on the side and guest characters, but the guy whose wife got a vibrator lodged inside her is wearing the shirt Buck was wearing in his coma dream and that has me both cackling and wide eyed! 

The scene in Bucks coma dream where he is wearing this shirt is one of mostly confusion and uncertainty for him - loosely speaking - its when he’s really trying to understand what exactly is going on in this world his mind has built for him - one where after that initial confusion we see him essentially embrace this new reality where he has what he thinks he wants - but what actually turns out to be something else - something that he doesn’t want/need. And here in this scene we have a guy going through the sexual version of the same thing - thinking that this different version of his sex life with his wife will be better - make things better and make her happy, when the reality is that if he’d had an actual conversation with her about it things would more than likely turned out differently. So major props to the wardrobe team for this little gem of a costume reuse!

Maddie rocking the layers here in Black, grey and red - very telling for this scene. layering is generally about protection - in an attempt to deflect something that is making you uncertain or causing anxiety. This is very much what is going on with Maddie here. the red top being the one closest to her skin - the bottom layer, shows that she is happy, in love and in a good place - the red of romance and passion, but it can also be a sign of danger and I think its is a combination of these two meanings here - the danger element coming from the fact that this new neighbour has got Maddie’s spidey senses tingling. The grey hoodie is a little bit of foreshadowing for her later silver top - the grey transforms into silver and becomes reflective (more on that in a moment). Then there is the black blazer - power and mystery. the mystery element is connected to who this woman is/ actually is while the power element is connected to Maddie having the power to control her own destiny in this moment - her returning the muffin tray is about her attempting to assert some authority over the situation. it is worth mentioning that aside from the Black blazer, they have Rhonda dressed in slightly darker versions of the the same colours when she gets caught - red high neck top with a darker grey jacket than Maddie’s hoodie!  

Maddie in silver and being reflective is actually kind of a jarring outfit for her -and thats rather the point. Its not a colour we see her in and she wears greys infrequently as well - she tends towards a warmer and brighter palette with the accompanying blacks, so this is out of place for her - it highlights her discomfort and actually there is something in the reflecting of that discomfort towards Athena - the one person who knows exactly what Maddie means about not feeling safe or comfortable in ones own home. The metallic top is also reminiscent of plate armour and suggests Maddie is arming her self - getting ready to protect herself iff needed. Its a top that represents her trauma response bubbling beneath the surface ready to reassert itself if needed.

Buck in yet another grey jumper! honestly I’m beginning to wonder how many more grey jumpers they can find for him to wear!! This one is a much lighter grey than we saw him wear in season 5, and its also lighter than any we’ve seen him in so far in season 6. It follows on nicely from the one we saw him in in 6x12 when he was sleeping on Eddies couch and having meaningful conversations in the kitchen late at night! but it is also tv static grey - it has that fuzzy appearance, which in Buck terms means uncertainty and confusion. This is such an interesting choice for this scene and its vitally important for it as well. 

This is Buck outright parenting Chris - completely on his own with no Eddie to be seen. The only other times we’ve seen this happen are during the shooting arc and in 4x08 when Chris runs to Buck after Eddie reveals to Chris he has a girlfriend. Before you all shout at me about the tsunami it doesn’t count because Eddie actively sets up that Buck and Chris time on screen, so his influence remains a part of the scene even if he isn’t present (It is also a trauma event and that means it sits separately). The shooting arc sits separately from this new scene and the 4x08 one by virtue of it being a trauma event - like the tsunami. We also know that Buck looking after Chris like this is a common thing from the canon text, however this is one of the few times we’ve seen it on screen and the first time we see it where Eddie is not even remotely present - making it a step up from the 4x08 scene where he is present via the tail end of a phone conversation. 

The grey fuzzy jacket Buck wears in the 4x08 scene is darker and the fact the cookie scene has lighter grey is telling about the level of uncertainty Buck is feeling. this scene is one fraught with potential danger for Buck - his choices could anger or alienate Eddie and erode their relationship if he gets it wrong - he could get accused of stepping in where he doesn’t belong. It could also land a critical blow to his relationship with Chris - what he says could upset him or make Chris feel like Buck isn’t supportive etc, it is a fine line Buck has to tread and he does it masterfully here - giving him the confidence going forward. WE see the results of that in the cookie kitchen scene - Buck bantering with Chris and successfully parenting him - and not being good cop! So here we have costume highlighting the development of Buck and Christophers father son relationship!

The Poker Game!!!!

This gets its own little section because there is a lot going on! to start with I’m going to link to this meta about Bucks costume and this one about Eddies costume, because they still, for the most part, ring true. getting the full scene hasn’t really altered my opinions on their costumes per-say. I’ll add a bit more to them once you get to the stills of them!

We have Chief Miranda Williams in a black sequin and slightly sheer waterfall front top with gold jewellery, and Captain Jeshan Mehta in all black with this dark plum striped tie. A very deliberate choice to have the both of them in full black (except the tie). All of the characters wear black in this scene (Julie only has black shoes so kind of doesn’t count and I’ll explain why when we get to her) Both Buck and Eddie are wearing black shirts/turtlenecks and they are the ones with the power in the game (thanks to Bucks new found math skills) while Chief W and Captain M both have seniority in the real world and therefore power of a different kind. I’d even argue that Chief W has the ultimate power because she wises up and allows the boys to have their fun and thus the power remains with her regardless! the use of a waterfall front top is just another subtle reference to the water theme. the purple tie is also a deliberate choice - purple is the combination of the two jackets Buck and Eddie are wearing - red and blue! Purple is a colour of mystery (much like the black they’re all wearing is) but it’s also a colour of enlightenment and understanding our inner most thoughts and feelings. It being worn by Mehta connects this concept to the shooting and Buck and Eddie finally coming to terms with the realities of it and what it means going forward - them acknowledging their feelings etc and what it means for them, both individually and together.

Julie Rosen in a dark teal asymmetric dress with a high front slit and silver jewellery. Ok so things to focus on with this costume are the asymmetry and the colour teal. Asymmetry represents unbalance (for obvious reasons) and there are a couple of ways to interpret that in this scene - obviously things are unbalanced because Buck has an advantage with his math skills. there is also the fact that Julie is in on the hustle (her comment about Buck being bad at math is deliberate and pointed!) which pits the 3 members of the 118 against Chief Williams and Captain Mehta so its 3v2. 

Then there is the teal - a colour of clarity, objectivity, support, earnestness and of being true to oneself. the other thing about teal is that it is a combination of blue and green - a combination of Buck and Eddie’s colours! As a side character and one who is in on the hustle, her costume is supposed to give us more information about our main characters and her dress is really doing that!

So here we have a scene centred on them where we have a connected character wearing a colour that is a combination of their individual colours and one which means clarity etc, the return of Captain Mehta whose name literally means crystal clear and Chief Williams - whose first name is Miranda - which means to be wondered at - can they make it any louder that Buddie is happening if they tried???

Well yes actually they can - because I seem to be doing nearly all of the non main characters tonight, lets talk about the croupier as well! Firstly we need to note her location at the table in relation to Buck and Eddie - she sits opposite them and directly in between them. She is wearing a black shirt with a rusty orangey brown rope pattern woven across it. 

I know its not red, but this is yet another example of the show making use of what it can to keep the red string of fate metaphor active. Here we have the rope/string twisted and looped, suggesting things are being tied together and because of her location and the implication is that this poker game is ting Buck and Eddie even more closely together (it really is a date even if neither of them actually realise it!!)

 We’ve had so many game, cards and fate metaphors thrown at us across the series, but especially this season, now we’re getting to the business end of things. We have all of the metaphors at play in this one scene - the universe screaming at you (as represented by Mehtas presence), the idea of playing a game to win - when you can’t lose, making the most of the hand you’ve been dealt, the gaining of knowledge and it all being tied up together by the red string of fate - represented by the croupier - who is, like I said, sat in front of and between Buck and Eddie - in front of being the operative point (the future)!

Do you want me to go on with all the subtext in this scene?!! 

Then we get to Buck and Eddie - Buck sticking to type and rolling up his long sleeves - taking off his jacket and dressing himself down (a nice touch to add to the mini dressing down he gets from Chief Williams!) but him removing the red jacket is symbolic of him stepping back into himself and his normal role - cracking dumb jokes, being a golden retriever and also reasserts his uncertainty about his future - his desire to become a captain - the theme that has been bubbling along all season. 

I will make a more full meta post specifically about Buck and Eddies watches, but for now - we get a better still to scream over! The watch that had been more or less hidden under Bucks sleeves for the duration of the poker game, is now revealed to us once Buck has won his steaks. black leather strap and a white face. black and white - things are black and white - time is black and white - its telling us that Buck is no longer in the dark (all his watches have been fully black up to now) and also that there are no grey areas!

Also they just look epically good so why wouldn’t I add in extra pictures of them for us all to appreciate!!

Everything I said about the choice to have Eddie in a turtleneck holds true - thanks to Joaquin Sedillio telling us that they were inspired by George Clooneys look in oceans 11 - a look that was inspired by golden age Hollywood.  

I do want to mention the use of texture in the poker scene and this connects into Bucks burgundy velvet jacket. the scene uses texture very deliberately, only Buck and Chief Williams are wearing anything textured - her texture is rough, while Bucks is soft and smooth (as long as you brush it the right way!) they also contrast each other in terms of look - velvet is a very flat texture - its matt and absorbs light, unlike the sequins which bounce light around and sparkle, drawing the eye and reflecting light. it is the absorbing/ reflection aspect that is the mist interesting because it lays into the idea of showy versus understated - and that is actually giving us hints of Bucks growth - before he was all about being showy - bright and bold and going through the whole fake it till you make it thing and seemingly lacking substance. Now though we see a Buck who is more considered - his brush with death has made him less flashy and more internalised. (I also love that this absorbing concept plays on the fact that he ‘absorbed’ a lightning bolt and lived to tell the tale!!). the other thing about the velvet being absorbing is that it places the focus onto Buck - this scene is all about him and he is absorbing the attention (and revealing in it!)

I’ve put the photo above where I have because of the Athena and Buck connection. Athena wearing a reverse of Bucks poker suit - burgundy top black jacket. The Burgundy has the same meaning that we get with Bucks jacket - the deep love and passion and romance - it is telling us that Bathena are very happy and very in love - that its a deep love. The black leather jacket contrasts with Buck as well - it has a more reflective surface - this scene isn’t about Athena, its about Madney. 

So we have a reverse parallel going on between Buck and Athena - something we’ve seen at play many times throughout the seasons combined with Bobby wearing a very Eddie shade of green - that khaki shirt is straight out of the Eddie Diaz playbook and isn’t a shade we see Bobby in that often - he’s often dressed in similarly muted shades to Eddie, but they are never that much of an army colour like this one is. In an episode that shows us Bobby and Athena being in love and happy and finding new things out about each other without any children being a part of the narrative. the show is being pretty on the nose about asking us to draw the parallel - especially when we’ve seen Christopher seeking his own independence.

The blue and green of it all 

Honestly the amount of blue and green paralleling going on in this episode was insane! I spent a long time uhming and ahhing about how to present this - to put all the green together followed by the blue, or to keep the coupes together! I’m going to keep this fairly brief as this post is already reaching epic proportions (I write in a very scattered manner so thats how its already super long!!)

