#Note: I am gay and have known this for most of my life

[wawhii]

Some rambling in the tags

[grenade-maid]

Honestly been really drawn to crossdressing romance manga the last few years. The fact there is such a focus on passing, anxiety over what the other partner might think or feel, the satisfaction of presenting in ways that feel good, the joy of being loved and desired in different forms, and the generally kind of weird funny fluid nature of gender and attraction all feel very relatable to me in ways that Yuri, and even Western lesbian and trans comics don't always reflect. "Is this gay or straight? Am I gay for this? Are *they* gay for this? Whatever is going on here it's not *not* gay and either way I'm committed" is a pretty unique mix of emotions familiar to my bi trans experience after all lol. Unfortunately most of them range from merely sucking to nuclear weapons grade hateful, so it's pretty rare to find a good one.

These pages really made me happy though. These two don't really get along as coworkers, but are immediately head over heels goofy eyed when encountering each other having genders in their off time (at this point neither recognizes the other or knows their gender). Cause like, I've had that experience SO many times where someone got under my skin, and then years later we run into each other after figuring some shit out and suddenly we're like irresistibly magnetized.

(Note: The term Lolita used here refers specifically to the style of fashion, and has no sexual connotations)

A lot of these manga are written in a very "That's Really a Guy!?!?!?!?!?" frame, but a surprising number even among the shitty ones don't seem to really ascribe much in the way of that like, meaning a whole lot. That's Really A Guy?? But she has effectively completely socially transitioned and is known, loved, and desired as a woman, I dunno, feels pretty trans to me, complete with the scrutiny, misgendering, and gags at her expense that I've known in my life. Being Really A Guy seems to lose very much meaning in that instance. Which is comforting to me as someone who works a public facing role and constantly gets gendered and perceived in weird ways that don't match who I am.

Are these intended to be read so charitably? I don't know, and I also don't really care. That hasn't stopped us from reading transness in Lain or Evangelion, or reading Dungeon Meshi as a lesbian love story has it?

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Ann Sothern (A Letter to 3 Wives, The Blue Gardenia)_ Another unsung comedienne of the 30s and 40s, not enough people know about Ann Sothern. She was, along with her bestie Lucille Ball, originally a Goldwyn gal, but was soon a featured star in pictures. She even headlined a series of films, the Maisie movies. And though she was known for her comedies, but I fell in love with her after her dramatic role in A Letter to 3 Wives. I also absolutely love her in the noir murder mystery The Blue Gardenia. She was absolutely stunning, and I am always excited to find a movie of hers to watch. She's high on my list of "Why don't more people talk about her?" actresses

Ingrid Bergman (Gaslight, Casablanca, Notorious)—Where do I even begin with Ingrid Bergman? I fell in love with her with her astounding performance in the 1956 version of Anastasia -- the best Anastasia movie in large part due to her wonderful and touching performance. She's got this amazing, fascinating intensity to her in whatever role she's in. She commits 100%, and she's got this light in whatever she's in that's stunning. She's utterly convincing no matter what she plays, from an amnesiac possible lost princess, from a nun, from a woman taking her revenge on the town that wronged her, to light romantic comedy. She's never missed in any role I've seen her in! Also she became quite the MILF.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Ann Sothern:

She was so beautiful and had great comedic timing!

Ingrid Bergman:

God, she's fantastic. She's both beautiful and a compelling actor who's more than capable of putting the whole movie on her shoulders if necessary. It's worth noting that while her beauty is conventional, she was seen as refreshingly "natural" with more eyebrows and less makeup than many other leading ladies of the time. She's well known for her role in Casablanca, but in Notorious, Spellbound, (both available on archive.org ) and Gaslight (1944) she shows how immensely capable she is.

I mean...she's Ingrid Bergman. I feel like that should be enough, you know? She's physically beautiful (her eyes!) but watching her is like a transcendent experience. Her voice, her expressions... beautiful woman, beautiful actor.

I'm a gay man but even I understand her appeal. I'll watch any movie she shows up in. Gorgeous woman.

Just try and watch her movies without sighing wistfully, then get back to me!

Choosing 1-3 movies where Bergman was at her hottest was agony because, of course, she was always at her hottest. Not just because she was beautiful but because she was absolutely willing to go up against the bs women in Hollywood were constantly dealing with. When exiled from Hollywood for having an affair with Roberto Rossellini, not only did she refuse to apologize at any point, but she went on to say that Hollywood's films had grown stagnant and boring to her. Though she said she appreciated her time working there, she wanted to try new, different techniques (hence starring in Italian neorealist films, working on stage, and acting under directors like Ingmar Bergman). She was not afraid to chase after her artistic ideals and go outside the box regardless of what society had to say about it. From her first movie to her last she killed it. There's so much more to say about Bergman's career and life, but I've already written five million words so I'll stop at that.

One of the most incredible actors I've ever seen on film. Her facial expressions are so intricate and poignant that I cannot look away. I'm either ace or straight, but damn she made me question that.

SEVEN TIME OSCAR NOMINEE QUEEN. Girl also PULLED, having affairs with famously hot men Gary Cooper and Gregory Peck IN ADDITION to her three marriages...sexy

She has a very natural beauty to her, and she's from Sweden!

She left Hollywood and only became more beautiful. You could drown in her eyes. She can look innocent AND like she's seen it all. She is effortlessly elegant. She's played Joan of Arc (automatically hot) AND was in the movie that coined gaslight as a term. And where would we be without that!

She was known for being a breath of fresh air on the movie scene at the time with her windswept hair, dreamy smile and soulful eyes. I have loved her in every movie I have seen her in - she was just magnetic!

Where do I even start. There's a neighborly quality to this beautiful, talented actress that makes her hotness one of a kind and her looks impossible to forget

With a career spanning five decades, Bergman is often regarded as one of the most influential screen figures in cinematic history. Known for her naturally luminous beauty, Bergman spoke five languages – Swedish, English, German, Italian and French – and acted in each.

She's hot, don't get me wrong, but I've always found her very approachable, like she could easily be a member of my friend group

A lot of the time hotness in a movie is just about words and framing. "You're the most beautiful person here" [vaseline lens] well I sure hope so because that's who you cast. But when, in Casablanca, they call Ingrid Bergman the most beautiful woman in the world... they were not fucking lying. And such a dynamite actor too!! I'd only seen Casablanca up until last year, and there she's confined to love interest. But in Gaslight she was maybe one of the most incredible actors I've ever seen!!!! Goddddd shes so fucking hot and cool.

[remembertheplunge]

Sweetwater's

March 4, 1988.  Friday

My God, whadda day. I never did make it to Sacramento. Instead, a drink turned LONG.

I hankered for a man. Not really the prettiest man, but, a man. Sam.  Who thumped me along side the head with a bible and then said—maybe—and “can we just be friends?” I said “yea”. Frankly, oddly, I’d prefer it—I’ll keep the LUST in my heart. I came out to Sam  at Sweetwaters. DAs were every where.It was a good bye party for one of them. RISK—SMILE.

Sam  said “gay is bad”. I said “Don’t try to save me.”

He attacked from many angles.

I emerge content and happy.

If the DAs or Sam  know or tell, (that I’m gay) what care I? Great night and life.

End of entry

Margin note to above:

June 15, 1990

The man at the Town House Bar asked  me “Are you happy with Life?” “Yes” I said, really feeling “yes”.

He said “I am, too.” really feeling “too." 

End of margin note

Notes 9/13/2024:

From what I recall about Sam (not his real name), he was very religious. Apparently he was taught in his church that gay was evil. And so, if I am remembering correctly, Sam told me that my being gay was wrong and evil on more than one occasion. This was despite the fact that I believe he, himself was gay. I haven’t heard from or of Sam  for decades now.

The Town House Bar was a gay bar in Sacramento, California. What the man at the Town House was asking me was “Are you happy being an out gay man?”

The DAs were Deputy District Attorneys. I was a Deputy Public Defender in 1988, so I would have known and worked closely with most or all of the DA’s in attendance.

RJ Sweetwaters  restaurant opened in the mid 1980’s in Modesto, California on 9th street. It closed in 2002 and the building  later burned down. It’s just a gravel lot now. 

I drive by that lot often on my way in and out of town and still see my  1986 good bye party taking place there. I was leaving the Public Defender’s office after working there two years.  Judges, DAs and Public Defenders came to the party. The office gave me a brief case as a good bye present which I still have.

I returned to the Public Defender's office in 1987, only to be fired in 1997 largely because on my return I had come out as gay and let people know  that I was working with and giving support to men living and dying wit AIDS. In 1997, there was no good bye party. No brief case good bye gift. . Just a boot out of the door. And, an unending story to tell. 

[bengiyo]

Cooking Crush Ep 12 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Last week, the bullies uploaded a clip of Ten punching Changma, leading to netizens to call for their disqualification. Ten and his dad fought about the matter, and Ten was forced to recognize that his dad was right about the trouble he caused for his friends. Ten and Prem talked it out and affirmed that they are a team. Ten apologized to Changma, who then went on to also apologize publicly for his own role in this. Meanwhile, Ten and Prem cleared up the last confusion about whether Prem was scamming, reminding us there are no tropes they can't defeat. Dynamite has told Fire multiple times they need to be more like Prem and Ten. The squad persevered and moved to the final round. Fire publicly celebrated Dynamite on television. We left at the duo preparing to face Ten's dad.

How does finding the sticky note in Ten's room that he already knew about land as some sorta Gotcha here?

I'm going to miss this intro.

Dish 12: Fish & Rice Romance: a Dish Made of Love

Despite my feelings about the father, it's not unreasonable to ask Prem to be accountable for the money he got from Ten.

I like the reveal that the grandmother had the money and she would have preferred they just tell her about the mishap instead. She's great. She reminded Prem to gather his conviction for his choice.

