#Made before S1E18

[easy-there-leftovers]

As Cool As I Think I Am

Summary: The 5 times Spencer tries to be cool, and the 1 time he doesn't care. 

Alternatively; Spencer never thought he was cool, but he found himself wanting to be just for you. 

[a/n] Recommended to be read after, "A Question Unasked", and is a roundabout sequel to "Mixed Messages."

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem! (mentored by Hotch!) reader| cw: slight spoilers for s1e04, s1e06, s1e08, s1e10, and s1e18 | description of canon-typical violence, timeframe switches because I can, and Spencer being an oblivious, lovesick idiot (can't believe this version of him survived all of this lol) | word count: 7.2k

Amazing. You had called him, “amazing” during the Arizona case and that was all that had been occupying his mind as of late. He had been called brilliant before. Been described as bright, gifted, hell, he was called a genius even. Yet that was the first time anyone had said anything positive about him.

Removed from his intellectual capabilities.

It made him think that there was more that he could offer than just his never-ending stream of knowledge and incessant rambling.

You had seen that in him.

Seen that he was 'amazing.'

But he certainly wasn’t feeling that way now.

“On SWAT we broke shots down into three steps." Spencer nodded as he listened.

"One: Front sight. Focus on the front sight, not on the target. Two: Controlled trigger press. Three: Follow through. After the shot, you come right back to the target. Now, what did you do wrong?”

He sighs with his eyes closed. “I didn't follow through.” 

“Right. You came off the target to see where you hit.”

Hotch had been observing him for the past few minutes to prepare him for his assessment tomorrow, and yet it still felt like he was making no discernable progress. 

He had memorized every trick, every form, every physics interplay that could better the ballistics of his shot and yet he still couldn't do it.

"Hotch, my firearms qualification is tomorrow morning. I barely passed my last one." He had said, putting the gun down.

He feels his unit chief gently push him aside to demonstrate and he gets in position.

"Front sight," He aims his gun.

"Trigger press," He presses down on the trigger, resulting in a gunshot to the target.

"Follow through." He finally says. Keeping his eyes forward with his finger still depressing the trigger until he holsters his gun again.

"You do those three things, you'll hit your target every time." Spencer shakes his head.

He tries to replicate the steps again, but only fails miserably.

He has been doing that. He is doing that. And yet he still keeps missing.

If this wasn't part of his job, maybe he wouldn't have cared all too much about his gun proficiency. Or lack of.

And yet it was.

And it was imperative that he learned it to keep his place on the team, but he had been losing hope.

"They're going to take away my gun."

Sensing his frustration, Hotch empathizes with him.

"Profilers aren't required to carry." He groans at that.

"Yeah, but she does and she's great at it."

God, you must've thought he was pathetic.

Aaron laughs internally at that. He knows exactly who the younger one is talking about.

He had seen the way that Spencer had been watching his 'protege,' and it didn't take being a profiler to know that he was absolutely smitten. If he hadn't known any better, he would've thought that Reid's frustrations stemmed from wanting to seem more experienced in front of you.

And Hotch saw no problem with that, at least for now. On the contrary, the two of you working together seemed to have bolstered his focus on the case. Making the team more efficient with their investigations.

He also thinks that it helped because you seemed to return Reid's sentiment, which is why he had brought you along to help him.

So when Spencer turns and sees you walk in, he blanches.

As much as he really liked your presence (you were friends, right?), he really didn't want to embarrass himself in front of you.

He does that more than enough on his own.

But it seemed like your mentor didn't care.

Hotch says your name with a greeting before excusing himself which tells Spencer that he had planned this from the start. He sighs at that. Chest feeling heavy at the pressure.

He sees you give him a polite smile, which he's come to recognize to be your way of easing him, and he returns it.

"I've heard about your progress." Spencer rolls his eyes at that.

"More like regress. I'm sorry that you have to be here." You snort at his joke but shake your head to assure him.

"I'm right where I want to be. "

His heart fills, even though he knows that not what you meant.

"Why don't you go ahead and show me how you fire that gun?"

He nods and waits for you to put on your ear muffs and goggles before he returns to his position. Calming himself down as he remembers Hotch's words.

Front sight, trigger press, follow through.

He fires three bullets and sees them all hit the whites of the target, which makes him sigh for the umpteenth time.

He puts the gun down and lowers his ear muffs to look at you. Seemingly deep in thought, chin resting on your hand, with eyes travelling slowly up and down his form. Observing.

Scrutinizing.

Assessing.

He can't help but feel naked under your gaze.

He always knew you were smart. The cases you've helped solve were more than proof of just that, but he knew that even you couldn't solve the mystery that was his aim.

He couldn't expect that of you. He relies on you so often already.

He briefly wonders how there's such a different between you and him. You joined the same year, joined the same unit, and worked with the same people on the same cases. How was it that you seemed calmer, cooler, and more prepared for anything more than he ever was?

Spencer firmly believes that intelligence cannot be quantified. And if anyone ever doubted him, he would just point at you and say that you had him beat everywhere despite what any number might have to say otherwise.

Case and point. you had been talking to him about something very important and thoughtful and he had been zoning out the entire time.

"I um,–– what?"

You shake your head and gesture to his gun once more. "Show me your form again."

He takes his gun hesitantly, but readies himself the same way he did earlier. The only exception being that his finger isn't on the trigger.

He hears that telltale, almost bored, 'hm' of yours before you speak again.

"Tuck your chest in."

He's read countless firearm manuals and instructions and he's never heard of that before.

"I'm sorry?"

"Tuck your chest in." You say it again, but it's still not making sense to him.

Unable to voice or even act upon his confusion, he watches as you wait with an impassive face before asking,

"Can I touch you?" He lets out a shaky, but immediate 'yes' and you move to stand beside him.

Given your calm and nonchalant demeanor, he anticipates a more impersonal touch. For lack of a better word. He expects a shove. Maybe a push, to correct him into the right place.

So when your hand comes to softly rest on his stomach, fingers splaying across the expanse of his undefined abdominal muscles, he feels his breath hitch. Upper body slightly crumpling in on himself as he does.

He's surprised he hasn't dropped his gun.

"Dr. Reid,"

He's also surprised that his heart hasn't stopped. With how you said his name, and how close you are– he can already feel your soft breath gracing his ear–

"You're an autodidact, aren't you?"

A self-taught person, he thinks.

"I–– I am." Curse his shaky voice.

"You know, there are some things that can't be learned by just reading textbooks and looking at diagrams."

He feels you tap his stomach and he suddenly feels hot.

"Feel this?" He feels you engulfing his senses, that's for sure. But he nods slowly.

"Remember it. Your center of gravity is different from the subjects in those graphics. So the form you need to take is likewise different."

And just like that, all too quick for his liking, you move away. Hand leaving him just like whatever depraved thought might've been running around his head.

He hesitantly looks back at you, and you gesture to his gun again. Noticing how your free hand is resting on the gun in your holster.

A Glock 19, he remembers.

"Go ahead and shoot like that now."

He does, in the same way that he's compelled to follow your voice like always–

Front sight, trigger press, follow through.

And fires three shots.

To his surprise, he manages to shoot the target's chest. Not quite centered, he admits, but its a vast improvement from his previous attempts.

"I– I did it." He feels the disbelief on his face when he looks at you again. He's expecting you to look just as shocked as he does. After all, you saw just how egregious his aim was. So it surprises him when he turns and is greeted instead with the small smile on your face.

Not the same polite smile that you usually give when you're at work, no. It was a soft, genuine smile, or so he thinks.

"I never doubted your capabilities, Dr. Reid."

He beams under your praise. Blooming like a flower under the warm radiance of the Sun. Once again subject to that brain-freezing sensation from a few weeks ago.

If he just remembers everything you told him today, which wasn't a lot, he theoretically should pass his firearm qualifications with no problem.

And maybe, just maybe, he'll get to see you smile at him again.

After all, he had always wanted for you to look at him. Actually look at him.

Maybe if he passes his test this time, you will.

----

The following day, he doesn’t pass his test.

And he is much more embarrassed now than he ever was before. 

He returns to the bullpen with his head down. Already expecting everyone to know of his failure.

He really didn't want to see if you were one of the ones that had been looking at him.

What he doesn't see is that you were.

But you weren't disappointed at all. You wanted nothing more than to reassure him. To tell him that you could always help him again, and that you didn't mind the extra work if it weren't for the stares that you had been getting back.

Seemingly turning your what-would've-been act of friendship and care into an expectation and responsibility.

"Make a wish!"

"Come on, man. Blow, baby, blow!"

"I thought you were full of hot air, Reid."

"They're trick candles, Spence, okay? They–– They're going to come back on every time."

While Spencer is glad that he’s spending his birthday with actual people, there's one in particular that he's missing.

He also feels sort of embarrassed that he's having a full-on birthday at his workplace. Though he is very thankful that his friends care about him enough to do this.

"Hope you like chocolate." JJ says with a laugh and he is only now recognizing the cake. Previously too caught up in blowing out the undying flames to even notice the festive dessert that supported them.

"Where's the cake from?" The blonde only gives him a look that he can't quite understand, but he is immediately distracted when he feels a draft from where Hotch passes by him.

He looks in the direction he came from and lo and behold, he found the very person he was missing.

He gets up, wanting to at least get a greeting from you, but he's interrupted by Gideon asking him something before he can even try.

"You having fun?"

He knows that he's asking him, but he can also see how his eyes aren't quite addressing him back. Instead, looking up a few inches above him.

He gives a tight lip smile when he realizes just what he's looking at.

God, he felt pathetic.

“Yes, definitely. I am definitely– having fun.” 

"Make a wish?" He asks another question and that’s when Spencer sees what he's doing now.

Ever since he first exhibited signs of interest in you, he knew that his mentor would be the first to clock them. He couldn't even hide it if he tried. If there was anyone on the team that he knew would figure it out this quick, it would've been him.

He expected it.

What he didn't expect was for Gideon to show disapproval for it.

For you.

Back during the Arizona case, he remembers how Gideon had interrupted you when you were explaining something. And that's when he realized you were going to have a hard time.

You were going to have a hard time because of his own rapidly growing interest.

Because he froze when you said one nice thing about him, then proceeded to wow him with your observational skills.

He didn't want Gideon to think that you were being a distraction to him, so he instead chose to show just how well the two of you had worked together. Even going as far as to double down and reiterate your statements to convince him of that.

And it seemed to have worked, but now he wasn't so sure.

"Can I take this hat off?"

He wanted nothing more than to do just that before you notice him, but his mentor just shook his head.

"I wouldn't."

He doesn't know it's because Gideon knew you found it cute.

By the time that he notices the elder doesn't really care about the conversation anymore, probably too distracted by the TV behind him, his gaze finally focuses on you.

The very person that he had intended to talk to.

The one he intended to talk the entire time before he got sidetracked.

You still hadn't turned to look at him though, or make an attempt to greet him. Not even a laugh to mock him for the huge, 'Happy Birthday' hat that sat on his head to make him look like a dunce!

Instead, you were staring at something. Or rather, someone.

He turns his head to look just where you were and there he sees his unit chief, your mentor, on the receiving end of your intense gaze.

Just like always.

He shakes his head and decides to just go talk to you, but he is once again interrupted. This time by Hotch with a solemn expression on his face.

“Sorry guys. Party’s over.”

You immediately spring into action at his words, completely missing his hand that was just about to come up to wave at you. He tightens his lips into a thin smile.

Spencer's starting to doubt Morgan and Elle's words.

–––––––––––––

The sentiment is rectified when he finally receives the one thing he had been looking forward to on his birthday, and it wasn't the gift.

Not even the greeting.

It was being able to be in your presence. Being able to spend time with you. The you that wasn't so stressed or strict about work, or the case, or your boss.

It was just him and you. You and him. And the scarf that seemed to warm him just as much as his heart warmed at the sight of your smiling face.

God, what he would do to have this with you forever.

Spencer is well aware that likes you.

Hell, even the rest of team knows it by now, but he's starting to fear that his unconscious mind is more aware of that than his conscious one.

Case and point, he had been having dreams.

Nightmares, actually.

Nightmares that he can't help but think will happen if he takes his eyes off of you for even a second.

Morgan had asked him earlier when he was making coffee if something was causing him to lose sleep. If you had been causing him to lose sleep, he had asked with a teasing smirk.

And while normally he would've flushed and stumbled at his implication that a night of you had been keeping him up, he admits to what's been plaguing his mind.

Naturally, he doesn't tell him the full nature of his night terrors. But his friend doesn't need him to. Not with the way that his eyes try to find yours every chance he gets, focus going in and out of the conversation like an adjusting lens.

Spencer fears that one day, no matter how strong or smart or clever you are, it's his negligence that'll place you on the receiving end of a killer's weapon.

And that there's nothing that he can do to stop them from landing the finishing blow.

He knows that it's not rational, but he also knows that dreams are rarely, if not never, rational. Studies show that around seventy to eighty-percent of dreams contain bizarre or irrational elements. This included unusual settings, impossible scenarios, and illogical developments to be featured in the unconscious brain.

Doesn't mean that he's alright with seeing it so often, though.

What's worse is that he knows that it can very much happen during the BAU cases. And that he can't even prepare himself for that scenario.

He's practically deadweight on the field with his still erratic aim and bambi legs, he's surprised you aren't sick of him yet.

He laughs a bit at the thought. Clutching a portion of his scarf—the only thing that has been keeping the nightmares at bay— as he promises himself that he won't leave your side.

Especially not in the confounding forest of McAllister, Virginia.

Which is why he's stuck in his current position.

“Dr. Reid, I need you to check back downhill and see if the deputies have returned.” He looks at you incredulously.

“What? No! I can’t leave you here– ” 

He doesn't know what exactly you found in the abandoned house, but he knew that it wasn't wise to leave you with no one but a high schooler.

You might think he's not all that different from the kid, but he's at least trained to be an FBI agent.

“We need the rest of the sheriffs and the crime scene team here.”

You looked dead into his eyes, yet he still didn't relent. No matter how reasonable your request was.

In any other situation, he might've thought you were cool. That you were handling the situation like a natural, and that you were very responsible for taking charge when he was there with his heart threatening to beat out of his chest.

But he didn't want to leave you. Not when you looked like you've just seen a ghost.

He grasped your shoulders, firmly but gently, and practically begged for you to come with him.

Stating that what you were feeling was a completely normal physiological response. That your body was sending neropinephrine to your brain to help regulate the stress and compensate for whatever was happening inside of you and that it would be safer to stay together––

But when he sees you ice him out– concealing all remaining traces of shock or fear or worry– he freezes.

His eyes raked across your features, biding his time. Committing every micro-reaction, every hair out of place, every faux-calm movement of your eyes before he had to let you go with a nod. Leaving hurriedly to find anyone that can help and constantly looking back at you to assure his consciousness that you were fine, and that you would be fine.

When he saw that the other sheriff wasn't there yet, much less anyone for that matter, he immediately went back. Running uphill fast to get to you.

To make sure that you were alright, that you were alive, and that no one was coming to hurt you.

Which is how he found himself here.

Gun held to his head by the very high schooler that, he thought, wouldn't have been of help if another dangerous person had shown up.

When you raised your hands and dropped your gun in surrender, he was scared of what would happen to you both if he didn't act quick.

But he was even more scared of what could happen to you if he doesn't talk his way out.

Fast.

So that's what he did.

––––––––––

He didn't get to check on you, he realizes.

He knew you were able to knock the kid out, he was there when he helped you distract him, but he must’ve been wheezing because he was the first one to get ushered out and checked on.

He wants to tell them to check on you. That you had landed pretty badly when the unsub was able to push you back, but he can hardly even hear his own thoughts.

The siren of the police car, the medic talking to him, the rest of the team discussing the case's outcome, and his own heart in his ears were simply too much for him.

By the time that things had settled down, he notices that you still aren't there with him. He worries and whips his head around wildly before his eyes find yours already looking at him.

Doing so with an expression of regret or grief etched onto your face.

He sighs in relief, and gives you the best smile he can give to assure you that he's okay despite having been worried sick.

He needed you to know that he was fine. That it wasn’t your fault. That he was glad you're okay too.

That he was so impressed with what you had done despite the circumstances, and that you had handled the situation way better than he knew anyone on the team ever could.

So when you seem to turn away from him, he briefly wonders if something was actually wrong.

He tries to look back on what might've happened. Wonders if there's something he didn't see when he came back, or when he was away––

And that's when he realizes something.

Could he have put you in more danger when he came back to check on you? That he had accidentally sabotaged your takedown?

He sighs. He must've looked so pathetic in front of you getting grabbed like that–– but he's not sorry.

He had been doing that for your safety and for his own peace of mind–– he wasn't going to apologize for caring about you.

He'll make it up to you somehow.

The next time you go on another case together, which you two inevitably will, he'll make it up to you.

That, he promises.

He actually doesn't get to work with you again. So he decides that he can make it up to you by narrowing down the unsub's identity.

In fact, he hasn't seen you at all since the team first arrived at the crime scene.

You had been working with Hotch and Morgan on more field operations, leaving him with Elle and Penelope doing background checks on possible suspects. And while he wasn't with you, he'd like to think that he's still enjoying the company.

Well, that's what he would like to think.

He has no problems working with Elle. She was a nice colleague that seemed to occasionally humor his rants and got the job done quickly. And Penelope was someone that the both of you really got along with. Occasionally having this back and forth unique to the three of you.

But they weren't you.

Still. What he thought about you can wait later. He still has to think about his escape route if the two break out into a fight.

Right now, the three of them had staked out one Michael Russo who they anticipated would call his hitman, the suspected Unsub. They were hoping to get a name from what they could pick up from his end of the call, and they did.

Problem was,

"Russo's got eleven associates named Vincent." Spencer raised his brows at that.

Vincent is a name of Latin origins. He shouldn't be surprised that the mob had a handful of people with that name, but it was kind of too on the nose at this point.

"Oh, make that ten. Vincent Cellito died last summer. But here's something––Vincent Sartori."

He really wants to find this guy, so he chooses to keep looking through the list. Ignoring the growing tension between the two girls.

"Currently doing six at Dannemora for racketeering."

Spencer then speaks up again, "How about this Perotta? There's not much on him."

Garcia makes quick work to pull up what seemed to be deleted records and that's where they find something interesting.

