#Making this non-reblogable bc it's just a vent

[dangerous-disposition]

People: [read a Steddie fic]

Steddie Fic: [is about Steddie and the characters in it are largely focused on the Steddie aspect as it is... A fic about Steve and Eddie. Maybe hones in on Robin being the first gay person Steve has probably KNOWN he's fucking met in his entire life and plays on that for his Sexuality Crisis]

People: why do all the characters seem to only care about Steddie? Why do these Steddie fics that are about Steve and Eddie not show the women do anything that aren't about Steve and Eddie? This fandom has a woman problem.

[ramenheim]

About prev reblogs: I have never seen TME used to complain about & demarcate cis men's behaviours.

Despite the term ostensibly lumping together *almost any gender configuration that isn't binarily trans woman*, the only times it's used recently is to complain about (trans) ppl that get lumped in with cis women (as intersex ppl trans or otherwise are *never* factored into this dichotomy anyways), including cis women themselves.

I have never once seen it used to delineate trans women from cis men, even as it gets used to delineate cis women's experiences from trans women's experiences. I have only seen /haphazard/ acknowledgement of non-binary experiences included in TMA, but only really as an afterthought or when it's framed as the precursor to 'fully realizing trans womanhood'. I've only seen intersex folks brought up if they elect to use the terms TME/TMA for themselves, with bizarro interrogations into 'how' they were raised/had their genitals 'corrected' only once they individually disagreed with the terminology or had a confounding opinion in a public discussion.

It is regularly used to delineate trans men from trans women; but its users almost uniformly deride any attempt by trans men to coin a term to describe their own unique combinatory transphobia that isn't TME; again despite TME literally just supposing to mean 'transmisogyny-exempt'.... so why would it be used to discuss trans men's *unique* experiences with hatred directed at the fact that they either "are/aren't (real) men" by anyone who wants them to suffer?

It's been *changed* into hastily recycled AGAB terminology bc of wider recognition of the flaws with /that/ but without the driving flaws of that **tool for analysis** ever being fully addressed; and therefore has gotten subsumed into the 'new euphemism' for the Innie vs Outie false dichotomy as its usage became more widespread.

I think it still is a useful discussion tool ONLY when it's viewed *as a tool* and not some inherent marker of identity. It is DEFINITELY just bigotry when used as a NOUN that has negative behaviours ascribed to it, esp in the context of complaining about trans men** as a whole homogenized group, instead of highlighting individual behaviours/belief systems for the harm they contribute to against TMA trans/nb ppl.

Young queers really need to stop swallowing the tradcath radfem juice of "Women Pure + Good & Men Bad + Evil" [**that tumblr feminism has always had a problem with] and acting like you aren't being a transphobic shitheel by adding the word Trans in front of it-- & This is ESPECIALLY a problem when non-trans "Allies" do this, as it sets up trans women for failure whenever they make a mistake/can be reframed as 'being a cause-traitor' since women are punished more harshly for any percieved failure of Righteousness, AND allows them further to enact their unbridled transphobia onto trans men (& enbys/genderqweirdos) and pass it off as 'being an ally to trans women'..... despite them just being extremely transphobic (+ misogynistic + homphobic + intersexist) & then hiding behind """"TMAs"""" as a negative PR meatshield.

TL;DR if you are using TME to mean (nc)AFAB in vent posts, just have the guts to fucking use that as the word & see how it reads then.

(**since transmasc & transfem do not imply either a 'starting' or 'finalized' gender state; they are personal adjectives in and of themselves. Please do not warp them into new innie vs outie binary divides).

[**see related: the raw ass treatment of 'AMAB enbys' on here and in similar online/irl "feminist" environments. (Which was one of the driving factors behind the original TMA/TME coinage & is where I still find useful inter-trans discussions utilizing it as a term; importantly I don't think the term should stop being used altogether!!)]

[catinasink]

Introduction

included below: what yall can refer to me as, what my posts are about, and ao3 fics. also i tend to use the queue for posts tagged schoolposting btw :) if you found this through my writing: i will attempt to update at least once every two weeks! please give this a read before following :3 send an ask if you want to be added to my taglist lols

side blog: @catinasink-writes

most recent edit: 01/22/24

name:

catinasink, or cat (no capitalization)

pronouns:

they/it ?? perhaps?? trying those out

age:

minor

labels:

agender neptunic/lesbian aroacespec (cupioromantic or grayromantic, some flavor of ace)

what are my posts about:

i tend to reblog a lot of stuff on my for you page, but i'm also in the marauders fandom and sometimes i post pictures of my cats, and also offer up updates on my writing, also genshin impact

can you tag me/ask me questions/etc:

yes! i would love that

pets:

two cats: kim and shego <3 theyre both girls

likes:

reading, writing, cats, marauders, music

DNI:

MAPs/pedophiles, queerphobes, bigots, the usual ig, also if you're over 25 i would prefer if you didnt interact with me

timezone shit:

the united states, PST

preferences for terms:

pls dont capitalize my name, pls dont formally address me

nono terms: guy, bro, girl, sis, gal, man, etc. (basically pretty much all gendered terms)

ok terms: bbg as long as you dont type it out as babygirl, any petnames are fine

i might call myself a girl or a boy as a joke. dont take this as permission to call me that, pls and thank you x

other random shit:

i would appreciate the use of tone tags if you feel like your words are too vague :>, also asks are open for just about anything

am between slytherin and ravenclaw, however lean more towards slytherin

am INTP-T if you care abt that

Scorpio sun, Sagittarius moon, Scorpio rising (I believe), as well as pandora sun, lily moon, and regulus rising

will post about my classes outside of school, which include: art, aikido, ballroom dance, math, and russian

i speak english n russian

tags:

ramblies/vents/non-reblogs that dont fall into any other categories: #cat's rambles

cat photos/posts mentioning my cat: #cat's cat

fic updates (more of my writing is on my sideblog): #cat's writing

my asks: #cat's asks

my wonderful friend @this-is-me-lolol: #basil my beloved &lt;3

posts i make at school (usually queued): #cat's schoolposting

music related posts: #cat's lyricposting

dear anon: #cat's dear anon

blender anon: #cat's blender anon

dreamscape nexus: #Dreamscape Nexus

Ao3 details

my account

i've got a good feeling that we could be something

rated T

the Selection but rosestarkillerchaser

features the Blacks as the Schreaves

the Order as the rebellion

rosestarkillerchaser, emmarlily, wolfstar

unfinished

watching pixar on a school night

rated T

a texting fic for the marauders 5th year and skittles 4th year

modern au w magic

rosestarkillerchaser, emmarpanlily/sunkeeperflowerseer, wolfstar

background benjy/peter + nobleflower + frank

slowburn

unfinished

they're so pretty it hurts (i'm not talking about boys, i'm talking about girls)

rated T

oneshot about marlene

in the universe of wpoasn

features slavic marlene!! bc that is my love >>

also ace marlene!

2.7k words

finished (oneshot)

dear angel lacy, eyes white as daisies

rated T

in the universe of wpoasn

noblesea (molly and alice) focused

has noblesea, nobleflower, and fralice (polyam alice)

slowburn

unfinished

[reigen-small-naturals]

okay i am knees deep in the UK law and i just want to vent all my findings please lawyers and data analysts correct me if i am wrong about anything.

huge trigger warnings for transphobia, rape, prisons, UK law fuckery. it's a post from somebody who isn't qualified to talk about law and statistics around rape, correcting somebody who is also super unqualified to do it. reblog with caution, or better just steal my ideas and improve them in your own posts.

so i saw this data viz under JKR's tweet

first thing that caught my attention is WOW that's an awful viz???? sample size of trans women is so much smaller than cis ppl like you can't just make this visual of 1177 per million trans women rapists out of 56 bcs there are just no million trans women in the UK????

but okay let's start with the elephant in the room: this viz is mostly to show that trans women rape much more often than cis women and trans men. so it turns out that UK law only recognizes rape done by somebody with a penis (https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/1/2009-11-12). therefore obviously the percentage of convicted of rape trans women will be much higher than of cis women.

now to the fact that trans women rape more often than cis men. i am less sure about this part, bcs it all generally deals with sampling issues, so please please please fact check me here. i went to read the article this picture is from (https://scientificparentofatranskid.substack.com/p/fact-check-rates-of-sexual-offending). they get 1177 per million sex offenders if they look at a proportion of sex offenders (56) to all trans women in the UK (47k). however, when they look at a proportion of sex offenders to all AMAB transgender individuals in the UK (120k), they get numbers that are very close to what they have with cis men.

then they later conclude that 1177 per million stat is more accurate, because the gov official replied to them that all of these 5 offenders identify as trans women only, but then also they say that non-binary AMAB individuals don't commit rape, which is... weird? i think it makes more sense that the percentage would be more or less equal between all genders (obviously, we still have to deal with the fact, that in UK only people with penis can rape, but you know what i mean)? like i guess it's harder to identify as non-binary in prison, which gives you only two options of where to be incarcerated.

