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goldsbitch · 8 months

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I gave so many signs

summary: First unrequited love is not the one to ever leave your mind. Y/N looks back at her missed connection with Charles Leclerc from the time they were just teenagers and regrets having him slip away.

song fic (disclaimer: rights belong to the respectable owners)

exile - Taylor Swift Lie to me - 5 Seconds of Summer (feat. Julia Michaels) Worst of you - Maisie Peters

warning: Present time, the past

Coming back home to Monaco always brought a sour smile to her face. She loved growing up in this strange small town where everyone knew each other and celebrities came to show off and then went back to wherever, to tell stories of Monte Carlo.

They say that you get to experience three very different real loves in your lifetime - and only if you're lucky, it would be with the same person. Her first love was Charles Leclerc.

I saw you lookin' brand new overnight I caught you lookin' too, but you didn't look twice

Visiting family was the reason why she always came back, but going out with the few girls from high school who stayed there was a treat she dared not to miss. There is just something about hanging out with those people who helped one buy the first eyeshadow and with whom she pregamed at one of their step dad's dermatology office before going on trying to get into any club that would allow minors in. So there she was once again, at the old time spot, having a harder time to hold her alcohol since she'd passed the magic non hangover years. And to her luck, he walked in only a bare half an hour later than her.

Whenever she saw him, even after those years, it was like everyone else had dissapeared from the room. He seemed to age like wine.

It's 3 AM and the moonlight's testing me I know that you've been holding on to someone else And now I can't sleep

"Come here to me," she teased, moving closer to him. He tried to stop her and playfully pushed himself the furthest away possible the couch would allow. "Charlie, let me see!" she insisted and sat on top of him. She had to act quickly, there would be no way for her to keep the upper hand. He was just turning eighteen soon and the time in gym was starting to bring back results. "I do not have any hairline, Y/N," he gasped, annoyed. His tone changed. Back then she interpreted it as just him being done with her shit. Looking at it now, there probably was a different reason why he became more stiff. She sat on him, going through his hair and taking few photos, blissfully unaware. "I'll show this to you in a few years and we'll see! Ha!" Charles eyes were shooting arrows in her direction. She looked back at him, curious and not grasping the moment in the same way as he did. "What?" she asked simply. "Nothing..."

I can see you standing, honey With his arms around your body Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all

She laughed a bit at that memory as she sipped her drink and tried her best to avoid keeping looking back at him as he sat with his current friends and an absolute gorgeous girl laughing at his joke. She knew who she was. Sometimes she peaked at his socials and then blocked him again right away. She certainly knew he had her blocked.

They went to different schools and Charles had his racing activities anyway. So they'd spent a lot of time texting. A lot.

It was just one of the horrifically long school days where she doubted the point of her existence. Life had to be more than sitting in a pointless computer science class. She wanted to be a big lawyer girl boss one day, so why would she ever care about programming. There she was, staring at the assignment from the teacher who was stuck in 20th century anyway, having little to no clue what to do. As she'd usually do, she texted Charles. Bombed him with twenty texts demanding attention, before he finally responded. "OMG i thought someone had died" "i am dying charles" "no your not" "*you're" "i can go back to my race simulator if you keep being a little shit" "nooo, please dont go. you're my only hope. sorry, your. i get it, you got out of the school too early." "that's it, i'm gone" "noo, please stay, I'll be nice and say nice things about you" "i'm staying, go on" "you are absolutely gorgeous" "yes, agree. more" "you are soo funny, amazing, future heart breaker and your passion for racing is so inspiring" "i like this. more"

Second, third, and hundredth chances Balancin' on breaking branches Those eyes add insult to injury

They were inseparable, yet nobody knew. Always meeting alone, because they did not need anyone and their social circles didn't really meet together. Whenever he was back in town, the two of them would hit up their favorite café or hang out at his house and then go for a walk. The two of them walked around Monte Carlo as if they were suppose to be the cartographers creating the first map of that area ever. Those were the good old days that came to end very unexpectedly.

We always walked a very thin line You didn't even hear me out (Didn't even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

His hands were shaking when he sent the email. But he just could not take it anymore. He was over the moon in love with her and didn't know how to contain it.

"there is no easy way to say this. i love you. sorry. i'm stupid and i know we're just friends. but i basically live only for racing and seeing you. i'm terrified of seeing you with someone else. if there is at least a cell in your body that feels the same, please let's meet up and talk about it. if not, do not reply and i will never mention this again and deal with it. i love you."

She was seventeen when she got his message out of the blue. A scared little girl who was petrified of feelings and anything relationship related. So she never replied to his email.

