#NO ONE IN THEIR RIGJT MINDS

[edenslice]

this is insane. this is INSANE.

i called them the "(platonic) aziraphale to my crowley". so past me FULLY KNEW?? the fucking implications of me calling them. the AZIRAPHALE. TO MY CROWLEY.

[stiffyck]

There's something about scar... idk what it is but whether it's the fanon designs of his character or the irl person he's just so. Handsome. Cute. Everything. He's just the man. The only man ever actually.

He's so cool. I hope he knows it.

[thedrotter]

cw BLOOD!!!!

2003 Kinder Yuuichi doodles motivated by this one battle sprite of him with this goofy face ... (also 2003 shunsuke appears there too did I need to draw him differently from my design of him no did i do it anyway yes)

Wanna doodle him more but first I'll be figuring out what's being said in the game ... Do not want to mischaracterize him even if he's slightly different so for now THE SILLY

[dyke1]

what the hell kind of fucked up family did i fimd myself in omg

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

I kinda (insert something here later) when you try to get overly metaphorical

[tired-biscuit]

naruto mounting you..... what if ifjhdis what if i fell to the floor— him all sweaty.. him trying to get even deeper and closer to/in you like it's possible.. and the sounds he'd make rigjt in ur ear omfgg he is literally incapable of shutting up!! just groaning and moaning telling u how good and nice u feel argfjkajdjs i need him now 🫥

right??! he’s panting in your ear, calling you a good girl, telling you to give him “jus’ one more, mhmm... c’mon, you can do it; i know you’ve got one more in ya… c’mon, sweetheart; cum f’me.”

he’s all praises and salty kisses pressed into your hot skin. and he’s just so big, too! heavy and strong and firm but gentle when you need him to be. cheeks pink, almost red because of the closeness and the way how sticky and warm and wet you are at the place where you connect; how lewd the sounds of it are whenever he draws his hips back and slams them right back in — hissing through gritted teeth, wanting more, more, more.

he’d be so greedy. and i also think he’d look sooo hot sweaty and with a look of actual focus sitting on his face. like, brow furrowed, eyes dark, teeth sinking into his bottom lip. he’s actually present, completely invested; that outrageously fleeting mind of his zeroing in on you and only you.

[michelleleewise]

Forget Me Not

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: angst, mind manipulation, mentions of memory loss, mentions of injury, anger, depression, sadness, crying, dehydration, exhaustion, all the angst, no happy ending to be seen.........yet

Summary: Loki talks Wanda into helping with his memory, while you try to hold yourself together.

Part three--Part Four-

"Wanda, please. I am begging you, I need to know." Loki said, following wanda down the hall, Thor in tow. "I don't know, what if I make it worse?" She asked turning to him. "I'm not sure how it could be worse." He said fidgeting with his hands. "Fine, but of something happens.." She started "You will not be to blame, this is on me." Loki said as Thor nodded. "Alright. Come on, the sooner the better." She said heading to her room.

Thor sat on the couch as Loki sat in a chair wanda brought out. She stood behind him as she raised her hands to his temples "for the record Loki, I hope this works. You two were great together." She said as her hands glowed red. "Are you ready?" She asked. "Yes, I'm ready." Loki said closing his eyes. "Ok here goes nothing." She said as her fingers touched his temples.

He gasped, gripping the sides of the chair as flashes of the last year flooded his mind. "Do you want me to stop?" He heard "no, I'm fine. Keep going." He said through gritted teeth.

"Hi, im y/n. It's nice to meet you." She said smiling. "Loki of Asgard and Jotunhiem." He said shaking her hand.

"Loki, come look at this." You said as he came in the kitchen. As he leaned down you smeared the pie in his face, laughing. "You will pay for that dear." He said wiping his face, smiling, as you squealed and ran away as he grabbed you from behind, rubbing his face on yours "I just want to share darling." You both laughed as he held you to him.

"Darling, can I ask you something?" He asked looking at you "Sure, what's up Mischief?" You asked sitting up. "Would you allow me to take you out?" He asked fidgeting with his hands. You looked around before looking back at him. "Me?" You asked "Well yes, of course you." He smiled. "Umm. Yeah, I'd love to." You smiled.

Evey memory He ever made with you flashed through his mind, he felt tears streaming down his face as each one passed "Loki?" He heard Thor "im fine." Until the last memory came, the day of the mission.

"Darling, how would you feel about moving in together?" He asked holding your hand, cuddled on the couch. "Loki, I would love nothing more." You smiled as he leaned over gently kissing you. "I hope to one day be worthy enough to make you my wife." He smiled as you cupped his cheek "You have always been worthy Loki." You smiled back.

