March 2023 Game Awards
#JakeReviewsItch
Game of the Month Archives
You know how this works: Every day, I review an Itch.io game, and on the first day of each month, I give prestigious awards to the previous month's games. There is no reason we need to acknowledge that I've been on hiatus for more than two weeks. We can just pretend that everything is normal.
This month's award categories come courtesy of Steve Kim, whose Tweet was the first hit when I Googled, "1 like = 1 game". Thanks, Steve!
He also has a long-abandoned Tumblog, which is pretty fun if you want some silly goofs about things that were happening on Giant Bomb 5+ years ago.
March's Games:
Akurra 🖤 Akuto: Showdown / Akuto: Mad World 🖤 The Alabaster Donut Farm 🖤 Alfal's Grove 🖤 Alien Life Lab 🖤 All Haze Eve 🖤 All You Can Eat 🖤 Alone With You 🖤 Alt-Frequencies 🖤 Ambidangerous 🖤 Amelie 🖤 Amethyst Hearth 🖤 An Airport Game 🖤 An American Werewolf In LA 🖤 An Outcry, prologue 🖤 Anarcute 🖤 And All Would Cry Beware! 🖤 And Yet It Moves 🖤 Angry Video Game Nerd I&II Deluxe 🖤 Animal Lover 🖤 Annwn: the Otherworld 🖤 Anodyne 🖤 Anomalies 🖤 Another Lost Phone: Laura's Story 🖤 Antecrypt⚡ 🖤 Antistatic 🖤 The Aquatic Adventure of the Last Human 🖤 Arachnopunk
1 - Very first video game.
Akkura
Ah, the first of March 2023. Who could the forget the day I played the mostly decent demo of a Sokoban game?
2 - Your favorite character.
The cute cute cutey l'il aminals from Anarcute
Bunnies and froggies and foxies and even platypuses! They're all cuuuuuuute, and they cheerfully work together to topple fascism!
3 - A game that is underrated.
Animal Lover
I went back and forth quite a bit before settling on Animal Lover's score. It's currently the highest-rated 3/5, but maybe it should have been a low 4/5.
4 - Your guilty pleasure game.
Anomalies
There were quite a few big, worthwhile games in March; games that take a lot of time and effort to review fairly. Anomalies is a procedural generation toy that turns a bunch of numbers into a random mess of polygons. It took very little time and effort to review, and I feel guilty about how much pleasure I got from that.
5 - Game character you feel you are most like (or wish you were).
The Angry Video Game Nerd from Angry Video Game Nerd I&II Deluxe
The character I wish I were? No. The character I feel most like?
He chooses to play bad games and complains about it on the Internet. Hello.
6 - Most annoying character.
Right Stick from Ambidangerous
Trying to play both characters in a two-player co-op game on one controller? "Annoying" is putting it mildly.
7 - Favorite game couple.
A man and his diner from All You Can Eat
In a month with a number of solid dating sims, none touched me quite as much as the story of a man who'd spent ten years living in a diner to get the most out of an all-you-can-eat coupon. It's a love story for the ages.
8 - Best soundtrack.
Anarcute
Its infectiously poppy sound fits the look and feel of the game perfectly, but I'm listening to it now, removed from the game, and this is working, too. It's music that's suitable for writing, dancing, or smashing the state. I must remember to bump these tunes in my headphones next time I go Rollerblading.
9 - Saddest game scene.
Putting it together in Another Lost Phone: Laura's Story
A moment that will come to different players at different times, so I won't go into any more detail. I'm still feeling it, weeks later.
10 - Best gameplay.
Angry Video Game Nerd I&II Deluxe
Originality is great. You know what else is great? Mega Man. Castlevania. Contra. If you're going to steal, steal from the best. AVGN does just that, and it's a blast to play.
11 - Gaming system of choice.
Steam
In mid-March, I wrote about my beef with Steam. Here's the link, though you can safely skip it. I don't believe I made my point very well at all. In a nutshell, I think Valve's monopoly over computer games stinks.
For all its frustrating issues, though, Steam's controller support is an invaluable tool.
12 - A game everyone should play.
All You Can Eat
All You Can Eat is what indie games are all about. It takes one idea—What if an adventure game were presented as a newspaper comic strip?—and turns it into a funny little thing that takes, like, half an hour to complete. Short, simple, and totally ingenious.
13 - A game you've played more than five times.
Alien Life Lab
I've played through Alien Life Lab twice, which is close to five times.
14 - Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper.
Anarcute
I used care about the background on my computer, but some time in the last decade, Windows gave me the default scuba diver image, and then I changed it to an image of my choosing, and then it reverted to scuba again, and after two or three times, I just gave up.
I'm pretty sure my last desktop wallpaper was a picture of Synergy, the hologram computer that allowed Jerrica Benton to become Jem. What would everyone think if I gave up on writing about video games and turned this into a full-time Jem fan site?
