#OK IF THIS ONE POSTS I'LL DELETE THE PREVIOUS ONE WHEN IT POSTS

[okiankeno]

Ofc most people who think damien is a monster are under 25. Their view of morality is skewed. Also can you even explain how he was being passive agressive? Cuz i read all his tweets and dont see it. But i am a stupid autist so what do i know..

Ok, I got two of these asks so I'm going to answer from my POV what I'm seeing. First of all, a shot at my age is very mature for introducing your argument (this is sarcasm). I never said that Damien is a monster. I am not demonizing him. Damien is admittedly one of my favourites on Smosh, and I think as fans, we are allowed to identify when someone you are a fan of does something wrong. I stated in my previous reblog that how he handled his interactions with Zayna was poor. You are putting words in my mouth, but I digress. My long-winded explanation of Damien's interactions being passive-aggressive is under the cut.

I'm going to straight up pull the Google search of 'passive aggressive' here.

Expressing negative feelings indirectly instead of openly talking about them. There are multiple instances of it in the interactions with Zayna and others in my opinion. However, I feel that people have different takes on passive-aggressiveness, so feel free to share with me what you think being passive-aggressive looks like. The points I will describe below are my interpretations of situation.

1) I think the most abundant example of passive-aggressiveness is Damien blocking multiple accounts, escpecially Zayna after he had apologized. Blocking someone implies you do not want to hear or see someone's thoughts on your timeline, literally blocking them out (until you choose to unblock them). He is not open to communicating further with people or does not want to communicate with them at all. I understand how this can be seen as him looking out for himself, but generally, blocking is considered a negative action, thus the action is passive-aggressive. Damien blocked some people on Twitter who have not even interacted with Damien nor even said anything remotely negative about him. Here is one such example:

I call this passive-aggressiveness due to the lack of communication with Damien and the negative context of blocking multiple accounts. It is providing more tension and confusion to others without explaining anything. We see the result of this lack of communication with the Twitter user above as it leaves something to be explained, the other party wondering, "What did I do wrong?" This is especially upsetting in the case of Zayna as reaching an apology with someone should not result in another person blocking another. I will expand on this idea below.

2) In Damien's interactions with Zayna, the passive-aggressiveness is much worse. Anon, I want you to imagine you are in a situation where someone has apologized to you. An apology is reached when one party realizes they have done wrong and acknowledges that the other party is correct in some way. It is an agreement.

Here is an interaction chain between Zayna and Damien, after their initial confrontation. It appears they have reached a common ground or the agreement I aforentioned. Unfortunately, the original reaction from Damien and the original post that Zayna had requested Damien for an apology are deleted, and I do not have that screenshotted, so we will go with what evidence I have here.

First tweet with an apology, third sentence: "While I'll never understand looking to old content to somehow negate the present, I do apologize, plain and simple."

Here, his apology is mixed - there's tension. If he truly understands the need for an apology, why mention the quote I highlighted above? In an apology, would you appreciate it if the other party apologized, but stated that they don't quite understand why they are apologizing? No. I wouldn't be satisfied with that, and you shouldn't either if you are expecting an apology. He could have ended the apology with the first few sentences. To me, it feels like a half-hearted apology given his choice of words in his third and fourth sentences.

Compare the previous apology to the second image on the right. Damien agrees that he is in the wrong here and essentially will learn from his mistakes. This is an apology with no conflict or passive-aggressiveness. There are no conflicting ideas within this tweet, unlike the previous apology on the left.

By this point, it seems that Zayna and Damien have reached a common ground and the conversation is over. This changes with the next tweet Damien sends on the left image:

Here, Zayna is replying to the deleted tweet on the left. I think this, above all, is a good example of Damien being passive aggressive because:

3) it's a direct display of miscommunication, where Damien outlines his unmet expectations of the interaction post-apology. This tweet contains a critique towards Zayna "If that wasn't your goal [depicting Damien as a bad person], your methods confuse me tbh" followed by a positive end note that comes off as strange given his opening statement. It feels like a backhanded compliment. Zayna got what she requested (an apology) but Damien is questioning her methods and even requesting something from her (Damien implies he wants tweets to be deleted after apologizing). And then he wishes her family and herself well? Do you see how this doesn't quite add up?

This could be genuine confusion on Damien's side, but given that both parties before this appeared to have reached a consensus of some sort, I don't think this is the case. Damien prolongs the conflict; he continues the conversation with Zayna, having expectations for what he envisions the resolution of the argument to be. This was not communicated to Zayna as demonstrated in her reply and she is rightfully confused. This is very weird – why is Damien, who has apologized, now provoking Zayna again if the conversation has ended? If Damien wanted to resolve this more directly, he could have also reached out in direct messages rather than continuing this publicly on Twitter just as he states in his tweet.

4) this is more about the dramatic irony of the situation, but I think it is also Damien being passive-aggressive – the 19k followers comment. This really puzzled me. Damien pointing out the follower count of Zayna and stating that she is depicting him as a bad person is exactly what Damien is doing as well by continuing the conversation in the way he did. He adds fuel back to the fire implying this conversation is not over as Zayna did not resolve his apology (... but shouldn't he take responsibility for this issue if he is apologizing for it?) to his liking. Damien has 266k followers on Twitter as of the last time I checked, and (I want to believe this) unknowingly has depicted Zayna in the wrong by exposing his followers to this. Additionally, In a previous tweet, Damien said he would learn from reacting in frustration. I think this again is him doing exactly that, reacting in frustration with this tweet but then deleting the tweet after. His actions are backtracking upon himself.

Now, to address something else but on the same topic: I'm not sure if you are aware, but Zayna has said she received death threats from Damien / Smosh fans. See below.

I bring this up because you mentioned that my view of morality is skewed. At what point in any of the arguments in this post or what I reblogged, have I earned the title of broken moral compass? Again, I have not once stated he is a monster in my posts. This is you interpreting my words, Anon.

I am trying to defend my opinion on how I see that Damien's interactions with Zayna have been handled poorly and that he was passive-aggressive, and it has resulted in this – death threats and a whole lot of controversy on multiple social media platforms. There's a lot of collateral damage that has been done within the Smosh community.

If death threats and Damien needing to take a Twitter break from an this interaction are not a great indication of a situation spiraling out of control as a result of Damien's responses, I'm not sure what else I can tell you, Anon. I hope I have made myself clear.

As a side note, I did not appreciate you coming into my asks, and insulting me without providing any arguments to your cause. If you continue to speak to me in the same manner, come off anon and let me block you (or vice-versa, block me). We will not see eye to eye with each other and never will if we cannot present our words without malice. It will be beneficial for both of us to not aggravate each other.

Before I end my answer, I want to reiterate that I do like Damien (personally less now given the situation at hand, but I digress), and I think you and I share this opinion at least. You are allowed to like something and be disappointed in it in tandem. I want him to come out of his break with a good answer for his actions. I hope he comes out of his Twitter detox with a clear mind and learns from this experience.

Anon(s) that sent this in, I hope that this answers your questions.

[rottinnymph]

for absolutely no reason have this alternate sketch version of my cwilbur boobie drawing, instead of a croptop i just plop a bra over him and gave him kiss marks??? for some reason???? oh and he's also hairy deal with it :3

and some unseen lmanbur and cschlatt sketches bc i don't think i'll finish these

[jesterwriting]

(for that timeloop post,, uhm this relates to the whole body horror thing ((not too much just a brief mention)) so if rn u don't wanna see that SCROLL AWAY!!! OR DELETE ME!! OK disclaimer ends here)

oh man but what if Law did say room anyway and there were impossible scars on your insides... like littered everywhere, they're not fresh but old, almost phantoms that make no sense, because if they were real you would've died. how would he react to that? maybe not when he noticed them crying but after weeks or months, dunno, where they keep skipping his more thorough check-ups (where he uses his devil fruit) since they're anxious about the pains? and think that somehow there are signs of their previous deaths and the mention of them makes it hurt more and more and they just can't do it. but they can't bring themselves to say it because who could possibly believe them? if Law doesn't, it would just feel even worse, won't it? even if they understand his point of view. maybe they even die in front of him and it gets harder to just hold all of that in,,, oh boy. if you think about continuing your oneshot i'll eat it like a starving animal!

pairing: law x gn!reader

contents: slight body horror, slight gore, timeloops, suicide done to restart the loop, hurt/comfort, happy ending,

word count: 1.6k words

note: OHHHHH I LOVED THIS IDEA OH MY GOD. absolutely so smart. anon your mind is huge and i had so much fun doing this request. <33 i really hope you enjoy :33

playlist: caribou - tanya tagaq

a sister fic to this

This had never happened before. You had experienced hundreds of loops, maybe even thousands, and this was the first time Law saw fit to scan you with his Devil Fruit.

