#Mountain aki where are you.

[wolfnlamb]

I want kisses on my forehead while being folded in half. *inhuman screaming*

[https-furina]

okay okay so, since im already on the angst train and i want to hurt myself today, hear me out:

you and your lover are out doing wtv and you're ambushed and then, naturally, you guys fight the enemies right?

okay so you get hurt and youre losing a lot of blood and your lover realizes this and is completely heartbroken bc you dont have much time, the wound is deep

so um yeah the reader dies in their lover's arms basically, with albedo, heizou, kazuha, wanderer, xiao and kaeya

theres so many characters im curious abt so please take your time mwah

(ps: i will not pay anyone's therapy okay i need it myself, my condolaences for hurting you)

✎ i wasn't ready to say goodbye [various men - part one]

ft. albedo, aether, heizou, kazuha, wanderer, xiao & kaeya x fem!reader

content: do i need to say angst? i'm so sorry. major death + blood warnings. implied that reader can handle a weapon in most of them - unspecified if reader is a vision holder. hurt with absolutely no comfort. semi-spoilers for scaramouche/wanderer's story (end of the sumeru archon quests.)

notes: we added aether last second in the discord bc we summoned aki ( @kazumist - aly wanted you tagged ) some of them are awful and ooc i'm so sorry - officially managed this in just over 24 hours!

albedo treasures you more than he cares to admit verbally. it shows in all of his acts of love through physical means, lingering touches and making sure you're warm whenever you visit him on dragonspine. he hates you visiting him as much as he loves you - it's merely because it puts you in extreme danger every time. there's the temperatures, the wildlife, the lack of oxygen and of course, there's the monsters lurking around every corner of the inhabited mountain.

as the chief alchemist for the knights of favonius, there's always a warrant for albedo's life one way or another. the fatui are eager to stop his research - or steal it, maybe both.

there's a silence except for the howling winds that circle the snowy mountain. you're struggling to breathe, to get the sharp air into your lungs as you lowered your sword slowly. not far away, your boyfriend is finishing off the final fatui soldier, blood splattering onto his sleeve before he turns to face you. is it just you or does albedo look even more beautiful right now? you furrow your brows in confusion. albedo looks like he's seen a ghost, colour flushing from his face when he rushes forward. your knees give way under you and he barely manages to catch you in his arms, kneeling as he lets you lay against him. "bedo, love?" you mumble, unsure as to what's happening. you can hear the roar of your blood in your ears, your heart is beating whilst the adrenaline still pumps through your body. albedo hushes you softly, pupils dilated when he looks at your wound. "h-how do you feel?" his voice cracks when he asks the question, a gloved hand applying pressure to your side. you wince, the adrenaline is starting to fade and you feel faint. there's a cold sweat glistening on your forehead when you look down at where albedo's hand is, seeing the blood seep through your clothing. it's albedo's turn to watch your expression drop, your world starting to spin and mix together when the adrenaline is gone and you're aware of what happened. it feels as if there's a lump in your throat but when you try to cough it up, only blood spills in a small trickle out of your mouth. "love-" there's another cough, the blood is running down your jaw as albedo's hands start to shake. he has no means of saving you out here, you're nowhere near camp and he can't leave you here while he gets help, "i want to go home..." your voice is weak, trailing off and albedo isn't sure if he should let the tears brinking his ocean coloured eyes fall as your breaths become raspy. chapped lips open and close, trying to find the words to reply to you but all he can muster is a weak "we're going home, dear" when your chest ceases to rise again. his breathing is jagged, clutching you close to him as if you’ll disappear for good when he lets go.

aether clings to you like ivy to a brick building. you give him hope in this search for his twin sister - one he's beginning to think is failing, day by day. you reassure him, that bright smile and sparkling eyes setting him on the right path. he's certain he would have gave up ages ago if it wasn't for you. but aether realises that he is constantly in danger. you love to adventure with, crossing the rolling hills of mondstadt and gawking at the grand mountain peaks of liyue that pierce through clouds.

it was only so long before he faced the repercussions for so willingly letting you travel with him, tearing his hope away in the blink of an eye.

"a-aether?" your voice is wavering, aether is confused. you've been travelling with him for so long now, what could possibly have scared you about some hilichurls? but he turns to face you, blade at the ready - ready to protect you. his eyes fall on the arrow lodged in your chest, your eyes wide in fear as you stare at him in panic. it was already too late to protect you, he'd failed himself. aether drops the sword in his hand, paying no mind to how it clutters on the gravel below you both when he's rushing forward to ease you to the ground. you're stable - awake but for how long? you're in shock, it's going to fade and you'll succumb to the blood reddening your attire. aether swears lightly under his breath, unable to look you in the eyes out of pure guilt; this was his fault, he hadn't protected you. now not only had he lost his sister, he'd lost his partner too. "it hurts to breathe," you mumble, your eyelashes are fluttering gently. the sun behind aether is starting to burn at your eyes, "aether why are you crying?" the blond isn't even aware of the salty tears that glisten in the sunlight when they roll down his cheeks, dripping off his jaw and onto your shoulder where aether has laid your head onto his lap. it's comfortable, just as it always is. on days where you needed a break from walking, aether would often let you lay like this under a nearby tree. the thought makes aether choke out a sob. you smile sadly. "you can't leave me too," your hand cups his cheek, thumb weakly stroking at the tearstained skin when he hiccups, "no, this isn't fair." there isn't civilisation for days and he can't keep the arrow lodged in your chest nor does he have the means of stopping the blood if he pulls it out. aether is at a loss, unable to do anything while he watches the damage done to you internally take you from him beneath his own hands. "hey, you'll find her." you sound so certain, just as you always do and aether watches that positive spark die from your eyes when your breaths turn to rasps and he finds himself yelling at your body - at the sky, at anybody! he yells and yells, hoping someone listens to his cries for you to wake up. wake up, please.

heizou believes that of all the cases he's cracked, you're his favourite. he's read every line written into your skin as you age, the blemishes that litter your body and tell tales untold. you were his favourite mystery but now he had you like a stained glass window, beautiful and on display. although as a detective, heizou has destroyed many more lives than he is keen to admit. his suspects have families - lives, presumably before he has them in jail or worse, life sentence.

their families are hurt, angrily in denial that their own blood could commit such vile atrocities. heizou took something precious from them, what was stopping them from doing the same to him in an act of revenge?

heizou is more than used to his routine of coming home to you, being able to drown in the comfort of your arms after a long day of work. he's disturbed by the front door being open but albeit it's the peak of summer in inazuma, the humidity is drowning you, especially if you're not native to the islands. you're not quick to greet them when he steps in however, in fact he can't even see you. the house is untouched but the silence is deafening. "i'm home," heizou calls out, brows knitting together when he doesn't hear you chime his name back excitedly, "love?" the silence is killing heizou, it's unlike you at all but then he hears it, the meek sound of you calling his name out back. it sounds like you're in the bedroom and with a relieved smile, heizou finds himself heading to find you. but verdant eyes fall on the red smeared on the walls, staining the bedsheets and pooling around you. the relief is gone and his body is tense with dread as he drops the case files he'd been holding, quick to kneel with you and hug you close when you reach for him. "what happened?" his voice is panicked, he's barely breathing when he feels your blood soak through his clothes. he's searching you for your wound, shaking, "love, answer me." your chapped lips open but nothing seems to come out, you feel cold to the touch and all you can do is stare up at heizou. you knew the moment you was attacked that this was it for you but your biggest fear wasn't death, it was heizou. it was your witty detective, keen and full of intuition that he prides himself in; it was whether you'd see him one last time before your heart put in its final beat. heizou doesn't take your inability to speak lightly, letting out a flurry of curses that makes your brows furrow in distaste. you wasn't fond of him swearing when he got stressed but as you watch a tear fall down his cheek, you know you can't argue about his tongue anymore. he has every right to be mad when your bloody hand reaches up for him, the warm palm of his hand quick to grab your hand and coat his fingers. "i love you," you mumble, raspy and heizou is quick to shake his head - conserve your energy, "don't cry please." "you're not allowed to leave me," he chokes out, his lower lip tugged between his lips as his spare hand presses on your wound to try stop the bleeding. you wince but heizou doesn't lighten the pressure in fear, "i'll find who did this." your lips curl up at his words and heizou leans to press a kiss to your forehead, which is clammy and covered in a light sheen. by the time he pulls away, he's the only one left breathing in the room. heizou's shaking hands cup your cheeks, eyes darting around the room when he doesn't quite know what to do. he's used to this - the blood, the smell, the touch of a lifeless body but not when it's you. not when it's the love of his life. he wails in anguish, the taste in his mouth bitter when he swears revenge on whoever took you from him.

kazuha took his time warming up to you when you first met. you didn't blame him, you'd heard the tale of his late friend from captain beidou when you first came onboard the alcor. but your patience with him warmed his heart quicker than expected, leaving you inseparable as you travelled with the crew. even on land, kazuha was joined to your hip. he claimed he was there to protect you and that excuse expanded tenfold when you started dating.

he should have never taken his eyes off you, simply searching for firewood shouldn't have consequences like this.

when the last treasure hoarder falls limp to the dusty ground, kazuha finds himself enveloping you in his arms, eyes frantically scanning your face for signs of pain. you're unresponsive, eyelashes shut but your breathing is shallow while your body fights the unexpected blood loss. "fuck," he whispers, much out of his comfort zone when he's trying to find exactly where your wound is. your blood is staining his skin, getting under his nails where it'll haunt and remind him of what happened for weeks, "y/n? love?" your brows knit as if you can hear him but he's unsure if you're just reacting to the pain. your body is most likely in shock and kazuha is running out of time before the shock fades and you're left in excruciating pain until your last breath. the thought makes kazuha feel sick. he was gone for at least ten minutes, how did he lose you so quickly? he shouldn't have told you to stay at camp by yourself. you'd offered to go with him but kazuha trusted you'd be safe without him, even just for a few minutes. his face turns sour at his own thoughts. how foolish had he been to think you'd have been safe without him? "i-i love you," he stutters out, voice cracking as he presses a kiss to your head, burying his nose in your hair when he tries to blanket himself in your scent - begging to the archons that he'll wake up in bed, "come on, let's go back to the alcor, beidou will get help." he's speaking to you in the softest of tones, his voice hushed as to not disturb the silence of the countryside - or attract more unwanted attention. carefully, kazuha raises himself to his feet with you in his arms. he sees tomo in you for a moment, forcing himself to swallow when there's a suffocating lump in his throat. by the time kazuha has stumbled back to the alcor, beidou rushing over with her face void of colour, your heart is no longer thudding against your ribcage. kazuha will never again hear your heartbeat when he lays his head on your chest or feel your pulse in your wrist when he grabs hold of you.

wanderer figured it was foolish to fall in love after all he'd gone through. what was love when you've been betrayed so many times before? when the archons have so harshly ripped the ones you love away from you? he likes to scowl and shun the premise of love until he met you, an adventurer from the guild assisting in vahumana darshan commissions. you would stubbornly strike conversations up with him, following him as he walked away until he finally caved and would reply.

was it foolish to fall in love or rather was it foolish to place his fragile trust back in the hands of the archons?

his ears are ringing, was mawtiyima forest always this loud? no, it's not even loud - it's silent. the silence is buzzing in his ears, driving him insane as he watches you cough blood onto the dirt. you'd been tasked with clearing out the treasure hoarder camp within the glowing forest - but wanderer isn't stupid. to let you do that alone? he'd be a mad man. but now he isn't too sure if he should have tagged along. would it have hurt him less to find out you'd passed away out on a commission through the guild? or is it hurting less to watch as you splatter that precious red that you humans rely on all over the ground? wanderer finds himself barely able to utter a word. that's rare, he usually has something to say in that stark, rude tone he never explicitly dropped. it made him cold, it stopped people approaching and getting close. why didn't it work against you? "w-why are you looking at me like that?" you croak out, pupils dilated and staring at him in concern. he's as pale as the snow on dragonspine but the tip of his nose is a pink hue as tears well up and sting at his widened eyes. he's not crying, he refuses to cry - he puts it down to not having blinked for a while. so he blinks but you're still hunched over, impaled by a polearm before him. he finally moves forward, kneeling carefully to the side of you as you let out a choked sob, your hands gripping his cold ones tight in yours. he's confused, what did he do to deserve it this time? he didn't ask for this existence in the first place. cursing under his breath, his eyes land on your sword on the floor. it's worn, getting dull and wanderer questions if you was unable to protect yourself properly. no. he didn't protect you properly and the archons saw an opportunity, another jab at his curse of an existence. his eyes dart between you and the blade, then the polearm that isn't welcome where it is. you wince, hiccuping as you wail into the silence of mawtiyima forest. your vision is falling hazy in between the blur of your tears and you're struggling to keep your eyes on your boyfriend's familiar face. "no, no, no - don't go," wanderer panics. it's the first thing he's said since he offered to join you on this commission, "don't leave me, not you too." you let out a sad laugh, coughing blood once more as your breaths get shorter with every one you take. wanderer feels sick, the tears are falling down his cheeks and he can't deny them anymore. there's a last breath, raspy and suffocating before your body falls forward into his arms, limp like a doll. wanderer screams out into the night, hands clutching at the guild's uniform you would proudly wear. how many more times was he going to witness someone getting hastily robbed from him?

xiao keeps his distance, even as your beloved boyfriend that you struggle to be away from for extended periods. you were stubborn, believing he didn't have to succumb to his karma as an adeptus. no matter how much he would shuffle away, he could guarantee you would shuffle after him until he no longer moved away. you still gave him his space - you knew you could find him at wangshu inn.

or if you really needed him, in the midst of the night for a multitude of reasons, you could say his name.

