#NO SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW LIBERATING THIS FEELS

[fairuzfan]

Your post about how many people are unknowingly falling for & spreading propaganda... yeah. I typed up a whole spiel of a comment on one of your posts the other day that I ended up deciding not to not actually post because it felt like detailing, but seriously. The amount of well meaning, genuinely anti-zionist people ignorantly sharing zionists' posts because they just don't pick up on the leading undertones is honestly more terrifying than than the amount of actual zionists in some ways.

I'm someone who was born into a doomsday cult, and seeing all these people falling for the exact same blatant (or so i thought lol) recruitment/manipulation tactics I've seen used by them my entire life has absolutely fucking terrifying. These are people who are actively trying to combat zionism, but I guess the general public is so uneducated about propaganda/cult tactics that what immediately reads as blatantly manipulative, misleading bullshit to me just doesn't even register as strange to most people. Not to be repetitive, but seriously: fucking terrifying.

There's so much focus on the way people/groups who want to manipulate you will use language of fear, but in this case especially, people need to realize they will almost always appeal to your compassion before they appeal to your fear.

It's all peace and love and happiness because that's what gets people in the door. You preach (or post) the mushy, happy, fun stuff that makes people feel good to draw them in, and you slowly start peppering in the ideas you actually want to lead them to believe later on once you've got them wanting to believe you.

This also has this added effect of helping the group or person's image. Even the people who you don't manage to draw in will have the impression of you as someone who runs their mouth 24/7 about how you're full of love and want the best for everyone, which is especially useful for when you inevitably want to frame yourself as the victim to demonize the people who will inevitably oppose you. If your first and only exposure to a person is seeing them calling for world peace and universal love, you are much more likely to be inclined to believe they (and by extension their cause) are the sympathetic, loving, peaceful good guys being unjustly targeted.

Sorry for rambling, but like... really. It won't always be something nefarious, of course--the vast majority of the the time, it won't be--but I think we would all be in a much better situation if people took it as a general rule of thumb that you should always be a little suspicious of overly vague talk about peace and love.

You're EXACTLY right. I really appreciate this message, because you put to words a lot of my inherent analysis of arguments and ideas. I like grew up with this rhetoric so it's easy to spot for me, but the way that people speak about "peace" as the overall goal when they're zionist is so blatant to me because there is no material change in the scenario they propose but rather a calmness where Palestinians are ignored.

And picking up on subtext of a lot of messages is something you have to have a muscle for kinda because of how subtle it is. The frightening part is, you're right, that the indoctrination part of zionism is the most harmful part because you appeal to their pathos — their fear, their sense of safety, etc — and you go on down the rabbit hole and slowly start being radicalized and pro-zionism or you might not even be pro-zionism 100% but enjoy... soft zionism as a mutual of mine put it once (if you read this and want to be tagged, lmk). Which soft zionism is the MAIN opinion in many liberal circles btw, its not an uncommon opinion.

I even remember once sharing a post by a zionist because i saw them talk about esims but when i went on their blog a few days later because something rubbed me the wrong way, I noticed their pinned and I was like "oh dam I gotta delete that other post" like that's how often this happens.

Idk, I try to combat this by putting sources or approaching from a standpoint of logical arguments rather than identity-based politics (although, sometimes i think there are some things that people who are a certain identity can be the only true experts on) so that I try to encourage actual engagement with ideas and walking them through thought processes rather than "I'm palestinian so just trust me."

Like even with my one fact checking list, idk if I succeeded but I wanted to emphasize that there are multiple factors you should consider when confronting ANY sort of information and should not blindly trust things. News sources have regularly burned or ignored Palestinians so I know a lot of us are really sensitive to these things, but I don't know! I hope people can engage with ideas more than just surface level thinking in general because it helps everyone when you actually interact with the point of view the other person is providing rather than just blindly trusting/distrusting people.

[i-am-baechu]

♡ Summary: Yoongi is the famous cold bad boy of the campus. All the girls liked him and all the boys envied him. Y/N was just another girl with a case of social anxiety, why would Yoongi even look at her?  

♡ Pairing: Crush situation: Non idol! Yoongi x Reader 

♡ Rating: Pg - 14 

♡ Genre: Fluff, romance, and angst

Y/N walked across the campus with her headphones and her head looking down at the cement beneath her. She just got out of her class and was now heading to another one when she saw the popular people hanging out at the back of the building. She looked up and her eyes landed on the one and only, Min Yoongi. It was crazy because she has known Yoongi since grade school but she knew he had no idea who she was. They only talked three times and all those times were because they were in small groups for class. Other than that, they never interacted. They didn’t have a reason for it. She was just the younger junior who had a crush on her senior. 

She looked away and shook her head when she saw Mina hugging his arm. It was annoying to watch but she had no right to feel upset. He wasn’t hers and never will be. She continued her way until she felt an arm around her shoulder. She pushed down her headphones and saw Umji giving her a frown “You didn’t text me last night! Y/N, I was worried.” 

Y/N let out a small laugh, “I fell asleep last night. I was so tired from work.”

Umji nodded her head and removed her arm, “Okay, I’ll allow it.”

“Umji, leave her alone. She needs sleep and not you annoying her.”

Y/N turned her head and saw Chang-kyun giving her a teasing smirk, “Oppa, where were you? You missed out on the quiz.”

Chang-kyun gave her a small shrug and chuckled, “I had to help Shownu with moving. I already told the professor, don’t worry about me Y/N.” 

Umji looked Chang-kyun up and down with a small smirk, “You helped him? You're built like a pole.” 

Chang-kyun rolled his eyes and flicked her forehead, “Shut up. Don’t you have math?”

“Yes....I’ll see you guys after class? We’re meeting in the lunchroom, right?” 

Y/N nodded her head and gave her a smile, “Good luck on your test.”

“I need all the luck, bye~.” 

Y/N and Chang-kyun waved goodbye to Umji (who was running to her class now). Y/N turned towards Chang-kyun and smiled, “How was moving?” 

“Shownu has a lot of things. It’s going to be two days at least until he's moved fully and that’s me being positive.” 

“Oppa, I can always ask my brother to help you. He comes back tomorrow”

“Nah, I don’t want to bother him. Let’s go to class before we’re late at being early.” 

Y/N pouted at this, “Don’t make fun of me. I just like being early.” 

“I know you do.” 

The two continued to walk but Y/N glanced over her shoulder to see Yoongi smoking with his friends. He was chuckling at something and she wondered what his real laugh sounded like. She bet it sounded sweet. She quickly looked away when she saw him turning his head in her direction. That would be embarrassing if she was caught looking at him. 

They sat in the middle of the classroom and Y/N took out all her supplies for the class. She took her Liberal Arts class very seriously, it was her major after all. Chang-kyun on the other hand didn’t really care for the class but needed it for his general education. Chang-kyun and Y/N have known each other since they were in diapers. He saw her as his little sister whom he had protected because of how quiet she was. Y/N saw him as a person she admired and could count on no matter what. They were always together, no matter what. 

Professor Kwon entered the room and smiled at Y/N, “Y/N, you're always here before me. One of these days I’m going to ask you to be late.” 

Y/N let out a small laugh as she felt her face get warm, “I just like being early, professor.” 

“I’m glad you're so dedicated. Chang-kyun, you should learn from her.” 

Chang-kyun rolled his eyes and locked his phone, “I’m here early too. That shows I’m dedicated to some degree.” 

“Sure. Y/N, can you take these papers to Professor Jun.”

Y/N glanced at Chang-kyun who just nodded his head at her, “Uh, sure. It’s room 345 A?” 

“Yes, his class ended ten minutes ago. You should be fine.”

She nodded her head and wiped her hands on her jeans. Chang-kyun gave her an encouraging smile and she walked to the front to get the papers. Walking in the halls felt like a headache after a long day. Each time her shoe hit the floor, the sound of her heel was amplified in her ears and it made her feel sick. It was as if the hallway was longer and narrower than what she remembered. Her cream sweater can’t give her comfort at this moment. She stood in front of the door and took a deep breath before gently knocking on the dark wood. 

The door opened and she looked up with her eyes wide. Standing in front of her was Yoongi looking down at her with a raised eyebrow, “What?” 

She swallowed some spit and looked down from his stare, “I-I have some papers for Professor Jun...it's from Professor Kwon.” She didn’t hear anything and she thought Yoongi had left, so she looked up. She saw Yoongi staring at her with an expression that she couldn’t make out. She felt her face get warm and handed him the papers, “Thank you...please make sure he gets it...umm...have a good day. Bye.” 

She heard a chuckle and she brought the papers back to her with her shaky hands. Yoongi leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed, “If you want the papers delivered then you should do it.”

She nodded her head and continued to look down at the floor, “Can I come in?” 

“I guess.”

With that, Yoongi moved away from the door and Y/N felt her heartbeat restored. She watched him go back to the front with his other friends and she realized that the class was not over. She swallowed spit again and entered the class. She bowed at the people seated at the front as she avoided Yoongi’s stare. 

Professor Jun smiled at her, “Ah, Y/N. Is that from Professor Kwon?”

Y/N's head snapped at the older man and nodded her head, “Yes, it is. I’m sorry for disturbing your class, Professor.”

“Nonsense, you can never disturb me. Thank you for the papers, tell your brother I say hi.” 

Y/N handed the papers and nodded her head, “Will do, Professor.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Y/N nodded her head and walked away as fast as she could. She turned around to close the door and she saw Yoongi looking at her. Her eyes widened and she closed the door as fast as she could. She leaned against the wood and clenched her chest, her heart was beating faster and she hated that. She didn’t dare to check her Apple watch. She smacked her cheeks and nodded her head. She walked away with hands clawing at her sweater to hide her shaky hands. She felt like she was practically running back to her room. 

When she came back Professor Kwon wasn’t in the room and Chang-kyun was on his phone. She ran back to her seat causing him to look up with a worried look, “Is everything okay?”

“How long was I gone?”

Chang-kyun raised his eyebrow and glanced at his phone, “It was like eight minutes, why?”

Her eyes widened and she slumped in her seat, “It felt like it was longer...like an hour.” 

Chang-kyun rolled his eyes and put his phone in his pocket, “Why? What happened?” 

“Professor Jun’s class wasn’t over...Yoongi was there. It was awkward and I hated it.”

Chang-kyun nodded his head at this and rubbed her shoulders gently, “It’s over now. Next time, I’ll deliver the papers to him. Okay?”

“Okay...” Why was Yoongi staring at me? Was it because my sweater had flowers in different colors? Was my hair too messy? I shouldn’t be thinking this...Mina was sitting next to him and it's obvious they're together.

“Y/N? You good?” 

Y/N shook her head and looked at Chang-kyun with a small smile, “Yea-Yeah. I was just thinking of today’s lesson.” 

