#ME CRYING BC I DIDNT GET TO DO HALF OF WHAT I WANTED BC i am a.) a fool and b.) easily distracted

[spaghett-onaplate]

depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[orcelito]

Finished all 4 assignments, and it only took me 9 hours of my day

🙃

[waywardsalt]

anyways. holding linebeck gently

[louismygf]

girls when they just finished watching aotv

[mug-of-shark]

For that ask meme: a mix of AAAAAAAAAA and Seafoam (idk why)

mostly accurate actually :) except i dont cry that often

[mrfutureboy]

:c

[nomairuins]

and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do

[soggyriceee]

strawberry | John Price

summary: price gets you to use your safe word

warnings: rough sex, choking, biting, spanking, overstimulation, public oral (male receiving), slapping(mentions of blood). just like really aggressive John until the end where we get soft core John, not edited bc of how much I wrote so, ignore and possible typos PLZ

Price was always pretty rough with you during sex. but never enough to make you cry like he did tonight. he was a whole new person, new man. and all it took was the teasing at dinner with his family to set him off.

it started off light. pulling your dress down in the car, showing off the top of your boobs. of course, you played dumb, apologizing and saying 'I didn't know'. at first he had fallen for it, saying he wouldn't mind if you kept it that way. but then, you got more bold and cocky. under the dinner table, your hand found its place on his pants, right where his dick rested so peacefully. his eyes that were once on the menu were now on your innocent ones. "is everything alright?" his mother asked. John smiled and nodded, a small chuckle leaving his lips. "yes she just looks so pretty tonight doesn't she? cant keep my eyes off her." he smiled, looking back down at you.

the rest of the dinner you got progressively more cocky. to the point his dick was now out, resting in your warm hand. his parents talked about John's passion for the military, how he'd been dedicated to it his whole life. all while your hand played with his tip, squeezing it ever so gently. his hand was quick to find your thigh, gripping it firmly. thankfully, the cloth was enough to cover his lower half and yours, but the thrill of it all was still very much there. when the waiter had came by, you smoothly let his girth go, using the table cloth to cover his hard on. you smirked at the tiny wet circle that appeared onto the cloth right where his tip was.

when his parents were deep into the menu, the waiter helping them with choosing what to eat, John leaned down to your ear and whispered, "keep this up I promise you'll regret it. don't test me lovie." he smiled down at you before turning back to his parents. you pressed your thighs together, smiling softly to yourself. this was exactly what you wanted from him.

his dick remained out for the rest of the dinner, your hand occasionally reaching down and giving it a firm grab, surprising him each time. by the time dinner was done, he had come close to finishing at least 3 times, always flicking your hand away. he was good at keeping his moans and groans suppressed (public sex was something you both had often), but when he'd cum that was a whole different situation.

"well it was lovely seeing you both tonight. we should do this more often." you smiled to his parents as John tried to put his throbbing dick back into his pants. "it was. thank you for inviting us out. hopefully next time we do meet you both will tell us your pregnant." his mom winked, standing from the table. you blushed and looked at John who's eyes were already staring at you. " who knows mom. you might get lucky real soon." he said, his eyes remaining on yours.

the car ride was silent. you were excited but also a bit nervous about what he had in store. of course, you had a feeling it would be nothing short of amazing. "I had fun with your parents." you said as he pulled to a red light. he shifted his whole body to you, tilting his head to the side. "really? seems you had too much fucking fun." he said, his deep voice suddenly turning into a threatening tone. you shifted in your seat, a proud smile still plastered across your face. "I did. you didnt?" you asked innocently, batting your eye lashes.

before he could respond the light turned green. he shifted back to his original position, driving off quickly. his driving got you both home within 10 minuets, and he was quick to get out the car, slamming the door behind him. he walked over to your side, opening the door and helping you out. it was dark outside, about 9:30 at night. the only light that lit the street was the porch lights on each house.

when he had helped you out fully, he quickly dragged you to the front of the car, shoving you down. you gasped at the pain of your knees and the cement, looking up at him. " John that fucking-" his hand came crashing across your face, gripping your chin so you'd look back up at him. "think I fucking care after that shit you pulled at dinner?" he growled, his grip on your chin growing firmer. you looked up at him, smiling innocently. " I was just having fun tho." you said softly, fingers playing with the ends of his pants.

he growled and let your face go, going to his pants buckle while keeping eye contact. "wanna play silly little games like that, okay. lets play." he gripped your hair at the top of your head, forcing your head back. you gasped at the sudden tug, biting your lip at the same time. "open." he said, gripping his dick with his other hand, jerking it off in front of you. "but captain were outside" you smirked, only teasing him more. "stop fucking playing with me. open your goddam mouth." he growled, tugging your hair. you whimpered at the pain, but ultimately opened your mouth. he wasted no time shoving his dick down your throat, your hands immediately going to his thighs to keep balance.

" s..shit. this what you wanted, hm? just needed my dick down your fucking throat." he growled, pulling his hips back before moving them back onto your face. you were unable to even say anything, but the way you nodded slowly as best you could, he smiled down at you. it was so thrilling, getting your face fucked outside in public. the way he looked down at you with such admiration, his dick repeatedly hitting the back of your throat, just to slide back out again.

he pulled your head back a bit more, your head resting on the front bumper of the car now. that same hand rested onto the car hood, his other on your shoulder. "g..gonna fuck that throat faster. bet you want that huh?" he groaned, his hips moving faster. his head fell back, grip on your shoulder tightening. to be honest, John had never gone this far with face fucking. he was pretty gentle when it came to head. sex, no, but when you gave him head it was never something that he forced upon you or was super rough with. he let you take your time, breaks whenever you needed. he was patient. but not tonight and it was definitely something you had to get used to.

your drool practically poured out your mouth, his dick slippery with your saliva. the mix of his pre cum and your saliva made it even easier for his throat to slide down your throat, and it was a feeling he wanted to keep on feeling. tears poured out your eyes the more rough he got with you, mascara running down your cheeks. and he loved it. "look do fucking gorgeous like this love. wanna fuck your face more." he moaned, watching his dick and a fuck ton of saliva come from your mouth as he pulled his dick out, sliding it back in to watch it all pool at the corners of your lips.

