#MOVING PICTURES PRE/VIEW I. NEW IN BETWEEN

[theofficegallery]

CAROL CHRISTIAN POELL “MOVING PICTURES PRE/VIEW I. NEW IN BETWEEN”

Photography: Antonis Minas for the Office gallery

[lxndonorris]

racing surprise for Lando - Lando Norris (SFS24)

fem!reader x Lando Norris Theme: Smut (you've been warned) in the midst of pre-season testing, Mclaren invited you to surprise Lando x word count: 2710+ taglist: @game-set-canet another edition to the suit fitting saga 2024 (SFS24). Quite similar but I hope you like the added twist. Oh and I needed that picture so dont blame me. Next one will hopefully be este, and if you have any request, for SFS24, testing or simply something else, dont be shy and hit me up!

The air crackles with anticipation as the new season of Formula 1 looms on the horizon, heralding a fresh chapter in Lando Norris's illustrious career as a professional racing driver. With the promise of new gear, a state-of-the-art racing suit, a meticulously crafted helmet, and a gleaming Mclaren race car awaiting him, excitement pulses through his veins like the roar of an engine.

Amidst the flurry of activity in the Mclaren garage, you stand, a silent observer disguised as one of the team members. Dressed in the team's iconic orange shirt, dark pants, a cap, and sporting a headset, you blend seamlessly into the backdrop, your heart aflutter with anticipation as you await Lando's arrival.

He initially invited you himself to join him here, but you had to decline. Unbeknownst to him, his team has already reached out to you, preparing a surprise for your boyfriend. 

And then, like a whirlwind of energy and charisma, he enters the scene. Clad in his new racing suit, adorned with sponsor logos, he cuts a stroking figure. The fabric hugs his form in all the right places, accentuating his athletic build with precision and care. His curly locks framed his face, adding a touch of boyish charm to his rugged allure.

As Lando moves through the garage, his presence commands attention. There is confidence in his stride, a swagger in his step that speaks volumes about his self-assurance. He greets everyone with a warm smile and a handshake; his enthusiasm infectious. There is a genuine camaraderie between them, a sense of unity forged by their shared passion for racing.

With the assistance of two friendly mechanics who shield you from view, you watch as Lando prepares for his testing session. The air is thick with excitement and tension, a tangible buzz of anticipation that electrifies the atmosphere. The scent of his cologne lingers in the air, a subtle reminder of his proximity that sends shivers down your spine.

Each step Lando takes seems to echo purpose, his eyes alight with a belnd of determination and curiosity.

You watch from your vantage point, hidden in plain sight among the team members. As a conversation turns to the upcoming training session, Lando's demeanor shifts slightly. A curious, shy smile played on his lips as he listens closely. With a hand on his hip, he leans in slightly, his posture relaxed yet attentive.

There is a quiet determination in his gaze, a hunger to extract every ounce of potential from the testing session. He understands the importance of these moments, recognizing them as opportunities to fine-tune his skills and familiarize himself with the nuances of the new car.

You can't help but admire the way the fabric hugs his body tightly, emphasizing the curves of his backside and the strength of his arms. His movements are fluid and purposeful, each gesture imbued with quiet confidence.

With each glance, your eyes trace the lines of his suit, lingering on the subtle details that hint at the layers beneath. You know that beneath the sleek exterior lies a network of tight undergarments—fireproofs designed to protect him.

This knowledge adds an extra layer of allure to his already magnetic presence, heightening the intensity of your admiration.

As the conversation draws to a close, Lando offers a grateful nod to his mechanics. With a sense of purpose, he turns his attention toward the track, eager to put their plans into action and unleash the full extent of his talents.

With practiced ease, Lando slips into the remaining racing gear—his gloves and a tight balaclava—each movement deliberate and precise. The helmet, adorned with beautiful colors and logos, completes his ensemble, its glossy surface reflecting the glow of excitement in his eyes.

With a playful twirl, he settles into the driver's seat, his grin widening as he prepares to start testing. With a loud roar, the engine comes to life, and slowly but steadily, he makes his way out of the garage. Your stomach tightens in a mixture of anticipation and pride.

Through the crackle of the radio, his voice rings out, a symphony of exhilaration as he tackles each corner with precision and finesse. You listen intently, your heart swelling with joy as he pushes the limits of his Mclaren. You know he is so happy to be back, and you can actually see him smiling when you close your eyes. His voice is a little rougher, yet it carries his joy and passion through the radio.

Once his session is over, he returns to the garage. As Lando emerges from the cockpit of his Mclaren, he lets out a jubilant cheer with a triumphant flex of his arms. Shaking your head, you can't believe him actually doing that. Licking your lips, you still can't tear your eyes away from his arse, filling his suit fully.

The testing had been a success, and he surpassed all expectations. Running a hand across his chest, he can't help but revel in the rush of adrenaline that still courses through his veins. The fabric of his racing suit clings to him, damp with sweat from the intensity of the session—a sensational sight that you missed during the winter break.

In one swift movement, he reaches up to remove his helmet and balaclava, revealing a mop of tousled curls and a flushed complexion beneath. His lips part slightly with a satsified smirk, a hint of mischief dancing in his eyes as he licks his lips, sending shivers down your spine. He looks so happy and excited, and you smile seeing him like that.

As he moves through the garage, shaking hands with his team members, he can't contain his joy. His tongue darts out playfully, a gesture of exuberance that shows his satisfaction with the achievements so far.

Lando chats with a few mechanics for a while, and you can tell the residual excitement from the testing session continues to surge through his veins, pulsating with every beat of his heart. He keeps stroking his chest, touching his arms, and subconsciously, he touches himself through his suit—just barely, yet it catches your attention. 

It is as if the adrenaline of the track has infused his very being, filling him with an exhilarating energy that seems to amplify with each passing moment.

Entranced by his every move, the sound of his voice, and his cologne's scent still hovering all around you, you miss the opportunity to reveal yourself—Lando has already left for his private quarters.

Leaving your headset and cap behind, you rush after him and spot him strolling through the paddock. Unable to tear your eyes away from him, captivated by the effortless grace with which he moved, you follow him. Every step seems to exude confidence, joy, and self-confidence.

As he runs a hand through his messy curls, you can't help but notice the way his hair fell in disarray, framing his face in a way that is both endearing and alluring. There is a rawness to his appearance—a sense of vulnerability—that makes your heart flutter in your chest.

And then, as if sensing your gaze, he runs a hand across his chest, a subtle gesture that speaks volumes about the excitement still running through his body. You can almost feel the electric energy radiating off him, a tangible reminder of the thrill of driving an F1 car.

In this moment, you are struck by the sheer magnetism of his presence, even though you're just looking at his beautiful back. And as he disappears into his quarters, leaving you to ponder the whirlwind of emitions he had stirred within you, you can't help but feel a sense of awe and admiration.

As you knock on his door, a nervous anticipation grips you, your heart pounding with uncertainty—how is he going to react?

"Coming." Lando's voice echoes through the door before it swings open, revealing your boyfriend standing right in front of you. With an almost shocked expression, your breath catches in your throat.

"Y/N?" He asks, and in an instant, his entire face lit up with a radiant smile that reaches his eyes, filling you with warmth and joy. 

"Hi." You smile shyly, your face flushing with heat. 

Without hesitation, he pulls you into a tight embrace, his arms enveloping you closely. You melt into him, running your hands across his firm back.

"What are you doing here?" Lando smiles, separating himself just enough for his face to be mere inches away from yours. He places a hand on your cheek, tracing your skin with his fingertips.

"Surprising you." You motion for a few Mclaren team members to film the two of you from afar. 

Both of you turn your heads and wave toward the camera. 

"They offered to get me here; we just needed a few clips for their channel." You shrug, and he nods in agreement and curiousity.

"This is great," he leans into you, kissing you gently. You lock eyes with him for what feels like an eternity.

The film crew gives you a thumbs up, telling you that it's now time for some alone time. 

As Lando welcomes you into his private quarters, a rush of excitement surges through you, mingling with the lingering traces of adrenaline from his testing session. Your gaze is drawn irresistibly to the contours of his chest, the fabric of his racing suit accentuating every curve and sinew.

He meets your gaze with a knowing smile, a spark of amusement dancing in his eyes as he senses the admiration and desire in your gaze. There is confidence in his demeanor, a quiet assurance that speaks of his comfort in his own skin.

"So, how was I?" With a playful grin, he steps closer, closing the distance between you until the warmth of his presence envelops you.

"Amazing." You lift your chin slightly, meeting his confidence with your own. "And you look the part too." Smirking, you lick your lips.

Without a word, he takes your hand and guides it to the fabric of his suit, allowing you to feel the sleek material beneath your fingertips.

"I know how much you like this on me," Lando breathes, locking his eyes with your own. However, you're unable to withstand his burning gaze and lower your eyes, following the movements of your hands instead.

As your hand traces the lines of his chest and arms, you can't help but marvel at the strength and resilience that lie beneath the surface. The fabric is cool to the touch, yet it seems to hum with the energy of the track, a tangible reminder of the passion and dedication that fuel his every movement.

"This feels so good." You breathe deeply while you keep stroking his chest, feeling his biceps, and watch his chest move with every breath he takes, eliciting a low rumble of pleasure deep down his throat.

"Fuck," Lando can't hold back a low moan, his hand now following yours closely, his body yearning for so much more. He leans his head back, embracing both of your hands now on his chest.

You know how much he loves to be teased, touched, and stroked. Effortlessly, you push all of his buttons and his most sensitive spots—his nipples, pecs, arms, and most importantly, his member filling his suit.

"Good." You whisper, leaning in to him, tracing the outlines of his stubble just above his lips. A shiver races down your spine, the rough texture of his beard contrasting with the softness of your touch. There is something undeniably alluring about the way his beard frames his lips, adding a touch of raw sensuality to his appearance. 

With each passing moment, the desire to feel the roughness of his stubble against your skin grows stronger—a primal urge that threatens to consume you completely. You lean in, brushing your lips against his in a tender caress. The sensation of his beard against your skin sends waves of pleasure coursing through your body.

With your hand on his crotch, he moans softly against your lips. Lost in the heat of the moment, you surrender yourself to the heady rush of emotions. Your lips meet in a fervent kiss, craving his delicious taste.

"Y/N." Lando murmurs, his hands now steady on your waist, holding you close.

"Care to give me a show?" You bite his lower lip teasingly, causing him to chuckle. "I want to see all of you in that." Tugging at the zipper of his racing suit, you stroke him firmer, encouraging him to show off.

"Of course." He giggles, and you settle onto the sofa, anticipation tingling in the air, thick with the electricity of the moment. With a mischievous glint in his eyes, Lando takes center stage, spreading your legs to make some space. His movements are fluid and confident as he begins his private show.

With each flex of his muscles, his form seems to come alive, the contours of his body highlighted by the sleek fabric of his racing suit. He lets you feel his muscles tense, letting out more guttural growls.

"Very good." You smile, and with a playful smirk dancing on his lips, he turns around, giving you a tantalizing glimpse of his firm back and arse. He bends to show off his butt even more, much to your amusement. 

And then, with a sudden burst of energy, he begins to dance, his movements a mesmerizing combination of grace and athleticism. His hips sway to an invisible rhythm, and his body moves with a natural ease that shows off his innate charisma and confidence.

As he twirls and turns, the fabric of his suit seems to come alive as well, clinging to his form as he moves with effortless grace. With a slow and deliberate motion, he reaches for the zipper, his fingers tracing the line with teasing slowness.

As Lando slowly unzips his suit, his eyes never leave yours; their intensity like a flame igniting the air between you. His gaze is electric, a silnt invitation that sends shivers down your entire back. Hidden beneath his beautiful eyes lies hunger—a raw desire that mirrors the heat pulsating through your veins.

With each inch of fabric that melts away, inch by inch, he reveals the tight garments—a glimpse of the tight fireproofs. Easily, he slips out of the upper half of his suit, giving you a good look at his chest. His defined muscles barely conceiled, he flexes again, straining the fabric even more. 

Lando closes the distance between you until you feel the warmth of his body radiating against your skin. His gaze is never wavering, pulling you so much closer.

"Fuck." You reach for his chest, tracing the tangible outlines of his abs, as he licks his lips. With the sleeves of his suit dangling down his waist, he stands before you, his form outlined against the soft glow of the room, a vision of strength and sensuality that takes your breath away.

In that moment, as you drink in the sight of him, you know you want him. 

You motion for him to sit down right next to you, and right away, you lean in, kissing him passionately.

Lando embraces your body against his, and at the same time, your hand slips underneath his suit. His skin is warm and tight; all of the tension is showing its effect on his body.

"Mhmmm." He purrs into your mouth, one of his hands firmly on his length, bulging against his clothes.

In one swift motion, you manage to get into his pants and pull his member out of his clothes, causing him to moan in agreement.

"That would be so good, Y/N." Fully aware of what you're about to do, you keep kissing him while simultaneously running your hand up and down his length.

With every breath he takes, Lando lets out guttural groans before leaning his head back against the sofa cushions.

Looking into his eyes, you bend down and take him into your mouth. 

"That's what I meant." He swallows hard, running a hand through your hair.