He looked across the field, seeing Thor's hammer whiz past your head as he ran towards you. "LOKI, STOP!!" He heard you yell, and then.....

Wanda pulled her hands away as he gasped, panting heavily as his fingers gripped the sides of the chair. "Brother? Are you alright?" Thor asked walking over. "I saw it, all of it, her." He panted, tears streaming down his face. "Do you still have the memories after the accident?" Thor asked as Loki looked down "Yes, I do." He whispered, more tears falling. "How could I do that Thor? How could I be with anyone but her?" Loki sobbed. "You did not remember, it was not your fault." Thor tried to reassure him. "I betrayed her Thor! I love her and I....with Melissa, i...." he tried, putting his head in his hands.

"Rigjt now, we must focus on finding her. I worry about about how she's doing." Thor said as Loki tried to compose himself. "What if....after what I did, she won't want to come back?" Loki asked looking at him. "We must try Loki, if nothing then to make sure she's safe." Loki nodded as he stood. "Thank you Wanda, i...what is the saying....owe you one." He said looking at her. "Im glad I could help, now bring y/n home and we're even." She smiled as Loki nodded.

You slowly opened your eyes, seeing the stars "did I sleep all day?" You said to yourself, slowly sitting up. You hadn't remembered dreaming, your mind a void. You remembered seeing Loki but then he was gone. You shook your head, as you slowly made it to your knees, looking out over the dark ocean. "I better head back." You said to yourself, slowly making it to your feet. You drug yourself back to your little house, going in seeing everything as it was when you left.

You sighed, grabbing some water and downing it before looking for something to eat. You didn't feel like building a fire so you just grabbed some bread and peanut butter you had gotten from the village last week. You sat at the small table, instinctively twirling the necklace you had on, a silver snake wrapped around a green gem.

"I want you to have this darling. In case anything happens, I'll always be able to find you." Loki said clasping the necklace on you. "But how?" You had asked looking at it. "I have placed a small amount of my Siedr into it, so what I carry in me can reach out to it and tell me where you are." He smiled running his finged over the chain.

You had hoped many times that it would glow, or give you some sign Loki was looking for you, but it never came, he never came. You wanted to be angry, but you couldn't. All that was left was sadness and acceptance. You knew Loki was ok, and that's what mattered. He had Thor, and the other avengers. He had.....her. it didn't matter what happened to you, as long as he was happy and ok.

You had always wanted the best for him, and deep down you hoped that's what she was doing, even though it felt like a stab in the heart. Had he seen the letter? Did anyone even tell him about it? Had Melissa found it and thrown it out? You couldn't blame her if she did.

You finished your sandwich, still feeling groggy you decided to lay down again, hoping you would feel better tomorrow. You climbed in bed, pulling the blankets up to you chin as you closed your eyes, hoping no dreams would come to you. As you drifted off, tugging the blankets closer to you, you missed the dim green glow emitting from your necklace.....

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

@vbecker10 @lokiprompts @lokisninerealms @lulubelle814 @commanding-officer @juulle987 @xorpsbane @immersed-in-mischief @stupidthoughtsinwriting @midnights-ramblings @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @lokislittleprincess @d1a2n389 @lokisprettygirl22 @your-taste-on-my-lips @buttercupbestie @daggers-and-mischief @lucylaufeyson3 @12-pm-510 @geekwritersworld @freshprincessofpain @evansabove1981 @lonadane @azurethebts @nixymarvelkins @curiousdumbass101 @lokidbadguy @sinsandguilt

[prismuffin]

Major Triggering warning for Self-harm (I just wanted to give you the notice before you read. I know it's not everyone jazz)

So I'm noticing an increase of horny asks with the new followers. So let's do an angst ask to balance some shit out!!

How about Batman getting the empty nest feaver again and impulsively adopting a teen in Joker's "care." And without realizing it, he starts to project Joker's image and shit onto the teen. The teen senses this, turning to self-hatred and trying to stop everything that looks like a mannerism of a joker. They Reader starts to wear more black and grey, jumping away from purple n green. Just wanting to be loved. Trying to find a way to make Bruce happy.

So! How would the batboys + Batman/ Bruce Wayne react to finding out the teen was self-harming and, during the breakdown, scream, ' When you look at me, all you see is him! What can I do to get out of his shadow?? I just want to be loved!' while crying.

Dick and Jason notice the teen is becoming more withdrawn, always wearing long clothing, etc. All of the red flags.

Dick wanting to help, confronts Reader about the behavior change, and Reader gets defensive. At some point, Jason yells for Reader to remove his shirt to prove he's not self-harming. (less out of anger, more out of concern and fear). When Reader does, everyone sees that there isn't an inch of skin that isn't scared. Some being as fresh as yesterday.

