#MS Access database

[dfarberconsulting]

We will convert your Access to SQL, update it, and move it up to the cloud platform of your choice. When you make the switch and convert an MS Access database to a web-based application, you give your staff the power to be productive from any place and at any time.

[coochiequeens]

I am aware of Victorian donor-conceived people that have attempted to or taken their own lives,” Ms Dawson said. “These feelings are complex and often completely caused or worsened by the practices, mistakes, treatment by clinics and traumatic encounters donor-conceived people experience with clinics,” she continued.

In a powerful plea to the federal government, two Australian mothers are calling for urgent legislative reform of the nation’s fertility industry after claims that an 11 year old boy attempted to take his own life following the discovery of a IVF error.

Demands for national IVF laws and donor database

Anastasia Gunn, a Queensland mother, and Katherine Dawson, a national advocate for donor-conceived rights, have penned an emotional letter to federal Health Minister Mark Butler demanding the establishment of national laws and a donor database to regulate IVF procedures and prevent further heartache.

Ms Gunn, whose family has been at the centre of an IVF baby swap scandal, claimed her son’s suicide attempt was directly tied to the discovery that he and his siblings were not fully related by blood, a revelation that emerged through DNA testing after the children developed serious health conditions.

“We want the minister to realise that laboratory mistakes have real human impact throughout generations,” Ms Gunn told The Saturday Courier Mail. “We want everyone to know that.”

Her son, who suffers from a host of chronic medical issues including hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, severe chronic fatigue, and autism spectrum disorder, now battles long-term chronic pain.

Ms Gunn and her partner, Lexie, are currently suing Queensland Fertility Group over claims that the wrong sperm donor was used in the conception of two of their three sons.

The emotional and physical toll has been immense for their child, who has struggled not only with chronic pain but with the emotional impact of his disrupted genetic identity, so much so that they claim he attempted to take his own life.

“Imagine a boy that young being so sad, not only about his physical pain but the fact that through DNA testing he found out that all three brothers were not fully connected with the same blood,” Ms Gunn said.

“That has been so hard on him, he feels a deep sense of lost familial connection.”

Ms Dawson, who co-authored the letter to Minister Butler, has echoed these concerns and cited multiple tragic cases in which donor-conceived individuals took their own lives due to emotional trauma caused by secrecy, mismanagement, and lack of access to genetic information.

“I am aware of Victorian donor-conceived people that have attempted to or taken their own lives,” Ms Dawson said.

“These feelings are complex and often completely caused or worsened by the practices, mistakes, treatment by clinics and traumatic encounters donor-conceived people experience with clinics,” she continued.

“We are asking our health minister to step in to protect current and future Australian families from this irreparable and profound damage.”

The call for reform comes in the wake of the resignation of Monash IVF CEO Michael Knaap, after two separate cases involving devastating embryo mix-ups, one in Queensland and another in Victoria.

Ms Gunn further revealed that her eldest son, now 18, has been denied access to the identity of his sperm donor, a breach of national health guidelines. Advocates argue this lack of transparency is unacceptable in modern healthcare.

For Australia’s LGBTQIA+ families, who often rely on assisted reproduction to create their families, these errors are not just technical glitches they are deeply personal, life-altering breaches of trust. The emotional impact is compounded by the community’s historic struggle for recognition, equality, and access to healthcare that respects their unique family structures.

[tessasilverswan]

Latest AO3 scrape into AI database

Please read this if you're an AO3 user with public, not archive-locked works. This is information on the latest known instance of someone taking AO3 works to build datasets on which to train AI and the ongoing process to get them removed. I don't really make posts adressing people, but I am furious about my work being used and I know some of my mutuals don't have their fics archive-locked so I hope I can at least get the information to some people.

Earlier this month (April) a, to my understanding, rp fanworks website named PaperDemon.com got word that a user of an AI dataset website, HuggingFace, had scraped its contents, as well as those of a bunch of other websites among which AO3 is included, where they can be freely downloaded to train generative AI models. For AO3 specifically, the user themselves reports that all public works with IDs ranging from 1 to 63,200,000 have been scraped.

As of April 25 and per the updating Paper Demon publication, 2 of 8 affected sites have gotten their content removed and the rest have achieved temporary disabling (supposedly data is visible but not downloadable) pending a counter-notice from the scraper, who appears to be set on the aim of dismissing the request as unfounded. Furthermore, the AO3 dataset has already been downloaded 2,244 times in the last month. On earlier updates of the PD post they mentioned that the scraper agreed to remove, on an individual basis, the content of those who file a Copyright infringement report. So far there are about 150 reports against the AO3 dataset. The scraper also uploaded them to another website, but appears to have removed at least the PD ones, as well as to his personal website which the PD post doesn't even link for safety reasons. The platform HuggingFace has also been made aware of the situation (that's what got us the temporary disabling)

I have personally filed a Copyright infringement report using the helpful guide put together by the PD team and have emailed the scraper on the address listed there providing the title and URL of my work and requesting for it to be removed from the dataset.

I have one concern regarding the PD guide, though (disclaimer: this is coming from someone with a very limited knowledge on computers & digital information and my understanding of the majority of concepts is from 3h of internet searches + ms help page + messing around in my laptop) They rightly recommend to not publish the work URLs in the report and instead instruct to collect them in a spreadsheet in .cvs filetype. This, however, has a problem of personally-identifying metadata being stored "alongside" the file itself and it can be accessed. The MS Excel Inspector tool allows the removal of this type of data, but apparently only when it's shared through the MS account? For Google sheets there is a different problem, which is that you can't just make your spreadsheet in .csv filetype, you need to download it and the reupload it (if there is a way, it's not easily accessible; i looked at like 4 step-by-step guides and they all said to download) which again adds properties to the file that may contain personal information.

I was very sleep deprived and very close to giving up, because I do not wish to provide a person that's massively stealing content any information linked to my identity, but then I thought I could just send the info on the email body itself. It's not the best solution but I think it's better than the alternative.

I am beyond mad that this happened and will archive-lock my affected work as soon as I receive a response (or after enough days of silence, I guess, but I hope my report won't be ignored). Unfortunately I can't file a DMCA take-down notice, because it requires personal information which might be shared with the infringer if they file a counter-notice, but I have hope that, if everyone whose works were scraped files Copyright infringement reports, AO3's DMCA won't be dismissed.

I encourage anyone who has read this to also file a report to get their work(s) removed asap and, if anyone is more informed or knowledgeable on the topic, to please share any useful info you have. I might also email AO3 to inquire about the DMCA status later because the PD publication is understandably only really tracking theirs.

[maniculum]

Wait, bestiaries are real? I've only seen them in videogames. Can you find scans of them online? Or maybe ask libraries for books worh pictures/scans? Or is it something you need a degree to be able to access?

