Is This Love? - Part 3
Book: Desire and Decorum
Summary: Elizabeth’s first passion was presented to her in an old house, twelve years before her feet meandered through the gardens of Edgewater. / After her mother fell ill, Elizabeth and Briar talk about life and love while enjoying a day of rest at Grovershire. / Years later, Mary’s words come back to Elizabeth, when she ponders if first impressions are truly deceiving.
Word count: ~5.000 words
Notes:
* Part of the events in this series take place prior to the story of Book 1 and my series The Pursuit of Happiness, and retell some of the events from the first chapters of that book. The scene with Mr. Sinclaire takes place at Chapter 3, and I reproduced part of the original dialogues.
* Characters belong to PixelBerry, except OCs;
* English is not my first language.
This is my submission to @julychoiceschallenge - Day 26: Fairy tale.
Edgewater – March, 1816
Holding her nose up, Elizabeth closed her eyes and let the delightful fragrance of the flowers in bloom fill her lungs.
Painted with uncountable blossoms, some of which she could not name nor recognize, and paths surrounded by perfectly trimmed hedges and statues, the gardens at Edgewater were extraordinary.
However, not all the beauty around could soothe the young woman, whose mind was racing, anxiety running through her veins in the imminence of meeting her father. What if he was no longer the man her mother met at her youth? Twenty years are long enough for life to mould the soul into something else...
Every distraction is welcomed, and more importantly, she could learn more about him previously to their encounter.
After a long ride from Grovershire, stretching her legs at this magnificent place, even if not by choice, seemed somewhat perfect.
Though, the same could not be said about the company.
If not for the sounds of their footsteps on the stony path and the chirping of birds, there would only be a sepulchral silence hanging between them. An unbearable silence.
Shouldn’t we engage in conversation? she ponders, It seems rude to ignore me, even if I’m merely the Earl’s natural daughter as Mr. Sinclaire promptly remarked. Certainly, against his will, he obliged to Dowager Countess Dominique’s request. At least, his gentlemanly manners even if cold are respectful this far...
Not an improper word came from his mouth, despite being completely alone with her. Unlike some previous experiences.
Grovershire – February, 1804.
The first time Elizabeth went to the Dunnes’ stately home at the road to Moorfield, she was mesmerized by its size and froze in place.
For an instant, her green eyes studied everything from the bottom of the stair to the top of the roof covered in white. The tall façade of the two-store construction had a lasting impression on her and it'd take twelve years for Elizabeth to realize the world was so much greater outside Grovershire, and that house was far from being the palace that frequented her infant’s imagination. An estate less than a day of travel away would reveal a completely different world of unimaginable wealth, grandness and as much intrigue as some of the novels she was presented by the Dunne’s dusty library.
Mary’s soft voice called her name, her gloved hand enveloping hers, and they crossed the remaining distance. The fresh snow crunching beneath their boots.
On that winter morning, mother and daughter were ushered inside through the front doors. Her mother brushed flocks of snow from the little girl’s tresses while Elizabeth’s eyes raked around taking everything in, while they followed a man with a commanding voice.
The infant’s small legs struggled to keep up with her mother’s pace until they finally reached the bottom of a spiralling wooden staircase. A pleasant feminine voice caught her attention, and her eyes were drawn to the top, where stood a woman with dark blonde hair styled in an intricate updo and a dress unlike any other paraded at the town square.
The women’s rosy cheeks rounded when she spotted the seamstress. Waving her hands, she invited them upstairs, and mother and daughter followed the woman down a long corridor and past some doors. One door in particular, slightly opened, caught Elizabeth’s attention.
The glimpse of a room covered in wood and shelves filled with books glued her to the floor. At home, they possess two books, an old Bible Mary uses to teach her how to read, and Moll Flanders, which was deemed unsuitable for a girl her age – though her curious eyes have already explored the pages without her mother’s knowledge.
Suddenly, realizing the quietness at the corridor, she sprinted to catch up to her mother, waiting at the end of the corridor with her basket filled with sewing instruments.