Green

First thing to note is that the greens get darker as the episode goes on - we start with Eddie in his khaki olive green, only this one is a much lighter shade and tonally has a lot more yellow going on which actually helps connect him to the first dining table scene and his yellow shirt. Its also important to note that he has his blue face watch on - which I’ve started calling his Christopher watch

This henley is the same one we see him wearing when he is at the Grant Nash house talking to Athena about his Abeula and her being taken advantage of - such a choice by the wardrobe team - foreshadowing the poker game hustle as well as playing on the theme of being taken advantage of and of cards (tarot cards!) they really are going to town with very deliberate repeat costumes since 5b! 

We should remember that Hen is also sporting green in this episode - a very bright emerald green as well as Denny in army green and Karen in teal green at various points - they all darken within their own separate arc as well as fitting into the wider arc of the episode (see the Wilson family section at the beginning if you want a reminder).

Chimney wearing army green is showing us that he is ready to fight for his family - for Maddie - so that she can feel safe in her home. 

And Bobby rounds out the green in a bottle green tee and jacket combo which is verdant and shows that his relationship with Athena is in full bloom.

This use of green getting increasingly darker is something we’ve been seeing at play throughout the season - we’ve had it with Buck, particularly in relation to the sperm donor storyline, but also in connection with Hen as well as its abundance in the coma dream. Like I’ve said a million times  green is generally symbolic of growth and what we’re getting with its use in this episode and more widely this season is a deliberate choice to make that growth even more explicit - whatever story arc its connected to - Buck adn the sperm Donor, Hen and her attempts to connect with Denny so she can be a good parent to him and be supportive, or Bobby and his relationship with Athena and how he is getting a better understanding of her and how that is growing his love for her even more.

Blue

The blue doesn’t follow the same linear trajectory as the green - the colour starts dark, lightens up and then heads dark again in the most general sense, but it also brightens as the episode progresses, .

Athena is in both light blue and dark blue here 

while in the same scene Bobby is also in dark blue - they are matching and complimenting each other. Dressing them both in blue at the same time is an indicator of shared trust and loyalty.

Chimney has on a blue jumper here,

which he is wearing over this blue check shirt that we see him in later on, so again dark heading slightly lighter. Check theory was working over time with Chimney in this episode - the only time we see him without check is when he’s in green. That is interesting to me - its making me think that the check is telling us that Chimneys home life is stable and happy, but that his work life might be less so - the blue and the fact that we’ve seen him in check in connection with various members of the firefam in the last couple of episodes - Buck post coma, Hen in this episode, and now Bobby when He and Athena come over for dinner.

Bobby is wearing this dusty blue polo after Rhonda has been caught. 

I should point out here that Maddie is wearing a dark khaki green tee underneath her bright blue shirt which is a clever hint at the fact that this playdate she has set up is a trap - Maddie is waging war - fighting for her home and the ability to live in it without fear. The bright cobalt blue indicates ingenuity and enlightenment - playing into the trap that has been set for Rhonda. It is also a happy shade of blue - bright and cheerful it ties into the idea of comfort and contentment and indicates Maddie being able to return to feeling happy and secure in her home.

And finally we have Athena in this cobalt blue running tee and gilet - its a brighter blue than the cobalt of Maddie’s shirt, almost royal blue - it still shares the meaning though - enlightenment and happiness. Its telling us that Athena is finding joy in discovering both her enjoyment of running and her enjoyment of haring an activity with her husband. The otehr thing to note is a contniation of Buck and Athena being paralleled - here we have her in a blue gilet when she flirts and insitgates shower sexy times shortly after we’ve seen Buck attend the sex gone wrong call - wearing a gilet - with him then checking in on his previous relationships and hook ups to see if they were satisfied sexually with him - the loudness is getting louder! 

Blue is a colour that has been slowly increasing in frequency for Buck and I have a theory about it - bear with me here because we need to look at when he wears the colour - I’m not going to include them all or I’d be her all day - the ones i’ve excluded are either denim shirts/jackets or where blue is one of the colours rather than the only colour of a top!!

Season 1 - Buck and Abby go on a date - the only time we see Buck wear blue in season 1 and its his blue suit (with a white shirt) Season 2 - Buck wears blue 7 times in season 2 but the two key moments we need to look at come early on in the season 2x01 - the blue henley he’s wearing when he finds Maddie in his apartment - its the first non uniform outfit we see him post Abby leaving and comes after Eddie has been introduced (coincidentally this is the same henley we know we’re going to see Eddie wearing later in the season!). the second one comes in 2x04, when Buck talks to Maddie about Eddie struggling with paperwork to get Chris the help and support he needs (its the boy crush conversation!) Season 3 - Buck also wears blue 7 times in season 3. The 3 we need to focus on are; 3x04 Bucky talks to Chase Mackey and sues the city, 3x06 Bucks return to the 118 post lawsuit and 3x16 - Buck goes to a bar and meets Red. Season 4 - the number of blue shirts goes up dramatically to 10 (especially as its a short season) and we’re interested in 6 of them. 4x03 - games night at he Diaz house when Eddie is dismantling technology and Buck has to do some parenting. 4x05 we have 2 - Peru Buck and the blue jacket he wears when Maddie gives him the postcards he sent her over the years. 4x07 Buck tries dating Veronica. 4x12 Buck, Eddie and Taylor discuss the treasure hunt at Bucks loft (petty Eddie drinking beer scene). 4x14 Buck sleeps on Eddies couch and parents Chris after the shooting. Season 5 Buck wears blue 9 times in season 5 and we’re looking at 5 of them, 5x09 Buck washing up in the loft while Taylor is being distant (pink marigolds scene). 5x11 Buck and Taylor have dinner at the Diaz house - Buck and Eddie argue. 5x13 Maddie’s return from Boston and also Buck breaks down Eddies door and was in the room! 5x18 the blue suit he wears to HenRen’s vow renewal. Season 6, we’re just over half way through and are already up to 19 blue buck outfits!! the key ones are 6x01 - the lasagne kitchen scene. 6x02 post convention locker room talk with Hen, 6x04 Madney apartment Buck tells Maddie about the year of yes, a second one is the navy top he wears when getting drunk with Hen and then the blue striped shirt when he tells C&K he’ll be their donor. 6x07 there are 3 blue shirts when he fails to donate sperm, 6x09 when he tells the firefam that his sperm has helped C&K get pregnant. 6x11 when he comes home from the hospital post lightning strike. 6x12 while he’s trying to recover at his loft and then a second one when he has is appointment with Dr Salazar. 6x13 the superpowers scene.

Eddie also wears Blue at some key moments

Season 3 - 3x03 post tsunami ‘theres no one in the world I trust more with my son than you’ scene. 3x4 - chris wakes from a nightmare. 3x09 therapy with frank. 3x12 Chris has his skateboarding accident and Eddie shouts at Ana.  Season 4 - 4x08 Eddie introduces Ana to Chris as his girlfriend. 4x14 - the will reveal. Season 5 - 5x10 Chris has a nightmare. 5x14 dream Eddie in the kitchen serving Chris breakfast. 5x17 talks to Buck about his family - while in Christophers bedroom. 5x18 the suit he wears to HenRen’s vow renewal. Season 6 - 6x08 dressing Chris for his school dance. 6x09, sleeping on the sofa. 6x13 poker night.

Why have I written all of this out you ask - well because I want to show you how all of these scenes (and the ones I’ve not included in the list also fit the theme) are water finding its level related. They are all very key moments when either Buck or Eddie are finding a new level or at turning points - not only in their relationship with each other, but also with Christopher. 

All of Eddies wearing of blue connects to Christopher, until the one from this episode - the first time we see Eddie wearing blue while doing something not related to Christopher. I included the dream sequence Eddie in the list because he literally starts coughing up water. 

As for Buck - again most of the scenes (even the ones with Maddie) are connected to Eddie and Chris in some way, even if indirectly (lawsuit I’m looking at you) There are a few exceptions - such as Maddies return from Boston, the vow renewal suit, Buck washing up or the sperm donor ones and obviously the one from season 1! I included the Abby date one because Buck chokes on water in that scene and the Taylor washing up scene - Buck literally has his hands in water. The vow renewal is Buck breaking freed of his bad relationship. As for the sperm donor arc, while not directly connected to Eddie or Chris, the parenting connection is a key one - after all much of Bucks journey to finding his level is connected to the idea of parenthood and dad not donor v donor not dad.

As for the lighter blue specifically - which is a post Taylor exclusive colour for Buck and ties into the theme of deepening ones understanding of self and the growth that comes from that - the idea of choosing to be happy. Buck choosing to break free of his depressing relationship was him choosing himself, choosing to be happy. The post Lev dying conversation Buck has with hen in the locker room is about Bucks search for happiness - about him wanting to be happy for himself. The phone call where he reveals that C&K are pregnant - that is him being happy for his friends, but also him feeling the glow of happiness from being able to help them achieve that pregnancy. The blue top we had him wearing in MacArthur park in last weeks episode is showing him choosing to move on from his brush with death - accepting it for what it is and choosing to be happy (whether that s just happy to be alive - something he was clearly grappling with, or a more generalised happiness remains to be seen) that is why we see him looking contemplative - he is choosing to put that life changing event away and accept it for what it is and the chance it has given him to be happy going forward. This theming holds true for other characters too - Athena in light blue is about her happiness - getting her parents sorted in the aftermath of her fathers stroke is making her happy.

So this new light blue top we have Buck wearing (which is the most reminiscent of the one Lev is wearing) is very much about him being happy - we see the joy he feels at being good at something, the happiness he gets from being with his Diaz boys and sharing in happy banter with them and basking in the glow of being part of a family.

Christopher 

I’ve saved Christopher for last this week because he also plays into the Blue and green theming - in fact he straddles across the two colours and that makes him interesting. 

Firstly we have this seafoam green tee with a pineapple on the pocket. Not only do we have a pineapple though - no we have a pineapple with a sunset scene in the fruit section. Yes you read that right - it is an actual sunset!!! So here we have a physical embodiment of the sunset theme that has been in play since season 4 - a theme that Christopher has always been connected to indirectly - construction on sunset or Bucks heart drawing with sunset colouring and misunderstanding the assignment - both times when Buck has been babysitting and both in some way connected to Christophers homework -  Ana teaching Eddie Math in connection to the first one - making the whole Ana being construction on the way to Buck metaphor even more obvious, especially now in light of this new homework scene with a sunset incorporated in it!

The pineapple itself is also interesting - there are a couple of meaning we can attach to its use here. Historically, pineapples were status symbols - they were a show of wealth due to the difficulty in growing them. those who could afford them would display them prominently at dinner parties and the like to show their wealth. Here Christopher is the wealth - he is the thing both Buck and Eddie place most highly. and the scene we see this top in proves that - Christopher being an active part of their conversation about Bucks newfound superpowers - his opinions and comments are a valuable pat of the conversation to both Eddie and Buck. Christophers inclusion, comfort and confidence in this dynamic is being highlighted here - showing the difference to how he was treated in the dynamic between Eddie Chris and Ana. 

The modern pineapple meaning is as an emoji - where it is an indicator of relationship status - meaning ‘its complicated’ Need I say more!!!!