"Alcohol addiction at 14, violent outbursts, assaults,–– Once threw a Molotov cocktail at someone sitting in their car." She can't believe what she's reading.

"Several notations for aggression," He adds, but this is where he sees something truly wrong.

"He once scheduled a visit to an infirmary to gain access to a–– boy who looked at him for too long?"

He really didn't want to meet this guy.

"No fear, no remorse, quick temper. And he was smart enough to stay off the radar as an adult," Elle interprets. "Paranoid personality. Could be our guy."

And he really didn't want you to meet him either.

All the evidence is stacking up against him though, so you just might have to. He just wished that nothing bad would happen when you did.

––––––––––

While right now they weren't sure if he was the unsub, he was definitely someone who fit their profile. He saw some LEO's bring in a guy who had essentially been cuffed at every limb, accompanied by Hotch and Gideon, but he had yet to see the others.

He sees Morgan, who is walking alongside Elle (she went to see what all the commotion was about) but with who he sees next, he feels his stomach drop. Heart rate spiking in contrast to an all time high that he's practically sure he has tachycardia.

"What happened to you!?"

He got up from his seat to run over but you just shake your head.

You had come back with your clothes and hair in disarray, a bleeding nose, and a a busted lip. A complete disparity to the normally clean-cut and professional look that you had strived to maintain.

Even when you had been tackled to the ground a few cases back, the damage wasn't nearly as bad as this.

It's Derek that answers his question for him though.

"Perotta hit your girl up in the head, Reid." He chooses to ignore the joke. Too worried as he tries to check on your head but you just softly squeeze his hands to reassure him before you push them away.

Still not looking at him as you finally speak.

"It wasn't that bad. He hesitated. It could've been worse."

He doesn't like your answer.

If you had just been hit in the head and yet your nose is bleeding, that was a clear sign of a concussion. And the cut on your lip had to be from a fall. On asphalt or onto another material, it didn't matter to him since both are just as bad.

As he expresses that, you just tell him to drop it and then move away from him.

Before he can say more however, Hotch comes back into the room with his usually stern expression. A bit of worry lacing his tone, Spencer notes, as he orders you.

"Go home."

He's staring you down, but it seemed you had a lot more to say to that.

"Sir Hotchner, I would be of much more use in here. It is imperative that all available resources are focused on the retrieval of James Baker." He sighs because you're right, but that doesn't seem enough to satisfy you.

The boy-genius hates it when you use reason to get your way.

"Fine. Help Reid and the others with the evidence. We can narrow down his area of operation from there. They should be arriving soon."

You shake your head adamantly. "Sir, I can handle the interrogation--"

"No you can't!"

Spencer surprises himself with his outburst, but you don't even turn to look at him.

It's Hotch that gives him a very pointed stare though before continuing,

"Reid is right, agent. We'll handle the interrogation, so please busy yourself here." He says it with a finality that is indicative of his departure but you stop him one last time. Hand going up to rest on your mentor's collar.

He sees you gesture to your own, and Spencer hears an intention in your voice that he can't quite understand.

"Let's not give him a weapon, sir. He's pretty strong."

He sees his boss nod, and he takes off his tie. Putting the cloth into your awaiting hand, and you grip it out of instinct.

Reid zones out as he sees this interaction in disbelief. Did you normally touch the others like this?

You had completely brushed off his concern, not even looking at him. And yet when it was your unit chief that told you to do so, you had simply followed?

He thought he was starting to become an exception to you, but had he been reading the signs wrong? It could very much be a possibility as he was never good at doing so.

Even later when he had been sifting through the bags from the suspect's van, you still didn't respond to him. Even going as far as to ignoring Penelope's offer to watch the tapes they had found in Perotta's van. Shaking your head, 'no' with a faraway look in your eyes.

Just what had exactly happened while he wasn't by your side?

At this point, Spencer’s convinced that you would never like him.

If not for you having eyes on literally anyone else but him, then definitely because he had disappointed you. Desecrated the honor that came with being an FBI agent.

Just because he had been distracted.

A whirlwind of emotions had been flurrying inside him since the very beginning of this case, but he swears that he had never meant for this.

He doesn't even remember how it happened. Which baffled him, given his memory. But he thinks it's because he couldn't have cared less about the past few hours.

He had been stuck babysitting Lila only because you had told him so. Entrusted him with her because you thought that he was the best person to guard her, to comfort her.

He didn’t know it was because you had a feeling he’d be safer by her side.

And some part of him was flattered that you had said all this about him. Especially when all Lila would hear from him were endless praises of your name, of your work, and your caring nature.

But another part of him felt ignored. Pushed aside.

He doesn't know when it had happened, but Hotch had stopped pairing you together some cases ago. Saying something about you needing physical training, though he sincerely doubted that.

He thought that things were going well between you two. He had just been trying to find the perfect window where you would see him in a good enough light.

A good enough light that would make you say 'yes' to going on a date with him.

He didn't even care that the pretty blonde was interested in him. He only agreed because you stressed her safety more than any other target thus far. But the attention that she was giving him?

That was all that he wanted from you.

All he'd been wanting for months.

And when he had kissed her, all he could think about was you. How it would've felt if it was you in his arms, how you would react if it had been you that he was touching.

But then immediately after, how you would react to him kissing another girl.

God, he was pathetic.

He knew that you had been having a hard time lately. And he also knew that it had a lot to do with your work, how he did his, and his safety. That was all you ever stressed about when you were with him.

If he was safe.

You'd think he'd learn that by now, but he hasn't. Which is why even when he knew all this, his heart still ached as he sees you cry into Morgan's arms. Sobbing like no tomorrow. All because of something he did.

All because he took all your hard work, that had been focused on keeping him alive, and essentially throwing it right back at your face.

His negligence did that.

And he supposes that now, he can't do anything to get into your good graces anymore. Not when Derek Morgan seemed to better at doing his job as a federal agent, and his job as your friend.

When he finally gets changed into dry clothes and enters Lila's house, he doesn't miss the way that you turn from him. He also doesn't miss the glare the other agent was giving him. Nor the careful hand that had been rubbing up and down your arm.

Something that he wished he could've been doing instead.

––––––––––

God, he wanted to be anywhere but here, considering this is where it all went downhill.

"Did you give Lila Archer a collage?" Gideon had started the interrogation, so even if he did want to leave, he couldn't.

"What?"

"There's a photographic collage above Lila Archer's sofa. She says you gave it to her."

But the faster that they could get this done, the faster he could apologize to you.

"So? I didn't make the damn thing." Parker had laughed out, clearly not comprehending the severity of the situation.

"So you just happened to give her a work of art containing most of her life in it?" Spencer pushed but was surprised to see his ex-classmate seemingly have no recollection of the situation at all.

Something was wrong.

If it wasn't him, then who––?

"I––no, no. Look, I lied. I just wanted her to like me. I met her here, and she was a fan of art. Someone gave me the piece to give to her, but I told her it was from me."

It can't be––

"I said I found it, and I thought she'd love it."

"And who gave it to you?" Morgan had finally asked.

"Her name's Maggie Lowe. She uh––She works on Lila's show."

When Spencer hears this, he immediately goes to call you on his phone. Maggie Lowe had gone to Juilliard with Lila and was the production assistant that he swore he saw go in and out of her trailer.

If he wasn't so distracted, he would've fucking noticed that.

But his phone doesn't even ring for a few moments before the call is declined.

What the fuck was happening?

Before he could ask anyone else, he heard Derek speak up.

“Sweet girl, listen to me. We have a name, and it’s ‘Maggie Lowe.’ We’re on our wa—" Spencer tries to talk to you through Morgan's phone, but is knocked off balance when the man turns around in shock.

"Christ man—we're on our way back over there, okay? Stay put and we’ll let Hotch and JJ know.” 

"Let me talk to her!" He practically begs, but before anyone could even understand what he was saying, the call is ended from your side.

"Reid, what the hell were you trying to do?"

He's shocked at his own actions too, but that's not what's on his mind right now.

"She dropped my call but she answered yours? And since when did you start calling her that?"

He knew it wasn't fair, especially after what he had done, but just when did you and him happen?

"Since you started being a dumbass. Get over yourself, kid."

Everyone then started making their way to the two SUV's parked outside, but Spencer took the one that Morgan was driving.

He wasn't done with this conversation.

He tries to call you again, but this time, it looks like the line is busy. What was going on, where were you? He tries Lila's phone, even though he's sure she won't pick up and nothing either.

He has half a mind to ask Morgan to call you, in case you were just being petty and ignoring him, but he feels his phone vibrate. He suddenly hears his phone ring, and he hurriedly answers without checking the caller ID.

Hoping that it would be you on the other hand as he called out your name.

"Nope, sorry hon, it's me." It was Garcia's voice, but it sounded like she was shaking. Sensing the urgency in her voice, he instinctively puts his phone on speaker.

"Reid, I need you to listen to me very carefully— I've already alerted officials in the area, but your unsub? Is in Lila Archer's house."

You can't keep doing this, he thinks. You can't keep scaring him like this, because he's starting to feel so sick.

He looks to his friend in the driver's seat and sees him nod when they make eye contact. Speeding up as they thank Penelope before she ended the call.

At this point, he could care less with how pathetic he might've looked. No longer caring about how uncool you thought he was, or whatever might've been going on between you and Morgan, or if you still had a crush on your boss— none of that.

They had left you behind with Lila and no one else.

Spencer had always feared that one day, no matter how strong or smart or clever you are, it's his negligence that'll place you on the receiving end of a killer's weapon. And that there's nothing that he can do to stop them from landing the finishing blow.

If the reason you were alone and held captive by some psychotic shooter was because he had pissed you off enough to even dismiss his help?

He might never forgive himself for it.

When they arrive, he immediately gets out of the car. Ready to run in and ambush Maggie by himself if he has to when Lila runs into his arms. Holding a gun in her hand as if it were a bomb.

A Glock 19 that he's seen you use since his first official cases on the team.

He notices Morgan, Elle, and Gideon were already out, but Hotch and JJ have still yet to arrive.

He knows that he should wait until further instructions. That there wasn't a protocol for this specific situation. Or maybe there was, but his IQ of 187 had always been slashed down to 60 whenever you were involved.

When he hears a gun fire from inside the house, he's the first one that starts running.

He's thankful that he wasn't alone when he did though.

By the time that Maggie had been apprehended, you were already well on your way to the nearest hospital. According to the clock from inside your room, and the news report that had been playing, a full twelve hours at the very least had passed since then.

You tried to remember what had happened. Tried to remember how you screamed for help once you had subdued her. How she shot you when you tackled her.

Probably with the intention to kill you, then herself had you not talked her out of it.

You groan as you feel the blooming pain in your side. Probably from the GSW that you're going to have to note in your action report.

And then you remembered how you realized what you felt for Spencer and the rest of the team.

You shake your head despondently.

When you look back on every situation where you had essentially put yourself on the line for his sake, you notice that you had really been doing that out of your own volition.

That you had been doing it because you didn't want him getting hurt.

You just didn't like that the the team was turning it into some sort of responsibility.

And sure. Maybe the others were complicit in pairing you up, or guilty for giving you odd looks, but they probably wouldn't have done that if it wasn't something you were already going to do.

God, you felt so pathetic.

You don't think you can handle looking at Spencer now. Not after your existential crisis, and certainly not after what you said before he left.

But luck has a way, so it seems, to constantly elude you.

You note this as you see the very man that you had been thinking of slowly opening the door and perking up when he sees your eyes on him.

Well, as perked up as he could be. Given the circumstances.

"How uh—, How are you? A-Are you...okay?"

You take in how he looks when he asks. Dark rings encircling his eyes, (he had been up all night waiting for you), usually neat hair in a mess (he had been running his hands through them nonstop), and shirt all crumpled from being hunched over for so long (a different one, because he just couldn't stand the vague scent on chlorine in his old one.)

Your heart sinks at the sight and you beckon him closer with your strong hand. Echoing his question.

"Are you okay, Dr. Reid?"

He lets out a shaky breath when he finally hears your soft voice again, slowly approaching you as he does. He was so worried that the last words he would hear from you would be your disappointment, but he persists.

"Can you please answer the question? I don't like it when you pretend like you're okay when you're obviously not."

His hand finds its way to trace little patterns on the back of yours. Occasionally looking up at to see if he was hurting you, before continuing when he sees that he isn't. Feeling too shy to do anything more.

You roll your eyes at the gesture. Flipping his hand to rest on the hospital bed and slipping yours on top of his. Giving it a soft squeeze.

"I could be better." You then squeeze his hand again. "Is this what you were trying to do?"

He thinks for a while, as if not really understanding your question, before nodding vigorously.

You smile at the sight but then feel your regret from a few hours ago come rushing back.

"I'm really sorry. For...everything." You don't think he knows what you're apologizing for, but you do it anyway.

If not now, when?

Spencer laughs a little at that but shakes his head. "Morgan told me about what you said. Back at Lila's. Well, more like he told everyone while we were waiting for you to wake up."

You nod. Suddenly feeling guilty for trying to make contact so you try to let go, but he only entangles your fingers once more. Intertwining them as much as he can since this is the closest that he can afford to have you right now.

He feels his lips tightening into a thin smile before he says what's been haunting him for the past few hours.

"I'm sorry that you had to deal with me for so long. I never meant to burden you like that or make your job harder."

"No, Spencer please," you start, rubbing the only part of his hand that you could reach with your thumb.

"You were never a burden. I was just—caught up in a bunch of things."

He doesn't miss how your usual eloquence evades you. Which gives him a bit of an idea as to how unscripted and vulnerable you were being with him right now.

And as much as he should hate this for you, he'd love it if you would learn to be a bit more vulnerable in front of him. Even if it was a departure from your usually starched blazers, pressed blouses, and clean-cut exterior.

He still thought you were cool just like this.

"Have I ever told you that I thought you were really cool?" You weakly snort at that.

"If by 'cool,' you mean constantly worrying about how everything could go wrong, then yeah. I'm super cool."

He shakes his head at that, but it looked like you weren't done.

"I think you looked cooler, though. Especially when you were next to the pool trying to dry your gun. You looked like a wet rat."

He groans at the mention but you continue to tease him.

"Hey, you were a handsome wet rat. Still a rat, but... you know. From Vegas. Arguably not as bad as the ones from New York. Now though, you're a handsome dry rat."

Now that, he just wines at. You weren't being fair.

How could you make him go through all this and then say that?

Did you know what kind of effect you have on him?

The two of you continue to sling back jokes at the other, a common thing you used to do before things went south. And just enjoying each other's presence.

Holding his hand as you absentmindedly started massaging it. He didn't even notice how his hand had been shaking since the moment you first held onto it.

He was so so glad you were alive. That you were still here, with him. And there's no place he would rather be than where you were.

"So. How about you start telling me what you've been up to while I've been knocked out, hm? What have you learned, genius?"

He's learned a quite a lot, while you were away.

He learned that he should probably encourage you to have more breaks. Learned that you should both talk to each other, and everyone, a bit more. And he learned that you two weren't so different after all.

He's also learned how much he really liked your smile, your laugh, your soft touch, and the way that his name fell from your lips.

He doesn't tell you any of this, however.

Opting to instead tell you about the numerous facts he's picked up during the case, and how much he hated Hollywood.

[a/n] And with that, this marks the end of this specific timeline! I've honestly loved writing with this reader's specific personality in mind, and I'm looking forward to how she'll mellow out when she learns to be more honest.

I have a few ideas for one shots regarding this specific dynamic, but if you enjoyed it as much as I did, please tell me what you thought about this short series! And if you have any idea on what you'd like to see next from these dumbasses, send an ask my way!

Thank you so much for liking them thus far.

Like my work? Consider tipping me!!

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

Miami Vice S1E18: The Maze

Tubbs is sent undercover to save hostages in an abandoned hotel.

This is absolutely one of those Vice episodes where you are given two versions of the truth and are asked to be discerning enough to realize which one is real. Vice likes doing this a lot with music-- you see something happening on screen that's contradicted by lyrics or musical tone, and you have to figure out if what you're seeing is the lie or whether it's what you're hearing. In The Maze, we are presented with a spoken truth (some people aren't "good enough" to be cops, the world is hard and dangerous, a kid with a gun can't be thought of as a kid ever again) and a witnessed truth (a "bad cop" is suffers no consequences because he's a cop, people you think of as disposable or even frightening are worth protecting, a kid with a gun may be dangerous but that doesn't make him not a child) to striking, devastating effect. There's a distinct sense in this episode that our protagonists are playing proscribed black and white roles in a drama they're not quite ready to see shades of gray in yet-- later in the series their disenchantment with the justice system will come, but in this point in the series, they don't quite see what we, the audience see.

I started this one thinking "it's always weird seeing other cops outside of the main squad," and then one of them immediately died

Womp womp

The two "new" cops, Tim and Dickie, are talking about how they finally made some "real arrests," and how they usually can't get charges to stick because something-something-the-law, and that it's because of guys like them that the area they're in is starting to get "cleaned up"

Immediately Sonny and Rico correct them, very gently explaining the concept of community organizing, and pointing out that whatever "clean up" they've seen happen recently has nothing to do with the cops and everything to do with the people who live here deciding to stand up for themselves and invest in their neighborhoods

This is the thesis of the episode

From here on in it becomes a split between Tim's tough-on-crime view (what's said) and Sonny and Rico's maybe-heavier-policing-isn't-the-answer view (what's shown)

The dancing guy, Pepe, is played by a choreographer known by the real-world name of Shabba-Doo

Sonny pours water on him because Sonny is an asshole

There is a scene in which Switek offers Zito lunch while Zito tries to pick up a woman through the window of the bug van; both of them tell the other they're "pitching" and I. I have questions

Tim, the asshole cop whose partner got shot, suggests that the best way to catch the criminals that killed Dickie is to just go into a building full of squatters guns blazing, random innocents be damned

Sonny glares at him like he is a leopard and Tim is a plate of ground beef

They decide to, instead, send Tubbs undercover in to see if he can clear the squatters out and get them to safety before they go after the Escobars. In order to do this they dress Tubbs up as the world's most beautiful filthy transient. He looks like he should play Jesus in a modern version of Jesus Christ Superstar

It should be mentioned that the ~*scary dangerous building*~ the homeless people and the Escobars are in is a dilapidated hotel owned by a rich white guy who's on the phone about golf when we meet him, and it turns out the only thing really scary about it is that the people inside are living in terrible conditions because they are poor. In case, y'know, other parts of the episode weren't already clear enough on the whole "maybe the system is broken, actually" angle.

