#Malus...what the fuck Malus

[margridarnauds]

Me during my first run of BG3: I wish we knew more about the Thorm family! What's their whole deal? Were they fucked up before or after they became undead? What were they doing there?

Me after my second run of BG3, when I took the time to go into the hidden rooms/morgue:

[star-studded-zweilous]

oooo the urge to write some weird little fic for my tav and malus thorm

Concept rn is my tav having the world's weirdest doctors appointment

"Hey doctor, you did my top surgery for me years ago, remember? Oh cool. No I don't need more surgery, but funny story, I've got this weird worm stuck in my skull can you take a look?"

"Of fucking course my good sir, please, step right this way into my not at all dangerous laboratory/office~"

[ignatiusteto]

s. so. malus thorm huh. girl. girl dinner.......... 😥

[maluron]

ohgods i hate the way my brain works sometime

1) get hooked to Arcane 2) have Viktor take over as my new blorbo 3) go splurge-read JayVik fanfiction 4) have the stupid stupid French version of the theme song from Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors stuck as a permanent earworm for days and days aaaAAAAaaah please make it stop

[moonstoneraven]

castlevania brain babies

[nenasspot]

WHAT is going on in oneus land??????

[constellationcrowned]

((I put on one of my muse/ship playlists (which share a lot of songs but I digress,) so I can have positive brainrot going forgetting that one of these songs makes me bark like a rabid animal.))

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

GA: My Daughter Wont Stop Biting Things What Should Be Her Punishment 

GC: L1F3 W1THOUT POSS1B1L1TY OF P4ROL3 

EB: sequence detected! AGTTTTGTGATTTTTA 

EB: closest match is malus hybrids cultivar, or the crabapple! 

GA: What The Fuck

[animentality]

Can I just bitch about Baldur's Gate 3 for a second-

JK, I'm not fucking asking.

So Ketheric Thorm...got an entire fucking act basically DEDICATED TO HIM.

The Shadow Cursed Lands suck because of him. Everything in that zone is fucked because of his nonsense. Every enemy you fight is either related to the shadows or the Absolute plot, which, as far as you know at that point, is tied directly back to him, and him alone.

And every fucking person you meet, rounds him out in some way.

Thisobald, Gerringothe, Malus, these are all unique looking and fun bosses. And they all round out Ketheric Thorm, showing us his fucked up family, and how terrible their impact has been.

Balthazar, Z'rell, even Aylin and Isobel- all thematically and narratively tied to our Shar/Myrkul worshipping bitch.

Even Halsin and Thaniel, Minthara and Shadowheart...all of them have ties to Ketheric.

And that's great and all. That's probably why I, unlike many others, actually enjoy Act 2 a fair bit.

But then. We get to the dreaded Act 3.

Which is a bloated, disorganized, incoherent mess.

But worse than that is... Gortash and Orin are our next big bads, yeah? And they have a kind of fun intro, that makes you think ooh, the next big bads...

And then.

And then what happens?

You can kill Gortash immediately, pretty much at the beginning of Act 3. No build up. You can just do that. Sure, you can do the Steel Watch or the Ironhand Throne quests...but tell me.

Could you just go up to Ketheric Thorm and kill him at Moonrise? The answer is no. Even if you skip a lot of content, you still have to go through a million other tasks before you can face him, AND the big boss battle at the end is entirely him and Myrkul. It's EARNED.

But Gortash? Well, fuck, he's fucking dead before you can even face the final big boss.

And Orin? Sure, you have to collect a bag of hands to get into the Temple...but so what? That's maybe two or three quests, but you can circumvent them. Besides, as soon as you kill her, she vanishes from the narrative and doesn't matter. She's a somewhat easy boss battle, but the actual build up isn't intricately tied into the narrative of Act 3...because there is no inherent narrative to Ac 3.

Act 2 was about an insane man's descent into villainy after losing the people he loved most.

It was tragic, but at least thematically consistent.

The fuck is happening in Act 3?

Gortash is committing war crimes because he's tyrannical, and Orin is murdering indiscriminately and just for funsies.

at least Ketheric's entire thing is about defying the gods, using them for his own gains, and similarly, being used by them.

But Orin? She has one sympathetic scene, and then she dies immediately after.

Gortash you can just kill and then he doesn't matter, or you can side with him, and then he just dies, and doesn't matter.

It's utterly baffling and mildly infuriating.

