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evangelineshifts · 4 months

Text

OH MY GODS, YOU’RE RUTHLESS

Pairings: book!percy jackson x black!fem!reader

Word count: 5.3k (oops?)

Warnings: angst, mentions of death (literally in the underworld :/), hades being a dick (SORRY I LOVE YOU HADES), swearing (like one word), mentions of throwing up, pet names (angel, sweet girl, little dove)

a/n: this is kinda my first fic (?) so be kind! This is completely self indulgent as it’s literally a scenario for my desired reality so keep that in mind. If you want some back story visit my dr list on my pinned post! Have fun, stay super freaky, have great vagina I LOVE YAAA

I never considered the Gods to be enemies to myself. Of course, I could understand where the animosity the other kids held towards them came from, I just couldn’t find it in myself to share it.

I’ve always seen myself as quite the lover and I’ve always known that it was my undoing. Holding out till the very last minute to toss out hope for redemption. I’ll love until the ability is carved out of my sternum.

I hate it.

The pain that comes with being such a tender-hearted individual is nefarious. But that recurring pain that plagues the minds and souls of those who are cursed to live a life of love and loss is what tortures the poets; and makes for a dam good book.

I hope to be able to transfer my heart from sleeve to page one day. But for now, I’m forced to keep dwelling on the feeling of dread and despair as I march my way through the dreary entrance hall of Hades’ palace.

Truth be told it’s not that dreary, it’s incredibly well-decorated. I'm just determined to be a hater. After fighting monsters, dealing with death traps, and arguing with temperamental Gods, I'm ready for the quest to be over and done with. It’s not as glorious as everyone made it out to be.

I looked over at Percy as the four of us reached the big set of doors at the end of the hall. He looked to be struggling with the weight of his backpack but I couldn’t understand why. Unless Oreos had suddenly gained weight in the day or two that it took us to get here he should be just fine. He wasn’t that scrawny.

“Well, guys,” Percy said. “I suppose we should… knock?”

As if on cue, a hot wind blew down the corridor and swung open.

“I guess that means entrez-vous,” Annabeth said in an exaggerated French accent. I giggled at her pronunciation and she sent me a playful glare as we all tentatively walked into the room.

"You are brave to come here, Son of Poseidon," Hades said in an oily voice. "After what you have done to me, very brave indeed. Or perhaps you are simply very foolish. And you legacy child, well, I expected better of you.” He seemed almost saddened as he uttered the last line.

My three quest mates looked over at me with varying levels of confusion plastered on their faces, I had half a mind to shrug bemusedly as I tried not to show my growing guilt so plainly on my face. What did I have to feel guilty for? Why did I care what Hades thought?

Percy stared at me a few seconds longer before facing the god again with renewed vigor, “Lord and uncle, I come with two requests”

Hades looked toward me and lifted his eyebrows in a “Is he serious???” sort of way but truth be told, I was too in awe of Percy's sudden diplomacy to give him a reaction. I fully expected him to at least glare at him but maybe I underestimated his desire to get his mom back. Hades leaned forward on his throne, a subtle incredulity painted on his sculpted face,

"Only two requests?" Hades said. "Arrogant child. As if you have not already taken enough. Speak, then. It amuses me not to strike you dead yet."

Spoken like a true older sibling. Christ.

I looked over at Percy in time to see his throat bob with trepidation. My heart gives a twinge of empathy, poor kid has only been in this life for a little over a month and he's already facing the god of the dead.

“Lord Hades… Look, sir, there can't be a war among the gods. It would be…bad.” smooth, fish sticks.

“Really bad,” Even smoother Grover, thank you.

Annabeth and I share an exasperated look as I think over every action I've ever made in my life to land me here.

“Return Zeus’s master bolt to me,” Percy pleaded. “Please, sir. Let me carry it to Olympus.”

Looking at Hades I'm getting the feeling that was not the right thing to say. His eyes grew glaringly bright as his face crumpled in anger,

“You dare keep up this pretense, after what you have done?” He spat.

I'm getting sick of the vague accusations thrown at us, “Percy hasn't done anything. I don't know if you’ve noticed but he's very new to this whole thing. I mean look at him, he's like a baby fawn,”

Percy looked mildly offended but he looked more concerned at the fact that I was practically mouthing off at an already very angry god.

Hades fixed me with a furious glare and I was sure I was sure I was going to be smoted. But then he did the strangest thing, he closed his eyes and took a steadying breath and when he opened them again the rage that had previously engulfed his irises seemed to lessen. Only a tad but it's still strange.

“Do you think I want war, child?” He said in an eerily calm manner.

I looked at the others utterly perplexed and when my gaze landed on Percy I had to fix him with a warning glare just to be sure he didn't try to be a wise guy at the wrong time. The last thing we needed was for fish Jesus to be filleted.

“My lord, I’m afraid I don’t understand. Wouldn’t a war expand your kingdom?” I said carefully.

His eyes widen a tad as he look on with absolute disbelief and frustration, “Did my brothers tell you that?? Fucking typical. Do you think I need more subjects?! Did you not see the sprawl of the asphodel fields??” Hades said, his voice risen an octave.

I hesitated to reply but I found I didn’t need to as Hades took it upon himself to continue his rant, "Have you any idea how much my kingdom has swollen in this past century alone, how many subdivisions I've had to open?"

Percy opened his mouth to respond, but Hades was on a roll.

"More security ghouls," he moaned. "Traffic problems at the judgment pavillon. Double overtime for the staff and the mortals just. keep. dying. You know, I used to be a rich god, godling. I control all precious metals under the earth. But my expenses!”

I was suddenly overcome with the fear that I was gonna have to comfort this emo god on his economic problems. And then Percy spoke and I was saved, “Charon wants a pay raise,” He blurted. I just had to laugh.

Hades went on to gripe about Charon and his troublesome discovery of Italian suits. He insisted that a war is the last thing he wanted and I wish I could say I was surprised.

“But you took Zeus' master bolt.” Percy said.

"Lies!" More rumbling. Hades rose from his throne, towering to the height of a football goal post. "Your father may fool Zeus, boy, but I am not so stupid. I see his plan."

"His plan?" I questioned.

"He was the thief on the winter solstice," Hades said. "His father thought to keep him his little secret. He directed him into the throne room on Olympus,”

Before I could even open my mouth to object and say that I was at the winter solstice and Percy wasn’t even a member at camp yet, Hades steamrolled on,

“You took the master bolt and my helm. Had I not sent my Fury to discover you at Yancy Academy, Poseidon might have succeeded in hiding his scheme to start a war. But now you have been forced into the open. You will be exposed as Poseidon's thief, and I will have my helm”

"But..." Annabeth spoke. I could tell her mind was going a million miles an hour. "Lord Hades, your helm of darkness is missing, too?"

"Do not play innocent with me, girl. You and the satyr have been helping this hero-coming here to threaten me in Poseidon's name, no doubt-to bring me an ultimatum. Does Poseidon think I can be blackmailed into supporting him? And you girl!" He directed his attention back to me and I was left to wonder what was so special about me that he felt the need to keep addressing me individually.

“This betrayal is disappointing but not unseen. I would think you would know better.” He glared heatedly at me, apparently abandoning his attempts at civility.

"No!" Percy said. "Poseidon didn't-I didn't- (y/n/n) had nothing to do with this- none of us did!"

"I have said nothing of the helm's disappearance," Hades snarled, "because I had no illusions that anyone on Olympus would offer me the slightest justice, the slightest help. I can ill afford for word to get out that my most powerful weapon of fear is missing. So I searched for you myself, and when it was clear you were coming to me to deliver your threat, I did not try to stop you."

"You didn't try to stop us? But-" None of what he was saying was making any sense. Not according to what we knew anyway. Did we really know anything?

"Return my helm now, or I will stop death," Hades threatened. "That is my counter proposal. I will open the earth and have the dead pour back into the world. I will make your lands a nightmare. And you, Percy Jackson-your skeleton will lead my army out of Hades."

The skeletal soldiers all took one step forward, making their weapons.

At this point the smart thing was to probably be scared out of my mind, but with Hades threatening Percy, fear seemed to be the last of my worries. This boy who I had made fast friends with in the short time that I’d known him. The boy who had lost his mom and his old life all within five minutes and was just expected to be okay with it. Percy Jackson, the dork who watched teen titans with me during the uncharacteristic storm at camp and convinced me to make blue Shirley temples. My very own guppy.

Yeah me and Hades were gonna have words.

“Stop this, now.” I said in my sternest voice. Hades halted and looked at me with intrigue and… slight fear?

“He didn’t steal anything, Hades, enough with the unfounded claims. We didn’t even know your helm was missing until 2 minutes ago and up until then we thought you had the bolt.”

The other 3 went stock still with shock. I’m guessing they were saying their goodbyes to me in their heads but I’m not one to go down that easily. Even if I did want to cry from the confrontation.

Hades looked at me with unbridled fury but when he spoke you would’ve thought he was simply telling me not to steal from the cookie jar again,

“I have tried to be kind to you child. I have tried to treat you with respect as you have done for me in the past but your foolishness and insolence will be your undoing.” He paused for a moment seemingly cherry picking his next words, “What would your mothers think? Hm? How would they fare if they learned of your impertinence?”

I froze. My blood ran cold and my stomach was churning something awful.

“….what?” I said, trying my hardest to steady my voice but it was a lost cause at this point. Grover and Annabeth looked on with pity that could shrink me with a glance but Percy? Percy looked furious. He glared at the god with the fury of a thousand suns,

“Don’t talk about her mothers, leave them out of this- leave her out of this. This is between me and you-“

“SILENCE!” Hades bellowed, as the throne room shook but Percy didn’t even flinch. “You have said quite enough godling.” He spat out the word like poison on his tongue.

Hades turned back to me, a new smugness hidden in the depths of his eyes, “How about we see what they would think? Would you like that legacy child? Would you like to see your parents?” His lip curled in a smirk.

I could’ve thrown up at the thought. What did he mean? Surely he wasn’t going to bring them here? My head was like a circuit, thoughts lapping around my brain like race cars. In my periphery, I could see Percy physically shaking with rage. Grover and Annabeth looked like they wanted to reach out for me but thought better of it, fearing Hades’ next move.

Hades surveyed all of us, taking in the horrified silence as he grinned almost sinisterly. He lifted a hand to the far left wall of a throne room and the surface of it rippled like a disrupted pool.

All of a sudden colors and shapes flew into the frame and found a place on the wall. Almost as soon as it started an image came into focus. A dining room with light pink walls filled with pictures and portraits of hand painted flowers. Most of the pictures were of one woman, a ginger with deep brown skin, gorgeous amber eyes, and a blinding smile. She looked like the personification of the earth and everything good. She looked warm, safe.

In some pictures she was joined by another woman, a more stern looking one but beautiful nonetheless with her honey blonde hair and vibrant blue eyes a stark contrast to her tawny skin. She held a smaller smile than her auburn counterpart but it was no less happy. The way they looked at each other in some photos was almost baffling. I didn’t know you could capture such tangible emotion on camera but they made it happen.

As for the portraits, I would’ve guessed the paintings were professionally made if it wasn’t for the cute little smiley faces and hearts surrounding the flowers in almost every portrait. They were mature and yet so childlike at the same time. Precise strokes coming together to form stunning flowers of bright color. Lilies, gardenias, and orchids filled every frame. It was captivating how real they looked. I could’ve stared at them all day but my attention was drawn toward the dark oak table as a giggle erupted from one of the occupants.

My heart sank.

The same woman in the photos sat at the table seemingly working on another floral piece. My breathing quickened as I put the pieces together. As I stared at the ginger woman’s dimpled smile and traced the slope of the blonde's nose it clicked.

These were my moms.

The women who died when I was just a baby in an effort to protect me. And they succeeded but at what cost?

I ran over to the wall ignoring the calls of my worried friends. Tears clouded my vision as I tried to push all the words I wanted to say past the lump cemented in my throat.

“Mamma?” I said timidly, worried this was an illusion or they wouldn’t be able to hear me.

All of that faded away when the bubbly lady whipped her head around at the sound of my voice and her lover not far behind.

“(Y/N)…?” She called, voiced thickly coated in awe.

The dam broke.

Tear rushed down my face faster than I could process as I nearly yelled out for my mothers, “Mamma! Ma!”

They came rushing over to where I was and knelt down at what I’m assuming was a projected image of me to wherever they were, “Baby angel! What are you doing here??” My mamma, who I’ve deduced is the child of Artemis, Davina, wailed as she went to reach out for me before retracting her hand. Probably figured the image would fade if she did and I’m grateful for that.

“You shouldn’t be here little dove, it’s not your time you must go home.” My Ma, Alexandra, said. A crease firmly placed between her brows that contradicted the wobbling smile that was growing on her lips.

They looked at me with a type of adoration that had my knees wracking. This is the type of maternal affection I thought I would never get to receive in my life. Of course, I had Aunt Go-go but that wasn’t the same.

Before I could respond Hades cut me off, “We can get to all the loving pleasantries in a moment. We have more important matters at hand. Your daughter has aided a thief.”

I glanced at him quickly before I quickly tried to defend myself, adamantly denying his claims.

“He’s lying! She didn’t steal anything and neither did I!” Percy erupted, his stare burning into the god's own, “"You're as bad as Zeus, you think I stole from you? That's why you sent the Furies after me?"

I drowned out the rest of what they were saying as I could only focus on the fact that my parents were looking me in my eyes, “We believe your friend, angel. We know our sweet girl would never do anything to cause harm.” Mamma told me as she looked on with kind eyes. “You’ve gotten so big! I remember when you were just a little raisin”

We shared a watery chuckle as I tried not to bawl my eyes out.

“She’s got your eyes,” Alexandra said fondly as she looked between her daughter and her wife.

“And your nose,” Davina giggled, “What a gorgeous girl you’ve grown into.”

“Thank you,” I managed as I felt my face heat up, “Are you guys in Elysium? Could I come see you?” I said hopefully.

They both glanced at each other warily and I felt dread pool in my stomach. I whipped around to face Hades as the words tumbled out of my mouth, “I need to see them! Please let me see them, I’ll do anything” I begged.

“Anything?” I nodded fervently as the trio voiced their protests, “Return my property and I’ll allow you a visit with your mothers!”

I choked out a sob as I looked helplessly at the others, “We-we don’t have it. I swear, I swear we don’t have it! We came here for the master bolt. They-they told us you had the master bolt, that’s why we’re here. Please I’m begging you, just let me see my moms” I rushed out, desperately trying to convince him of mercy.

“ENOUGH WITH YOUR FALSITIES GODLING!” I flinched back at his booming voice, the throne room walls rumbling and the image of my parents warbling. I panicked. “You already possess the master bolt, you came here with it, you insolent fool. You think you can try to deceive me?!”

