#Long Beach Post

[yankeeblue]

[thehmn]

I wanted to make this post because we don’t see a lot of asexual characters in western media and despite him being from a hugely popular show (Seaside Hotel) you’re unlikely to know of his existence if you’re not from Denmark.

His name is Hjalmar Aurland and he’s one of the more sympathetic and realistic asexual characters I’ve seen. He lives in a time and place where asexuality as a concept doesn’t exist yet so he’s never labeled as such but rewatching the show made me realize that he acts exactly like the asexual people I personally know. Asexuality can mean a lot of things but his specific brand isn’t naive to sex nor is he repulsed by sex, sexual desire or thoughts simply doesn’t come naturally to him.

He can be convinced to have sex with his wife Helene but only if she appeals to their emotional bond. Just so you don’t get the wrong idea, he’s not being forced or emotionally blackmailed to sleep with her. It’s simply that he understands sex is a way to show emotional love too and he wants to express that love for Helene when it’s important to her, and seeing as sex isn’t unpleasant to him, just kinda boring, he’s willing to do that for her.

Unfortunately that isn’t enough for Helene and despite her love for Hjalmar she starts an affair with the dramatic and emotional actor Edward Weyse. He has a string of relationships, marriages and divorces behind him because despite what it may look like from the outside Edward doesn’t really want shallow sexual relationships. He just can’t help himself and keep falling in love with women left and right, fully and wholeheartedly, only to be dumped or dump them once the initial excitement has passed.

So Helene and Edward’s affair that was only meant to satisfy their carnal desires quickly becomes romantic. Helene feels torn between him and Hjalmar who she still loves and Edward understands the difficult situation they’re both in while also feeling jealous of Hjalmar. And Hjalmar? He doesn’t catch on for years. He’s not stupid but his brain just doesn’t jump to sex. He just assumes they’re good friends and why shouldn’t his wife be allowed to have friends, even male ones? Things get really complicated when Helene gets pregnant and she has to have sex with Hjalmar so he won’t wonder how it happened. Edward even has to join in on the seduction, reminding Hjalmar how much Helene loves him, even though it breaks Edward’s heart to do so.

But like I’ve said Hjalmar isn’t stupid. He saw the signs but chose to ignore them until one night when Helene accidentally says Edward’s name. It breaks the dam in Hjalmar’s denial and he has to face that deep down he always knew. Overcome by sadness and betrayal he wanders off into the night in nothing but his nightgown and gets a room at a different hotel where he can think in peace. Eventually he agrees to return to the first hotel with Helene and Edward and decides to take control of the situation.

He sits them both down and tells them that he understands that the three of them share a bond and that there are things he can’t really do for Helene so from now on he wants their relationship to be open and honest. He wants Helene and Edward to keep seeing each other and Edward is welcome in their house, but Hjalmar wants to be allowed to call Edward by his first name and makes it very clear that Helene and Edward’s children “belong to him” because he still thinks of himself as their dad and loves them as his own children. Both Helene and Edward agrees to it, though the emotional Edward is very flustered and confused by the acceptance and love he’s being shown by Hjalmar.

This is obviously a very tv drama situation but I was so stuck by how much Hjalmar acts like my asexual friends. Having a lover for your partner isn’t the most common solution but it’s an idea I’ve heard a lot of asexual people be open to under the right circumstances and of course that’s the most dramatic solution for a romantic tv drama.

Hjalmar is defined by so much more than his sexuality though. His main characteristic is his passion for social justice and equality, and other than some early show weirdness before they really cemented the characters, Hjamler is the only character who floats freely between the men and women. He’s just as likely to sit with the men as he is the women, often appearing in otherwise entirely female spaces. It’s never questioned or even brought up, not because he’s a “safe asexual” but because he cares and think their worries are as important as the men’s. He’s often called a pessimist by the other men when in reality he is determined to be hopeful and compassionate and spread the love he feels the world is lacking as WWII draws closer.

So yeah, I just wanted to share this sweet ace guy with you because you probably wouldn’t have known about him otherwise.

