#My First Work in This Fandom.

[zosanbrainrot]

zosantober day 12 - spicy

mandatory supplies stop

[koalasmashedoneucalyptus]

This has been sitting in my drafts

[ping-ski]

eclipse and y/n are finally done!! (you can find EBY sun & moon here)

these refs aren't that much different from the old ones aside from small changes :3

(old) EBY DCA ref

(old) Y/N ref

[tullecake]

some silly metal doodles because i looooove them ^^

[romatito]

realized ive never drawn portugal so..... heres joão 🇵🇹

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

[inhuman-rocket]

some Anakin doodles

[beannoss]

Something I think about a lot and wonder if maybe gets overlooked in Twilight’s story and as vitally indicative of his character is actually in the very first chapter:

Anya isn’t needed for Strix. Twilight decides to adopt her anyway.

[Spoiler warning: Mostly this post deals with early chapters already in the anime but there is reference to chapter 62, which has not yet been animated and will be in season 3]

Twilight decides it — “I’m going to rework the mission so it doesn’t involve a child because that’s too dangerous” and he’s 100% right! Donovan Desmond is canonically a far right warmonger with fascistic authoritarian aims. His government made liberal use of the SSS — a group to mirror the Stasi — who continue to operate in morally dubious ways (much more likely they’re actively morally reprehensible, though we’ve mostly only had rumours of that so far). From what we can tell, Desmond is at best an absent father and likely actually worse than that: if that's how he treats his own children, imagine how he might treat others. And the timeline seems to indicate that the experimentation performed on Anya was done under Desmond's government — even if Twilight isn't aware of experimentation on children, he is aware of both human and animal experimentation under Desmond's government. Taking all that and also the complexity of Strix's aims, undoubtedly there were other things that could be done, more straightforward if not necessarily easier.

So. Why? Why entertain the change at all? And then, having entertained it, why go back when the reasoning is indisputable?

On the Doylist level, I think Endo wanted to ensure that Anya had some agency within the set up — Endo also does this with Yor. It would be much harder to be on Twilight’s side fully, or to trust him on an ethical level/take him as any sort of moral authority, if he were just straightforwardly using these two people. To have them be active and consenting participants (arguably to actually be affirming the arrangement: Twilight sets it up, but Anya and Yor actually make it happen) even if the audience only knows the depth of their knowledge/motivations/etc currently, shifts the power dynamic in important ways.

But it also the set up tells us important things about Twilight. He is largely impatient, cold, detached in chapter one. His overarching feelings towards Anya are, I think, real annoyance, real confusion, and real impatience. He just doesn’t understand this damn kid and it turns out she’s a person which is frankly unacceptable — he’d needed and anticipated an automaton, ideally of himself in miniature form. (Though I think one could ponder whether Twilight was, in many ways, an automaton himself at this point, but that's maybe for another meta 🙃)

He’s not entirely unmoved of course — we're given to understand he’s affected when Franky tells him how many times Anya’s been adopted and returned, and isn't amused by Franky's joke about names. Franky's comment — "Just don't get attached" — reinforces this. The prospect of “the future” perturbs Twilight when he’s reading the parenting books. His initial reaction to Anya’s kidnap is horror. All these are true too.

Then there’s also this, from earlier in the chapter:

It’s exposition, yeah, and it’s also exposing. "Hopes" and "joys" are very specific words to describe those events. It could simply have been "A marriage? An ordinary life?" but describing them as such — hope for marriage; joy in ordinary life — expose something of what Twilight feels about those two experiences and, on the flipside, they expose what he deems he's lacking. No hopes of intimacy; no joy in (an ordinary) life. There's an argument as well, of course, that he's being ironic but I don't think that actually invalidates the above analysis. Drawing attention to 'hope' and 'joy' at all are revealing, regardless of Twilight's tone in thinking of them. I think it's also interesting this panel, taken in conjunction with a pair of panels in chapter 62, Twilight's backstory. The above is almost a pulled out version of this below panel of Twilight's recollection of his childhood, and of course the returning image of not just a rubbish bin but a rubbish bin on fire when it comes to disposing of his identity:

Back to Strix. Both his final interaction with Karen and the whole everything of the framing of Strix is making Twilight think (and feel, ahem) things that he hasn't for some time. Twilight decides, I’m reworking this. It can’t proceed this way. Not because Anya is a pain in his ass, not because she’s not as (apparently) intellectually advanced as he’d originally thought, not even because he thinks he can find another child who would better be exactly what mission parameters called for. No:

And what changes his mind is Anya asking to come home.