For the next hours, sitting on a small wooden bench, Elizabeth observed Mary take the measures of Mrs. Georgiana Dunne, be presented to rich colourful fabrics from Moorfield and London, to drawings of French dresses on magazines and to each one of the woman’s desires.
“It’s my first Season in years... Now that the boys are growing…” the woman explained with a wistful smile and Mary nodded with understanding.
The next days, Mary worked incessantly on the dresses for Mrs. Dunne, and whenever they went to the house, the young girl craved to have a moment at that room. Dusty books calling for her. Gates to magnificent worlds and formidable characters just waiting to be opened.
One afternoon when the mistress of the house entertained guests at tea-time, and her mother absentmindedly sew the hemline of a dress, singing an old-time favourite, Elizabeth tiptoed her way out of the room. Aware that any day now could be their last spent at that home, the girl took a leap of faith and sneaked into the library.
A victorious grin curled her lips once she cracked the door and walked inside unseen.
Moving alongside the shelves, her little fingers grazed each book, while her tongue pronounced the titles and names imprinted on the spines.
A last look over her shoulder and she took one from the shelf. Fingertip grazing the leather and the sulks of each letter engraved on the cover.
“The Canterbury Tales from –” she paused and failed to pronounce the author’s name.
“Geoffrey Chaucer,” a feminine voice spoke behind her. “A rather unexpected choice of book.”
Peeking over her shoulder, Elizabeth glimpsed the silhouette of Mrs. Dunne on the doorway, and she froze in place. Eyes fixed on the evidence of her crime, she waited to be chastised.
The tapping of the shoes resonated and grew closer, and the girl’s heart thumped faster and louder.
“However, I suppose we can find one that is better suited for a curious little girl as yourself,” said the woman gently taking the book from her hands and brushing past her. “Let me see…”
Elizabeth’s eyes raised from her feet and she peeked at Mrs. Dunne. Her finger was touching the spines while she looked at each book carefully. A satisfied smile when she pulled a green covered one.
“Are you familiar with the tales of Charles Perrault?”
The girl shook her head, averting the woman’s gaze.
“Then you should read this one.” The book and a warm smile were offered to her. “I believe you shall enjoy it. My boys used to love The Little Red Riding Hood.”
Rooted to the ground, Elizabeth stared with amazement at the treasured item on her hands, while the woman turned around and hummed.
“Where is that Botanic treaty? Oh! Here it is!” she wielded the tome like a trophy and ushered the girl outside. “Now, go on, before your mother starts worrying about you.”
Elizabeth could not believe her fortune! Not only her behaviour went unpunished, but the woman lent her a book. An unconcealable wide grin while returning to the room where her mother was working.
That afternoon, sitting on that small bench, she read the first pages. She still didn’t know this one would become her favourite book, nor that only on her third time reading many years later she’d understand what Perrault meant by luring tongues and experience first-hand the dangers of wolves who try to take advantage of unchaperoned young ladies.
Over the years, many other tomes followed this first one. With a gentle smile, Mrs. Dunne offered to lend her as many as she’d like, as long as she promised to share her opinions later. When Mary fell ill on the fall of 1811, Elizabeth took most of her mother’s chores, and she was allowed to spend some moments at the library whenever she went to the Dunnes to pick up the clothes for mending and washing.
Grovershire – July, 1812.
Just a word from the smiling lady and up the stairs Elizabeth went.
A familiar path to a familiar room.
Soon, she stood in front of the heavy wooden door with its carved panels and delicate engravings. The brass doorknob shaded by the years felt cold against her hand when she encircled it.
With a creak the old door opened to a room bathed in the late morning sunlight, which streamed from large windows and dust danced in the air. The woody and faint musty scents reached her nostrils and, instead of frowning as some would, Elizabeth smiled. The air was filled with the passage of time, but she could also recognize the smoke from old battles and dragons’ flames; the floral scent of gardens from distant and exotic lands and the rosewater exuded by the princess’ hair. This was one of her favourite places, where for a few moments she could have a glimpse of a thousand different lives and experience realities other than the one of a poor seamstress’ daughter from a tiny English village.