Then we have the blue tee from the kitchen cookie scene. A tee with little surfing skeletons on! I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it again. This show is just so so good at using the kids costumes to tell us things. first up the blue - Bucks colour and its important that Chris is wearing it in this scene where he is alone with Buck. I talked about the buck in grey in both the two scenes where he is parenting with out Eddie, well the same rings true for Chris here - he is in blue for both of the scenes (a pale blue long sleeve tee with the dinosaur wearing sunglasses which show space ships in their reflection). then there is the fact that we have surfboards reappearing on Christophers clothing - the surfing thing has always been connected to Buck in some way - both overtly and covertly. Chris was wearing a shirt with surfers on at Bucks recertification party and the last time he wore something surf related (for definite) was in 4x13 - when Carla returned to the Diaz’s and told Eddie to make sure he was following his heart and not Christophers. The other thing to note is that both of those incidents proceeded a major event - the Tsunami and the shooting. this one has skeletons on and thats making me both nervous and excited. We’ve been saying all season that Chris is due some sort of trauma or incident and I’m now very much expecting it to happen in the next two episodes and for it to be something that pushes Buddie even closer together. those Skeletons are (to me at least) suggesting that the current set up of Bucks relationship with Christopher is about to change - that it will become the old version - a dead version and that post event they will have a new and different form of relationship (as in the father-son thing will become more concrete in the same way that Buck and Bobbys has this season) because all of the surfing theming has been used at moments that have really pushed Buck and Christophers dynamic forward and increased the parent-child bond! 

The thing with these to colours is that this season especially, we’ve seen Chris wearing shirts that contain both colours a couple of times - both in and out of dream sequences and both connected to parenting. 

We have Chris breaking his punishment and Eddie being an amazing dad. This one is especially close in terms of colours to the two shades from this episode and now I have more context for it, the smashing and merging of the two colours would appear to be foreshadowing the merging of Buck and Eddie as coparents.

And coma Chris - who Buck has to chose to ignore/ leave behind. leaving him feeling guilty, but actually showing that he is a good parent to Chris because he recognises that he can only get back to the real one if he abandons this Chris (a chris who is a representation of Bucks own childhood abandonment issues - and therefore it is showing us Buck breaking the cycle)

In summation - the use of costume and colour was so much more out there in terms of helping with the storytelling and ensuring the Buck and Eddie as a couple message was made loud and clear - more than we’ve ever seen before - its been slowly ramping up and now they’ve taken the breaks off!!

Thank you as always for reading  - it really does mean the world to me that you're interested in the costuming of our wee woo show!! I’ll shut up now and let you have your lives back. If you’ve made it through the whole thing then you are my MVP and you get this trophy! 🏆 I’m off to rock in the corner now I’ve finished this epic. 

I would tag below but it won’t let me (maybe i wrote too many words 😂 so I’ll be reblogging with the tag list!

Until the next episode! 💜💜💜

[thatgirl4815]

Sand & Ep11

I keep remembering this ask I got a while back, and I think it's important now more than ever.

If I was Sand, I personally would not give Boeing the time of day for what he did to me. I would be livid. I would never speak to him again.

But Sand is not me. Sand is more forgiving than is probably healthy for him. Even though it is something I hope he works on for his own benefit, it doesn't change the fact that for the moment, that is who he is. That's his flaw just as much as it his strength.

Caring for people is generally regarded as a positive trait because it is, but there's a such thing as caring too much for people who do not show that same care back to you. That is the position Sand seems to find himself in continuously. I believe Ray does care about Sand, but it took so long for that to be communicated to Sand in the way he deserves. The reason their relationship has lasted is because Sand does not demand that reassurance the way many people would, even though he might want it. Words of affirmation are not at the top of Sand's love language list.

Abandonment

I don't want to prescribe any definitive long-term childhood response to Sand from what little information we have, but given the emphasis on Sand's absent father, I think it's safe to say that Sand faces some abandonment issues. Growing up, he only ever had his mom; of course he was bound to cling to her very tightly. That is where I imagine his caring behavior has stemmed from most. Additionally, having so few people on his life that he could rely on, he learned to be a support system for others and learn not to complain for what he has.

I think Sand is in a position where he objectively understands that he is mistreated. He admits as much to both Ray and Nick. But he can’t break out of this cycle because there’s a deep-seated fear in him. A fear of being alone? A fear of being abandoned? A fear of not being good enough or “special” to anyone?

I have been wrestling with myself over the past day about Sand’s behavior in Ep11. And I’ve realized that a reason why I feel so ambivalent about it—a reason I don’t like to admit—is because it’s related to Boeing, not Ray.

Sand has received the same criticism he’s facing in Ep11 in past episodes: i.e., “He needs to know his worth and tell off Ray for what he’s doing to him.” A very similar situation has now arisen with Boeing. Sand is once again trapped in the cycle. He is nice to Boeing because even after what Boeing does to him, he cannot handle the thought of banishing him from his life for good—not when Boeing is still here and willing to engage with him. Again, we see the conflict between what he knows he should do and what he defaults to.

I empathize with Sand’s plight here, and I understand that it is difficult for him to react to Boeing and Ray. Where my frustrations arise are in the way he reacts to Ray’s reaction.

Ray is insanely passive aggressive at the end of Ep11. Sand has seen this all before; Ray lingers at the bar after being told to go home, he invites Boeing over without really wanting to invite him over, and he invites Sand to get naked in the pool with them. Each time, Boeing eggs him on by agreeing, playing up the guise of “we’re all friends here!” while simultaneously making both pointed and subtle jabs at his previous relationship with Sand (the most obvious being the “we’ve already seen every part of each other” line).

I’m of the belief that Sand is very aware of how Ray feels, especially in that ending shot when he looks between Ray and Boeing. But he does not ever confront Boeing or disengage from the situation. He’s playing into Boeing’s guise, and both he and Ray know it.

In virtually every part of Part 4, we see Sand caught in this same perpetual cycle where he lets people walk all over him. While I empathize with his struggles, as I said, there's a part of me that believes his boyfriend’s discomfort with the situation should supersede that. He committed to Ray, not Boeing, and this situation with Boeing is posing a threat to that.

This is not me saying that Sand needs to scream at Boeing and cuss him out for what he did to him. But I do think Sand needs to acknowledge much more firmly that he is Ray’s boyfriend. Sand can be nice to Boeing and offer him friendship, but he cannot allow Boeing to make advances on him and hang around with them when Boeing so clearly has other intentions. (There’s an argument that maybe Boeing does genuinely want a friendship with Sand, but after the way he talks with Sand and how he handled the TopMew situation, I don’t believe that for a second).

This isn’t easy for Sand, but when Ray is right there, he has to be more direct. Boeing was his past but Ray is his present. Much like how Sand encouraged Ray to go to rehab, I think Ray will encourage Sand to stand up for himself against Boeing.

[sorio99]

So, I’ve pretty much entirely stayed out of the James Somerton discourse, because frankly, I just didn’t think I had anything that valuable to say. I wasn’t a fan of Somerton’s, I never watched his videos or fell for his lies, the first time I heard of the dude was in HBomberGuy’s video, and the most impact he’s had on my life is encouraging me to watch Todd in the Shadows.

That said, I did have thoughts as things developed, about his “apologies”, about his claims of depression, and even about the “suicide note” he posted to Twitter. But, I really didn’t feel like I had anything to add to the discussion that wasn’t already being said by at least 50 other people.

But uh, I have thoughts. About the latest developments.

One of the thoughts I shelved about Somerton in the past was that I wasn’t sure if the “note” being real or fake was the worse option. I really don’t have much sympathy for James, given some of the really heinous shit he’s said in the past, but I’ve never wanted him dead. I personally wanted him punished for his actions, and then removed from public view; I didn’t think anything he’d done deserved the death penalty.

While I do still think that, him posting a fake suicide note makes me VERY skeptical.

Here’s the thing: I’ve talked before about my struggles with my mental health, with Suicidal Ideation, and just general depression. There have been many times in my life where I have wanted to kill myself, and even one occasion a decade ago where I actively tried.

I’m also not a good person.

A few years ago, I did something bad to someone I cared about. I won’t go into details, for both selfish and non-selfish reasons, but suffice to say, it’s the kind of thing where I think most people would say I deserve some kind of punishment.

And I can say, based on that point in time, based on what I was feeling then, I could very easily believe that someone like James was actually suicidal.

I knew it could still be a manipulation tactic, I knew it probably was one. I even knew that, if it was real, it was still arguably a manipulation tactic. But I genuinely thought there was a chance, even a solid chance, that Somerton had wanted to commit suicide.

That chance has gone out the fucking window.

Let me be clear, also: the fact that James was horny posting on an alternate Twitter account, and engaging with media was not what convinced me that it was all bullshit. As someone who’s used the god damned Professor Layton games as a coping mechanism during depressive episodes, I’ve seen far weirder and worse responses to being suicidal.

It was how he talked about himself, responded to his defenders and accusers. The fact that while people were genuinely panicked at the thought that he might have tried to kill himself, he was purposefully stoking the flames and trying to make himself look better.

James Somerton is a fucking bastard, and I never want to hear from him, or ANY defenses of him, ever again.

[thetarttfuldickhead]

As much as I love Roy telling Jamie he’s proud of him (and then maybe not punching him in the face aftewards, idk, could be a thing) I’ve also grown partial to the idea of Jamie telling Roy that he’s proud of him, ‘cause well, Roy needs a bit of that too, I think.

I haven’t got the details figured, but maybe something vaguely along the lines of the ending to the “My Fallen Idol” episode of Scrubs, where Dr. Cox (having failed to save several of his patients) is depressed, drunk and not talking while unshaven and wrapped in a blanket on his couch. JD shows up, gives him a quiet but heartfelt peptalk and tells him he’s proud of him, because even after so long as a doctor Dr. Cox still cares enough to take it that hard when things go wrong.

So say Roy fucks something up. It’s not necessarily his fault; he does his best given the circumstances or acts unwittingly, but it goes tits up and he ends up making a mess of things. Not a “people died” mess, but still really quite bad. (I honestly don’t know what this could be. Maybe something slightly careless he says blowing up in the media and somehow really fucking over a young footballer? Maybe something else entirely. That’s not the important part.)

And this is Roy, who cares so very deeply but is so very unkind to himself, and the guilt and fucking shame of having fucked someone (especially a young someone!) over like that, particularly when he’s already struggling with the feeling that he can’t change for the better, that he’ll always be the same fucking idiot I’ve always been? Yeah, I don’t think he’d deal very well. He also, and obviously, wouldn’t want to talk about it.

And depending on how much hurt (and comfort) you want from this, you could either simply have Roy pull a Roy and retreat to an ice bath, and Jamie letting himself in like Ted once did, and giving a little (slightly clumsy but very earnest) speech about how fucking proud he is of Roy, and Roy has no fucking idea how to handle all the emotions that inspire, but, yeah. It helps.

Or you can drag it out a bit and have Roy stubbornly insisting he is fine and hiding behind his usually gruff exterior, only he’s not doing fine and eventually he shows up at training still drunk from trying to drown his self-loathing in way too much whisky, and Rebecca takes him home and tries to talk to him, and when that doesn’t work she calls Keeley, and Keeley’s a comfort, she always is, but this time it’s not enough (or just too early). Jamie shows up after training, bringing dinner, and he sits down next to Roy and, again, brings out the speech. It doesn’t magically make everything right, because how could it, but it’s enough to start from. Enough to give Roy the courage to begin anew.