DUDE I HAD THIS WHOLE ASK WRITTEN AND IT DELETED RIGJT AS I WENT TI OOST IT OMG I’m so mad genuinely ong TW SELF HARM I’m gonna try and write this from memory ok sooooo I think that-

Dick notices it first, the way you start to pull back from the family. He tries to help indirectly but it doesn’t seem to be working. He can’t help but get more worried the more you start to withdrawal yourself.

Jason sees the signs next but he tries to brush them off. Initially he thought that you’d begun to embrace the Batman and that’s why you’d switched to darker clothing. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that it was something deeper than that. After a while he talks to Dick, asking him if he’s noticed anything off about how you’d been acting recently and that’s when Dick opens up about everything he’s been noticing. It doesn’t take them long to reach the same conclusion and their hearts sink as they try and come up with a plan to help you out.

At first they try and get you to reach out first by reminding you constantly that they’re there for you if you ever have something in your mind or want to talk but you always brush them off and say you’re fine. Tim notices what they’re doing and confronts the two of them and they open up about everything they’ve noticed. He quickly tells them that they should talk to you directly before it’s too late.

Dick confronts you one day as softly as he possibly could but of course it still doesn’t go over well. You just denied everything immediately even after he tells you that he’s not mad at you for it. He continues to confront you until you have enough and walk away from him. He chases after you, still trying to talk you through everything but you continue to deny his claims as you speedwalk away. Eventually you run into Jason who immediately knows what’s going on. He tried to help Dick by telling you that nobody was mad and that they just wanted to help. The bickering turned into arguing which caught the attention of everyone else. Jason was sick of you denying what was so obvious in his eyes that he told you to prove it to him. Take off your sweatshirt, prove that you weren’t self harming and he’d apologize and leave you alone.

Backed into a corner, you angrily ripped off your hoodie, tears clouding your vision as you heard the horrified gasps from everyone. You breathed heavily as you heard Bruce ask why. Angrily throwing down the jacket in your hands, you screamed. You screamed about how he’d projected onto you, how you were afraid to turn out just like the Joker and how you couldn’t stand it when they all looked at you with accusing eyes. It made them all cry that day, seeing you so helpless, and the scars, there was way more than they’d ever imagined. Most old, but many fresh, and surprisingly Bruce is the first to take initiative in comforting you. He dismisses all of your thoughts immediately, telling you how your fathers actions don’t define you and that he’s sorry that he’d made it seem that way. It’s shocked everyone but eventually they all joined in, comforting you and telling you how they really saw you.

You were simply their sibling and that was it. You were their struggling sibling and they were here for you.

( Dude if this feels rushed in sorry I had to rewrite it completely💀 )

———

Directory

[imdoingsortagay]

Milf! Wanda x younger couple Agatha + r Headcanons

Warnings: older woman x younger couple ( Agatha and r are about 26-27 , Wanda is 33is), Dom!Agatha, switch!R, Sub!Wanda,some smut , Milf!Wanda, vision being a bro and unaware husband

Smut below the cut !!!!!

Happy reading gays

Wanda is literally a lonely housewife

She only married Vision to stop the nagging from her dad about “ needing a man “

She spends her time gardening, doing yoga with Dottie.

Wanted to spice up her life

Her prayers are answered when the two of you show

You and Agatha moving to west view after your job offered you a position to run the Westview.

Wanda taking a liking to both of you.

Agatha finding her weird at first but she comes to your house with cookies so it’s fine.

The three of you hanging out when you’re off, watching movies, drinking or swimming in the pool.

Wanda wearing a very revealing swim suit that catches both your eyes and you shyly compliment the older woman which makes her blush.

“ does your husband know about this Maximoff ? Cause he’s clearly dumb” Agatha tells her while you not in agreement.

Wanda always sitting between the two of you when you have movie marathons.

Agatha placing her hand on Wanda’s thigh cause it stops her hand from constantly tapping it while you rest your hand on the older woman’s hand ( she doesn’t mind).

Once Wanda leaves Agatha forms a plan to get Wanda which you agree to

Not before fucking cause she makes y’all va Va voom.

“ do you want mommy to have Maximoff join us bunny? You want her to see you like such a needy sit for me ?”

One time during one of your hangout sessions, Agatha ends up inviting Wanda to swim again while she eats you out cause the bikini you chose looked so good on you.

“ god needy bunny looking so good for mommy rigjt ? I wonder What Wanda would do ?”

