#but the reality is that i feel very meh about it as a holiday

[dnd-shithouse]

I’m gonna say something so evil and controversial!!

If I knew Glenn in real life, I would despise him.

Not because he lets his son smoke pot, or because he is an absent dad or even because he likes Disney world.

I’d hate him because he plays Christmas Rock music.

[howl-fantasies]

Hey! It’s me again, after a while; I was wondering )if your requests were open) if I could request a oneshot about (Gotham) Edward Nygma alongside any other Gotham charecter, who have a very pristine and classy significant other who they work alongside, and one day said S/O is sat in their apartment (or place of residence) with their hair in rollers, with a face mask on, eating some sort of fast food watching, some reality TV show like ‘Say yes to the dress’ and is acting very different to their usual somewhat glamorous self.

I thought of this a while ago as I have recently been able to relax as my uni work load has been put on hold for the summer holidays! Woo Hoo! Anyway, I appreciate your work and Ishiguro do not wish to complete this request that is absolutely fine.

- Elsie x

Hello there dearie!

Oh my lord, I absolutely love the concept! Gotham's men NEED to learn nobody never wake up with a full makeup on and don't turn on themselves like the Sims when they jump out of bed to look perfect. I had so much fun imagining our guys having a mental breakdown seeing their S/O "off" mode.

So, here it is :

GOTHAM VILLAIN WALKING ON THEIR S/O WHEN THEY ARE ON THEIR "OFF" MODE

EDWARD NYGMA / THE RIDDLER

Edward was having a "meh" day. One of those during which nothing seems to surprise / interest him. It happens, you know, him being a genius and all, he sometimes finds himself being bored. But you, his stunning, witty, classy partner would know how to make his day better, he knows it.

Unsuspecting, he used the spare key you gave him a month ago and walked inside of your apartment, ready to see his day brightened by the simple view of your impeccable self. How lucky of a man he was.

"Dear?" He would call when you weren't here to greet him like you usually did. He sent you a text before coming, he was certain.

He heard the noise of your TV, pretty loud, so it was why you didn't answer. Was it also why you didn't read his text? Strange, he pictured you more like the kind of person to be lost in a book or something. But that was ok, he also had his times when he needed to put the thing on, to hear the news about him, for instance. Though, the high pitched female voices started to make him doubt you were watching Gotham News.

Nevermind, he followed the voices to your living room and brutally stopped when he saw the back of your head. What was the bright pink fluffy thing in your hair?! He had to open his mouth when he hear you. "Are you kidding me, look at you Meredith?! You look like a freaking pièce montée with that!" Did you hurt your mouth or something, you sounded like something was stuck inside of it (not something under 18 here, everybody keep calm please!)

"My love?" He asked.

"Oh fuckity Shitty Fuck!" You screamed, making one hell of a jump. Now on your feet, you were facing him, absolutely horrified.

You decided you needed to let your "on" mode cool down a bit today and since no robbery nor abduction were on your calendar, you wanted a little "off" time mode only for you.

Off time, meaning here: putting a bluish moisturising mask on your face, putting your favorite pink rabbit ears headband, your fluffy pajamas and slippers. You ordered a pizza earlier with soda and finally decided to watch your favorite trashy tv show. And here you were. Gawking like an idiot in front of your boyfriend, who looked like he was considering calling a priest to exorcise you or something.

"Ok, Ed. Please don't panic." You said, making an appeasing gesture with your hands.

"Don't panic?! Don't p-... Dear, what happened?! Did you encountered Jerome and he forced you in a weird disguise? Or am I hallucinating?!" He squeaked suddenly reaching for his wrist to check his own pulse.

Ok, he was totally panicking... "Ed..." You called again with a sigh, feeling your hand brush against your dry mask on your forehead. "Dear, it's not an attack or a prank or anything. I'm just taking a little time for myself, like... pampering, see what i'm talking about?."

Hearing your resigned voice and the little bit of annoyance in it, he stopped his frantic health check. Ok Eddie, time to think like a grown man.

Please make some space for Mister Riddler in his inner mental theater. Y/N is a human being, pretty much like him. A beautiful human being with a sumptuous as-... *Sorry Ed had to mentally punch him to keep him on track.* Ahem, like he was thinking before being brutally interrupted, Y/N is a human. Like him they have morning hair, don't always wear makeup nor impeccable clothes, and they must have to work hard to keep their skin so smooth and beautiful and...

"Ed?!" Now you are the one looking for his pulse. When you caught his gaze, you find this little light, you know, the one meaning someone FINALLY had put two and two together DUH.

"Y/N, I got it." He said, putting his hands on your shoulders and taking a long inspiration. "Of course i did. I'm a genius. Pampering, taking a self-care day, feel comfy and all..." But he suddenly turned you around to face the TV, "I got everything, except this! I mean, what the hell is this?!" He had to point the tv with his index for good measure.

He never watched "say yes to the dress." Of course he hasn't. Poor dude was too busy cracking puzzles and riddles. He's pretty confused here. You will have to explain how in hell this trashy thing is helping you feel relaxed.

Or don't, after all, it could be a pretty good opportunity to explain your lover you both have your hobbies and have to respect it ;).

Would totally be ok with you taking care of his skin and his nails. And the man would be super proud of it let me tell you. If someone messed with his fresh manucure, he would immediately turn to you / call you and apologize. "I'm afraid, we'll have to plan another self-care session my dear. Sooner than expected". (Relationship goal here!)

--

OSWALD COBBLEPOT / THE PENGUIN

Oswald being Oswald, he would HAVE to walk on you on one of his worst days.

His mood was terrible and he seriously was in need of a good hug, a good vent and probably his mother “special bad days” tea. 

Since you moved in with him a few weeks ago, his first words to poor Olga when he went through the main doors were “WHERE IS Y/N?!” of course he had to yell even if the woman was not even a meter from him, taking his coat, hat and umbrella with a calm we all have to acknowledge. The maid will simply point in direction of the living room, keeping her smirk well hidden. Poor boy is up for a good and well deserved shock in here. 

Oswald would limp in a rush to you, grumbling like an old man all along, and couldn’t wait to have you listen about his terrible day and the bunch of idiots he had to deal with. 

“What the hell happened?!” He heard you scream in outrage when he was a few steps away from your position. He felt a smile growing on his face. Of course you would be concerned about his distress, you were like this with him, a worrywart, but his worrywart and he was the same with you. 

“Thank you! Someone at least is able to read the mood in a room”, he had to say, glaring at Olga who, again, shrugged and get away to dust the stairs. She wasn’t going to miss the show. No way. 

“No seriously, what happened to you poor thing, what did they do to you?”, Y/N cooed from the couch. 

Finally, Cobblepot emerged from the hallway, his mouth ready to answer them when all the air he took to do so was sucked out of him. “M-My dear?” He called. 

Y/N tensed on the sofa. Oh dear hell. Oh no. 

No excuse was good enough to explain your current state: slumped on the couch, a tiger face mask, bright yellow and blue unicorns air clips and the worse? Fluffy pajamas with a penguin and a polar bear walking hand in hand on the snow, with the sentence “Take it slow in the snow” sewn under them. No. Nope. Nu-uh. You were doomed. 

 Y/N smiled awkwardly and made a stupid little wave with their hand. “Oswald...Dear...Well...Hello?” 

His deafening silence was maybe worse than his higher screeches. When he finally opened his mouth, they were covered by the sound of the tv. “Oh my god, yes! Yes it’s the one!” 

His eyes followed the female voice and took a long look at the screen. “Is it “say yes to the dress?” He suddenly asked. 

You were dumbfounded a second, frowning your brows but finally answered a low “yes?” 

He would stay silent and resume his walking until letting himself fall ungracefully next to you and start to watch. 

“Oswald? Are you ok?” 

He nodded once, his eyes still on the screen. “Mother used to watch it with me and we would talk about my day.” 

Oh. Oh! Ok, Y/N can definitely make it their ritual. “Want to do it dear? I have another face mask and was about to ask Olga for another tea. How does it sound? 

Sounds perfect. Cobblepot will 100% adopt this ritual and talk about his terrible day while you apply some cucumber on his tired eyes. He knows how to do perfect manucure (mommy boy, remember?) and would help his S/O with their nails, hair, skin... everything. 

Their self care is as important as taking Gotham’s throne. Anybody interrupting them would be dead. And “Say yes to the dress” will stay, giving the two the perfect opportunity to bond even more about fashion. Oswald is also a very talented tailor after all, so he knows what he’s talking about. Enjoy!  

-- 

VICTOR ZSASZ

Since when didn’t he stalk you? A day or two? He was letting his guard down. What if you suddenly decided to run away, change city, were shot by a lunatic... and here it goes, his brain started to panic. He was pretty busy lately, thanks to Jim, Harvey, and every idiotic cop in the city suddenly realizing their job was in fact to arrest criminals, not taking their money and looking the other way. Aah...Good old days...

Anyway, nothing now was about to stop him to go to his S/O. Even if you gave him a key, (please don’t) he would prefer to pick the locks of your door, you know...for the thrill and everything. And, I mean, I you’re lucky enough to have survived Zsasz, it probably means you have some strong sense of self preservation and weren’t foolish enough to give the sadist your keys. 

When your door finally opened, he went inside of your flat like a shadow, grinning like a madman about the idea of giving you the scare of your dear life. God knows he loved to make you jump and see the rush of adrenaline in your body. 

Your TV was on, he could tell, the sound of a few people resonating inside of your flat like they were with you in your living room. 

Another sound made him stop for a second: someone drinking the end of a soda or a milkshake. Super loud at that. Who would have known the perfect little Y/N, always sipping their beverage like a posh aristocrat was enjoying a cheap one like any commoner on earth. How funny. 

You wouldn’t even realize he was next to the couch. Not until you heard him giggle stupidly making you scream bloody murder and throwing your now empty milkshake at his head. 

Being the troll he is, Victor would dodge it without even giving you a glance and lazily point at the screen saying something stupid like: “the previous one looked better uh?” 

Don’t strangle him on spot. Or do it, not sure here what he may enjoy the most... 

When your heart would finally stops its marathon, you would be able to take a better look at the picture: him, standing next to the couch arm, his left forearm on the top of the furniture, his right hand on his hip and his legs crossed, taking a good look at you, his S/O.

Currently rolled like a burrito in a fluffy purple plaid with only your head, hands and socks visibles. Are these little pizzas on your socks and headband by the way? And are you really wearing a panda face mask? 

You were ready to punch these questions back deep inside of his throat as soon as he will ask them and make him gulp his stupid smirk. Though, you weren’t ready for his gaze to shift from your eyes and face to your table and the “is it pepperoni?” He stupidly asked, pointing at the pizza your were eating earlier like an hungry wolf. You hoped he didn't see it...

Breathe, in and out. It’s the key.

"You really are full of surprises, love." He teased, too happy to see your obvious discomfort.

Option A) giving him the middle finger. Proceed with caution though, he's really good at shooting fingers.

Option B) Scream ugly profanities at his dumb face. Good to vent, but he wouldn't give a f. Just enjoy it more and more.

Option C) slouch back on the couch and throw him the pizza's menu. "you pay for the next and the milkshakes." And wait for his lazy ass to seat next to you, because he will. Oh. And if you feel confident enough, don't hesitate to slap a ridiculous face mask on his already ridiculous face. Yes he doesn't give a shit about looking like an idiot but you wouldn't be the only idiot in the room anymore. 👍

--

A/N - I hope you liked it, have a beautiful day dearie 🥰💐

[the-orion-scribe]

In Defence of Escape from Reality

Reddit version

Not long ago, there was a discussion thread on the r/GravityFalls subreddit on which is the “worst episode” of Gravity Falls. Now, to put my two cents on this question, personally, I have no strong hatred for any of the episodes, including Roadside Attraction – the fandom’s most riled episode like how Fly is very lowly-regarded in Breaking Bad. For me, Roadside Attraction lowers the stakes and brings us outside of Gravity Falls for a while before what is to come. My favourite part of that episode is Dipper trying to be more confident of himself, even if I agree perhaps the flirting subplot is rather unnecessary. Still, it's a nice break from all the rather momentous episodes, and improves the relationship between Stan and Dipper.

I would actually argue that the preceding episode The Last Mabelcorn is actually the episode that’s out of place, given it was intended to be a space for a low-stakes Wendy-centric story the writers never managed to crack. But that would be another discussion for another time.

I’m deeply amused, nevertheless, when Escape from Reality is mentioned as the worst. Now, before my rewatch, I only had a ‘meh’ impression of that episode. But after rewatching the episode to verify those claims, I now have a newfound appreciation for the episode. In fact, I will personally rate it above its preceding episode – Weirdmageddon 1: Xpcveaoqfoxso.

There are some ‘problems’ the critic of the episode has highlighted, notably how the episode “cuts entirely the rythm [sic] and the tension and rythm [sic] of the entire finale” and shows “the lack of character of development of Mabel Pines” who is “NEVER held accountable for anything she did during Weirdmaggedon”. To check through these claims, I decided to rewatch the Weirdmageddon arc – from Dipper and Mabel vs the Future to the finale, before forming my own conclusion. And I say, the rewatches gave me deeper insights which I think plenty of us overlooked.

Let’s start with Dipper and Mabel vs the Future. I must watch from here, otherwise, the rest of it wouldn’t make much sense given Gravity Falls is a continuity-based cartoon.

It's a fantastic penultimate episode from start to end (I call it penultimate before WMG). Goofy at the start like many of the Gravity Falls episodes, and we explore both the siblings’ arcs. One with Dipper and Ford to find the adhesive to seal the rift in the UFO, and Mabel trying to prepare for their 13th birthday party at the end of the summer.

Mabel's subplot really hits the feels. I still recall how it hits me when a holiday is ending. And while the episode starts off with optimism, Mabel soon realises the harsh realities of growing up. And she also realises her summer friends (Grenda and Candy) won't be with her to celebrate their birthday and see them off. This gradually crushes and peels off the positive ideal Mabel holds, and thus she realises that the future after the summer is not what she wishes to face.

Stan comes in, and offers encouragement that Dipper would be by her side. And that scene, likely overlooked by many, hits hard too, especially when he said “not everyone can say that”, referring to his falling out with his twin Ford (and even Stan realising he would be out of the Shack soon, even if he hasn’t said that aloud). And then when she heard Dipper's willingness to take Ford's apprenticeship, that one hope she held was gone and broke the straw on the camel’s back.

So why am I reviewing all of these? We need this context to understand what happens after. There are claims, especially from Mabel’s critics, that Mabel knew about the nature of the rift and just willingly handed it over. However, from the episode, Mabel only has a vague idea that whatever Dipper and Ford plan to do is to “save the world or whatever”. And Ford keeps the rift when Mabel comes in to check on her brother. So she's unlikely to link that to whatever Ford and Dipper were planning to do to save the world. In fact, neither told her about the rift, even in the previous episodes. Ford even stated in Journal 3 that it’s something he must keep a secret.

At the end of the episode, Mabel is in her most vulnerable emotional state – the world is falling apart around her, especially the prospect she has to face the hard future alone. And she fears that history will repeat itself, her deep-seated fear, established since A Tale of Two Stans, that she and Dipper would grow apart quickly and become hostile like the Stans. The twins have been each other’s source of strength, and they still have more time to mature and grow together. It is unimaginable for her, just at the age of 12, to be separated from her twin for a long time.

