I don't know if anyone's still alive here, but way back when I still cared about OUAT, I had a little AU cooking where Rumplestiltskin adopted Zelena.
Do I have your attention? Good. So remember when Cora swindled Rumpel into changing her payment in the contract from HER first-born to THEIR first-born? What if he DIDN'T though?
Cora's first-born is not Regina.
So he's standing there absoltely baffled when a ginger toddler appears in his castle. He checks what's up. Is this thing working? Why yes, his magic mumbo-jumbo responds. That's your payment, Cora's first-born. Take it or leave it. So he takes her in.
Zelena proves to be a promising witch anyway, so it's cool, but still stings.
What this accomplishes for Zelena as a character is that her whole thing with Rumpel is no longer projecting her daddy issues onto him, it's her BEEFING with her actual DAD.
Because surprise, surprise, you stupid reptile! You are still the most important person in her life, thus, for the curse to work she has to take YOU out.
I mean he tries to prevent that, he really does. But her mother did sell her to Rumpel even if she had actively tried to prevent that. Her actual father is probably dead in a ditch. Her previous adoptive father hates her. And her sister is a literal princess being raised by both of her parents. Even if it isn't Regina's fault she seemingly had it better from the start (it's very hard to write this with a straight face, but as far as Zelena's concerned, that's the truth), in Zelena's heart, her sister can't compete with the man who raised her.
So Rumpelstiltskin does what Rumpelstiltskin does best and drops her like a hot potato. And on the next day Rumpel starts coaching Regina.
Great, now she's green.
Also, Zelena knows why her dad needs that stupid portal, in my mind she's grown up on stories of her older brother, lost and alone in a cruel magicless (gasp!) dimension, and how they need to find and save him. And in all her teenage overcompensating glory, Zelena decides to look for Baelfire herself. Then Rumpel will see how great of a daughter she is, and that she totally won't have to commit patricide, and she, her dad, big brother and magic will all live happily ever after.
Zelena goes to the different worlds she does have access to, which leads her to Oz, because why is it that they can hop between these worlds and not to the one Baelfire is in? Maybe if she goes to Oz this time, from there she'll find a path to another world, and from that one to another, and if she keeps hopping between different dimensions, she'll come across the right one. After all, the wizard of the Emerald City is from there. He got there somehow, if she could just figure out how, then she's golden.
But then the whole thing with Glinda happens, and it is not pretty. Zelena's had eighteen or so years of direct exposure to magic and Rumpel's rancid vibes, she should have grown up absolutely vicious in this AU. I want her to drag Glinda and read her for filth. Like, what do you mean "Dorothy must have powerful magic to have defeated an evil witch?" When a house falls down on you, you die, it's basic physics! This is a child that is lost, she is not interested in your sorceress secret society, she wants to go back to Kansas, lady! So you always wanted to get rid of the Wizard, huh? Well, why didn't you?
(Glinda in this show to this day makes me so irrationally mad. What on Earth was that storyline?)
The obvious parallels between how she was treated by Glinda and has been treated by Rumpel give Zelena a reality check and upon returning to Rumpel's castle, no closer to finding Baelfire than she had been before leaving, Zelena has an explosive argument with her adoptive dad. Zelena takes out the RECEIPTS that have been piling up throughout her teenagehood. The argument ends with her yelling that Baelfire is so hard to reach now, because he just wanted to get away from Rumpel that badly.
Zelena’s officially disowned, but still alive, so that's cool.
Zelena takes permanent residence in Oz and stews in her misery. The only thing that can make her feel better is making her dad’s life harder. She probably meddles in his relationship with Belle a lot. Maybe she even gathers the courage to try and connect with Regina.
Speaking of vulnerable young women who lost their safety net and are at the mercy of powerful geriatric men.
Hades enters!
Now, you’ve lasted this long, but I’m gonna ask you for some more patience.
Hades in this AU is just a Little closer to the source material.
And by that I mean he asks a woman’s father for her hand and then kidnaps her.
You cannot tell me Rumpel wouldn’t have agreed immediately. Zelena can be and has been enough of a nuisance and an outright obstacle to his plans that he’d want her OUT of the picture no matter what means he has to take.
Now she’s trapped in the Underworld, tricked into eating the pomegranate seeds, biting her tongue lest her dear husband has the bright idea to spike her wine with Lethe water. His family is SO WEIRD, her sister-in-law offers to adopt her because of a loophole that would let her see sunlight for half a year, but her brother-in-law WILL try to seduce or rape her if they’re ever left alone together and her father-in-law keeps moaning in her and her husband’s basement. “Sure, honey, I will help you overthrow your creep of a brother. Of course, you’ll take the throne. Who else? Your bajillion nieces and nephews that have been eyeing the position for millennia? Pfft, you’re so funny, darling.”
Speaking of family. Sitting side by side, they judge her birth mother and her adoptive brother she’d never got to meet. Both leave her unmoored and emotional, but in completely different ways. Maybe she gets closure with them, maybe she doesn’t. Time goes by, and Zelena dreads there won’t be any familiar faces left to see at the trial.
Finally, she sees her father there. And her husband thinks she’s excited to punish him, but, in reality, Zelena knows Rumpelstiltskin. He will not be staying dead for long. This is her chance to escape. Then she can kill him again.
In conclusion, Zelena obliterating Hades with a lightning bolt is less of a sacrifice and more of a divorce in this AU. I want her to be a mirror to Regina after the gang rescues her in a way that Zelena is a great sister, but she’s still evil. I know that’s basically canon by the end of the series, but imagine the opportunities of this dynamic if it had only 15% of its canonical emotional baggage. The absolute chaos of it. Wait, does that make her Henry’s aunt times two?
Do you see the vision now?
Did the vision come to me when I was re-watching St Trinian's and heard the snootiest, brattiest, most British "Daddy" in all cinema history? Yes, it did.
Edit: Y’all, I just remembered Baelfire would be alive in this actually! Can you imagine the drama of him coming after Rumpel? Him trying to convince Zelena to return their father to the world of the living? Like Orpheus? And succeed? And Rumpel has to live with the knowledge that had the roles been reversed, he would have failed and Baelfire would have been stuck in the Underworld forever? Can you imagine that?!?!
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