Maybe you were getting sloppy. You had a strong immune system so you never got sick, and the first time Law scanned you for your general checkup upon joining the crew, there was nothing of note. You wondered what changed, as if you hadn’t died more times since you joined his crew than you had in your entire life. Maybe it was because the more you suffered, the more reckless you became, throwing yourself into the fray with little regard for yourself. You could take a bullet for your crewmates, so you would. It was as simple as that.

There was a first time for everything, you supposed. A first death, a first breath, a first kill; there were uncountable firsts that one could experience, and you had experienced most of them.

Not this one, though.

You had tried to avoid it for as long as possible. Your captain was a man who carried burdens, ones almost as heavy as the ones on your shoulders. If he knew how many times he failed you — or how many times you failed him — you knew he would take all the blame for himself. As if you hadn’t been the one lying, and fighting, and dying over the course of countless lifetimes.

Law blinked a few times before his brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed. You fidgeted under his stare. If his reaction was anything to go by, he found something horribly wrong with you. While you had experienced slow deaths before, you had never experienced what it felt like to waste away from disease. Maybe you’d find out this loop, you thought, trying to feel nonchalant about the idea and not like you were about to throw up.

“Um. What’s wrong,” You tried.

Law shushed you, the blue glow from his room still surrounding you. You bit your tongue, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt to try and take your mind off of whatever he could have found.

“This can’t be right,” He muttered, one hand cradling his chin. He pointed to your chest. “There’s a scar inside of you, it looks like a puncture wound through your lungs. When did that happen?”

Three loops ago when you fell off a building and onto some rebar. That was a particularly awful death. The last thing you remembered before everything went black was Law’s panicked expression as he tried to put you back together again. There was terror in his eyes. You tried not to think about that part.

“And here,” Law continued, pointing to your abdomen. “There’s a scar running across the length of your stomach. It almost looks as if you were previously disemboweled.”

You had been. Multiple times. It was a common and very disturbing loop ender that you tried to avoid if you could. Watching your organs fall out of you in a steaming heap was never something you liked to experience, but for some reason, your opponents kept aiming for the gut. You wished they’d aim for the heart or the head more often. At least then it’d be quick.

He didn’t stop there, jaw falling open when he stared directly where your heart was. “When were you stabbed, Y/N-ya, this looks recent.” Law blinked a few times before realization dawned on his features. His eyes shot to your face, expression going from open to unreadable in seconds. “How did you survive without my intervention?”

Your mouth was dry. How were you supposed to respond? There was no way you could tell him that you had died on his watch more times than you could count. Law didn’t deserve that. Your captain was a good man, one you loved admired far too much to allow this to weigh him down. He would take your failures to heart, completely discounting the amount of times that he had saved you from having to start anew.

You must have been quiet for too long because Law was speaking again. “Answer me.”

“It’s from a long time ago,” You said.

That was a lie. It was from the previous loop. A quick death by your own hand over the cold corpse of your captain. If Law didn’t survive, there was no point in continuing, and if there was one thing you had grown accustomed to, it was taking your own life after one loss too many. You knew how to make it quick, no suffering. So with a precise hand, you drove your knife into your chest and let the timeline begin anew.

When you saw Law again, whole and alive, you vomited. You were under the impression that he believed that you simply ate some bad seafood, but from the concern that was slowly etching its way onto his features, you weren’t so sure of that now.

“Don’t lie to me.” Law’s eyes flashed, barely contained frustration needling at the corners of him. “None of this makes any sense, half of these injuries should have killed you. The other half would have needed to be treated.”

The truth sat on the tip of your tongue. You felt selfish and needlessly cruel for your desire to tell Law what was really happening. Your eyes burned, and their glassy sheen didn’t go unnoticed. Law handed you a tissue, expression softening.

“I- um.” You hated how your voice cracked. It had been a long time since you told someone about your Devil Fruit. You always died, and they always forgot. For a long time, you thought it was better that way, carrying this weight on your own. The way Law looked at you, though, it made you want to pour your soul out to him. Every pain, every loss, every death lain at his feet, and for once, you could stand unburdened. “It’d be wrong of me to tell you.”

Law’s eyebrows knit together. “Now you’re being stupid.”

“No, I’m not. You’ll regret asking once you know. Don’t pretend like you don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, you don’t deserve my troubles on top of that. It’s better for both of us if you just forget what you saw.”

With that, you stood and made to brush past Law and out of the room. He grabbed you by the shoulder, not allowing you to go any farther. Though his grip was firm, it didn’t hurt. If you really wanted to, you could wrench yourself away from him.

“You’re trembling.”

Your lower lip wobbled, your resolve ebbing away by the second. “It’s complicated.”

“So tell me.” Law’s lips twitched upwards ever so slightly. “Doctor’s orders.”

You let out a small huff. He didn’t deserve this, but there would always be another loop. This current one hadn’t been going so well, and by your estimation, it would take at least three more before you managed to reach your next checkpoint. It wouldn’t hurt to tell Law what he inevitably wouldn’t remember. You steadied yourself with a deep breath and turned to face him, his eyes met yours with a mix of concern and exasperation.

“It’s my Devil Fruit,” You started. Law leaned back on his heels and crossed his arms, attention solely on you. Your heart thundered in your chest. “I’ve died so many times.” Without your permission, your breath hitched. Law’s hand encircled your own with a small squeeze, encouraging you to continue. “It, um, brings me back, I guess. I’ll die, and then wake up in the bunkhouse days earlier, and I’ll be the only one who remembers what happened. All those scars you saw were what killed me in a previous loop.”

He was silent while he chewed on his words.

“How many times have you died since you joined my crew,” Law finally asked.

Your hand was still in his and you gave it a squeeze. “That’s not fair. I know what you’re doing and I won’t let you do it.”

Law’s shoulders slumped as he brought his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I believe you. It explains a lot. I noticed you cry in your sleep sometimes.”

“You watch me sleep?” The tips of Law’s ears were tinged pink while you laughed.

“I was worried so I checked on you.” With a sigh, he began to lead you out of the clinic to his office. “Come on, you’re telling me everything you can remember. We’re going to come up with a plan.”

Humoring him, you followed close on his heels. It didn’t matter how long or how hard you planned, there was no accounting for the unpredictability of the universe. This comfort wouldn’t last long. Soon, you would be dead again and the cycle would start anew. That didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy sharing a space with your captain, listening to him meticulously craft tactics to keep you, and everyone else, alive.

It wasn’t until four days later you found yourself breathing, though covered head to toe in blood, with the rest of the crew. Everyone was safe and sound, and Law wouldn’t stop looking at you with a smirk on his face. When you found yourself next to him, he bumped his shoulder against yours.

“I told you my plan would work.”

Just like that, for the first time in your life, you were no longer alone.

[kanmom51]

JK 28 July live

I'm exhausted. Can't seem to catch up with the speed JK's doing these lives. And every single one is louder than the one before it.

So, this is me posting about the live on the 28th, all while I haven't yet for the previous live, and just after he had his latest one.

But I guess here it goes, cause better late than never.

So the 28th live. Well, truthfully it was 3 lives.

1st he ended after close to 3 minutes because of the angle of the camera.

2nd was lagging and he eventually turned off after around 4 minutes.

He did manage to tell us the ice creams he likes concluding he likes savory.

He likes savory and JM likes rabbit spit. Ok then.

Don't blame me for being like this. It's JK's fault. Well, actually, it's JK and JM's fault, cause man did they come on hard in that next third live that followed.

Peeps, this one was a doozy.

This short live, and even shorter Jikook interaction (started pretty much at the start of the live and ended at around the 15 min. mark) is up there as one of the best Jikook lives. And JM wasn't even in the room for it, lol.

If you would have asked me a couple of months back if this day was in the making pre-enlistment I would have said no. But hell, something has shifted in the past few weeks. Like really SHIFTED. When I compared Jikook's Silver day dinner in NY to Tainni's Parris stroll, I knew what I was talking about.

And now, I take you a Taenni stroll and raise you a frigging JK half naked in bed live just having a flirt fest with his bf.

Subs are out, I suggest you all go watch it. It's short and easy to follow and JK makes sure to read out JM's comments and he's flirty and cheeky and totally informal and forgets what the word honorific even is. The man is in his element.

And JK, he's pushing. Pushing hard for JM to do the live together. Again and again. Just showing us in real life what it means to pursue the person you want to be with, you know the "love of my life", whom he wants to go live with him. And JM, well JM he's being flirty and playful, and when he gets a little too flirty, he catches himself and deletes his comment, lol. But JK he catches on and he continues.