Or if you really want to dial that angst right up, we can have Jamie – like JD in the Scrubs episode – put off visiting, making comments about how it was fucking unprofessional showing up to Nelson Road like that, Roy would have had their heads if they’d tried pulling anything like it, so why should the gaffer get special consideration? Beard and Rebecca and Nate and Isaac and his sister and Keeley all take turns sitting with Roy while he quietly stews in despair on his couch, but Jamie is inconspicuously absent.

Until he isn’t, because of course he relents in the end, and he shows up to tell Roy that yeah, he made it out like he was angry with Roy for showing up drunk, but really he was freaked out because Roy’s always been so fucking strong and Jamie’s always counted on and leaned on that strenght, back when he was a kid and they didn’t know each other and back when they were teammates and fighting all the time and most of all since Roy became his coach and his best friend. Like, Jamie knows Roy isn’t perfect – like, really man, you are not– but Roy’s strenght has been a constant and a comfort in Jamie’s life and having to face that fact Roy isn’t some sort of superhero… that scared him, yeah. But that’s Jamie’s problem, not Roy’s, and so he’s here to tell Roy how fucking proud he is of him, for how much he fucking cares and how hard he works at being there for all of them, even though he thinks he’s no good at it. But you are, yeah? Fucking good at it. But that’s not the really important bit, anyway. The important bit is that you’ve always kept trying, even when that meant doing stuff you fucking hated or were scary or hard. ‘Cause it isn’t easy for you, this shit, but you keep at it anyway, because you care, and that’s… Dead proud of you for that, Roy. Really am.  

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 58 – The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. Le Guin

I originally put a hold on this at the library back in the spring, so by the time I actually got my hands on it I’d entirely forgotten why I’d asked for it specifically. Still, in general I’d been meaning to read more Le Guin (and more classic sci fi/stuff written in previous generations, generally), so it isn’t too mysterious. It’s definitely a meaty read as far as cultural artifacts go, but I must admit that as a reading experience it left me a bit cold.

The story takes place in the distant and futuristic year of 2003, in a Portland that’s rather worse for the wear – overpopulation, widespread and crippling malnutrition even in American cities, a war in the Middle East threatening to spiral out into nuclear Armageddon, climate change has led to mass resettlement away from the coasts, and also its always raining. Into this comes Gregory Orr, a man whose dreams can retroactively change reality. Horrified by this, he almost overdoses on stimulants to avoid sleep – and is basically given court-ordered ‘voluntary’ therapy. Dr. William Haber, after taking a bit to believe him, starts using the magic of hynpotherapy and also Orr being kind of a pushover to trigger, manipulate, and direct his magic dreams and start trying to retroactively fix the world. Because it turns out hypnosis-induced dreams have a lot in common with asshole genies, side effects include a pandemic killing the majority of humanity, an alien invasion, everyone having identically coloured grey skin, and eventually the execution of anyone discovered to have a inheritable medical condition for eugenics reasons. Eventually Haber believes he’s discovered a way to induce the same dreams in himself, and when he tries just kind of breaks reality and himself at the seams. Before he does, he finally cures Orr of the dreams, and amid the ruins he gets a girlfriend (who had in other versions of reality been his lawyer and then dead and then his girlfriend) and settles down to a good life working with his hands.

The overall feel of the book is, like, Seeing Like A State as Twilight Zone episode. There’s a distaste for capital-P Progress – for top-down utopias, technocratic utilitarianism, psychiatry and eugenics and public health initiatives, tolerance through the erasure of differences, bureaucratic work, lives without strife and struggle, and just generally measuring the marigolds – that absolutely pervades the work. It is good and virtuous, the book seems to (or outright does) say, to help people you know and directly around you, and in the face of an apocalypse you do whatever you can. But otherwise, in the course of normal life, thinking you can really improve the world is the height of hubris, and thinking you have any duty to is just disguised megomania – anti-overpopulation efforts lead naturally to democidal plagues, trying to cure cancer to brutal eugenics regimes. The good life is a grounded one, where you have a job where you work with your hands and do something constructive, and don’t mess around with dangerous dreams – the only alternative is playing a cruel god over the masses.

The aesthetic and political revulsion towards 20th century modernism is of a piece with what else I’ve read of Le Guin, but the sort of conservative, struggle-idolizing quietism it puts forward as the positive alternative kind of took me by surprise.

Speaking of overpopulation – as an artifact of anxieties about the future and science, the book is just fascinating. Written in 1970, it really does take it as almost a given that in thirty years overpopulation would be an acute crisis. The numbers actually aren’t far off – a global population of 7 billion is mentioned – but this is taken to mean a world where childhood malnutrition is a fact of life for the average American in the Pacific Northwest, and there’s so much demand for grain-as-foodstuff that a psychiatrist can’t afford brandy. Hypnosis is also treated with a level of seriousness and gravitas that these days its only shown in self-conscious pulp and fetish porn. On the other hand, the fact that a book written in 1970 is talking about ‘the greenhouse effect’ and how climate change is going to cause ruinous natural disasters is, well, deeply depressing.

Completely tangential from everything else – so the only female character in the book is Heather Lelache, a lawyer Orr goes to for help and then a couple reality iterations later starts falling in love with. Or properly speaking after he accidentally dreams her out of existing in the process of abolishing racism, he dreams her back and it’s functionally an entirely different and much meeker and milder person (like, she gets POV chapters, the change in internal monologue is striking) and also goes from ‘lawyer’ to ‘legal secretary’, and he continues falling in love with and marries her. This is never really called out or commented upon but it did strike me enough that I wanted to bring it up as interesting.

Anyway, don’t regret reading this, but probably the Le Guin I’ve gotten the least out of, overall.

[coraniaid]

Most of the notes I made for myself while watching Passion were complaints or criticisms, but I do think it’s worth saying up front that I honestly love this episode.  For all its flaws I completely agree with the popular critical consensus on this one: I think it’s a genuinely great episode of television.  One of the best parts of the high school seasons and quite possibly the highest peak the show has managed to hit so far.

In a lot of ways it picks up where Innocence left off.  Both episodes lean heavily into the metaphorical reading of the newly soulless Angel as an older boyfriend who turned out to be a creep after Buffy slept with him (“Don’t tell me,” says Joyce early on.  “He's not the same guy you fell for.”).  Both episodes work very hard to show us that Angel is not redeemable – first with the Judge last season declaring him “clean” of humanity, now with Angel killing Jenny.  But Passion hits a little harder, I think, because there’s no counterpart to that rocket launcher scene.  The good guys don’t get to enjoy even a partial victory here.

Other thoughts:

I think this is a surprisingly good episode for Joyce, in a way we don’t typically really get until Season 3.  It hits the right balance between showing that Buffy and her mother struggle to communicate but that this doesn’t mean they don’t bother deeply care about each other.  Buffy’s concern for her mother is paramount throughout the first half of the episode (and Giles’ insistence that she can’t tell her mother about being a Slayer is more than slightly hypocritical, given that we’ve already been told that his parents always knew about him being a Watcher).  

Of course Joyce herself isn’t perfect – she doesn’t know the whole story, and yes Angel only tells her that he slept with Buffy because he knows Buffy well enough to anticipate Joyce’s reaction – but however bad The Talk goes it doesn’t feel like this really had as much of an impact as Angel would have been hoping for.  It doesn’t seem to have really damaged their relationship.  I believe Joyce when she says she loves Buffy “more than anything in the world” even if (she thinks) Buffy’s trying to shut her out.  And I think this particular conversation, and the way Buffy can only say “you’re not” when her mother suggests she’s “grossing her out” is the sort of thing Season 5 is calling back to when, three years from now, Buffy will tell Giles that “my mom is gone … and I loved her more than anything … and I don’t know if she knew.”

(I think the shot of Joyce hugging Willow when they get the call from Giles is a nice touch too.  That whole scene from Angel’s perspective is so good, isn’t it?  The whole framing device with his voiceover too.  It should probably be kind of cheesy, but it’s not.  Maybe it helps that I just think Angel is a really fun villain.)

Speaking of that scene: everything between Willow and Jenny is so sad knowing what’s coming up later.  I remember being slightly surprised, back in Season 1, that Willow didn’t seem to immediately warm to Jenny despite their mutual interest in computers (“how come she’s in the club?” she protested in Prophecy Girl).  But I think the show has done just enough by the halfway point of this episode to make it seem credible that of all the Scoobies Willow in particular would be hardest hit by her death.  (The juxtaposition of Willow being excited and eager to take over Jenny’s teaching responsibilities at the start of the episode and then how somber she looks when she is taking over for her at the end is particularly good.)

It rankles slightly, in the way I’ve complained about before, that the script still reduces Jenny to “Giles’ girlfriend” at times and that one of the reactions to her death – by somebody who knew Jenny! – is “poor Giles”.  Nobody even thinks to suggest that Angel might have killed Jenny for some reason other than hurting her boyfriend.  Equally Giles seems unnecessarily dismissive of Buffy’s concern about the fact that Angel has been sneaking into her room at night at the start of the episode.  But the scene with Jenny’s boyfriend attacking Angel in the factory (after the rather complacent advice of “you mustn’t let Angel get to you.  No matter how provocative his behavior may become”) and then Buffy coming to save him, giving up the chance to kill Angel herself to pull him out of the fire, is so good I’m almost persuaded to overlook it.

And the mere fact of Jenny Calendar’s death itself – despite the weird retcon about her past and the fact the show insists she betrayed the Scooby Gang while showing us she didn’t, despite the fact they bury her under a name she never used in the show, despite the fact that after this season ends Jenny’s name will only be spoken on screen twice, despite the fact it establishes the precedent that will later be used for any number of increasingly questionable ‘shocking’ deaths in the Buffyverse – despite everything, it’s still utterly heartbreaking.

Jenny isn’t the first recurring character the show’s killed off, but she’s the first recurring character of any significance (with apologies to Jesse and Principal Flutie).  Or, I suppose, technically she’s just the first recurring character of any significance who dies and doesn’t get better.  The first recurring character who won’t be coming back.  The first recurring character that Buffy and her friends show any sign of missing.  And the first recurring character that the audience will care about losing.

I just think this episode could have been even better if the writers themselves cared about Jenny Calendar at all.

[incorrecttowerofgodquotes]

Gundam: The Witch From Mercury Season 2: Episode 10 Review

- Starting off the episode with a mass murder, beautiful. Though the good thing is that there’s a cool down period so if we can draw out the fight long enough, we may be able to win

- Chuchu begging Secelia despite her being a Spacian, how far we’ve come. And the fact that she hooks her boy Rouji up to get some tech info is also great.

- Felsi is the best girl and I will accept no disagreements. The way Earth House just adopts her like a homeless puppy is funny. Also the fact that she was so willing to do something besides wait for Petra to get better is great. She is the ultimate kusogaki as she is the only one going to the final battle.

- GOD DAMN IT ANIME GIVE ME YOUNG ELAN FOOTAGE!

