#Looketh at her!!

[nerdygaymormon]

I liked your post with all the scriptures showing that we are to love trans people. What are your thoughts about the changes made to the church handbook?

The LDS Church used to ban gay students from attending BYU. The church used to put a permanent notation on gay member's records and forbid them from having callings that work with children or youth. The church used to promote conversion therapy even when every major medical and mental health organization denounced such practices. The church forbade the children of gay couples from getting baptized.

Eventually the church reversed all these positions.

I used to speak up behind closed doors for queer youth to get to participate, it's been many years since my local leaders tried to do something like forbid a lesbian from attending girls camp or want her to be isolated at night in a cabin separated from the rest of the young women.

It is sad to me to see these same mistakes being implemented against trans/nb/genderfluid/gender nonconforming/intersex members.

Gay people were not predators, we were not the danger they imagined us to be. The same is true for those whose gender doesn't conform to the imagined binary.

How does preventing an 8-year-old child from getting baptized fit with Jesus' admonition to "suffer the little children and forbid them not to come unto me"?

How does limiting someone from gender-specific classes and callings fit with the apostle Paul's teaching that in Christ we are one, that "there is neither male nor female"?

Why is forbidding a trans youth from spending the night at FSY acceptable? It will be so stigmatizing.

We're really going to police the restrooms? Even me, an openly gay man, I am allowed to use the facilities with men even though I might be attracted to some of them.

This ban on "social transitioning" (meaning name/pronouns/grooming/clothing) continues the false notion that appearance equals worthiness and is in direct contradiction to God telling the prophet Samuel that "the Lord looketh on the heart." Social norms are not eternal norms and shouldn't determine whether an individual can receive gospel ordinances.

The top LDS leaders prefer the term "same sex attraction" instead of gay, lesbian and bisexual, and I think a similar thing is now happening as the Handbook language has shifted from "transgender individuals" to "individuals who identify as transgender" and "individuals who transition away from their biological sex."

None of these policies are required by doctrine, evidence for this is these restrictions didn't exist 5 years ago or even last week.

It's depressing the church doesn't remember the lessons from its treatment of gay people as it replicates similar policies.

It was already hard to be a gender diverse member of the LDS Church, and it just got more difficult. Everyone should have access to a spiritual home and church community if they want it.

While I can't control what the LDS Church does, I want you to know I embrace and support you. I wish I could sit on the pew with all of you and I wish I had a table large enough to break bread with all of you.

[thecomfywriter]

Poem Writing Challenge

oop, i didn't even notice that @an-indecisive-nerd tagged me to do it too. okay! poem challenge that i accidentally created LMAO

does it have to be haiku? i'll do multiple types lol because i lowkey already have one for evan/yozar lol

(@sm-writes-chaos here is some mythology lore for you, but it's not the best of my selection. i promise, i have better)

✧༺♥༻∞

Yozar's Famous Ballad:

He whose body is as radiant as gold,

And face as blooming as midnight's silver.

He whose eyes carry summer's wrath,

And heart as guarded as frosted winter.

He whose brow is as sharp as steel--

Straight, angular-- prisitine as arrow's head.

And he whose lips are curved as bow's shaft,

And hair more fierce than the bloodiest of reds.

To Him, the world bows and bellows,

Dances for, prays to, weeps;

Ornate offerings and bejewelled artistry,

All in desire for His attention they seek.

Tributes and battles,

Honours and glories,

Songs and ballads,

Legends and stories.

He who commands the world with love,

Admiration, wrath, and fury,

Which ballad should a daughter sing,

To hear him once say sorry?

The man of myth, of legend, of rage,

The man with the golden heart.

The God of life and carrier of death--

His anger is bitter and tarte.

The priests all weep,

They wail,

They pray--

Yozar, just once, say her name.

They beg in sorrow, for the loss of life,

Yozar, this curse end naught with her spite.

Yozar, our heavenly divine, elegant beast,

We claim naught any disloyalty,

Nor claim you for any wrongs,

But Yozar-- you are a father to more than one.

The priests all weep every night he leaves,

Yozar, please, oh please-- stay with me.

But a daughter weeps around the clock,

For his love for her is less than naught.

With which tragedies shall I sing my song?

So my tale of misery can be sung by all?

What notes would make him look my way,

And, for once, call his daughter by her name?

Father please, father please, father please,

Your daughter pleads, she pleads, do you hear me plead?

Accept me, oh please, that's all I need,

Accept me, I scream, accept me, accept me.

- Curse of Yozar's famous ballad (the name of the ballad is a spoiler but yes here she is)

✧༺♥༻∞

AND NOW FOR A UNIQUE ONE for evan. let's try a haiku style:

Evan Haiku Style Poem:

With mortals walks a god--

Beauty defined, golden eyes.

Can't hide his sorrow.

✧༺♥༻∞

lol i tried.

More traditional format that i'm used to?

Evan Regular Degular Poem:

Looketh here, at the man of the gods,

From every footstep, the heavens applaud,

And every sunrise calls his name,

Yet why does the divine man cast his eyes in shame?

Where does he look when he looks within?

What shadows does he lock behind the doors of sin?

Who is he when he is not beauty defined?

What secrets does he hide in those golden eyes?

✧༺♥༻∞

ALRIGHTY! tagging the TCW crew because that was fun!

Happy Writing! :)

✧༺♥༻∞

BLOG LINKS:

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PREORDER THRONE OF VENGEANCE

Join the TCW Tag Crew!

TCW Writing Bar Discord -> i may be whoops on tumblr but i am less whoops on discord, so come hither!

✧༺♥༻∞

TCW Crew:

@lunaeuphternal @the-golden-comet @renasdoodles

@drchenquill @zackprincebooks @wyked-ao3

@toragay-writing @the-letterbox-archives

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@authorcoledipalo @sm-writes-chaos @illarian-rambling

@pexchys @an-indecisive-nerd @thelovelymachinery

[god-offical]

Hey God

Can I like

Get a slice of pizza?

and said the lord:

"Thou must looketh to thine right"

and so Cactus-with-boobs did as the lord commanded, and upon her table sat a slice of the fair pizza she had requested

[svgvru]

꒰ ✮ 𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗞𝗧𝗢𝗕𝗘𝗥 '𝟮𝟯 — 𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗞 𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗘!

𝗗𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗔𝗖𝗧! blasphemy + "a clit piercing? that isn't very holy of you, dear" , "show me how He has blessed you" ꒰ roland fortis x f!reader ꒱: fucking in a church, corruption kink, slight dumbification, some manipulation, virgin/innocent!reader, anal fingering, anal penatration, "glory hole" situation, age gap, just smut. let's pretend your ass is already clean, y'know. keep up good hygiene :D

"𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐔𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐘, 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐔𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘, 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐘," the words leaving the priest's mouth were somewhat fascinating to you. "romans 13: 13" roland fortis, a well known and well trusted man. he was set in his convictions and proved to practice what he taught. at least, mostly. never did he smoke, never did he drink, and never did he consume "filthy nourishment." the man wasn't even married, even if that was considered a bit weird to some folk. it was believed he had no secrets, except he had two. being a chassuer—vampire hunter—and you. if perhaps his vampire hunter secret became known, it would he no matter. however, if you became known, the matter would be big.

despite his teaching, he sermons about secret sin and temptation, he betrayed it all. “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart,” Matthew 5:27–28. it was a verse often brought up, and he had never broken his own values, never gone against any of his sermons.

however, as little ms church girl—you, walked in, that had changed. every feature he could see and imagine he'd secretly lust after. it was unlike him, so be so...uncouth. it didnt help that you were so—innocent.

hearing your sweet voice in a time of confession. you were so timid, stumbling over words as you decided to finally express your sinful thoughts. "forgive me father, but i have been having some . . . sinful thoughts about another," you mumble, "and they won't stop . . . " he smiles to himself, humming at your confession. "have you felt the temptation to act upon your thoughts, mademoiselle?" he knew it was true. no matter how much you's scold yourself, look away, or try to think about other things, those thoughts in your head would not stray from him. even that time that you refrained from going to church—just to escape your temptation.

falling for the priest was your sin. falling for an innocent girl was his. although, could you be entirely innocent. "really? could you tell be about those thoughts?" his voice as smooth and comforting as ever. after all, you are coming to speak on your sinful thoughts. "i—" the second you told him your thoughts, you had a feeling you were doomed, but not in the way you originally thought.

you would never imagine that such a promising and trustworthy clergymen would fall for you. a girl woman fresh from finishing school, stuck in church with her family. you were sure he was at least nearing his 30s if not already in his 30s. he had shown no sign of faltering in his faith, until you. you wondered what was going through his mind when he called your name so . . . huskily. you wondered why he pulled you against his robes, in the small confessional booth where the priest was to seat. when his lips touched your jaw you were skeptical, but this man, he—was the one you desired.