Pang, give the sign to Metha.

GMMTV loves making us invest in an competition all season just to have the characters lose and take other meaning from the struggle.

I enjoyed the precision that Fire used in his coming out speech to his mom. He makes it clear that Dynamite never deceived him, and then reveals that he's known who he is for a long time. He was hiding it to appease his mother to make her happy, but that's not what's best for him.

This show really gave it to the babiis. So many kisses.

LOL, y'all were right about Pang and Samsee.

I am glad the dad returned the money to Prem. It feels like he's respecting Ten's choices. I'm also glad he and Ten finally spoke about the mom's illness. I'm sure it was devastating for him that he couldn't find a way to save his wife.

Okay, I like the apology from Fire's mom, and how she is able to give this stern kind of acceptance with Dynamite.

The squad is still going strong years later, and Prem even opened his own restaurant.

They let Off smash some garlic and immediately cut away.

Thank you for confirming that these two have an active sex life and that Ten is still horny. We love to see it.

Final Verdict: 9, Highly Recommended. I'm always going to appreciate a show about losers doing their best and finding a version of success. I liked how often communication triumphed in this show. Things that might have dragged in earlier stories across multiple episodes got handled almost immediately throughout this show. This show also gave me Dynamite, my blorbo of the season. I love loud gays who know who they are and who they want, and aren't demure about it. I really loved the cast here, and I loved the two friend groups. They're different, but they're all supportive of each other. Samsee, Dynamite, and Prem are going to stick with me. This is the kind of dramatic stakes I enjoy most in my romcoms.

[celestialbeingscomic]

HI! This is the introduction of this account!

Very important note!

This comic that I’m doing for fun! Would never have been a thing without @caseykeshui

It probably would only be an imagination!

I’m very excited on starting this comic! It’ll be so much fun!

—-

So some things to mention is that:

None of this is real! It’s based on science and maybe real events that have happened or is happening that deals with the planets

Only Saturn and Jupiter have “canon” relationship, being the equivalent of a “old married gay couple”, the rest is implied and can be seen however!

Iris and Planet X will have occurrences! If you see their information on this post that means they have been shown PROPERLY in the comics!

A lot their personality’s are based on solar balls! (I just love the idea of Neptune being a little silly thing! And I liked the idea for the other planets too!)

ALL OF THEIR DESIGNS CHANGED FROM THE PROLOG! THEY WONT LOOK LIKE THAT ANYMORE, IF THEIR OUTFITS CHANGED IN SEQUENCE OF ANOTHER CHARACTER, they just changed outfits. That’s what we are settling on. >:(

More will be added along the way!

And I’m probably put a trigger warning just saying “iris” cause this dude deserves his own trigger warning.

—- we r introducing by size

MERCURY (don’t know if I spelt it right.)

Mercury is the smallest planet in the solar system

He is the closest to the sun and with that, the sun has grown somewhat of an attachment to mercury. (They r bffs ^^. (Sometimes))

Venus is known for teasing and others would say, bullying mercury. Why? He’s tiny :3 and in my au, they see each other as brothers almost.

He is so fancy fancy! He reads allot, since he kinda just learned to somewhat tune out sun he tries to find other ways of entertainment!

EARTH

Surprisingly earth is smaller then Venus in this au I guess cuz-

He knows all of the moons names, because his little sweet fragile earthlings named them so ofc he put his heart and soul into learning, every. single. one. Of. Their. Names. He’s dedicated :)

And with him knowing all of their names, he has maintained a pretty good relationship with them, even though he barely sees most of them ;-;

He tries not to mingle to close with the sun, yes the suns solar flares can’t really hurt him or the earthlings, but it’s because the sun has tried multiple times to eradicate the earthlings. So earth tries not to get to close, in risk of burning himself as well.

His main home is in the Goldilocks zone, he barely leaves, in fear his earthlings won’t survive!

HE DOES NOT CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO HIM, ARE THE CREATURES SAFE?

VENUS

One of the fastest ones I have made, I put a lot of consideration into him.

As you can see, he is very, anti-earthlings. He is one of earths best friends, visiting earth often in the Goldilocks zone! Which I will explain later on

He has some anger issues :) nothing else

HE HAD LIFE AND NOW ITS RIPPED AWAY FROM HIM JUST LIKE THAT I BET HE WAS SO HAPPY AND PROUD BUT NOW HES JUST TOXIC AND WONT BE ABLE TO SUBSTANE LIFE LIKE BEFORE I WOULD BE IRRITATED AS WELL!

lil bully >:(

He cares deeply about his friends, VERY, deeply.

MARS

Oh mars, he is so sweet, he’s so bbg :(

And he’s a father

Idkw people make him a cowboy but it looks good on him so.. he’s a cowboy now :D (also I forgot to fill in a lot earths colors so :( )

I was actually time crunch with him, it was 11:55 and I had to finish him before 12 AM oh the coloring.

He was the first to figure out that earth is very sick, but earth tries to not show to not put pity on him, he doesn’t want his relationship to change with everyone so mars promised not to speak of it in public if he can help it.. Venus tho- he was mad at mars for a while.

Oh he has nicknames for EVERYONE!

Neptune: cave brain (head empty no thoughts just be silly)

Uranus: Aussie boy

Saturn: rings. Yes just rings.

Jupiter: smartie man/earths pops (we will discuss in jupiters)

Venus: hot head

Earth: Mother Nature (earth does not appreciate but doesn’t stop him)

Mercury: small man

Sun: Bug guy. Yes big guy >:) so clever

NEPTUNE! My baby boy :)

He’s so silly!

He came morph his body into any matter, any shape, 2d, 3d, realistic. Blob.

Also the planets can detach their heads but Neptune really is the only one you can see that happening with, as he takes head off a lot to look at planets/moons or to see things he can’t see in normal size!

He lives in both the icy hollows (aka where the ice giants zone is) and one of the astroid belts

He remembers his moons names, but not his own most of the time.

URÄNUS(be mature be mature be mature-)

He is a little shy Aussie boy, and Neptune’s cousin why r they cousins? Idk I thought it was a neat concept :P

He knows of iris, due to Neptune speaking about him and forgetting moments later. “Iris? Who’s Iris?! Why do they make you go through pain?!” “… who? :D”

Leave the tink tink alone, poor boy is shy :(

He’s also very introverted, and feels horrible that he’s named Uranus :( he envies Saturn also, people keep mistaking him as a Saturn clone and he’s just tired.

SATURN :D

HES SO EMOTIONAL :(

Fancy fancy 2.0

He’s so sweet and he gives off mama bear vibes :) like omgggggggg

Also, OPRA?? CLASSICAL MUSIC?? CONDUCTOR VIBES? HMMMM????

His beautiful husband Jupiter comforts him when he goes through his emotional breakdowns. Jupiter TREATS. HIM. RIGHT.

JUPITER

The gay hubby of Saturn:D

Surprisingly he has a pretty good relationship with his 80+ moons :) he has outfit that each one chose out for him

He’s such a boomer too T-T

Now, earth and him ARENT like family family, but Saturn treats earth like family family, to the point they address one another with family titles like father, dad, son, child of mine.

Oh I can’t think of anyhing besides him being extremely knowledgeable and some how knowing a lot about the planets and the solar system. It’s to the point you would think earth would know it seeing how he knows everything his humans know.. maybe that’s why they r “family”

SUN

OH BOY! Isn’t he just something

I’ve implied that he likes earth like that but, atm, he doesn’t see earth more than a friend :)

He and mercury get along swimming! Yes mercury gets tired of suns solar flares always blasted at him but who cares :D

HE IS THE PUN KING, JOKE MASTER, GET ON YOUR KNEES CALL HIM DADDY CLOWN- I shall calm myself :)

He knows about Iris, he’s trying to get rid of Iris, but currently. He’s having trouble.

EITHER iris is to close to earth to the point where he is risking burning earth and the creatures (which is not his goal atm) or he’s next to Neptune, and Iris notices sun so fast at that length of distance :O if sun tries to grab Iris, Iris is already gone by that time >:( and is he shoots a solar flare it won’t reach them in time D:<

— anyways that’s all

So thank you for everything! Idrc how much this blows up but I’m just glad that I finally am doing a comic at my own time! This is great practice for my collab comic with Tigerlily! Crystal cove :)

Anyways thank you Casey for the inspiration behind this comic! You are the back bone structure you don’t even know about!

I do wanna say that Casey is currently not posting country human or planet human content at the moment for what I remember, mental purposes maybe 🤔

Either way thank you :)

Oh and a size chart for anyone who cares

[auspex]

VtM Fangfest 2024 Prompt 9: Strength

Hello! Here is my ninth fic for Fangfest 2024 :) I am fallin' behind but still writing!!!

All my fics will be about characters that are previously established, so you might not have context for everything mentioned or hinted at within :( Feel free to reach out to ask I love explaining!

I've never really posted my writing before so be kind!

my first fic is here

my second fic is here

my third fic is here

my fourth fic is here

my fifth fic is here

my sixth fic is here

my seventh fic is here

my eighth fic is here

This fic is about Eden! Eden was a character i made for a game that unfortunately died after session one. She uses she/him pronouns (mostly she, but likes he as well) anddddd god i love her so much. He was a firefighter in life. She's a lasombra embraced into the Camarilla after they defected. He's a known corpse <3 he eats people who won't be missed <3 She has SELF ESTEEEEEM ISSUESSSS and she is super gay. Yeah.

EDIT: ALSO SHOUT OUT TO @dykeferatu AS THEIR OC PEYTON IS IN HERE FOR A BIT :D they were gonna be a player with me

I wanted this piece to be longer but wanted to post it... so maybe i'll continue this later!