And the Bill-possessed Blendin arrives. I also note critics saying she should have known better and not trusted him given “he tried to kill her and her brother not long ago”. Let me reiterate that, since the end of Blendin’s Game, the twins and Blendin are on better terms, given the twins decide to exercise mercy on him and let him go. Anyway, even then, she does not know that it’s Bill Cipher she’s talking to, and in that extremely vulnerable emotional state, she’s in no position to think anywhere close to rationally. Blendin offers her a tantalising offer that seems to address her problems.

We need to relook this scene from Mabel’s perspective. Bill only shows her in a holograph the object Mabel has to pass over to him and dismisses its significance as “a little gizmo (that) he (Ford) won't even know it's missing." So in short, no, she doesn't know what she’s handing over and what she’s in for. Bill is exploiting her emotional weaknesses to get the rift. Swayed by Bill’s persuasion, Mabel thinks the rift is some ‘small gadget’ that will somehow grant her ‘a little more summer’, not a permanent loop without end. And she also thought he was Blendin, someone whom she thinks she could trust, and with the goggles, it’s hard to tell Blendin was being possessed.

The last we know about Mabel is that she got knocked out when it all started. So that brings me on to Escape from Reality.

But let me also do a quick review of WMG1. It’s not bad, though rather slow. It sets the stakes well, but takes some substantial time just for Dipper to figure out what he must do. But it’s indeed distressing for him, who just lost his mentor and the three journals and he is unable to figure out what he should do. A major plus for this episode, nevertheless, is Wendy being more involved and being his guide (wendip fans rejoice) and we also get to see Gideon’s transformation for the better to turn against Bill.

Escape from Reality is wonderful. In fact, this episode is an important turning point – a friend even commented this is “the emotional and thematic climax of the series”. I agree it might be a little jarring in tone, since we were “shoved” into a “sugarcoat land”. But I welcome variety, and actually if you realise, Mabeland is a juxtaposition of the dark and surrealistic nature of Bill's world with Mabel’s worldview. It’s not as clear compared to the previous episode, but you still get peeks of Bill’s touches of what seemed to be an ideal fantasy world. Mabeland’s lack of rules sounds exactly like Bill's "join me" sales pitch to Ford in the subsequent episode. As he claimed: "I'LL REMAKE A FUN WORLD, A BETTER WORLD! NO MORE RESTRICTIONS, NO MORE LAWS!"

I agree with Bill that he has created “the most diabolical trap” he's ever created. It’s a gilded cage, designed to fulfil Mabel’s wants and desires. As it is a prison, the ultimate purpose of everything in Mabeland is to prevent Mabel from leaving by keeping her trapped inside what is essentially a waking dream. Really, Mabeland was just a massive, literalized Sweater Town. Bill believes the bubble to be inescapable because he knows that he would not be able to escape it, and because these “mortal meatsacks” are so inferior, there's no way they could be capable of something he isn't.

Let me also address some pieces of criticism, that Mabel “admits she knows she is in a fake world, she sees what's going on in Gravity Falls multiple times but doesn't even react or show concern”, and instead, she throws all of Dipper's unconditional love and support for her back in his face by not just creating Dippy Fresh, but also sending him to a trial where he will get kicked out into the apocalypse if he doesn't convince her to come out by giving up the apprenticeship. She shows absolutely no remorse over anything she did and very less admits it, and acts as if she had nothing to do with it.”

First off, there's nothing in the episode that shows Mabel is fully aware of what's happening outside. Remember, I said Mabel was knocked out when it all started. She said to Dipper: “But then I woke up in a place that gives me exactly what I wanted: an endless summer where we'll never have to grow up!” And it seems, as Dipper suspected, that Mabel was entranced and hypnotised by all the magic, almost completely caught up in the delusion. She’s not at all aware of what’s happening outside, and Dipper hasn’t so far told Mabel what’s going on.

Bill exploited Mabel's deep-seated insecurities and crafted the fantasy in such a way so that Mabel would remain trapped in her fantasy forever. Indeed, the prison is pretty diabolical and insane like Bill himself, and Bill even said it would take “a will of titanium” to break out. The depiction of Mabeland really expresses the depth of Mabel's almost pathological fear and denial, showing a very underlooked side of Mabel that really paints a terrifying picture of how broken deep down she was. It's easy to brush off the surface of the world as Mabel's selfish denial for growing up and wanting to keep things as they are, but it also can be looked at someone who is wanting to be seen and fit in, in a world that is continuing to no longer care for her way of life.

I admit Mabel's biggest personality deficiencies are her lack of will and self-awareness. When Mabel woke up in the bubble, she would have still been in the same mindset she had at the end of Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future – that her brother was leaving her forever. Mabel's mental state in that episode and leading up to it really paints that picture; a child who's losing grip and control of the reality she was so accustomed to, and without anyone there willing to take the time to stop and listen and help guide her, finally snapped.

Mabeland was her last attempt to maintain the reality she was so used to, to try and let go of the impending reality of truth. An unhealthy way of dealing with it, but the product of the mental state Mabel had fallen into. What Mabel wanted more than anything in the world at that moment was for her brother to be there and comfort her, just as he always has been up to this point. So, that's what Mabeland tried to give her – Dippy Fresh, the fandom’s most hated character. But he turned out to be a twisted fun-house-mirror reflection that's more like a male version of Mabel herself than it is like the real Dipper. I’m sure that Mabel knew this was not her real brother, but it's the closest she was going to get to him during that time of deep emotional vulnerability.

There's also two top Mabel-moments here. Actually three. I think this is actually one of the greatest episodes centering on Mabel. First, Mabel, in her good nature, actually offered to share the fantasy with Dipper and the rest when they first arrived, when she’s not yet aware of the darker side of her world. Second, when Dipper is about to be banished for mentioning the real world, Mabel doesn't want to throw him out right away and is willing to listen to what her brother has to say through the trial.

Dipper: Are you really gonna let them banish me?!

Mabel: No! Of course not; that’s my brother, guys! There’s gotta be another way.

So no, sending him to a trial is not for him to be kicked out into the apocalypse, but offers Dipper a chance to plead his case.

Sure, the court is rigged. But remember this whole thing is crafted by Bill, and Mabel holds an illusion she has control over their world. Mabeland tries to throw out Dipper’s case, but Dipper then shows her there's a better way to get through it than denial, and that's with help from people who care about her. While Mabel raised two past examples of them being bullied, Dipper also shows how the two stayed together thick and thin throughout their childhood. These memories showed that they both work together to better themselves, which, again, furthers the fact that they are co-dependent. “It's how we've gotten through our whole lives.”

The courtroom scene played out extremely well, incorporating a ton of symbolism in regards to the duo's respective individual thoughts. It's touching to see Dipper reminisce about the past with Mabel only to convince her that the future may not be as grim as she perceives it – a precedent laid out by most of the Mabel-centric episodes that forward this very scene. Dipper, her own brother, has always been the only person who could ground Mabel in reality and pull her out of Mabeland, for better or worse. Mabel, on the other hand, knows how to get her brother to take himself less seriously and chill out a little bit by acting intentionally dumb and goofy. The “yin and yang” Wendy mused to Dipper back in WMG1.

Seeing Dipper's love for his sister brings her back from the abyss is really heartwarming. Their sibling bond wins over, and Mabel accepts to return to reality out of her own will. If Mabel is that selfish as what some haters claim, she would have rejected leaving no matter what Dipper tells her. Mabel isn’t a rational thinker, and Dipper must be the one to lay out his case that convinces her. Dipper is the only one who can get through her and understand and address her insecurities. I find it unrealistic and out of character to expect Mabel to just snap out of it herself. I know Mabel is flawed. But the most important thing is, she still chose to go back to the real world with Dipper.

I like to think that what in the end made Mabel wanna face reality was not Dipper saying he'd go back home with her, but hearing him say he understood her fear; admitting he too was scared of growing up. Perhaps hearing her own brother admit that was what she needed to hear; that she was not alone in her fear and that Dipper understood it too.

I'm not sure if it's an intended parallel, but the bond between twins (later Stan and Ford) is what eventually leads to Bill's demise. Like how the cementation of the twins’ bond (sincere sibling hug) eventually ended the fantasy. (In fact, tbh I’m going crazy over this part – it’s a neat development from ‘awkward sibling hug’ from the first episode).

“Aw, man, I never noticed how bright this place is, ugh! Have I actually been listening to the same song for an entire week?”

It was when the spell breaks that Mabel fully snaps out of her trance and has further clarity of what’s going on. As the whole thing unravels as a nightmare, Mabel actually helps them out by summoning giant Waddles and they break out.

And after they emerge into the real world, it is Mabel's first proper look into what's actually happening, and horror sets in.

It’s also of note that as they emerge from the bubble, Mabel says to Dipper that she wouldn’t “get into her brother’s way” if he chooses to take Ford’s apprenticeship. Nevertheless, Dipper decides to stick with his sister when he recognises the cost if he were to take it up.

Actually, Dipper was already hesitant about the offer at the start in the UFO. After that, given the adrenaline of rescuing his Grunkle and overcoming another obstacle (facing without fear), to him it seemed like a rational decision that he can step up to be Ford's assistant, albeit shortsighted. He was riding the high of rescuing Ford and didn't think about how this would hurt Mabel, Grunkle Stan and his parents. And when Mabel ran away and he joined Ford, Dipper also had second thoughts about the decision and started to think with his heart.

I don’t think it’s realistic at all that Dipper should really take up the apprenticeship since he realises the serious implications if he takes it up. The turning point for Dipper's character arc is the realisation that he needs his sister in his life, too. The fact that he attained Ford's approval and consequently the right to be his apprentice himself is undeniable, though in terms of being a human being, that's where he needs her. I personally believe that Dipper would have fully changed his mind right then and there even if things were to go as planned.

Even at this point, I don't know why anyone expects Mabel to take responsibility for causing WMG there and then. I think her being imprisoned in her own bubble is already a sufficient consequence of what she has done. Plus, neither Dipper nor Ford has not blamed Mabel at all since he thought the rift might just accidentally broke. Neither witness what Mabel has done, or even aware what Mabel actually did. As far as they knew the rift must have broken accidentally “The rift must have cracked inside her backpack.”

At this point, it's not a time to play the blame game, as their main focus is to take down Bill. I would think perhaps beyond WMG, and when the Pines discussed what happened, would only Mabel be able to piece together what has actually happened. Mabel’s recognition of what she has done would only be clear after the series.

I decided to wrap this review off with my view on WMG3 and I say… This hits really quite hard. Even for an hour-long, it goes through a roller-coaster of emotions. Excitement, anticipation, dread, sadness and also nostalgia at the end.

Despite their best efforts, the Pines' lives were again on a thread, and Stan's sacrifice really packed a punch. I was also relooking to note the swap between Stan and Ford. What's also rather emotional is Stan and Ford discussing how their siblinghood had deteriorated, and how and why their grandnephews are still able to work together. From all of these riveting experiences of the summer, they've both grown tremendously, so much so as we, the audience, to have absolute certainty that they'll not turn out like the older duo. I note Mabel still plays her role in her story, rallying and encouraging the people to stand up to Bill, and also her grappling hook skills to help the groups navigate the Fearamid.

I still support the decision for Stan to recover enough to be able to send off the kids at the end of the summer. The goodbyes at the end are really deeply emotional. The finale really wraps up the show in a tiny neat bow, ending many of the characters' arcs in the most satisfying way. Of course, it’s not exactly the end, since the twins still have a lot of growing up to do, but the story ended on a very high and promising note.

This is my entire review of the entire WMG arc from Dipper and Mabel vs the Future to the finale. It’s something that I’ve put off for a long time even though I know the episodes are fantastic. And I’m glad actually that post calls me to review this rather underrated episode.

I conclude that much criticism of Escape from Reality is rather baseless, overblown and overexaggerated and stems from the person’s own biasedness toward Mabel. Thanks to them, Escape from Reality has now become one of my favourite episodes of the show (I’m sorry, but Tourist Trapped and Weirdmageddon 3 still take the top spots). I can understand some of the animosity especially if you think the episode doesn’t fit the general tone of the arc. But when the episode is viewed as a whole now I think it plays great – and really is the culmination of Dipper and Mabel's siblinghood. The priority is settling the twins’ problems before the real shit goes down in WMG3. Also all the callbacks, big and little, are great.

If you haven’t rewatched the entire WMG arc, I suggest doing it and judging for yourselves. I understand everyone has their own preferences and opinion when it comes to characters in media, but hate or harm towards a fictional character, or anyone else, is never acceptable. It is important to remember that fictional characters are not real people and should not be the subject of hate or harassment.

Drops microphone and leaves

[coldercreation]

Happy new year! Hope you’re well<3

Happy New Year!!🥰🎉✨

New year is such a funny thing, nothing really changes in reality but for some reason it can feel like there‘s a huge invisible cliff in the calendar between December and January, and like there’s some monumental jump when the date changes.

Time has felt so wonky these past two years that I was having a hard time figuring out what even happened and when, as I tried to think back to what I actually got up to this past year. I did do stuff, for once, and somehow it was also stuff that I actually enjoyed? Yet I still felt kinda sad and melancholic and lonely about my life when I was having a Mood™️ just before midnight last night (kinda like that “looking out the bus window while it’s raining and some sad music plays in the background of the movie” thing🥲). It probably didn’t help that I spent the NYE/holidays alone once again, and could hear others having their parties with friends, family & partners.

It‘s funny how we give so much meaning to these single events and dates, and if we feel a certain meh way on that occasion, it can make us feel like all the days of the year were lacklustre. I know for sure that I had a lot of horrible days, but I also had more amazing days than I’ve had in a long time, and somehow this last year has managed to be both the worst and the best I can remember. I think I’ll really need to focus on reminding myself of that, and really work on giving more weight to those good days and the good progress. It was a bit too easy for me to think “okay so nothing‘s changed even after I tried so hard, why even bother then??” just because my NYE was so similar to all the other NYEs when I felt really alone, disconnected, and directionless. I guess what I’m trying to say with this hella weird rant is that, just because this one day of the year is branded as meaningful, and we often use it to reflect on our lives, the day itself - and how we feel on this date - doesn’t summarise our whole life/year.

I mean, this might be really obvious...😅 But I just realised that I really had to check myself last night for all these thoughts that kept dragging me low. I felt like I had achieved nothing just because I had no one to share “it“ with, during the year, but also in that space between the clock turning from 11:59 to 00:00. Why would our achievements and lives mean any less just because it’s ”just” us ourselves celebrating them? They really shouldn’t, and I guess I have the whole of next year, and beyond, to work on improving that mindset.

This might‘ve unintentionally come out a bit more on the angstier side than I planned lol, I think I’m still in that melancholic mood from last night🙈 But despite all that, I really am feeling tentatively optimistic about this new year and I’m more positive about the future than I’ve been in years.