to be honest, it was a bit much. again, it was something neither of you had really experienced before. and as much as you tried to relax your throat, it was pretty hard because of how fast and rough he was getting. but when he whimpered out your name, head falling forward, mouth slightly agape, you couldnt give up. "gonna cum baby.. gonna cum down that tight fucking throat." he moaned, his had that was once on your shoulder cupping your cheek. you squeezed your eyes shut, whimpering around his dick. his body jerked forward, his body falling forward onto the hood of the car, his cum shooting down your throat.

he gasped, strained groans leaving him, his hips giving you small thrusts. "t-thats it baby.. fucking swallow.. all of it." he groaned, breathing heavily above you. you tried your best to swallow it all, only a bit seeping out of your lips. he slowly slid his dick out, strings of saliva, cum or even both connecting you both. shoving his soaked dick back in his pants, he looked down at you. your jaw hurt, lips too. you looked up at him, chest heaving up and down. "get the fuck up." he said, gripping your arm and pulling you up into his chest. he gdragged you to the front door, quickly opening the door and shoving you inside.

you had tripped, but ultimately kept your balance. his keys were thrown onto the mail table as he flicked the light on, making quick movements towards you. saliva was still smeared across your face, his cum too. but to say he cared would be a lie. his lips pressed firmly against yours, his tongue sliding in easily, his hand pressed to the back of your neck while his other gripped your ass. "couch. now" he said against your lips. you stumbled backwards, quickly making your way to the couch. despite your stumbling he walked towards you slowly, his head tilted to the side a small smirk plastered along his face. he loved the shy, kinda shocked version of you. he ate it up every time.

"wait." he said as you got to the couch. he walked in front of you, sitting down on the couch. he leaned back, man spreading before patting his lap. "lay." was all he said, eyes staring up at you. you hesitated but did as he asked, laying across his lap. he sighed, hand gripping your calf before moving his hand up your leg. "been so good for me so far. gonna keep being good?" he asked, gripping your thighs, your dress trailing up your body the farther his hand went. he loved your thighs. so much so he one night woke up and decided to fuck into them. pressed them together against your chest, ramming into them. it was hot how much he loved all the parts of your body you had always been insecure or less confident in. when his hands came to your ass, he smoothly slid your panties off and down your legs, tossing them beside him on the couch.

you nodded, throat still pretty sore to speak. but he wasn't going to have that. his hand came down on your ass harshly, your body jerking forward. but his actions after contradicted that, his hand rubbing on the red spot. " words princess. you know I dont like feeling ignored." he whispered, his other hand petting the top of your head soothingly. "y-yes" you croaked out, letting go of the breath you had no idea you were holding onto. " such a shame tho." he mumbled, his hand quickly coming back down harshly onto your ass. a pained whimper fell from you, your eyes squeezing shut, hands gripping the pillow right in front of your face. "you were acting like such a slut earlier. sluts get punished, dont they? especially my pretty little slut." he said, leaning down to your ear while his hand slapped another red spot onto your ass.

John had become a whole new person in the blink of an eye. first the face fucking, now the spanking. what was next? you weren't necessarily scared. but you were anxious. anxious about what he would do to you next. how far he'd take it. you were left in the dark. " teasing me in front of my parents. in public." slap. "bet you wanted me to cum under that table, didnt you?" another harsh slap. he watched how your ass jiggled after each hit, bitting his lip. he himself had no idea what came over him. at all. but he knew that he liked it. in fact, he loved it.

your ass was a bright red, stinging so badly the cold air didnt even help. in a way, it made it worse. tears once again didnt fail to brim your eyes, feeling more and more slaps hit your ass, the same spot each and every time. " P-price please" you cried out. but he was in a trance. he hated it, but deep down loved the way blood began to prickle up from the spot he was abusing. "so pretty.." he whispered, before leaning down, placing a small kiss onto the skin before gently biting the spot. you winced in pain, again digging your nails into the pillow.

he sighed, pulling you up by your waist, your knees digging into his thighs. "lay down baby.. gonna fuck that pretty little cunt." he whispered, holding your hips to help you lay down. once you were comfortable, back on the couch, he rose, pulling his pants off and down his body. his dick sprung out, pre cum leaking onto the floor in drops. you whimpered at the sight, your eyes shooting back up to his. " dont worry baby.. im gonna fuck you." he smirked, practically leaping over you. he leaned back down, lips meeting your slightly wet ones. your face, for the most part, was dry and crusty. but again, he didnt care. he'd been on the battle field with literal guts splattered everywhere. plus, it was his own cum on your face

his lips distracted you from his tip moving up your cunt, collecting all the slick you had. it was embarrassing, how much pain and embarrassment made you wet. you both had a wild side, but there were limits that you both hadn't yet reached, but tonight, he had decided it was time. and its not like you minded and your cunt was proof you didnt.

without warning, his dick pushed into you, a gasp coming from you that broke the kiss. his nose touched yours, his eyes looking down into your wide ones. " I know baby.. just relax. " he whispered, feeling you tighten around his dick. your hands found his shoulders, gripping them firmly as he bottomed out inside you. his forehead connected to yours, a deep sigh leaving him. he wasted little to no time in gripping your legs to wrap them around his waist, your bleeding ass cheek failing to not sting. he pulled out real slow before slamming back into you, going straight in for a faster pace.

your head pressed into the pillow, eyes squeezing shut. " fuck this cunt is so tight. so fucking... good." he groaned, his hands keeping his body up. he looked down, watching his dick slide in and out, the slick from your cunt forming strings. the sounds were sinful, the squelching of your wetness as his dick slammed into you. "j-john.. oh my god~" you whined, back arching up. he smirked down at you, one hand gripping your face. " keep those pretty eyes on me. wanna see your face while I fuck you senseless." he said, his voice deep and smooth like honey.

his tip was quick to hit your womb, the bulge in your stomach not going unnoticed. he moaned at the sight, biting his lip. " look at that. taking this dick so well. such a good slut for me, aren't you?" he cooed, watching it disappear and re appear over and over. you went cross eyes, mouth falling agape at how deep he was hitting into you. it was embarrassing, but you felt your first orgasm of the night hit you like a train. it was coming, and coming fast. he felt the way your cunt pulsed around him, and he chuckled, looking back up at you. "gonna cum already? better hold it. im not done with this little cunt." he said, his right hand going to your throat.

your gasped, hands gripping his wrists as his thrusts only got more and more rough. you couldnt hold back and he knew you couldnt. but he wanted that. he wanted you to cum, just so he could punish you for cumming. his eyes were saying it all, watching you with a small smirk on his lips, mocking you. the way he looked down at you, his thrusts hitting all the right spots in your cunt, you couldnt stop the knot in your stomach from coming loose. he smiled, looking down between you both to watch your cum pour out of you and coat his dick.