Eden still liked the crunch of her boots on the snow, even if the icy feel of wind on her face wasn’t as sharp now, since she was cold too. He missed how the cold made everything come into focus, though to be fair, his senses were far stronger now than they ever had been when he was alive. That she liked. 

What she did not like was having to report to her fucking sire, Dante. 

Up the stairs to the his porch. She hated how this old wooden building looked like a stereotypical vampire mansion. She hated how she was hand delivered letters like it was the goddamn 18th century. She hated Dante, ordering her around like she was a child. 

But most of all, she hated herself for just going along with it.

It wasn’t time to think about that though. Bang on the door, yell “I’m here,” wait for his ghoul to open up. 

And there he was, the sniveling pathetic man. “Good evening, Miss Cheng.” God, could he be any more stereotypical, always insisting on ‘miss.’ 

“I’m here, so it could be better.”

His lip curled, shifting his graying mustache. “Certainly. Come in, Master Dante is ready.” 

Eden was already walking in the door. 

Dante’s haven had shockingly modern furniture for his age; probably because he was feral in the woods with the Sabbat less than a decade ago, and only recently joined society. Eden’s lips curled in distaste upon passing the foyer; he had bought more wine that he did not drink. What a joke. She made a note to ask him sometime if he even remembered what alcohol tasted like. 

Eden made a point to stomp wet snow and mud on the rug specifically on the way to his office. The door was open, and she swung it open without a second thought. 

“Sup.” 

“No knock today?” Dante gave his standard asshole grin and ran his hand through his hair as he replied. “Sit down.” 

Eden did as he was told, and said nothing. He hoped that Dante didn’t know what ‘sup’ meant and was just refusing to ask. 

Wait, oh my god. Was that another skull on his desk. 

“Is that another skull?”

“How observant, Miss Cheng. Yes, it is.” 

Eden almost spat on his desk at that; he hated being called miss. Second time tonight. However, he had previously told her not to spit in his office. She gave him a tight smile instead as he continued. 

Dante picked up the skull and looked at it, holding it just above eye level, as if he was in a goddamn theater. “This fellow is actually what I am here to talk to you about tonight. Can you feel it, Eden?” 

Eden sucked in her breath, stalling as he tried to come up with a witty reply. Failing that, she just said “no.” 

Dante’s grin never faltered. “Not surprised, you are certainly not a natural.” Bastard. “Look at this skull. Deep into its eyes. It’s a surprisingly strong fetter, even you should be able to discern this. Take it.” 

Eden took it, though she felt absolutely nothing. 

“You shall show this to Peyton, and request their sire take a look at it.”  

Peyton’s mysterious sire. Dante was always asking about her, in a roundabout way, though Eden had no idea why he was so fixated on her. “And what’s in it for you?”

“Promise them more where that came from if they teach you how to feast upon its energies. Do not show Anisha until Peyton promises you something, even if they cannot commit to fully teaching you.” 

“What.” 

“What is the confusion?” 

“You want me to ask them to teach me to feed off of energy? Huh? Isn’t our whole deal that we eat blood and only blood?”

“Eden, you sound like a fool.” 

“No, you do, what the hell dude. Vampire 101” 

“I’ve told you not to curse. It’s disrespectful. Now, do as I said”

Eden stood up abruptly, and stalked off without a word. She almost punched the ghoul when he tried to get the door for her. 

“Miss Cheng, you may want a bag for the, erm, skull.” 

“Don’t fucking call me that.” He stuffed the skull under his armpit, mostly hiding it, and headed out. 

Time to text Peyton, or whatever. It was difficult to do with one hand. 

“Hey need to talk to u got somethin”

Eden was not about to carry this thing around all night. He stalked back to the apartment complex where he had been making his haven recently. It was a good hour long walk, and the skull was already digging uncomfortably into her. 

She gritted her teeth and continued. 

~

In her current, temporary as usual, apartment, she set the skull casually on the kitchen counter. Seeing Peyton hadn’t texted back, he pulled up a stool and stared at this skull. 

It looked like a regular skull, not much notable about it. It was fairly white, so couldn’t be that old. Eden reached out and rubbed the top of it, trying to tap into well, something, but there was nothing. No energy, or whatever. At least not to her. 

Eden had only turned on one light; the room was dim and shadowy. Closing her eyes for a moment, she gathered the shadows around her - something she usually did to stalk prey in the middle of the night. 

Now, looking at her hand, or rather, trying to - it was cloaked in shadow - she lifted the skull once again, unintentionally similar to how her sire did. 

He focused in. Were the shadows darker, or just in his imagination? 

As she waited for something, anything, her phone vibrated. Eden put the skull down. 

Peyton had replied, finally. 

“Ok i’m free”

“Cool im at apartment 109 come when ya ready” 

Guess she’ll just bullshit it. 

[officialgleamstar]

Personal DnDads Pride Headcanons

some of these are simple but most are paragraphs long because of who I am as a person (incapable of saying things concisely), so they're going under a readmore. vaguely organized by age group.

one quick note: feel free to cheer on or rag on any of these that you please, variety in opinion is the spice of fandom life! everyone's headcanons are so real and valid to me, i am a strong believer in having as many contradicting fandom opinions as you want. for this list, i just went with everything that is "default" to my fan content. others' transfem sparrow is shaking hands with my gnc sparrow and yes, i'm listing that one on purpose, because if you make fun of transfem sparrow, you are getting hit by my bat. be fucking nice.

please enjoy!

Season 1 Dads and Spouses

Carol is a lesbian. This is simply canon to me. It’s important that this is first and visible to everyone.

Bi/pan polyamorous Henry and Mercedes is also simply canon to me. Honestly that one might be fully canon based on some of the things that happen in Odyssey

Henry is unlabeled but in the sense that he calls himself ‘queer’, ‘bisexual’, ‘gay’, or ‘pansexual’, fully depending on his mood and the conversation happening

Ron is also unlabeled but in the sense that he has never thought about it in his life and isn’t intending to now

Glenn is bisexual but never talks about it unless someone else mentions it first, and he tries really really hard to never think about his gender once in his life. The queer angst I give Glenn could be a whole post of its own but just know he has issues. He does fuck men though

Darryl still isn’t really sure on his sexuality and probably never will be, but he’s actually explored it a bit, so that’s better than whatever the fuck was going on with him before the show started. Henry likes giving him subtle bear pride flag accessories because Darryl actually wears them a lot. His favorite color is brown, after all.

Jodie, Nicky, and Taylor all are bisexual with a preference for women. Sexuality isn’t genetic but it is for them specifically.

Morgan is also bisexual. Literally none of the season 1 parents are straight except maybe Samantha and even with her, my opinion fully matters on the day and how I’m feeling.

Henry and Lark have definitely had an exchange at some point where Lark asked him how it was to ‘experience twink death’, to which Henry just went ‘get back to me in a few years on that, kid.’ and Lark spent the rest of the week furiously moping because clearly, he’s a twunk, Father- (words of a man who did not take care of himself well enough from the ages of 18-25 to ever be a twunk)

This is my little shipper brain but Jodie only realized he liked men after being stuffed into the Odyssey and being around Ron 24/7 for months on end (and the demon stuff, but he didn’t know that yet for obvious reasons). In his timeline, he had a whole arc about it and now he’s persistently attracted to strange men who don’t make sense as well as women light-years out of his league. He’s still a little miffed that Henry doesn’t remember the very long conversations they had about it, but him and Nicky get to wear matching bi pride bracelets now, so he guesses it’s fine.

Kiddads and Spouses

Lark is bisexual. He has known this since kindergarten when his parents explained what the flag all over their house was and has never thought about it since.

Lark also helped Rebecca realize she was bisexual because she would ask him about it in a class they shared in high school

This is utterly unrelated to LGBT headcanons but I think Veronica and Rebecca grew up in San Dimas with the kiddads, and were friends with them in high school. It just makes sense to me

Unlabeled Terry Junior is something that can be so personal to me. In a general sense, he likes everyone romantically, and identifies enough with the asexual spectrum to wear an ace ring, but he doesn’t really see the point in putting a name on it. He’s just Terry Junior and he’s happy with that.

Him, Lark, and Nicky did have a group chat called ‘bisexuals with an agenda’ in high school though, where they would make plans for pranking or otherwise harassing their fathers during group outings. Terry loves Ron but that does not mean he is above ruining his day. It’s done with affection.

My thoughts on Sparrow could be a full fanfiction but gonna try to keep it simple (retroactive edit: did not keep it simple). Sparrow is the token cishet of the kiddads, but in the queerest way possible. He’s an Oak-Garcia, of course he’s explored himself very thoroughly. At current, he identifies as gender non-confirming cis man, but he has had periods of his life where he transitioned and then detransitioned. In early high school, he identified as non-binary. From senior year up until just before Hero was born, he lived as a trans lesbian. He doesn’t see these periods as phases, just as his identity changing over time. Currently he’s perfectly happy identifying as a man, but wouldn’t be wholly shocked if he transitioned again. Calls himself “cis but gender is obviously, massively, a social construct and so it feels unfair to expect myself to fit into these boxes when identity can be so fluid and-”

Rebecca still calls him her wife, and also a granola lesbian or MILF from time to time because it makes him laugh, and while Nicky was still in his life, he would send Sparrow trans memes a lot. Sparrow also has always liked being seen as non-binary, he sees it as ‘winning at being androgynous’. Competitive to the sense of nonsensical Sparrow my beloved

Sparrow always wears women’s clothing but that’s for autistic reasons. They just fit nicer for his brain. It helps the gender(tm) thing though, he near exclusively wore hand-me-downs from Mercedes throughout all of high school

Sorry for talking so much about Sparrow. He’s my favorite character so he is the focus of many of my thoughts. Anyways

Never been a huge fan of the ‘Grant was outed by his crush in the Forgotten Realms’ headcanon, I think Grant came out about a year beforehand. Long enough where everything about it has settled but it’s still new enough that Darryl forgot for a split second and thought Grant might have a crush on Killa during the Four Knight arc. He’d known he liked boys a while before that, and also his parents kind of figured he was gay most of his life since he had 95% girl friends

Marco is pansexual! He met Grant in college because he worked the front desk of their dorm building and would always wear a bunch of pride pins

Nicky was Grant’s first good friend who was a boy, I like to think that they were childhood friends. Grant announced this to his dad at the age of 10 by going “Nick Close is transgender now, so that means you don’t have to worry about me only talking to girls because he’s a boy.” and Darryl went “…Alright?” and then googled what ‘transgender’ means

Speaking of, Nicky realized he was trans because of Mulan. Both Glenn and Jodie, in their respective timelines, googled ‘How do I know if my daughter is a lesbian’ before he came out because Nicky would rewatch the reflection song so often and also the tomboy-isms. Everyone felt very stupid for being surprised when he cut all of his hair off, cried, and asked to change his name

T4T Nicky and Cassandra is canon and they rubbed it into everyone's faces when they were together, Anthony is just afraid of the truth

Cassandra is trans het. I love trans het people more than anything and I love her so this makes sense to me.

