#wlw vent

[cowbutchbait]

people only want me for my body :(

people want me for my body! :D

[theethlezprincez]

i think that comphet really has been really fucking me up lately lol

the way i would never marry or have kids with a guy is because i don’t like them help😭

i was certain that i don’t want kids or get married because i don’t like that but in fact i don’t see myself with a man lol i’ve never done

i want to marry a woman and have kids with them one day

i could never say that about men

woman make my heart go so fast and make me feel so safe and loved while men are just make me feel so on edge and fucked up all of the time

the only actual times i was actually in love were with woman

the only times i was actually heartbroken were also only with woman because i loved them a lot

this may sound so stupid but i think that my daddy issues have a role in this too..

i’ve been into girls since i was so little lol

i just need to stand behind how i feel and not try to change myself for others

and i definitely shouldn’t change just to please people into talking to me

THIS MAKES 0 SENSE BUT I NEEDED TO SAY THIS😀

have a good day bye😭

[ineffablemurderhusband]

sometimes i feel like I’m “not gay enough” to say i’m gay(I’m pansexual)cause when i catch feelings for girls its SOOOO much more different then when i like boys, with boys its exciting, if we accidentally touch hands i blush and start heating up, but when that happens with girls all that happens is i lose my breath, nothing as exciting. But then, i have a preference for girls(??)like, i need to get my shit together

[frankieplsrelax]

i am making a playlist and its called gay wavy and its every wavy feeling song that kills me when i hear it cause all i can think about is my straight best friend and her fiance who treats her like shit and how she used to get drunk and cry in my lap for hours about how she wished she had someone who treated her like i did and all the times she held my hand and all the times she ever kissed me just for fun and its okay we’re best friends we can make out all the times she held me and touched me like she loved me, slowly tenderly fingers drifting down my arms whispering in my ear about how much she wouldnt be able to do this without me and i am hurting and yearning because every time ive told her i love her so much more than she could ever know she laughs it off but i see it and shes told me so fucked up and scared that she wants it too and i hate it and i just want her to be happy and i will watch her marry him and i will sob when i see her in her wedding dress walking down the aisle like i sobbed when she tried it on for me as teenagers and i will stand there next to her while she marries him and i will be happy because i still have her somehow and i will watch her and help her raise children that will never be mine and hold her hand when he makes her cry like i always do

[xxpearlxx]

I told my girlfriend that I told someone else that we were together cuz I felt bad for not asking her first and it's done now I can't do anything to fix it. I've messaged her tons out of fear and she hasn't replied to a single one, I'm filled with fucking dread. I'm praying that she jsut fell asleep but I have no proof. I'm shit scared that she's gonna break up with me. We didn't even last a fucking month and I'm sitting here sobbing and venting on fucking Tumblr. I feel like a shit person and I feel like me telling her that I feel bad is gashlighty and that I'm hurting her. I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to leave her. Decpite the short time I love her so bad and I feel ripped apart from the possibility of a break up. I used to be the type of person that resented love but she drew me in and I fell in love and I feel like a fucking idiot. I know that my mind is probably lieing to me but I'm shit scared.

[direwolfrules]

Hey, so, vent time. If you only follow me for Star Wars related nonsense then this is your warning to escape now. If you hate LGBTQIA+ individuals then please just fucking leave. Get out, block me, drown in a river, whatever. Just leave.

My dad’s an old school Bensonhurst type of guy. He drops slurs like the US government drops bombs, liberally and with great intensity. And some of his favorites happen to be the homophobic ones.

Now, I feel that I should mention that I’m only out to my mom. My dad has no idea that his daughter is anything less than 100% heterosexual. Part of that is because of the reasons in this post.

So, my dad loves to throw around a certain word that begins with D. I’m not censoring it because of any bullshit TikTok nonsense btw, but because I physically cannot type it out with wanting to cry.

Dad loves the D word. Him and my uncle, always throwing it around. Any woman who looks slightly butch? “She looks D***y”. Any time my mom mentions her multitude of sapphic coworkers? “Is that the D**e one?”

And in one particularly fun incident, when I was 13 my mom and I got into our eight millionth fight about my wearing a dress to a school function (I wanted to wear my really nice pantsuit and seriously how the fuck did my mom not know until I came out?!) and my dad decided to throw in his two cents. Can you guess what he said? I’ll give you a hint. It rhymes with “You look like a shmike”.

