#OH GOD SHE TURNED IT BACK ON

[dnd-shithouse]

I’m gonna say something so evil and controversial!!

If I knew Glenn in real life, I would despise him.

Not because he lets his son smoke pot, or because he is an absent dad or even because he likes Disney world.

I’d hate him because he plays Christmas Rock music.

[mewtwo24]

I just started reading the svsss volumes (and re-read them again because A LOT IS GOING ON) but like. This shit is so hysterically funny I don't even know where to begin.

Was no one????? Going to tell me that one of the cornerstone jokes in the damn series is that lbh's adoration for his one and only 'tism person who literally cannot express his emotions to save his life is basically genetic?????????

Was no one???? No one AT ALL going to tell me that Mobei-Jun straight up yeets Airplane at the problem in one of the scenes?????? And that in the most hilarious twist of fate Airplane then unyeets Mobei-Jun not twenty minutes later?????

It's one thing to see people joke about sqq and lbh being unable to communicate but it's on a league of its own when you have to read HUNDREDS OF PAGES of sqq's inner monologue be like 'that's my darling boy. my baby. my sugar plum pumpy umpkin you're my sweetie pie' but on the outside he says "get lost binghe" and somehow deems that an effective expression of his affection that lbh will surely understand. 'Why is lbh whining and crying and tugging at my sleeve like a plaintive wife, why is he so angry?' Sqq asks, the entire circus, as lbh is about to fling himself off a cliff for attention--

In short, MXTX is the queer comedian of our generation and nobody appreciates her enough

[keepin-it-on-the-d-l]

You know what, no! I don’t want Terry jr and Terry to bond actually. I want Terry to try to hug Terry Jr and for Terry Jr. to be like “this is not my daughter what happened give her back. This is NOT my Scary.” I want him to love the version of Scary she chooses to be, not the one that gives him the most affection.

[macklesufficient]

today i’m thinking about how happy i am to no longer be twelve. remember how u were constantly living the most humiliating moment of your life? why was that?

[annymaght]

Calmness after chaos

[quietwingsinthesky]

of ten’s companions, if the doctor couldn’t handle losing them and crossed his own timeline to trick them into traveling with future!him instead of past!him so that he’d have a little more time with them:

rose would do it. first because bless her but she has the situational awareness of a rock, and legitimately would not realize this isn’t her doctor until his facade starts to break down and he starts bleeding grief-laced love for her at every turn. but once she does realize it, she’s both deeply sympathetic and a little scared that she could make him into this. it’s a lot to be confronted with having that much power over someone, to break them so thoroughly. rose would try to get back to her doctor, but while she’s with the future version, she tries to do what she can to ease his pain. (she also tries to figure out a way to subvert her fate. she fails.)

i think martha would be harder to trick. she can smell desperation on the doctor like a bloodhound. she is so tapped into the fact that this man wants to off himself so bad and that she’s 90% of his self-restraint, so present her with a doctor who is lacking that and she’s onto him immediately. however, assuming he gets her to come with him, explains why he’s doing this, there’s like. a minute where she’s kind of. not flattered exactly, but surprised, giddy with the realization that he’d come back for a little more time with her, especially if this is early season 3 martha. which would all come crashing down around the time that he reveals that he wasn’t pushed to this by losing her to some tragedy or her death or anything- but that she chose to leave. that is the point at which martha goes ‘oh i need to get the fuck off of this tardis right now’ and ghosts the past!doctor that she was also traveling with because holy shit, man.

donna, like rose, is easily bamboozled into following the wrong doctor home, provided that he shuffles her along into his tardis too fast for her to argue. but she catches on far quicker than rose does. like, three minutes tops of watching the doctor move through the tardis in a way that’s definitely not enthusiastic piloting and looks more like guilty panic. and then she yells at him for lying to her. and she yells at him for kidnapping her. and then she stops yelling because he’s gone sort of still and quiet and his eyes are just broken. and he doesn’t explain himself, he confesses. donna is going to try to stay with him after this btw. because how do you go back to looking your best friend in the eyes when you know he’d take everything you’ve become away from you, even to save your life? and this is still the doctor, he still did that to her, but he regrets it. regrets it so much that he can’t live with it, he’s breaking time and space just to hear her say his name again. and donna doesn’t want to lose him anymore than he wanted to lose her.

