#Niall is the biggest 1d fan

[lilpezdispenser]

Name a better lyric than “i can make your tears fall down like the showers that are British”

[alarrylarrie]

So. Three months into 2023 we’ve gotten:

-LILO together at Louis’ doc premiere

-Nouis supporting each other on social media

-Harry being the biggest 1D fan, saying the names of his band mates at the Brits and wearing 1D merch

-Narry hangout from last year confirmed by Niall

[imaginesandbandfiction]

Story of Our Life

A Harry Styles Imagine

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: None

A/N: This is something a little different that was inspired by a dream I had where I was singing Story of My Life with 1D in a car... Also, I made some cover art on procreate plz don't judge my mediocre art skills lmao. Hope you like it!!!!!

Masterlist

Excerpts from

STORY OF OUR LIFE

by 

Y/N Styles

To Louis, the best chauffeur I’ve ever had.

To Liam, who keeps us all sane. Steady on, mate.

To Zayn, who always offers a shoulder to cry on (and a cigarette).

To Niall, the king of late-night chats (and snacks).

To Harry, for everything, forever.

Introduction by Harry Styles

Before she was my wife, Y/N Styles was Y/N Y/L/N. We met in 2011, six months before we would be setting out on the Up All Night tour. Even though I had been on TV, in recording studios, and performed live on the X Factor Live Tour 2011, I was still just a shy kid from Holmes Chapel who couldn’t quite believe his luck. I think I spent that whole year in a state of disbelief, afraid that at any moment, someone would tell me that it was all a joke and I wasn’t very good at singing, actually. Every time I took a shower, I half-expected Ashton Kutcher to jump out at me from behind the shower curtain. Y/N, on the other hand, walked into the conference room at Columbia Records, sat down at the head of the table, folded her arms across her chest, and asked us each, individually, if we had read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and, if so, how did we feel about it? Immediately, I knew that this girl was going to be someone special.

Her dad, Greg Y/L/N, was going to be our tour manager. When it was time for the label to put a team together, he was at the top of the list: a goofy dad with a daughter around our age who had toured with some of the biggest musicians of the 90s. He was the perfect choice for a bunch of kids who didn’t really know what they were doing: industry experience to make sure the day-to-day operations went smoothly, and the paternal instinct to protect us as best he could (we called him Papa Bear, which he pretended to hate, but we all knew he secretly loved it). 

We grew up together, spent months on end traveling the world, learning algebra on private planes and sneaking out of hotel rooms to wander foreign cities in the middle of the night. Fast forward to today. While Y/N was pregnant with Willa, our second child, she spent the whole third trimester on bed rest. Eventually, she got so bored that she scrolled all the way back on iCloud. Our older daughter, Hazel, was fascinated by the pictures of me and the band, and Y/N spent hours recounting our days on tour. I told her that she should write a book, but she refused at first. We have enough money, she said. People will think I’m making a cash grab. I told her that was bollocks, but if she really felt that way, she could donate all the profits to charity. It’s perfect, really, I said. The 20-year anniversary of One Direction is coming up, and it would be cool to give the fans a peek behind the scenes. Really, there’s no one better than you, darling, because you know the real us. She agreed, but only if all five of us were okay with it, and if all of the proceeds could go to The Trevor Project. So really, it’s actually me you should be thanking for convincing her to do this in the first place.

Anyways, here it is. The Story of Our Life: Growing Up With the World’s Biggest Boy Band, written by my amazing wife, Y/N Styles. 

Chapter 5

Out of all the One Direction boys, Louis was the first one to get his driver's license in America. He spent the few months leading up to the Where We Are tour with his girlfriend in California, and wanted to buy a fancy car to drive her around in. Hence, the license. So, when the tour made its way to North America, he somehow managed to convince my dad and the security team to let him drive us from the hotel to the venue a few times. Of course, the windows were tinted (and we were not allowed to open them), we were surrounded by a security detail, and there was always a bodyguard in the backseat, but it didn’t matter. 

On the night of the second show in Detroit, we all piled into a tricked-out Toyota Sienna, the best minivan on the market in 2011. Louis and Liam sat up front, I was squished between Harry and Niall in the middle, and Zayn and the bodyguard sat in the way back. We had the radio blasting and were singing along to some absolute bangers, like Party Rock Anthem and Super Bass, when the first few notes of Story of My Life started playing. Louis groaned and reached over to change the station, but I leaned forwards and slapped his hand out of the way before he could, turning the volume up a few notches. 

“Written in these walls are the stories that I can’t explain,” I sang along with Harry’s voice, turning to look at him with a mischievous smirk. He was mouthing along but bit his lip as soon as I caught him. Liam piped up with his part and I shook my head, laughing. 

“Do you guys seriously only ever sing your parts?” I asked. Next to me, I felt Niall shrug. 

“Feels wrong to sing someone else’s, even off stage,” he said, before chiming in on the background vocals as Zayn jumped in on his part. 

“Well, you should do it anyway, just for fun.” Liam turns around and lifts his eyebrows in a silent challenge. Harry and Niall jumped in, and soon we were all belting out the words to every part.

When the final chorus came up, I turned to rest my head on Harry’s shoulder, singing his part back to him. He was usually the shameless one, but his cheeks were tinted pink and he stopped singing for a few seconds. His green eyes were wide, but they never once left my own. I felt his chest rise and fall in a deep, steadying breath before he began singing again. 

From that moment on, Story of My Life was our song. Every time they performed it, he turned towards the side of the stage during the last chorus, where I sang along. On the rare occasions that I sat in the audience, his eyes always managed to find mine. We sang lines to each other all the time. Our favorite thing to do, much to everyone else’s dismay, was yell Zayn’s pre-chorus to each other from across a room. 

“And I’ll be gone, gone, tonight,” one of us would start. 

“The ground beneath my feet is open wide,” the other would respond. 

“The way that I’ve been holding on too tight,” the first person would say, before we both shouted, “With nothing in betweeeeeeeen!” That line was always the loudest, and we always dragged out the last syllable until we couldn’t breathe anymore. 

Chapter 9

When Harry’s solo album dropped, I was in class, taking my Algebra 101 final. My test-taking nerves were multiplied tenfold by the fact that I knew people were listening to it right now, and I wasn’t. We had kept in touch after One Direction broke up, mostly over text but occasionally, when he was in LA, he came to my house to have dinner with me and my Grandma (and Dad, if he was home).

I listened to it all the way through on the drive back home to Pasadena after I finished my exam, and as soon as I pulled into the driveway, I texted him. 

I signed up for a presale code, and refreshed my laptop continuously for five straight minutes in order to get tickets for his LA show. Harry was furious with me. When I texted him that I was officially coming to the show, he called me in the middle of a meeting with his tour team to yell at me. Something along the lines of, “I put you on the VIP list, you dumbass! And invites to the afterparty were just sent out yesterday!”

To be fair, I just wanted to support my friend, and to this day I still feel uncomfortable asking for free tickets from anyone when I have the means to pay for them. I think it’s all the guilt from five years of attending One Direction concerts for free. But anyways, that next fall, I found myself backstage at the Greek Theater with a VIP badge around my neck, feeling intense deja vu as security led me to Harry’s dressing room. 