Veronica is non-binary, in the sense of “girl but to the left”. They/she pronouns, calls themself a girlie and a mom but not a woman, dresses in a kickass pantsuit at formal events. I’m also in love with her

Season 2 Teens and Friends

Hero and Normal are both trans. When Hero came out, Sparrow sat Normal down to explain why Hero was now a sister instead of a brother and Normal responded with “Well, that’s not fair. How come Hero can be a girl but I can’t be a boy?!” and Sparrow just stared at him for a really long time before going “You can be a boy, honey.” and they went thrift shopping as a family for new clothes the next day

Normal is stealth trans, mostly because Hero is the same way and he copies her, but also because it doesn’t really occur to him that he passes. He just figures that people knows even though he is on testosterone and binds and presents masculine. It helps that his family presents pretty gender-neutral as a whole, so most people assume he had long hair as a kid because his parents are hippies. They had a son and daughter, both with long hair. They now have a daughter and a son, both with short hair. To the general populace, nothing has changed, they just misremembered which kid was older.

Taylor is a demi-boy and spends every year growing more and more feminine. Definitely calls their gender something like ‘boy with a dash of girl on the side’ with their friends. Growing out his hair was a newer thing and he regrets cutting it, even if it was a super cool sequence and he looked like an anime protagonist, because he liked how it framed his face.

Cassandra has always maintained an openness about her trans identity, so Taylor’s the same way. He’s always got the he/they pronoun pin on (I figure this is normalized by the time of season 2, but he’s just very pleased about it), he has a variety of trans and non-binary pride pins that he cycles through, and they like painting their nails because it’s an easy way for them to feel a little more feminine.

Cassandra’s living room is decorated with a massive trans pride flag and LED lights. The first time the teens walk into Taylor’s home, Scary says “it looks like a Twitch stream in here” at the same time that Normal says “it looks like my sister’s room in here” and they high-five while Taylor yells at them to be nice.

Hermie is genderfluid and uses any pronouns. This is real to me. He has my own teenage trait of gender shifting every three hours and never knowing what to do about it and he will be suffering with this until he exits puberty, at which point he gives up and just sees what gender other people choose for him.

Hermie is also pan/ace! No further thoughts here. She just is.

Erica just goes by queer because she doesn’t think the common passerby deserves to know her rich inner life and she’s right, they don’t

I tend to say a lot that all of the S2 kids are bisexual, and I represent them as such, but I truly believe that Lincoln and Normal both have no idea what’s going on with their sexualities. They say they’re bisexual for bisexual teen squad reasons but Normal is going through a constant crisis of “Am I gay or bisexual?” and Lincoln looks up the definition of aro/ace on a weekly basis. Neither of them will ever express this until Scary goes “maybe I’m not bisexual, actually.”

On that note, Scary is a lesbian but she’s not going to realize that until college. For now, she’s rocking with the bisexuality and pretends it’s not weird that her ‘crushes’ on boys feel wildly different than her crushes on girls. Yes I am projecting. This is not a secret. We project onto Scary here.

[usiel21]

Wednesday and Enid: A slice of life Part II

So Wednesday has discovered that she has fallen in love with Enid, and like an Addams, attempts to court Enid who is completely oblivious to Wednesday's attempts to woo her (Not really, Enid swoons every time but convinces herself that Wednesday can't possibly have feelings for her) and Wednesday's courting attempts get increasingly more bold and risqué

Enid's a werewolf? Wednesday hunts down a Buck and drag's it's carcass straight up to Ophelia Hall. Whilst sweating and swearing every two seconds because Wednesday is Hobbit Sized and is dragging a deer 1.5x her body weight. (Provide Food)

Enid's always cold? She builds her a Nest, using a combination of her own clothing's and sheets and Enid's Own. (Provide Shelter)

Enid can't sleep? Wednesday plays gentle music on her cello until Enid falls asleep (Providing safe space to sleep)

Two transfer students haven't learned that Enid is off limits to being bullied, everyone is quickly reminded as to why that is, as Enid is cornered as they harass her, they suddenly realise they fucked up as Wednesday slips in-between them, No one questions the two screaming students hanging by their ankles from the branch of a tree. (Provides Protection)

But eventually Wednesday feels the curse take hold more and tighter on her soul and decides its time to go all or nothing.

Wednesday dresses up appropriately and gets everything set up and awaits Enid's return to their dorm, she dims the lights and lights several candles and places them around the room

Soon she can hear Enid giggling and laughing as her footsteps quickly approach, she clears her throat and straightens up as the door knob begins to turn.

Enid: Wedne... (She pauses noting the room and Wednesday’s attire) Whoa...

Wednesday: Enid. In these past weeks i have attempted to woo, court and win your heart by showing you why i am an ideal Mate and Paramour for you and show the depths of my feelings for you, Alas i have been unsuccessful.

Enid: (With heart eyes) Wait! Willa I---

Wednesday: (She holds up her hand to shush the blonde) Thus you have left me no choice but to employ the most seductive form of courting known to an Addams, dancing.

And then Wednesday starts to do THE dance.

And both of them forget that Yoko is there watching all of this absolute disaster of a seduction take place and she's just watching like 

But Enid, having already seen how Wednesday dances at the Rave’N and knowing how passionate an Addams is about their art form, their love language, just watches completely transfixed, hands clasped together by her chest, heart eyes watching Wednesday’s every move. Her jealously at watching Wednesday with Tyler evaporating as Wednesday dances for her, and only her.

(I can literally see Wednesday doing what Sheldon is doing, only with an intense stare fixated on Enid Lmao)

Yoko just walks right back out, typing into her phone to Divina about how she just can’t with these two useless gay disasters

[lastweeksshirttonight]

Lee is re-watching Sherlock for some fucking reason - Season One

I'm well aware that the crossover between "currently popular and loved British comedian in the US updates, thirst, and accoutrements" and "BBC show that went so off the rails that people now like to pretend Andrew Scott's breakout role was the Hot Priest in Fleabag" is limited, but weirdly, returning to Sherlock was one of the few things that was keeping my brain somewhat grounded and whirring during Work Hell.

We're in uncharted territory here. You're gonna learn a bit about the things I do when I'm not tracking John Oliver obsessively. I am nervous about this but hey, I'm guessing most of you knew I don't solely live and breathe John Oliver. (I know. I have multitudes. This is a shocking revelation. Please take time to process it.)

Firstly, a content note - there's going to be discussion about queerbaiting and queercoding villains, and the beginning of this goes into some of James Somerton's absolutely disgusting claims about the AIDS crisis. This post will only be focused on Season One, as that's all I've finished at this point.

Let's go.

(above image sourced from Writing Tips and Memes)

My sudden re-emergent hyperfixation started because of the hbomberguy takedown of James Somerton, weirdly. I don't follow many YouTubers - I like Bright Sun Films because he goes urban exploring, something I've always wanted to do but have never managed to make happen, and also Todd in the Shadows, whose Trainwreckords series is very well-done and expertly researched. Seeing that name, you might know where this is going. Todd dropped a video about James Somerton, who I had never fucking heard of and now wish I'd known about before, so I could scream bloody murder about what an absolute fuckwad he is.

(I don't want to get too in the weeds here, but the things James asserted about WWII, Nazis, and the AIDS crisis are so vehemently offensive that I'm still struggling with them. Claiming that only boring gays survived the AIDS crisis in particular is so vile that I have gotten anger flashes thinking about it almost daily since hearing it.)

Todd recommended watching all four hours of the hbomberguy plagiarism video, and I ran that in the background while working about two weeks ago. Eventually I had to stop doing that because the plagiarism revelations were so distracting and shocking. Todd's video was even more of a goddamn mindfuck, and even the smaller, less offensive things have taken up far too much space in my brain. Californians, does anyone at all deify Bob Iger??? Like... what the goddamn fuck??? Bob Iger????

After watching one hbomberguy video, the algorithm did its thing, and gave me a video called "Sherlock is Garbage and Here's Why". Posting it here for posterity:

Because my brain works in mysterious ways (-cough-ADHD-cough-), watching this... made me want to rewatch Sherlock.

I initially saw Sherlock for the first time thanks to someone I met in my last year of college, 2012. At the time, Michael (a nickname) was my neighbor in the dorms; over the past ten years, she's become one of my closest friends and a true rock in my life. One of the first things we bonded over that I introduced her to was the San Francisco Giants and the ghost I will always be chasing, Tim Lincecum; one of the first things we bonded over that she introduced me to was BBC Sherlock. The show was in the early months of its extended hiatus after Season Two, at the height of its fandom, and we were both completely obsessed. I read all the Doyle stories, took in a truly wild amount of fanfiction, wrote a not-very-popular AU fic, became part of a strange inter-dorm ARG based on Sherlock orchestrated by Michael... it consumed a huge part of our lives.