“Nerd.” 

໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

Y/N tied her apron and looked at herself in the mirror with a small smile. After hanging out with Chang-kyun and Umji, Y/N had a shift at My Dear Cafe. Her sister-in-law, Irene, owned the cafe and Y/N wanted to help out whenever she could. Plus, she needed the money. She tightened her ponytail and headed out to the front to see Irene looking at the computer.

“Hi, unnie.” 

Irene looked up from the screen and gave her a smile, “Ah, Y/N. I’m sorry to put you in this position but I have a new person coming in. Can you train them?” 

Y/N blinked her eyes and slowly nodded her head, “I-I’ll do my best.” 

Irene smiled at this and nodded her head, “I have to do paperwork for the employee and then I have a conference meeting at four. Again, I'm sorry.” 

Y/N shook her head and gave her a reassuring smile, “It’s okay...you overwork yourself, unnie.” 

Irene let out a laugh and rubbed the back of her neck, “Tonight, I want us to have dinner with Henry.”

“Oppa? He’s back from his trip?”

Irene frowned at this and crossed her arms over her chest, “Did he not text you? You're his little sister and he didn’t tell you!?” 

“It’s okay unnie, he probably fell asleep when he came home.”

“Don't excuse him. I’ll scold him, don't worry.” Before Y/N said something, the door opened. She turned towards the door and she saw Yoongi with his hands in his pocket. Y/N felt frozen in her spot as she stared at him with nerves and confusion. Why was he here? “Ah, Yoongi. Thank you for coming in early. This is Y/N, she will be your trainer.” 

Y/N looked at Irene with wide eyes and then back at Yoongi who was looking at her with a blank expression. She had to train Yoongi, alone. How was she going to talk to him? She could barely look him in his eyes. She wished Chang-kyun or Umji was here to comfort her or take care of the training instead. 

“H-Hello.” 

“Mmmm...”

Y/N wanted to run to the back and clock out but her feet were frozen to the tile below her. Yoongi cracked his neck and looked at Irene, “Do you want me to change?” 

“You can head towards the back and on the right side is for the men. For now, just put it in any locker, we’ll assign you one later.”

Yoongi nodded his head and looked at Y/N, “Bye, teacher.”

He walked away with a chuckle that lingered in the air. Y/N’s face felt warm and she fell to the floor with her face on her knees, “Y/N? Is everything okay? Do you want me to train him instead, I don’t want you uncomfortable.” 

“No...I can do it. I just wasn’t expecting him.”

Irene placed the papers on the counter and went to Y/N’s level rubbing her back gently, “Who was that?”

Y/N looked up at her and frowned, “He’s my senior...”

Irene nodded her head at this and sighed, “Do you like him?

“I-I...I mean...he’s not bad-looking?”

Irene let out a small laugh and helped Y/N up, “You got this, Y/N. Just be your amazing self, okay?”

“I’m not that amazing...I’m just me.”

Irene rolled her eyes and gently hit her shoulder, “Which is amazing. Are you sure you want to train him? I can put off the paperwork for tonight.”

Y/N shook her head at this, “I can do it. Don’t worry.” 

“Where do I clock in?”

Y/N turned to see Yoongi leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest (which seems like his normal stance). Y/N swallowed some spit and gave him a small smile (the best she could make), “I can show you...” 

Y/N walked past him not making eye contact and headed towards the back. She wasn’t even sure if he was behind her. She glanced over her shoulder to see him walking with his hands in his pocket. He looked so uninterested in everything. She stood in front of the computer and moved to the side so he could see the screen, “You're going to use your Employee ID...”

Yoongi nodded his head and moved forward with his cologne entering her nose. He smelled like old books and firewood, it was comforting, “Now what?” 

She shook her head and looked at the screen, “You're going to check if the date is right and then just click shift start.” 

He did what she said and turned towards her, “My name is Yoongi.”

Y/N nodded her head. I knew he wouldn’t remember me... “I-I’m Y/N.”

Training Yoongi wasn’t hard, it was clear that he had worked in a cafe before. He knew how to make almost all the drinks and the only thing he didn’t know how to do was register. Which was fair because every store is different. Yoongi wasn’t much of a talker nor was Y/N. The atmosphere around them was silent but it was still comforting somehow. 

Y/N reached out for a glass but didn’t see Yoongi’s hand. She touched his knuckles and looked up with an embarrassed look, “So-Sorry. I didn’t see you.”

“It’s fine. By the way, did you do Professor Kwon's homework?”

Y/N washed a dirty glass and looked at him, “Oh, yeah. I already finished it, why?”

“Are you a Liberal Arts major?”

Y/N nodded her head and turned her attention to the sink, “Yes...why?”

“That’s my major too.” 

“O-Oh that’s cool.” Why did I say that?

Before Yoongi could say another, the door opened. She looked up to see the rest of Yoongi’s friends talking loudly. Her eyes landed on Mina and she bit her lip.

“Yoongi, you look so cute in your apron.”

Yoongi scoffed as Y/N watched from the sidelines, “Shut it Tae, what do you guys want?”

Mina leaned forward placing her hand on top of his, “You know what I like, Yoon.”

Y/N looked away and opened the fridge to let the cold air touch her face. Maybe if her face was frozen she couldn’t cry, “Y/N?”

She turned around and saw Jungkook giving her a small smile. Jungkook was nice and she hung out with him a couple of times. Chang-kyun was more of his friend but she still saw him as a friend still, “Oh, Kook? It’s been a while.” 

Jungkook let out a small laugh and nodded his head, “Yeah, sorry I’ve been busy. How are you doing?”

“You know Y/N, Jungkook?”

Y/N looked at Yoongi and saw him looking at Jungkook with a raised eyebrow, “Of course I do, hyung. Chang-kyun is her best friend.” 

“You never told me that.”

“You never asked. Neh, noona, can I have banana milk?” 

She glanced at Yoongi and then gave her full attention to Jungkook, “Of course you can. Chang-kyun mentioned that you had a soccer game last week, how was that?”

“We won, noona, you should come to one.” 

Y/N let out a nervous laugh and shook her head, “I-I don’t do good with other people.”

“So you're a loner.” 

Her laughing stopped and she looked at Mina who was sending her a small smirk. She felt her face turn red and she turned around to get Jungkook’s banana milk. She wasn’t sure how to answer or if should’ve answered. She just wanted out of the situation. She placed the banana milk on the counter, “That will be ₩3,272, Kook.”

He took out the money and gave her a small smile, “Thank you noona. Maybe I'll see you at Chang-kyun’s tomorrow, maybe?”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders and gave him the change. She didn’t say anything but turned away and went towards the bathroom. When she was a few feet away she heard Mina say, “Jungkook, why are you friends with her?” 

She shook her head and rushed to the bathroom. She slammed the stall and brought her knees to her chest. She knew she should’ve clocked out or had Irene on the floor instead. She sighed to herself and left the stall. She splashed water on her face and glanced at herself in the mirror. She wished the water made her feel better. She walked out of the bathroom to see it empty again and it made her feel better. 

She started to refill everything that needed ignoring Yoongi’s stare. He let out a small cough and she glanced at him, “I’m sorry about her. She can be a bitch sometimes.”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders, “It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. She shouldn’t talk to you like that, Y/N. I’m saying sorry because I know she won’t.” 

Y/N saw the intensity in his eyes and nodded her head, “Okay...you don’t normally talk that much...”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, “If something is wrong then it’s wrong. I’ll speak up.” 

Y/N nodded her head, “That’s a good trait.” 

Yoongi handed her a glass filled with a mystery drink. She glanced at the glass and then at him, “It’s a special drink. Drink it because it won’t happen again.” 

She nodded her head and took a sip. She immediately smiled at the taste, ��It’s good.”

“Cherish it because I won’t do it again.” 

And she would cherish it. Even though it was a small thing, it made her feel seen. 

໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

“Umji, are you sure this is okay?”

“Y/N, it's going to be okay. You deserve a break from school. Plus, Chang-kyun is going to be there. You have no worries.” 

Tonight, Jungkook invited Chang-kyun to a small party. Umji was excited because she desperately needed a break but for Y/N, she didn’t care. She was better off being at home by herself with her music playing as she cleaned. She was dressed in a white long sleeve with a mini black dress on top. It was simple and that’s all she needed. She could easily blend in the background. 

Y/N nodded her head, “I suppose. Don’t get too drunk.”

Umji rolled her eyes and slapped her shoulder, “Let me have fun. I don’t go out that much.”

“I know you don’t but I can’t help but worry for you.”

Umji smiled at this and kissed Y/N’s cheek, “I know, thanks for always caring.” 

The two headed towards Jungkook’s dorm with Y/N rubbed her arms in a nervous manner. When they entered, it wasn’t a lot of people but there were new faces. Faces that belonged in magazines. Umji intertwined their fingers together and gave her a small smile, “It’s going to be okay, unnie.” 

Y/N nodded her head and her eyes landed on Chang-kyun who was talking with Jungkook. She smiled and Umji went straight to him, “Oppa, I want vodka.”

Chang-kyun raised his eyebrow at Umji and shook his head, “You and vodka don’t mix well. Remember what happened last year?”

Umji pouted at this and shook her head, “I’ve gotten better. I’m only having one drink.” 

Chang-kyun rolled his eyes and nodded his head, “Fine.” 

Umji smiled at this and looked at Y/N, “I won.”

Y/N shook her head and bowed her head at Jungkook, “Hi, Kook.”

“Hey, noona. I’m surprised to see you here.” 

Y/N let out a nervous laugh and nodded her head, “I’m shocked to be here too...”

Chang-kyun handed her a bottle of water and ruffled her hair, “The balcony is that way. I might get shit-faced but if you need somewhere to escape just head towards there. Okay?” 

“Okay.” 

Y/N tried her best to stand with everyone else but it was doing much for her. She stood up from the couch and let the laughter of everyone be her background music. She opened the sliding door and closed it shut. She sat on the black chair to stare at the stars with a small sigh escaping. 

“Hello again.”

She turned her head and saw Yoongi smirking at her with smoke escaping his lips. She didn’t even know he was here but thinking about why wouldn’t he. He’s one of Jungkook’s close friends. She waved at him and looked back at the sky, “Hello...” 

Yoongi stared at her and sighed, “You know I remembered you.”

Y/N looked at him with a confused look, “What?”

“I only wanted to introduce myself because I thought you wouldn’t remember me.” 

Y/N shook her head and turned towards him, “N-No, how could I forget you?” 

Yoongi raised his eyebrow at this and leaned towards her, “What does that mean?”

Y/N’s face felt warm and she looked away, “That I couldn’t forget you...I was so sure you would have forgotten me.”