“Y/N!” He yelled as soon as the door opened. I had no time to react; I was nearly knocked over by the force of his hug. His mom and sister were there, too, and I was passed around for more hugs before settling next to Harry on the couch. 

“So, how’s it going? How’s school?” he asked, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. That’s one of the things I love most about Harry; no matter how long it’s been since he’s seen someone, he always picks back up like no time has passed. He is scary good at keeping up with what everyone else is doing, even when his own life 

“Kicking my ass already and it’s only been three weeks,” I said with a chuckle. “But better than last year, that’s for sure!” Harry’s brows furrowed and he waited expectantly. “Did I not tell you that my original roommate was psycho?”

“No, I don’t think that’s come up before.” I pulled up a photo on my phone and handed it over to him without a word, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen his eyes wider than they were in that moment. 

“Holy shit,” she said.

“I wanna see!” Gemma whined, leaning across the coffee table to snatch the phone from him. “Oh my god, Mum, look!” She handed the phone to Anne, who frowned down at it. 

“This was your dorm?”

“For all of three days, yes,” you answered. “I’m not sure what creeped me out more, the life-sized cardboard cutout of Harry watching my every move, or the fact that she threatened to blackmail me if I didn’t introduce her to you.” Harry was doubled over with laughter with tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. 

“What are the chances of you, of all people, rooming with a crazy One Direction fan in college?” he asked, struggling to breathe enough to support his vocal chords. 

“The school investigated and they found an invoice for a private investigator on her computer in a folder with a bunch of my personal information and photos of me that looked like they were taken from behind bushes and trash cans. Apparently, she gave him that paparazzi photo from the week we were in London during On the Road Again and he was able to track me down.”

“He was able to figure out your identity from that photo?” I nodded, and Harry looked impressed, yet mildly disturbed. “She must’ve paid a fortune.” The photo in question features all five members of One Direction on their way into the O2 arena, and in the background, you can see the blurry back of my head as I slipped into the back door ahead of them.

When it was time for Harry to get ready, a security guard led Anne, Gemma, and I to the VIP section and we settled in for the show. He killed it on stage, and it was great to see him back in his element, joking with the fans between songs and waving to everyone he made eye contact with. He performed What Makes You Beautiful and the cheers were so loud, even in the small-theater setting, that I knew I would probably have trouble hearing tomorrow. 

“Alright, now normally I’d go straight into Kiwi, but there’s someone special in the audience today and this next song means a lot to the both of us, and she was the one who told me to sing all of the parts even though it feels weird, I hope you’ll forgive me for making you wait a few more minutes,” he said with a smirk, knowing that no one was going to complain about an extra song. My smile widened and Anne wrapped an arm around me, squeezing my shoulder, to acknowledge how special this moment was about to be. Just like old times, Harry looked straight at me as the intro music started to play. 

“Written in these walls are the stories that I can’t explain,” he began, and immediately tears started welling up behind my eyes. I joined in, leaning my head on Anne’s shoulder for support. When he got to the second pre-chorus, he yelled out “And I’ll be gone, gone, tonight!” and held out his mic for the audience to sing the next line, but I caught an almost-imperceptible wink as he smiled up at me and I knew that he could care less if anyone else chimed in.

“The fire beneath my feet is burning bright,” Anne, Gemma, and I screamed, hoping that we were loud enough for him to pick our voices out of the crowd. 

He sang the next line, and so did the audience, but I kept my mouth shut and joined in on the last line. He dragged out “between” so long that he had to jump back in on “I take her home.” I was the only one still singing along with him at that point, and the audience let out confused laughter, looking back and forth trying to figure out why he wasn’t moving on yet. 

Chapter 11

We’ve never talked about how we got together, and once the gossip magazines found out that I was the daughter of One Direction’s former tour manager, they just filled in the blanks themselves. I try not to read those things, but I do remember seeing a few headlines like “CHILDHOOD SWEETHEARTS RECONNECTED!” over that grainy paparazzi photo of us in Holmes Chapel before the Manchester Love on Tour stops. Others spun the fact that I was doing PR on the tour into a fake “HARRY STYLES KISSES EMPLOYEE” scandal, and it just spiraled out of control from there. But I’m getting ahead of myself. 

When the pandemic hit, I was at home in Pasadena with my dad and grandma. We had no other “bubble” because my grandma was immunocompromised. Needless to say, I got very bored very quickly. It got to the point that I would cycle through the contacts on my phone, Facetiming everyone in alphabetical order by last name until someone picked up. Harry was one of the only people who answered every single time. We ended up calling each other almost every day, sometimes to chat, or just to have someone there, in the background, while we went about our days. He was with his band, working on what would eventually become Harry’s House, and I spent many days listening to them work through different lyric and melody combinations while curled up in my childhood bedroom with my work laptop. He even interrupted a Zoom meeting I was in, once, excited to play part of “Music for a Sushi Restaurant” for me.

I was working remotely for a PR firm, after graduating college in 2020, my options were limited and, in the end, the place only gave me an offer because they worked with Columbia Records and knew my dad. I mostly wrote copy about movies to be put on Wikipedia or IMDB, which was super boring, so Harry seriously saved my life by letting me listen in on his studio sessions, or to the audio of whatever show he was watching and his commentary. 

By the time he was able to start prepping for Love on Tour, I was working at the firm’s office building on Sunset,  just about ready to quit my job and sell foot pics online. 

“Come on tour with me,” he said, (seemingly) impulsively, during one of our Facetime sessions in which he patiently listened to me complain about how Mark from accounting wouldn’t stop coming over to my desk to “chat” every hour on the hour. 

“What?” I answered, laughing a little. 

“Seriously, Y/N, it’ll be just like old times! We can race on the dolleys they use to bring the speakers in, and I’ll even let you win this time.” I rolled my eyes.

“It’s not really winning, then, is it?”

“Okay, fine, I won’t let you win. But I am serious, Y/N. You should join me on tour.”

“What am I supposed to do, just follow you around the world like some sad, desperate groupie?”

“I mean, you are a bit sad and desperate.” I flipped him off, to which he responded by cackling with laughter. 

“I’m sad because my job sucks, and desperate to get away from Mark, not to get into your pants.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be my mistress, you’d be doing PR for the tour, obviously.” Harry’s cheeks flushed with the slightest hint of pink, 

“Well, maybe you should have led with that!” I started laughing, too, and it took a while for either of us to be able to speak again. 

“Okay, sorry, I’ll start over.” He took a deep breath to calm his giggles, but still couldn’t manage to keep a straight face. “Y/N Y/L/N, I would like to formally request that you join me as my PR Manager for Love on Tour. My publicist is about to give birth, like, any day now so she obviously can’t go gallivanting around the world. Really, you’d be doing me a favor, and who better than someone who already has my dressing room requests memorized since half of them are actually yours.” 

“You still have the same dressing room requests?” I gave him a skeptical look. 

“Old habits die hard.” He shrugged. “And even though I don’t drink Diet Coke, having it in the fridge makes it feel like you’re there with me.” The pink was now red and I bit my lip to keep myself from smiling too wide. 