Anyway, Anarcute is cute. I don't think I have to explain this.
15 - Post a screenshot from the game you're playing right now.
Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl
"Has anyone ever successfully copied Super Smash Bros.?" I asked in my Antistatic review.
Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl answers that question: Yeah. I guess?
16 - Game with the best cut scenes.
Alone With You
You'll see them 10,000 times, each, and get sick of them long before that, but there's no denying that this game's a looker.
17 - Favorite antagonist.
Conservative politics and corporate overreach from Alt-Frequencies
If only such powers were confined to sci-fi video games.
18 - Favorite protagonist.
Laura from Another Lost Phone: Laura's Story
The entire game is built around empathy for a stranger who's lost her phone, and it succeeds. I don't love Laura. I don't hate Laura. I don't want to be Laura. I understand Laura, and that is powerful.
19 - Picture of a game setting you wish you lived in.
The level based on the Crossfire commercial from Angry Video Game Nerd I&II Deluxe
You'll get caught up in it!
20 - Favorite genre.
Let's treat this as an excuse to talk about how much interactive fiction I played in March
Another Lost Phone: Laura's Story and Alt-Frequencies easily top the list, both of which are discussed elsewhere in these awards. If you haven't gotten the message yet, allow me to be direct: Play them. Now.
Animal Lover is sweet, funny, and well-written. It's not at all what I expected from a dating sim about people who have been cursed to spend eternity as animals, only returning to human form when a clumsy, anxious young woman gives them a kiss.
Amelie is a bit shallow and underdeveloped. The plot is unoriginal, it seems visually incomplete, and calling this fiction "interactive" stretches that word's definition to its limit. In spite of all that, I actually had an okay time with it.
Amethyst Hearth is a cheesy Christmas rom-com turned visual novel by way of RPG Maker, and also the love interest is a robot. It's such a bizarre novelty that I couldn't help but give it a passing score.
My review of An Outcry, prelude was so negative the game got pulled from Itch.io, and yet, it's stuck in my mind more than most of this month's games. "Kekekaykaykikikoo" and "they got a visit of terrific birdness" are powerful phrases.
And finally, there's Arcade Spirits, a dating sim that takes place in an alternate-near-future video game arcade. I was severely messed up by a bad antidepressant prescription toward the end of the month. Is that the reason I didn't like this game? I don't think so. I could revisit it and update my review with new, sober opinions, but that period was a miserable experience, and I'd rather leave it in the past.
21 - Game with the best story.
Another Lost Phone: Laura's Story
These categories are a little heavy on story, no?
22 - A game sequel which disappointed you.
Akuto: Showdown
It's a bummer that it stripped features from Akuto: Mad World. It's cool that it focused on one mode and made it better. The best part is that you get both games for the price of one on Itch.
23 - Game you think had the best graphics or art style.
Anarcute
No, but really, where is the merch? These characters need to be toys. And key chains. And erasers. They need to be printed on shirts and folders and... Just put them on everything. Who do I need to call to set up a meeting with Sanrio?
24 - Favorite classic game.
Angry Video Game Nerd I&II Deluxe
AVGN contains remasters of two games that are, themselves, homages to classic games.
25 - A game you plan on playing.
There Swings a Skull
And if that goes well, I might have a date with An Outcry.
Oh, plus the hundreds (thousands?) of games that are already sitting in my Itch library.
26 - Best voice acting.
Alt-Frequencies
Alt-Frequencies is played by switching between radio stations, recording and playing back snippets of speech. It wouldn't work without quality acting. I don't get the impression this game had the budget for top-tier vocal talent, which makes its accomplishments even more impressive.
27 - Most epic scene ever.
Angry Video Game Nerd I&II Deluxe
28 - Favorite game developer.
Accidental Queens
I will follow the developers of A Normal Lost Phone, Another Lost Phone: Laura's Story, and Alt-Frequencies wherever they want to take me.
The Lost Phone games follow the same format, telling worthy stories in a lightly interactive but effectively non-linear format. Then Alt-Frequencies comes along, trading the phone interface for a time-looping, call-in radio sim, and that's brilliant, too. I can't wait to see this team continue to stretch and grow.
29 - A game you thought you wouldn't like, but ended up loving.
Alien Life Lab
It's so janky. It seems bad. Maybe it is bad. I've played through the whole thing twice and loved it both times. I don't understand.
30 - Your favorite game of all time.
Donkey Kong
This has nothing to do with the Itch games I reviewed in March. I've just always loved playing Donkey Kong on a proper arcade cabinet.
Thirty categories, and I didn't find a single place to mention Antecrypt⚡. Let that be my parting thought.
Antecrypt⚡: It's worthy of mention.
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