When Season 3 dropped, I almost stopped watching after "The Empty Hearse". I don't want to get into why it offended me so much before we get to a Season 3 post, but just know my enthusiasm severely dampened there. The rest of Season 3 I think of with blase emotions, especially the ending, which I found just dumb, save one part of it. I recall going to see The Abominable Bride in theatres with my mom (and maybe Michael?), and I think I liked it fine - aside, again, from the ending. But I had no interest in a Season Four, and when it dropped, Michael's long rambling phone calls describing the absolute shitstorm of a plot cemented that I was never going to watch it again.

Until now.

I definitely don't think the hbomberguy video is perfect. His insistence that Doyle canon never had Holmes pull answers to cases out of his ass is... something, lol, as is his opinion that changing the solution to certain puzzles in A Study in Pink disrespects the original canon. (Bro, these stories have been retold a bajillion times, they need to mix it up to keep it interesting.) But he put a finger on something that I'd wrestled with regarding Sherlock for a long time - that the show's writing often teased something big and new and conclusive in the horizon, but almost never delivered. That wasn't an issue in early days when there was less invested in an increasingly convoluted mythic story, or when they weren't fully blowing off the resolutions to cliffhangers, but the flaw in writing a story where you promise something huge on the horizon and never deliver should be obvious.

The first season doesn't trade much in that idea, and going back to it was something I found exceptionally enjoyable!

Before I watched:

I remembered bits and pieces of "A Study in Pink" and the whole plot in summary.

I truly didn't remember anything about "The Blind Banker" except that I found it fairly 'yellow peril'-y when I saw it in 2012.

I mixed up huge chunks of Season Two's "A Scandal in Belgravia" with "The Great Game" in my head and somehow forgot the main plot thrust was Moriarty kidnapping people and strapping bombs to them.

I genuinely forgot Sebastian Moran was a character basically hallucinated into existence by the fandom and didn't appear in the show at all until a brief appearance in Season Three.

In a way, it was like I was watching the show for the first time all over again. My partner also watched the first season with me, and it was interesting to get his thoughts on the show as we watched.

To start, his favorite character is Mycroft. Watching Season One, I had to agree that Mycroft has a depth of character that I'd forgotten about. Mark Gatiss plays him perfectly, aloof and smarter than you but unsure of how to deal with his natural feelings of concern and fear for his oft-spiraling, danger-seeking younger brother - and how those feelings magnify with the influence of extreme danger-seeker (at least in this season) John Watson. The show wants you to believe so badly that he's Moriarty in "A Study in Pink", which I don't think works even if you know he isn't Moriarty - there's a warmth to Gatiss' Mycroft that, even while he's doing incredibly ominous things like shutting off all cameras in a busy intersection, still comes through.

My favorite character is Moriarty. I haven't mentioned this very much here, because why would I, but my favorite character type in media is "theatrical abject shithead". It's why I cosplay Bakugo from My Hero Academia and loved everything about Akechi in Persona 5. Hell when I was a kid, I told teachers that when I grew up, I wanted to join Team Rocket. I love the theatrical shitheads. And boy, is Moriarty some sort of theatrical shithead. I don't DISAGREE with hbomberguy pointing out that, as written, Moriarty is a complete mess of a character, a queer-coded literal terrorist with no motivations besides "I did that because I'M CRAAAAZY!"... but he's my queer-coded literal terrorist, ok? I could write a whole paper on all the harmful stereotypes inhabiting this version of Moriarty... but I can't deny that the flamboyance and violence pulsing just beneath the surface of Andrew Scott's performance was the beating heart of that show for me. Sure, Sherlock and John, at least early on, were a compelling duo, but the show was at its best with Moriarty pulling strings for inexplicable reasons in the background. I love him.

(An aside: watching Sherlock made me remember how hilarious it was to see basically every major actor from the show in one of my favorite movies of all time, 1917, to the point that I actually kinda laughed in the theatre thinking about it.)

The entirety of the first season also is more devoted to actual crime-solving and detective work than I remembered the show being. I think that works strongly in its favor, and as I recall things from later seasons, drifting from that element definitely hampers the show greatly. In particular, while the lazy and uncomfortable Orientalism of "The Blind Banker" is still incredibly glaring, the actual mystery at the core of it is very excitingly tracked and easily followed while watching. The fact that John is treated like an equal (mostly) throughout only enhances my thoughts on that. "The Great Game" is a little more slapdash (and hurt by the fact that the entire Vermeer section would be solvable with a smartphone nowadays), but you can still make connections mentally with most of the cases and deduction/investigation is being shown logically. (hbomberguy cites the Golem as a problematic logical leap akin to some of Season Two's dumbest, and I can't agree. It's a reasonable suspension of disbelief to assume Sherlock knows about assassins and is followed by some more sensible investigation and inspection of the Golem's victim. The sequence of Sherlock fighting the Golem, however, is very, very silly.)

Related to that... the autopsy doctors on this show are fucking AWFUL at their jobs. Like straight-up negligently awful. How in the actual fuck did they not investigate the puncture marks on Connie Price's body? How did they not notice a highly distinctive heel tattoo on three recently-murdered corpses? Is Molly the only vaguely competent person in the mortuary? My partner and I were extremely amused that, while Lestrade and his police force are thankfully shown with much more intelligence than in other Holmes adaptations and BBC!Watson wouldn't think jam is a clue, the writers seem to have shunted the stupidity straight to the invisible autopsy doctors.

The first season also does a good job of making Sherlock seem like an overly intelligent if socially stunted human being, instead of the condescending prickish intellectual Ubermensch he ends up becoming as the show progresses. "A Study in Pink"'s ending being Sherlock throwing aside his deduction of the cabbie's killer when he realizes it's Watson, unconvincingly lying to Lestrade and insisting he's in shock before rejoining the other man and genuinely bonding with him, is remarkably compelling as fulfillment of a promise we get from Lestrade earlier in the episode - "Sherlock Holmes is a great man. One day he may even be a good one." My memory is admittedly faulty, but part of why "The Empty Hearse" turned me off so viscerally was Sherlock's (and to an extent, Mycroft's) insufferable growing smugness, particularly where explaining plans or mysteries to John. We get told often that Watson humanizes Sherlock and that the two have a strong bond throughout the series, but Sherlock gets much more dickish in general as the series progresses. One thing I do remember with stark clarity is that after being utterly chastised at a Christmas party in "A Scandal in Belgravia", Sherlock does visibly treat Molly MUCH better throughout the remainder of the show. So, uh, why did we lose that energy with the show's central pairing?

Speaking of the show's central pairing, the queerbaiting starts SO EARLY on this show. I want to make it clear that obviously the benefit of hindsight and knowledge of how the show ends really colors a lot about the Johnlock relationship now, and as a society, we're more aware of what queerbaiting is and what it looks like, which will obviously alter how I perceive these interactions now. I also want to make it clear that I never really shipped Johnlock outside of just kind of assuming that it would be canon because everyone seemed really convinced of it. (I was an absolute degenerate that shipped John with Moriarty. On top of enjoying theatrical disasters, I enjoy ships with an abundance of chaos and impossibility.) There's some biases at play here.

Even so, we are not far into the episode where John is protesting that obviously he needs a second bed in 221B to Mrs. Hudson, he's not gay! The scene in the restaurant has such an aggressively shippy energy to it (despite Watson's consistent denials) that I actively commented on it to my partner as it was happening, saying "the queerbaiting happens WAY SOONER than I thought!" It's distracting and has aged absolutely terribly. The worst by far is John quipping, after being removed from a bomb vest at a pool in "The Great Game", that people will talk because of Sherlock ripping his clothes off in a darkened swimming pool. Why is Watson's heterosexuality so fragile that he's thinking about gossip rags as he's actively recovering from a near-death experience?!

(Aside: I'm aware that last point is not as effective when you think about the fact that I shipped two characters whose sole canonical interaction was one man kidnapping and forcing the other into a bomb vest. In my defense, a) I love mess and b) John never quips about thinking people will talk because he got kidnapped.)

Moriarty's first appearance in "The Great Game" sees him as Molly's fake boyfriend slipping a phone number to Sherlock, which lead to my partner commenting about how distracting it also was, on top of the queerbaiting, that almost every single person on the show has some sort of deep metaphysical attraction to Sherlock. Those people aren't on the lighting and cinematography team for sure; Benedict Cumberbatch is lit ominously and sometimes demonically throughout the first season, highlighting his antihero and brusque nature effectively. But many, many characters in the show - just in season one, Molly, Moriarty, multiple characters of the day, the Cabbie, and John - are all drawn to Sherlock and his very special brain and his very sharp cheekbones. Signs of a big future problem come through in this way, where the show starts sidelining Watson as our central figure and puts Sherlock squarely at the center of everyone's universe and makes lesbians fall in love with him.

(My partner also laughed pretty hard at how obvious Moriarty's pratfalls were as Molly's boyfriend, noting that the show was pretty bad at hiding who Moriarty was every time it came up.)

Some of the seeds of Sherlock's destruction are sown in this first season, obviously. The big one I haven't touched on is the ending cliffhanger itself. Moriarty has John and Sherlock trapped in the pool, tens of sniper sights trained on them, and says that he can't let them escape. Amazing cliffhanger here! It is not fulfilled on at all, but because Andrew Scott can carry anything on his back (including Spectre, which I cannot start talking about because we'll be here all day), the scene doesn't feel like a total waste and makes you want to hang on to find out what happens later.