“Alright, Mr. Styles, you have a deal.”

Like he said, old habits die hard, so even though we were now adults and my dad wasn’t on tour with us, we still fell into our old routines. Back in the day, I was never allowed to be alone in a room with one of the boys, but we had our ways around it. Usually by walking through the hallways of the floor of the hotel everyone was staying on, checking in with the guards stationed at either side on every loop. So while we could have hung out in our rooms, more often than not, we walked through the hotel hallways in circles just like we used to. 

The night before the Pittsburgh show, Harry showed up at my door at 10pm with a bag of sour gummy worms. 

“It’s not Haribo, but it’s close enough,” he said with a shrug, flashing me his trademark “Harry Styles” grin. And just like that, we were off to wear a hole in the carpet, or so I thought. We hadn’t even made it through one full loop before he pulled me through a random door marked “Employees Only” and dragged me up three flights of stairs. 

“Are you taking me somewhere private so you can murder me?” I asked as we trudged through the dirty stairwell. 

“Something like that,” he answered. But when we reached the top, he opened another door and we were on the roof. 

The view was gorgeous, the moon was bright and cast a cool glow on the Pittsburgh skyline. I turned to Harry with wide eyes.

“Scoped it out earlier,” he said with a sheepish smile on his lips. “Just thought we could use a change of scenery.”

“It’s perfect,” I said, reaching out to squeeze his hand in thanks. “As much as I love hotel hallways, this is better.”

We sat on the edge of the roof, dangling our legs over the top of the building next door, and passed the bag of gummy worms back and forth as we talked. We were out there for so long that my eyelids started to get heavy and our conversation slowed down. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me, huddling closer for warmth (or so I thought). 

“Wanna listen to some music?” He asked. I nodded and he pulled his Airpods out, sticking one in my ear and the other in his own. 

Story of My Life started playing and my heart rate sped up, pulsing adrenaline through my body. Suddenly, I was wide awake and hyper aware of every place our bodies were touching (thighs, hips, my shoulder to his chest, his shoulder to my head, his arm on my bicep). 

I lifted my head up and turned to look at him.

“Do you ever get sick of this song?” I asked. My voice was quiet because I wasn’t sure I actually wanted to know the answer. 

“No,” he replied. His voice was low and raspy and it made my stomach flutter. I felt myself leaning in, unconsciously, as he continued. “It reminds me of you, and I could never get sick of you.” 

He brought his free hand up to my face and rubbed his thumb in soft circles on my cheekbone, and his eyes flickered down to my lips. The distance between us closed as if we were replaying something that had already happened in slow motion. Eventually, I could just barely feel the soft brush of his lips against mine. My mouth fell open just a bit in anticipation of what was to come, but Harry paused. 

“It’s you, Y/N,” he whispered.”It’s always been you.”

Feel free to cross my name out and write in your own, I won’t be mad. I get it; what really happened was better than any self-insert fanfiction.

Chapter 17

I’m going to keep most of the details of our wedding private, but I will tell you about our first dance, because it ties into a lot of the other stories that I’ve written about. If you haven’t noticed by now, Story of My Life is sort of the underlying theme of this book, and that’s because it’s been the underlying theme of my life, the soundtrack to my relationship with Harry. 

After dinner, and some absolutely mental toasts, Harry and I were eager to get the party started. Even though he’s not the best dancer, I have never met anyone who dances with as much joy as Harry does, and I love getting pulled into his wild, spontaneous routines. But our first dance was different. The fairy lights surrounding the garden were twinkling in the moonlight, and Niall, Liam, Louis, and Zayn stood on the sidelines to sing, you guessed it, Story of My Life. We swayed in circles, gently, without trying to put on a show or impress anyone else. It was a beautiful, full circle moment, and the boys even dragged out “between” just a little bit to tease us. 

Life is funny. One minute, you’re sixteen and screaming “The fire beneath my feet is burning bright,” at your best friend and you think that this is it, you will be touring the world with your friends forever, and the next you’re twenty-seven and in a wedding dress, leaving mascara stains on the shoulder of his suit. But I wouldn’t change a thing, because I think it was written in the walls all along. 

[meyhew]

which 1d member do you think is the strongest solo artist?

niall for sure 100%. i'd say zayn's up there as well but he's not playing by the rules everyone else of his caliber is (i.e. extensive promo cycles leading up to and following releases & massive tours). to me, niall is the one who knows Who He IS as an artist and he's shown consistent growth in that artistry. i think harry's heart lies in that 70's rock sound (much like niall) but he hasn't been able to fully solidify that in his own music. it's definitely there but i feel like he's trying so hard to appease everyone around him and that's kept him from really sticking to who he is.

louis... well we know a good chunk of walls was for the fans and louis trying to ease the fans into what he really wants to do, which is more in line with fitf. and as great as that album is, i think louis still wants to go more indie and more punk—either that, or the fanbase needs more time to come to terms with the kind of music he wants to make. perhaps both. she is beauty we are world class is SUCH a good song and a lot more in line with what i think louis wants to do moving forward but most fans (that i've seen) don't like it much :/ liam's had such bad luck i dont even wanna talk abt it but i hope there's more music in his future.

niall knows what he wants his songs to sound like and his music so far has very much stuck to a baseline that's gotten more and more mature with time. there's nothing... jarring about his discography. (going from hs1 and fl to hsh is a Trip to say the least. same with going from walls to fitf.) there's longevity in niall's career. he's not necessarily trying to be the Biggest name out there and that's fine because he has never once put out a bad song, sonically or lyrically <3

[zot3-flopped]

When I first heard Harry (Adore You release, roughly) I was interested to find out about the others, and one of the things I learned quickly was that we were supposed to take all of them as being equals. My first impressions however were:

Zayn: good voice but it's thin. Not music I liked. Never setting the world on fire. Probably not the nicest guy.

Liam: bit weird. Good voice but hams it up and comes across a bit strangely. Don't really want to see him in his underpants.

Niall: ok. No opinion really. Not great dress sense.

Louis: immediately identified him as the nasty one who caused trouble. He has that demeanour. Cannot sing to save his life and all 1D songs would be better without him.

Now I just think, (leaving Niall out of it because he seems to be just a bit of a prick at times, not actually evil) I seriously dislike the other three, everything about them, their music and their personalities. Their careers are ageing like milk and absolutely deserve to. But most irritating are their fans, who ignore some shocking behaviour and insist Harry got a leg up because of management favouritism. Get a life!

Zayn's solo rollout was actually more flashy than Harry's was, but ot5s will never admit this. Zayn was on the cover of every style magazine out there and his label even arranged a Taylor Swift collab for him, but his own poor work ethic stopped him from progressing.

UMG also laid out the red carpet for Liam in 2017. Liam brought out songs with some of the biggest names in his chosen genres - Quavo, J Balvin, Zedd. Despite this, only Strip that Down was a hit.

[mychampagne-mybubbles]

HS4 first chapter, Rob & H seen together. Also brought the attention to all the 1D boys through HLD, the biggest fan account.

The fact that Louis mentioned the ring-ing is only another sign they perfectly know their fandom’s minds, perception & behavior.