[luvbug724]

here’s the thing about thea calling it jeans “old tricks.” we’re given more than ample clues to fill in the blanks. jean refused to let anyone else in the nest know he was raped. he and kevin painstakingly covered up after riko because they were too proud to let anyone in on the abuse they faced. thea has no reason to suspect assault— ive said it before, but there’s no crime unless jean speaks up.

i see the claim that jeremy knew it was statutory rape so thea should have, but jeremy is in california, from california, born & raised. the age of consent is 18, as opposed to 16 in west virginia. jeremy is operating under a different legal framework. but look at the scene as a whole: it’s not important that jeremy believes it was statutory rape, because that accusation leads to jeans revelation that he never consented. it may not have been statutory under west virginia law, but it was rape. thea and jean have never had that conversation, and if jean has it his way they never will.

thea looks at jean and she has no reason to see a victim, but every reason to see a teenager she cares about making bad decisions that hurt him. jean himself tells her they were just mistakes. that’s how her “old tricks” sentence comes across. she’s tired. it sets her apart from the rest of the ravens— that’s far more compassion than any of the current line up gave him.

[oyiiixenia]

put those DVDs away, Shrike. they're blinding everyone!

[soveryanon]

What about eating your own beanie, Mr Clown.

EAT YOUR OWN BEANIE

[lilislegacy]

to anyone who still isn’t on board with percy jackson as marine veterinarian, i ask you to consider something

percy wearing scrubs

[xxenbypunkxx]

are you worried about being perceived as a poser in your local punk scene? My biggest tip is to not shove yourself into the little box of what you think a punk should be. The culture of punk should be diverse, that’s what makes it beautiful. You want to go to a show wearing all pink and cute dresses? fucking go for it!!! rock it! if anyone says anything to you about “not being punk enough” they are full of bullshit and are definitely projecting their insecurities onto you.

[the-future-memories]

Golden Hour 💛✨

[seethesunny]

Joel and Tess were not a couple in the game

I'm sorry anon what lmao

So you come to my house, tessjoel Central, disguised as a stranger, and you tell me this. Why come to the tessjoel headquarters blog and even bother?????

I normally wouldn't even entertain asks like this but I must carry their legacy and clear the searches.

Here, from that conference in Toronto in the year 2013!!! and despite me not really vibing with Neil and his retcons, Tess and Joel's relationship isn't one of those.

It isn't a retcon because even if it wasn't planned from the get go (as we all know the tlou we got is way different from the original idea), it's something that was brought up and discussed while the game was being made and it is imbued in the subtext of the game, and sure you can argue that it makes Tess and Joel's being a "couple" semi-canon at best, but if you're trying to look at it with the lenses of how a regular couple should act and behave then you'll miss the clues and what it's being implied.

From the director's commentary released in 2022, both Troy and Neil discuss again the nature of their relationship (something that they have done before in the past, too) and you can have your own interpretation, but this is a topic that has been discussed and breached openly from people that were involved in the process of creating the game.

And lastly, the most recent interview about these two from 2023 before the show dropped, again it's not a retcon if even in the OG Tess and Joel had their own sort of romantic relationship. I think for you to truly accept it and embrace it you must remember how these characters behave and the world that shapes them, they won't go around kissing and holding hands but that doesn't make them less true.

So yep, you're entitled to make your own conclusions and have your own opinions but I'm gonna leave the facts here and go

[rwac96]

Prompt

Original Male Stud Lewd Beach AU

Jaune and Weiss have been a couple for a few years now but have been dealing with Yang who has been wanting to turn it into a threesome with her involved. The couple have resisted her... but Yang is persistent and steps up her game when they go to the beach. Can she turn White Knight into Arctic Dragonslayer/Frostburn Knight? (Depends what you call the OT3) Let us see how it goes.

(Seduce)

"Yang," Weiss huffed, as she sat on a towel, an umbrella blocking the sun from her pale skin. "Could you not?"

"C'mon," Yang arches her back, making her hefty breasts move outward for her teammate and Jaune to see. "It won't hurt for me to join you~."

Weiss and Jaune have been a couple for a few years, much to the surprise of their peers. But, they have been dealing with Yang desiring a threesome between them, which they resisted. Despite their refusal, the Buxom Brawler is persistent, evident in her wearing a yellow bikini that clung to her figure. The former heiress huffed, wearing a pair of sunglasses as she kept her eyes on her book. Meanwhile, Jaune kept his eyes on his girlfriend's thighs, ignoring Yang's flirtatious demeanor.

"So, Weisscream," she said to her friend and teammate, "you need some help with Sunscreen~?" She shakes a bottle of SPF 50 in her left hand.