After Tubbs is in the hotel for approximately three and a half minutes, Tim charges across the street with his gun because it's "ridiculous" that this is "taking so long"

He completely ruins the operation and causes an immediate gunfight between the police and the Escobars to break out; Tubbs and the rest of the squatters are taken hostage as a result. Tim is not punished for this-- Castillo says that if he "didn't need every man," Tim would be sent home, but that's it.

Let's be very clear, this is a perfect example of why the whole "one bad apple ruins the whole bunch" thing is 100% true about the police

You get one Tim the Asshole on your squad and people fucking die

Actor Joe Morton, who I best know as Henry Deacon from Eureka, but who others may know better as the SkyNet Scientist from Terminator 2, plays hostage negotiator Jack Davis. He has a big ol' stick up his ass, but he's kind of hot anyway?

Sonny smokes like twelve cigarettes in the course of about 3 minutes, and then goes outside because he can't stand to look at Tim any longer. Castillo makes an attempt to comfort him in his extremely Castillo way (he's the one who says the Escobars, who are a bunch of teenagers, "stopped stopped being kids when they started using guns"), which does not seem to calm Sonny down much. He tells him the best thing he can do for Tubbs is "be cool," and then there's a lovely little match on Sonny's face and Rico's face, both looking off to the side, both looking worried.

The graffiti in this episode slays me

666 is COMIN

Why ME

Rico plays with the child hostages, and a teenage girl dances to the music playing inside her head. I genuinely feel like this is one of the saddest episodes of Vice-- we see the squalid conditions these people are forced to live in, they're humanized and made very real feeling, even if they don't have many lines, and you know that even if they all get out alive, nothing good is going to come of it, because they've been living illegally inside an unused building and the police will have to remove them, leaving them all completely homeless. There are multiple shots throughout the episode of the beach-- its crystal blue water, the sun, the pristine sand, palm trees-- through the broken windows of the collapsing hotel. The squatters are bereft in an ostensible paradise, completely disconnected from the glamorous world outside their crumbling walls.

Sonny suggests that they pinpoint the exact location of the hostages; Tim asks why they should bother when it was the hostages who "got them into this."

Yes Tim

Definitely not you, fuckwad

When Davis negotiates to let the small children hostages go, Jaime, one of the Escobars, argues with one of the older boys that "they're just kids," and that they should do as the police said and let them free. Jaime appears to be about fourteen.

Sonny insists he go in to find the hostages; Davis stands behind him shaking his head no at Castillo. Sonny goes in to find the hostages. He climbs over a fence and through a hole in the wall in his loafers and chinos.

When Sonny figures out where the hostages are located, they send in what appears to be the entire national guard of Florida. The Escobars, it should be noted, are five teenagers.

At the end of the episode, approximately twenty adult men with machine guns point their weapons at one teenage boy. He breaks down in tears and falls to the ground, because no matter what Castillo said, he is ultimately a frightened child.

The episode ends on a freeze frame of Sonny and Rico looking at each other, silent, with the darkening blue sky behind them.

[kiki-strike]

In S1E18 Zuko goes “for the last time I’m not playing the tsungi horn!!1!1” which is funny by itself but even funnier when you think about. That means Zuko knows how to play the tsungi horn. Which means that sometime before he was banished his parents (his mother let’s be realistic) made him learn the avatar equivalent of a fucking sousaphone 😭😭

Just imagine baby Zuko going ok… today I have sword lessons… math tutoring after lunch… ah SHIT I have band practice today

[janitorjuliann]

hospital worker reacts! a self-indulgent list of the funniest thing from every episode of season 1 of House MD

for context im an admin worker specifically in outpatients, so my knowledge of american inpatient wards is minimal at best

LETS GO

s1e01: this is bc i work in australian public health, but the idea of tenure as something a doctor can achieve

s1e02: the sheer concept of consultants searching for an absconded patient. where are your wardies and security officers??

s1e03: these people are highly qualified specialists and theyre... running their own pathology tests. do they literally have not a single patient on the ward they could be seeing??

s1e04: this one is funny bc its true but cuddy making all the med students swab rooms for infection because "its not like theyre doing anything else"

s1e05: dr wilson is MARRIED? to a WOMAN??

s1e06: literally sooooo funny when they break into a house to investigate a patient's history. i cant even get my registrars to check their emails.

s1e07: patients will tell anyone their personal fucking business. like they tell me, the person literally just trying to book their appointment, about their parents dying or their domestic violence incidents. doctors returning those details with some deep meaningful life lesson? HAHAHAHA.

s1e08: this isnt funny but the woman getting snippy and aggressive about her sons treatment literally gave me anxiety palpitations its too accurate

s1e09: in this episode, chase schedules non-emergency neuro/vasc surgery for. later the same day. i am DYING to know what the theatre schedules and e-board look like at this hospital.

s1e10: this was just a good episode i guess nothing to say here. go rabies!

s1e11: genuinely cant believe its taken eleven episodes for someone to deck house. a nurse probably wouldve done it by now if nurses existed in this hospital for longer than 10 seconds at a time.

s1e12: wilson realising he cant go to the monster truck rally with house is genuinely the most heartwrenching acting of the show so far

s1e14: the way these people act about transplant lists is SO funny. i have minimal interaction with this so im gonna go ahead and assume every one of my dialysis kidney transplant patients went through something exactly this dramatic

s1e15: THEY BROUGHT A PIG ONTO THE WARD HHDNDMSMMFFMG

s1e16: the woman refusing surgery for her 30 pound tumour because. she doesn't want a cosmetic scar. ive had this exact conversation i think.

s1e17: house full on tortures a patients in this one. i once had a complaint filed against me because i told an inpatient her ultrasound had been rescheduled.

s1e18: looming spectre of privatised healthcare vs my personal dislike of house's actions FIGHT

s1e19: this is my favourite episode so far bc it has a bed manager as a character. "if she dies at least we'll have a bed free" is also something ive heard multiple times.

s1e20: nothing to say abt the plot but house and wilsons little freak relationship is giving me life tbqh

s1e21: the patients writing "not this leg" before a possible amputation made me v happy!! a case of truth being funny enough for television

s1e22: aaaand one last patient assault to round out the season! i just dont understand how he isnt physically in jail!

final verdict im obsessed with this show im gonna watch all three hundred seasons

[le-amewzing]

Doubtful

Still on a Cloneling kick, yo. B3 *Note: This is set before s1e18, "No Escape."

Fic: "Doubtful" [FFN] [AO3]

Pairings/Characters: pre?Starling/Jake's Evil Clone, Captain Valor, & some OC heroes

Rating: K+

Words: ~6,090

Additional info: romance, angst, friendship, 3rd person POV

Summary: Starling thinks it's a useless endeavor, questioning the "prisoner" the League has in holding, because there's nothing bonding them. But the League's impatience could prove otherwise….

      Starling is glad. Not ecstatic or overjoyed…all right, maybe even "glad" is pushing it. But she's relieved, nevertheless, once she brings in Jake's clone and the League of Heroes accepts her back into their ranks.

      This ugly chapter of betrayal is closed and behind her. She can get back to life as it's supposed to be.

      …or, that's what she tells herself, at first. After bringing the clone in, Starling knows some changes have to be made. Valor and the other heroes ask her to renew her dedication to the League, but, at the same time, Starling makes a promise to herself, to temper her thoughts of Jake and of the Maddens.

      After all, the last thing she needs is for the League to suspect her again and to go digging things up. Or worse, to learn the truth about Jake's clone.

      But those first few days back in Centropolis, back at the League, are surprisingly quiet. The days roll into a week, and several more days pass without consequence. Then Captain Valor summons her to his office before the end of her second week back.

      Valor's as well-rested as ever, and he's comfy behind a cherry wood desk almost as red as his outfit. He smiles when Starling enters and motions for her to near, since he doesn't keep chairs on the other side for guests. "Starling, good to see you. You're well, I take it?"

      "I'm good, thank you," she replies, hands folded politely behind her back. Truth be told, the pose is partially out of politeness, partially to keep her fidgeting under control. She still doesn't know what to make of him after he issued the Jake-or-banishment ultimatum. Starling once thought she knew Valor, she's always looked up to him, but now…

      He sits up straight in his comfy, leather-backed chair and temples his fingers atop his desk. "That's good." Valor takes a breath and, still smiling, adds, "Look, Starling, I'm going to cut to the chase. The League's decided—"

      She internally flinches. A part of her thinks the "League" hasn't decided anything, because she's part of the League and hasn't been included in any decision since her return. But she stills her tongue, worried about what's to come.

      "—that it's dissatisfied with just holding on to the villain Chaos."

      Starling blinks. Her mind goes blank. …but…they're heroes…right? "What do you mean?" she asks. She's never seen or heard of them doing anything evil and she's not about to partake in any such plan.

      He cocks his head to the right in a fatherly manner. "Don't worry, Starling. We know you're fond of him."

      She frowns. But it's useless to sell them on the lie that she's suddenly fallen out of love with Jake.

      Valor waves his hand, as if anyone falls in love with a villain just as a person has a fondness for a clear, blue sky. "Starling, you don't have anything else to worry about. In fact, you'd be a great help right about now. We'd like for you to question him about his family's plans. This way, we can search for other ways to bring in Havoc and the rest."

      Her frown deepens to a grimace. Again, she has to remind herself that they're the heroes…but she disagrees with Valor's proposed tactic. She's seen the Maddens. She knows they're, oddly, doing their best to live normal lives. They're trying to walk the straight path, for real.

      Valor's eyes bore holes into her. His smile seems far less fatherly or friendly the longer he waits for her reply.

      Starling realizes Valor and the other heroes won't care, even if she explains the Maddens to them. But she's got to buy herself, to buy Jake and his family, time. And so she nods.

      "Good girl. I always knew you'd make the right decision, Starling."

      And so her quiet, normal days at League headquarters come to an end.

      Her first visit to the clone's holding cell takes place that same afternoon, an hour after Valor summons her.

      Starling doesn't really know what to make of the holding cells. She doesn't come here often except to throw the occasional villain inside. Never has she had to pay anyone a visit before, so it's a new experience, waiting outside the bolted door for the locks to slide free and for the door to open. She steps inside and the door closes behind her.

      …somehow, the clean lines of the white-and-silver halls of the League look cold and cruel in here, a ten-by-ten room that makes her feel claustrophobic. As in other cells, the ceiling is one large, white light, and the only furniture in here is a simple cot on a metal frame bolted to the floor. There's a bathroom/shower combo somewhere in the back, but that's always tucked away by a panel in the wall, produced upon request so prisoners can't abuse the facilities.

      She clears her throat to announce herself, since the clone has his back towards her. "Hello," she says.

      The clone, sitting on one edge of the cot, glances her way and raises his eyebrows at her. It's eerie, like having Jake look down on her from across the room. "You again. Thought you threw me away and tossed the key."

      Starling frowns (good grief, how often will she do that these days?). "I came to talk," she tells him.

      "You might've, but I don't feel like it."

      Now she sighs. "Have you had any company since I brought you here?"

      He grunts.

      She takes that as a "no." She's heard that he barely eats the food they deliver, too, but he's not interacted with the low-level heroes who make the deliveries either. "You might not like me, but I'm a familiar face. That's gotta stand for something."

      The clone half turns her way. His expression is caught somewhere between glare and disinterest. "It might for someone who cares or needs people. Such as your J—"

      Starling narrows her eyes and takes a step forward without thinking. "I get your point," she grinds out.

      He smirks, seeing her riled up. It…really is strange, seeing that face look at her with anything but affection.

      "I'll be straight with you," Starling mumbles, figuring this is the only way to keep their conversation going. "The League of Heroes wants me to talk to you in the hopes that you'll give up something about—your family." She falters, because they're not his family, but they've got to keep up the pretense.

      And he catches on. He holds her gaze for a heartbeat before facing the wall once more. "Then they should know I have nothing to say."

      Her shoulders sag, and Starling fingers the edge of her cape. Today was a good, solid first effort, and she can read in the way he squares his shoulders that he's done talking for the day. So she takes her leave, pondering how next time might go.

      She doesn't have long to wonder.

      Starling has a photoshoot the next day (because, of course, the public isn't privy to her villain-loving ways, so she's still the darling of their eye), and she can't make time to see the clone between hair, makeup, and wardrobe. She settles for trying again the day after that.

      The clone behaves much the same as the first time, barely turning towards her and reacting to her words as little as possible. It still unnerves her to see him smirk or, worse, sneer, but at least he hasn't shut down on her completely.

      And, as long as he keeps reacting to her, Starling sees an opening. Not that she wants to go along with Valor's plan, but…she wouldn't mind having someone to talk to in this building. Sure, the clone likely is plotting against her, but she can count on that, instead of constantly second-guessing herself when it comes to the people she's supposed to believe are her allies, her comrades.

      That perspective alone convinces Starling to switch tactics. So what about the League's satisfaction or lack thereof? So what about Captain Valor's and the others' plan and hopes to round up the rest of this villain family? The League wants a tool.

      Starling's goal is different. Starling wants…a friend, she guesses.

      Not that befriending Jake's clone is ideal. Even when she can visit him for consecutive days and tries to strike up some small talk, the clone—once foolish enough to fall for the deceit that brought him in—is on high alert and not biting except to get in a snicker here and there. Nothing's going to change with this version of Jake who wants to be a villain, who wants to be Chaos.

      …five days of one-sided small talk that makes her feel as though her skills are lacking later, and Starling doubts that being friends isn't on the table either.

      "Well, I managed to squeak out of my commercial shoot early this morning," she says when she arrives at lunchtime at the start of the next week. Starling glances at the food tray on the floor and nudges it with the toe of her boot towards the clone.

      The only change over the past few days has been him facing her…sort of. These days, he sits on his cot, half turned towards her, with one leg tucked under him in a relaxed, unthreatened manner. Today, he completes the uninterested vibe by resting his cheek against his propped-up fist. "Yay," the clone says with flat affect.

      Starling quirks an eyebrow at him for the mockery. "Hey, you would've, too, if you knew being there would've eaten up your entire day."

      He scoffs. "Thought you enjoyed all these things you do, for the fans." The last bit he says with a sassy little shake of his head to emphasize.

      The emphasis as well as his callout make Starling bristle, and her face warms. She straightens up from leaning casually against the inside of his cell door and shoots him a glare. "That's not—!" Starling takes a breath. "I do love my fans, and I'll do plenty for them."

      The clone lifts his head. That fist unfurls, and he strokes his chin. "Being a hero not all it's cracked up to be, then?"

      Her face falls, even though her mind's eye flashes to Valor's request. "Heroes exist for the good of the people, whatever that may be," Starling ultimately replies.

      Jake's clone raises one lone eyebrow, which says it all: You didn't answer the question.

      Starling purses her lips: And I won't anytime soon.

      He shrugs and waves her off then. "Well, you've yakked at me for the day." He rolls his shoulders and runs a hand through his hair (a shade darker than the actual Jake's) but doesn't move to grab his lunch. "Until tomorrow, then."

      She frowns and wants to point out that this could hardly be called a chat (or even yakking, for that matter), and she wants to bug him about eating like a regular human (the boy's got to put on a better act or somebody's going to catch on). But her brain catches up with his words after a three-second delay.

      "Until tomorrow."

      And she has to stifle a grin, because… Either he's resigned to Starling's visits by now or (and it's a big "or") perhaps he's…looking forward, in his own way, to seeing her, too.

      Starling thinks about that "Until tomorrow" that night, during her patrol; his words breeze through her mind the way the night air stirs her ringlets on a rather uneventful night out hovering above the defenseless masses. The words stay on her mind the next morning, too, and through their next several visits. So Starling pricks up her ears from now on.

      The clone doesn't always grumble "Until tomorrow" when signaling the end of their visit. Sometimes it's "Tomorrow, then" or, these last couple days, it's been "Later, then." He still smirks a lot, and he mocks her a lot, but—

      He faces her fully now, person to person. Er, clone to person. But the clone sits on the edge of his cot every day now, facing the door, almost as if he waits for Starling to turn up.

      She hopes her surprise doesn't show on her face, more so when he's the one to initiate the day's interaction.

      "So," the clone huffs with his arms crossed in front of his chest, "what is it today?" His head lolls to the left, unimpressed. "Another ad campaign? No, wait, don't tell me—today was your autograph signing."

      He…remembered? Further baffled, Starling nods and gives him a starlet's casual shrug. "It's called a 'meet-and-greet,' actually. And that's this evening." She can't help it. Her lips curve up in a tiny smile.

      The clone purses his—but he doesn't frown. He does jerk his chin at her, however, as if motioning her to chat away.

      And she wants to, she does. But Starling's also aware that it's been nearly two weeks since Valor assigned her this task. Not only has she not reported back to him, but Captain Valor weirdly hasn't asked for any updates yet. The lack of interest has her on edge, but the whole situation has her curiosity piqued, too. Starling licks her lips and takes a couple steps into the cell, choosing not to linger by the door. "May I ask you something?"

      He grimaces. It's strange… When he frowns, he looks just like Jake when Jake's feeling down. But when he grimaces, he looks like another person, someone wary and calculating. His eyes, that jawline, the little swish in his hair—he might share all of that with Jake, but his mannerisms remind Starling less and less of the boy she holds close in her heart, the more time she spends with the clone.

      Still, Starling finds herself wondering more what else makes clone and original so distinct, and she fiddles with the edge of her cape as she waits for his response.

      Eventually, the clone glances at the floor before returning his eyes to her face. Then he nods.

      Starling swallows a tiny lump in her throat. "Did you— Did you ever get along with—them?" Again with the pause, a reminder that the Maddens are family but not his.

      The clone scoffs. "…Havoc's the only one that comes close to being dastardly, rotten to the core." His arms slip free, and he leans back on the cot. "But they're not the same. They're not worth my time anymore."

      "But—" Starling furrows her brow. "Villains…are villains."

      "And quality's an issue there just as it's an issue here," he quips with a sneer. Without warning, he gets to his feet and takes two steps forward.

      Instinctively, Starling takes two steps back, and her heart races, hammering against her ribcage.