I really hope we can all find some more little pockets of happiness here and there in the middle of the uncertainty and chaos that this world is throwing at us. It’s also important (for me and maybe for yous as well) to remember that even if we feel alone in our lives outside the interwebs, we can still have these supportive communities and connections online that can be life-savingly lovely<3

I‘m starting to doubt if I should even post this incoherent rant ahahah butttt then I remembered that one thing I think I did well in this past year was being very honest and open and raw in the way I was writing, and that ended up making so many (???😭) of you feel seen and heard and like you could relate. So I guess I’ll try to keep up with the good progress I made, and keep sharing openly even when it’s not always 100% sunshine and rainbows, and makes me worry about dragging other people down with me in my lil angsts. I mean, with finishing CYE this year, it became pretty clear that writing about difficult/“negative“ things can be an insanely positive experience too.

I hope you’re having a lovely first day of 2022, and yes, despite this messy rant in response to a simple sweet NY wishes ask (sorry😅), I think I’m actually doing pretty well. I hope you‘re all staying safe wherever you are, and maybe might even be able to remember one or two nice memories from the past year, even if it’s “just“ petting a puppy/kitty or listening to the rain or sitting in the sun or listening to a song that made you feel good.

We made it through 2021 & and we‘ll manage 2022 just the same. Go team! Love you, take care xx

[fanfic-scribbles]

Supernatural Fic Masterlist

I have sorted this masterlist by main character/reader pairings, with a small section at the very bottom for stories that do not involve a reader insert. Any series/one shot sections are further segmented, and stories under “Poly/Other” will have the pairings noted in with the rest of the story info. Everything is alphabetical (although series with more than one part are listed chronologically). A slash [/] means romance while an ampersand [&] means friendship.

I used a cut so as not to clog anyone’s page should it pop up in the tags. I write 99% reader inserts and primarily have a lot of Castiel and Gabriel, with the odd Sam, Dean, Chuck, and a handful of friendship fics. I hope you find something you enjoy <3

.

Castiel/Reader

Series

“Revelations and Resolutions (Masterlist)” (Formerly Titled “October Challenge 2017") – Romance – Castiel/Reader – Slight angst/mostly fluff

Summary: Thirty-one days is enough time to tell someone you’ve fallen in love with them, right?

Wherein you decide to use the month of October to try to tell Castiel you’re in love with him, Sam, Dean and Gabriel try to help (?) from the sidelines, and Castiel is mostly just confused.

A Reader/Cas focused project that started out as a series of semi-connected prompts and turned into a story driven by said prompts.

“Already Yours (Masterlist)” (aka October Challenge 2018) – Romance – established Castiel/Reader – Also slight angst/mostly fluff

Sequel to “Revelations and Resolutions” mentioned above.

Summary: You and Castiel don’t have a traditional relationship, but you’ve been happily together for a year now. Which begs the question– how do a human and an angel celebrate their one-year anniversary? You’re still not sure, but one thing is certain: it’s time to over-think things.

One-Shots

“Amends” – Romance – Words: 1186

Summary: Castiel made a mistake and you’re more than happy to give him the silent treatment. Until he comes up with a way to make it up to you.

“Awfully Fond of You” – Romance – Words: 2039

Summary: Oh rubber duckie, you’re the one…capable of confusing an angel to frustration. Castiel just wants to know what rubber ducks are for. Cue shenanigans until you can set the angel straight.

“Cas Café” – Romance; Fluff – Words: 2970 Follow-up to “Cat’s Cradle” below

Summary: Cas is good at running himself into the ground. Your solution to fix that is better than either of you know.

“Cat’s Cradle” – Romance (pre-relationship); Fluff – Words: 1252

Summary: A Cas fluff drabble about stopping to smell the roses. Or stopping to pet a cat. And no, that’s not a euphemism.

“Closer Still” – Romance; Fluff – Words: 606

Summary: A drabble about wanting more. And kissing.

“Conditioning” – Romance – Words: 768

Summary: It’s fairly easy to train an angel to accept a quick kiss. That he learns how to give them is an unexpected bonus.

“Enclosed” – Romance – Words: 810

Summary: Cas keeps you calm when you need it most.

“Gray” – Romance; Fluff – Words: 410

Summary: You’re bored in a graveyard on a very ‘meh’ day. Cas comes by and makes it a little better.

“Headache” – Romance – Words: 1097

Summary: You have a headache and Castiel learns to help you heal– the human way.

“How the Mighty Fall” – Romance – Words: 3139

Summary: Castiel doesn’t realize until it’s too late that he’s fallen in love and given himself to you. He finds that he does not mind this at all.

“Mistletoe” – Romance – Words: 2298

Summary: Castiel wants to get caught under the mistletoe with you. More than once. A lot more than once.

“No Longer Pining” – Romance; Fluff; Christmas fic – Words: 802

Summary: A bad encounter with a Djinn leads some truths to light.

“Secret Admirer(s)” – Romance – Words: 1902

Summary: Castiel decides to try and use Valentine’s Day to help him express how he feels for you. Dean, Sam, and Jack help. It goes…well?

“Sharing is Caring” – Romance; Fluff – Words: 1160

Summary: You and Castiel share a bed…and a little more.

“Substitution” – Romance; Fluff – Words: 1005

Summary: You thought you could stop fantasizing if reality got in the way of what you wanted. Thankfully, Castiel is both patient and opportunistic.

“Through the Bramble” – Romance – Words: 2352

Summary: You’ll do what it takes to get your angel back. Even if it means living through a fairytale.

“Waking Up” – Romance; Hurt/Comfort; Fluff – Words: 798

Summary: You’re feeling upset. Cas doesn’t want you to be alone.

“Warning Signs” – Romance(-ish) – Words: 1500

Summary: Castiel doesn’t admit to fear and neither do you. Until you meet each other.

“Watch Your Back (And I Will Too)” – Romance – Words: 1469

Summary: You and Cas watch out for each other, on more than just the battlefield.

“Win-Win” – Romance; Fluff – Words: 2639

Summary: You and Cas need to learn how to be a couple, so you decide to turn it into a game.

“Wishlist” – Romance; Fluff; Christmas fic – Words: 978

Summary: You are way in for the holiday season…maybe a bit too enthusiastically for the Winchesters’ liking. Cas comes to visit and ends up helping in more than one way.

.

Chuck/Reader

“Call Me By Name” – Romance; Fluff; Christmas fic – Words: 894

Summary: You want attention but Chuck’s busy writing. He won’t respond to his new name, so you decide to pull out some classics.

“Dust” – Romance; Comfort – Words: 409

Summary: You’re having a rough time, and Chuck is comforting.

“Ladybug” – Romance; Fluff – Words: 1050

Summary: You come home, weighed down by a long day. Chuck knows how to make you light again.

“O Christmas Tree” – Romance; Fluff; Christmas fic – Words: 2432

Summary: Christmas can be an emotional season. In the case of you and Chuck, that ends up being a good thing.

“Sincerely Yours” – Romance – Words: 6265

Summary: The apocalypse is over and you try to go home to Chuck to heal, only to find that he’s gone too. You take comfort in writing letters to your dead lover, even though he’ll never read them. Or so you think.

.

Gabriel/Reader

“13 Kisses (And One To Grow On)” – Romance; Fluff – Words: 4242

Summary: While browsing mindlessly one day, you stumble across a list of the most underrated places to be kissed. Gabriel decides to test them out. For science.

“A Healing Touch” – Romance; Fluff – Female Reader – Words: 1349

Summary: Gabriel doesn’t need a nurse and, in fact, makes an excellent one. You’re just too stubborn to appreciate it.

“A Little Pickle” – Romance; Dialogue – Words: 386

Summary: Gabriel needs to look before he leaps. He’ll be hearing about this one for a while.  

“Acrophobia” – Romance; Fluff – Words: 563

Summary: You don’t like heights and Gabriel has wings. You make it work.

“And When You Sleep, Dream of Me” – Romance; Fluff – Words: 1534

Summary: Sleeping isn’t new to Gabriel. However these nightmares are. He doesn’t like to make a habit of asking for help, though, so he decides to go on in the time-honored tradition of human coping mechanisms and just pretend it isn’t happening. However your solution may be better. For the both of you.

“Bright Side” – Friendship; Hurt/Comfort; Fluff – Words: 2423

Summary: Gabriel is feeling a bit down. You notice and try to help.

“Cursed Communication” – Romance; Humor; Fluff – Words:1622

Summary: You’re going to assassinate an archangel for his assertion over your anatomical authority.

“Decked” – Romance; Christmas Fic – Words: 842

Summary: The holidays hold complicated feelings, especially for an archangel. You soothe him however you can.

“(Don’t) Play It Again” – Romance; Fluff – Words: 2512

Summary: Everyone has that one song that they just can’t stand for whatever reason, regardless of how good, bad, or innocuous it actually is. For you, hearing that song is like getting a bucket of ice water dumped on your head.

Gabriel, of course, takes this as a challenge.

“Expressions of Affection” – Romance – Words: 1966

Summary: You have a resting bitch face and are used to it chasing people off. Gabriel deals with it in his own way.

“Home Away From Home” – Romance; Fluff – Words: 1784

Summary: You’re not sure who is stealing your clothes but you would like it to stop. Please and thank you.

“Incommunicado” – Romance – Words: 2573

Summary:  Some of the best things in life are often left unsaid, and the others just need to find the right medium of communication. Gabriel can’t find his words, you can’t find the right ones, but, somehow, you both stumble towards understanding anyways.

“Lead Me to the River” – Romance – Words: 1159

Summary: Gabriel stops by during a hunt and a ghost forces your feelings to light.

“One Lump Or Two” – Romance; Fluff – Words: 1888

Summary: You find out Gabriel is your soulmate. You have…issues with this.

“Soft” – Friendship or Romance (ambiguous); Fluff – Words: 596

Summary: Gabriel takes care of you. Just don’t tell anyone.

“Starting Over” – Romance – Words: 2509

Summary: Gabriel’s plan for revenge develops a new sense of urgency when you get caught up in it.

“Tie a Yellow Ribbon For Me” – Romance – Words: 2459

Summary: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Even death can’t keep him From finding his way back to you.

“Waking Up In Vegas” – Romance – Words: 4174

Summary: You’re off with Gabriel on what’s supposed to be a little vacation, but it takes a turn for the worst when you’re forced to face your own desires and insecurities in order to make it back to him.

“Where You’ve Been” – Romance – Words: 2611

Summary: Lucifer killed Gabriel and you find yourself going through the motions. Until the motions become that much easier to ride. You never thought you’d want to strangle your guardian angel but Gabriel is talented like that.

.

Misc Poly Romances & Other Characters

Balthazar/Reader “Imprints” – Romance; Fluff; Christmas fic – Words: 999

Summary: You and Balthazar make a pit stop on a long drive to have some fun in the snow. Well, you do. Balthazar needs some convincing. Luckily, he has you.

Dean & Reader

“In Our [Supernatural] Time” – Friendship; Humor – Words: 585

Summary: Dean is a great hunting partner to have but sometimes his timing leaves much to be desired. Luckily you’re full of great ideas on how to pass the time.

Dean/Reader

“Have Your Cake and Eat It Too” – Romance – Words: 1615

Summary: Dean and you visit a cake shop while on a hunt and pose as a couple, as usual. Only, at least one of you is tired of pretending.

“Hold Fast” – Romance – Words: 843

Summary: You thought you’d take your feelings for Dean Winchester to the grave. Well…‘almost’ counts; right?

“Something To Gain” – Romance; Christmas fic – Words: 1451

Summary: Dean and you share a drink on a cold December night and discover that playing it safe is not playing at all.

Dean/Castiel/Reader “Chill” – Romance; Fluff – Words: 975

Summary: Reader is starting to feel the burn of the hunting life. Luckily Dean and Cas are always on their side.

“Pick Me Up” – Romance(-ish) – Words: 1579

Summary: You set out to give Castiel an experience and he and Dean end up turning that back on you. Terrible, awful pick-up lines– who knew they worked so well?

(An excerpt/link to the PWP part 2 can be found here)

Dean/Gabriel/Reader “We All Fall Down” – Romance – Words: 3695

Summary: Once is an accident. Twice is a mistake. More than that is…worrisome. But you brush it off as harmless. Dean and Gabriel are excellent, occasional bed partners and nothing more. Nothing. More.

Or so you like to tell yourself.

Sam/Reader 

“Between the Lines” –  Romance; Hurt/Comfort – Words: 1254

Summary: Sam’s been down lately and you can guess why, so you try to cheer him up without directly pointing out a subject he seems loathe to talk about. Freaking Winchesters.

“Minted” –  Romance; Fluff; Christmas fic – Words: 688

Summary: Sam doesn’t get the appeal of candy canes until you explain it. ‘Explain’ being a fairly loose term, in this case. Luckily, kissing is a language of love, and you both have quite a bit to say.

Sam/Gabriel/Reader

“Whole” – Romance – Words: 1390

Summary: Gabriel’s trying to help Jack out with his powers. It doesn’t go as intended. Or so he says.

Team Free Will & Reader “Taking Care” – Friendship – Dean & Sam & Reader – Words: 2452

Summary: Dean and Sam think they know best, but so do you. No matter how dumb you all are about it, though, you’re lucky to have each other. 

“The World In Solemn Stillness Lay” – Friendship; Fluff; Christmas fic – Dean, Sam, Castiel, Jack, Gabriel, & Reader – Words: 975

Summary: You’re upset that you won’t make it to Christmas, but at least you saved your friends. Your friends, however, aren’t letting you go without a fight.

“To Want” – Friendship; Hurt/Comfort – Dean, Sam, Castiel, Gabriel, & Reader (& Chuck) – Words: 1573

Summary: The apocalypse has ended and you feel like a fifth wheel. You figure it’s time to move on.

.

Non-Reader-Inserts

“The Light. The Way.” – Romance – Gabriel/Sam Winchester – Words: 548

Summary: Sometimes, Gabriel forgets how to breathe. Sam helps, whether he knows it or not.

[g0ldengubler]

Hi! First of all i want to let you know I love your work, it feels so inclusive. I wanted to request a fluff with a bit of angst fic about reader coming out as bi to Spencer. Maybe they've been in a relationship for a while and she was a bit anxious about telling him. Thanks a lot

aaaaaaa i’m so sorry that this took so long i deepy apologize! thank u so much for the feedback and i’m glad u see it as inclusive! i don’t want to write y/n as someone really really specific look wise so thank u for seeing that💖 as a fellow bisexual, i love this idea! but here it is i hope u enjoy and i hope u enjoy the little thanksgiving vibes :)

Sweater Weather

Request: YES/no

Category: fluff

Couple: spencer x reader

Summary: you and spencer have been dating for several months now. the minute you two started dating, you made a promise to not keep secrets from each other, but that wasn’t something you kept. what better way to come out than on thanksgiving, right?