And after sending JK a photo to show him he's not in a state for a live, a photo that JK doesn't get to see just yet, JK is disappointed but accepts it. And then JM dips and tells JK to spend some time with us, cause when they are at it, it's only the two of them, lol.

That's it in an essence, but there is so much to unpack from that, I don't even know where to start.

Maybe not with Jikook. Maybe I'll start with JK, our super masculine manly man calling his new piercings pretty.

Ok then. Now that I got that out of the way how about we talk about JK showing us outright that their relationship, it ain't no usual hyung dongsaeng relationship. No way, no how.

In the more or less 15 minutes that JM stays on the live and the conversation between them JK mentions JM's name 18 times, out of which twice adding the ssi and only 7 times adding the hyung. And not only does he 'forget' the hyung, at some point in the live he calls JM by his name and uses his flirty Jimin-ssi, but he also dares to speak to him saying his name with an authoritive commanding tone. JK spares absolutely nothing to get JM do that live with him.

Also, out of those 7 times JK says JM hyung most are when he's talking about him and not to him?

Do we actually remember who the hyung is there? Cause it feels like those two have already forgotten it, lol.

JK tried it all. He tries asking then flirting, then going assertive.

JK tries the logical path - we are both bored.

He tries batting his eyelashes and he even goes down the emotional manipulation path with a little guilt tripping.

He even goes aego on JM. That lip pucker was not for us. Good cover up (or not so) with the "I'm checking out my face and need to lose weight".

He literally tries it all, lol.

JM, ma man, you are a much stronger soldier than I would ever be, lol.

Thing is this.

JM knows he has to be strong here, when he has JK at arms length, cause he also knows that the second JK is near him, that's when he will lose his composure.

I kind of think it goes back to JM once admitting to us that he couldn't do a live alone with JK because they would get lost in each other and forget we are there.

Well hell yeah, that's exactly what we're banking on. Let the Jikook live begin.

Maybe, just maybe if the live is pre-planned and on neutral ground. Maybe then he can manage to have some kind of control. But like this? Just out of nowhere? No preparation?

JM is a strong soldier, but when it comes to JK he loses that battle. And he knows it, lol. So that would be a big fat no on an unplanned live with JK for him, lol.

And let's go right back to the flirting that was going on right in front of our faces. Because I mean, how can we not? How can we not keep talking about this? This was friggin' wild.

JM with his "I can handle it", his "I'm scared of you" and "he's going to hit me", and should we mention his "I'm not easy" (will get to that one in a sec)? Yo, and what's up with that pic he sent him mid live and telling us all he just did?

And JK, omg JK, with his satoori and informal and just that tone. That tone he was using with JM. Because all those words, and the dropping of the hyung they are only a part of it. It's the tone. The bloody to die for tone he was using talking to JM.

And his reactions to JM's comments.

JK's reaction to JM's "I can handle it", omg, that giggle and the smile after saying it again...

See I can't help but wonder... was that JK giggling because:

a. he knows jm can handle it as he's quite familiar with his chesties besties; or

b. he knows that JM's lying cause he most definitley cannot handle his chesties besties.

But seriously, can JM handle it? Can he really? Handle his chestie besties??? Perhaps from afar off camera, lol. And that is just another reason why JM thought it better to not have that live.

Food for thought. LOL.

We were literally third wheeling the whole time.

Even DT Parker could see it.

He sees some of it, but unwilling to go the full mile.

And that's also why JM decided he had to put an end to it, dip and let JK have a little time with army (which was another 10 min. of which 5 were him telling his goodbyes), lol.

Oh, a few more points.

What about "I'm not easy", ok, let's talk about that one for a minute.

Ok, so it's not 100% sure who deleted that one. My money is on JM. He knew EXACTLY what it looked/sounded like, and realised that perhaps this was him taking it once step too far, lol. I doubt it was someone in the company that deleted it, because if you go to the live and press live chat you can actually see that both the comments that were deleted are still there, lol. So, seems to me that this wasn't a company move and more a JM one. Because adding this to the tone, the lack of honorifics, the totally thoroughly flirty conversation between the two of them, this could be a little bit of a deal sealer, and maybe JM thought it to be just a little too much.

Did we talk about the song JK sings right after JM joins the live?

JM, ma man, you are a much stronger soldier than I would ever be, lol.

Thing is this, again, JM knows he has to be strong here, when he has JK at arms length, cause he also knows that the second JK is near him, that's when he will lose his composure.

And a little more I noticed (I don't really think it's so little though):

JM, of course, knows JK's schedule.

I know there are a few translations on this, but the official ones are pretty clear, and they also align with what JK told us in the first live, having to wake up at 1:20 pm. And there is also this:

JM was calling JK - Jung kook. Which is not something he's done that often. And it feels like this might also have to do with JK's change to his Weverse account, changing his name to Jung kook, perhaps wanting to have a more mature/adult image.

Oh, and how is this not exploding on SM?????

Like wtf? How has this not been all over the place?

The ease in which this was said. He'll grab his toiletries and go over to do the live? Shower at JM's before? Shower at his after? Do the live, shower and sleep over? Whichever of these you go with it's god damn fucking loud.

The man lives what? A few minutes away from JM? And yet he needs to pop over to his place to shower? And again, how naturally this was said, kind of like it's A THING they just do. Like, let's get real here. First of all, yeah, it's a thing they do, and he just told us that live!!! and second, I'm not sure he needs a full bag of toiletries. He probably has most of them already there on his side of the sink, or if there is a his and his sink, then next to HIS sink.

Also, and this is a question I'm still asking myself - did JK say this intentionally? Was this a slip of the tongue or was there intent. Either or is loud, but intent means he wanted us to know this, while slip of the tongue was that he just let himself act naturally with JM, which included that "I'll come shower at yours".

And JM? I didn't hear a no to the "I'll come over and shower at yours". Just a not now to the live. So...

Ok, enough is enough.

We still had another what? 10 min. approx. after JM left.

Did anything really happen in those 10 min.? Nah.

Well, one thing maybe. JK said he'll try to go live during his breaks while recording, cause he's sad he only got to perform in front of 280 army only.

Which he did.

And me writing these lines after watching that live just sitting here and laughing my head off. Because BURN BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, that's it.

We might not have gotten an actual Jikook in same room and same frame live, but we sure did get a JIKOOK live. And it was as loud as (minors hands over your ears) FUCK!!!!

And everything I mentioned there, my friends, is why it's ALWAYS better to watch the live and not rely solely on the translation accounts. Translations accounts are great, but they don't convey the tone.

Oh, and did we see this?

Cause what the hell?🤣🤣

And for funsies:

Now JK has to stop. Just stop. Like take a couple of days off, go be with JM for a little and let me catch my breath goddamnit.🤣🤣

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 13

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"And when are you going back to work?"

"Next week."

"Why so soon?"

"I'm just following the doctor's orders, mum" I sigh.

"But which doctor? The one from the team? What does he know about broken ribs? Muscles and feet, ok. But ribs?"

"It was a doctor at the hospital, mum. One specialized on this type of injuries."

"Oh… good. Good. Anyway, when are you introducing me to Ferran?"

"Mum…" I sigh again.

"It's your first boyfriend since Marc, Val. I'm excited!"

"He isn't my boyfriend, mum. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"And how many times do I have to tell you that I don't believe you?" she says over the phone. "A friend doesn't do what he did."

"Whatever."

"So, when are you coming? Maybe on Sunday for lunch?"

"Mum!"

"What?"

"I'm not going to introduce you to Ferran because he isn't my boyfriend, so stop asking!"

"There is no need to yell at me, Valeria."

"Then stop it! I need everyone to stop!" I say, trying not to cry. Again. Because the past couple of weeks have been… too much. 

As expected, people had filmed what had happened at the Camp Nou, the video becoming viral not long after the game was over, the news opening with it the next day and showing my face to everyone.

Barcelona and Real Madrid had released statements condemning what had happened, Barça saying that they had identified the man and forbade him to set foot in the Camp Nou ever again. They had also contacted me to apologize and say that if I wanted to report him, I had their legal team at my disposal. 

Real Madrid also reached out to me, saying that I was invited to any game I wanted at the Bernabéu, that they would pay for the tickets, the trip and my stay. And to be honest, leaving the city and spending a weekend away sounded like the perfect plan right now. 

Because if the video of the man harassing me had made it to the news, the one of Ferran jumping the billboards and carrying me away had become viral all around the world. 

The views on the accounts that had posted it were crazy, same with the number of comments and likes. According to Marina, people were already writing fanfic about what had happened, some even shipping us. Though like my mother, most believed Ferran and I were already dating. 

On the video you could see him calling my name, pushing people to get to me, making it clear that he knew me. And then there was my face. 

