yknow what... Here's a list of Hatchetfield Rarepairs that I think are neat!
Some l've thought up, some may already exist.. Either way I think about them constantly, and I need to share my brainrot.
23oz Chai - Paul 23 / Ted Spankoffski
- workplace crush but, plot twist, one of them is a clone
- Ted confesses, and Paul 23, even though he's unsure if the real Paul would go along with it, accepts anyway.
- everyone in the office reacts to it in shock, and they are convinced it is an elaborate prank. (Its not)
Cat Sweater - Charlotte / Melissa (Charlissa)
- Melissa supports Charlotte through her rocky marriage. Sapphic feelings ensue!
- They bond over their love of cats!
- Crazy cat lady and her sopping wet cat gf!
Dirty Boy - Mark Chasity / Boy Jerry
- Two repressed religious men grappling with internalized homophobia!
- A lot of gay denial and religious guilt in this one!
- Also, Jerry's nature rubs off on Mark a little. Maybe they go a little off the walls together!
Donnapiro - Donna Daggit/ Detective Shapiro
- They start out disliking each other, Shapiro not liking how Hatchetfield News reports crime and Donna despising Shapiro for getting in the way of their journalism
- Slowly, their competition becomes incredibly homoerotic.
- Enemies to lovers, reporter x detective yuri. Solving crimes and being sapphic!
Fast But Pricey - Barry Swift / Frank Pricely (Priceswift)
- I have little justification for this one but.. ldk, I think they would be fun together.
- Frank is just really lonely, let him have a gay lover.
- Their relationships moves fast. (Barry is in a hurry! And Frank is so alone he doesn't mind.)
Latte Bottay - Zoey Chambers / Emmdroid (Zoemdroid)
- They bond over a dislike of the real Emma!
- Zoey is surprisingly chill with the robot thing.
- This also works pretty well with 23ozChai. Paul 23 gets his work crush, Emmdroid gets her work crush, its a win win! bonus wlw mlm solidarity!
Nibblinda - Nibbly / Linda
- Linda treats Nibbly to fine meats and sweets. In return, Nibbly eats her dad and protects her. Overall, a pretty sweet deal!
- Perhaps, they get a little blood on their hands.
- Linda chews people out (figuratively), and Nibbly bites them (literally)
Plastic Cars - Gerald Monroe / Tom Houston
- Hear me out.. Divorced dads realize they are gay... for each other.
- Tim gets a new dad, instead of a new mom.
- Again, I must stress.. middle aged men in love!
Sheiloway - Sheila Young / Miss Holloway
- This is ooc as fuck but the enemies to lovers calls to me.
- They both get someone to confide to about the struggles of lord shenanigans and near immortality
- wlw witches!
Showstoppers - Henry Hidgens / Pokey
- Theater nerds who will murder at the drop of a hat.
- I mean, Pokey did include Show Stopping Number in Inevitable, so that's a little gay.
- They are both just.. really gay tbh.
Spoiled Cat - Linda Monroe / Charlotte Sweetly (Charlinda)
- I think pairing a mean rich lady with a sweet, but this close to losing it, lady is very fun.
- Tbh, I just think the day Charlotte dates a woman is the day her entire world changes.
- Also, I think Charlotte should be allowed to be a little mean for once. Linda would help her be more assertive.
Tentacle Bastard - Wiggly / Ted Spankoffski
- Wiggly steals his brother's toy, and gets more than he bargained for!
- Wiggly tries to scare Ted with his big scary octopus form. It does not have the intended effect!
- Wiggly keeps trying to terrify Ted, but jokes on him Ted is into that, and that flusters him. However, Ted's unabashed bastard confidence has an unexpected side effect: Wiggly catches feelings
Webworship - Webby / Karen Chasity
- Karen finds a new god(dess) to "worship"!
- Unsatisfied wife summons a goddess for some company, and the goddess doesn't mind!
- A little bit of religious guilt in this one, as Karen goes against her beliefs by beginning to "worship" a new god, but its still mostly wholesome!
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I may or may not have just spent 10 minutes figuring out hair colors for Mariah's characters in Hatchetfield.
Now I should note that I split Greenpeace girl into two different people: Valerie and Harmony.
Harmony Jones is the ORIGINAL Greenpeace girl (her name was confirmed during the Halloween Livestream, but it could've been confirmed earlier?). I originally named Greenpeace girl "Valerie Sampson", as her name hadn't been confirmed yet when I named her. And of course, I decided to separate Harmony from Valerie and make them two different characters, as I really love the personality and story I gave Valerie 😭 BUT ANYWAYS.
Valerie - Chestnut brown with a slight copper tint to her hair
Zoey - Caramel brown with some blonde highlights
Stephanie - Ash brown with a lighter fade
Alice - Coffee brown with strawberry blond streaks at the front of her face (she tried bleaching her hair with Deb's help, but chickened out in fear of upsetting Bill. Bill loved it though (he was a little confused but whatever makes his daughter happy lol))
Harmony - Honey blonde hair
Melissa - Chestnut brown hair
Doug - Coffee brown hair
These are the references I used :3
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leave all this behind
Melissa defuses office tension, and watches the Cats musical.
chapter two of my alice + ted + melissa + ruth focused theatre fic has been posted! go check it out!
read from the beginning here | part two of hey ted, hey melissa!
summary:
In a last-ditch attempt to save the Starlight Theater from shutting down, Alice Woodward puts on her new musical, The Trail to Oregon, with the help of Professor Hidgens. Now she's juggling rehearsals on top of her relationship with Deb, her struggles with her dad, and a cast that has plenty of their own problems...
Ted Spankoffski is attempting to get back into theatre, manage his feelings for Charlotte Sweetly, and not strangle the oddly-friendly Sam in the process. Meanwhile, Zach and Zoey Chambers are out for blood, and Melissa is trying to prevent her younger siblings from killing each other—or getting caught in the crossfire. And Ruth Fleming is hoping to conquer her anxiety and finally fulfill her dream of performing onstage.
Bill just wants his daughter back.
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