Word Count: none bc i wrote this in my notes app lol

✨masterlist✨

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

on a chilly thanksgiving night, the steam from the food on the stove fogged the kitchen windows as y/n prepared a feast for her and Spencer. it’s been several months since the two of you started dating. he was the sweetest guy you’ve ever met. you loved all his little quirks, like how much of a germaphobe he was or how excited he got when he rambled on with facts upon facts. you loved listening to the thoughts that were trapped in his brain, ready to explode out of his mouth for anyone to hear. you never told him to cool it when he was with you, because the sound of his voice soothed you.

you both had decided to stay in D.C for thanksgiving. reid’s mother was in at a clinic in houston and your parents decided to go on vacation, so everything just fit perfectly. you wouldn’t want to spend this holiday with anyone else, especially when he’s the only one you know who would watch it’s thanksgiving charlie brown with you and enjoy it.

while the excitement filled your body, your nerves were kicking in, too, and they weren’t mixing well. you were nervous because you were going to talk to him about something you kept from him; your bisexuality.

in reality, it’s not that big of a deal. but the two of you never really got into those deeper conversations. you didn’t know how he would react to that. what if he breaks up with you? what if he only accepts you just because you’re still attracted to men so in his head, he doesn’t have to accept the fact you’re also attracted to more than one gender? what if he’s like other men you’ve dated where all they hear is “threesomes”?

you knew this was just your nerves talking; you knew he was too sweet to think any of those things. but you’ve only been dating so long, so you didn’t really know each other fully yet.

as the turkey was at its end of cooking, the doorbell rang. you heard that sweet boyfriend of yours imitate a turkey with, “gobble gobble!” and couldn’t help my giggle as your ran to the door, skating across the floor with your fuzzy socks. when you opened the door, you saw your very handsome boyfriend, wearing a maroon knitted sweater with brown corduroy pants. “don’t worry,” he said, moving his pant legs up a bit to show you, “i have turkey’s on my socks.”

you smiled as you wrapped your arms around his neck before his wrap around your waist, your lips softly crashing together. you broke away after a moment and let him in as the timer went off. he sat down the bottle of wine on the counter while you took the turkey out of the oven and sat it on top of the stove.

“man, does it smell amazing in here!” he says as he wraps his arms around your waist again, leaving soft kisses on your exposed neck.

“are you talking about the food or me?” you joked.

“all up to interpretation.” he smiles as he continues to kiss your neck.

“slow down there, pretty boy,” you said, pushing away as you began to cut the turkey, “we need to eat first.”

he chuckles as he finally lets go, stealing a quick peck on your cheek before hand. spencer helps you with the rest of the turkey and setting down the last few things on the table.

when should i tell him? you ask yourself, when’s the right time to tell him? is there a right time? ok y/n, stop making a big deal of something that really isn’t and just fucking tell him already.

“hey, spence?”

“yes babe?” he answers as he pours the wine for the two of you.

“um…before we eat, can i talk to you about something?”

spencer sets the bottle down after he finished pouring into his class and looks up at you, looking a little worried. “of course! is everything ok, y/n?”

you take a sip of wine (or more of a gulp but who’s paying attention), feeling the nerves kick in. you set down your wine glass on the table, getting the courage to tell him, yet trying to find the right words was getting harder than you thought. you kept stumbling your words until finally, you just came out and said it.

“look, spence. this isn’t a big deal and i don’t want it to be that way. we promised each other that we wouldn’t keep secrets, and i’m keeping that….”

you then grabbed your phone and hit play on a song that you already had ready. sweater weather by the neighbourhood  begins to play as you put your foot on your chair, cuffing your jeans. you gave him a meh smile with teeth, but clearly spencer wasn’t getting it, even though you did show him videos from online that had the song in them.

you end up giggling at his expression, feeling more relaxed to tell him. “i’m bisexual..and i never told you because i didn’t know how you would react. i just don’t want to hide that part of me from you. but because of my sexuality doesn’t mean i’m going to be a bitch to you and look at girls when i’m with you. i want to be loyal to you, because you’re the best thing that has happened in my life, let alone this year. i’m sorry that i kept this from you and i hope this doesn’t change anything between us.”

spencer slowly walks over to the other head of the table reaching out with his hand, his palm facing the ceiling. you put yours in his, feeling his thumb caressing your hand.

“y/n,” he began, “that doesn’t change a single thing about us. i love you, babe,” wait, did he say what you thought he said? “and i have nothing no problem with that. i don’t have a problem with anyone no matter their sexuality or gender. what made me fall in love with you the first time i lay my eyes on you, was how you see the world. i wanted to get inside your head since that day, because you’re intriguing to me in the most beautiful way possible.”

you quickly cupped his face into your hands and kissed him. he took aback at first, chucking in the kiss shocked. but then he wrapped his arms around your waist again, indulging in the bliss you both fell in.

when you broke away, you looked up into his eyes smiling. “did you know that i fell in love with you that day, too?”

all spencer did was smile as he softly rubbed his thumb on the side of your cheek.

“i love you so much, spencer reid.”

“i love you too, y/n. so much.”

[crazy-loca-blog]

Personal thoughts on… 2020 releases (Part I)

Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week.

So, I did this in 2019 and I had a blast doing it (you can see Part I, Part II, Part III and the Seasonal Books reviews), so I thought about repeating the experience because… why not? Of course, I had planned to post this during the holidays but my job barely let me some free time to eat and sleep. Better later than never, I guess.

In 2019, we read over 30 books and it was the busiest year for Pixelberry in terms of releases so far. During 2020, things changed A LOT. We didn’t have as many releases and the stories seemed to have a new focus, especially the romance ones. We said “goodbye” to the wedding books and welcomed some 30 diamond scenes that were at a whole new level. We also had many hiatuses and some books were so long that it seemed like we spent the whole year reading them.

This will be a three-part post and I will include current releases and books that were released during 2019 but were finished in 2020. The list is organized in alphabetical order, and it doesn’t include the VIP Books (as I’ll talk about them in a fourth post). The only books I will be skipping will be Desire & Decorum: First Winter and Bloodbound: Dark Solstice, as they’re seasonal books that I fully covered in the 2019 review.

America's Most Eligible: Wedding Edition (September 18, 2019 - January 22, 2020):  As a person who really enjoyed the first AME book, I already thought it was unnecessary to have a second book. I mean… reality shows are repetitive, so why would we have two books that were exactly the same? Little did I know this series was so popular that we ended up having a third book with a wedding after dating our LI for like two months (because we did need another one last wedding book, right?). There were too many things that didn’t make sense to me. My MC never had a good relationship with Slater, so having him as part of my wedding party was annoying, I would have preferred to have Teagan on my side. Also, despite the fact that we finally got to know Ivy’s background and why she was so evil throughout the series, competing against her (and Vince) all over again was exhausting… I would have definitely preferred a normal wedding diary show or something like that. And last but not least, the fact that Jen was working on the show while being a competitor was so… I don’t think this is actually possible in a real TV show. But the award to the weirdest moment goes to what happened to those people who left their LI’s at the altar and married Bianca or Slater instead. Yeah, because after that super heartbreaking moment, Jen takes the MC, Adam, Derek and Mackenzie to the producer's room to watch some “never seen before” footage about their friendship throughout the series…. because of course… there is nothing weird about seeing your ex there, right after dumping them in the middle of the wedding. This series was good enough to deserve a way more decent ending. Baby Bump, Book 1 (December 9, 2019 - March 16, 2020): My overall impression about this book is “meh”. Even though a lot of people complained about how the pregnancy was shown, I think the writers did a pretty decent job. The experience is different for every woman, so I think that criticizing the focus the writers decided to give to our MC’s experience is just pointless and saying “it’s not realistic” is a little unfair. The same thing applies to the baby. A lot of people complained saying that the baby was “too big”. Guess what guys… that isn’t the actual baby, that’s just the cover of the book… if you buy the “baby basket”, you’ll get the right baby size throughout the story. As a personal opinion, I think the story has some good things (I really like the fact that it shows how hard is for pregnant women to get and to keep a job, even though the fact that the MC hid her pregnancy is very unprofessional, to say the least) but there are some things that make me feel uncomfortable. First of all… our gang. I like the characters as individuals, but when I look at them as a gang, the only thing that Luisa, Myles and Clint have in common is the MC… I don’t know what they’d talk about if they were in a room without her. There is also this very personal POV on dating Myles… I mean… maybe it’s just me, but it is kind of uncomfortable to see Myles dating a pregnant woman who actually got pregnant after a one night stand with the other guy in our gang (or with the only guy in the gang, if your Myles is a female). Baby Bump, Book 2 (November 20, 2020 - present): Well, if you collected every single piece of the blanket in Baby Bump Book 1, you already had little glimpses about this book. Our very pregnant woman not only discovered that she’s having twins, but she also has some new duties at the city hall. And even though there are some things about this book that still don’t convince me, I can see the efforts to make some improvements in the story. The fact that the plot is not only focused on the MC and her pregnancy, but also on Clint’s family issues, Myles’ reelection and the park not only are introducing us to new characters, but they’re also giving us plenty of material to make the story more dynamic and not only focused on one topic. I also like how the writers have been managing Cassandra’s arc of redemption. Despite her being the antagonist in the first book, you can tell she’s grown a lot as a character, to the point that she is willing to help our MC not because of her reputation, but because she genuinely seems to care. I don’t know if I expect a big plot twist coming in the next few chapters (and if it does, I guess it will be related to the MC’s health and the babies delivered earlier than expected) but even if it doesn’t, I can already tell this book is better than the first one. Blades Of Light And Shadow, Book 1 (January 29, 2020 - June 3, 2020): There is no doubt (at least not for me) that this was the best new release of 2020. We had been waiting for a new adventure book for a really long time, and PB delivered. Not only we had this super wide range of MCs to choose from, we had a book where our choices actually mattered. Because yes, you can buy every single diamond scene in this story and still, if you don’t make the right choices at the right moments, you won’t get all the skills at the end of it. And that’s probably what seduces me the most about this book. The characters in our gang are also very well written. Each one of them has a very different personality, they all have these very different backgrounds and burdens, but they still complement each other perfectly when it comes to work as a team. Now if I have to be completely honest about the plot, it took me a while to get into it, but I want to think it’s because I’m not very familiar with this type of stories, because it’s very clear that there aren’t any writing problems in it. However, if I have to criticize one thing, it has to be some people’s reaction: because yes, it seems like some people didn’t get the memo that this wasn’t a romance book and I must admit it disappointed me a little to see that most of the discussions were focused in the romance part instead of talking about the adventure itself. Bloodbound, Book 3 (November 9, 2019 - March 28, 2020): Last year, I already mentioned how happy I was with this book, especially because most of the times, the third book in a series is not as popular as the previous ones. We sometimes have that problem of writers dragging plots because they have nothing new to add and us, the readers, struggling to finish the story (because of course, after reading 2 books, no one gives up on reading the third one). Well, I still think this book is nothing but impressive. As a person who’s not into vampires at all, I can safely say this is the book that I enjoyed the most in the series. Even though I didn’t feel huge changes in our LIs, I loved the evolution of our MC when compared to the first book (her character development itself deserves a whole post) and even though there were some things that seemed predictable, there were some others that were completely unexpected. If I had to change something, I’d say we deserved two endings, the one that we had and a darker one, I think PB truly missed an opportunity there. But overall, I think the story came full circle. This is definitely one of my favorite releases in 2020. Distant Shores (April 3, 2020 - July 17, 2020): This book gives me all the “Nighbound” vibes. That is, it is a good story, it is well written, the plot is attractive and overall it was well received by the fandom; however, that’s not enough for it to get a second book (or in PB’s words, “it’s not as popular and profitable as we think”). I personally enjoyed the story, but I didn’t fall in love with it. My biggest complaint is that I kept constantly waiting for some HUGE plot twist, I did need that “I didn’t see that coming” moment to blow our minds… but that never happened and I ended up feeling that PB wasted a story that could have shown us one adventure after another and turned it into something “plain”. Also, even though we had a badass MC, three awesome LIs and an amazing crew, by the time I pressed the “End book” button, I felt I had more questions than answers… and I absolutely hate it when that happens. We never got a chance to know anything about Robert’s story, his background and how he managed to survive and go back and forth between the past and the present. Or we never knew what made him and our MC so special and why the compass helped them to time travel. I can definitely see the potential for a second (and even a third) book, it’s sad to know it won’t be happening.

[alternativewinxcontinuity]

So a few months ago (last year maybe? oh my god what is linear time?!) I was thinking about how I would do a live action reboot, I’ve spoken about Fate Saga before but, I was just reminded of it again and... *sigh*

Anyway, from the long forgotten recesses of my files: here’s the outline (for episode 1) and notes (for the series) for how I would have handled it... except not, because I used Beatrix* and I would not have bothered with her if I could help it. I replaced Terra with our usual cast though. (...re-replaced? unplaced? deplaced? meh, nvm.)

*Beatrix is apparently the character replacing the entire Trix (last time I dared to pay proper attention) and I figured I might as well.

Episode one:

We open on aerial views of Gardenia, showing the town early in the day and meandering into Vanessa's Flower Shop. Bloom is helping her mother out around the shop, sorting a new arrival of decorative vases and notices one is chipped. She scolds it, “first day and you're already on the discount shelf,” puts it down and calls out to her mother when she can't find the ticket gun.

As she walks away to find it, a close up on the vase shows the damage repairing itself (or already gone).

Bloom and her mother banter for a bit, and Bloom teases her mother that 'working for my summer break wasn't what I had in mind.' Her mother teases back and implies that Bloom might be getting a very late gift for her sixteenth birthday. A very late gift.

When Bloom guesses 'car', her mother mother replies that 'it does have wheels and she can use it to carry things,' before having a friendly stare down with Bloom which leads Bloom to 'it’s a bike isn't it.'

Bloom returns to the vases with the ticket gun, but can't find the spot of damage on the vase, and decided she must have imagined it.

Bloom gets back to work, though slightly uneasy.

[scene change]

It is clearly later in the day, the sun getting low, Bloom is checking her phone and walking down the street, a delicious looking beverage in one hand. A girl about the same age as Bloom spots her as she's out for a walk of her own.

Smirking the girl strides up to Bloom and deliberately bumps into her, spilling the drink over both of them and pushing Bloom into a nearby hedge.

The girl starts going off at Bloom, demanding to be repaid for the [high end fashion brand] shirt that Bloom has just ruined.

Struggling to get out of the hedge, Bloom fires back, identifying the girl as Mitzy, and demanding to know why the girl is always like this. Wanting to know what she (Bloom) had ever done to her (Mitzy) that made her want to bully Bloom, even on their school holidays.

Mitzy answers back with something inane, and Bloom shrieks trying to lunge at Mitzy while still half in the hedge.

The Hedge ignites, and Mizty bolts, leaving Bloom to scramble from the burning hedge by her self and scrabble for her phone to call the fire department.

Bloom stares at the burning hedge in shock.

[scene transition]

Bloom stares at the smoking hedge in shock, it is even later in the day, almost dusk, and there is now a fire truck beside her. She is startled back to reality by one of the firemen asking her if she's alright.

She assures him (identifying him as her father) that she's okay but... she thinks she might have started the fire.

Her father, confused, asks what she means by that, and she explains that she thinks her anger might have been what started the fire.

Weird things have been happening to her, something strange is going on. Her father looks worried but says there's likely a good explanation and they can talk more at home, and does Bloom need a lift?

[scene change]

Bloom and her father – Mike – arrive home together to find a worried Vanessa who's heard about the fire. (Because Mike called her earlier.)

As they enter their house, Bloom frowns at a nice looking car because it's parked in what is technically their family's visitor parking. She asks if they have a guest, (Is it Grandma?) only to be told they don't have anyone visiting, and the conversation moves to Bloom's concerns she shared with her father.