there's a lump in xiao's throat, what the fuck happened? one moment he knows he hears your hurried screams of his name, there's a shrill panic in your tone and he's alert in seconds. he thought you was perhaps in danger but when golden eyes see how you're leaning back on a tree, blood soaking your shirt - and your blade, he realises the danger is gone. and in all of your stubbornness, you had defeated the danger alone but put your life on the line as a result. you smile at him weakly, his footsteps silent as he rushes over to your side. "i got it, don't worry, love." you sigh, tilting your head back on the bark. xiao scowls, you're losing consciousness from the blood now, it's starting to pool beneath you and run down the cracks of the bark behind you. this isn't a minor injury and yet you hadn't called for him sooner? "we need to get you out of here - morax- zhongli- he can help," he barely breathes in between his words, swallowing at the tight feeling in his throat when your eyes are closing, "keep your eyes open, please." his beg falls short of no one's ears other than his own and the stars above. xiao stops breathing himself, holding his breath when he hurries to press the pads of his fingers to your neck, your wrist, anywhere he can try find a pulse. but there's nothing, your body is still warm and xiao pulls you flush to his chest when tears begin to fall down his cheeks. "keep.. them open. please." he repeats in a whisper, nudging his nose against your head as he buries his face into your hair. he's begging in hushed whispers, words disappearing into the strands of your hair in silent prayers.

kaeya was the one who chased you first, lisa's darling library assistant. he'd never spent so much time in the library in his life, other than crepus' own library at the winery but he wasn't much fond of that collection. he isn't much fond of the knights' collection either, reading the same book every day. jean occasionally entrusts you to handle matters in the valleys of mondstadt, to which kaeya is quick to always interfere and say that he'll go with you.

history will always repeat itself until the lesson is learned and an innocent soul has to face the reality.

thunder booms over head, followed by a distant crack of lightning that illuminates the dark sky above mondstadt. kaeya is stood, motionless as he looks at you. his eyes are distant, there's a vacant look about him when the blood is running down your bare legs and mixing with the rain. you're both soaked but your clothes are staining red where a mitachurl's axe caught you in the side. the blood is coming quick and heavy, there isn't time for kaeya to get you back to the city. this scene is familiar when you fall to your knees in the mud, hands holding at your side for pressure. suddenly, your hair is a bright shade of red. is kaeya about to stand and do nothing for a second time, when history is repeating himself right in front of his very own eyes? he swallows but it's difficult, rushing to your side. you're losing consciousness but your eyes are scanning his face. the sun kissed skin, the worn leather eyepatch and his messy blue ponytail that now looks like waterfalls cascading around his face. you smile at the thought. you should visit the waterfalls of mondstadt when the weather picks up so you can gawk at them. "baby?" it comes out of his mouth, barely audible above the rain, "say something - are you okay?" you almost throw back a playful retort but your vision is darkening around the edges and you're grasping to what sight you have left to look at kaeya. your vision blurs when tears threaten to spill - are you scared? you open your mouth to speak but nothing comes out. kaeya's gloved hands cup your face, pressing his forehead against yours. "stay with me, love, i can't lose you," kaeya's frantic and his words are jumbling when he panics, "we'll stop the bleeding and take you to sister barbara-" kaeya pauses when he notices you haven't blinked despite the rain falling onto your face when he pulls his forehead away. there's a distant look in your eyes, the light has faded and he can't feel the hot, struggled breaths you was taking against his skin anymore. a flurry of angered swears leave his lips and he's careful when he carries you bridal style to the dawn winery. it's the first place he thinks to take you, back to his brother who can't bear to see kaeya stood in the rain again with blood drenching his clothes from the long walk to the winery's front door.

© https-heizou 2023.

[mncxbe]

Come on, baby, don't you hurt me anymore

𝐀𝐤𝐢 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!.𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡𝒄𝒘: light angst, fluff?, itty bitty smut, one bed trope, smoking, mutual pining, spoilers for s1// inspired by an ask i got from my beloved 🐑 anon

"I can feel you plotting something" said Aki, his gaze fixed on a distant spot outside the hotel room window. It was snowing so much that the buildings on the opposite side of the street appeared only as a blurry contour– blocks of dark grey punctuated by neon signs. Aki's voice carried an edge of annoyance which you shrugged off, huffing.

"I'm not plotting anything" you chuckled, shifting away from under the heavy blanket. "Whatever..." he groaned in response "Just stop moving around I'm trying to sleep"

You were grateful he couldn't see you rolling your eyes at his words. He was impossible. It's been a few months since you first started crushing on your partner and now that Makima sent you two to Kyōto on business it was the perfect opportunity to make a move. You were forced to share a room, a bed.

As you laid next to him, you wondered what would be the best way to confess your feelings– a direct approach might've worked, but Aki was too sleepy to engage in any conversation. You sighed, your gaze musing on the snowflakes outside and then it hit you... the perfect opportunity to get Aki to talk to you. Sliding out of bed you made your way towards the window, prying it open.

Your movements alerted the man beside you who groaned angrily. "Where are you going?".

"Just getting some air, relax. It's not like I'm gonna run off or something" you retorted "You should come too"

"Like hell. It's freezing". You couldn't help but laugh at his comment– for someone who grew up in a mountainous area he sure hated winter. "Suit yourself, but you'll have to do without your cigarettes" you giggled, dangling his pack in front of him as you disappeared outside on the fire escape platform. You could hear your partner's groans of protest as he called out your name but you didn't respond.

With an annoyed sigh, Aki got out of bed and slipped on his shoes, following you outside. He found you at the leaning against the metal railing, holding the pack in front of him– daring him to come get it. He wasn't in the mood for this; it's been an exhausting day, packed with meetings with the higher ups and honestly all he wanted to do was sleep but you wouldn't give him a break.

Stepping closer to you, Aki reached for the cigarettes but you quickly pulled your hand away, hiding it behind your back. "Come and get them if you want them so much, Hayakawa" you taunted. The mischevious smirk that played on your lips only irked him more. "Can you not?" he hissed, closing the distance between you as he tried to grab a hold of the pack. He was basically hugging you, his body pressing you further against the icy railing."I'm not joking, y/n. give them back it's cold out here" he whined and you pursed your lips, cooing at him. "I didn't know the great Aki Hayakawa was scared of a little cold"

You could see the shift in his expressing, his lips pressing in a thin line as he yanked the pack from your hands. "You're no fun, Aki" you sighed, content that the man was back to his alert self. "Well, I'm not in the mood for this" he answered mindlessly, taking a cigarette out of his pack and lighting it. The flame glowed red against the grey night. You stepped closer to him, the crisp snow melted under your bare skin, burning the soles of your feet but the sensation felt oddly comforting– a distraction from the heavy tension between you and Aki. Raising on your tippy-toes you gave him a knowing smile "Then what are you in the mood for?"

Aki's cheeks dusted pink at your question. He wasn't stupid, he was aware of your feelings for him but he'll be damned if he was going to give you the satisfaction. His gaze moved up and down your body– from the lace trimmed tank top and cushy pajama pants to your bare feet and he scowled. How were you not freezeing?"Get back inside, idiot. I don't want you catching a cold."

"Didn't know you cared so much about my well-being" you purred, stepping on the vamps of his boots. Your actions took him by surprise and he instinctively wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against him. You were almost at the same level as him, so close he could see the fat snowflakes resting on your hair and lashes. God, you looked so pretty in the soft glow of the winter night. You seemed right out of an old pictures movie. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it, averting his gaze.

"What, Hayakawa, you nervous?" you taunted, your voice dripping with amusement. Hooking a finger under his chin, you brought your lips closer to his ear"Am I making you nervous?" The man shivered– your breath was hot against his skin, the closeness warming up his insides.

"No" he said plainly, still not facing you. He's never been a good liar and he knew he wouldn't be able to hide his true feelings if he were to look you in the eyes. Of course, you were aware of that, but you were dead set on making his composure crumble. Your lips ghosted over the shell of his ear before making their way lower, tracing soft kisses along the expanse of his neck. "You sure, Aki?" you giggled, relishing the way he tensed up under your touch. He smelt well; of tobacco and fresh cologne, making your whole body heat up in anticipation.

Your kisses raised goosebumps in their wake, causing the man to shudder. Still, he made no attempt to stop you- he knew it would've been pointless. Instead, he squeezed your hip tighter, ashing his cigarette. "You know it won't work, right? A relationship I mean"

"Why not?" you asked, nuzzling your head in the crook of his neck. You were perfectly modled in his embrace, as if you were made to fill his sharp, hollow edges with your soft curves. "Because it simply wouldn't work" he insisted, sighing. He didn't want to tell you that he only had at most two years left to live, that starting a relationship would be pointless since he wasn't going to watch it grow into something... more. So he simply remained silent.

As if reading his mind you pulled away from him, looking up to meet his eyes. "If it's about you dying soon, i know already" Aki raised a brow at your words and you shrugged, wrapping your arms around him "Denji told me" you clarified, watching the stern expression on his face melt into something softer.

"Look, Aki... do you really wanna go through life without living a little? Don't you want something more?"

Aki would've lied if he said that your words didn't take a toll on him. You were right, he wasn't allowing himself the comfort of normality– getting attached to you, caring. "I just don't want you to suffer. There's no point in you falling in love with me when I already have an expiration date"

You chuckled at his words, placing a soft kiss at the corner of his mouth. "Be a little selfish, Aki. It's your life, don't let it go to waste. Plus, i'm a big girl I can take care of myself."

"You clearly can't" he commented, gesturing at the way you were clinging to him. Aki brushed a frozen strand of hair away from your face, his thumb lingering on your cheek. "I like you too. i really do but... I don't think we should do this"

You looked up at him with those big doe eyes he so adored, blinking a few snowflakes away from your lashes "Okay, you don't think we should, but do you want to?" you asked in a soft voice that made him melt like a wax candle. "It's nothing wrong with letting yourself have the things you want. for once, think about what you want, not what you think is the right thing to do"

You were so goddamn adamant that you were making him give him, so stubborn– but also right. He never allowed himself the things he wanted most. Looking down at you his heart tightened in his chest; you were so beautifully present, so real and certain, unlike any other aspect in his life. He couldn't bring himself to say no to you. So maybe... just once he could have something good in his life.

Aki let out a low sigh. flicking the bud of his cigarette out on the street, he took a deep breath "And how would this work? Are we going to sneak around? You know Makima doesn't take relationships between colleagues too well" You hushed him, placing a finger on his lips "Don't worry about that, Aki. We'll figure out a way." you reassured him, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips and his heart skipped a beat. His arms tightened around you, squeezing you against him as his tongue slipped in your mouth, ripping a soft moan from you.

Aki's mind went blank, all his worries and doubts melting away as he held you close to him. You were far away from home, so he was going to make the most of the alone time you had together. You were right, he thought as he rushed back inside with you and slid under the puffy blanket, dragging you on top of him– you could figure things out. Give it a try at least. But for now he just wanted to give in, to spill all his want in you. So for once, he didn't hesitate when you kissed him, dipping his hand lower down your body to touch you where you needed him most. you hastly unclasped his belt, the sound of metal piercing through the silence of your room and he groaned at your touch, pulling you closer against him. Any trace of uncertainty was gone the moment you sunk low on him, moaning softly into the needy kiss you were sharing– he knew without a shred of doubt that this was right, you were good for him. And he wasn't planning to let you go.

[meownotgood]

aki gets you out of your head when you need it the most.

maybe that's why you've found yourself at his apartment more often these days. everything is so loud, but aki's balcony is quiet, it always has been. the city hums underneath you, separate from the world, lights shimmering in the dark. cool winter air brushes your skin. rain hits the roof and slides down until it's falling off in droplets fatter than normal.

he finds his pack of cigarettes in his pocket, taps the bottom and pulls two out: one for him, one for you. and you fall into your usual routine.

it's been a while. you didn't smoke until you met him, and recently you've felt like you're too tired to. when you're alone, anyways. you'd light one up just to remember the smell that was so distinctly his; you'd let it dangle in your fingers without taking a hit, the smoke would drift to the ceiling until it was done, and dark ashes would scatter on your bed sheets. nowadays though, you cling to this. you look forward to this repeating moment like you need it to survive.

aki steps in beside you, handing you the cigarette. he fishes out his lighter, thumbs it, sets it aflame. he leans in then, palm cupped around to shield the flame, to keep the two of you hidden from everything but one another. the end of his cigarette presses to yours, and you fill the small space between you with smoke.

it tastes the same as you remember. ruin constricts in your chest, filling up your lungs, gnawing like you're starving. your knuckles clench, you grip the cigarette tight. and aki leans closer. he presses his shoulder to yours. so slight. so tender it hurts. your heart is an open wound.

you let your cigarette burn out and dry up. aki takes a slow inhale of his.

you're thinking too much, he says. I can always tell when you are. and he's right.

you answer, I know.

tears cling to your cheeks like the way the rain hugs the edge of the awning. aki reaches out, brushing them away with his finger. you can cry if you need to. don't hold it in.

I know. you're crying, now, speaking through sobs that make his heart break with each one, do you think everything will be okay?

I think so. and if it isn't, I'll face it with you.

one in the same, you'll face it all together.

even the worst of it?

his cigarette's done, and he stamps it out on the balcony railing before flicking it aside.

especially the worst.

you rub your eyes, your sobs now just a dull sniffle, and you stare down at the city view you've seen a million times, like it's still something interesting. aki is only looking at you. you're so much of himself, your love and your hurt and your soul bleeds into him, and he's never longed for anything simple but he thinks if he dusted the blood from his hands and the nicotine from his lungs, he'd enjoy sharing the dinner table with you.

aki taps on your shoulder. he points to a small patch of darkness in the distance, so far you're squinting to see, where the lights thin out and all you can make out are the shadows of telephone poles. he tells you from there, the view is much better; you can see the mountains, the stars. he'll take you there after the winter. once you've both gotten through it. you will, he knows already.

you're the one turning towards him this time. abruptly, you grab him by his shirt, you pull him in while aki closes his eyes, his arm around the small of your back.

and when you kiss him, his lips taste like smoke.

[madame-fear]

I've always had this headcanon where lucerys' young wife is a little taller than him😂 he'd get a little annoyed if someone (jace) teases him for being shorter than his wife but as they grow older together, luke gets a growth spurt and surpasses his young wife, eventually when he's in his late 20s he's about as big and burly as harwin strong was aahhhh ❤🥺😭 but he'd still have his kind look in his eyes, the type who would never hurt a fly, but is built like a mountain and can (and will) break some bones if anyone dares to hurt their loves

HSHSJJDJDDJ YESSS MY HEARTTT

I know he'd get totally teased for being a bit shorter than you. Mostly Jace would make fun of him, or ruffle his hair when Lucerys is standing by your side. Of course, seeing his reddened face at being humilliated by his brother in front of you never fails to make you giggle at him teasingly, and Hells, you'd even decide to tease him by yourself.