Wanda going straight home and touching herself, being a bit of a perv and slowly opening the bedroom window to hear your moans.

Agatha wait a month til the big block party at Dotties house to confront Wanda

You and Agatha go to a room to fuck where the older woman catches you both in the act.

Wanda being ordered to watch the two of you while Agatha fucks into you.

“ fuck you’re both so hot ,” she moans out as she fingers herself, choosing not to wear any panties under to dress.

“ how about you come over and let my bunny use that mouth of hers to make you cum cmon honey don’t be shy”.

Wanda loves when the both of you fuck her.

Someone so hot about two young woman making her a needy little thing is gets Wanda so wet.

Agatha letting you fuck Wanda one time when she was out running errands.

Getting pictures of Wanda’s pussy taking your purple strap 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Which is Agatha’s btw but she lended to you of course.

Agatha being the strict one with Wanda while you’re v soft with her.

When your wife is feeling extra mean she’ll just tie you and Wanda up next to each other while she uses a toy on herself.

“ if either of you behaved , my sweet bunny could have been sucking my tits while Wanda was licking my cunt.

Making Wanda pierce her nipples and the both of you go wild

Wanda sending nudes to the both of you when you’re all busy

Buying lingerie for Wanda to use then taking Polaroids of her to keep in your wallet

Ends with more dirty Polaroids of Wanda being fucked dumb

Agatha like to call Wanda princess , or slut if she’s being mean.

Overall best choice ever

[aesopsbaby]

Talk about man boobs……I mean I just need to get this out! It’s 4:23 am in the morning…I can’t sleep without drooling over hot identity v men….so your going to read this wether you like it or not it’s TIME FOR SOME SEXY MONSTER MEN just like how we queenzzz like’em.

Hunter Norton……the creators new EXACTLY what they were doing when creating his hunter form…. That figure…..that hair….that face…..that jaw line….that smirk….that laugh….THOSE MAN ROCKY BOOBS!!!

I want to squish them…

It’s natural for us women to want to squish some delicious man booba…

Just imagine him chasing you in the woods while humming and chuckling, clearly enjoying and mocking you thinking you can get away from him he would definitely play with you in a chase, giving you false hope that you can get away, purposely missing hits on you and letting you make some distance before right when escaping through the gate he speeds towards you and knocks you down menacingly looking down at you.

Hunter Norton pick up animation is throwing you over his shoulder and spanking you or squeezing your thigh in an iron grip when your squirming and trying to escape his hold CONFIRMED you can’t change my mind my friend!

Anyways love ya!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

NO YOU'RE SO RIGJT ABOUT HUNTER NORTON,,, the creators were COOKING when they were creating him FOR SURE!! They KNEWWWW what we wanted

I MEANNN THE RASPY VOICE GRAHHH it makes me go feral and I start frothing at the mouth whenever I see that man,,

Omfg...him being the cocky and smug bastard he is, he'd probably be so into seeing you running and watching how you get startled at every little sound,,, The way he'd laugh when he catches you off guard, causing you to trip and probably fall. Watching you scramble away from him while trembling ever so slightly and with shaky breaths leaving your parted lips has him smirking even more while thoughts are swarming his mind seeing you in such a vulnerable sight! Omfg I'm drooling already,,

AAAAAA HIS CARRY ANIMATION IS SOOOO TRUE,,!! Can you imagine him picking you up with ease with just one arm and whenever you try to squirm, he'd just give you a firm squeeze on your thighs while chuckling; "Quit moving now, sweetheart. It's just makin' me even more excited, y'know?" ,,grrrrahhhh I'm going insane,,

AND WHEN YOU TRY HITTING HIM ON HIS BACK TO LET YOU GO?? God this man would just laugh out loudly at your futile attempts, teasing you about how "weak" and "soft" your hits are,, ♡ he's so arrogant and a little shit I love him!! I LOVE YA TOO!! Send more in,, I'm on my knees for anything!

[thewarriorspecial]

And uh here’s the johnkyle I just can’t quite get into. I dunno. Probably gonna shelve this until I get a better direction for it.

John’s perfect posture belied the boredom wriggling through his body. This entire meeting could’ve been an email. The ring on his finger provided better intel at the speed of light. John already knew he’d be put into a leadership position and he had already identified a more efficient approach which would negate everything Batman was telling the League from his tall chair at his end of the table.

As a polite man, John didn’t interrupt. Moments like these he wished he had Gardner’s more direct approach to Batman’s plans.

Batman’s Batplans. Na na na na na na na Batplans. Batplans.

John smiled to himself and let his mind wander.