I know Act 3 was hit with the cut content rush and all, but I feel like you could've spent your time actually bothering to build them up the way you built up Ketheric. You could've given us political quests or world building quests with Gortash, especially given how manipulative he is, or given us more madness and shadows and underground labyrinths and spooky monsters with fucking Orin.

Instead of garbage quests like the Wavemother, Mystic Carrion, Stop the Presses, and Lady Jannath's Torture House, you could've given Karlach a quest related to fixing her heart, which would've tied into Gortash's plots, or given Gale more to do than simply go to Sorcerous Sundries, or tied Cazador to some kind of patriars plot, or had Wyll's father do more than be kidnapped and then later saved.

You could've given Halsin literally any fucking quest, instead of bringing in Jaheira or Minsc. But most importantly.

I just don't get it. Gortash runs Baldur's Gate. You could've easily tied him to a lot more quests, and made him far more threatening or hard to take down. You could've also made Orin feel like an actual threat, and not just a mild nuisance.

It's just kind of...it irks me.

Not just as a Gortash stan, but as a writer, because it's so odd, to have 3 perfectly decent villains...and only flesh out one.

The other two might as well be optional mini bosses.

[aevallare]

hey guys i have a question that is really important. why The Fuck does halsin not have proficiency in medicine. can someone please explain to me why this Renowned Healer does not have the proficiency. is he the good-aligned malus thorm. hellooooooooo what

[mightymizora]

What's your take on Ketheric's evilness? When I rank my Chosen on the shitty people ladder, I put Ketheric at the top.

Man I joke a lot about how I could fix Ketheric but yeah he's pretty terrible. I don't know if he quite beats Gortash for me for scale though. The wrap sheet for Gort is truly so heinous.

(Also worth noting that when I say "Orin didn't do anything wrong" I obviously don't mean that but I DO mean that I have a lot of sympathy for Orin because she beyond any of the others had basically no chance to turn out differently. She was conditioned to the point of actual madness. But anyway this isn't about Orin.)

The thing that gets me about Ketheric is the fact he weighs up what he does constantly and still does it. And unlike Gortash and Orin, it's not like he came from horror. He was a normal guy with a wife and kids (side note I still don't understand the Thorm family. I landed on Malus being his uncle, Gerringothe being a sister, and Thisobald being a bastard child born after Melodia died.) But grief just kept pushing him down and further into abject nihilism. I think that's where my sympathy with him does come in.

Ketheric just has this apathy to anything that isn't Isobel. He just put all the love and light of his whole world onto one person and that's so unhealthy and fucked up! I think that made her a target for Shar, who is always looking for ways to fell important Selunites. He thought it was Aylin's attention (and it might have been, partly) but I think Shar saw the opportunity in his obsession more than in the risk of their relationship. Even if it hadn't been though, how can one woman shoulder that much unhealthy devotion? It's not good parenting, it's not healthy, it's not right. But when he lost his wife, his only joy became her, and when he lost her he would do anything to assuage that grief. I think when you've experienced similar loss, he does become quite sympathetic there.

I think I understand why people follow Shar, from that reasoning. Shar isn't just evil, she is a nothing, she is emptiness, and when you are in the deepest throws of grief there is nothing you long for more than those tiny moments, for example when you first wake before your mind recalls, where you feel nothing.

It just feels like he carved away his humanity to starve off grief as much as he could like a man literally cutting off his own flesh to feed a rabid dog. He let EVERYTHING become a victim of his grief. And then he finally meets somebody who says to him hey, you don't have to do this, where EVERYBODY else has been enabling him for their own designs. He's the great general that Shar wants to use, that the Myrkulites want to use, that Gortash and The Dark Urge want to use and he is completely malleable to those needs. Which is a chilling kind of evil, really. He lets evil seep into him like a poison until it is too late.

[stormbreaker101]

I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. PHARAOH RAMA-KROK IS A BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER. HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING NIGHTMARE (CHALLENGE MODE) RUN. THAT'S RIGHT. HE TOOK HIS KROKOTILLIAN FUCKING ANKH OUT AND HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING RUN AND HE SAID HIS ANKH WAS "THIS BIG" AND THAT HE "WILL RISE AGAIN AND AGAIN." AND I SAID THAT'S DISGUSTING. SO I'M MAKING A CALLOUT POST ON MY TUMBLR DOT COM. PHARAOH RAMA-KROK, YOU'VE GOT A SMALL ANKH. IT'S THE SIZE OF THIS PIERCE/CLEANSE WARD/CLEANSE CHARM/ENFEEBLE/TRIAGE/CONTAGION EXCEPT WAY SMALLER. AND GUESS WHAT. HERE'S WHAT MY 'ANKH' LOOKS LIKE.