BUT 'the numbers just line up better that way' is a biased reasoning. there could be many more reasons, why percentage-wise the number is much higher. an example that comes to mind is the fact that more black people are incarcerated in the US. we would make a mistake to assume that it's because they are more dangerous than white people. and, once again, oh boy these sample sizes.

i want to end this post with another mention of the fact that this topic is extremely complicated, rape is extremely under reported, it's even worse when we are talking about rape in queer relationships and when rape is done by a cis woman, which isn't a thing in UK's legal system apparently. it must be repeated, because JKR and her supporters talk about these issues very carelessly. they don't talk about prison rape, they don't talk about prison rape done by officers, both of which are very common. they are not careful with their findings, with statistics, with sample sizes.

[adelle-ein]

i don't want to use twitter anymore so i might vent on here a bit

it will always be under readmore and i'm going to use the additional tag below if you want to blacklist. also these are never reblog friendly, if for whatever reason reblogs are on i would really appreciate you telling me so that i can turn them off!

this is just a "my mutuals keep retweeting nazi conspiracies dressed up in progressive language" post. i know they have good intentions. i know they're trying to help palestine. and i'm trying to keep that in mind.

but when you retweet things about how the whole conflict (not a great word, but what is at this point?) is a conspiracy so (((they))) can make money, idk, i feel like that's beyond the pale a bit

but do i even have the right to complain when people are dying? idk. i just wish people (non-palestinians nowhere near palestine) would...think a little. and maybe check sources if something looks dubious, bc some of these 18 y/o influencers have completely fallen down the tiktok rabbit hole and are tweeting about how jews made up antisemitism as a concept so they could kill palestinians which, again, i think crosses all kinds of lines and means they shouldn't be given publicity. and some of the news "sources" used are...very bad. not great. far right lunacy actually.

[trudemaethien]

FIC MASTERLIST

Fics are grouped by rating, then alphabetical (except series, which will be posted by series name with titles color coded for their individual ratings). These links will take you to the respective tumblr posts, which are in turn linked to the stories on AO3. You’ll need to be logged into AO3 in order to read, as I archive-lock everything I write.

🥳 I hit the link limit (100) so ToC pt. 1 is complete. (pls lmk if any links are broken bc I will fix them) Please enjoy and feel free to reblog any you like 😊

Table of Contents, Part 1

[G]

Give Those Back This Instant!

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Legacy of my Life

Special Forces

There Rose Such A Clatter

Werdlaara: Ad be Haar Au Be’catra • Gaan’ike • Haar Jai’galaar bal Haar Laar’senaar • Mhi An Jurir • Ner Verd’ika • ni copa

[T]

Bacara Knits (Soft Wars): Knitting is Soldiers’ Work • Every Burden, Layette Down • Shall I Spin You A Yarn • Worry Knot

Restoration and Reclamation

Four and Twenty Blackbirds Baked in a Pie

from your lips, a kiss

Seen, Known, Loved (Changed)

Song of Songs: Laar’riduur

Unit Cohesion

[M]

Adenn (Merciless) • How Painful the Dream I Do Not Wake From

Boots on the Ground

Butt Fucking

A Gentleman and An Officer

Ghost Legion

[E] (biggest section 😊😅😌)

Artists Unknown

Blossom

Closer

Electromagnetic

f(x)=√25e^2: You Don’t Have To (No I’m Gonna) • plus podfic by flowerparrish! • And Do I Dream Again • Move Everything Slightly to the Left, to the Right

Holder of Sheaves

I know your Name as I do my own

Intersection of Non-Standard Genders: As Above, So Below • Down We Go Together • Woke Up Alone In Our Bed • Hand in Lovable Hand

Ke’bajuri

Kiss of Danger (CoD MW, https://archiveofourown.org/works/43655341 🔒)

Kriff Squad: For Fucks Sake • Hay Babe, I Herd Ewe Might be Down to Flock • CG Report Form HKU-575/1010 • Zero Fox • Defenestration and Other Romantic Activities

Look Down to the Infinite Depths

(loving you is) not a chore

Merverse: Ocean Torrents • Hold Me, Thrill Me, Ke’murcyu Ni • Take My Haal Awayyy • Edeemi, Baby, One More Time • Bring Me To Oya • Shoulda Put a Brii’rud On It • Be’chaaj In Your Rock and Roll • Something in the Sho’cye

No Consent on Kamino: Danger to the Body • Ground Zero: First Time Hurts, Kid • Odd Ones Out • Bloody Inconvenient • Just a Little Prick • Ad-vent-ure • Looking Good plus podfic by flowerparrish! • Push to the Limit • Does Not Occur In Isolation