But there was so much here that was delightful. All the acting is uniformly excellent, and the overt physical tics that come to define Sherlock's mind palace and mental prowess being showcased are barely evident here. The actual detective work, like I said earlier, is really involving! I don't feel like I figured out the solutions for the mysteries I couldn't recall the answers for too easily and thought Sherlock's deductive reason largely followed and wasn't too obscure. I'm still such a sucker for the show's style - that opening credits sequence is so perfectly put together, the text messages that interact with the scene and at the time made this show feel so fresh and modern to me, filming the character's faces in taxis through panes of glass and obscuring material in "A Study in Pink" to give everything an obfuscating sheen... give me all of it.

The music, too, was something I'd forgotten about and truly ended up adoring. Taskmaster (and The Horne Section's score for it) really owes a debt to Michael Price and David Arnold. So much of Sherlock's score could probably be dropped straight into a Taskmaster episode and I would have to think pretty hard to notice a difference in the show's usual musical palette. I've been eyeballing the vinyl on eBay, to give you an idea of how much I love this score. "The Game is On" is a perfect piece of music, clockwork spinning noises emphasizing the jauntiness of Sherlock as he drags Watson on his latest case before sliding into the more subdued, vaguely ominous thrum of its second movement descending into the madness of the third part, violins shrieking as the action reaches its apex.

Normally, with such a degree of pleasant surprise, I'd be eager to move forward to Season Two. Unfortunately, I know the first episode of Season Two is... a doozy. To say the least. A doozy that may get its own essay because of how doozy-ish it is.

In any case, I ended up really enjoying going back to Season One of Sherlock! Super down to talk further about the show, future write-ups, and my horrible taste in fictional ships and men - shoot me a message, reply to this post, wherever, I'll be here! <3

[sunriseverse]

prompt request: pangzi pouring hot water on xiaoge's bare chest, revealing his tattoo, but in the GAYEST and most TENDER way you can manage it.

i am SO late filling this prompt but hopefully this is sufficiently gay and tender.

-

The thing about tombs is, the getting in is easy enough—oh, sure, there’s the requisite amounts of traps, awful things that would give those unaccustomed to this sort of life creeping, crawling nightmares—; it’s the getting out that’s the tricky bit. All those dukes and barons and what-have-you never much minded people coming in—rather, they have always been more concerned with making sure no one gets out with their funerary treasures in tow. There’s a reason why tombs are known to be full of corpses, and it’s not just the ones originally buried there. The Iron Triangle, though—they’re about as used to this as can be, all considered; when you spend the better part of your life in tombs—Pangzi and Xiaoge—or studying the notes of someone who did—Wu Xie—, you gain a sort of long-suffering acceptance for whatever bullshit they throw at you.

Which is why Pangzi is only complaining mildly as they make the last leg of the hike out of this place. “Don’t they know how to build a better tomb,” Pangzi says, trying to peel the muck and waterweeds drying uncomfortably on his skin off from an unfortunate run in with a pond, water beetles, and far too many bones on the bottom of it. “What, are all of the architects stuck in the fifteenth century? What sort of Yuan bullshit…”

“Yes,” Wu Xie deadpans. “It’s from the end of the Yuan period, didn’t you spend two days reading over my shoulder while I was researching?”

“Semantics,” Pangzi huffs. “Xiaoge, don’t you think there’s far more muck ponds in tombs than there should be?”

“Mn,” says Xiaoge, forging the path ahead. He, if it’s possible, is even dirtier than Wu Xie and Pangzi combined, probably because he got trapped beneath the two of them when they fell through the false floor, an event that had led to Pangzi, trying not to panic, as they fished around blindly to drag him to the surface. It’s not an experience he’s keen on repeating. His hair is slicked down against his skull, dull brown with mud, and his hoodie is probably beyond saving at this point. He’s taken off the strap that holds his sword, opting instead to hold the sheath in his hand. Out of them all, that sheath is probably the least affected—the black and gold is as lustrous as ever, unmarred by any crackling brown dried mud.

It’s unfortunate that they’re pretty far from the house, so they’ll have to make camp for the night once they get out, and continue along in the morning, but as luck will have it, it’s shading into summer, and when they breach the entrance—well, side entrance; the main entrance has locked itself up tight as a clam—, the air is almost balmy, a welcome change from the underground chill of the tomb. Wu Xie, who spent the past few days pouring over maps, confidently takes the lead and takes them to a small creek, where they set up camp, including a fire and a decent excuse for a meal made of dried, sealed food that had managed to escape the muck, some foraged greens, and a lucky rabbit. Once Wu Xie finishes his portion, he lets out a wispy sigh and says, “I’m going to sleep. Wake me up when we leave.”

“You’re going to sleep like that?” Pangzi says, gesturing at him—grey mud dried at the edges of his face where he hadn’t been able to wipe it off, his shirt crinkling and shedding grey matter as he moves, his hair, the faint wave of it lost as it clumps together.

Wu Xie raises a brow. “I’ll survive,” he says. “I can take a shower once we get back.” With that, he fishes out the—somewhat affected—bedroll from his pack and rolls it out far enough from the campfire so as to avoid the heat and brightness, and promptly turns on his side and goes to sleep. Pangzi meets Xiaoge’s gaze across the campfire where the other man is quietly finishing the last of his food, and can’t help the grin that tugs at the corners of his lips, mirrored in the way the corners of Xiaoge’s eyes gentle as they brush over the sleeping form of their third.

Xiaoge, though—Pangzi knows him well enough to recognise the slight stiffness in his motions, the lack of a wince where, in anyone else, there would be one. Xiaoge may not complain, but Pangzi knows he doesn’t enjoy being dirty like this. For a moment, he considers just dragging Xiaoge into the creek, washing off together, before he catches sight of the pot over the fire again and has a better idea.

He washes the pot and the bowls under Xiaoge’s patient gaze, and then himself. When he brings the pot back to the fire, full of water, Xiaoge tilts his head in silent question. “You can’t keep walking around like that,” Pangzi tells him, and gently tugs at the hoodie half glued to his frame. “The top, at least—I’m not going to make you walk around without any pants.”

“No,” Xiaoge says, and there’s mirth in his tone. “Not that far.”

“Aiyah, Xiaoge’r!” Pangzi scolds, hitting his shoulder gently. “Quit running your mouth and take off your clothes.”

In the end, though, rather than Xiaoge taking off his clothes, Pangzi winds up doing it for him—half because of the way the clothes stick to Xiaoge’s skin too much for him to easily get them off, half because—well, sue him, he likes having his hands on Xiaoge in gentle, mundane ways like this. The zipper goes, and Pangzi gently slides the hoodie off his shoulders, then his arms, then helps him get his undershirt off as well, the grey of it almost disguising how dirty it is. Once he gets to skin, it’s to find that not even the clothes have managed to save Xiaoge, and he lets out a quiet sigh. “Aiya,” he murmurs, and reaches to dip one of the bowls into the pot of water and gently pours it over Xiaoge’s shoulder, gently scrubbing at his skin with his fingertips to get rid of the filth. Xiaoge stays remarkably still, head bowed, and beneath his fingers, Xiaoge’s skin slowly heats.

It doesn’t take long for Xiaoge’s tattoo to begin to show up, and Pangzi can’t help the way his fingers hesitate to touch it. To his surprise, though, Xiaoge’s hand comes up to gently press his hand to the skin, and Pangzi can’t help but shiver slightly at the intimacy. The time it takes to fully clean the dried muck off of him isn’t long, but it feels like a small eternity—breath caught in his throat, heart pounding beneath the cage of his ribs, hard enough that he’s half convinced Xiaoge can hear it. When the water runs out, Xiaoge’s skin washed clean, he can’t help but gently draw his fingers across the lines of the qilin, feel the gentle beat of Xiaoge’s heart beneath his skin. Without thinking about it, he duck his head and presses a kiss in the wake of his touch.

For a moment, Xiaoge tenses beneath the touch, and he almost thinks he’d misread the atmosphere, before Xiaoge lets out an almost imperceptible sigh, body relaxing, and Pangzi can’t help but smile against his skin.

It doesn’t go far; they’re both tired, and the woods are no place for any sort of intense activities, but when he raises his head, Xiaoge meets his gaze with dark, luminous eyes full of a fond heat, and Pangzi can’t help but reach out to cradle his jaw, kiss his cheeks, his nose, his lips. Xiaoge’s fingers bury themselves in his hair for just long enough for them to exchange lazy, unhurried kisses—Xiaoge’s lips soft, his mouth warm, head tilted so they fit together, nose pressing against Pangzi’s cheek. When he draws back, they just stay like that for a few, long moments, before a yawn cracks Pangzi’s jaw. “Bed,” Xiaoge says, decisive, and Pangzi can’t help but smile as he allows himself to be herded across camp, the fire put out and the bedrolls unrolled next to Wu Xie’s, the last memory before sleep that of his lovers on either side of him.

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

Thank you for creating this account, you are so brave.

Prefacing: I used to tolerate TS and her music when I was a teen and couldn't really avoid it. Now I'm 25 and I find her abhorrent as a human being.

(I'm not American and where I am from TS was never a Big Hit, unless we're talking 14 year old girls that eventually grow out of liking her. It's not entirely for a good reason, my country's a bit too conservative-brainwashed to like a self-proclained "girl boss" on a gov. level.)

Something that I noticed about that cult-like worship of that frankly boring woman is that most of the interesting shit about her is 1. made up 2. not about her music and I DO NOT understand how this is even considered a singer anymore.

Like, for example. A bunch of liberal queers like her because they take her bland music and fill it with their own meanings. Her lyrics are so soulless and boring and generic you can apply them to anything. You don't have to go listen to staples of quuer music like what drag queens, or queer women, or Black gay men create: because their music is visceral, it speaks onto real lived through opression that not everyone can relate to. But not with fucking TS! She writes the most TYPICAL line and a bunch of people assign some secret gay meaning to it. The amount of times I saw TS added to playlists for queer content is ridiculous. Like she wouldn't be half as popular if her music was regarded as what it is: straight white girl soliloquy.