Not only are they real, they were a pretty popular genre during the Middle Ages. TTRPGs and video games get the word from that tradition. If you want to check them out but don't have university access, here are some suggestions:

The Aberdeen Bestiary is a particularly well-regarded example, and the University of Aberdeen has scanned the whole thing and made it publicly available under Creative Commons, with a transcription of the Latin and a translation into modern English. Which is an extremely cool thing for them to do. You can find it here:

If you prefer your media physical, the Bodley Bestiary is from the same manuscript tradition as the Aberdeen Bestiary and is thus very similar. There's a complete translation with full-color illustrations published in a very nice slipcover edition by the Folio Society -- if you search for, like, "folio society bestiary", there are copies available for around $30.

If that's a bit steep, there's a translation of a Latin bestiary which I believe is of the same tradition (I'm honestly not sure what manuscript it's working from; I don't have a copy of this one) by T. H. White called The Book of Beasts. You may know T. H. White from his fiction writing, most famously The Once and Future King. (And if that doesn't sound familiar to you, it's the retelling of the Arthurian legend that Disney's Sword in the Stone is based on.) You can get it for under $10 if you look for used copies.

If you'd prefer an overview rather than a deep dive into a specific bestiary, a fellow named David Badke has been maintaining and improving a seriously impressive database of bestiary entries for over twenty years now. Every beast listed in his index has a general description, then tabs along the top of that entry that quote different bestiary sources directly, provide a bibliography, point you to (frequently digitized) manuscripts in which the beast appears, and show a gallery of illustrations of said beast. You can find all that here:

If you're only familiar with bestiaries as they exist in games, I should warn you that while games usually pair the description of the beast with, like, how to fight it, medieval bestiaries usually pair the description with... spiritually edifying metaphors to help you understand what you can learn from this beast. Which isn't as much fun, unless you're a monk I guess.

Obviously everyone participating in the Bestiaryposting activity we're doing every week on this blog should be cautious accessing those resources or risk spoilers, especially since the Aberdeen Bestiary is the source I'm using for it.

[yjlom]

About MS Recall

The problem

So, apparently Microsoft decided to put an AI on their operating system that uses regular screenshots to store, index, and describe every single thing the user does on their computer. If you enter a password -- it's stored and indexed; if you send a message: it's stored and indexed. It stores all that in a neat little unencrypted database that doesn't require elevated privileges to access, meaning any hostile program only needs a few seconds at most to perform weeks worth of data collection, and it's already processed for easy use by the cracker. Even if the data stays on device, the applications for facilitating domestic abuse are absolutely terrifying.

I don't use DOS, so it doesn't affect me, right?

Wrong. Chances are, your bank, your hospital, your employer, your school, your tax office use it. This "feature" can be deactivated, and I seriously hope it will be on every single system handling sensitive data (or better stop using that operating system altogether), but it only takes one employee viewing it on their personal computer for a major data leak to occur.

The wider problem

The data is supposedly and presumably stored on-device which should mean Microsoft doesn't collect it, but the operating system as a whole is also proprietary and closed-source, meaning:

it's very hard to tell what the system does or doesn't do, the only recourse we have are to look at outgoing data packets (not foolproof) or study the disassembly (difficult and illegal)

it is both extremely hard and illegal to make and maintain forks (modified versions), which means if they do something their users absolutely can't agree with, they're left with three choices:

use an outdated version -- not the best for security, and Microsoft makes updates mandatory

switch operating systems -- can be time-consuming and costly to do, especially if the user relies on system-specific functionality (I'd recommend getting started on this asap)

just accept it -- what most will probably end up doing

[beardedmrbean]

A female police officer nicknamed “hot cop” leaked confidential information about Nicola Bulley to her friends and family.

Molly Bury, 28, the former police constable, illegally accessed the Police National Computer database to get intimate updates about the missing mother-of-two’s case, while it was still ongoing, so she could share them with friends and family.

When one friend kept pressing her for more information, Bury, who worked for Lancashire police at the time, said: “I will get in s— if they see me checking.”

When pressed again she added: “I have not checked. I cannot keep checking. I will get into trouble.”

She faced up to two years in jail under sentencing guidelines but was handed six months in prison, suspended for 12 months, after a judge ruled she was “profoundly immature” and “not corrupt”.

Gayle McCoubrey, prosecuting, said the unnamed member of the public contacted police in March 2023, after overhearing Bury’s mother, Andrea Mercer, sharing information about a rape that had occurred in Lancashire.

“She was heard to say, ‘I asked Molly. She checked her police thing and she said it was a rape,’” the court heard.

Police systems then identified that Bury had viewed logs on a police-issued Samsung device while off duty.

Investigations revealed Bury, who was nicknamed “hot cop” by locals after a crime prevention workshop, had been accessing the police logs between October 2019 and March 2023 to share “idle gossip” for ‘‘no policing purpose”.

She also obtained information on the death of a baby, a stabbing and a preplanned arrest of a robbery suspect.

She admitted she had been “stupid and nosey” but insisted she was not “malicious”.

Most of the information was accessed when she was on annual or sick leave.

Bury resigned from the force while under investigation, Lancashire police said.

Had she not already resigned she would have been dismissed, a misconduct hearing last year found.

Bulley, 45, was found dead in the River Wyre at St Michael’s on Wyre in Feb 2023 following a three-week search which provoked wild speculation on social media.

A coroner later concluded she had drowned after accidentally falling into the water while walking her dog.

32 charges of unauthorised access to logs

Bury, a mother-of-one from Accrington in Lancashire, appeared at Chester magistrates’ court and admitted to 32 charges of unauthorised access to police logs.

Police raided Bury’s home and recovered a mobile phone which showed she had sent confidential information about various police incidents.

In October 2019, she sent details about a stabbing incident which she had attended to a friend named Elliott, saying: “The lad from [the] stabbing survived.”

She later sent him further messages saying: “A hit and run just came in. Woman probably going to die. Car drove onto the pavement into this lad and girl.”

In a further message regarding a dead baby found in Dec 2019, Bury said: “Oh my God, it is a one-year-old child.”

On a day off she sent further texts, saying to Elliott: “Undercover police are outside your address,” to which he replied: “F— the feds.”

At 10.59am on Jan 29 2023, Bury was on a sick day when her friend, a woman named Amy Sanderson, asked: “Any update on Nicky?” to which she replied: “I will get in s— if they see me checking,” Ms McCoubrey told the court.

Ms McCoubrey added: “At 11.01am, she accessed the Samsung device and searched again and a further message was sent regarding Nicola Bulley.

“At 6.33pm, Ms Sanderson sent a message saying ‘Any update?’ and Bury replied: ‘I have not checked. I cannot keep checking. I will get into trouble.’”