- I’m guess the backstory was cut due to time constraints but I just want to see who the Elan’s were before they’re unfortunate unpersoning. However, we were still given delicious 5nore crumbs so I will accept it. It’s interesting how El5n stated El4n was the lucky one despite earlier in the series saying he was unfortunate. He finally realized that even though El4n died, he had someone who loved him, and now he knows just how important his actions towards Norea were. His line about envy could be directed at either Norea, Suletta, or El4n, and I hope he finds his own self separate from the Elan persona that had been forced on him

- Suletta and Guel’s duel was so stupid but so adorable. It really hammers home how they’re still children and they’ll do childish things. Also Guel 100% threw that duel, or at least they animated it so it was clear Guel knew how to fence but Suletta was just floundering. He’s the ultimate supporter of lesbians and I love him for that. Please G-Witch, give him a boyfriend. Also Guel slapping himself to remind himself not to butt in on SuleMio’s affairs, lol.

- The talk between Suletta and Miorine with slash playing in the background was just *chef’s kiss* perfect. Right or wrong, and even if there’s nothing to gain, Suletta wants to move forward. And she wants to move forward with Miorine. They have to face their problems head on. They lock fingers, willing to move on together.

- Guess they didn’t have the money for Delling’s VA. But it is nice to see a realistic depiction of a coma patient. Though I’m not sure if he appreciates being yelled at after he wakes up

- What is Prospera searching for? It can’t be the Calibarn. Is it something special Notrette made? And who removed it?

- What deal did she make with Shaddiq? Is she taking his harem squad? Did she plan to work with him on Earth?

- The fact that the tomato is literally embedded with love in its very DNA is beautiful. The tomato has always represented love in this series, and here we see that it’s very creation was because of Miorine’s mother’s love for her.

- Poor Suletta is struggling hard in that Gundam, but also it’s the coolest suit in the show so far. IT HAS A FREAKING BROOM. SHE IS LITERALLY THE WITCH FROM MERCURY. RECLAIM THE SLUR

- Suletta is talented. Aerial used to overshadow as we didn’t know how much handholding Eri was doing, but this proves she’s great even without it. But I don’t think it’ll be enough to defeat Eri all by herself. She needs others to help her. They all need to come together and create a better future!

- Lauda, my son, please stop this. We are destroying the Death Star right now. Have your angst moment later. And dear god don’t make your brother kill you, and don’t die of heatstroke like a dog in a car with the Schwarzette. I’ve seen some people say Guel might die but I reject that reality. After all the suffering he’s been out through, he needs to live.

I feel like we’re in a weird space where there both could and couldn’t be a second half. We have a lot to wrap up, but also we’re closing up Suletta and Miorine’s personal journeys. Though I hope we do get the second half and have it focus on Earth and the Space League. And maybe we’ll get to kill Peil while we’re at it

[shortkingromanroy]

i’ve seen discussion on here about how logan seems to have declined post-episode 1 stroke. he’s colder with his children after that episode (which also may have to do with having them in his pocket again) and is generally quite reckless.

(discussion of gerri and logan under the cut)

it makes me think of the thanksgiving ep where a lot of people, including gerri, witness him hitting iverson with a can. after that, gerri immediately turns on him and joins kendall's coup. when i first watched this ep i assumed that gerri had reached a moral breaking point and could no longer support a man who would hurt a member of his own family. however, having watched the series a few times now, this obviously doesn’t add up - gerri has stood by logan through countless scandals, including cruises, and watched him hit roman, who she obviously cares about. even if these things upset her, she still remains loyal to logan.

so i’m realizing now how the two are connected (logan’s mental decline in s1 and gerri’s siding with kendall during the vote of no confidence): she didn’t turn on logan because hitting a child is so terrible to her that she’d stop acting in her own self-interest; no, the fact that logan would do something so reckless, semi-publicly, showed gerri this mental decline. she was afraid that he’d do something like that in public and fuck them. she wasn’t so much appalled by child endangerment but was more nervous about her own self-interests being compromised.

i think this is an interesting nuance of gerri's character because she is shown to clearly understand right and wrong even when she does things that are wrong. yeah she commits and enables horrible actions throughout the series, but she's not like logan, who doesn't seem to give a fuck about anyone else. (and we can be pretty certain that logan has been that way for a long time, even before his stroke; he's just gotten worse at hiding it.)

gerri has a moral compass. she's just learned to ignore it because she cares more about money and power than said moral compass. on the other hand, i don't think logan really has a functional moral compass. logan's values in any given moment are the values that will serve his own interests best. on the other hand, gerri will always serve her own interests, even if they go against her values.

i think this makes an interesting dynamic between them: gerri seems well aware that logan is an abusive father (and grandfather), a bigot, and generally just a danger to every human being on earth, and she seems to understand that this is bad. however, so long as her interests are being served, she can shove it down. when logan's health declines in season 1 and he struggles to hide his wrongdoing, gerri flips on him and joins kendall's coup out of self-interest.

compare this with the rest of the series, where logan has regained his mental fortitude and his full, terrifying powers of manipulation (see: his conversation with rhea where she finally realizes she "can't see the bottom of the pool"), and gerri is as loyal to him as ever.

we as the audience don’t get much insight into the non-roy characters' personal thoughts and feelings - for example, does frank genuinely care about kendall as a son or is it 100% manipulation? 50%? 25%? do gerri, frank, karl, karolina, and the others feel like the cruises victims genuinely do not count as ‘real people’ or is it just that they’ve picked money over their loyalty to humanity?

i find logan to be a fascinating character and i don't believe he's truly 'evil' - that is to say, he's not a moustache-twirling disney villain. i think everything logan does, he can justify to himself as the right thing to do. he's so good at denial, lying, and manipulation that he's managed to fool even himself. i think this sets him apart from the other characters, even the senior Waystar execs like gerri who have been committing atrocities by his side for decades.

[fnaffersblog]

Wawawa you're fine! I love reading your thoughts about the show. You always have great takes so it's always a treat to read! Honestly you are completely correct that both Sun and Moon have too much problems to work through alone. Like they're getting better, but if someone doesn't intervene soon something is going to happen that might actually cause unfixable damage.

I can't help but wonder if part of New Moon's improvement in the emotions department has to do with Earth. Like it's a given that the old Moon didn't know how to deal with social issues at all, but honestly considering how he came to be it's surprising he wasn't worse off. The newer Moon though had a much more tolerant beginning. Sure it sucked that he literally woke up just to find out that he has a lot of problems to look forward to, but at least he had a supportive family (even if he didn't know them) to help him get his footing. I feel like that helped Moon a lot in being able to process things and helped him have a more healthy mindset. Earth probably led to a good chunk of the positive coping skills. Moon knows Earth is probably the most emotionally intelligent of them all so why not try to emulate some of her caring nature though emulating can only do so much if you're still clueless on the emotional cues :')

Also thank you for saying the part where the old Moon and Sun really didn't know each other as well as they thought they did. I've always sort of had that thought in the back of my mind but I never really gave it much thought, and now I'm sad thinking about how Sun really never got to know old Moon personally before he got erased. Sure the newer Moon is basically the same just reset but there are certain things that the old Moon experienced that the new one will never truly get because it didn't happen to him.

As for the name choice, Spigot is what Lunar named the toy reindeer he got for Christmas :) Also for your consideration, Cherrim for Sun.

I’m so glad folks like my deep dives! Everyone has been so kind in my comments n stuff, I appreciate that a lot, it makes me really happy. I love seeing other people’s long posts too when I pop into the various SaMs tags. It’s always interesting to see how someone perceived an episode differently than I did, I always end up being like ‘I thought that too!’ or ‘I didn’t even notice that!’ when I read other people’s stuff. It’s great, my favorite part of this. :D

“If someone doesn't intervene soon something is going to happen that might actually cause unfixable damage.” So, this. Yes. Yeah. Took the words right out of my mouth. I’ve been thinking this for awhile now.

It’s… a weird situation. Moon’s reset, even though it happened months ago at this point, has thrown a wrench in the situation.

At this point, Moon… doesn’t really have any issues?

Yeah this is all… a mess to talk about lol.

Old Moon? Yes. Old Moon had a LOT of issues he needed to work through. Had he not been reset, I think he’d be at a breaking point right now right alongside Sun, if he wasn’t actively pushing Sun towards one. Or both.

New Moon is… well, I don’t think we’ve really gotten any sort of indication that he’s having trouble reconciling with the reset. In fact, I don’t think we’ve gotten ANYTHING in regards to how New Moon feels about the reset. I did SAY that in the previous post but it was more me waxing poetic and less concrete proof has been provided that he’s struggling with any emotional turmoil due to the reset. At most, maybe he’s stressed with all the stuff that he’s dealing with all at once?

Like, yeah, he’s annoyed and disturbed by the actions of Old Moon and he thinks Old Moon was a dick but like… does he see that as himself? As a different person? Does he ever think about it at all? Is it on his mind a lot, or is it just something he’s reminded of sometimes? Like, Old Moon is just some guy to him people bring up, or whose stuff he has to sort through sometimes. We’ve gotten nothing as far as I can remember. I don’t think we have any perspective on how New Moon sees the reset at all. We don’t know at all. NOTHING. Which is funny because I really did think, well this was such a huge event for us and for the show, there’s gotta be something unresolved there for New Moon but… I don’t know? It feels more like, considering the way he’s reacted when Sun has brought up stuff Old Moon has done… Like, when Sun talks about stuff Old Moon to New Moon did he says things like, ‘you used to do’ or ‘you did before’ or ‘when old you’ and New Moon always just kinda seems to go ‘huh’ or get quiet, sometimes correcting Sun ‘well I can’t do that now’ and then the conversation moves on. At the very least he must know Sun sees it as Old Moon or previous version of Moon and New Moon or current version of Moon. I can see that causing some contention no matter how New Moon perceives Old Moon in relation to himself.

He’s stressed out because he’s juggling a lot of plates right now, for sure. I mean, he was basically just born and now he’s trying to save the world from six different angles, on top of re-learning/learning everything for the first time. I’d be a little irritable too. But I think that that’s it. He’s at most annoyed and a little burnt out, but all that previous trauma is gone and it’s gone for good, if the most recent lore ep told us anything.

Suns isn’t. Obviously, lol. In fact he kinda called this out himself, that Moon just got to start over and Sun doesn’t. Which is going to cause contention from Suns side.

It’s a mess.

Earth is a TREASURE. I love her. She’s a wonderful character and I’m so happy for her inclusion in the show. She fits so well into Sun and Moon’s dynamic, she’s like a piece that was always missing that no one knew about. Had I more time, I’d talk about her for awhile, because she’s such a sweetheart.

But I agree with literally everything you said in the paragraph about her and Moon. I couldn’t say it better myself. Her being around to help contextualize New Moon’s formative experiences alongside Sun has definitely been a massive factor in his changes.

It makes me curious about her relationship with the creator. The Creator refers to her as daughter and Sun and Moon as mistakes (Though he also talks about her as an object, much like he does the others, tools he created to do things. Even so, he is miles more respectful towards her than he is towards Sun and Moon). If she’s anything like Sun and Moon she was ‘raised’ in the sense that she had programs written into her, but her experiences after she turned on were what shaped her current personality. She is SO MUCH MORE well adjusted than Sun and Moon. Does he… love her? She refers to him as father and is defensive about his actions towards Sun and Moon, she took care of him. It makes me super interested to leanr even more about her ‘childhood’ so to say.

I like Earth.