It's mere innocent fun, really. Just teasing him, and then you'd obviously place so many kisses on top of his head, and would fill him with so much love afterwards the little annoying moment.

With time, especially on his late teens, you'd suddenly realise that he... kind of towers you slightly, making you have to look up to talk to Luke, stare at him, and even tiptoe to kiss him. Obviously you'd notice that his body will also grow a bit big, making him seem less like a little skinny shy boy, and more like a full growing young man surpassing his wife's height. *sigh, heart eyes 🥰*

By the time he's on his late 20s, he will definitely be his father's resemblance. Another little Breakbones, big, tall, sturdy, and would definitely tease you back, still remembering how Jace and you used to tease him a little bit for being slightly shorter than you. Since you have to tiptoe to kiss him — struggling at times to do so because of his big boy size —, he'd lovingly take you on his arms and lift you from the ground playfully so you can place smooches all over his face, or would even throw you on his shoulder randomly jut for the mere fun of it.

Sweet boy would still be the same timid, quiet, loving babe he's always been. Complete sweetheart that treats everyone kindly and doesn't get in troubles. The perfect husband for you that would show you how much he deeply treasures you to no end, embracing you in tight cuddles.

But if you or someone he loves gets hurt? Oh no, he won't even flinch in making that person immediatly regret harming you or anyone else in any possible way. Would he take advantage of his height just to kick sone asses and break bones? Of fucking course he will. And even, people will slightly feel threatened by simply seeing how tall and sturdy he is.

But yes, his sweetness and lovely-ness would remain there forever, as always. 🥰 Though expect to be teased back by him if you ever tease him about having been slightly taller than him in your youth 🤭

♡ taglist : ♡

@jjamieberry@anemicroyalcore@countsmoon@tickle-euphoria@beeebo234@manuholland6@capellaadara@kyuupidwrites@tchatso@phantasyy @tasty-nutella @mstxdes @valeriecash @cookielovebooks-akie

[the12thnightproject]

Chapter 34: Turn the Page. An impatient Katsu discovers that Yoshimoto travels at his own pace - but maybe he has the correct idea?

Mitsuhide x OC; Hideyoshi x MC (Mai)

All Chapters Archived on Ao3 

Logline - With Mai, Hideyoshi, and Aki missing, Mitsuhide and Katsuko reluctantly team up. Disguised as a merchant and his concubine, can they outsmart the man known as the God of Deceit?

Travel with Yoshimoto? I could probably get anywhere faster and less conspicuously without an escort, but in spite of his ambivalent manner, his knowledge of the politics involved would be worth having. Not to mention there was always the possibility that Yoshimoto wouldn’t give up the location of Yoshiaki’s hideout unless I agreed to go with him. “Thank you.”

He cast a critical eye over my clothes. He didn’t visibily flinch at my ‘Katsu’ drag, but he was clearly unimpressed. “Dare I hope that you still have the clothing Mitsuhide provided?"

"No." I didn’t mention the turquoise yukata. That wasn’t what I imagined Yoshimoto meant. "I've abandoned the Kaya identity completely."

"Pity. It would be most believable to Yoshiaki if I brought along a concubine." He tapped his fingers on the table. "Stand up, if you will."

Wondering what he had in mind, I obeyed the polite request. Yoshimoto got to his feet as well, and stood next to me, "You'll travel as my page, although I'll have to procure a suitable outfit. My own clothes would be far too long for you."

Had it been Mitsuhide who made such a statement, I would have protested that I wasn't too small, it was he who was too tall, but Yoshimoto had a way of making everything seem like a compliment. He thought a moment longer then added, "I have a relative whose castle will be on our route. I imagine we might find something suitable there, for you will certainly need warmer outfits for the mountains. Her son’s clothes will likely fit you."

Right. If Yoshiaki was in mining country, as the context of Iekane’s letter suggested, it would be colder there. Maybe not as cold as the Togakushi area where I was from, but cold enough to need heavy outerwear. "Thank you. My winter gear is back at my master’s home."

When Aki had first disappeared, it had been the last of summer. I had never expected the search to take me into late autumn. And yet… here I was, following a path that hopefully would not be another dead end. That morbid thought reminded me that I needed to make arrangements for Hiko tonight too.

Yoshimoto reached out and tested the thickness of my kimono. "Perhaps we'll encounter traders on the route. They might have some pelts they are taking to the export merchants." Huh. That suggested it was really cold where we were going (or that Yoshimoto just wanted an excuse to go for shopping). He knelt at his writing desk and jotted down a few notes. "Do you also need a horse?"

"No. Mine is already stabled in town and she's a surefooted mountain pony." A bad tempered one, true, but we'd be more likely to see snow instead of rain, so hopefully she'd cope.

“Ah, you might be better situated in that regard than I am.” Yoshimoto folded up the letter, and set it aside. “I’ll have one of Shingen’s spies take this to my cousin tomorrow.”

Hm – I hadn’t realized that the Takeda spy network reached as far south as Sakai. But that did present a solution to one of my other problems. “Do you have easy access to the mitsumono then? Because Sho’s younger brother is in danger, and it would be a good idea to have someone watching over him.”

“How much danger?” He looked at me steadily, perhaps reassessing what he’d just gotten himself into.

“Life threatening.” While I didn’t think Iekane was currently in Sakai (because if he were, why would he send a message to de Sousa instead of just talking face to face) he probably had access to assassins.

Yoshomoto reopened the letter and scrawled a few more lines. “To be safe, I can have him taken to Kasugayama until he’s out of danger.” He muttered something about Kenshin needing a hobby.

“If you could make that happen, that’s probably the best possible solution.” Iekane would have to be crazy to attack Kasugayama. Kenshin’s reputation as a fighter was infamous.

“A good idea will waft through my mind on occasion.” He hesitated a moment, then added, “Very rare occasions.” Before I could dispute that, he continued. “Right then. Another good idea is that we should sleep. You shall take my bed.”

"I can't kick you out of your bed." I’d broken into his room – it would be impolite to also steal his bed. For that matter, I couldn't imagine him sleeping on the floor.

"If you're that concerned for my comfort, we could share." The look he gave me was enough to convince me that a) it would not be platonic, b) he was not teasing, and c) he expected me to turn him down anyway.

"I'm actually used to roughing it. Don't forget that before I was p-p-pretending to be Mitsuhide's concubine,” Let’s just ignore the fact that for one night, it had not exactly been a pretense. “I was delivering messages all over the country. My tent and bedroll are with my horse, and it’s not as if I wouldn’t be using those the next few nights anyway."

If Yoshimoto noticed my hesitation in describing my relationship to Mitshide, he was kind enough not to mention it. "Tent. Bedroll. No that won't do. There are enough inns on the route to suit."

Ah. We were going glamping. Well, it was his money. The Imagawa were land poor, but Yoshimoto at least seemed to have unlimited wealth. I supposed that now I had liberated my, for want of a better description, trust fund, from Francisco's desk, I could afford to stay at an inn as well.

But for this night, I pointed to his bed. "You, futon. Me, floor." Without giving him a chance to argue, I simply stretched out in the corner, using my pack as a pillow.

The lantern light was suddenly shadowed by his figure, standing over me. “I don’t care that you are used to, as you say, ‘roughing it.’ I will not be able to sleep if I know that you are on the floor. Take my bed please. I have other options.”

… I ended up sleeping in his bed. Yoshimoto found an accommodating tea maid (perhaps the same one as before) and spent the night elsewhere.

The following morning we were off, far later than I would have preferred, but Yoshimoto is not a morning person. In fact, by the time we had left the inn, taken care of half a dozen little tasks that Yoshimoto had insisted were important, it was long past dawn and I was already feeling impatient.

Luckily, getting in touch with one of Shingen’s spies took very little time – in fact as quickly as Yoshimoto made contact, one would think that she’d been watching for him. Or maybe even me, as it turned out that I knew her, for she was the kuinochi who had clued me in on the existence of the contraceptive tea. Sute, who didn’t appear to have a verbal ‘off’ button, had flitted around Yoshimoto, boldly flirting with him, before agreeing that bodyguarding a small boy to Kasugayama sounded like a fun new mission.

Her attention span seemed to jump from topic to topic so quickly that I was dizzy trying to keep up with her. “I love children, I would have a dozen of my own, but Chiyome thinks I would get bored with babies, so she reminds me to drink the – oh, Katsu, are you still drinking the tea?” She twined her arms around Yoshimoto for a moment. “You will need to if you will be travelling with this one. His skin is so very soft, do you not agree?” Then before I could respond to that (although what, really could I say?) she suddenly changed moods completely. “If someone is trying to kill a small boy, don’t worry, I will gut him like a fish.” She gestured to the arsenal of weapons and tools she had with her.

To add reassurance, Yoshimoto nodded. “All of Shingen’s mitsumono are brutal in a fight if necessary. Shingen won’t send anyone out who can’t protect themselves and others. Let us retrieve this child now.” It was said with a slight impatience … as if I hadn’t been agitating to get this show on the road hours ago.

I had a general idea where Hiko and his family lived, and well, Sho’s looks made it easy to track them all down. All I’d had to say was ‘green eyed beauty’ and her neighbors pointed me to their house.

Once Hiko had been guaranteed that his mother and sisters would be taken care of in a safe house arranged by Yoshimoto, he treated the idea of traveling to Kasugayama as a great adventure. In fact the biggest resistence to the plan came from Sho. Though she didn’t blink at my transformation from Kaya to Katsu, the news that Hiko was in danger was another issue altogether. In a show of defiance, my former maid not only refused to go with her mother and sisters to the safe haven, but also insisted upon accompanying her brother as an additional bodyguard. “I’m not helpless. And you’ll need another pair of eyes to keep watch on him. Hiko gets into everything.”

Sute had given her a long measuring look, then surprisingly agreed to another travelling companion.

In fact, Sute and Sho seemed to take an instant liking to each other, and as they got on the road, I could hear them chattering about everything under the sun.

Finally, Yoshimoto and I were able to leave Sakai too. I was happy to have the city in my so called rearview mirror. Moonlight also was glad to be on the road, especially after being stuck in a stable for weeks. I felt the same. Playing house, so to speak, with Mitsuhide would always have been a chore for me because I just didn’t like being inside. Getting back on the road was such a blessed relief....

And maybe if you keep telling yourself that, you will eventually come to believe it.

The only person who didn’t seem relieved to leave the city was Yoshimoto himself. With a figurative dark cloud looming over his head, his frown and drooping posture suggested some private misery. I suspected it had to do with his rebellious vassals, but I hesitated to question him because I didn’t want to make matters worse.

Thankfully, once we were well out of town, and the humid sea air gave way to a cooler crisp weather, he shook himself out of the mood and began peppering me with questions about the future, or, more specifically about the art and culture of the future. “You’ve never talked about this stuff with Sasuke?”

Yoshimoto’s shoulder lifted in a graceful shrug. “I have tried sometimes, but it was clear that his tastes and mine do not converge and I find it frustrating to hear about adventure stories when I prefer to learn about theater, art and dance.”

“Um, you’re probably going to find my conversation just as bothersome then.” Sports were always my interest, and I knew nothing about painting or sculpture.

He turned a dazzling smile to me. “Not at all. Conversation with a lovely young woman is never a bother.” Whoa. I had forgotten that Yoshimoto could turn on the charm when he wished to.

Huh. Hm. I didn’t want to disappoint him after that, so after thinking for a moment, I decided I could manage to speak somewhat authoritatively about film. I took him through the plots of Ran and Throne of Blood, giving him a brief run down of Kurosawa which then detoured to Shakespeare (at least what I could recall of both – which wasn’t a lot in regard to Shakespeare, given my habit of skipping school). And then I remembered that Ran had been inspired by Motonari, or at least the version of him from my own timeline, which made everything weird for me all over again.

Over the past seven years, I had gotten used to living in the same era as the historical figures I had grown up learning about in school. I'd rarely encountered them though, so it had been easy to pretend that they were still characters in a film. Now, I'd just spent the bulk of autumn with Mitsuhide, taken part in a rescue of Hideyoshi, and was travelling with Yoshimoto. I was feeling a bit of surrealistic alienation.

"Katsuko, what happened next?" I realized that Yoshimoto was waiting for me to continue telling him the plot of Ran. "How do they get all of these battles on the stage? Or are your theaters bigger?"

Whoops, I had skipped over the technology involved, "It's not live, we have a different, or well another medium to stage visual stories." As best I could, I tried to explain how movies were made, and how they were available to be viewed at the push of a button.

He got very quiet for a while before saying, "I can't decide if the idea of holding a play in the palm of my hand whenever I want is wonderful or terrible. I'm afraid it would make it all less special."

Hm. He had a point, I supposed. "I've never known any other way. We still have live theater, and dance. It didn’t go away. It's just... really expensive. At least with streaming, more people can enjoy it. Even in my time, people with unlimited funds are the exception, not the rule."

He turned to look at me, and there was pity in that glance. "Is that how you grew up? Were you poor?"

Yoshimoto might consider it so, but he was coming from a life where he’d at least monetarily had everything he wanted and never had to make decisions about whether or not he could afford something. “No. We always had enough to eat, shelter, warm clothes. Just not much extra."

I'd worked in a coffee shop for three years to save up for my snowboard. I didn’t really want to explain further. Though Yoshimoto (when he was in the mood) was an interesting conversationalist, talking about my childhood wasn't something I enjoyed doing, and he didn’t have Mitsuhide's ability to take with facts I gave him and accurately understand the conflicting emotions attached to them. So instead of revealing more of myself, I diverted Yoshimoto's attention back to the movies.

Unfortunately Yoshimoto proved to be distractible in every area of his life, and rather than making good time and traveling directly to our destination, he would often stop, even in the smallest villages, and visit with craftsmen and artisans.