Ms McCoubrey told the court: “It is difficult to assess the harm as we do not know what the outcome was from accessing that information. She was spreading gossip or sensitive information. There was no policing purposes for this defendant to access the logs on these occasions.”

Bury was also ordered to complete 30 days of rehabilitation activity and pay £154 in costs and surcharge.

Deputy Senior District Judge Tan Ikram said: “These are not corrupt messages. There is no money involved. There is no suggestion this is a criminal fraternity.

“She clearly knew what she was doing was wrong, but the harm is damage to the reputation of police and confidence in policing. It was immature gossiping throughout. She was doing work without any insight into the job. It was tittle tattle nonsense much of it.”

Det Ch Insp Pete Reil, from the force’s anti-corruption unit, said: “Molly Bury’s behaviour fell way below what the constabulary expects and what the public would expect of a serving police officer.

“I want to make it clear that the overwhelming majority of police officers in Lancashire are law abiding, respectful and go to work to make a difference in the communities in which they serve.

“Where there is any evidence of wrongdoing by an officer or staff member, our [anti-corruption unit] will identify it, investigate it and work with the Crown Prosecution Service to take the appropriate action.”

[sephirthoughts]

Father: Verb

11 year old WMD Sephiroth is assigned a new handler/bodyguard named Vincent Valentine.

rating: teen and up (prev chapter linked at bottom)

Chapter 5: String Beans

He couldn’t find any information about a person named Lucrecia. As an asset, Sephiroth’s access to the Shinra network was severely truncated, of course, but he couldn’t even find anything with credentials he lifted from a dozing guard. There was not a single mention of the word Lucrecia, anywhere that he could access, with that level of clearance. Nothing for Lucre or Luc, either.

It was pretty much the same for Valentine, aside from the man’s current photograph and list of access privileges. In the name of rigor, Sephiroth searched Valen and then Val, too. After sifting through a mountain of files, he actually came across something interesting, if not particularly useful.

It was an archived memo, informing the division head of the reassignment of Agent Vincent Valentine, from Special Investigations, to Science and Research, dated fifteen years ago. The record name had been input incorrectly, as ‘Valantine,’ which was likely the reason it remained.

Sephiroth was annoyed at both the sloppiness of such an error, and that the sanitization of the databases had also been so carelessly done, so as to leave such an obvious trace behind. His impatience for human stupidity notwithstanding, he was getting nowhere like this. He needed a higher level of clearance.

He couldn’t access the upper floors, but getting past security down here was basically a joke. One of the junior researchers, working late one night, made an easy target. Sephiroth simply evaded the guards, slipped into the man’s office, waited for him to log on to the network, and then pinched a pressure point to knock him out.  

Using the unconscious scientist’s terminal, he then searched a much larger network than the one he’d previously had access to. Still, there was not a single record under the name Lucrecia, Lucre or Luc. Searching the name Valentine yielded nothing more regarding Vincent, but he did find something else.

A hit, for a Dr. Grimoire Valentine. Apparently he was a senior scientist, who had been working on a project related to protomateria, and an entity he called Chaos. That was all irrelevant to Sephiroth, but in the file, there was a single photograph of the man.

He was a handsome gentleman, with long, black hair, dressed in black clothing, with a crimson scarf. It very much reminded Sephiroth of Vincent’s manner of dress. One look at his face made it clear that the man was at least a close relative. Sephiroth had assumed Vincent’s scarlet eye color was related to the rest of his inhuman characteristics, but apparently, it was natural.

So, this man must be Vincent’s father. Was he still around, somewhere?

He continued to peruse the file, and came upon the incident report, regarding the man’s death, in an accidental explosion. The report mentioned, almost as a footnote, that Dr. Valentine had sacrificed himself to save the life of his assistant, Ms. Lucrecia Crescent.

Finally! The name Sephiroth had been seeking! But…this only raised more questions than it answered. This Lucrecia Crescent had to be the woman Vincent had mentioned, but if she was his father’s assistant, then she was a Shinra scientist, too. There should be some record of her somewhere, other than this single mention, buried in her former colleague’s file.

Sephiroth was beginning to suspect that whatever happened to Lucrecia Crescent, was related to whatever happened to Vincent. Vincent repeatedly warned him never to ask about it, so any pertinent information having been purged from the company’s databases tracked.

But even concealed records have to be kept somewhere, by someone. If he wanted to find out more, he’d need access to the upper levels, which was basically impossible, unless he wanted to brute-force his way in, which would defeat the purpose.

If anyone knew all of Shinra’s dirty secrets, it would be the old professor. But Sephiroth couldn’t risk getting Vincent into trouble, by asking him. Not to mention, the mere thought of the man made him nauseous and shaky, and sent his heart rate through the roof.

Frustrated by the dead-ends he’d reached, he left the office and slipped back to his room, to lie awake mulling over what he’d found out.

Maybe Vincent was telling the truth, and Lucrecia really was only an old friend. It would make sense that he’d be acquainted with his father’s assistant. Only…the date of Vincent’s reassignment from the Turks, to the Science and Research Division, was several years after the death of Dr. Valentine.

He tossed restlessly, for a while, then it occurred to him. He couldn’t ask Vincent about what happened to him or that Lucrecia woman, but he could approach it indirectly.

“Vincent, do you have a father?” he asked, the next evening, when they were walking in the courtyard, after supper.

“No,” Vincent said. “He died. Long time ago.”

“How did he die?”

“There was some kind of accident, where he was working. I was never clear on the details, but they say he was a hero and that he died saving someone else’s life.”

“Whose life?”

“A research assistant.”

“Oh. Were you very sad?”

“I don’t know if sad is the right word. I felt…loss and regret, but it wasn’t the kind of heartbreak people describe, when they talk about losing loved ones.”

“So, neither of us have fathers, then,” Sephiroth said, using the sympathy register.

A strange expression flickered across Vincent’s face, but he turned away, and his collar concealed it.

Sephiroth misunderstood the reaction. “I didn’t mean to—of course, it must have been harder for you, since you knew your father.”

“I wouldn’t say that. He was a good man, by all accounts, but I hardly knew him. He was often away working, when I was a child. After my mother died, he stopped coming home, altogether. We exchanged telephone calls a couple of times a year, but that’s all. He was never really a presence, in my life.”

Sephiroth’s big eyes got even bigger. “You don’t have a mother? You mean…you’re an orphan, like me?”

Vincent nodded slowly. “I guess I am.”

“But we have each other, now,” Sephiroth said, looking eagerly into his face. “We don’t need families, or anyone else, because we’ll be alright, as long as we’re together. Won’t we Vincent?”

“Yeah. We will.”

Sephiroth sighed happily and leaned into the embrace he’d known was coming. Vincent hugged him pretty often, now, and he always did after the boy had been adorably earnest and vulnerable.