As a perpetual Titan there wasn’t a seat for Kyle at the table. The younger man shifted his weight where he leaned on one of the massive window arches nearby. As a perpetual Titan he also didn’t get a say in anything and was really just here because he was still asleep in John’s bed when the “emergency” meeting had been called.

Which was fine because the closer Kyle was the less John had to travel to get back to what he’d rather be doing.

Kyles uniform fit like a second skin. And that was odd because John knew Kyle had nothing but baggy tie dyed pants on when they left.

He had heard Kyles excited shout when the smaller man had dug John’s old pants out of the dresser and started hauling them on without asking.

“These are awesome!!” Kyles eyes shone so bright that John was unbothered by the phrase which was Future Kyle’s unconscious way of apologizing for never giving them back. They looked better on Kyle anyways.

They’d look even better on the floor somewhere.

John knew where all of the cameras were around the Watchtower. More importantly he knew where the blind spots were. Perfect little places where he could get Kyle alone for a few minutes. Just little secret corners, he thought as Batman’s monotone carried on. Little fuck cubbies. A tiny smile lifted the corners of Johns full lips.

He could shove Kyle into one of those corners, push those thin pants that his nothing right out of his way and—

Oh. Uh oh. Everyone’s looking at John expectantly. Uh oh.

He searched his mind for the last discernible syllables that had made it into his brain.

Something something brainiac. Something blah blah space, blah Green Lantern, something long range blah blah.

That’s right, I was a sniper. They want me to shoot at Brainiac from space because I can fly. Time to drop the bad news that the plan is bad and he had a better idea.

John stands up, acknowledges Batman’s thorough planning and pitches his idea instead.

The faces of the heroes gathered at the table are all frozen in an expression between confusion and shock.

John nodded slowly. He’d floored them with his plan.

“John, I —“ Batman started “—greatly appreciate all of your input with the last Brainiac incursion and I recognize how much you think about the leagues security…”

“But?”

“But…we are just washing and reinforcing the windows.”

“Rigjt,” John kept his face steady and stoic though he was aflame with embarrassment, “Um. My bad, chief. Haven’t been sleeping well.” John made a fuss of shuffling his chair into a batter position. “Thank you all for your time and carry on.” He added a nod and a little wave to signal that he was done and it was okay to stop looking at him now.

Surely finger guns would’ve been too much?

Kyle snickered and finally everyone looked away from John.

Great. Now everyone knows they’re sleeping together.

Can’t people just mind their own business and utilize emails and eliminate all meetings forever?

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

@single-use-ship-of-theseus OKAY SO the fic is called i was screaming your name through the radio and it's by ElectricSplatter on ao3. keep in mind that all my rambling is going to be from memory bc its on the long side (256,709 words split between 10 chapters) and the only way i even found and got through it was in a bout of like late night mental illness and i will probably never be able to get through it again dhdjdhdj

cut for spoilers & possible length

anyway i fucking LOVE this fic it may be my favorite bsd fic ever im fucking ABNORMAL about it and by abnormal I mean this was rhe comment i left behind when i finished it at like 1 in the morning

IM SO. NOT OKAY ABOUT IT RIGJT.

so one thing i fucking love about this fic is the way its presented to us. the fic starts six years and eight months after the release of the double black album and the single corruption, with the seventh anniversary approaching. in the present time chuuya finally gets fucking fed up with people asking him about it in interviews and says

“Corruption is insanely overrated, and I would prefer to never hear Dazai’s voice for the rest of my fucking life.”

naturally this fucking BLOWS UP, but we don't get to see that yet. why? BECAUSE THE FIC CUTS TO AUGUST. AUGUST ONE YEAR AND FIVE MONTHS BEFORE THE RELEASE OF CORRUPTION.

FOR MOST OF THE FIC YOU'RE READING FROM TWO SEPERATE SPOTS IN TIME. in fact, the majority of the fic takes place in the past, starting here in august until it finally catches up with the present day. Every chapter tends to begin with a sliver of the present day following chuuyas interview, then cuts back to the past and i fucking LOVW IT SHAKING IT SO HARD RIGHT??? AUGU

so anyway it cuts to like 8 years ago and we switch pov to Dazai. for the entire book the pov switches in the book between chuuya and dazai which is nice. anyway 8 years ago dazai osamu of port mafia records is in a diner watching The Sheep play a bad pop song and HATING every minute of it, because hes been sent out to scout a new talent from them by mori specifically. obviously hes like wow these people suck im not doing that but then someone from the audience requests they play Golden Demon (Kouyou's hit song). shirase is like fuck no ew but chuuyas like c'mon lets do it so shirase sits out and chuuya gets to sing for this one and AIFJG!!!!!!! so he sings his own slower more painful rendition of golden demon and dazai has his 1st homosexual moment™ (of. a LOT) and realizes chuuyas got a LOT of raw talent that could definitely be put to use, which is VERY high praise from him.