Together, you easily catch up to each other's rhythm, moving as one. His husky, rough voice echoes through your mind as more and more drops of his taste cover your tongue. 

Then, his body gets stiff and rigid, and he holds his breath before letting go of all this tension, pressure, and desire. It feels so good. Letting out a long, breathless moan, he relaxes quickly, leaning back even more. You let go of him, licking your lips to savor the taste.

Lando fondles with himself for a while while you catch your breath.

"This was so good." You sigh deeply before a chuckle leaves your wet lips. He smirks, leans in, and kisses you.

"Thank you for being here." Lando rubs his nose against yours gently.

[13as07]

Desert Lily #3

(Kankuro Sabaku Smut)

[Art work is not mine! Credit to DeoxyDiamond]

Requested by: Myself

Word Count: 3,150

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

I think I'm going to do a part four (yes, it's going to be another smut cause I'm a wh*re)

Also, anytime I read the line "where have you been" (regardless of the context), I read it in Mrs Weasley's voice 

Exhibitionism (public sex)

Humiliation/Degrading/Praising

Color Safe Word System

Bite Marks/Hickies

Choking

Oral/Fingering

Creampie

———————————————————————

Worries and the sound of my breathing ring in my head. Kankuro keeps himself busy, toying with my legs, tugging them open before closing them a bit, just to repeat it. He's worked his way up from mid-thigh to my hip, purple streaks being left against my skin. "Ro?" I call, shaky hands clinging to his shoulders.

"Desert Lily?" He mutters, working his way back down my hip.

"I don't... we can't be caught. That would be... terrible."

Lips stale on my leg, Ro's tongue slithering out to lick at my skin as he thinks. "So?"

"So?!" I repeat, hands jumping to his hair to tug him out from between my legs. "We're not even publicly together. Do you know how terrible of an image that would set me up for? How terrible of an image that would settle you into?"

His head tips to the side, fingers toying with the hem of my skirt. "My pretty lily? What do you think me asking you as my date was?"

"You wanting to spend time with me," I answer, my tone just as confused as my mind is.

A smile cracks across his face before he dips down to brush more kisses into me, this time across my knees. "Of course, that's a correct answer, but it's not the one I was looking for."

"Then what's the answer you're looking for?"

Kankuro's head pops up again as he climbs to his feet. His arms stay under my knees, pushing me onto my back as he moves. "My desert lily," he purrs, shifting himself between my legs, and placing them around his waist before he hovers over me.

His hands crawl up my body, fingers sliding under my bracelets before wrapping around my wrists. His growing hard-on is evident as it presses against me. Kuro hovers over my face, nose tapping against mine as he looks down at me. "Our nation's greatest allies are here. Tonight's events will be in the news for at least the next month. A million pictures of us have been taken. The only way I could make our relationship more public would be if I fucked you on the dinner table instead of in the kitchen. Is that what you need my lily?"

The words brew in my groin, the thought of Kuro so willing to fuck me in front of our nation - his nation's greatest allies makes me tingle. "No," I whisper, tightening my legs around his waist.

"Are you sure? I'll carry you out there. I'll fuck you in front of everyone," he taunts, hands falling to my hips and lifting me.

"Kankuro!"

"Hush," he orders before pressing a kiss to my lips. I'm carried across the kitchen, kisses littered against my lips until I'm set on my feet again.

"Kankuro," I call again, but I'm ignored. He turns me, forcing me to face the door before he pushes it open. "Ro, please don't."

Again, I'm forcefully shifted, tucked to the side of the door with my head turned to the side so I can see out of it. People filter in and out of my view; Hokages, highly regarded shinobis, fellow villages of the Sand, and others I don't know anything about.

Hands rub against my hips as Ro's head settles against mine. "Is this okay? If it's too risky we can go upstairs or wait until another time."

"I... um... I don't want to be caught, Kuro."

He hums, pressing a kiss to my cheek before letting me go. I watch as his fingers rub against the door, blue threads glowing from his fingertips as he pulls away from the wood. The ends of the threads cling to the door as more length spews from his fingers while he moves back toward me.

"Do you know what these are?" He asks, flexing his fingers - and the hued strings - as he settles back in front of me.

"They're your chakra threads, right?" I ask, admiring the glow of them.

"Yes they are, Desert Lily," he says, shifting around so I'm cocooned between his arms and the visible chakra without anything getting tangled. "When I tug on them," he starts, movement following his words. "The door will close. When I push on them," Once again his movements mimic his words, "the door will open."

"That's so cool," I mumble, continuing to admire the chakra. "Can I touch them?"

Kuro hums a yes, an amused smile on his face as he watches me. I reach out, running my fingers over the blue glow. The threads are warm and make my fingers tingle as I touch them. "As long as my threads are connected, no one but me can control the door. Do you still want to wait? We can if you want."

I think over it for a second, continuing to toy with the bands. "You promise you're the only one that can move the door?"

"Yes, my lily."

"And if anyone comes near the kitchen?"

"The door will close instantly," he reassures, shifting the door closed again for good measure. He shifts it back open, exciting me even more.

"I'm fine with it then." My yes is followed by littered kisses across my shoulders and arms around my hips.

"My flower?" I push out a hummed yes, soaking in the feeling of his lips against me. "I want to use this sex system I heard of."

"I need more of an explanation than that."

"So..." Kankuro's cheeks puff out as he thinks over his words. "There's three colors. Green which means all good and you're enjoying it. Yellow is more of a like a slow down or 'I'm not done but something needs to change'. Red is an instant stop. You can call out a color as need be and I'll ask now and again."

"I like that idea," I coo, reaching forward to cup his face and litter it in kisses. I busy my fingers, rubbing his cheeks. "It'll help you know you didn't hurt me and help us communicate as need be."

He stays quiet, soaking in my small touches for a while before he peeps up again. "It's not going to be as needed tonight because... well, I'm not going to be super crazy cause the situation and it being our first, and ya. But it'll be good practice."

I hum in agreement, peppering kisses against his lip before diving in for a deeper one. Hands fall to my hips again, kneading at my flesh as Kankuro's lips brush against mine. "I want to taste you, flower," he murmurs against my mouth. "Color?" He teases me a bit, hands starting to hike up my dress.

"Green."

Another smile cracks across his face as he pushes me backward, my spine connecting to the wall. My eyes flicker to the side, taking a quick peek at the people only a couple of feet away.

Ro settles on his knees again, head ducking under the material of my dress. My skirt tumbles down his back, concealing him slightly. Lips brush against my thighs again as fingers toy alongside them, the sizzling from his chakra strands colliding with my skin. My attention focuses outside the door, nervously scanning the partygoers.

Soon teeth sink into my skin, pulling a whimper from my lungs. "Color?" Kankuro asks again, his tongue tracing the bite mark.

"Green."

     More bite marks are littered, Ro toying with the depth of his teeth as his mouth crawls around my legs. His fingertips slide up my hips, snaking under my panties and clinging to the material. He tugs on the material, slowly pulling it down my legs before settling them around my knees. "Color?"

"Green," I breathe out, anticipation creeping from my core. My legs shift, squeezing Kuro as he inches his way up my legs again, teasing me with his slow pace. "Kankuro?"

     "Lily?"

     "You're teasing, that's not very nice."

     "I know," he chuckles out, kissing my stomach before a long slow lick slithers through my folds. "I like it when you squirm."

After the mocking sentence is out, Kankuro's tongue plunges into me, instantly starting to thrust the muscle in and out. "Ro," I mutter, settling my hands on his head.

My eyes flicker out the door, scanning the room of people again. Before I can stop it, my hips are thrust forward, grinding myself against Kuro's face.

     He chuckles at me, tongue swirling around my clit before his lips latch around it. One of his hands falls down my leg, poking at my hole as his mouth focuses on my clit. It's a weird mix of pleasure and electric energy sizzling off his chakra threads. "Color?" He mutters against me, two fingers sliding into me.

"Green. So green," I answer, back arching as my eyes flutter away from the door, settling on the imprint of Kankuro under my dress. His fingers pound into me, kisses and lick being littered over my clit and thighs. "Ro," I mutter, tugging up my skirt.

Once the material is balled up, exposing my lovely suitor, I'm met with dark eyes staring up at me and beyond speared face paint. "Desert Lily?" He calls back, eyes staying locked on me as he continues to play me, fingers sinking in and out, and tongue lapping me up.

"Please?" Is all I can manage to push out, eyes repeatedly flickering from the door's opening to Kuro wrapped up between my legs.

"Please what?" He pushes, pulling his fingers out of me before he climbs to his feet. Kuro's hands slide up my slides, keeping my skirt up and pussy exposed. "What do you want, my pretty lily?"

The words stick in my throat as I cling to his arms, nails digging into his bicep as I try to pull him closer. "Please?"

"Please what?" Kankuro repeats hips pressed against mine as his hands fall from me. "Please fuck you? Is that what you want? Do you want me to fill you up with everyone ten paces away?" His hands are busy as he degrades me, undoing his pants and tugging himself out of his boxers.

The words sink into my core, dragging even more arousal down with them. "Color?" The word comes out soft, Kuro's focus intense as he scans my face.

"Green," I whisper, eyes falling to his dick. His hand is slow as he pumps himself, the tip pink and screaming to be shoved into me.

"Okay, good," he mutters, shifting against me. His penis settles between my folds, hands gripping my knees before picking me up. I'm pressed against the wall, legs around his torso and my own hands sliding up to his shoulders.

"You are gorgeous," Kankuro mutters against my neck, littering soft kisses against my skin.

"You are handsome," I echo, leaning down to litter his face in kisses.

He smiles at me, a hand loosening on me to line himself up to me. His tip pokes in, settling there as his now free hand slithers up my neck, fingers sliding under the gold chain dangling around my neck. Slowly his grip increases, gently cutting off my air flow.

"Yellow," I mutter, when his grip becomes a little too tight.

Kankuro's head lifts, eyes locked on me as he loosens his hold a bit. "Color?"

"Green."

"Good," he mutters, head lowering again as he sinks into me. His pace is slow, making sure I feel every inch of him as he bottoms out. "You are perfect," he mutters, hand pulsing, hold tightening before going back to the approved grip.

Kuro settles in me for a second, letting me soak in the feeling of him. It's nice, having him wrapped around me and having him buried deep. "I'm going to move now," he whispers, the pace still slow as he pulls out.

It stays like this, slow and soft, and not enough for me. "Lord Sabaku," I tease, trying to sink him into me faster by tightening my legs around him. "Please move faster."

His head flips up, eyes locked on mine as he stills. "If you want to act big and official, I'll fuck you out there," he warns, hand sliding further up so his fingers can cling to my jaw. He shifts my head to the side, forcing me to look at the Sand Village's visitors again.

"Is that what you want?" He asks, giving in to my requests. His thrusts are faster but still shallow, his dick being pulled out almost as soon as it tips back in. "Do you want all our allies to see me destroy you?"

"Will it make you fuck me like a Lord instead of a civilian?" I ask, testing Kankuro as much as he's testing me.

He chuckles, the noise coming out deeper than his normal laugh. "Oh, so Miss Civilian thinks she knows everything, huh?" Kuro asks, once again giving in to my request. His thrusts are deep and fast, fully stretching me every time. "Do you know what it's like to be fucked by a Lord? Have you messed around with a Lord before?"

"No," I mutter, heart pounding as someone shifts closer to the kitchen.

"Oh, then you just want to be lusted after by them then? Is that what you want? Was your whiney little 'please don't' just a ploy?" Kankuro's head shifts back down, sucking on the skin of my neck as he speaks. His tongue slithers out repeatedly, attacking the skin of my throat that pokes out between his fingers. "You want to be fucked in front of everyone, don't you? Is that what you want? For everyone to watch as you fall apart on your Lord's dick?"

"No," I hiss out, breath heavy from the constant pressure on my neck. I clinging to his shoulders and tugging myself closer to him.

Despite my plea of difference, I clench around him from the thought, which doesn't go unnoticed by the shinoboi. "Ya? Maybe tell your body, Lily, because it seems to like that idea." Teeth sink into my neck, clinging to my already bruised skin as Kankuro continues to pound me.

The mix of Ro's mouth clinging to me, his chakra threads buzzing against my skin, and his dick nonstop pounding me breaks me. "Kankuro," I hiss, nails clinging to his shoulders and head falling to hang against him. "My lord," I mutter as I come on done on him, my juices flowing down my thighs.

"Yes, Desert Lily?" He purrs into my ear, his thrusts slow but still deep as he chases his high. "You are beautiful," Kuro mutters the hand around my neck loosening but staying put as I try to catch my breath. "You are excellent," he continues to praise, burying himself in me.

Despite his hips being still, I feel him twitch before warm slowly bubbles into me. "Did you...?"

"Ya," he huffs out, still clinging to me as he tries to catch his breath. The room falls quiet, the soft mix of our breathing and the sounds from the party filtering in. "Color?" He mutters, lazy kisses tracing the recently made bruises.

"Yellow."

"Why?" He asks, head lifting to look at me again, this time softer.

"Because you finished in me, Kankuro," I hiss, looking at him in disbelief. I swear this man is so lucky I like him despite how dumb he can be. "Are you trying to get me pregnant?"