There’s a lot to grieve about in regards to New Moon. I know a lot of folks were holding onto the idea that perhaps there was a way to return Moon’s memories and I’ll admit I was one of those people. But with what amounts to a concrete confirmation from Golden Freddy alongside just the fact that it happened at all, I think it’s safe to say that Old Moon, ALL of Old Moon is gone. There’s more to say about it, but that’s a longer discussion for a different post.

I did not remember that detail about the reindeer for Lunar! That’s perfect. Also how did I not think of Cherrim for Sun?? It’s literally the perfect Pokemon for him! It’s whole gimmick is the sun AND it’s rays look like petals just like Sun’s rays, I LOVE that. Perfect perfect perfect.

[akria23]

Suspect Theory List

I’m continuing with my simplified version of my Suspect Theories so again no charts. Again I’ve put the original sus list and if they’re still active, disproven, or yet to be explored in the series. Some them I’ve shelved & others I’m considering on a small scale.

Looking at the list and seeing the stuff from my first chart is kinda crazy. In hindsight I get why the writer said what he about giving me a reward because damn near every theory I had on my chart has been explore up until this point - Suicide, debt collector, hiding, drug overdose, Prom being Mask Dog. The only things I had that haven’t been explore was Split Personality & Coma and funny enough I still have them there because whose to say Nant/Nont ain’t in a psyche ward or hospital bed stuck in a hallucinogenic dream where he has split himself into two separate people. I don’t think so…well not reeeeally.

At this point anything’s possible. I don’t know how to feel though cause imagine all of my theories making it into the series and none of them being THE right theory. Like yeah he was overdose but if it wasn’t under the circumstances I originally theorize then that’s like a half a point imo. There’s always stuff I feel like I missed because of my own biases - like Prom working with Nant for his escape. I feel like I should’ve caught that possibility for sure but because of how I felt Nant viewed Prom I assumed he wouldn’t have went to him for that but it makes so much sense in hindsight. They’re probably gonna gag me in the end. Like imagine Puen is the killer - I don’t think he’s on anybody’s list despite him teasing his own possible badness in the earlier episodes. My mom played catch up right before episode 10 & Aob was actually on her suspect list. She was so satisfied seeing his actions in episode 10.

Anyway, let’s get into the update…

NUTH ❓ Still active

- Originally the series was building a case against Nuth - he seemed like an obsessive, possibly violent, and possessive individual who was attached to & influencing Nant’s life. I felt he could be a major red herring, however when the narrative shifted to paint Nant as the possibly violent one while victimizing Nuth, I felt there were a few threads left unanswered & a possibility that Nuth might not be a reliable narrator/source.

NOBODY

Theory A: Suicide ❌ Disproven

- Theory built on the idea that Nant may have been struggling with unhappiness & his circumstances to the point of self harming.

- This theory was explored in episode 7 & 8 wherein Nuth claims Nant committed suicide due to pressures of his debtors but Prom & the Baddies feel the suicide video was just a set up video by Nant to fake his death because the clip was sent to Nuth, his laptop was found elsewhere & there was no body found.

- In episode 10 Nant death was ruled as an accidental overdose. Though one could commit suicide by overdose I’m still taken this confirmation as a disproved theory for now.

Theory B: Split Personality 🔆 Unexplored

- Theory built on the idea that Nont/a ant ks actually one person who struggles with split personality or an identity crisis.

- Theory has yet to be explored within the story.

Theory C: Debt Collector❗️Currently Exploring

- Theory was built on the idea that the debtors Prom mentioned when he first met Nont likely wasn’t Soong cause he would just said his name (and Soong admitted that Nant has paid him back). This idea branched off into 3 mini theories of what could’ve happened to Nant if he was indebted to drug dealers…

- Hiding: ✔️ Confirmed

* Theory is self explanatory. Prom faked his death and went into hiding from his debtors.

* This theory was confirmed if Prom’s testimony is to be believed and the fact that Nant’s body was fresh means he was atleast alive until 2 days before the discovery of his body.

* Given episode 10 it seems there may of course be more to the story.

- Coma: 🔅 Unexplored

* Again this one was self explanatory. If Nant owed a large sum of money they may not have minded harming him if he couldn’t pay up. This would’ve explained the lack of a body & communication on Nant’s side of things. Again this may be disproven soon as well if the clip at the end of episode 8 was really Nant’s corpse.

* I could slide this one to disproven but my second theory for Coma is that Nont is actually in a coma and all of this is one big coma dream. So I’ll leave this one as unexplored for now.

- Drug overdose:❗️ Currently exploring

* This one didn’t really have much to do with the debtors other than it being drug related. The theory is built on the concept that Nant may have had a bad reaction or an accidental overdose on drugs he was either using or unknowingly took & those around him either left him for dead or got rid of his body afterwards.

* So death by overdose has been confirmed - they state accidental but so he could’ve been hiding out and meeting someone & overdose & they dumped his body.

* Or he could’ve been intentionally drugged and then his body disposed of.

Shelved: 🛑

- Prom: Is still currently on the self even though I have to admit I can still see a path for him to be the killer but this deep in the story I feel like there’s better possibilities & likelihoods.

- Porsche: I actually do have a theory and a possible motive for him to be a killer but I really don’t wanna put it on the board without some evidence that it’s really a possibility- simply because of subject matter behind this particular theory. So imma keep him on the shelf unless I see clues pointing to my theory.(One day imma have to write a post about how I can love a Vegas but don’t see it at all for a Porsche).

- Keen: This one is of no surprise to me because I had more reasons listed for why I felt it was him but felt I had to add him to the possibility because of the mask link.

Possible additions: ⁉️

- Daddy Jason: Last time I said he HAD to be guilty something but I’m actually unsure about this one because while I think he’s a bad guy I don’t know if I’d say he’s the actual killer. For one the method of death. In the trailer we saw Jason put a bullet between a man’s eyes - why would he use his product to kill Nant when there’s easier s ways? Even if we say he wanted to kill him inconspicuously, an overdose naked in the woods is not that at all.

- Zouey: I know Zouey is a Baddie and a fan favorite which makes him less likely the killer BUT if this was a normal thriller ran by normal thriller rules Zouey would be everyone’s prime suspect. He’s the least likely, he’s well liked which makes him a suspect all in his own. But what puts Zouey on a list for me is the fact that he was supposedly SO close to Nant yet Nant didn’t go to him for help - atleast not at first from what we know. But he could’ve reached out to him later & Zouey could’ve used that advantage. I don’t think drugs or the debt would be Zouey’s motive of course - the overdose would have just been a convenient weapon given Nant’s drug history. There’s also the fact of us never getting to see Zouey/Teena’s for all we know they could’ve went and murdered Nant together & lied about having sex instead. Do I think Zouey will actually be the killer? Probably not but I wanted to add him regardless 😂 At least one of my crazy theories gotta make the board.

- Tutor: This one may feel a bit random BUT everyone in the series has something to do with Nant - even Phop had a connection of suspicion by having Nant’s laptop. And we don’t know much about tutor other than he’s a reporter so it’s difficult to build a case against him but If I remember correctly there was a message between Tutor & Nant about looking into Jason. Tutor could’ve at one point been working with Nant (or pretending to) and later turned on him. I haven’t been able to work a motive so he’s just on the possibility list.

Suspicious but don’t make the list (yet):

- Aob: Is one of those ppl who should be on the list because after the last episode he seems mad sus, however, while he seems to be working for Jason and could’ve gotten rid of Nant cause he was a threat to Jason (if he’d been trying to find dirt on him with Tutor like it seemed) but he just doesn’t make the cut for me. That may have more to do with feeling he’d be more of a stereotypical choice than any real possibility of him not being the killer tho.

- Things I still wonder about…

* Does Zouey identify as Demisexual, Placiosexual or something else?

* What is the handprint at Nuth’s house all about if he didn’t murder anyone?!

* Why did they cut the ZoueyTeena scene…Because I don’t know my brain keeps thinking maybe ZT are lying for some reason.

* 2/3 projects I’ve seen from the writer (this being the 3rd) there’s usually atleast 1 pairing that does not make it…will that trend carry into Playboyy? And if so which pairing not making it (I think about this a lot actually).

* Why was Nant found naked…

* Why the narrative around the twins being so similar when the only area the seem similar in is how they enjoy sex.

* Jason seems like the quid-pro-quo type so what does Prom have to do to be taken care of, to be the host of Playboyy rather than one of the men on the menu like Aob?

[noctusfury]

My HTTYD Fanfic Ideas — X Leaves Berk AU Series

If you wanna check out the article (written by yours truly) that started all this, please click here and enjoy!

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If you’re interested in checking out my list of story ideas about Hiccup leaving Berk, please go to this post here!

Hiccup Leaves Berk AUs || X Leaves Berk AUs

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These fanfic ideas for another series of mine focuses on changing the trope a bit where instead of Hiccup leaving, other characters will have their chance to leave Berk — one way or another, for one reason or another. Whether they RETURN to Berk is up to them.

The X-Leaves-Berk Series will be loosely connected but not much. Each will be stand-alone stories — with each of them set at different times for different reasons — though some of them will be connected to other separate Series.

I’m wanting this long-term project because I’ve never seen any fanfics where the rest of the Gang leave Berk besides Hiccup (and sometimes Astrid who goes with Hiccup). So I’m deciding to fix that. I’m actually quite excited about this series! ^_^

Aside from the Gang, I plan on doing stories for Stoick, Spitelout, Alvin, and Valka for this series. (Valka’s saga will be original and won’t follow the “canon” backstory given to her in HTTYD 2.) Heck, I might even do some Sagas for GUSTAV and MILDEW, of all Vikings. lol XD

Gobber, Dagur, Heather, and other characters might also have Sagas of their own but won’t be part of this Series (since they don’t leave Berk). Or maybe I will... who knows?

Some of these stories will follow canon events, such as Alvin getting banished from Berk and Stoick searching for his wife and hunting Alvin, Heather returning home, etc. While others will NOT, such as Valka’s backstory, “Traitor Johann”, Vigilante Heather, the non-Viking-like appearances of the DOTW and Wingmaidens, etc. I might even get rid of the Dragon Hunter arcs entirely. We’ll see.

Here is the list of people I plan on writing fics for for this series:

• Snotlout • Astrid • Fishlegs • Tuffnut and Ruffnut • Heather • Macey (yes, the mace gets its chance to shine, too) • Stoick • Valka • Alvin • Gustav • Mildew • Spitelout • Drift/Rig (OC) • And maybe others...

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Snotlout’s Saga (A Snotlout Leaves Berk AU)

Set in RoB. Saga AU. Snotlout loses the Thawfest Games, and has to deal with the aftermath. When things get out-of-hand, Snotlout and Hookfang are forced to leave Berk and become Outcasts. This saga will focus on their journey, their struggles, their successes, their losses, their sacrifices, and their growth.

This story will be set during/after the RoB episode “Thawfest” onwards and ends after RTTE but before HTTYD 2. And because Snotlout leaves so early, much of the plot will be changed. I have, in fact, been watching the show VERY closely and have been taking notes at what exactly gets changed and how to write accordingly. Surprisingly, Snotlout actually affects much of the plot. Some episodes will be gone, others will be greatly altered, and others not much will change.