[scene shift]

Interior of the house, the family sits down and Mike and Vanessa ask Bloom to tell them about the things she's been dealing with, the 'weird stuff going on around her'.

She tells them about several things, seemingly small things that could just be tricks of the mind, but which happen far to frequently to be normal... unless she has early onset dementia, she asks if they know if her birth family had a history of mental illness, but her parents don't know.

Talking together they decide that now is a good time for Bloom to receive the few items left to her by her birth family.

There's a medallion with strange symbols, a blanket sized for an infant, and a book in a strange language that Bloom swears she can almost read.

Her parents leave Bloom to go through her things and let her know they're there if she needs them.

Bloom has a montage of researching the symbols on the medallion and comes up with an ancient stone ring (like Stonehenge but smaller), dozens scattered around the planet that have similar symbols. (fringe scientists say aliens, but all folk lore associated with them falls under 'fairy tales'.)

During this montage a live bunny moves around the scenes, occasionally getting hugged as an emotional support bunny. It is a strange bluish shade of grey.

[scene change]

At breakfast the next morning Bloom tells her parents what she's discovered about the Fairy Rings, and asks if she can go see the closest one. Her parents share a look and take her outside to show her the car Bloom frowned at yesterday.

“It's your late present from Grandma.” her parents tell her, and Bloom expresses joyed disbelief, then sadness that she'd missed her Grandma again, mentioning that she hasn't seen her in so long she probably wouldn't recognise her if they passed in the street.

[brief montage]

Bloom prepares for her road trip, her parents checking the route with her and helping her pack her bags, giving the rabbit goodbye kisses as she leaves it with her family.

Bloom drives for a few minutes, various backgrounds passing by the windows (possibly one or two outfit changes) until she comes to a heavy and ancient feeling forest which sprawls across the land covering at least part of a mountain range.

Bloom gets out of the car and gives her parents a call to let them know she arrived. She jokes that it would be easier to ask Grandma if only she didn't spend 99.9% of the time 'off the grid'.

Bloom hikes through the forest to a clearing part way up the mountainside.

The circle of standing stones is partly moss covered and Bloom seems reluctant to remove the moss because she's in a nature reserve. She moves into the circle and pulls out her Medallion to compare the symbols only for the stones to begin humming. Bloom stumbles as the stones light up and makes for the edge of the ring, but before she can exit there's a flash of light. When it fades the Fairy Ring Bloom was investigating is empty.

[scene change]

Bloom trips and hits the ground, retching slightly before scrambling to her feet clearly dizzy, she stumbles and reaches out to grab one of the standing stone only to pull back, eyeing the stone warily.

Then has a 'what the hell?' moment, because not only are the stones moss free, they seem to be made of a different type of stone, and she is no longer in the same place.

A loud screeching noise pierces the air and Bloom startles, but then a muddied voice says something she can't quite make out, and she decides “screw it, people! Someone will know what's going on!... and I have literally no better options.”

Racing through the very different forest Bloom quickly finds a young woman fighting what she can only call monsters. The young woman, a blonde in strange garments wielding a staff with a fancy ornament at one end, seems to be tiring.

Bloom grabs a heavy looking branch and starts whacking. The duo manage to do okay, but they can both see it's a losing fight. They manage to get close enough for the blonde to tell Bloom the plan, which is just: make a gap and get back to the Fairy Ring.

They race back along the path Bloom took and she tries asking what the hell is going on, but the Blonde is too out of breath. They make it to the Ring and the blonde tells Bloom “hands on the staff”, Bloom complies without question and the stones flare again, shifting both of them to yet another Fairy Circle.

The blonde falls on her ass clearly worn out, and Bloom turns as she drops to her knees to puke.

A voice calls out to a 'princess Stella' and a strict looking woman appears to inform the blonde that she'd been expected three hours ago. The blonde, apparently princess Stella explains she'd been attacked, her transport had been hacked somehow and she'd been dumped out she didn't even know where, and would have probably died if not for her saviour.

Proper introductions are made between Bloom, Princess Stella and the stern woman who's name is Madam Griselda. Stella informs Bloom that since they just survived life and death together, they are totes besties now.

Bloom responds with a dubious “cool... where are we?”

Stella: the Arrival Ring of Alfea Academy of Fairy Magic, duh?

Bloom: Where on Earth is that?

Stella: what's Earth?

Griselda: ahem! Perhaps this is a conversation for inside, others may be trying to use the Ring, we still have several students not yet here. Go see Headmistress Faragonda!

Griselda makes Stella sign and gives her a student ID blank and a Bloom a visitor pass as she shoos them away. Bloom looks back to see Griselda doing something with one of the stone pillars.

Stella and Bloom chat as they walk, Stella trying to figure out why Bloom's so confused. They have to stop part way down the path as Bloom takes a moment to freak out as she realises she's not on Earth anymore but a Planet called Magix, and the girl in front of her is the crown princess of an entirely different Planet called Solaria.

Bloom: what the hell is my life right now?! I was just trying to find out more about my birth parents!

Stella (awkwardly holding one hand and patting her forearm): look, I've never heard of your home world, but you saved my life, and I like you, so no matter what happens, you'll be okay, I'll look out for you.

They resolve to ask Headmistress Faragonda if she knows anything about Earth when Stella checks in with her as instructed by Griselda.

The duo pass out of the trees that were blocking their view and Bloom has a 'oh wow' moment as she sees Alfea for the first time.

[artistic scene change]

The camera leaves the duo, panning around the school, showing various other young women, (pausing briefly on a few that fans of the cartoon will recognise) before focusing back down through a window to catch up with Stella and Bloom who have made their way to Faragonda's office.

After knocking they are called inside and Bloom pauses as she catches sight of Faragonda, who looks at her with some surprise and what almost seems like recognition, but the expression is gone in an instant and Faragonda asks the girls what happened.

Stella launches into a speech which catches the audience up on her side of the story before Bloom quickly recaps the episode thus far – got a medallion left to me by my birth parents, went searching, found stones, got teleported, kicked butt, ran, arrived here.

Faragonda tells Bloom that without knowing which Ring she'd initially come from, they'd be hard pressed to send her back. They could try a thing which boils down to return call, but that would send her first to the place she and Stella had been running from.

Considering it too dangerous, Faragonda promises to look into things and offers Bloom a place to stay in the mean time, telling her she's welcome to sit in on classes while she's here – after all, Bloom could only have entered the school without a special allowance if she herself was a fairy. (The guest pass doesn’t count)

Stella, super excited about the idea tugs Bloom by the hand, dragging her from the room.

[Scene shift]

The camera pans around to show the school's courtyard from Fragonda's window as Stella shows Bloom to the dorms via the scenic route.

Fragonda stands by the window watching them.

Griselda appears beside her watching over her shoulder.

Griselda: should I prepare for trouble?

Fragonda: … yes, and rather a lot of it I'm afraid...

[Episode ends.]

Next episode the rest of the Winx are introduced, and Bloom begins to learn about the powers she's recently had awakening within her. Fate Saga exclusive character Beatrix begins cropping up.

The Winx begin attempting to investigate Bloom's past via the Medallion, and Faragonda watches on with worry.

Tecna manages to trick out Bloom's phone so she can call her parents to tell them she's met some friends and found a lead and won't be home for a while yet.

Tecna gives the location data she gained from Bloom's phone call to Faragonda in the hopes of helping Bloom get home.

Episode ends with Bloom awakening from a dream (of Daphne), and Beatrix believing she's found a lead to her own investigation.

The following (4**) episodes focus on a mix of Bloom learning magic, the group researching the Medallion and discovering the markings are an ancient dialect belonging to Domino – but that's been a dead world for ages and the dialect wasn't exclusive to the planet.

Bloom has more Daphne dreams; fragments of the dream seem to be Daphne giving her lessons of a spiritual/magical nature.

The Winx realise Beatrix is up to something and share their observations with Faragonda, but when things come to a head at the end of the season, they're the ones who are there at the right time and the Winx fight Beatrix who is trying to steal a crystalline flame.

The artefact destroys Beatrix in the end and Faragonda assures the Winx they aren't at fault and oh btw, Faragonda has found a way to get Bloom home.

The Winx want Bloom to stay with them, but she says she needs to go see her parents, but she'll be back if that's okay with Faragonda, because there's still some things she needs to investigate.

Season closes with several short scenes: Griselda and Faragonda talk about what happened, and suspect Beatrix wasn't a real person, and refer to the Crystal Flame as Daphne's Heart. Griselda tells Faragonda that it might be time to come clean with Bloom.

A sooty, smoking doll on a table surrounded by a trio of out of focus women is the recipient of scorn and derision, the doll looks like Beatrix and the trio make it clear Griselda and Faragonda's suspicions were correct and Beatrix was a fake person the “mysterious trio” had made to investigate a lead at Alfea.

Bloom returns to Earth to find her car dusty but intact, and with a little magic she manages to get it started and drives home. When she arrives her mother welcomes her and tells her she has excellent timing: her Grandma is there. Excited Bloom races into the next room where her father is, but stops and stares in confusion when she sees-

“Ms Faragonda?”

End Season

Season two reveals Faragonda was responsible for hiding Bloom on Earth at the behest of a dying Daphne, Daphne's Heart is in fact, actually Daphne who used ancient magic to preserve her consciousness so she could pass on her knowledge to Bloom, who is basically the last of their bloodline and the (as far as anyone knows) only survivor of Domino.

Season 2 introduces the Boys and the Trix. (Also Aisha if she can't be shoehorned into season 1)

**unless it’s changed or I’m recalling wrong, the Fate Saga season 1 episode count was six hour long episodes?

[penguin-ghost]

Week 4 - Running out of title ideas

It's almost the-mid semester break...??? This week has been a very meh week for me... I was rejected from my 2nd dream university (in the UK) and so I will probably (read: almost definitely) just do my undergrad in Sydney. To my surprise, I actually wasn't all that upset (?) just because so many people deferred from last year and the offer rate for my subject dropped to 10%. It’s really an incredibly tough year for applicants, especially international applicants. Oh well, life is life. Let's get back to uni life in Sydney.

Physics

We finally started learning something entirely new! Rotation of rigid bodies with angular versions of displacement, velocity and acceleration. I love the symmetry between the regular equations and the angular ones, there's something so satisfying about them. I also happened to really enjoy this week's lab, although it basically involved throwing my phone into the air 👀. Anyhow, it was interesting to find out that the phone cannot stably rotate about its x-axis (which is explained by the Tennis racket theorem).

Understanding the material has been relatively easy, but tackling problems is another story. Sometimes it is difficult to know what principals/laws/approaches to apply. I guess it all takes practice. Although I must admit, Physics often makes one feel intellectually incompetent.

Reality, Ethics and Beauty

We wrapped up the module on metaphysics, and it ended with a bang (at least for me). We discussed the two main approaches to mental states and consciousness: Dualism and Materialism along with their sub-categories.

I also picked a question for my essay: it's about free-will and higher order desires.

Next week begins the ethics part of the course, and there is substantially more reading to be done. But overall, I'm surprised by how little reading we actually do as Phil majors...

Linear Algebra

Began studying matrices and things... but so far, the content is still a rather boring... Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 things get more interesting when it comes to eigenvalues.

Calculus of One Variable

Compared to Linear Algebra, this class is significantly harder (and feels more rigorous), which also makes it much more fun. We spent a while formally defining limits with the epsilon-delta definition. It did take some time to digest although it does make intuitive sense.

p.s. I think this is actually my favourite class(?)

Introduction to Programming

What the hell.

I was pretty satisfied with my progress after the Monday lectures on lists and arrays. Then I attended my tutorial on Wednesday and my confidence level dropped straight into a deep abyss (I still haven't finished the exercises 😢). 

On the other hand, it feels great when I finish writing a program THAT WORKS. It's a pretty addictive feeling actually 🤦🏻‍♀️

I also tried to learn Vim, although I'm not using Vim to code yet, I am getting familiar with the keybindings in VS code (via the Vim extension). And it definitely speeds things up. I'm hoping to make the full transition during the mid-semester break, or some time in the holidays when I have more time to properly learn it.

p.s. we got our first assignment and the instruction is so damn long.

[popculture-etc]

Kenny Rogers, Adam Schlesinger,...coping with 2020

Worst year ever although there were some good.

It’s too early yet for me to do a quick look back on what 2020 is like here as we’re only going to be in the first of December tomorrow (it’s Nov 30 here) but I just have to as two losses this year broke me. Kind of, well, especially the second one.

You see, before East Asian pop, Jpop and Kpop, Western pop culture was my thing. It still is and this pandemic has made me go back to that recently starting with...the Beach Boys (their westcoast sound caught me, hook, line, and sinker and I wasn’t very fond of the Beatles to begin with...to be completely honest) I’m currently chillin’ to right now, as I write this post. I’m really weak to the westcoast sound. Beach sound/s in general, rather. I’m a big fan of the beach where nature goes, for one. Since some time, a few years ago, deep chill and tropical house music has been my go-to when I want to chill or calm myself down after an outburst of sorts and I put them on when I just feel meh, especially on Fridays. When I dream of being by the sea, the beach or in some island on my own. I live in a country with a lot of beaches and the Visayas here is basically island region Philippines, lol. Like most people, I listen to music according to mood just like the way I dress according to mood. And...it’s no wonder, really that I’m so into the Beach Boys now. RIP the Beatles. My dad played some songs of theirs on the guitar or so but the hold they have on me waned later on and I just think now how overrated they were back then. They did have good songs but when talking of good music, as in really good that it retains the same sound style or so, it’s the Beach Boys for me. Brian Wilson is the man despite his issues and personal struggles.

Anyway, we’re going quickly off tangent. I’ll save the Beach Boys fangirling for another day. lol.

I grew up with western pop culture rife all around me thanks to my American, cowboy country and folk music listening dad, my Carpenters-loving mom and then, college-aged aunts who’d made me see the Titanic film more than my fingers could count---the third is clearly an exaggeration but well...some of it is true and they were why I got into American films like Pretty Woman (we have this in good ol’ VHS in our family home, my grandparents’ in Jasaan), Mannequin, Ghost etc. in the late 80s, coming into the early 90s. So, tired of all the kdrama and uninteresting kvariety shows on tvn and the rebranded local channel, Kapamilya (long story for what we formerly know as ABS-CBN, the nation’s a mess right now and our gov’t’s just...ick!), I’d retreated to my cave and got into old tv shows I’d watched as a kid instead like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charmed and it’s been, well, moving on from there. I’m checking out Twin Peaks later. I’ve been watching old Hollywood films too. Some revisits on this include: Casablanca, Gone With The Wind, and especially A Streetcar Named Desire will always and forever be my favorite. Very young and cute and good looking Marlon Brando, ugh. I have some others in the stash which include Bonnie and Clyde I’ll be getting into much, much later, maybe over the weekends and holidays. In sum, I have a long history with western pop culture, especially America’s, more than I have with Japan’s and South Korea’s. The latter being very, very recent so it doesn’t really compare as much.

Let’s get right down to it...