[haunted-xander]

Childe would unironically make a really good Warrior of Light

Like, okay, not only does he get to fight a bunch of ever increasingly powerful enemies (such as several angry deities, an extra powerful combo machine of said deities, dragons almost as old as the star itself, SEVERAL ACTUAL GODS and then some!) but he also gets to team up with a group of (mainly) strong warriors that you KNOW he'd be just dying to spar with (also you can't tell me he wouldn't take one look at the twins and go 'my siblings now').

He's also very loyal, so once he's in with the Scions he is IN ya know? Like he would kill and die for them no questions asked. They're also not really bound by law so he can do whatever he wants and what is the law gonna do? Arrest him? THE Warrior of Light? Don't think so.

(Also if he ever met Zenos all hell would break loose. The entire region is decimated and it's a miracle there even is a region left to begin with. They'd be the best worst rivals in existance and it would be everyones problem)

[arggghhhsstuff]

heyy i would like more of how thalia's time as a tree affected her. was she asleep? was she conscious at all? did she feel trapped, or at peace? could she tell when someone was approaching? did it change her?? chat did it change her. does she miss it??? she is not the same girl she once was, that is much clear. but why, exactly. what changed. i have so many questions

[stressedanime]

just received +25 psychic damage by relating song lyrics to the treatment of demigods in pjo

[hauntingblue]

Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me

[presiding]

formerly an essay in tags but - billie lurk. half-nameless, misremembered woman. her powers derived from the things taken from her, without any catharsis or empowerment. the rat charm, tied with deidre's hair, her lover's voice in the mouth of rats. her arm and eye, taken, given back only to cause her chronic pain, then lost again. foresight seems a cruel gift for a woman who botched the timing of her takeover of the whalers, and bet wrong when it came to delilah.

she never bore the outsider's blessing; his first visit to her was more like an assault. every other dishonored POV character gets the choice to be selfish, and for that selfishness to mean something, but billie's actions have no effect on the world at large, either, in a game without a chaos system.

some say that corvo is the ghost, but he can reach out and change things. billie's buried herself twice and come back and nothing she does seems to matter - she is less a protagonist, more a convenient full stop in the narrative.

try this: open doto, start a new game. sit in her cabin. notice how little of billie there is. even the woman she loved more than anyone has the face of another named character.

she sits amongst the assets of other games: empty canvases and a dressmaker's mannequin that wears nothing.

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier

[peculiaritybending]

It’s actually pissing me off how much I really really want to like the heathers musical but just…don’t.

[nerdie-faerie]

Just when I think the day's going well, I crash a golf cart

[softquietsteadylove]

could we possibly get a little angsty mermaid au action? missing that one! thank you for continuing to share your masterpieces with us!

I almost didn't recognise you, it's been so long.

Thena blinked, the only time needed for her friend to go from being a speck in the distance to right in front of her. She sighed, bubbles rising from her mouth. Sorry.

What's wrong? Makkari asked, despite her feelings about Thena spending more time on land than in the water, these days. She swam around her friend, resting on a sandbank like a beached whale. It must be bad for you to leave your precious human.

Thena snarled her lips, letting her fangs poke out. She turned over in the sand, her tail dusting it up around them. "Leave it alone."

Makkari swam around to her other side, though, real concern on her face now. Hey, it was a joke. Is there something I should know?

Thena's lip wobbled. If she were on land, her eyes would be pouring salt. They had done so a few times, like when she was sick, or when she watched a heartbreaking movie with Gil that felt very much like how they had come to fall in love.

But underwater, the vacuum of it swallowed her sorrows. Her gills expanded and contracted with her heavy heart. "We are quarrelling."

You and the land walker? Makkari tilted her head a few times, the gold charms she liked on the ends of her hair floating with the motion. What did he do?

Thena swiped at her eyes, another human habit she had picked up. She sighed again, adjusting herself on her sand bed. He didn't do anything. I...I learned something.

Makkari - against any mer's instincts and natural inclination - also settled herself on the sand. She rested her chin on her arms folded in front of her, the red sparkle of her scales reflecting on the beautiful tone of her skin. She raised her brows.

Thena smiled at her friend. There was nothing about the ocean she missed quite so much as Makkari. We were out walking in town. A woman approached Gil, and he knew who she was. They spoke for some time, and he introduced me. She seemed nice.

Makkari nodded along with her very factual recounting of the story. She was used to it with her, after all. She would ask her questions as they came.