and that's part of how chuuya joins PMR and i dont remember much very vividly BUT as the fic goes on you watch how the slowly get closer and closer and do stupid teen things and how they take care of each other from chuuyas nightmares and backstory to dazais own mental illness and aifjfufhgh.

as you read theres the feeling of fucking DREAD bc you KNOW how this ends. you saw the blurb you saw the start of the fic you know they hate each other now. and you know that they'll fall apart soon. eventually. and you just have to WAIT FOR IT AND AICCHDJSJS. PAIN.

and they get like so embarrassingly in love with each other its horrible its great like for dazais birthday chuuya dug up vita sexualis which is a song that moris tried to hide for years and chuuya sang it on stage for him bc he knew dazai would love it and AUFHFD and dazai keeps doing something for chuuyas birthday each year like dragging them on an outing or sending him a wine bottle full of seawater because he loves the ocean....

anyway anwya anyway a big part of the story is dazai and chuuya end up writing thw somg corruption together. thats why the timeline in the fic is framed as ____ years ____ months after/since/before the release of it. corruption is a REALLY big song. as in popular. part of this is the improvised piano solo in the middle of it, the corruption aspect. dazais job is to tell chuuya when to stop the solo. corruption is also HORRIBLE for chuuyas mental health. corruption was the alternative to another song chuuya was initially drafting arahabaki, which was a lot worse at the time. but corruption ultimately hammers in how like. not human he feels he is, how his mother viewed him. this makes chuuyas nightmares worse among other things.

HOWEVER eventually towards the end of the book. well no its revealed earlier but back then you're only concerned about it. so towards the end of the book chuuya finally releases his own solo album. and one of the songs is Arahabaki. the song he said he'd rather die than hear on rhe radio or smth iirc. because he turned it into a song about his realizing his own humanity. and oaidhd

im so tired rn so I'm gonna stop here but shaking you. shaking you

other cool bits

CHUUYA KAJII FRIENDSHIP. !!! chuuya ends up having to join his band the black lizard and they hate each other so fucking much but eventually they find common ground

KOUYOU. SHE IS REALLY IMPORTANT AS CHUUYAS MENTOR AUGH

ODASAKU DOESN'T DIE!!! it still hurts though

RIMBAUD!!!!!!! definitely dies though

teenage skk shenanigans. there are a lot i love them

mori isn't all that bad! him and dazai still have issues but his relationship with chuuya is actually pretty nice.

CHUUYA ELISE FRIENDSHIP!!! CHUUYA KYOUKA FRIENDSHIP!!!! CHUUYA KYOUKA ELISE FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!!!!

-

OKAY SERIOUSLY ending it here bc i started this yesterday night and fell asleep in the middle of it 😭 i literally just woke up now augh

[lumii-nosity]

apologies for one million asks but i am incapable of being normal rigjt now i am immediately going to learn every song in rhis album HOLY DALLON DKSNDBSNS THERE SOANAA IM SO GAU SHSBSBDN

it's alright you're okay!! I don't mind at all.

i'm also freaking out over the album rn 😭 😭

[pepprs]

ok yeah hi. it is very inappropriate for me to do this publicly when it is such personal whatever information. but i need other ppl (esp other jewish ppl) to know what im thinking and like. give me permission to act on it or whatever (cringe) and since i don’t have a new therapist yet im substituting my mutuals for one lol. so here’s this. tw for like… religion and me asking questions that have implications for all religion / culture in general and things like that. and also food. also not that i think anyone who follows me would do this but this post is not an invitation to proselytize to me or convert me to a different religion etc etc. ok here we go. this post is called: i am probably the wicked son and i am going to hell for it (not that jews believe in hell i don’t think but whatever). discuss ♥️

ok so here’s the deal. passover starts on wednesday. my family is not really that observant. we don’t do a Haggadah or a Seder or anything like that we literally just have my grandpa over for 2 nights of completely non traditional dinner where the only religious aspect is us saying a generic hebrew prayer for Passover at the beginning where we don’t even know what the words mean and then we just have normal conversation and don’t eat leavened stuff or most grains for a week. we don’t even eat matzah or any of the other passover foods you’re supposed to eat.