One of the important parts of this to me is this:

He seeks consent.

This moment is a keystone, I think, to understanding Twilight. It’s also more telling than he maybe realises. Twilight is decisive — we all laugh because he spirals at the drop of a hat when his daughter or wife look even mildly upset but outside those (also very telling) scenarios, he makes decisions and he pursues them. Often he makes decisions quickly. He’s a dab hand at it; it’s a large part of why he’s as good a spy as he is.

He’d decided to change Strix.

Anya asks him, in essence, not to.

So, he doesn't.

But it's wild that he entertains keeping her request at all — why? Why even entertain it? It’s dangerous; it’s impractical; there are too many moving parts outside his direct control; Anya isn’t the sort of child he’d wanted for the mission if he’d spent any time thinking about what a child might actually be like; Strix is in many ways an extremely long shot anyway, Desmond could just stop attending for reasons unknown and unrelated; etc.

So, yeah, why? Maybe because of this —

In conjunction, I often think of this moment in the cruise arc:

Twilight first naming the feeling as lonesome, and secondly tacitly conceding that he perceives Yor as a companion and that that relationship is important to him, something to be missed. What makes this for me though is that Anya calls this out "Papa's you're so sappy" and Twilight's reaction is that of someone caught-out. He doesn’t say “nuh-uh!” but he may as well have. Essentially, something landed a bit close to home, hm? Maybe some of that hope for marriage? A soupçon of joy of an ordinary life?

Twilight’s loneliness underpins many of his decisions with his family — probably without him being fully conscious of it. I think he is at least somewhat conscious of it, but also if he looks too closely... Well, best not to. I could fill this post, I think, with images that demonstrate his loneliness throughout the series; that sorrowful/pensive close-up of his eye(s) is one of the abiding motifs for Twilight throughout. I'd probably start with this one from Twilight's backstory arc:

Anya's request plays directly off his loneliness. Still though, he doesn’t immediately capitulate — he emphasises Anya’s choice. Is she sure? The last day has been scary for a child (and for him, but he's ignoring that part) and Twilight, in his increasing recognition that Anya is a person, is probably aware in the back of his mind that he hasn’t exactly been warm or welcoming or at all patient with her. Things that people respond to — he's otherwise excellent at manipulating people, so of course he understands this. So. Given she'd just had this scary experience, given he hasn't exactly been great with her: Is she sure? She wants to come home — with him?

I think the moment may get a little lost because Anya says something riffing off his own earlier thoughts and self-revelation (featuring that shadowed, lonely eye motif again!)

Were this a post about Anya, I’d talk about how it’s an important character moment for her as well by way both of demonstrating her agency/choice and also that she isn’t nearly as dumb as Twilight thinks (and the audience, maybe, also thinks).

But in my view, she didn’t actually need to say anything about it making her cry. I think she could simply have said yes in that moment and Twilight would have agreed.

Twilight’s an unreliable narrator; he’s disconnected from his heart and that shrouds his own motivations from himself — something he actually also concedes in this chapter!

And it shrouds from us just how much he actually understands himself. He’s also a master of deflection. Easy to assume or say that bringing Anya home is just to align with Strix. Nothing more to see here; nothing else going on. But also that ripping off of the mask in the panel above — and the literal 'riiip' sound effects — also indicate to us that this is an unveiling to himself.

In my view, Twilight agreeing to Anya's request, deciding to go back to original mission parameters, actually shifts his motivations, subtly. Now he’s committed not only to the original mission goals, but also to Anya. He needs Anya to succeed at Strix, not only for Strix's sake, but also because otherwise the mission will end and she’ll have to go back to the orphanage, and he’s just agreed with her not to do that (not right away, in any case). I don’t think at this point he’s thinking it’s forever — his thoughts throughout the manga indicate he still expects the Forgers to be temporary. I don't think the shift in motivation is necessarily even conscious, but given the set up, I think something inside Twilight recognises that agreeing to bring Anya home is a compact, jointly engaged. Mostly all this has become subsumed into Strix: he makes decisions. He pursues them. He deflects, even from himself. Of course it's just for the mission; this saved him the trouble of reworking it, of figuring out something else. Nothing more to see; no need to think any more on it. And to be fair to him, Strix is very high stakes, resting pretty solely on his shoulders, so of course that is, objectively, motivation enough. Why even consider beyond that?