"a-apologizes, father. but, is this—are we supposed to do this." you whimper out the words, hands clutching onto the fabric of his cassock. "fear not, this is simply how you get rid of such thoughts," he whispers against the skin of your neck. "have you ever had a song stuck in your head? you longed to listen to it, and when you did you found relief from that longing?"

you nod, releasing a shaky breath. "y-yes." you feel his lips curl into smile against your skin. "its just like that, you simply need to engage in it—just a little . . . " he whispers in a voice that makes you swoon. "trust me, you do, don't you?" he lifts his head up to lock eyes with you. you nod your head, looking into his soft eyes, although you can see a hint of something else.

you never would've known how the devil would stick to "innocent" souls had to not kissed the priest with such ferocity. how your lips connected and your inexperienced tongue melted into his mouth. you never would've known how full of sin a clergymen could be had you not let him convince you to slide into the window connecting the confession booths. it was quite large, you observe, not having seen a window this large. but your curious thoughts, come to an end at the feeling of his hands lifting your dress. his rough and calloused hands touch your bare skin with somewhat of a snort. you were embarrassed.

it wasn't an uncommon experience where women—or men—would often go bare under their clothing. it was freeing! who wouldn't? today just happened to be the day you finally felt comfortable letting your lower half free, it wasn't as if there a chance of someone seeing. after all, your dress was about ankle length. "f-father! is this really appropriate? i'm—!" a 'shhh' sound leaves his lips. "my name, dearest. roland," you could practically hear the smile in his voice. it was quite a new and somewhat confusiong experience. although, you couldn't deny—his new nickname for you was exciting. "its quite alright, i told you. trust me."

"m-mhm!" you respond to him in only a sound, yelping at the touch of his finger to your bare skin. you hear a chuckle leave his lips. your eyes widen as you realize exactly what he's laughing at, your intimates were quite open to see—including the lovely piercing you have. "𝘢 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘵 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘨? 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳!" his voice is quite loud; however, the possibility of others hearing was quite low. after all, you had decided to visit him after church out of shame. his voice dips low, sending a shiver up your spine. "and here i thought you were innocent . . . "

his hands spread your ass, watching your twitching holes. "are you perhaps . . . getting a bit hot from my watchful eye? or is it my words . . .?" his index finger traces your pussy, dipling slightly between your folds. "i'm—i'm not sure . . ." you mumble. "but fa— roland. i'm supposed to save myself for a husband."

a hum leaves his lips. "mm, i suppose you are! but there's this thing," he starts, earning your attention. "there's another way to get satisfaction without losing your virginity." surprise covers you, finishing school had never taught you about any of that. "h-how?" you question, never knowing there was a way to avoid that. "by this, dearest . . ." he ever so slowly push one of his thick fingers inside of your virgin hole, it feels wet—perhaps from saliva? but it's not the one leaking slick, but your unused ass. your hand quickly laps over your mouth to prevent a loud moan from escaping the confessional. your eyes widen, rolling back a bit at the intrusion.

"that was quite easy," he comments with a smile. he continues stroking your anal walls with his fingers, eliciting moans from other booth where you're failing in your attempt to keep yourself quiet. you feel his other hand slide down your thigh, dipping between your legs to lightly touch your pulsing clit. "r-roland . . . " he hums in response to your call. "yes, dear?" his voice his far too sweet and loving for his action of flicking your piercing. the muffled scream from your lips fill his ears along with the clang of his nail to the peircing.

"maybe you could take another one, hm?" he slips another finger inside of you, gently stroking to loosen you. a string of shameless moans leave your lips—it seems as if you've finally given up on muffling them.

two of his fingers continue to move, their movements, becoming rough with the occasional flick to your clit. "such a good girl," you hear him coo. "let's get you to your release, yes?" he traps your clit in between his index and thumb, pinching lightly as his fingers plunge into you. a loud cry of his name leaves your lips. "shh, you must attract the attention of the cleaners," he lightly scolds, smiling at the whimper you let slip. "i believe that should be enough . . . "

his fingers leave you, eyes turned up in crescents at your poor hole twitching in anticipation.

you hear the ruffling of fabric and a sigh of relief from him. this is by far the most blasphemous thing you could do. willingly taking the priest's cock into you—as an unmarried woman, and a member of the house of god. you were sure He was looking down on you in shame, as you moaned wantonly at the feeling of his wet tip pressing against the rim of your ass. but could it be so devlish and against the lord? he said it, there was no such thing requiring virginity to extend to the anus, so maybe—just maybe . . . you could give in to temptation. it would take away your furture feelings, just as he said, right?

"𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶," you hear him mumble from behind you. a groan leaves his lips as he pushes into your warmth. the feeling was new—foreign. but, o god! how it felt unlike anything else! it was pleasurable, the stretch was painful, yes . . . but my—did it cause you to moan.

his cock slowly drags in and out of you, lewd sounds of skin slapping against yours. perhaps, your savior would shut the gates of heaven when you arrive . . . perhaps the gates of eternal damnation would await you at your passing . . . but you would gladly welcome the devil with open arms in exhange for experiencing this.

"a-AH! roland, ngh—!" your sweet moans fill his ears. your voice was enticing, it pulled him into your further. it caused him to fuck you rougher, faster, with more desire. he lied. it was clear he lied when he said a taste would prevenr further temptation. but once you get a taste, you long for the whole thing. you long to keeo tasting. that's just how humans are built. upon the foundation of greed is how other things are obtained. he never wants to leave you. imagine how your virgin cunt would feel wrapped around his cock? wet and warm you'd welcome him. he can tell simply from your moans.

you had become addicted to him, the same way he had become addicted to you.

his cock plunges in and out of you, your body rocking with his rough thrusts. his finger flicks and mercilessly pinches at your clit, your slick collecting on his fingertips. you swear you can hear the wood beneath you groan a bit. the musk of sex fills both of the confessional booths as his release in you, your climax coming along side him as you make a mess of his thighs. "mmph! a-AH! roland~!" your upper body slumps on the otherside, your lower half shakily standing as his thrusts slow.

when his cock leaves you, so does a disappointed whine. you weakly call out his name again, wiggling your bottom a little. you wondered what he was thinking as he stood there panting, what his face looked like. however, if you did, you'd only see the devil. or something like it at least. a beast formed from desire.

"see, now you're satiated."

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

The Wise Woman

1 Every wise woman buildeth her house, but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. 2 He that walketh in his uprightness feareth the LORD, but he that is perverse in his ways despiseth Him. 3 The mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride, but the lips of the wise shall preserve him. 4 Where no oxen are, the crib is clean, but much increase comes by the strength of the ox. 5 A faithful witness will not lie, but a false witness will utter lies. 6 A scorner seeketh wisdom and findeth it not, but knowledge is easy unto him that understandeth. 7 Go from the presence of a foolish man when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge. 8 The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, but the folly of fools is to be deceived. 9 Fools mock at sin, but among the righteous there is favor. 10 The heart knoweth his own bitterness, and a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy.