The shit about her love life? Should not be fucking mentioned in regards to her as an artist. She's SO fucking fake. She will complain that people only see her as some girl who dates all those guys but she's the one fucking monetizing her love story. I'd understand if she didnt TRY TO but she fucking does! She knows she's bland and boring and she relies on people liking gossip enough to listen to her crap.

ok quick note when you said “liberal queers” it should be “queer liberals”. im assuming english isnt your first language so your native tongue has different grammatical rules but in this instance you put “queer” in front of “liberal.” i just don’t want you to be accused of being homophobic or anything so this is a quick note for you

you said you were 25 and everyone who’s been following this blog has been 20+ demographic in particular. i think it must be because we’re old enough to remember her entire journey starting w the 2009 kanye west mtv incident up until this moment. her staunchest swifties on here were born after the fearless release 💀

hmmmm i always wonder what people imply by Taylor Swift being a global superstar. like she’s isn’t popular in the entire continent of Africa but that doesn’t count apparently? and as much as she is popular in south asia, so much news is framed with a western perspective and all westerners think whiteness is default, and this includes taylor swift. i wouldnt be surprised if theyre inflating her popularity abroad as they are here in the states. idk

and so true! she’s known for her controversies and dating drama. even her music is known not for its success but ppl questioning the legitimacy of her grammys she’s received for her music.

also your gaylor hate—i understand. im not straight and i think gaylors were lobotomized by taylor swift’s music like genuinely these bitches have bricks for brains. there are soooooooo many better queer musicians especially musicians of color who write songs of their literal shared experience of queer love, identity, etc. but here they go theorizing that taylor seift and karlie kloss secretly dated 😭 it reminds me of this convo i had with my friend about gay people admiring/looking up to straight and cis people and labelling them as “gay icons.” its so stupid and reductive and continues to marginalize actual queer artists.

also talking abt taylor swift playlists i will never forget when i found spotify’s bad bunny x taylor swift playlist inspired by their photo from the 2023 grammys 💀 it was so dumb

“straight white girl soliloquy” PERIOD ANON! i need to start making a list of what you guys say cause its fkn fire

taylor swift embedded her relationships so deeply into her brand and music that its inseparable from herself. she really does define herself by her partners and her fans do too, which is why they expected this to be a joe alwyn album.

she really is so unoriginal and unremarkable and that’s why her thing WORKS. because to swifties she’s like “another everyday girl like you and me :)” 🙄 whatever. yuck!

[remembertheplunge]

Commentary Re: 6 feet Under finale video

1:49pm. 8/13/2016 Saturday

The Arbor Coffee House

Oakland, California

Six Feet Under—scene finale “Everyone’s waiting”

“Ouch, I have lost myself again”

Theme song from the last episode of 6 feet under plays.

Ahhhh—chills!

Thought about that last episode on the drive over to Oakland from Modesto.

My life post the Big D has become a series of last episode vignettes— Future dashes they will never see.

Birthday parties, weddings and funerals replaced by a ready pallet, a play, a movie or a drive.

End of entry

Notes 7/24/2024

6 Feet Under was a TV show that ran from 2001-2005. It was about a family in Los Angeles that ran a Mortuary. Its episodes dealt with the outrageous dance of life and death. It had a strong gay friendly storyline. It was very evolved and "in your face" for its time.

In the show finale, a time line is presented visually revealing how most of the major show characters died as the years rolled on.

I think it’s interesting that the I phone which has become so ubiquitous in our current lives, does not exist in the future portrayed in the finale. How could they have known? 

They give a 2005 “No I Phone" flavor to the rest of the century. I kind of like that!

As much as we video and photograph everything now with our I phone, as the older brother’s ghost whisper’s to his sister at the beginning of the video “You can’t take a picture of that, it’s already gone”.

In the entry, I refer to the Big D. That was my nick name for my being disinherited from the family trust leading to estrangement from my family. So, there would no future birthdays, weddings or funeral involving them, unlike the characters in 6 feet under.

"A ready pallet" means that I am open to what wants to happen.

[puregaalee]

PureGaaLee's WIP Your Heart 2023: Event Wrap

Hello, PGL followers and event participants. I am going to start this event wrap on a somber and necessarily serious note.

If you were keeping track of the event dates, then you know this event wrap was originally scheduled to be released mid October when the WIPYHO officially ended. That did not happen due to the increased and on-going assault on Gaza, Palestine by the settler-colony known as Israel. With the genocide still currently unfolding, my attention and priorities have not been on fandom--and I know I am not alone in that.

I wanted to post-pone making this event wrap-up because of what's happening, but now that it's been nearly two months since the end of the event, I did not want to keep participants waiting. So I apologize for the wait, but I hope people are not only understanding, but also paying close attention to the escalation in ethnic cleansing taking place and doing what they can for Palestinians whether that's sharing posts, donating, or going to protests.

Thank you to everyone for bearing with me and thank you so much for your participation in this event. Below the cut is the official event-wrap up. Please make sure to check out all the wonderful pieces by the author/artist duos who made this event possible.

And please keep Palestine in your hearts.

WIPYHO Ao3 Collection

The Ball, the Boxing Match, and the Bedchamber by a_gay_poster/@ghoste-catte with art by @romanticdeity [NSFW]:   When gentleman pugilist Rock Lee makes the acquaintance of a prince in a most unexpected way, he does not anticipate how much his life will change. Nor does he anticipate the dangerous feelings the prince will inspire.

Born Under Punches by urieskooki/@urieskooki with art by @bayheart: Team Gai have been sent on a mission to track down the Akatsuki member who's been whisking away jinchūriki with terrifying efficiency. When a clue left behind at the site of the Ichibi’s capture leads them to Amegakure, Lee must put aside any distractions to do one thing: complete the mission - even if those distractions include rescuing his missing team and the mysterious boy he keeps running into around the city.

The Grapes of Debauchery by solas_oiche with art by @bayheart [NSFW]: Lee gets drunk. Shenanigans ensue. How does it always end up being Gaara’s problem in the end?

Kept Under Lock and Key by bananahwormz/@bananahwormz with art by @arecu21: Gaara discovered his proclivity for the same sex at some point in his teen or young adult life, but it wasn't something he paid much attention to or cared much about compared to all his other priorities. Sometimes he would confuse friendships for crushes, but due to either what he would later discover to be a fear of rejection or a fear of himself, he vowed to never act on these emotions. Believing himself to be alone in the way he loves and who he loves, he lets infatuation come over him and run its course before finally letting go every time and making his peace. As his paramours marry the women of their dreams, proving his theories correct, his need—no, WANT—for romantic companionship becomes easier to tame. But one bachelor seems hard-set to challenge his precepts, whether intentionally or not. How and why is Papa Lee still single? And would he ever consider…

My Home is Your Home by Luna_Lee/@sagemoderocklee with art by Roarsh/@roarshackle Gaara's new apartment isn't much, but in his mind it's perfect. It might be tiny, but it has what he needs: a bedroom, a living room, a bathroom, a teeny tiny kitchen, and a rather attractive neighbor. But it also has something that wasn't mentioned in the lease.

Not a Place of Honor by ghostinthestalls/@ghost-in-the-stalls with art by @pannaflara: Rock Lee is a soldier in the Konoha military, sent down to unearth the greatest - and possibly also the worst - discovery in human history.

Not God, Not Us, But Something Else by ghostinthestalls/@ghost-in-the-stalls with art by @reject-tiefling: The Lovelink Program from Anteros Co. is finally up and running - much to Rock Lee's distaste, and his friends' excitement. Love takes hard work (two things Lee is very passionate about!), but everyone has their moments of self-doubt. Pushing through years and layers of it is hard enough already in the face of a corporation telling him they can make it all easier for a small fee. Complicating things further is the unsettling man from his dreams who Lee has now begun to see in his waking life. What does it mean to properly love a person, specially curated just for you?

Sing a Song of Sleeptide by solas_oiche with art by kairn_orz: Five times that Lee and Gaara share each other’s beds, and one time they share their own.

Triple Time by gidget_goes/@gidget-goes with art by @slap-my-hand: Even a centuries-old war or the bitterest of winter storms won’t dull the lavish gleam of Konoha’s royal court. For Gaara and his siblings, though, the glitz of the aristocracy is just a cover. They’ve been sent North by their father on a deadly mission: to retrieve an ancient artefact, powerful enough to end the war – and the nation of Konoha – for good. But when he begins to fall for a kindhearted serving boy, Gaara finds his loyalties are thrown into disarray. Soon enough, he’s questioning his whole quest for victory. Will he remain true to his father, and fight for crown and glory? Or will new bonds and old dreams push him to strive for peace? And can he manage to convince his family that love is greater than any old treasure? (Probably not. It is a pretty baller artefact.)

[spiderfreedom]

If this blog is going to be of any use, then I need to be able to speak freely. I need to not worry about whether I'm going to gain notes, reblogs, lose followers, get anon hate. The moment I prioritize that over speaking the truth, I've reverted back to the pandering person I was for ten years. And that was intolerable.

It's frustrating, to be frank. I view myself as having a commitment to social justice in general. I also choose to specialize in women's issues, because I am a woman and I see how we are treated. I've written before about why I think radical feminism is a good framework for dealing with women's issues, more than other feminisms.

But I know I have a fair amount of divergence from other radical feminists. I've written about how historical radical feminist works have a loose relationship with science and epistemology. And I think it's time to bring up the elephant of the room, which is how this relates to trans issues.