Numerous rows of books neatly arranged on the bookshelves that covered two of the room's walls: maroon, ochre and green spines facing outward. Gateways to fantasy worlds that reserve adventures, love, and romance, as well as tragedy and intrigue – and does she love the intrigue!
The quietness of the library only disturbed by the click-clack of the boot’s heels when Elizabeth moved towards the shelves, eager to reach for the next portal.
There were so many books, but she could not help it but returning to her favourites.
On one hand, she could reread Gulliver’s Travels, on the other, she could choose the Greek tragedy Mrs. Dunne recommended. The latter was taken from the shelf, and she opened at a random page and skimmed it.
When I am tossed to such an height of dark foreboding, woman, when my mind / Faceth such straits as these, where should I find a mightier love than thine?¹
What does that even mean? she wondered and continue reading the next verses.
“Do you even know how to read?”
The masculine voice startled her, disrupting the reading.
Too absorbed by the difficult choice, she failed to notice his steps or, perhaps, furtive as a cat, he intentionally muffled the tapping of his soles on the hardwood floor. Either way, his presence was unwanted.
Turning around, she faced Mrs. Dunne’s youngest son. The face peppered with freckles much closer than anticipated. Red hair tousled and spiked as a burning fire on the top of his head. Despite his cheeks conserving a childish roundness, Sean Dunne was no longer a child. The fifteen-year-old has outgrown her since she saw him last around Christmas time.
Elizabeth is acquainted with the Dunnes boys for years, and even though Sean was not particularly unattractive, he certainly was not as handsome as his older brothers, especially Francis with his perfect styled locks. Though, the young girl considers, the most unpleasant features are not his thin lips or the narrow chest, but his tongue always ready to spit out cruelty.
“Why you ask?” Elizabeth retorted with another question, unable to conceal the annoyance inspired by his presence, and lowered her eyes, as expected. On the floor, the muddy imprints from his brown dirty boots marked his path all the way from the door.
“People like you usually don’t.”
She raised her chin and contemplated the contemptuous smirk on his lips.
“People like me?”
“Poor.”
“Oh, I see. Since I am poor, I must be illiterate?” she questioned, eyes blazing with indignation.
His head bobbed and she took a deep breath. After so many visits to this library, it seems almost impossible that he still assumes she cannot read. Was he trying to irritate her and chase her away from this place?
Ignoring his presence, her eyes returned to the book.
“So, can you?”
Without raising her eyes from the book, Elizabeth asked, “You assume every single person is exactly the same according to their origin?”
“Those assumptions never failed me before.”
“This is prejudice.”
“It certainly is not if it is sustained by facts.”
An unfamiliar urge to punch him boiling inside her narrowed her green eyes, but Elizabeth took a deep breath, reminding herself where she was.
“You haven’t answered my question,” he insisted. “It’s very rude to not do so.”
Tilting her chin up, her eyes abandoned the verses and she pronounced with purpose her next words, “People say gingers are untrustworthy and just a glimpse of one could bring bad luck... You’re a ginger. Should I assume my day shall be ruined now?”
Superstition or not, you already spoiled my day, she thought but kept that opinion to herself.
Sean grimaced. Growing up as the only redhead amongst his four brothers and one of the few in the village provided his share of hurtful words over the years.
“This is not... Those are superstitions from provincial minds!” he snapped but didn’t storm out in an unexpected turn of events.
They fell silent, and she closed the book, considering if she should leave. Meanwhile his hazel eyes took her in, lingering on the small mounds that have grown three summers ago. The tip of his index finger touched the cover of the book and he glanced at the title.
“Perhaps you should sit over there and read for me. To prove my assumption is wrong.”
“Why would I be willing to prove anything to you, Mr. Dunne?” Her question answered with a snorted laugh, and he inched closer. The urge to flee grew inside her, and she clutched at the book, nails digging into the leather.
At all costs, Elizabeth avoids being alone with members of the opposite sex, just like her mother warned her. Life’s already too hard as it is, and she’s seen more than thrice what happens with girls like her who trusted the vain promises of lads, especially the ones with riches. Once their desires are satisfied, the girls are left with their crosses to bear, carrying the symbol of their sins on their arms and all the judgement upon their shoulders.