A huge smile cracks across his face as he chuckles silently. "I mean, my main thought was how warm and snug you felt around my cock but if you did end up pregnant it would be good grounds to marry you sooner."

"Kankuro!" I gasp, empty anger sizzling in my words as I tap the side of his head.

"I'm kidding, Lily," he says, a cocky smile still on his face, letting me know he is not kidding. "Let's straighten you up before Temari notices we're gone and flips her lid."

————————————

"Where have you been?" A very angry Temari asks through clenched teeth.

"We went on a walk," Kuro answers, shrugging his shoulders as he continues to usher me back into the ballroom.

"Ya? Ya?" My suitor's older sister asks, a sarcastic smile on her face as she shakes her head. "Last time I checked, going on a walk doesn't require you to reapply your face paint," she hisses, smearing one of the newly applied lines on Ro's face for good measure.

Our clean-up was rushed and half-done. Kuro rushed me up the stairs to remove our smeared paint and reapply it. Since it wasn't very detail-oriented, purple smears still coat my hidden legs and Ro settled on piling on more gold chains to hide the old and new bruises decorating my neck. The chains are heavy but a lot less time-consuming than the design that's smeared and hidden under the new jewelry.

     "If people - like you - would stop smearing it maybe I wouldn't have to keep reapplying it," Kuro snaps back, rolling his eyes at his older sister.

     "I swear Kankuro, if there's a new scandal because of you-"

     "Oh my lord, Temari. Chill. It's a long event, my makeup is going to get smeared, so I'm going to reapply it," Ro rants, his fingers lacing with mine before his thumb rubs circles into my hand. The soft touches soak away my anxiety, making me feel a bit better. Maybe Temari doesn't know as much as she's pretty to know.

     His sister glances between us, glaring deep in her face before huffs. "Fine. Don't disappear again though. It looks bad on the Village."

     "Ya, ya, ya," he mumbles, rolling his eyes at his sister again. Ro's sight settles on me for a second. His head shakes, a cocky smile on his face as he looks away from me. "Scandalous," he teases, glancing at me again before looking away.

     "Says the guy smiling ear to ear," I shoot back, my smile crawling on my face.

     "My pretty little lily?" I hum a yes, scanning the partygoers. Lord Fifth seems to have found a puppy while we were gone. A blonde boy with whiskers is chatting his ear off as Gaara nods his head, attention intensely on the boy. "I think you should come over tomorrow."

     "To do what?"

     "Take a wild guess," he says, tugging me in front of him. Arms fall around my hips, tugging me against Kankuro who's very obviously ready for round two.

     "Oh," I utter, heat crawling up my face, making the face paint seem even heavier against my skin.

     "We'll get dinner too, but I'm going to have my dessert first," he teases, rubbing circles into my hips and pawing at my thighs.

"I don't know how you have so much stamina."

"Because I'm a good shinobi, duh. I can't have my Desert Lily being panned after by a lousy ninja."

——————————————————————

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[starshine-wagner]

Kodak Moment

Pairing: Danny Wagner x Reader

Summary: You decide to document a special moment during drum practice with Danny.

Word Count: 1,200

Warnings: swearing, slightly suggestive content

A/N: This is a re-upload to move it from my old blog to my current blog.

"Dammit," Danny huffed. He slammed one of the drumsticks down onto the snare and took a deep breath, stretching his fingers. He'd been trying a new bit on his Age of Machine line, but just couldn't seem to get the beat right. The two of you had been there for the better part of an hour.

"If I'm being honest, I didn't notice that it was o-" you started, but Danny cut you off.

"I did," he bit back, "And Jake did last night. And Josh will be up my ass about it soon enough."

You knew enough not to be too hurt by Danny's reply. It wasn't that he was frustrated with you. He was just a bit too hard on himself, sometimes. With a sigh, you sat up from your spot on the ground next to Danny and wandered around the stage while he continued practicing.

You paid a visit to Sammy's little Plato statue. You thought it was endearing that he kept a little buddy to keep him company on stage. He told you the story of how he got the figurine sometime last year, but, if you were being honest, you hadn't totally been listening.

It was before Danny and you had been dating and, with Danny sitting across the room, you had no chance at really hearing what Sammy had to say. Between stealing yearning glances at his best friend and feeling the butterflies flutter in your stomach, it truly was a lost cause.

You dragged your fingers across the keys, noticing that the stagehands had already set Sammy's his incense for the night. He'd been trying different scents lately, but, after a sniff, you determined that you weren't too fond of the one he'd picked for tonight. It was too musky for your taste.

Being on the stage was like taking a little peek into Danny's mind. You enjoyed watching him in his element, especially up close. Of course, during a show, you'd never be able to really see what it was like. But, during these little pre-show sessions, you could at least get a taste. Looking out into the empty seats, you felt a pit in your stomach and were immediately brought back to your 3rd grade piano recital. With a shudder, you turned back to Danny.

Just then, he let out an animalistic yell and, at first, you couldn't tell if it was good or bad.

"Let's fucking GO!" he shouted. You raised your eyebrows to him in silent questioning. "That one was damn near perfect," he nodded. Running up behind him, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. That's when your eye caught it. One of the disposable cameras the fans so oddly loved.

The guys had really gotten into the whole disposable camera trend this tour. You thought it was a little silly, considering they all had cameras with 10x better quality in their pockets at (almost) all times. But, they enjoyed messing around with them. They'd always be sure to have one on stage on the off chance that Josh decided to fool around during one of Danny's drum solos. And, of course, the fans went wild anytime he'd take pictures on stage.

You quickly released Danny from your hold and skipped to the front of his drum stage to reach down and grab the camera.

"Think Josh will mind?" you asked, lifting the camera into his view.

"It's fine. But what for, baby?"

You spun the gear on top of the camera until it was locked and loaded, and then aimed the lens at Danny, just as he was checking to see a notification on his phone. Probably Jake checking in. The flash went off and he whipped his head back up to you.

"You didn't tell me to pose!"

"I didn't want to! It's to commemorate you getting that part just now. That way, the next time you doubt yourself I can make you remember," you said with an all-knowing smile.

"Gimme that," he said, reaching his arm out to you from across the kit. He was glistening with sweat, but you don't think the camera captured it well. It couldn't ever really capture his beauty.

He turned the knob and aimed the lens at your face just as you went to pull a stupid grin.

"Absolutely perfect," he murmured. Once more, you came around to his side and tapped his thigh, letting him know that you wanted a seat. He spread his legs open just enough so that you could sit and face him.

"You know, they really should make these stools bigger," you thought.

"Well I don't think the manufacturers are typically envisioning more than one person on the seat, Y/N."

"Touché" you responded, kissing his breastbone. When you pulled your head back up, his thumb caressed your cheekbone while his other hand held you securely on his lap.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," he frowned. "I shouldn't be short with you when you're just trying to love me."

"Thank you, Danny. You know I understand, but you're forgiven." Now it was your turn to admire his cheekbones. You had already helped him paint a pair of small triangles under his eyes in preparation for tonight's show. Though you admired your work, you admired his natural beauty even more. "You're a pretty boy, you know..." you reminded him.

"Yeah?" he smirked. "Pretty?"

"Very pretty," you murmured just before you moved to take his lips in yours. His hand moved down from your face and wrapped around your neck, applying only the slightest bit of pressure. He went to move it down further when you let out the smallest, barely-noticeable moan at his gesture. He rethought his decision and decided he liked holding your neck best. Your hand made its way onto his for just a moment before you had a bright idea.

Not breaking the kiss, you reached behind your back to grab the disposable Danny had placed on the snare. Silently winding it up, you stretched your arm out. Before he recognized what was happening, you'd snapped a photo of your little heated moment. Danny, once again surprised by your photography, pulled back.

"I don't think this is quite what they were envisioning when they coined the phrase 'Kodak moment', babe," he said, chuckling.

"Well," you started, running your hands down his chest, "I was thinking earlier. Sammy has his little tokens on his stage. Josh has his props. And Jake... well, Jake is too busy playing with his eyes closed to see anything else. But, you don't have anything personal with you on stage. Nothing to keep you, like, grounded."

He listened intently, his eyes still glancing at your lips, clearly wanting to get back to business. "So, once we get this developed, maybe you can keep it with you. You know, I can tape it to one of your stands or something..." you trailed off. The more you spoke, the more self-conscious you became.

Danny was silent for a few beats before his gaze met yours through his eyelashes.

"I mean..." you braced yourself for a pang of rejection. Maybe he didn't want to have that kind of thing with him at work. The right side of his mouth twitched up as he continued, "I mean, I think we can do a little better than that, yeah?"

Oh. Oh. The self-conscious knot in your stomach turned into something... else.

And so, back to business you went. The two of you made very good use of the next few minutes and the last few exposures on that roll of film.

Josh didn't need that camera anyway.

[edupunkn00b]

Meus ex Machina, Ch. 2: Mad Lads

Edited public domain image of two hands reaching for each other, lit in deep blue and neon green

Prev - Mad Lads - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

WC: 2238 - Rated: T - CW: swearing

2090, Concord, MA, USA

“So what do you think?” Janus stood in the middle of the parlor, arms outstretched and a crooked grin painting his face. 

Patton turned on the spot and took in the decrepit, once-great great room. Thin, grey sunlight streamed through cracks and gaps in the walls and ceiling, the tangled wisteria from the front yard winding its way inside and up what was left of the crumbling staircase. The stubborn vines and deceptively bright purple flowers seemed to push their way through the old wooden structure, seeking the dripping water or shelter from the summer’s heat.

Or merely just nature imitating humanity, stretching out every which way it could reach, choking out anything in its path. 

“Pat?” Janus’ voice was quieter and his smile had shrunk. 

“Sorry, Jan. My…” He pressed a smile onto his face and attempted to banish his dour spiral. Fingers waggling on either side of his temples, he shrugged. “Thoughts ran away from me.”

One eyebrow raised, Janus gripped his shoulder. “I could tell.”

“So could I!” A cheerful voice boomed from upstairs and Patton shook his head, a sudden lightness in his chest.

“Stop listening in!” he laughed and looked at the old house with fresh eyes. “It’s got… potential,” Patton grinned at Janus. “How much of this do you think we can keep and how much is—”

As though to test its sturdiness, Janus had pushed against the nearest wall. The ceiling groaned and with a crack, another section fell.

Patton ran to Janus, one hand on his shoulder, the other catching a soggy wooden beam before it landed on his head.

“Hey, we’ve got a new skylight!” a too-happy voice called from the upper floors, clearer now.

“You could ask if we’re alright, you know!” Patton started to snap, but he couldn’t seem to hold on to his annoyance. Janus noticed and glanced between him and the fresh hole in the ceiling.

“I could tell you were fine,” he snarked back, voice thinning as though he moved further away. “Oh! There’s another level!”

Patton took a deep breath, ready to call him back down, but realized he was still holding the beam. Letting out a low sigh, he lowered it to the floor and released Janus’ shoulder. “We’ve got our work cut out for us, don’t we?” He wasn’t just talking about the renovations.

“Don’t we always?” Janus chuckled. He patted his hand and nodded, gaze following Patton’s. “We’ll need to rebuild, for sure. At the very least we’ll need to rip out all the old wiring and plumbing. And this wood was never designed for this kind of climate.” He scrunched his nose at the high water line that reached taller than his waist from over a decade of pre-levy flooding.

“But even with the repairs, it’s a steal,” Patton nodded, tilting his head as he peered through a big picture window out at the forest surrounding the antique house-turned museum. 

“New Boston needs the money. Relocating a million coastal residents didn’t come cheap.”

Reaching up over his head, Patton frowned and traced the ghostly outline of what had probably once been wall-to-wall bookcases. “I don’t suppose the government wants to remind people of what was lost in the Purge, either.”

“Why learn from the past when you can erase it?” Janus clasped his shoulder and Patton leaned in to his oldest friend’s grip. “So is that a yes?”

“Holy fuck, Pat!” An excited voice boomed through the house and their minds. “You gotta see the view from the attic!”

“Language, Kiddo!” Patton called back, laughter tinting his voice. “Sure sounds like a yes from him!” Sighing happily, he looked around the musty space and nodded before hooking his arm through Janus’. “From me, too.”

“Excellent,” Janus murmured. “I already signed the papers.”

“Of course you did.” Laughing again, Patton followed Janus up the rickety old stairs to see the view for themselves.

~

2105, New Boston, USA

Logan had to duck to get through even the larger doorway, and he tried not to think too hard about how the near bow felt like they’d wanted him to somehow prostrate himself as he entered their holy space. He straightened as soon as he was through, breathing in relief at the open layout. From the outside, the first level appeared to only reach about 8 feet, just slightly too short for him to move comfortably in his suit.

He stretched his arms up. These ceilings were at least fifteen feet high.

“We’ll need to make a room for you on this level,” Silvertongue murmured, watching his examination. “At least for when you’re in your mecha.”

His eyes followed the walls, searching for staircases and he frowned. There was no leaving this floor if he couldn’t go in his suit.

“There are three elevators large enough for your suit and your chair.” Golden eyes looked back at him.

“Don’t do that,” Logan snapped.

Silvertongue smiled and held out his hands, palms up. “I wasn’t reading you, simply a lucky guess.”