All this time I never learned to read your mind I couldn't turn things around (I couldn't turn things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (You never gave a warning sign)

Charles had a very little hope that she'd feel the same - why would she, such an amazing person, kind, fun and totally glorified in his eyes, so he could not even imagine him being worthy of her. But what if? What if he was enough? With every day when she did not respond to his email, his heart sank lower. Still, the pain of the first rejection is a hard one to take, because it's usually from a scared unexperienced heart to another and the clumsiness causes great deal of accidental collateral damage one remembers until the end of their life.

You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defending now? You were my town, now I'm in exile, seein' you out

She texted him from school few days after that - a normal text, as if nothing happened. Both of them were too chicken to address the situation openly. So he opted for buring his feeling and she for playing like she had no idea. Deep down, she always knew, even before he emailed her. They texted, continued to meet up. But it was never the same again.

Flashing back to New York City I was done, but you undid me Classic me to run when it feels right

It was hard to get closure for her. After all that had happened and the mess the two made for each other was a hard lesson she remembered vividly. She glanced at your first love again - and finally she met his look, after almost two years of managing to missing each other while they were both back in Monaco. She'd daydreamed about bumping into him, the two chatting and smiling again. The world stopped again for few moments. He shot her an unsure quick half smile that said it all. She knew him too well for that.

And now I wish we never met 'Cause you're too hard to forget While I'm cleaning up your mess I know he's taking off your dress

It was her prom night and she could not be more excited. All her friends were here, family, even Charles managed to get in town to watch her dance and drink all night. She had the night of her life, perfect end to end this chapter of life. The excitement her eyes held was contagious. She spent the first half of her evening with the family and Charles, sharing few dances and laughs. If felt like the good old days. But one shot of tequila led to another and there she was, drunk as pirate and unhinged like a teenage girl. Charles did his best to keep her parents at bay, keep them occupied while he got one of his friends to take care of her. He was worried she might do something stupid, like walk up to the stage and fall down breaking all of her bones. Finally, her parents decided to leave without having to saying goodbye to her after Charles spent a good half an hour convincing them she was just in the back stage and that he'd get her home safe. When they were gone, he began to search for her, only to finally find her sitting on the stairs, making out with the friend he assigned to keep an eye on her.

So take me to every party and just talk to your friends Why don't you let me down, I'll let you do it again Go on and walk all over me, just don't walk away Give me the worst of you 'Cause I want you anyway

It was like being cut open alive and having people watch. There was nothing even remotely graceful about her actions, she was literally sitting on the floor having a battle of tongues with another drunk teenager while people had to walk pass her. It was embarrassing. Charles didn't know what to do. He wanted to run away and never come back, but he couldn't leave her there alone. He couldn't bring himself to stop the two of his friends, because he was just too sad and heartbroken to do so. He just stayed nearby and kept an eye on them. It was one of the longest nights in his life.

She couldn't remember the second half of her prom night and Charles would never speak of it, even though she begged him many times. He always became stiff and started to leave the room. She only kept asking, because it marked one of the biggest shifts in their friendships. He became cold, unresponsive and after few weeks, he stopped communicating completely.

You were my town, now I'm in exile, seein' you out I think I've seen this film before

Funny how people's faces change with years, but the eyes stay the same. The eyes and the look. Charles looked at her the second time this evening. It was like staring back at the eighteen year old boy who was drowning in his feeling.

It was one of her last nights in Monaco before leaving for university. Finally, her dreams were coming true. She was more than ready to get our to show the world she was a force to be reckoned with. She sent Charles countless messages before her final departure, at that moment, she was sure she'll never ever get back to Monaco and wanted to at least understand why he became distant. One evening, he finally agreed to meet up and talk. She was over the moon. Knowing that she could always turn Charles over, she left feeling confident - he was one the very few people she was sure shared the same soul as her. It was as if they'd never stopped talking. Jokes flying everywhere, the two of them strolling around, having no idea this would be the last time (and maybe, that was better for her at the time). There was so much to share, the two kept talking over each other for hours. Charles was happy when she finally stopped to take a breath for a moment. She looked him in the eye and saw a look she'd seen countless of times on his face. There was a shift in her mind and out of nowhere, she was kissing the boy she'd been unknowingly in love for years. She'd realize that she loved him only once she started dating a random guy from her college, expecting the same feeling Charles gave her. But it never came. Had she known, she'd have stayed with him. He tried to convince her to start dating him. Almost begged her to try it with him long distance. But there was a whole world for you to discover, places to be and versions of her that needed discovering. She had kissed only once. But it was a kiss of a lifetime. He blocked her on all socials after she rejected him again.