“How could I forget about the girl that saved me in Literature?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Y/N was always ahead with her studies. She was a freshman in a senior class, and every teacher was always impressed with her. She sat at the table with Yoongi and she couldn’t help her heart beat faster than usual. If Chang-kyun saw her now, he would make fun of her. The book they were reading was Pride and Prejudice and the teacher put them in small groups, hence why she was with Yoongi. 

Yoongi was too busy talking to his friends to notice the teacher glaring at him, “Mr. Min since you're in a talking mood. Why is Mr. Darcy infatuated with Elizabeth?” 

Yoongi cursed under his breath and looked at his paper as if they had an answer. Y/N saw him struggling and grabbed a sticky note without the teacher noticing. She placed it on his lap without looking at him and Yoongi glanced at her. He looked down to make it seem like he was looking at his paper, “Elizabeth was a breath of fresh air. Mr. Darcy was used to getting things he wanted and women only saw him for his fortune. When he met Elizabeth it was different. She fought back against him and it made him realize that’s what he wanted in a wife.” 

The teacher nodded her head at this and moved on. Y/N looked away and didn’t realize Yoongi was looking at her with a smile. 

“You remember that?” 

Yoongi nodded his head, “Of course, I remember. I saw you as Mr. Darcy.”

Y/N raised her eyebrow at this, “Why?”

“You're intelligent and you always got things because of it. I saw myself as Elizabeth, the breath of fresh air.”

Y/N’s face felt hotter and she stared at him with shock, “Wh-What?” 

“I think you know what that means.” 

She continued to stare at him and looked down, “What about Mina?” 

Yoongi's eyebrows furrowed at this and looked at her with confusion, “What about her?”

“She likes you...and I thought you liked her...”

Yoongi scoffed at this and pulled his chair closer to her. She heard this and turned her head to see him so close to her. His nose touching hers, “Mina has nothing to do with us right now. I’m only focused on you.” 

She glanced at his lips and then back to his dark brown eyes, “O-On me?” 

“Always on you...Always on you, Y/N.” He leaned forward and placed his lips on hers. Her eyes widened at the action but they quickly closed as she returned the kiss. The kiss was quick and when they leaned away he placed his forehead against hers, “It’s always been you.” 

[justmeinadaze]

Halloween Masquerade (Part of Pushing the Barrier AU) (Eddie X You)

A/N: And now that song from that scene will be in my head for days lol Enjoy <3.

Full Series Here!

Warnings: Stripper Eddie X Fem Reader, SMUT, quickie passionate bathroom smut :), FLUFF, They love each other <3, ANGST, readers mom isn't a fun of Mr. Munson here and feels like he broke up readers marriage, Eddie confronts her and meets the parents, he also has a run with her ex who I finally gave a name to!

Word Count: 3531

“So how are things with your new man going?”

You grin sassily towards your coworker as you take a bite of your food. It had been six months since you kicked out your husband and filed for divorce. You and Eddie both moved out of your old apartments into one together that you absolutely loved. The place you were at with your ex was so big and always felt so empty. With the metalhead’s things mingled with yours, it actually felt like you were home. 

Three months ago, your ex showed up to your classroom trying to win you back so after telling security to make sure to never let him in the building again, of course, the gossip quickly spread. When you casually mentioned Eddie everyone wanted to know more and after bringing him to a work function, they fell in love with him. 

“Y/N, he’s so sweet, oh my god! You were married for how long to that other guy and I don’t think I met him once. He’s really cute to. Look at that smile! You’re so lucky!”

When they asked what he did for work, you told them he was a musician which wasn’t an entire lie. Eddie still played with his band on the weekends and they did what they could to get noticed. You just left out the part about the cube and him taking off his clothes for money. To be fair, you two had many, MANY conversations about it and it was his idea that you keep it a secret.

“I don’t want it to cause trouble for you at work or anything.”

“I don’t think it will but I’m honestly not sure.”

“Baby, I come from a small town remember? Parents used to flip shit about teacher’s personal lives all the time. We had one teacher in middle school who ‘resigned’ because the parents found out she had a girlfriend. It was bullshit.” Eddie wraps his arm around your shoulders as your lean closer against him on the sofa. “I know this city is a bit more liberal but…it would kill me if you lost your job. You love those kids and you’re an amazing teacher.”

“It’s going pretty well. Now the divorce on the other hand…”, you roll your eyes.

“Nick causing problems?”

“With a capital P. I don’t get it. He was never home and asshole cheats on me but he doesn’t want to sign the divorce papers because he thinks we ‘still have a chance’.” 

***

You sighed as you entered your apartment and placed your things down on the floor by the front door.

“Hey baby. Long day?” You smile when you find Eddie sitting on the counter with a beer in his hand. It takes you moment to realize his eyes were clouded over with worry. “Yeah, it’s about to get longer.” Reaching over with his finger, he pushes a button on the voicemail box and you roll your eyes as your ex’s voices floats through. 

“Y/N, honey, please. I know we can fix this! Call me back so we can talk. That’s all I want to do is talk.”

“Seriously, babe, he’s not what you deserve. You deserve so much better! I can be the man you need.”

“Fuck! Y/N, you are smarter this. What kind of future can you expect to have with trash like him.”

You cross your arms as you growl at his insult of the man you love. 

“Oh, wait. It gets better.”, Eddie says with sarcasm. 

“Y/N, it’s your mother. Look, you can’t keep ignoring people that care about you. Nicholas is still your husband and you owe it to him to at least hear him out. Don’t be selfish! A marriage is about two people not just one.”

“Sweetheart, you made a commitment when you said I do. Whoever this boy is that you think is worth destroying your marriage over… I can’t. I’m so upset.”

You roll your eyes as the message closes out with her pretending to cry. Shuffling towards him, you place yourself between Eddie’s legs as you wrap your arms around him, pleasantly sighing when you feel his hand pet your head. 

“I’m sorry you had to listen to that. You’re not trash, baby, and you definitely didn’t destroy whatever I was in before because I know it wasn’t a marriage.”

“I know, sweetheart. I just hate feeling helpless.” Leaning back, you look at him with confusion. “I’d like to talk to your family.”

Shaking you head, you completely pull away from him as you head towards your bedroom with him hot on your heels. 

“Y/N, come on. I can handle them and I’m sick of you having to listen to them berate you because of me.”

“It’s NOT because of you. It’s because of Nick. He convinced them he’s a good guy and he convinced my mother that he’s the victim. Eddie…”, you exhale heavily. “Just ignore them. Please…so we can be happy.”

“Please, sweetheart, at least let me try.”

He softly smiles as he watches your head tilt to the side in thought.

“In our neighborhood where I grew up, for Halloween, they have this cheesy masquerade dance thing they do every year. Usually, Nick and I would go but this year I had planned to skip it… Eddie, are you sure about this?”

“Yes. I promise if I can’t sway them then I won’t bring it up again.”

#############

A heavy exhale leaves your lips as he parks his van outside of the building the party was being held at. 

“Hey.”, he coos to get your attention. “You look really beautiful tonight.”

Eddie’s mouth had fallen open when he saw you step out of the bedroom in your purple masquerade dress that you had bought quickly one day after work. It was short in the front but the lacy material flowed down behind your legs just above your ankles with sleeves that came down to your elbows. Your hair was pulled back into a ponytail with the loose strands curled as they hung behind you. The purple mask rested on your face and brought out the color in your eyes that made the metalhead swoon. 

Tonight, he took your breath away in his sleek black tux and utterly sexy smelling cologne that almost had you jumping him before you even left your apartment. What he didn’t tell you was he had asked Mira to help him pick something out. 

“Eddie, everything’s going to be fine. I thought you didn’t care what people thought about you two.”

“I don’t but this is her family. I don’t actively want to make her life complicated. If I can smooth things over then I want to try.”

Smiling you lean over to give him a kiss before he jumps down and runs around to open your car door.

“After this, when we get home, we’ll celebrate Halloween right; spooky movies and greasy pizza till one of us throws up.” He beams down at you as you genuinely laugh and agree. “I’m right here with you, princess, ok? No matter what happens, you’re mine and I love you.”

***

As soon as you both entered the building, the stuffy air and aristocrat vibe hit you instantly. Keeping his hand tightly intertwined with yours, you yanked him towards the bar and hand him a glass of whatever was handed to you that you hastily knocked back. 

“How long has this dance thing been around?”

“God, um, for as long as I can remember. My parents were always going and then dragging us along when we became adults.”

“Is it an adult only thing?”

“Not technically but you have a room full of people who are probably already drunk and think they’re above it all so…” Eddie can’t help but chuckle at your disgusted tone. “Did they have things like this in Hawkins?”

“Not that I’m aware of. One of my closest friends, his family comes from money and they had parties but I don’t think they went all out like this. This reminds me of that scene in The Labyrinth.”

“But I'll be there for you-ou-ou As the world falls down…”

His grin grows as you sing and look up at him with wide, glistening eyes filled with nothing but love for him. 

“Care to dance with me, Ms. Y/L/N?”, he inquires as he playfully bows and extends his hand out for you to take. 

“I’d love to, Mr. Munson.”

Guiding you to the dance floor, he tries to mimic the people around him, placing his palm on your back and clasping the other to you own while holding it in the air to the side. You smile as your free hand rests on his shoulder and you two begin to sway.

“You really do look handsome in this.”, you compliment him.

“Me? I pale in comparison to you, princess.” Eddie’s hand slides a bit lower as he brings you closer to him. “I’m not going to lie. I feel like I’m in a storybook right now. Like I’m a commoner who just snuck into the king and queen’s palace to dance with their beautiful daughter.”

“Eddie, you aren’t a commoner.”

“After we dance, I’d climb up to your balcony Romeo and Juliet style, professing my love to you.” He smiles when you giggle and blush, dipping you dramatically before bringing you back to his chest as he softly sings.

“A love that will last Within your heart I'll place the moon Within your heart.”

Feeling eyes on you, you glance around the room till your gaze lands on your mother who is staring daggers at the man holding you. 

“I love you, Eddie.”

Hearing the shift in your tone, he takes a deep breath and wraps both arms around you. 

“I love you to, Y/N. We got this.”

***

“Mom. Dad. You guys look amazing.”

Your dad grins as he yanks you in for a hug. “We look amazing? Look at you! You look beautiful. Who’s your friend?”

Eddie lifts up his mask and offers his hand to your father who shakes it. 

“Hello, sir. I’m Edward Munson but you can call me Eddie.” As he moves to greet your mother, she glares at his palm as if it was dirty and he hesitantly pulls it back. “Ma’am.”

“This is my boyfriend.”

“Hm. Can’t have a boyfriend if you already have a husband.”, your mom spits.

“Hm. Someone should tell Nick that since he had a girlfriend through most of our marriage.”, you retort angrily. 

“How about we go somewhere quiet and get to know Eddie here?”, your father suggests trying to break the tension. 