Belatedly realizing his arms still reached toward the ceiling, he began to lower them.

“No need to drop them just yet,” that strange layered voice said. The sound seemed to come from everywhere at once and Logan spun around, searching for the source.

“Now Kiddos,” a softer voice said, seemingly out of thin air. “That’s no way to treat our guest.”

“A guest is allowed to leave,” Logan scowled, stepping back until his hand brushed the doorframe. He turned to look. The seam was smooth, no knob or lever in sight, just another of those flat palm print panels. “I appear to be your prisoner.”

“Drop the Illusion, Prince,” Silvertongue said, sounding almost bored. Easy for him, he likely could see right through it.

A tall, muscled man, the closest Logan had ever seen to a comic book superhero appeared inches from his face. “Fine.” Logan’s hand jerked at the controls and the arms of his mech stuttered down and the man—Prince?—jumped back. “Watch it!”

“You scared him, Ro, that’s all,” the softer voice said, patting his shoulder. Nearly as tall as the Prince, his shoulders were even broader, and thick muscles slid and bunched beneath his fuzzy blue sweater. His face was round and soft, topped with curly golden hair peppered with silver strands and a bushy beard to match. He reminded Logan of a teddy bear. A giant teddy bear, but…“You didn’t mean any harm, right?” He met Logan’s eyes with an almost paternal smile.

“Only if he did,” Logan mumbled. “He shouldn’t—” A flash of purple moved from his left to his right and back again before stopping at the Prince’s other side.

“He’s unarmed,” the fourth man said, tapping at a small device. “All except for the damn Esper blocker.” He looked up at Logan, bright purple eyes practically glowing. Logan remembered him from the DC. Ultraviolet. “How’d you make that thing, anyway? It’s supposed to be impossible for Powerle—”

The one in blue cleared his throat and Ultraviolet nodded. “For Traditionals.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Logan snapped. Ultraviolet and Prince bristled, stepping closer to him.

“Logan—” Silvertongue began.

“Okay, Kiddos.” The one in blue stepped between them. “Let’s settle down.” He offered his hand to Logan, smiling. “I made some food for us. Why don’t you two”— he looked to the Prince and Ultraviolet—“bring in the trays from the kitchen?”

“Alright, Padre,” the Prince said, glaring at Logan over his shoulder even as he followed the other’s instructions.

“Call us if you need us,” Ultraviolet muttered, loudly, then looked pointedly at Silvertongue as they had some sort of silent conversation.

The blue fuzzy one waited for them to leave before turning again to Logan. “I’m The Bear, but you can call me Patton, if you prefer.” He smiled carefully, glancing quickly at Silvertongue as he adjusted the furniture, widening the spaces between them. He squeezed his mech’s hand, the servos’ feedback telling Logan just how strong he was. “What can I call you?”

“I’m Machina,” Logan said, fighting the stupid impulse to tell this strange soft ball of muscle to call him by his first name.

“Machina,” he repeated with another smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He touched the panel behind Logan and the door slid open. “And no, you’re not a prisoner here. V will need to add your palm print to the locks but in the meantime, any of us will open any door you want.” Silvertongue made a little sound and Patton’s eyes flicked over to his before returning to Logan’s.

“I see you brought your chair.” He nodded at the folded chair attached to his side. “How would you be most comfortable while you eat?”

“I…” Logan eyed the unfamiliar space. His muscles had grown stiff from the cramped space inside the cavity of the old picker bot but in his chair… In his chair he was defenseless. “I prefer to stay like this,” he said, unstrapping the chair but setting it in the corner, still folded.

Patton nodded, watching his eyes. “If—when—you wish to change…” He smiled and led him over to the seating area. “Simply let us know what you need.”

“After some introductions and…” Silvertongue met Patton’s eyes and nodded. “Some ground rules, I’ll take you to your personal space.”

“Padre’s spent all day preparing your room,” the Prince muttered from the doorway. “When he wasn’t—” He cut himself off and set down a large tray of glasses and a giant pitcher of bright blue electrolyte solution. Ultraviolet followed, bearing a tray of… cookies?

Smiling, Patton picked up two of the cookies, a wave of warm butter and chocolate scent filling the air. As everyone sat around the oval table, Logan set the mech to crouch on the floor, bringing him nearly to eye-level with the Prince and Patton, the tallest of the group. Patton handed him one of the cookies with a soft cloth napkin, passing them both through the opening at what had once been the top of the picker bot’s thorax.

“Does that work for you?” he grinned before taking a bite of his own.

“Yes,” he murmured. “Thank you… Patton.” The cookie was soft, still warm, the chocolate chips a little gooey against his fingertips. His stomach rumbled as he took a slow sniff. If it was audible through the suit, no-one said anything, though Silvertongue’s gaze seemed to linger on him as everyone settled. He forced himself to take a slow bite and looked around the group as he chewed.

Patton busied himself with passing around cookies and pouring drinks as though it was any other storybook family, nudging Ultraviolet’s elbows until he moved them off the table and smiling indulgently at the Prince when he took three cookies. Silvertongue didn’t speak, or rather, he was quiet, but the way some of the others would suddenly go silent and look his way led Logan to believe the group was having a full conversation, simply one he couldn’t hear.

“You should know, Machina,” Silvertongue began, nodding vaguely at Patton. “There was some disagreement over whether to bring you here.” The Prince’s steely glare left little doubt who had been most opposed to his arrival. “But in the end, we determined it was safest for all of us”—Silvertongue’s eyes went round the table, lingering longest on the Prince’s—“that you join our group.”

Ultraviolet crossed his arms and watched him from the corner of his eye but said nothing. Logan turned to Silvertongue. “You said at my cabin—the cabin—that an attempted murderer would ‘fit in just fine.’” He swallowed and held his chin high as he looked around the table, hoping he looked braver than he felt. “Which one of you’s tried to kill someone?”

The Prince and Ultraviolet raised their hands at the same time. Logan saw movement to his left and Silvertongue’s hand was raised as well. His eyes widened. “You?” he whispered.

“All of us, Kiddo,” Patton said softly next to him, lowering his raised hand to pat his mech’s arm.

“Oh,” he breathed.

“‘Tried’ is a strong word,” Silvertongue murmured, passing him a cup. 

Logan looked down at his crumb-covered fingers, nothing but the flavor of his cookie left. He accepted the cup and listened.

“We have more in common than it may at first appear. In fact—Dammit!” he swore when a strip of orange lights flashed along the ceiling. 

“Hesper!” Patton nodded, leaping to his feet. 

Silvertongue gripped his shoulders and stared into his eyes. “Logan, stay here,” he said, then tapped the nearest table leg. A spiraling staircase opened up next to him and The Prince ran down.

“V,” Patton ordered, and took Logan’s cup. “Get his handprint in. We can’t leave him here locked up.”

“Wha—What’s hesper? I… I can help!” he protested, but Ultraviolet grabbed his hand and pressed it against that same small device. He tried to pull away but the other’s grip was too tight. “Let me come with you!”

“It’s not safe.” Silvertongue shook his head. “We won’t be long. Is he in?” he asked Ultraviolet.

“Everywhere?” he asked, frowning down at the screen.

“Do you have time to differentiate?”

“No,” he muttered. “Fine. He’s in.” Ultraviolet glared at him with eyes hot enough to burn. “If you fuck anything up, I’ll know it’s you,” he said, shaking the tablet before it disappeared into his suit. “Don’t make me regret this,” he hissed, then followed Patton down the stairs.

“Make yourself at home,” Silvertongue said. “We’ll be back in a few hours.”

-

@sandersidesbigbang

[inkedinfantasy]

a comm for @emmyselch! some bittersweet pre-dying gasp moments between emet-selch and her OC Lou 💔

He supposed he should have anticipated she would be restless tonight of all nights. Short on time but in dire need of a proper rest, the Warrior of Light and his Scions were spending one last night with the Ondo before finally setting foot in Amaurot. And of course, wherever they went, Lou would follow. He would expect nothing less of her.

Damn it all, he’d tried. None could deny that he’d tried not to care, to maintain the detachment his mission demanded of him. To his credit, it was usually far easier than this. He could not recall when he had last willingly spent so much time with any of these sundered souls, let alone one so singular and familiar. It had allowed hope—and even more disastrously, affection—to take root, worming its way into the cracks of his heart to bloom into something new and so dangerously fragile.

Hemera always did have that effect on him.

But she was not Hemera, not truly. Lou was but a fraction of their soul, who still managed to be as reckless and exasperating and wonderful as they were, certainly, but time and distance from the world that was had still changed plenty. Contemplating her, he saw someone with whom Hemera would surely be great friends, but he could no longer reconcile them into the same person.

And the more time that passed, the less he found he minded.

She was alone when he approached her, sitting perched on a high shelf of rock above the Ondo settlement and staring out at the distant lights of Amaurot. Creation only knew how she’d managed to scale the steep cliffs to make it up there.

She looked over but did not move to stand as he neared. She was plainly full of nervous energy, her fingers drumming restlessly on her folded arms as she sat.

“A sleepless night, so close to the end of your journey? One must consider you either exceptionally eager or exceptionally foolish.”

“I’ve a lot on my mind, as you can well imagine.” She attempted a smile, weak and strained, before looking back out over the city. From here, they had a clear view of the sweeping spires of Amaurot stretched out in the distance. The sight of his phantom city was beautiful and eerie and heartbreaking all at once.

“It looks so much larger, even since the last time you brought me here,” she murmured, gazing out at the vast expanse of towering buildings and small, glowing lights. “Like it goes on forever. Just how much of it did you remake?”

“Not even near the whole of it. Amaurot was the beating heart of the known world.”

She was silent for a moment, lost in thought. “I haven’t told them anything, you know. About the city. About coming here.”

Truly? That she had kept her time in Amaurot a secret was unexpected, and more than a little gratifying. “Such trust you choose to place in me.”

“I…it’s complicated.” She shifted in place, avoiding his gaze. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but we want to understand. We want to know what you’ve hidden down here. What makes you think this is the only way.” She hesitated, and then, a touch softer, more vulnerable: “I want to know.” Her eyes finally met his, a flush painting her face at the admission.

Knowing would not be enough. It never had been. She would not be satisfied until she had seen the true fate of the unsundered world for herself.

He thought of his dark, empty recreation of Amaurot populated with ghosts, pictured terror and death, the skies raining down fire, monsters carving through everything in their path. Was this the source of the line she drew between them, that he had watched his world burning alive before his eyes while she watched hers die slowly, by inches? Were she in his place, would she truly not do anything she possibly could?

That question had been answered once before, and he wasn’t prepared to hear the answer again.

“No,” he said, his tone far gentler than he’d intended. “I would not show you that, not tonight.”

Silence fell between them, the weight of “not tonight” almost tangible. Tomorrow would be a different story, and one that would be coming to an end.

He considered staying silent, bidding her goodnight and retreating back to the city to await their coming. He disregarded that consideration almost as quickly as it occurred to him. Neither of them were under any illusions as to what would happen when the Scions arrived in Amaurot. In some bitter irony, fate once again saw fit to set their stubbornness and convictions against each other.

The least he could do was make sure they got a proper goodbye this time.

“If you’re unable to take your rest, there’s no sense in wasting the evening. I don’t suppose you’d let me steal you away for the night?”

It had the tone of a lighthearted invitation, one he’d made several times before, but he could see in her searching look that she knew exactly what he was offering. A final night together, one last adventure before they met as enemies.

She knew this, and still she stood, taking his outstretched hand. “Yes.”

With a warp and hum of aether, they vanished.

* * *

They reappeared in the middle of a park, a wide expanse of green tucked in among the towering buildings at the heart of the city. It had been the first part of the city to come to mind when he’d thought of places Lou might like.

She would have enjoyed it in its prime, at least. Like most parts of the city, the park was noticeably underpopulated, missing the liveliness of a real piece of nature that existed even in the midst of a city such as this. The dim murk of the deep sea did it no favors either, creating the impression of a dull, overcast day.

“If you should wish to explore, you should see it in its best light.” He raised his hand, and snapped.

In the dark gloom beneath the waves, he conjured a small bubble of springtime. The park brightened under the warmth of an artificial sun’s glow, spilling over the vibrant green of the grass. A few patches of flowers bloomed, lazily waving in a gentle breeze. The soft, illusory chirr and buzz of insects and distant birdsong surrounded them in an instant, completing his small pocket of life in the bones of the ghostly city.

She turned slowly in place, taking the whole scene in, her grin bright and awestruck. “This is…it feels so alive. Is this more creation magic, then?”

“Not quite,” he said. “A trifling illusion, to capture a perfect day.”

It was an excessive, entirely frivolous use of magic, especially with their final confrontation yet to be had. But damn it all, did they not deserve this moment of peace? In that moment, it felt more than worth it, if it would keep her smiling.

“How far does this reach?” she asked.

“As far as the park does. Restored in its entirety, if only for the moment.”

She turned that bright smile on him. “Well then, we’d best get a move on, hadn’t we?” She took hold of his hand, and he followed as she led him further into the park.

They wound their way aimlessly through their private spring day, guided by whatever caught Lou’s eye. She was utterly captivated, fussing over all the unfamiliar plants they passed, speculating out loud to herself about what species they might have been a precursor to. She took a particular interest in an aromatic flowering shrub growing in picturesque rows along the border of the park land.