Purple Butterfly: I do? I do. • I Take Thee

A Proud Man May Kneel

Rocky Start

The Scourge Lays Low All In Its Wake

Served Cold plus🔒https://archiveofourown.org/works/48494416 podfic by stargateinmybasement

Torrent’s Vod’ika: Color Me Curious • Satisfaction Brought Her Back plus🔒https://archiveofourown.org/works/49569277 podfic by stargateinmybasement

shu’tup and fuck me hard,case

split ourself wide open

trust me to see you home safe

Repcomm (All Ratings)

All Fun and Games • Nine Tenths

An Ehn

Boom Boys (Ke’bajuri)

everything about you pisses me off

Faces Indistinguishable in the Dark

Family Formed

For Taking, Forgiving

I’m Not Lost, I’m Right Where I Need To Be

love in all the wrong places

Make It Hurt

Mentality

Now and Then (i wonder what u see in me)

Offer. Consideration. Acceptance. Mutuality.

Only Good Things in Storr For You

Percussive Recalibration

Send My Love

Watch My Battleskirt

[chanrizard]

I'm in tears... Every now n then you post some of your thoughts and they resonate so much with me but your reblogs are always off on em T7T

Like I love your gifs and those get reblogs from me too but some times I wanna reblog your text posts bc like aksjsiqkske same! Relatable! I'mma cry T7T

im so sorry anon (and incredibly honored too!) it's just that before they introduced the reblog control option sometimes people would reblog things that i really, really wished had remained on my blog because they were a bit more personal and now most of the time when i make a post non-rebloggable it's because it's basically just me rambling in a text instead of doing so in the tags, they're a note-to-self of sort and i think seeing them on someone else's blog would weird me out a bit tbh 😅

other times it's because i just want to vent in peace without swinging a bat at the proverbial hornet nest. im here to have a good time and relax, i love me some drama from time to time and snacking on the metaphorical popcorns while watching it unfold - but only when it doesn't involve me or friends directly lmao

all this to say i can't promise you i'll make them all reblogabble from now on because idk it still makes me a little uncomfortable and i honestly don't think i have anything *that* interesting to say lmao at the end of the day im just a random girl with a blog but i can try <3

[windswept-shapeshifter]

Tags Guide/Directory

For the sake of organization/navigation purposes.

༺ pinboard

Important things on a somewhat personal level? a bit hard to explain

༺ windswept posts

My posts :D

༺ and when I dream, i’ll fly away

Posts that invoke desire to fly.

༺ can you hear the sirens?

Mermaid/Ocean vibes tag.

༺ crow’s collections

Crow :D and other corvid or corvidcore things

༺ crying at the moon

I’m. normal about the moon

༺ i am the wild

Kind of an ‘aesthetic of this blog’ tag, focusing on the wild/angrier side of this blog / alterhumanity.

༺ literally me (sonas)

Personas, fursonas, low-key sonas, etc.

༺ lone wolf

bc I’m lonely lmao. Posts that incite loneliness / wholesome vibes / desire for friendship. Yes it’s complicated and self-contradictory, don’t worry about it. It’s a compliment(? Makes me feel something, so)

༺ my love is the wind

Posts about / that incite my love for the wind. I’m normal about her dw about it

༺ posts that make me want to go home (as it exists in my heart)

Also hard to explain. If I tag your art with this it’s also meant to be a compliment in the sense it made me feel something

༺ running with the wolves

Wolfposting.

༺ species envy

I want.

༺ the aesthetic of this blog fr

Is it weird to assign a sideblog an aesthetic? If I tag your art with this it’s also meant to be a compliment in the sense it made me feel something

༺ you are the meaning of love

Conceptkin moment

༺ alterhuman gear

Masks, ears, tails, paws, articles of clothing, fursuits, collars, etc.

༺ alterhuman reblogs

My reblogs of therian/otherkin/alterhuman/speciesqueer/etc. related posts, or speciesqueer-coded posts.

༺ animal pictures

Posts that contain pictures or videos of / focused on irl animals.

༺ cool flags

Gender/Orientation/etc. (usually xenogender) flags I just thought were neat :P

༺ irl / psa

Important / irl / non-therian/otherkin/nonhuman/alterhuman-related stuff.

༺ landscapes

Pictures and drawings of the outdoors, generally not containing / focusing on any animals.

༺ meeting new people

“Reblog if you are/post” type things, generally.

​༺ miscellaneous

Anything that doesn’t fit under another tag.

༺ moodboards

Collections of images meant to give off a certain Vibe.

༺ others’ art

Things other people made! Usually digital art, also some traditional arts and crafts

༺ polls

Tumblr polls.