I’m reduced to wails and gargled pleads as I try to bargain with this clearly unhinged man, “Please I don’t know, I don’t know. P-Percy tell him, please tell him, please”

“We didn’t steal the bolt! We’ve already told you-“

“Then open your pack!”

I looked at Percy in desperate confusion as his face fell. I can practically sense his panic as he slung his bad off his shoulder and unzipped it. Time stopped.

Inside was a two-foot-long metal cylinder, spiked on both ends, humming with energy. I could’ve fallen to my knees right there. I turned back to my mothers begging for them to understand. This was one of the worst realizations I’d ever made. We’d been framed.

'Percy," Annabeth said. "How-"

"I-I don't know. I don't understand." He said, his gaze flickered towards me as a tortured sound ripped from my throat.

"You heroes are always the same," Hades said. "Your pride makes you foolish, thinking you could bring such a weapon before me. I did not ask for Zeus's master bolt, but since it is here, you will yield it to me. I am sure it will make an excellent bargaining tool. And now ... my helm. Where is it?"

I was speechless. Percy was speechless. Annabeth was speechless, and I’m quite sure Grover passed out like 5 minutes ago. We had no helm. The world turned sideways and I didn’t deal well with vertigo.

"Lord Hades, wait," Percy said. "This is all a mistake."

"A mistake?" Hades roared. Quicker than I could process Hades lifted his hand and the image of my parents faded before my eyes.

Oh my gods.

“No- no, no, no, no, no, no, NO,” I gut-wrenching scream pierced through the air as I tried to conjure up the image again uselessly, “NO BRING THEM BACK, GODS, PLEASE BRING THEM BACK HADES PLEASE!” He didn’t even spare me a glance as Annabeth ran over to hold me back from slamming my fist into the stone. My fingernails were reduced to stubs as I clawed at the wall like my mother was going to be standing behind it waiting for me. I was wailing, calling out for my mommies. Usually I would scold myself for such a display of weakness at a time like this but at the moment all sense of self control was out of the question. I was inconsolable as Annabeth tried calming me down, cooing soft assurances in my ear that I couldn’t hear over my own gasping.

The skeletons aimed their weapons. From high above, there was a fluttering of leathery wings, and the three Furies swooped down to perch on

the back of their masters throne.

"There is no mistake," Hades said. "I know why you have come- I know the real reason you brought the bolt. You came to bargain for her."

Hades loosed a ball of gold fire from his palm. It exploded on the steps in front of Percy, and there was who I could only assume was his mother, frozen in a shower of gold.

In my panicked state at the renewed loss of mothers, I had almost forgotten about his.

"Yes," Hades said with satisfaction. "I took her. I knew, Percy Jackson, that you would come to bargain with me eventually. Return my helm, and perhaps I will let her go. She is not dead, you know. Not yet. But if you displease me, that will change."

Someone, or something, was growling. I think It was me. I was so angry. He already took my mothers away, he wasn’t about to take Percy’s.

I went to charge for him when I realized Annie was still holding on to me. I struggled against her hold as she dug her heels into the ground.

"Ah, the pearls," Hades said, and my blood froze. "Yes, my brother and his little tricks. Bring them forth, Percy Jackson."

Percy’s hand moved and brought out the pearls.

"Only four," Hades said. "What a shame. You do realize each only protects a single person. Try to take your mother, then, little godling. And which of your friends will you leave behind to spend eternity with me? Go on. Choose. Or give me the backpack and accept my terms." Percy looked at me and Annabeth and then Grover.

"We were tricked," He said. "Set up.”

“No shit,” I muttered bitterly, tears still tracking down my face.

"Yes, but why?" Annabeth asked, as she side eyed me. "And the voice in the pit-"

"I don't know yet," Percy said. "But I intend to ask."

"Decide, boy!" Hades yelled.

"Percy." Grover put his hand on Percy’s shoulder. "You can't give him the bolt,"

"I know that." He replied, though his stare was focused on me.

"Leave me here," Grover said. "Use the fourth pearl on your mom."

"No!" Percy exclaimed, his eyes darting towards the satyr.

"I'm a satyr," Grover said. "We don't have souls like humans do. He can torture me until I die, but he won't get me forever. I'll just be reincarnated as a flower or something. It's the best way."

"No." Annabeth drew her bronze knife, finally letting go of me and I returned back to the wall trying to see if there was some sort of passageway. "You three go on. Grover, you have to protect Percy and (y/n/n). You have to get your searcher's license and start your quest for Pan. Get his mom out of here. I'll cover you. I plan to go down fighting."

"No way," Grover said. "I'm staying behind."

"Think again, goat boy," Annabeth said.

"Stop it, both of you!" Percy yelled, and the two quieted.

I realized I had been silent through this whole ordeal and knew what I had to do.

“I’ll stay.” I croaked.

“What?!” Percy said, his head turning faster than I could process. “Absolutely not.”

“Percy-“

“No.” He strided over to me so he could look me in the eyes, “I’m not leaving here without you,”

“You don’t get it!” I exclaimed, on the verge of collapse. Gods, I’ve never been so tired. I’ve never done this. I know the stakes. I know how serious this is. But still, at the end of the day, I’m just a little girl who had gone her whole life without parents. Never knowing their faces or voices. Just to meet them and have them taken away within the same hour.

“What don’t I get (Y/N)? Hm?” Percy said frustratedly as he grappled my shoulders. I know he didn’t mean to be harsh but I couldn’t help getting upset.

“I want to stay here, Percy.” I said defeatedly, looking up at him through my lashes. “I ha-have to meet them. I just have to. Please just let me stay here. I need to stay, just let me stay,” I begged him, grasping at his arms to let me go.

He looked at me with a devastating amount of empathy that I couldn’t help breaking down again. He pulled me into a one armed hug as he turned towards Annabeth and Grover,

"I know what to do," Percy said. "Take these."

He handed them each a pearl.

Annabeth said, "But, Percy ..."

I was rambling incoherently into his shoulder, begging him to leave me there. He took my face into his hands and forced me to look him in the eyes,

“Hey-hey! Look at me!” I did, “I know.” And by the gods, I knew that he did. My knees went weak as he pulled me back in and held on to the back of my head as he wrapped an arm around my waist, “I’ll get you back here one day, ang-” he paused, realizing his mistake but continued on, “Even if I have to breakdown the doors of Olympus myself and force them to make it happen, you will see your moms again. Okay?”

I hesitated for a breath before I nodded reluctantly. There’s nothing else I could do.

Percy held me in his arms as he turned his head and faced his mother.

"I'm sorry," he told her. "I'll be back. I'll find a way."

The smug look on Hades's face faded. He said, "Godling ... ?"

"I'll find your helm, Uncle," he told him. Again with this uncle thing. "I'll return it. Remember about

Charon's pay raise."

"Do not defy me-" Hades tried.

"And it wouldn't hurt to play with Cerberus once in a while. He likes red rubber balls."

"Percy Jackson, you will not-"

Percy shouted, "Now, guys!"

He smashed the pearls at our feet. For a scary moment, nothing happened.

Hades yelled, "Destroy them!"

The army of skeletons rushed forward, swords out, guns clicking to full automatic. The Furies lunged, their whips bursting into flame.

Just as the skeletons opened fire, the pearl fragments at our feet exploded with a burst of green light and a gust of fresh sea wind.

We were encased in a milky white sphere, which was starting to float off the ground. My head was still buried in Percy’s shoulder, sobs racked my body as we floated up, Annabeth and Grover were right behind us.

Hades yelled with such rage, the entire fortress shook and I knew it was not going to be a peaceful night in L.A but I couldn’t bring myself to care.

"Look up." Grover yelled. "We're going to crash!"

Sure enough, we were racing right toward the stalactites, which I figured would pop our bubbles and skewer us.

"How do you control these things?" Annabeth shouted.

"I don't think you do!" Percy shouted back.

Is it bad that I kinda wanted to be skewered? Stop.

The trio screamed as the bubbles slammed into the ceiling and ... Darkness.

No, I could still feel the racing sensation. We were going up, right through solid rock as easily as an air bubble in water.

That was the power of the pearls, I realized- What belongs to the sea will always return to the sea.

For a few moments, I couldn't see anything outside the smooth walls of our sphere, then our pearl broke through on the ocean floor.

The two other milky spheres, Annabeth and Grover, kept pace with us as we soared upward through the water.

We exploded on the surface, in the middle of the Santa Monica Bay, knocking a surfer off his board with an indignant, "Dude!" I wanted to hit him.

Percy grabbed Grover and hauled him over to a life buoy. I caught Annabeth and dragged her over too.

A curious shark was circling us, a great white about eleven feet long. Maybe I’d get my soul surfer moment. Stop it.

Percy said, "Beat it." And the shark turned and raced away. New Yorkers.

The surfer screamed something about bad mushrooms and paddled away from us as fast as he could.

Somehow, I knew what time it was: early morning, June 21, the day of the summer solstice.

In the distance, Los Angeles was on fire, plumes of smoke rising from neighborhoods all over the city. There had been an earthquake, all right, and it was Hades's fault. He was probably sending an army of the dead after us right now.

But at the moment, the Underworld wasn't my biggest problem.

Annabeth and Grover shared a glance as they muttered something about getting a headstart to shore. Percy and I were still treading water as he analyzed me.

“What?” I snapped. I can’t say I didn’t mean to but I did feel bad.

“I’m sorry.” He said and my face softened. “It’s not your fault, nothing you could do.” I tried to give him a reassuring smile but I’m sure it looked more like a grimace.

He was starting to gain a real habit of hugging me as he pulled me into his chest. I couldn't tell the difference between the saltwater and saline on my face anymore.

He didn’t say anything, just sort of awkwardly petted my hair. He pulled away to look me in the eyes and some sort of understanding passed between us.

I gave him a nod and gestured for him to catch up with the others. He looked hesitant for a second but ultimately nodded and swam to the duo who were treading just a little ways away.

I looked down at the water as if I’d be able to see the underworld below my feet. I gave a kiss to my fingers and swirled them in the water in the shape of a flower, “I’m sorry Mamma, Ma. I’ll come back for you.”

I start to slowly make my way towards the others thinking over everything that just went down. I realized with a sharp ache in my chest, that I felt more despair than I did hatred when thinking of Hades. I wanted to despise him. To think that he was evil and want to plot some sort of revenge. But I couldn’t. Somehow that was worse.

He was uncaring in his dealings with us. I knew his intentions with the words he spoke to me, burning a hole through my chest till I was left spiraling searching for some sort of reprieve. And yet compassion still had a hold on me. I felt sorry for him but oh my gods, was he ruthless.

✧ dividers by @hitobaby !

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m1ssunderstanding · 5 months

Text

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day One

So I know this has probably been overdone by lots of people on lots of years but I haven't done it yet and I want to so here goes: I'm going to rewatch get back with the days matched up and catalogue my thoughts as I watch.

We don't get to see George and John saying hi to each other, but I'm struck by how careful they are with Ringo when he comes in. "Hi Ringo, happy new year." From both of them, with full eye contact soft, sweet voices. I wonder if they're really wanting to be so gentle with him after what happened at the end of August. Not like walking on eggshells at all, but just very "we're working on doing better because we care about you."

While Paul's not there, John is giving George full attention, leaning in to him, facing him while they sing, and George seems to really love it

But then Paul shows up and you can tell before we even see him that he's arrived, because suddenly John's gaze is gone from George. His eyebrows shoot up, he chin-tilts, and (this sounds insane I know but it's what I just watched) his singing drastically improves. He's putting effort in, performing.

Paul sits down and the shy little grins and glances and inside jokes (at George's expense and hypocritical of John) ensue immediately.

Ringo's jacket. The black with the maroon velvet collar. It's very cool and it's very unique to him. I don't see the other three pulling it off the way he does. He just has effortless swagger. If the other three wore something like that they'd look like try-hards.

George's sassy little hair flip. "oh, you're recording our conversation?"

Meanwhile John and Paul are back at it like magnets I swear. Turned in to each other, talking gibberish, and strumming

George with the deadpan sass again. "Maybe we should just learn a few songs first." Lol he's so stone cold.

"Oh please believe me." "Yes I will." Come on. Do you ever stop? And then the silent communication when they screwed up. We don't see Paul's face but John makes such a cute "oops sorry" face and they keep going.

Paul's literally so bossy. I find it such a turn on, really, watching it. Just because it's him being a genius who has a vision and sucks at social skills. But if I were in that band and he wasn't letting me hit I'd literally hate him.

John's so delighted with Paul's "everybody's got a hard on... Except for me and my monkey." Because that's one of the ways he often expresses his love for Paul and Paul's giving it back to him here. So John's just "Oh he made a joke about my song. He's teasing me. He does like me."

Paul literally diggs John's part of IGAF so fucking hard though. Like as soon as John's singing, Paul can not be still. Can not. He just thinks John's so so clever (and to be fair he is)

Crazy eye fucking continues

Then Paul's off to talk big boy plans with the daddies for a minute. (would love to know who he waved at then sucked his finger) "Is this your place, Twickenham?" Okay. Feeling out a potential daddy's pockets. I see you.

Obsessed with Yoko's emerald bag and how she got her little boyfriend to wear the exact color of Henley. Ken was literally made to be Barbies accessory and he's doing such a great job matching her purse. She's so pretty and cool.

It cracks me up how extremely nonchalant Ringo is about Magic Christian. (I LOVE that movie. Ringo is so hot in it and it's anti-capitalist so it's a winner). Dennis O'Dell is all "the scripts are marvelous." And Ringo's just "yeah you told me." And then Dennis is like "I'll take up up and show you around these really great sets." Ringo: "yeah okay." It's almost like the other three have no chill so he has to have only chill to balance it out.

They really are so blunt with each other when they don't like something. "I don't dig that." "Scrap that." Which is good. If only they could've been blunt when they did like things too though. And I guess they were sometimes. Like John telling Paul to keep that lyric in Hey Jude. But I don't think they were half as open with their positive feelings about each other's work as they were the other way around and that's so sad to me.

Why does George single Paul out about the sandwiches? It's cute. I love it. But what is it? Is he particularly worried about Paul and food because Paul's picky? Is it just their relationship that they take care of each other in these simple ways because they can't take care of each other emotionally?

Fucking hell why does Paul literally flirt with everyone all the time? "No separation in there." "Rain or snow will do me." "Yeah, you're pretty right, Michael."

Pretty sure John was looking at the lyrics of TOU off that sheet that said "Another Quarrymen Original" at the bottom. I wonder what he thought of that. I wonder if it was there to signal him, and if so what was it signalling? "Hey this is about you."??

"Two of us Henry Cooper." Referencing a boxer in a song about him and John. Why? Because they're fighting?