11 The house of the wicked shall be overthrown, but the tabernacle of the upright shall flourish. 12 There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. 13 Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful, and the end of that mirth is heaviness. 14 The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways, and a good man shall be satisfied from himself. 15 The simple believeth every word, but the prudent man looketh well to his going. 16 A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil, but the fool rageth and is confident. 17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly, and a man of wicked devices is hated. 18 The simple inherit folly, but the prudent are crowned with knowledge. 19 The evil bow before the good, the wicked at the gates of the righteous. 20 The poor is hated even by his own neighbor, but the rich hath many friends.

21 He that despiseth his neighbor sinneth, but he that hath mercy on the poor, happy is he. 22 Do they not err that devise evil? But mercy and truth shall be to them that devise good. 23 In all labor there is profit, but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury. 24 The crown of the wise is their riches, but the foolishness of fools is folly. 25 A truthful witness delivereth souls, but a deceitful witness speaketh lies. 26 In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence, and His children shall have a place of refuge. 27 The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life to depart from the snares of death. 28 In a multitude of people is the honor of the king, but the lack of people is the destruction of the prince. 29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding, but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly. 30 A sound heart is the life of the flesh, but envy is the rottenness of the bones.

31 He that oppresseth the poor reproacheth his Maker, but he that honoreth Him hath mercy on the poor. 32 The wicked is driven away in his wickedness, but the righteous hath hope in his death. 33 Wisdom resteth in the heart of him that hath understanding, but that which is innermost in fools is made known. 34 Righteousness exalteth a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people. 35 The king's favor is toward a wise servant, but his wrath is against him that causeth shame. — Proverbs 14 | Third Millennium Bible (TMB) Third Millennium Bible, New Authorized Version, Copyright 1998 by Deuel Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved. Cross References: Leviticus 5:7; Ruth 4:11; 1 Samuel 2:36; 2 Samuel 19:7; Job 8:15; Job 21:25; Job 28:28; Psalm 16:11; Psalm 36:4; Psalm 41:1; Psalm 109:17; Psalm 144:14; Proverbs 1:5; Proverbs 2:15; Proverbs 10:22; Proverbs 11:30; Proverbs 12:6; Proverbs 17:4; Proverbs 19:4; Proverbs 19:23; Proverbs 23:9; Proverbs 29:11; Ecclesiastes 7:9; Isaiah 33:6; Habakkuk 3:16; Matthew 24:45; Matthew 25:40; Romans 6:21; 1 Corinthians 3:19; James 1:19; James 4:9; Revelation 1:5

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

WORDS THAT CHRISTIANS MISUSE

Study: What most Christians call "Bible study" is actually "Bible worship."

Truth: Truth is the conformity with fact or reality. Truth is dictated by supporting evidence, not mere claims. Simply claiming that something, or someone, is the "truth" is a misuse of the word.

Morality: Morality is the act of doing what causes the least amount of harm to others. Christians say that morality is dictated by God but the act of doing what one demands is the definition of submission, not morality.

Adultery: Jesus says that lust is adultery in Matthew 5:28. The word adultery means having sex with a person who is married to another. The word lust means to have sexual desires. Having the desire to do something is not the same as doing something.

Free Will: What Christians commonly call "freewill" is actually just "will." In the Bible God only gave us the ability to choose what we want to do (will), but not the freedom to act upon those choices. As it is told, we are required to do as God commands or we will be subject to an eternity of torment.

Love: Love is an intense affection for someone or something. Calling God "love" does not mean his actions automatically fit such a definition. Just as calling a pig an "airplane" does not mean it suddenly can fly. God doesn't even fit the definition of love given by Paul in 1 Cor. 13:4-8.

--

Matthew 5:28

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

If you're already guilty, might as well actually do it...

-

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

"Lord" is the exact opposite of love.

[wecanbeperfect]

TEACHING ON TEMPTATION

Matthew 5:27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

[seraphgirls]

I personally kinda hate the temple (various reasons, but really I’m just not into organized religion, we don’t gotta get into it)

But the amount of folks slut shaming you right now???? It’s fucking absurd.

At the end of the day, you’ve got a job and you make money. Money is necessary to survive. If the body is one’s own temple, then to be ashamed of it seems the greater sin.

“But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.”

It is not the fault of the woman to be looked upon, it is the fault of the beholder.

The people harassing you, if they truly believe in the temples teachings, should make a hobby of ripping out creeps eyes rather than bothering you.

exactly. thank you for being someone with common sense

funny how hateful and pathetic some supposedly pious templegoers are. the head priestess would surely be disappointed in them.

[pugzman3]

Psalms chapter 104

1 Bless the LORD, O my soul. O LORD my God, thou art very great; thou art clothed with honour and majesty.

2 Who coverest thyself with light as with a garment: who stretchest out the heavens like a curtain:

3 Who layeth the beams of his chambers in the waters: who maketh the clouds his chariot: who walketh upon the wings of the wind:

4 Who maketh his angels spirits; his ministers a flaming fire:

5 Who laid the foundations of the earth, that it should not be removed for ever.

6 Thou coveredst it with the deep as with a garment: the waters stood above the mountains.

7 At thy rebuke they fled; at the voice of thy thunder they hasted away.

8 They go up by the mountains; they go down by the valleys unto the place which thou hast founded for them.

9 Thou hast set a bound that they may not pass over; that they turn not again to cover the earth.

10 He sendeth the springs into the valleys, which run among the hills.

11 They give drink to every beast of the field: the wild asses quench their thirst.

12 By them shall the fowls of the heaven have their habitation, which sing among the branches.

13 He watereth the hills from his chambers: the earth is satisfied with the fruit of thy works.

14 He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle, and herb for the service of man: that he may bring forth food out of the earth;

15 And wine that maketh glad the heart of man, and oil to make his face to shine, and bread which strengtheneth man's heart.

16 The trees of the LORD are full of sap; the cedars of Lebanon, which he hath planted;

17 Where the birds make their nests: as for the stork, the fir trees are her house.

18 The high hills are a refuge for the wild goats; and the rocks for the conies.

19 He appointed the moon for seasons: the sun knoweth his going down.

20 Thou makest darkness, and it is night: wherein all the beasts of the forest do creep forth.

21 The young lions roar after their prey, and seek their meat from God.

22 The sun ariseth, they gather themselves together, and lay them down in their dens.

23 Man goeth forth unto his work and to his labour until the evening.

24 O LORD, how manifold are thy works! in wisdom hast thou made them all: the earth is full of thy riches.

25 So is this great and wide sea, wherein are things creeping innumerable, both small and great beasts.

26 There go the ships: there is that leviathan, whom thou hast made to play therein.

27 These wait all upon thee; that thou mayest give them their meat in due season.

28 That thou givest them they gather: thou openest thine hand, they are filled with good.

29 Thou hidest thy face, they are troubled: thou takest away their breath, they die, and return to their dust.

30 Thou sendest forth thy spirit, they are created: and thou renewest the face of the earth.

31 The glory of the LORD shall endure for ever: the LORD shall rejoice in his works.

32 He looketh on the earth, and it trembleth: he toucheth the hills, and they smoke.

33 I will sing unto the LORD as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.

34 My meditation of him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the LORD.

35 Let the sinners be consumed out of the earth, and let the wicked be no more. Bless thou the LORD, O my soul. Praise ye the LORD.

[teenchiko]

Crazy fact is dat ever since I met her, I promised her to never liked another woman’s post and unfollow every woman on my socials and still keep doin it buh ik since the start I asked her to do the same thing buh ig she ain’t listen. Is Ight tho I’m thuggin… ik js kno I’m the one who’s doin the right thing cuz ik where to keep my head up and follow Gods words: The Savior cautioned, “Whosoever looketh on a woman or man to lust after, him or her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).

[oillampslit]

God looks on the heart is often used as a comforting verse and there is much truth to that but let us remember that if we harbor evil in our heart God will judge that.

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Matthew 5:28

Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

1 John 3:15

For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:

Isaiah 14:13

But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.

1 Samuel 16:7

I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.