      The clone pauses and slips his hands into the pockets of his orange jumpsuit. He studies the frightened hero before him for a few seconds and then continues, "You're either strong enough to accept the 'Chaos' moniker or the like or you ditch what you can't handle. It's really that simple."

      The crease between her eyebrows deepens as she tries to make sense of his remarks. "I'm not sure I—"

      "I simply embraced the chaos."

      Oh. Ohh. He embraced the Chaos. Starling's eyes widen when they meet his as things click into place.

      All this time, she's thought of him as "the clone" or "Jake's clone." Jake and the others kept referring to him as "Bad Jake," even.

      But the clone's telling her that he does have a name, that he's taken for himself the one Jake's doing everything to shake: The clone refers to himself as "Chaos."

      And…since her Jake is doing everything to become a good person…Starling thinks she can accept this new fact wholeheartedly, to better keep these two separate. Jake and Chaos, no longer one and the same.

      It helps a lot with the distinction, but it also gives Starling pause, because Jake Madden has a family, one the heroes are out to get. But Chaos? Chaos has no one. There's no use in asking anything about the Maddens, she knew, but now she wonders if the distinction ever gives Chaos a pause for the same reasons…

      "Hey."

      She blinks and snaps out of her thoughts. "Hm?"

      With his hands in his pockets, his shoulders hang loose; if not for their outfits, Starling wonders whether they might look like two peers hanging out. "I really have nothing to offer you about them." Chaos pauses and glances at one of the anklets strapped to him to dampen his powers. "Except maybe a gripe or two about J—just that guy," he says, correcting himself.

      She's grateful for the cover, but Starling gets that, by now, Chaos has grown accustomed to existing, even though Kraniac created him not too long ago. Hiding his existence benefits everyone. Nevertheless, she musters half a smile for him, glad he's finally opening up to her. "I told you a familiar face had to stand for something," she gently teases with a flourish to her masked countenance.

      To her surprise, Chaos snickers (or is it a chuckle? hmm) and smirks. "I think that's all for today, hero."

      "Not the last of me you'll see, villain," she retorts with a grin. This is the lightest she's felt in weeks. Weird.

      Chaos rolls his eyes and walks back to his cot. "Yeah, yeah… Tomorrow, then," he says.

      "Tomorrow, then," Starling echoes, and she tips her head to him upon exit, ignoring how it sounds as though they've made a promise.

      …she does start to think of it as a promise, though, as the days pass and her skin crawls.

      It feels as though the hallways have eyes, everywhere she goes, never there when she turns to catch a glimpse.

      Under normal circumstances, Starling would go to Captain Valor, or to Lumina or to Lady Nox, mentors who Starling always trusted. But that was before Jake Madden. That was before she brought a clone into custody.

      Instead, Starling passes by Valor and Lumina talking in undertones in the mess hall. Lumina raises her bejeweled head to say hello, but Valor blocks her from view, making sure to catch Starling's eye. There's no hint of that paternal friendliness from before. If anything, he's disappointed, wants his status update yesterday, or both.

      Starling hastens from the mess hall, scurrying to the holding cells and impatiently tapping her foot outside Chaos' door as the bolts slide free. Only inside, with the door shut behind her, do her nerves calm and that crawling sensation dissipate.

      Somehow, Chaos' cell is the safest place to be at the League of Heroes. Or…no, not safest. But most comfortable, without a doubt.

      "Hey, Chaos," she finally says, pulling her eyes from the floor. She halts—and her cheeks puff up with suppressed laughter.

      He all but drops his food tray like a hot coal onto the cot. So, he will eat when he feels like it. "You're interrupting my lunch," he says with a partially full mouth.

      Starling narrows her eyes at the lack of manners. Then again… She narrows her eyes at his door, too. No manners versus constant surveillance and suspicion? It's a no-brainer for her. Starling comes inside a bit more and leans against the wall opposite him, sliding down until she sits on the floor. "Yes, well, lunchtime is better spent with company, isn't it?"

      "Shouldn't you be eating, and elsewhere?"

      Her stomach sours at the memory of Valor and Lumina just now, so Starling shakes her head. "I'm all set."

      "Suit yourself." He waits several seconds, but then Chaos caves and eats more of the gruel on his tray. The oddball pics at the half sandwich, eating the crust and not the main part. When too much quiet passes, he rolls his eyes and tosses her the sandwich innards. "You look sick. Be sick somewhere else, hero."

      Starling frowns and looks at the sandwich (peanut butter and jelly—tried and true), but her stomach's too iffy to take a bite. "I'm not sick. I…" Hmm. Well, he did open up a bit about his thoughts on the Maddens. And himself, too. So Starling opts for some of her own truth: "It's my reason for being here."

      Chaos pokes the other items on the tray with his spork before sliding it on the floor across the room. The tray stops half a foot away from clattering into the door. Then his eyes are back on her.

      "I…don't interrogate people."

      "Clearly."

      She pouts at him, tears off a tiny nub of bread, and throws the debris at him, which makes him snicker. "I told you they want me to have you spill your guts to me. And I—I don't like that." Huh. It feels…good, to tell someone, finally, her honest opinion about her assignment.

      Chaos brushes crumbs from his chest, but his snickers don't cease. "Well, what did you expect? You heroes aren't all good, you know."

      That catches her off-guard. She's caught herself questioning heroes' inherent goodness from the moment Captain Valor asked this task of her. Hearing Chaos voice her thoughts to her, even in his blunt manner, is jarring.

      He shakes his head. "In a world where the villains aren't very bad and the heroes aren't all good—well, kinda makes you wonder who's left, doesn't it?"

      Starling picks at the sandwich, mulling his comment over. It doesn't sound like his normal dig at Jake turning good or a prod at her for being a hero… It really does sound just like food for thought, about the only food she can handle in that moment.

      Silence settles between them the longer she dwells on his notion. Eventually, Chaos interrupts the quiet with a large sigh. "Starling."

      Her eyes are glued to the dismantled sandwich. It takes a second to refocus on him.

      Their eyes meet, and he pauses, the straight line of his lips curving downward in the slightest frown. His lips part, but he says nothing…no, he changes his mind. "Never mind," Chaos mumbles, averting his eyes.

      Starling's shoulders sink, and disappointment sprouts in her chest. She has half a mind to call it an early day…but the thought of heading back out into the watchful League corridors chills her, so Starling turns to more banal topics, like getting her cape repaired or which of her new products will be ready for the holiday shopping season, topics that will calm her down and make Chaos ignore her chatter if not tell her outright to shut up.

      (Except…today's different, because Chaos sits there and listens without complaint. So strange, this one.)

      Visit after visit, Starling finally admits to herself that the only place she feels comfortable or even welcome anymore around the League is Chaos' holding cell. She questions why, usually when they're together, as if his presence offers any clues.

      Perhaps it's because he's in on the secret. That's the first thing that comes to mind when Starling noticed her panicky breathing calms when she comes here recently… It helps, too, that she and Chaos have established little tricks and codes for when the Maddens do come up in conversation. She always pauses before emphasizing the family; he usually uses some turn of phrase to work "chaos" into the conversation in a manner that sounds as though he's oddly talking about himself in the third person… But, this way, they keep their secret intact.

      Perhaps it's because he's got Jake's face. Starling kicks herself a lot for this notion, because she misses Jake sorely…but it's both nice and painful to have to look at Chaos on an almost daily basis. If she catches a rare, neutral expression on him, then she can pretend for a second that it's her Jake here with her (which, while not great, either, still makes her heart flutter, just at the thought of being close to him again). But she's counting more and more differences between them, the more they hang out, despite how well Chaos and Jake might twin. Jake's smiles make him softer all around, but Chaos' constant switches between grump and gloating highlight his edges. Not to mention the light in here and his pickiness over the food (he's implied a clone doesn't really need to eat) don't do much for his complexion or weight, so he carries more shadows, too.

      And yet…those edges and shadows don't scare her. Sure, Starling brought him in once already, so she has little to fear on that front, but perhaps the real reason why she feels comfy here, around him, is that she's got his intentions figured out. There's plenty more to learn about Chaos, who still antagonizes her more than properly communicates with her, but Starling doesn't believe there's anything to fear about him. Not to mention he can actually be amusing on the rare occasion when he isn't being infuriating. Case in point—

      "You think you tricked me so easily, but I've done some decent tricking myself," Chaos says one afternoon. He strolls around the perimeter of his room.

      Starling strolls with him, two steps behind and to the side. She shakes her head. "I wonder if I'll regret asking, but: What 'trick' are you confessing to now?"

      Chaos grins (not a smirk, for once) at her over his shoulder. "Surge and Kraniac. A, ah, certain toy was left out, and I shrank them down for a bit."

      Her eyes widen. The idea of miniature villains is…almost cute? She can't help but grin, too. "Well, tiny villains would make my job a lot easier…," Starling admits, though she sends a mental apology to Jake for thinking perhaps his parents ought to stay pocket-sized.

      Chaos pauses and waits for Starling to catch up beside him. He cocks his head her way. "It's not so different, hero thinking and villain thinking," he points out.

      And there comes the infuriating part, in the form of his comparison. But where Starling might've glared and stomped away ages ago, she glares up at him now and smacks him in the shoulder for pouring salt in her wound. Really, she gets nowhere with this boy…!

      Starling's preoccupation with Chaos is replaced with her concerns about Valor's silence the next morning when she finds a missive in her locker:

Starling—

      See me at 10A.M. sharp, my office.

      Yours in justice,

      Captain Valor

      The sourness in her stomach returns, but Starling has no valid excuse to delay the meeting or outright skip it. She wishes the meeting at least were set for the end of the day, so she has time to see Chaos…

      But no. Just as with Jake and the Maddens before him, she sets aside all her thoughts of Chaos, especially recent memories. She can't give away the fact that she's as good as befriended yet another villain.

      The next two hours drag on, and the tension reminds Starling of being on the run not too long ago. All eyes are on her, but at least the other heroes are obvious about it this time and it's not just some sensation that's upping her anxiety and frying her nerves.

      When ten o'clock rolls around, Starling stands right outside Valor's door to knock at the exact moment the hour turns.

      "Come in," Valor answers from inside.

      Starling does as instructed. But now it's not just Valor himself but his office that lacks familiarity. The leather chair, the expensive desk, the red velvet on the walls—none of this luxury makes sense to her anymore for the leader of heroes who put the public first and themselves last. But, yet again, Starling keeps this opinion to herself and stands at attention before his desk.

      Captain Valor's smile isn't toothy today. In fact, he barely musters one at all as he leans back in his chair. "Starling, Starling, Starling…"

      "Sir?"

      He sighs. "I've an update for you."

      She blinks. Shouldn't she be updating him? "You do?"

      Valor nods and leans forward, hunched over his desk. "The League's attitude has changed."

      She should've figured.

      "We want something to show for your efforts, Starling."

      She furrows her brow. "Captain Valor, I'm—"

      "I know. I've seen the visitor's logs. And the security footage from the holding cell corridors. I know you've gone as often as possible." The remaining kindness ebbs from his posture. "But, Starling, we want some real, actionable information or else."

      The hands on the antique clock hanging on the wall to her right echo in the room, the sounds bouncing around in her head.

      Or else.

      Heroes or villains—no one says "or else" without meaning it.

      And Starling fears that it'll be worse than just losing her gear this time.

      She stares, unable to hide her fright when she meets Valor's eyes.

      But he tears his gaze away nonchalantly, and that promptly ends the conversation.

      She skips meeting Chaos that same day. It's one thing to don a façade for her fans—that's half the gig, playing the hero—but she hasn't figured out how to handle this twist. She needs time to think.

      Even when her boots lead her down the familiar path to a certain, bolted door the following day, still Starling's mind churns with a million ideas. Have Chaos confess the truth? No, that puts everyone in jeopardy… Have Chaos work with her to make up some feasible lies about the Maddens? Maybe, but that'll only buy more time, because the heroes will act on the info sooner rather than later…

      The gears in her head whir, rotating so fast that she wishes she had enough stamina and strength to pause time indefinitely while she sorts this out. Instead, her thought processes come to a halt when she steps inside Chaos' cell and sees his familiar smirk.

      "Hey," he says, sitting on his cot with his elbows on his knees, all cocky as he gets to his feet and meets her partway. His smirk falls, though, and he quirks an eyebrow when she doesn't immediately respond. "Star?"

      "Oh, uh. Hey." She briefly holds her head, willing herself to snap out of this daze. Her eyes downward, she spies his half-eaten food. "…you ate the entire sandwich today."

      Chaos shrugs. "Tried something new. Wasn't that great. But prison gets a little boring at some point."

      His direct, dark humor brings a tiny smile to her lips, and Starling finally takes a breath…maybe releasing the one she's been holding since yesterday.

      But her relief doesn't last long when footsteps in the hallway draw near, three sets. She and Chaos turn when they stop outside his door, and the bolts slid free once more. The door opens, and in walk Captain Valor and two other heroes barely older than Starling herself, Jacque Frost and Kilometer.

      Starling openly frowns at Valor. "Sir, what is—?"

      "—the meaning of this?" he finishes. He gestures for Frost and Kilometer to flank Starling and Chaos. "You're a smart girl, Starling. I thought you would've grasped this right away." He nods, as though he's resigned to this duplicity because she forced his hand. "I thought about threatening you sooner, but then it came to me: If this rabid young villain who hates everyone else except his family and the hero he loves learned of the threat against you, then maybe I'd finally see results."

      The way these other heroes whom she barely knows linger so near sets Starling on edge. Out of the corner of her eye, she glimpses Chaos' hardened expression; he's not happy either. But she still has enough time to diffuse this situation, especially because it doesn't make sense, not without the real Jake Madden here. So Starling slaps on a commercial, winning smile and shakes her head. "Sir, that might've been the case, ages ago. But I come here and talk his ear off. Chaos here cares nothing for me."

      And that's the truth. After all, he's a clone. It's not as if Kraniac could've made him with feelings and morals, same as her and Jake and (she still hoped) Valor.

      Starling looks up at Chaos even, to prove her point, because she knows his mannerisms and expects him to shrug this off. Jake Madden has her heart, but Chaos could never care for her, even if he gets on passably with Starling.

      Yet…Chaos' glare could slice stone and steel, not to mention Valor, given the intensity of it, aimed at the crimson hero. "Do not," he growls at Valor, "hurt Starling." And, though he's got bracelets that match the anklets to help dampen his powers, his fists curl at his sides.

      The gears in Starling's brain churn anew but with different questions to solve now, because—

      Jake Madden has her heart.

      But Chaos could never care for her…right?

      Valor's famous smile is a dark smirk today as he throws up two fingers, throwing them left and right, signaling Jacque Frost and Kilometer to grab hold of Starling. They pull her away from Chaos, but Valor offers the clone a deal. "If you don't want to see her hurt, then tell us everything about your family and what they're getting up to."

      His knuckles blanch, his fists are so tight. But Chaos grits his teeth. "I don't know anything," he says truthfully.

      If only Starling could back up him without jeopardizing them all (if only she might be believed if she told the truth)!

      Valor shakes his head. "We have our ways of making you talk, Chaos."

      Starling's stomach sinks. Heroes don't make that threat.

      Chaos scowls at the lead hero. "I'd like to see you try."

      With a sigh, Valor holds a hand out, and the younger heroes shove Starling into his grasp, freeing them up to have a go at Chaos. And all Starling can do is muffle her panic and learn the depth of Jacque Frost's ice powers and Kilometer's super speed.

      The interior of a holding cell is not meant for showdowns. But Chaos holds his own against every chunk of ice Frost throws at him, smashing through each chilly blast left and right. Frost's powers must come from an outside source, because each blast depletes his coloring and strength until he can no longer fight, and Chaos ignores him for the speedster.

      Kilometer is a trickier opponent. His movements are too fast; he's barely more than a purple blur to Starling's eyes, but Valor keeps her hands locked apart behind her back, in case she wishes to aid Chaos with a time-freezing spell. And she does want to help, especially when Kilometer closes in on Chaos and gets several sharp jabs in at his middle.

      Chaos crumples, bending over in pain. But he appears to use his pain to fuel his fury, because he tosses the mattress from the cot and yanks the frame up free from its bolts, almost as if he wears no power dampeners at all. Then he swings the frame around in a wide arc, and Kilometer can't dodge the hit in the ten-by-ten space. He's out like a light, for the night and possibly for the week.

      With both heroes down, Chaos drops the cot frame and stares Valor down. Chaos holds his middle tenderly, but he's still on both feet, just breathing somewhat raggedly.

      Starling's eyes dart from him to the frame and back. The revelation that the power dampeners are essentially useless on him… Does that give him away? Or will the heroes just believe they underestimated Jake Madden instead? She peeks up at Valor.

      Valor clenches his teeth. His grip tightens, painfully enough to make Starling's eyes water. "We'll consider this a draw…for now."

      Chaos snarls at him.

      "But keep in mind: I have what you hold dear. Until next time, Chaos."

      Jacque Frost scoots around Chaos carefully and pries Kilometer from the floor, so they limp out of the holding cell on the former's ability alone. Valor follows, dragging Starling along with him.

      But Starling looks back before the door swings shut, and she witnesses Chaos' fury as he stares at the floor with trembling fists. Her heart thuds in her chest, and a new mix of emotions sprouts in her chest.

      She and the other heroes barely make it to the end of the hallway when the deafening BOOM of Chaos' super-powered punch hits the inside of his cell door. But the din ends there, for the door works in the way the dampeners do not against Chaos, and it holds.

WELL. Compared to my previous Clonelings, which were more like musings/clearing my throat, this dove deeper into their potential bond…and also how being a hero can be just as gray an area as being a villain. *eyeing Valor and his dubious tactics* I love little inclusions/hints of growing closeness/fondness, so that was fun to include here. But I don't think Starling should've been so surprised by Chaos caring for her in some form, and perhaps, deep down, she realizes this. But, hmm, where to go now… Idk if I'd do a sequel in particular to this one (esp since "Breaking Point" is kinda like my ideal for their future, *lol*), but I'm deffo still thinking lots about them. Anywho! Everything's just speculative until we have s2 anyway. XD And ofc all non-familiar names are OCs; mildly tempted to draw Lumina, Jacque Frost, and Kilometer, if not make a post about them and Lady Nox. Would totally use them again. :3c

Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave an anon/unsigned review via the FFN link or comment via the AO3 link at the top of the post, especially if you enjoyed this!