" tsk tsk.. being a bad girl again are we?" he chuckled, shaking his head. " I-i couldnt.. help it. im s..sorry" you whined, eyes pleading with his. but he didnt care. again, this is what he wanted. now he could punish you for it.

his hips didnt stop. in fact they sped up. he let go of your throat, that same hand finding your clit. " gonna cum again. and again. until I decide ive had enough of you. since that what you wanted to fucking bad, right?" he asked, watching his thumb play with your throbbing clit. you tried your hardest to pull away, but his other hand held your hips down. " stop fucking running. take what the fuck you deserve for being such a fucking cum slut." he growled, leaning farther over your body to hit deeper into your cunt.

your mouth fell agape once more, your hands digging into his shoulders. he moaned at the feeling, his head falling into your neck. his lips sucked onto your skin, leaving behind big, dark purple and red, bloody marks. his teeth sunk into your skin, feeling his orgasm approaching. " gonna cum in you. you want that, want me to fill you up with my cum? make you a mommy?" he moaned, his thumb still working on your clit. " y-yes.. fuck fill me with it John p..please" you moaned, hands finding the back of his head and running your fingers through his hair.

he moaned into your neck, giving you a few harsh thrust before small, cute little whimpers slipped past him. his cum shot deep into you, his teeth once again sinking into you. you cried out at the pain, the taste of blood dancing along his tongue. and when you though the was done, you felt his hips slamming back into you.

he leaned up off you, blood smeared on his bottom lip. his hair was a mess, bot from your fingers and his head moving against you as he laid into your neck. his hand gripped your calf, pulling it from his waist before holding it up in the air. " thought I was done with you? no baby.. gonna fuck this cunt till you cant even cum anymore." he said, watching you from below.

his thumb went right back to your clit, rubbing small circles that matched his pace. you were sure it was because you just had the strongest orgasm you've had in a bit, but you already felt tired and worn out. it could also be from all the blood Price had managed to draw from you. " c-cant take it." you cried, hands resting on his stomach in hopes to slow him down. but it only fueled him. seeing your poor attempts in stopping him, watching you run from him. " come on princess. take this dick like I know you can. making me so proud." he moaned, head falling back at the feeling of both your warmth and slick coating him.

the room sounded like pure filth, both you guys' moans, the sound of your slick, the skin slapping. it was hot, but also so much for you. it didnt take long for your second orgasm to follow your first one, this one more powerful than the last. " come on baby, cum for me. I know you want to." he smiled from above you, watching how his dick slid back into your cunt with ease and pull back out that much easier. your fingers gripped the ends of the couch cushions, your body jerking forward as another orgasm washed over your body. you chanted his name, legs shaking as you came down from it.

" p...please hold on." you cried out, feeling him continue to fuck into you. he shook his head, growling at you. " didnt I say im not stopping till this cunt cant cum anymore? now shut the fuck up and take it." he growled, his hand landing a slap across your face.

you had to admit, Price was beginning to scare you. it went from just being anxious to being a bit scared of him. he hadn't realized it tho, thinking the look on your expression was just from being so cock drunk. he loved it, watching your blood slide down your neck, pooling in your collar bone. his balls wet with your cum and slick. he felt too good to stop.

" gonna cum again. milking me so goddam good baby." he groaned, his head falling down. you though that this would be the end. that he'd be too tired to keep fucking you. and you were right, kinda.

he shot his last load into you, his body falling forward just a bit at the feeling. he chanted your name, telling you how good your pussy felt, how he wanted to stay in it forever. and when he slid out, you were shocked to immediately feel his fingers sliding in. your back arched, a cry slipping from you. " j-john please I cant" you cried, your legs arching. but he didnt stop. his fingers curled, hitting your g spot each time. his thumb found your clit again, rubbing it in small circles. " sounds so hot baby.. but I know you can. this is what happens to sluts. if you act like on im gonna treat you like one."

again, you began to spasm around his fingers, tears officially puling from your eyes as your stomach cramped up at yet another orgasm. to be honest, John hadn't realized how crazy he was going on you. he didnt know why you teasing him and jerking him off under the table was what set him off. maybe it was because he wanted to match your energy. but he had begun to take it to far when he again, slid his dick back inside your cunt. you were surprised he wasn't just as tired as you were or overstimulated. but he did just give himself a decent break.

" you look so fucked out baby.. are you tired?" he pouted, his hips moving slowly, giving you somewhat of a break. you nodded, wiping your watery eyes. finally, he was going to give you a break and maybe just stop all together. but no. all he did was lean back into your neck, leaving another hickey followed with a bite mark, ramming his hips back into yours. "John please" you cried, shaking your head, pressing your hands to his stomach and shoving him back.

his hand shoved yours off him, his other hand going to your neck. " I said take what I fucking give you, didnt I? stop fucking moving." at this point your pussy was sore, it hurt. you didnt even think you could cum anymore. and the grip on your throat was painful. tears fell from your eyes once you realized you had to use the now word he had promised neither of you would ever have to use. ever.