I might also do a companion story for this that gets into the Gang’s POV during Snotlout’s exile, just so that you guys can see the changes caused by Snotlout’s absence. I don’t plan on doing this for the other Gang members. Only for Snotlout. Because he’s fun. lol XD

A Jorgenson’s Vengeance (A Snotlout Leaves Berk AU)

When Snotlout’s mother and little sister get abducted by raiders on their way to visit family, and Spitelout dead, Snotlout vows vengeance and rides out to find the culprits and send them all to Niflheim!

(May or may NOT be the sequel to “Snotlout’s Saga”. Depends on whether I kill Spitelout off in that one or in this one. Buuut I’m thinking not.)

Saga of the Dragon Riders (A Gang Leaves Berk AU)

Set in RTTE. After being accused by other Tribes for attacking trade ships and other targets, putting Berk into the spotlight of political and diplomatic ire, the Dragon Riders are forced to leave Berk until the matter is settled and they can prove their innocence. As they establish a base for themselves, they plan on hunting down the culprits who are responsible for attacking trade routes and other targets. But it’s not going to be easy, and gossip flies faster than a Night Fury. 

And what’s worse? Oh, nothing. Just a bunch of Rogue Riders that are slippery, experienced, and don’t want to let go of their hard-won loot nor want to step up and take responsibility for their crimes and for framing them.

Can they succeed in defeating this band of marauders? Will they forever remain Outcasts? Or will they become fish food in Ran’s domain?

Bon Voyage! | Welcome to Viking Training! (A Gang Leaves Berk AU)

Set in HTTYD 1 / Post-HTTYD 1 | RoB/DoB. 

Dragon Training isn’t the only thing young Vikings-in-Training have to know, there’s Viking Training as well, a program where young Vikings-to-Be learn to sail and repair longboats, navigate, fish, hunt, and other tasks. But the most important skill of all is learning to raid! After all, dragons aren’t the only pests that a Viking has to deal with — other Viking clans are also a problem. A constant fight for resources and territory is a given in an Archipelago where life is rough and often short, and the weather is even worse.

So the Gang, plus Gobber and some others, are tasks with sailing a longboat from Berk and learning to become Vikings before they can become true members of their community.

Can Hiccup the Gang manage to bear through Gobber’s tough training and make it through unscathed? Can they succeed and become full-fledged Vikings of Berk? Or will they fail and be forced into exile?

(Hiccup will be more competent in various things than he was in canon, and will also be better at weaponry and will be physically stronger.)

Going A-Viking! (A Fishlegs & Snotlout Leaves Berk AU)

Set in RoB/DoB or RTTE. Seeking adventure, fame, and glory — and riches beyond one’s imaginings — Snotlout convinces Fishlegs to join him on an adventure outside of Berk, and outside of books! What will their adventures and quests bring them into? Where will it take them? Will they succeed and bring home a wealth of riches and tales to tell? Or will they find out that leaving Berk was a terrible idea and wish they had stayed home?

Disowned Sons (A Hiccup & Snotlout Leaves Berk AU)

Set in HTTYD 1 or RoB/DoB. Hiccup and Snotlout may not see eye-to-eye most of the time, but they have more in common than they think. For one, they’re both disappointing sons of dissatisfied fathers who expect great things from them than what they actually bring to the table (each in their own way). 

This boils to such a peak that when the two boys start having a fistfight with each other in public, the two heads of the two clans decide to exile them for three years in order to whip them into shape (though they secretly do it because they’ve had enough of their unfruitful progress). And thus the two lads are kicked off Berk and are left to fight for themselves.

Can Hiccup and Snotlout overcome their stark differences in order to survive and overcome all the trials, obstacles, and dangers that the Archipelago can offer them? Or will they be food for the fishes, slaves for the slavers, or appetizers for the dragons?

Fishlegs the Outcast (Fishlegs Leaves Berk AU)

Set in Post-RTTE / HTTYD 2. Impressed by Fishlegs’ heroics over the past year, Alvin the Trustworthy (formerly the Treacherous) comes to Berk to ask Stoick and Fishlegs’ parents if he could adopt him as his heir of the reformed and reinstated Outcasts (now Incasts?). Will Fishlegs accept this surprising and golden opportunity? 

Astrid’s Saga (An Astrid Leaves Berk AU)

Set in RoB/DoB. It has been 9 years since the Flightmare came to Berk, killed her Uncle Finn, and tarnished her family’s honor and her uncles. Despite knowing that the Flightmare will return to Berk in less than a year, and that it’d be smarter to stay on Berk, Astrid allows her bloodlust and thirst for vengeance to not let her wait any longer. She declares to the family that she wishes to start a Quest to hunt the Flightmare and kill it before it even comes to Berk.

Despite protests from the older members, there are some who side with Astrid: Finn’s daughters and wife, her uncle and cousins, and her good friend Fjord Fjardson. They eventually end up convincing the Patriarch of their Clan and, despite the protests from her other friends and family, the date is set and a ship and dragons are prepared for the journey.

The Hoffersons are out for blood, but will they find the Flightmare? Or will they fail, and have to wait another 10 years for their chance at settling the score?

Fishlegs’ Saga (A Fishlegs Leaves Berk AU)

Set in DoB or RTTE. Ever since he was young, Fishlegs had a hunger for adventure, to sail throughout the Archipelago and beyond — meeting different peoples, eating different foods, smelling different spices, reading different books, speaking different languages... everything! He had hoped that he could’ve went with his uncle during the Dragon Raids, but his uncle always refused, and taking care of the family always took precedence. 

But now? But NOW? His uncle had returned to Berk, a wealthy merchant and tales to tell — and is now offering him an invitation to travel with him! A whole new world has opened up to him! What experiences and adventures shall the young Ingerman sail through? What people shall he meet? Will he ever return to Berk after he satisfies his wanderlust? Will he even WANT to?

The Thorston Saga (A Twins Leave Berk AU)

There are 3 different scenarios/story ideas for this:

Set in DoB. After having caused mayhem one time too many, Ruffnut and Tuffnut get exiled from Berk. With nowhere else to go, they decide to either join the Outcasts, the Berserkers, or explore the world on their own.

Set in RoB/DoB. A storm hits when Tuffnut is taking a nap on the boat, and the storm sends him away from Berk into the open sea. With no idea how to get home, Tuffnut has to do his best to survive until then. Meanwhile, Ruffnut discovers that Tuffnut’s missing, and with the Riders gone on a mission, it’s up to her and Barf/Belch to search for and rescue Tuffnut. Will she find him in time before something bad happens to him?

Set in DoB. Macey has been stolen! And it’s up to Tuffnut to hunt the blaggard down and take Macey back! But he won’t be hunting alone: Ruffnut, naturally, is coming along for the ride, despite her grumblings. After all, somebody’s gotta witness Tuffnut’s legendary feats (or glorious and grisly death). Beware of Tuffnut, the World’s Most Dangerous Weapon!!!

(Disclaimer: this last story idea is not connected to “Macey’s Saga”.)

Ruffnut the Wingmaiden (A Ruffnut Leaves Berk AU)

Set in RTTE. Ruffnut, upon bonding with Wingnut and being able to fly, decides to have a little change of pace and quits being a Dragon Rider in favor of joining the Wingmaidens, effectively leaving Berk as a member. Will she regret it? What future awaits her? Will she end up enjoying being a Wingmaiden, or will she wish to return to her friends after a spell?

Ruffnut's Saga (A Ruffnut Leaves Berk AU)

Set in RTTE. After Tuffnut’s death, Ruffnut, grief-stricken, decides to quit the Riders and leave Berk, accepting Throk’s proposal and joining him on Caldera Cay. 

Will she be able to pick up the pieces of her heart and be able to move on and find happiness in her new life?

Tuffnut’s Saga (A Tuffnut Leaves Berk AU)

There a 2 story ideas for this:

Set in DoB. Disenchanted with the Berkian lifestyle, and having enjoyed his time with the Outcasts during his espionage days as a scout during the Wars against the Outcasts and Berserkers, Tuffnut decides to leave Berk and become an Outcast.

Set in DoB/RTTE. Tuffnut gets an offer to become a Berserker by Heather and her cousin Thorvald (OC) on account of his achievements in battle as well as his Berserker heritage. Tuffnut decides that it’d be more fun being with them than with the boring Berkians.

Macey’s Saga (A Macey Leaves Berk AU)

Set in RoB/DoB. Eager to get away from Tuffnut and find a new owner/master, Macey manages to get itself onto a ship and away from Berk, finally free from Tuffnut’s craziness. But will she be able to stay away for long, or will Tuffnut find Macey again? 

Will it manage to find a new owner before it gets found by Tuffnut? Or would it just be better to plop in the deep Northern Seas and rust and rot away from salt and time?

Gustav’s Saga (A Gustav Leaves Berk AU)

Set in RTTE. Gustav has always wondered where his father had gone, and why his mother never seemed to talk about it or even care to. With Gustav having come of-age, he decides that it’s time to explore the Archipelago and turn it upside down and inside-out in search of his father.

Will Gustav ever find his father, or will he find something better and move on? What will happen if and when he ever reunites with him?

Alvin’s Saga (An Alvin Leaves Berk AU)

Pre-HTTYD. This follows Alvin during and after his banishment and his joining the Outcasts, as well as his adventures and exploits that would eventually lead to him being called “Alvin the Treacherous.”

Mildew’s Saga (A Mildew Leaves Berk AU)

Set in RoB. This follows Mildew during the events of “We Are Family”, the finale episode of Riders of Berk, and after he gets banished and becomes an Outlaw. What became of him afterwards? Is Fungus still alive after all that, or did he become... lamb chops?

Heather’s Saga (A Heather Leaves Berk AU)

Post-“Heather’s Report”/RoB/DoB. After Heather reunites with her parents, she leaves Berk and her new friends behind as they sail back home and returns to their old lives. But not everything will be the same. 

Unlike in-canon, her family and Tribe won’t perish at the hands of Dagur. This may also become a companion piece for “Snotlout’s Saga” and also the “Retelling Series”.

Stoick’s Saga (A Stoick Leaves Berk AU)

Pre-HTTYD. When his father dies as a result of Alvin’s insubordination, and the latter having fled Berk, Stoick and Spitelout vows to hunt him down. Will they be able to find him and bring him to justice?

20 years later, Stoick leaves Berk again in order to search for his wife, who, with Osvald, had gone on a Quest to find out how and why the Dragon Raids were happening, and where the source was, but had yet to return. Will he be able to find them, or will he fail? Or will he find them dead?

Valka’s Saga (A Valka Leaves Berk AU)

Pre-HTTYD. Wanting to find answers concerning the Dragon Raids and how to put a stop to them, she leaves on a Quest along with Chief Osvald of Berserk in search of those answers, leaving her family behind. Will she and Osvald find what they’re looking for? Will she be able to return to Berk? Will she be able to end the Dragon Wars?

Toothless' Saga (A Toothless Leaves Berk AU)

Set in Post-HTTYD 2 | HTTYD 3 | Post-HTTYD 3. When Toothless meets up with his old thunder of Night Furies, he decides, with Hiccup’s help, to leave Berk to visit the home he had once lived in before he had been cruelly torn away from them thanks to the Red Death. What will he find there? Are his parents still alive? Will he even want to return to Berk when he does get to his old home?

Another variation is Hiccup gets abducted and Toothless rides out to find him throughout the Archipelago.