[STORMOWL.MP4]

THAT'S RIGHT BAYBEE. ALL DAMAGE. NO HANGING EFFECTS. NO SCALES. LOOK AT IT IT LOOKS LIKE AN EPIC FUCKING BIRD. HE FUCKED MY RUN SO GUESS WHAT? I'M GONNA FUCK THE NIGHTMARE REALM. THAT'S RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET. MY SUPER LASER OWL PISS!

EXCEPT I'M NOT JUST GONNA PISS ON RAMA-KROK. I'M GONNA GO HIGHER. I'M PISSING ON THE MALUS!

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, FREDDIE KROAKER!? I PISSED ON THE MALUS, YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DRRRRROPRRLLETS HIT THE FUCKING NIGHTMARE REALM. NOW GET OUT OF MY FUCKING SIGHT, BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.

[frodhoebagginit]

Just Like Before. Pt. 1 {Rhea Ripley x Fem!Bloodline!Reader}

(this is the first fic I've written in a while so...sorry if it sucks. let me know if you want a part 2)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

All the attention was on the two women in the center of the ring. The Tribal Chief had called Paul to tell him he wanted The Judgment Day to help with The Bloodline’s, “Sami Zayn Problem.” Y/n was very annoyed by The Tribal Chiefs request, he knew about her and Rhea's past, why would he think it'd be a good idea for them to work together?

Rhea was staring y/n down, y/n tried her best to keep her eyes on Paul, who was sharing The Tribal Chief's words with the people in the arena. Rhea’s eyes burned her skin, she could feel it all over her body, just as they had before. Paul notices Rheas brutal eyes on y/n,

“Solo switch with y/n.” Paul asks, Solo moves to the other side of y/n. Y/n now standing in front of Dominik instead of Rhea. A moment passes before Rhea moves past Dominik and is once again standing in front of y/n. Y/n finally looks into Rhea's eyes, annoyed. Paul stares at the world women's champion intensely.

“Is everything alright?” Paul asks, annoyed. Rhea keeps her eyes on y/n as she moves closer to the mic,

“For now.” Rhea responds. Y/n scoffs and rolls her eyes at Rhea's remark. Paul accepts Rhea's answer and continues his promo. When Paul finishes The Bloodline leaves the ring and returns backstage. Y/n is pissed now and stays silent, the whole way back to her locker room. Y/n throws herself on to her couch. Minutes go by and suddenly a knock at the door disrupts the silence. Y/n groans and gets up unenthusiastically, when she opens the door she is met with the familiar burning eyes of Rhea Ripley. She tries to slam the door shut before Rhea can come in, but Rhea stops the door with her boot, kicking the door further open before stepping into the room, dominance radiating off her. Rhea closes the door behind her and locks it with a smirk on her face. 

“What the hell do you want Rhea?” Y/n demands. Rhea circles around y/n like a shark in water, saying nothing. Y/n’s eyes follow her form, her body betrays her as she feels her face getting hot. The sudden redness of y/n’s face doesn't go unnoticed by Rhea. Rhea stops walking and stands close to Y/n’s face. 

“It seems we are stuck with each other just like before.” Rhea says with malus. Y/n rolls her eyes at the woman in front of her. This seems to tick Rhea off, Rhea pushes y/n against the wall barricading her with her body. Her forearms rest on either side of y/n face and her knees lock y/n’s legs in place. Rhea moves her face even closer to y/n

S their lips barely touch. Rhea’s smirk appears once more,

“I'm sure we can make this temporary alliance enjoyable, I know how much it was before, for you” Rhea stares y/n down intensely. Y/n stares at Rhea speechless, her body radiates heat and her stomach forms knots, just as it had before. Y/n snaps out of Rheas trance ad pushes her away,

“Fuck off Rhea.” Rhea’s smirk disappears, and she Scoffs.

“Oh please, you're so pathetic, don't think I don’t know how badly you still want me.” Y/n shakes her head at Rheas words. All y/n wants is for Rhea to leave her alone, she's caused enough stress in her life.