"s-strawberry.. please strawberry!" you sobbed, hands pressing onto his abdomen. at first he didnt think he heard you right. he slowed down, his face softening. "what?" he looked down at you, watching at the tears ran downpour face. he noticed, really noticed, the bite marks, the hickies covered with blood. he slid out immediately, sitting down and pulling your limp body onto his lap. " im so sorry.. im so so sorry." he whispered, pulling you into his arms.

but you couldnt stop crying. you didnt know if he was being genuine, if he found it hot. you were in the mindset that he was going to just flip you over and fuck you all over. but he didnt. he held you tight, whispering how sorry he was in your ear, how wrong he was for going so overboard. " i.. I broke a promise. and im so sorry my love. I should've listened to you." he said, pulling you off his chest. he wiped the tears from your eyes, his chest hurting as he looked at your red eyes. "please let me take care of you. for real." he said, taking your hand in his.

he stood, holding you in his arms and made his way to the bathroom. "im gonna set you on the toilet for a bit.." he said, sitting you gently. he started the bath before turning back to you, lifting your dress off you. when the bath was full, he helped you inside, watching you settle in. it was silent, kinda awkward. he didnt know what to say other than he was sorry. and he was. he'd never had to do this before, but he knew that he had to take care of you as best he could.

"look up for me princess." he said, cupping your chin softly. he grabbed the washcloth that hung on the rack, wetting it a bit before gently wiping your face. you eyes met his, giving you a small smile. " your so pretty." he mumbled, wiping your chin before dipping the washcloth back in the warm water. "thank you." you said softly, looking down. he continued to wipe your face before moving down to your neck. " this may hurt.. but I promise ill be as gentle as I can." he said before pressing the cloth to your neck.

you winced at the pain, squeezing your eyes shut. " im sorry my love.. just a bit more." he said softly, patting your skin softly. when it was done, he looked at the bloody cloth, sighing, shaking his head to himself. to say he was angry at himself or disappointed, that would be an understatement. he promised himself and you he'd never hurt you. " im so sorry my love.. I dont know what came over me." he said, head hanging low.

you reached over the tub and gripped his hand. " lets just watch movies and cuddle.. maybe even get some tea." you said, voice still hoarse from earlier. he didnt look at you at first, his eyes still stuck to the ground. but when you squeezed his hand again, he looked at you and nodded. " ill take care of you princess. dont you worry."

and he did. the rest of the night he was like your personal little maid. you needed to go pee? dont even think about using your legs, he'd carry you. you wanted the blanket? he'd tuck you in like a burrito. you got too hot? okay he'd take it off. he ordered your favorite food to the house since cooking was not his strong suit, ice cream on the side as well. he felt happy being able to take care of you like he told himself he would always do instead of hurting you.

when you were tired, you curled into his chest, snuggling into him. he looked down and smiled, his hand resting on top of your head. for the first time that night he had let himself cry. well not cry, but a few tears did drop. he was so grateful that you were as forgiving as you were. how even though he hurt you as bad as he did, you still felt safe in his arms, comfortable.

he kissed the top of your head, switched the tv off and laid back. " goodnight princess, I love you so much." he whispered before holding you in his arms, his grip on you never getting loose.

| this was pure fucking filth but like... I love this man so much I can help but right filthy filthy smut about him, also this was for @grqpegrqve |

[widowmaxff]

In overwhelmed, it mentions that Y/N used to be in a dark hole and how Wanda is afraid she’d go back to it. Can you write about it? Like what happened?

hope ur ok

pairings: mom!wanda × daughter!reader (platonic)

warnings: depressed reader, cryingg, bad thoughts, and sad sad things

a/n: okay how did you pay so much attention to what i wrote in overwhelmed bc i didnt even remember writing that 😭 BUT THANK YOU for the request i literally just ramble what was in my head but hope you like it love!

HOW YOU CAN HELP PALESTINE!

You don't know when it started, much less why it started. Maybe a few days ago, a month ago, maybe a year ago the signs that something was wrong started to appear. It was almost as if these feelings were always there, just hidden by a layer that was slowly removed and made everything more difficult. It seemed like there were days when you could easily deal with it, maybe ignoring it or just hiding it very well, you didn't know. But there were days that were more difficult. It was more difficult to get out of bed, your appetite was barely there, you didn't want to leave your room, just stay in darkness and total silence. Even though this silence made your head spin, it was better than anyone talking and making you even more depressed.

If someone asked the people closest to you if you were sensitive, you were sure that more than half of them would say no. They would talk about how you had a frozen heart, that you didn't cry when you watched a sad movie, that you didn't fall in love with the character when watching or reading a novel, that you didn't care when someone was fighting with you. But deep down, you knew it was a lie. You felt hard feelings most of the time, including when watching sad films. Maybe you just don't like showing the sadness and emptiness you feel. It makes you feel weak, worthless, and selfish, especially selfish. You shouldn't feel this way, not when you had the perfect life: a loving mother, food on the table, new clothes, and expensive sneakers. Then why?

You didn't really care that you felt depressed, you knew that eventually it would pass, just like every other time - even if that feeling came back some time later, even worse. It wasn't like anyone noticed and said anything to you, even though you were sure most of the adults around you blamed it on teenage hormones when they saw you sulking or just isolating yourself in your room all day. Maybe a few questions like 'are you okay?', even though they knew you would respond with something positive even if everything was falling apart. But there was always someone. Someone who knew that it wasn't just teenage hormones but something that was slowly consuming you. Wanda, your mother, was that someone, and she certainly didn't let those details slip.

The first time you actually showed that you were in a depressing state was on a random Thursday at six-thirty in the morning. Wanda didn't mind much in the first moments when you refused to get out of bed, it was normal for any teenager to not be able to stand school. But when you finally decided to show up for the morning in the Compound's kitchen, she was surprised. You had big black bags under your eyes that were tired and red, looking like you hadn't slept well that night and maybe you had been crying most of it. Wanda didn't take long to ask if something had happened and if you were okay, only receiving a murmur of something like ‘'m fine' before turning back to look at the emptiness of space. Tony who was nearby joked “Maybe the red eyes are because of something she used. Don't tell me you snuck out to a party, Mini Maximoff?”, you'd laugh on any other day, even replying something like 'Yes, I did some hard drugs at a party. How do you know?', but that wasn't the case. Stark laughed to himself after saying that sentence but soon the sound of his voice disappeared when he realized that you hadn't heard him and, apparently, nothing around you.