I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (You never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) So many signs, so many signs You didn't even see the signs

The girls were laughing at some joke she missed while digging in her memory for traces of her first love. Charles Leclerc. He was sitting few tables away from her. This time, her heart sank as he kissed his girlfriend on the cheek as they walked away from the bar. She wanted to run to him, to talk to him again after all those years. To tell him the same thing he once emailed her. To explain that she was just too young to notice she had the love of her life right next to you. But she knew all too well what his answer would be. And just like he had back then, she never wanted to hear it out loud.

And I know that you don't, but if I ask you if you love me I hope you lie, lie, lie, lie, lie to me

part 2

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valyrfia · 2 months

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just realised, ferrari probably calculated championship odds in 2022 too. charles probably knows how closely he lost it. now all i can think of is ferrari strategists running insane monte-carlo simulations just grasping at the straws.

mattia binotto will never see sucess in f1 i can see it

Bold of you to assume a Ferrari strategist even knows what a Monte Carlo simulation is at this point….they seem like the type of team to come up with some great championship predictor equation and calling it a day rather than doing a numerical analysis….

#asks #anon #f1 simulations #charles leclerc

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petit-papillion · 1 year

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A Week in the Life of Charles Leclerc

MONDAY: article in Italian takes nasty stab at him, including bringing up his father, leading to hundreds online flocking to his defense

TUESDAY: the robbers who stole his watch last year were captured. social media buzzing with the released surveillance video. Charles being compared to Batman.

WEDNESDAY: Joris posts pictures of Charles recording his music. Fans demand to know when the album is coming out.

THURSDAY: Charles sets hearts aflutter everywhere first by posting swoonworthy APM photos, then sending heartfelt video message to a terminally ill Ferrari fan

FRIDAY: Fred takes the spotlight for one day, mentioning Charles will be in Maranello after Easter on simulator duty

SATURDAY: Charles attends Monte-Carlo Masters and draws more attention from fans than some tournament tennis players

SUNDAY: Charles is forced to write a post on Instagram pleading with his fans to stop hanging out outside his apartment and ringing his doorbell for pictures/autographs. Happy Easter!

#what a week #charles leclerc

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maeamian · 11 months

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When I was a young excited physics student I went down to my advisor and asked for a job in a lab. Those of you who are in the sciences may recognize this as exceedingly common, most schools with science departments will hire undergrads for their labs both to give the undergrads experience and to have someone comparatively cheap to do the least skilled labor in those labs.

For me, the lab I was sent to was one doing cool photonics projects and I was assigned to a guy who was doing the theoretical modeling for them and I got put on a side project for them to develop a method to double check their results using Monte Carlo simulations.

Put bluntly, I toiled away in the little cubicle they had me in for about half a year before I transferred to a different school without ever having produced anything of any particular value other than a Monte Carlo simulation whose temperature readings were not taking into account the existence of a heat sink and therefore got overwhelmed by thermal photons in a completely inaccurate and unhelpful way.

Ultimately, many tasks, farmed out like this in a speculative way to undergrads, fail, certainly it's not exceptional that mine did and I learned a lot about the process in the process, so it wasn't wasted time for me, but it produced absolutely nothing the lab could use to further its results.

This is where it turns from a little anecdote about my work history into a morality tale, because what I have thus far deliberately failed to tell you is that the lab I was assigned to is a provider of radar services to the US Military. Had I produced anything of any value whatsoever the work I did would have been used by the US military to help with its capacity to deliver bombs. This is, unfortunately, as those of you who are in the sciences may recognize, also exceedingly common. Luckily, and through no foresight or moral thinking of my own, simply the inexperience of youth, I produced nothing of value but view the path they tried to set me down as a grim warning of what might have been.

I'm not asking for forgiveness, the harm I might have done was not done by me, although I'm also sure was done without my help. They didn't need it to be me they just needed someone with basic calculus knowledge who wouldn't think too hard about the connection between the work and the world, and they were happy enough that particular warm body was me.

So this is my plea, if you're young and getting involved in the sciences because you're passionate about knowledge and understanding our place in the universe. When you go to get that job in that lab that's such a good stepping stone to the next thing you want to do, take a second and look into where that lab's funding is coming from. If it turns out it's the military, maybe then take another second and really deeply consider what kind of thing your work can be used to do and if you would like some of the most bloodthirsty people on the planet to be able to do that thing because of your help.

I got lucky that I didn't help, but I'm hoping that with this warning you might be able to not help on purpose which is a greater moral good than what I managed.