Jeremiah 17:10

Sources:

[froyocorp]

talking abt the cog ocs i posted today bc aughhhuu (<- has excitment that cannot be contained) putting it under the cut bc its long but heres the basic run downs of em all bc i never said anything abt em

baggage handler aka porter shes like my Main cog oc ig. she runs a hotel called the cutting suite floor in acorn acres and shes both the head of vacations for the company and their budget therapist. Therapy includes her going "awe :( that sucks. heres a free check in for a relaxing day at our hotel ^_^ Can you get back to work now" she is ALSO shipped with erclaim bc im a loser and i think he just stays in her hotel "haunting" it after being fired. she loves his pathetic swag

the bellhop boys aka moe larry and curtis are all walking stooges references. theres not much more to them theyre like porters very own satellite investors and they all annoy porter very much

goldbricker aka riley is a liar !!! scammer !!!!!!! his storyline is that he steals jellybeans from the toon bank and is trying to sell them back to toons at a higher price, as well as selling them to cogs as they are valuable (to toons. Not to cogs.) hes trying to run a ponzi scheme but no ones buying it rlly. hes also got the midas touch thing going on i legit think he actually can turn anything into gold bars so any attack he'd hold an item with, the model is golden & the attack is buffed

crown prosecutor aka princess marilyn no im not typing out her full name Shes just based on mary sue culture but i mean it so lovingly. shes a cog princess from "suitsor" and shes probably definitely 100% british. shes like a glorified name dropper as in she knows every manager somehow from past work or past schooling. she rolls her R's also shes so himedere so queen deltarune coded

aaand copyeditor aka tina shes so small so tiny so cutes. its one of them its/hers, has a cane, and is mute but in a cog way - her gimmick is she wouldn't have her own sfx! if shes speaking dialogue, its other cog's sfx and dialogue (eg., it would do an attack but say a holly voiceline - "oh looketh, a burnt boor" - and then next attack do a dave voiceline - "better not dance cold on my floor") she could probably stitch together voicelines like a tf2 old sfm. i cant pin down in my head if she hates toons or is neutral about them, as it never gives opinion unless it can parrot what someone else thinks that she agrees with at that moment, so i think its funny to think no one knows how well she performs bc shes so quiet

[adenial-a]

'Tis one of her more lucid moments when Lovek next enters the tower. The amber egg still clutched to her chest with one hand, Rennala reaches forth to grasp his hand with her other. "My Lovek," she starts, frowning as she looks at him closely. "Thou looketh tired… Rest here, next to me. I shall watch over thee, my dear child."

ㅤㅤhe gasps in fear when her cold hand wraps around his wrist , startled out of his own mind and forced to look at his mother . in his chest a deep pain blossoms and unfurls at the call of his name , and it is a desperate , horrible , feeling . choked up hope , from times where this was more frequent , that he had tried to bury somewhere deep inside of himself . ㅤㅤdays were better when he could shut off his own mind as he walked into her tower . he could handle it better , washing her feet , her hands , her face , making sure the dirt of the floor does not stain her moonkissed skin for overlong -- placing food at her side , kissing her head , all without a single word spoken . ㅤㅤdays were easier then he'd then turn away , towards the half formed amalgamations surrounding her singing sweetly , and he instead focused on the newly made , or the newly dead , and did what he could for them in kind . ㅤㅤbut days like this ? where she held his hand and spoke his name , and he remembered that this was his mother , and oh how he missed his mother , they were the worst . he crumples to his knees before her , dramatic as always , as an outpouring of pain flows out .

ㅤㅤ"ㅤmother ,ㅤ"ㅤhe whimpered , putting his forehead to her knuckles , gripping her with all his love . if only his love alone , if his desire and want , kept her lucid enough to stay with him a little longer . he does not expect her to come back to him completely , he just wants minutes more of her time .ㅤ"ㅤi am , i am . i'm so tired .ㅤ" ㅤㅤhe confesses it as a whisper , moving to put his head in her lap and guiding her hand into his hair . sometimes he did this even when she wasn't lucid , stupid childish moments where he could pretend the weight on his head was from love , that she still loved him . ㅤㅤwhy couldn't rennala love him enough to have stayed ? he thinks , and it isn't the first time . it wont be the last . ㅤㅤ"ㅤi miss you , mother . i miss father , too . and ranni , rykard , radahn . i miss them so much , mother .ㅤ"ㅤif only that rune controlled the flow of time . if rebirth was truly that , to go back to be reborn again , at a time before now . if he could live it all again , every comfort and every loving moment , he would cherish it . he would fix it . ㅤㅤ"ㅤi'm sorry , mother . i wish i had been stronger , i wish i could have made them stay .ㅤ"

[smolvenger]

Stella of Essex or The Vicar's Wife Betrayed, Chapter 5: Yellow Roses

Based off of The Essex Serpent (I would say Fandom but honestly, I love to hate it so here's a Fix It FIc)

Pairing: some Stella/William, mainly Stella/Being Happy, and William/Being Held Accountable and Facing Consequences for Cheating, and eventually Stella/Male OC.

Series Summary: The Essex Serpent is reimagined and told from the perspective of Stella Ransome. And with a new ending. Stella must come to terms with not only her mortality but her husband's heartbreaking affair. A portrait of a woman who became The Ideal Lady her time and marriage required her to be. A picture of a marriage of love and bliss torn apart by a husband's infidelity. Where Stella Ransome, in the midst of devastating heartbreak and a terminal illness, gains her strength, finds her voice, and dares to seek freedom, hope...and even revenge.

Chapter Summary: In which a Widow from London and her son arrive in Aldwinter for The Serpent. Stella and William are introduced to her. But Stella begins to feel odd.

Chapter Warnings: Eventual Major Character Death, Mentions of food, children, religion, mentions of domestic abuse, realistic depictions of corsets, and portrayals of illness. Being Anti William and Anti C*ra so if you like the characters or pairing you have been warned. Divergence from Canon.

Chapter Word Count: 6K (Take a bathroom break)

Ko-Fi Link

A03 Link

Prologue//One//Two//Three//Four

“Ye have heard that it was by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: but I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery already in his heart.”- Matthew 5: 27-28.

“But if she has no intellectual hold upon her husband’s heart, she must inevitably become that most helpless and pitiable of earthly objects-a slighted wife.”- Sarah Stickney Ellis, from The Women of England: Their Social Duties and Domestic Habits.

I am aware many of you reading this are familiar with the story of The Essex Serpent of Aldwinter. And only a few of you are not. Before I begin the next part, you must be reminded or told of this one fact.

There was no serpent. There never was a serpent.

Despite all our terror at the time, there never was any giant, magical, murderous snake.

No snake killed those bodies.

No snake made Naomi disappear.

Little did we know at the time, we were being afraid of nothing. And what brought her to the town, was nothing.

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

To me, her name is too painful to write, much less speak, after what happened. To me, she will always be The Woman. And The Woman she was indeed when she first moved in!

Whenever there is a newcomer, rumors jump around like squirrels. Small towns are especially prone to this when so little happens at a time. I only did what I usually did with newcomers. I would bake my bread. Then I could deliver it as a welcoming present. Especially considering that this was a fellow woman who could be joining our Bible Studies and Sewing circles. No question she would be at church on Sunday. But it was five days until then! She would have to know she was welcome here, most of all by me.

6. Build relationships with women in the church to support, encourage and model Godliness to them.

As I walked down holding the warm pan, Martha passed me and gave me a laugh. Dressed in her walking gown, I noticed a newspaper was tucked under her arm.

“Why, is it for the newcomer? You gave bread to me when I arrived!” she called out.

“Do you…do you know where she lives?” I asked curiously.

I had written down an address on a scrap of paper placed in my pocket, but both of my hands holding a white towel over a hot pan would not grace me with the freedom to retrieve it.

Martha pointed one way and kindly offered to walk me there. We walked up to the little house. I knocked on the door, but there was no response. I knocked again, louder.

“Hello! There’s a visitor!” Martha shouted boisterously.

The only person who opened the door was not a woman, but a young boy. A boy who wasn’t at school. He looked thin and his eyes were wide, his skin sickly pale. Although he looked close to Joanna’s age, he carried himself with an air as if he was far younger with his slumping posture and the way he stared up at us blankly.