I was looking at him as if he was an angel sent from the heavens, my knight in shiny armour, my arms wrapping around his neck as if my life depended on it. Which it kind of did.

A couple of days after the incident, I started to get lots of follow requests on Instagram. Someone who knew me had created an account just to reply to all the comments asking who I was by tagging me on them, and it had blown up. Thankfully, Marina had quickly seen it and helped me put all my social media private and delete anything that could lead them to me and to know more about who I was. Emma told me that there was a lot of gossip at the school too, all the parents talking about me, and I can already see the teenagers camping outside just to see me in person and God knows what else. Which has made me think about me and Pedri. 

He is way more famous than Ferran and has more fans than him. If things are this crazy now, what could happen if our relationship got more serious and someone found out that we were together? What would they say about me? Not only online, but at work and my friends and family too. My mum had already mentioned that Ferran was young and…

"Valeria! Valeria, are you listening to me!"

"What?"

"Val… Are you ok?" 

"I'm fine."

"Then why can I hear that you are about to cry?"

"I'm not."

"Val, I'm your mother. I know you. What is it, darling?"

"Nothing, mum."

"Valeria…"

"I need to go, mum. There is… something I need to do."

"Something like what?" 

Like balling my eyes out, for example.

"Work. I'll call you tomorrow, ok? Bye" I say before hanging up, not being able to contain my tears anymore.

I need to disconnect. To forget about everything that has happened and that is happening. I need to even forget who I am. And only one person is capable of doing that.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Val? What are you…"

"Shut up and kiss me" I say, throwing myself at Pedri and kissing him, barely giving him time to close the door before I push him against the wall. 

"Val…" 

"No talking" I say before starting to kiss his neck, my hands moving under his shirt, pulling it up.

"But…"

"Arms."

"What?"

"Lift your arms, Pedri. You are wearing too many clothes."

"Val…"

"Urgh, shut up" I say, kissing him again, one of my hands moving down and inside his joggers.

"Val, don't" he says, stopping me. 

"What?"

"Don't."

"Since when you don't want to have sex?"

"Since you only want to do it because something is upsetting you and you want to forget."

"I'm fine" I say with a nervous laugh.

"No, you aren't fine, Valeria. Talk to me."

"I'm fine" I repeat.

"Val" he says, putting his hand under my chin and making me look him in the eyes. "Talk to me."

"I can't" I whisper.

"Yes, you can. You know you can tell me anything, that you can trust me. I'm here for you, Val. Please talk to me."

"I… I can't."

"Of course you can."

"No, I mean… I can't deal with this anymore. With people constantly asking me if I'm ok and reminding me of that night, with the gossip, with my mother annoying me… I just want to move on and forget, to go back to my life. But they don't let me." 

"And you thought fucking me would help because I make you forget?" 

"Yes… No…"

"Yes or not, Val?" he chuckles.

"Yes, I wanted to fuck you because you literally manage to leave my mind blank when we are doing it. I just feel, there are no thoughts. It's just us and that's what I need right now. Us. But when I tell you that you make me forget, it's more than that."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know how to explain it, but just hanging out with you, watching a movie or laying on the sofa eating something together and talking about the most stupid things, makes me forget about all the noise around me. It's like… When I am with you… You make me feel like me. With you I can be who I really am. Not the disgrace of my family, the teacher, the girl who got harassed at the Camp Nou, the girl who supposedly is dating Ferran. With you I'm just Val. And I can't remember the last time I was able to feel like that with someone. Or if I've ever felt that free with anyone. And… Why are you laughing? I just opened myself up to you and you are laughing?"

"I'm laughing because you've described exactly how I've felt since the moment I met you, Val" Pedri says.

"What?"

"You've always seen me as me, as Pedri the kid/teenager/young man, not Pedri the football star."

"Football star?" 

"See? You teasing me like that is something that none of the other girls I've been with ever did because that's what they liked, the only side of me they saw. But you see beyond that. You see me, the real me, and this honesty with no filter is what I need in my life. Because it keeps me grounded, it helps me not forget who I really am and what truly matters. And you do that, Val. You don't let me forget who I am by letting me be who I truly am." 

"And you are making me remember who I truly am by making me forget about everything else."

"It's a bit of a tongue twister but we understand it" he smiles. 

"Yes" I smile back. "But I just… I just wish it could be like that right now. You and I. I wish… I wish we could disappear and be just Val and Pedri."

"Maybe we can."

"How?" 

"Leave that to me. For now go home and look for some summery clothes, nothing fancy. And a bikini. And sunscreen."

"You are not making any sense, Pedri" I laugh. 

"Do you trust me?" 

"I do."

"Then go back home, do as I say, and leave the rest to me. I'll call you in a few hours, ok?"

"Ok."

"It's gonna be just you and I, Val. Us" he says before kissing me. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I can't believe you managed to do this" I say while we wait for the plane to take off.

"You wanted to disappear, and your wishes are my commands" Pedri says, kissing my head. 

"We also got a bit lucky, didn't we?"

"You choosing to have a breakdown the weekend I was out because of yellow cards was very helpful, yes."

"Idiot" I say, hitting his chest. "But thank you. I seriously needed this."

"You're welcome. Though I think I also needed it."

"To disconnect?" I ask, moving to look at him.

"Seeing everyone talk about Ferran dating my girl and how amazing he was when he rescued her isn't a nice feeling, to be honest."

"Your girl?" I laugh.

"I mean… How am I supposed to call you? We've never discussed it."

"I like not having a label or whatever you call it. We know we like each other and are fine like that, aren't we?"

"Yeah… I guess" he shrugs.

"Pedri, do you want me to be your girlfriend?" I ask, arching an eyebrow.

"I don't know…" he says, his cheeks turning bright red. "Do you want to? Are you ready for that?"

"I'm not sure… yet."

"Yet?"

"Let's focus on this trip first. We are gonna spend a whole weekend together away from home just the two of us, and maybe by the end of it you've annoyed me so much that I don't want to see you ever again."

"Or maybe you have annoyed me" he smirks.

"We'll see" I smile, resting my head on his chest again. 

"Though you were the first who said that I was yours, you know? Your annoying kid/teenager/young man if I remember well."

"Yes, annoying. You said it yourself" I say. But an annoying I like very much.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"This place is beautiful, Pedri."

"Do you like it?" he says, hugging me from behind.

"I love it" I smile.

Tenerife. His surprise had been to take me to his hometown for the weekend, to a house in a small town near the beach where no one will bother us, where we can be us and not care about anything else. And it is perfect.

"And I love that you love it" he says, kissing my cheek and making me giggle.

"How did you find this place?"

"Through someone my parents know. I was looking for a house where I could relax and not worry about people following me around or giving a shit about who I was, and they mentioned this town and this house."

"So no one here knows you are Pedri, the football star?" I tease him.

"They do, but they don't care" he shrugs.

"How many girls have you brought here?"

"Just one. You" he says, kissing my shoulder.

"Is this one of your secret places too?" I ask, moving on his arms until I'm facing him, my hands resting on his chest.

"Yep."

"And you've brought me to it. Like happened with the rooftop or the beach."

"Yep" he repeats.

"Why?"

"Do you really have to ask why?" he chuckles, caressing my cheek.

"I'm special" I say with a shy smile.

"The most special girl I've ever met."

"And you've met a lot of girls, haven't you?" 

"A few, yes."

"A few" I laugh.

"Hey, what are you implying? That I am some sort of Casanova?"

"More like a slutty Casanova" I smirk.

"Valeria, Valeria, Valeria…" he says, pulling me closer.

"Pedro, Pedro, Pedro" I giggle, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"What am I going to do with you?"

"Kissing me sounds like a great idea."

"And after that?" 

"More kissing."

"And after that?" he says, his lips brushing against mine.

"I don't know. We have a whole weekend together to find out." 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"And… I win again."

"That's impossible."

"Sorry" I smile.

"You have to be cheating."

"I'm not cheating, Pedri."

"Then how do you explain winning the five rounds of Uno we've played?"

"I'm better than you" I shrug.

"Nah, you are cheating. Where are you hiding the cards?"

"I'm not hiding anything!"

"Yes, you are" he says, slowly moving towards me.

"Pedri, I'm not. And where would I hide them? I'm wearing a bikini!"

"And?"

"There is no place to hide cards on something so small" I laugh.

"I don't believe you."

"And I don't care."

"I'm gonna have to check for myself" he smirks.

"Pedri…" 

"Yes?" he says, his face now very close to mine.

"We are at the beach."

"And?"

"We are not going to have sex on a public beach."

"That isn't what I was thinking about."

"And I'm the Queen" I snort.

"You are the queen of my heart."

"And now he goes all cheesy" I laugh again.

"Don't you like it?"

"You know I don't do cheesy."