Harry Styles • HS4 Era Kick Off • 19.02.2024

So is this one the HS4 gifted ring already? The usual drill…

So here it is… the “threesome”.

The same time Harry appears with a (new?) ring, giving a justification to include Liam in HLD… the same old connections

Plus Louis including Niall in the game too.

[louisupdates]

‘All of Those Voices’ Explores Louis Tomlinson’s Journey Through Self-Doubt

DISTRACTIFY

BY ELISSA NOBLITT | March 24, 2023

Pop star Louis Tomlinson released his documentary, All of Those Voices, in theaters on March 22, 2023. The film follows Louis’s final X-Factor performance all the way through his first solo tour, taking an honest look at One Direction’s bittersweet ending and Louis’s journey to prove himself as a solo artist.

Of course, fans were thrilled at the prospect of new behind-the-scenes footage; however, those expecting something akin to One Direction’s This Is Us may be surprised to discover that All of Those Voices digs deeper. While it does contain fun tour content and concert footage, these moments of levity are just that — fleeting moments within a much bigger story of uncertainty, loss, and self-examination.

One Direction fans will enjoy this film, but Louis Tomlinson fans will be moved by it.

The documentary starts out by briefly taking fans back to Louis’s X-Factor audition to set up the beginning of the One Direction era, which was to be expected. However, what’s unexpected is just how brief this segment really is — by the time the movie’s opening sequence is over, One Direction is over, too, taking the stage for their last-ever live performance. Louis has his own story to tell.

All of Those Voices sees the singer vulnerable yet unafraid to finally share his experience. Being cut from songs and struggling to stand out as a singer in the band pushed him to find his place in songwriting, but that all came crashing down in 2015 when One Direction announced their extended hiatus.

Louis shares that he was totally blindsided by One Direction’s disbandment: “It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was not prepared for it. Not at all.” This casts a different light on their breakup, which was presented at the time to be a unanimous decision for the benefit of the group.

On the contrary, Louis is terrified for the future: “It was very easy for me to imagine Harry [or] Liam having a solo career. It was harder for me to imagine myself doing that … What the f--k am I going to do?”

In these moments, the audience comes to learn that this film is more than just a glimpse into the glamorous life of a pop sensation who was once a part of the biggest boy band in the world. Instead, it’s a raw look at Louis’s struggle to overcome the insecurity and personal tragedy that brought him to rock bottom.

Fans of Louis's know that he’s no stranger to loss. His mother died tragically of leukemia in 2016, and one of his younger sisters passed away only a few years later in 2019. Already reeling from One Direction’s dissolution, the singer shares that he struggled to remain strong through such a devastating time in his life.

Cameos from various members of Louis’s family — including three of his sisters, his grandparents, and even his son, Freddie — give fans a glimpse into his support system. Longtime 1D supporters will likely recognize them, and it’s heartwarming to see them cheering him on.

Plus, Louis’s family aren’t the only familiar faces in the film — All of Those Voices features a few appearances from One Direction members, as well. Louis and former bandmate Liam Payne reconnected; Niall Horan also appears in the documentary, and the two discuss the “out-of-body” feeling of seeing each other perform. While audience members will likely be thrilled, the inclusion of these scenes feels like much more than fan-service. They serve as a backdrop for Louis to lament the loss of his old life while also looking toward the future.

While the transition from boy band member to solo artist may seem relatively smooth to an outsider, All of Those Voices showcases that, at least for Louis, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Throughout the documentary, we see the singer building himself back up to go on tour, constantly worried about how fans will receive him. Will anyone buy tickets? If they do, will he be able to deliver?

Then, finally, the first night of his first solo tour is electric. After only two shows, Louis is devastated when his world tour comes to a halt due to COVID-19. However, when he returns to the stage two years later, he’s greeted by crowds who have camped out for months to see him, adoring and supportive.

For fans, it feels like a breath of fresh air to finally see Louis get the support he deserves.

As of this writing, Louis has released two albums and is currently in the midst of his second world tour. What the singer didn’t realize in 2015 was that One Direction’s breakup wouldn’t be the end of his career — it was only the beginning. Where he thought he would be starting from scratch, he instead retained the fervent dedication of millions of fans worldwide.

“That’s all I’ve been waiting for, really — to have these moments,” he shares. “And it does kind of feel like, finally, the stars might be aligning for me.”

Overall, All of Those Voices will give fans a refreshingly honest look at what it’s like to be on the other side of the stage — to have it all, lose it in an instant, and fight the odds to earn it back.

All of Those Voices is currently playing in theaters worldwide.

[apureniallsource]

Niall Horan tends to greet strangers with a compliment — which would be charming enough even if it weren’t delivered in a rich Irish accent and from the smiling mouth of an international pop star. “Love the glasses!” he cheers over Zoom, before eyeing my jacket: “And that, too!” I’m far from the only recipient of such warmth: In videos archived across the last 14 years, Horan greets loyal fans like old friends, eager to see them again, and treats journalists with a reverence that never comes across as hollow. Return the favor and he’ll hit you with cheeky bashfulness, like an exemplary student of the music industry’s best media training.

In 2023, Horan is far from his bottle-blond days spent in the world’s biggest boy band, One Direction, but the honest wholesomeness that made him America’s onetime favorite member and inspired some equally deranged and delightful memes (like the one that goes, “Imagine Niall Horan crawling inside your ear. You tell him to stop but he is in there”) still remains. And lately, everyone seems to want a piece of it, from world leaders — in March, he performed for President Joe Biden and Taoiseach Leo Varadkar at a White House event — to the millions of people who watch The Voice, where Horan serves as a coach and recently guided his mentee Gina Miles to the top prize. The Voice marks his first time working as a competition-show judge, but not his first time appearing on such a program: One Direction famously finished third on the United Kingdom’s X Factor in 2010 before going on to forever reshape boy bands as we know them.

For Horan — who will release his third album, The Show, on Friday — joining The Voice meant reconnecting with his 16-year-old self: the ambitious and courageous teen who toldThe X Factor judges back in 2010 that he was “ready to fill arenas around the world” before having sung a note. No wonder he was the first one selected for 1D after the boys were put together following their solo eliminations. (On the recent dearth of big pop groups, Horan thinks the future is all about the ladies: “I love Blackpink. All four of them have such individual personalities. That’s what made people love them.”) “I didn’t have anxieties then,” Horan laughs. “I was just having a great time.” That informs the advice he gives contestants. “On The Voice, you see a lot of technical singers who are very serious about what they do,” he says. “I’m just trying to get them to enjoy what they’re doing. You’re on one of the bigger shows in the country. Millions of people watch every night. Enjoy it.”

If there was any hesitancy in joining The Voice, an arena so similar to the one that kick-started it all for him, it was that he “wasn’t sure [if] it was going to be an overproduced thing where I get told what to do, say, and when to turn.” He smiles. “It’s absolutely not.”

Who can blame him for wanting some semblance of control? In the 1D days, cleanliness clauses threatened career consequences for any unsavory behaviors, and the band’s sheer popularity meant limited freedoms, a life of stalling in vans or rolling deep with security. “I couldn’t really go many places,” he says. “So I try to keep my private life as private as I possibly can. There’s a tendency in the world to take your arm off when you offer a handshake, you know what I mean?” He pauses. “But I’m not hiding.”