“Reminds me of the sage that grows wild in Lakeland. We’d pick it to cook with or dry or sell, and it always took ages to get the smell off my hands.” She smiled, lost in some fond memory as she reached out almost absently to pluck a leaf off the small shrub. Her fingers passed through the illusory plant, the leaf dissolving back into a wisp of aether in her hand. Her smile faltered ever so slightly, taking on a melancholy edge before melting into a yawn. “I—forgive me. I must be more tired than I thought. But there’s still so much more I want to see.”

Knowing her, she would drive herself to exhaustion exploring the city if she could. Surely, he could come up with some sort of compromise.

He considered bringing her to a recreation of Hemera’s home, and discarded the idea for several reasons. First and foremost, he could not recall what state he’d left it in last he’d visited, or if it currently existed in any form at all, for that matter. He must have destroyed, reshaped, and remade it a thousand times over at this point, frustration and grief and the terrifying slow decay of his recollection warring within him and leaving him unsatisfied by every vision he conjured up.

More personally, he’d realized that he did not want to place her against the backdrop of Hemera’s life. There was somewhere else he could bring her, somewhere just as intimate that no other living soul had ever seen.

“I believe I’ve just the place to show you,” he said.

She took his hand again without hesitation. “Lead the way, then.” He opened another portal, and they vanished once more.

* * *

When they rematerialized, he didn’t say anything at first, merely watching as Lou looked around, taking in the room they’d appeared in with a puzzled furrow to her expression.

“This looks like someone’s home.” She looked at him, the obvious question in her eyes.

“It is,” he said. “It’s mine.”

He heard her small, sharp intake of breath clearly in the silence. His home had been the very first thing he’d ever recreated. Even on her first trip to Amaurot, he hadn’t brought her here. The idea of showing her this place had still been too raw, too personal, for all he had already been far closer to her than he’d ever intended to be.

“Is this where you go when you’re not—” She made a vague gesture to indicate whatever it was she imagined he did when he wasn’t following them around, “—or is this where you lived…before?

“Both, I suppose. It is where I tend to spend my time while in Amaurot and a recreation of my former home.”

Our former home lingered unsaid in his mind as he played back days waking up here and being able to believe, if only briefly, that everything was as it should be, that any moment he’d hear Hemera talking far too loudly for the early hour or Hythlodaeus’s laugh from the kitchen. On days like that, the moment after he remembered, the empty truth of the place had been more than he could stand.

Right now, that silence was filled by Lou’s commentary as she explored.

Her attention had been captured by the gaudy, multicolored lamp sitting on one of his end tables. The style of of it was entirely at odds with the sleek, uniformly Amaurotine look of the room itself. “So what’s the story here?” she asked.

“That was a gift from Azem—Hemera. A token from their travels, handmade by an artisan as thanks for diverting a flood that threatened his hometown. Or so they said. I wouldn’t be surprised if they bought it for next to nothing from some tacky shop and concocted a story to convince me not to throw it away the first chance I got.”

Even as he spoke of ridding himself of the thing, he could not keep a hint of fondness from his voice. Lou had gone quiet as he’d recounted the story, her eyes on him and a pensive expression on her face.

“What?”

She hesitated. “I don’t—it would only ruin things. This night has been wonderful, and I don’t want to say something awful and spoil it all.”

“I’d be curious to know what you’re thinking that’s apparently so terrible.”

She exhaled a small sound that was more breath than laughter. “Of course you would be.” She cast another glance at the lamp before relenting. “Maybe you’re right and I’ll never be able to understand, not fully. But I can see why you love this place so much. I can see why you would do anything to save it. Wicked white, I’m set out to do the same thing, aren’t I?” She let out a small, watery laugh. “Can I really begrudge you for fighting for the world that’s yours?”

“Ours,” he insisted fiercely. “All of this is yours, too.”

“Maybe it was, once. But I’m not that person anymore, and I can’t—I’m so sorry. The world that was…so much of what I remember about it is beautiful. But I can’t give up this world for it. I won’t. This is my home, and I love it, and I have a promise to keep. I just wish it didn’t mean losing this.”

The words poured out of her now, a flood of emotion she couldn’t seem to hold back. “You’ve showed me so much more of the world than I ever could’ve imagined. You’ve done so much for Tai-Rinn, and I don’t think I could ever express how grateful I am for that. And that’s not even the whole of it. I—” She cut herself off, her hands at her sides clenching in to fists as she squeezed her eyes shut. A moment passed, and she let out a slow breath, her shoulders slumping slightly before continuing in a quieter tone. “We knew each other before, didn’t we?”

It was the question he had been hoping for from the moment he’d first glimpsed the color of her soul, and still it near knocked the breath out of him. His silence said more than enough.

“I just—I keep remembering things, these bits and pieces. And…I think most of them are about you.” She swallowed nervously. “I care about you so much. But I can only tell you that as myself. If that makes a difference, we can forget I ever brought this up, but…I know I’d regret not telling you when I had the chance, nevertheless.”

He took a step closer to her. “You’re not Hemera. Anyone who knew them could see that. It was you I wanted to bring here.”

“Emet-Selch, I—”

“Hades.”

She blinked. “What?”

“I have been known by my title, by other faces, for countless lifetimes. I would have you call me by my name.”

They had inched slowly closer together as they were speaking, close enough now to touch. She reached out to him tentatively, one hand coming up to gently cup his face.

“Hades,” she murmured.

He leaned in and kissed her.

She responded readily, her other arm sliding around his waist even as he pulled her closer. She was so warm, and that tender, fragile thing growing through the cracks of his heart bloomed like a flower that had been aching to drink in the light.

Even as she broke the kiss, she did not withdraw, merely tightening her embrace as she buried her face in his shoulder. They said nothing, just holding each other for a long moment.

He shifted when he could feel her starting to lean a touch too heavily against him, exhaustion finally beginning to catch up to her. “You need to get some rest.”

She hummed vaguely, the sound muffled against his coat. He stepped back, keeping a steadying grip on her arms as she stumbled slightly before righting herself as he led her down the hall.

The bed in his room was neatly made and looked as though it had never been slept in, so long had it been since he’d last made use of it. Lou paid the state of it no mind, barely pausing to kick off her shoes before flopping down face first with a sigh. She turned her head just enough for one blue eye to peer drowsily up at him from the pillow.

“Will you stay?” she asked, already sounding half asleep.

He sat on the edge of the bed, taking her hand where it lay between them and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “Yes.”

He held onto her hand, thumb brushing over the back of it, and she was asleep in minutes.

* * *

There was no change in the light to mark the passage of time, of course, but that mattered little. The Warrior of Light’s approach was the only timetable that mattered now, and his arrival was impossible to miss. The searing flare of his light-poisoned aether blazing into view at the outskirts of his perception marked the only living soul in his sight, save the one still sleeping in his bed.

Well then. It seemed he had a choice to make.

The noble course of action would be to wake Lou and and return her to her companions as discreetly as possible before retreating to await the Warrior’s challenge. A challenge that, should she return, would inevitably involve Lou.

Regardless of what the Warrior and his Scions might think, it was not as if he took some particular joy in the thought of dispatching them, though neither would he relent. It was his duty, a dispassionate necessity to facilitate the restoration of his world. Their world, he thought, glancing down at Lou. Returning her would mean pitting her against that duty, and the distinct possibility of seeing her killed.

In that moment, he made his decision.

Across his countless lifetimes, he’d found nobility to be quite overrated, anyway.

Rising as carefully as he could from the bedside, he quietly exited his home. Just outside, he passed a hand over the door, a powerful magical seal flaring to life.

She would be furious. She might never forgive him. But she would be alive.

Without looking back, he opened a portal and vanished.

[torihakaraublog]

Cookie Run Witch's Castle Review pt.1/3

I had totally forgot this game was coming out till I accidently clicked on the reward chart in CRK and apparently I pre-registered :0

I get super frustrated/absorbed with block braking games so don't typically play them, but since I really wanted the CRK rewards I decided to grind through ch.1 to get the rewards (please note as of writing this the CRK prize event is over) then delete the game (still need to do xD). I've only played a little bit of Oven Break so keep that in mind character knowledge/lore wise.

Story

Off the start the little introduction animation was amazing. Loved the puppet like vibe! This game also seems to take place between CROB and BRK? Basically the witch is baking cookies to eat.

Then when Gingerbrave wakes up in the oven the animation turns to the more familiar cookie run style. Gingerbrave escapes the oven...

In the walls he meets Witchberry cookie who shows him the window, but refuses to help. She is such the embodiment of a cat. Purple cat with magic powers is just *chefs kiss*.

The next cookie we meet is Gingerbright. She teaches us about the importance of life potions. Gingerbright is...really unnerving lol feels like she has hidden intentions. Gingerbrave is so positive and onboard to making new friends even if they are a bit sus! If you don't take a life potion you become stale *horrified gasp* (Gingerbright thinks it wouldn't be too bad...)

I just saved this screenshot cause I like the talking door xD reminds me of Gandalf.

Strawberry and Wizard cookie are up next. Wizard cookie is so sassy/sarcastic in this. Bro got stuck in a chest and said he wasn't stuck just not ready to come out lmao Strawberry is best girl. This 'room' generates life potions and some other rooms produce gems and soul stones.

Will talk a bit more about this in pt.2 but there is a boss battle against the witches cat where Gingerdozer appears (dozer like sleeping I'm guessing?) They are suspiciously interested in the witch. Very SUS.

Chapter 1 ends with the characters leaving the tower where the window can be seen because they smell something good and are hungry. A cookie dressed in white watches them from the window.

The story moves at a pretty good pace I think and its not too hard to complete most levels without boosts (of course it helps a lot to have boosts if you mess up). Lots of bonus prizes can be won by doing things such as competing to complete a certain amount of levels first against other players. However, there is A LOT to unlock and stars can only be required through playing levels which makes it a bit tiring.

Game Play

I pulled a pretty good cookie (vampire cookie) right off the bat from the gacha, his special skill helped a lot to progress through levels quicker.

The gacha has two sections 'basic' and 'season'. Basic can be achieved with tickets - get these as rewards quite often. Or with 1,000 coins. Not too bad a price I think as you do get a lot of coins in game. Season can only be rolled with special purple coins. I'm not really sure how these are acquired. Each pull costs 100 of these special coins and after completing chapter 1 I only had 90 of them.

When you roll in the basic gacha three dice appear. The pictures on the dice match up with the 5 images above + there is a bonus dice/roll image. Each image you roll gets added to the edge of the boxes above. When a box is 'full' you get to spill a wheel for that type of prize.

Furniture items can be used to decorate empty rooms. There is also cookie specific rooms you can decorate. If you get items for a specific cookie you have to wait till you get that cookie to place the item.

Not 100% sure how mole shipping works? Think you complete missions then can send packages?

A lot of the functions are the same as CRK - changing name, icon, season pass, etc.

Everything you complete can be viewed in collection + prizes are redeemed there for completing stuff.

You don't have to unlock sections to play more levels. Just click the yellow triangle in bottom right to play more levels. Prize unlocking on sections will be shown with a single star with a number beside it or a present box with a star above it (not pictured).

Story sections are shown with a book + star with number beside it. (shown below)

Hopefully that all made sense lol In the next part I will talk about game levels.

[jellyfishloveletterghosts]

Kurt’s World, Billy’s Plan

The start of a Billy/Steve/Kurt thing I never planned to write but nothing else was coming today when I tried to work on stuff. Steve and Kurt are twins in this au.

Warnings for: Camboy Kurt, Masturbation, discussion of incest and noncon.

Billy moves through the cam channels looking for someone to catch his fancy. No one has quite met the mark. He pauses on a long dark haired man for half a moment almost interested until he starts rambling about orcs and elves. Billy does not mind that sort of thing but it is not what he is looking for tonight.

He clicks on another channel, intrigued by the shitty photo, half a blurry photo with a sunset from behind casting them in shadow. It is a terrible profile pic for a cam boy, not sexy or enticing and yet Billy still clicks.

Kurt is dark haired, mole spotted, pale skin with a face that would be handsome if he did something with his hair and didn't look so greasy. Billy isn't impressed but he lingers a moment he's one of a few in the room. Someone offers Kurt a tip to lick his own pre cum from his fingers and he does it. Most would have charged more than this guy who complained when the used leaves with a passing comment 'Your brother looks better with his fingers in his mouth.'

Kurt huffs, cheeks puffing out like a chipmunk. “I don’t know why you guys don’t appreciate me.” Kurt complains and Billy does not want to listen to him bitch about some sibling rivalry. He is going to shut this off and just go to bed, getting off is not worth this much effort and of course, he picked someone who is fucking annoying, just his luck. “My brother has so many followers and he doesn’t even take his pants off. We look exactly the same!” Billy is suddenly interested again.

Kurt catches his tongue between his teeth, leaning forward a little, hand reaching for his phone as his sweaty bangs fall in his eyes. A picture pop up, a cleaner more preppy version o Kurt, he looks soft, smiling big and waving at something off screen. “We’re twins, everybody loves him even though he’s fucking shallow.” Kurt huffs still staring at his own phone hand moving faster on his cock.