"Jaune already did that," the fencer of Team RWBY said, "right now, I want some peace and quiet."

"Jaune-O," the busty blonde turns her lilac eyes to Jaune. "Wanna--?"

"Nope," he responds, putting on his own pair of sunglasses.

[corellianhounds]

Some headcanons for Mando:

Anything he uses to shower or wash his clothes with is unscented. Those scent-neutralizer dryer sheets keep his clothes from smelling like anything that can be detected while he’s on a hunt. Very few species are exempt from being unable to detect him

He keeps a clean ship and a consistent schedule. He’s been self-sufficient and on his own for long enough he knows how to cook and take care of himself. Keeping your tools, gear, weapons, armor, and ship in clean, efficient working order means you’re less likely to have to spend time fixing one of them when it breaks from your lack of routine maintenance, and his body is just another tool in his arsenal; sleep, food, necessary medical care, staying limber and getting vitamin D at some point all go a long way towards ensuring he can last longer in the field. You can’t run something ragged every day and expect for that to be sustainable.

That also means he’s well-equipped to handle long stints without different necessities when needed from time to time; you can push yourself pretty far when you’re already in prime condition.

Wilderness survival skills were some of the first things he learned while being brought up by the Mandalorians. Being aware of your surroundings, setting up and breaking down camp, foraging and hunting for food, building impromptu shelters, purifying water, navigating and tracking, having a variety of general and specific medical knowledge— All of those skills are building blocks for self-sufficiency. You never know when you’re going to be alone or thrust into survival scenarios, so it pays to be prepared.

That also means he’s capable of stomaching a wide variety of what some might consider inedible. Beggars can’t be choosers, and it’s rude to decline someone’s offer of food or hospitality so in any scenario where food is in short supply and/or it’s been offered to him, he’s taking it. As long as it’s something he knows humans can digest, he’s open to whatever cultural or regional dishes his travels have to offer, and he’ll muscle through the less pleasant tastes or textures of food he’s had to make do with when he didn’t have other options.

He does know how to make food taste good, but that more often than not requires more spices and ingredients and hardware than he can afford or spare the room for, so he makes do without. Once the kid comes along he branches out a bit more to make sure he gets some variety.

Along the lines of self-sufficiency and independence, he has a lot of general repair skills: you may not always have somebody who can fix things for you, and he obviously isn’t going to pay somebody else to do something he’s capable of learning, except for when he’s short on time or resources. We see him working on the interior circuitry of his armor in the second episode. He knows how to bypass and pick locks. He has the electrical, mechanical, and structural know-how to fix his ship and would know how to weld and use a torch cutter and a variety of other tools, but it also means he’d know how to sew and mend his clothes. Soft goods are just as necessary as hardware.

Injuries where he genuinely needs professional medical care are few and far in between partially because he’s very good at what he does, and partially out of necessity. Though it is by choice, him tending to his own wounds may not necessarily be because he is neglectful or prideful or has a penchant for pain; medcenters cost money, and submitting to that care means he is vulnerable and at risk of somebody breaking his creed by force, or doing more damage when he can’t fight back. It’s why he likely refuses anesthesia or anything that will put him under and make him unaware of what’s happening while he’s asleep. Either he will find somebody he’s close to to help him, or he will find a way to muscle through self-administered medical care yet again, or he will die from his injuries (which means he will have gone down because of a fight)

Though he has a few physical reference materials and logs he’s written down important details in, a vast majority of his knowledge concerning trade routes, ballistics, geography, maps, various customs and cultures and languages, exchange rates for currency, Guild bylaws— anything he could possibly need to know for a hunt— is committed to memory. He travels light, and the Mandalorians have an oral history more than a written one; belongings and archives can be destroyed, but their people live on and carry the knowledge that’s been passed down through centuries. It just makes more sense to him to commit everything to memory.

That being said, he does a significant amount of research before each hunt anyway, though the bulk of it is centered around the target themselves. Having all of your prep work done means the acquisition itself will go smoother.

He’s mathematically sharp: engine repair, manual piloting, vector calculus, electrical work, ballistics, basic engineering, weapons maintenance, financial management, and navigation by maps or by stars take a lot of mental acuity to understand and apply as quickly as he usually has to use them.