Niall Horan’s story is a master class in manifestation. The first voice in the 2013 documentary One Direction: This Is Us is his: “When I was small, I had a desk. It was weird because I wrote on it, ‘When I grow up, I want to be a singer,’” he says. “I scribed it in! It’s still on the desk.” Born and raised in Mullingar, Ireland, the only member of his group not from England, Horan describes his childhood self as both a prankster and a natural performer — he’d get in trouble for singing traditional Irish songs in the back of geometry class, embodying the same kind of irreverent playfulness that came to define 1D. (There’s a moment in the doc where Horan reveals he recorded “What Makes You Beautiful,” One Direction’s breakout hit, in his boxers, and another where he puts on prosthetics to disguise himself as arena security, unbeknownst to fans.)

One Direction sold 70 million albums and filled arenas and stadiums around the world before going on hiatus in 2016, but solo success wasn’t preordained. Horan’s first single, “This Town,” an acoustic slow burn, performed modestly but didn’t make it past the Top 20 in the United States. The funky follow-up “Slow Hands,” inspired by Eagles member Don Henley’s solo work, righted the ship. (Horan now calls Henley a close friend: “He’s always been very big on me being myself, not trying to chase anything that doesn’t exist — and he’s always there if I want to send him something and get a reaction,” he says.) Horan talks about the song with an air of relief. “The success of ‘Slow Hands’ and the first album felt like a big moment,” he says. “And the first tour — learning I can go around the world and still play to thousands.”

Another curveball came three years later, when he released his second album, the synth-pop-flavored Heartbreak Weather, on March 13, 2020 — the day the United States declared COVID-19 a national emergency. It was “a kick in the stomach,” as he describes it. “I was, like everyone, angry at the world for allowing this to happen,” he says. “And then the stillness took over for a second.”

Today, it’s hard to fight the impulse to eye-roll when celebrities talk about the pandemic, but Horan believes he, like everyone else, has been irrevocably changed by it. “I think I might be the eternal optimist,” he says. “I hadn’t had any time off in 10 years. I [thought I] might as well get fit and put the suitcase away in the closet for a little bit. Because at that point, my life was so rat race-y.” He spent his days working out, playing golf, and getting really into Formula 1. (Ask for his favorite driver, and he’ll give you the most Niall response of all time: “I’m a fan of nearly all of them.”) “The pandemic was horrific,” he says, but also: “It was boring! As a guy that travels the world on a regular basis, I was so bored.”

So he got to work on a new album sooner than he planned, writing the majority of The Show in Joshua Tree, without the kind of illicit substances musicians may be inclined to experiment without in the desert. (“No, jeez! No. Thankfully not,” he laughs.) The Show is Horan at his most adventurous, a kaleidoscope of pop-rock sounds of decades past, amped up for arena-sized grandeur. “I’m not just the fella with the acoustic guitar all the time,” he laughs. “I put my neck on the line.” The lustful track “On a Night Like Tonight,” for instance, starts off with a dreamy singer-songwriter intro before detouring into anthemic prog-rock — like Muse doing ’90s Britpop. “If you asked me to release a song like that seven years ago, I would’ve laughed in your face,” he says. “I’ve grown into it a bit. I gave myself permission. It’s probably not what people are expecting of me — and here’s my fingers crossed as tight as you can possibly get them.”

He describes the album as tackling “big life thoughts,” not just the kind you have after history-altering world events but also the ones on your mind as you approach your 30s. The first song he wrote for The Show was the title track, an ode to the gratitude he felt in a time of deep unrest. “You have to swim through the sh*t water to get to the clear stuff,” he explains. “Everything will be OK if you just see it out.” During the pandemic, he couldn’t help but think about how much better life was before, and how he should be thankful for it — or, at the very least, that he’s got to learn to take the good with the bad. The chorus goes like this: “If everything was simple, how would we know / How to fix your tears / How to fake a show / How to paint a smile / Yeah, how would we know / How good we have it, though?” “There’s a façade to most people,” Horan says, addressing the “how to fake a show” line. It’s not about going through the motions at a concert, but about the everyday performance of being a person. “I’m not saying we’re all going around faking everything, but there are parts of yourself you don’t give away.” He pauses. “I’m finding it hard to explain… In some ways, you’re always trying to be the best version of yourself.”

When Horan talks, he often punctuates vulnerabilities with a joke or a folksy aphorism. “The phrase in Ireland is ‘if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry,’” he laughs. But he doesn’t veer away from the hard stuff in song. “Meltdown,” the second single from The Show, was written as a balm for someone having an anxiety attack: “When it all melts down, I’ll be there,” he sings to the sufferer in the song’s chorus. “It’s at 180 BPM, which is a good representation of the heart rate [when beating fast],” he says, “but I also like to have a silver lining in my music.” (While he says he experiences anxiety on occasion, contrary to previous reports, he does not have severe OCD. “That got misconstrued,” he clarifies. “I’m not saying I’m fully OCD. [...] I’ve definitely had overwhelming moments.”)

When he does experience anxiety, he has a few grounding tactics. “I literally say to myself, ‘It’ll all be over in a few minutes. It’ll all be over in a few minutes.’ The thing to do in that scenario is try and keep yourself as calm as possible, and tell yourself that it will all be OK,” he says. “And weirdly enough, most of the time, it turns out OK.” Get this man a Calm app endorsement deal, stat.

That unrelenting optimism is a core facet of his personality. “I’ve always been like that: ‘This is sh*t, but I’m sure it’ll be OK soon,’” he says. But it perhaps accounts for just how well-adjusted he seems after going through the boy-band ringer and half a lifetime in the spotlight. He’s never been at the center of controversy, with the exception of dropping a curse here and there as a teen, which he does so now judiciously. (Recently, Horan enjoyed a pint of beer in a Guinness-branded documentary with singer Lewis Capaldi and was shown getting into a car and driving. His mum came to his defense, saying it was a nonalcoholic beverage. The debate ended there.) Even when I half-jokingly ask for his opinion on cults, a nod to The Show ballad “You Could Start A Cult,” he laughs. “It definitely worked as a metaphor for me! I don’t… no strong views on cults. At least, no public ones.”

That song, as he tells it, is about being so in love with someone that if they started a cult, you’d follow them into it. Is he madly in love right now? “That’s dead right.” He doesn’t mention his longtime girlfriend, account manager Amelia Woolley, by name because “if everyone knew everything, [my songwriting] wouldn’t be as candid, would it?” he says. “There’d be all these theories, and I’m not in town for that. I’m here to write what’s on my brain, and love happens to be one of those things that’s flying around me.”

Horan is staying accessible to fans in other ways, fully embracing the expectations of being a very famous person: He’s dropping skin care routines and goofing around on TikTok. This summer, he’s making his way across the festival circuit — good practice for 2024, when he’ll launch into the biggest solo tour of his career to date, which includes a headlining spot at Madison Square Garden, 12 years after 1D did the same. After a few disruptive years, he’s returned to the lifestyle that feels like home, now as a veteran professional and soloist in his own right. He’s the same nice guy, just with some life experience. And he’s enjoying the ride: “Looking at arenas full of people — it’s the best view in the world.”