"Then what do you do?" he says, the way he is looking at me making me blush. 

"I… I…"

"You what?"

"I… I need to go home."

"What?"

"I need to go home so you can take off this bikini and do unspeakable things to me."

"And what if I don't want to?" he smirks.

"Then I'll do it myself" I say, somehow managing to move away from him and get up from my towel. 

"You can't do to yourself what I can do to you."

"Watch me."

"Is that an invitation?" he asks, now smirking and lifting one of his perfect eyebrows at the same time. 

"Maybe" I shrug, picking up my dress and my bag and starting to walk.

"Val, wait." 

"I can't, I'm sorry. Got something to do."

"Wait for me, Val" Pedri says while picking up all his things.

"I'm too horny, I can't wait."

"Val!"

"Sorry!" I say before I start running.

"Val! Valeria!" he calls after me while I just run.

"C'mon, Pedro! You are a professional athlete!" I laugh.

"I'm wearing flip flops! What if I injure myself?" 

"Then good for my team!" 

"You evil woman!"

"Sorry" I laugh again. "Oh, fuck" I say when I make it to the door.

"Looking for this?" Pedri says behind me, the key of the house in his hand.

"Give me that."

"Nope" he says, hiding it behind him.

"Pedri…"

"No" he grins.

"Give me the key, c'mon" I say, trying to reach for it.

"You tease me, I tease you" he smiles.

"Will you give it to me if I say sorry?"

"Umm… no."

"Oh, c'mon!" I complain.

"I'm sorry, Val" he says, moving past me and opening the door.

"Pedri!" I say when he closes it in my face, not allowing me to go inside. "Let me in!"

"Are you still horny?"

"I'm pissed!"

"And horny?" 

"Open the fucking door, Pedri!"

"Ok, fine" he sighs, finally opening it and letting me in. "We are so lucky we don't have neighbours… Imagine what they would think."

"Fuck you."

"No, I am going to fuck you" he says as he hugs me from behind, one of his hands moving down on me. "And when I'm done, you'll be thankful we don't have neighbours." 

"Sure" I reply, my voice almost a whisper. 

"You wanted me to do unspeakable things to you, and that's what I am going to do. We have to make the most of our time here" he says before biting my earlobe, his fingers now inside my bikini bottom. "We have to enjoy our time together, alone, just the two of us."

"Pedri" I gasp when his fingers touch me, my knees already feeling weak. 

"It's just the two of us, Val. Just you and I" he whispers against my neck before kissing that spot he knows drives me crazy, that feeling mixed with the one of his fingers touching me making me moan. Loudly. 

So lucky we don't have neighbours indeed…

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

I'd just like to point out again that ART REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY CLOSED, ok? I started them when I had plenty free time, which now I don't, because I'm back at my teaching job. Even if it's part time, being a teacher is EXHAUSTING. I'm barely pulling through and I'm severely sleepy most of the time when I'm not teaching, not to mention I still got commissions to draw for and I had to pause working on all of them as well.

The recent art requests I posted were drawn little by little for several days, they were requested when I was still open for requests. There's still a few more to go, it'll take some time. I'm not gonna delete the new asks for art requests I got this week, I'll take them on, but only after I'm done with the previous ones. Be ready to only get them done like in a month or two, sorry for that 😅

[bugbuoyx]

Hi, you said you were open to any top surgery question so here i go with a weird one : based on your expérience do you think it's doable to travel alone by bus or train with you know a bag and all like 2/3 days post surgery ? (I'll ask my surgeon anyway when i'll see/choose them dw) but basically my problem is that there aren't a lot of surgeons in my country who are ok with performing surgery without a letter from a therapist and i don't want to see one (bad previous expériences) so it let me with a list of 4 surgeons in the whole country and none are near and while i'll be able to not live alone for the recovery i don't think any member of my transphobic family will be ok with driving minimum 4/5 hours to come get me after surgery...... so if you answer that's literaly impossible i'll have to consider that too and already start saving for a driver or find a squat i can stay in until i recovered enough or something 😅

From my experience, absolutely not. Especially directly after the surgery you are just fucked up. I vaguely remember being helped into a wheelchair and then into my friends car but I actually don't remember getting out of the car and into bed lol. I also spent the next 3 days mostly sleeping. The med cocktail they give you just makes it extremely dangerous to be in a vulnerable position on your own, such as a bus and like genuinely a stiff wind could blow you over. I remember we went to a bookstore and I just waddled around lol. After about a week you'll be much better but there is a reason why they recommend 3 weeks minimum before you do anything.

The only advice I can give is to look and see if you can find a therapist who is willing to write you a letter for the surgery. It may be different in other places but here in the US it is possible to find therapists who only require a single appointment and that is just to get your name and info to put into the letter. You can try asking around, the worst they can say is no (which sucks) but if you do it through email you can just delete it and pretend it never happened so yknow.

Also I do not have experience with this as I was able to stay with my best friend, but if you can find LGBT+ groups in the area you plan to be in, there may be someone willing to help you! I recall a story where someone was cared for by a lesbian couple they didn't really know. Just be careful and vet whoever you find. Again, you will be *very* vulnerable especially the first few days.

[dogtoling]

Do you ever get tired, or annoyed, of these questions? Because I can sit here and come up with more questions all day, and watch you answer them. I can slow down, or stop if you like. Just want to know if this is bugging you.

Besides Splatoon, any other games you like?

Side thought: I feel like games like Splatoon break the immersive lore by calling everything "ink". It's a trap that games like Pokemon fall into, where Pokemon has everything starting with Poke. By calling so much stuff "ink" or stuff like that, you break the immersion. Do you really think that Inklings would name everything starting with ink? Or Splat. No, they wouldn't. That would be as weird as humans calling everything "human" or something. It just doesn't make sense. Inkopolis, Inkadia, Splatsville, and more.

No I don't really, I like excuses to write essays. The only time asks get on my nerves is when people come to my askbox to try and use me as a publisher for their own completely unrelated theories, in which case MY GOD, get out of MY ASK BOX and just go post it on your OWN BLOG. I think this is just a general PSA at this point for people thinking of sending asks... before you send an ask, take a moment to think if it's actually a QUESTION, if it's something i'm likely to be able to answer, and if the answer to both of those is "no", ask yourself why you're sending it. I don't mind the occasional non-question asks, but sometimes there's just stuff that's like... what am I supposed to say about that? And it might just get the delete treatment. I don't really like saying this stuff because I don't want to discourage people from sending asks (because I like receiving them and seeing people's thoughts!), but there's been numerous times before where I've gotten an ask that's got like nothing to even do with me and could've easily been a reply or an original post! But as far as asks go, I don't mind as long as it's... actually an ASK most of the time. It usually makes my day seeing an ask notification, actually, so no, I don't really mind repeat asks. In fact I'd even encourage them if my previous reply raised more questions.

As for game series, I like Pokemon (regrettably), although scarlet and violet were incredibly disappointing to me and I played the game for like... a week. I don't see myself going back to it honestly lol. But Pokemon is definitely my second-largest interest. Battling is my least favorite part of it. I just really like creatures. I DON'T like the inconsistent (or hard to decipher, rather) worldbuilding and for that reason, I haven't bothered making content about it. (But I am part of some PMD groups on other sites...) I like Zelda a lot but I wouldn't call it something I'm REEEAALLY into. Twilight Princess is my favorite, I've only really played 3D Zeldas... I like them, but my GOD the timeline is a freaking mess and I can't be assed to get into the details of the world and lore (there's a lot) so I also don't do zelda content, lol. It's something I enjoy occasionally whenever a new game comes out, but Tears of the Kingdom hasn't sold me so far, to be fair. I'll still buy it and I'm sure I'll love it, but what the hell, man. I already spent 300 hours exploring every single inch of Hyrule in BotW, I hope the main objective isn't exploration again. Other than those two it's mostly smaller games, and I don't really play a lot of games, honestly. Night in the Woods continues to be one of my all-time favorites over stellar characters, a really immersive story, gorgeous art and music. Like I can't think of a single thing I don't like about it except how it will trigger an existential crisis literally every time (which is also the point). It's like the one singular indie game I would say I'm "into", I've played (VERY FEW) other indie games in my time, but pretty much all of them have been a case of "ok cool" and moving on. Night in the Woods tho? Every time the end of the year comes around I WILL think about it and probably play it. Obviously Minecraft is on this list and it might honestly be the best game of all time, but I can barely consider it a game because it's so much more than that, lol. With that being said though I CANNOT be assed to actually play it myself almost ever due to how time-consuming it is (and also building is really hard lol). But honestly? If I had to pick only one game to play for the rest of my life it'd be Minecraft and that's not even a contest... that game can be anything you want it to be!