“He’s pretty though, like prettied than me somehow? It doesn’t make any sense but I’ve always thought so. He even sleeps pretty, all soft and stretched out.” Kurt’s mouth drops open, breathing through his mouth as he flips to another picture, another one of his brother, sleeping. The blankets are pulled back, shirt rucked up showing off a treasure trail a little lighter than Kurt’s, more groomed in every way. He has the same moles, the same features but there is something about him, and the wet shine of his lips, like he has been licking them in his sleep that is more appealing than Kurt’s in his desperation to appeal could ever pull off.

Billy is not the only one appreciating the new eye candy but he is the only one bold enough to put an idea forward of what Kurt should do about his pretty boy brother. ‘Maybe you should fuck him.’ Billy types into the chat, he wants to he would fuck Kurt’s pretty little doppelganger but he would also be into watching him get fuck by his twin, it makes his cock leak heavy and wanton.

“I’m not his type. He wouldn’t go for that.” Kurt mutters mouth hanging open, a little drool collecting in the corner as he strokes himself faster. Kurt’s obvious hungry stare, thumb hovering over the pictures with stroking motion like he wants to reach through time and stoke soft skin right now.

‘So what?’ Billy types one handed before abandoning his leaking cock to get the words out quick. He wants to ask what the brothers type is, wonders if he fits the bill but he does not want to derail the conversation. ‘Do you realize how many views that would get you.’ He licks over his teeth, hand dropping back to his cock, pre dripping heavily from it. He loves twin stuff, the taboo making it hotter and if one of them is not fully on board even better.

Kurt frowns, hand abandoning his cock as he sits up fully, face nearly taking up the entire camera. Just a close up of him broken up by another picture of his brother this time one of him with his mouth stretched wide around a toppings filled hotdog “You think people would be into that? Would come watch?” He is thinking about it, certainly up for it Billy just needs to hold his hand to get him there.

‘Absolutely.’ Billy isn’t the only one putting his two cense in now. Kurt may not have many viewers but the few that are hear are in agreement. He should fuck his brother. It helps his case, makes things easier.

Kurt’s face goes through a few easy to read expressions before landing on excitement tainted by disappointment as he admits. “I don’t know how I would do that.” He heaves a heavy sigh as he pushes his bangs out of his face.

It is the opening Billy needs. ‘I could help you.’ He is not the only one volunteering but he is the only one with Kurt’s attention.

Kurt nods to himself and asks “What do you get out of it RatKing?”

Billy grins as he types in what he wants, hoping things do not tip in the wrong direction. ‘I want to fuck your brother too.’ Pretty just the way Billy likes his boys.

Kurt squints at his phone, before lifting his eyes back to the camera, eyes still mostly closed in his suspicion. “I dunno man. I don’t even know you.”

‘Could get to know me, we should hangout. I’m in your area.’

Kurt’s still hesitating not right where Billy wants him yet. “You could be a lame eighty year old perv.”

‘Feel like you’d be into me either way but I’m not. Come on, there’s an event at the hideaway tomorrow. Private thing, I’ll get you into it. If you bring your brother.’ Billy can read the excitement on Kurt’s face, his poker face is lacking.

“The hideaway!” Kurt coughs, clears his throat before lowering his voice to a normal tone. “I hear that place is full of posers.” Kurt scoffs like he is not desperate to be one of them.

‘Don’t you want to find out for yourself?’ Billy smirks, knowing Kurt’s going to accept, to desperate to be liked by the masses to pass up the chance.

-

Part 2

[ccthewriter]

CC's New Watch Ranking - June 2023

Every month on Letterboxd, I make a list of the 10 best films I’ve seen for the first time. It’s a fun way to compare movies separated in time, genre, and country of origin, and helps me keep track of what I’m watching! This is a breakdown of those films.

June! An exhausting month. We wrapped on the movie after a number of 12+ hour days. That, on top of two new jobs that picked up this month, turned June into a stressed mess for me. I spent a lot of time in bed and in the garden, trying to quiet an overstrained brain. For the first time in three years, I have seen only the 10 films on this list this month! That’s why Zaslav felt safe firing all the TCM folks, he knew I was away. But this gives me a chance to discuss some movies I wasn’t crazy about and explore why. There’s something to be learned from every film, even those that don’t please. (I am going to yadda-yadda through some entries, though.)

Click below to read the breakdown! Click HERE to view the list on Letterboxd!

10. Night Moves 

1975- Arthur Penn

Was kind of disappointed that this didn’t move for me as it does for others! It reminded me too much of this schlocky film I watched earlier this year Stick. Stick had Burt Reynolds going to Miami to be a double-agent chauffeur for the mob. Or something. Night Moves had the exact same thing happen? Or something? Maybe that’s on me for not paying better attention. 

I promised myself I would explore why this didn’t capture me. The best I got is that it’s a slow moving mystery centered on a rather boring figure. Next!

9. Bringing Up Baby 

1938 - Howard Hawks

See, I heard about this movie a long time ago. Never in my life did I think the ‘Baby’ in the title was a leopard! This is a fun slapstick comedy about a man who fumbles his hot paleontologist wife for a pathologically lying Katherine Hepburn. I get it, who wouldn’t do the same in that situation, but I was surprised there wasn’t more back and forth between Hepburn and Grant’s fiance. Not quite as charming as another slapstick comedy on this list, but still immensely satisfying. 

Cary Grant in a fluffy nightie? 👀 Reeks of gender.

8. Bend of the River 

1952 - Anthony Mann

The river! It bends! I find myself watching a lot of pre-1955 movies while I’m doing other tasks. Cowboy flicks and noirs make great background noise. Their rhythms and plots can be so predictable that you can fall right back in if you lose attention for a few minutes. This one gripped me, though. My cinematic nemesis James Stewart plays a black hatted cowboy trying to reinvent himself, escorting a group of settlers to their new home in Oregon. The supplies they ordered don’t arrive in time, so before winter sets in he rides to find what happened to them, visiting the den of villainy and sin known as… Portland. It’s very funny to see the city depicted as a town full of drunken gold miners and thieves, when in a century it will be home to queer witches and their burlesques. (Hi Caity <3) Fun plot, a few interesting reversals, and more colonial assumptions than I can typically stand. It’s no McCabe and Mrs. Miller, but if you’re in the mood for a PNW Western, look no further. 

7. Step Brothers 

2008 -  Adam McKay

A movie so culturally dominant that I knew a huge amount of lines without ever having to see it. It was fun! Will Ferrell and John C. Riley have perfect comedic chemistry, and embody this strange energy of 15 year olds trapped in 40 year old bodies perfectly. The entire film works off of their performance. Just like last month’s Face/Off, two actors giving singular, unique performances is all you need to make a memorable picture. 

6. Battling Butler 

1926 - Buster Keaton

It’s Buster Keaton! It was fine. I don’t have any more interesting thoughts on him in this movie than I would have in the next one.

5. The Cameraman

 1928 - Buster Keaton, Edward Sedgwick

Extremely fun. Buster doing a bit of metacommentary on how artists are valued, and the systems they have to engage with in order to find work. Extra satisfying to view amidst the writer’s strike. These studio heads would have nothing without the footage that the people on the ground capture. The Tong War battle at the end is particularly engaging. It’s the sort of Looney Tunes/Roger Rabbit comic energy that I adore, able to float through a conflict without any worry or care. Satisfying, destiny-bound ending. 

4. Once Upon a Time in America 

1984 - Sergio Leone

Now we get to the good stuff. Sergio Leone is synonymous with the Wild West - why is it so surprising that he would take on another classic tale of Americana? A gangster drama, an immigrant story, a distinctly East Coast experience of the twentieth century and the superpower that defined it. Where his cowboy movies focus on the mythic qualities of its protagonists - framed among giant landscapes, attention drawn to their weapons and horses - the protagonists of this film are framed within a series of relationships. It is their association with the people around them, the space between their bodies, that Leone captures so well. It is a promise of genius from a filmmaker whose career ended too early. This is a freewheeling biopic of a Lower East Side urchin who rises up towards the top, intersecting with high levels of power and upheavals in his closest bonds. Framed by an opium dream, not afraid to break free from logic, this is a masterful exploration of a cinematic space from one of our best directors.  

3. Asteroid City

 2023 - Wes Anderson

I feel so lucky to be alive at a time when I can see Wes Anderson movies in theaters. The sheer thrill of this opening sequence…. A black and white TV format exploding into a wide frame, desert-chic phantasmagoria, a MINIATURE TRAIN MODEL title sequence… god. Irreplaceable cinematic moments. It needs a gigantic screen to be really understood. 

I think a lot of the theatre-going experience, of the crowd itself, as I remember this film. It was a great sample audience. A group of teen boys who must have just started their summer break. Several pairs of old women enjoying long-scheduled friend dates. A nuclear family. Me, alone, having made use of the Value Tuesday discounts. ($1 off hot dogs!) The whole crowd laughed throughout the thing - has Anderson ever been this funny? It made me feel a lot of hope, that an audience would take such pleasure in little background beats and quiet humor. Much of movie rhetoric paints The Audience writ-large as a bunch of mindless Marvel fans who need jokes telegraphed from a mile away. How hard the subtle humor hit really made me happy. 

The story itself is something I’m going to have to meditate on. Anderson is working some meta-commentary that can be hard to grasp with only one viewing. I get the sense he’s looking at his own work and his style of directing. He’s famous for his ensembles - it’s a movie about a cast making a play. He’s famous for his invented worlds - we walk backstage and meet a writer-director who literally lives in a set after the performances are done. He’s a director beset by nostalgia for times he never lived - Jeffrey Wright says to a bunch of young geniuses, “Should have picked a better time to be born.” This is why I feel such a thrill, such satisfaction, in being alive while his movies are airing. I get to witness the years, hopefully decades, of discussion that this movie inspires. I think this is already ripe for a “Underappreciated in its time despite being his masterpiece” sort of thing.

2. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse 

2023 - Joaquim Dos Santos, Justin K. Thompson, Kemp Powers

God, what a lovely film to watch. My gushing excitement for this is cut by the recent revelations about its production. I spit on the names of Lord and the names of Miller, I wish them to suffer as they have made others suffer. I think of how beautiful this film is - how every frame is a gorgeous vortex, how you could hit pause at any moment and drink in one billion details that all add up to an incredible whole. I think of the well-crafted story, the nail-biting cliff hanger, the desire I had walking out of the theatre for simply MORE. And I think of how much better this could be if the artists making it were paid more fairly and given more breaks. Look at how beautiful this movie is - IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL IF THE WORKPLACE WAS LESS TOXIC. I reject any narrative about this film that says that, somehow, all the blood sweat and tears made it what it is. No. Absolutely not. This move is what it is because of hundreds of people toiling *despite* the invented hardships. It is so symptomatic of what is wrong in Hollywood, why so many people are striking now. They are being hampered from making their work excel because of these greedy people at the top who project their insecurity  and petty rage all the way down. 

Anyway. I love Miles. I love Gwen. I love all my Spiderfriends. Hope to see them again some day under less toxic circumstances. 

1. What’s Up, Doc? 

1972 - Peter Bogdanovich

I’ve been studying the screwball comedy this year. It’s an oft-used term without a great definition. It’s got romance and laugh, it has some odd personalities… but what else? Does it need an aggressive woman? A reluctant man? Do they need to be thrust together by fate? Do you *have* to have an outstanding ensemble, or does that just happen by coincidence? As I try to pick apart these elements I watch this on a whim one day and see that Peter Bogdanovich has already done all that research and found his answer. Screwball comedy? It looks like this. It’s What’s Up, Doc? 

From the old-Hollywood opening credits that’s a hand turning a book, to the delightful absurdity that is its central premise - what if a spy, a jewel thief, and some dude all had the same luggage? - everything about this is finely tuned to make you laugh. Barbara Streisand is more or less literally playing Bugs Bunny. How amazing is that? There are so many things that will make you well up laughter that I hesitate to try and explain them more. Just watch this incredibly funny, charming movie. I have a private litmus test for how good a movie is. Often I’ll watch stuff with my wife sitting next to me as she plays video games. If a movie drags her attention away from the game and keeps her locked in the whole time, that is a great film. It was that way with this. Highly recommended. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! If you liked any of these thoughts feel free to follow me on Letterboxd, where I post reviews and keep meticulous track of every movie I watch. Look forward to more posts like these next month! 

[everynicorobin]

Demonio Fleur

A couple things I think are interesting about Robin’s Demonio Fleur form (this got long so I’m putting it under a cut): 

The appearance more closely resembles Robin pre-timeskip than post-timeskip. 

The most notable differences between pre-TS and post-TS Robin are: 

- Hair style: Obviously her hair is a little longer now, but it’s also wavier (and appears to be thicker) than it was pre-skip. She also no longer has bangs post-skip. 

A shot of pre-skip Robin, showing her straight hair (chapter 436) 

Versus a shot of her from almost the same angle, post-skip - note that her hair appears to be more in one block shape with sharper shines, as opposed to pre-skip’s soft shines and thinner, less layered look (chapter 700) 

A clear look at her bangs during the separation arc (chapter 593)

Versus post-skip. Note that because her hair isn’t slicked back, we can see clearly that she’s grown out her bangs. (chapter 794)

- Eyes, nose, and face: The shapes of all of these were more sharp and angular pre-skip. Oda started “softening” her features, drawing them more rounded starting in Thriller Bark, but took it to new extremes post-skip, to the point where she looks completely different. 