#get back #the beatles #paul mccartney #ringo starr #john lennon #george harrison #Dennis Odell #mclennon #michael lindsay hogg

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deathlieteez · 8 months

Text

ATTENTION (4/5)

yunho x reader

♡ attention series masterlist ♡ ┋chapter 1┋chapter 2.1┋chapter 2.2┋chapter 3.1┋chapter 3.2

chapter 4: heaven and back. when you finally met yunho that Saturday night, he confess the reason why he's acting that weird, and it is not going to be a bliss to your heart. feeling more lost than ever, you let yourself be drawn into whatever the night has to offer, though it seems to end up being much more than you can control.

appears: yunho as your exboyfriend x femb!reader + choi seungcheol (seventeen) x son chaeyoung as ur bests friends + yoon jeonghan (seventeen) as ur friend + chwe hansol vernon (seventeen) as seungcheol's friend

genre: angst. college au.

warning: cursing, mean/heartbroken reader, mean/heartbroken yunho, petnames, using/abusing of drugs (don't!!!!!!!), cheating.

word count: 9.1k (oops)

intentional use of lowercase letter

english is not my mother tongue

the chapter is called heaven and back because is sighly based on the chase atlantic's song

songs i get inspired by: heaven and back - chase atlantic + you broke me first- tate mcrae + the grudge - olivia rodrigo + falling - harry styles + creepin' - the weeknd + if you want love - nf + sorry, i love you - stray kids + we go down together - dove cameron ft. khalid + remember that night? - sara keys

the one i recommed the most to read it is the loneliest by maneskin

it is not meant to be representative of jeong yunho's personality or any ateez or another groups' idols who appeared ♡

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘♡⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

see you tonight.

yunho's absence and message made your morning into something infinite. got out of bed as if you had spent the whole night drinking, but what actually felt was a terrible emotional hangover. the memory of yunho haunted you as if he had never left, and almost had the damn sensation of his lips going all over your skin, as well as that sweet smell of his still stuck in your nostrils. his attitude was strange enough in itself to leave you thinking all day, but if you added the idea that he had been with another woman close enough to leave her scent on him, and the fucking fact that he had left you alone in bed after you let him spend the night for the first time after so many pleas, it was going to drive you crazy. was literally all you could think about all morning. it was, in fact, what you were thinking about when your doorbell rang, being so immersed in the memory of your fucking ex that the fright was such that you threw the coffee cup, which you'd been stirring for twenty minutes now while leaning against the kitchen counter, onto the floor. "shit!" you grunt for a moment before the doorbell rings again, and several times in a row "coming, i'm coming!" had absolutely no idea who it was, but it did nothing but fuck your mood even more.

you were very surprised to see that it was chaeyoung. well, an exaggeratedly angry version of chaeyoung. if thought you were in a bad mood, you were a puppy next to your best friend at that moment "i didn't come in just in case that asshole's still here. you better hide him, because i'll chew him up and spit him in the toilet, and u're next" she said pointing her index finger at you, still not crossing the threshold of the door. you sighed, stepping to the side to let her know she could come in.

"easy beast, he's not here." she snorted, entering your house in a bad temper. you couldn't blame her, but she had a lot of things to blame you. followed her into the kitchen, feeling slightly anxious. the only times you had ever seen chaeyoung like that was always when was involved with yunho, yunho's friends or the university. you had never been her target. you knew for a fact how much she loved you, in a practically sisterly way, so you understood perfectly why she practically left a trail of flames wherever she passed by. you would have appeared the same, or worse "careful, there's glass on the floor" you warn, she automatically grabbed several paper napkins and bent down to wipe the huge coffee stain on the floor. you imitated her.

"i've called tons of times, and left lots of messages." she accused, you sighed "the least you could do is call me back" looked at her with a mixture of shame and embarrassment building up in the pit of your stomach. you couldn't say anything, because she was right. not only had you blown them off the night before, but ignored them all and with no reasons. that's probably why seungcheol wasn't with chaeyoung to find out what happened after he left. he was too upset to show up at your house, and it was more than clear that he would have told chaeyoung why you didn't go to the club.

"m so sorry" you mumble, "wasn't in the mood. know that's no excuse, but…"

"but nothing. it's already awfully wrong for that guy to show up at your house at night, but to be ignoring us for him? girl, it sucks" she accuses again and you nod, as if you were being scolded by your older sister "i don't understand how you could even let him into your house, after everything that's happened".

"you know we've been seeing each other, chae" you swallowed after materializing it in words for the first time to someone other than yourself or yunho himself.

"yeah" she groaned in annoyance "but thought u guys fucked at parties or something, not that you let him get into your house?"

"we're all grown up now, chaeyoung" you sigh, picking up a few pieces of glass again, trying not to cut yourself and in the process avoiding her gaze. she stood up, throwing away a handful of soggy papers and picking up a few more to continue drying the floor.

"oh really? well doesn't look like it" she then growls "look, u can fuck whoever u want, but be consequent. u can't just disappear the whole night and leave us all worrying"

"i'm really sorry" repeated "it was a bit of a weird night" you confess once finished collecting all the crystals, cutting a small awkward silence "did u have a good time at least?" chaeyoung denied.

"cheol came in pretty upset, he told us what happened and we tried to call you several times after a while. still were going to stay, but then we saw yunho's little friends and seungcheol didn't want to continue the night. he and han went home together and i went home with jihyo" she related, making you sigh again.

"they didn't say anything to any of you, have they?" she denied, you nodded in relief.

"you know how overprotective he is with you and the whole thing with those guys" threw away the last handful of papers once the floor was finally clean, grabbing another cup from your cupboard and a capsule of coffee "at least tell me what's going on, and what happened last night".

so you did. recounted in detail everything that had happened, from the episode at the emergency exit, to yunho dumping that girl for you, and ending with the night before. you put special emphasis on one detail "he smelled like another chick!?" she practically shouted, you dropped your back on the back of the couch and nodded "he finished being with some chick and came to see u?" he snorted "i thought he couldn't, but he get even more scraggly. he must have been training"

"he's coming tonight" you confessed, causing chaeyoung's eyes to practically pop out of their holes.

"and you're even dumber, i see."

"wanna see him, chae."

"that's the first sign why you shouldn't do it. never again. fuck him. but no literally!"

you'd love to say that the conversation with your best friend did some good. that you took matters into your own hands and wrote yunho to tell him you didn't want him around, that he should stay the fuck home. but the reality was much different, much sadder and, from chaeyoung's point of view, ridiculous. your friend didn't understand what it was about this guy that kept you so interested, and you didn't exactly know either. but if there was ever a time when you really felt the need to see him, it was that night. his attitude and that message had to mean something, and it's not like you were able to ignore everything you felt while being with him.

luckily, now that you had finally been completely honest with her, chaeyoung decided she wouldn't leave you alone and tried her best to keep your mind off yunho, almost like the first time she had to deal with what he left of you when he cheated. it worked for a few hours, but as the time approached when you had to get ready to leave, it became clear how the anxiety was eating away at your confidence. you checked your cell phone every few moments, feraring a message from him, or maybe even hoping for one. chae watched you worriedly. she knew for sure that the time when you would relapse would come. yunho would be a problem again, because you two were in love and it didn't end well. one of you would come crawling back, but she hoped it wouldn't be you and that when he did, you would kick him back to his house.

"so can i borrow the black one then?" she asked with her head dipped in your closet. you laughed again, affirming with a guttural sound while trying not to go too overboard with the lip liner "great! i was looking forward to trying it on. it's so pretty!"

"just had to ask for it" you tell her once you finish filling in your lips in a gorgeous burgundy shade matching the dress you wore that night, and which didn't go unnoticed by your friend.

"how is it possible that u been looking like shit all day and now you look like you came out of a magazine?" she grunts, making you laugh again "it's cute" commented, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking at your reflection in the glass of the dressing table. you were doing the same, trying to gain confidence in your image. knew you looked pretty, but didn't feel particularly well. "haven't worn it in a while, have you?" chaeyoung asked, getting your attention. you look at her a little confused "the dress" you smile faintly at her, nodding.

didn't really wanted to have to explain it to her, but the outfit you were wearing that night was a real statement of intent, because it was exactly the same one you had the night you met yunho. it was still quite nice, a little less revealing than what you've been wearing lately, but sexy enough to fit a night like that. telling chaeyoung something like that would end up driving her crazy, but the truth is that you were wearing it hoping yunho would remember the dress. as you looked at yourself wearing it in the mirror, remembered all the times he told you how beautiful you looked and how much he loved the dress. he even asked you to wear it again several times throughout the relationship, but saved it for a special occasion because it meant so much to you. didn't know why, but that night you needed the confidence that dress gave you. it was probably a mistake, but you would do it anyway.

it wasn't too long before you arrived at the same place that had already visited countless times, and where the story with your ex was awakened with a fuck at the emergency exit of the reserved area. you felt a little better when you let the lively atmosphere captivate you, letting yourself be carried away by the incredibly cheerful and energetic attitude of your best friend, who guided you to the same place as always, where your friends were already waiting.

the first thing you did was apologize to all of them, and especially to seungcheol, who didn't take more than a few seconds to fall for your charms and your puppy face to hug you and kiss your forehead, even though he made you promise not to do something like that to them again "a message is enough. just want to know you're okay". the way it had started, the night had potential. and you could have taken advantage of it; you could have drunk, danced and laughed with the amazing friends you had at your disposal. you could have even tried to meet someone new, like the guy at the bar who had left his number on a napkin he shamelessly gave you, because didn't need one and hadn't asked for, during one of the many times you visited the bar in such a ridiculously short period of time. just like went to the bathroom, to smoke with jeonghan -when you didn't even smoke- and any excuse that was plausible enough and allowed you to browse the place as many times as possible, in search of a single person. of course, your friends asked you if everything was all right, but with the help of chaeyoung, who knew what was going on and didn't want to worry them, you distracted them. it was about one in the middle of the night when you finally saw him appear in the crowd, looking particularly handsome that night. he wore a white yarn sweater, the collar quite wide, revealing his collarbone, beautifully decorated with a couple of necklaces and highlighting the width of his shoulders. his hair was apparently messy, but you knew that he had probably spent a long time in front of the mirror checking every strand, and it had certainly paid off.

you didn't even try to find an excuse to meet him that time. just jumped up and left the reserved area, not listening to any of your friends' questions. from the stairs you could see him reaching a table at the down floor, where a couple of girls were sitting that you didn't remember seeing before. noticed him greeting one of them with a kiss on the cheek, bringing that smell back to your memory, but made sure to ignore the idea that crossed your mind and faded as soon as you saw him looking for you in the reserved area himself. he approached the stairs as you went down, so you decided to wait at the end of them "finally!" you said almost without breaking, sounding a little - too - excited to see him. yunho was about to speak, but your impatience interrupted him with a soft kiss on the lips that was confused to say the least, swallowing his words, not even sure what he wanted to say to you. with a sincere smile, you pulled his wrist to a corner a little further away from his friends and yours, a little further away from the crowd, and while he was still silent, you allowed yourself to kiss him again, leaning your back against the dark wall of the room. took a few seconds for yunho to react, feeling a slight panic sweep through his body, but deciding to surrender to you again. it was much easier to be carried away by your lips, so he brought one of his hands to your waist while cradled your neck with the other to deepen the kiss. felt as if the night before had not ended, as if the truce you had happily signed yesterday had continued to stand against all odds. "took a long time, yuyu" said to him as you separated to get some oxygen. he didn't even open his eyes before kissing you again.

he pressed his body closer to yours, breathing into your lips and making you feel like you're in a damn cloud9. buried both hands in his hair, stroking him as if to calm him, "hi" mumbled over your lips. actually, you didn't even hear it, you guessed it.

"been waiting for you" you confessed, not even thinking about how your attitude let yunho look a little deeper into you. "thought you wouldn't come" he remained silent, looking into your eyes like trying to find something. in fact, he was looking for some sign of remorse, of hatred, of resentment, of anger. some trace of everything you were giving him all this time, but he found in you nothing more than a honest desire to see him. he sighed heavily and took some distance from you, though his hands never left your body, going up to your face to cradle it once more. you held his wrists and smiled sweetly, "don't have a very good face, yuyu" you stated, looking genuinely concerned, "u ok?" yunho felt his chest shrink as the sweetness colored your words.

it was like you were doing it on purpose, as if you were fighting with your last ace to keep him close. he had worked hard to get to this point, he had fought against everything he felt so that would be moderately comfortable with what was about to happen. but it would only be fine if you continued to be a fucking bitch to him, one who didn't seem to care about anything. now that you looked at him as if you really wanted to be with him, as if you cared about his well-being and kissed him so lovingly, how could he say something like that to you? how could he not grab the last burning nail that was your relationship?

"no, i'm not well" he confessed. you took a careful breath and gently changed your sweet expression to a worried one. something was really wrong.

"here, let's sit" you suggest, pointing to the high chairs a few feet away "and maybe i can help you" if he didn't know you well enough, yunho would swear that you were trying to torture him playing with his feelings to trap him in your web so he would never leave you. but in actual fact, you were genuinely concerned about him and wanted to help him. reaching the chairs, without letting go of his hands, you sit facing each other. legs are intertwined, you only have to move a little closer to kiss him again, which you did, "come on sweetie, tell me".

"why 're u treating me so well?" he asked suddenly, almost burning with the torture of having you so close again.

you pursed your lips, tilting your head with a shy smile, "don't know" confessed this time, "yesterday was a nice day, i guess" yunho sighed with the memory of your naked body hugging his all night, making him feel like the fucking worst person in the whole earth.

"i have been waiting for you to look at me like this for a long time" with a weak and deep voice, it comes out almost in a wail "it is not fair that you act like this today" you looked at him with some confusion while he avoided your eyes as much as he could. instead, he look at your body without taking a second to notice what you're wearing. a grimace of sarcasm crossed his face, and he couldn't help but think that what you were trying to do to him must be some kind of heavy joke.

"today? what's happening today?"

"i've been doing the best that i can for about, how long, maybe a year?" his voice rises slightly and you can hear some bitterness in it. by contrast, yunho never lets go of your hands, making the grip harder and focus all the attention on them laying over the dress you are wearing "i have respected your space and accepted all the times you kicked me away" he said, you parted your lips without knowing exactly what to say, feeling more confused by the moment "gave you love whenever u were around, just to make u feel wanted and wash away what i did" you blinked several times, trying to pull your hands away, but he held them firmly, "went where you wanted, when you wanted, even when i knew you were doing with other guys" he sighed heavily, sharpening his gaze and finally looking at you. "needed to see me so fucked up to empathize with me a little? or did you realize that you still love me?"

when he looked into your eyes, you didn't like what you saw. no clue if all that anger and pain had always been there or if something you are missing had happened and yunho was actually in pain. the only thing you were sure about was that your patience was too thin to keep listening to him, and the sarcasm of his words didn't help at all. or did you realize that you still love me?

you yanked hard from his hands, surprising him but managing to escape his grip. denied with a bitter smile before said "let it go, it was a mistake", you said it out loud, but those words were more for you than for him. wanted to leave it there now that you still had some will to have a good night, but suddenly yunho realized he couldn't let you go that easily. the pride he had been swallowing all this time returned all at once and he was not willing to let you be the one to decide the course of the conversation again. yunho had come to this place with a damned purpose, and he was going to fulfill it whether you wanted or not. he stopped you down impulsively, grabbed your wrist and pulled back towards him. almost crashed into his chest, but you reacted quickly and put a hand on his shirt, pushing him back "what's wrong with u?"