“Is your mother here?” I asked warmly.

“My mother’s not here now,” he replied somberly.

“I am Mrs. Stella Ransome; my husband is the vicar of the parish here. I am here to welcome your mother and you to town with this,” I said, offering the bread.

He looked at it and took the pan in his arms, but he did not smile.

“Thank you” he replied quietly.

“Frankie, where is your mother?” Martha asked. “She was here this morning when I spoke to her!”

“She’s off to find the Serpent,” the boy explained.

“And leave you alone? Oh, you poor thing!” I spoke. “Perhaps you should ask your mother to enroll you at school- my own children go there, and they’ll be plenty of other little boys for you to play with! You don’t have to spend all day at home…”

“I’m big enough to be by myself for a little bit, now…” he said.

“And I’m checking in on him, making sure he’s not catching on fire, don’t worry!” Martha added in.

“Oh, well…that is good. You at least can help yourself to some of the bread, Frankie” I said.

“Do make sure you eat that lunch I made you- and Mrs. Ransome was nice enough to give you some bread to go along with it! Have you yet?” Martha asked, placing her arms akimbo.

Frankie shrugged again. He looked down and then back up with no change in his sad, distant face.

“Frankie, I will call on you shortly, and your plate and one slice of that bread should be eaten by now! Don’t tell me you aren’t hungry! Your mother will insist!” Martha scolded.

He closed the door. We walked out into the roads right outside the gate of the house. Out of habit, I looked around the buildings in case anything unusual popped up. Or there were people listening in. But Martha and I were alone.

“She is here for the Serpent?” I asked.

Martha nodded in confirmation.

“Yes, she read our newspaper article and since then, she is obsessed! A most extraordinary, spirited woman, she! She wants to find it…” Martha continued.

“Why?” I asked. “I would want to avoid it.”

The wind blew a little colder. A few orange leaves from the trees fell onto the toes of our shoes. I was shivering inside my coat and scarf.

“For science. She’s a scientist! She loves fossils and history and wants to collect evidence of the serpent, make a name for herself because of it…”

“Why then, that’s very…very noble, I think!” I said.

It was unconventional. I little to never heard of women scientists. She was bound to be quite a character at the Bible Study. Perhaps she would have stories or share a fossil she discovered!

But then again, she was a scientist. She would frown at our Bibles, perhaps, and not participate in our prayers. Perhaps the church was out of the question. I wondered if I would even see her at all.

I did see her. I rushed with my children to church. Happily, we were on time even for Sunday School this time around. As I gathered my own three little ones and walked into the sanctuary, I made my rounds of greetings and chats with the other members.

One gentleman, the local surgeon named Lucas, turned to me with a smile. But today his smile seemed a little too friendly.

“Why, if it isn’t the Fairy Queen of Aldwinter herself!” he greeted.

He leaned forward, eyes shining, and hands in his pockets.

“Thank you, it is good to see you too,” I replied plainly. “And you speak compliments beautifully.”

I turned away promptly but he walked in front of me. His chest was puffed like a rooster.

“And what has the Miss Fairy Queen had next after the service? Plans for the Christmas service and pageant, as per usual from her, hm? Surely, I should be her humble servant and assist her...”

He had quite a nerve, I thought, knowing that my husband was the head of the church and even a few feet away. There was proof of a slight sneeze that echoed off the high ceilings- William was just getting over a cold. But thankfully after three days of me insisting on bedrest and broth, he was well enough to preach.

“I shall tell you what the Fairy Queen shall do after the service, Lucas. She shall l be with her husband,” I said flatly.

He let out an exhale, but his head bowed a little in acknowledgment of fairness. He tried. I gave him no room for encouragement. He respected my refusal. A friend of his, a plump man with a belly and a handlebar mustache tapped over on Lucas’s shoulder. There was a grin on his thin lips.

“Hey…the new woman is here…and she’s a widower too…” he alerted.

Lucas’s head turned and his jaw dropped. Thankfully, he forgot about his brief chase for another hunt!

My eyes followed in curiosity. Could it be? Sure enough, sitting on the pew was Frankie. Next to him was The Woman.

The first thing that struck me was that she was beautiful. Extremely, extremely beautiful. What was most striking was her hair. It was a golden blonde, like the rays of the sun, it was wavy too, making it seem like she glowed. However, although she had put it up like in fashion, strands fell loose around her face and from the style, but never to where it diminished her appearance despite the messiness. In fact, it made her seem romantic and wild. She was slender but still womanly. A straight nose, a creamy, cherubic face, and bright, piercing eyes.

The service began and I took my place again on the first row. William walked up to the pulpit to recite scripture. He spoke with such confidence you would have never known he was sick a few days ago.

“And in the first day there shall be a holy convocation, and in the seventh day there shall be a holy convocation to you; no manner of work shall be done in them, save that which every man must eat, that only may be done of you,” he intoned.

The service began and carried on as usual a parade of hymns, prayers, the choir, the sermon, and so on. I was glad for it again and for having a place to worship and feel refreshed. Even the children seemed calm and more interested today, far from the wailing babies they were in the past. The service ended and I could have my curiosity answered about the newcomer.

10. Stay after service to allow people to get to know you.

Lucas was not the only man affected by her beauty. It seemed nearly every man in the town was coming up to greet her. She would answer politely, if not curtly. I went up to see her, my children nearby, patiently waiting out my rounds of chatting.

“Good day, I wanted to welcome you the other day, but I’m glad you’re here,” I began.

“Thank you,” she replied.

“I am Mrs. Ransome, and these are my children:” I reached out an arm to show them “ Joanna, James, and John here.”

Each one politely introduced themselves and she replied. She gave me her name. Right as I was asking and chatting about how she was finding her new home, I noticed that on the collar of her dress, there was a large purple bruise. I kept trying my best to ignore it. But John could not.

“Why…are you alright Did you…did you fall?” he asked, pointing right at it.

She jumped with a slight panic, finding where my eyes looked, and then tugged her collar above to hide the mark. I looked down a little in embarrassment and hissed his name to behave himself. Meanwhile, Frankie’s eyes grew large and he dropped his jaw. The Woman merely steeled herself.

“Yes.” She answered curtly. “Painful.”

My husband joined my side. There was the introduction and small talk. She was finding her situation well here, comfortable, already good friends with Martha, and her research project was now underway. But it was all still very new for her to get used to.

“You should visit our house, we have a leg of mutton and Stella here makes an excellent cook,” he suggested.

“Yes, when are you free? I’m sure the children would like to play too…” I added on.

“That would be nice, thank you. I can visit Tuesday evening.” She replied.

Once it was confirmed, other women would run to me, barraging me with questions.

“Mrs. Ransome, I’m so thrilled to be pregnant, but I feel so awful all of the time, what must I do?”

“Mrs. Ransome, there’s a girl in Sunday School who keeps crying, what must be done about her?”

“Mrs. Ransome, I need help with the laundry with this broken hand, could you help me?”

I excused myself away to give my answers, volunteer my time, and offer what advice I could give.

“If you feel bad about your pregnancy, run a hot bath and ask for tea or hot cocoa and eat some candy, try not to overexert yourself. That must be Emma! She’s very little, she still misses her mother when they’re separated for a minute! Perhaps offer her some water and remind her she’s safe and if not, then maybe she’s still too little for Sunday school and should wait another year. Oh yes, of course, I can help! I can be there this afternoon!”

On Monday, after school hours, Joanna was off with her friends on her bike again with Johnny at her heels. William was writing his next sermon and preferred to be left in peace when doing so. I took little James, and we went to the beach.

It was an overcast day. Despite the chill, the air was sweet with the water and the sand was fresh.

“See there! See the waves, Jim? Aren’t they pretty?” I pointed out.

He squinted his eyes right at them and nodded with a grin. He took two steps towards it, the wind gusting into his face.

“Yes, very!”

We walked together across the beach, pointing at birds and seashells and discussing his day when I saw a huddled figure. At first, I jumped and grabbed onto my son.

“Mama, what is it?” he asked.