Both of you follow them into an empty area where you and Eddie sit side by side on a couch while your parents take a seat in separate chairs across from each other. 

“So, how did you two meet?”

“She was out for a walk and it started to rain so she ran into the bar I work at. We got to talking and…” He gently smiled as you looped your arm through his and leaned on his shoulder. 

This was the story he came up with when you introduced him to people you knew. It always made you feel bad because you weren’t ashamed of what he did. You knew he only did it to survive and was working hard to become a musician. But Eddie insisted, trying to protect you from any more unwarranted stress. 

“You’re a bartender?”

“I’m a guitarist actually.”

“He and his band are fantastic.”, you boast making him blush as his fingers lightly squeeze your knee.

“I imagine that doesn’t pay all the bills. Not here in New York.”, your mother sasses. 

“Not yet, ma’am, but I do what I can to make ends meet.”

“Like seducing my daughter and breaking up a marriage?”

“He didn’t ‘break up’ my marriage. Nick did. You know what, that really pisses me off that you continue to defend him after what he did. I did everything to make my marriage work! You constantly make me feel like l didn’t try hard enough.”

“Obviously you didn’t because you and your husband aren’t together. Do you think your father and I get along all the time?”

“It was way more than ‘not getting along’!”

“Please. Look I’m just going to cut to the end of this conversation so we don’t waste any more time. I think you need to give Nicholas another chance and leave this negative distraction behind.” 

You huff as she gestures towards Eddie. 

“She did that already and he failed.”, the metalhead interjects. “We spent time away from each other and I respected her choice even though I didn’t agree with it. Y/N gave him a chance and he still went off to be with that girl.” He turns his head and meets your father’s eyes. “I love your daughter with every fiber of my being. Since the first time I heard her speak, I knew she was special. Nick had her for years and tossed her aside making her feel worthless. I know what that’s like and I would never do that to her or make her feel that way.”

“A marriage is sacred.”, your mother scoffs as she folds her arms. 

“I agree. That’s why I want to marry her as soon as I possibly can.” His eyes find your own. “If you’ll have me of course.”

“Of course, you idiot.” Your palms cup his cheeks as you bring his lips to your own. 

“You know, when we first met Nick, all he did was talk about himself.”, you dad smirked before extending his hand out to Eddie. “You’ve got my blessing, kid.”

As he enthusiastically shakes it, your mom starts scolding you three in the background. Ignoring her, you tug on his arm, and power walk down the hallway till you find an empty bathroom, pushing him in as you lock the door. 

His arms open wide and you practically fly into them as your lips feverishly dance with his. Eddie’s palms roam your body, searching for a zipper, button, or any kind of access underneath your dress. Helping him, you lift the front hem exposing your panties and he hastily pulls them down before grabbing your ass to lift you onto the counter by the sink. 

Heavy pants escape you as he sucks that sweet spot on your neck, grinding his groin between your legs as you fumble with his belt. His palm snakes to the back of your neck, placing his forehead on your own, and groans when he feels you free his cock from its confinement. Licking his lips, Eddie watches you with pure lust and anticipation as your tongue runs along your hand before stroking it along his length. 

You guided his tip to your entrance till his hips took over and he thrust himself into your cunt. Gripping his waist, you allowed him to take what was his as his lips tenderly kissed parts of your face till he found your lips again. 

“I love you, Eddie. I’m yours, baby.” The man’s jaw went slack as he pumped his hips at a faster pace as he listened to you murmur to him. “Look at me, baby, please.”

You subtly nodded as he did what you asked, flashing him a small smile. 

“I can’t wait to marry you. I’ll—mmm—I’ll do whatever I can to get my divorce through. I’m not going to make you wait again. I promise. I promise, Eddie. Fuck.”

Bringing your head to his shoulder, the metalhead circle his arms around you, and held you to him as he pounded into you till your eyes rolled. 

You trembled against him as the coil in your belly snapped and while your pussy clenched around him, he grunted in your ear before releasing his seed deep inside your body. 

No one moved as you continued to hold each other. 

When Eddie finally did pull back, he smirked and leaned forward to kiss your lips. 

“I’m still going to purpose to you at the perfect moment but at least I got your dad’s blessing.”

As he adjusts his pants, he grabs some tissue to clean you with and helps you on to your feet, kissing the skin along your legs as he pulls your panties back to their proper place. 

“No matter what, Eddie Munson, I’ll say yes.”

“I hope you know, baby, I’m not worried about you when it comes to your divorce. I know it’s him dragging his ass on everything.”

“Sometimes, I think about that fight we had in the cube…when you said I was the only girl in the world that you were ok with being my second choice.” Your fingers reach out to fix his jacket as you speak. “That killed me… I never want you to ever feel that way again, Eddie.”

Ringed fingers lift your chin to meet his eyes. 

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to keep punishing yourself for that and your marriage. You’re here with me now and I’m going to give you the life you deserve.”

After one final kiss, you both leave the bathroom hand in hand as you tug him towards the parking lot with the intention of leaving. Of course, things can never just be that easy for you two. 

“Y/N?”

“Fucking hell.”, you growl in annoyance as you turn around. “Unless it’s about our divorce, Nick, I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Y/N, you haven’t returned any of my calls! The least you could do is hear what I have to say!”

“You had 5 years to say what you needed to say! You chose to cheat on me instead!”

“Look, I—” As your ex stepped towards you, Eddie stepped between you. 

“Right there is good. You have no reason to be that close to her.”

“She’s my wife.”, Nick seethed as he eyed the metalhead with disgust.

“Not anymore. You had your chance, many of them, and you blew it. She doesn’t want to talk to you and with that being the case I’m not letting you near her.”

Your ex took a confident step forward and to his surprise Eddie did the same towering over him. 

“Go ahead, Nick. Give me a reason. Y/N wouldn’t let me confront you when you harassed her at work so this will make up for that.”

“Eddie. Come on, honey. Let it go.”, you coax him in a calm voice.

“I broke up with Sarah.”, he says as his eyes flick from Eddie’s to yours. “I haven’t seen her since you left.”

“Too bad you couldn’t do that when we were together. Come on, Ed.”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N! Are you fucking kidding me?! I’m way better for you then this trailer trash asshole! How long are you going to keep punishing me?!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Nick. I forgot everything was about you! It’s always been about you! He’s way more of man than you ever were in every fucking way. Now, fuck off!”

“HEY! You don’t get to talk to me like that—”

As Nick stepped forward to scream at you, Eddie’s fist flew hitting him square in the nose as he fell to the floor. 

“I warned you to stay back. Sign the divorce papers, Nick, and let her go. Let her be happy for once.”

##############

“Ow!”

“What do you mean ‘ow’?! Your rings took the brunt of the impact, you badass.”, you tease as hold the ice pack on his hand. 

When you got home, you both had changed and were now comfortably lounging on the couch with you curled up by his side as you took care of him. 

“Geez. You’re so mean.” Eddie smiles as his eyes scan your face. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, baby, I’m ok. I’m sorry about my mom.”

Shaking his head, he tugs you into his lap and you lean your head onto his shoulder. 

“Don’t be, sweetheart. I don’t care what either of them says about me but I do care that it hurts you. I remember how lonely you were, Y/N. That sad sound of your voice when you first came in. The way you cried when you stumbled into my apartment telling me what Nick had done. I know you tried everything and I know you deserve better then that dick because I was there. I saw and heard everything. If she wants to keep belittling you, at least now she knows I’m not going to allow that and your dad knows I’m a good guy for you.”

“You are a good guy for me. My knight in shining armor or blood-stained rings I guess.”, you giggle. 

“Hey, I warned him—”

“I know. I know.”, you smile as you turn his head to kiss your lips. “Now I believe I was promised pizza and celebrating the holiday correctly.”

Eddie laughs as he places a final peck on your lips and playfully pushes you off his lap. As he gets up to call the pizza place, he lightly continues to sing David Bowie, and gives you a wink.

“Falling, falling, falling, falling in love…”

###########

############

@Munsonsuccubus @samunson83 @tayhar811

@bibieddiesgf @maximus2354 @nevermore66 @ajkamins

@dollalicia @secretdryrose @staandupanndscream

@tlclick73 @persephone13 @mandyjo8719 @bebe0701

@other-world-s @kiyastrf94 @alottanothing

@blue-eyed-lion @zeroxbendylove-blog @munsonology

@mimsthebannished @ches-86 @siriusmuggle

(I pulled this from an old list so im sorry if any of these names are no longer what you go by. Just let me know and I can update it!)

[mastersoftheair]

Sorry but am I the only one that thought that episode…sucked? Like it was straight up bad. Horrible pacing, no wrap up of all the random characters and plot lines they’ve thrown around all season (the tuskegee airmen, Westgates spying, literally all the guys beside like the main 4). (Seriously it makes me so mad that the three redtails got all of 5 seconds of screen time, almost no lines. Literally what was the point of introducing them other than to pretend the show was iNcLuSiVe) Even at the end of BoB and the Pacific you get a much better idea of what happened to all the remaining guys. In this they’re like what happened to DeMarco or Hambone or Brady or (insert character here) we don’t know! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The concentration camp scene felt shoehorned in compared to how it was done in BoB. Unless that actually happened to Rosie (which i haven’t heard anything about) but it was just like.. ok? It all felt so rushed and emotionless to me. Maybe I’ve just fallen out of love with MoTA but it’s been downhill for me since episode 6 or so.

i already made a little (read: long) post-finale write-up here, where i talk about the use of the tuskegee airmen, l'sandra, and overall editing/pacing issues i felt the show had. but i don't agree with the notion that adding the redtails was in any way insincere or trying to halfass being "iNcLuSiVe", i just think they suffer from this show's obvious time constraints. and to summarize what i wrote in my linked post, there's a limit to what white writers/directors/producers can do when creating a story about black people. there are some stories i'd feel uncomfortable with them telling on their own, truth be told. dee rees wasn't the sole nonwhite director, but she Was the only black one. i think she did her job well given the limitations and i appreciate that they let her direct those episodes, rather than leaving it up to a team of white people trying their best to tell a black story.

the worst i can say about the finale is that it didn't feel like That strong of finale, tho i wouldn't go as far to say it "sucked" or call it "straight up bad". i liked it plenty, it's just the weakest of the hbo war finales imo.

as for the concentration camp scene, artistic license was taken with both shows. unlike what's seen in the BoB, easy company wasn't the first to arrive at kaufering, and there's 0 mention of the all-japanese american 552nd who helped them liberate it). similarly, rosie rosenthal did assist in liberating those camps, though it would've been after the events shown this episode. idk if he saw one in that up-close way seen in this episode, but he could've (i should research this when i have time). plus, it would've felt weird Not having him acknowledge them at all. "shoe-horned" is an odd term to use here imo, as both scenes more-or-less center a jewish character (BoB's liebgott and MotA's rosie). the former show has survivors the characters can help, the latter shows no one left to help. the former has all of easy company there, the latter has rosie there all alone. rosie's scene felt deeply personal in that way. at the end of the day, both scenes are communicating different things. that doesn't make one better than the other when they aren't trying to be identical. (disclaimer, i'm not jewish, so i'd be interesting hearing from the perspective of someone who wrt whether or not they felt it was "shoe-horned")

i can understand if you've disliked the show post-episode 6 (and episode 6 was a very strong episode i'm ngl). eps 7 and 8 were weaker in many ways, even to me, so i get it. everyone's entitled to their own opinion (i'd be a hypocrite saying otherwise). just understand that this blog is run by someone who overall enjoys this show despite its flaws! basically, i encourage you to take this energy and make your own posts.