༺ shitposts

What it says on the tin.

༺ stimboards

Collections of animated ‘stims’ / images meant to be stimulating/satisfying.

༺ the legend of zelda

Mostly Twilight Princess because that is so species + ‘the aesthetic of this blog fr’ to me

༺ windswept howls

Mostly vent-adjacent and similar. Also includes stuff I just don’t want to use my ‘windswept posts’ tag for lmao

༺ chainandfeather

Posts from my whump sideblog, mostly art.

༺ galaxicalsart

My art that’s posted to my art sideblog.

༺ galaxicalswriting

My writing/vibeposting that’s posted to my writing sideblog.

༺ galaxicalsphotography

My pictures that are posted to my photography sideblog.

༺ galaxicalstims

My stims/stimboards that are posted to my stim sideblog.

[notarobooot]

Not a vent but like

Basically I fuvkinv have something wrong with me idk what it is but like whenever I get like rejection or people telling me I've done something wrong its like. Not a normal reaction. Not even a bit of a dramatic reaction. Like I genuinely want to fucking die it causes severe mental breakdowns and panic attacks. That has happened today. First I was stupid and accidentally reblogged something from one of my roleplay blogs to my main and it git to the point where someone else had to tell me, which only would've caused a small panic attack on its own but also this morning I got an ask from an 18+ minors dni account on that same role play account. I didn't know what to do so I thought it would be fine if I just ignored their entire account but interacted only in a non-18+ way on that one singular thread. I know that was dumb of me I just didn't know what the fuck else to do. I don't know social rules. I can't pick up on secret magic etiquette. How was I ment to know what to say. I had to be told. That I was a ffuvkinh idiot and a pathetic little bitch by the person I care most about in the world. I know he had to tell me and I know he didn't mean it like that but that's how the thing wrong with me makes it.

I'm having like the worst mental breakdown ever and have just had a major relapse in the self-pain-blood-bad causing action (can't say bc trigger) and there's blood and tears everywhere and I want to die I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.

[asexualjedi]

These mood swings are making my anxiety worse. I think bc I’m really frustrated and worried about like. When I’ll be able to get a doctors appointment to fix this, how quickly this will resolve. And like since my birth control is I’m pretty sure causing this (looking back I can kinda see like this is a problem that I think has been slowly getting worse) and like my last birth control also caused this and. Like none of my birth controls have made the cramps stop??? And like idk like what am I gonna do dog lol. Like that’s what the doctor is gonna tell me but idk. How long I’m gonna have to wait and I’m worried it’ll be a while. But. I’m gonna see if I can go ahead and schedule anything on my chart since it’s been a while since the nurse said anything and idk they aren’t open on weekends but maybe I can still schedule.

[gmos]

anyone know how to deal with immense lifelong personal trauma without talking to anyone about it

[badface]

Sometimes it feels like a mistake to have told my close friends that im going by he/him for almost a month now, bc they immediately default to thinking im a guy by either calling me a boy or any sort of male roles even when joking, like- I shouldn’t have even bothered I guess-

[saetoru]

PLEASE READ RULES TO FIND MY MASTERLIST

INTERACTION . . .

please refrain from copying my theme or layouts. do not steal/save any of my dividers. i make/customize most of them myself and i make them for my usage purposes only so do not save anything directly from my blog. also do not use or copy my “minors do not interact” banners such as this:

must be 18+. basic dni criteria. have an age in your bio before interacting or following—this blog engages with nsfw & dark content

do not recommend me on ANY platforms outside of tumblr especially tik tok. no translating my work anywhere. no reposting. no using for asmr content. no plagiarizing.

do not spam asks/my talking posts. writing is fine as long as you reblog too

do not comment criticism on my writing. i didn’t ask. you will be immediately blocked

i shit post and have a lot of non writing posts. please unfollow me if that bothers you

this blog is not spoiler free unless it’s a recently released chapter: then i will tag it with #(fandom) spoilers

do not interact if you are anti-aging up. end of discussion.

do NOT say slurs in my inbox, bring up things about politics or religion, ask me personal questions, or vent to me about your personal things

do not bring up topics such as rape, suicide, self harm, pedophilia, eating disorders, depression, etc.