I found it frustrating, and, I’m sure the hulking spy (Mitsuhide’s man – I recognized him from Sakai), who had been patiently following us for several days felt the same. When we stopped to visit what seemed like the tenth artisan in three days, I finally had to protest. “It seems like we’re not making very good time. I could have gotten there already.”

"Would you have pushed yourself and your horse to exhaustion?” Yoshimoto held a ceramic bowl up to the light. It was so shiny, his reflection was visible in it. “By traveling in this manner, you can go faster in short bursts. I would wager we're covering nearly the same territory in the amount of time it would take you to travel the other way. And this way, we learn whether or not Yoshiaki is massing an army because these villagers take note of everything."

Hm. Ok. He was right… and I should have thought of that myself. In my impatience over our lack of speed, I'd stopped paying attention to Yoshimoto’s conversations with the innkeepers and artisans. My bad. "Is he?"

"Not as of yet. I believe he's still in the process of getting promises of support from anti-Oda clans. Small ones." Yoshimoto reluctantly gave the bowl back to the artisan. It was too big to take with us (not that it had stopped his other purchases). "With winter setting in, he'll wait to attack in spring. No one wants to march an army through the mountains in a blizzard."

He turned back to the artisan and purchased the bowl anyway. "I can gift it to my cousin. We're almost to their castle."

Yoshimoto apparently had relatives all over Japan although the exact lines of ancestry I was never clear on. This particular cousin Ohana was married to a daimyo who was currently an ally of Kenshin, or at least that was the apparent relationship. It didn’t seem like much of a connection, especially not when we were basically dropping by with very little warning.

However, when we arrived at a small castle in Takayama, Ohana's husband Susumu welcomed us warmly. Then he immediately bore Yoshimoto off for a long war conversation, leaving Ohana to outfit me with clothing belonging to her youngest son. Besides a warm fur cloak, there were kimonos and hakamas in rich heat-absorbent shades of blue and black. I felt terrible taking her kid's wardrobe, but she waved off my protests.

"In truth, if Genmaro is anything like his father and brothers, I expect he will be half a head taller and more before the new year. And with no other children behind him, I would have sent these on to another cousin anyway." She threw a sturdy dark wine colored kimono on the pile.

I supposed that due to the fact I needed to look the part of an Imagawa page, it was in a sense a uniform. Armor. At least it was physical armor. It seemed that I would need some mental armor as well - both Ohana and Susumu had reacted with identical expressions of horror when Yoshimoto said he was planning to visit Yoshiaki. I imagined that a large portion the conversation between Susumu and Yoshimoto included the Sengoku versions of the expression, ‘are you nuts?’

Yeah, Yoshiaki was beginning to sound like the monster under the bed.

I half expected Yoshimoto’s cousins to lock him in a room and perform an intervention, but all that they managed to do was convince him to spend the night with them, so that we would be awake and alert when we arrived at Yoshiaki’s hideout. We would take with us not only warmer clothing, but also a couple additional servants, as both Yoshimoto and Susumu agreed that in the case of the Shogun, “more is more.”

And ‘more is more’ as in this is beginning to feel like more and more of serious production. As in, if you screw this up, it is more and more likely that you and Yoshimoto will die. It was at that moment that I realized I didn’t actually know what a page did. It was not in my repertoire of disguises, so as we were preparing for the visit, I asked, "Do you have any particular instructions? I've never been a page before."

This request was at least partially prompted by my worry for his mental state. He hadn’t slept at all the night before, for every time I woke up, I saw him standing by the window, staring out at the moon. Indeed, that was where he was when I got up. The moon had set, but Yoshimoto was clinging to that window as if it were a portal to another land. If the wormhole were to appear, I suspect he would leap right into it, not caring about where it led (him, I should at least warn him about the dinosaur possibility). I tried again to get his attention. “Yoshimoto? What does your page do? Carry your luggage?”

With an attitude of reluctance, Yoshimoto finally turned his attention to me. "Stand behind me, in my shadow if possible, bow as low as you can manage, and keep facing down. Don't look at him."

Well, that's ominous. "And if, when I find Iekane?" Accusing the man in front of the Shogun would apparently be an enormous breach of protocol. Probably even considered treason.

"Do you think he will recognize you?" He set out little ceramic pots of make-up… hopefully not for me.

"Well... probably, yes. He knew me as both housemaid Kaya and courier Katsu, so whichever way I’m dressed, he’ll be familiar." Plus, he had, I was sure now, been in Sakai right before my accident, so he'd seen me recently.

He was quiet a moment. "Bow to the floor as soon as you enter, and don't rise unless I give you a direct order. Yoshiaki will think it’s his due anyway."

He sounds like a real charmer. He and Iekane probably deserved each other. Hopefully the floor wouldn’t be too cold there at. Hm. “And what is the name of this place?”

“Genba.” Yoshimoto bit off the word as if it tasted terrible.

Genba.

It was the first I had heard of it. So why was I suddenly feeling claustrophobic while my mind presented me images of a labarinthine path, dark corridors, and the smell of poison? I knew I had never been there before. The word, the place name, totally unfamiliar.

But… something…?

Genba.

Note: "Genba" will sound familiar to anyone who's read "A Mitsunari Night's Dream" as most of the action took place there. Katsu is just getting a deja vu from that other timeline. But the people who live in this Genba aren't exactly the same characters who lived in that other timeline, so it's not necessary to have read Mitsunari's story ... you haven't missed any vital information.

@bestbryn @selenacosmic @mllorei @akitsuneswife @lyds323 @tele86

[talesfrommedinastation]

Author's Note: The Indigenous Future

 I would be remiss if I did not mention the indigenous elephant in the room within ‘Far Past the Ring’.

As you might have gathered, much of the background of both Medina Station and the three original characters are deep within First Nations/American Indian backgrounds*. 

(left to right: Dr. Sjael Drummer, Camina Drummer, and Dr. Tanke Drummer)

I have written both Sjael and Tanke Drummer as being of mixed Ojibwe descent through the Drummer side of their family, as is their cousin, canon Expanse character, Camina Drummer (Cara Gee, her actress, is Ojibwe First Nations, though whether or not Camina is in the show is not confirmed). Additionally, Timon Chapelle, Tanke’s husband, is of mixed-Metis descent as well. More about the land practices of Medina Station and the indigenous heritage it is drawn on can be read in my previous piece on the matter. 

While researching for this work, I dug into the local history of the land I live on, which, coincidentally, is the unceded land of the Anishinaabe people. I am a settler, but I take deep pride in the place that I reside. I find it a responsibility as a citizen of my country to do so. 

(The region of the various Anishinaabe peoples, taken from Wikipedia. The author is not going to directly tell you where they are personally located)

As you might have guessed, the Kind Man (a form that the Protomolecule has taken in order to communicate with both Omega and James Holden) uses the form of Tanke and Sjael’s deceased father, Dr. Aki Drummer. 

(Image: Dr. Aki Drummer, drawn by the author in a quick sketch)

Aki is a Belter man of Ojibwe descent, who, while his story is not fully explored in this piece, does recall and use his heritage to better understand the nature of the humans that he serves as a physician, and later on, the Protomolecule uses to better understand the humans creating contact with each other from across the stars. 

The Kind Man also tells Omega the story of the Legend of the Bluebonnet, which comes from the Comanche tribe of Texas, another American tribe who made the prairies of the United States their home for time immeasurable. The Kind Man mentions that, although he is not Comanche, he understands the story. The tale is a legend of a young girl’s sacrifice to save her prairie home and her people ... .the story that Omega will find herself repeating at the end of ‘Far Past the Ring’. 

(Image from 'The Legend of the Bluebonnet', by Tomie DiPaola. copyright Puffin Books)

The Kind Man also repeatedly uses a word in Ojibwe, one that, when I heard its meaning from James Vukelich (Ojibwe-Turtle Mountain) made me stop, write it down, and listen to his podcast episode again. I immediately knew this word would become a part of the story.  

(If you can, please give his work a listen. He is a wonderful speaker.) 

That word is Gidinawendimin, one word that means, ‘we are all related’. Vukelich goes into detail about how it is not only the people, but the animals, earth, water, all of life around us. And I could not help but think–”Holy hell, this is the thesis of the story.” 

So, why am I rambling on about all of this? 

Because indigeneity has its role in our future, and I tried my best to not only reflect that in this story, but because I staunchly believe in it as well. 

The Belters are the people who helped build the solar system in ‘The Expanse’. They worked and lived in space to the point where many of their bodies can not survive normal gravity. Throughout the series, they face issues regarding access to water, air, and so many things that we often take for granted. They are seen as less than human in their own native environment of the Belt, and are often discriminated against by citizens of planets like Earth and Mars. 

Additionally, in the Star Wars universe, the clones are copies of a man from Mandalore, portrayed by an indigenous actor, and whether or not their indigeneity is canon in the show, I prefer to see it as such.

I want to be under the impression that, like in the real world, the dehumanization of indigenous peoples has irreparable damage to culture and heritage, to say nothing of the social bonds between people. 

This is known as intergenerational trauma, and is explained beautifully here in a video from Australia. 

Fiction can be a powerful metaphor. In this case, this trauma rings through the clones within the Star Wars universe, and if they survive into greater society, will be a burden that their people will carry. Their descendants. The clones were people bred to serve one purpose, that of violence and war, and expected to be expendable machines, not as humans. They were stripped of culture, family, and heritage, and find themselves broken and lost when their use to the government is no longer sustainable.

It also isn’t lost on me that another character played by an indigenous actress–the incomparable Bobbie Draper, played by Samoan-Kiwi actress Frankie Adams–suffers a similar fate in The Expanse. She’s used by her government and tossed aside. But Draper rallies, finds camaraderie in others, and is able to be part of a team that saves the universe.

She, like some survivors of systematic abuse, is able to help others navigate through the challenges of finding oneself again thanks to her own experiences. This is especially seen in her friendship with Hunter in Far Past the Ring, whose own trauma comes out in painful paranoia, anxiety, and rage that almost destroys everything he loves. 

When common grounds are found, and alliances are made, a powerful voice of continuity and fortitude can be forged. With that, challenges, enemies can be fought, battled, and won. With friendship and the strength of rebuilding and reconnecting with culture–and respecting those of indigenous people–we can move forward. 

We are all related. 

I wrote all of this on the eve of September 30th, the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation in Canada, the country that brought us The Expanse.

(Taken from National Day for Truth and Reconciliation and Orange Shirt Day - Waterloo Region District School Board (Waterloo Region District School Board)

This day is to commemorate the thousands of children of indigenous heritage who were taken from their homes, stripped of their culture and heritage. Many of them never came back to their families and homes. Thousands died.

It is only in recent history that this is acknowledged. 

Similar instances also occurred in the United States, Australia, and countless other nations where indigenous people and their cultures were seen as an alien threat. They were not seen as fellow men, but as a part of the land that needed to be eradicated, controlled, and wiped out.

But survival happened. Still happens.

I hope that is reflected here, in a fictional story about the future…where the descendants of indigenous people use their skills and culture to push their people forward in our solar system.

Who forge friendships and alliances, who work to heal their trauma with the strength of their fellow man.

Who work together to stop a terrible empire from destroying their home. 

I am a settler in the United States on the shores of Michigami, but I am a firm believer that the future of humanity lies within indigeneity. We will not reach the stars without it. 

I have humbly done my best to reflect that in this story.

Miigwich. 

More information can be found here:

National Day of Truth and Reconciliation: https://www.canada.ca/en/canadian-heritage/campaigns/national-day-truth-reconciliation.html

James Vukelich’s website: https://www.jamesvukelich.com/ 

Ojibwe Rosetta Stone: https://www.culture.aanji.org/language/ojibwe-rosetta-stone/ 

*=I use both terms here, as the Ojibwe/Anishinaabe people, as well as the Metis, are located in both the United States and Canada. Cara Gee herself is Canadian.

[eleemosynecdoche]

"Can you straddle the line between being a youkai and being a human in Touhou?"

Sure. Does make you extra delicious for youkai, does make it harder for you to live anything close to a typical human life in the modern world, but I'm sure you can *exist* in that condition, probably for a long period of time if your surrounding environment is amenable.

"Well then, why doesn't Kasen-"

Because Kasen doesn't actually try to live like a human and doesn't act like a human. She has a fetishized understanding of humanity, one which transmutes her youkai-as-predator-of-humans status into her seeking to become more human than any human, superior to them. She wants to be an oni that nobody can ever throw roasted soybeans at. The definite humans we see interact with her in Wild and Horned Hermit are aware that she's not like them in some deep way.

This is also relevant to what "youkai" means in the context of Touhou, because while I think it's easy to be on that straddling line, we don't have characters who return to being human, even as a rumor. Something about surviving as a youkai means that people don't want to go back and try to be human again. It's somehow... liberating to them.

This is also not the case with another duality in Touhou, youkai and god. Indeed, three of Mountain of Faith's bosses are entirely about this duality being compatibilist. Hina's whole boss conversations are about whether she's a god or a youkai; she's clearly both, but would rather be seen as a god by humans. (Because she's small fry as far as youkai go, but as a god, she's hooked into an annual festival where she's minor but important. Her existence is much more stable as a god!)

Nitori and Aya (and Momiji by extension) are simply both and comfortable with it. Tengu and kappa are (perceived as) divine as groups, but (perceived as) youkai as individuals. People can approach them as gods, beings that can switch from angry to helpful at the drop of a hat, but can be appeased, as an anonymous group, while fearing meeting an individual kappa on the road or worrying that their house is shaking in a strong wind because a tengu is flapping her wings, ready to spirit them all away when the walls collapse.

(The Aki sisters, I would argue, straddle the line between gods and fairies. But that's another post entirely.)

Anyways, Touhou metaphysics are, as the refined girlthings keep saying, tied up in the themes and symbols used in Touhou as a work of art made up of multiple works of art. What it means to be a youkai, a god, or a fairy- and especially what it means to be a human- is tied up in that.

[rutilation]

Chapter 72 of Chainsaw Man takes place in a metaphorical (literal?) time warp. Click below for further details.

This all started when I asked myself: “Wait, why is it snowing in September?”