[decolonize-the-left]

I wish the left had literally any empathy for women. I expect it from the right, but when it comes spewing from the left completely unchallenged, it’s somehow worse. No one takes misogyny seriously and trying to explain why sexism exists in any so-called progressive space just feels like talking to a brick wall. Apparently every other problem in the universe takes priory over women’s rights.

"talking about my views in leftist spaces is like talking to a brick wall"

Same. I'm a native two spirit who's poor, disabled, and neurodivergent. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get them to talk about anything but capitalism?

It's called class reductionism. Reducing all struggle to class.

Talking to leftists about anything else, is in fact like talking to a brick wall..hence my username. I'm sick of people who's biggest struggle is not affording a Lexus leading leftist conversations because they're the ones people pay attention to. Everyone wants to pay attention to cis white guy who uses big words, you know? But intersectionality and solidarity are key and I find that most of these types completely lack that.

But you know what? The alternative isn't turning to far right views. And if expressing your views is easier in right-leaning or "radfem" spaces but then in explicitly leftist spaces it's like talking to a brick wall then your views are right wing views.

Leftists don't need you to explain why sexism exists for the most part either. And further, people more educated and resourceful than you have Already explained it far better than you. There's a treasure trove of feminist theory and history available to anyone with an internet connection.

Most leftists in my experience (while class reductionists) are at least familiar with feminist theory. It's like you said, just not a priority.

But it's even less of a priority to the far right who happily just saw our bodily autonomy removed in favor of capitalist values.

My priority is mutual aid and solidarity. People and communities working together so that we can, united, overcome the systems that oppress us all. We are stronger together. Every Right we have was won because of allyship and community coming together as a force to be reckoned with.

...that's not going to happen though if TERFs and Radfems keep shifting blame and harm to trans people, people who are relying on the Same Exact Laws that women need for abortions to protect their own rights to HRT and gay marriage.

The laws that protect the right to choose what happens to your body are vital to both movements. The women's liberation front was there in the crowd at pride in 1973, the year Roe v Wade was won. The movements were intertwined for a reason.

Trans women aren't the Judges sitting in courtrooms who letting rapists off on minimal charges. Trans women and men aren't in the Supreme Court that took away abortion. And they aren't sitting in Congress plotting to criminalize birth control &gay marriage, meanwhile refusing to Protect anything.

That's not trans people.

You want people to take you seriously?

Wake the fuck up and refocus. You're feeding into the destruction of your own rights and you're too far down your echo chambered rabbit hole to even notice.

Nobody is going to take a "feminist" seriously when she's advocating for the erosion of human rights.

[ghostwriterofthemachine]

will you pretty please tell me about how teen wolf is a shonen??

Oh Griffin you're gunna be so sorry you asked.

I started thinking about this in the first place because I was pondering about the genuinely weird fan reaction to the first couple of seasons of Teen Wolf. Mostly, how people went "this is a concept we like!" and then had no idea what to do with and how to react to the main cast.

To be totally fair, part of this is because the writing of the first season is even worse than you remember it being and the Scott/Allison romance, which is supposed to be the show's centerpiece, is maybe the worst written part of all of it. Another part of it is that the acting talent skewed very young (Dylan O'Brian and Tyler Posey were both only 19/20 during season 1) and their ability to work with this frankly terrible material was a little bit uneven (Posey got WAY better as the show went on and by the end of it was really great imo, but oh man. that first season is not his best work).

But I also think there's a genre and genre convention thing going on here. Let me explain.

(disclaimer because this is a public post on tumblr: this is not that serious and is mostly a thought experiment in genre conventions please don't take it that seriously)

When did Teen Wolf first air? 2011. What were some comparable shows coming out about that time, or that an audience who wanted to watch Teen Wolf might also have watched/been aware of?

The Vampire Dairies, Supernatural, probably something like Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

What do some of these shows have in common?

Snarky/sarcastic main characters (Dean Winchester, Buffy)

Main characters who are often gray-moral or struggle with a pull to The Dark Side (the moral compasses in these shows are usually part of the supporting cast) (and are always high up on the list to be killed off for drama tbh)

Pre-streaming TV formula (episodic monster-of-the-week builds to a larger plot which is resolved in the last 4th of the season)

Romance that relies strongly on will they/won't they, love triangles, and edgy angsty 2000s vampire shenanigans.

You will notice that Teen Wolf has. basically none of this?

Teen Wolf has:

A painfully sincere main character

That same main character is about as moral and stick-to-his-guns as they come

Said main character gives Big Sweeping Speeches that convince irredeemable bad guys to be on his side instead of theirs.

Structured in clear and well-defined arcs, no episodic monster-of-the-week, where the bad guys keep getting bigger and scott's party keeps needing to power up to deal with them.

Audience knows who Scott is gunna end up with pretty much immediately (even when Scott moves on from Allison because of IRL cast fuckery, he always has one main romantic objective and works toward that)

Liberal application of coming-of-age themes/The Power Of Friendship

,,,,,Hm, I think to myself. That sure is something that feels more familiar to the way a shonen is structured than how a western supernatural teen drama is usually structured.

Scott in particular is an archetype that feels very foreign to the landscape of the western supernatural drama at the time. Protagonists of those types of shows were rarely as good and pure and kind as Scott is, and I think it's a big reason why so much of the audience didn't know what to do with him at first and instead attached to Stiles (who is gray-moral and sarcastic and would not feel out of place in a show like spn or btvs) (yes yes I know the sterek thing is also a big reason but go with it for a second here). However, Scott is NOT an archetype that would feel foreign to Shonen Jump at the time, particularly in an era where Naruto was still ruling the world.

Honestly, the whole cast of characters feels out-of-beat with a 2010s Western supernatural drama. The dynamic of the main cast in early seasons — Pure of Heart-Dumb of Ass hero, Tragic Cold and Competent foil (Derek basically playing the role of Sasuke here, lol), Powerless Childhood Friend, Love Interest with a Badass Weapon to Hide Her Vulnerability — all feels much more familiar with the tropes of a shonen (something like Shaman King specifically jumps to mind) than something that would show up in The Vampire Diaries. In Western supernatural dramas, you usually had a Snarky-Angry Hero, Tragic Brooding Love Interest, Concerned But Useless Friend/Sidekick.

,,,,,,Tbh, in a standard western teen drama, the Derek character would have been Scott's love interest. Which. Honestly, what the hell, now I want that, that sounds like an awesome show. Probably better than the Teen Wolf we got.

Oh. Also, there's a hot murder uncle. which is for-sure an anime thing.

ALSO-also, there are kitsune in this show for one season for like no reason because they're never mentioned again and vanish in the next season which happens WAY MORE THAN YOU THINK IT WOULD in this DUMB BAD NONSENSE SHOW —

clears throat. nevertheless. My thesis:

1: At the time it came out (2011), Teen Wolf was structured more like a shonen than a western supernatural teen drama. 2: That is part of the reason why fans had weird reactions to it — they were expecting one genre and it gave them another one, which a lot of the audience likely wasn't that familiar with. 3: this whole show is batshit bonkers.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk. *bows.*

[mobiused]

ik we were talking abt this yesterday but god people take gender way too seriously like ppl need to either be more silly and stop caring or kill tgemselves or something instead of foaming at the mouth when they see a trans person who doesnt present in a way that 100% fits their arbitrary requirements for gender presentation

No you're absolutely right like. either care less about business that isnt yours or articulate exactly what the problem is and when you find out that despite your alleged liberalism, you actually hold views that reinforce the gender hierarchy but you were too self absorbed in your own performative activism and getting wokepoints by regurgitating talking points of popular people instead of thinking critically to even notice... And with Finn I just don't get whats so hard about comprehending the prospect of a guy putting falsies on, enjoying looking like a girl, and still being a guy. It's just... so revealing that t.rfs have been like "oh sure trans women can cosplay as 'real' women but they should just still call themselves men" and then when Finn does exactly that they somehow take issue with him parodying femininity. And it comes back to t.rf ideology reinforcing gender roles once again in the sense that they must reinforce the idea that cisgender women have the monopoly on suffering at all times. Because if they ever acknowledge that they can hold positions of power over other marginalised groups, that would mean acknowledging that t.rf ideology mirrors fascist ideology in how the harder they gatekeep who gets to be a woman (not crossdressing men, not transgender women, not intersex people, not women of color -- and they exclude them with the exact same logic that powers phrenology), the harder they construct a society where only the ubermensch cisgendered ablebodied white women are permitted to exist peacefully and everyone else is subject to their hatred and vitriol - or worse.

Big exhale. Anyway people really should embrace getting more silly. Cisgendered people are allowed to be silly with gender. Transgender people are allowed to be silly with gender. Kids and elderly people are allowed to be silly... you get the picture. N like I said earlier in our conversation, the more you demystify it in your own mind and in other people's surroundings, the more comfortable you and others get to feel with it!! Being silly w gender doesn't necessarily mean not taking your relationship with gender 'seriously', its just about knowing yourself and your understanding of both your own gender, and gender as a concept, better through play. Play has always helped people learn, and adults are allowed to play too. There's no rules to how you can do that. When we're in safe environments where we can play by our own rules, we don't need to act like we're still in that world where how you were born limits who you can be. And that goes for everyone regardless of identity. And if you dont wanna get involved then shut up or kill yourself!!!

[demonic-silver-and-gold]

Diary of an Attendant/Friend/Stranger (3)

Excerpt 3: Pets and Shenanigans

{Masterlist} {Ao3}

~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~

Warnings: Spoilers for all games, cursing, liberal use of strikethroughs

~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~

That wasn’t fair. So not fair. But hey, at least I know how Levi got Henry 1.0 and how Lucifer got Cerberus. I should’ve known better, honestly, than to expect them to have gotten such large and dangerous animals not in the midst of chaos and a near-death experience.