(here’s the part where i feel like even in asking the question im inviting god to smite me with a lightning bolt LOL) so i erm.. really do not want to not eat leavened stuff for a week. literally just because i eat leavened stuff sooo much and so much of what i eat is bread and it keeps me reliably full and i get hungry so fast and im hungry all the time. but it’s like.. im not special for that. im not unique in getting hungry fast or in relying on bread. (to my knowledge) im not ill or suffering in any way that makes me unable to observe the dietary requirements of this holiday. and in fact i probably eat too much bread than is actually healthy for me. but im just depressed out of my mind and need to make sure im eating things that keep me full and not letting myself be hungry. and i just really don’t want to not eat bread.

but the thing is i know not doing that is like one of the biggest… i don’t want to say sins but sins. that you could possibly do. like i just looked it up and the punishment is called “kareth” which is basically “the extinction of the soul” 💀 which ties Rigjt into my anxiety / guilt / whatever about making my own life and choices different from my mom’s and how the way she gets angry at me for doing something different than her makes me experience ultimate cosmic primal rejection / abandonment LMAO. but like my connection to judaism is already basically nonexistent bc we basically don’t do any of the holidays except rosh hashanah / yom kippur / passover / hannukah and what we do observe is so non traditional and secular that it basically doesn’t even count. and also i don’t “look” jewish and don’t have a “jewish last name” or whatever. and i know this is like complicated / bad in some ways to admit but i don’t feel any connection to my ancestors who made their exodus out of egypt or whatever (and who also probably were fullest having eaten bread and didn’t have the privilege of choosing whether they wanted to lol). and most of the jewish ppl in my life are either completely non observant or only casually observant and it’s more of a cultural / traditional thing than a religious thing. and i don’t rly feel a sense of community w other jews though ive fluctuated w that from time to time but i especially don’t rn bc of the situation with isr*el and p/alestine and how most of the observant jewish ppl i know are z*onists. the only thing that’s keeping me observing the holidays is obligation and precedent because that’s always how my family has done it.. and also i find meaning and whatever in rosh hashanah and yom kippur and hannukah. but i actually don’t at all for Passover. it’s always been my least favorite holiday which is ironic bc it was my parsha when i was bat mitzvahed. i feel disconnected to it probably because we never did seders and stff. and i don’t feel like i owe my ancestors anything for escaping egypt (girls who are the wicked son <3) but if i did i don’t see why we reenact the suffering we experienced instead of… celebrating that we are not suffering anymore! and eating a lot of the things we couldn’t eat while we were! and living our lives to the fullest! like why is it not a holiday about joy and gratitude instead of plunging ourselves back into reenacting suffering. says the girl who projects all the time and makes herself miserable every day LMAO but like.. idk. it’s making me so mad.

and the thing is i don’t even… like idk. the whole wicked son thing fucks me up so bad and strikes a nerve bc why are you labeled wicked / disrespectful / whatever for questioning precedent and figuring out how you want to make meaning in your life. like throwback to my mom getting fucking PISSED at me when i came home for passover last yr (i think it was passover or another jewish holiday) and said i was trying to figure out why im vegan and she took that as such a personal offense bc she couldn’t believe that i would question something she engrained in me.. idk. it was so fucked up. i feel like conflating god / my judaism and my mom / my veganism is not a good idea and is suggesting blasphemy but idk. im gonna be honest actually. i don’t know if i believe in god or if my questioning that makes me agnostic and not jewish. if i do believe in god it’s spinoza’s god who (according to this fb post i read in 2020 that has stuck with me ever since) says that basically god is the universe and… like it’s LITERALLY the end poem from minecraft it’s like you don’t have to be afraid of me or spend your days doing rituals to honor me just because that’s the precedent. make your own rituals. you will find me in no book or temple or whatever if you can’t find me in the precious moments of life like a sunset or joy or someone’s eyes. like you should just be who you are and not be afraid and indulge in the human experience and that is how you thank me and you don’t have to repent for anything because why would i make humans who make mistakes by nature and then punish them for doing that. and idk. that speaks to me so much. that’s what i hope so badly that god is. that’s why i hope so badly that me having questions and doubts about this stuff and figuring out how to connect to / honor my ancestors and culture and whatever in a meaningful way (and if i actually want to) is not going to invoke cosmic punishment of some kind because i am a human being and im allowed to have questions about things like this and to do things my own way that feels right for me given the circumstances and it’s okay to want to live (and to try to build) a life where as many rituals and sacrifices and burdens as possible are ones i choose and accept and consent to and am lucid about. especially when most of those burdens and stuff that ive experienced so far are things i have not gotten to choose at great mental and emotional cost. right? i want it to be that way so badly. i think if that was god then god wouldn’t want me to not eat brwad for 8 days just because that’s what the precedent is about how to honor the pain my ancestors suffered. god would want me to make my own tradition and if it was one of joy and gratitude for my ancestors and indulgence and exploring what being jewish means to me i think that would be okay with god. like LOL. but also am i just making excuses for not eating bread for a week and playing god or whatever and in doing so hopping and skipping and jumping to my doom in the form of kareth. do you see what i mean