Great thing for little me who was first realizing that straight girls don’t think about kissing other girls to hear. Set me so far back in the closet I didn’t even see the door again till senior year of high school. Can you see why I’m not out to this man yet? Or possibly ever? I can just hide a part of myself away forever, right?

Now, this brings me to what happened not even a full fucking hour ago. Family dinner, everything was nice, until we started talking about how a guy we were once associated with got blacklisted from a local vet because he got into the face of a woman who also does animal rescue. My dad asks “Was it a woman who��d need protection or one of those really d**ey looking ones?”

I tell him not to say that word again, because I have friends in the community and I fucking hate slurs (again, not out and not coming out to him anytime soon). He gets pissy, tries to say it’s just a word, he’s always used it, he doesn’t get what the big deal is, it’s just a descriptor, etc.

My mom plays peacemaker between the two of us, corrects dad on his vocabulary and introduces him to the word butch, and my mom tries to tell me that I have to understand her and dad are from a different generation (you know, that old excuse, as if my great-grandfather who served in WWII didn’t wash out his children and grandchildren’s mouths with soap for saying slurs, because “Hateful language doesn’t need malice behind it to be hateful”).

I admit, I escalated it. I, with tears in my eyes because it fucking sucks hearing slurs that apply to you from the mouth of someone who’s supposed to love you unconditionally, brought up the incident from when I was 13. That he knew that word is an insult because he used it as one against me. He knows how to use that word in hate.

It was the first time I’ve brought up that incident since it happened. You see, we don’t talk about stuff in my family, we bottle up all our emotions until they explode in either rage or near suicidal depression. Healthy, I know.

Anyway, dad got pissy, things got tense and silent, until I asked him to pass the bread. He fucking flung the bread knife down on the table in front of me. Which. I’m a 19 year old with out of wack hormones, it’s expected that I be a little bitchy (literally what my doctor said, love her). What’s his excuse?

So like, yeah. Now I’m just doing that fucking shame spiral thing in my room where I hate myself and wishing I didn’t think girls were just like, fucking amazing. I think my life would have been a hell of a lot easier if I was only into guys. At least then I wouldn’t feel like someone took an ice pick to my heart every time my dad and uncle make another fucking gay joke.

My mom tries at least, but she’s got no fucking idea what to say to me. She was raised not to rock the boat. Unfortunately, it’s already been rocked and I’m off the side, drowning under the waves. I’m drowning, and instead of pulling me up my dad’s wacking me over the head with the oar, and he doesn’t even fucking realize it.

[femmepire-butchbiter]

I'm starting to understand why many lesbians, but ESPECIALLY black lesbians are just straight up mean. If I have to hear another gaggle of people try to redefine stud/stem again, somebody is catching a femme-coded fist to their solar plexus. Like, tighten tf up.

[zennotixs]

I would rip my heart apart if you asked me to show you how deep my love goes.

[mochixkisses]

you love me, but you're not spiraling when i don't respond? you're not spamming me with all your thoughts? you're not explicitly stating how if i don't respond to you, you're going to fucking cut me open? huh, sounds fake.

[hatsheep]

i’m sorry, the only person who can save you is yourself

[m00nchi16]

Maybe unpopular opinion: I’m tired of reading fics where they’re enemies to lovers or they’re casual about their feelings I want to read them feel so much for each other that they feel sick because they love each other so much like the gods intended!

(I have bpd and love so intensely and no fanfic has properly described how intense my love can be)

[cowbutchbait]

some women are so fucking evil i love it

[theethlezprincez]

thinking about my ex from a couple years ago really makes me want to kms

i could have been way better to her if i wasn’t such a fuck up i swear

i wish that the plan she had to make us a house got further then just thoughts

i miss her silliness

i do not miss the abusive part of that relationship that came from both sides

i wish i could just talk to her and say that i will not get her of my fucking mind

i wish she would’ve been next to me back then

i wish that she could just know how fucking much i loved her.

she was the only reason that could have made me want kids but the kids would have very fucked up parents lol

i hope that she is okay and that she has healed from the shit she dealed with back then

i love you T

[dollyprint]

it's so unfortunate how lesbians are labeled all sorts of derogatory terms and 'phobic's for simply living our reality. far too many people struggle to understand that a woman can genuinely want absolutely nothing to do with a male.

it's also extremely telling how it immediately comes down to insulting us. i will never understand why i have to be uncomfortable and silent about it either. leave lesbians alone and stop repackaging + spreading lesbophobic rhetoric bullshit.

[smolbeanxoxo]

My head is loud, I need you to love me louder

[yamikawaii]

src: pokémon reborn