During my initial read-through of Chainsaw Man, I paid no attention to dates, or calendars, or anything of the sort. There were, after all, so many other elements of the story demanding my attention, such as chainsaws, and men. But, as I mulled over what I had just read, I developed a vague impression that the story must have started sometime in the summer, and ended during the winter.  After chapter 119 was published, I observed some discussion about the calendar in Denji’s apartment, and how it matched March of ’98.  This made me curious enough to look into the story’s timeline.  Imagine my surprise when I learned that one of the very few concrete dates provided was the Gun Devil being summoned on September 12th.  

“That can’t be right,” I thought.  “It was snowing.”  

While the sub-tropical heat of Tokyo is foreign to me, I live in a climate region very similar to that of Hokkaido, and know from lived experience that September is just diet-August.  There’s no way it would be snowing there so early in the year, right?  Sometime later, I was bored enough to look up when snowfall in Hokkaido starts—mid-to-late-November in the low-lying regions, and mid-October in the mountains.  Careful to take into account the succession of 20 years’ worth of global warming, I even looked for Hokkaido weather forecasts from 1997, and indeed, there was no snow there in September.  I concluded that Fujimoto simply doesn’t grasp the subtleties of winter past a certain latitude, and gave the matter no further thought.

But, Aki enjoyer that I am, I found myself rereading chapter 72 several times. When I wasn’t wallowing in the tragedy of it all, I was marveling at this farce of unseasonable snowfall. Does this guy think Hokkaido is in the Arctic Circle?  Does he think snowy regions are too cold to have spring and fall?  Because that little niggling annoyance kept scratching at the back of my mind, I at last noticed the calendar prominently featured in this chapter.  Idly, I decided to pull up a list of calendars from 1997 to see which month it matched.  (For those who already know where this line of inquiry will end, hold that thought for now, this rabbit hole goes deeper than you might realize.)

June.  The only month from 1997 which matches this calendar is June.  Fujimoto is reticent to be pinned down by a specific timeline, but it’s June.  Aki’s going to die in a few short days on September 12th, but it’s June.  There’s a snowstorm outside, and you can hardly see out the window, but it’s June.  It’s June, and it shouldn’t be snowing in September either.  Oh boy, when I tell you my mind started racing…

Obviously, there had to be a normal, diegetic explanation for this. Perhaps this place was a little shabby, and the inn’s proprietor simply hadn’t bothered with updating the calendars in the rooms.  The fact that I hadn’t heard any mention of this before, even when I specifically looked into the series’ timeline, meant that there were probably no bizarre time warps going on.  Regardless, I cared much more about the reason for including this odd calendar in the first place, than I did the justification for why it was there.  

The choice to accent Aki’s epiphany with impossible weather for an impossible date evoked, in my view, a sense that this moment had become unmoored from time, emotionally, if not necessarily literally.  The bond between these three reaches its peak right before they’re torn away from each other in the most traumatic way possible.  It was as if the torque from these two opposing forces had dilated the time surrounding this moment-in-between.  Tomorrow, they’ll return to Tokyo, where the weather makes sense, and time follows its proper, entropic course.  But for now, they’re nestled together in a place where tomorrow doesn’t exist at all, where there is nothing beyond this singular moment of togetherness, preserved outside of time forever.  I got goosebumps just thinking about it.

I glanced back at the calendar in chapter 119 just because I still couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing, and it did indeed match March of ‘98.  Fujimoto wasn’t just… randomly drawing calendars without reading them, or something.  But, I quickly noticed another strange element: both of these calendars looked the same.  They both featured months whose beginnings perfectly lined up with the start of the week—that is to say, the 1st lands on a Sunday—and isn’t that an interesting coincidence.  So interesting, in fact, that I suspected it was on purpose.  As I clicked around looking for more instances of this, I discovered that, after March of ’98, the next occurrence of a neat, symmetrical month was August of ’99—one month after the purported apocalypse.  So, not only did chapter 72 take place during some sort of liminal snowy Junetember, it also, subtextually, took place one month after the end of the world.

I was so ready to go ballistic over this.  How would I approach writing my meta?  I was debating how best to deploy references to Picnic at Hanging Rock and the Lothlórien section of Lord of the Rings, when it occurred to me that, perhaps, I ought to look for additional information regarding these mysterious calendars.  What other ways did people interpret them?  This is all so in-your-face that there must have been many vibrant discussions—

The calendars in Chainsaw Man all begin with Monday.  Way back in chapter 13, there’s a calendar shown in Aki’s flashback, one which clearly labels the days of the week, and it starts on Monday.  Apparently, some boomer calendars in Japan were once designed like this in order to center the workweek, or some such thing, and their use here was probably for the purpose of dating Chainsaw Man as a period piece.  Anyway, the calendar from chapter 72 thus matches up with September of ‘97. As for the calendar from chapter 119, March of ’99 begins on a Monday, so both Marches would look the same depending on the formatting.  Considering Chainsaw Man’s usual clipped pace, it’d be reasonable to assume the story is currently in 1999, giving more urgency to the apocalypse’s ticking clock.

When I tell you I was despondent…  With one google search, with mere glances at a few Reddit threads, all these cool, organic connections I’d made in my brain, connections that had greatly enhanced my enjoyment of my favorite arc of the story, imploded into a sad pile of detritus. I still thought it was odd that it was snowing in September.  I still thought it was odd that the calendar from chapter 119 could be from either ’98 or ’99.  I still thought it was odd that two of the three calendars depicted lined up perfectly with the start of the week.  But, I felt there was no longer substantial indication of intent behind any of it.  I resigned myself to my initial understanding that Fujimoto simply doesn’t know how snow works, shot my pet theory out behind the woodshed, and tried to put the whole thing out of my mind.

But then, about two weeks ago, I saw some people talking about the Aquarium Arc, and how the first chapter set in that location was published on December 6th, which was the same as the date on the fanciful, alternate-universe photo which served as the cover page for chapter 79.  I’d heard that piece of trivia before, but it had passed through one ear and out the other—nothing but a neat little party trick that Fujimoto had concocted to add a little flourish to that stretch of the story, as far as I was concerned.  This time, though, it gave me pause.

“That’s weird.”  I thought. “Weren’t they wearing shorts in that photo?  Wasn’t Power wearing a tank top?  In December? Even for Japan, that doesn’t seem quite right.”  At this point, a sense of Déjà vu was creeping up on me.  I pulled up the cover page…

Just as I recalled, their outfits did not suit December at all.  But, more importantly, my impossible June had clambered out from behind the woodshed, and slapped me across the face.  A quick google search confirmed that Japan orders its dates the same as we primitive Americans—month first, day second.  It was right there in front of me all along: my meditations on a calendar that made no sense, what that might represent, the unseasonable June that was somehow also midwinter, and our found family in a timeless world that couldn’t be.  Power’s even wearing the damn hairclip.  With shaky hands, I looked back at my list of calendars from 1997: December also started on a Monday that year.  September, June, and December are all directly invoked by the narrative in this web of symbolism, and they all potentially matched the calendar in the inn room.

I’m kicking myself for not noticing this earlier, but take a close look at the flowers on Chapter 72’s calendar.  While I’m not enough of a botanist to say with total certainty, it seems to me that these are hydrangeas—they’re all bunched together, and have serrated leaves.  I’ll get into the hanakotoba meanings in just a moment, but I think what’s really crucial here is when they bloom: the cultivars native to Japan typically bloom during the rainy season from early June to mid-July, and viewing the blossoms is considered a traditional early-summer activity. If you’ve engaged with enough Japanese media, you’ll notice it’s more often than not quite keyed in on flower symbolism, especially as it pertains to the changing of seasons.  Putting Hydrangeas on a September calendar would be just as ostentatiously atemporal as the chapter 79 illustration being dated to June.  Once again, I was gobsmacked.  I was morbing.  I was seeing shrimp colors.  Anyway, as for what they symbolize in Japan: on the one hand, fickleness and impermanence, due to their blooming period depending on the vicissitudes of annual rainfall, and how they change color with slight variations in the soil.  On the other hand, the fact that the flowers grow clustered together is taken as a symbol of family bonds and harmony.  It doesn’t take much reflection to see how those different meanings apply to the Hayakawa family at this point in the story.

This whole time, the calendar from chapter 72 was a setup, and this photo, juxtaposed against Aki’s tragedy, was its cruel punchline.  It’s 9/12, and Aki is dying his worst death, dragging a chunk of Denji’s soul down into the grave with him.  It’s 6/12, and our leads, now childhood friends, are having the time of their life on a trip to the aquarium; within this far-off paradise, they pause to snap a photo.  It’s 12/6 in our world; Asa and Denji have entered an aquarium that never ends.  And, in a single moment untethered from time, as Denji, Aki, and Power huddle together against the encroaching snow, right before the other shoe drops, it’s all three at once.  Did you know that once the company arrived at Hanging Rock, their watches all stopped?  Did you know that after he’d gone and passed again into the outer world, still Frodo the wanderer from the Shire would walk there, upon the grass among elanor and niphredil in fair Lothlórien?  I then realized, just as 6/12 and 12/6 are mirrors of each other, so are 6/12 and 9/12. Y’know.  69.  Here, at the end of this rollercoaster, at the center of this matryoshka doll, Fujimoto was memeing on me with a 69 joke.  Holy shit.

It occurred to me that I’d missed some nuances by only looking at these dates in retrospect.  There was also the serialized presentation to consider.  Prior to chapter 75—which is prominently named after the date on which it takes place—the only orientation the reader would have been given is that November 18th, 1983 was thirteen years ago circa chapter 13.  So, from the perspective of a weekly reader, one would look at the calendar from chapter 72, and—while keeping in mind that the only other calendar thus far started on a Monday—assume that this takes place in December.  After all, the snow piling up outside is a lot more noticeable than a tiny photo of hydrangeas tucked in the corner of a panel.  The weather here doesn’t just heighten the surreality of the scene, it’s also there to deceive the reader.  Fujimoto is exonerated in my heart at last: he does know how snow works!  This element of trickery makes me wonder if there will be some sort of twist down the road involving the similarly-ambiguous March calendar.  I’m going to be watching that like a hawk.

I also started thinking about what separates these liminal time warp dates from the clearly-labeled ones.  Both of the Gun Devil’s appearances, as well as the impending apocalypse, were given concrete slots in the timeline during the moment of their presentation.  There’s no room to wonder about what month or year we’re actually in.  Calamities are etched in stone, their body counts carefully recorded down to the second.  In the space between those tragedies, however, the veil thins; time has a double meaning, and tries to trick you.  Without realizing, you might even briefly slip outside of it.  While half of you will return to meet your doom, the rest of you might grab your friends, run away to the aquarium at the end of the world, and never look back.  

(You might even call that aquarium endless.)

[sroloc--elbisivni]

(Another one from Whispering Forest :D This entire scene was breathtaking)

The woman in a grand kusode made of living scarlet maple leaves seated on a mountain as though it was the dais of her audience hall and looking out over the valley was an unfamiliar feature of the terrain. Her hair was swept around her like a wild wave and her face was smooth as a porcelain mask. Her name came to him like this was a dream.

“Aki-Onna-sama.”

“Miyamoto Usagi,” she said, still watching the valley. “You freed me once, when your life was at risk and you could have fled.”

Usagi searched his memory. “I’m sorry. I don’t recall this.”

“Mortals rarely do, and you were still a child then. But I owe you a debt. Witness.”

Send me up to 500 words from a fic and I will give you my director's commentary on it!

ahhhhhhhh aki-onna!!! okay i GOTTA get photos for this hang on--

these are the two actual looks we get at Aki-onna in the one Usagi Yojimbo story she appears in. (note baby usagi in the lower left of the right picture.) that's "Autumn." it was one of the first stories I read, because it's the fourth one in Volume One of the Usagi Yojimbo saga. I think this is about the point at which the switch in my brain got firmly flipped and i went 'oh i'm IN THIS in this.' it's still one of my favorites, and it's the first UY story i read that really went full speed ahead on 'this is a world of monsters and magic.' (there's an argument to be made that the whole thing is a hallucination usagi had but i think that's a boring explanation.) I knew from the beginning that this story was going to be leaning into autumn vibes, and i put together pretty quickly that if I was making it a theme she was the perfect character to incorporate. especially since this whole fic is my psyop to get people to read the comics.

originally I thought she'd be like....an information source, someone who provided a key detail to crack the whole thing open. she was supposed to show up between mikey getting attacked in the woods and the forest getting set on fire. at some point i realized she worked much better as part of the climax.

true story, before i wrote her into this and double checked my information, I genuinely thought Aki-Onna was an existing mythological personage Sakai had adapted into the comic. and then I tried to research her and every single english source i found just went straight back to the comics (it's possible that i'm talking out of my ass here and there's a mythology of an autumn lady that hasn't been translated to english that sakai picked up somewhere else.) there's the yuki-onna, a type of yokai like beautiful women who lead people to die in snowstorms, but autumn personified as a woman who can be imprisoned to stop the changing seasons...she's an original. i love her. she hasn't recurred since, and I don't think she ever will--I don't actually think canon Aki-Onna owes Usagi a debt. she's above and beyond him. it made for a convenient way to get her in the story, though, and an extra convenient way to see all the action of the climax. it was important to me that even though it's technically a deus ex machina, she herself is doing very little--she's holding back the rain until the moment where it will have the most impact, and she's letting Usagi see what he's brought about. every other character who has come up in this story has fought to get things to where they are. she's just stopping by.

i loved describing her, too, trying to convey this sense of OTHERWORLDLINESS that her image gives after you've gotten used to anthropomorphism. she gets compared to a force of nature and something inhuman, and is placed in an impossible setting. I picked that paragraph apart and put it back together several times to try and make sure the narration flowed because i wanted it to be all impact, nothing where the reader had to think about words. (fun research sidebar: this section is where i realized that 'kimono,' while a term in existence at the time, would not have been used to refer to most common formal garments--we get kusode instead. went back after this and edited leo being mean and hot scene accordingly.) in the same spirit of "she's just stopping by" and "everything about her needs to make an impact", she only has four lines in the entire story. which is! SOMETHING! when two of them are also the only exposition non-comics readers are going to get on her presence!!!!

i loved this scene for the imagery, and getting to draw into another part of the comics that meant a lot to me, and also for the way I got to make it the buy-in for the cutting between scene. it led into the scene that changed everything about the way I had been telling this story so far, and brought together everything--I had to do it in a way that made people want to come along with me. it's wonderful to hear you liked it!!!