But I personally think that to the extent he's aware of it at all, there is something else going on, that he wants to have Anya for as long as it takes him to work something else out for her. If that's the case, then of course, we have Occam’s razor: the simplest solution may be the best one.

Maybe Twilight should just keep Anya himself, eh?

[Image description: gif from Spy x Family season 1, episode 1. Twilight and Anya have just found out Anya passed her entrance exam and are overjoyed. Celebratory, Twilight picks Anya up and swoops her into the air as they smile at one another. End image description]

[i-dont-talk-for-days-on-end]

Lately, I've found it very difficult to get out of bed in the mornings. So I've come up with a plan. Here it is:

I made a not at all weird little cut-out of Holmes from the 'What is it, a fire?!' scene. I am going to put it up on the shelf next to my bed and put my phone behind it. When my alarm goes off, I will have to sit up to reach my phone. I will then have to look at cardboard Holmes and I will a) be so amazed by his beauty b) have a 'do it for him' moment c) be so baffled by my own silliness that I will immediately be wide awake and get out of bed. Wish me luck.

[giselles-dumping-hat]

Doodle of the little guy ever as this game takes over my waking thought

[ricky-mortis]

Howdy, Hello there! Here is my piece for this year’s @hatchetfield-bang!

I’s a companion to the wonderful, @mythuzalasheir3 ‘s fic, “Does This Look Like The Goddamn Abstinence Camp To You?”- which you all should go read!

[amoscontorta]

Hi, I write fanfiction about Love and Deepspace. Currently Sylus-specific, although I love and appreciate most of the LIs. Full summaries and tags are in each link.

Alike and cornered beast, Sylus's POV | ao3

I was desperate for Sylus's point of view during the first time that MC meets him in the Alike and Cornered Beast chapters of Long-Awaited Revelry. I wanted to know why he touches MC so reverently but also quite brutally, so I spent a lot of time thinking about possibilities and this is the result.

Roleplay, undercurrents, and rising curtain, Sylus's POV | ao3

It really bothers me in the game that the clearly traumatic experiences MC undergoes in the canon storyline don't seem to have any consequences for MC's character development. Yes, yes, this is a self-insert gacha mobile game, blah blah. MC has PTSD from chapter 4 (you know the one), and no one can convince me otherwise, so I re-wrote the auction bits from Sylus's POV to fix this grievous oversight, because I am also firmly convinced he is a champ at handling MC's trauma.

No way out, revised | ao3

I thought that MC was too mean to Sylus in his 4 star No Way Out card, and I didn't like it, so I fixed it. I mean, I rewrote how it went like a proper rabid fan. Sylus shows up injured near MC's place, MC tends to his injuries, and he takes advantage of the situation like a vampire and secures himself an open invitation into MC's home whenever he 'needs' it.

Datura tea, or how all you want is to get some sleep | ao3

You're suffering from insomnia due to untreated PTSD (probably, I don't know, I'm not a doctor or a therapist) from your family getting, well, exploded, and the longer this goes on, the sloppier you become in combat and just existing, and a bad idea is born (let's go to the club alone, drink enough to finally get drowsy and then go home and finaaaaally sleep it off). Zayne treats some of your injuries, Mephisto does Sylus's stalker bidding, and guess who appears at the club right before you're about to probably violate the Hunter's Association code of conduct on an idiot who has a hard time taking no for an answer? Spoiler alert: he can't sing but he can dance, even if he chooses to dance to the music he'd rather be hearing than the music actually being played. Full of clichés but hopefully with refreshing twists.

Sylus gets a headache | ao3

Sylus has secured the promise from you that he can use your place as a safe house if he's in the area and needs it. Sylus's definition of "need", it turns out, might be different than your own, as illustrated by the first time he shows up unannounced at your door.

Wine time with Sylus | ao3

Sylus invites himself over, helps himself to your first aid kit and your kitchen, manipulates you into tasting wine with him, discusses his latest business venture, and gifts you more than one present before he's good and ready to finally leave.

[aulerean]

Scarlet Pearl is like evil red riding hood. To me.

[carmenberzattosgf]

thigh riding with carmy hi yes hello so yeah and haha yea lol

OMG CRISTINA-

This. I think about this A LOT ( a lot more now thanks to the Calvin Klein ad-)

Like oh my goddd. Him in the office way after hours stressing out over paperwork that he’s put off for weeks now. You walk in ( for story purposes… you’re wearing skirt), and he’s still glued to the paper work so you start kissing on his neck and running your hands through his hair. He stops you… the first time. “Baby- I gotta finish this shit. Can you sit down and wait for a minute? I’ll be done soon and we can go home.”