A closeup of an eye way back in Whiskey Peak (chapter 114). Note the almost diamond shape, the large solid-black pupil surrounded by a small ring of iris, and the lack of visible eyelashes. Compare this to the most common female eye design from pre-skip OP: 

Would you believe me if I told you these were three different girls? The first is Nami (see the full picture from @everynami​), the second Vivi (see the full picture from @everyvivi​), and the third is Conis (see the full picture from the OP wiki). Robin’s narrower eye shape and iris made her stand out from the cast of same-face same-body women. But now look at her post-skip: 

She now has visible eyelashes, her eyes are slightly rounder, her pupil is no longer colored solid black (and it is sometimes colored like a second iris for some reason, with a smaller pupil in the middle), and the iris is slightly wider. “But EveryNicoRobin,” you might say, “her eyes are basically the same shape!” That is true! But! Compare her new eyes to the eyes of the post-skip women: 

Once again, in order these women are Nami from chapter 944, Vivi from the cover of chapter 815, and Conis from the wiki’s image for her manga post-skip look. 

Funny, all of a sudden everyone’s eyes are slightly narrower, making Robin stand out even less! 

Moving on to her nose: 

A large, straight nose with a thick bridge. Excellent! (chapter 114) 

Oops, what happened here? A smaller nose, with a thinner bridge and a slightly more curved look, reminiscent of the classic anime side-view nose! (chapter 909) 

Once again, let’s compare this to the side-view of other noses on women: 

In order, this time it’s Nami from chapter 663, Koala from chapter 904, and Shirahoshi from chapter 906. Not much of a difference here either, huh? 

And now let’s look at her face shape: 

(chapter 114) 

A more rounded jawline (chapter 955) 

Finally, keeping all this in mind, let’s look at her Demonio form: 

First of all, she has her bangs back (!!). Though her hair is pretty much the same length as it is post-skip, it has returned to its straight state, and is no longer wavy except when adhering to the curves of her body. Her eyes appear more angular, even though she retains the thicker iris, the sharp shadows show a strong and sharp nose, and I would argue that even her face shape has become less rounded. 

Robin’s “normal” giant form that she was previously using to fight Black Maria has none of these features, and instead resembles present Robin down to a T (minus the clothes for some godforsaken reason). I think it’s likely that she managed to produce her normal giant form before her Demonio form, which makes it all the more interesting that her Demonio form more closely resembles her pre-TS look, since she probably didn’t develop it until after she had changed her hairstyle. 

My second and final idea is that I think this is Robin awakening her Devil Fruit. 

From what we’ve seen so far, awakened Paramecia fruits can affect the environment around them, eg Law expanding his Room to have any effect he wants, Kid turning anything into a magnet, and Doflamingo turning Dressrosa into strings. But despite that Robin isn’t affecting the environment, she is doing something that her Devil Fruit cannot normally do. Yes, she has produced giant limbs before, but we know that those are made up of thousands of smaller limbs acting as a hive mind - and this simply doesn’t work with a giant form of Robin. She could produce a copy of herself with thousands of hands, but there would be no way to accurately reproduce her eyes or mouth. 

In addition, wings and horns are not something Robin actually has (as far as we know 👀), and their apparent color and texture do not match up with anything on Robin’s normal body. She could maybe make fangs with copies of teeth, but that would be the extent of it. 

Finally, we also know that a user using the awakened form of their Fruit without enough practice tends to become exhausted quickly. Chopper still collapses after using Monster Point for three minutes despite being able to control it, and we saw Kid and Law collapse after fighting Big Mom. Robin, too, fainted after her battle, and we see Brook carrying her in his arms afterwards, presumably for at least 5-10 minutes. 

In conclusion: I just think she’s neat 

[theofficegallery]

CAROL CHRISTIAN POELL “MOVING PICTURES PRE/VIEW I. NEW IN BETWEEN”

Photography: Antonis Minas for the Office gallery

[crowdvscritic]

crowd vs. critic single take // 12 YEARS A SLAVE (2013)

Note: This is a modified version of a review originally written for ZekeFilm. Photo credits: IMDb.com.

In 1841, Solomon Northup (Chiwetel Ejiofor) is a free man making a living as a violinist in New York with his family. But because the claws of American slavery stretch beyond the Mason-Dixon Line, he is kidnapped and sold into forced servitude. For 12 years he is exchanged between different plantations in Louisiana, some masters conflicted about their role in his life (Benedict Cumberbatch) but more of them baleful (Michael Fassbender, Sarah Paulson, Paul Dano). He befriends the laborers beside him like Patsey (Lupita N’yongo) and Eliza (Adepero Oduye), but he never stops looking for opportunities to contact his family and for escape. 

CROWD // I’m not going to lie—12 Years a Slave was the only Best Picture winner I hadn’t seen when the 2010s ended. What’s more embarrassing to admit is why, which, clearly, wasn’t for lack of time. The reason I delayed my viewing six years was because I didn’t think I could hack it. I almost couldn’t finish Schindler’s List—why would force myself through another realistic depiction of brutality only a few generations removed?

If you’ve asked yourself the same question, know that those concerns are not ill-founded. If Tarantino’s stylized violence in Django Unchained made you squeamish, Steve McQueen’s study of the dehumanizing treatment of pre-Civil War slaves won’t gloss over anything to make you more comfortable. Of course, that’s not only warranted, it’s why this film works so well. But because the title tells us the ending, the small sliver of hope sustains us, and we know Northup’s true story will end with him overcoming one of history’s worst adversities.

POPCORN POTENTIAL: 5/10

CRITIC // Everything in 12 Years a Slave is a study of contrasts. Masters hang their slaves in the wild beauty of the Southern forests. Mistresses attack their slaves with expensive china. Overseers taunt their slaves with music to drown out their spirituals. The religious use the Bible as a weapon against the slaves who pray for deliverance. McQueen forces us to sit with these contradictions for long, unbroken shots. We sit and mourn with Solomon with every betrayal, watching and feeling his grief until it becomes our own. As he is moved from auction to house to plantation, his turmoil and those of his fellow victims becomes ours, too. We watch white actors we respect become weakly selfish at best, manically barbaric at worst, so we know why it’s so difficult for Solomon to know whom he can trust. It also reminds us if faces we thought we liked so much could portray such evil, we must be capable of such evil as well. (See Jojo Rabbit for another reminder of that.)

There’s no beauty or redemption in this chapter of America’s story, but the beauty of this film is it restores humanity to the memory of the millions of people who were denied it in their lifetimes. Instead of being grouped together as collective “slaves,” they’re Solomon and Patsey and Eliza and Emily and Robert and Jasper and Anna and Clemens. They have faces and names and families and scars, and 12 Years a Slave finds and shows them better than any movie about American slavery yet.

ARTISTIC TASTE: 10/10

[fourseasonsfigs]

Wolf Warriors - Big Hands Small Hands

This is one of the more unique fig sets I have, because they are posable!

This set was inspired, of course, by the Youku "fakecast" for Word of Honor. This not-really-a-livecast was pre-recorded by Zhang Zhehan and Gong Jun prior to airing on February 23, 2021. We've seen figs from this before here, and we'll see more of them in the future - this is absolutely a gold mine of fig inspiration.

You can watch this English subbed here:

And then part 2 is here:

Alright, I just lost several hours watching that again! Those two make me laugh so much. Zhehan is such a rascal, I swear!

I bought these figs from a seller on Xianyu - this was way before my direct purchasing time. These arrived in the warehouse, and all excited, I opened up the warehouse picture. And yelped!

I'll be honest, I don't know exactly what I was expecting, since I knew these figs were posable, but I didn't expect THAT. It's like my figs exploded into nice neat little bags!

If you've been reading my posts, you may or may not recall that I really don't care for disembodied figs. Too many ghost stories as an impressionable and perhaps easily freaked out kid, actually. I really, really prefer all body parts firmly where they belong!

Except...well, here we are.

And here they are! You may be able to see, both in the SuperBuy pic and in my pics, that Junjun's little chair is missing a limb too! This one, though, is by misadventure, not design. I carefully glued the chair leg back together, and it's as good as new.

Yeesh I don't care to look at these pics! This is them with the arms put into the, well, arm sockets, and before the heads go on. You can also see the little indents in the chairs for them to sit in.

And here's the bottoms-up view (literally!) before I put them in their chairs. You might notice there's some writing on the bottoms of the chairs...

I see I left some fluff on Zhehan's chair! Oops. Junjun's chair does in fact have the first "1" to reflect he was actually born in November, I just have the exact wrong angle to show it! It's there covered up by the cross bar of the chair.

The arms were very stiff for Zhehan, and too loose for Junjun. You can see how Zhehan's arms kinda don't quite fit all the way in the joint socket. Junjun's were so loose they were falling out when I turned him!

I love the name of this fig set…as you can see in the photo, it's quite literally named for the size difference in the hands between the two.

You can see Junjun's left arm kind of coming out of the socket a bit there. The heads are heavy and pretty wobbly too. A few times when I was moving the figs around for pics the head would come loose.

These figs actually balance incredibly well, considering the chairs are so light and the heads are so heavy. The figs legs kind of tuck up again the chairs, which I think helps to keep them on.

The fig maker designed Zhehan with quite the generous backside, as of course they should! In moving him around I see I kind of tilted him a bit too forward. He can actually sit back in the indentations just fine.

You can definitely tell who is who from this angle, with Zhehan's spiky hair and smaller overall body profile.

Speaking of hair, both of them had pretty short spiky hair! But we have just a few more spikes for Zhehan, and of course the different hairline.

Alright, since these can be posed, let's pose them!

Zhehan talking Junjun's ear off...

...and Junjun smiling at Zhehan, who is talking to the host!

And them looking at each other. I also put down Zhehan's right arm. You can see how it's kind of not fitting in the socket super well, and this was with both of them pushed in as much as I could.

Their little faces are really sweet, especially Junjun's with that little soft smile. I am not sure why Zhehan has the bumps at the outside bottom corners of his eyes? I don't think they're tears, unless they are tears because he was laughing so hard!

This is the fig maker's art for this set, and you can't see the eye detail here - but then again, the figs don't have cat and dog attributes either. Super cute art! I actually wouldn't have minded an alternate fig run with the cat and dog attributes, it looks great.

I didn't get a box card with this set, and the polystyrene box the figs came in was just in plain white boxes, so we'll just have to admire the cute art!

Material: Resin

Fig Count: 305

Scene Count: 23

Rating: Two big hearts!

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]

[vro0m]

vro0m’s rewatch - 102/301

2012 Belgian GP

Disclaimer for this season. It turns out that I only have the footage of the race for a lot of the GPs (no build-up, no post-race content) so there will be way less GIFs unfortunately. I will let you know for each of these reviews if there are GIFs or not. THIS ONE HAS GIFS.

Alright it's round 12 already, post summer break, let's see whose upgrades work.

Apparently the qualifying session was very surprising. Lewis is down in 7th so I guess the McLaren is not getting any better, unfortunately. Oh wait. Jenson is on pole so... I guess the car’s not the issue... Seb is 10th!!! That's not good. Alonso 5th. Perez 4th. Raikkonen 3rd. It's Kobayashi sharing the front row! Surprising indeed.

Ohhh Lewis is stuck between Maldonado and Grosjean 💀 scary lol. Crofty says his co-commentator (didn't hear who it was except it’s not Brundle) called that (Maldonado - Lewis - Grosjean) the "danger zone". Yep. Yep. For sure.

Webber is 12th, with a grid penalty for a gearbox change.

Formation lap

Oh hey it's Lupe Fiasco with Nicole here to support Lewis! It's funny I used to listen to his music a lot a few years back.

Ohhh Kobayashi's brakes are smoking...

And they're racing!

Oh what, Maldonado jumped so quickly... Is that a false start? It seems like an impossibly quick reaction time. Yeah I went back and he clearly moves ahead of everybody else. Yep. I watched it a third time and he moved before the lights were off.

OH MY GOD HUGE CRASH. Lewis is involved. Oh no. Grosjean came from behind him, pushed him to the side and they made contact. It made him lose control of the car, crash into Grosjean who crashed into a third car and then a Ferrari that hit a fifth car. I can't believe this shit. Fucking Grosjean. I'm gonna have to watch a whole race for what now 😭

There is so much debris it's bad. Safety Car obvi. And now they're talking about Maldonado jumping the start.

Nicole is shaking her head. Lewis is out and walking oh... He's walking very slowly, deliberately, towards Grosjean... A marshal is already trying to hold him back. They're talking. 

Alonso is not out of his car, the doctors are there, hunched over him. He's moving. He's getting out now, they are holding him gently. They're talking.

Lewis is walking back in the pitlane holding a piece of his own car. This image makes me extremely sad.

De la Rosa and Kobayashi pit, either they caught some debris or they're part of the other cars that were involved in the crash. Maldonado as well. And Lewis walking in the midst of it all, still with that chrome piece in his hand and his helmet on.