Splatoon's naming conventions. True, they are, um... unique. I don't think they break the immersion though, depending on what brand you're immersed in. For Splatoon as the funny game it sets itself up to be, it's perfectly in line - I find some of the weirder stuff breaking my immersion VERY OFTEN but that is solely because I build my image of the Splatoon world to be much less cartoony than it actually is, and then you get sucker punched by the silly elements that are just normalized. I think in Splatoon's case (at least with Inkling societies) ink- and splat- are just one of those cultural naming conventions that isn't strange at all in-universe because they're like, used to it. I do wish the localization team got even a little more creative with their naming of places, though... the one good thing I can say is that it makes it really easy to come up with authentic-sounding place names if you're coming up with original locations. Just slap "ink" on it and it's done.

[dianalolihikki]

Hey!💜🩷

I think I'm obsessed with this blog,because I was constantly thinking,or maybe rather worried about what I could write here. I used to write web novels and publish them online. I might add that I wrote them in my native language. Why do I say that? Because I wrote quite a lot about A and J. When I felt that someone from A and J's circle could find them I would panic and delete everything I wrote.

Now I don't even feel the need to delete posts, even though there is a lot more of me here than in those novels. So maybe I force myself into this panic about over-sharing A and J's lives here? Now I don't know myself. I literally felt at peace a while ago,and now I'm insecure again.

Sometimes I hate these neurodiverse mood swings of mine.

I know one thing for sure: I don't want to hide anything here or over-plan what I will write about. Then it will all lose its meaning a lot. If I do that then even now I can stop writing ANYTHING I DON'T WANT TO DO, I DON'T!!!!

I hope I will stay here honest and true to the end. I don't want to stop being real. I don't want to stop writing. At the same time, I don't want anyone to feel bad that I'm writing about them. I don't want anyone to find out that I write about them,but on the other hand I don't want to hide anything. I want to write as before

I hope I won't stop.

And why did I stop writing novels? Because they were all practically about the same thing, which is me. I guess I'm either too uncreative or too self-centered. It is possible that both are true.

💮💮💮💮

Surprisingly, I finished writting my last novel, rather abruptly, even though there was probably the smallest amount of me there. Or maybe not so much the smallest amount of me, but rather a lot of my life was in there, but not directly. I don't know how to explain it, but I'll give an example. In previous novels, I wrote about J as my friend and physiotherapist whom I hadn't seen in a long time, which is how it really was. In the latest novel, I made him the brother of the main character. Why did I stop? Maybe there was just too little about me there? It also added a lot to the fact that I lost access to the blog where I was publishing this. My younger brother needed my google account for something and changed the password. Seemingly later I changed it again,but continued to have problems with logging in. Only that I did not even try to solve them. After all, I also published on other web sites,for example, on Wattpad. I didn't lose access to these websites, so if I wanted to I could keep writing. Apparently, I didn't want to.

Well, and I guess this diary satisfies my writing needs. After all, I'm writing about myself here. A sort of novel about my life. Well, and I'm typing it on my cell phone, so I can write anywhere and every day. Even when I will be at a physiotherapy camp,well unless I will be too tired to write.

Someday I'll have to write about the camp from September last year, or about my writing in the chat room. I have a "friend" there, to which I told him I am writing this diary. He asked me to type something in English about what I wrote here. I refused. I didn't want him to discover that I write this diary in an online translator and then just check that everything is correct.

Don't worry, it's not Google translator but something better. Anyway, I know English well enough to check if everything is ok.

I was never going to confess it here, but it's already done xD

I hope you guys won't be mad at me.

Although u so few people read this,which on the one hand is great,because I am safer,less people will find my blog xD

As for this friend it pisses me off that whenever I mention some man not related by blood to me he asks if I am flirting with him. This guy can't understand that I might not want to be in a relationship just because of the fear of loneliness. Loneliness is my friend. I don't care how pathetic it sounds.

💮💮💮💮

A. posted a video from Albania that shows her legs when she walks on the beach shore. Did she find out that I am posting here about her and J? No,that's impossible. I won't think about it anymore. I am posting here about this video to prove to myself that I will keep posting as before.

💮💮💮💮

I am pissed at K.

I don't know what time he will arrive tomorrow.

Theoretically K is supposed to be at my place at twelve o'clock.

However, he was supposed to confirm it,because on Friday he said that he doesn't know yet what his regular schedule will be.

Generally he has my mother's number, because for more than a year I have not had a SIM card in my phone, because I borrowed it to my brother.

I asked K on Friday if I could add him as a friend on Facebook or text him on messenger.

He agreed to text on messenger. Even then I noticed that he was not very enthusiastic about it, but I was and still am sure that I did not ask for anything wrong. I have every right to have any contact with him. I don't mean texting as with a friend but, for example, just asking about the time of therapy. I've already posted that I feel K would want to keep a professional distance, but I think he went too far. After all, it is his responsibility to inform me of the time of therapy if it is uncertain.

I texted him tonight about what time he will be at my place tomorrow. The last thing I would want is to be woken up in the morning by his coming too early. By the time I would get dressed it would be past halfway of the therapy

Supposedly on Friday he said he got my message, but I see the message marking implying that he didn't even get it. As if he didn't accept permission to text him.

With today's message, nothing has changed. He didn't even text my mother.

So I don't know anything.

This is just unprofessional behavior!

N says that K will probably send a message in the morning, but then it might be too late and I might oversleep.

Whatever the case, I set the alarm clock for nine in the morning.

💮💮💮💮

I'm finishing for today,because I'm getting tired already. 🎀

[oloohyeah]

I have been expelled from another place

I can only say that the work that goonies doing is so thoroughly and nasty, without any rules. I'm basically loosing the battle the moment I'm to enter a new or a known place, I'm doomed Regardless for me respecting the place, or trying to improve it as I will write about it next.

I have applied to work at Live casino Philadelphia twice, in the first time, I haven't got any replies in the email that said yes , no, or why not. Nothing. I came to the Live men power office and spoke to the reception guy name Drew. I told him that I don't receive anything's from Live casino about an interview, and I told him few of my ideas I have, improve the amount of guest attending to their facility on weekdays and so on. At first, like everyone, he was surprised, exited and was more then willing to help me, but then, a phone call, he picked up : yes, yeah, I understand, ok ... As he hugged up he looked at me deferent and without any notice he demands that I'll leave the office in no time and without any explanation. When I asked why he quickly push a button and in no time i had found myself surrounded with all the security guys that quickly kicked my white ass to see from a distance phillys baseball arena, I wonder when is the next phillys game? well I didn't lose faith and quickly applied again, immediately got an email that said thanks for applying and told me to look for email that will arrive soon. Days gos by and no email from them, after I waited 2 weeks I decided to thoroughly check all my folders and believe it or not I have found in my deleted folder a Live casino email, an invitation email two days after my second application filed which show I have miss the interview by two week. When I approached one of the stuff workers and show him that he quickly said that the name Melcom is not a real name but a Robot. And it seems to him that since I missed it I must apply once again. Yeah right I'm not going to do it. And came again to the office to meet Drew the reseptinist that welcome me with a smile and after I show him the letter he call this office and told me to come next day since Melcom the human off today. As he asked me I came the next day and he told me to sit and wait. I set about two hours that felt like 30 minutes, before he call me to the desk once more and said: I have no idea what's wrong somehow Melcom is not in his office so why don't you give me your phone number and as soon as he call back I'll let you know. It's been 7 days until the day I have been expelled from the facility, no Melcom no nothing... and here some of the great ideas I have offered them to improve the guest capacity in weekdays.

1. As you know if you come to the casino the first things you face is their mighty ATM machines that are scattered all over the casino floor. Any attempt to withdraw money going to combine with a monster fee of $8 not including you own bank withdrawal fee that usually come to $ 2.50 all total bring any withdrawal to over $10. My suggestion to them was to announce that for the next two months on weekdays only Live casino will wave the withdrawal fee from their part and also your bank. Any withdrawal will have 0 fee it's going to increase the amount of people that will do the transaction at the casino. Also the extra $10 that all guest will earn will go inside the slot machines so either way it's win for the casino and a win for the guest.

2. As I already mentioned on my previous post, I have no doubt that any business can do collaboration with their local casino. If it's supermarkets or even hospital, lol yeah think about an insensitive to anyone of the Cancer patient that bit the cancer will get to turn the casino Lucky wheal..