[underscar]

AKI HAYAKAWA

SURE THING: *Female Reader

Summary: Midnight chatter happened mindlessly below your home. Open and shut lights from various effects flickered through your apartment's grand window opening. A night of just you and Aki. Weeks ago when Aki abruptly proposed to you, he sang the loveliest things to your ears. You never expected Aki to be one for marriage, you had accepted that long ago in your relationship. His proposal was so sudden, it was as if something forced him to abruptly decide to spend the rest of his life with you and switch his opinion on marriage. Besides that, though you had your troubles, this love was a sure thing.

DETERMINATION: *Female Reader

Summary: Visibly ghost-gray clouds scattered the mint-blue sky viciously, aimlessly. The poetic sky accompanied the three devil hunters on their journey to a familiar hospital. Once more, Himeno and Aki pay a visit to you, their mutual buddy who has yet again found yourself in the hospital. Despite the fact that everyone in the profession at some point gets themselves injured, they all jokingly claim you, specifically, have luck on your side. But now when you are close to the edge of death once more, Aki begins to suspect that you're deliberately attempting to die.

ANGEL DEVIL

ONE MOMENT IN TIME: *Female Reader

Summary: Winds fierce enough to burn a dragon in a pinch blasted the skies, the land, the ocean, and the mighty mountains. Dreamily the sky twinkled and winked, and had absorbed your lost, confused gaze. Your first memory in this life was this mountain, a mountain full of plant life and animal life all around you. How did you find yourself here? You constantly wondered. As you silently watched creatures, both plants and animals, survive and then die, time blurred. There was something fascinating about the cycle of life. Until one day, a distance away, you spotted a coastal village. You were concerned about what might happen if you were to wander away from the mountain that has been your home. Till a lost angel appeared.

BEAM

MISTRESS: *Female Reader

Summary: While in a state of nihility, you await the assignment of a buddy. Soon after your partner's departure, you’re given the info regarding your next partner. They wanted to try out this experiment, where devil hunters are paired with manageable fiends, on you because of your demonstrated dedication as a devil hunter. You didn’t object, there wasn’t much you could do but accept . Maybe it’ll make losing a partner easier, you thought. You were wrong, so wrong. Beam made things enjoyable and charmed you with his carefree manner. You broke the rules for him, with him, and more for the first time. Though life as a devil-hunter never had sappy-happy endings.

DENJI

REMEMBRANCE: *Female Reader

Summary: A flowerful breeze breached the pathway onto your over-studied heart, signing you off with a sense of stability. Melodic petals from irresolute trees stayed afloat from the sky and into your trail, trailing each step you tread. Spring had recently begun, which, for you, only meant more studying for the for the flowerful test season. The sun did its job at minimum wage, and the clouds spread and shifted as you continued your steps, walking down the street for a snack after vigorously studying at the library. You find an odd guy getting yelled at for dining and dashing, at your day-to-day food stand, only without the dashing part. You get a warm flush of memories when you see him. A sense of remembrance…for someone you have never met?

HIMENO

SHAMELESS: *Male Reader

Summary: Public safety devil hunters are walking hypocrites with morals all over the place like a messy puzzle. That's what they live up to as clichés and stereotypes. In spite of this, Himeno has only come across a few who stand out from this stereotype. You are one. You were the ideal man: married, sickly faithful, and ambition. And Himeno wanted a piece of that, and she typically gets what she wants. It was difficult to keep things on the down low when Himeno openly flirted at work, despite your efforts. You were ashamed of your actions at first, but as time went on, you began to realize and accept how crucial it was to have this affair while you still had the chance.

KISHIBE

SAMSONITE: *Female Reader

Summary: The foggy heavens above opened its wide gates to the opening of hell. Spreading grayish, decaying clouds throughout the sky…like a wicked plague. A dreadful sensation crawled up your spine, then somnolently down the entirety of your body, paralyzing your legs in stiff concrete. Life as a devil hunter was a rigid awakening, an incitement of the truth of the world. Showcasing a depraved reality. And your guide to this world, Kishibe, was an embodiment of what the career did to people; an unruly joke of a man. However, you both got along. Until he became the very devil he taught you to hunt.

LIQUOR AND COMPANY: *Female Reader

Summary: Warm, almost timid lighting for the eyes; an alluring smell of smoke for the nose; and finally, the welcoming taste of alcohol on each tongue. An old fashioned bar is where you found yourself, a shabby establishment you would say. You had only hoped that Kishibe hadn't stood you up again like he had done many times in the past, this was important to you. And time was not so limitless for you. To think of the devil means to resurrect them, and Kishibe was there for company, and you think you'll stay for one more drink for the night.

KOBENI HIGASHIYAMA

ESCAPISM: *Male Reader

Summary: In the midst of a lively park and bustling street, Kobeni found solace in the enduring glow of the streetlights. As the noises faded into the background, her focus shifted to the person by her side—you. While Kobeni's memories were mostly muted and melancholic, you always stood out vividly in each one, radiating with vibrant colors. After a demanding day as a devil-hunter, you both took a stroll, prompting nostalgic reflections. Despite being financially strained like Kobeni, you generously offered to treat her to some exquisite fried chicken to uplift her spirits, but she declined. Her sole desire was for things to remain unchanged between the two of you.

POWER

PRIMADONNA: *Female Reader

Summary: During a chance encounter at a farmers market, Power accuses you of being a witch due to your fashion style. Aki apologizes for Power's behavior and invites you to join them, and you happily accept. As you spend the day together, Aki and Denji go shopping while you accompany Power. You both decide to leave together and stumble upon an arcade. You guide Power through various games, teasing each other along the way. Aki and Denji eventually find you both working together, attempting to win a stuffed plush.

MAKIMA

THE SCULPTURE & THE SCULPTOR: *Female Reader

Summary: The sun was slowly setting on a brisk evening, casting a golden-orange glow over the bustling streets. The air was crisp and cool, signalling the beginning of autumn, and the leaves on the trees had started to turn shades of auburn. You met her that fall evening, and fell in love that October. Warm sunlight elapsed your memories and your love story with Makima and it all felt like a dream, until it erupted into a nightmare. The phrase "separating the artist from the art" is one that dates back long ago. Both the art and the artist can be seen as their own entities; yet, the artist has the control and power to destroy that oeuvre.

LAST UPDATED: 10/04/23

© UNDERSCAR 2023 - All rights are reserved to Underscar. Do not repost, copy, change/modify, plagiarize, translate or screenshot my work: this will also include not reposting my writing on other social media platforms and writing platforms.

[youkaigakkou-tl]

The Kyoto Arc Analysis Post (Part 2)

(Had to split this into multiple posts because image limit. This whole thing is meant to be read as one continuous thing)

This part covers the chapters in Arashiyama, and the scene where Seimei talks to Haruaki

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

Shatter

We get told that the soul pieces “flew in 5 directions, like a pentagram” but it’s not like a pentagram at all I mean look at this.

The Arashiyama location is fairly easy to pinpoint, even though it’s a mountain, since the bamboo grove is a very specific part of it and is a famous tourist attraction. Not gonna find where exactly in the bamboo grove this happens tho lmao

Speaking of Arashiyama, there’s a lot of updated pages in the volume release, so here’s some comparisons. Look at my meow meow!! Kitty!!!!

This is the heart sutra, a buddhist sutra originally in sanskrit. I was slightly considering transcribing the sanskrit here, but then I realised that was harder than just using the english translation.

Sensei is a genius for giving characters recognizable hands and fully utilizing it. I love how you can see Haruaki’s hand with the bracelet and instantly know it's him. I love how you can see this ring and instantly know “omg wifeguy”. (punches walls)

Also look at this updated page!! My favorite furries!! Also little soul-aki on Tamao’s shoulder!!

Can I just say. Sensei is INSANE and a GENIUS for this, to pose this question to the three who have an entire spinoff dedicated to them and their best friends. This is so evil. Diabolical. I love it.

Look at this updated panel. Rintarou and Haruaki are as important to him as his wife and kids. I’m going insane. (crying sobbing punching walls etc)

This is another one of those scenes that would have killed me if I didn’t phrase it just as well as the original. Good on Hatanaka-sensei for solving a trolley problem like it’s the easiest thing in the world. I think I would have chosen to kill the stranger to save my loved one. But also I don’t have loved ones who I would do that for so maybe I’ll just choose to kill the stranger for fun. Starting to realise I have the moral compass of Takahashi.

Also, the word for “thorn”, and sometimes also “rose”, is “ibara”.

Most Sane Yohaji Enjoyer

(We are now entering nonsense zone. Don't believe anything I say here.)

In case you didn't know/forgot, there seems to be some plot stuff going on with Hatanaka in the spinoff, and I have a crack theory that at some point in the future of the main story he's going to end up back in time to when Yamazaki and Takahashi were in school.

And you see. In the panel that Yamazaki brings this up. Hatanaka's arms are bandaged up.

And guess what happens in chapter 86. His arms are injured and he's hauled off to the hospital. Boom theory proven boom I'm a genius. (jk)

(Also want to show this sane comment on chapter 93: "What if Seimei is actually present day Haruaki who went back in time with all his knowledge now"

Can you Imagine. Insane idea, I want someone to write this fanfic.)

What the hell is up with this imagery

Anyway. Back to chapter 87. And also the inner color page for vol 13 since this seems to be the same place.

Easiest question: What are the pinwheels?

While pinwheels are associated with childhood in general, in Japan, they’re also associated with death, which is why you may see pinwheels on graves, especially children’s graves. This isn’t relevant really other than the death part.

The more interesting association is that in Buddhism, pinwheels also symbolise the cycle of reincarnation. (Notice how pinwheels kinda resemble the manji symbol) (Actually, maybe this is why pinwheels are associated with death in the first place? Nothing online points this out specifically but it seems like an obvious conclusion)

Also note the pinwheels on this vol 13 cover draft. (God I love this cover so much I love the final one too but oughhhh)

The hard question: Where is this?? The moon???

First thing I thought when I saw that scene and the color page was the moon, and also Tsukuyomi (god of the moon) -> Yomi -> ???

Also some stories say Tsukuyomi also rules over Yomi so -> ??? idk what the conclusion here is. word association

Saturn is also a multi layered word-association-pun-thing. The planets from Mercury to Saturn (excluding Earth) are named after the Gogyo (five elements) in Chinese and Japanese, Saturn specifically is named after “earth” (as in like dirt and ground not the planet we’re on).

The kanji for Yomi, 黄泉, is a loanword from the Chinese name for the underworld, and literally translates to “yellow springs”. However, elements in the Gogyo and their representative colors are often used interchangeably, so in this case “yellow” means “earth” since Yomi is thought to be underground.

So of all things, for Saturn to be on that color page makes a lot of sense. Of course, the simple answer is probably that Saturn looks cool as hell.

“Earth” is also the only element not represented in the four gods, since it’s thought to be central, and typically symbolises the emperor. But also, in this context, it being paired with Seimei… yeah this makes sense.

The hardest question: Why the big dipper?

There’s a number of obvious simple answers that jumps to mind: it’s easily recognizable, looks cool, it has spiritual importance in Taoism and by extension Onmyoudou, but I can’t figure out the specific association with Abe no Seimei, let alone why specifically it on this page.

And it does have a specific association to Abe no Seimei, it’s in the stepping stones leading up to the well in the Seimei shrine, and is sometimes featured in the center of his pentagram.

Perhaps this is just one of those things that “it’s just like that, stop asking questions”. Perhaps there’s a simple, straightforward answer in some corner of the internet that I haven’t found yet. You reading this! I implore you! Figure this out! As with all the other stuff I can’t figure out! I’ve given you all the pieces!

Just maybe, death of the author, I get to takeaway anything I want from this panel. The big dipper points to Polaris, and at the end of this scene Seimei points Haruaki to Sano. (????)

Actually, now that I look at it closely, maybe this is the little dipper??? Assuming it’s not a mistake, the handle is bent the wrong way! Then it’s the little dipper! That’s even more nothing! The little dipper isn’t even mentioned in japanese mythos! I need to stop thinking about this I’m going insane.

Anyway. Next page we get to see the name of this bridge. Only “modori-bashi” is written here, but this refers to the Ichijo Modoribashi bridge in Kyoto, first built in the Heian era and has a variety of stories associated with it, as well as specific stories pertaining to Abe no Seimei. The physical bridge itself has been rebuilt in the modern age and is just down the road from the Seimei shrine, but a miniature replica has been built in the shrine itself using the original materials.

“Modoribashi” means “return bridge”, and was used in funeral processions, and has come to be associated with a variety of meanings of “return”, including “return from the afterlife”.

What’s up with this guy’s soul?

First of all, a translation note.

In the raws, Seimei doesn’t say specifically “your” soul here, since japanese can work without possessive nouns, but there wasn’t a good way to phrase that in english without sounding weird.

With that out of the way, what is up with his soul????

Recap for the last time we saw his soul in Miki arc:

It was inanimate until a while after Mikimom ate it, at which point it was Seimei. Same with the flashback when Haruaki was a kid. At no point did the soul actually act like Haruaki. If Seimei could just do that why didn’t he do it from the start? idk

(real reason: it’s so we get to see Haruaki’s hot lifeless body. This is something I realised chatting w my friend: the way to get Haruaki to look hot is to get rid of his soul, get rid of everything that makes him Haruaki (fucked up thing to say lmao). Like, look at Ame and Seimei, they’re hot all the time)

But in this arc, all the split pieces are Haruaki, and at no point does Seimei take over his soul or anything like in Miki arc.

(Obviously this makes sense narratively, the point of this arc is that Haruaki is a different person from Seimei, especially after Byakko constantly calling it “Seimei’s soul”, but also what’s the practical reason?)

And now, the big question: How is Seimei in Yomi?