[skepticalarrie]

Hi Allie , I wasn't a fan when Louis became a judge on the x factor, but I'd love to know how you felt about that situation?! you know being a judge on a competition isn't the best thing that could happen to a member of the biggest boy band in the world. While the other boys went off and wrote and released their albums or whatever they wanted, louis stucked with Simon. This part of Louis' life always makes me very sad. And did he talk about this part of his life in the documentary?

He did not talk about that in the documentary, not many mentions of what he did between 2017-2019 besides trying to get on his feet and dealing with grief.

I think the fact he ended up there with Simon was very fucked up, I imagine there was an insane level of control there. But besides that, I actually love Louis' participation as a judge on the x-factor, I think that's one of the things he really likes about being behind the scenes, he likes finding new bands, new musicians and then somehow mentoring them and giving them opportunities. He did a lot for 1D behind the scenes, he's the one who found 5SOS, he talked about opening his own management company and now the AFH festival is exactly about that. So I think that's a major side of Louis The Boss and of what he likes to do, I wish they could have mentioned that more in the documentary. So I don't think that part of his life is sad because of that, at all. I think it sucks how much he struggled with his confidence and everything, and that's what the documentary is about. But it's obviously something he loves to do, so why imply so much shame on something that seemed to be so important for him? Niall is also doing great on The Voice now, also no shame in that.

[alarrytale]

Why do you think it isn't fair to compare Louis to Harry? They were both paid the same in 1d.

Hi, anon!

It's not about money. It's about how they each were given an image when they were in 1d. The image helped them gain fans, and the fans all had a favourite member. Someone prefered the funny, blond, happy go lucky one (Niall), someone the responsible, reliable, brown eyed one (Liam), but the vast majority prefered the curly, charming and cheeky, green eyed, womaniser one (Harry). Harry was given the image that had the biggest opportunity to gain fans. That was intentional and done by Sony. He was in the headlines grabbing attention from day one, by acting according to his image. He was praised by everyone including Sony.

Since Harry was most people's favourite (because he was given the most advantagous image to gain fans) he also got the most solos in 1d. Sony tried to make him the de facto front man of the band. Harry was given the opportunity to stunt with famous people, have pr relationships with celebrities and to get his own name out there. He went to parties and mingled, and wore eccentric designer clothing to grab attention.

Meanwhile Louis was saddled with a long term beard, and had to play the working class, homophobic, and not well behaved role. He was given the larry denials, so as to not damage Harry's reputation with the fans. Louis was hardly given solo parts, was continuously made to feel he wasn't good enough by the label and Sony, he was belittled and he was punished for acting too gay. Louis was the one who took charge and spoke up to the label and Sony on behalf of the boys. No doubt did he make some enemies by taking on that role, but it had to be done. They punished him by turning his fans against him, creating scandals in the media and drag his image through the mud. All this made Louis develop deep insecurity, self-esteem issues and he is now self-concious in everything he does because of the mistreatment he recieved.

Sony had solo plans for Harry from the beginning of 1d. And they gave him the best opportunities to make a name out of himself and build a network in the business. The other members of the band had to fend for themselves. Sony only cared about making Harry famous and to cash in on him when 1d plateaued.

When Harry went solo he was given a huge label deal where they invested a lot of money. That meant that Harry's got the opportunity to write with the best in the business, have the best producers and have a huge album launch with promo everywhere. The other members had to search for labels to sign them and there was no team ready to make them into pop star icons. They had to slowly adopt new images and make their fans used to them, and gain a new fanbase as a solo artist. Harry was already miles ahead of them.

Tldr; It was never an even playing field. That's why you should never compare Harry and Louis. I don't blame Harry for any of this btw. It's not his fault.

[twopoppies]

Your anon (although it was meant to be sent to awesomefringey) just reminded me that Louis follows an update account on twitter which is ran by one of the biggest rad Louies who trashes Harry non stop and says he is sabotaging Louis' career. So him blocking HLD does rub me the wrong way, especially when his team still goes to them to promote Louis' projects, and post tiktoks where they're browsing the HLD account. I must admit that I've gone off Louis lately because his FITF promo revolved around smoking and drinking, and back handed compliments about Harry that were easily twisted by the media. As if Harry doesn't get dragged by 1D fans enough. Then BMG blaming Harry and Niall for Louis not getting radio play was... ridiculous considering there were times when the radio was playing all of the boys' music. But anyway, maybe Louis going on tour again will turn things around. I'm still a little skeptical because he seems to be pushing this laddy image hard so I'm partly expecting to see more of that. But maybe he'll surprise us. It'll be interesting to see, and I expect to see him play the guitar!

Hi sweetheart. I know. I struggle with similar feelings about his image and promo tactics. It’s very frustrating. I hope tour shifts something and we get to see different aspects of his personality highlighted. And yes to playing guitar! That would be so cool.

In reference to this

[towlerknows]

how do you think Louis and Harry feel about each other and each others’ careers since you think they aren’t romantically together anymore?

I tend to think they are proud of each others' career successes, but in Louis' case, I would guess that he's a bit irritated that he's constantly asked about Harry and 1D when Harry is rarely asked the same (same with Niall and Liam tho).

I literally can't imagine anyone wouldn't be.

How do I think they feel about each other personally is harder, I just don't know. I have two wolves in my mind, fighting for dominance. One says Larry was real for much less time than I used to think, and the other says they're still hooking up off and on to this day.

So with that in mind:

Wolf 1 that thinks Larry is very old news thinks they feel fondly about each other as old friends and lovers do, but are sick of the whole Larry thing and can't figure out a way to stop it without pissing off their biggest fans and/or having to explain that yeah, it actually was real for a minute or two and open that can of worms.

Wolf 2 that thinks they still hook up off and on thinks they love each other a lot but are just immovable on certain aspects of their own lives that don't allow the two to mesh. Aspects that probably cause a lot of fights or did at one time.

So IDK, they both seem happy right now, especially Louis. So I'm not asking for more than that from either one.

[onlythebravest]

New ask game - Describe relationships with your moots at OT5 friendships

NO

I hate these games, I'm completely useless at them and scared I'll forget ppl

*sigh*

@larrysballetslippers and me are definitely Lirry though. she's a baby and I'm the big sister

@bigxrig -> maybe... Ziall? Nouis? someone with Niall anyway, bc Niall seems like he's the biggest fan of everything the other boys do and I'm a huge fan of everything she writes and we have fun conversations

@nooradeservedbetter -> maybe Zarry? they seem like they can have long deep conversations about random things

@hellolovers13 -> Narry, because we have lots of fun together and are a bit chaotic but not super chaotic. not Lilo level of chaotic

@neondiamond -> which friendship is where they're more quietly supportive of each other? Zouis during 1D, seems fitting!

my mind is going blank... i tag so many ppl going back and forth with snippets so my mind shouldn't be blanking like this

@lunarheslwt -> which friendship is it where the whole friendship is basically based on one thing? bc that's us and biting

@enchantedlandcoffee -> Niam maybe? we have a lot of conversations and are also always happy to help each other

[zot3-flopped]

I feel like Harry never lost sight of where he was coming from and that all those opportunities weren’t there to take for granted. He’s always shown gratitude and seemed deeply aware of the fact that in the end of the day the band’s success was an unbelievable amount of luck. Unlike the others, Harry knew he would have to prove himself in order to make clear he deserves to be here.