3. One more amazing ideas was, as I moved from slot machines to the others I noticed that many guests played the machines leave money in the machines. leave from $ 0.01 all the way to $ 100 + also I saw many guests that already know the deal and on weekdays there are at least dozen of them collecting all over the casino floor. On the weekends the amount of guest is even double I estimated about 500,$ weekdays and over 1500$ weekends. When I asked the stuff workers about this money they quickly said it's going to the state. Wait I asked what state? Are those collectors I have saw that collecting the left over are a state worker?? What state worker they replied back show to me that they know shit about the phenomena, I understood that this term stare is to confuse the stuff workers not dare to steal this money leftover. My suggestion was easy to gather all this leftover money to the workers themselves to be pay each quarter as a bonuses.. how to do it it's easy but I won't explain on this post.

4. Furthermore I have mentioned on my previous posts about the vouchers you can read about it..

5. Also to create a favorite slot machine game ( lighting link games) member club to gather all those type machines at the same area create an arch, and on top to hang a big sign: the light inning link club, come and get some.

I must stop this post since one of the security guys that perhaps saw me in the underground parking write this post and also charging my phone since there is no more Fundual sofas on the casino floor anymore I have been expelled as I already mentioned. So as of a guy without home I'm forced to look for places in which I could be able to charge my phone. Unfortunately most places that have an outdoor outlet are either discounted or are locked 🔒 inside a box. Now look at this. Did you know that charging your phone empty full nonstop for one year cost less then 5$? Check it please. So why thet disconnecting electricity over the whole electric outdoors around the city? Also did you know that the amount of cellphones in comparison to the amount of electric vehicles are 1: 100000 which means we all somehow got stuck with a dead phone while outside. And I said why not to create a phone charging post ( next to the blue bicycle area which will give the padestrian a quick place to charge their phone and also to enjoy wifi. For the small amount of 5$ a month you will be able to connect to those posts and quickly charge your cellphone. If you didn't come with your cable, no problem with an extra charge of $1.50 you will get their cable to charge your cellphone. But there is a worning, if somehow you're got upset from the extra charge and rip the cable you going to be charged full amount of the cable value. You was the last user before it was ripped off and the penalty goes to you so please respect the charging post of the rest of us...

[br-disaster]

nie mingjue’s outfits appreciation post

This is way longer than I expected oh gods, please forgive me for it. 

 It’s a well known fact that Jiang Cheng has the best wardrobe of all CQL characters, I’m not here to argue with that, but I think it’s time for us to stop sleeping on Nie Mingjue’s absolutely fantastic fashion sense.

I mean have you seen him?? The man is out there serving looks even with the Nie sect limited color palette. Please let’s ignore the context here and just look at his robes

I wasn't sure if I should rank them, so I’ll just ramble about them in order of appearance:

1. The gray “I’m the boss” one

That’s the first time we ever see him and what can I say? He does leave an impression. We see him using these robes two times, in episodes 10-11 and on the beggining of Fatal Journey, as the first picture shows, which makes me wonder: Is this his stay-at-home set of robes? ‘Cause damn

I don’t know how I should comment on the particular details of his robes but I really appreciate how wide this extra fabric layer makes his shoulders look.

Really imposing and powerful look.

2. The Sunshot incredibly beautiful "this is how you win a war" one

Look, this one might be my favorite, it has EVERYTHING

Shoulder game is strong here, and this bronze-like color goes really well with his belt. Now let's talk about his outer robe for a moment, just THE COLOR I mean it's the prettiest shade of gray I've ever seen.

Also Long Sleeves

And a CAPE. A f**king CAPE. I'll never get over this look and I'm really glad the costume department let this king wear a cape again in Fatal Journey, he was made for it.

Next comes the inner layer that's not really a robe, as you can see when he's standing, but the silver pattern is what really does it for me, guys. It's probably the first thing you see once you look down from his face, 'cause I know we all get lost on that beautiful mustache, and it's perfect.

You can’t lead a war campaign if you don’t look good, I see.

3. The "I didn't really want to be here but I’m looking good anyway" one

It's so dark, it probably reflects how he was feeling during pretty much all the scenes he's in while wearing it.

Once again he accentuates his shoulders with an extra fabric except this time his sleeves are not long at all. I personally think he looks even more handsome like this, it makes his arms look bigger. What is it called? I don't know, but it matches his belt as well.

( Is it really a belt, guys? I don't wanna disrespect but I don't even know where to start looking for names nor I know other english names for belts)

The subtle golden/bronze details on the outer robe and on the inner robe's collar contrasts really well with the black and dark gray

Sad thing he looked really miserable wearing it :c

4. The "big event he seemed ok with attending" one

Dark again. But he didn't look as depressed as in the previous one, he actually had fun that day, which is good. Enough of tears and betrayal for now.

May be the wider sleeves he ever wore, perfect for clapping his hands like a happy toddler. There's also a lovely flowery pattern on the darker robe that you can easily miss if you don't pay enough attention.

For the first time his shoulders are not accentuated by fabric or shoulder pads and it's really nice to see him like this. We all love a buff Mingjue, but CQL Mingjue is not that buff and I love him just as much.

Really elegant, not as imposing and he has every right to want to look civil for once. It may be the series' way of telling us that he's not dressed for real combat or war, who knows.

5. The "all this just for a flashback?" one

Listen, this one right here is just AMAZING

I don't understand why they dressed him so beautifully for what? 10 minutes of a flashback. I wanted to see it for more than a couple os scenes!!

Everything here is different, so this will take time.

First: His inner robe, the first one, is not the usual black, it's light gray, it's lighter than his robes actually, and we don't see him wearing it like ever again since chronologically in the series this is the first robe he wears. Does it secretly mean that all went wrong from the moment he met MY? who knows

Second: The outer robe is fancy. There’s so many details to it and it may be the lighting of the scene, but it seems to be a warmer shade of gray, doesn’t it? The golden\bronze thin strip around the silver larger strip is perfect. It kinda has the opposite effect of his shoulder pads, since it makes his shoulders look a bit smaller but it’s so very elegant.

Third: The upper part of the inner robe. I mean who gave him the right to look that good ??? It’s dark but it has golden little shapes in it!! And it kinda looks like there’s a zipper in there because of that mid section. And oh to be a single jewel resting over Sect Leader Nie’s chest...

Fourth: The bottom part of the robe is also something new. We see pleats on Huaisang’s main robes, but never on Mingjue’s until now, that’s why I took the last screenshot, nothing to do with the bloody Baxia at all. I wish we could have seen them in pretty pleated robes together.

It probably contradicts what I said about his shoulder things being a code for battle, since the first thing we see him doing with this outfit is killing some guy/puppet; but for the rest of the time he wears it is peaceful

Honestly, imagine how Meng Yao felt. It was some fairy tale thing, wasn’t it? You’re a nobody eating bread and drinking water and then this king pops up out of nowhere and defends you from bullying and offers you a job and takes you home with him?? 

6.The “kick your local murderer down the stairs” one

I don’t really know what to say about this one. The context kind of ruined it for me, but let’s try.

 It resembles the fourth outfit since it’s a really dark inner robe and a lighter and patterned outer robe. Except this one has this nice and shiny thin strips around the sleeves and the waist.

It’s pretty but not especially pretty in my opinion. If I were to rank the outfits, this one would rank last.

7. The “fighting qi deviation and needing emotional support” one

Fatal Journey, baby.

I know what I said about the second one, but this might be my favorite.  It’s practical, no long sleeves or heavy outer robes. It’s also appropriate for horse riding, wich is great. The simple, sleeveless light gray outer robe is really nice.

There’s a cape again!! And I have to say the cape looks even better now that his sleeves are tighter, the way it falls gracefully on his back is perfect. I love the way it seems to be attached to the shoulder pad too. 

The robes are simple but the thing is: The accessories are not. 

His belt is now silver and if we ignore that the production team just painted it, we can assume he has two sets of identical waist belts, one is bronze and the other is silver. Now the final touch: The shoulder pads. This is what makes this outfit the most extra of them all. It’s silver and just so, so pretty I wanna cry everytime I look at them. I mean, the layers, the dragon\beast entire head makes him look so fierce and ready for the fight.

 I wonder how comfortable they are tho.

10/10 would rank first place.

bonus: Baby Mingjue

We love a consistent king after all! Has he been wearing dark robes since he was a baby? We will never know. I love this dark yet translucent outer robe tho.

1000/10 the cutest and best dressed child out there.

Conclusion: Nie Mingjue is a fashion icon! 

* Do not take this too seriously, I did zero research and english is not my first language. If there’s any terrible grammar mistakes, point them to me and i’ll edit it. If I’m somehow disrespecting Chinese culture, please also point it to me and I’ll apologize, edit or even delete the post.

[anasweetlywrites]

,,Is she dead?” BBC!Sherlock x Female!Reader

Note : Do not republish my stories without permission / credit

Warnings

I originally posted this series on Wattpad but since I noticed just one of my friends actually reads and gave feedback to it I decided to delete it from there and kept her updated.However a friend from here is also curious about this series as well and I decided to post it here.

