do you think i want to be here?
a big part of sylvie’s character that gets overlooked is shown in one particular line in s2 ep3 when she explains to loki why she has to kill victor: do you think i want to be here? do you think i’m gonna get any joy out of killing that man?
because that is what she has done, for centuries, is bring death. she’s run from one end of the world to the next, watching the connections she makes fall apart. what good would more killing bring to her? how would ending this trembling man before her repair any of the damage she has sustained? the minutemen she burned to get to he who remains were all variants, too, but she needed to do it. like she needed to kill hwr, like she needed to kill victor. what pleasure would more death give her at this point, after it has so thoroughly stained her it’s almost baptismal?
what she wants is the softness of the ordinary, a uniform, a job- but her moral compass requires her to be a blade, and so she will. there is no joy in the ending of lives, especially in the name of freeing the destinies of the multiverse. she feels no love for death despite it raising her. her whole life has been more a means to an end more than that of an individual experiencing the universe.
so if that means she must once again plunge her sword into a chest, she feels that she has been summoned once again to do her duty, and she must. even while she trembles at the thought, paces back and forth, and cries at what she knows she must do.
except, this time, she can’t.
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Winter's Child Preview Snippet
This one is Jon's arrival and first day at the wall, and a conversation with a LOT of subtext. It's a pretty important one for beginning to unpack the mythology/lore driving the story, and I'm curious to hear what you guys think of it! This one is wildly unedited, so pardon the possible capitalization errors/clunky sentences.
Jon reached out, placing a trembling hand on the great wall.
immediately, he began to feel his knees buckling, taking a gasping breath to try and center himself again.
He had always known that Bran the Builder had constructed the wall, had used magics beyond any house’s gifts today, to create the towering monolith.
What he hadn’t realized was just how much magic was humming in the layers of ice and- he blinked, unsure.
He’d always thought the wall was ice and rock, but something nagged at the back of his mind.
“Uncle-“ he asked, later, quietly, as they stood atop the structure, “what is the wall made of?”
Benjen was quiet for a moment, turning eyes on him that had always been more perceptive than Jon cared for. Twyla didn’t blink as she stood behind her bonded, her golden eyes piercing him.
The oldest stories we have speak of it being Bran the Builder’s creation.” Benjen murmured, his voice pitched so that only Jon could hear it under the whistle of the wind atop the wall. “Ice created of magic wilder than you or I could dream of.”
Ghost gave a snort beside him, his breath clouding the chilled air. Jon agreed.
“And what do you believe?” he asked his uncle, grateful for the fire that flowed through his veins as the temperature dropped.
“I believe that no stark- not even a winter-blooded one has ever been able to do anything-“ Benjen gestured around him, “Like this. Not Torrhen, not Brandon the Breaker, not even-“ he swallowed, looking down into Jon’s eyes with something that looked oddly like guilt. He turned away the next second, continuing. “If the Stark gift before Torrhen was really that powerful-“ he sighed, looking down over the frosted landscape, “Then why did the gods take the winter-blood gift from us when we needed it the most? Why, if Bran the builder could use our gift to protect the entire north with something as massive as the wall, did it not protect us from the clutches- the claws- of dragons?”
Jon felt a hot rush of shame in his veins as he thought of the Targaryen conquers bringing the north to heel 300 years ago. Would that his blood was only Stark. His uncle’s hand on his shoulder cut him off the next minute, though, and Jon realized that his expression was affectionate, and held no blame.
“You are a Stark.” Benjen reminded him, softly. “Not what blood the man who sired you gave you. The old gods granted you the gift of skinchanging- no Southerner has ever been able to do that.”
Jon nodded, his throat tight as his uncle squeezed his shoulder. The flames leapt up his throat, flickering against his insides, but he held them down.
“The winter-blood gift was… harsh.” Benjen continued, looking Northward with a distant expression on his face. “Skinchanging- warging- is akin to communing with the old gods through the creatures they brought forth in the first days. It brings out the truth of a man-“
“Or woman.” Jon said, thinking of Arya’s ferocity and the ease in which she slipped in and out of various creatures.
“Or woman.” Benjen chuckled in agreement. “it allows us to connect to the old gods in a way the winter-blooded never could.”
Jon frowned.
You have heard tales of our ancestors, Jon.” Benjen sighed, his shoulders dropping. “Harsh, cold men- many of whom held a powerful ambition and the gift to make it truth. All of whom were winter-blooded. It’s a magic that can easily corrupt- turning hearts to ice as the self is lost. It doesn’t feel akin to greensight or skinchanging- but rather something other. Something older and harsher. Winter was never meant to be a gift.”
“But it’s been gone for 300 years.” Jon’s brows drew together.
Benjen was quiet for a second, and something prodded at the back of Jon’s mind.
“What testimonials we have written of it are telling.” he answered, finally. “And the feel of it can be found in the crypts among the oldest of the tombs. Magic harsh and alien enough that, at times, not even the weirwood will draw on it for nourishment.” they were silent for a moment.
“Do you think it will ever come back?” Jon asked, feeling the bite of the wind on his skin. “The winter-blood gift?”
“We are better stewards of the north- better men- as skinchangers.” Benjen told him, with some finality, his face darkening. “The greatest stories of the winter-blood gift speak of impossibilities like the wall, or of power that twisted the minds of men and made them something less than human. Less than alive.” He smiled at Jon, but something about it was strained. “As skinchangers, we can see through the eyes of others- we can hold a sacred bond with the guardians of the weirwood.” He buried a steadying hand in Twyla’s thick fur. Though still massive, she was a leaner creature than most of the direwolves, though Jon knew it only lent her a speed that none of them had. “If the winter-blood gift ever was returned to us, I would pray it was given to someone who could tame it. Who could temper the danger. and not be swallowed whole by it.”
Jon frowned, searching his uncle’s face. It felt as though they were having two separate conversations.
“But to be able to create something as magnificent as the wall-“
“No man could ever create something as powerful as the wall.” Benjen shut him down. “Not alone, and not instantly. Magic undoubtedly helped build the wall, but no man could ever hold onto a power that absolute. It would destroy them.” He twisted his face. “Regardless of whatever magics built the wall, you have to decide soon if you’ll devote yourself to guarding and protecting it. There’s little room for questioning once you’ve chosen, and it makes men uneasy to speak of the wall’s origins, Jon.” he sighed. “The wall is a strange and not well understood marvel. such things can inspire awe, or they can inspire suspicion. To discuss it is… not done.”
Jon nodded, his tongue heavy in his mouth with more questions, but he remained quiet, thinking of all his uncle had spoken of as they watched the night fall over the far north.
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It's time to start the cover reveals!
I will be re-releasing six of my backlisted novels in the next handful of months, and I'm happy to share the brand new covers!
They were created by the crazy awesome and talented @once-upon-a-reblog!
First up, the two novels of The Skylark's Saga.
What do you think??? Gorgeous, right?
Both books will be re-released sometime in 2024, and I'm working hard for it to be early in the year.
In the meantime you can read excerpts here AND you can listen to the song by Victor Sierra inspired by the duology here!
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Evang Mrs Hannah Victor - Ize Se Uromwen (Sacrifice of Praise)
Sensational Evang Mrs Hannah Victor is so thrilled to announce the dropping of her latest release titled “Ize Se Uromwen”, which translates to “Sacrifice of Praise”.
This highly anticipated song is now available to immerse yourself in the audio version and watch the captivating video. Evang Mrs Hannah Victor, known for her powerful and soul-stirring performances, once again delivers a heartfelt…
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