~mew

[thegooddoctorheadcanonsarchive]

Could you do Shaun and Melendez?

Who is more likely to hurt the other? - Melendez is more likely to hurt Shaun, most of the time. It’s not a secret that he tries to come off as more stoic than he really is. Shaun’s very sensitive and easily upset, so sometimes that edge can injure him and cause misunderstandings. Neil gets better and better about handling that, the longer they date, though.

Who is emotionally stronger? - Melendez is definitely the stronger of the two, he’s the rock in the relationship. He hardly ever lets his emotions get the better of him, and he’s very aware of Shaun’s emotional state at the same time. The very second it becomes apparent something is bothering Shaun, he’s rushing to be there for him.

Who is physically stronger? - Again, that’d be Melendez. He can’t be beat on strength; he’s twice as strong as Shaun is. He can pick his resident up no problem, but he hardly ever does because Shaun hates it so much.

Who is more likely to break a bone? - Neither of them are careless enough to break a bone. But in terms of who is more likely in theory, it’d be Melendez. On the rare days he isn’t working, he likes to hike or ride his bike, or one day he went rock climbing. Therefore technically, he’s the one who’s more likely.

Who knows best what to say to upset the other? - They’re both pretty neck-in-neck. When Neil feels hurt or upset he usually covers it up with anger and tends to lash out more. But Shaun can end up saying things that cross the line, too. He’s not afraid to call Neil out when he does something wrong, or push the right buttons.

Who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? - Melendez is definitely the first to rush for an apology. He tries to make himself seem aloof and stubborn in a fight, but the very second it’s over, practically, he’s already regretting whatever it was he said, and he’s scrambling to make it right again. Fortunately for him, though, Shaun is always just as quick to forgive as he is to make amends.

Who treats who’s wounds more often? - Melendez is fussy when it comes to Shaun, even though he always denies it when Shaun accuses him of worrying. Shaun usually dismisses things like bruises or scratches, because he’s so used to having them. Neil hears none of it, though, and even if it’s just a nick, he’s always putting a band-aid over it and telling him to be careful.

Who is in constant need of comfort? - Shaun is usually the one who needs more comfort. He tends to doubt himself a lot in relationships, and he’s not very good at hiding his anxiety or self-consciousness. Neil has gotten skilled at reassuring him over time. And that comfort kind of leaks into work, too, when there are harder situations to deal with, or when they have a patient that looks down on him. Neil is much more aware and concerned of Shaun’s emotional state than he was before.

Who gets more jealous? - Melendez is prone to jealousy. He’s got no reason to be, of course. But the nurses at Saint Bonaventure tend to fawn over Shaun, and it irritates him because 1) Shaun doesn’t need to be cooed over, and it’s a little insulting just as it is and 2) they always pour all their attention on him, and though he would never admit it to any living soul, it can make Melendez pretty envious. 

Who’s most likely to walk out on the other? - Shaun is more likely to walk out on Melendez. Shaun can be very ‘fight or flight’ and his go-to is usually flight, most of the time. If something in their relationship is going wrong, if he feels like he’s not good enough/did something bad, or if he feels like Melendez is going to leave him, he’ll run away from the issue rather than solve it. This has actually happened once— they got into a fight and Melendez turned around to see that he was just gone. He had to track him down and tell him everything was fine; Shaun was so upset he was wanting to cut it all off, just because he thought it was the only option. Nothing major like that has happened since, but the threat is still there in the back of Neil’s mind. It’s his worst nightmare, to have Shaun run away again.

Who will propose? - Neil is the one to get down on one knee. It won’t be for a while; they will have dated for at least a couple years beforehand. It’ll come out of the blue, too. It’ll surprise Shaun so much, that when Melendez does get down and ask, he’ll just stare at him blankly for about a full minute in complete silence. Of course, after that, he’ll be over the moon and say yes, but up until that point, it will have been rather awkward.

Who has the most difficult parents? - Shaun. When he opened up to Neil finally, and told him about his dad, it isn’t an exaggeration at all to say that Neil saw red. Every time he even thinks of Ethan Murphy, his blood starts to boil. Heaven help that man if they ever meet— Melendez will probably have to be restrained.

Who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? - They don’t really hold hands when they go out together! They walk very close together, with their shoulders brushing, but they don’t hold hands. Not that it’s a problem at all, it’s just what naturally occurs.

Who hogs the blankets? - Shaun is a monster when it comes to taking all the blankets. He gets cold super easy, so sometimes Neil wakes up and Shaun’s so rolled up in them on the other side of the bed that he’s morphed into a burrito. Sometimes Neil tries to be angry and wake him up. But the second Shaun opens his eyes and peeks out, half-asleep, he never has the heart to. He usually just gives up and finds another blanket to use.

Who gets more sad? - Unfortunately, Shaun is usually the one that gets sad. He tries not to, and he usually stays pretty optimistic most of the time (Neil pretends it’s annoying but he really thinks it’s endearing). But sometimes things build up on him, and there are lapses where he gets sullen and quiet. These episodes bothered Neil at first, but now he knows that Shaun just needs some quiet and a blanket and maybe some tea, and some time to calm down. He always weathers it with him, if Shaun wants him there.

Who is better at cheering the other up? - Shaun, all the way. It’s almost impossible for Melendez to stay upset or frustrated when he’s with Shaun. Maybe it’s the fact his jokes are so bad and so stupid. Maybe it’s the way his eyes light up when he smiles, trying to encourage Melendez to do the same since smiles are ‘contagious’. Whichever one it is, it’s usually pretty easy for Shaun to get him grinning again.

Who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes? - Neither of them really do that. But something Shaun always does that Melendez adores is he ducks away whenever he says something silly or cute to him. Neil doesn’t make a habit out of it, but when he does say something like “You’re completely adorable” Shaun always clams up and gets flustered and ducks behind him. Sometimes he even mumbles an embarrassed little “Stop it” which makes Melendez laugh even harder.

Who is more streetwise? - Melendez is more streetwise. Shaun’s pretty out of the loop when it comes to street smarts— some things for him are trial and error. Neil knows that and he’s much more patient with him than he was before they were dating. He always answers Shaun’s questions without hesitation or irritation.

Who is more wise? - Shaun is wiser than Melendez is, and Melendez knows that. Really, from the first day they met, Shaun has been wiser (“Does it hurt you as a person?”). Neil always listens to him, and takes his words to heart. Shaun’s made him a better person, and he’s grateful to him every day for that.

Who’s the shyest? - Shaun is super shy, especially when they’re out in public. Not that they have a lot of public displays of affection— he doesn’t even need that. Neil could just smile at him, and Shaun would start grinning huge and ducking away and giggling. Melendez thinks he’s completely adorable when he does it. So naturally, it happens a lot.

Who boasts about the other more? - It’s a toss-up. Shaun already boasted about how good a surgeon Melendez was even before they started dating, and how much he had to learn from him. It’s just more frequent now that they’re together. At the same time, Melendez is much more outspoken on his talented resident who has saved so many lives. Of course, he never plays favorites, though. Ever. That would be silly. And unfair. No favorites at all.

Who sits on who’s lap? - Shaun sits on Melendez’s lap. Mostly it’s when they’re watching movies or TV, and they never start out that way. But somehow the evening always ends with him on Neil’s lap and his head on his chest, tucked underneath his chin. It’s one of his favorite spots to be; he fell asleep like that, one time.

[reaction2whatever]

Agents of SHIELD S1E18-S1E22 reaction

The end of the last episode SHOOK me. Like it shook me enough to make me scared to continue watching.

Like the team was corny and all but it was comfortable just watching them solving cases.

But WARD IS HYDRA. Hydra is apparently big bad evil like the nazi's level. I did not see it coming. I hope the team figures it out soon.

This is the first time this show got me nervous because before this I thought no matter what happens, the team will always end up fine. I was so sure of that and now I don't...The team won't recover from this

Like how? Was all of Ward just fake??

Oh shit now I want them to be back together just working on random small cases.

Ward, man, you've ruined everything. You were a very convincing good guy and now you've ruined it all. I was so close to searching up Skye+Ward fanfictions and now I'm glad that I didn't

Agents of SHIELD S1E18

-Right off the bat Ward rescued flower dress girl who I did not bother learning the name of

-Ahhh welp, so Coulson still don't know Ward is Hydra

-wow so shield is like a terrorist organization now. HOW? Do I need to watch the movie for this

-oh no skye don't call Ward he's not worth it

-It physically hurt me that Skye still trusts Ward

-ugghhh I mean I know it makes sense that Skye still trusts Ward and perhaps still likes him but uggghhh

-God damn it This show is playing my emotions

-Whoever the director is, Coulson surely trusts him

-2 more innocent men Ward murdered

-Just splendid

-I'm throwing hand

-So shield never get rid of the dangerous weapons, no wonder they didn't launch the gravity thing into the space

-Just even more splendid

-uggghh I'm so frustrated

-Side note, how cute Skye is with a beanie

-I need more beanie Skye

-oh just even better why not let Ward and Garrett get their hands on that gravity thing

-Gotta admit seeing Coulson getting into that base made me ridiculously happy (He looked as if he was crazy for just a split second. I'm glad his faith was responded

-oh fuck Skye is still worried about Ward, just sweet, ruining my heart why wouldn't you

-Now Ward is going to the secret base

-I mean I'm glad Skye is smart enough to encrypt important things

-uggghhhh but your secret base was not so secret sooo quickly

-oh no Skye is still thinking about that drink with Ward like come on girl

-I'm beyond frustrated

-Next episode the team better figure out Ward is Hydra

-I wanna scream out of frustration

Agents of SHIELD S1E19

-Sweet, the team babying Ward with his fake injuries

-Oh yeah Quinn is free too now, who shot Skye twice, like why not

-And Ward is right there in the team

-yes yes a lie detector please let this lie detector find out Ward

-May has been married??? I wonder if it happened before that Calvalry thing

-Mary Sue Poots huh I mean why is Skye always smiling and saying one-liners that sound sarcasm but really just tragic

-I want to hug little Mary Sue Poots and tell her everything will be okay

-So Ward almost failed the lie detection. Come on Koenig I was rooting for you to get Ward

-I cannot believe Ward cheated the lie detection by saying that he's back for Skye

-Oh Please don't leave Skye in the base alone with Ward

-Waiiiittt the love interest of Coulson was ROOT!!!! She was in person of interest?!

-Amy Acker, you are as beautiful as ever

-yes Skye, I'm rooting for you girl, get that video footage, see that Ward is bad bad

-I'm honestly worried for Skye's safety at this point

-Skye is very smart, location-based encryption!! No easy way for Ward to get what he wants!

-Ward was so ready to shoot May?? Ward, come on now, you have to at least feel something for the team?

-May pleaseee don't leave

-May is leaving two defenseless people with Ward

-I'm so nervous

-My emotions are soooo different compared to last time Skye and Ward kissed. The last time I was cheering for them and now I'm just worried

-Ward kissing Skye while there's blood on him??? Where did the blood come from

-OMFG Koenig is dead?????

-Ward killed him didn't he

-Skye is freaking the fuck out because I would be too

-imagine if a murderer just kissed you while there's still blood on him

-Skye's actress is soooo good like how her hands were shaking like sister can act

-Ward won't kill Skye right?? he still needs her

-I'm sooo proud of Skye for not losing her shit and putting that coin back and kissing Ward pretending nothing happened

-Takes mental fortitude to do that

-Skye has figrued out that Ward wants the hardrive and she's on a plane with him

-I'm legit worried for her. I just wish Skye make it out alive

-Is it wrong of me to want Ward get redeemed?

-Is it even possible for Ward to be redeemed?

Agents of SHIELD S1E20

-uggh finally!!! the team knows that Skye left with Ward

-Fitz ugghh I love your genuis brain for noticing the difference between two windows! Simmons I love your idea of having pancakes to find Koenig's dead body

-I love FitzSimmons figuring out Ward is Hydra

-I admire Skye so much like she would be willing to get arrested to get away from Ward

-Fucking Mike again

-Skye slapping Ward is soo satisfying

-"It wasn't personal" omfg ward you must have no shame to be a nazi and still say something like this

-The way my blood boiled while watching Skye destroy Ward

-"I'm gonna throw up": I'm sooo glad that Skye reacted to this like a sane person. I was so worried that she's gonna be a lovesick girl character

-No matter how hard Ward was trying to manipulate her Skye didn't comply

-"You are a serial killer" "I wouldn't like the real you"

-YES sis! Say the truth like how it is! Say it louder! We need ladies to have brains!

-I think that's why I love Skye, man. She's not lovesick, she's not that easily manipulated, she did not budge when Ward try to use his "survivor" bullshit to convince her

-Ward is really ugghhh he's really something else

-how is it possible that a few episodes ago I liked Ward and now I want to punch him? He'd murdered too many to be redeemed

-I don't blame Mike as much because I know he has a kill switch in his eyes but Ward doesn't

-Ward you had a chance, a freewill to decide not to work for Garrett

-Seeing Ward having a heart attack feels oddly good

-Of course Skye will save him

-She's such a sweetheart, it's not about Ward, it's that Skye is kind and Skye is not a murderer

-Coulson is gonna save Skye I'm rooting for him

-It's so sad that the Bus was once a comfy home and now it's just a mess with bullets in it

-The way Ward didn't hesitate in shooting at Coulson and Skye

-I feel sad about the bullet holes on the windshield of Lola

-Skye's hair lmaoooooooo It's so chaotic and funny I had to screenshot it lolololol

-This is the team at the lowest point

-FitzSimmons are my comfortable characters now. they are so peaceful and calm. They bring me peace in this chaotic show

-Coulson:"Never been homeless before" and Skye: "It's not fun"

-See they are doing it again, with Skye's seemingly sarcasm one-liners but really just tragic background story

-At lease we got May back

-That's silver lining right?

-Fuck so Coulson was the one running tahiti

-The way this show played my emotions

-I thought this show was just gonna be one case at a time for 7 seasons but apparantly not and now i'm nervous

Agents of SHIELD S1E21

-Is it just me? I feel like young Ward doesn't look at current Ward at all?

-Seeing the remaining team planning their mission in a hotel room hurts me

-When can they get the bus back?

-Fitz trying to excue Ward is part of me

-ugghh I hate him but I want him redeemed but at the same time I feel like he's too far gone

-Coulson and May wearing nerd clothes lol too adorable

-May complaining sweater itch is very in character lmao

-May is really a ninja huh that fight scene was so impressive

-"Large file transfer" and a whole ass safe falling I laughed way too hard for this

-oh wow this conversation between May and Skye just made me love May even more

-Holy fuck Ward kidnapped FitzSimmons?

-Good job Fitz! he emped Garret's machine organs

-Fitz is my boy!

-Garrett is a real psycho huh the way he asked Ward to kill the dog and FitzSimmons

-Gotta admit that paralell between the dog and FitzSimmons is pretty genius

-Fucking hell I thought for a moment Ward had let his dog live but apparantly not

-Do you really need to do this to me istg this fucking show

-I just said FitzSimmons are my comfort and now they are in dager, thrown into the sea

-This is it. Ward is too far gone. I hope Fitz finally see him for what he is

Agents of SHIELD S1E22

-Finale! I'm nervous

-Garret losing his mind. I'm glad. He deserves it

-Oh no please FitzSimmons had to survive this

-Think about this is finale of a show maybe they really will die for shock value

-But if they do die they will need new scientist characters for next season right? So I don't think FitzSimmons will die

-yes my children! I knew FitzSimmons will get solutions they are that smart

-I like Trip, he feels like an upgraded Ward for the team

-Why is it that Garrett going crazy is still connected to Skye like can't my poor girl catch a break

-Oh fuck Fitz is giving the only living chance to Simmons and he just confessed his feelings

-I need them to both to survive this uggghhhh

-So the dead director is the one who saved FitzSimmons huh

-I like the director. I'm so glad FitzSimmons didn't die

-"I hope Garrett orders you to walk into traffic" lmao Skye I love this line

-"Because you slept with her and she's really pissed off"

-Who wrote these lines for Skye? Because they are absolutely GOLD

-Skye will never be evil she's too kind for her own good she's never gonna be like Ward

-"You were never on top" May that was sooo hilarious and fo what lmao helpppp

-Mike kicking the absolutely ass out of Garrett is sooo satisfying

-Mike deserved that as an outlet of his emotions

-Coulson blasting Garrett is so hilarious and also I'm glad he's dead for sure

-I'm very happy that Coulson became the new director

-I'm heartbroken that Simmons is the only one back I hope Fitz is more than just alive

-Another Koenig??? why do they look exactly the same??

-Is that Skye's dad holy fuck can my girl catch a break

-Coulson is going crazy now huh I hope he doesn't become the next Garrett

Oh is that all of season 1?

Why do I have a feeling that this is a slow burn show

Like at the beginning I had no idea about Ward and I thought they'd just be solving case after case

Gotta admit they played my emotions

I'm bittersweet with the fact that Ward is alive

He is very much a bad guy but ugghh I don't know I loved good guy Ward

ugghhh I just hate this

I feel so betrayed by Ward

I now just hope Fitz will be okay, like, more than just "alive"

And I hope Skye don't get more trauma from the whole "parents are monsters" thing

Also can FitzSimmons get together already in the next season?

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Something Wicked

Welcome to “Oh, DEEEEAAAN: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s1e18: Something Wicked

Something is causing kids to fall into comas and wither away. And John has sent the boys (cryptically, of course) to check it out. Through their investigation, and with the help of some flashbacks to the boys’ childhood, we learn that the something is a striga and that it attacked Sammy on nine-year-old Dean’s watch. John blamed Dean. Dean blames Dean. And now John has sent Dean to take care of his “unfinished business.” Which he does, with the help of another young boy who cares deeply for a little brother. But before the striga is completely dead, it goes after Sam. Big brother Dean is not okay with that. The boys have a moment. Also, Sam wears The Best Shirt Ever Made.

 Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here.  Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

 Lor:

 oooo, I love this one

 Mace:

 this is the doc who's actually a strega or something right?

 Lor:

 yep

 Mace:

 yeah this is a cool one

Lor:

the bony hand shadow separating out from the branch shadow!

 such a cool shot

 Mace:

 YEP. V. creepy

 Lor:

"because I'm the oldest, which means I'm always right"

 Mace:

 omg the little smile

 Lor:

 and then his little smirk

 Lor:

YAAAAS

 SMARTY SAMMY

 Mace:

 YAS

 I mean, I'd never have thought of that

 Lor:

 and then Dean picks up on it without any more prompting

 RIGHT?

me either

 HANNAAAAAH

 Mace:

 Is this the second time we've seen her?