#IDK been thinking about this a lot recently for obvious reasons #I should've known better at the time too to be clear I was just blinded by excitement #If I'd stayed at that school and that lab and got to the level where I could contribute #They would have happily sent me to the Raytheon office down the street #Where I would've been well paid as my soul chipped away at itself #And I will never not resent the structure of the system that had that future in mind for me #I feel extra foolish for having nearly fallen for it considering my grandfather's history as a member of the Union of Concerned Scientists #Which is in part because he didn't talk much about that with us grandkids in large part because we weren't old enough early enough #There's a lot I wish he could've talked to me about now that I'm old enough to really understand it #But back to the point tell your advisor 'I'm not comfortable working in a military lab do you have any other options'#That's what I wish I'd said #Meanwhile my dad (the legend) claims to have cost the military millions of hours of productivity and credibly so

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materialsscienceandengineering · 1 year

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Physicists discover 'stacked pancakes of liquid magnetism'

Physicists have discovered "stacked pancakes of liquid magnetism" that may account for the strange electronic behavior of some layered helical magnets.

The materials in the study are magnetic at cold temperatures and become nonmagnetic as they thaw. Experimental physicist Makariy Tanatar of Ames National Laboratory at Iowa State University noticed perplexing electronic behavior in layered helimagnetic crystals and brought the mystery to the attention of Rice theoretical physicist Andriy Nevidomskyy, who worked with Tanatar and former Rice graduate student Matthew Butcher to create a computational model that simulated the quantum states of atoms and electrons in the layered materials.

Magnetic materials undergo a "thawing" transition as they warm up and become nonmagnetic. The researchers ran thousands of Monte Carlo computer simulations of this transition in helimagnets and observed how the magnetic dipoles of atoms inside the material arranged themselves during the thaw. Their results were published in a recent study in Physical Review Letters.

At a submicroscopic level, the materials under study are composed of thousands of 2D crystals stacked one atop another like pages in a notebook. In each crystal sheet, atoms are arrayed in lattices, and the physicists modeled quantum interactions both within and between sheets.

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umseb · 5 months

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f1 track simulator sebastian vettel at monte carlo - may 11, 2010

#sebastian vettel #f1 #formula 1 #monaco gp 2010 #flashback fic ref #flashback fic ref 2010 #not a race #2010 not a race #between spain and monaco 2010 #(note to self: no idea when actually filmed)

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swallowtanager · 7 months

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hey, so, uh, I made a monte carlo simulation to calculate Grian's supposed likelihood of fishing mending and all that...

Edit: Alright, it's settled, then! Check back in an undetermined time for the final video. (It's midterms, pls cut me some slack,,)

#hermitcraft s10 #hermitcraft fishing #hermitcraft season 10 #hermitblr #hermitcraft #grian #hermitcraft grian #mending book #fishing for mending #mending book fishing #hermitcraft grian s10 ep6

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l-estappen · 4 months

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The Crown Jewel 🇲🇨

ii. EA Sports F1 24 'The 10 Racers'

"He won in Vegas; he wins in Monte Carlo! Charles Leclerc wins this EA Sports F1 24 'The 10 Racers' event. What a drive! Unbelievable stuff there from Charles Leclerc, taking the victory," Matt Gallagher’s voice booms through the speakers, announcing my win.

From my simulator, I spot Max in his, a playful gleam in his eye. He’s finished second, but he’s always my biggest competition and supporter. Our rivalry makes everything more exciting, constantly pushing us to be better, both on and off the track.

Naomi Schiff approaches, the studio lights reflecting off her bright smile as she holds the mic out. "Congratulations, Charles! Your first Monaco Grand Prix victory. Tell us, what emotions are you feeling right now? You're not crying as much as in qualifying."

I chuckle, recalling how my eyes had stung and teared up from the unbroken focus, a moment that had been mistaken for crying. "No, qualifying was the peak of the weekend…" I burst out laughing, "… but yeah, it was a very good race. We had a different strategy from Max. He went for soft-medium, which was aggressive and nearly worked. But his tires were done by the end, so we managed to take the win. Very special feeling today."

From the corner of my eye, I see someone hand Max a mic. Still in his simulator, mischief sparkles in his eyes. Naomi turns to him, curiosity lighting up her face. "Max, you were so close to winning. What happened?"

"You know how it is. Sometimes you take risks, and they pay off, and sometimes…" He pauses dramatically, glancing at me, "…they don't. Today, it was all about tire strategy. Charles got lucky."

"Lucky?" I interject with a laugh. "Is that what we’re calling skill these days?"

Max grins, his playful nature shining through. "We all know you had the racing sim gods on your side today. Who else could keep their tires in such good condition?"

"Or maybe I just know how to take care of my car better. It's not all about speed, you know. Sometimes, finesse wins the race."