His arm raised, and his hand darted upwards, close to her head and she flinched.
Pulling a book from the shelf, he smiled to himself. “I saw you at Wincrest Stream yesterday,” he said skimming at a random page, although his eyes kept coming back to her face and cleavage. “You weren’t bathing with the others.”
“I didn’t feel like it.”
Three years ago, Elizabeth stopped bathing there, warned by her mother about the boys spying on her, even though she loved to submerge in its cold crystal-clear waters during summertime.
“Can’t you swim?”
“Why are you suddenly interested in what I can or cannot do?”
“Shouldn’t you just be pleased someone like yourself picked the interest of someone like myself?”
“That depends on the reasons,” she retorted, her mind filled with memories of all the vicious names he called Briar and herself over the years, and their happiness when he joined his brothers at the military academy, spending months away from the village.
The young man stepped forward and his fingers touched the skin of her arm.
She backed away and glared. “Do not touch me again,” she hissed, clutched the book tight to her chest, and rapidly walked out of the room.
“Why are you leaving?” he cried, and she heard his laughter while her feet took her running down the stairs, heartbeat accelerating with each step. She shall not stand and wait for misfortune to catch up to her.
A few days later
Huffing, Elizabeth paced faster and faster. Her brown dirty boots stomped and squashed the tall grass, while taking her further away from Wincrest Stream. Both hands tight around the maroon covered book, pressing it against her chest.
Crossing the field peppered with yellow buttercup flowers, Briar, with the hem of her dress pulled up, was almost running to catch up with her.
“You shall never marry if you don’t allow anyone to come closer to you, Lizzy,” Briar’s nasal voice ringed behind her and caused her to stop.
Similar statements left her friend’s tongue before. Marriage is a subject whose relevance grows with each passing year and becomes a life-changing decision for girls like them. A chance to remedy their unfortunate birth, as some say; quickly followed by the advice to take advantage of their good-looks and youth, while they can.
“Tell me, if you may, one – just one – name of a young man amongst those that is in fact looking for a wife here.”
The inquiry knitted together the other’s black brows, and the brunette pursed her lips in contemplation of an answer.
“Alright,” she finally admitted, “perhaps none of those are.” A grin, however, parted Briar’s lips when she looked over her shoulders and added, “But they are quite handsome blokes. You must admit it. And haven’t you noticed? Sean Dunne has taken a liking to you.”
Elizabeth snorted at the name, and Briar’s eyebrows and hands raised at her.
“What is wrong with him? He is no longer that spoiled brat.”
“He’s the same, Briar. Just taller.”
“He seems different… Of course, he is not as handsome as his brother Francis…” she teased.
Elizabeth’s cheeks painted itself in a darker shade of red, while she stumbled on the words to refute the insinuation.
“Alright,” Briar acquiesced, with a smirk. “But Sean is a fine lad from a good family, lives in that palace, and whose mother likes you and enjoys your company.”
“It is clear there’s only one thing he wants from me,” Elizabeth said, and they shared a knowing look, both aware of Mary’s warnings about the ruses those lads use to seduce poor lasses like the pair.
Briar pursed her lips, and uphill they meandered the path surrounded by tall asters, whose yellow centres were visited by buzzing bees.
Skin still cold from the stream’s water, Briar’s arm encircled her friends’ and she hummed a familiar tune. Elizabeth couldn’t help but join her. Soon they were singing at the top of their lungs.
When they finally reached the top, Briar sighed and casted a wistful glance behind. “Sean’s friend was tall and handsome... Have you seen his hair? So dark and shiny!”
Looking her squarely in the eye, Elizabeth frowned but didn’t say a word.
“I know the reason lads from good families like those come after girls like us... but... sometimes I wish this one could be different…”
“I know,” Elizabeth sighed, and lowered her gaze and her hands. Pulling the hem of her dress up, mimicking her friend, they both jumped a fence and reached the orchard.
Elizabeth sat down beneath a tree, resting her back against the trunk, and opened the book, while Briar leaned against another tree.