"with me!?" he opened his eyes as if you had told him the most savage thing he had ever heard in his life, "the problem here is you!" suddenly yunho grabbed your shoulders and pushed you back against the wall, surrounding you with both arms into a corner so he can look down on you. it felt like you were tiny, and that wasn't what you needed that night, "come to me like you need to see me, kiss me, care about me, and in that fucking dress!" you looked away from him when his breath crash into your face so aggressively, because yunho was yelling, almost out of control and too close for your comfort. caught your breath to regulate the tension in your chest, feeling slightly dizzy. you looked like a prey, trapped under your ex's harsh and unforgiving voice, full of resentment "am a joke to u? wearing this on just to hurt me, yeah?" he growled. despite the toughness of his words, yunho was far from feeling tough inside. he was pushing himself to the limit, trying to contain a huge amount of emotions that he did not know how to handle at a time like this, when he had you in front of him and the person he decided to commit to just a few steps away, waiting for him.

when he got up in the morning next to you, had a feeling that he holds the world in his hands again. he barely slept through the night and made sure to stay close to you as long as possible, watching you as you rested, with your chest rising and falling gently, your peaceful face and your body completely relaxed. no tension, no fighting and no bitterness. you were an angel - his angel -, and he told himself he was the luckiest man in the world to be able to watch such a spectacle. yunho also realized you still had some habits, such as sleeping on your right side - which made yunho get used to sleeping on his left side so he could hug you -; you still talked a bit at night, and still hadn't given up your eagerness to steal his blanket whenever you had the chance. but his favorite, which he treasured as a precious memory, and which he loved to see you kept, was your adorable need to cuddle at night. he wondered more than once if you'd gotten over it because didn't have him anymore, or if you were holding plush animals like you once told him you did before living together. now that he had you there, tied to his torso as if you never wanted him to leave, he was afraid to even breathe too hard in case you moved and let him go. it was hard for him to give in to sleep, but was overly nice to see you again when he woke up. sure, you moved and were no longer holding him, but you were holding his hand. really seemed that you needed any contact with him as much as he needed you to do it.

knowing he must go while you were still asleep, he tempted his fate and stayed for almost an hour. the thought of leaving you was killing him, and his tears were the only witness, but it was better to go for himself than to let you push him again. was certainly sure he couldn't take it after having you this way again. he worked hard to convince himself that it was best to get away from you and trust her. she was good for him, but you weren't, because you could offer him nothing but nostalgia and the ghost of the woman he fell in love with. yunho told himself that the last night you spent together was almost a mirage, a kind of truce he had signed with you, but that it expired as soon as the sun rose on the horizon. so you wouldn't want him there anymore then, not knowing you haven't forgive him yet. he needed to stop blaming himself because you didn't want him anymore, to stop punishing himself with your kisses and your fleeting caresses, no matter how sweet they were. she looked like a white promise at the end of all this agony. couldn't even believe that she was giving him a second chance after what he had done to her for you, but he told himself he wouldn't mess it up this time, that would let you go and that you wouldn't suffer because you were really just playing with him. yunho wouldn't have to see you cry and he wouldn't cry for you anymore.

what he did not expect was to see you the next day in that dress that meant so much to both of us, taking him back to the night you met, while your eyes showed him a genuine illusion to see it again. he could even see the pain in your pupils as his voice, against all odds, became much harsher. he should hate you, but he hated himself instead "yunho, enough. wanna leave".

"oh, u want to go now?" he insisted, making you swallow hard while see him shocking his head many times "please tell me what you want from me" you looked him in the eyes again, an uncertain gaze locked with his. could barely make out the colors of his face in the dim light of the room, but you could clearly see the damage in his look, "can't take it anymore" he almost sobbed, dropping his head down to the floor "i can't keep paying for what i did. need u to stop punishing me, it's not fair to either of us anymore" locked out, the air was missing and could only feel the strong fragrance that yunho wore that night clouding your senses. you tried to concentrate on his words, but they only hurt. it was as if he had hit you so hard that all you could hear was a hollow and annoying sound. yunho kept talking to you, becoming more and more impatient with your silence, and in the midst of all the dull noise, your face began to fall as his words began to sink in. you thought coldly about what he was really telling you and a sour taste grew in your throat. you'd swear you'd fall to the ground if yunho hadn't left you barely space to breathe, intoxicating you with his accusations.

"yunho" mumbled, sealing his lips so he could hear you after trying to get your attention so much "if u don't like it, just leave" your head remained a little bowed, as if the neck couldn't bear the weight, so you looked at him from below "fair, you say?" snorted in denial as you closed your eyes again "know what's not fair? your boyfriend cheating on you, and knowing about it by a pic that someone sent of him kissing that fucking chick. that's not fair" yunho was going to say something, but you cut him off "it's neither fair that you came home the next morning and covered yourself with a lie, not fair that you kissed me with the same mouth that you kissed another girl the night before. that you came home every morning of every weekend without feeling the slightest bit of guilt until i discovered you, that's not fucking fair" yunho stepped back a little, letting you breathe a bit easier "it's also not fair the fact u forced seven fucking people who were also my friends to lie to me to cover up your fucking betrayal" looked at him again "know what it was like for me to lose u and all of them at once? that. is. not. fair" you spitted bitterly, punctuating every word "i saw the person i trusted the most taking away those we considered our friends, and yet you also took away my first love, my home, and everything i felt for u" here they were again, the tears piling up and threatening to wet yunho's cheeks, while you felt like tearing out every piece of yourself, every single night you spent awake missing him. you were now throwing them out in the form of all the conclusions you came to between cries and tears "so if you think what's happening is unfair, you'd better go and leave me alone for good" you were angry, and your words were not what really was in your heart, but weren't able to control yourself in the same way that he wasn't able to. however, also failed to calculate the consequences of what you just said.

"that's exactly what 'm trying to do" he replied, now at a safe distance from you.

"how do u say?" despite the word just spitted, you were incredulous.

"'m leaving you, leaving this" his cold gaze froze your body "i am tired, tired of you" he confessed. didn't even know how you felt at that time, but yunho wasn't finished with you yet "i've met someone, and i think i like this girl, but need to be away from you to find out" that was the masterstroke. the last words he needed to end you, with everything you had built since decided to focus on yourself, everything you had risked to bring him back into your life. even though you had managed to recover from all the hits he had soothed you with his words, there was no turning back from what he had just said so easily.

words sharp as blades pierced your whole body mercilessly, straight from the same lips that kissed you so lovingly just moments ago. you clearly heard something inside breaking again. i'm tired of you. his voice echoed in your head, as if he would never stop shouting it in your ear, over and over again, like a damned mantra he'd decided to tattoo on your skin. yunho knew for real he was being cruel, he watched almost in slow motion how your pride faded away as the light in your eyes started to dim, but he couldn't help his mouth breathing away what his broken heart was crying out.

the strident music fades and instead you only hear this one sentence and a high-pitched sound drowns your eardrums, you have the feeling that they will even start to bleed if you try to say something else, but all your pride has vanished with your breath. you have nothing more to say, and even if you tried, would not be able to hear a single word, so you close your eyes and try to erase yunho from your mind, but of course, his silhouette appears in the darkness of your eyelids, smiling and laughing at you, reminding the horrible person you are. felt so out of place, so confused and lost in a feeling of incorrigible pain, even greater than the first time yunho left, that don't even know how you have returned to the side of your friends. when you figure it out, you're sitting next to them and they're talking to each other as if you weren't there. inside, everything fell apart. on the outside, your face remained blank, almost serene. you craved to scream, wanted to find yunho again and shout him that it was all his fault.

the image of your boyfriend, with whom you even shared an apartment, kissing another girl, along with the certainty that he had been hiding it for god knows when, still burning inside your eyes and were not exaggerating when you said that it was the first time you felt the pain of a betrayal, added to the pain of a broken heart and the sudden loneliness. well, if you had to be completely honest with yourself, you hadn't handled what happened right, and had to admit that you were cruel. but within the pain you felt at that moment, the idea that it was yunho who had broken you to such an extreme, that it was yunho who was wrong first, who broke you and all that you were, shone more brightly in your head.

your gaze wandered from one side to another. the floor, the ceiling, the round table in the center of your seats, filled with full and empty glasses, the distand and happy faces of your friends, seungcheol holding one of your hands and giving you a loving grimace… the neon red of the exit sign where you fell into yunho's arms again.the light soon blinded you slightly, feeling your gaze begin to unfocus as the bright red dazzled you and tears unconsciously welled up at the edge of your pupils. memories of your ex filled your blurred vision, pulling you away from reality and back to the image of his lips on yours, begging you to stay a little longer. his hands craving around your skin, trying to keep you close. now all that was gone. i think i love that girl, but i need to be away from you to know. and to think that you had stayed devoted to his arms, while he sought solace in another girl.

when you were able to refocus your gaze, found yourself looking at yunho's table in the distance. everyone seemed perfectly happy, including your ex, who was hugging who you assumed was the girl that took him away from you, who was winning his heart, the same heart had been your home " honey, is everything okay?" when you heard seungcheol's voice, suddenly realized you are already truly crying, feeling the happiness of those boys as a direct attack on you. why, if you were the victim, were the only one still suffering? "baby, look at me" seungcheol quickly located where your gaze was heading and gently picked up your chin to force you to stop hurting yourself, trying to comfort you with a warm smile and a kiss on the forehead.

"guess 'm not at my peak" you let out a chuckle far from funny and wiped away your tears.

with his thumb, seungcheol caressed your wet cheek and raised both eyebrows "we have two options. i can take you home, you'll take a shower, we'll watch anything on tv and i promise i'll play your hair until you fall asleep if it'll make you feel better" the smile grew natural on your lips, provoking a similar one on his face. he couldn't help it even if he wanted to and he wouldn't; sex or not, you were his best friend and one of the most important person in his life since you both were able to open up to each other, understand each other, support each other and care for each other. he had met many people in his life because he was someone of a social nature, but with you it was a crush in any sense you wanted to take it. he was sure that whatever you could offer him would be enough, because loved you sincerely and would prove it "or you can stay here with all of us, try to enjoy the night and not let anything or anyone else get the better of you" knew perfectly well what his words meant, because he wasn't stupid and no matter how much you had tried to hide it, he clearly saw something big going on with yunho, and confirmed it as soon as he saw you unable to take your eyes off him and that beautiful girl he wouldn't let go even for a stand second "both options are valid and in both i promise not to leave you alone at any time. it's up to you" you took a breath with lips sealed, biting them slightly at your pathetic image going home early for a fucking cheating guy, who was also happily a few meters away enjoying himself after breaking your heart for the second time.

you wondered if you were too naive, if you really didn't know him that well and those looks full of love and pleading he so often gave when you were together were nothing but pure show, a fake better than yours designed to fuck up your life even more. was yunho so cruel, so cold and manipulative? that night, you needed to believe that he was.

"think i can give this place a second chance today" you spoke unsure of your decision, but willing to at least give it a try. yunho couldn't stop you, wouldn't let him, and you knew that seungcheol was ready to help with that.

"that's my girl" he said, kissing your cheek "in that case, i have something for you" you watched as he pulled out his wallet from his denim jacket, showing you a small black baggie that brought a new smile to your face "are you in?"

"sharing is for pretty people" chaeyoung appeared at your back, holding out her hand to seungcheol, who laughed and didn't fail to leave a small white pill in the palm of her hand, but to you he put it straight into your mouth, with a greedy smirk that you were quite used to and that made you slightly fall into his game. you stuck out your tongue slowly, where he left the pearl while looking at your eyes, brushing your tongue with his fingers and listening to him saying again that's my girl but, this time, several octaves lower.

however, cheol didn't move any more cards in that direction with you afterwards, again respecting your boundaries, which you were extremely grateful for. if you had to take it out on your best friend, you didn't want to do it. it seemed like playing dirty, even though you knew for a fact that he'd be more than glad to offer himself to the cause. it wouldn't happen, but his attitude helped to immerse you in the night.

while you waited patiently - as long as you could - for the substances to take effect in your system, you tried to distract yourself with literally anything. smiled, talked to all your friends at the table, joked even with them and tried to laugh heartily when the others did, but your attempts were not enough to contain your fucking curiosity and the inertia to satiate it by looking back to yunho's table.

sometimes, he wasn't there and you could only see his friends, because she was never there if he wasn't. you'd even swear that, on a couple of occasions, yunho looked in your direction too, but couldn't say for sure because, when you got that feeling, you looked away like a fucking coward. the last time it happened, your eyes ran to the bottom of your empty glass, and the need to cover your shame with alcohol fills your patience. obviously, you asked cheol to come to get another drink, and fulfilling his promise, he took your hand and walked with you downstairs to the bar. the crowd was heavy that night, which wouldn't bother you on any other occasion, but on this one felt the anxiety fill your lungs and keep the oxygen out. to make matters worse, a guy a little shorter than cheol walked up to him. you saw them hugging and understood immediately that they hadn't seen each other for a long time "babe, give me a minute. pay for the drinks, today it's on me" he took out his wallet again and put it in your hands "you'll be fine" you nodded with a smile, knowing would be very selfish if you told him otherwise "i'll be right back" cheol kissed your hand lightly before disappearing into the crowd. the thought of running into yunho, that girl or one of his friends hit your mind immediately afterwards, and had to take a deep breath not to run upstairs, because you didn't feel confident enough to face any of them, especially not your damn ex. luckily, you were served quickly and soon had full glasses in hands, so you opened cheol's wallet to pay the bill. that's when you met up again with the little black baggie.

the idea inevitably crossed your mind. looked around to find the people and the music were thick and mingled inside you with heaviness, feeling genuinely overwhelmed and the night didn't seem to be getting any better. although you'd already had one, this time it hadn't had any effect, so maybe… a second pill wouldn't be such a bad idea, would it? before you could think clearly - and realize that it was a terrible idea - you had the pill in your teeth, putting the bag back in seungcheol's wallet, who appeared seconds later accompanied by the same guy from earlier. you sighed, honestly a little uneasy because it was the first time you'd taken two pills in one night, but were too sober to stay on your feet. had run out of any strategy to keep you distracted and your gaze kept coming back to yunho and that damn girl over and over again. you were afraid of being too obvious, starting to cry again, or that some guy in that fucking group would notice you staring at them. "vernon, meet my favourite girl" the presentations were short, but pleasant. you soon find out that he's actually american and has been living there for a while, so it was great to see cheol again, a feeling that soon rubbed off on you. he was a really strange guy, but funny and very, very nice.