I asked Gil who she was when we got back to the boat. Thena blinked, laying her head on the sand again like a pathetic guppy lost in a strange reef. She was his mate.

Makkari shot up again, her tail swishing and her hands poised as if she had the human man's throat there for the strangling. His what?!

Thena nodded, feeling the rush of foolishness and resentment and anger and envy all over again. Humans don't mate for life. Apparently, it is not uncommon for them to have numerous partners.

It wasn't that it was impossible for mers to have multiple mates. Sometimes things didn't work out, that wasn't so incomprehensible. But it wasn't something taken lightly, to become bound mates at all. Certainly it wasn't common to encounter someone's past mate and strike up pleasantries.

She nuzzled the sand, pressing her temple to it in a poor substitute for the soft but firm feeling of Gil's chest under her. He said it was a long time ago. That they had been young and parted amicably. That they were 'still friends'.

Makkari watched the way she punctuated his verbatim statement. She lifted her lips around her fangs. That sounds like a clown who wants more than one anemone.

She agreed. It was hard to communicate that to him, though, when all she had felt was rage. Anger with him for smiling at his past mate wit her right there, on his arm no less! How dare he greet this woman so normally as if they hadn't been entangled from the inside out?!

She knew it was normal for them. She knew Gil didn't mean to hurt her and she knew that she shouldn't have thrown herself right over the side of the boat to avoid him. But just the sight of him made her want to shatter coral right off his thick skull.

Humans actually had very thin skulls compared to theirs, Sersi said.

What else did he say?

Thena shook her head. The sun moved above them, or a cloud did, and she lost her comforting warm spot. She let herself drift off the sand and listlessly ride the currents around them.

Hey, Makkari nudged her arm as she began swimming next to her. I never thought I'd see the day you were limping around because of some bull.

Nor did she, in all honesty. But she had never felt quite like this, either. She let herself drift down and down until some shelves of coral made themselves known. Her tail flopped limply after her; the tail Gil said was so beautiful.

Makkari swam to face her again. Now I'm really worried.

"Sorry," Thena squeaked out. She couldn't help it. She wanted to be in a bed and to tug the covers up over her head. She wanted to run a hot bath and fold herself up in it, letting just her tail hang out in the open air.

Okay, Makkari also sighed, moving to lean against the edge of her coral refuge. I may not be the biggest admirer of your...human. But I know how much you care about him. Are you going to go back to him?

Of course--of course she would. She just came to get out her feelings. The question of going back or not was not even an option. But maybe that was part of the problem. Thena looked at her oldest and dearest friend in all the seas. Kari, I can't leave him. We're...

Makkari's eyes widened. Perhaps she'd had some inkling of things, but this was a damning admission nonetheless. She waved her fingers. You, and him, you're...you mated with him?!

Thena pursed her lips, tempted to roll over again as if she were in bed at home. "You don't have to make that face."

How is that...how? Makkari concluded, rather mildly all things considered.

How humans do it, Thena sufficed to say. She didn't have to go over the gruesome details.

To her credit, Makkari restrained herself from further reaction. She crossed her arms again. Do you feel different?

She did, but she also didn't. She had never taken a mate of her own kind, but she had never even desired to. With Gil...it had happened so naturally, come of natural events. Perhaps she had experienced new mate-hood, in which she had become so infatuated that she had nary desired to leave Gil's side.

But then she thought of the human woman again, of her hanging on Gil's arm, and kissing him and eating his food. And it made her stomach clench like when she had fallen ill with a human 'bug'.

Thena blinked as she felt the touch of a hand on her arm. Makkari gave her a sympathetic look. Mers were not the type to exchange physical gestures meaninglessly, and they in particular were not partial to it. But she smiled, "thanks."

Makkari patted her arm before fiddling with the gold on her fingers (also stolen little trinkets). Well, you'll go back, you said. When?

She was asking if Thena would stay in the water for some time. But she hadn't considered it. For all she had done to storm off and leave poor Gil all alone in the small motorboat, she hadn't considered staying past the height of the moon. For how miserable she was feeling, she still wanted to return to his arms to sleep.

How foolish mating with a partner made someone.

I don't know, Thena answered more properly. She at least lifted herself from the coral. I wanted time to think clearly.

Makkari shrugged. Bulls--what can be done about them?

Thena offered a somewhat sardonic but genuine smile. She was inclined to agree, but she still wished to return to her bull in question. I promise I will return soon, and in better spirits.