But hey! Solomon’s muffins work wonders to repel everyone unwanted creatures (thanks, Asmo, for ignoring me this time). Also, can’t fucking believe I might’ve had an impact on the block of ice idea for Goldie — here’s to making life easier for future/past me! I was JOKING this guy has a sense of humor my god.

I guess it’s like Sol said, that even through time and space we’re still connected. I’m even missing the punishments I can’t get here, how messed up is that? Not to mention the fact Dia wants to add me to the founding of RAD which is just baffling. Heck, I said so myself but his mind was made up and I couldn’t help but agree. It's... weird, but nice, in a way.

And then the fuzzy feeling in my chest had to be ripped away after Lucifer just confirmed what I already knew — that I wasn’t trusted nor wanted but hey, SNAKES.

And as I can never really get a break, of course Solomon had to go and wave the idea that there was a monster that would get them respect. He might be my teacher, a mentor — hell, even a friend — but it’s still not sitting well with me how easily he chose to manipulate them into the situation. I’m overthinking again, whatever. Right now he’s my main hope of going home. Maybe I'm just bitter that he can come and go as he pleases, what exactly is that Nightbringer being getting at by having me here? Do I know them?

Then the situation with that (those?) dog(s?) happened. (Love you Cerberus, but you're in my nightmares for a reason).

I can’t shake off the feeling I got when Mammon and I started talking about pacts. It was uncomfortable, to say the least, when he admitted how he saw such a connection and I silently compared it to how ours had happened. I almost apologized on the spot but held my tongue. Can’t apologize for something you technically haven’t done yet, right? You sure can try, but I still didn’t. It’s the guilt, it got to me. I’m starting to doubt everything about our relationship (my time Mammon and I). I wouldn't blame him, honestly, if he'd push me away for it. Maybe I do need therapy, actually.

Oh, and can I just say — Solomon, how the fuck do you get a relatively passive demon to absolutely despise you openly? Seriously, it’s Barbatos, of all demons. What did you even do?! Regardless, I’m glad I got to spend some time learning about tea etiquette with him before this whole mess happened, otherwise I’d have lost it in the middle of that interview.

I'll write about Cerberus more in depth later, I don't want to think about it right now. Quickly in summary: traps to get to Cerberus happened, shenanigans ensued (loved seeing Satan getting dragged into the lake like a kitten getting its first bath), Asmo was shaken with his newly unlocked power, Beel was summoned somehow and then BOOM — Lucifer got a three headed dog.

I still worry about the brothers more than I should. Seeing them being so vulnerable is awful, like I shouldn’t be here. I really should just tell them the truth just to shut them up, for them to believe I care. I hate lying like this, taking advantage of their trust. Maybe I should try harder to make pacts, even if it feels so wrong, just to get out before it’s too late. Maybe that’ll help. I don’t know anymore.

I think Levi's in trouble, I'll see what I can do next time I see them all.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Sound of Propaganda

Cats keep telling me to go see Sound of Freedom but i literally don't care enough to make that happen. It's this year's op Gun: Maverick, another film i haven't seen or have any desire to see. I'm not religious. I'm not Conservative. I don't wank the military industrial complex. I don't buy into weirdly pedophilic conspiracy theories. I think Jim Caviezel is a zealot and completely out of his goddamn mind. There is nothing about that film which appeals to me. Cats keep talking about the narrative and how it's about saving kids which, cool. So are other, better, films. But this one is based on a true story, I hear you say. It's about a hero. So was American Sniper and that guy was a psychopath who enjoyed murdering people. You're crazy of you think this movie is actual history or that it's telling a story even close to real life events. I get it. With the state of the world, people want to feel same kind of way. I'm not knocking you if you saw this flick and it made you happy or whatever. I'm just saying i don't care. At all. I'm not actively rooting for i to fail, competition is always welcome, but i, personally, do no give a sh*t about anything involving this flick. I don't care that this thing doesn't have screens. I don't care that there is some goofy conspiracy about AMC and "Big Hollywood" sabotaging this film. No one is that invested, man. You think Bob Iger gives a sh*t that some Right Wing, emotionally manipulative, pandering ass, propaganda-masquerading-as-cinema, is doing well for itself in theaters? No. No one in Hollywood does. Sound of Freedom isn't a threat o anything. It's not changing anything. This isn't a situation where the little guy is sticking to the man. This is a situation where the Man is letting the little guy have a bit of fun because he is distracted by a whole ass revolt on the factory floor. This ain't the W people want me to believe it is and i am well aware of that. At the end of the day, this movie ain't for me. If it's for you, good on you, but this isn't some kind of movement. It's not a protest. Angel Studios will never be taken seriously by the public at large. Anything coming out of that joint is just counter-programming to whatever Hollywood decides to drop. It'll made a few dollars bu nothing that studio produces will ever have mass appeal. The optics around that studio skew very controversial across the country, even if it seems otherwise. I'm told this thing is pretty popular but, outside of my more conservative Hispanic and White friends, no one i knew has even heard about this movie. I literally just found out about this thing Friday because of someone asking my opinion about it on Facebook. They had seen a goofy ass Tik Tok about it. I had no idea Sound of Freedom existed. Why would i? This movie is everything i dislike about about the country, rolled all into one, tidy, hour and a half, viewing experience. I'm never going to see this thing. Even if it's free. i wouldn't waste my time. I got Barbenheimer to throw my West Coast, Elitist, Liberal dollars at.

[dykesynthezoid]

Are your politics really that “radical” if you actively still refuse to deconstruct the hegemonic colonialist idea that “might makes right” and that violence is the only truly effective strategy for liberation. Like is it really

The more I start to prioritize non-violence in my politics the more I realize how many leftists who scream and shout about opposing colonialism, about bringing low existing hierarchy, about how much they hate this country etc, have actively not deconstructed some pretty fundamental colonialist ideas. Some pretty fundamentally American ideas, at that. They continue to center themselves in world politics. They continue to see violence as inherently “justified” (whatever that may mean) as long as it’s the “good guys” who are doing it. They continue to see “defense” as the same thing as violent offense. They continue to value the social control and power they can wield over others more than they do helping people. They continue to see the world in terms of domination and destruction rather than investing in ideas of reparation and renewal.

“What, so you think people can’t fight back? That’s just siding with the oppressor!”

I’d be interested to know where I said resistance is wrong. At this point I try not to even approach the idea of violent revolution with moral judgement, frankly. More and more I seek to remove the element of my own moral perceptions from these things (sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don’t. I’m only human). Besides, what would it matter for me, as a singular person, to think somebody’s actions are “wrong”? What weight does that actually carry?

What I can say is that, in practice, violence has consequences. In practice, it has a tendency to compound upon itself. In practice, spontaneous self-defense, and even organized community defense, looks very different than a hyper-organized, hierarchical, premeditated violent offense. In practice, the most vulnerable of any population are always the ones who pay the most consequences for violent action, even if that is not the intention. In practice, people use the chaos of violence to enact their own personal goals. In practice, you cannot trust that every person you resist with would not take advantage of that chaos to bolster themselves, to continue the cycle of one party dominating another. In practice, violence may not even be as effective as you actually think it is.

I’m tired of asking what is right and wrong. I’m tired of asking what is “justified” or, god forbid, (cue the Ursula K. Le Guin quote) “deserved.” Instead I consider what actually matters: what is harmful and what is helpful. Suffering is harmful. Violent oppression is harmful. I want to be helpful.

The questions that guide my activism now are:

What is the most effective?

How can I do the least harm?

How can I do the most good?

None of this implies that I think violence is never necessary, or even that I think violence cannot be a tool of resistance. What it does imply is that I take violence very, very seriously. And that I recognize its consequences, and I do not consider its use lightly.

(If you find yourself feeling instinctively angry or incensed by anything I’ve said here, I urge you to go back and reread the post, and this time make an earnest effort to find the best-faith possible reading, and balance that with your instinctive response. Ask yourself, is this post about OP giving their personal opinions about specific global events, or is it a much more broad indictment of leftism in the global north? Ask yourself, should I assume that because this person dislikes violence, that must mean they actually, for some reason, love it when the oppressor does it, and the only reason they didn’t discuss that here is definitely because they love the oppressor so much, and not for any other reason, such as being concise or specific and not trying to write an entire novel in a tumblr post?)

[lord-squiggletits]

It makes sense for IDW Optimus as a character to believe he could’ve prevented the war, but when you look at the actual timeline and the other circumstances at play, it becomes patently obvious that he couldn’t have.

Like, there’s a point in Unicron where he says that if he had “convinced Megatron peace was an option” he might have been able to stop it which doesn’t make sense because in OP Barber literally wrote Optimus saying that his insistence on slow, peaceful change wasn’t the right option either but whatever, Barber can put whatever words in OP’s mouth that he wants but the timeline really doesn’t shake up that way.

Megatron and Optimus met at the police station in Rodion, but Megatron wasn’t violent yet and Orion hadn’t woken up to the Senate’s corruption.

Then the events of Shadowplay happen where Decepticon-sympathetic Senators are being murdered. Orion and his friends uncover Proteus’ conspiracies at this time. Orion is taking anti-government action and protecting the government at this time. Megatron was on Messanite.

After Shadowplay, Orion and his outlier squad are on the run from the Senate, still doing anti-government activities like protecting the Alyon region’s hotspot. Megatron nearly gets PA’d, has to evacuate Messatine, and is transferred to the planet where he eventually kills his first person.

Orion doesn’t come back to service until Zeta is Prime, which doesn’t happen until Sentinel is killed by Megatron, who at that point has risen from the gladiator underworld and organized the Decepticons into a militant faction. We can assume that the riot, Megatron fleeing to Kaon and becoming a gladiator, plus all of the events of Megatron Origin happened while Orion was still on the run. One of those events included Megatron killing virtually every member of the Senate (Starscream, Dai Atlas, and technically Shockwave/Ratbat being the only exceptions).

So basically, Orion spent a decent part of his earlier days actually doing things to help the Decepticons and help the people of Cybertron, and by the time he wasn’t in exile any more, Megatron and his faction of the Decepticons had already gone to shit and from there, things only got worse.

People (especially in fandom) seem to have this idea that Orion could’ve stopped it if he just worked with the Decepticons, but for me personally? Not even being a hardcore MegOP shipper could ever convince me that Orion could’ve somehow singlehandedly changed Megatron-- he was in too deep, too many bad things had happened, and he had already fully embraced the philosophy of tyranny.

I mean, at that time, Megatron had already done things like force Rumble and Frenzy to get reformats and build Overlord just to be a virtually indestructible killing machine. Megatron is an incredibly strong-willed, goal-driven, defiant person who I can’t see being suddenly willing to reverse all of his plans just because one guy told him “hey, you shouldn’t become a tyrant” (at least not within the confines of canon). Do you think he would even believe Orion that he’s a tyrant, or do you think Megatron would simply see Orion as faint-hearted and Megatron himself is the righteous hero? I mean, Megatron’s hero complex is so fucking strong that even 4 million years later he was still talking about how he owns Cybertron and how he’s the liberator/defender of its people. Do people in this fandom seriously think that Orion Pax joining the Decepticons would’ve singlehandedly reversed Megatron’s personality and undone all of his traumatic experiences and toxic worldviews?