When I looked carefully, it was The Woman. She was down on the ground observing the rocks while scribbling notes onto a journal.

I walked up closer to her, greeting “good afternoon!”

“The Same to you!” she replied. Her head turned towards me in acknowledgment and then back to carefully observing the rock in her hand.

“May I ask, what are you doing?” I questioned.

“I’m researching The Serpent, trying to find tracks,” she explained.

The Woman gave the last note with a flourish of her pen, tucking it behind her ear. She began to wipe any sand off her clothes and stood up. But looking at the mid-body of her dress, I let out a small gasp.

“What is it?” she asked.

“You…I…I’m so sorry it isn’t polite to say so…” I pleaded, taking one step back.

Even James lifted his face up to mine in curiosity as to why. I tried searching around for something to change the subject quickly. But The Woman took a step closer to me in confrontation.

“Why did you gasp, Mrs. Ransome?” she asked.

A glint in her eyes implied she knew why. And no other subject on the clouds or what her son was up to could possibly distract her.

I clutched a little onto James’s arm. The words stuttering got out of me.

“You…you don’t…you don’t have a…you aren’t wearing a…a..” I tried to gesture to the middle of my body with my free hand.

“A corset, you mean? I’m not wearing a corset?” she said.

“Yes.”

Her nostrils flared and her eyebrows lowered in frustration.

“It’s a torture device that only limits women and how we can move and what we can do. I will not wear one as I am researching! Any modern woman refuses them, and I am such!” she huffed.

She glanced down, noticing I was wearing one. Then she looked up, her shoulders relaxing. She reopened her journal.

“I apologize, I have a lot of feelings regarding corsets,” she said.

“I understand,” I replied.

“Now you must please leave me, I have to finish to see if there are any tracks,” she dismissed.

“Good…. good day to you too,” I said, James and walking away from her.

Now, this was an oddity above all else! Not wanting to wear her corset? Did she not want her back and breasts supported? Did she not want to have her clothes look smooth when she put them on? What about when her unmentionable arrived, did she not want the help with the stomach cramps a corset could give? How did her hips ever fare against the weight of her skirts?

Yes, my own corsets made my posture straight and I could not lean down to touch my toes, but I never felt it restrain my movements. I could still walk about and garden fine enough. I saw women ride bikes down the Aldwinter streets while still in corsets. The one I was wearing that day came from a factory run by Madame Valery. It was a woman-made corset! Wouldn’t Madame Valery herself notice if her creations were too restrictive and uncomfortable?

I wanted to tell The Woman that she could wear one and experiment without trouble. She only had to bend her knees to get down onto the ground to observe something. Did she know that she didn’t have to make the laces to tight when she wore one? She could merely adjust the strings so they would fit her to prevent them from slipping off but still fit. Maybe her mother never taught her how, assuming she had one. Maybe she kept buying ones in the wrong size her entire life! Surely, with the right corset on, she could even face The Serpent if she had to capture it, fight it, or run?

But I knew if I even hinted at it, it would only make The Woman more upset and unease any pleasantness there could be between us.

It seemed perhaps her line was directed at me, maybe insulting me and my own choice to wear one. But I did breach a sensitive subject unknowingly. Maybe I Wasn’t the only one that day who noticed it and asked about it. Maybe she was taking out her anger on me without meaning to.

12. Be a blessing to the women in the church; encourage others to do the same.

I asked God to forgive me and to let me turn the other cheek. It was just a mistake of mine. I didn’t know and now I knew never to bring it up with her.

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

There was a large Leg of Mutton I purchased from The Butchers on Saturday. And now on Tuesday, I had to make sure there was enough of it for seven of us, as well as side dishes and dessert. I was up to the challenge.

As the door opened, I was still awaiting the completion of our stone oven on the food. I rushed to greet The Woman and Frankie but then had to promptly return to finish the cooking. Then there were the grilled mushrooms, walnuts, bread, and so on. It was stuffy in the kitchen, yet I rolled up my sleeves and carried on. Thank goodness the oven was well prepared for the Herculean task today. It was just like a normal dinner-with just a little bit more thrown in.

Any loose strands that came from my bun, I tucked into my hair and away. So, help me, neither my husband nor she would think me sloppy and uncomely for one moment. May William always think of me as beautiful and perfect, I hoped! I heard the footsteps of my family as well as that of the dog dashing in and out. Any time I stepped out, I got made sure my hair was neat and got rid of my apron, only to tie it back once I returned.

They were all around the couch, discussing among themselves when I walked in, wiping my hands on my apron.

“Dinner will be ready shortly!” I chirruped.

Once we were all setting plates and silverware, The Woman and Frankie took their seats. Frankie seemed to salivate the plate in front of him. The Woman reached to take the water jug before her.

“We must ask for a blessing first,” I reminded everyone.

She froze for a second. Her arm outstretched her sleeve as she was reaching for the jug of water, and I noticed a bruise on her arm. Eyeing down, she noticed it too and retreated her arm.

From her reaction on Sunday, I decided not to mention anything about it. Perhaps another fall.

My three children, William, and I ducked our heads. The Woman and Frankie paused before they followed us.

‘Oh Lord, we ask you, bless our food and bless our guest. Keep us all safe from the Serpent, amen,” William prayed.

As I began my own plate, James turned to The Woman.

“You’re a widow…right?” he asked.

“Yes, I am,” she confirmed, beginning to dig into her pie. Again, the beautiful golden waves from her head fell in loose strands over her.

“So that means your husband is dead…what was he like?” James asked curiously.

She froze. The fork in her hand turned into a grip.

“He was a horrible, horrible man, and I do not wish to speak of him again, thank you. I am sorry, but I did not like him,” she answered plainly.

Oh.

So that explained the bruises, I thought.

James flinched back in shame. I leaned toward him.

“Just apologize…you didn’t know, darling, it was just a mistake,” I whispered.

James kept his head ducked “I’m…I’m sorry…”

“That’s all right, you didn’t know…thank you for the apology… But…you all begin by praying?” she asked.

The bread plate was passed around. William looked at her with slight half exhale, half laugh.

“Why yes, of course, before every meal…” he explained.

John accidentally knocked over his water. I ran up, napkin flying, to dab away at it and clean him up.

“It’s just not natural for me, to need a blessing just to eat,” The Woman said.

I fled to the kitchen and returned with another glass of water for John.

“It’s a way of giving thanks, showing appreciation,” William said.

Thus, began that dinner conversation. William and The Woman were going back and forth, doing most of the talking for us.

She made a point about science.

William made a point about religion.

She made a point about science.

William made a point about religion.

James let out a small burp. I urged him to say “pardon” and dab his mouth with his napkin.

Joanna then turned her head towards the woman. “Have you found anything out about The Serpent, yet?”

Of course, it would get to the serpent. There was much excitement among the local children concerning it. There was a thrill. It was a wild legend. A scary story told around the fire.

The Woman’s eyes glittered toward her and said “I believe there are some tracks in some of the woods, I’ve found…”

“Our woods?” John asked nervously. “The ones you can see from the attic?”

She turned and matter of fact explained to him, “no, it was not located in close proximity to your house…”

We all went around and spoke about what we thought about it. William said it was a creature of God and had to be seen as such. Joanna said it fascinated her. John said it frightened him. James was awe-struck at it. The Woman gave a whole list of theories that went on for ten minutes. Frankie ate his mutton.

I only said, “I only hope it stays away from us and harms no one.”

Once the meal was finished, the boys brought Frankie upstairs to play in their little hideout in the attic. The Woman, Joanna, and William were at the table. She was telling Joanna all about science and Joanna kept bobbing her head as if hypnotized.

I smiled and decided to finish some chocolate biscuits I began that day. Perhaps even that sad, odd Frankie would enjoy them. Maybe even he would smile and know he had a friend in me and speak in a sentence with more than four words.

As I began to pull them off to cool, I heard Joanna’s footsteps upstairs. The Woman and my husband continued their discussion. As I glanced, despite their opposing opinions, he was smiling.