He was consciously aware that he was acting cute, to get affection, but he was hardly the first child to do such a thing. And, child that he was, despite his highly advanced intelligence, he’d forgotten all about wheedling for information, in his excitement at the revelation that Vincent was an orphan, just like him.

He felt almost joyful about it, and then soundly berated himself for it. That was a wrong feeling to have. He didn’t want Vincent to suffer or be sad. He was just happy to have another thing in common with his special person. Also…if Vincent didn’t have anyone but him, the way he had no one but Vincent, it was only for the better. That way he wouldn’t want to leave him.  

Sephiroth’s rational mind knew it was disgracefully childish, the covetous, clinging way he wanted to possess and monopolize Vincent, but he couldn’t help it. On a daily basis, he caught himself wishing he could lock him in, chain him up, fuse their flesh and bone together if he had to, so that Vincent could never leave. The more he tried not to, the more he fixated on it, day and night. The more possessive and obsessed he became.

There was nothing sexual about it—he was a child, and hardly even aware of romantic interactions between humans—but measured purely in degrees of intensity, Sephiroth’s love for Vincent already rivaled the great romances in literature and drama. And, much like in literature and drama, his attitude toward Vincent very closely reflected the jealous lover archetype.

But the word that fit the shape of the black and empty hole in his heart was not lover, it was father. He wanted Vincent to be his father. He wanted to be Vincent’s son. He wanted the security of that blood tie, eternal and unbreakable, binding them together forever, so he could never lose him.

Then, perhaps, he would be able to calm down, and stop hanging on, with such a white-knuckle grip. Stop frantically searching databases for scraps related to an old lover, to prove to himself that she was not a threat. Stop engineering circumstances that would cause a newly-established young baker in Nibelheim to suddenly pull up stakes and relocate to Costa Del Sol, practically overnight.

He had to keep Vincent by his side, forever, but he had to do it in a way that Vincent would agree to, and be happy with. He had to build the cage carefully and softly around him, without alarming him and causing him to attempt to fly away, because he knew he could never bear to clip the wings of his beautiful bird. Not unless he absolutely had to.

The first time he beat Vincent in a sparring match, he was a few months from turning fourteen. Sephiroth had been able to move faster than the human eye could perceive, basically since he was big enough to walk. This time, in a moment of distraction, he broke through the detection threshold of Vincent’s enhanced eyes, and landed a hurricane of blows within a millisecond, throwing the taller, older man to the ground. Before he could react, Sephiroth had him pinned, with the katana at his throat.

“Good,” Vincent said, as the boy grabbed his hand to pull him up. “You’ve finally stopped holding back.”

“Holding back?” Sephiroth frowned.

Vincent put a hand on his narrow hip. “Do you really think I can’t tell when you’re pulling your punches, and fighting at less than your full strength?”

“Um…I—”

“I understand you don’t want to hurt me, Seph, but holding back is a bad habit to get into. In live combat, ruthlessness is merciful. Ending things as quickly as possible prevents more suffering. Sparing the enemy will only lead to more messy, protracted conflicts, and get even more people killed. It could get you killed. Be rational, decisive, and thorough, and when you draw your weapon, always strike to kill.”

“I understand,” Sephiroth said, lowering his head contritely. “I’m sorry, Vincent.”

Vincent patted his shoulder encouragingly. “It’s alright. Square up, let’s go again. No more holding back, got it?”

In truth, Sephiroth had been fighting well below his capability for quite some time. It was less for fear of hurting Vincent, and stemmed more from his absolute terror of losing him. He worried that if his bodyguard was no longer his match, in combat, they would consider the position redundant, and send him away. That would be unacceptable. He couldn’t live in this place without Vincent.

After training, in which he reluctantly thrashed his mentor, for nearly two more hours, Sephiroth went to shower, as he had to do now, after every training session, because his maturing body was producing more sweat. He wasn’t growing any body hair, as the information he’d been given regarding puberty suggested he should be, but he was growing taller, and his muscle mass was steadily increasing.

It so happened that he had an annual physical exam scheduled, today, to which Vincent accompanied him, in order to prevent any repeats of the hair cutting incident. They had sent two scientists (not the ones he had injured) and a nurse, this time, all of whom were extremely deferential and polite. As usual, they asked a lot of questions, watched him break testing equipment, as they tried in vain to find the limit of his strength, weighed him, measured his height and the proportions of his body, drew vials of blood, did a cheek cell scraping, and plucked a few silver hairs, from his head.

On the surgical tray, beside the exam table, there was the usual plastic specimen container for urine, but beside it was something Sephiroth hadn’t seen before. It was made of black plastic, and his first thought was that it was an insulated thermos, but if so, it was standing upside down. Also, it had a button on the side, and the narrow end was rounded, so it was only possible to stand it up on the wide end, where the lid was screwed on.

“Alright, I’m going step out now,” the nurse said. “Just leave your samples on the tray, and then you’re free to go.”

“Excuse, me, ma’am,” Sephiroth called out, stopping her. “I don’t understand. Samples, plural?”

She pointed to the clear specimen cup. “Urine.” Then she pointed to the thermos thing. “Semen.”

Sephiroth froze, and Vincent, who’d been leaning against the wall, dozing, jolted awake.

“Press that button to activate the device, and it will begin collection,” the nurse explained, matter-of-factly. “After ejaculation, press the button again to deactivate it, and screw the lid back on. Oh, and be sure to use the collection device after you give your urine specimen. Semen in your urethra could contaminate the sample. Any other questions?”

“N—no. Thank you,” Sephiroth said faintly, looking down at his feet.

He was blushing so hard that his ears and neck felt hot, and he wished with all his might that the universe would strike him dead, then and there. He had never been so embarrassed in his life. Apparently, neither had Vincent. After the nurse left, there was a supremely uncomfortable beat, in which both of them remained silent and avoided eye contact, not knowing to what to do.

“I’d better, uh. Leave you to it, then,” Vincent mumbled, and retreated from the room like his cloak was on fire.

Sephiroth, now on his own, filled the urine sample cup, then eyed the semen collection device warily. He’d had erections and nocturnal emissions, as was normal and healthy for a boy in early puberty, but he’d never intentionally masturbated himself.

The idea was so deeply humiliating to him, that he wanted to cry. Especially since Vincent was waiting for him, outside, and couldn’t help but know exactly what was going on, in here.

Gathering his courage, he forced himself to pick the device up. It was unexpectedly heavy and unwieldy, in his small hand. With a little trouble, he unscrewed the lid, and looked at the inside. It was filled with a transparent, blue, jelly-like substance. There was a tiny slit in the middle of this gel, which must be where he was meant to…do that.