please do not call me bitch, slut, hoe, whore, etc. even if it’s affectionate unless we’re close. please do not playfully curse me out unless we are friends. i just ask you don’t get too comfortable unless we’re close or else it feels weird

my dm’s are set so that only people i follow can dm me. if you have something important to tell me privately but i don’t follow you, reach out to me through my ask box and indicate you’d like for this to be kept between us and tell me the issue you’d like to discuss. i will either answer privately or dm you myself

do not ask to be mutuals ; do not ask why if i break the mutual. i soft block to break the mutual, i hard block if you’ve made me uncomfortable

if you have been blocked, it can be for a number of reasons such as tag abuse, no age in your bio, posting problematic stances on dash, making me personally uncomfortable through an interaction, etc. if you suspect i have blocked you because you didn’t have your age in your bio, and you have since then remedied that, feel free to send an anon ask and let me know your url and that you’ve added an age. if that was the reason why i blocked, then i’ll happily unblock you (i wont post the ask don’t worry.) if that was not why, i will not unblock you and simply ignore your ask—please refrain from further reaching out if that is the case.

i try my best to answer asks and i do enjoy / appreciate interactions. that being said, i do get drained / busy often, and answering asks can be difficult for me so please be patient and please don’t rush / send the same ask multiple times. if i don’t end up answering it’s probably bc my asks have piled up and i’ve deleted old ones, i do apologize if that happens to yours i’m trying my best :,)

WRITING . . .

i do not take requests, but you can always leave thirsts in my inbox and if i’m inspired i’ll write a drabble on it. but again, i do not take requests for plots/scenarios

things that i won’t write for include: eating disorders, mental health, sacrilege, daddy kink, scat, vore, vomit, feet, lactation, noncon, and possibly more i’ll add along the way

if you’re actually reading my rules and not just skipping to the bottom—to find my masterlist, go to my pinned post and click “onlyfans”

do not ask me to specify the appearance of reader. i write gender neutral only for sfw works (unless it involves pregnancy) so don't suggest for gender to be specified. for nsfw works, it will vary between fem! reader and afab! reader most of the time, but it may occasionally be gender neutral

i do not have a post schedule, just when i find the time nor do i have a taglist

[genderkoolaid]

hi, sorry if this is bothersome but i'm feeling really shitty and have questions and don't know who else to turn to. i recently made a post about how my friends talk in a very condescending way about men and how in general people complaining about men being trash in front of me makes me feel bad and like they think i'm inferior (i'm a trans man). i got a reply that accused me of wanting women to be uncomfortable around me and being misogynistic on order to be accepted by cis men. and that i should be thankful that women are comfortable complaining about men around me bcs that means they see me as non-threatening. it made me think - should i just suck it up? this is a reoccurring theme in my life that evolved into a microtrauma - i hate when people shit on men around me, i both take it personally and sometimes i see it just as being a shitty person when those women aren't complaining about something that men did to them, just saying how weak and stupid men are. i have lost 2 friends because they kept making fun of men and then of me for being a man. and i'm just wondering, if i really should just empathize with them and ignore my feelings - if that's the right thing to to - or if i'm allowed to feel what i feel (hurt, angry, sad, like they think i'm inferior, that they're being unfair and mean) and maybe even call them out or just express my feelings in a non-threatening way. because i feel shitty as hell - i feel inferior and also misgendered somehow. but what if i'm ignoring women's issues and being misogynistic? what if i just need to be more considerate?

a continuation of that ask about being uncomfortable when people shit on men: i just remembered i wanted to express this too. again, sorry of you don't want people venting into your inbox. from all the transandrophobia on the internet, i developed this microtrauma that is manifesting in fear of women and women focused lgbt spaces. i'm not afraid of all women, this is specifically only on the internet and it's not on a big scale. also mostly on tumblr. what happens is that i see posts specifically about, like, girls being absolutely amazing, or like, trans women specifically needing help. and i get this whiplash of like, fear that something against men or trans men will follow. it usually doesn't and i might even reblog that post. but there's still this fear that there are so many women on the internet that hate men and trans men specifically and will look down on me and will harrass me and it could be anyone. and anything that even remotely reminds me of anti-trans-men posts will make me feel scared just for a few seconds. like those posts that go "support trans people, especially trans women!" or even absolutely innocent posts. and i feel pretty guilty for that, i mean feeling bad bcs of a post that supports women (trans or cis) sounds like (trans)misogyny. but i rationally don't have anything against that, i mean i'm a feminist and i'm all for trans women's rights and happiness. i support trans (and cis) women. it's just the trauma, bcs anti-transmascs often support trans (and cis) women and compare us with them. i'm just scared that those women will hate me. idk i just wanted to tell someone and be heard. i'm so tired and i know i should go off the internet, i'm gonna do that now. thank you so much for reading.

For lack of a less stereotypical phrase, your feelings are valid.