So 2020 had us lose Kenny Rogers to natural causes on March 20 in a hospice and after, Adam Schlesinger to COVID 19 complications on April 1. I know the latter as the songwriter of The Wonders’ That Thing You Do from the film sharing the same song title. I know Kenny Rogers well because my dad listens to him over and over in the car. In pretty much the same way, I know the words to Islands in the Stream by heart and I accept and revere it as one of the best, if not THE BEST country-pop duet songs of all time between Kenny and Dolly Parton...as far as country and pop music in the US of A’re concerned, of course. Miley and Shawn Mendez’s cover of it I’d seen recently was alright but nothing still beats the OG one, as always. With music, it’s just, really always the case.

Kenny departing from us March this year was alright. He was well cared for in a hospice and at the right age too, to leave us and this mess of a world behind for the afterlife. Sounds grim but not really. Heh. He died of natural causes so we know he was at peace and accepted then that his time has come. Fans and long-time listeners of his should also be at peace with this knowledge. I don’t consider myself a fan but since he’s been around so much because my dad plays his songs in the car often, I’m the same. I’ve accepted his passing away early this year. He’s lived his life well and given us good music to listen to should we like to remember him and his works and celebrate his life and legacy doing so.

Schlesinger’s case was way worse because, well, COVID 19. And it’s well...I guess we all saw it coming, me included, that I’d just learned, watching the one of many national English news on ANC that ‘pandemic’ is the word of the year according to Merriam-Webster. Timely, huh? Yep. Predictable, really. Sarcasm noted here.

So if someone ever asks what 2020 was about, we only have to say that according to Merriam-Webster, it’s the global (COVID 19) pandemic. Short, not-so-sweet, succinct, and grim. Yep.

This one, Schlesinger’s case, is something I still find difficult to accept. He was only 52 years old! He was at the prime of his life and had some projects still he was working on at the time of his passing so WHY?! I suppose that’s all of us who followed him and his extensive work on tv, film, the stage and his own band, Fountains of Wayne when we heard news he’s passed away due to COVID 19 complications. It’s definitely me now though I learned of it late. Heh.

To cope with the sadness of losing Schlesinger, gone too soon at 52 years old and with an impressive Hollywood tv, stage, film resume to his name since and his own band’s, Fountains of Wayne (FoW) really good discography, by the way, I’ve been listening to FoW’s Welcome Interstate Managers---all of the contents of said album/record---and That Thing You Do’s OST with the Beach Boys’ Sounds of Summer Best of in between. My favorite song on Welcome Interstate Managers is the sarcastic take on real life as an everyday worker in sales, Bright Future in Sales. As much as I like chill sounds where music goes, I like me some music with lyrics jolting us back to grim reality in much the same way I like films (indies, mostly, or lesser known short and full-length ones) that tackle social issues not frequently discussed in public or so but we are aware are there, still plaguing much of today’s society. I live for cynical, satirical, ironic, and even hyperbolic stuff about real life actually. It may be why I’m so entrenched and attached to the era where we all hated ourselves---the 90s. Although one would say much of that sentiment or feeling did carry itself to the 2000s, though. I don’t know about you, but until now, I still hate or have heavy dislike for myself and everything else around me, especially our gov’t or current admin here in the Philippines, and people in general so I don’t think it ever really goes away. And going off tangent again for the nth time today.

Anyway, my 1996 was That Thing You Do on HBO in our household...on and off along with other 90s films like The Craft, Clueless, Jawbreakers (I think this still plays in Cinemax from time to time) so of course losing Schlesinger also was...rather, is hard. He’s done so much and he was supposed to be working on more and he’s left such a deep mark here for us, avid fans of American pop culture...I suppose, even the casual ones. Aside from his That Thing You Do, I’d also seen Josie and the Pussycats at some point. I don’t remember when, where...though I did watch some episodes of the cartoon on Cartoon Network (CN) so of course, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the film of it as well. He worked on a track or some tracks there, too. 

2020 sucks. COVID 19 sucks. This global pandemic sucks. But at least there’re films, tv shows, music, stage musical plays turned movies (Jonathan Larson’s Tick, Tick...Boom! is coming to us soon with Andrew Garfield in the lead---I’m wary of Garfield being a forgettable actor since The Amazing Spider Man because Dane Dehaan was what made that for me, to be quite honest so I’m not so sure of him being Jon here and as a self-respecting Larson fan since Rent, I’d rather they casted Neil Patrick Harris/NPH since he was in the London stage for this way back anyway...) to keep us entertained and fine until then. What would it take for ‘rona, and I’m not talking about the American Corona beer here that’s really popular in the west coast, to go away? I, like the rest of you in self isolation or quarantine, tend to think so but I don’t think we’ll have any answer to that until the vaccines are well underway by spring next year. Or at least, that’s what health authorities and scientists tell us anyway. I get reminded of it often in the news and I only tune in to that once in a while now because even that, following that daily, breaks my mental faculties down due to stress and pressure and all and I can’t have that when I still have so much, at the back of my mind, to do.

But anyway, time to conclude this one with one of my favorite The Wonders songs, All My Only Dreams just to end on a good note, better than the last paragraph’s ending at least and to remember Schlesinger as well that we’d lost this year along with plenty others we’d met in passing who’ve also left this world especially due to COVID 19 complications. I know we know a lot of those. For me, it’s a distant relative or family member I’d known since young but don’t have particular fluffy bunny feelings for because of some things that happened between the guy and me growing up in the NCR/Caloocan City to be exact. There’s also my good friend and former co-worker’s only remaining parent, her dad and a few more, I’m sure. So I hope 2021 would be better but I doubt it...very much. It’s still looking pretty dim, grim and bleak from here, where I’m currently standing in 2020.

Before we really end though, COVID 19 is definitely not a hoax. It hasn’t been since the first cases started in Wuhan, China. It’s just, only been getting worse and still continue to claim lives and spread to more people even those at home. So as someone who comes from a household of mostly medical workers or health care workers here, we should really be very careful about and around it. Let’s take the necessary health protocols seriously like wearing a mask out and maybe the face shield too and always keeping the sanitizers, alcohols in our bags among others---hygiene and sanitation, disinfection. It may come off really anal of me and I am not anal (I don’t like people with Type A personalities in the first place, lol...I’m just a very cautious Virgo, really, and a Type X---mix of Type C and D personalities) but seriously, SERIOUSLY, I can’t stress this enough, COVID 19, the virus SARS-COV2, that causes it is real. Very real and once it’s in your system, it can go the fatal, deadly way or just the mild and you’ll recover later anyway way. It’s not picking which people should die next and which should not, really. It’s really just there making a mess of things that are already messy since the beginning. My point being, it’s just better if we don’t spread it or are careful enough not to contract it with following health protocols set by health experts, scientists to help us get by this...pandemic. 

Well here’s to 2020 being over soon and 2021 creeping in on us soon enough. 

P.S.

Billie Armstrong of Greenday upped a cover of That Thing You Do as a tribute to Adam and the youtube live of the Wonders coming together again to pay tribute to and celebrate Adam’s life may still be up on the ‘tube. I have yet to see the latter but enjoyed the former. They are just so...sweet and precious. Ugh. Adam Schlesinger, gone too soon indeed. :(

PPS

Another songwriter/contributor in the TTYD OST passed away last year, too. Rick Elias. Cause of death is brain cancer. I had a friend from college, young and so full of life and dreams, who passed away due to the same thing so I’m kind of aware how this goes. Ugh. Cancer sucks. All of these are just so...sad. Depressing, actually.

[superfluous-person]

13/07/2020

Daily word: Mirabilia

Daily Wiki page: The Flying House (TV series)

Instead of healthy sleep (well, 20 mins aren't healthy and aren't "sleep") I've had one of my favourites energy drinks "Hacker". I know it's lame but the aesthetic of can is so nice... Plus, in reality it's not that energising. Sometimes it can be a big benefit, especially if you don't want to feel more tired after and you're ok with mostly Placebo energising effect. If I wanted a big energy bump, I'd buy a pile of "Tiger".

According to my early morning research, I am more than able to get into whatever chemistry uni I want. I have three ways to do so actually:

Send them a list of the best grades you've managed to get. Some unis give you an ability to study there by evaluating your certificates of the last four years of high school. You don't need to pass an exam if you studied well in required subjects. My dream uni has this system. Of course, the number of people getting in there is really big, but the level of difficulty makes about 30 % of first graders quit.

Participate or win in the national or regional turn of Chemistry Olympics, category A. It differs by a chosen programme but still is pretty challenging. Tho, I must say, winning in category A isn't as hard as you may think. The category A is for last grade of high school, when people try to study for maturita exam. The study materials of maturita and olympics are very different and usually pretty difficult, so not many students go for this option. This way, the concurrence is pretty low.

Pass an exam. According to my research, test usually has a chemistry part and physics part. To my satisfaction, chemistry part is nearly obvious and physics can be easily learnt.

So yeah. The future seem suspiciously bright.

I decided that reaction kinetics and complex chemistry is too hard to do just in a day, so I'll postpone it to the end of holidays. This week I planned starting physical chemistry (thermodynamics etc.). I'm pretty excited, because I fell in love with its precise at the first time I've seen formulas.

...Judging by the amount of text I've written, I need a personal life. Meh, Kenma is enough.

[delicatebluebirdruins]

The Hunger Games movie

1. reading is a step down from narration (thought it in Cinema Sins voice)

2. some mixed feelings about the speech (not entirely sure why tho) but Cinema Wins helped with that

3. I love the addition of the deep in the meadow to calm Prim

4. kitty cat

5. hello favourite screenshot

6. such a fan of the soundtrack

7. why is Katniss hunting deer on reaping day

8. Gale’s little sister got forgotten along with the rest of his siblings and mother (whelp posy just got forgotten was my exact wording on my scrap paper)

9. “is this real?” Nah Kat its a well painted rock

10. oh Madge you aged fabulously “whimpers softly”

11. “as long as you have it” its 50/50 when you think about it

12. excellent shaky cam but it would be more scary if they were POV shot from the different children

13. I wonder how the film/book would be different if it followed Kat around at school for the day

14. I love that moment just after Prim’s name is read out that wordless shock

15. I remember watching the volunteer clip in the trailer back in 2012 when we were on holiday around the time we (mum, dad and I) first read the book

16. the greater reaction to the Peeta’s name being reaction

17. Gale’s line “its no different” about killing people is something I always kind of found chilling

18. the music and the expression on Kat’s face when watching the rerun of a previous game is chilling

19. seeing the Capital is a fave scene because of how different it is from 12

20. compliments of Peeta

21. hello creepy silent prep team

22. Cinna!!!

23. the reactions to the tribute parade from Everlark, the presents, the public and Snow

24. I love the score during the parade and of course Everlark holding hands

25. don’t really care for the flames suddenly going out tbh

26. Hi Cato

27. I kind of love the room Katniss is in and what she’s wearing

28. the changing wallpaper (?) is fun

29. what is foxface doing during the training?

30. more compliments

31. yes show that arm strength

32. I really am not a fan of the women gamemakers being excluded (as in the official ones not the techies)

33. I love Katniss shooting the arrow out of the pigs mouth

34. I love the theme for Katniss

35. I love the speech about hope in the rose garden

36. the interview dress is so very underwhelming

37. nah Prim didn’t say goodbye to Katniss what a shocking idea

38. I love the interview between Peeta and Caesar- the little hum Peeta did when smelling Caesar- the mirroring of the way they’re sitting

39. hello the not roof scene

40. Cinna :(

41. Hi Gale

42. I call the countdown to the damn you Garry Ross segments when it comes to Peeta

43. I don’t know why I really love the scene of Katniss going the bag

44. I’m kind of a fan of the tech for showing the tributes in the sky

45. the filmmakers are cowards for not showing a more extreme extent of everyone’s wounds

46. hello fireballs

47. i love the river

48. Peeta staring up at Kat is great

49. i love the sound of the parachute

50. Glimmers death is brutal and ugly and I love it though why couldn’t they have made the realities of the injuries the main cast go through just more there (true not everyone pulls off the beaten to a pulp look but still)

51. the hallucinations are great even if I don’t understand why Caesar is there

52. Hello Rue- I love Rue

53. how are the leaves staying on Kat’s arm?

54. I love the “is all of that true? You and him” scene and Rues smile

55. the hug; the music and of course Ca Boom Bitches

56. Rue seems so young when she’s trapped- and I only just realised that whilst Kat was singing we slip into Rue’s POV and see the screen fade to white

57. the salute and the riot in D11

58. the search for Peeta is great-- I have mixed feelings about the notes with sponsor gifts but meh

59. I dislike the “watching you go home everyday”

60. Peeta: If I die... Kat: NO

61. the way Claudius says “generous hosts” is something I always find creepy

62. Kat could have just stabbed Clove with arrow instead of trying to shoot her with it (did I watch a certain Narnian Queen do the same thing earlier on? Maybe)

63. I love the scene earlier on in the film with Thresh smiling up at Rue because it just makes this scene better as well

64. lovingly tending the others wounds? CHECK

65. I love the smile Katniss makes after Peeta makes the joke about the bow

66. (about the mutts at the end) When the dvd for this film first arrived I watched it first and I got in trouble with my mother for doing so but I reminded her of some of the things that happened because my sister wanted to watch it and yeah mum lost her argument because my prior knowledge did stop my sister getting really scared (I’m very proud of her despite her not reading the books she is still a Everlark shipper)

67. the nightlock scene is good but it could have been better

68. goodbye beard man

69. I have mixed feelings about Katniss talking to Haymitch on the... hey is that a rooftop?

70. I also have mixed feelings about the interview at the end (though I do like “we saved each other”)

71. i love the homecoming and the handholding

72. that one person in the gamemaker room whistling at the feed of Katniss and Peeta holding hands is kind of me

73. Abraham’s Daughter should always be paired with a dramatic walk somewhere- and I love it

74. Safe and Sound is such a lovely song

[eldritchsurveys]

873.

5k Survey I

1. Who are you? >> I’m Mordred. 2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you? >> I’m sensory-defensive and post-traumatic, I'm part of a multiple system, and I’m a fictional character.    3. When you aren’t filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing? >> Taking way shorter surveys. When I’m not taking surveys at all, I’m posting on tumblr or pillowfort, reading, playing video games, researching video game lore, watching a movie or show, or trying to manage my hellbrain (which is a whole separate task in itself). 4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn’t like at the time). >> I do my best not to think about school, the last bit of which was 15 years ago anyway. 5. What is your biggest goal for this year? >> I don’t make goals like that.

6. Where do you want to be in 5 years? >> It’s inconceivable to me to plan ahead that far. Even to think ahead that far seems silly and pointless to my very present-focused (and past-haunted) mind.

7. What stage of life are you in right now? >> Adulthood. Just the general “adulthood” between hectic young adulthood and transitional middle age. 8. Are you more child-like or childish? >> I’m not child-like or childish. I simply understand that the division between “childhood” and “adulthood” isn’t nearly as cut-and-dried as society has organised it for the sake of legality and social interaction, and I also understand that the desire to escape childhood and “childish things” is a conceit of the young, who wish to be seen as grown and independent creatures (which is part of development! it makes perfect sense). By the time you get to your thirties, it really stops mattering. You know you’re an adult. You know that being an adult means you have the freedom to do whatever you want (as far as leisure and play and stuff like that goes, I mean), which means you can sit in your pjs watching cartoons and eating sugar cereal if you like, and no parent can chide you for it, and your peers can fuck off if they don’t like it. (The “adult” part of doing that is knowing to stop after one and a half bowls of said cereal, lmao. It’s all a balance, innit?)