“What are you reading?”
“A Greek tragedy. Would you care if I read it to you?”
“Oh! A tragedy? Never! Life is already too tragic!” Briar snickered at her own banter. “But you can carry on… I mean, if that is how you want to enjoy your day of rest.”
“Just a bit,” she replied softly, “We have plenty of time before sunset.”
In silence, they both occupied themselves. Elizabeth’s attention returned to the book, and Briar combed her long damp hair with her fingers, before taking a seat beside her friend. Braiding her own hair, she peeked at the pages.
“You are lovely and intelligent,” Briar started, speaking softly, and her friend stopped reading and looked at her. “A rich lad like Sean Dunne or any other being enamoured with you… it is not an impossible thing to happen, Lizzy. And if you married, nobody would mistake you for the maid.”
“Oh, Briar! Empty pockets make us equals...” Elizabeth tried to remedy the unhappiness glistening her friend’s eyes, even though this statement was untrue. Poverty was something both the Thompsons and the Dalys had in common. For years, however, Elizabeth was aware of the unjust society they both lived in and how the Daly’s dark skin and heritage was frown upon by many of the townsfolks.
Shrugging her concern, the brunette assured she was fine.
“You are beautiful, my friend. Next year you shall be crowned the Harvest Queen. You shall see it!” Elizabeth said softly and the other beamed. Amusement lighting her face.
“Even if I don’t, at least I will beat you in every game!”
Sticking her tongue out, Elizabeth replied the teasing, “You wish!”
They took turns bragging about their abilities in each game and they laughed together. Even though, with her mother’s illness, Elizabeth barely had time to play games anymore and if not for Mrs. Daly being at the cottage with her mother, she would not be outside enjoying the sunny day.
“I missed this…” Elizabeth said softly, leaning her head on her friend’s shoulder, and Briar glanced at her, and in a low tone assured her mother would get better soon.
After a few moments, Elizabeth shook her head and wiped a tear streaming down her face. Standing up and raising one arm, she suggested they should weave their own flower crowns and proclaim themselves the queens of those meadows. Reigning over bees and foxes.
Briar grinned and teased her friend’s silliness, but soon they were both plucking twigs and wildflowers. While their hands worked, their tongues chatted.
Contemplating her friend’s face for a moment, tip of the tongue sticking out in concentration, Briar mused, “If we’re queens, there is an issue that must be addressed immediately, Your Majesty.” When the other’s gaze raised, a confirmation she was paying attention, she continued, “Who shall be our kings?”
Elizabeth shook her head slowly. “Don’t you ever stop thinking about romance?”
“Never,” Briar laughed, her shoulders shaking with mirth. “And I cannot believe you do not think about it too! With all those novels you read and the sparkles in your eyes…”
“I have no time for that,” she snorted.
“Nonsense! There is always time for love!” Briar nudged her side. “Unless you are waiting for a dashing prince like the ones from the fairy-tales to come to Grovershire and whisk you away to live at his palace?”
“That’s a preposterous idea! Why would a prince even come here in the first place?”
“Obviously because of you, Lizzy!” Briar said with a playful smile and placed the flower crown on the top of her head. “But we might have to start a rumour that you are a princess, trapped by a witch in a tower with an enormous treasure, chests filled with gold and jewels... Waiting for your saviour. And a kiss!”
“Who would even believe that?”
“Men! They are silly and would take any opportunity to rescue a damsel in distress. You shall see.”
“You’re the silly one...” Elizabeth shook her head.
Smiling mischievously, Briar jumped to her feet and pulled her friend up. Kneeling, the brunette clasped the other’s hands and dramatically declared undying love, shouting to the wind, while the other tried to shush her. Unable to keep a serious face, the laugh leaked from Elizabeth’s lips and the infectious sound was accompanied by her friend’s chortles. Their expressions of joy echoing in the fields like birdsongs.
Hand over her stomach, Briar doubled over with laughter; and Elizabeth touched her shoulder, gasping for air.