Naomi, sensing the playful banter, smiles broadly. "So, Max, are you saying Charles' victory was purely luck? Or is there some admiration hidden in there somewhere?"

Max feigns a thoughtful expression, tapping his chin. "Let's see… I'd say 90% luck, 10% skill."

"He’s just jealous because he lost. Admit it, I’m the better driver."

Max raises an eyebrow, his grin widening. "Better driver? We’ll see about that this weekend."

Naomi laughs along with us, enjoying the light-hearted exchange. "It sounds like the rivalry is alive and well. Charles, any final words before we wrap up?"

"Just that I’m looking forward to the weekend. And thank you for having us."

As the interview wraps up and the cameras turn off, I push myself out of the simulator. Max mirrors my actions, a grin on his face as he approaches.

"Congrats, schatje," he whisper, pulling me into a tight hug. He presses a gentle kiss to the top of my head, his playful grin still in place.

“Merci bébé,” I counter, my voice coming out a bit breathless. The proximity, the heat of his body against mine, the way his hand lingers on my back—it’s all getting to me. Winning always gets me fired up, but winning against Max intensifies the effect.

"Remember our little agreement?"

Max's eyes widen slightly, the mischief in them flickering with curiosity. "Of course. The winner gets to choose the prize," he remarks, his voice low and playful.

"I want you to blow me," I whisper, my lips brushing his ear. "In the bathroom, right now."

Max pulls back, glancing around to ensure we're not being watched. "And who am I to deny the victor his prize?"

Without another word, we make our way to the bathroom at the back, and as the door clicks shut behind us, I grab Max, shoving him against the cool tile wall. My hands roam over his body, feeling the heat of his skin through his clothes, fingers digging into his muscles.

My lips crash onto his, the kiss searing and desperate. I nip at his lower lip, pulling it between my teeth, and he groans, the sound rough and guttural. His hands tangle in my hair, yanking me closer, his body grinding against mine.

"Fuck, Charles," he mutters, breath hot against my mouth, "what the hell's gotten into you?"

"Beating you makes me hard," I manage to reply, my tongue plunging into his mouth, tasting him, claiming him.

“Baby, someone could hear us,” he murmurs, but there’s no real protest in his voice.

“Let them,” I growl, quickly switching positions with him. My hands are already undoing my pants as I push them and my boxers down, my erection springing free. I guide Max onto his knees, my hand tangling in his hair, and he doesn’t need any more encouragement.

His hands dig into my thighs, pulling me closer as he takes me into his mouth. The wet heat of his tongue wraps around me and he works me expertly, swirling around the head of my cock, teasing me before he plunges deeper, taking me to the hilt, exactly how I like it.

“Putain, Max,” I gasp, my head falling back against the wall. The sensation of his mouth around me is overwhelming, each bob of his head sending waves of pleasure through me. I thrust my hips forward, and he takes me deeper, his throat constricting around me.

His saliva drips down, mixing with my own pre-cum, adding to the slickness. The smell of sex fills the small space, intensifying the raw, filthy nature of the moment.

My fingers tighten in his hair, guiding his movements as I sink in further, hitting the back of his throat, and his gag reflex squeezes me tighter, sending another wave of intense pleasure coursing through my body.

“Just like that, bébé,” I pant, my voice rough with need.

He hums around me, the vibration adding another layer of sensation. His hands move to my ass, pulling me closer as he takes me even deeper, his nose brushing against my pubes. I can feel the pressure building, my orgasm approaching fast.

"Gonna come, Max," I warn, my grip tightening. He doesn’t slow down, his pace quickening as he sucks harder. I can’t hold back anymore. With a final thrust, I come hard, my cock pulsing as I spill into his mouth. His throat works around me, swallowing every drop eagerly. The sight of his lips sealed around me, the way he hungrily takes it all, makes my knees weak. His tongue flicks and laps up the last of it, ensuring nothing is wasted. The warm, slick sensation of his mouth, the sound of his swallowing, and the lingering aftershocks send shivers through my body.

I slump against the wall, trying to catch my breath as he stands up, wiping the corner of his mouth with a satisfied smirk. "Did that meet your expectations?" he asks, his voice husky.

“Exceed them, as always,” I reply, drawing him into a tender kiss. The taste of myself on his lips only fuels my desire for him. “Your turn next time.”

Max leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead, enveloping him in a warm embrace. “I’ll hold you to that, Schatje.”

“Count on it,” I murmur into his neck.

#ao3 #lestappen fic #lestappenoneshots #charles leclerc/max verstappen #charles leclerc #max verstappen

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