after talking to vernon for a while, which really kept you distracted - wouldn't be lying if you said that meeting him was almost a promise that the night could get better - it wasn't long before you finally felt your body react chemically. no clue if it was the fact that you were a little more relaxed, or that the dose was already high enough to have an effect on someone who was already used to a single pill, but suddenly, felt energetic and some kind of adrenaline rush hit you, along with the urge to expend that shot of electricity by partying for real. pulling your new friend along towards the same destination, the rest soon followed, tired from sitting on those leather couches all night. when finally made your way through the crowd of people, the music vibrated through your body, causing you to crack a smile that felt like it would tear at the corner of your lips. you knew yunho was close, but at that moment, didn't give a shit, focusing on nothing but your breathing becoming heavy in your chest as you jumped on the track, your heart pumping so fast that couldn't count the beats even if you wanted to.

at the height of the ecstasy you were experiencing for the first time, it felt like hours had passed, but in actual fact it only took two or three songs for the situation to change radically. in one of your little hops to the music, you clearly felt your knees failing to break your fall, and if it hadn't been for vernon and seungcheol's quicker arms, you would have crashed to the floor along with your glass, which shattered into pieces. it wasn't a big deal, and if you were in your senses, would have laughed at the situation and the fact that had already broken two glasses in one day. but not right then.

right then, you felt like every single look in thet club was falling on you. the hollow sound of glass crashing on the floor deafened you for a moment, and you could only focus on all those judgmental stares on your body, as if they knew you had just fucked up. as if they knew you had been dumped for someone else, that you were high and that, in reality, you would rather have taken cheol's first offer and gone home to rest and cry all the broken feelings pouring out of your heart. your breathing, once heavy, now became scarce. you had to hold on tightly to vernon's arm, who brought both hands to your sides to give you balance "beautiful, are you okay?" cheol asked you and you looked him practically panic-stricken in the eyes. you wanted to say no, that your heart was going too fast but you had no strength in either leg. you then tried to speak, but sickness built up in the pit of your stomach, causing a gag and forcing you to cover your mouth with a hand and only deny it.

seungcheol's reaction was, thankfully, fast. he whispered something in vernon's ear that you couldn't hear and gave you a quick smile before he disappeared running, or trying to, into the crowd. so far, you had been drinking quite a lot and quite possibly too much, so he opted not to waste a second trying to help. you wanted to follow him, confused and increasingly dizzy, but vernon held you tightly and forced a hand around his waist for a better grip "he'll be back. come with me upstairs" spoke in your ear. he broke away, looking at your legs slightly bent under your own weight "can u walk?" you nodded, gripping his waist even tighter before starting to move.

you had never experienced this feeling before. your legs were not responding and could clearly feel your body getting heavier by second, along with the involuntary bouncing of your head, like you had been drinking uncontrollably all night. it got worse as you approached the stairs, each step becoming a world, "there is not much left" vernon said, trying to cheer you up. you could see how was struggling not to fall down the stairs pulling your weight up, and couldn't help but feel stupid and helpless, because your head seemed to be working quite fast, with some clarity, but no part of your body wanted to cooperate. it was only when vernon finally managed to drop you into one of the couches in the reserved area that the fear really took over. every muscle in your body was so numb that you barely felt it, "easy, stay easy, you're fine" vernon knelt down in front of you to be at the height of your face, holding your hands and trying to comfort you. then he approached your face, looking closely at your pupils, trying not to be too obvious. didn't want to think about it, he wanted to be wrong. but either fortunately or not, vernon was quite sure of what was happening to you, and even though he tried to calm you down, because he also knew that it would be much worse if you found out, he was scared, and the deep black that suffocated your iris did not help.

seungcheol finally arrived with several small bottles of water and a tiny towel he had to ask for at the bar. you listened with a certain distance as vernon explained that your body was practically dead and you swore that you could hear your friend's heart racing as he realized how bad it really was at that point. you wanted to ask what was happening, but couldn't find any voice and only had the ability to cry, which you did when you saw cheol giving you a look of panic. he sat down on a chair in front of you and took both of your hands "hey, don't cry, don't cry" he began "i've called chaeyoung, we'll be leaving soon" you nodded in tears "but first u have to be honest with me, okay?" nodded again "did u drink something u didn't buy yourself? or any of us?" you denied this time, cheol sighed in relief "so you drank a lot then?" denied again. well, you actually drank a lot, but not enough to have you that bad.

"cheol, it's not alcohol, she's high" the music still raged in your ears and your senses weren't working properly, but you could hear vernon clearly. his words hit you like a bucket of cold water, making you cry even harder.

"high? like, drugged?" cheol repeated, notoriously confused. he was dead sure he had only given you a single pill, nothing you hadn't done a thousand times before.

"did u give her anything?" vernon denied, "nothing" he spoke honestly, "but these symptoms are not from drinking too much alcohol" vernon's voice was also full of concern, but he spoke with much more confidence than seungcheol. you opened your mouth to say sorry, wanted to tell the truth and apologize for being so stupid and irresponsible, but once again a gag forced you to shut up, sobbing in your seat in defeat as you tightened the grip of cheol's hands.

"what happened!?" you immediately recognized the voice of your friend nearby, and soon the left side of the couches sank, "u okay?" she cradled your face with both hands, getting a bad surprise when she saw the paleness of your skin soaked with tears.

"think it might be an overdose," Vernon spoke, "she've taken something, hasn't she?" your friends nodded.

"but we've done it many times, nothing like this has ever happened before." chaeyoung's voice cracked as she tried to talk to vernon.

"she must have taken something else" he approached your face again, lighting you up with his phone to see that your pupils, which turned your irises practically black, barely reacted to the intense light of the flashlight "for the moment she is awake, but it might be a matter of time before she collapses"

"don't mess with me, man" cheol complained, "we have to call an ambulance"

vernon took a deep breath before he replied "if you do, remember that this is punishable in korea" his voice seemed much more loaded with anxiety "she is not going to get rid of his drug use easily."

"and what should we do? expect the worst!?" chaeyoung was crying. you heard it clearly in her voice, and you felt your heart break for the second time that night, guilt and fear paralyzing any little sense you had left in your body, hating yourself for bringing yourself to such situation.

"of course not!" you felt the other end of the couch sink way, "we need to try getting her to vomit while she still awake"

"are u sure about that?" cheol insisted, but vernon shook his head.

"i'm not, but given the sympthons and her dilated pupils, it might be."

the next event was something you wished with all your might you could wipe from your memory, but clearly it would stay with you forever, as a lesson. the three of them accompanied you, practically dragging your body, to the toilet upstairs. it was chaeyoung who helped you vomit using her own fingers, succeeding after several attempts. the bile and tears stained your face, making you feel miserable in the cheol's arms, who tried to comfort your sobbing. when they succeeded, they sighed with a sigh of relief. chaeyoung hugged you after wiping her hands, and you felt guilty again because you could still smell the stink of your vomit on her. the crying increased as they tried to comfort you, and the worst part is, as you sat on the white bathroom floor, with your head resting on cheol's chest and your other two friends trying to soothe what was obviously pain, the only person you could think of was yunho, hoping that he would somehow find out what was happening, and come to take care of you. "i'm gonna get the water from the table, try to rinse her face while" vernon spoke again.

you heard the door close, and soon after, chaeyoung closed the lock to prevent anyone from seeing you in that situation. cheol tried to lift your body, but, oddly enough, it was even heavier than before. sure you had vomited, as vernon suggested, but you didn't feel any better - the nausea was still there and all the strength in your body was just a memory. all you could do was cry "chae" he called her "chae, it's not okay" the trembling in your friend's voice finally confirming reality, was the last push before anxiety, or panic, or maybe both, took over. you began to hyperventilate, the little air that filled your lungs left and felt a horrible pressure in your chest. your legs were shaking involuntarily and although you could feel your friends holding you up, had no stability at all. you were falling. their voices were still present, calling out to you in sheer terror, lightly patting your face as the lights dimmed. until you could no longer open your eyes. it was barely a couple of minutes, seconds for you and an eternity for your friends, but your consciousness faded for a moment, and your body became completely lifeless. by the time you opened your eyes again, the white light blinded you slightly before could clearly see the face of your friends surrounding you again, swollen and drenched "fuck, she's awake!" cheol practically shouted. you quickly pulled yourself back up, taking a big breath of air before running back out to the toilet to vomit. chaeyoung followed, brushing your hair away from your face as she patted your back. you could still hear her sobbing.

"let's go home" you mumbled, relieving a little more of chae's fear, who was yet to come out of shock at how you had ended up. you, who had always been an angel, who once trembled at the thought of taking something illegal or dangerous, were now slumped over the toilet bowl, messed up and on the verge of something she would have regretted for the rest of her fucking life.

didn't have to ask twice, all of your friends without exception, even including vernon, never left leave your side for a second -genuinely scared after seeing you in such a situation-, left the place. as you dodged the crowd, you thought about what could have happened, and you couldn't even have asked for medical help without ruining your record and destroying your working future in the country. you thought about what had done to your friends, who felt helpless and lost without knowing how and when you had consumed so much as to push yourself to the limit. but most of all, being infinitely selfish, you thought about how the only person you would really want to walk you home that night, to comfort you, to hold you and not let go until the next morning, was yunho. but the only, and the last, thing you got from him after all, was a last glimpse of his arm around that other girl you had been seeing him with all night, without him even giving you a single glance as you left that fucking club.

as you walked away from his figure, blurring through the salt that irritated your eyes, realized something that clicked in your mind like the piece of a puzzle you had been trying to complete for too long, and it is that the bitter taste of failure that agonized in your head and that did not let you breathe was actually the certainty that you had lost the only thing you thought you could still keep from yunho after he betrayed you in that way, after confirmed that he did not love you by doing something like this, that he was not faithful to you, that he was not yours. you had lost the one thing you could still treasure as your greatest and darkest obsession, you had lost his attention.

and with that, you had lost him forever.

OKAY ITS HERE!!! i struggled too much with that part because, although i had been thinking about it for a while, i had no idea how to write it to try to convey a sense of real loss and despair. i hope i succeeded at least a little bit!!! and above all that you enjoyed reading it ♡ although it is the last part, there is still the epilogue!!!!! and i am seriously thinking if it should be a good or bad one... anyway, thank you very much for reading me and giving love to my work, i am infinitely grateful ♡

all the loveeeee

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘♡⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

☆tags☆ @yeosangsbbg @atinyluv238 @livingdeadlisa-blog @kunikku @yzaeseong @pearltinyy @txt-yaomi @tunaasan @honeyhwaaa

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spop-romanticizes-abuse · 6 months

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Actually hang on, that AU would have so much potential.

Adora seeing Imp as her chaotic little sibling who helps out with pranks etc but might also snitch on her and Catra. Also, more internal conflict because he and Hordak are, at least on some level, family to her.

The other cadets not interacting with C and A because A is Hordak's protegee and C is SW's. Both of them are scary, so C and A really only have each other, which makes their separation in s1 only hurt more and make Catra all the more obsessed with getting Adora back bc she literally doesn't have anyone else (until Scorpia) (she could bond with Imp?)

Catra struggling to bond with Scorpia and accepting her friendship because she never had any friends outside Adora so, oops, social skills whomst? But eventually learning how to be a decent friend and growing as a person, as well as letting the sting of Adora's departure fade a little. She gets to grow as a person AWAY from Adora so that once she does join the Alliance, she is a bit more functional.

Catra worrying about Scorpia during s5.

Catra, spying at Angela interacting with Glimmer: oh ew what is this? Affection? What a cheap attempt at manipulation. -> Wait a minute, this looks... nice, actually. -> If she's the evil one, why is she such a good mom? -> Why isn't SW being this good to me? -> FUCK OFF SHADOW WEAVER YOU'RE A HORRIBLE MOM I'M OUTTA HERE.

Adora getting dragged back to the Horde in s3 and Hordak potentially acting like a disappointed father whose teenage daughter came home late from a party.

"Did you get everything out of your system? Y'know, Horde Prime would've killed me if I did what you did. You should be grateful."

[some character development later] "Hey, wait a minute... You shouldn't kill/brainwash people for doing that. HORDE PRIME IS AN ASSHOLE."

The comedy of Adora looking at Entrapta and Hordak interacting like "??????????????? HORDAK??? HAVING POSITIVE EMOTIONS??? DO I HAVE TO CALL ENTRAPTA MOM FROM NOW ON?????????"

Entrapta: I fucked your dad shitlips

Catra feeling genuinely horrible for Angela getting trapped between dimensions bc of the portal not only because she learned that Angela was good all along, but because she glimpsed what it's like to have a good mother figure and she took that away from Glimmer.

Maybe even Catra knocking some sense into Bow because he's mad that Glimmer did the stuff she did in s4. "Dude, cut her some slack. I know what it's like to be in position of authority (force captain) and it's stressful as hell. We were winning back then so you guys were losing badly and she was/is grieving. You do stupid shit when you're stressed and desperate (I would know, I made the portal happen.) So just... I'm still not 100% sure how to be a good friend so take what I say with a grain of salt but... Y'know, go easy on her."

^ character growth, shows willingness to forgive and thus bridge the gap between her and Adora. Results of being friends with Scorpia, feeling like shit when Scorpia left her, and the self reflection done throughout s4 following the "oh God I fucked up" at the end of s3.

No Melog. I'm sorry I just don't see the point. Instead, I'd really want to see Swiftwind be featured more heavily. Possibly Catra initially thinking he's weird bc she's never seen a horse before and later going "hey, you're close with Adora. Can we, uh, compare notes? I spent the last 3 seasons being her enemy and I'd like to go back to being her friend now. Help?"

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. this AU would have worked so much better than the trainwreck that we got. (also the idea of entrapta technically becoming adora's mom crossed my mind too, it would have been HILARIOUS)

#fans are better at coming up with a good plot at these people who are supposedly experienced writers #spop critical #spop #spop salt #spop criticism #spop discourse #she ra #anti spop

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bomberqueen17 · 9 months

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oops

lol yet again i missed doing my friday update schedule. in my defense, a lot's been going on. before I say anything else I should also say-- DMs on Tumblr currently do not work for me, the message thing shows me the preview but if I click on it, I absolutely cannot open the window, it will hang for literal days. I have the square blank in the corner of this tab as I am composing and no longer remember what I was trying to get it to open. So if you send me an IM on Tumblr I will only be able to read whatever of it is in the preview! So don't be offended if I never respond, because I can't write back because the window literally never opens. I got one to open yesterday but it was about 45 minutes and a lot of window reloading. I think it's safe to say that feature's just gotta be dead to me. RIP.