“You and I don’t need to work together, Roman just needs Damian, Dominik, and Finn. So just leave me alone.” Rhea’s smirk returns 

“Fine, but don’t try to lie to me and say you don’t want me. You know Mami always wins” Rhea exits the room leaving y/n to deal with the mess she has started.

[writedreamlie]

Finish up the House of Healing, talk to the party to see what they have to say.

Shadowheart: Shar's blessings upon you.

Me, gesturing to Malus's mangled body: NO FUCKING THANK YOU!!

[thedomesticanthropologist]

Spoilers for Act 2

Convincing Yurgir to kill himself makes sense, he stabs himself. Clear reasons, logical, sensible.

Malus Thorm? You manipulate his twisted mind and he thinks it's logical to let the girls practice on him, this also tracks, less sensible but within the realm of his mind it works, and the girls use weapons to shred him. Gucci

Thisobald is also one that makes sense. He was gonna probably explode without you there tbh, judging by his drinking habits man was a balloon ready to go. Convincing him to keep drinking until he water balloon pops all over the place makes sense. His death makes sense.

But the Toll House. I'm stuck on that one. Gerringothe wants gold. You convince them in various ways - through a few different options (persuasion, deception, intimidation) that gold... isn't... coming?

Like I dont really get it, how does Gerringothe die exactly? My cleric said something along the lines of the job not being necessary anymore, and the Toll keeper just fell to the ground and died.

I just- I dont- where's the- how-

What's your perception on this? The shadow curse warped them into a gold hungry gold monster yes, but... I don't see how the conversation leads to a death or what exactly killed them. The idea that there wouldn't be more gold eventually? Because they know the entire toll house is full of it, in crates and on the floor and in locked rooms and such, so even if it was an eating gold thing the could just have a nibble of what they've got.

Idk I missed something. Why does gerringothe just go "fuck it I'm out" when the PC chats with them????

[sparkysxi]

Fun things I enjoyed about the Fontaine Archon Quest(s):

Spoilers below. Obviously

Bro Furina/Focalors is the funniest archon yet. I’m sorry Venti she’s taken your throne

I like that they had Childe talk about his abyss experience out loud, so now even people who do not have Childe and don’t know his story somehow at this point know what’s fucking wrong with him

I’d like to state that I am a Childe main and stan so all criticism of him is done lovingly

I understand that Neuvillette is literally not human (likely the Hydro Vishap Soverign?) but he is sooooo autistic coded hehe *twirls hair around fingers*

Either way I am pleased with his character

I was really worried I was going to find a lot of the characters annoying, but I was pleasantly surprised. Lyney is actually pretty good, and Navia wasn’t annoying at all (she was the one I was most worried about). Furina is annoying, but she’s more intentionally written to be so I don’t mind. I liked how her voice actress gave her a very specific intonation pattern!

shout out to Malus for carrying Act II

Paimon’s silly detective glasses. that is all

This quest was probably the same level of darkness we’ve come to expect? Kinda weird in the specific artstyle of the game-I would expect a lot grittier style art wise to match with the story, but Genshin is gacha first and foremost. gotta be pretty

And by darkness I mean. Archon ripping away hopes and dreams from her people. People locking up their Archon to keep her from stopping them harvesting dreams to make a new Archon. Whatever the fuck is going on in the Traveler/Dainsleif quest line. I think murder and serial murder is kinda tame in comparison?

Still liked the court scenes though.

The npcs were fucking annoying. Intentionally, clearly, but if I was really the Traveler I would’ve started yelling about how the peanut gallery doesn’t talk in court proceedings.

The Melusines are adorable.

The end of Marcel/Vacher’s case was *chefs kiss* beautiful. I’m glad those girls got their justice.

Also, I looked up “Vacher” at the beginning of the quest line cause I was like “who/what the fuck is a Vacher”. Genshin has pretty specific naming rules so

Vacher was a prolific French Serial Killer. it was foreshadowing.

I am incredibly intrigued by the Oratrice. what is goin ON with that thing.

Glad Childe got to go apeshit. He deserves it. But oh sweetie I need you to go to therapy

I get why he won’t, he’s not about to talk to Il Dottore of all people about his emotional problems.

The last scene in Act II was beautiful.

The Court of Fontaine is a fun city, I love the design and the aquabus is a great way to get around. I’m a slut for art deco

also MULTI LAYERED MAP