The second time was right after a mission Wanda had done. It was only three days away from you and everything seemed different when she came back. The first thing she noticed was that you didn't run into her arms when she stepped inside the Compound, much less respond to the messages she sent you a few hours earlier. Obviously like a worried mother she went after you, not taking long to find you in your room with all the lights off, two blankets around your body and how it looked like the things in your room had been in the same place since your mother left for the mission. She turned on the light in your room, hearing a soft growl leave your lips. You were awake and conscious, so it didn't make sense for you to want to be lying down and almost sinking into your mattress at four o'clock in the afternoon. She remembered when you were little and couldn't sleep if at least one light wasn't on, now it was ironic to think that you just lived in the darkness and emptiness of your room without fear that some monster would catch you, because no monster could hurt you like depression was.

Wanda couldn't count how many more episodes like those happened and lasted for several days. She was worried, very worried. She was afraid that you would end up doing something that would hurt you, end everything. It was obvious that your mother tried to ask you what was wrong, how she could help you, but you always said that you just woke up on the wrong foot that morning and that everything was fine. Of course, how were you going to tell her what was happening if you didn't even know. There was no reason for you to feel down like that and not even the absurd desire to just want to close your eyes and not open them again. And every day that passed, this dark hole you were in would get deeper and deeper. You knew you needed to ask for help before it was too late. 

It was no longer strange when once again that week you had no will to live. You look at the clock next to your bed and realize that your mother would be coming to your room to call you for another day in two minutes and a few seconds. Just the thought of 'one more day' made you want to throw up the food you didn't even eat the day before, as that empty feeling made your hunger go away. But as much as vomiting, you wanted to cry, cry until you couldn't take it anymore. And it was no surprise when the tears started to fall and you couldn't stop. Even though you are not a loud person, trying to keep yourself in your own bubble, the sobs wanted to get out of your throat anyway.

“Darling?” Wanda didn't mind knocking on your bedroom door in the morning, since you would be sleeping, well, not at that moment. When she heard the choking sounds you were making to keep from crying, she didn't take long to run towards your body on the bed and get under your covers, pressing you against her chest giving the perfect comfort to let you know that you weren't alone. “Oh, my love.” Wanda has seen you cry, many, many times, but it was so different to see you cry as if you were drowning in a sea and needed help from someone, anyone. “It's okay, Mama is here.” With each passing minute it seemed like the tears were getting even bigger than before, but you tried to focus on Wanda's heartbeat as you placed your hand on her chest, making you feel calmer despite all the panic. 

The lullaby that starts to leave her lips and go straight to your ear makes you start paying attention to the soft melody and not your terrible thoughts. The language Wanda sang in, Sokovian, was not understood by you, but you still remembered when she sang you to sleep on the days you had nightmares. It was as if Wanda was using her magic to calm you down, even though you knew she would never use her powers on you without your permission, but her voice was so sweet that it was more powerful than any of her red magic. Your breathing becomes soft and your movements slow, as if you were choosing the right words to get rid of that moment, but with your mother there it was almost impossible to lie.

“I wanna get help,” You murmur for just her to hear, despite there being no one else in the room with you two. “b-but I don’t even know why I’m like this.” Your crying had stopped, but you still choked to say a few words. Admitting those words out loud seemed like a challenge for you, and when you said them, a weight seemed to lift off your back despite not having yet deciphered all your feelings. And Wanda knew that. She knew how hard you were to avoid looking like a weak person even if you weren't, even if asking for help wasn't a sign of weakness but rather of improvement.

Your mother kisses your head, taking a few seconds before cupping your face and looking at it. “I'm so proud of you, my angel.” You didn't see pity or lies in the expression on her face. You didn't see disappointment and much less as if you were a problem for her. “I'm glad you want to ask for help, and I'm here for it, yeah?” You felt a little guilty when you saw a tear come out of your mother's eyes, but she was still smiling. The same smile you saw when you woke up, or when you told her some good news, or even when you told her a joke. Wanda never wanted you to feel anything negative about her. She never took out any frustration on you, never made you feel bad when you got a bad grade at school, or when you accidentally knocked a glass on the floor. “I will help you with whatever you need, my love. It will be slow, but I promise that the tightness in your chest will pass, okay?”

“I trust you.” She nods before pulling you into a hug that she knew you needed more than anything at that moment. The process would take a long time until you felt well again, you both knew that, but it was never too late. It's never too late to ask for help, because it's normal to need someone to pull you out of the dark hole sometimes, it's normal to not feel good all the time. Having feelings is normal, even if sometimes they are too deep, or too shallow. You just needed to realize that you were never alone, that people around care about you and will always want the best for you. 

“I love you so much. Always remember that.”

“I love you too, Mama.”

[sturnioz]

its 9 pm so its not late night but erm 😞

toxic!matt and reader who is just the sweetest person ever who hook up once or twice and text a bunch, reader is so bold over text and matt LIVES for it bc he thinks ur a rlly good lay n u got some good pussy n shit yk? the two of u just love hanging out and everything,, until reader wants to have a relationship with matt, and hes all 'nah, told u i dont do relationships remember? i got other hoes LMAO' over text with u and u dont understand why ur upset because hes told u this multiple times whenever u guys were hanging out or after sex. the next time u guys hang out ur kinda distant from him and the whole group, and when he texts u 'come over?' (which normally you'd agree to) and ur just 'no not tonight' and then hes like 'ok dont come crying to me when im fucking another one of my bitches tho' and again u dont get why ur upset. matt is kinda disappointed tho yk?? bcs secretly ur his favorite and he'd js never admit that EVER. next time u two hang out he catches on and pulls u aside to ask 'yo what the fuck is wrong with u?? you've been acting so different what the fuck' and u js brush it off. hes all stubborn n shit tho so he keeps persisting, where u snap at him and hes all 'theres my girl' with a little grin on his face. he invites u over (for sex at first), but when u get over there ur tired and upset because u found a bra and some perfume that WASNT urs laying around matts room to which he just shrugged. patting the spot next to him on his bed, he could just TELL something was wrong again and kept trying to force it out of you before you just started crying after getting all annoyed and snapping at him and starting to leave because ur sick and tired. he doesn't get WHY ur crying but he does keep quiet and drag you into his chest after a bit of manhandling since u were half way out the door when he finally does something, he ends up stroking ur hair and shushing u while u sob into his chest even as the reason ur crying is because of him. he didnt even get to fuck tonight but he like cant find it in himself to care, and hes all '??????' in his head because why wasnt he upset?