but anyways yeah. this is really more of a thing for when im at work (which makes it even LESS of a big deal like im only there for 9-10 hours a day or whatever) bc if i didn’t do passover at home my mom would kill me so im leaving that aspect of it alone for now. but Omg im at a point in my life where doing things i do not get to choose is painful and im on the verge of a breakdown every day and the thought of having my diet disrupted for a week and being hungrier than usual when everything else in my life feels like it’s falling apart and i know how much being even slightly hungry impacts my mental health is making me lose my shit! like it’s just one too many things. but again im not special in that and i could do it if i had to. but do i have to if i don’t want to. what should i do.

[key-lime-soda]

LETS GO ONSUBWAY TOGEHRHER AND LOOK OIT THE WINDOW

thay remindsme one time in new york on my class field trip we took the subway a lot IT WQS SO COOL except that one night where it was 10 pm and we were all exhausted out of our minds and someone broke the revolving door thay goes through to the subway and the alarm was blaring so loud and we jjst watched the guy break the law and walk rigjt past us and it was so scary and loud

DBDJZJXKSMXJSJDJHSHS LMAO THATS SO FUNNY

Piper if u visit me we'll go sightseeing on the subway:D

[seiilo]

just some random kazuhei moments/stuff because i. am. bored. (like 2 or 3)

(btw in some they could be married and in some they arent just for the story)

morning discover

kazuha opened his eyes and yawned, tossing to his other side to see nobody beside him where he would usually see heizou, his lover. he was surprised. where did he go? did he leave? is he cooking breakfast already? so he turned back to his previous side and thought nothing about him until he had gotten startled by a sound of humming quietly. he looked up and saw heizou brushing his hair whilst looking in a mirror in the distance.

"dear..."

heizou looked behind him and saw kazuha laying on the bed in a very, funny position staring up into heizous eyes curiously and he giggled.

"you don't know how adorable you look right now honey. and, im brushing my hair. i knew you'd get sad so i woke up early to do it."

kazuha rubbed his eyes and randomly went back to sleep. and he woke up after a few minutes again to see his husbands face rigjt infront of him which made him jump.

"hm?~ you okay? i felt bad.. im done with my hair so open your arms!"

kazuha opened his arms in curiosity and heizou jumped in them surprisingly and hugged kazuha :)

"will you marry me?" -kazuha (teehee)

since kazuha and heizou have been dating for quite a long time, kazuha had been wondering if it had been time to finally propose to heizou, he kept on overthinking about it if he would say no or yes. so we went to the traveller for some advice while heizou was at work. (aether btw)

"traveller! traveller! paimon got food earlier today and wanted to share it with you!"

"aw, thats very sweet of you paimon."

kazuha was wondering around until he finally found the person he'd been waiting for. he slowly approached and sat on the bench with them.

"oh hey look! its kazuha! hii!"

aether had just finished his food and he turned to kazuha and greeted him and they started to talk.

"so, as you know, heizou and i are have been in a relationship for.... quite a long time. so i've been wanting to propose to him but im not sure when and how and where to do it... so i came to you for advice."

aether and paimons eyes widened right when they heard 'propose' they were excited that they were the first ones to hear about it! paimon started jumping in the air like she usually does and listened in.

"how about you take him to a field and say its a little trip or something and after some time you can tell him to turn around and y'know... do your part."

at the field trip place thing (ik i skipped alot of parts but i dont wanna make it long)

the couple had just arrived in the field and they were amazed. heizou started jumping happily and he was making noises meanwhile kazuha was giggling at him.

"does it look beautiful darling?"

he asked, hoping for a reply knowing that heizou was busy enjoying the scenery, now that he thought about it, heizou clearly thought it was beautiful.

heizou turned around and jumped in kazuhas arms.

"ofcourse i find it beautiful silly!!"

propose partt

"hey.. sweetheart... mind turning around for a second? i'll tell you when to look."

heizou was confused, he thought kazuha was gonna do what he thought he was gonna do, but it was too good to be true. so he denied his thoughts and obeyed.

kazuha went one one knee and he pulled out his ring.

"turn around."

heizou turned around a tears immediately formed in his eyes and he covered his mouth with his hands.

"will you make me the happiest man on earth, shikanoin heizou?"

heizou ran towards kazuha and hugged him tightly.

"ofcourse i will!!"

and they lived happily ever after :')