This is so tragic damn. Seriously. He's walking kilometers 😭 he's going straight through the other teams’ boxes and the mechanics standing there are watching him as he goes past them.

I wonder if he'll get in trouble for doing that because I'm pretty sure that's a security concern.

We see the replay. Now the commentators are certain Maldonado jumped the start, it's extremely obvious from the aerial view.

Oh so the third car involved in that accident was Perez, and Grosjean went OVER him and believe me it’s even more terrifying than whatever you’re picturing right now because, let me remind you, it’s pre-halo era.

The fifth car was barely touched, he was very lucky. I still don't know who it was. Oh it's Kobayashi, who completely missed his start. These on-boards are scary. We see Lewis taking his hands off the steering wheel to not break his wrists from the sudden jerking movements. Omg the view from Alonso... He's doing his thing and then BAM Grosjean is on top of his nose. Phew... Seb had to pit, we saw him collecting debris on the replay. Oh no, he actually hasn't, but Kobayashi did. Ah and Perez is out too.

Oh. We see Lewis' on-board again and Crofty says of Grosjean "he doesn't seem spatially aware of his car" which. Devastating and very true.

Ah see, I was right btw, I knew it was bad news for Lewis to find himself behind Maldonado and Grosjean. We see a replay of Lewis getting out of his car and tapping the side of his head essentially telling Grosjean "are you fucking crazy?"

Lee Mackenzie says she talked to McLaren : he is okay but he won't be talking to the media until after the race.

And the Safety Car is in. There's still loads of debris. So Jenson is still in the lead followed by Hulkenberg and Raikkonen. Maldonado has parked his car AND he's under investigation for that jump start. Lol we see a replay from Charlie's cabin and he's shaking is head watching that start.

I'm gonna watch this race on x2 speed because hey.

Alonso is sitting in Ferrari's garage, he looks fine.

OMG Kovalainen spun and almost collected another car spinning back around. Surely that's gonna be a penalty for dangerous driving? (Nope, there was no penalty.) A RedBull has just been overtaken by a Williams...

One third of the race in, Jenson is still comfortably ahead and Seb is making his way up the field.

Now Kovalainen hit Karthikeyan in the pitlane, coming in as he was leaving. Webber is also making his way up the field. Seb is now up in P2. Jenson is still way ahead.

Two thirds of the race in, Jenson is leading, over 14s ahead of Seb and Schumacher. Webber is under investigation for unsafe release as he almost collided with Massa as he left his box while Massa was joining his. Oop. Karthikeyan just crashed. Raikkonen overtook Schumacher for the podium. There are 4 cars all contained within 1 second fighting for that 3rd position. Schumacher took his place back from Raikkonen. Webber is attacking Hulkenberg for 5th. 10 laps left.

Raikkonen overtook Schumacher again, Webber can't get past Hulkenberg. Hulkenberg overtakes Schumacher. Massa is now closing on Webber. Schumacher overtakes Hulkenberg. Hulkenberg overtakes Schumacher who pits anyway. Massa overtakes Webber.

And it's the end of the race!

Jenson wins, followed by Seb and Kovalainen.

Okay so Wikipedia time. About that accident, Grosjean pushed Lewis towards the pitwall, they touched, both lost control of their cars. Grosjean collided with Perez, was thrown in the air, crashed into Alonso and stopped against the outside wall. Lewis crashed into Kobayashi and Alonso after he was hit by Grosjean. Perez lost his rear wing and touched Maldonado which is why he then spun. Kobayashi's sidepod had a hole in it and he found himself in the last place after starting on the frontrow.

Grosjean received a €50'000 fine and a one-race ban (!). Maldonado received TWO 5-place grid penalties, one for the jump start, one for colliding with Glock at some point.

Ah yes! I found Lewis' post race interview on YouTube! It's terrible quality but anyway. He says he doesn't wanna talk about the start (what else do you have to say my man you weren't here for the rest of it...), he believes people saw what happened. Huge congratulations to Jenson, walk in the park for him. It's great to see that they have the pace. He has to try to pull that out of his car in the next race. The journalist says his fans will be happy to see he’s fit and well and is he not too shaken up after the accident? He looks to the side, and quickly puts on a smile, shakes his head and says he's had a lot worse than that. (Lol really? When? Cocky idiot (affectionate)) She asks if he's able to learn anything when he’s out watching the race and he says no, dejectedly. He doesn't elaborate. You can tell he's done with it and doesn't want to talk anymore. The journalist doesn't try to push him. That’s it.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Fast & Furious (2009)

Knowing that the Fast & Furious franchise kept going past the stupidly titled Fast & Furious (the fourth entry but the third chronologically), makes it a better film. I consider this the last step before the franchise truly kicks off. For those who have been with this series from the beginning, enough of this film works to overlook the bumps in the road.

Five years after the first film, Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel), his girlfriend, Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), Tego Leo (Tego Calderón), Rico Santos (Don Omar), Cara (Mirtha Michelle), and Han Lue (Sung Kang) make a living racing the streets and stealing fuel in the Dominican Republic. When their latest heist goes wrong, the crew disbands. After Letty is murdered, Dom and Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) - now fully re-committed to his position as an FBI agent must team up and avenge her.

The picture begins with the boneheaded decision to kill off Letty (a choice the franchise eventually amended in Fast & Furious 6). It also suffers from being a transitional entry in the series. The action scenes are not quite grounded in reality like the first picture was, but we’re not quite mercilessly running over the laws of physics just yet either. A race set inside tunnels between the US-Mexican border is preposterous. It looks like a video game (and at times the special effects make it look like one too) and is forcefully crammed into the plot. There HAD to be an easier way for the drug kingpin baddie to get things done than mole people strategies.

This is a heavily flawed picture. What prevents you from dismissing it are the characters. Not so much the villainous Arturo Braga (John Ortiz), who is a generic evil dude you’ll instantly forget. I mean Dom, Brian and the other racers. Whether you’re watching this one before Tokyo Drift or after, you’re just glad to see the two of them together again and their dynamic is often more interesting than the scenes of burning rubber. Each driver has a particular set of skills that help them figure out what happened to Letty. Together? They’d be unstoppable… if they could find a way to get along.

While the action scenes have no anchor in reality, when our heroes are placed in peril you don’t care. That first heist with Dom and his crew? It’s amazing. Also enjoyable are the new characters introduced. We get a pre-Wonder Woman  Gal Gadot as Gisele and the picture makes the smart move to bring Sung Kang “back” (in the process improving Tokyo Drift) - or introducing him if you're watching these movies in the intended order.

Fast & Furious offers enough to please those looking for a film that isn’t cerebral. For fans who have been following the series, it offers much more and gets even better with repeat viewings. I know some will dismiss it but considering how entertaining the series gets, you've got to give it a second look so you can know the whole story. (On Blu-ray, July 28, 2018)

[disappointingyet]

Design For Living

Director Ernst Lubitsch Stars Gary Cooper, Miriam Hopkins, Fredric March USA 1933 Language English, French 1hr 33mins Black & white

Dear boy, you can’t possibly be telling me Gary Cooper is in a Noel Coward picture

Ninotchka

Director Ernst Lubitsch Stars Greta Garbo, Melvyn Douglas USA 1939 Language English, a tiny bit of Russian and French 1hr 50mins Black & white

Garbo laughs! Stalin doesn’t!

Many of my favourite films are Hollywood comedies of the 1930s and ‘40s. Ernst Lubitsch is regarded by critics as one the best directors of the era* and he specialised in comedies but I haven’t seen many of his films and those I had seen had watched hadn’t sold me on his genius. In particular, The Shop Around The Corner, which I saw on the big screen, left me underwhelmed. But it seemed like time to give him another go…

The attention-grabbing thing about Design For Living is that it is a Noel Coward adaptation starring Gary Cooper. Slow-talking cowboy Gary Cooper? Yeah, that one. Gary Cooper as a Cubist painter living in a Parisian garret and involved in unconventional sexual arrangements? Uh-huh. In a comedy? Yep. 

It’s apparently a very loose Coward adaptation (I’ve never seen the play) but his spirit remains, even if all the characters are now American. George (Cooper) and his playwright chum Tom (Fredric March) meet Gilda (Miriam Hopkins), who does art for an ad agency – ie, unlike them, she has a real income – on a train. Soon, and unknown to George and Tom, she’s carrying on with both men.

Ah, yes, something important to say: this is what is known as a pre-Code movie – one made before Hollywood’s system of self-censorship (which lasted until the 1960s) kicked in. 

Anyway, the guys rumble what’s going on and tell Gilda she has to make a decision: But instead of choosing one of them, she moves in to sort them out on the condition that there will be no sex… What are the odds that that will stick? 

If an Americanised Noel Coward  play sounds like a classic Hollywood monstrosity, it turns out that this film is pretty funny and still a bit daring. And Cooper could do comedy: he’s opposite Barbara Stanwyck in Ball Of Fire, a Howard Hawks screwball classic from 1940 in which he plays a linguistics professor researching slang. My assumption is that Cary Grant must have been first choice for that film but Cooper is good, and he and March and Hopkins are an appealing trio (or maybe throuple?) in Design For Living.

Ninotchka is much more famous movie and one I’m 95% sure** I saw as a kid. The tagline was ‘Garbo laughs!’ – this was a big deal. I feel that Greta Garbo is somewhere between those old-time movie stars who are almost completely forgotten – Sonja Henie, for instance – and those who have endured more clearly, say Marlene Dietrich. Even if you’ve never seen a Dietrich movie – and let’s be honest, most people alive have not seen a Dietrich movie – there's a reasonable chance you have some sense of what she looked and sounded like, if only from parodies and drag queens. Garbo, on the other hand, seems like just a name now. 

Considering she’s playing the title character, Garbo takes a while to turn up in Ninotchka. We’re in Paris again and a trio of Soviet officials are in town to sell some jewels. News of this mission reaches the Russian Grand Duchess (Ina Claire) who was the former (or, in her view, still rightful) owner of the jewels and she sends her boyfriend Leon (Melvyn Douglas), a French count, to try to retrieve the stuff or at least put a spoke in the Soviet plans. Pretty soon, he has the three officials thoroughly seduced by Western decadence. So Moscow sends a much more hardline comrade to sort things out… and that’s of course Ninotchka.

The broad strokes of this kind of hardened yet naive Bolshevik were familiar until at least the 1980s: she’s baffled by fun, she asks the Count’s butler why he subjects himself to the indignity of being a servant and the old man turns out to be far more conservative than the count etc.

 But the film is smarter than that (and Garbo was a huge star known for dramatic roles.) So we get nuance – for instance, we learn that Ninotchka had been a frontline soldier in the wars that followed the revolution, something not possible in the US until this century as far as I can tell. I don’t think the film is disapproving of this. 

The film’s take on the USSR is fascinating. It was claimed by many Western Communists and other apologists for Stalin (so-called fellow travellers) that it was impossible to know how oppressive the regime had become until the death of Stalin (1953) or even the invasion of Hungary (1956) – but this mainstream Hollywood comedy from 1939 has a clear idea. 

‘The latest mass trials were a great success,’ reports Ninotchka. ‘There are going to be fewer but better Russians.’ That’s a pretty brutal joke even now, but kind of astonishing at the time. The working assumption is that anyone who has messed up and has to return to the USSR will be shot. The scene of a Moscow parade shows Stalin’s cult of personality in full effect. The Russians are in Paris as a part of a programme to flog off Tsarist-era treasures to feed a starving people. 

Ah, but this was anti-Communist propaganda, so they would have said all those things, wouldn’t they? But American anti-Communist propaganda, by and large, didn’t work like this. It wanted to show that the USSR was powerful, dangerous, its agents insidious, not (for instance) easy to derail with champagne and cigarette girls. Anti-Communists were constantly warning everyone to be on their guard (and, during the Cold War, waved through absurd defence spending). This film, instead, is suggesting that people like fun and anyone in a position to compare the two will decide that the decadent West is simply a better time than Marxist-Leninism.

There are three writers credited with the screenplay (although apparently Lubitsch also did some of the work): Charles Brackett, Billy Wilder and Walter Reisch. Reisch I know nothing about, but Brackett and Wilder wrote Ball Of Fire (mentioned earlier) and Sunset Boulevard together, among many other films, before Wilder went on to an even better partnership with IAL Diamond. Pretty much any film Wilder worked on will have some great lines, and this is no exception. (‘A Russian! I love Russians! Comrade, I've been fascinated by your five-year plan for the last fifteen years.’)

Ninotchka is a terrific movie – silly when it needs to be but often extremely smart, funny but also quite tough in its way. It does so many interesting things, like holding off on bringing on its star, and the politics are super-interesting. So, yes, I'm starting to understand why Lubitsch mattered.

*One time and one time only I was invited to the Christmas party of Sight And Sound, the most serious-minded non-academic film magazine there is. My main memory of the evening is lurking uselessly on the edge of an intense conversation about Lubitsch, knowing I had nothing to add. 

**The tiny bit of doubt is because the story was reworked as a Fred Astaire-Cyd Charisse musical called Silk Stockings. I may well have seen that too, but my memory is of a black & white film, not a musical – so Ninotchka.