A lot of the "men are bad" stuff comes from genuine experiences with misogynstic men. Venting about that is not bad, but "venting about your oppression is good" does not mean that "venting can never be done in a hurtful way". If you were to talk condescendingly about women constantly because of how you've been hurt by women around your woman friends, it would be kind of a dick move. The same goes for cis women. Venting about how you've been hurt by men isn't bad, but that doesn't mean you have free range to say whatever you want with no thought for how it impacts people because "I'm venting about my oppression!" Your ex-friends should've listened to how they made you feel, because it's not right to excuse you hurting your friend. Especially when you are a trans man and already experience shame and hatred for being a man. Hurting other people and continuing to do to it when they tell you they've been hurt isn't excusable.

Obviously, you shouldn't let this let you become irrationally suspicious or negative towards women. But you also are not a bad person for reacting to constant stress and discrimination. When you constantly deal with sudden discrimination and harassment from people, it's natural to start getting suspicious or upset when you see things that remind you of that. I get the same way! Seeing posts and being hit with the worry of "would this person be normal about me? Would they harass me? Is this post innocent or an underhanded way of hurting me?" It's upsetting to have that reaction, because you want to just be happy and supportive. But the microtrauma of having those posts be connected to transandrophobia again and again takes it's toll, and it doesn't make you a bad person for having a reaction to that. The fact that transmascs have this microtrauma in general is a sign that there is something wrong with the online community and how it treats transmascs.

[isa-ghost]

How do you hold onto hope that anything will be done with Anti or any of Sean's Egos? I fell out of love for JSE and his content about three years ago due to.. I guess just growing up? But I used to check back in from time to time because he used to promise that "Big Thing's" we're coming for his Egos. (Mind you this was before the pandemic took full effect so there wasn't that as an excuse.) I just recently checked his channel and saw he has taken a step back (Good for him and his mental health if he needs that!) from making content. Did he burn out? Is he ever going to do anything with the Ego's? I don't even know why I care at this point? I guess I just want logical answers and you are the smartest JSE fan I know? Anywho. Sorry for the rant. I'll get out of your asks. 🌶

Oookay unpacking this ask time.

Anon thanks in advance for sending this because as feisty as I felt at first, it helped me get out a lot of things I've wanted to say in this regard for a Long Long Time so, yeah. Thank you.

1. Personally I don't like the term "grew up" in reference to CCs or much of anything tbh, because you're rarely too old to enjoy the things you love. But I get what you mean regardless. Just wanted to plop out my take on that topic in general. Never think you're too old to enjoy something harmless though. :)

2. I've been shaky on hope lately, to be honest. He's not been doing a ton of videos in general lately, minus some strays and the Deltarune Chapter 2 series (I genuinely didnt expect him to play it bc he hadnt played another recently released big game I wanted to see him play but he did, and I'm super grateful bc it was killing me lowkey). Which obviously the decision not to make a ton of content at the moment is okay. He's very burnt out, he's been having severe health issues both physically and on/off mentally. The lack of content and low energy he's had lately is just disheartening if that's the right word idk. BUT!! We DO have a MASSIVE Thankmas stream coming in December to look forward to!

I miss him and some days I get kinda,, idk, bitter? About the radio silence. But unlike a lot of people that have been in and out of the JSE Community between 2018 to now, I respect his health and the fact that he's a whole ass human being and has a life and other things he is more than free to do instead whenever the fuck he wants. TLDR I think have better critical thinking skills than some people on here and Twitter lmao. And the last few years have been shit, both in the world and- at least on here -in the community (dare I mention the t*ablogs). Though lately the community is quiet and very very peaceful and enjoyable again. At least in my corner here.

The thing is, I'm not and was never here ONLY for egos. I love Sean and everything about him to bits. He made one of the worst few years I had in the 2010s infinitely more bearable and gave me an explosive amount of inspiration for creativity that I'd not really experienced before. And friends I'll never let go of.

I miss ego content. I want it to keep going. I'm extremely sad it might not continue. But as an artist, I know why he was promising big things once upon a time. When you're a creator and you have a story like this, you want to flesh it out. The motivation and muse is high. People are excited and you want to deliver. The difference with Sean is that he wanted it to be as high in quality as he could push for after all our excitement and incessant thirst for more. And his plans involved a budget and more than just himself and none of it was his main focus. It was a fun side project.