Anyway what's been up! my BFF from high school came thru Thursday night with her kids to stay in my cabin and i was a bit frantic getting the place ready, as it's not exactly listed on AirBnB. (She was like "oh wow this is a lot bigger and nicer than i thought" girl you were going to cram your children and yourself into a tiny half-finished shack with me? what??? jeez) and at the last minute Dude was like "oh i'm coming too" which, fortunately, I had put myself into a full-size bed on the pull-out couch so there was room for him to be there too but if this were any smaller a tiny house that would not have been possible. see, this is why i didn't actually build a tiny tiny house, it wouldn't have worked.

Anyway they left friday and i spent the day making sausage as fast as i could, and then in the afternoon dude helped me package it and then! i had! two full days! off! (ok i'm in the second of those days rn) so

saturday being My Birthday I made a snap decision that we were going to go see some art, so we drove over to the Clark Institute in Williamsburg MA (like a long half-hour away, it's not far) and saw some of my good buddies in the permanent collection.

(Mom used to take us kids there when we were little, and there are a lot of Renoirs and John Singer Sargent and some Frederic Rembrandt and Winslow Homer and whatnot, many of which I have seen so often as to consider old friends. (This Bougereau, Mom had a poster of on her bedroom wall, and I have always loved it. Apparently, my grandpa upon seeing it-- not the letters grandpa, the other one-- exclaimed of the one whose back faces the viewer "Oh Betty, it's you!" Betty being my grandma.)

I discovered quite by accident, while fucking around on my phone, that there was a Pokestop out in the courtyard, and the Pokestop was titled something about Jenny Holtzer, and i was like wait what and sure enough. There's a set of four white granite benches out there with Jenny Holtzer engravings on them.

This one is fucking brutal, as her shit tends to be:

[image description: a white granite bench engraved with the following text, somewhat darkened by pooled rainwater: "BY YOUR REPONSE TO DANGER IT IS EASY TO TELL HOW YOU HAVE LIVED AND WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO YOU YOU SHOW WHETHER YOU WANT TO STAY ALIVE, WHETHER YOU THINK YOU DESERVE TO, AND WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT'S ANY GOOD TO ACT."]

There was also a temporary exhibition of paintings and woodcuts/lithographs/prints by Norwegian artist Edvard Munch, yes including a lithograph of That Painting. Fairly stunning! Running thru October, I recommend it if you're in the area!

ok idk what else has been happening. i am so tired. i might play some pokey mans today but i also might just. not. really. do much of anything. which is boring and dumb and won't make me feel better next week when i have to go back and do more work and have achieved none of my personal goals. but sometimes brain no worky, and that's that.

#about the author

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s1llydr3amscape · 20 days

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Here some ye olde Vanessa designs i managed to find sifting through my sketchbooks (pre sb!!!!) There's more but Its really deep in the trenches.

rip their 4head broo they have no brain 😔

I miss doing stylised stuff tbh but ppl bullied me for it so now whenever I do it I go 😭

very old art vs my current art style and oc's below + rambles :

this was right After the freaking posters released and oughhhh 😭😭😭😭 gurlll

top name cut off that Blaine guy are other human ocs I had for years!! They were in a comic with Vanessa and others heheheh I used to do comics 24/7!!! Ft my old fnaf ocs rival to fazbears who was better at keeping the safety aspect off their robots. I wanna ramble abt them too one day after a heavy rehaul. Vanessa actually switched jobs from my oc location to the Pizzaplex in it!!!! Because I hope Vanny and Vanessa were seperate!!!

Vanessa and Vanny were seperate people in my Rabbit City AU but idk if I still want them to be different or the same now. Also one of Glitchtraps workers who managed to break free from his control and he didn't like that and sent every piece of her crimes online on the Internet as this crazed murder. So now she's in a new city under hiding or face criminal charges she didn't commit willingly. She managed to dye her fur and change enough and became a roadie for this band that's not very good. (Ffps rockstars I love yall funky vibe I'm sorry yall died too soon). She wants to help people and protect them she knows there's others under Glitchtrap’s control and wants to put a stop to him. Sadly some off them don't seem like they want any help... She was a beagle dog because when I saw her I was like beagle!!!!

My longest one is my oc story that's bad and outdated which included 3 rap battles (i love rap sue me) and an orange cat with green eyes with wings mc who's name try and guess

Its Winger.... (yeah because he was based off Scootaloo having small wings so young me thought ohhh Winged but like Winger because unlike scootaloo he can fly and is a winner!!! 💀💀💀 he also had beef with nyan cat oc over a girl and could transform into different elements!!! Like nature fire ice and rainbow... the main main main mc tho is a brown green eyed cat who was half robot after an accident... God looking back what was I on (I got into mlp and had unrestricted Internet access)

then we had this off my old sona... I didn't know how to draw fat could you tell... dark times oughhhh I wasn't blind tho then win 💀 alot of my older older art is traditional so you may not see it unless I sift through 17 layers off hell. Wish I backed up more of my 2019-2020 digital art tho but those were the darkest times for me also wait eewwww no eyebrows

ive gotten better and fr be the change you wanna see in this world draw fat bitches!!!! going down the rabbit hole

that one barbie trend I didn't finish look at the hands boy ouggh insane sauce I drew that

I miss drawing like this lowkey but my hand hurty and god ibis crashes every 25 minutes u was gonna gonna feral bro

self love is drawing urself accurately irl after years of drawing a caricatures of yourself (My first human sona ever was a skinny white woman with long neon yellow hair and a purple streak </3)

Gremlin from earlier I learned color theory aswell but only for purple, green and brown oops <333

I figured I could give it an oval nose because I didn't know how to draw my nose at all. Big ass nose death off me real!!! I love :3 face so much and big ass ears!!!! I will make them have big ass ears they are fun!!!!

These are my sonas I have like 4 rn and a million in thr vault (progress is progressing)

old oc his name is Jamie now and he's from a dream I had. Literally an incel too like he's studying magic got so fed up no one in his own world wanted him. Used magic to find his soul mate who existed in another universe. Made a portal to get there and take her back to his world because he wouldn't comply in a non magic world. When he arrived to her world almost died turning white and green. And like still managed to get the girl back to his world (Akuma's a goober who wanted to be isekaid) and yeah. Like huh my guy chill out 😭😭😭😭 no wonder you ain't getting any. He also killed me in the dream and is so dumb for being a prodigy??? Like he made a business selling illegal potions with the company name just vile.... his own initials... like bro how are you not caught. I can't with him. I pray opun his downfall and can't wait to see what other shit he pulls outta his ass. I feel bad for the Akuma she just wanted to escape not knowing this guy a freak.

heres him now!! He's much more dream accurate with the current events so far!!!!! If he appears next time I hope he croaks fr from the magic sickness like bro u a freak freak /neg

But yeah improvement is real!!! my art process is slower now (carpal tunnel) but I love to draw so much it is so fun if my bitchass ibis won't crash that is hehehehe (it crashed a million times trying to first time make a comic digitally I'm 💥💥💥)

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thatonefatgumsimp · 7 months

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Which Secret Life POVs I've Watched So Far (will be updated and edited as I finish)

OK so I may or may not have gotten distracted again- oops- but basically I'm putting here which POVs I've already watched in full and what my first thought about each one was.

-WARNING: wall of texts and ramblings from an mcyt obsessed audhd under the cut...and also spoilers. Don't click unless you're ready for simultaneously spoilers and an ungodly amount of text lol-

Grian: "God this series is so hype I can't wait to see what all happens and- OMG GEM IS HERE! :D GEM IS GREAT! I can't wait to see her kick Etho's ass at PvP again /lh ...waiminute...is that logo on the statue...is that the Watcher logo??? Huh??? Wait...and why does it have the same mossiness of the Entity and Grian's s9 base? Suspicious...OMG the chaotic Best Friend energy with Mumbo and Grian- tbh would be me and my best friend on any given day. Amazing. Their laughter is so infectious too lmao- Oough merch! Pretty :3 Wait it's over already? Aweeeeh ): can't wait for the next episode tho!"

Mumbo: "Wait he switched sides of the circle when Martyn punched Jimmy lmaoooo just like 'these people are crazy, save me, Grian-' 💀 The best friend energy omg still amazing I love their dynamic so much! Ooh a sideways house that *IS* an interesting idea! WHY DOES JIMMY KEEP BREAKING THE CRAFTING TABLES LMAO Hmmmmm Impulse ik cherry blossom is great, but that salesman voice is indeed very sus. I'm with Mumbo on this one."

Skizz: "Idk I watched it when I was very tired last night and all I remember is 'Awwweh a frog! Take care of him...WH- TANGO!!!' and also him apologizing to Gem which was very nice. Oh yeah and love island <3"

Jimmy: "Alright, Timmy, you've got this. Just don't die and- OMG MARTYN NOOOO LMAOO- Aweeeh it's like when you have a really young sibling or you're, like, a parent or something and you kiss the child's scraped knee to make it feel better- 🥺 wholesome. THANK YOU! I thought I was alone in recognizing that symbol, thank you for acknowledging it. JIMMY LOOK OUT OMG YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK! OK but the task. This man is an absolute menace lol. Aweh that's very nice of Scar to compliment Jimmy's outfit! SCOTT LMFAOOOO YOU'RE SO RIGHT, BUT AT THE SAME TIME 💀 Jimmy building in the Mesa? Tumble Town 2 electric boogaloo?? 'Hmmmm if Scar's building a shack, we're gonna have to have a shack-off, mine's better.' NO JIMMY DON'T STEAL THE CAMEL! D: pftttt Scar would- remember the Relation-ship? And the Ranch? Arson boy lol. THE VALLEY GIRL ACCENT I CAN'T- 😭"

Scar: "OK, Scar, you can do the task, I believe in you. I've seen 4 other POVs which prove that you failed, but I still believe in you. OMG THAT'S WHY HE COMPLIMENTED JIMMY'S OUTFIT LMAOOO I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION- So true, Scott. So true. But you can't stop them, they're still gonna end up neighbors. I know, I already watched Jimmy's POV. SCAR NOOOO YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM- The way he jumped in the water- 💀 hc that c!Scar shook out his long-ish messy brown hair like a dog after that. Cuz he would. 'I'll make an exception for you. The first and ONLY exception.' if someone doesn't use this as, like, a fanfic title or something I swear- literally perfect material for a c!Scarian fic title. AWEEEEEEH HE CALLED GRIAN THE LIGHT OF HIS LIFE- I CAN'T BHATGLFYSJBJSRSKBLBK 🥺 Scar just like 'y'all crazy. Bye.' AWEEEEH GRIAN AND SCAR'S CAMEL RIDE! DESERTDUODESERTDUODESERTDUODESERTDUO! The way they stare at the hole Big B dug like *insert surprised Pikachu here* awwwwweh the way he let Grian have the cactus monopoly 🥺 you will never not convince me that bullying is their love language. c!desertduo bullies each other affectionately...I'm so normal about c!desertduo I promise- HE TALKED ABOUT ASOKA FOR 30 MINUTES OFC HE DID- 💀😭 I was wondering why he didn't include it lmao- NOT SCAR TREATING THE CAMEL LIKE A DISNEY RIDE LOL learning about the task goodies with Tango, Jimmy, and Scar 101 'IS IT A ROCKET' LMAOOOOO- HE'S SUFFOCATING AGAIN- SCAR BE CAREFULLLLL!!! Ik it's not in the comments, but, I GOT TO THIS POINT AND I'M ENJOYING IT, SCAR! Love this series sm and I'm only 5 POVs in lol. 'It's looking kinda like a shack' 'fancy house and exotic materials' indeed, Etho. Also yes, Scar, part of what gave it away is that ur favorite color is orange lol /lh the fact that Jimmy is the only one I've seen to call him 'Obi' when he says 'Hello There'- amazing. 'Nonono it's not a shack, look at that entrance!' But, Scar, you just said- ...OK- 'this is my shack' OK, Scar I'm confused. Is it or isn't it a shack? Ofc he cut out the arson threats and allegations smh /lh 'until next time, we'll see you later, and don't forget to subscribe because you may just become. SCARRRRED FOR LIFE!' ...yes I've memorized his outro-"

Martyn: "Wait OK before we start- are we sure that punching Jimmy didn't just, like, transfer the canary's curse? /lh like it could also be that he won last series and now he's the 'wet cat' of the first episode like I saw in another post, but like, what if?? I guess we'll see, huh? The awkward 'goodbye' and then walking the same way lmaooo 💀 Lizzie and Gem: 'WE HAVE TO GET TO THE CHERRY BLOSSOMS!' Martyn: 'uhhhhh anyways so-' what am I gonna get? Well uhhh probably one of the life hoodies, but I'll probably have to convince my mom to get it as a Christmas gift cuz I already spent a lot in the last month cuz I have no self control- but yeah probably the balloon hearts hoodie or the drippy hearts one. Love those. 'Ofc no wearing helmets' Scar, who has a helmet: 'Hi, Martyn!' 'oh mY GOd you scared me-' Payback for the jumpscare to Grian last series /lh /hj 'friends?' 'friends?' 'friends?' 'Helloooooo!' 'Martyn!' Idk why but that interaction made me exhale like- just imagine shouting through the walls in a cave to your friends irl. Omg now I'm imagining it with the reverb- 'you couldn't spare a heart, could you?' gives off the vibes of 'please sir, could I have some more?' Oliver Twist who? /lhj Bdubs and his chainmail lol 'THERE'S A SPAWNER?!' yeah...he's definitely having a rough first session- o7 'what is happening out there-?' I'd like to know too, Martyn, unfortunately I haven't watched their POVs yet. Also Etho saying 'BDUBS RUN! HIDE!' I- I'm normal about c!Ethubs I promise- 'YOU GOT HORSE ARMOR?!' ofc the local horsegirl /lhhj would ask about that lol- NOT ETHO TURNING INTO CANADIAN DAVID ATTENBOROUGH AND NARRATING HIS, MARTYN'S, AND BDUBS' ADVENTURES THROUGH THE CAVE- I- 💀 'this could go viral' true, Bdubs lol. BDUBS' MIC CUTTING OUT I'M CRYING- Gem's reaction of 'a what?!' and Scott's response of 'we just don't have a healer' is just perfect lol. Love that. WE'RE PLAYING THE MARTYN GETS NERFED MOD! TODAY WE CODED IT SO ALL THE MOBS ATTACK MARTYN AND ONLY MARTYN! that's the vibes Scott's comment gave me lol- 12 HEARTS?!? MARTYN!! OMG BE MORE CAREFUL!!! This Martyn nerf hitting hard- 'this could be really bad if I get poisoned-' YES IT COULD, MARTYN, YOU'RE ALREADY AT 12 HEARTS- IT'S LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO BE THE FIRST TO YELLOW- /lh bro Martyn being risky is making my anxiety go 📈📈📈📈📈 BE MORE CAREFUL, MARTYN, PLS- I BEG OF U- MARTYN GOING TO THE NETHER- 📈📈📈 MARTYN THERE ARE GHASTS- PLEASE- I- AAAAAAAAAAAAA! MARTYNNNN! OMG! IS HE ALWAYS THIS RISKY, USUAL MARTYN VIEWERS?! CUZ IF SO IDT I'M GONNA SURVIVE BINGING ALL THE LIFE SERIES- 'ughhh I swear, dude, I swear, I'm gonna cry!!!' I AM TOO, PLEASE STOP GETTING INTO DANGER, MARTYN- Martyn saying damnit is me the whole time he's out risking his hearts. My heart can't take this kind of pressure, Martyn please stop being so riskyyyy- 😭 nINE HEARTS- MARTYN!!!! Istg I'm not surviving this episode- my heart is just- 📈📈📈📈📈📈📈 his pICKAXE BROKE?! OH YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! 'OH MY GOD, THE SUN!' I'M HAPPY TOO, HOPEFULLY HE DOESN'T LOSE TOO MANY MORE HEARTS. 'I've been to the nether and everything!' Yeah, imma be honest, I don't get that one. Like, didn't you write a song lITERALLY CALLED 'Screw The Nether' with friends????! /lh Lizzie's 'oh wow' 💀 fIVE AND A HALF HEARTS!! MARTYNNNN!!! OMG! 📈📈📈 NOT THE DROWNED- 😭 LEAVE HIM ALONE, BRUH, HE JUST TRYNA SURVIVE- Martyn panicking- same, bestie- Lizzie just like 'oh you stole my bed? Didn't notice' 💀 #1 way to tempt a horsegirl: offer something to protect his horse /lhj Cleo's laugh lol- infectious. MARTYN ZOOMING IN AND JIMMY JUST BRINGING BACK SCAR'S CAMEL IN THE BACKGROUND I CAN'T-"

OK I'm posting this and I'll rb for the other POVs, but Cleo's next.