— 🕸️

this is so long and im so tired but i HAD to get this out of my head mweheheh sorry if like most of this doesnt make ANY sense im exhausted (its only 9) 😞

toxic!matt makes me want to rip my hair out of my skull but toxic!matt is also lowkey a fave..... i love this angst shit. i was so invested because i genuinely got upset that it ended LMAO

[orcelito]

perhaps also related to the fact that i am scheduled to close this weekend with the person who was apparently laughing about how a year ago there was a supervisor chat without me Specifically for the purpose of shit talking me

and im supposed to treat her graciously after that? get Fucking real.

[fatesmono]

valentines day with yoongi

✮⋆˙ warning : some language + i haven’t written in half a year so.

✮⋆˙ this is an “x reader” so yk insert gender <3

✮⋆˙a.n : so todays valentine’s day (its the 13th at 11:59 posting this, great job me :3). so happy valentines i guess. i’m spending it celebrating jaehyun's birthday and writing abt my husband who’s in the war. i haven’t written in like, six years (six months) so pls go easy on me 

✮⋆˙enjoy loves <3333 happy valentines day !!

i never liked valentine’s day. it was always a stupid ass holiday if i do say so myself. am i saying that bc i never had a good valentine ? …maybe so, why are you so nosy ?? anyways, that was before i met him, min yoongi. i never met a man who says he hates a holiday so much but also goes all out for it. our first valentines last year i expected him to not really get me anything or like a bouquet of flowers since it wasn’t that much…i got a bouquet alright, like seven of them (he had said he didn’t know which one i would like so he just got me all of the ones he thought i would want), plus a shit ton of chocolate and just little things like one of his hoodies and this ring i had been eyeing for like months beforehand. so much for “valentines day isn’t really my thing” right ? all men do is lie, even min yoongi.

okay but anyways, here we are now, a year later. i wanna prove myself this year, i refuse to be out-valentines’d by him, no matter what that takes. now just one problem, he’s rich, i work at a coffee shop. shit, i know right ? but we will make it work i don’t care. 

so have i had this planned out for the last two months like a gta heist ? yes. but i NEED this day to go perfect. did it ? NO. NO IT DIDNT. first the necklace i got him with his name won’t be ready until the 17th, and then the kiss hoodie i was working on for him GETS BLEACHED SPILLED ON HIM, curtesy of our cat, johnny, and then; if it wasn’t going awful anyway, the cupcakes i made for him burned. and i’m going to his studio as we speak…this is my thirteenth reason. so right now all we have is his favorite flowers, a bleached hoodie with my kisses and a book of poems i wrote for him, sigh. SIGH. and if it didn’t help, he already gave me half of my gift before he left and it’s ten times better. A ROSE GOLD NECKLACE, he got me a rose gold encrusted with the sun because “i’m the sun to his moon”, he makes me wanna bash my head sometimes from how sweet he is. 

so getting to his studio, the definition of “shaking in my little boots”. i can hear him practicing his music from outside his studio, it’s like walking into beethoven working on smth if beethoven was your 30 year old idol boyfriend for a kpop group, if that makes sense, which is doesn’t so. anyways, i put in the code for his studio (it’s our anniversary, excuse me while i cry.) and quietly walk in to not disturb him, which isn’t that hard since he has tunnel vision as he invented it, and quietly tap his shoulder gently to get his attention. he turns around, taking off his headphones and noticing me with a small smile on his face, which might as well have been a kiss from him then and then. 

“hey love, happy valentine’s day, what are you doing here ?”, god why does he have to have such a perfect voice; it’s like he doesn’t even have to try. i go on to give him to give him his gift and try to explain that i had much more to give him and i knew it wasn’t enough to give and- and he cuts me off. good job if i do say so myself because the yapping i do, i could win a medal. 

“honey honey, this is perfect…you didn’t even have to get me anything, and you wrote me poems…that’s like writing me a song, this means the world to me. you remembered my favorite flowers, and this hoodie..i don’t think i’ve ever gotten a gift like this from anyone before, not even the guys. thank you so much…”, and my heart just turns into a puddle then and there. all my worries gone in a second, how does he do it ? he really should’ve become a therapist in another life, but i guess he does that with his music. but anyways, did i expect him to like the gift ? absolutely not. i did try to pay for dinner that night and he still didn’t let me do it, saying it was “an extra gift” as if i needed anymore gifts. remind me next to try and not outgift a rich idol who’s secret love language is definitely gift giving. 

i’m still getting next years gifts ready anyways. i’m so winning next year, i don't care.

[gwaaaaar]

breaking my silence...

whoever told me the second half of death note was trash... YOURE WRONG YOURE WRONG YOURE WRONGGGGGG 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 MELLO AND NEAR ARE WORTHY SUCCESSORS TO L YOURE JUST A STAN!!!!

near... sweet jesus baby they didnt deserve you !!! I was so pleasantly surprised to see how distinct he was despite people calling him "white haired L". LIKE hes a lot more cautious than L but isn't above being a sarcastic little shit and actively causing problems... i read a fan translation and he uses a lot of cuss words to refer to certain people he dislikes. I dont know if thats in the official translation as well but i do like the visual of this 7 yo saying "asshole" and "dickhead". I know hes 17-18 and this is average teenage behavior but gah hes so cute and moe and make little "vrooooom" noises when playing with his toys... 🥺 cant help but stan. Hes in his zone unbothered...