9. What is the last thing you said out loud? >> I don’t remember. 10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now? >> I don’t think there’s any song that can capture that. Or, maybe there is, but I don’t know about it. 11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes? >> No. I’ve been interested, but frankly, I can’t afford anything like that. 12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same? >> There is no set trajectory, like that. Life has high points and low points, and the majority of it is really spent somewhere in the middle. It’s just that we focus on the high points and the low points most often (and when the low points are particularly low, they often end up defining our entire existence, even when we’re in the middle or even at high points).   13. Does time really heal all wounds? >> It’s not time that does it. Time just always happens to pass while the healing is being done, so we figure it’s the most common denominator. It takes work to heal, not just passively sitting around waiting for it to happen. 14. How do you handle a rainy day? >> I bring an umbrella, if I have to go out. Usually I don’t, so I just... do what I would do normally? 15. Which is worse…losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights? >> Obviously losing your luggage... 16. How is your relationship with your parents? Will you miss them when they are gone? >> We have no relationship. There will be nothing to miss. 17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you? >> Yeah. Especially since I’m prone to hypervigilance. 18. What is the truest thing that you know? >> The truest thing that I know is that I don’t know shit, and neither does anyone else. We’re all just elaborately guessing about shit, and interpreting reality the best way we can. Which is great, really. The fact that we keep trying to understand shit is cool. Just... “the map is not the territory” kind of applies to a lot of the stuff we think we know. ...Or not, right? After all, what do I know? :p 19. What did you want to be when you grew up? >> I just wanted to be free. 20. Have you ever been given a second chance? >> Probably. 21. Are you more of a giver or a taker? >> I’m a fair amount of both, being, you know, a person. 22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind? >> I make my decisions the best way I know how. Whatever that means. 23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you? >> Menstrual cramps. 24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you? >> Yeah, right, like I’m going to be able to rank that. 25. Who have you hugged today? >> No one. 26. Who has done something today to show they care about you? >> --- 27. Do you have a lot to learn? >> Of course. I don’t necessarily have to learn all of it, but it sure is out there. 28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be? >> I don’t think that would be of any benefit to me. As much as I balk at taking those long uphill journeys to skillfulness, I feel like those journeys are beneficial and aid one’s growth. I’d rather not just snap my fingers and have a djinni grant me abilities like that. 29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel? >> How what other people do and say makes me feel. 30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship? >> Meh. 31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die? >> I don’t have a list like this. 32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing? >> I think I would rather die than be incarcerated. So I’d take the death penalty if I could avoid a life imprisonment sentence... 33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause? >> Not particularly. 34. What does each decade make you think of? The 1920’s: Prohibition. Wait, was that the 20s or the 30s? 30’s: World War II. 40’s: The rest of WWII. 50’s: I just think of... all the propaganda images from that era. You know, all the... domestic Whiteness... also, weird foods like meat aspic. 60’s: Hippies and Woodstock. 70’s: The Vietnam War (and the protests). 80’s: Hair metal. 90’s: Grunge and weird television/movies. 2000 : Well, I was an adult for most of this decade, and more or less aware of the world, so I don’t have a succinct “concept” of the aughts the way I have for decades that I didn’t live through, that I only have historical knowledge of. 2010’s: ^

35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why? >> I feel an emotional connection to the spirit of the nineties. I don’t feel like trying to organise my words to explain why, I feel like that would take a lot of energy right now and I still have fifteen questions to go. 36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song? >> I don’t have one particular favourite. 37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country? >> United States. Donald Trump is president, weirdly enough. If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be? >> I’d rather not, thanks. 38. What’s your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night? >> I don’t watch television in the middle of the night... 39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why? >> That’s a great question, but the thing about Disney villains is that I don’t relate to them as much as I just love watching them do what they do. Like, my favourite is Judge Frollo, but I don’t think it’s because I have anything in common with him. Or, hell, maybe I would burn down an entire city because I don’t know how to handle the fact that I really want to bone this superbly hot chick. (My actual favourite villain is Catholic Guilt.) 40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout? >> Briefly. 41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat? >> I would rather fly. I feel like boat travel would take a particularly long time and I’m not into that. 42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night? >> Oh, you know. Science. (I’m not Google.) 43. What does your name mean? >> I’m not sure anyone really knows what “Mordred” means. 44. Would you rather explore the depths of the ocean or outer space? >> Outer space. 45. What is the first word that comes to mind when you see the word: Air: Astrology. Meat: Beef. Different: Strokes. Pink: Panther. Deserve: Entitlement. White: Power, unfortunately. Been reading about too many fucking Nazis lately. Elvis: Pelvis. Magic: Mountain. Heart: Head. Clash: Punk. Pulp: Fiction.

46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be? >> I don’t care about this. 47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive? >> I still don’t care. 48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday? >> Of course not. I did watch Event Horizon every day for like a month, but I was in the psych ward at the time. What the fuck else would I have done anyway? 49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do? >> What do I bring to do?! That’s definitely the least of my concerns with a hypothetical like this. I can’t fucking survive in an elevator for a week, dude. 50. Have you ever saved someone’s life or had your life saved? >> Doubtful.

[purplesurveys]

657

~A~ Is your birthday before August? Yep, and the month starts with A, too – my birthday’s in April. Are you an Aries? Close enough. I’m a Taurus. Would you consider yourself Artistic? Hell nah.

~B~ Are you a Brunette? I am not. Do you have Blue eyes? No I don’t. Hair and eye color questions get so tiring to answer, lmao. Your Best friend? I have two best friends.

~C~ What is your favorite Channel on TV? Mmm I don’t watch TV anymore but I think my favorite would be either TLC or E!, because I’m a sucker for dumb reality shows, lmao. Back when I still used cable religiously I’d normally tune in to Fox. Have you ever been to Chicago, IL? Nope but it’s one of my dream destinations for sure. Do you have a Crush on anyone? Yep. It’d be weird to be in a long-term relationship with someone I didn’t have a crush on haha.

~D~ Where is your Dad right now? As far as I know he’s stationed in Australia and is staying there until the end of his term. His ship normally has cruises around Japan, China, and South Korea but because of the coronavirus going around exactly in that region, his company has made everyone stay in Australia for the meantime. Are your parents Divorced? No. Even if they wanted to they couldn’t, because divorce is illegal here. Do you have your Driver's license? Yeah, I’ve had it for four years.

~E~ What did you last Eat? I’m eating chocnut at the moment :) I haven’t had it in a while but I had a sudden craving for it last weekend, so my mom bought a pack just for me.

How many piercings do you have in your Ears? Two, one in each earlobe.

Is it past Eleven o'clock am? Way past, it’s 7:17 PM.

~F~ Who was your First friend? My first friend was a girl named Kaye that I met in kinder. She has very common first and last names, so it’s been impossible to find her on social media and reconnect with her.

Who was your First Boyfriend/Girlfriend? Gabie.

Where was your last airplane Flight to? Flying back to Manila from Batanes.

~G~ Are you a Gemini? Nope, but you’ve mentioned the star signs before and after my real one, Taurus.

Have you ever been to Germany? I have not. But Germany is kinda close to my heart because Nacho was always studying to be fluent in German. When he passed we came up with an inside joke that he actually just moved to Germany to finally fulfill his dreams, and that joke became a source of comfort for us. 

How many of your Grandparents are still living? Three out of four.

~H~ Are you in High School? Nope. It’s been nearly four years since I graduated. :)

What is your favorite Holiday? My birthday, if it counts. If it doesn’t, Halloween. If that also doesn’t, I don’t have a favorite holiday I guess.

What do you Hear right now? Just my electric fan whirring. I don’t feel like having background noise at the moment.

~I~ What is your favorite flavor of Ice cream? Cookies and cream!

Have you ever been Ice skating? Yesssss it was one of my favorite pastimes as a kid. I never took lessons, I never learned a single trick, but I could glide for hours, and that was enjoyable enough for me. My parents used to drop me off at ice skating rinks while they did the groceries and went window shopping, because they knew I’d find those boring.

Can you play any Instruments? No. I can play simple tunes on the recorder but like almost everybody can use the recorder, so I don’t even count it anymore hah.

~J~ Does your name begin with J? It doesn’t...and my name is still pretty far down the alphabet.

Does your birthday fall in the months of January, June, or July? None of those months.

Do you know anyone who speaks Japanese? I probably do. UP is a very diverse community and I just know there’s a community out there with varying degrees of knowledge of Japanese dedicated to learning the language.

~K~ Do you regret your last Kiss? Not at all.

Do you have any Kids? I don’t.

Have you ever taken a Karate class? No but I used to be jealous of my kuya because he regularly took taekwondo as a kid. I thought it was super cool seeing his uniform and the color of his belt gradually changing.

~L~ Who was the last person to tell you 'I Love you'? My girlfriend.

Have you ever been to the Statue of Liberty? No.

When was the last time you went to a Library? Uhhhhh last week. For one of my classes, we had to go to the main library’s AVR to watch a documentary on Jose Rizal. 

~M~ What is your Middle name? Meh, I’m not saying that on her.

How old is your Mother? She’s 48, but is turning 49 later this year.

What is your favorite kind of Music? It varies. I have favorite artists, not genres, so my taste in the latter is really spread out.

~N~

What are the last 4 digits of your phone Number? Nope.

What does your Name mean? Last time I checked it means something like fame or bright or star.

Do you have any Nieces or Nephews? No, but I was already assigned to be a godson to my cousin when I was 15 which is close enough. About nieces or nephews though, I’m one of the oldest kids from our generation so if anything, my relatives are waiting on me and my other similarly-aged cousins to be the first ones to have kids haha.

~O~ Do you live on your Own? I don’t. I still live with my parents as do most Filipino kids/young adults do. I’m planning to move to my own place within a couple of years, though.

Are you the Oldest child? Yes I am.

Do you know anyone who lives in Oregon? I don’t think so.

~P~ What are your Parent's names? Edgardo and Abby. My dad goes by a certain nickname also but he hates it, so only family and close friends call him that.

Do you have any Pets? Yes, I have the cutest, sweetest, chubbiest dog on the floor beside me.

Do you have any Polish ancestry? I’m like 300% sure that I do not lmao.

~Q~ Have you ever been to Quebec? Nope.

A Quote you like: Just because I recently rewatched Titanic: “A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets,” said by Rose by the end of the film, when she talks about how she has never talked about Jack until that moment, not even to her granddaughter’s grandfather.

Do you ever eat at Quizno's? I have never eaten there and have only ever seen one branch here in Metro Manila, which has since been replaced with a Krispy Kreme as far as I know.

~R~ When was the last time you saw a Rainbow? A safe guess would be a few weeks ago.

Are you a Redhead? Nope.

What was the last book you Read? It was a book on communication theory that I needed to read for my community press elective.

~S~ When was the last time you Slept in someone else's bed? A month ago, I think? I have bad short-term memory lmao, but that’s my best guess.

Are you a Scorpio? Again, no.

Would you consider yourself a Shy person? I am at first but I can warm up pretty easily.

~T~ How many Tattoos do you have? Approximately zero.

Are you a Twin? No.

Do you like Techno? No.

~U~ Do you own an Umbrella? Not anymore. I used to keep buying new ones but I keep losing them, so I just stopped buying altogether and just relied on hoodies whenever it would rain.

Are you Under 21? Nope.

Have you ever been to Utah? I have nottttt.

~V~ Are you a Virgin? No.

Have you ever been to Vatican City? No.

Where did you last go on Vacation? Our last legit vacation would be the one in Batanes. We’ve had several out-of-town trips after that, but those were usually quick, weekend getaways.

~W~ How many Windows are in the room you're in? One, but there’s also a set of glass doors here.

What are you Wearing? Just an ordinary t-shirt and shorts.

Can you Whistle? Yes I can.

~X~ How many X-rays have you had in the last 2 years? Zero.

Are you on good terms with your last Ex? So good I’ve been dating her again in the last four years, lol.

Do you own an Xbox? We’ve never owned an Xbox. This family takes their Playstation love seriously.

~Y~ Who is the Youngest person living in the same household as you? My brother, who is currently 16.

Are you wearing anything Yellow? Nope.

Are you Younger then the last person you kissed? No. I’m older, but only barely.

~Z~ When was the last time you visit the Zoo? I’ve never been to a zoo. The closest thing to a zoo that I’ve been to was a safari, and that would be like 6-7 years ago.

How many Zippers are on the clothing you’re wearing? None.

What is your Zipcode? No thanks.

[bereft-of-frogs]

If you are ever so inclined - I'd be very interested in your horror recommendations.

This got…probably more involved than you intended. :D It was a good procrastination tool/distraction from A Thing I didn’t want to do though, and I had fun revisiting some of these old trailers.

This ended up really long. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m like this.

“The New Golden Age”

[These are what I’m talking about when I talk about us entering in a new golden age - really genre bending, specifically out to subvert tropes, make social statements, and empower people who have been shut out by horror in the past.]

Jordan Peele - Get Out (2017) and Us (2019)

Ah, Jordan Peele. The master of the comedy to horror turn. Get Out was the most fun I’ve had watching a horror movie in a long time. I love how it really fits itself to classic tropes but subverts them by flipping the genre and race dynamics. (Daniel Kaluuya’s character embodies the ‘Final Girl’ trope.)

Us fucked me up. Like, woke up at 3am thinking about it, couldn’t really look at Lupita Nyong’o for a while. The remix of the song that plays over the trailer literally gives me goosebumps. It freaked me out, so much. That one is a genre bender - you think you’re watching one thing (a classic home-invasion type trope with some weird mystery to it) and then the final scene basically upends everything you thought you were watching. Fucked. Me. Up.

Ari Aster - Hereditary (2018) and Midsommar (2019)

I’ve been talking a bunch about how much I loved Midsommar. It’s gorgeous visually, Ari Aster is so great at just letting things hang and letting tension build and build - and it was the first horror movie I think I’ve ever felt weirdly empowered by. Like, similar to when I saw Captain Marvel, I walked out of the theater like “is this how men feel all the time?” Hereditary is probably a better movie overall, not counting the fact that it was practically made for me. At its core it’s a grief drama, a phenomenal portrait of mourning…and it’s also really fucking scary. Those slow-tension building scenes are really used effectively in Hereditary.

I also think it’s interesting because Ari Aster is keeping pace with Jordan Peele, but did it in the opposite order. Hereditary is the genre-bender - you kind of think it’s a family drama/psychological horror for most of it, and then it takes a hard turn and makes you question everything you were watching. Midsommar is more on-genre norms - it’s essentially the classic ‘bunch of terrible people getting picked off one by one’ trope (I don’t know if there’s a better name for that), but by applying folk horror and really centering female characters as both pro- and an- tagonist, it does a lot of unexpected things.