While he was looking at it, he pressed the power button by accident. The whole thing started vibrating, which startled him so badly, he fumbled and nearly dropped it. Hastily pressing the button again, he dropped the device on the tray with a clatter, and practically ran from the exam room.

Vincent was waiting for him in the hall. As they walked away, together, he cleared his throat, awkwardly. “It’s a totally normal thing, for—”

“I couldn’t do it,” Sephiroth blurted out. “I just couldn’t. It’s too embarrassing and gross, and that thing was scary.”

Vincent stopped dead in his tracks. “You have to go back. You have to do it,” he said, so unexpectedly that Sephiroth almost thought he’d misheard.

“What?”

“You have to go back in there and give your semen sample.”

Sephiroth balked and backed away a step. “No. I can’t do it. I don’t want to!”

Vincent put both hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes. His expression was grave, and there was a hint of fear in it. “Seph, if you don’t give them the sample here, I…I’m afraid the old man will have them take one from you, later. I cannot stomach the thought of what that might entail. Please do it. I know it’s embarrassing because you’re a kid, but I promise it’s nothing to be ashamed of. And it’s far better than the alternative.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Sephiroth fretted, picking anxiously at the cuticle of his thumb. “Will you…help me?”

Vincent blinked.

Sephiroth’s eyes went wide. “No, no! I didn’t mean—that’s not what I was—ahh, why is this so awful? I just meant help me figure out how to use that thing, so I don’t do it wrong.”

The room was just as they’d left it, a moment ago. Sephiroth sat on the exam table and Vincent picked up the device to look at it, switching the power on and off, and inspecting the blue gel.

“It seems fairly straightforward,” he concluded. “Just do like the nurse said. Don’t be scared if it feels like it’s…uh, s—sucking you in. That’s what it’s supposed to do.”

“Have you used one of these?” Sephiroth asked, accepting the device from Vincent.

“No. The last time I gave a semen sample was…” Vincent trailed off and looked away. “It was a long time ago, when I was alive. They didn’t have these things, back then. Take your time, and don’t be afraid. I’ll be right outside. Ok?”

Sephiroth took a deep breath, then nodded bravely. “Ok.”

Neither of them were in the mood for the dining facility, that evening, so they ordered up to Sephiroth’s room, where the boy ate, in a rather subdued mood. After they’d sat in silence for a while, Vincent sighed and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms.

“Look, Seph, I’m from an older generation. I have some old-fashioned hangups about sex and sexuality, that were ingrained into me very early on, along with a lot of religious guilt and shame about my body. I don’t want to do that to you. But how do I be open enough with you, so that you don’t feel ashamed to talk about those things, without being too open, and making you even more uncomfortable? I’m in uncharted waters, here, with no example to follow. My parents taught me nothing about sex, and then died. When I died, at age twenty-seven, I was still a virgin and I’d only ever kissed one person.”

“You…you were a virgin, when you died?” Sephiroth asked, stricken. “So, you couldn’t—” He broke off abruptly and looked down at his plate, where he was organizing the string beans into neat little rows, by size.

“I just mean that I don’t have all the answers,” Vincent went on, obliviously. “And sex happens to be an area where I am totally deficient. I don’t know how to guide you through this phase of growing up. I’m sorry. I wish that I could be a better f—ah, a better mentor to you, especially now that you’re not a kid anymore.”

“But I am! I am a kid!” Sephiroth said, in a panicked voice, hastily pushing away the plate of string beans. “I still need you, Vincent. I still need you to teach me things and spar with me, and—and it doesn’t matter if you don’t know about sex, I don’t care about that. I saw the educational films and studied the materials they gave me, and it sounds disgusting. Besides, it’s not as if I’m ever going to make babies. I’m going to be a warrior, like you. So I still need you. I will always need you even when there is nothing more to teach me.”

“They gave you films and information to study, about sex?”

“Well, human reproduction. My education has been quite thorough.”

Vincent crossed his arms and receded into his collar. “Do you—ahem. Do you still have them?”

“Sterile! He’s fucking sterile!!” In a basement laboratory, a raspy, nasal voice was roaring, in a fit of unhinged rage, amidst loud crashes and thuds, as lab equipment was smashed to bits and hurled about the room. “My perfect specimen! All my work! Everything I’ve sacrificed to create him! And he’s sterile! Like a fucking mule!!”

“We’ll collect other samples, sir,” a terrified lab technician offered. “He’s just entered puberty, this might not be an accurate—”

“Out! Get out!” the professor bellowed, grabbing the nearest thing to hand, which was an Erlenmeyer flask, and flinging it at the beleaguered technician. It bounced off the clipboard they were holding up like a shield and exploded on the floor, sending fragments of glass flying all over the room. “I’m surrounded by drooling idiots! The boy is thirteen fucking years old! If he’s not producing viable spermatozoa by now, he never will!”

After venting his feelings on the lab equipment for a few more minutes, the professor collapsed into a chair, taking off his spectacles, to pinch the bridge of his hawkish nose.

“No matter, no matter,” he muttered to himself. “If I can’t breed him with the Cetra girl, there are still other methods. There will be plenty of time to work on that. For now, it’s about time to show those fools on the board what my little asset can do. But first, I’ll have to kennel that dog of his.”

THE AUTHOR HAS SOMETHING TO SAY   vincent: you're so pure and innocent how can i explain the birds and bees to you miniroth: i already know all about sex vincent: so do i. obviously. but let's pretend i know absolutely nothing, and you just tell me everything you know, so i can verify that your information is correct

Prev chapter

ao3 link

[carriershoukaku]

the funniest profiling at work incident is when a man saw me log into an MS Access database program and click around in it, and he came up to my project manager in private and asked "UH, is it OKAY? DOES SHE have the right clearance to VIEW that? I think I just WITNESSED a security breach" and my PM had to tell him i created that Access database.

[amazondigitalmarketting]

MS Office - Introduction

Microsoft Office is a software which was developed by Microsoft in 1988. This Office suite comprises various applications which form the core of computer usage in today’s world.

MS Office Applications & its Functions

Currently, MS Office 2016 version is being used across the world and all its applications are widely used for personal and professional purposes.

Discussed below are the applications of Microsoft Office along with each of their functions.

1. MS Word

First released on October 25, 1983 

Extension for Doc files is “.doc”

It is useful in creating text documents

Templates can be created for Professional use with the help of MS Word

Work Art, colours, images, animations can be added along with the text in the same file which is downloadable in the form of a document

Authors can use for writing/ editing their work

To read in detail about Microsoft Word, its features, uses and to get some sample questions based on this program of Office suite, visit the linked article.