Every other time we’ve seen him makes sense (relatively):

Haruaki’s dream at the start of ch47, or maybe Seimei’s memories?

Manifesting from his/Haruaki’s soul in Miki arc

This scene in ch 82, while similar to the ch87 situation, this is actually a scene from the past so this gets a pass from me.

ch 88 to 90: Byakko’s recreation of the past. This makes sense, but it’s also weird in other ways, like how Seimei is able to see chibi soul-Haruaki. Remember, this isn’t even the actual Seimei, it’s Byakko recreating it. Unless this is what actually happened (Seimei turning to look at Haruaki)???? In which case he was able to see the future where Byakko is recreating the situation he was living through at that moment (????) This guy scares me

If you haven’t caught on to why the ch87 situation is weird to me, it’s because every other time we see him has been a memory or a manifestation of his soul, and this is neither.

For him to be in Yomi, his soul would have to be there or something like that, but clearly his soul is with Haruaki and is currently in pieces around Kyoto. So just what is this Seimei?

I have no doubts that this is Seimei, and that this isn’t Haruaki’s hallucination, for the sole fact that Seimei talks like he has agency to go wherever he wants. Funny enough, I think this is the most genuine we’ve seen him.

Just what is it that makes a person? Haruaki has Seimei’s soul, but is a different person. Obviously, because they’ve had different experiences in life, live in different time periods, etc. But even then, what is it? Is there something more intangible, more inscrutable than a soul?

And does this have to do also, with the idea proposed in the Haruaki student arc, that the true nature of a person isn’t so easily changed? What constitutes a soul?

Maybe one day I’ll have the answer.

The Principal

I’ve already picked apart this next scene in this ask, although that was written before ch93 dropped, I think it holds up pretty well. Take a second and read that if you want 👍

Hit the image limit again, so this continues in part 3.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

[inkblackorchid]

Hi, I've been a reader on your series on ao3 for a while and I love how you write. So I have to ask one question. Ancient fairy dragon, would she and her archetype smell like a forest or a mossy ruin? I know that Stardust is ozone and Black Wing is mountain air. Black Rose is obviously roses. Can't wait to see what you do next.

First of all, thank you! I'm very glad you enjoy my stories.

As for your question, I gather from what you wrote that you've gotten as far as the Aki/Crow duel I wrote. You might remember, in the same fic, a few chapters earlier, Aki muses about what the other signer dragons would smell like, too. And since I'm not sure when or if I'll ever get around to writing a scene where Aki summons Ancient Fairy (I'd like to, but my fic idea list is already very long), I may as well tell you this: Aki's assumption in that fic isn't far off. Thus, Ancient Fairy Dragon, if summoned by Aki, would smell something like the fresh, clean air you get when you stand by a riverbed in the woods, moss, and a hint of wisterias. Coming up with scents for the dragons is one of the sillier things I do in my fics, but I have a lot of fun doing it, and Ancient Fairy, despite not being relevant to any of my stories so far, gave me a pretty easy time coming up with a scent for her.

I hope that satisfies your curiosity! And thanks, I hope my fics keep bringing you joy. <3

[spoiledleaff]

@x-aki-tsuki-x hello again! :D it's just me, haha! the comment character limit drives me crazy as well, so i hope it's alright that i chose to just respond to you in an extra post! :) i just know that i'd be sending you way too many little responses in your comment section, haha! so, i hope you don't mind, but i ended up making a separate post! :D

oh! yeah, i can certainly see where the concern would be, especially considering that i see much the same thing, haha! i'm a little biased, though, as i am a smut writer, hehe. although, i think i mentioned this before when touching on your fetishization concerns in the tags? but, porn/smut is actually super popular on ao3, as well! i mean, in just the ghost fandom tag alone, the explicit fics alone are over double the amounts of mature fics! let alone any of the other ratings! of course, not all of these works are porn! some are merely heavy topics safely tagged, but a good portion is still... well, uh, spicy stuff! haha! again, i definitely can't speak for all trans smut writers, but for me at least, i write trans smut as a means to project and cope. :) i mentioned this earlier, but some of the reasons why i love writing and reading porn that focuses on trans characters is mostly for the interactions and relationships between trans characters and their respective partners! it's just kind of comforting to know that there are people, even if they are fictional, that can love and accept trans bodies for how they are :) it's comforting! and, i mean, hey, it's kinda fun too, haha!

absolutely! i mean, to me, that's the whole fun about fanfiction! :D especially with such a vague universe like ghost! i personally love writing the ghouls as a genderfluid species in general! so, honestly, it just depends on how they're feeling! or, in this case of content creation, what kind of body type or identity or dynamics i may be itching to write about or draw! personally, it's not just dew or copia! i love writing and drawing nonbinary zephyr, trans mountain, intersex mist, and even trans sunshine and genderqueer cirrus! :D i mean, that's the whole fun behind this sort of thing! and, hey, if you prefer to think of dewdrop as a cis man with a cock? that's totally fine! :D i certainly don't mind if an author or artists depicts him as either or, or even as intersex! there's always some fun for some gender-fuckery, haha! mhm, respectfully, i don't quite agree with you on the trans community in the ghost fandom demanding that he's only ever trans. but, perhaps i'm a little biased and i just don't see it :0 although, unrelated perhaps, but i do believe it's important, especially in terms of published fanfiction, for respective pronouns and anatomical terminology to be acknowledged and addressed before reading :) i know that trans porn isn't necessarily everyone's cup of tea, so i always try to acknowledge these sorts of things in summaries or author's notes :0 i don't think this sort of preference is transphobia? i think this is really just... well, having a preference! i think a lot of people tend to gravitate towards content that can relate to and vibe with! i know that i'm certainly not writing content for cishet people, so, to be honest, i don't expect a lot of cishet people to be included in my audience :) nothing against them! that's just not who my content is for, and i understand that :)

i agree :) maybe this is the people-pleaser side of me? haha! but i don't think there should be any arguing about a character's gender identity, haha! i mean, to me that's just such a silly thing to argue over! i mean, if you vibe and relate better to cisgendered ghouls? that's totally fine! i'll just be over here transgendering all the ghouls eight ways 'till sunday, haha! our preferences don't quite match? but that's okay! :) doesn't mean we can't be civil about our preferences, you know? :) oh! i also saw one of your comments bringing up the subject of why it's always copia or dew being represented as trans characters? i don't have, like, a definite answer for you! but, i think that one of the main-ish reasons is that both characters already seem to have pretty prominent identity crises? whether it be canon or fanon, i think those sort of conflicts really resonate with a lot of people! trans people especially, hehe :) but! trust me my friend, when i say i'm working on trans-ing the genders of everyone? ohoho, i'm working on it! >:)

oh, that's amazing, haha! my regards to your friend! :D he sounds like a riot, haha! i actually just wanted to take some time to address a couple of your previous comments on dew's mannerisms towards the crowd? as well as the connection of genitalia towards identity! :) i know a good amount of women, both cis and trans women, haha! who use that sort of wanking off gesture! whether it's a joke or an insult, it seems to be a favorite among some people i know, haha! additionally, there are plenty of ways for modern society to help people feel more comfortable with their bodies! there's ways to pack to help achieve a desired look and feeling! golly, there's so many options for packing or even for tucking, wow! so, again respectfully, i do have to disagree on that point! :) oh! another kinda personal thing, haha! i personally don't experience bottom dysphoria! :D or, at least, not enough to look into getting bottom surgery :) for now, at least, i'm totally content with living the rest of my life with only having completed top surgery, and still living my life with a vagina/traditionally female reproductive system :) however! i know that there are plenty of people who are very much interested in bottom surgery as part of their transition goals! but, damn, my friend!! that shit's expensive, haha!! :'D so, again, i do have to respectfully disagree with you on those fronts :) gender identity is so expansive and inclusive nowadays! :D it's amazing, haha! people can feel more comfortable with who they are, and there's so many different options for people to feel more comfortable in their bodies! :D when i was younger, i know that reading generalized trans fanfiction where men were still dealing with periods, or maybe just take a moment to have a bit of confidence in how their tits looks in that one shirt? haha! those sorts of fics really helped me out in some darker times, as silly as that might sound! but, again, i understand that that sort of subject matter isn't exactly relatable for everyone. ahh, i'm rambling again, haha! my point is that, personally, i plan to live my life as a man with a vagina! but, i don't think that makes me any less of a man :) just as trans women who can't afford to or simply don't wish to have bottom surgery are still beautiful and amazing women in their own right! :D everyone's ideal transition is different :) again, i'm kinda bringing back the reality vs fiction idea! we have a lot to thank the actors for who help bring the inspiration for the ghost fandom to light! but, as with all headcanons, who's to say really, haha! everyone can be cis until proven otherwise, or, in my case! everyone is trans until proven otherwise, haha! i think this case would be very much different if there was fanfiction about per or tobias or any other members of the cast being portrayed as trans or something similar along those lines? now, to me, that kind of 'inclusivity' or 'representation' or whatever you wish to call it is a bit icky... but, you are very right in that there isn't very much representation in a lot of forms of media :') but, that's why fanfiction exists, haha! we make our own representation where we find comfort and a sense of inclusivity in it :D

oh, no worries! :D i know the character count on those tumblr replies are ridiculous, haha! and, well, i had a bit of a feeling i'd be sending another essay, ahhhh... :'D haha! again, i hope this doesn't read like i'm attacking you or anything like that? i mean, you have your preferences and i have mine! they just happen to not quite match up :) and that's okay! as i've started before, everyone's different :D whether it's our gender identities, the kind of fanfiction we want to read or the kinds of characters we want to see portrayed! everyone has their different tastes :) again, i apologize for the massive essays i keep sending your way, haha! but, also again, i do hope this may provide a bit of insight on this subject :) although, this is also just the opinion of one little trans smut writer, haha! i highly recommend giving a listen to other genderqueer authors or content creators who may have their own sides to the story, so to speak, haha! i'm definitely a bit more... lenient? i think? with my own gender identity? as well as things like anatomical terminology! so, for instance, i use terminology like 'breasts', 'clitoris', 'vagina' (albeit, in much more... uhh, smuttier terms, haha!) when describing smut scenes? but, i also use terms like 'cock' or 'dick' when transmasc characters are referring to themselves. again! everyone's super different, and this is just how i write and communicate the gender identities of my personal trans characters :) but, again, and i can't stress this enough! everyone's journeys with their gender identity is so different! and i'm just one little lad in a garden of trans/genderqueer fanfic writers! :D

[minato-division03]

Reiaki Suzubayashi

“Rock bottom will teach you lessons that mountain tops never will.”

Profile

Reiaki Suzubayashi, a.k.a. Black Cat is a special effects artist and the second member of R.I.P Märchen.

She has participated in several films, television shows, and music videos. She also has over 3 million followers on social media and is known for her entertainment-based content involving gory special effects. 

Etymology

Reiaki means "beautiful, lovely" (麗) (rei) and "clear, crystal" (晶) (aki)

Suzubayashi means "bell" (鈴) (suzu) and "grove, woods, forest" (林) (hayashi)

Character Information

Kanji: 鈴林 麗晶

Romaji: Suzubayashi Reiaki

MC Name: Black Cat

Gender: female

Age: 24

Birthday: June 14

Star sign: Gemini

Blood type: B

Occupation: SFX artist

Division: Minato

Team: R.I.P Märchen

Height: 166 cm (5’5)

Weight: 47 kg (104 lb.)

Hair color: platinum blonde, sunset orange

Eye color: plum purple

V/A: Azusa Tadokoro

Rap voice: SeeA (Pink Fantasy)

Stage actor: Jennie Kim (Blackpink)

Appearance

Reiaki is a slim woman with cat-like plum-colored eyes and noticeably sharp canines. She has a straight fringe and shoulder-length platinum-blonde (dyed), where the tips of her hair are dyed a sunset-orange color. While the rest of her hair is sleek and straight, she styles her hair in a half ponytail that’s been lightly curled and has two tufts of hair that frame her face and are also curled just slightly. Due to her tattoos and choice of attire, she tends to come across as intimidating.

As a worker in the beauty community, she wears mostly black. She dons a black distressed t-shirt dress cinched with a white industrial belt. On top, she wears an oversized denim jacket which loosely slips off her right shoulder. She completes her look with a black choker, a silver lock necklace, and black above-knee boots with a silver block heel. She sports multiple piercings: double lobes on both ears, lower helix on her right ear, upper helix on both ears, and a navel piercing.

She has a total of fifteen tattoos: a ghost above her right elbow, a devilish hand bound by rope on the side of her right elbow, a witch’s hat on her right bicep, dark forest of tall trees circling around her right wrist, a bubbling cauldron paired with a witch’s broom on her left bicep, a snake circling around a sword on her left hand, a scarecrow with a jack-o-lantern for a head on her left forearm, barbed wire formed into a heart on her right shoulder, a second larger ghost down her right hip, a cracked skull with feathered wings on her upper left thigh, a black cat donning a skeleton-like mask on her left ankle, a kneeling skeleton holding a mass of black feathers on her right shoulder blade, two skeleton hands holding onto either side of a wishbone, a jack-o-lantern face on her right middle finger, and a sword on her right middle finger. 

When away from cameras and the public, she wears a white cropped, sleeveless henley, paired with a beige oversized cardigan and grey sweatpants that she wears loosely on her hips.

Personality

Despite her tough appearance, Reiaki is portrayed as a kind, charismatic, and cheerful individual who is persistent and is always determined to help her friends or those she cares about. She understands them well and is willing to accept them for who they are, no matter what their flaws may be. She is also a person with a strong will and can be impulsive and bold.

Reiaki is a people-pleaser. She does her best to appeal to all people and always takes other's opinions into account. She is always prepared to go out of her way to help those who need it. She's quite the loudmouth, but if she knows her opinions are unwanted or people won't agree with her, she'll shut up.

 Abilities

Her rap ability, horror story, allows her to induce fear on her opponents. The more frightening her horror stories are, the stronger the impact on her opponents. In rap battles, her verses tell the tale of a short horror story.

Trivia

Reiaki has cross dominance (she writes with her right hand and does everything else with her left).