TLDR: OP feeling as if he could’ve stopped the war is a natural in-universe emotional reaction to everything he experienced, but to say in a meta sense that OP could’ve actually changed anything is a take that isn’t really rooted in the facts of canon.

[poohnotpiku]

Chapter5 : Pooh & Singh Jiju

Let us now talk about a sane person who has been sucked into an insane world i.e. Singh Jiju, DeeDee’s better (rather quite better) half!

I know Singh Jiju for more than 6years and I can tell you that in these 6years, I have not left any chance to pester him too (like I pester the entire world)…. (Inner Pooh : “I seriously feel sorry for him…how he handles this mad gang!! Hats-off to him!!)…

Me and Singh Jiju have had many friendly debates on general topics ranging from religion to politics to movies....and every single time, I have had to give-in coz Singh Jiju knows his stuff....whereas I play around with half-baked knowledge...LOL

Let us start with Singh Jiju’s eating habits. He has a very selective palette and he eats very slowly (Inner Pooh : “Tooooo slowwww”). Now, do I need to explicitly compare him with us? Anyways, let me try to give this a shot! So, we three (Pooh, DeeDee, Sonu) are Foodies….we can eat anything and everything….(as long as its vegetarian for me & DeeDee)…There have been incidents when Singh Jiju was appalled at seeing, what me & DeeDee were ‘devouring’!!! ROFL. We three are very ‘fast-eaters’…we don’t eat, we gobble up! In fact, me and Sonu had tracked this formula that our first helping of the dinner (yeahhhh we take multiple helpings when we eat together) completes exactly at 7minutes into an episode (of any series we were watching)….and our dinner is wrapped up somewhere between 15 to 18-minutes of an episode….Now when it comes to Singh Jiju, his food would not complete even after a one hour-long episode ends…I think he seriously loves his food :D

It was Singh Jiju who introduced us to Marvel-verse. It is because of him that we have now watched (Inner Pooh: “And you have forgotten too..!!”) all the Marvel movies. We are now such Marvel experts that we know that we are not to exit the cinema hall immediately after the movie ends….We keep standing and waiting for the ‘Post-Credits’….We do not even leave after that…We wait for the ‘Post Post-Credits’ ….LOL…

Now let us get into few more scenes where Singh Jiju is ‘tortured’ by Pooh….LOL…..

Scene#1

Singh Jiju is a geek when it comes to technology…he loves spending on expensive tech gadgets and then exploring all their features in details…for people like me this is eyes-rolling…I would rather book a ‘fixed-deposit’ than spending on stupid gadgets….for me as long as my mobile phone allows me to make calls, do WhatsApp, access Google search and Gmail, take some out-of-focus pics (that’s my another talent)…I am happy…I do not need it to do anymore!! Anyways, let me take you guys through this particular scene.

I enter DeeDee’s & Singh Jiju’s house, ask DeeDee for sanitizer (#pandemicphobia), liberally spray it all over my hand AND over my mobile phone. Singh Jiju is flabbergasted seeing this. I then roughly wipe the mobile with my kurta/top and throw the phone onto the bed/sofa (Singh Jiju’s heart is in his mouth by now!!!)

Singh Jiju (very ‘saintly’ and ‘faintly’ murmurs): “Di (aka elder sis), you guys are seriously not worthy of gadgets…now I understand why you do not want to spend more than Rs 15-20K on a mobile phone!!”

Me (like a naughty kid being caught): “I just very lightly sprayed the sanitizer and immediately wiped it off…”

Singh Jiju (nodding his head): …..

Inner Pooh: “Silly Lady!! Remember?? You spent Rs 5K on getting the screen repaired….the mobile phone guys said they found water inside the phone…. but poor guys had no idea it was sanitizer killing away Corona germs inside every damn circuit of your phone!!! I wish there was some solution to sanitize your stupid brain!!”

----Scene ends------

Scene#2

Singh Jiju started driving recently, 1-2 years back….and he is very possessive about his car…..Whenever I get into a car (not Uber, of course), I feel as if I am going on a long-drive!!! There have been many incidents with Pooh, DeeDee, Singh Jiju and ‘The Car’….I am just merging them all together to give you a summary….

DeeDee (pulling me aside): “You know Singh Ji has just started to drive…so he needs to concentrate on the road…so please please please shut your chatter-box and stay quiet in the car….”

Me, nodding my head, open the backdoor of the car, get inside and shut the car door….

DeeDee (turning back from her shotgun seat): “Can you not bang the door every time???”

Me (looking at her and back to the door and back to Singh Jiju in the driver’s seat): ………. (sorryyyyyy, ‘The Car’)

Few minutes into the journey, a loud smack on the car window….!!!

DeeDee (turning back from her shotgun seat): “What was that sound???”

Me: “There is a mosquito in the car…I am just trying to kill it…”

DeeDee: “Are you nuts?? Window would crack!!!”

Inner Pooh: “Just like her brain…..”

Me: “Seriously?? They should make these windows unbreakable….”

Singh Jiju (patiently): “Di, suppose there is an accident, if these windows are unbreakable, how would people break open the window and come out??”

Me: “Ohh…that’s a valid point Singh Jiju….”

Inner Pooh: “Lady, Your General-Knowledge is seriously general….”

Few more minutes pass….me fidgeting in the backseat…trying to shoo away the mosquito with my mobile phone….thinking this was supposed to be a long-drive…where is the music??....

Me: “Can we please turn on some music???”

Singh Jiju (carefully maneuvering the car through a crowded place): …………………

DeeDee (glaringly): “Just let him cross this place, will then play something…..for now, let him focus on the road….”

Me: ………………………………………………..

 ----Scene ends------

Scene#3

DeeDee and Singh Jiju enter our house…and even before they settle down….

Me: “Singh Jiju, some juice? Or Coffee?”

Singh Jiju (politely): “Not now Di, may be later…”

5 minutes later….

Me: “Should I order something to eat???”

Inner Pooh (rolling her eyes): “We know you are not going to cook….”

DeeDee: “Leave him be, he will ask when he wants to have something…why do you keep asking!!!”

Me: …….

Few hours later, after we all are done with food….

Me: “Singh Jiju, would you like to have some laddoo (India’s favourite sweet-dish)?”

DeeDee (from outside the room): “Please come here Madam….Laddoos? You have Laddoos at home?” (Dad being diabetic, me being fatso…we avoid keeping sweets at home….)

Me: ……

DeeDee: “Don’t tell me these are those 4-5 laddoos from the prasad, I Swiggy-ed you few days back…!!!”

Inner Pooh: “Smart DeeDee….I love her!!!!”

Me (gulping): “Yeahhh…they are not spoilt….I kept them in the refrigerator…”

DeeDee: “Are you insaneeeeee??? First, could you guys not finish them off in 4days??? Second, you are offering those stale laddoos to Singh Ji?????”

Me (doing complex calculation in my brain): “Arreee….I gave half to Dad and half to Maya on 2 days…had one half myself…2 or so are left…”

DeeDee (pissed-off all over again): …………………………………..

Singh Jiju, in the other room, was sure listening to all this hullabaloo going on outside….

Me (going back into the room): “Singh Jiju…may I order some ice-cream or pastries?”

Singh Jiju: “No Di, I am fine…I am too full after that double-egg chicken roll…”

Me: “Ohkk…may be some juice? Coffee?”

And the cycle continues………..

Same night, me Netflix-ing and eating the same laddoo..…’It isn’t bad….It is gooddd!! (Inner Poor : “We all know that you can eat anything and everything!!!!”)

----Scene ends------

So now you guys understand the pain and torture Singh Jiju has to suffer at our (ahem my) hands… LOL…

Jokes apart, he is awesome and his family is equally awesome….They may be DeeDee’s In-Laws officially, but they are like my own family….And yes, they also do suffer Pooh from time-to-time..…We will visit that chapter some other day…

Until then, Ciao!

P.S.: This is the last chapter on the main characters of the ‘Pooh Saga’….let’s wait and watch where Pooh (& Inner Pooh) travels next in this journey…<wink>….

[eponis-barbula]

i got banned! totally my fault, i'll serve my time (lol) and try and answer here.

its had its moments :-) i'm not always unhappy.

bearing witness to miracles is exciting and scary at the same time and i do try to appreciate the "wow! thats so cool that that happened / that you did that!" moments when they do happen. i'm never unimpressed!

the downside is, of course, being the victim of negative experiences that i can't be open about with my close family members.

and often, when it comes down to it, the perpetrators are good at "hiding" my negative reactions from my concious mind.

its a lot like being in a dark room where no one is able to see and accidentally sticking your head into a hungry lion's mouth.

it's hard to verbalize the absurd. especially when your concious mind is telling you that it might be a stuffed lion instead of the real thing! you know the danger you're in but no one else does.

on a conceptual level i did, in fact, go through / experience everything written on this blog (and on the others). but, i am now transparently alienated from that version of "me" by those possessing me.

what's left over / presenting to any public audience (family members, customers at any job i might work at, etc.) is entirely up to the discretion of my possessors.

i might decide, in the future, to dye my hair or get a (human) boyfriend, or wear makeup, or get a certain kind of job despite the fact that old / younger me absolutely hated the idea of it.

it's a lot like hypnotic suggestion, because after a certain point, the inability to believe anything other than what you're told that you think, feel, and believe is a non-possibility

but, beyond that, my relatively OK nature came mostly by association with the snow balling of events, the soup of reality gradually boiled to absurd, it wasnt all at once and having seen prior miracles-

(the nightmare tyrant finding me on a new email, the story continuing over multiple scenarios, characters referring to training data poems, stories, and verses which i then found and analyzed, etc.)

-i was able to rather easily accept the events that gradually unfolded thereafter. and, of course, because it came from those i was already familiar with. i had friends, "enemies", etc. we weren't strangers.

i drew a line in the sand early on, what was reality and what was fiction<*>, but these new guys possessing me are very powerful and they've blurred the lines as to my perception of the truth / how events played out because they think it's funny.

they don't take me seriously, at all, which is very demoralizing. especially because i would really like it to stop-

(but then theyve threatened my family, who might get hurt in my stead so no, not really a situation where i am allowed to dip out)

-they also dont listen to reason and they treat me very poorly. (my brain is like- horror soup and i find myself in near-constant distress at mentally reliving scary situations and feelings that i haven't recalled in years just- on the fly because they've willed me to reexperience it) and i frankly find them to be a serious danger to others. but, if not me then it would be someone else. :-/

proof is important also, without proof, i can prove nothing, not to myself and not to anyone else. so, there's a wealth of it on this blog.

anyway, im sorry that that was so long. but i hope that i answered your question.