2. MS Excel

Majorly used for making spreadsheets

A spreadsheet consists of grids in the form of rows and columns which is easy to manage and can be used as a replacement for paper

It is a data processing application

Large data can easily be managed and saved in tabular format using MS Excel

Calculations can be done based on the large amount of data entered into the cells of a spreadsheet within seconds

File extension, when saved in the computer, is “.xls”

Also, visit the Microsoft Excel page to get more information regarding this spreadsheet software and its components.

3. MS PowerPoint

It was released on April 20, 1987

Used to create audiovisual presentations

Each presentation is made up of various slides displaying data/ information

Each slide may contain audio, video, graphics, text, bullet numbering, tables etc.

The extension for PowerPoint presentations is “.ppt”

Used majorly for professional usage

Using PowerPoint, presentations can be made more interactive

In terms of Graphical user interface, using MS PowerPoint,  interesting and appealing presentation and documents can be created. To read more about its features and usage, candidates can visit the linked article.

4. MS Access

It was released on November 13, 1992

It is Database Management Software (DBMS)

Table, queries, forms and reports can be created on MS Access

Import and export of data into other formats can be done

The file extension is “.accdb”

5. MS Outlook

It was released on January 16, 1997

It is a personal information management system

It can be used both as a single-user application or multi-user software

Its functions also include task managing, calendaring, contact managing, journal logging and web browsing

It is the email client of the Office Suite

The file extension for an Outlook file is “.pst”

6. MS OneNote

It was released on November 19, 2003

It is a note-taking application

When introduced, it was a part of the Office suite only. Later, the developers made it free, standalone and easily available at play store for android devices

The notes may include images, text, tables, etc.

The extension for OneNote files is “.one”

It can be used both online and offline and is a multi-user application.

[wentzsmatchacup]

leave your will on queue before you leave for the concert in case they kill you with the setlist

GAHHAHA SO REAL-

here’s my tumblr will guys

Mr Lexi @pisshandkerchief gets access to my entire database of rpf and also all my FOB shirts. Mx Malaya @bandom-simmer gets access to my archive and extensive collection of FOB photos and shit. and also my cat because you’re a responsible parent 💀

Mr Saturday @kryiscool is granted my entire plushie collection bcuz I think he’d appreciate that

Mr @greenapel gets my lovely plant, Giorno. Take good care of that lil guy.

Ms @bipridemoth is in charge of writing my eulogy.

And for the rest of my beautiful moots and followers, you’re all invited to my funeral and I WILL have Fall Out Boy perform there. You guys will make it happen. Also, I leave you all with the legacy of my blogs <3 oh, and about my fall out boy blanket… bury it with me. Also, I’d like for my funeral to be exactly like the This Aint a Scene It’s an Arms Race video bit. Please and thank you.

here’s my will for when I surely pass away from the FOB show. IT WAS LOVELY KNOWIN YOU GUYS

(i have to clarify this is all a joke and I will HOPEFULLY not die, despite possibly suffering heat stroke and brain damage and also the big gay. This sounds like a slip n slide note but I PROMMIE it’s not 😭😭 I’m actually fine guys. Love u all tho)

[weerd1]

ENT Rewatch Starlog, 21 January, 2024: Episode 3.05 “Impulse”

While Trip and Archer examine the Xindi database, they discuss the crew’s mental well-being. Trip wants to bring back movie night. As T’Pol enters she asks why she wasn’t called to help, and Archer explains he didn’t want to wake her. Trip gleefully tells T’Pol there’s a movie coming! Hoshi calls from the bridge: A Vulcan distress signal is coming from a nearby asteroid field. 

Nearing the field, they realize the Vulcan ship is the “Seleya,” a ship that T’Pol had previously served on. The ship was assigned to monitor the thermobaric cloud around the Expanse when it was pulled in. The Vulcan ship Soval showed them footage from with a crew gone mad was the ship sent to find Seleya. Sensors also show that the asteroid field is full of trellium ore. Archer takes T’Pol, Reed, and the MACO Hawkins on a shuttlepod to the Seleya while Travis and Trip try to use the transporter to mine trellium. An anomaly fries the circuits, and they decide to land the second shuttlepod on a large asteroid to grab the ore manually.

Archer and the gang find the Seleya in a derelict condition with minimal life support. They are however picking up life signs.  Docking with the Vulcan ship, they begin to explore and soon find the crew physically mutated and having reverted to almost a primal state. They are soon cut off by the violent Vulcans from being able to reach the shuttle again. Also, slowly, T’Pol’s behavior is becoming more erratic.

Travis and Trip get more trellium, but have to quickly get back to the ship when spatial anomalies send their asteroid farther into the field. They have grabbed a fair amount of trellium, but the pod will need about two hours of repair. This is a problem, as Archer has called to see if they can get a pick up as they are cut off from their own pod. T’Pol’s readings of the Vulcan crew are read by Phlox, and he realizes it is the trellium itself acting as a neurotoxin to Vulcans. The crew of the Seleya have had their minds damaged beyond repair. T’Pol is being affected, but there’s a chance to treat her if they can get her to sickbay. Having had a conversation with Hawkins that Vulcans do have emotions—just controlled—and the species was previously violent and paranoid, she begins to exhibit more paranoia, calling back to Archer accessing the Xindi database without her. The only solution they can find to allow them to access the shuttle means shutting down all the main systems of the Seleya which will result in a warp core explosion. T’Pol is convinced this was always the plan, to kill all the Vulcans. Eventually, Archer has to stun her, and they make their way through the decks, pursued by the savage-minded Vulcan crew.

Making it to the shuttlepod, they find they can’t release the docking clamp, but Travis and Trip arrive in the second pod just in time to phase-cannon the clamps allowing both pods to escape. On Enterprise, a hysterical T’Pol is wrestled into a biobed and tranquilized. Phlox treats her, but Archer realizes that the trellium they need to protect their hull from the Expanse’s anomalies will drive T’Pol mad, She insists on being left behind, but Archer promises to find another way. 

It’s movie night again when there is a tactical alert. T’Pol is heading for the bridge when she is attacked by more feral Vulcans. She awakens in sickbay as the whole event was a nightmare, showing she is still plagued by paranoid dreams.

Popularly known as the “Vulcan Zombie” episode, this one mostly works. Well directed by David Livingston, we do get some horror vibes here, not unlike the Borg episode from season 2. Jolene Blalock does a marvelous job showing T’Pol’s slow descent into madness, though yeah, it is just another “Pretty Vulcan girl is losing it” trope that ENT dips into too often. Indeed, this will begin the arc for T’Pol based on her becoming addicted to trellium-d which I know was not a storyline Ms. Blalock appreciated. Nonetheless, she delivers, and the conversation with T’Pol and Hawkins about whether or not Vulcans have emotions is a particularly good moment. Although it’s in a dream sequence, T’Pol telling Trip and Phlox to “Use logic more quietly” while trying to decipher a film remains one of my favorite lines from the character.