HOWEVER, big projects like this get interrupted by life, smaller projects, distractions and other things. Sean got SLAMMED by all of the above non-stop these last few years and then hit a bad burnout. I think that through it all, he hit that dreaded wall some artists with big, long term plans like the egos story hit and lost motivation. It got overhyped. Pressure got too crushing. Any plans he made to FINALLY continue the ego storyline got murdered by Covid more than once (which.. personally the term "excuse" sounds kinda shitty in reference to that imo but I digress). Making promises only to have outside variables beyond his control break them was killing him, so he just stopped promising. And people who have no respect or patience got annoying and some got straight up inexcusably vulgar, immature and hateful before dramatically fleeing the community in a tantrum like he'd personally come to their house and betrayed them. It was infuriating to watch go down.

But no matter how much it might hurt or be disappointing to see it die out, I'm here for Sean and his journey no matter where it takes him. I'm not sitting here being a stubborn beacon of anything. And I also recognize and (no matter how reluctantly) respect that we aren't OWED ego content. Never were. It was not an obligation no matter how many promises he made or how much hype he stirred up. And to be fair? We drove the hype a million miles further than he EVER did and we can't blame him for that. I hate the people who do. I'm grateful for the ego content we got and I'll cry if we ever get more. But if it's done, it's done and we just have to accept it. I, as sad as I am to, accept it. And we can always make our own.

And finally- thanks for the compliment. Idk if I'd say I'm the SMARTEST but that means a lot either way. :')

I hope this gave some answers even though it came out more of a vent/rant and PSA??

Obviously any JSE followers and mutuals please feel free to reblog this. But don't start any fights, not that I really expect there to be any?

[mikewheeler]

Vent o’clock: People need to understand that shipping will and mike is fine, but it’s truly (and I’m sorry to say this to Mike and will fans) not gonna happen. Not only is it too late to develop a relationship like this in the last season of a show. But also, There has been no indication AT ALL of mike returning wills feeling and a script that however way you interpret it isn’t proof because the millions of people who need to know these indications aren’t gonna read the script, if they were to want to drop hints at this “developing relationship” they need to make it clear for everyone not 1% of the audience who read the scripts. Moreover, people seem to interpret mikes insufferable (I don’t personally find him insufferable but I can see how other maybe do) character traits on him being secretly closeted which I know for a fact is not the case and NOT because I think it’s impossible for mike to be gay and there can only be one gay character in the whole show but because and talking from a writing stand point it would be too late in the show to establish it (look at how much it took them to establish will). What’s so annoying to me and what I see people putting as *proof* is whenever anyone talks about wills sexuality they always take it as confirmation to mike and wills relationship and it’s what started the *queer baiting* nonsense. Like wills SEXUALITY is established not mike and wills relationship, I swear I’ve seen people use Noahs interview from when he confirmed his sexuality and being in love with mike as proof for byler and it’s like ??? This is actually disrespectful to will, that his own sexuality and him coming to terms with it is always lumped with a non existent relationship (smh) And the main reason why they won’t happen is because they’ve always and I mean always said that Mike and eleven is their main couple they want them to be Superman and lois lane or iron man and pepper potts, leia and Han it is very clear that they want them to be like that iconic sci-fi couple that can be remembered till the show ends and years to come (whether they successfully make an iconic relationship it’s not the point but I’m talking about their intention). Anyways that’s my rant, I’m just so annoyed that people think that people who want eleven and mike to stay together are just “Milevens” like I’m not a shipper and I don’t care I’m just a fan of the show but my social media has been full of byler content and I’m just confused like there’s a difference between interpretation and just blatant delusion. Byeeee thanks for listening xoxo

Yeah I mean all of this discourse very much exists only inside the fandom bubble, I think that’s the most important thing to remember. No matter what our opinions are, we’re all weirdos that spend a lot more time than the average Joe talking about stranger things. That’s the first thing to remember lol.

Genuinely I do not think anyone outside the fandom really saw what went down in season 4 and thought mike has feelings for will. The “mike fighting homosexuality” theory very much exists only in the fandom space… nobody outside of tumblr/tik tok saw will crying in 4x08 and mike not even noticing and thought “damn mike is in love with will but just can’t acknowledge it.” I think a good portion of the GA was annoyed with mike bc they’re protective of will and thought he was a bad friend (and imo they’re wrong lmao but that’s a diff issue) but to the millions of ppl watching this show, the issue of “will mike and will get together?” is nonexistent.

Truly everyone is entitled to their opinion, I think that needs to be reiterated. There’s nothing weird or wrong about shipping Mike and Will. But I do get that it has gotten a little out of hand, post vol 2 especially, so I get the need to vent. Like some people have been disrespectful and frankly a little wackadoodle in the way they’re treating others. So long as everyone stays in their lane and nobody annoys me with their opinions (e.g. reblogging my gifsets with ur paragraphs long b*ler analysis in the tags), I’m cool.