The other boys lost sight of that. Louis in particular grew into this insanely entitled immature uneducated himbo who believes he deserves the world by literally just existing. He never was in a place where he had to work his ass off. He always was in the comfortable place where he could rely on others aka Harry and 1D‘s producers and lean back watching others put in the work not needing to worry about his career. And Louis still navigates life like that. It was similar with everybody in the band but Harry.

Harry was the only one that didn’t have anybody to rely on. Vocals were on him. Song writing was on him. Stage presence was on him. Entertainment was on him. Appealing to the female gaze was on him. Fan service was on him since he reasonably was the favorite and had peoples expectations on him. He carried that band on his back and the other boys relied on that and it shows in all their solo careers now. Zayn doesn’t know how to perform, Louis doesn’t know how to sing (or to do anything). Liam doesn’t know how to write songs. Niall doesn’t know how to be interesting. And all that despite having been part of the biggest band in the world. And it’s because Harry had to take over the other boy’s work too since they weren’t talented enough to show off themselves.

I think Harry’s work ethic was significantly shaped and formed during 1D and that’s why now he takes his own career so seriously and actually puts his own effort into it. He was forced to teach himself everything and he was interested in learning from others. The amount of pressure he was under in the band was probably insane. Imagine being forced to work with 4 untalented entitled idiots who all think they are the shit but refuse to actually work. And not only that but also having to share your work with them. No wonder he stopped giving every single songs of his to the band and kept it to himself. He knows how precious his art is. I think Harry has always been the only true artist among 1D.

100%! 👏👏👏👏

[faith--in-the-future]

Fact is if Louis’ songs were sung by one direction or any of the others solo they’d be played fucking everywhere. You’re not telling me that Syco had nothing to do with how he’s been blocked at every turn. It fucking stinks. And the others talk about how they’re all still good mates or whatever but they’ve done the bare minimum (or fuck all if you’re H) to support him (with the exception of Liam maybe, obvious blip aside - we all know how Louis feels about that so I think it’s clear he’s forgiven him at least). Hey at least Harry’s face pops up every time you search any of them now though right, after his stunt the other night. He’s the biggest snake of them all and he’s the one who’s most successful. I hate it here.

there's no fairness in this world! it honestly wouldn't suck this much to see that man succeed while being a shitty human and musician if louis had been given a chance too like if u had eyes u could see harry had always been given all the advantages in 1d and he'd keep getting more opportunities after so the race was always going to be rigged but there was no reason to make it so fucking cruel for louis !!! (just like there was no reason for harry to drop them completely like he did or to become this shitty like u would have been extremely successful anyways man u could have done it without hurting everyone in the process but whatever) it was all illogical and unnecessary and born out of spite and pettiness and louis deserved so much better.

I was talking with a @weareonejazzhand earlier and she was saying that nialls fans are much less motivated than us to work to promote him and i think the dedication and determination louies have is very tightly related to how transparently shitty louis has been treated like if you're a good person who cares about him you can't see that and simply be ok with it!! paradoxically the way they tried to push louis down as generated an artist and a group of people who categorically refused to do it

[louisupdates]

Louis Tomlinson Revisits Past Challenges, Celebrates Hard-Won Success in ‘All of Those Voices’ Documentary

Here are six key takeaways from the documentary film that finds the former One Direction singer exploring grief, self-worth, and parenthood

BY LARISHA PAUL | MARCH 22, 2023

BACKSTAGE IN LONDON at the O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Louis Tomlinson threw his hands into the center of a huddle with his bandmates before the show. There was a familiarity to the moment, which was captured in December 2022 and opens the new documentary All of Those Voices, directed by Charlie Lightning [sic]. The only differences? He was surrounded by five other bandmates instead of four, and the 2,000-capacity venue was a fraction of the size of the stadiums he had grown accustomed to playing with One Direction — or the still-major rooms of 10,000 or more that he’ll be playing this summer on tour in support of his second solo album, Faith in the Future, his second tour of that size.

For a while after One Direction ended in December 2015, Tomlinson wasn’t certain he would ever be able to perform in front of an audience of any size again. When he reassured fans that same month that the band wouldn’t be gone for longer than a year and a half, he didn’t realize that the break would actually be a full stop. The confusion was compounded by the fact that — as he reveals in the new film — he had only found his place in the band a few years earlier, falling in as a songwriter where he couldn’t initially make his mark as a lead vocalist. Tomlinson was starting from scratch, or as much as he could be with a holdover of fans from his time in the biggest boy band in the world.

But as soon as he could pick himself up to rebuild his sense of artistic self-worth, he was knocked down — first by the death of his mother days before his debut solo television performance, and then by the death of his younger sister less than two years later. Throughout All of Those Voices, narration from Tomlinson is paired with archival footage from the past 12 years as he navigates grief, parenthood, and relighting his creative spark after the smoke cleared. Here are six key takeaways from the film, now playing in theaters.

• Tomlinson didn’t know his vocals were cut from One Direction’s earliest singles.

One Direction fans launched a number of campaigns throughout the time the band was together. They once tried to crowdsource money to buy the band out of their management contract, and they famously attempted to promote “No Control” as a single without the help of the band or their label. In the earliest days, they loudly campaigned for Tomlinson and Niall Horan to get more solo vocals. Behind the scenes, Tomlinson was fighting for that, too.

“I didn’t know at the start who I was within One Direction,” he says in the new film. “I can remember singing a couple of different verses on the first single [‘What Makes You Beautiful’] — there’s a lot of pressure on this. I remember the first time we listened to it and I wasn’t on it. So then when we got a song that we thought could be our second single, I went in with a producer. “All I want is to sing a bit of this next song, and we’re just going to stay here until I get it right.” Tomlinson recalls spending hours in the studio, only to listen to the song and hear Harry Styles’ voice on the verse where he had expected to hear his own.

“There was an element of me feeling that it doesn’t matter what I do, I’m not really in control here and I don’t see where I fit within this band,” he continues. That feeling lasted for the first two and a half years of 1D; the solos would eventually come later, but by then he found his place as a songwriter. Across four albums, he racked up more than 35 writing credits that include underrated cuts like “No Control,” “Better Than Words,” and “What a Feeling.”

“That was the first moment in my One Direction career that I felt ownership in what we were doing,” he says in the film. “It almost felt more powerful than I might have felt had I sang that verse on that single back in the day… When I think about how proud I am of One Direction, I think of us as a collective. But if I think about what makes me the most proud as me, as an individual in that band, it’s definitely having the most writing credits.”

• Tomlinson felt unprepared when One Direction ended.