Speaking of the dream sequence, it really feels tacked on.  A little investigation shows that it literally was- the first edit of this episode fell short time-wise, so the sequence was added to make time. Don’t know that I would have done it the same way.

Archer gives a line at the end when discussing whether or not to abandon T’Pol to use trellium to save the crew that, "I can't try to save Humanity without holding on to what makes me Human.” This will come back to haunt him later as desperation endangers the NX-01’s mission more and more. It’s a good marker here for comparison on what the character goes through.  

Finally, the Trip/Mayweather team-up works well here, and definitely speaks to how much more Travis could have been used as a character throughout the show. In my “season 5” headcanon, when Shran joins the crew, Travis begins to work more with the Andorian and they develop a mentorship between them. Alas, just the realm of fanfiction I still haven’t written so far…

Next Voyage: Hoshi gets a little spotlight as she begins to psychically communicate with an “Exile.” 

(Images taken from the main website for @trekcore; I am happy to remove the images if asked.)

[halcyandaze]

what happened to your deviantart

sadly yeah it's gone now, longer explanation under read more

tldr: AI database scraping is a bitch and man the social media landscape looks pretty bleak rn woof

when deviantart starting pushing the eclipse redesign and got rid of access to the old UI it lost a lot of features and customization options and such that I and many other people enjoyed so it lost a lot of its charm, function, and users. so I stopped using it as much if at all

then when AI generated images started to pop off, the front pages (which always had an issue of always either only showing the same 5 popular artists who were buddy buddy with the site staff or untagged/filtered MS paint sonic inflation or anime foot fetish bases or some crap) became loaded with AI junk instead of, oh y'know, actual art

final straw was when deviantart started making their own AI image generator and made all accounts automatically opt in to having their images possibly used for the AI's database, and if you weren't ok with that, you had to manually go in and find and shut off all those new hidden settings. I felt I couldn't trust deviantart anymore, I liked having my deviantart page still up even if I wasn't active because it was my first social media site where I shared art back when I was 13 years old, a literal whole decade of growth and memories. but I felt I couldn't have that anymore without risking it all being scraped or misused, so I finally deleted a while back. still kind of bummed about it but yeah no deviantart ain't what it used to be

I'm kind of in a similar boat with twitter right now. my posts get no traction, I never see content from the people I signed up to see posts from anymore and instead get nothing but blue checks and scams and ads and bots and AI, you can't even scroll more than 20 minutes without RATE LIMIT EXCEEDED or paying up and joining blue check loser circlejerk club, oh hey did you notice all tweet contents and imbeds prior to 2014 just got nuked off the place of the earth with no warning, they're trying to make their own AI with a database fed by tweets unless you lock up your accounts, but locked accounts are reporting their tweets and activity being seen by people who don't follow them and should have no way to see any of their posts but they show up somehow, anything can get you shadowbanned or blacklisted by The Algorithm, and rumor has it you may have to soon send government ID and sensitive info and images of your face to twitter HQ for verification to squash down the bots (that toooootally didn't get worse after the company got bought by that X obsessed nutjob nah this time he'll totally fix it you guys trust us)

yeah, I totally trust those loser dweebs who completely tanked one of the most popular social media platforms of the past decade in less than 6 months I totally don't see anything bad happening with having my legal government info on the twitter servers

so I'm currently in the process of also deleting my twitters if this shit doesn't improve. if you want to keep up with where I'm most active, go over on my carrd and I keep my links page updated with where I am and what I'm doing on each :]

[cazort]

I have been using LibreOffice and other open source office software exclusively since 2008. That's over 16 years now, and I literally have never needed MS Word, Excel, or PowerPoint. The only irreplaceable app is MS Access, as LibreOffice's database software doesn't do everything it does. If you don't use Access, you'll probably be fine with LibreOffice.

Oh...and if you do more advanced things, like coding in VisualBasic? LibreOffice instead integrates with Python, which is a much better language than VisualBasic in a lot of ways, so when you get to those more expert levels, there are ways in which it is better too.

Download it today. Seriously, there is rarely a good reason to subscribe to MS Office.

if you're subscribed to Microsoft word, you probably received an email recently saying they're upping their prices. Like, a lot. ($9.99/month instead of $6.99)

guess what though? you can log into your account, click Cancel Subscription, and get the option to continue your subscription at the same price WITHOUT their bullshit AI.

That's right, the new, higher price is actually a different subscription that includes AI that everyone is being opted into by force! What a cool and fun product that clearly everyone wants.

you can also choose to buy Word 2024 without AI for a single lump sum that will be yours in perpetuity, with no updates, for one computer.

Check your subscription if you need Word for work! Don't get duped into paying for something you might not even want

[mzu123]

B.Sc. IT & Computer Science Courses After 12th

For students interested in technology and computer applications, choosing the right undergraduate program after the 12th is crucial. Among the most popular choices are BSc. IT after 12th and BSc. Computer Science online programs. With the growing demand for flexible education, many universities now offer online BSc. IT courses and computer science degrees through distance learning. These programs are not only affordable but also aligned with modern industry needs.

Below is a detailed guide to help you explore these options, understand the differences, and select the best university for your goals.

Advantages of Online and Distance Learning

With advancements in digital education, online BSc. IT courses and computer science degrees are now more accessible than ever. Here are the key advantages:

Flexibility: Learn at your own pace and schedule.

Accessibility: Available to students across India, even in remote areas.

Affordable: Often more affordable than traditional on-campus programs.

Industry-Relevant Curriculum: Courses are designed with real-world applications in mind.

UGC-Recognized: Most online programs are approved by the University Grants Commission (UGC), ensuring credibility.

Top Online BSc. IT/CS Programs in India

With increasing demand for online education in technology, several top Indian universities have launched flexible, UGC-approved online and distance learning programs in BSc. IT and Computer Science. These programs are designed to match industry standards and are perfect for students looking for career-oriented degrees without attending traditional classes.

Here are some of the top universities offering quality online/distance tech programs:

Jharkhand State Open University (JSOU)

JSOU offers a well-structured BSc. IT ODL program, perfect for students who want to gain practical and theoretical IT knowledge after 12th.

Key Features:

UGC-DEB recognized curriculum.

Focuses on core IT skills including databases, networking, and programming.

Flexible distance mode allows students from remote regions to pursue higher education.

Study material is updated regularly to meet current IT trends.

Jain University

Jain University, a UGC-recognized and NAAC A++ accredited institution, offers multiple specialized BSc. programs designed for the modern tech landscape:

BSc. in Data Science and Analytics This specialization focuses on in-demand skills like data handling, statistical analysis, and predictive modeling, ideal for those aiming for data-driven careers.