So let's see, next rb is probably gonna be Cleo, Gem, Tango, Scott, Bdubs, and Pearl.

Third rb is probably gonna be Etho, Joel, Lizzie, Impulse, and BigB.

3 maybe 4 rb max.

#YOOOO THANK GOD IT SAVED MOST OF THIS IN DRAFTS I CLICKED AWAY AND FORGOT TO SAVE I WAS ABOUT TO CRY-#tofs musings #my thoughts on the first session of Secret Life #secret life #secret life spoilers #trafficblr #traffic life smp #grian #mumbo jumbo #skizzleman #solidaritygaming #goodtimeswithscar #inthelittlewood #also the reason that some of them are way longer is cuz I'm writing them as I watch and not after the fact

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sisterofficerlucychen · 2 months

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hi ✌ i'm back on defending celina juarez to death. i think part of what keeps rubbing me the wrong way about celina and nolan's dynamic is when something goes wrong, celina's the one only one at fault (in nolan's eyes).

i keep thinking about how celina failed to clear the room because she got distracted by the injured woman. did she mess up? yes. but the fact that nolan's response is "see that it doesn't" when she says it won't happen again like he's not at fault too? as if he shouldn't be teaching her better?

a student is only as good as their teacher and her misses are his - which have been pointed out to him. it's frustrating that she keeps making these little mistakes when she should know better but hasn't been taught better.

anyway, back to the scene — celina never called code 4, she called nolan into the room and he assumed it was clear. he never bothered to take a second to ask if she finished clearing the room when he never heard it come through the radio and she never said it once he was in the room with her. he's been a cop for more than five minutes, he should have known to double check with his rookie that the room was clear instead of calling code 4.

i keep thinking back to what tim said in 2x19: "Rookies aren't used to the adrenaline. They get amped up. It's lights and sirens syndrome" which i think applies here?? celina might not have charged at a suspect during a felony stop but she saw someone severely injured after already finding two dead bodies and switched to instinct instead which was to try to save the woman who was just barely alive.

something else that i keep coming back to as well is how grey told nolan he had the potential to be a great training officer because he didn't fit any of the four type of training officers and encouraged him to take the best qualities of the leaders and mentors he had to make his own category but it feels like instead of doing this what he's doing instead is jumping from being one type to another because he's still trying to figure out what those qualities are? he'll be swing from one end of being a super lax to the opposite end of laying down the law. nolan may teach by asking (which i agree with aaron, is a very under appreciated method) but he doesn't correct the same way which is a huge miss.

perhaps one of the few times he actually corrected celina in a way that helped her grow was at the literal start of her rookie year when he validated her "instincts" and worked with her to justify why and how to help her understand how she got to that conclusion when it was clearly pointing her toward the right direction. it's just been a downfall after that.

every time it's been pointed out that it's his fault because he's her training officer he's like "oops, my b~~" but then it keeps happening again?

it feels like this might be a potential plot because of how it's been back to back mistakes now? and i really hope it's not celina who gets thrown under the bus with nolan coming out scot-free because she has proven herself to have potential, she just needs someone to train her better.

#the rookie #celina juarez #john nolan #the rookie spoilers

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borisbubbles · 5 months

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Eurovision 2023: #23

23. GERMANY Lord of the Lost - "Blood and glitter" 26th place

youtube

Decade ranking: 66/116 [Above Hurricane, below Fyr og Flamme]

Well, we've arrived in the zone of Mild Like, also known as the "I like them, buuuuut". There's eleven of these motherfuckers in this vaguely positive purgatory, so let's do some but-kicking for Goodness.

As you know, I didn't like the 2023 contest much, so a lot of these entries are either mixed with slightly more good than evil, or kinda bad but i enjoyed them anyways. Bringing up the rear of that crop is Lord of the Lost, who are kind of both?

Honestly, kind of a similar deal to Latvia. It seemed Germany would finally be getting televote points courtesy of a non-embarrassing entry that wasn't also dead on arrival, and it also looked like the televote score would be a sufficient enough amount to avoid dead last for a year... but then they only scored 15 televotes and finished last anyway.

The problem is two-fold. The first one is that Voyager exist, jesus talk about an outclass. "Promise" is several magnitudes better than "Blood and glitter" both as a song and an act, the literal centrepiece of the Grand Final's ironclad Estonia-Moldova streak. (expect several of songs from that streak to rank ABSURDLY high). By the time Germany were up, only a short while after Australia, you instinctively compare the two and realize LotL doesn't pack the same impact (issue #2)

Why though? Well, I hypothesize "Blood and glitter" doesn't quite know what to do with itself. The start is great, though. I love the first minute or so of "Blood and Glitter", a camp unapologetic fiesta of body horror (in part because Chris forgot to un-untuck himself oop), grindhouse metal and LGBT allyness. We ALL like a bit of "Blood and glitter, Sweden bitter".

At least, i hope you did, because you're going to hear that line all the time during the remaining two minutes.

See, once "Blood and Glitter" hits that second minute mark, it succumbs to its own inane repetitions and rapidly turns into a non-event. THIS IS AN UNACCEPTABLE RECOURSE FOR A GLAM ROCK SONG. NO amount of Danny Voyager absense can amend that. Is it that difficult to just... provide different words for the bridge and final chorus? More aggro camera cuts? A wider colour pallette near the end? (yeah i know Blood, but WHERE IS THE GLITTER?!) A dress change? Some form of growth, some form of evo? When even the folks that know no English pick up on the persistent rehashing because the bag of tricks has been EMPTIED by the halfway mark.

So like Latvia, I don't think Germany deserved another bad result, but once it happened, yeah of course it did. Would not skip on the playlist though. And hey, nobody can take away from them that they are King Charles's favourites. 😊 (lol i'm like 85% sure Charles had no idea who they were and walked into them by chance but who am i to shatter dreams?)

THE RANKING

also for the first time since I started blogging, a mid-ranking placement REVISION!

Nature is healing. 😇

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #ESC #ESC 2023 #Eurovision 2023 #Liverpool 2023 #Germany #Lord of the Lost #Blood and Glitter #BorisBubbles #Youtube

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howlingday · 1 year

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The Schnee Family

Whitely: According to the schedule, in less than five minutes, we will begin family discussions regarding the company's global control.

Weiss: I really doubt we'll actually discuss anything.

Winter: I'm willing to bet lien that you're wrong.

Jacques: (Enters) Children, welcome. The others should be joining us shortly.

Winter: Others?

Bleiss: (Walks in) Ugh, this place still smells like old people taint... (Sees siblings) Oh! Ahem! ...Greetings, dearest family.

Weiss: What is SHE doing here?

Jacques: She is just as much a part of this family as the rest of you, Weiss.

Weiss: That's easy for you to say; I've actually LIVED with her!

Jacques: And YOU literally threw me in prison!

Bleiss: Really? Shit, I wish I was there.

Weiss: He's exaggerating.

Winter: Is he, though? You did throw him pretty hard into that cell with your glyphs.

Bleiss: (Laughs) I forgot what it was like having a family! And how much I fucking hate it.

Jacques: Enough bickering! You're all gathered here for one purpose...

Schneebling: To help take over the world.

Jacques: Okay! Well... Yes. Yes, that is why you are all gathered here.

Bleiss: Okay, no. I have a better idea, Jackie. Why don't we all participate in a nice, healthy family activity?

Jacques: I refuse.

Bleiss: Come on~! A little family competition never hurt anyone.

Whitely: I... can't help but agree. There are innumerable statistics to support her claim that competitions are healthy. I suggest a contest to see who can suck the most dick.

Bleiss: Up-bup-bup! Don't listen to him! Let's start with something simple. Perhaps a family game?

Whitely: Hide and suck dick?

Bleiss: Wh- No! Dammit, Whitely! That is not a family game!

Winter: I refuse to associate myself with this degenerate.

Bleiss: Oh, come on, Winny! I'm just as much your sister as you are mine~.

Winter: All the more reason for me to throw up elsewhere. (Leaves)

Bleiss: Hmph... What about you, sister? What's your suggestion?

Weiss: Oh, so now my opinion matters?

Bleiss: Okay, look, I was kind of preoccupied-

Weiss: Debasing yourself until you were Jaune's pig-slut?

Bleiss: That's not what he calls me.

Weiss: That's what you are, and you know it!

Bleiss: I didn't intend for those photos to be leaked! They were for my private collection!

Weiss: I'm aware, because you only share them with me!

Jacques: Enough bickering! Children, we must seize this opportunity to take over- WAH!

Willow: (Drops glyph, Jacques falls down) Oops! Was that me? I'm so sorry... Sometimes I forget my own strength. (Notices Bleiss) You're... Gelé's girl, aren't you? My, look at how you've grown. Last I saw you, I was holding you in my arms. Who would have thought you'd have grown to be so beautiful?

Bleiss: Haha, yeah... Uh, who's the MILF?

Weiss: Oh, that's right. You never officially met our mother.

Bleiss: Wait... HE FUCKS?!

Whitely: Uh, I can confirm that, for a time, our father did indeed fuck.

Bleiss: OH GOD, I SEE IT WHEN I CLOSE MY FUCKING EYES! ARGH! (Falls backwards)

Willow: Fufufu... I've heard you've become quite the huntress, and have even managed to court a handsome young man at that. Perhaps you can bring him to the manor for a proper introduction? If you permit, of course.

Bleiss: Ahem! Uh, y-yes, of course.

Jacques: This is blasphemy! I will not be usurped in my own home! AGAIN!

Weiss: (Readies glyph) I regret nothing.

Bleiss: Okay, can we all calm the fuck down?

Knock, knock, knock

Gyeiss: Oh, um, is this, like, a totally bad time?

Jacques: ...I can explain.

Bleiss: Oh, you mother FU

#rwby #devilartemis #jacques schnee #winter schnee #weiss schnee #whitely schnee #whitley schnee #bleiss schnee #willow schnee #gyaru weiss schnee #gyeiss #gyaru weiss au #gyaru weiss

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joeybaboo20 · 1 year

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Incorrect PJO Quotes From A Random Generator (ft. The Seven + Will, Nico, Thalia, Calypso & Reyna)

Will : We both look very handsome tonight. Nico: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you." Will : I couldn't take that chance.

Percy: yawns Annabeth: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring. Percy: Then you must be exhuasted. Frank: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

Nico: So, you lied to me? Leo: That depends on how you define lying. Nico: Well, I define it as not telling the truth. How do you define it? Leo: Um, reclining your body in a horizontal position?

Piper: Have you done this before? Nico: Well, Piper, it's like if you read the script you come better prepared. Leo: That's not what we do in the US, we don't read things. Piper: I don't read, Nico.

Percy: Oh and for your information, I don't have an ego. Percy: My facebook photo is a landscape.

Percy: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go. Annabeth: Those are wanted posters!

Nico: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

Jason: Get your hand off my shield! Annabeth: There's like a million other shields. Jason: Take that one, it has a flower on it. Girls like flowers. Annabeth: hits Jason with the shield Oops! Now this one has blood on it.

Annabeth: It's locked. You got a lock pick? Percy: Yeah- Leo: kicks in the door

Reyna: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be? Nico: Maybe a bit tipsy? Will: Drunk. Jason: Wasted. Percy: Dead.

Jason: Damn, Annabeth, are you secretly cool? Annabeth: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool. Jason: I do not.

Nico: My assistance will be an act of beneviolence. Will: …Don’t you mean benevolence? Nico: No.

out grocery shopping Nico: takes a free sample twice Nico: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel.

Percy: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning. Annabeth: This is a lie. Annabeth: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie. Annabeth: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

Percy: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreashing. Annabeth: Are you a software update? because not right now.

Hazel, holding up their class notes: And then this doodle of a burrito because when I first read Aristotle, I thought it was pronounced like “Chipotle”. Hazel, in shock: Wait a minute, is it “Chip-o-tottle”?

Calypso: I wish I had acid. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

Leo : I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

Calypso: We have a problem. Leo : No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Piper: May luck (and this picture of Jason eating shredded cheese at 3 in the morning) be with you.

Jason: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

Percy: Silence is golden. Thalia: Duct tape is silver.

Leo, dramatically: They called me a fool. Calypso, sick of Leo's shit: They weren’t wrong.

Frank: Please pray for Percy. Jason: What happened to them? Frank: Nothing, they’re just very stupid.

Percy: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. Piper: Percy: Vroom vroom, come out already.

Frank, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume? Leo: grabs and chugs the entire bottle Leo: Leo: It's perfume.

Frank: I can't believe there's a cat somewhere in my house. Amazing feeling. Love cats. And he's here, in my house! Somewhere! And I may encounter him! What a treat.