At least there would be peace and no arguing here! I thought gratefully. With someone so passionate about science staying under a religious house, I feared tempers would flare. But so far, there was no shouting and threats. All was good.

I made sure there was sugar powder dusting on top of the biscuits. Using a knife, I found they were the right crispiness. I took a small bite, and it seemed the right flavor. Content, I placed them on a white plate.

William and The Woman were still talking.

Carrying the plate, I passed them and went upstairs to the attic. Joanna was in her room. She took two biscuits with thanks and went to her bed to eat them while reading.

I brought them then to the attic. Once I arrived, I noticed the “club” was formed. The children loved it as a place to gather when they were all younger. It was set up whenever Club was in session. It was a makeshift tent of old bedsheets against doornails on the wall of the attic. A lamp was used for light inside as they were laughing and playing. Their shadows were flashing against it. James was the first to pop his curly head out of the flap.

“Chocolate! Mummy has chocolate!” he cheered.

The boys ran up, with many thanks (and an actual smile from Frankie!), and started to eat them.

“Would you like any, mama?” John asked.

I looked down. I had to make sure everyone else would have some before I took one. Frankie and John had three each, and James had about four. There were four left.

11. Be consistently humble; appreciating everything while demanding very little.

“No, but thank you, you’re a kind boy, Johnny. I must make sure our guests have some before I do.” I spoke.

Meanwhile, The Woman and William continued their talking downstairs. When the plate went down, they chewed on what was left, so hypnotized by their conversation they didn’t hear me sit on the couch next to them. I placed the dessert plate on the small table. They smiled as thanks and ate the biscuits, still deep in discussion. So much so that they didn’t see that they each ate two. No biscuits were spared for me. I said nothing about it.

That evening, William and I lay in bed. We held each other to the crackling fire. The autumnal chill of the outside seemed to creak into our room.

“Stella, she’s going to help me, and we will search for the Serpent,” he announced,

“Oh, that is good. A team together… should be easier on you. She’s clearly an expert, smart. I couldn’t understand half the scientific words she said. She is quite pretty, too…” I replied.

I laid my head on his chest. I looked up to admire the newest addition to my collection of blue porcelain plates just above it on the mantle. I didn’t see his face.

“Yes, it seems every man in town is mad about her,” he commented.

“Lucas is at her heels,” I commented.

“As a man, it’s hard not to blush when she praises you,” he said.

I turned my face to him with a little laugh.

“Oh…a little infatuation?” I asked.

He returned the laugh.

“Yes, I admit! Nothing more! Do you remember your copy of Pride and Prejudice? Aren’t you still infatuated with Mr. Darcy still? And Heathcliff and Colonel Brandon and Edward Ferrers?”

“Yes, I am! Any woman who reads those books keep our little infatuations for those men!” I commented.

Outside we heard the hooting of owls in the night sky.

“You…you are…you are my wife…” he murmured.

“And that I am,” I said. “I may have my infatuation with Colonel Brandon, but when night falls, you are my husband, not he.”

I kissed his cheek and went to sleep, thinking no more of it. My husband is a holy, upright man, I thought. At the end of the day, I was the woman he loved. After all, it was only fair, and I trusted him.

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

Weeks passed. I felt tired yet planned the Christmas service and pageant. The business of December made it fly past. January came and February was at its end with the promise of March. All that time I was doing my usual duties and the search for the Serpent continued. No actual creature had yet to be found, yet every townsperson was on the edge of their seat.

It was promised to be a long winter. Everything was still cold and grey. I was sweeping away at the floors as the children came home from school. I had felt dizzy and a little out of breath, I paused and held the broom, pressing it down to ground myself. But I was glad to see them. Joanna had several books in her hands. She went promptly into the kitchen.

Johnny looked around and then at me. The dog was on his heels, wagging its tail.

“Mama…where’s papa? He wasn’t at home when I get home from school at all this week…” he asked.

“Papa’s doing something very important. He’s with Frankie’s mother- you know her. Remember?” I explained.

“Yes.”

“They’re out searching for The Serpent, your father’s going to consecrate it,” I explained.

He tilted his head, setting himself on the couch. His legs couldn’t reach the floor and swung a little.

“Why aren’t you with him?” he asked.

4. Encourage his advancements while maintaining the balance of his home and family.

I went over to the couch and smiled.

“I’m not clever enough for the science, I admit. And, well, someone must keep an eye on you three and make sure the home is nice for him when he returns,” I replied.

“If he returns!” John asked nervously.

I clutched his hand.

“Your father is not alone, and he’s a smart man. He will be safe. He will come home…how could he not for you? He loves you so very much. He loves all of us, he won’t throw himself into danger without considering us,” I explained.

“Papa’s hunts with the other men, he should just shoot it!” Johnny said.

“Then tell that to him when he returns!” I suggested, I took my hand and rubbed it through his reddish blonde curls.

I heard a CLANK of a pot falling onto the floor with a “Blast!” from Joanna.

I got up and went into the kitchen. Joanna was moving the pots around and on top of the stove, putting various things inside: salt, water, oil, and so on. Many of our pots and pans were brought out and, on the table, there were some books left open to black and white pictures of thermometers. Joanna poured the water jug into the pot and turned the stove on. She never showed much interest whenever I tried to teach her how to cook!

“What are you doing?” I asked.

She looked up at me with a large smile.

“It’s a science experiment! I’m going to see what happens to these when you boil them!” she said, gesturing to the salt, oil, and flour taken from the pantry.

“For school?”

“No! It’s in these!” she pointed to the books and opened to the illustrations.

“Since when have you gained interest in science experiments?” I asked.

She explained to me that it was The Woman who inspired her. Joanna went on about how smart and incredible The Woman was. How she told her about science and experiments and showed her some of her notes even. That Joanna wanted to be just like her when she became older.

“A scientist! Me! Perhaps even a doctor even…”

“You’ll need to go to university usually to learn how to be one. That’s why there aren’t many women who are those things…” I commented.

She gave me a defiant huff, her eyes forward and determined.

“Then I will become the first woman to do it! Why do we have to have so many choices anyway?” she complained before turning her light head back to the experiments.

“Just leave enough so I can make dinner, at least…” I requested, walking away to finish sweeping.

I will confess, I envied The Woman at that moment. I envied how beautiful she was. How she was getting lines of suitors interested in her while my own admirers before being engaged were only a handful. I envied how much my daughter seemed to genuinely worship her rather than feel a sense of love out of plain duty from familial blood. And I envied her boldness, her courage to discover The Serpent.

The Serpent terrified me from what bits I heard. I thought if I were to encounter it, I wouldn’t stand my ground. I would scream and run away. I would grab my children and take them somewhere safe. I would hide. I felt I couldn’t fight it much less research it. The less I knew the better my peace of mind. Yet The Woman did. She wanted to go out and find it. She knew no such fear. She trusted that her own child was safe at home without fear of anything crawling inside with fangs. If it was a Leviathan in the water, she would dive in and swim after it. She could run about the countryside for hours and do as she pleased.

My thoughts were interrupted as I saw James. He wandered to me with a fistful of a bit of chocolate cake. It was the one I baked today as a birthday gift for Mrs. Elliott. It was to be given at her celebration this evening. I laughed at him and wiped away the mess on his cheeks.

“Would you like any, Mama?” he asked.

“No, thank you…” I spoke.

“You didn’t eat at breakfast…” he commented, tilting his head.

“I wasn’t hungry then, darling, but I assure you, I’m fine…”

Even though I envied the boldness of The Woman, I enjoyed my comfortable life. Despite how much of it I had to do, I enjoyed cooking, cleaning, sewing, mending, knitting, gardening, reading the odd book, collecting my blue items, and pressing my flowers. Despite the effort, it would take, I enjoyed attending church, helping plan its picnics and holidays and classes, rereading the Bible, going to women’s circles with my friends, and visiting the people of Aldwinter. Most beautiful and fulfilling of all was being a part of my beautiful family- three healthy children and a handsome, generous, intelligent, open-minded husband who was my entire world. Perhaps she and I were just different in our tastes of what enriched our lives. That was all.