AND THE FACT HE CHALLENGES LIGHT IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE SO BLATANTLY... no mind games no time for light to make his next move just fuck it we ball. Also very fond of the scene where he drops hundred dollar bills off the SPK building. He's unpredictable just like Mello is but in a different way and its fascinating i love this guy. Also enjoy the fact that his flavor of justice is that he doesnt really have one hes just doing his job. The verbal beatdown he does at the end about how lights just a crazy serial killer... GET HIS ASS NEAR !!! Hes not pretentious and its just... its just good you know? L wasn't very pretentious but he does call himself justice sometimes and stuff along the like(?) Near drops all pretense... cant help but stan

Also really fond that he actually likes mello its just mello doesnt like him... I know canon never explicitly states their relationship with each other, like if its a brotherly relationship or not (altho isnt there some cain and abel parallels??? Not sure). But i really do see a siblinglike relationship between the two. Canon doesnt really put any angst on their relationship bc near doesnt care lolol, but the two do remind me of certain siblings that have a strained relationship because of the pressure put on one of them (or on both. Again fuck wammys house all my homies hate wammys AND WATARI!!! ME WHEN I GET YOU!!!) I really would love to see the two interact... and maybe just be happy by each other/pl. Because god it really terrible to see how much mello hates near and its not even nears fault :,). AND FUCK THE CHOCOLATE BAR HE EATS AT THE END TO HONOR MELLO???? STOPPPP IM GONNA CRY... near the man that you are... they dont deserve you baby...

And smello... mello mello mello... I've heard more positive things about him compared to near bc hes more "interesting" and i can see why people take that angle BUT. God they still undersell him so much??? I feel like hes one of the few characters to have a goal besides catching Kira (or not getting caught) because of his inferiority complex. I do not mean to undersell any of the other characters when i say this because theyre all very complex! They all have their driving goals and the like. Its just that i argue that Mello's is more persistent and that it is not centered around the conflict but rather himself. Even if he caught Kira perhaps he would still never be happy with himself because Near is always "going to be better" because of the shit he went through in wammys. Theres a whole discussion to be had abt the ethics of wammys house... but ill save that for another post wwww.

Mello is also someone that isnt pretentious about his idea of justice bc hes a fucking criminal. (BTW i love the two opposing sides of the successors... one that tries falling within the law but still doesnt give a shit and the other that doesnt give any shits at all and eventually helps the law.) And its so... I LOVE YOU RUTHLESS CHARACTERS I LOVE YOU CHARACTERS THAT STOP AT NOTHING TO GET WHAT THEY WANT.

And the thing is ... Mello does have his own sense of justice because its not as if he sacrifices innocent bystanders to get what he wants he just does what is necessary. LIKE ofc its fucked up that he kidnapped sayu (and traumatized her...), takada (and the stripping... but at least she got a blanket:,) honestly tho id blame that on the misogyny of the authors) and the director of the police im not about to be a mello apologist (yes i am/j). But a. He probably knew no one was going to get hurt in the first place because hes just that damn confident. b. His remorse for matt and soichiros deaths show that he doesnt intend on sacrificing anyone and when things go astray it saddens him a little. And c. THE FACT HE PROBABLY KNEW HE WAS GONNA DIE AND STILL SACRIFICED HIMSELF TO HELP NEAR... near would "win" but mello prioritized putting kira behind bars and while i cant guess his motive, from my end it does seem like in extension he prioritized doing the right thing, which would be to sacrifice his life and pride to help near get the final piece to catch mikami... wow what a man im so deathly ill

After typing all this, i must say... is L really as complex as years of DN fans have said?? I think im about to get crucified for this opinion, but legitimately is he??? I think he is complex most certainly just... maybe not as much as others have said... i might just be missing details about his past + lore from external media so maybe thats why i have this opinion. But i feel like the successors *are* toe to toe with him despite their split screen time... idk tho :3 this is just my thoughts meow

[wannaeatramyeon]

ur stuff is so fun to read!! if its ok w u, could u do a taehoon x reader fic where theyre training together and taehoon goes a little too hard on reader? like reader gets upset bc they didnt expect taehoon to go so rough on them and then taehoon spends the rest of the day trying to make it up to them?? ;w; tysm if u do!! have a good one ★

tysm for reading and requesting anon! OF COURSE I CAN! There's a few requests for if X hurts their S/O or the reader. Y'all wanting that sympathy huh?

Seong Taehoon x Reader: Getting accidentally kicked

You had thought that if you were on the receiving end of a kick or a punch, you would be cursing with at least a handful of expletives on reflex. In a serious fight, preferably the adrenaline would flow and you would be able to give back as good as you got.

You had grossly overestimated yourself.

It turns out that, on the receiving end of one of Taehoon's kicks square in the stomach, it actually hurts so much that you cannot utter a sound, struggle to even catch your breath. Bending over double, collapsing to your knees, praying the waves of nausea will pass.

Strong, calloused hands grip you and hold you steady.

It also turns out that Taehoon cannot shut up. Your boyfriend, the sometimes silent but often offensive and deadly type, rambles on and on after the initial shock.

In hindsight, you're not sure which of you is more surprised at his reaction.

"Why the fuck didn't you block? You stupid dumbass. You should have stopped me. How the hell didn't you see that coming? Are you ok? I didn't know you were so weak. I barely even touched you, dipshit. Did I leave a bruise? Were you even paying attention? I didn't mean to hit you so hard. Are you alright? Ugh we shouldn't be sparring, I was worried this would happen!"

Insults and concern all rolling into one big ball of frustration.

And then the waterworks start. You couldn't help it. The pain and Taehoon being so in your face. It's overwhelming. And honestly? Did it also hurt that bastard to hold back a little.

Taehoon absolutely panics. Sure, he's seen you cry before but not because of him hurting you.

Panic leads to your boyfriend not being able to leave you alone. At all.

You don't know whether it starts annoying you or Taehoon first.

Initially, it was fine. You were the one that got the sympathy attention. You didn't mind Taehoon fulfilling your every whim, asking if you're ok, running around for you.

But then it worsened from you being too lazy to do anything to you being forbidden to do anything.

Worried glances drifting to your stomach and ribs every minute, on the minute. Thinned lips and narrowed eyes when you moved at all. Strong arms holding you back and restraining you with an irritable huff and "I'll do it".

If you weren't allowed to do anything then you might as well do nothing.

Might as well just sit there and sulk.

Where the hell had your little nutjob gone? Why was he replaced by a mother hen incessantly clucking around you?

In the end, it was more pain that broke the tension.

Taehoon, in your opinion, flicks you excessively hard on the forehead. A truce, of sorts.

"I know I'm pissing you off. Be careful next time," he says, leaving you to your own devices.

A non-apology from anyone else, a half-apology because you know him.