"Are you a TERF?!? Are you a TIRF?!?!? Are You an SJW?!?!?" I don't think there's a cutesy acronym that encompasses what I believe. I've come to my position on women's issues and trans issues from years of reading arguments on the internet, from consuming books and scientific studies, from talking to people in real life. I've spoken to a lot of trans people as well as detransitioned people. Many of my friends are transgender. I am a gender non conforming autistic woman, who has also been pressured by friends to identify as non-binary. All of this has informed my thinking, and makes it very hard to package into something consumable.

I suspect that there exists something known as sex dysphoria. I know we know very little about gendered dysphoria in general. We don't know what causes it. We don't seem to know how to distinguish dysphoria from the pain of living in a misogynistic world. We don't seem to have a good clinical way to tell who will go on to have persistent, life-long and treatment-resistant dysphoria and who will just grow up to be autistic and or gay and who will not seek transition. There's a lot that we don't know, and that means I have to move in a position of scientific humility. I've had radfems tell me dysphoria is caused entirely by society, and I've had gender identity advocates tell me dysphoria is totally biological. Being that the majority of research on dysphoria is of low quality in any direction and very small numbers, to stake a position on this would be nothing but epistemological arrogance.

I do think the genie is out of the bottle, and there will continue to be larger numbers of people transitioning in the future (compared to 20th century numbers). We need to figure out how to handle the integration of trans people into the communities they wish to be a part of. I think there will be conflicts between the desires of trans people and cis people, and the most pertinent for me are the desires of cis/non-transgender women and transgender women when it comes to integration into female-only spaces. I also think that the language used around what gender identity "is" poses a threat to the fight against misogyny and needs serious scientific revision to become a useful concept.

I've written about the ways in which trans women fail to identify with and work with non-transgender/cis women on issues of misogyny. I think trans women telling cis women that it is not okay to talk about hating men or men as a class because it "leads to transmisogyny" is an unacceptable violation of our freedom of speech and our ability to vocalize our oppression. Your right to have your dysphoria accommodated ends at the moment where you tell me I cannot talk about the downsides of female embodiment. Your right to have your dysphoria accommodated ends at the moment where you tell me I cannot talk about male oppression of female people. Your right to have your dysphoria accommodated ends at the moment that housing trans women and cis women together (prison) results in cis women falling pregnant from rape.

So, what about trans women? I have known several in my life. The vast majority are desperately poor. Some are homeless. I've invested a significant amount of my time into helping homeless trans women find shelter. Trans women face severe employment discrimination.

I think a lot of radical feminists like to assume that all trans women are programmers in Google who transitioned after lengthy careers earning 6 figures. This could not be further from the truth. Most trans women are poor, cannot find housing, and cannot find jobs.

I have a special commitment to female people, but as I mentioned above, I also have a commitment to social justice in general. I don't think it's acceptable in society that trans women should suffer so severely economically for being publicly gender non-conforming. I'm not sure what the best policy solution for this would be. But I think a start would be shelters specifically for trans women, and greater society of gender non-conformity in general. I want nothing more than for my transfem friends to have safe housing, jobs that treat them with dignity, and economic security in general.

Can these two attitudes - trans women are overwhelmingly economically insecure / demands made by many trans women for inclusion result in cis women silencing their experiences of misogyny and may also result in forced pregnancy at worst case scenario - coexist? I think yes. The truth is every minority/marginalized group has demands that conflict with the demands of other minority groups. We need theory to help us decide how to proceed in these conflicts. We need to look at individual cases. We need to think about policy.

My priority will always be female people, and I have no compunction about that. But - perhaps I am optimistic, but I believe we can continue to fight misogyny and to fight for the liberation of female people - girls and women - while also fighting the economic impoverishment and injustice that transgender people face. I do not believe that every demand made by certain activists for inclusion can be met, but I also don't believe it's necessary to meet every single one of those demands to improve quality of life and justice for transgender people. Moreover, I think it is the only way to move forward from the 'gender wars' without harming cis women, without popularizing and medicalizing/aestheticizing gender roles, and without harming transgender people.

[droughtofapathy]

The Gilded Age's Broadway Divas: Caroline "Lina" Schermerhorn Astor (Donna Murphy)

A queen among her people, Mrs. Astor rules over New York high society, and spends the show being challenged by New Money Bertha Russell at every turn.

Two-time Tony winner Donna Murphy is one of Broadway's greatest Divas. Though most recognize her as the voice of Disney's Mother Gothel in Rapunzel, her voice is better known to me personally as one of my earliest gay awakenings for her audiobook performance of Ruby Holler, but that's a separate story. One of Sondheim's most beloved interpreters, Donna has such an expansive repertoire that limiting myself proved damn near impossible. Her Tonys for Best Actress in a Musical were in 1994 (Passion) and 1996 (The King and I) and I will forgive her for the later despite my documented hatred of that musical.

Other sumptuous performances include: The Mystery of Edwin Drood (Ensemble, later Drood), Wonderful Town (Ruth), Hello Dolly! (Bette Midler's Tuesday night alternative and superior performer in every way), and Encores! Dear World (my #1 theatre experience of 2023). With the later two, Donna is well on her way to achieving the Jerry Herman trifecta. Someone mount a production of Mame starring Donna Murphy as Mame.

#1: "Could I Leave You?" Follies - The Stephen Sondheim 80th Birthday Concert (2010)

Many a Diva has taken on this song, but no one can come close to the rapturous performance Donna Murphy gives during the iconic Ladies in Red segment of the Sondheim 80th birthday concert. This video right here is the reason I am the Sondheim woman that I am. There have been many women who have played Phyllis over the years, and I've fallen a little in love with all of them (Jan Maxwell, my beloved), but Donna is everything.

Surrounded by five other iconic Divas dressed in red, Donna shows that her acting choices whilst singing remain unmatched. The controlled start, the rapid devolution, the rage in that final word. And the strands of hair that will not stay out of her face. I am obsessed. The reactions of the other women (note Patti LuPone's glee and Marin Mazzie, dear friend and Passion co-star's bursting pride) say it all. The entire concert is one marvel after another. Do yourself a favor and watch it.

I consider this song one of Sondheim's greatest works (Send in the Clowns, eat your heart out...but also...Donna did that at the 90th birthday concert, so there's that too).

#2: "Hit Me With a Hot Note," a benefit for Fran Liebergall (2015) and What About Joan (2001)

I couldn't decide which version to post, so you get both. Congratulations. This song showcases Mrs. Astor's wild side as Donna delves into growls, shimmies, shakes, and belts. "Hit Me with a Hot Note" is a Duke Ellington song that appeared on Broadway in Jelly's Last Jam (which will receive an Encores! production this spring). I never thought a white woman could scat, but I'm not mad about it.

The first video is a concert benefit for Fran Liebergall in 2015. The second is from a short-lived tv series in the early 2000s where Donna plays Ruby Stern, a smart and staid doctor who has a dream of appearing on Broadway. Apparently, the producers of the show were totally unaware that two-time Tony winner for Leading Actress in a Musical Donna Murphy could sing. I'm just as shocked by that as you are.

#3: "Surabaya Johnny," LoveMusik (2007)

Mrs. Astor is one of many real-life historical figures on Donna Murphy's acting resume. Another real-life figure is that of Lotte Lenya, an Austrian-American actress and singer best known for her work/marriage with Kurt Weill. LoveMusik explores that relationship. Lotte Lenya had a distinctive voice, and here Donna transforms her own signature voice to match Lenya's.

LoveMusik received mixed reviews, but garnered four Tony nominations for Best Musical, and Best Leading Actors for Donna and for leading man Michael Cerveris, The Gilded Age's Mr. Watson.

Donna has truly perfected the way to break down during a song.

#4: "The Story of Lucy and Jessie," Follies (2007)

Prior to the Sondheim 80th, Donna played Phyllis Rogers Stone in the 2007 Encores! production of Follies (alongside Christine Baranski). This was considered her triumphant return to the New York stage following an unsteady attendance record in the early 2000s owing to a long battle with vocal hemorrhaging (running concurrently with multiple miscarriages). Her turn as the jaded former Follies girl was nothing short of sublime. In those days, Encores! concerts weren't remotely the fully choreographed shows they are now. Donna, who describes herself as a "singer who moves well," proves that in spades.

To my everlasting devastation, this clip omits the opening verse, but I think her legs more than make up for it. The little glove removal moment is a nod to an alternate number that has been used in place of this one depending on the production. For singers who are not as dance-capable, "Ah, But Underneath" offers up a sensational strip tease, and I, for one, would have liked to see that too, even if Lucy and Jessie is a better number.

#5: "Loving You," Passion (1994)

Though her riveting portrayal of a chronical ill woman who seduces a soldier in mid-19th century Italy earned Donna her first Tony, it was not a well-received show. Audiences disgusted by the obsessive and unattractive Fosca would cheer when she collapsed onstage every night. They couldn't fathom how Giorgio (Jere Shea) would leave his affair with the beautiful Clara (Marin Mazzie, who appears totally nude for the opening number) for a sicky woman like Fosca. Since then, like most Sondheim shows, we have come to appreciate the brilliance of the story, the score, and the actors with time.

Donna's immersion into this role is the stuff of Broadway legend. This song in particular, though simple in melody and lyrics, carries such deep emotion, and the way she sings as if every note pains her just ruins me. Her dramatic range cannot be praised enough. The entire proshot can be found HERE, and I cannot recommend it enough.

Story time: a few years ago I bid on the original lobby board that hung inside the theater, and I am now a proud owner of a piece of history. It stands in my living room and is nearly as tall as I am. It is my most treasured possession.

Bonus: For a more comprehensive of all things Donna Murphy, please enjoy this playlist curated by @princesspufferr. And if anyone wants a bootleg of Dear World, I've got you covered.

LINK TO MASTERPOST