So, I would pray to God to take care and rid me of my envy. Then I would go outside and finish the laundry.

Many who have already read of me and of what happened will say I am a cautionary tale. I was a walking warning to other women. That everything I did, said, and agreed with was something that any woman should not do or else share the fate written about me. Then there were others, and these consisted of my elders, family, and my peers at the time, who would hail me as a Perfect Woman. That I was the Saintliest wife and mother who lived and breathed.

And there are times thinking of this that I wonder, how was it I became both?

When I returned home from the celebration and went upstairs, William was writing at his desk.

“Is it the next sermon?” I asked.

He placed an arm over his papers and turned to me.

“No…it’s a letter about what I have found out about The Leviathan,” he explained.

He said that he was writing to The Woman about a verse he discovered in Psalm 104. He was going to let her know that perhaps The Serpent was The Leviathan and if so, that meant it was a creature that remained strictly in the sea.

“If it is strictly a sea creature, then we will know what it is, and we can warn others not to go swimming there…” he expanded.

“That would be good- the mystery will finally be solved. I still think about the book you told me about writing the first day we met, Will! I think would love it and you always had a gift with the written word. They’d have to publish you, William, they must!” I encouraged him, kissing the top of his curly head.

He smiled up at me from his chair, his arm still blocking the letter. He turned around to complete some more as I took off my coat, hat, and gloves and rested on the chair near the fire. Today the walk to Mrs. Elliott’s house and back felt tiring. I found myself trying to exhale deeper as I sat in my chair.

William turned around, scratched at his beard, and looked at me with worried eyes.

“Stella…you seem a little out of breath….” He mused.

“The party was exciting, and the walk was long, but that was all!” I assured him.

When I woke up the next day, although I knew I slept well, I realized I felt sweaty and exhausted. William was not usually an early riser and dozed contently beside me. As he wished me goodbye to head off for Church and Serpent-related duties, I realized that I had no appetite for Breakfast again.

I mustered myself to eat some fruit and boiled eggs, but I started to cough throughout the meal. The coughing continued throughout the day. And the next.

Then, finally, one day, as I was wiping off the dust from surfaces at home, another fit of coughing began. But my chest was tightened with a stabbing pain. The room spun. My legs felt very weak and were shaking. I kept coughing into my sleeve. I tried to go over to get the drawer in the parlor cabinet for a handkerchief, but it only made the dizziness worse.

My legs gave in, and I fell onto the floor. The room kept spinning, the coughs kept coming and I pulled my sleeve into my mouth to block it. All the while my chest kept hurting. My arms were wobbly as I tried to help myself up and failed to.

When I removed my sleeve from my mouth, there was blood.

I heard someone scream before everything went black.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Every Wise Woman Builds Her House

1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

2 He that walketh in his uprightness feareth the LORD: but he that is perverse in his ways despiseth him.

3 In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride: but the lips of the wise shall preserve them.

4 Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox.

5 A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies.

6 A scorner seeketh wisdom, and findeth it not: but knowledge is easy to him that understandeth.

7 Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge.

8 The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way: but the folly of fools is deceit.

9 Fools make a mock at sin: but among the righteous there is favor.

10 The heart knoweth its own bitterness; and a stranger doth not intermeddle with its joy.

11 The house of the wicked shall be overthrown: but the tabernacle of the upright shall flourish.

12 There is a way which seemeth right to a man, but the end of it are the ways of death.

13 Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful; and the end of that mirth is heaviness.

14 The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways: and a good man shall be satisfied from himself.

15 The simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going.

16 A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident.

17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated.

18 The simple inherit folly: but the prudent are crowned with knowledge.

19 The evil bow before the good; and the wicked at the gates of the righteous.

20 The poor is hated even by his own neighbor: but the rich hath many friends.

21 He that despiseth his neighbor sinneth: but he that hath mercy on the poor, happy is he.

22 Do they not err that devise evil? but mercy and truth shall be to them that devise good.

23 In all labor there is profit: but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury.

24 The crown of the wise is their riches: but the foolishness of fools is folly.

25 A true witness delivereth souls: but a deceitful witness speaketh lies.

26 In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge.

27 The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.

28 In the multitude of people is the king’s honor: but in the want of people is the destruction of the prince.

29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.

30 A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.

31 He that oppresseth the poor reproacheth his Maker: but he that honoreth him hath mercy on the poor.

32 The wicked is driven away in his wickedness: but the righteous hath hope in his death.

33 Wisdom resteth in the heart of him that hath understanding: but that which is in the midst of fools is made known.

34 Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people.

35 The king’s favor is towards a wise servant: but his wrath is against him that causeth shame. — Proverbs 14 | Webster’s Bible Translation (WBT) The Holy Bible; Webster’s Bible Translation by Noah Webster, a revision of the King James Bible, Published in 1833 is in the public domain. Cross References: Leviticus 5:7; Ruth 4:11; 1 Samuel 2:36; 2 Samuel 19:7; Job 8:15; Job 21:25; Job 28:28; Psalm 16:11; Psalm 36:4; Psalm 41:1; Psalm 109:17; Psalm 144:14; Proverbs 1:5; Proverbs 2:15; Proverbs 10:22; Proverbs 11:30; Proverbs 12:6; Proverbs 17:4; Proverbs 19:4; Proverbs 19:23; Proverbs 23:9; Proverbs 29:11; Ecclesiastes 7:9; Isaiah 33:6; Habakkuk 3:16; Matthew 24:45; Matthew 25:40; Romans 6:21; 1 Corinthians 3:19; James 1:19; James 4:9; Revelation 1:5

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

https://quranx.com/33.4

Allah hath not assigned unto any man two hearts within his body, nor hath He made your wives whom ye declare (to be your mothers) your mothers, nor hath He made those whom ye claim (to be your sons) your sons. This is but a saying of your mouths. But Allah saith the truth and He showeth the way.

https://quranx.com/33.37

And when thou saidst unto him on whom Allah hath conferred favour and thou hast conferred favour: Keep thy wife to thyself, and fear Allah. And thou didst hide in thy mind that which Allah was to bring to light, and thou didst fear mankind whereas Allah hath a better right that thou shouldst fear Him. So when Zeyd had performed that necessary formality (of divorce) from her, We gave her unto thee in marriage, so that (henceforth) there may be no sin for believers in respect of wives of their adopted sons, when the latter have performed the necessary formality (of release) from them. The commandment of Allah must be fulfilled.

https://quranx.com/33.50

O Prophet! Lo! We have made lawful unto thee thy wives unto whom thou hast paid their dowries, and those whom thy right hand possesseth of those whom Allah hath given thee as spoils of war, and the daughters of thine uncle on the father's side and the daughters of thine aunts on the father's side, and the daughters of thine uncle on the mother's side and the daughters of thine aunts on the mother's side who emigrated with thee, and a believing woman if she give herself unto the Prophet and the Prophet desire to ask her in marriage - a privilege for thee only, not for the (rest of) believers - We are Aware of that which We enjoined upon them concerning their wives and those whom their right hands possess - that thou mayst be free from blame, for Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.

https://quranx.com/33.53

O Ye who believe! Enter not the dwellings of the Prophet for a meal without waiting for the proper time, unless permission be granted you. But if ye are invited, enter, and, when your meal is ended, then disperse. Linger not for conversation. Lo! that would cause annoyance to the Prophet, and he would be shy of (asking) you (to go); but Allah is not shy of the truth. And when ye ask of them (the wives of the Prophet) anything, ask it of them from behind a curtain. That is purer for your hearts and for their hearts. And it is not for you to cause annoyance to the messenger of Allah, nor that ye should ever marry his wives after him. Lo! that in Allah's sight would be an enormity.

https://quranx.com/33.21

Verily in the messenger of Allah ye have a good example for him who looketh unto Allah and the Last Day, and remembereth Allah much.

Islam is like if Toto pulled back the curtain to reveal the man pulling the levers, and when he says "pay no attention to that man behind the curtain," Dorothy says, "would you please be quiet, I'm trying to talk to the wizard."