Robin Aubert - Les Affamés (”The Ravenous”) (2017)

It’s a zombie movie, but it’s more than that. This movie is so layered. I saw it at a festival when it first came out and then we watched it again this year on St. Jean-Baptiste (Québec national holiday) because we wanted to be #OnTheme. (And to celebrate St. Jean-Baptiste without having to interact with crowds) and it kind of clicked what it was doing. It’s really about the absorbing of difference into the dominant, hegemonic culture and the struggle for marginalized individuals to survive. Robin Aubert has a couple others I haven’t seen yet, but have heard good things about and are on my list. I saw a critic call his main brand ‘pastoral terror’ (terreur pastorale) which I absolutely love as a concept.

Alex Garland - Annihilation (2018)

Some people might argue with me if this is horror or not, if it’s sci-fi, but I think it’s body horror. And it’s beautiful body horror! See this is what I’m here for. Body horror is not just gore - there’s not a lot of blood in this movie. Body horror is about distortion and the grotesque. There’s this one scene that still gives me chills when I think about it and Tessa Thompson’s final scene is beautiful body horror at its finest. (There was also a really similar scene in Midsommar, so I clearly know what I like.) The soundtrack is also phenomenal.

[I had a whole rant about the book series, which I hated, here, but it was getting long and derailing so I cut it out. the tldr is I hated the book.]

“Classics I actually Enjoy”

[I don’t always love what appears at the top of the like ‘essential horror’ lists, but these are the ones I think are worth it.]

Dario Argento - Deep Red (1975)

I really, really wanted to like Suspiria more, because the concept and Goblin’s score for Suspiria both appeal to me a lot more. But I had a lot more fun watching Deep Red. So far it’s my favorite of the giallos.

Richard Donner - The Omen (1976)

Classic. It’s so good. “It’s all for you, Damian!” Plus, I love any movie that comes with rumors of a curse.

Alfred Hitchcock - Psycho (1960)

I would classify most of Hitchcock as ‘thriller’ rather than horror, but Psycho is firmly psychological horror, and The Classic.

Stuart Gordon - Re-animator (1985)

I couldn’t really decide if I wanted to put this one. Especially because on a long drive my friend and we basically covered how this was really ripe for a remake because it’s flaws…did not age particularly well, especially re: gender and race. (But it could be so, so good. It could be an amazing commentary about consent and the use of marginalized bodies…but the original …is…not.) But I’m putting this on here because of body horror. They clearly hired dancers or choreographers to do the reanimated movements because they really lean into it and it’s great. It gets…heavily derailed at the end by an absolutely ridiculous gore climax and missing the opportunity to actually have a coherent storyline or a message of any kind…but they got the grotesque movements down.

Honorable Mentions: The Amityville Horror, The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, *sigh* Cannibal Holocaust (like…I don’t actually recommend anyone watch it. I’m glad I did, because it’s really important for how the ‘found footage’ genre developed, so it’s a piece of film history but like. Don’t actually watch it.), The House on Haunted Hill

“Random Others In Between”

Adrian Lyne - Jacob’s Ladder (1990)

You might recognize Jacob’s Ladder as the movie that more heavily inspired the first chapter of ‘dark underground//violent sky’ more than I had originally thought. I had originally been basing a lot of the tone and style on current trends in horror TV, but then I happened to watch Jacob’s Ladder while I was in the middle of writing the second half and was like…oh. Like, I knew I had been heavily influenced by Jacob’s Ladder and the ending, but I had forgotten about how the film differentiates between ‘reality’ and ‘dream’ - in that it doesn’t! And that was an effect I was specifically striving for when I was writing ‘dark underground’. It’s also just a really weird, trippy late-80s/early-90s movie set in New York when New York was still really dirty and that’s fun.

Hideo Nakata - Dark Water (2002)

This is my favorite Japanese horror film. I think it gets a little bit looked over in favor of some others (Ringu, Ju-on, Audition), but it’s my favorite. (Has a terrible American remake, so be sure to avoid that one. It comes up first when you google. -_-)

James Wan - The Conjuring (2013)

I did really like this first entry - the sequels are kind of aggressively meh.

Scott Derrickson - Sinister (2012)

THE DANGER IS IN THE VIEWING!

Honorable Mentions: Session 9, Se7en, The Ritual, It Follows, The Descent, The Hills Have Eyes (I just really like bright horror movies), The Exorcism of Emily Rose (for fun bonus pretension, you can also watch Requiem, and then when people ask you if you’ve seen The Exorcism of Emily Rose, you get to be like “Yeah, have you seen the German original?” though, technically, it’s that they’re both based off of the same true-story. it’s still fun to say), Hard Candy, Ils (Them), THE VVITCH (should only ever be pronounced ‘The Va-Vitch’ lol)

“The Parody Films”

[What is there to say? They’re great, so much fun.]

Joss Whedon - Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Remember back in 2012 when Avengers 1 came out, and then Cabin in the Woods came out, like, immediately afterwards, and we all loved Joss Whedon? We were so innocent back then.

Eli Craig - Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010)

This movie is so pure. I love how they both play into and subvert the rural hillbilly tropes with the two main characters. They just want a vacation home! These kids keep killing themselves on their property!

Honorable Mentions: Shaun of the Dead, I was googling to confirm the year of Tucker and Dale vs. Evil and I saw What We Do In The Shadows listed as horror paraody, but I would count that more as a Gothic mockumentary, but I listed it here because I love it so much.

“Documentaries”

Xavier Burgin - Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror (2019)

This movie was so interesting! Highly recommend. I think Shudder is planning on producing more of these documentaries, about marginalized groups in horror, and I am Here For It.

Honorable Mentions: Cropsey/Killer Legends, Best Worst Movie

I think I’ll stop here and maybe someday do a separate one for books. And maybe TV series, but I’m having a hard time teasing out the line between mystery and horror because of how popular and kind of unique Nordic Noir is right now. It’s just hard to draw the line for TV.

But I’ll end by summarizing reading thoughts (in a more disorganized manner):

-I have two separate ‘complete tales and poems’ editions of Edgar Allen Poe - one to look pretty and one to annotate.

-If you come for my girl Mary Shelley I will come @ you. Once a kind of asshole-y friend once was like ‘Frankenstein is terrible because it was written by a teenage girl’ and, I swear to God, I almost fought him right there in the bar. The Last Man is also great.

-I also almost forgot how much I loved Dracula. The Harkers especially. (I once tried to read League of Extraordinary Gentleman and gave up with a rage-headache 15 pages in because of what they did to Mina.) (Ah yes, let’s make her a “Strong Female Character ™” by having her divorce Jonathan and almost be raped in the first 15 pages.) (Couldn’t deal with it.) (I’m sure I would in general like that series but I just had too much attachment to Mina Harker to get over it.)

-I physically cannot get through Lovecraft. I can’t do it. I’ve tried so many times, I know how important it is but I just. Can’t. Don’t want to. Won’t. Sorry.

-A lot of adapted books I tend to prefer the books they were based on. Some are kind of obvious, like I Am Legend by Richard Matheson, which is a way, way better book than the movie. (They changed the ending which undercut the actual message.) But others are still decent movies, I just tend to prefer the book. Like, everyone always puts Let the Right One In on ‘essential horror’ lists, but I actually liked the book by John Ajvide Lindqvist a lot better.

-Similarly, you may have noticed I put no Stephen King movies on this list - there are a few I really like, but I think they work better as complements to the novels. Misery and the original Pet Sematary (haven’t seen the new one yet) are my two favorite movies-based-on-king. The Shining is visually stunning by character-wise, wildly disappointing, so point to the novel for this one. (King also hated the adaptation for what Kubrick did to Wendy.) My general King recommendations are: Carrie, Misery, The Shining, The Mist, Insomnia

I’m having a bit of an issue with how male-dominated this list is. It’s partially my problem that I’m working on correcting (I’m at the point where I’m actively trying not to read horror books by white men anymore) and partially a general problem in the industry. It’s hard to get into an industry that for a long time unquestioningly based itself on violence against women and other marginalized peoples’ bodies. -_-  But yeah, I have a list of contemporary horror novels by women that I’m working my way through, and I’m trying to catch up on some older staples like Shirley Jackson, Angela Carter, and Octavia Butler.

UPDATE: After I finished compiling this list, I googled ‘Horror movies directed by women’ and there are a couple that I would recommend, I think they’re just not as visible. (Did not realize they’d been directed by women until this Google.):

Mary Lambert - Pet Sematary (1989)

Karen Kusama - Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Mary Harron - American Psycho (2000)

Lynne Ramsay - We Need To Talk About Kevin (2011) (though I liked the book better)

This list was probably incomplete and I’ve probably forgotten a bunch of things I really like! It’s also only made up of things I’ve already seen/read (though it’s not comprehensive). If something’s not on here and you think it should be, lmk! It may be that I haven’t seen it yet and I’ll add it to my to-watch list. Always taking suggestions, especially for more horror (films or books) from underrepresented groups.

[itakesurveys]

Survey 277

What do you believe happens to us after death? hmmm... i guess i’ll pass and watch over my loved ones? or, maybe we all just turn into energy. if so, i’ll be a floating ball of positive energy and try and uplift as many people as possible. 

Have you ever cheated on someone? nope.

What are your plans for this weekend? just chill with the boy & pack a little. i’m moving soon! yay! 

Does the thought of growing old frighten you? yes............i turn 30 this coming year. #puke

What is the best movie you’ve ever seen? Titanic, Enough, The Danish Girl, Bridesmaids, Anastasia, Resident Evil. 

Have you ever hurt someone for your own entertainment? no. that’s dumb. 

What is your favorite song of all time? oh my..... (this is a great survey btw) hmm.. Fast Car by Tracy Chapman 

Has anyone you’ve known died on a holiday? no. that’s terrible. but i was super upset when i found out George Michael passed on Christmas few years back. 

If you could write a book, what would it be about? hmmmm... i use to work for a hair salon and it was like legit like the movie Devil Wears Prada. i could totally take that experience and make it into a great  movie/book. 

Do you think most people understand you? nah, probably not. who i am and who people think or want me to be are very different. i’m very low maintenance and chill and not competitive in the least bit. I feel like in this world of constantly trying to outshine the person next to us “more likes, more  money, happier, funnier”  i just can’t be bothered. comes off not as if i’m not interested but in reality i just want the basic things. lets hang out and just talk and chill with a cup of tea. life should be basic and easy. this dog eat dog world isn’t for me. ..... Jesus i’m such a Pisces and this rant has nothing to do with the question anymore. HA NEXT >> 

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I would love to change my lack of motivation. 

What are some lyrics that speak to your soul? hm. *thinking* 

Are you in love with anyone at the moment? yes, my boyfriend & i have been together for 10 years. 

Have you ever been in love with more than one person at the same time? nah. i don’t think that’s real. 

What is your favorite time of year? hmmm. fall . 

What is your ideal first date? ideal first date; (i’m going to pretend this is like a game show) ha, “Hi, my name is joshua and my idea of a perfect first date is... a guy picking me up at my house, he comes 5 minutes early. tells me i look pretty, takes me out to dinner, we date desert  home with us. we cuddle up, watch a movie.” 

What is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to you? hmmm.. not sure the sweetest thing of all time but this week this stuck out to me; i was at work and this older sweet asian woman came into my work. i helped assist her like i do any other customer and before she left she told me “ i just want to tell you that you are extremely sweet and kind and i want to thank you because this is my 3rd business i have came to today and you were the first to make me feel comfortable and didn’t talk down to me and all the previous places where rude to me because of my broken english or think i don’t know what i’m talking about. more people should be like you, thank you so much, god bless *shook my hand*” ---- it made me feel so special and made me realize how little things can make such a huge impact on people. :) 

Do you have any taboo fetishes or preferences? probs.

What is the thing you are most ashamed of? hmmm. 

What is the emotion you seem to feel most strongly? not that it’s good but when i get put down by someone it makes me a while to build up. not sure what that emotion is but it’s powerful and hard to explain. 

Do you think of yourself as a unique person? extremely. i don’t think i have much in common with many guys gay or straight. i’m too sensitive and gravitate toward woman friendships. 

What is a movie from childhood that you loved? i love, the little mermiad. 

Are you afraid of death? isn’t everyone afraid of the unknown? 

What are your top three biggest fears, actually? hmmm. i guess driving is one since i don’t drive, very strong powerful men freak me out.. it’s odd i get very uncomfortable around specific type of guys, and holding hands with my boyfriend in public. 

Do you have an accent of any kind? i don’t think i have one but to other people i might have a slight accent because i’m from the boston area. 

What do you want to be remembered for? being a good person, happy. 

What is your favorite number? 3. 

Do you have a favorite television show? If so, what is it? hmmm.. soo many. i watch too much tv. but i did love game of thrones. 

Are you currently sad about anything? not currently. 

What was your first job? i babysat all through high school and first job was at sears. 

And what job do you have now? i work for  a glass contracting company. i work at front desk. 

Have you ever changed your spiritual beliefs? i feel i’m constantly changing. so yes. 

What is your favorite alcoholic drink? i’m easy, vodka & soda with ALL THE LIMES. 

Do you ever talk to yourself? in the shower. 

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep in your adult life? dah. a lot. again i’m sensitive. (after this survey i don’t seem like a fun person haha) 

What do you think is the meanest thing you’ve ever said to someone? that i hate them. 

How do you celebrate your favorite holiday? with family & friends. your average get together :) 

Do you have a favorite book? If so, how many times have you read it? hmmm.. i don’t think i have one and i don’t read as much as i should. when i do read i only read like memoirs. 

Do you have any teachers from the past who inspired you? yeah like 2. 

Do you prefer sad or happy music? depends on mood. dah. 

Speaking of which, what is your favorite genre? pop. dah x 3456

What is your best talent? i’m good with social media shittt. lol i run like 6 peoples Facebook business pages ha. 

Have you ever wished you were from another country? i use to pretend i had a twin in London like Lindsay Lohan in the movie The Parent Trap. 

What are you thinking about currently? how my back hurts. 

What is the closest red thing to your body? i’m currently wearing a maroon hoodie. if that counts. 

What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable to speak about? hmmmm. family problems. i grew up you don’t talk about family matters with people. 

What is your favorite clothing store to shop at? marshalls. 

Do you have anything you are extremely particular about? hmmm. nah. 

Have you ever seen the ocean? dah, lol. as a kid i during the summer from the age of 8-17 my nana would bring me to the beach every Wednesday. 

What is your most fond memory of your current S.O, if applicable? a lot of them. dah. mostly about family. 

Do you find yourself confused often? yes. constant. 

What is your dream career? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. 

What was the best time of your life? hmmm.. i miss when things were easier.  Have you ever been on a cruise? never. 

Do you miss any of your exes? no no no. 

Who would you like to say something to? no one. i’m good. 

Are you religious? meh. 

Do you think you are attractive? when i try. 

How many people have you slept with? one. 

Do you consider yourself a catch? yes. 

Do you enjoy naps? i would sleep everyday all day if i could. 

What kind of sauce do you eat your chicken nuggets with? ALLL THE SAUCES. 

Are you happy? yeah. as happy as an average person can be. 

What do you think you could do to improve your life? many many things, my self confidence, i need to learn to not run from conflict. i tend to apologize just to avoid confidence. i shouldn’t have to be the one who always feels like they are wrong when deep down i don’t feel i am.