She likes cherries, piano, kickboxing, and ghost movies while she dislikes being alone and people who are controlling.

Her favorite food is spicy fried tofu while her least favorite foods are eggplants.

When Miku was an idol, Reiaki was her SFX artist for music videos.

She is fine with keeping secrets, but she’s terrible with surprises because she gets too excited and tends to blurt it out.

[the12thnightproject]

Epilogue: Sky Clad Promise -Shingen fulfills a promise that he made months ago in the cave.

Shingen x OC; Kenshin x MC (Mai)

Previous Chapter: Here

Logline - Disguised as a boy, Katsuko finds herself working for Shingen, but her dangerous masquerade becomes difficult to sustain when she falls for the man with a fatal secret.

The letter sat innocently on Shingen’s desk – all three of our names were written across it. For a moment, none of us made a move to open it, although I did pick it up and shake it. No telltale rattle of shogi tiles. I supposed that was a message in and of itself. “Did you see who delivered it?”

“Reddish hair, big ears,” Sasuke said. He took the packet and turned it over and back, then set it on the desk again. “I questioned him, but he was insistent that he didn’t have any additional knowledge.

“That’s Takauji. He probably doesn’t know where Aki is now, but he usually delivers through the San’ido circuit, that might be where Aki last was – or he may have picked up the message directly from the Mountain.” The latter was less likely as Shingen’s mitsumono had been pretty closely watching for him there. Also, Taka was the least naturally inquisitive of Aki’s messengers so it would have been useless to press him for more knowledge… a fact that Aki was well aware of.

Finally, Shingen took the initiative of unfolding the letter and reading it to all of us.

By this time, all three of you have realized that I spend a considerable amount of my life travelling between and amongst various timelines-

“Skipped the greeting.” Sasuke helped himself to some tea.

“Aki is only warm in small doses.” You’d think after seven years, though, he would have offered at least a ‘best regards’ to me, instead of what amounted to a generic, ‘to whom it may concern.’ Then again, who was I to complain – I’d been guilty of skipping a greeting often enough.

Lord Shingen, while I appreciate the amount of work you have done to create your mitsumono network, it is not the best use of resources to send them all after me.

“Noticed that, did he?” Shingen flexed his wrist in memory of the hours he and I had spent writing instructions to his spies.

I would not like to interrupt my work to have to fish one of them out of a timeline.

“That would be bad.” Sasuke settled down at the desk with his tea. “Although Sute would probably get a kick out of it.”

I took a moment to envision the chaos that Sute could cause in a timeline. “She might, but Sasuke Mach 2 might not.”

“Oh… I might.” Sasuke was typically blank faced, but Shingen shot him a look. Hm. There was something here I was missing. I’d have to get it out of Shingen later.

Katsuko, I apologize for not telling you that I knew you were from the future, and that I was a traveler as well. It was my belief that you would adjust faster and more easily that way. There was a rather specific task that I needed you to perform – and rest assured you have completed it. I was unsure when and how this situation would present in this timeline. Readying you for that was essential.

“Do you think it was related to…?” Sasuke inclined his head in Shingen’s direction.

“I am sitting right here.” Despite the sarcasm, Shingen gave Sasuke a look of affectionate patience.

I shook my head. “No. I think it must be the boy. Hikosane. I ran into Aki in Kasugayama a few weeks before you and Shingen went to the future, and he said something to the effect that I had done whatever it was he wanted me to do.”

“You never mentioned that to me.” Shingen flicked my forehead, but too gently to sting.

“I had other things on my mind.” I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it in any case, but I truly had forgotten.

This timeline has stabilized, and I am addressing this comment directly to Mr. Mikumo--

Sasuke tapped his chest. “He sounds so professor-like there.”

It would be best if you traveled to the future as infrequently as possible. I realize that forbidding such excursions would be futile, but please treat this as a serious request.

Sasuke shrugged. “So there goes Mai’s request that I make occasional chocolate runs.”

“She likely wouldn’t have needed to ask if someone hadn’t raided her stash.” I eyed Shingen and contemplated a forehead flick of my own.

He winked at me then gave me that wicked smile. “I thought it was for all of us.”

Sure you did.

Katsuko, while I wish I could say that you are released from any additional obligations to me, and I’m sure you would argue that these obligations are on my side, the future is fluid. If I call on you, it will be because the matter is urgent. There are circumstances unfolding which may affect multiple timelines. As the three of you are self-aware to the multiverse, you may be needed at some point.

“Well… that’s not ominous at all.” Although deep down… deep deep down… I was intrigued by the possibility of performing an interesting timeline mission – as long as Shingen was with me. But I would never willing go into a wormhole alone again.

Although you may not believe me, I truly wish for your happiness. Yamaoka Akihira

Shingen tossed the message back on his desk. “This… didn’t tell us anything we didn’t already know, or at least, suspect.”

“Likely why he wrote the letter instead of allowing us to question him in person.” There were a lot of things I wanted to know. I also wanted to go out to the archery course and shoot arrows at targets with Aki’s face on them.

“It sounded like he’s abandoned this timeline, doesn’t it?” Sasuke got up and began pacing, the way he did when he had the tendrils of a theory but nothing to grasp onto. “The question is whether or not there are other versions of Professor Yamaoka in the other timelines too, or if he has figured out how to avoid duplicating himself.”

“I know you want to locate him and question him further – and I do as well – however…” Shingen paused. I could see he was trying to figure out an easy way to tell me that he had other priorities. He was right. He did have more important things to do. If he put all of his resources and energy toward finding Aki, it could be at the expense of this timeline’s history.

“But there’s too much going on in the here and now – you’re right.” We’d just been talking about some of those priorities before Sasuke came in. “Use your mitsumono for the purpose that you built them. If they happen to run across Aki, then they can bring him in, but until then, I guess we have to let it go.”

Of course, I did intend to take a trip up to Aki’s manor at The Mountain and see if there was any useful information to be found there. Shingen might not love that idea, but I was sure I could talk him into it. I slanted a quick glance at him – and was rewarded with a suspicious stare. 

Alright… I could possibly talk him into it.

But for the moment – the mystery of Aki would have to keep; I was happy enough to live in the present.

The pre-dawn early Spring air had a bite of chill to it, but it felt invigorating as Shingen and I picked our way along a path behind the castle. Our feet were splashed with dew and wet blades of grass clung to my toes. The birds were just awakening, and their nesting songs serenaded our short hike.

Shingen had whispered me into wakefulness less than twenty minutes ago, and without allowing me to do more than throw on an extra robe, had taken me by the hand and led me out here, saying he was fulfilling a promise he’d made to me a long time ago.

He’d refused to give any more details, but since he had my blanket – the one he had stolen from me at the lake – slung across his shoulders, I was pretty certain I knew where we were headed…

The field of spring wildflowers filled the landscape, their ‘faces’ turned toward the horizon, where a pink-purple sky was lightening with the sunrise. It was like walking into an impressionist painting.

After spreading the blanket on the ground, Shingen wrapped his arms around me as he guided me to a seat. “You’re not too cold are you?”

I shook my head. Though the air was a bit chilly, I wasn’t cold sitting close to Shingen. “You’re nice and toasty. It helps.”

I leaned against him, warmed more by his presence than the actual heat of his body. He picked a flower, stuck it randomly in my hair, then grinned and repeated the action a few more times. “My nature Goddess, ready to greet the sunrise.”

“You promoted me from devil?” One of the flowers dislodged and hovered over my eye. I caught it before it fell and tickled his nose with it.

“Devil, Angel, Goddess… it’s all you.” His hands slid inside my robes and eased them down my shoulders. “I love all your identities.”

My brief thought of ‘what if someone comes by and sees us’ was followed by the knowledge that Shingen would have taken that into consideration and planned to avoid that. There were a lot of perks to being involved with a strategist. “All of my identities love you too.”

As he shrugged out of his clothing, a tiny movement at the edge of the blanket caught my attention. It was a caterpillar inching its way across the field. I let it crawl onto my finger then ferried it over to the stem of a nearby flower. Otherwise, it was likely to get squished in a few moments. “There you go,” I told it, though of course, it would have no idea what I said, or perhaps even hear me.

“What’s that, Devil?” Shingen claimed my attention again and drew me to him.

“Pre-butterfly.” Then all thoughts of the caterpillar’s future left my head, as Shingen kissed the hollow of my neck, and I gasped, just as I always did when he kissed me there.

The sun was just barely peeking at us over the horizon when Shingen carefully guided me onto him. “I knew you’d look beautiful clad in the sky, Katsuko.” He wrapped his arms around my waist, and we began to move together into a new day.

Into a future.

CODA: AKI

Not too far outside Kasugayama, Akihira paused when he heard rustling in the trees above. Although he couldn’t see who was up there, he had been expecting this encounter, so he waited patiently until the ninja flipped down into his path and drew his sword.

“No need for that, Mr. Mikumo.” Mentally, Aki sighed. Prior to his relocation into the Sengoku timeline… or timelines, as the case was now, Mikumo Sasuke had been a quiet student, intent on his studies. The Kenshin-trained ninja version of him was somewhat jarring, no matter which timeline Aki encountered him in. “I suspected you’d make an appearance sooner or later.”

“Er. Right then.” Sasuke took off his mask and put away his weapon. “Here I was feeling rather proud of myself for figuring out that you would spend a few days watching over Katsuko before you left.”

“I have the advantage of knowing several versions of yourself,” Akihira pointed out. “Though none of you are completely identical, you’re all intelligent enough to have determined my location.” Then, as Sasuke appeared poised to let loose a torrent of questions, he added, “I am not able to discuss anything specific to the multiverse – some of that is to try to avoid a paradox, and some things I simply do not know.”

Sasuke made an annoyed sound. “That eliminates the majority of my questions.” He pushed his glasses further up his nose. “Katsuko believes that the boy who fell in the river was important – are you able to tell me anything more about him?”

Akihira paused. Discussing Hikosane was a grey area – but the current crisis was nothing like any of them had ever encountered. “He’s not magical. He’s not a future Emperor, or even a future daimyo – at least not in most timelines. He is simply needed to survive his childhood, because for whatever reason, he is, as Katsuko might say, the butterfly.”

“Ugh.” Sasuke shuddered.

Right. Akihira had momentarily forgotten that Sasuke was afraid of butterflies. “Someone doesn’t want him to survive and has been going into various timelines to make sure he doesn’t. Timelines in which Hikosane otherwise would have lived.”

“And my original future was one in which he survived.” It wasn’t posed as a question – Sasuke had grasped the essence of the situation. “How did you-”

Aki held up his hand. “Will you accept that in another timeline there is a version of you that has the answer to these questions?��

“I’m sensing that I don’t have a choice.” Sasuke reached into his kimono, then withdrew a modern envelope. “In that case, I’ll proceed to a non-timeline related question.” He pulled a photo out of the envelope and handed it to Akihira. “Why didn’t you tell her?”

Akihira automatically glanced at the photo, then caught his breath when he saw her face. Sometimes simply seeing an unexpected picture, had that effect on him, even though he had become somewhat used to seeing her face on their children. The picture had been taken at a party – he couldn’t even recall the occasion. In those days, Francisco had regularly thrown parties for the lab staff, to as he said in his broken Japanese, “To blow the steam.”

Although Sasuke’s parents hadn’t officially been part of the project, they’d been extremely helpful in obtaining archival data on the Sengoku period – Francisco must have invited them. Sasuke’s mother had been somewhat of an amateur photographer in those days and lugged a Nikon everywhere. She must have snapped this candid of himself and Mayumi, capturing an intimate moment of a relationship that had lasted less than a year. One year, in the hudreds that he had travelled across. Not much time comparatively. But. Enough.

“Katsuko looks a lot like her mother,” Sasuke commented, breaking a silence that had grown while Akihira gazed at the photo. “Though once I knew to look for it, there is a resemblance to you as well, especially her eyes.”

“When I left your time period,” Akihira said, then cursed his wording because he knew Sasuke would pick up on the phrase ‘your time period.’ “I did not know Mayumi was pregnant.”

“That… is something you ought to discuss with Katsuko. And Toshiie, I imagine. However… why didn’t you… and give her that, um, Cloud City moment?” Sasuke held his glance.

Trust Sasuke to find a mediated reference. “In some of the other timelines, I’ve told her… or she  discovered it through other means. It’s… rarely turned out well. She’s happy here. She’ll be happier not knowing. I’ve run simulations in enough timelines in the multiverse to be certain of that.”

“Timelines… multiverse… simulations?” Sasuke cocked his head. “Less Darth Vader, more Dr. Strange, then.”

“If you persist in these sorts of comparisons, then I suppose that works as well as any other. I really must cut this conversation short, as I have places and times that need my attention.” Then, because it amused him to use Sasuke’s own tools against him, he tossed a few ground spikes and a smoke bomb on the ground. “Ker-vanish.”

By the time the smoke cleared Akihira had slipped into the forest. He planted his walking stick in the ground, and continued on his way, foot kicking a stone out of his path.

The stone bounced a short distance before colliding with another, which, in turn rolled off the path and landed near the base of a tree, disturbing a butterfly which had been resting on the trunk. The butterfly took off, winging its way toward the sky.

Thank you for joining me on the Throwback Thursday Reblog project! I had a lot of fun revisiting Shingen & Katsu's story... but as you can see, it's not quite over. There are two one-shot stories that I can reblog, and I will probably write other shorts with them. Also in this particular timeline, there is still a short story coming about Sute & Sasuke (.... & Yukimura). Plus... what really did happen in the lingerie store when Sasuke and Shingen went shopping... hmm?

Additionally due to the multiverse destabilizing, they do appear in the other Tempest in Time stories (including a yet to be published time jump to 1586), so we'll see them again.

I do plan on doing a Throw Back Thursday for A Mitsunari Night's Dream - but I'm going to wait until I finish posting the first run of Mitsuhide's story. It might be too confusing to see one version of Katsuko ("Okatsu") being romanced by Mitsunari, while another version of her (Kaya) is working with Mitsuhide to rescue Hideyoshi & Mai.

Anyway... wow, this ended up being a ten month project! Again, thank you for joining me on it. I'll miss my Thursday morning reblogs.

@bestbryn