 Lor:

 yep

 Mace:

 cool

 Mace:

 bikini inspector HAHAHAHA

 Lor:

 wait, hang on, kids are getting sick, so the parents are keeping them away from each other? sounds unlikely

 Mace:

 snork! RIGHT?!

 OMG THE SNICKER

 Lor:

 LOLOLOLOL YES

 Lor:

 lolololol I love how freaked out he is

 Mace:

 Yes! And I love that the creepy old lady turns out just to be a creepy old red herring

 Lor:

 YES

 Mace:

 I feel like this episode may mark the start of the shift of the show toward Dean-centric...

 Lor:

 ooooo interesting

 Mace:

 the flashbacks, if I remember right, are about him being Sam's caretaker, right?

 and his relationship with the motel kiddo

 Lor:

 yeah

 Mace:

 this one is certainly more about Dean's background than Sam's

 Lor:

 definitely

 is Dean's hair darker than usual in this one?

 Mace:

 and it sets the stage for moving Sam into more of a supportive little brother role

 Mace:

 hm, dunno

  Sam's looks dark too

 Lor:

 maybe it's just the lighting

 Mace:

 yeah

 "you know I'm not stupid"

 Lor:

 "you know I'm not stupid" ooof

 Mace:

 oh DEAN

 Lor:

 HA!

 Mace:

 also, FUCK YOU JOHN

 Lor:

 YES

 Mace:

 most important = watch out for Sammy FUUUUCK YOU JOHN

 Lor:

 "it only takes one mistake" FUCK YOU JOHN JUST FUCK YOU SIDEWAYS

 Mace:

 HE IS YOUR CHILD NOT YOUR CO PARENT

 Lor:

 no wonder he holds himself accountable for everything and abuses substances JEEEBBBUSSS

 gaaaawd the creaking of Baby's doors

swoons

 Mace:

 yes!

 Lor:

 lolol this little shit of a kid

 Mace:

 YAS

 oh DEAN

 Lor:

 oh, Dean

 and Sammy offering him the prize

 I CANNOT

 Mace:

 RIGHT?!

 UGH

 Lor:

 PURPLE DOG SHIRT

 Mace:

 YAS

 well, you'd *think* it's Latin but not the way you're pronouncing it, Sammy, honey

 Lor:

 HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 what did Dean just take out of his bag? is that his OWN JOURNAL?

 Mace:

Oooh, I don't know! I wasn't paying attention

 the fact that Dean didn't grow up to resent Sammy so much that he couldn't stand to be in the same room with him, but instead loves him with the fiercest brotherly love ever witnessed by man is just...amazing

 Lor:

 RIGHT?

the LOVE on that boy

no wonder Cas falls for him the second he touches him

 Mace:

 RIGHT?!?!

 Lor:

  "an old person, huh? in a hospital? better call the coast guard"

 lolololololol DEAN

 Mace:

 OMG HAHAHAHA the old lady jump scare

 Lor:

 the hand over his face

 YAAAAAAAS

 Mace:

 YES

 adorable, these two

 Lor:

 the LOOKS over the crucifix I LOVE THEM

 Mace:

 YAS

 Lor:

 SAMMY GIGGLING

 Mace:

 omg SAMMY'S LAUGH

 YAS

 Lor:

 YAAAAS

 A CHILD LOOKS SAD DEAN MUST FIX

 Mace:

 YAS

 oh DEAN

he KNOWS exactly what this kid is feeling

Listen to yourself, Dean

 Lor:

 the way he works SO HARD to make sure no other kid has the childhood trauma he does

 Mace:

 TAKE YOUR OWN COMFORT

 Lor:

 RIGHT?

 Mace:

 YES

 nothing hurts Sammy and nothing hurts kids

the Dean Rule Book

 Lor:

 YES

and nothing can be any kid's fault because everything is Dean's fault

 Mace:

 YUP

 just another way in which Dean is SPN's Jesus - he takes the faults of the kiddos onto himself

 Lor:

 YES

 oooof Dean. that is what it looks like when a man is using his all not to punch you

 Mace:

 YES

 Dean, I love you, but don't use the phrase "burned a clip in him"

 Lor:

 yeeeeeah

 Mace:

 "he sent us here"

oooooo

 this is a really interesting take on protecting the kids - Dean's version vs Sam's

 Lor:

 yeah

 so John was hunting a thing that goes after kids and he left his two kids alone right in its path?

 god I hate him

 Mace:

 RIGHT?!

 And poor Dean. The one time he takes a minute just to be a flipping KID...

 Lor:

 RIGHT

 Mace:

 FUUUUCK YOUUU JOOOOHN

 Lor:

 and what TF was Dean gonna do about it if he had been there?

 Mace:

 RIGHT?!

 Lor:

 "he looked at me different. which was worse. not that I blame him" DEEEEEEAN

 Mace:

 "he gave me an order and I didn't listen"

 parents doN'T GIVE ORDERS

 Lor:

 and then he passive-aggressively sends Dean to go clean it up now

 WHAT A DICK

 Mace:

 YEP

 "i'd give anything not to tell you this"

DEEEEAAAN

 Lor:

 I do love that Dean asks the kid for help and when he says no he drops the idea

 Mace:

 YES

 Sammy having healthy expectations about kids and Dean knowing kids are actually capable of more I LOVE THEM BOTH

 Lor:

 YES

 he prepares him for what's gonna happen I love him so much

 Mace:

 Dean prepping him for the gunshot is so sweet

 YES

 Lor:

 YES

 the fact he even THINKS OF THAT

 Mace:

 "it's okay I won't be mad" Oh DEAN

 Lor:

 RIGHT?

 Mace:

 so much better with this kid than John ever was

 Lor:

 YES

 awwww, Sammy

 and Dean appreciates it but they are NOT gonna talk about it

 Mace:

 and again the fact that he came out of that childhood better than John because John was awful and not as a John himself is so flipping impressive

 YES

 Lor:

 YES

 first thing he does is check on the kid

 Mace:

 yep

 ooof and it goes for Sam again

 Mace:

 "little brother"

 Lor:

 "okay, little brother?"

 YES

 oooof Dean shooting it more

 Mace:

 yeah

 Lor:

 how many kids are there in the country who grow up with Dean Winchester as their hero because he saved them once and was nice to them?

 Mace:

 aw, yeah

 and Sammy worried about Michael knowing about all the bad things now

 Lor:

 "sometimes I wish you could too"

 he doesn't want the innocence for himself, he wants it for Sammy

 Mace:

 yeah

[gfpt-comic]

So. Here goes nothing... (1/?)

(Major spoilers for the comic, but since it won’t update anymore (besides PERHAPS some random comic strips/excerpts without context every now and then, but don’t count on it), I guess it doesn’t matter.)

If you read my answer to the ask posted earlier, you probably know what this post is about. I’ll make a list of every important point I wanted to tackle in the comic, in multiple sections. Be prepared for the long post that awaits you below the cut.

Summary of what was left of Chapter 2

Following their first appearance at the beginning of the chapter, Lolph and Dundgren try to question Blendin, who is staying at a hospital and is still under intense care. They discuss what exactly happened to Blendin in the first place: he was assigned what was supposed to be a routine mission to solve a minor time anomaly in the 21st century, but his time machine exploded when he tried to operate it and he was gravely injured. Dundgren mentions that any normal time device should hardly cause this much damage when malfunctioning, suggesting that Blendin’s level of incompetence is so incredibly high, it somehow managed to make something that shouldn’t be able to explode blow up in his face. On the other hand, Lolph starts to wonder if, exactly because it should be impossible, the accident may have had a reason other than just Blendin’s incompetence. Unfortunately, the accident had consequences so grave on Blendin’s physical health, it seemingly also took a toll on his sanity and questioning him only leaves them with esoteric sentences of dubious credibility.

Blendin: “This is very nice of you… to visit me. There isn’t much time left. I was starting to feel alone, before everything disappears.” Blendin: “Time Baby will succeed… He will free us from this time.”

July 13, 2012 again: back in the gift shop of the Mystery Shack, Wendy and Soos have captured Bill and tied him up to a chair. Wendy starts interrogating him, asking him who or what he is-- throwing in her multiple guesses: the Shapeshifter she defeated with Dipper in the bunker, a paper clone... She doesn’t suspect demon possession or a switch-because-of-the-carpet scenario, however. Bill just keeps trying to break free with little success, without answering; and soon, Stan interrupts them when he enters the gift shop as well, followed by the dozen of tourists he took during his latest tour. Wendy and Soos manage to evade Stan’s obvious questions by pretending they were making a new attraction.

Back in Mabel’s Dreamscape, Mabel encourages Dipper to have some fun with Bill’s powers, but he is scared of messing up because of just how powerful he is; having seen Bill’s powers both in the Mindscape/Dreamscape and in Weirdmageddon when he witnessed the alternate timelines, Dipper knows just how far those powers can go and he isn’t sure he can control them. Still, after some teasing Mabel starts a snowball fight with the surrounding ice cream, and gradually the twins have more and more fun starting with the ice cream, then with the tricks Dipper starts to use. When they take a break, Mabel points out that nothing bad happened, and Dipper grows a bit more confident that he can use Bill’s powers in a way that isn’t dangerous.

Dipper: “I guess it’s easy to do exactly what you want when it literally happens in your mind... Huh.”

Dipper notices it’s almost noon, and Mabel remembers that she was supposed to meet William at Greasy’s Diner for lunch. Mabel is unseasy upon thinking of talking to him again after what happened the day before, and Dipper confirms by showing William’s current whereabouts through a peephole that William seems about as worried as she is. Mabel takes a deep breath, makes sure that she will be able to see Dipper whenever she needs (during the night for sure, perhaps earlier if she asks for it). Still, just before Dipper wakes her up... She has a favor to ask him.

Mabel: “Now that you can do lots of magic stuff and all... Could you do something for me?”

Back in the gift shop, the tourists have left and Bill was untied due to Stan’s confusion over the situation. However, he is forced to stay inside and is stuck sitting by Wendy’s side behind the cashier desk. When Mabel goes through the gift shop to go to the Diner, everyone notices that she made a new sweater -- one with a pine tree symbol on it, no less. Bill is enraged but can’t stop her from leaving.

William has his first face reveal. He is a blonde 13-year-old, and is already waiting worriedly at Greasy’s Diner when Mabel arrives. He immediately apologizes for what happened on the day before.

William: “About yesterday, I... I’m sorry I said your brother was a bad influence. That was uncalled for.”

Mabel: “Yes. Yes it was.”

William is genuinely apologetic, but soon it is revealed that the reason why he thought Dipper and the Mystery Shack were a bad influence was because he doesn’t believe at all in the supernatural. Even if Mabel told him about her adventures, he assumed they were just stories she made up while playing in the Mystery Shack’s museum and never believed them to be true. Mabel tries to convince him by showing him some episodes of Dipper’s “Guide to the Unexplained” -- a series of videos he used to make and post online at the beginning of their summer break upon arriving in Gravity Falls, but stopped making altogether after Summerween. Sadly, the episodes made up until then did not revolve around exceptionally weird anomalies, and aren’t enough to convince William. The only thing William admits to being strange is the fact that every inhabitant of Gravity Falls is “out of their minds.”

Exasperated by William’s absurdly high levels of skepticism, Mabel eventually dares him to go on a forest expedition with her, Candy and Grenda on the next day, just so they can show him pretty much anything in the forest that is out of the ordinary. William strongly refuses and tries to dissuade her to go into the forest at all; he has been personally forbidden by his mother from going anywhere near the forest, and he has also read on the local news that there is currently a predator of unknown origin or species on the loose, which has been notably attacking sheep from the nearby farm. Mabel teases him about the fact that he believes that this creature is real, and suggests that it might be a werewolf for example; but William doesn’t take her seriously, especially because the creature is supposed to fly.

And... This is the part where my script starts getting wonky. I’ve been trying to fill the holes, but sadly it’s proven to be quite difficult, especially now that I know I won’t be drawing it in comic form anyway. Still, the main plot should be precise enough! The holes are mainly just “there should be some filler and/or foreshadowing to what’s coming here”, with little more than just prompts for what could be happening.

Back in the Mystery Shack’s gift shop, Wendy tries to sneakily question Bill, but when Stan asks them where Mabel went and Bill tells him she skipped her restocking duty so she could spend time with William at the Diner, Stan asks him to get her back. Bill happily takes this opportunity to slip out of the Mystery Shack, and have an excuse to bother Mabel at the same time.

Eventually, William is obligated to accept Mabel’s terms and intends on coming so he can at least make sure that the girls won’t put themselves in danger upon visiting the forest on their own.

Bill arrives at the Diner. William, thinking he is meeting Dipper again, tries to make amends for the things he said the previous day and says that he earnestly thinks they can start again on the right foot; Bill sadistically mocks him instead, all the while pretending to be Dipper, just so he can ruin Mabel’s hopes of reconciling William and Dipper. Bill finishes Mabel by forcing her to leave, saying that Stan expects her to work at the gift shop like she was supposed to since the beginning.

Mabel gone, William and Bill start to have a tense conversation; well, tense on William’s part, while Bill is mostly just having a blast driving William mad. The old fanfic that was the first “draft” version of the story has this chapter, which gathers most of the jokes I intended to keep, and at least some of the plot points. I’ll put a warning for awkward English, though. Oh and also, apparently in the old version it was July 3rd and not July 13th, so in the comic the “tomorrow is July 4th so the forest trip can’t happen anyway” excuse wouldn’t work.

About the Quetzalcoatlus thing: here, have some fun dinosaur size comparisons & history following my latest research on what the pterodactyl from S1E18: Land Before Swine.

William: “And how would you even know all that?”

Bill: “Because I ate Leonardo da Vinci.”

William: “. . .”

William: “… It must have been some VERY cryptic way for you to say that it was one of those conspiracy things mentioned in the old book supposedly written by a genius that you keep reading passionately every day. Right?”

Bill: “Oh, so your brain CAN work sometimes!”

Bill gets bit by a soothquito. His bite marks spell “FHOASE CORECULLY“

Upon leaving the Diner, they both see someone being kidnapped by a member of the Blindeye Society. William insists they immediately go warn the police, but Blubs and Durland prove to be ineffective as ever. Bill slips in one or two facts about the secret society, but William dismisses them completely as other random insane things Bill just happens to say all the time for trolling purposes.

Mabel is back in the Mystery Shack and starts her restocking duty, but her mind is clearly elsewhere. She starts mumbling to herself, but is interrupted by the decapitated head of Larry King who just happened to be in the vents nearby. Mabel isn’t surprised at all to see he survived, and when Larry King starts "interviewing” her about the issues she was mumbling about, she complies. Some time later, while Soos is cleaning up the floor, he overhears Mabel complaining about Bill being a jerk on purpose and making Dipper seem like a terrible person, and ends up hearing pretty much the whole story that way, without Mabel knowing. Soos proceeds to tell Wendy what he heard, helping them putting two and two together-- all the while understanding why Mabel didn’t warn them, and why they should stay silent as well. They decide not to tell Mabel they know her secret; but when Bill comes back later, just as Wendy’s shift was about to end, she has just one thing to tell him:

Wendy: “Tomorrow 6PM. My place.”

Night time; Bill is annoyed, but not very surprised by the fact that Soos is sleeping with him  for the night, in the room on the ground floor where Dipper had relocated. Bill is at least glad he no longer has to pretend to be Dipper around Wendy and him.

Soos proceeds to ask Bill what his intentions were; not just in the present times now that the switch occurred, but also before it.

Soos: “So you really are that triangle guy from two weeks ago?”

Soos: “Now that I'm thinking about it… A lot of things happened two weeks ago. That's when it began to get all wrong. Well, it was already wrong before that, but… That's really when you came that everything started to get all weird and… bad.“

Soos: “It all started because of that Summerween night. What did you want with us?”

Soos: “Why did you tell Dipper that Gideon summoned you?”

Bill: “It was just a job. Jobs are boring. There’s no fun in it if nobody’s trying to stop you.”

Bill: “Oh, and you wanna know the best part? If you’d taken Shooting Star along with you instead of going just the two of you, perhaps you would’ve had an opportunity to beat me.”

Soos: What did you do with Gideon two weeks ago? Dipper and I knew it wasn’t a coincidence that those government guys showed up just the next day. 

Bill: “Something that neither Pine Tree nor I want anybody to find out, I bet. Also if I were to tell you, you'd either faint or spend the next fourteen hours trying to explain it all to Red. Funny, but not worth it.”

Soos is disturbed by Bill’s attitude, because of course he tries to both troll and traumatize at once, and given how Soos was already terrified of Bill because of the Summerween night (”I’ve had nightmares for weeks!” from an earlier comic page), it doesn’t help. Soos tries to ask Bill about the deal he made with Gideon -- more specifically, he asks what Bill wanted in return for stealing the code from Stan’s mind. However, Bill doesn’t answer and instead opens the bedroom door to reveal that Mabel was trying to eavesdrop.

Mabel was mostly there to make sure that everything was alright, and deduces that Bill hadn't slept at all during the first night and that he intends to never sleep at all, even after she tells him that humans need sleep to survive. Thankfully she came prepared with a “surprise gift from Candy and Grenda”, and sprays Bill with Fairy Dust.

Mabel: “There’s probably enough in that bag to knock out a gremloblin in an instant, so I think he’s good for the night. :p”

Once Bill is asleep, Dipper takes this chance to come to his Dreamscape and talk to him one-on-one; and, he is not happy at how Bill treated Mabel so far. Still, after a certain point the conversation gets to a more pressing topic.

Bill: “You saw it happen, didn’t you?”

Bill: “Weirdmageddon. You saw it, right?”

Dipper: “. . .”

Bill: “Oh-ho, even better! There’s a timeline in which YOU make it happen, isn’t there?”

Dipper: “That’s not gonna happen.”

Bill: “Look kid, take it from me. The more you try to actively prevent a specific outcome, the more likely you usually make it happen.”

Dipper: “You can’t make something happen if you specifically stop everything that can lead to it from happening first.”