He’s not going to back down from others who purposefully encroach on his personal space, but he dislikes being in close proximity to strangers for extended periods of time. So much of his life is spent evading threats and fighting off challengers it’s hard to trust anybody to be that close. It’s not an aversion so much as it is an irritation that makes him tense. When you’re always looking over your shoulder, it’s just reflex to act defensively.

He doesn’t drink alcohol or caf unless he has sufficient time and he’s secure in the Crest without worry of attack; both impede his marksmanship and reflexes, neither of which are things he can afford while he’s working, so it’s usually only when he’s traveling through space that he’ll indulge

He doesn’t sing, but once the kid comes along he’s found that it’s easier to get him to sleep when he hums as he holds him and walks around the cargo hold.

[tinyfantasminha]

Lost in the book

[zooblesbutchpuppygirl]

Plastiscene beach date!!! (Wafflez is Very excited to collect shells and bring them back to show Zooble :3)

Proshippers/adjacent dni. 100000 shark attack 🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈 also Zooble self ship doubles dni

[ren-054]

Beach episode ☀️🧴

featuring @ladymilkyway, our friend Nova, and Volks >:3

[wonderholegifs]

Rhett & Link's Wonderhole

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

context, if such a thing even exists

stede: i think we should ask the crew to provide their own linens when they visit

ed: aw, what? what kind of shitass inn doesn’t even do linens for their guests?

stede: we can still do linens for regular guests, i just think-

ed: oh, cmon, we can’t give the crew worse service, they already hate me

stede: they do not hate you-

ed: well they might if we skimp on the linens!

stede: ed-

ed: i’ve gotten really good at washing linens, actually. i don’t know if you’ve noticed that. see how little jizz is on our sheets?

stede: …i mean, there is that rather large—

ed: ok that’s from literally a twenty minutes ago that doesn’t count, you know that doesn’t count

stede: alright, alright

ed: we literally haven’t even gotten out of bed yet

stede: fair enough

ed: if i wasn’t good at doing laundry this sheet would be just one big jizz stain and you know it

stede: this is true, you’re right. you’ve done an excellent job, sweetheart

ed: aww thanks babe :)

stede: im just a bit worried about the foursome

ed: (experiencing a sudden coughing fit) the what?

stede: the foursome? jim, olu, archie, and zheng?

ed: oh. oh. (clears throat) i thought you—nevermind. um.

ed: uhh what about them? you think i can’t handle their post-orgy cleanup?

stede: well…

ed: wait, seriously? it’s just two extra people, mate, it’s not that much more mess

stede: it’s not the quantity i’m concerned with, it’s the. well.

ed: …well?

stede: well. the thing is, archie always refers to sex with her partners as “goop sex”

ed:

ed: goop sex

stede: yes, goop sex

ed: are you sure she doesn’t call it “group sex” and you’re just mishearing her?

stede: no, it’s definitely goop sex

ed: hm

stede: admittedly i’m not completely sure what goop sex actually is—unless you happen to be familiar…?

ed: yeah no i’ve never heard of goop sex

stede: darn. well, in any case, i imagine there’s a very strong possibility that goop sex stains fabrics!

ed: hm, yeah, probably

stede: so you see my concern

ed: i do, yeah

stede: with the linens

ed: mhmm

stede: especially since we only have the one set!

ed: mhmm

stede: which we should probably do something about, actually, if we want to provide free linen service to our guests. although maybe we can wait until after the crew visits so we have an excuse for not doing their linens? what do you think?

ed: mmm

stede:

stede: ed, darling

ed: hhwhat sorry huh

stede: you zoned out for a moment there

ed: oh shit, my bad, babe

stede: no worries! i was just wondering where you’d gone to

ed: right, well, i’d gone to goop sex

stede: yknow i probably could’ve guessed that myself actually

ed: specifically i was thinking that we should try and figure out what goop sex is

stede: i

stede: hm.

stede:

stede:

stede: okay, but—

ed: oh cmon don’t give me that

stede: ed, th-

ed: i saw your face just now! i bet you already have some ideas!

stede: ok but ed we really only have the one set of linens!

ed: and you’re telling me you’re not willing to risk those linens to try out some of your guesses about goop sex?

stede: y—i’m—well. I-I mean,

ed: yeahhhh that’s what i thought, you fuckin pervert

stede: alright well i better not hear any complaining when our only set of sheets is reduced to one big goop stain!

ed: that is a price i will gladly pay to let you try out your goopy sex theories on me