Drift’s Saga (A Drift/Rig Leaves Berk AU)

Set in RoB | DoB | RTTE. When Drift discovers and reunites with his real parents for the first time, the young man is torn between remaining with his adoptive family whom have been with him for most of his life, or to live with his real parents whom he has just reunited with. Hiccup and Stoick encourage him to follow his heart and to go with his family if he so desires, and that he’s always welcome to return if he should so wish it.

Encouraged, Drift (now renamed Skathgard the Younger) returns to his home island with his family. Will he like this new life with the family he had always wondered about in his dreams? Will he want to stay, or will he decide to return to Berk?

[This will be a Canon Divergence to my Retelling HTTYD series.]

[the-rewatch-rewind]

New episode! Script below the break

Hello and welcome back to the Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane, and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most-watched movies in 20 years. Today I will be talking about #38: MGM’s 2001 comedy Legally Blonde, directed by Robert Luketic, written by Karen McCullah and Kirsten Smith based on a novel by Amanda Brown, and starring Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, and Selma Blair.

Legally Blonde is the story of Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon), who thinks her boyfriend Warner (Matthew Davis) is about to propose, but instead he dumps her because he thinks she’s too frivolous for him. So to prove him wrong, Elle gets into Harvard Law School, which is where Warner is headed, but when she arrives she finds that he has already gotten engaged to another law student, Vivian (Selma Blair), who fits into the law school scene much better than Elle does, at least at first. After many setbacks, Elle starts to realize that she’s actually more interested in becoming a lawyer than winning back her boyfriend.

I still vividly remember the first time I was made aware of this movie. I happened to walk into the room where my mom was watching it, and she was at the scene in the restaurant when Elle thinks Warner is about to propose, and I thought it looked like the worst movie ever, and I immediately left in disgust. At some point around then I also saw part of the trial scene as an example of how courtrooms are portrayed on screen, but I don’t think I put together that they were from the same movie. Once I actually gave Legally Blonde a chance and sat down and watched the whole thing, I absolutely loved it. The first time I watched it was in 2006, and I saw it five times in that year alone, and then three times in 2007. After that I calmed down a bit, and watched it once each in 2008, 2010, 2011, 2014, 2016, 2018, and 2020. So I’ve seen it 15 times, and over half of those were just in 2006 and 2007. I think it’s appropriate that my first impression of Legally Blonde turned out to be so inaccurate because that’s basically the theme of this movie: so many people misjudge and underestimate Elle, and she proves them all wrong in an extremely satisfying way, just as the movie turned out to be far more intriguing and powerful than it appeared from that one out of context scene. This was a good and important lesson for me to learn as a teenager, and I really do feel like this movie helped me become a less judgmental person overall.

Given my emphasis in the previous episodes on how much I love that Mary Poppins and Emperor’s New Groove don’t have romantic storylines, it may seem strange to immediately pivot to a romantic comedy, but Legally Blonde is no ordinary rom com – in fact, I’m not convinced it even is a rom com. Though the story begins romantically, with Elle focused on marrying Warner, as it progresses the romantic aspect becomes less and less important. Watching Elle realize that she doesn’t have to just be the trophy wife of a successful man, which was the only future she’d been able to see for herself before, is beautiful. And while there are some romantic elements to the rest of the story, the movie places just as much, if not more, emphasis on friendship than romance, something I personally would love to see more of.

From the very beginning, even when Elle thinks she’s getting engaged, we see her surrounded by her sorority sisters. And after the breakup, those same friends help her work on getting into law school. They don’t really understand her struggles once she’s there, but two of them do show up to her first trial, which I love both because they’re very funny and because it shows that you don’t have to fully understand a friend to support them. The first close relationship Elle forms after moving to Harvard is a friendship with manicurist Paulette, played by the fabulous Jennifer Coolidge. Granted, a significant part of their friendship involves dating advice, which I don’t love – I think my least favorite part of the movie is the whole “bend and snap” scene, it just never made sense to me – but there’s a lot more to it than that. Elle helps Paulette get her dog back from her ex, and Paulette helps Elle gain confidence in her new role as a law student. This relationship helps Elle through the toughest part of law school when all the other students disdain her, although eventually she befriends some of them. It’s awesome to watch Vivian and Elle go from rivals to friends as they both realize that Warner isn’t good enough for either of them. Elle also befriends David Kidney (Oz Perkins) – again initially by helping him get a date, but their friendship soon progresses beyond that. Also fun fact that I just relatively recently learned – Oz Perkins is the son of Anthony Perkins, as in, the Anthony Perkins who played Norman Bates in Psycho.

And speaking of movie stars from the 1960s, Raquel Welch makes an appearance in Legally Blonde, as Mrs. Windham Vandermark, the first wife of the murder victim in the trial that is the main focus of the second half of the movie. One of Elle’s professors, Callahan (played by Victor Garber), is defending the victim’s second wife, who is accused of the murder, and Elle is one of the interns helping with the case. The team sends Elle to interview the first wife when they find out she’s at a spa because they assume she and Elle will get along, but they very much do not, which is another example of characters misjudging and misunderstanding her. Elle does, however, get along very well with the defendant, Brooke Taylor Windham (Ali Larter), who was in the same sorority as Elle, though not at the same time. Most of the legal team seems to think Brooke is probably guilty, but Elle knows she’s not, using the flawless logic that since Brooke is a prominent fitness instructor, and therefore exercises a lot, as I quoted at the end of last episode, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands. They just don’t.” The rest of the team doesn’t exactly buy this, but Elle’s belief in her leads Brooke to trust Elle more than she trusts anyone else, and that, in addition to Elle remaining true to herself despite being encouraged not to, is what allows them to win the case.

So far I’ve neglected to mention Emmett (Luke Wilson), the lawyer who supports and believes in Elle, and apparently starts dating her after the trial. I personally don’t love that they end up together, I feel like it kind of undermines the message that she doesn’t need romance to be fulfilled, although it is pretty clear that this relationship is just icing on the cake rather than her whole reason for being, in contrast to her relationship with Warner. Elle and Emmett do have some cute scenes together, but we don’t really see them interact in a way that indicates they’re anything other than friends. The movie never really feels like it’s about their romance, which makes sense because originally they weren’t even meant to officially end up together.

The film was going to end with Elle walking out of the courtroom after winning the case. The scene of her dumping Warner plus the whole epilogue with her graduation speech and the words on screen explaining what happened to everyone were added because test audiences thought the story felt unfinished. While it is extremely satisfying to watch her telling off Warner and to know for sure that she excelled in her remaining two years of law school, it’s a little frustrating to know that in the original version I would have been able to cling to my headcanon that Elle and Emmett were friends. From a storytelling perspective, I appreciate the symmetry of beginning with Elle thinking she’s about to get engaged and ending with her actually about to get engaged, but from an aroace perspective, I’m irritated that marriage has to be part of the happy ending even in this otherwise romance-light film. I’m happy for Elle that she found someone who loves her for who she is, but I don’t like the implication that every close, supportive relationship between a man and a woman must necessarily be romantic and sexual. It also bothers me that the ending tells us that Warner has no girlfriend as if singleness is the worst possible fate, although that may be an unfair interpretation. We’ve seen that he doesn’t really treat women as people, so it’s probably good that he doesn’t have a girlfriend, and it also says that he graduated with no honors and no job offers in addition to no girlfriend, so it’s not like singleness is his only punishment. I just don’t like how often singleness is treated as the just deserts of the villain, as if being single is inherently miserable. But the ending doesn’t say anything about Vivian having a new boyfriend, just that she dumped Warner and is now friends with Elle, so it’s not quite as straightforward as the heroes get romance and the villains are single, which I appreciate.

Even with this ending, Legally Blonde is very clearly a movie about identity and friendship and integrity that also includes some romance, not a romantic film. So it’s very interesting to me that it is often categorized as a romantic comedy. It’s almost like the fact that it’s pink and has a female protagonist and was written by women leads people to assume it must be a “chick flick”, and obviously all chick flicks are rom coms because all women want is a fluffy story about a woman falling in love with a man, right? I want to make it clear that I’m not disparaging rom coms or the people who enjoy them; what I’m criticizing here is the all-too-common practice of shoving rom coms along with any other movie marketed toward women into the same inferior category. The funny thing is, by seeing these movies this way, people are making the exact same mistake Warner makes at the beginning of Legally Blonde (and admittedly the same one I made before I’d watched the whole thing) of equating femininity – or at least, a certain type of femininity – with frivolity. But just as Warner turned out to be the loser when he dumped Elle, people who dismiss this movie are missing out. It is delightful and powerful, and Reese Witherspoon’s performance in particular is fabulous. Her comedic timing and sensibilities are flawless. And the feeling of watching her in the courtroom after Elle takes over the case, start off floundering and unsure of herself, and then seeing that lightbulb go off when she figures it out, is so elating. A big part of what makes that moment so satisfying is how realistically and sympathetically Elle has been portrayed throughout the movie. It would have been easy to make a character like this too over-the-top and ridiculous, but the writing and acting keep her grounded and real while also portraying her as quirky and unique, and the movie is worth watching for that alone.

However, I must say that certain aspects of Legally Blonde have not aged particularly well. For example, it bothers me more and more that, with Brooke’s alibi that she doesn’t want to reveal, they get so close to addressing the harm of placing impossible body standards on women, but don’t quite go there, portraying Emmett as unreasonable for pointing out that she made her fortune by telling women that they’re too fat. The movie also has a few gay characters, but the representation leaves much to be desired, as one might expect from a film made in the early 2000s. They’re basically reduced to stereotypes, and the public outing of a gay man against his will, based on his knowledge of shoe designers, is played for laughs – although, while outing someone is horrible, I would argue that lying about sleeping with someone to get them wrongfully convicted of murder is worse, so…it’s complicated. But, like forcing the happily ever after to include romance after emphasizing that romance is not the most important thing, the movie again undermines its own message here. It’s odd that it puts gay people into stereotypical boxes when the whole story is about how people are so much more than the way society sees them. As a queer teen who didn’t know I was queer, just that I was somehow different from most of my peers, it was incredibly satisfying to watch Elle learn that she didn’t have to fit into a pre-existing mold and could just be herself. But in some ways now it kind of feels to me like it’s saying, “Be yourself and don’t care what other people think of you – as long as you end up in a heterosexual relationship” and I don’t love that. So that’s probably part of why I don’t watch it as much anymore. But I don’t mean to imply that these problems completely ruin the movie; it still has a lot of great moments, and I would still recommend it. I should also mention that I’ve never read the book this movie is based on or watched the sequel, and I’ve also never seen or listened to the musical adaptation, so it’s possible that some of these issues might be at least somewhat rectified in one or more of those versions.

Overall, despite its flaws, this is a movie that encourages people to embrace the parts of their identity and personality that others dismiss, and that was a message I desperately needed to hear as a teenager. There are certainly other movies that portray this even better, but Legally Blonde happens to be one that I latched onto, probably at least partly because I had such low expectations and was then pleasantly surprised.

Thank you for listening to me discuss another of my most-rewatched movies! Remember to rate and leave a review if you want, and subscribe or follow to hear more. Next up is another movie I watched 15 times while keeping track that is only two minutes longer than this one, although unlike Legally Blonde I had seen it multiple times before 2003. As always I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”