Dipper: “Even if it includes lying to Mabel…  I saw it. If she learns there’s a way to get me a physical form, she’ll try anything to make it happen and disregard the consequences. I bet she trusts me to keep things under control, but everything else? There’s just... There’s too many variables. We can’t let her know anything about the portal. Or Weirdmageddon.”

Bill: “Well, that doesn’t change anything from my original plan anyway.”

Bill: “So you’re just gonna stay in the Nightmare Realm forever, is that it?”

Dipper: “That’s not much of a plan so far, but that’s still an effective way to save the world.”

Bill: “Don’t mess with me. You DO know that if you don’t make your way to another dimension eventually, you’re just going to die, right?”

Dipper: “... W-what are you talking about?”

Bill: “Wait. You REALLY didn’t figure that out yet?”

Bill: “The Nightmare Realm is unstable. It’s just gonna collapse one of these days, destroy everything in it. Could be in a billion years. Could be tomorrow.”

After leaving Bill’s Dreamscape, Dipper decides to visit Wendy’s and tell her everything. He confirms her doubts, tells her the whole story with the carpet... And he tells her about Weirdmageddon and what Bill just told him about the Nightmare Realm.

Dipper: “I mean, it’s better this way for everyone, and of course I’m not gonna go with Bill’s original plan to destroy the laws of physics or whatever, but… I-I just don’t wanna die, you know?”

Wendy: “Don’t worry. We’ll find a way.”

> Summary of chapters 3 and 4

[beawitched-by-bea]

The Golden Girls Without Men (S1E18 The Operation)

Dorothy with Blanche and Rose takes tap dancing class. During one lesson. Dorothy made wrong move, and it caused a problem for her leg.

Ma, Blanche and Rose insisted that Dorothy needs to go for a check up. As the result, the doctor said she needs an operation on her feet. It meant tap dancing trio (Dorothy, Blanche and Rose) couldn’t exist until later.

At home, Blanche and Rose are practicing trio dancing number without Dorothy. (they pretended she was there and waited while her alone parts were over:)

Dorothy’s operation is scheduled for the day of public dancing. 

Dorothy has to go to hospital to spend the night before the operation in the morning, She hates hospitals, and after some unpleasant  time there (In case the operation is unsuccessful and you will die... , and a priest who mistook rooms and thought she is the dead man) she leaves sneakily to go home with walking stick (take bus etc.)

Blanche is the one who concerned the most (they’re girlfriends, how not?)

She knows if no operation, the situation with Dorothy’s foot will be much worse.

Dorothy agrees, and Blanche drives her back to hospital.

Next day, Rose says Blanche they need to perform their dancing number in front of people. Blanche remembers how she being a little girl was afraid of singing in a group in front of people.  Rose is determined to force Blanche to perform, and she’s trying to drag her, but no result.

“Rose, Dorothy needs me, but dancing isn’t so important. Go alone. You can do it.“

Yes, Rose somehow was able to perform her part alone by expanding it. 

Dorothy has awoken after the operation, she’s seeing her girlfriend and Ma, the people whom she needs the most .

Thanks for “watching.”

To see all the related posts, click #TGG AU

[demiiharperr]

The issues I have with That 70’s Show:

The different ways the Intro Song is sang throughout the seasons. I was content until they introduced Randy and then the whooooole vibe in the song changed.

The on and off relationship of Jackie & Kelso. Their relationship was very unhealthy. The way Jackie would speak to Kelso, followed by Kelso repeatedly cheating on Jackie.

After Season 1 Episode 3, we rarely ever see Steven Hyde without his sunglasses.

In Season 1 Episode 2, Eric got the Vista Cruiser and Red told him all the responsibilities that come with owning the car BUT how was Eric going to afford it? He didn’t get a job until Episode 5.

Season 1 Episode 2, Midge mentions their daughter Valerie but, we never see Valerie. In fact, as the series goes on we’re made to believe Donna is an only child.

Bob. Don Stark’s cheesy acting was sometimes almost unbearable. The delivery on all of his punch lines just never stuck. Every scene they attempted to make him funny always seemed forced. Especially when he’d go “oh boy”. Bob was too corny for me to ever like his character.

Jackie wears a sweater vest with the initials JSB. I’m assuming it stands for her name except... we later find out Jackie’s middle name is Beulah. Her initials would then be JBB. I need answers!

The air hockey game at The Hub that was there for Season 1 Episode 4 and then never again.

You never see the entire view of The Forman’s house or The Pinciotti’s house.

Season 1 Episode 5 Donna mentions her little sister Tina. Again, another Pinciotti daughter that winds up disappearing. She only makes one appearance and then she’s never seen again.

The Forman kitchen table goes from having 3 legs (S1E4) to then only having 1 leg (S1E5)

Danny Bonaduce is another character who’s lines never landed.

(S1E6) Jackie’s mom (Eve Plumb) is showing the house where the gang is trying to throw a kegger. Jackie’s mom in this episode is not the same woman we later came to know as “Jackie’s Mom” (Brooke Shields) way later in the series.

How pot is perceived throughout the show with the moving wall, the floating heads, demonic voices etc.

Donna occasionally entertaining Hyde’s crush he had on her. She then gets upset with Eric when he makes out with Laurie’s friend, Kate, from College.

Hyde willing to learn how to dance, buying gifts — i mean, the lengths this man will go & step out of his own character in order to impress Donna. But, when he begins dating Jackie, the poor girl almost has to pull teeth to get a romantic gesture out of him. HE WAS WILLING TO DANCE TO DISCO FOR DONNA!

(S1E8)The customer service at Blanigans is quite appalling. Between the rude hostess and the singing employees nearly running over The Forman’s, what kind of restaurant is this?! Then as The Forman’s are storming out, you can see a casting extra mouth the words “what the fuck [.....]”. I couldnt make out what the last few words were but my guess is he said “what the fuck is that guys problem?” How did no one catch that?!

(S1E8) Kitty & Red get caught hooking up in their car by a police officer. Them getting caught isn’t the part that’s the issue, it’s the way Red speaks to the officer and then the officer cowers away from him. What kind of cop is this guy?

(S1E9) Kate, Laurie’s friend from college, not giving two fucks about making out with Eric, a boy who is underage. Kate being unmoved by the possibilities of jail time is worrisome.

When do they ever actually go to school?!

How does Laurie stay Red’s favorite? She smokes in front of him, flunks out of college, drinks all of his beer, marries Fez, is caught lying repeatedly, & is openly slut-shamed by the whole gang in front of Red. CAN THIS GIRL REALLY DO NO WRONG?! It’s only when she gets caught living with a man that for a brief moment Eric is the new favorite.

(S1E17) That cringe worthy moment when Bob picks up Donna’s birth control from the Pharmacy and Bob recreates the Macaulay Culkin/Home Alone face. One of the many cheesy Bob moments that I mentioned before.

(S1E18) The frustration of having absolutely no idea what Kelso’s dad actually does for a living. Based off of many Google searches he’s a Senior Executive Statistical Analysis Technician. If you read the description of what a Statistical Analysist does I could see how a teenager like Kelso would get extremely confused.

(S1E18) “Gross Edna” aka Hyde’s mom asks Hyde if he has his fake i.d., to which he replies “you know it”. So, if Hyde has had a fake i.d. this whole time then why is the gang always on a mission to steal beer?!

(S1E18) Jackie working on Red’s car with him on Take Your Kid To Work Day. This is so out of character for Jackie and her knowledge about cars is never brought up again.

The show starts off in 1976 but, halfway through season 1 we’re in 1977. We chill in ‘77 until the end of season 3 when we finally enter 1978. But then, we stay there until season 6. We then wrap up the show with the final seasons all taking place in 1979. Time really doesn’t make any sense throughout That 70’s Show.

THERE’S A BRITISH VERSION OF THIS SHOW?!?! Why do we as human beings continue to do this?! I get it that the remake of a television show into an American version or the remake into a British version can be a huge hit! I also know how much of a fail this can turn out to be. The British tried with recreating the classic Golden Girls (UK: Brighton Belles), Saturday Night Live aka SNL (UK: Saturday Live), Friends (UK: Coupling). Then America tried with Skins (UK: Skins) and The Inbetweeners (UK: The Inbetweeners). Sometimes you just gotta leave the originals alone. But, if you’re interested in watching the British remake of That 70’s Show, the show is called Days Like These.

(S1E22) Eric tells Hyde that he can’t leave for New York because they were “gonna paint that pot leaf on the Water Tower”. BUT WAIT — HOLD UP!! We already saw them paint the pot leaf on the Water Tower (S1E21). The painting of the pot leaf literally happened one episode before Forman says this to Hyde!! It’s the same episode where Kelso falls off the Water Tower and breaks his arm while he was trying to perfect the Pot Leaf Painting to Hyde’s liking. How did Hyde & Eric forget all of this happening? How did the That 70’s Show crew forget this just happened?

Danny Masterson (Hyde) is a Scientologist IRL?! This has nothing to do with the show, i’m just shook.

There’s never a discussion of Hyde losing his virginity. With the rest of the gang they would all sit around and speak in detail about how it was for them. But, not with Hyde. I’m assuming he lost his virginity to Christy (S1E22) since this is the first sexual partner of his we are introduced to but, since the gang doesn’t talk about it WE DONT KNOW!

(S1E23) The very odd almost accepting nature of The Forman family losing Bernice Forman aka Mother Forman. Other than Red’s brother Marty, nobody really showed sadness to losing a loved one.

(S1E10) We finally get to meet Red’s mother, Bernice. She’s very transparent about her hatred for Kitty, which causes everyone to be on edge and want to stay clear of Bernice’s sharp tongue. Fortunately for Eric, his friend Fez is an admirer of Bernice’s feet and rubs them until her whole demeanor changes. She leaves The Forman home complimenting Kitty’s cooking, as well as complimenting their car. Which brings me to this.. They left episode 10 on such a good note! What happened inbetween episode 10 and episode 23 (the episode covering Bernice’s death and funeral)?! By episode 23 Bernice was back to her snarky self and I need answers as to why she couldn’t just stay nice!

(S1E23) The Funeral Director walking over to Bernice’s casket to close her eyes. This is 1. confusing to me & 2. kind of morbid if you think about what that must’ve looked like.

(S1E23) What ever happened to Red’s train set? You can clearly see how much that train set meant to him and how bad he wanted it for himself but, we never see that sentimental train set again.

(S1E23) The cemetery where Mother Forman is buried and Eric goes to visit at night looks a whoooooole awful lot like The Forman’s backyard. Change the stucco of the house and the fence, then add a tomb stone... boom! Eric’s backyard is now a cemetery.

(S1E24) The gang all go skinny dipping meaning they are swimming butt naked. The skinny dipping isn’t where I find an issue. The issue is actually in the episode later on (S4E20) when the gang is reminiscing on the time they’ve spent together over the years. One of the memories being that Kelso is the only one who’s never seen Donna’s boobs. WHICH DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE! They all went skinny dipping together. They were all naked. Kelso being Kelso.. he would’ve definitely made sure he never blinked. Not even for a second if that meant he could see any girl naked. So, Kelso claiming to have never seen Donna’s boobs seems false.

(S1E24) Midge welcoming the members of the Women Warriors group into her home only to have Sharon so disrespectfully flirt with Midge’s husband, Bob. Bob is not clueless to Sharon’s flirting. He actually seems to enjoy as well as entertain this woman making passes at him. This is one of the first signs that Bob & Midge’s marriage may not be eternal.

(S1E24) This is the episode when Hyde moves in with Eric because Edna (Hyde’s mom) has abandoned him. But, what ever happened to the house that Hyde left behind? We’re aware that his mom was renting the place but, he never went back to pick up anymore belongings. Edna was ok with all of her clothes and other things she owned just being tossed out?

(S1E24) Fez’s tattoo. Fez tells the gang that it’s a tattoo of the Blessed Virgin of Yorba Linda. What that looks like we don’t know because we never see it & after this episode we never hear about it again. The only thing Google gave me was that Yorba Linda is a suburban area in California. Who this Blessed Virgin is, we may never know.

(S1E25) Eric attempts to bounce a bowling ball in the living room, resulting in the ball breaking Red’s TV. I understand wanting to replace the television but, I’m also confused as to why they didn’t just take the TV from the basement in place of the broken television until Eric could afford to buy the house a new one. In fact, you never hear of or see Eric purchasing a new TV for the family after this episode. The replacement is all-of-a-sudden there. AND how did Red expect him to buy one? Eric hasn’t had a job since the Fatso Burger episode. Just as soon as he started working, he quit.

(S2E1) The Forman’s & The Pinciotti’s not realizing that they were high. Midge reveals in a later episode(S3E1) that her & Bob partake in smoking marijuana stating “That stuff was right here in our neighborhood? And to think of all the times we have to drive across town..” after finding out that Hyde was arrested for possession. So, if The Pinciotti’s know what smoking pot feels like you’d think they’d know that they were stoned after eating Hyde’s brownies (S2E1). And Red of all people not noticing that something felt a little off after eating the brownies? How’d he not catch on that something felt different? Which would be a solid reason for Red to be mad once he sobered up. But, I guess he never caught on. Weird.

According to an article I read, Red Forman threatened to put his foot in someone’s ass 38 times. I actually question whether or not this is accurate because I swear it felt like he said it at least double that amount of times. Even if he did only threaten people with his foot 38 times, he still never actually followed through with any of his threats. Red was all bark & no bite.

(S2E5) The gang finds out the Kelso is a year older than all of them meaning he could have been buying them beer this whole time. But, let’s not forget that Hyde has also had a fake i.d. and could’ve been doing the purchasing of the beer as well.

There were several times throughout the series when you can see that it was hard for the cast to execute their lines without cracking a smile or laughing. Thankfully they’re playing teenage stoners so, breaking into laughter can be overlooked.

The on going shame the gang continues to throw at Donna for not having sex with Forman. A teenager wanting to wait isn’t a reason for people to not respect her decision.

(S2E7) Donna tells Eric she loves him and he can’t say it back. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK! Eric has been in love with Donna since they’ve met & for him to leave her hanging like that, ugh—- I cant!

The racist references made throughout the whole series. They were mostly directed towards Fez & I’m aware that the 70’s were a different time. But, racism is racism no matter what era we’re talking about. The jokes about not knowing where he’s from or that his accent is weird— this is can be funny. But, once we cross into poking fun at his skin color by calling him by names of people of color.. that’s disrespectful.

(S2E18) Red forgets Eric’s age.

(S2E24) Red forgets Eric’s age AGAIN! His memory is becoming a concern.

(S2E20) How come we’ve never heard of The Pinciotti’s cat, Mr. Bonkers, until now?! & as quick as we’re introduced to the cat he’s out of our lives. RIP Mr. Bonkers’ short lived screen time.

(S3E2) I’m not a fan of watching The Forman’s & Hyde break out into song.

(S3E8)(S3E9)We jumped from Veterans Day to Christmas. What happened to Thanksgiving?!

(S3E15) The way Donna eats this one piece of candy. Very odd.

(S3E16) Red confirms with Eric that Kelso’s parents are dumb. But, in an earlier season we are to believe that Kelso’s dad is a Statistical Analysist. Not a job for dumb people.

(S3E18) The way directors thought we were suppose to believe this poor excuse of a fight between the Girls Lacrosse Team and Eric, Hyde & Fez. The girls were barely even lifting their legs. Unbelievably Unbelievable.

Eric is way too big for his bed. His feet literally hang off the end.

[celticheartedfangirl]

A rant in defense of Grant Ward from a new AoS viewer . . . . . .

So  . . . . . . I’ve been putting it off till I watched the next episode of AoS.  That is done (comments to come) and . . . . . I have opinions.  And I am going to make this very, VERY crystal clear before I start.  

I like Grant Ward and I really, REALLY don’t give a flying fuck what canon or fandom tells me I should think or feel.  And I never will.  

If you can deal with that -- proceed.  If not -- you might not want to come in here.  

To understand where I am coming from:  I am a fandom old.  I’m 51.  I’ve seen and been involved with fandom (and fandom fuckery) since before some of you were even a zygote.  So I know what I’m doing here, I don’t want to hear any “oh you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into here” stuff.  Trust me.  I know EXACTLY what I’m getting into here.  

And therein is my issue.  See -- I have a tendency to be drawn to complex characters.  I pegged Grant as complex from DAY ONE.  Yes DAY ONE.  So please don’t start with the “oh you just like him cause he’s hot” stuff.  Yeah he’s hot.  The actor is HOT AS FUCK.

So what?  Ask the Once Upon a Time fandom about me and my liking characters just for their conventional hotness.  Go ahead.  Ask them.  I’ll wait. . . . . .

Now that that’s done -- look, I get drawn to who I get drawn to.  I didn’t tune into this show because I wanted to drool over the hot guy.  Frankly I didn’t even know there WAS a hot guy on this show.  I mean I assumed because there’s usually one on EVERY show but honestly -- they’re usually not my type. 

That’s why Grant took me by surprise.  He was conventionally hot AND my type.  That literally almost NEVER EVER happens.  EVER.  

I had been watching spoiler free because I am a spoiler whore and wanted to try it for once in my life.  That didn’t last long but .  . . . . I tried.  Okay, I’m still MOSTLY watching spoiler free.  I’d say I’m about 20% spoiled, and most of that spoilage is in regard to Grant Ward.  Because after S1E17 I had to see what in the ever loving fuck I was getting myself into before I proceeded.  So I peeked.

It was pretty much what I expected.

I am soldiering on through this series because despite the fact that I’m NOT HAPPY -- I still enjoy the show.  I’m going to try and proceed spoiler free from here on.  So I’ve currently watched through S1E18.  So please no discussion beyond that.  I know SOME things but not all.  

Okay, back to Grant.  See this is my rub -- and it’s personal.

I’m fucking sick and tired of being drawn to complex characters that get fucked over by the writers because so many television writers don’t have a clue how to write a complex character and wouldn't know how to find one if it bit them in the ass.  

Now . . . maybe. . . just MAYBE . . . AoS will do a better job of it than Once did with my beloved Rumple.  But then again, if we’re comparing ANY other writing team to Once’s -- I mean, an untrained monkey could probably come up with a more cohesive story by throwing darts at a board than the OUAT writers did.  So that’s a pretty low bar there, it won’t be that difficult to overcome.  