One Direction delivered their final performance on stage at The X Factor, right back where they started. It was December 2015, about a month after they released their fifth album in as many years. But unlike their prior albums, there was no world tour on the horizon to keep the cycle going. Instead, they would be embarking on a much-needed hiatus. “Let’s give it 18 months,” Tomlinson said on Alan Carr’s Chatty Man a few days before that performance. It’s been more than seven years now, but he seems to have genuinely believed it was only a break at the time.

“Even right up until we went on the break, there was still really no closure on that idea,” Tomlinson says in the documentary. “You didn’t really, or at least I didn’t, understand what it was going to be. I think the feeling I remember the most is a little bit of anger, because I didn’t want to go on a break. It didn’t just upset me, it shocked me. I wasn’t prepared for it. I thought for me, it was the band or nothing.”

Zayn Malik released his first solo album within a year of leaving the band earlier in 2015. Styles and Horan both followed in 2017, then Liam Payne in 2019. Tomlinson was the last to unveil a debut solo record, with Walls arriving in 2020.

“It was not as if in the five years I was in the band that I’d ever dreamt about being a solo artist,” he says. “Not once, because I was so obsessed with us moving as a unit and being part of this team. I’ve spent all my years doing this, I don’t really see myself doing anything else … It was very easy for me to imagine Harry having a solo career, Liam having a solo career. It was harder for me to imagine myself doing that. It was like, what the fuck am I going to do?”

• Watching his One Direction bandmates perform solo felt like an “out-of-body” experience.

At this point, One Direction have been broken up for longer than they were together. Still, the spirit of the band lives on, not just in its everlasting fandom, but also through the members themselves. On tour, Tomlinson works their 2014 single “Night Changes” into his setlist with a guitar-heavy rock twist. Horan often opts to revamp “Fools Gold” or “Drag Me Down,” while Payne’s earliest solo appearances featured the Ed Sheeran-penned single “Little Things” — and even Styles won’t end a show without having played their first hit, “What Makes You Beautiful.”

In September 2019, Tomlinson and Payne were both booked a night apart from each other at the CCME Festival in Madrid. “I didn’t actually know he was going to do some One Direction songs,” Tomlinson recalls in the film. “When it came to my part that he was singing [in ‘Little Things’], it just left me feeling a mixture of proud — because normally I’d been part of that song and part of that experience, and I’d be stood next to Liam. And there was an element, I’m sure when I listened back to it, like, ‘Can we not just rewind the clock and get back in that band and carry on singing as we were?’”

Tomlinson came close to that reunion when he was linked up with Horan at a festival in Mexico later that year to soundcheck “Little Black Dress,” though they didn’t actually end up sharing the stage together during either of their actual sets. “It’s only weird when it comes to life and I’m stood side of the stage [watching a One Direction song],” Tomlinson told Horan backstage. “That’s when it’s weird. It’s like, fucking, out-of-body or something.”

• The resilience that Tomlinson learned from his mother kept him from stalling his career.

The only thing Tomlinson can remember coming even close to the news that he had been invited to audition in-person for The X Factor in 2010 was when he auditioned for a production of Grease at his high school in Doncaster, England. At that time, he had been resolved not to show up, but his mother, Johannah Deakin, drove him there herself. “I’d be allowed to feel sorry for myself, but not in such a way where I’d bury my head in the sand,” Tomlinson says in the film of her approach to parenting. Then he landed the lead role of Danny Zuko. “That was the moment that maybe I allowed myself to start dreaming.”

In December 2016, Tomlinson took the stage at The X Factor final for his debut solo television performance. There was a mix of uncertainty and nerves in his voice as he ran through “Just Hold On” with Steve Aoki. Three days prior, Deakin had died from cancer at the age of 43. “The bottom line is, I didn’t want me mum feeling like what happened to her was going to jeopardize my career,” he recalls. “I had just got this feeling from her and the things that she was saying that I was just to keep doing what I’m doing, trying to keep strong. I got up on that day for her more than I did me.”

Tomlinson’s sister Lottie, now 24, echoes that sentiment: “She would not have allowed us to kind of sit and let stuff take over our life or let anything ruin our life,” she says in the film. “She brought us up to be strong and she brought us up to look after each other and just to get on with things.” Even his two youngest siblings, twins Daisy and Phoebe, now 18, knew “there was no chance he wasn’t doing that performance,” even if they couldn’t wrap their minds around where he found the strength to get through it.

• Tomlinson saw being an older brother as a crash course in fatherhood.

In 2016, Tomlinson became the first One Direction member to welcome a child. His son Freddie, born that January, now resides in California full-time with his mother, but the singer felt prepared to be a parent as the older brother to four sisters. “I’ve never feared being a dad,” he says in the documentary. “I kind of played that role anyway as big brother. And then once me mum passed, between me and me grandparents, we kind of sit in this hybrid as parents to my sisters.”

Less than two years after the death of his mother, Tomlinson’s younger sister Félicité died at 18 from an accidental drug overdose. “We did a lot, me and Louis, working together to try and help Fizz,” Lottie says in the documentary. “Obviously, it didn’t work. I felt that, kind of, how could we not get her out of this? I can only imagine how he felt. I’m sure it was heightened, one because he’s a brother and two because he probably felt the responsibility from our mum.”

“Life always throws shit at you,” Tomlinson says. “Yes, I’ve had maybe more to deal with than most people my age. But then when the natural things happen in life, where things weren’t going my way, I couldn’t deal with it. It was like, but I’ve already had so much to deal with. When am I going to start winning?”

• Tomlinson feels indebted to his audience for giving him a second chance.

Two albums in, Tomlinson’s solo career is beginning to recall some of the pandemonium of One Direction. Some fans camp out for months at a time for a good spot at his shows, particularly when he plays South America. They hold up signs that say “You Saved Me” and photoshop his face onto Jesus. They write letters begging their parents to allow them to sleep on the street to see him up close. They show up in droves to shows that promoters told him he couldn’t sell out. When he stands on barricades, they pull at his shirt, ears, and whatever else they can get their hands on.

“Those are the kinds of things that I’ve had to digest because I feel the importance of those shows to some people,” Tomlinson says in the film. “Just the idea of finally getting to what I worked for, it just eliminated any doubt. I’m like, I can definitely do this. I’m supposed to do this. All these people are here to see me.” In those instances, he adds, he needs the fans just as much as they need him.

“When you’re ambitious, you’re always thinking about the next thing and it means you don’t always have time to actually take everything in,” Tomlinson adds. “I’ve had it taken away a few times in me career, as well … but I’m really enjoying this momentum at the moment.” His options are to keep it going or risk losing it — so when one tour ends, work on the next album begins. He’s back in the cycle One Direction spent their entire career locked in, only with a healthier mindset and a new set of bandmates.

“That’s all I’ve been waiting for really, to have these moments — and it does kind of feel like finally the stars might be aligning for me,” he says. “Now if I told myself five years ago that I was going to play 80-plus shows globally, bigger venues than I’ve ever imagined, I swear I wouldn’t believe you. That’s where I feel like in the last 12 months, I finally feel worthy of where I am, what I’m doing, and the success that I’m having throughout this … I do feel like I deserve this, and that’s probably the first time I’ve said that out loud.”