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miscelunaaa · 1 year

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flurious | ksj

pairing: seokjin x female reader

genre: college au ig. slice of life?? really I have no idea tbh

summary: it's fine, you're not mad at your best friend at all! in fact!! you're so fine that you're going to work off some steam just to prove how fine you are!!

rating: T for too much swearing

word count: 3k

warnings: Based On Real Events™️ (at least in part). Reader can’t ice skate. Lots of swearing. Reader is a stubborn piece of shit (affectionate). Himbecile Namjoon (derogatory). Unrequited crushes if you squint. Very cold winter environments. Small college vibes. Lots of talk about falling on one’s butt and bruises and common impact injuries associated with learning how to do coordinated things like ice skating for the first time; reader’s a tough nugget, she’s doing great. She might also have a slight pain kink oops. Vague prejudice against tenors I’m sorry. Crack if you squint. Angst if you squint. The only thing fluffy about this fic is Jin’s coat tbh, it’s intended to be more of a slice of life than anything else.

notes: Hi. It's missing Seokjin hours in the emothy household so have a short oneshot that I started months ago and randomly finished last night when I couldn't sleep. This really is actually based on a real experience I had, but that's all I'm going to say about the matter alksjhfalsjkdh

For once, I’m not feeling super long winded, so we’re going to leave it at that! Enjoy <3

my masterlist | my disclaimers | read on ao3

The student union is vacant when you walk into its warm, welcoming arms. It’s perfect. No one can judge you for what you’re about to attempt and that’s exactly what you want.

“I’d like to rent a pair of skates please,” you ask the student worker at the desk.

She blearily looks up from a thick textbook and asks for your shoe size before standing to fetch them from the equipment closet. In return for the skates, you leave your student I.D. The entire exchange takes mere seconds. You haven’t even regained the warmth in your nose before you’re stepping back out into the cold night and stomping off to the shabby, makeshift ice rink on the quad.

It’s a clear evening. The stars flicker coldly above, making the eerie yellow light of the campus’s many lamp posts seem warm in comparison. It’s a Saturday evening; no one’s wandering around the tiny college at this strangely late hour, not with a foot of snow pack on the ground, so there’s no one around to watch you angrily try to teach yourself to ice skate.

Anger comes naturally to you. It’s easy, if not outright comfortable, for you to just sit and stew in the emotion. Yet still it’s all to your detriment, making you feel frazzled and out of control. Times like this call for full body distractions, and what’s better than teaching yourself something you’ve literally never done before?

Falling on your ass is the perfect distraction from your asshole best friend’s bullshit right now. It’s fucking perfect and nothing is stopping you from doing this, least of all him. After all, he’s the one who came back from winter break with a fancy new hair cut and now allll the girls are like “uwu Joonie you look so nice without the perm.” While he’s getting all that attention there’s nothing to stop you from sneaking away, because why on earth would he pay attention to you, his fucking best friend, when he could be paying attention to girls far cuter than you even if they’d thought he was gross when he had the perm? God he’s so fucking stupid.

It doesn’t bother you at all. You don’t really see the difference anyway. He’s still a total freak even without the perm so you don’t really get the hype. It’ll take five minutes for the fawning to cease because in that time he’ll open his big dumb mouth and anyone with two brain cells to rub together will see how much of a dweeb he still is. Even so, the people continue to come in flocks and crowd you out. There’s alway someone new who wants to look at the newly pretty boy.

Fuck ... being ignored like that (to your face!!) fucking hurts. Anger is always preferable to the sting of being ignored. The anger means that you’re at least trying to be productive, even as you hide yourself away from the world. The cold is as good a shield as any.

You sit on the rickety edge of the rink and kick off your boots. Carefully, you pull on each skate and lace them up tight, making sure that your ankles have no room to roll. You find yourself swearing angrily as your gloved hands struggle with the laces, but your anger bolsters your persistence. Nothing can take you down from this high, not even the threat of absolutely biffing it like you know you’re going to.

It takes a moment to talk yourself into standing once you’ve set the blades to the ice. “Just stand to start” is what you tell yourself. After a few moments, and a flash or two of dimples in your mind’s eye, you get yourself to stand.

With arms flailing, you stay upright for a good ten seconds. Your fatal flaw, however, is hubris. In your hubris you thought you could take a tentative step forward.

As it turns out, ice can smell fear and has an impact play kink.

You stare up at the sky for a moment after your first fall. Your ass hurts and will probably ache like a bitch tomorrow, but honestly you’re kind of a masochist; you’re not not into this. Why else would you be in this situation, so angry with your annoyingly cute freak of a best friend that you can hardly function? You knew he was handsome underneath the questionable aesthetic choices, and you knew he was dumb enough that he’d start ignoring you to talk to people he was more romantically interested in as soon as he fixed his appearance. You always knew this would happen, and yet you invested time in him anyway. You always rate last; experiencing this pain was only a matter of time.

And yet, the seconds tick by. You steel yourself and carefully stand, avoiding a second slip, but only just. You narrow your eyes at your goal: the rink wall opposite of where you started. You’re going to fucking do this, falls be damned. It’s like ten yards. You can totally do this. You’re going to make this stupid ice your bitch.

Eight seconds later, you’re on your ass again. But hey, you made it a few feet forward. Progress is still progress in spite of accrued costs.

And so you stand again. You try doing that pushing thing with the blade of the skate, but something in your body doesn’t expect to move, so you wobble unsteadily for a moment. A breath, and then another push, more gently this time. Ah, you’re doing it! Yet another push and—

Well ... At least the stars make good company. Your elbow hurts this time; you must’ve whacked it in the fall. Feels like it’ll bruise but that’s just the cost of doing business with this rink and your own stupidity. You carefully scramble up, and try again.

When you finally make it to the other side of the rink, you’re so excited that you trip into the little wall. At least you can catch yourself with your hands this way. And hey, moving to a sitting position isn’t so hard! The cold soothes your achey butt as you let yourself relax for a moment.

Maybe this was a stupid idea. You can feel the high of white hot rage beginning to cool. You’re not sure if it’s the pain or the exertion. Maybe it’s time to pack up and return the skates. It’s getting late after all, you probably need to at least try to sleep.

You’re so mired in your thoughts that you almost miss the backlit figure appear, exiting the student union. Whoever it is is wearing a big puffy coat, and they have something odd looking in their hands. After a moment you realize, heat crawling up your neck, that the item in their hands is a pair of skates, and they’re walking across the quad to the rink.

You stand quickly, albeit unsteadily, as if to show that the rink is occupied, but alas, they seem undeterred. Shit. The only thing that could make this worse is if you were to suddenly loose your balance.

Lo and behold, fate has a sense of humor, and you do just that before you can think to do anything else.

You grimace as you sit up. You weren’t expecting an audience for this. As the figure approaches, you see that it’s one of the guys who works the student union’s cafe some evenings. He’s always seemed nice enough and ugh, he’s cute too. He’s got these broad shoulders that your friends love to stare at while they wait for their drinks to be made. Definitely not the audience you’d prefer if you must have one. As you scramble back upright, he sits at the edge of the rink and starts to unlace his boots.

“Hello,” he says quietly, glancing up as he pulls on a skate. His voice is low, with a rich timbre you didn’t expect. He sounds like he might be a tenor. You hate tenors. You hate musicians. Namjoon’s a musician too, the bastard.

“Hi,” you reply flatly, trying not to grit your teeth in frustration. You don’t even look at him when he looks at you; you don’t need his approval, and looking at him will just make you shy. You don’t have time for that shit, damn it. With care, you try to push forward again, before stopping, arms flailing. You only just manage to preserve your balance and straighten up so you can try again.

The intruder watches you warily as he starts to pull on his rented skates. You can feel the press of his curiosity on the back of your neck and you don’t know how to politely ask for him to simply not.

You’re pretty sure you see him flinch when your skates suddenly, but inevitably, slip out from beneath you, leaving you sprawled out on your ass, the ice beneath cold yet soothing for your bruised buttocks. And yet, he says nothing as he pushes off from the side of the rink, gracefully no less. He says nothing as you pull yourself up again, only to fall again as well, just as you were finding your balance. You take a deep breath, fog slowly coming from your lips as you let it out. Once you’re to your feet again, and without falling this time, you can’t help but let yourself smile, just a little, just to yourself.

Giving up whomst? You could never.

For a moment, you just stand on the ice, breathing and letting yourself feel the skates wrapped around your feet and ankles. Just a small push now. Can’t let this rando see you sweat now, can you?

The stranger watches, his handsome face blank but for curious eyes, as you make it a whole fifteen seconds before slipping and falling again, this time onto a knee and your hands. Out of the corner of your eye, you watch him grimace as you look at your hands and dust them of with a huffed little “fuck.”

He’s literally skating circles around you. It’s fucking obnoxious, but damn it, you want to be able to skate like that too. So you stand up again, and vicious cycle begins anew.

“You okay?” the stranger suddenly asks. It startles you, the wobble almost sending you to the ice with a crack yet again.

“I’m fine.” Your tone is clipped with frustration. You sure as shit don’t sound fine.

He drifts across your field of vision, going fucking backwards on his skates. It’s like it’s nothing! Fucking show off. What a fucking d—

Alright. That fall kind of hurt for real. Your poor elbows. They might be having a worse time than your knees. Did you just knock the wind out of yourself with that one?

His words come from a little closer this time. “Are you sure you’re—“

“—I’m fucking fine.”

You didn’t mean to snap. You really didn’t. Everything was fine until this dude just joined you out here out of the blue with his stupid face and his stupid talent and—

“You’re really scrappy, you know that right?”

You glare at him as you push yourself back to your feet. His plush mouth splits into a heart-rending smile. Fuck, he’s cute. Bitch, do not do this to yourself.

He keeps talking as you struggle aright. “I mean it. I’ve never watched someone keep falling like that just to get up and try again.”

You’re not even sure what to say to that. You’re glad you’ve got the built in focus of trying to do something out of your comfort zone and skill set, so an immediate reply isn’t expected. But you do have to say something in reply eventually. The comment was just ... kind of unexpected. And honestly, you think he meant it well, and it’s hard not to let the pride push a smile to your face. You fight it, of course, because you’re supposed to be angry, not pleased.

“I’m too stubborn for my own good,” you finally grit out. “But thank you.” Ah, that was good. Keep that shit up, and maybe he won’t think you’re a total freak by the time one or the other of you leaves.

“There are worse things to be.” His smile is warm enough to melt the ice beneath the blades of your skates. Cold? What cold? You feel nothing but blistering heat creeping up your neck. You’re not used to this kind of attention from anyone, if you’re being honest, let alone cute barista boys in puffy coats. “Tenacity isn’t a bad thing.”

“The bruises on my ass say otherwise.”

When he laughs, it’s low in his chest, velvety like the milk he steams for the cute folks that come to him for lattes and London fogs. You’d be swept away by his charms completely as well if you weren’t too busy being swept off your feet by your own stupidity.

You hardly feel the thump when you hit the hard surface of the ice this time. You’re not sure if it’s because you’re cold or if it’s just you’re used to falling now. The numbness of either is the same after a certain point; that’s the point of numbness, after all.

For a moment, you stare at the sky. It gives you a moment to catch your breath. Watching the stars twinkle and flicker as if they’re laughing at something reminds you that, right, you’re not alone out here on the ice. You hope the stars aren’t laughing at your shitty attempts to flirt with this stranger.

When you pull yourself up to sit, you see that the cute stranger is carefully skating backwards, his head turned and tilted so he can see where he’s going. Good lord, he’s handsome, even like this. In the grimy street lamp light, you can see that his face has been kissed by the cold, but it doesn’t do much to make him look less attractive. The focus on his face makes it almost look suggestive as he bites down on his plush lip. For a moment, you allow yourself to watch, thankful that he’s not looking at you.

When he glances at you, still sitting on the ice with your legs spread haphazardly, your eyes meet his. He smiles at you. Suddenly, the air leaves your lungs as if you’ve fallen again, the wind knocked from them like you’ve taken a blow. And then as soon as it happens, it stops, for one moment he was smiling at you, and the next he was sprawled on the ice with a thud and the smallest, cutest “fuck” you’ve ever heard in your life.

The look of surprise on his face is so aghast that you can’t help but laugh.

“I’m so—“ wheeze “—s-sorry, I shouldn’t—“ fuck, that’s hilarious “—laugh b-but the look on your f-face!”

The shock fades, only to be replaced by a pout that cracks at the edges as he tries not to laugh with you.

You start to push yourself forward him, half crawling, half crab-walking. Soon the pout breaks into a smile as you sit beside him and poke his cheek with a gloved finger. Where on earth did that fucking come from?? You’re poking strangers now??

“How does it feel to be a mere mortal?” you ask. Maybe the question will distract from the ... random face poking? Maybe the cold really is getting to you.

“Never said I was good at skating,” he says, still smiling at you. “Though I can’t say I feel like getting up and trying again after that.”

You scoff. “You’re giving up too easily. What’s the opposite of tenacious?”

“Cold.”

“That’s fair. I’m not even sure if I can feel my ass at this point.”

He laughs, and the deep sound seems to rumble in his chest, just like it had when you’d first heard it. But then he does the unexpected, and holds out a hand to you. “I’m Seokjin, by the way.”

You shake his hand and introduce yourself in kind. “You work at the cafe right?”

“Yeah. It gets hot back there, I like doing something in the cold after a shift if I can.”

You nod. “I get it. I’m out here because a friend pissed me off and I needed to work through it.”

“Can’t kick their ass so you’re letting the ice kick your ass instead?”

Not even the heat of embarrassment can heat up your cold cheeks at this point. He’s read you like a book. You’re poking strangers, and he’s reading you like he probably reads his homework.

“Alright, it’s getting really fucking cold out here,” Seokjin suddenly says. He pulls himself towards the nearest sideboard and sits on top of it. “I’m calling it a night.”

You don’t expect his expectant look. “What?”

“You’ve been out here longer than me. Can you even feel your fingers at this point?”

“Um.” There’s some small part of you that doesn’t want this to end, but lying about it feels futile when you know he’s going to see right through it. “No.”

“I think it might be a good idea for you to head in too ...” he says, and then: “I could sneak back into the cafe for some hot water. Want to have some tea to warm up? Maybe you could talk about this friend who pissed you off.”

It’s late, if you’re being honest. You should probably go home and lick your wounds. But as you pull yourself up onto the sideboard with Seokjin, you decide that staying out might be worth it. Staying out in the first place is what got you on the ice. Staying out kept you here, which in turn meant you got to meet Seokjin. Staying out meant you got to talk and have this moment. It’s a relief to just be able to talk, rather than fight for someone’s attention.

What’s another few minutes?

“Sure, I’d like that.”

Thank you for reading! Drop me an ask and tell me what you think. Find me in various places at my carrd :)

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posted: 12.6.2022

#bts fic #bts fanfic #kim seokjin fic #ksj x reader #ksj x female reader #seokjin fanfic #seokjin x reader #seokjin fanfiction #seokjin x f reader #seokjin x female reader

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