Yes, this is PERSONAL.  Because it prevents me from fully enjoying a show THAT I LIKE.

And yes I know it’s not about me.  But I’m MAKING IT about me because it happens all the damn time.  

Still with me?  Okay.  So I’m using this post as a reference point so that I don’t have to keep bitching and ranting like a crazy person in my AoS reviews from here on.  Let me make myself crystal clear here:

I like Grant Ward and I WILL DEFEND HIM.  

I like Skyeward and I WILL SHIP THEM IN HELL. 

I doubt that Skyeward will be an OTP for me (it might) but I enjoy them and look forward to ALL THE FANFIC.  (I’ve literally only had FOUR true OTPs in my life.)  And if they are -- again -- I WILL SHIP THEM IN HELL.  Either way, OTP or just ‘I like that pairing’ -- I WILL SHIP THEM IN HELL. 

I know I’m not supposed to root for Grant Ward.  I don’t care.  After watching S1E18 I can already see a redemption path for him, and I don’t give one level of a fuck about what canon DOES because IT IS THERE.  If canon chooses NOT to got there that is NOT my problem cause IT IS FUCKING THERE. Just like every damn complex character I’ve loved in all of my fangirling years.  

So . . . that is where I stand.  And I am NOT one to budge from my opinions.  If anything, I dig my heels in and ship even HARDER if I’m told I’m not supposed to.  I love and hate even HARDER if I’m told I’m not supposed to.  Again -- ask the OUAT fandom about this.  Go ahead.  I’ll wait . . . . . . 

So . . . . . that being said . . . . . let’s carry on with the AoS reviews.  I’m tagging them #aos and #agents of shield.  I’m also going to start tagging episode titles and get an archive started.

BTW I haven’t heard much from the Grant Ward and Skyeward fandom since I’ve been watching this show.  I’m hoping that will change after this post.  Feel free to message me, whatever.  I’d love to chat!  But please respect that I’m still TRYING to watch spoiler free here, and have only seen through S1E18.  I probably won’t follow your blog yet because I really am trying to stay as spoiler free as possible.  But don’t worry -- I’ve made up my mind.  I’m here.  In the Grant Ward/Skyward fandom.  I’ve been in hell before -- I can handle it.  

[athina39]

gundam ibo rewatch for the orgamika, shinoyama, mcgae

at first i was gonna make an orgamika manifesto (a why ship orgamika?, type of thing) so i rewatched ibo, but then it devolved to just me flailing about and compiling all the orgamika per episode, then the tracing of how/when did mika/orga’s goals changed, then all the shinoyama, then mcgae, then galigali...

but i’m posting anyway, so i don’t forget to finish it eventually lol

this is part one, bec i’m only up to s1e19 as of now:

s1e1 - 1st scene is when mika, after killing someone, presumably for money based on orga's orders, asks what he needs to do next // next scene is mika waking orga up w/a smile, SMILING MIKAAAA // shino tries to discuss girls w/Mika, only to be shut down. also, they explicitly say that mika's not interested in girls // mika pinches eugene's ears off when eugene fights w/orga // orga talks w/ossan & tells him that he can't be seen as uncool, while ossan correctly guesses/adds "by mikazuki...?" - it's correct because orga smiles lol // during the fight, mika reacts when orga finally takes command // mika's dynamic entry has been timed / coordinated by orga // first mention of the "we'll go to somewhere not here, to someplace where we truly belong"

s1e2 mika learns that piloting barbatos can fry his brain, and he says it's ok bec he doesn't use it anyway // during their initial strategy meeting as to how to betray CGS, orga says that he forgot to call mika (is he assuming mika's already tailing him?!), tho he tells them that if mika is against his plan, then they won't push through. shino & eugene are confused, tho orga says that mika won't go against it anyway, because if orga shows his serious, mika will surely respond to him // when mika sees orga beaten up, he LAUGHS and calls orga an "iro otoko" pffft // mika also smiles when he quotes orga re: living instead of dwelling over comrades' deaths // when orga tells mika that there's a job he'd like him to do, mika agrees before orga's finished, taking the gun // when orga teases him that he doesn't even get the specs of the request, mika says he'll listen, but he'll do whatever it is anyway, if orga's already decided on it & orga thanks him for that //

s1e3 pretty domestic scene of orga & mika hanging out in the engine room, while mika eats his favorite; he offers one to orga, tho orga declines --- and they're apparently chilling just before they plan on killing off the CGS higher ups // mika acts as the bodyguard during their coup // when crank appears, orga simply calls out to mika and asks if he "can do it" while mika answers "sure", and everyone's confused, so orga clarifies that he asked mika to kill crank // mika tires of the discussion w/crank and just tells him that orga told him to kill him // mika smiles again when he says that 'tekkadan' (a name that orga decided for their new group w/o any input from others whatsoever, to eugene's annoyance) is a nice name

s1e4 mika shows disinterest in the talk about the future

s1e5 when atra asks them in public to be hired as the cook, mika doesn't react - orga has to prompt him (so i guess orga, like everyone, KNOWS that atra likes mika, while mika's more or less oblivious // also as a sidebit, yamagi asks shino if he likes girls (not if he likes girls *only*, mind) and shino says sure lol! //

s1e6 orga watching over mika & takaki & co learn how to write // and mika ofc reacting to orga's presence // orga & biscuit's convo about orga being so risky - to which orga replies that he feels that mika's eyes are always watching him & asking him as to what to do next & what kind of WAKUWAKU thing he's gonna do // and that he always wants to be the best and coolest in front of mika (cue biscuit's unimpressed look lol) // and we learn that mika was looking for orga // and then mika says that he prioritizes reading/writing so he can help w/mobile suit maintenance AND THEN reading books about farming // cute banter about being tired // orga says that while earth is far, they'll keep on moving forward AND THAT THEY'VE FOUND THEIR PLACE // mika says that orga's decided on it already // orga says that they'll make mika's dream come true //

s1e7 mika being so calculating lol // mika's watching orga as to how he'd react to naze & orga's watching mika back before he decides to do the crazy thing // when naze generously offers to take on tekkadan under his wing and have them work (separately), mika says that he doesn't want everyone to be separated - it's all orga needs to turn down the very reasonable offer // (also omg that shinoyama moment ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

s1e8 mika was... down? after not winning against lafter, but he does cheer up once he hears about orga's raid being successful, so // and mika does consider himself not doing a job well done, he's mopey on top of barbatos even when orga praises him // when orga tries to dissuade him from that thinking, mika still pushes on with the "i need to do better", orga relents and says that "he needs to be better too" // mika reveals that the reason he tries so hard is because he doesn't want orga to have a reason to ditch him - though orga says that there's no such thing as ditching when it comes to family (orga does get embarassed as he says this tho lol)

s1e9 during kudelia's moment of (in)decision re: her half-metal/mars independence movement, mika tells her that she HAS to decide, because her entire future will depend on her decision. this is a parallel to his decision to follow whatever orga decides on (he even says that this is a moment like the time he first killed someone - implied to be that one scene they keep on flashing back on). something noteworthy here is that mika says that it's a decision that must come from the person itself (which should shoot down any 'orga led mika to being his puppet' theories) // orga just looks on worriedly at orga getting carried away at the treats and at drinking // and then mika ends up just rubbing orga's back after he (presumably) throws up // and the way mika jolts after merribit intrudes lol and his reaction as merribit goes away // also, the translation is kinder - orga literally calls the handkerchief STINKING (not just smelling) like a woman // mika just stares at the drunk orga and says that it's the first time he's seen orga like this // but then mika SMILES when orga babbles that the reason he's so HAPPY is because he finally made a family for tekkadan // mika taking care of the drunk orga again - he's so worried about orga catching a cold, he even drapes his jacket on him; such a cute "taku" there too! // when mika and biscuit talk, mika asks if it's okay that he DIDN'T OPPOSE with the decision (that he didn't make, and not up to him to make) without asking orga // though the 99% of the time they were talking mika was looking at the sleeping orga and not biscuit, how rude // "thanks to orga's guts, we can continue to dream" // (also yamagi sulking after shino's night out lol and yamagi sulking even more when shino appears and is all sexed up) // mika, i caught that stare at orga's clothes // and mika being happy at sharing a kanji with orga;;;; - and thanks naze, for unsubtly pointing out that the kanji (that mika likes!) mika and orga's names share means "oneself" // naze foreshadows that orga should not lose this "self" in his character (so if he loses it, it's still w/mika, and vice-versa...) // after the ceremony, mika calls orga cool lol  and orga apologizes for worrying mika;;;; and mika smiles again at orga

s1e10 ossan teases mika about being sad as he's left behind, but mika just admits it lol // and the conversation between shino/eugene/orga... where orga says that he doesn't care for women (women are just fucking betsu ni for him lol), then as they squabble, orga says that he's fine w/the family he has with tekkadan

s1e11 not a lot of orgamika, as the episode focused mostly on akihiro's plot & the gaelio/mcgillis in the middle

s1e12 shino being a bro to akihiro (and mika being a badass by saying outright that he'll try to go easy on his opponent, but he'd kill them if he's in trouble)

s1e13 mika continuing not to mince words to shino // mika looking so unimpressed w/the funeral rites & he doesn't cry when everyone's crying // shino finding yamagi to thank him about the funeral flowers & then yamagi refusing shino's request to make the fireworks again when he dies (though he said it in such a tsundere way tho, just admit that you hate the idea of shino dying already) // also, mika just kisses kudelia after he says that she looks cute after trying to comfort him (hc that he does it so cleanly because he's practiced in doing that lol)

s1e14 mika just goes on as normal after that lol, poor kudelia's so confused // kudelia's side-eyeing mika, but mika's just staring ahead/at orga

s1e15 during the Dolt coup/kidnapping fiasco, orga first checks in on mika's condition instead of y'know, they're client, kudelia // mika being so overprotective of atra and biscuit (mostly atra bec she's the one who's tortured) // also, orga's dynamic entry doesn't surprise mika at all despite hte lack of planning, but biscuit's all surprised

s1e16 not much gay haha;;

s1e17 when they decide what to do re: escaping to the elevators, orga asks mika for the decision, which mika cycles back to "i'll do what you decide, but seeing them getting beaten isn't interesting" // when shino launches, yamagi gives him a video call (as opposed to orga previously just giving him a voice call) and tells him to take care, and shino replies/refers to the funeral flowers again and says that yamagi will not need to make those for him this time // also, when mika recognizes gaelio's voice, he just goes, "you're chocoman's..." lol // also, GALI GALI

s1e18 dat gaelio/ein moment - gaelio proving that he's BEST MAN //

s1e19 such pure gali gali omg // also SHINO trying to console eugene saying that if eugene fails, they'll just think it's good ol' stupid eugene and won't blame him for sending them to their deaths lol // also eugene character dev't!!! // tho shino just laughs at eugene's akogare for orga lol // also, gaelio reminiscing about the past & how carta fell in love at first sight for mcgillis // "the place they truly belong?" "what kind is that?" // amazing + plenty of food + beds, but orga tells him that they won't know what it is untilt hey see it // if i follow you, orga, i'll see lots of things i never have //

[thegooddoctorheadcanonsarchive]

Could you do Shaun and Claire?

Who is more likely to hurt the other? - Shaun is actually more likely to hurt Claire than she is him. He doesn’t mean to, but he’s so unsure about himself in their relationship that sometimes he ends up shutting her out or snapping at a situation he doesn’t know what to do with. She knows it’s not his fault most of the time, but it can still hurt when he tucks away from her or avoids her. Thankfully, it doesn’t happen very often.

Who is emotionally stronger? - Claire is the stronger one of the two, for sure. She’s very calm and collected in most situations; it takes a lot to unnerve her. Usually she’s always there when Shaun gets overwhelmed or strung-out, and she can help him calm down.

Who is physically stronger? -  That’d be Shaun. Claire blames it on him being taller than her— she says if they were the same height she would be the stronger one, which totally makes sense. But in the meantime, Shaun is stronger, and he loves to pick her up around the waist and twirl her around. It makes her collapse into giggles, and Shaun adores her laugh, so he does it all the time.

Who is more likely to break a bone? - Neither of them! These two are overly careful, and let’s be honest, a broken arm isn’t too great for performing surgery. They’re both not the daredevil type anyway, so the risk isn’t really there in the first place.

Who knows best what to say to upset the other? - Shaun has the tendency to say harsher things. He’s very blunt and upfront as it is, and he’s never afraid to call anyone out when it comes down to it. This would correlate into their relationship. He regrets it afterwards, but in the moment, when it comes to fighting, he’s the one more likely to go too far.

Who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? - Shaun is always the first to apologize, and he goes all out. He’ll disappear and show up on Claire’s doorstep later with chocolates and flowers and a miserable expression on his face. He usually keeps apologizing for an hour or so after she forgives him, too, just for good measure.

Who treats who’s wounds more often? - They swap out. Whoever is hurt, the other person is there to take care of them. They’re both experts with what they know so they both trust the other 100%. And they’re both equally worried over the other when they are hurt, too.

Who is in constant need of comfort? - Shaun takes the cake, again. A lot of the time, he can’t shake the idea of him being more of a burden than anything else. It gets especially bad if he’s strung-out about other things, too— everything just pushes down on him and makes him a nervous wreck. Claire is always more than patient with him, though, and she never hesitates to offer that comfort.

Who gets more jealous? - Shaun doesn’t get very ‘jealous’ per-say. He just thinks Claire is far too good for him and he is basically always asking himself why she’s dating him. So he might see Claire talking to some handsome guy, and he might think she would be happier with him, instead. Sometimes he even goes so far as to say that out loud, or ask why she’s with him in the first place, if he’s really feeling inadequate. Her response is to always just kiss the question away, though.

Who’s most likely to walk out on the other? - They are both very committed to the other, and very honest about their feelings. Neither of them are a flight risk in any sense. However, Shaun always worries that Claire will leave him for someone ‘better’ so in his opinion it would probably be her.

Who will propose? - Honestly? Both of them kind of do. Really, it all started because Shaun was feeling so unsure about where they stood as a couple. He was always worried and always uncertain. So Claire just let it drop one day, in casual conversation. They were working the emergency room, and they had the cutest little girl in with a broken arm. As they were seeing her off, all patched up, Claire just announced: “I’d like to have a girl as cute as that when we get married.” Shaun short-circuited, basically. He looked at her and all he could really say was: “When…we get married?” She just shrugged it off, as if it was common knowledge. “Yeah, of course,” she’d said. “When we get married.” And from then on, it was always said, by both her and him. When we get married, we’ll get a house like this. We’ll set up the living room like this. We’ll do this, we’ll visit this place. It got easier for Shaun to see, and because of that he was much less wary about them being together– instead, he was just excited. Claire loved to see his eyes shine brighter with more and more certainty each time he declared it. Eventually, one day, he just turned to her and asked outright: “Would you please marry me?” She was so happy he finally felt comfortable enough to that she almost cried, but all she could really do was laugh and say: “I practically already have.”

Who has the most difficult parents? - They both have had troubled childhoods, and their fair share of bad parents. They don’t see it as a contest; when Shaun hits a bad day and can’t tear his mind away from his past, Claire is there, and when Claire’s mom tries to contact her, Shaun sits with her and listens to her vent. They understand first-hand how bad it feels, so they’re both always willing to drop everything else to support the other.

Who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? - Shaun. At first he wasn’t on board with hand-holding and claimed he didn’t like it. But flash forward in their relationship, and it’s like someone just super-glued their hands together. The instant they go anywhere, Shaun is all smiles, reaching for her. He’s so eager to show everyone else Claire is his girlfriend— it always makes her bubble over with affection.

Who hogs the blankets? - Nobody! They both share the blankets equally; it’s the perfect situation. They don’t cuddle very much, because it’s not really up Shaun’s alley. So they stay on their side of the bed, and that means having no problems with space invasion.

Who gets more sad? - Shaun gets sad more frequently than Claire does. There’s a certain few topics that Claire is very sensitive over, like lost patients, or her mother, or mistakes she’s made in the past. She can get very upset over things like that. Shaun is usually more prone to getting upset about the here-and-now, or things that drag up the past with his dad or with Steve. Either way, one is always there for the other, no matter what.

Who is better at cheering the other up? - Claire is so so talented at cheering Shaun up. She’s practically an expert on it by now. Usually she can just look at him and he’ll crack a smile. But if that doesn’t work, she likes to go above and beyond. We’re talking pancakes, ice cream, relaxing walks in the park— she’ll do anything she can to get that smile she loves back on his face where it belongs.

Who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes? - Neither of them. This has only happened once, when they first started dating. Shaun said something that was annoyingly adorable and on an impulse, Claire reached out to push his shoulder good-naturedly. But the shove caught Shaun really off-guard, and he flinched away from her like she’d punched him. Claire scrambled to apologize, but that almost made it worse. He was quiet and stiff for the rest of the night. It’s never happened since.

Who is more streetwise? - Claire, hands-down. Shaun’s booksmart, but that’s unfortunately where it ends a lot of the time. But it’s alright because she compensates for him. Her street knowledge stretches much farther than just the Flirting Trifecta.

Who is more wise? - They’re both pretty equal. The two of them have been through the wringer and they’re both better off for it. By a slim, slim margin, it’d probably be Claire. She gives better straightforward advice Shaun can rely on, and he goes to her quite a lot because of that. But sometimes Shaun’s viewpoint is the best on a given situation. Claire never counts his wisdom out of the equation.

Who’s the shyest? - Shaun is definitely shyer. Claire could give him the tiniest compliment or the tiniest peck on the cheek and he’s beet red in less than a second. He always gets this huge grin on his face, too; it’s Claire’s absolute favorite thing to see.

Who boasts about the other more? - They are both neck-in-neck in this one. There’s no way of telling. Because, to be frank, neither of them can shut up about the other. Claire loves to go on and on about her wonderful boyfriend and how smart he is and how sweet, and every other sentence out of Shaun’s mouth is about Claire and how beautiful she is and how talented and how she’s his girlfriend, and isn’t he just the luckiest person ever? Friends of theirs have to practically put in earplugs.

Who sits on who’s lap? - It doesn’t happen often because Shaun doesn’t like the pressure, or the feeling of being held down. Claire understands that. Usually she just puts her head down on his shoulder, and leans against him. He prefers it that way, and sometimes he puts his head down on hers, too. They fell asleep like that one time at work. Carly took a picture.