And yeah. Sure. You go and sit down the in seat next to him, but only for like 5 minutes max. After that you gently lean in to whisper in his ear, knowing how to distract him. “Need you Carm. The paperwork can wait.” You then dip down to nibble at his collarbone. His hand is knuckle white around the pen he’s holding.

“Can’t be a good girl for 5 minutes can you? Fucking hell- fine. Sit on my thigh.” Oh you practically jump into his lap. Your skirt bunches around your hips when you try and straddle his waist in the chair. He stops you, though before you can wrap your legs around him. “No. My thigh. You’re going to get yourself off on my thigh while I sit here and finish this paperwork. Then maybe, maybe, I’ll fuck you when we get home. Got it?”

“Y-yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, sir.” So with a reddened face you straddle one of his thighs. Your skirt bunches so that your soaked underwear makes contact with the rough denim he’s wearing. You gasp at the contact, lighting starting to grind your hips.

You get desperate real fucking quick, speeding up your movements and chasing your orgasm. Carmy loses focus on his paperwork the moment he feels you start to soak through his jeans. From then on, his watching you intently as your hips move. “Atta girl, just like that.” He praises.

He can’t take his eyes off of you. Your cheeks flush and embarrassment at the situation overwhelms you; you needed him so bad that his thigh was good enough for you. You hide your face in his neck to escape his gaze and muffle your moans. It feels so good- god he feels so good. Your hips speed up as you begin to lose your self in pleasure.

That doesn’t last long. Carmy’s hand grips the hair on the nape of your neck to move your head so that your eyes meet his once again. “Keep those pretty eyes on me. Wanna see the look on your face when you come for me.”

You’re close. So unbelievably close. His hands are on your hips, assisting in your movements. “Come on baby. I’ve got you. So fucking pretty falling apart on me like this-“ and with that last bit of praise you come, keeping eye contact with him the entire time. “Good job. Such a good girl for me. Now can you sit there and be patient while I finish this?”

You lean into him, nodding into his neck in response. In all honesty you fall asleep on his shoulder while he finishes up, and like the sweet boyfriend he is, he carries you back to the car to take you home <3

[venomous-qwille]

Keep the LIGHTS OFF OFF OFF!!

[ID: An inkbrush style image of Virus!Sun standing with both hands splayed looking at the viewer, he is bisected by a diagonal slash of shadow. The colours are heavily saturated with purple, yellow and red that clash in an unnerving way. /End ID]

[obikindred]

I hit chilchuck with harpyfication beam for 500 mana and blow him into one million pieces. Drivel below vv

I think chilchuck is some kind of likeeee wren? Chickadee maybe? Maybe even a cardinal? Some kind of small songbird, i just wanted him to have some kind of warm-colored wing with white speckles (my lazy ass did NOT use a reference for these shitty little doodles but if I ever end up making solid refs for them I’ll do more research), I thought about maybe hummingbird wings butttt idk I couldnt get the shape right and I wanted him to have more of a traditional harpy look. I combined elements from my harpies (wings and arms, jewelry/piercings, feathered tails) and canon harpies (FEATHER TIT WINDOW‼️ kind of feral, sharp teeth, etc) and kind of mashed them up. I TOTALLY FORGOT to give him jewelry on his arms and stuff but maybe I’ll go back to that laterrr idk like i said these r quick shitty doodles. So i guess hes kind of half harpy. I was like MANNNN wouldnt it be funny if he got his soul fucked up and had to navigate the rest of his life as a chimera. Lol. What if he had to relearn how to be human. What if laios had to teach him. Haha would that be fucked up or what. He could have also just been like that when they first met him and that would be cool too i think. What about the Implications??? Are his wings sensitive? What abt his tail? Are his senses even sharper?? Does this change his diet? Are his taloned hands still clever enough to pick locks? THEN i started thinking about the others…. Laios n Falin r some kind of owl. Snowy owl probably their northern asses but I also like the idea of them being some kind of seabird. Big ole albatross Touden sibs. Senshi is probably also sone kind of owl, maybe even some kind of chicken? Vulture might also be cool. Marcille is definitely a duck or swan tho (GASP unless SHES the hummingbird!! I will come back to this later). Izutsumi is already a cat, but if she had wings too shed be a corvid of some sort fo sho. Idk about yhe others because I cannot lie to u idgaf about them. ANYWAYS i love to talk about wings and harpies and how that affects team and overall social dynamics so if anyone has anything to add please do‼️