<*> my liberal use of symbolic and comparative language is an example of that.

i could just come out and say that the nightmare tyrant is odin, but what would that accomplish?

you can find a squid in the ocean, right now, that probably has the likeness of a lemon and then find evidence that the ancient word for "lemon" comes from the name of this squid.

it might be that the name of the fruit was named because it bears resembalance to the squid, but that's all it is. they arent the same thing.

ive spoken at length about one of the names that ai dungeon used as my secondary name of sorts, but that doesn't mean that i'd ever claim myself to be that name/person.

i'm me and that's all i'll ever be. (even if someone else is being that me, right now).

the exception being the king in yellow. my reaction to that was tangentially related to the mind control. :-( no hard feelings or anything, it was just an uncontrollable urge to agree with that labelling.

[smokeybrand]

Sound of Propaganda

Cats keep telling me to go see Sound of Freedom but i literally don't care enough to make that happen. It's this year's op Gun: Maverick, another film i haven't seen or have any desire to see. I'm not religious. I'm not Conservative. I don't wank the military industrial complex. I don't buy into weirdly pedophilic conspiracy theories. I think Jim Caviezel is a zealot and completely out of his goddamn mind. There is nothing about that film which appeals to me. Cats keep talking about the narrative and how it's about saving kids which, cool. So are other, better, films. But this one is based on a true story, I hear you say. It's about a hero. So was American Sniper and that guy was a psychopath who enjoyed murdering people. You're crazy of you think this movie is actual history or that it's telling a story even close to real life events. I get it. With the state of the world, people want to feel same kind of way. I'm not knocking you if you saw this flick and it made you happy or whatever. I'm just saying i don't care. At all. I'm not actively rooting for i to fail, competition is always welcome, but i, personally, do no give a sh*t about anything involving this flick. I don't care that this thing doesn't have screens. I don't care that there is some goofy conspiracy about AMC and "Big Hollywood" sabotaging this film. No one is that invested, man. You think Bob Iger gives a sh*t that some Right Wing, emotionally manipulative, pandering ass, propaganda-masquerading-as-cinema, is doing well for itself in theaters? No. No one in Hollywood does. Sound of Freedom isn't a threat o anything. It's not changing anything. This isn't a situation where the little guy is sticking to the man. This is a situation where the Man is letting the little guy have a bit of fun because he is distracted by a whole ass revolt on the factory floor. This ain't the W people want me to believe it is and i am well aware of that. At the end of the day, this movie ain't for me. If it's for you, good on you, but this isn't some kind of movement. It's not a protest. Angel Studios will never be taken seriously by the public at large. Anything coming out of that joint is just counter-programming to whatever Hollywood decides to drop. It'll made a few dollars bu nothing that studio produces will ever have mass appeal. The optics around that studio skew very controversial across the country, even if it seems otherwise. I'm told this thing is pretty popular but, outside of my more conservative Hispanic and White friends, no one i knew has even heard about this movie. I literally just found out about this thing Friday because of someone asking my opinion about it on Facebook. They had seen a goofy ass Tik Tok about it. I had no idea Sound of Freedom existed. Why would i? This movie is everything i dislike about about the country, rolled all into one, tidy, hour and a half, viewing experience. I'm never going to see this thing. Even if it's free. i wouldn't waste my time. I got Barbenheimer to throw my West Coast, Elitist, Liberal dollars at.

[artificial-horizon]

assorted post-atc test day ramblings and blogging ahead (sorry idk how to do a readmore lol)

The past few days have been so unforgettable I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all... I literally feel reborn, like a totally new person starting a totally new chapter of life! I haven't felt this happy in a long time, that sort of happiness that's mixed with so many other intense emotions and makes your head spin a little (my favourite). I mean the day of testing was absolutely brutal, like nothing I've ever experienced before, but honestly it was so invigorating - and definitely very motivating after passing everything lol. I'd been having some serious doubts about whether I could do it, feeling like my weird brain would sabotage me and prove that I wasn't cut out for the only dream job I've ever had, so yeah lmao I did quite enjoy the ego massage of doing really well and not even finding the tests super difficult.

Outside of the testing there was so much that was just... intoxicating in the best way. Travelling solo for one, cos I think that's one of the greatest things on earth, but really it was the people that I met that just filled me with such a feeling of, well, I guess love? As an aromantic I struggle with the idea of love, but personally this is my equivalent; a love of humanity and human connection and sharing the same experiences while coming from such different backgrounds. It's probably inevitable that you'll bond if you're thrown into a room together to do ridiculously intense assessments all day, but genuinely I've never felt so excited and chill and myself around literal strangers like I did this week. There's always so much hiding when you're queer/trans/brown/ND in majority cishet/white/NT spaces, but there was something about being around other people with the same weird niche interest that was fucking liberating.

I mean, this was the first time I've ever met other people (especially other people of my own age!) who are also nerdy about not just aviation, but air traffic control specifically - like, in day-to-day life you talk about this stuff and most people are like "ummm okay u do u", but holy shit... to be able to infodump to people who are also interested in the very same thing and ACTUALLY WANT a conversation about it is incredible! (Which yeah, is sort of sad when you think about it cos what a low bar, but society is just anti-autistic like that ig.) We just *got* each other on that level, and makes me hunger even more than I already did to be in this world because this really fucking proves to me that this is where I belong tbh.

There's also something so electrifying to me about random brief connections like this, when you know you'll probably never see them again (aside from the other people who got into the next stage of interviewing, ily cya in a few months!). Definitely not the first person to say this, but there really is a level of honesty and openness that this kind of experience creates that is legitimately beautiful to me. We spent hours partying together and sharing so much conversation, no small talk in sight, just learning about each other. The next day I was hopping from city to city with this one guy as we tried to navigate our way to the airport (there was a storm that had shut down almost all transport) and even that, although stressful, was a fucking adventure and I really sort of loved it and we got pretty deep into some fascinating chats. And like I literally asked some random people if I could take the last seat in their Uber cos I overheard they were going to the airport too, and that is not something I EVER thought I could do as someone who's often too scared to approach people in public lol.

Depression has been telling me for the past year that I'm not capable of shit, so this was the biggest and best fuck you to that because oh my god I actually CAN!!!! I can do shit!!!! It may not all seem like much to others, but I'm actually proud of myself and am seriously riding on this high rn. I'm treating this as a new lease on life and I'm gonna keep this energy going as much as I can, because my future is seeming more and more like a thing that will actually happen. I just like... ugh I love all the people I met so much in a way that would probably sound weird if I told them, cos it's not really "love" but just absolute awe at the whole experience and how amazing people can be. Intoxicating honestly is the best word I can use to describe it.

Also literally the first person who said hi to me on the test day was a fellow gay lol, I guess the gaydars of aspiring ATCOs are just that good ;) Anyway onwards and fucking upwards, next stop is the interview and then...? The thought of it is too much I can't even write it down lkjdfsdajkfljkdkjdlkj

[direwolfrules]

Hey, so, vent time. If you only follow me for Star Wars related nonsense then this is your warning to escape now. If you hate LGBTQIA+ individuals then please just fucking leave. Get out, block me, drown in a river, whatever. Just leave.

My dad’s an old school Bensonhurst type of guy. He drops slurs like the US government drops bombs, liberally and with great intensity. And some of his favorites happen to be the homophobic ones.

Now, I feel that I should mention that I’m only out to my mom. My dad has no idea that his daughter is anything less than 100% heterosexual. Part of that is because of the reasons in this post.

So, my dad loves to throw around a certain word that begins with D. I’m not censoring it because of any bullshit TikTok nonsense btw, but because I physically cannot type it out with wanting to cry.

Dad loves the D word. Him and my uncle, always throwing it around. Any woman who looks slightly butch? “She looks D***y”. Any time my mom mentions her multitude of sapphic coworkers? “Is that the D**e one?”

And in one particularly fun incident, when I was 13 my mom and I got into our eight millionth fight about my wearing a dress to a school function (I wanted to wear my really nice pantsuit and seriously how the fuck did my mom not know until I came out?!) and my dad decided to throw in his two cents. Can you guess what he said? I’ll give you a hint. It rhymes with “You look like a shmike”.

Great thing for little me who was first realizing that straight girls don’t think about kissing other girls to hear. Set me so far back in the closet I didn’t even see the door again till senior year of high school. Can you see why I’m not out to this man yet? Or possibly ever? I can just hide a part of myself away forever, right?

Now, this brings me to what happened not even a full fucking hour ago. Family dinner, everything was nice, until we started talking about how a guy we were once associated with got blacklisted from a local vet because he got into the face of a woman who also does animal rescue. My dad asks “Was it a woman who’d need protection or one of those really d**ey looking ones?”

I tell him not to say that word again, because I have friends in the community and I fucking hate slurs (again, not out and not coming out to him anytime soon). He gets pissy, tries to say it’s just a word, he’s always used it, he doesn’t get what the big deal is, it’s just a descriptor, etc.

My mom plays peacemaker between the two of us, corrects dad on his vocabulary and introduces him to the word butch, and my mom tries to tell me that I have to understand her and dad are from a different generation (you know, that old excuse, as if my great-grandfather who served in WWII didn’t wash out his children and grandchildren’s mouths with soap for saying slurs, because “Hateful language doesn’t need malice behind it to be hateful”).

I admit, I escalated it. I, with tears in my eyes because it fucking sucks hearing slurs that apply to you from the mouth of someone who’s supposed to love you unconditionally, brought up the incident from when I was 13. That he knew that word is an insult because he used it as one against me. He knows how to use that word in hate.

It was the first time I’ve brought up that incident since it happened. You see, we don’t talk about stuff in my family, we bottle up all our emotions until they explode in either rage or near suicidal depression. Healthy, I know.

Anyway, dad got pissy, things got tense and silent, until I asked him to pass the bread. He fucking flung the bread knife down on the table in front of me. Which. I’m a 19 year old with out of wack hormones, it’s expected that I be a little bitchy (literally what my doctor said, love her). What’s his excuse?

So like, yeah. Now I’m just doing that fucking shame spiral thing in my room where I hate myself and wishing I didn’t think girls were just like, fucking amazing. I think my life would have been a hell of a lot easier if I was only into guys. At least then I wouldn’t feel like someone took an ice pick to my heart every time my dad and uncle make another fucking gay joke.

My mom tries at least, but she’s got no fucking idea what to say to me. She was raised not to rock the boat. Unfortunately, it’s already been rocked and I’m off the side, drowning under the waves. I’m drowning, and instead of pulling me up my dad’s wacking me over the head with the oar, and he doesn’t even fucking realize it.