Makkari followed her as she began swimming upward again. As soon as she had tossed herself from the boat, she had swam straight down, desiring nothing more than getting Gil out of her sight. Does Ikaris know?

Thena rolled her eyes. No, and he never can. I had to worry about him drowning Gil before they had even met. This will not help.

Fine, but I can't say I'm completely against it, Makkari offered neither her complete support nor condemnation. But it was support either way, and Thena appreciated it.

Thena eyed the bait that was hanging in the water. They weren't deep enough for mers yet, but it was deep enough that most wouldn't be fishing with a regular manual rod in such an odd spot.

Makkari beat her to it, of course, swimming right up to it. There's something tied around it.

Thena floated next to it, undoing the strip of cloth tied around the line. The ink was already being eaten at by the salt, but the sloth was scrawled with a very sad SORRY on it in horrific lettering. "Oh, Gil."

Has he just been sitting here? Makkari asked, looking up at the bottom of the boat.

That was exactly what he had been doing. Because that was Gil; he wouldn't have gone home without her. Even if she had, she would have discovered he wasn't back and come to find him. So he had stayed put, cast the line with a message for her to come back to him, unable to come after her properly.

Okay, fine, he's not bad for a human, Makkari conceded with minimal eye rolling. She gave Thena's fin a friendly smack with her own on her way past. Come back another time you don't want to just cry about your boyfriend and his legs?

Thena waved to her friend's swiftly retreating image before Makkari truly put her power into her tail and shot off with blinding speed. She did owe her more visits, and it was nice to truly swim completely uninhibited for a time.

She poked her head up slowly, the water lapping around her. It was dusk, and soon would be completely dark. She rose until she could peek over the side of the boat.

Gil was tearing another strip of fabric off his emergency canvas, writing the word over and over and over to get the ink to penetrate the cloth properly.

Oh, her sweet, sweet human man. Thena sighed, once again feeling the air in her lungs, even with her gills in her neck. She brought her hands up to the boat's edge, "Gil?"

"Th-Thena!" he startled, but his head whipped up to her. He had been crying. "Angelfish!"

The boat tipped dangerously as he rushed over to her. As much as she could get them back home, she wasn't strong enough to tip over a boat by herself. "Gil!"

He stopped his rush to hug her, or lift her out of the water and back onboard with him. His shoulders sagged, "oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I should have explained more--a-about my ex. I didn't mean for you to find out that way."

She still didn't enjoy the concept of Gil and his ex-mate, doing mating things. But she pulled herself up and into the boat for herself, settling on the bench, still with her tail on. "I know you were put in a difficult position, Gil. I...I shouldn't have swam off."

He plunked himself back down to the other seat by the motor. "No, I don't blame you for being mad. I probably wouldn't want to find out about any ex of yours by running into him on a date."

Yes, exactly! She had her vindication, which did soothe the stubborn part of her. But she split her tail into legs again, leaning forward. "Gil."

He let her lift his chin, happy to accept her kiss. He slipped his fingers into her hair. "I'm sorry, Angelfish. I didn't want you to get hurt like that."

It had hurt, in an odd way. Humans had such interesting concepts of pain--so internal and self reflective. But Thena smiled, running her thumb over his cheek, "I know."

He accepted her acceptance. He wasn't forgiven, but he wasn't asking for that. He reached behind him, putting his jacket over her, "let's get home, okay?"

Thena nodded, pulling the jacket up and zipping it. It was cold in the air, even as the salt beaded off her skin. "I'm sorry, I don't know where the dress ended up."

"It's okay, Cuddlefish, we can get you another one," he smiled, eager to maintain their lifted spirits. He held his arm out, inviting her to sit next to him for the boat ride home.

She obliged him, settling herself in the crook of his arm. She pressed her temple to his chest, finally soothed after the sand failed where he was succeeding. "I want that seafood stew you make for dinner."

What he called 'Jjampong' was one of her favourites, not only for the seafood, but for the pleasant spiciness it possessed.

He kissed her hair, speeding ahead and back to their home, on the island, with Titania waiting for them at the dock. "Anything you want, Thena."

She wanted him to swear to be her one and only mate from now on. But dinner would suffice for now.

[aromanticasterisms]

this whole epilogue is just a little treat for me oh my god. "familiar faces arrive in simulanka" does not even begin to cover it