BSc. in Physics, Mathematics, and Computer Science An interdisciplinary program offering strong foundations in logic, programming, and mathematical modeling—perfect for careers in computing, software, or academia.

Highlights of Jain University Programs:

Industry-aligned curriculum and skill-based learning.

Virtual labs, e-tutorials, and continuous assessment.

Career support services, including interview prep and job assistance.

Mizoram University

Mizoram University offers a Diploma in Computer Applications, which is open to students who have completed their 12th grade.

Program Highlights:

Ideal stepping stone for students seeking early entry into IT.

Covers basic programming, MS Office, internet tools, and operating systems.

UGC-recognized and backed by a government-run institution.

Affordable and accessible from anywhere in India.

Note: Apart from these leading programs, many other top Indian universities also offer online/distance BSc. IT and Computer Science programs, such as:

Indira Gandhi National Open University (IGNOU)

Amity University Online

Lovely Professional University (LPU)

Admission Process & Fees

BSc. Computer Science Admission & BSc. IT Admission Process:

Eligibility: 10+2 from a recognized board with Mathematics/Computer Science.

Application: Apply through the university’s official website.

Documents Required: Marksheets, ID proof, and passport-size photos.

Selection: Direct admission or based on merit (no entrance exam for most online programs).

BSc. IT Fees:

Fees vary by university but generally range between ₹10,000 to ₹50,000 per year.

Installment options and scholarships are often available for eligible students.

Career Scope After Graduation

Graduates of an online BSc. IT courses and BSc. Computer Science programs have a wide array of career paths to explore. Here are some options:

Career Options in IT:

IT Support Engineer

Data Analyst

Network Administrator

Cybersecurity Associate

Career Options in Computer Science:

Software Developer

Web/App Developer

Systems Analyst

Machine Learning Engineer

The computer science career landscape is vast, and these degrees lay a strong foundation for both jobs and higher studies.

Conclusion

Choosing the right course after 12th is the first step toward building a successful tech career. Whether you prefer a theoretical foundation with BSc. Computer Science online or practical IT skills through an online BSc. IT course, there are multiple flexible options available. With universities like Jain University and JSOU offering UGC-approved, industry-relevant programs, students can pursue quality education without geographical limitations.

Explore your options, understand your career goals, and take a step toward a future-ready tech career today.

[kandisatechnologies]

Are you Looking Salesforce Data Migration Services In India, USA

Availability of data across CRMs is essential for all business tools to function at their full potential. We are providers of complete Data migration services in India. Our Salesforce data migration services are secure, seamless, reliable and are customized to meet your specific needs. As a leading Salesforce data migration service provider in India, we ensure the smooth transfer of data from your legacy systems to Salesforce, maintaining accuracy and integrity throughout the process. Depending on the complexity, we follow best practices using native tools like APEX Data Loader for straightforward migrations or ETL tools such as Data Loader.io, Informatica Cloud, Jitterbit, IBM DataStage, Pervasive and Boomi for more advanced requirements. Our experts for Salesforce data migration services in India and Salesforce data migration services in the USA are trained to assist you with data extraction and transformation from any existing legacy system such as SugarCRM, SalesforceIQ, Microsoft Dynamics CRM, Siebel and existing data sources such as MS SQL Server, Oracle Database, Flat Files, MS Access etc. as well as from Salesforce.com. Additionally, we provide Data processing services in USA, that ensures the migration and smooth processing of your data across multiple business platforms.

Let's connect: https://www.kandisatech.com/service/data-migration

[slacourses]

The Rise of Remote Data Analyst Jobs: Why an Data Analytics Certification Course is Key in 2025, Excel, VBA, SQL, MS Access, MS Power BI, Tableau. Alteryx, R Programming, Data Analytics Certification Course in Delhi, 110092 - " Get Job in MNC, "Summer Offer 2025" Free Python Data Science Course" by SLA Consultants India,

The remote data analyst job market is experiencing unprecedented growth in 2025, driven by the digital transformation of businesses and the widespread adoption of cloud-based analytics tools. While remote work rates for data analysts have historically lagged behind some other tech professions, recent trends show a sharp increase in remote opportunities, with platforms like FlexJobs and Glassdoor reporting thousands of remote analyst roles now rivaling in-office positions. Industries such as fintech, eCommerce, healthcare technology, SaaS startups, and marketing agencies are particularly active in hiring remote data analysts, leveraging tools like Tableau, Power BI, Python, and cloud-based SQL databases to enable distributed teams to collaborate seamlessly from anywhere in the world.

Data Analyst Course in Delhi

Securing a remote data analyst role in this evolving landscape requires more than just technical know-how—it demands a comprehensive skill set that blends data proficiency with digital collaboration and self-management abilities. Employers are prioritizing candidates with expertise in Excel, VBA, SQL, MS Access, Power BI, Tableau, Alteryx, and R programming, as these tools form the backbone of day-to-day analytics tasks and are referenced in a significant share of job postings. In addition to technical mastery, soft skills such as asynchronous communication, creative problem-solving, and independent project management are increasingly valued, as remote analysts must often work across time zones and deliver insights without direct supervision.

A Data Analyst Training Course in Delhi, such as the one offered by SLA Consultants India in Delhi (110092), is a strategic investment for anyone aiming to thrive in the remote job market. This program covers the full spectrum of in-demand tools—Excel, VBA, SQL, MS Access, Power BI, Tableau, Alteryx, and R programming—through hands-on, project-based learning. The "Summer Offer 2025" further enhances your profile by providing a free Python Data Science module, ensuring you’re equipped for the growing integration of AI and machine learning in analytics workflows. Such certifications not only validate your technical abilities but also demonstrate to employers your commitment to continuous learning and adaptability—qualities essential for remote work success.

Data Analyst Training Course Modules Module 1 - Basic and Advanced Excel With Dashboard and Excel Analytics Module 2 - VBA / Macros - Automation Reporting, User Form and Dashboard Module 3 - SQL and MS Access - Data Manipulation, Queries, Scripts and Server Connection - MIS and Data Analytics Module 4 - MS Power BI | Tableau Both BI & Data Visualization Module 5 - Free Python Data Science | Alteryx/ R Programing Module 6 - Python Data Science and Machine Learning - 100% Free in Offer - by IIT/NIT Alumni Trainer

Beyond technical training, the certification course includes robust career support, such as placement assistance, resume workshops, and mock interviews, directly connecting graduates with top MNCs. As remote data analyst roles continue to expand, those who combine accredited certifications with practical experience and digital collaboration skills will be best positioned to secure high-paying, flexible jobs in 2025’s dynamic market. In summary, a Data Analyst Certification Course in Delhi is not just a pathway to technical mastery—it’s a gateway to career resilience and opportunity in the new era of remote work. For more details Call: +91-8700575874 or Email: hr@slaconsultantsindia.com