When the giggles subsided, Elizabeth wiped the tears streaming down her face, and sat down. Looking at her, Briar asked softly, “Aren’t you afraid of growing into an old maid?”
“I can think of worst things to happen to me,” Elizabeth shrugged.
“I myself consider this to be a tragedy!”
Briar spun with arms wide open, skirts swirling and head falling back. The sight brought a smile to Elizabeth’s face.
“I desire to fall in love with a handsome man!” she recited hugging herself, with a coquettish smile, “A man with gentle manners and strong arms! One who would kiss me until I lose my breath.”
Elizabeth gasped at the bold words.
“Don’t give me that scandalized look, Lizzy!” the brunette said, winking at her. “You’ve read so many novels, you don’t expect me to believe you don’t think about it too!”
Elizabeth’s cheeks turned redder, however a smile curled her lips and her friend approached.
“I long to feel the kind of love I read in books someday,” Elizabeth confessed, chin propped in one hand.
“I knew it!” Briar pointed at her, a victorious grin on her lips. “Thus, you do think about getting married one day!”
“Perhaps... Now I don’t have the time nor am willing to worry about that. Mama requires my assistance, and I must work and support both of us… Besides if I ever do marry, it shall be on my terms.”
“Certainly!”
“…With a kind man whose eyes are gentle and with whom I can talk and –”
“What about his looks?” Briar interrupted. “He must be handsome!”
“Not necessarily!”
“Will you be willing to kiss a toothless mouth?” Briar made a face. “Or give birth to his ugly children?”
“I admit it, a hardworking man easy on the eye would be better… But the most important is that our home is filled with joy and he shall be my best friend.”
“And rich!”
“He does not have to be rich...”
“A man with a fortune could take care of you and your mother. Life would be much easier,” Briar rakes the callous on her own hands and looks at her friend. “You wouldn’t have to work this much. You could eat all the sweets you wanted!”
“That’s more appealing to you!” Elizabeth giggled, while the other continued to enumerate what money could provide, “… And wear the most beautiful dresses with the finest fabrics from Mrs. O’Malley’s shop. And even from London! Read! Travel!”
“It all sounds marvellous, indeed. But without a dowry, that is an impossible dream...”
“Dreams come true at times. All you need is a fairy godmother.”
Grinning, Elizabeth asked, “Are you volunteering?”
“Who knows…”
Edgewater – March, 1816
Sighing, Elizabeth’s free hand twitched once again with the wide brim of the fancy bonnet that complimented her new dress. At the same time, the elegant item protects her face from sunlight – though that never concerned a girl used to run free at the fields outside Grovershire regardless of the weather – and reduces her peripheral vision, making it impossible to cast a discreet sidelong glance.
How does a lady engage in a conversation without seeing the face of the person besides her? This is ridiculous!
Risking behaving improperly, she turned her head to have a clear view from the man's serious face.
Judging by his expression, Edgewater just taught her first lesson: a request from the Dowager Countess is indeclinable. Not even this gentleman could refuse taking Elizabeth to stroll in a garden that is not his own.
When the pair looked at her expectantly, Elizabeth, who had just met her grandmother, could only ponder if denying this request would not only be considered rude but affect her relationship with the woman. Therefore, it seemed appropriate to just say yes, and that she did. Now they were strolling, her hand placed on the crook of the arm of a stranger who seemed utterly displeased by her company.
Taking a deep breath, Elizabeth tried to engage in a conversation with her companion, in order to get to know the man as her grandmother intended, yet all she received were curt responses to every one of her questions.
“You are a man of few words, Mr. Sinclaire.”
“I find idle conversation to be a waste of time,” the man replied, explaining why he would rather not spend his valuable time on remarks about the weather or gossip.
Raising her eyebrows, Elizabeth spoke again meeting his gaze, “Have you ever considered ‘idle conversation’ at least passes the time? I find it much more enjoyable than passing unwanted time together in silence.”
“Is that what this is? Undesirable conversation?” the man asked, his voice tinged by indignation.