So you continue to sit and you continue to sulk, only without the presence of your boyfriend next to you.

It feels surprisingly lonely.

Maybe you were too quick to let your temper get the better of you. After all, Taehoon was just trying to look after you, in his own way. It led to you both butting heads but it's the thought that counts.

If you consider it, what exactly are you complaining about? 'Oh no, my boyfriend wanted to make sure I was ok?' Actually, he was overbearing and a little too much. Still.

You grab your phone and reach out-

Y/N: thanks for looking after me

Taehoon: 👍

A thumbs up is good, a thumbs up means it's fine. You know he has no reservation about outright ignoring you.

And because you really do love and appreciate that asshole-

Y/N: love you

Taehoon: 👍

Not 2 minutes later-

Taehoon: ❤️

Taehoon: 🤡

[inkbagel]

I drew a postcard for my show :) the concert was really amazing I had so much fun. Genuinely one of the best nights of my life.

Idk if people want to avoid spoilers so I’ll put my rants below.

It was so AWESMOEE I have so many thoughts on each and every songgg that was my first concert experience EVER and ohh man it was spectacular

Heathens was SO GOOD LIVE. Was genuinely my favorite part of the show and HEATHENS ISNT EVEN MY FAVORITE!!! like I don’t dislike any of their songs but I have a very long list of favorites and heathens is not in it. However that being said it was spectacular. I had the most fun during that song I think that song was actually made to be played live and not for suicide squad

The transition from heathens to next semester is so so good. I didn’t notice the similarities in those songs until they were back to back. I do really wish they had played all of next semester instead of like. Half the song but it’s okay the rest of the night made up for it

THEY PLAYED GUNS FOR HANDSSS THAT SKNG MEANS SO MUCH TO MEEEE AAAAAAA I almost started crying when I heard the tune it was so so good. That song genuinely like. Made me realize so many things about myself. I’m so glad I got to hear it live

THE TRANSITION. BETWEEN NATN AND HEAVYDIRTYSOUL. NOT EVEN INJECTING IT INTO MY BLOODSTREAM WOULD BE ENOUGH. THAT WAS SO GOOD. GHHSBFBJGKKC i got a recording im so happy

EVERYONE WAS SO NICE DURING TREES!! I saw so many clips from LA and it looked like hell for those two but everyone was really respectful here and Tyler even started picking people around the circle to stand closest to the islands and I thought that was so sweet

FOREST APPEARANCE??? IN 2024?????? I DIDNT THINK THEYD EVER ACKNOWLEDGE RAB AGAIN BUT THEY PLAYED FOREST!!! I’m glad forest has a lot of nostalgia for me

The thing with the lights in mulberry street was so cool. Honestly the whole show was so interactive he kept calling to specific parts of the stadium and had certain people doing certain things I loved it. Tyler really made sure that even the people wayyyy in the back were having fun and that the people in the pit were getting their moneys worth

After the proctologist line Tyler yelled GROSS!!!! Really loudly and I thought that was funny. He then said “you guys are wayy cooler than me. The only difference is I’m on a stage and you’re not you guys are better than me. Anyway we’re taking a photo losers.” I love him

JOSH SANG. LIKE SO MUCH. HE WAS SINGING DURING STRESSED OUT AND HE SANG BANDITO WHILE TYLER SANG PALADIN STRAIT. HES ACTUALLY SO GOOD AT SINGJNG TYLER SHOULD MAKE HIM SING MORE IN THEIR SONGS.

Right before the show started Josh said into the mic WHATS YOUR ETA? TWO MINUTES! And that was really cute

THE CRAVING BACK TO BACK WITH TEAR IN MY HEART I WAS GOING TO CRRYYYYYY AND SCREEAAMAMMMM AAAAA I LOVE THOSE TWO THEYRE SO CUTEEEEEEEBVBB

OVERCOMPENSATE LIVE. HFJSJSJJDK AKAKGKFKDKEJRJFJFJFJFJFJ THAT WAS SO GOODDD. I saw some clips from other shows where he jumped off his piano and caught the microphone mid air and while he didn’t do that here he def made up for it bc that performance was AMAZINGK.

I think he might’ve been feeling a little unwell or smth because he was definitely not as acrobatic as in clips from other nights BUT I DIDNT MIND! HE STILL DID AMAZING ANYWAY and honestly I could NOT be performing like that if I was sick so I think it’s more impressive if he’s actually not doing good. He’s actually insane

HIS GLOWING MICROPHONEEEE ITS SO SILLYYYY

HIS DISAPPEARING TRICK IN CAR RADIO WAS SO COOL. HE WAS KIND OF CLOSE TO WHERE I WAS SITTING AND. HNGNKSKSKF

During vignette he did grab the keyboard and play it on the floor again I’m like 90% certain he knows the fandom thinks he’s a catboy and plays into it. Bc sir. You are NOT beating the cat allegations. Get off the floor and play your keyboard standing up like a REAL MAN /silly I loved that part actually

I actually started crying when he played addict with a pen. It was so good. That song means so much to me.

I got a really good picture during stressed out which speaking of! THE SKELETON HORSE CAROUSEL?????? THAT WAS SO COOL IT WAS LIKE OUT OF A MAGNUS ARCHIVES STATEMENT WHAT DOES IT MEANN ITS SO COOOLLLLLLLLL

I have not put enough Josh Dun appreciation in this post and for that I am truly sorry Josh Dun you were amazing the whole night you were so energetic your backflip was the best part of the night you were awesome

I think I’ve said it before but everyone screaming “our brains are sick but that’s okay” was so surreal. Like wow I’m sitting in a stadium FULL of people and every single one of them treasures this band just as much as I do. Idk man there’s something so amazing about that. It really felt so amazing. I’ve never before felt like I was the same as a whole crowd of people. We’re all going through our own things but we’re all still here. We’re still alive and we’re still fighting. And tonight we’re fighting together. I loved it

Midwest indigo <3 that song was MADE to be played live I got chills it was so good

This post is getting kind of long and I’m tired so I’m ending it with this picture of Clancy with the glowing microphone I drew :) as a first time concert experience the Clancy world tour was life changing and I am never going to be the same person I was before the concert