“I would never say such a thing, sir!” Elizabeth replied, lowering her gaze and biting back a snicker, under the covering of her bonnet. “Perhaps you feel that way about the situation, since, you’re the one who called this idle conversation in the first place. I would hate to waste your time…”
“Hmph, you give your mind rather freely.”
“Mama taught me honesty is a virtue.”
“Is there not an opinion you would deign inappropriate to speak aloud?”
“Plenty,” she replied, considering every occasion she held her tongue and uttered the polite answer instead. “However, would it not be impolite to leave your question unanswered?”
Mr. Sinclaire stopped, casting a quizzical look. While he studied her, Elizabeth pursed her lips, fighting the urge to giggle at his reaction, and pondering if perhaps her teasing had gone too far.
“I honestly don’t know what to make of you, Miss Thompson.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“I’ve not yet decided. You’re clearly different than the other women I have encountered at Edgewater.”
Different. Is this a euphemism?
She averted his gaze and shook her head. Obviously, her low birth and lack of refinement could not be hidden beneath fine clothes. The words the Dowager Countess whispered to describe him – “eligible bachelor” and “wealthiest landowner around” – ringed in her mind and contrasted with the ones Mr. Sinclaire used to refer to herself: “the Earl’s natural daughter”. That is how I will be known as, isn’t it? Always reminded of my status as an illegitimate daughter.
“Let me take a gander,” she said meeting his gaze, “I’m different because of my low birth.”
“Your background has nothing to do with it…”
“If that’s the case, you could have fooled me. That was one of the first things you remarked upon! And I cannot say I received the impression you were pleased to meet me, much less spend more time with.”
A scowl contorted Mr. Sinclaire’s face, and he returned his focus to the path ahead. Once more, silence fell upon their promenade.
Elizabeth pondered about the man beside her, and so far, her impressions about their previous hasty and ill-mannered meeting remained. Recognizing her as someone unworthy of his time and courtesy was probably the reason why Mr. Sinclaire would not stop and apologise after almost trampling her.
“Why ever did you agree with the dowager’s request in the first place?” Elizabeth dared ask, tired of his muteness, looking him squarely in the eyes. “You don’t seem all that fond of my company…”
His blue eyes met her stare. Then he sighed and his expression softened.
“Forgive me if it came across that way… but don’t presume to know my mind,” he said in a low voice.
Elizabeth nodded and decided to drop the subject at once, not wishing to taint her first visit to these magnificent gardens with this quarrel with Mr. Sinclaire. Why would she even mind his opinions about herself?
Walking past some bushes, Mr. Sinclaire lead the way and they found themselves before a lake. Sitting on the bench to admire the sight, Elizabeth couldn’t hold her contentment and for the first time, Mr. Sinclaire smiled, speaking about the times spent with his grandmother walking that same path and enjoying that same view.
A moment later, however, his expression changed once more. Reminiscing about the absent one, the smile was erased from his lips.
Elizabeth recognized something familiar. Before he looked away following a pair of ducks gliding on the quiet surface of the water, she spotted the pain in his eyes, and shared a story about her mother, and how she cherishes every memory.
“I suppose the absence of the ones we love shall persist…” she said quietly.
“Yes, I suppose it shall. The memories never fade completely. Nor the pain,” he lowered his voice and gaze to his hands, “I am sorry for your loss.”
She thanked him and they stared at the ducks quacking.
Suddenly, her mother’s words about first impressions returned to her mind, and she glanced at him. Perhaps, she had been too hasty in her judgement.
Taking a deep breath, she decided upon trying again. Perhaps, they both could use a friend. On their way back to the manor they talked about the gardens and his grandmother.
When they reached the imposing entrance, a shiver ran down Elizabeth’s spine.
“You know my father, do you not?” she asked, and he confirmed. “May I ask you which are your impressions of him?” Though her voice sounded steady, the wriggling hands betrayed her, and the man noticed it.
“The Earl, he is a good man,” he replied with a small smile, “and he is pleased with the idea of meeting you.”
A wide smile curled her lips, and she thanked him for his answer, and noticed a distinct glint in his blue eyes.
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Notes:
1. The extract Elizabeth reads is from Oedipus King of Thebes by Sophocles.
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