SMUT,Sexual thoughts ,mystery, nudity , crime ,fluff, death (nothing to descriptive) .

Mostly just characters from the first season appear

Words : 1613 (without the warnings) 

Masterlist

Chapter 2 

After two or three hours of reading, 3 more TV and two of sleep I was already bored to the point I understood his weird habit when he was bored. I was about to go for another glass of water when I froze in the middle of the room. I could hear heavy steps on the stairs but I sighed relieved when I only heard Sherlock's annoyed voice arguing with what seemed like another man.

"I'll have a date tonight!" The other voice shouted "A date! And I'm already late!"

"Then hurry and leave! I'm busy tonight too!" Sherlock answered and soon the front door of the building slammed and the door of their apartment slammed , revealing a very pissed and messy Sherlock. His black curls had a bit of blood that was falling over his sharp cheekbones and jawline. His cupid bow lips turned into a soft smile when he saw me. "Hi"

"Oh hi Sherlock. Good evening"

"Evening? You spend too many hours alone. Are you ok?"

"Yes,I just got bored after a while." I said and winked

"Oh...are you warm now?" He raised an eyebrow

"Still not completely"

"Based on the position you currently have and the empty cup in your hand you wanted to go to get another cup of water"

"Yes" I smiled and rubbed my arm. I put down the cup on a small coffee table and I got closer to him examining him.It was his turn to freeze in his place. I went into the kitchen and poured water on a cloth then got back and started cleaning his curls and face gently. He closed his eyes and allowed me to do it. As soon as I finished cleaning him he opened his eyes. He caught my hand and kissed the back of it softly looking in my eyes and stayed silent for a while. I smiled softly and moved my hand away to go into the kitchen again this time to put the dirty cloth in the sink and get my cup of water. 

When I got back Sherlock was still in the same place only this time he was just in his usual suit and his coat was back at its place.

"3 were found and now are in jail. "

"One left then" I getting back in my previous position

"You said you're still not warm...perhaps I- we can get warm" he bit his lip and looked away then back at me "It was odd at the morgue. I never hesitate so much around a corpse. I never took such care of someone new. I never thought I'll feel-"

He stopped then shook his head "You probably don't want this I mean to do it with me I should find a more-"

"Sherlock" I called his name softly

He stopped his rambling and looked up at me

"I want you too" I whispered again 

After two steps he reached me and moved his hands over my arms, soon finding a way to quickly take off the coat then almost falling on me he managed to unbutton the button of the shirt from Molly. He lifted me up and laid me down on the couch more gently than I expected leaving long passionate kisses over my neck licking and sucking on my skin moving his lip up so he could start whispering in my ear "Is this desire? or love? I'm sure you wonder too. But the sounds you make are so lovely and I can't wait to hear more" he pressed a kiss to my earshell then went back on my neck , his big hands squishing and cupping my breast making me moan loudly.

"Sherlock please" I tried to beg quietly feeling how I started rubbing my bare tights against his covered ones seeking for friction.

"Patience" he mumbled in my neck before harshly pinning down my legs with his own "I'm not done with preparing you little snowflake"he whispered against my collarbone while his hands traveled on my stomach and tights , I moaned as soon as his finger reached my clit

" More please " I whispered seeking for his eyes but he was focused on placing more kisses on my skin making me feel so warm yet frustrated

Before I could ask for more the second time he lifted me up again this time placing me to stand up still in front of his fireplace. He pressed his back against me then one of his hands stayed on my chest while the other one traveled from my spine and hips until it reached between my legs. I moaned as soon as one of his fingers entered me from behind and his hand moved from my chest to my mouth gently not completely stopping the sounds that got louder as soon as he entered two more then bended me just enough for his long fingers to roughly get out and thrust back in against my point

"Can you feel it too? Do you feel my fingers? " His deep voice almost made my knees weak while his fingers kept slamming against my point his hot breath over the back of my neck while the fire form the fireplace kept the front of me warm

"S-Sher-" I tried to scream his name to let him know but I couldn't as I felt myself coming hardly over his hand

"It's alright" he whispered while I was panting and kept trying to catch my breath but he kept thrusting a few more times his fingers then moved them away licked them clean "Exceeding my expectations" he smirked and I felt myself falling on my knees but he caught me before I could reach the floor. I fixed my hands on the metallic arm of his black leather armchair and tried to catch my breath.

"Such a nice place you choose to continue, darling "

I looked up at him , he took off his black jacket and white shirt already taking off his belt too. I bit my lip and asked "How long since you...?"

"Months"

"Same"

I turned my head towards the fireplace watching his body glistening in the light of the fire with the corner of my eyes . He moved behind me as soon as he was done and kissed the back of my neck

"You're getting warmer"

"Indeed and I-"

His palm was on my ass while his free hand was moving up and down from my hip to my side then he softly turned my head towards him

"Do you still want me?" He asked heavy breathing

I noticed how he was giving his best to hold back and I answered "Yes"

He kissed me deeply for a few moments then pulled away from the kiss and let go of my chin moving his hand back on my hip then lower and lifted my ass softly like he suddenly started hesitating

"Something wrong , Sherlock?" I asked turning my head towards him

"Should it be?" He answered the question with another question. His long fingers touching my inner thighs and upper making me moan softly then as this brought him back to reality he slowly entered me from behind. His hands were holding my hips and he was holding his breath while I was adjusting to his size. He pushed himself fully and moaned out loud at the same time with me.

"You feel wonderful" He pressed his chest against my back whispering in my ear while he started moving slowly

"You as well" I whisper-moaned softly and he grinned against my ear

"Shall we see how fast we can find that point dear?I already deduced all your weaknesses" Before I could answer he pulled all the way out then pushed back in hardly then harder at a faster peace. I was holding the leather from the chair digging my nail in it moaning his name loudly with his every thrust.

"I'm losing my mind , drowning in you" he said, the words thrusting roughly reaching and hitting the point at the same time he was saying every word already moving at almost brutal peace, however I could feel his soft hands gently rubbing my skin .

I screamed his name in pleasure and his lips found their way on the back of my neck while his hands parted my legs wider and pressed his fingers over my clit making me came over him. He slowed down moaning my name in my ear like a mantra letting me know he's close too and he's proud I could take him. Soon he came too, filling me up.I bit my lip as soon as he started pulling away slowly then my legs collapsed and I was on my knees on the floor still holding the armchair and breathing heavily.

"I'll be right back" he quickly said and ran towards the bathroom then came back with two wet towels. "I believe you're warm enough now" he smirked and I laughed while he was cleaning me up after he helped me lay down on his chair.

He got his boxers then took some blue thrusters and folded his other clothes then threw them in the bathroom. He picked me up making jokes and compliments about how good I felt and how he never felt such things but he was glad he felt them with me. I smiled and he laid me in his bed then he moved beside me and covered my naked body and his half naked body with his white blanket.

"Goodnight" I whispered, staying closer to him and being able to hear his little snores . The detective hasn't fallen asleep like this in months.

[arethereanyoriginalusernames]

Fanfiction review : Unexpected

Disclaimer: Do not send hate to anyone mentioned in this post. If you plan to respond in anyway to this post, I ask that you remain civil to everyone. Also, this review is an opinion post. Do not take what I say here as fact. Thank you.

------------------

I like sorbet. I do! I prefer it to ice cream, and I would gladly eat half a tub without hesitation. But if I were to eat it every day? I'd get sick of it. It's always bothersome when something like that happens. Especially in literature. Sometimes, a short story is more enjoyable than a lengthy saga. Good things can come in small packages....

... what was I talking about again? Ah, whatever.

Anyway, let's talk about zoophobia fanfiction.

*****

Those who have had the misfortune of reading my last fic review may recall that I went through each and every chapter of TDL's story. This time, however, this will be structured in a sort of ramble. I will be discussing things in sections, and I will give my overall thoughts at the end. This is a review of "Unexpected " by a "Kalum16" , who, if my memory serves me correctly, goes by @kartoonluv on Tumblr. Now, this review was not requested by anyone, so if Kalum (who I'll refer to as KL for brevity's sake) wishes this review to be deleted, I will comply with his wishes. Also, I suggest that you read this on fanfiction.net before continuing with this post.

******

Something I would like to get out of the way are my views on romance and the story's pairing. I'd like to bring these up now as I will be mentioning them later on.

Firstly, I have never been in a romantic relationship. However, I have been in love before, and I know people who are or who have been in relationships. That being said, I have considered that perhaps my lack of experience will mean that with certain things... I might not get it. The importance of certain events may be lost on me, and I may not be able to connect with things couples do.

I would also like to confess that Kayla x Damian is one of my least favorite ZP ships. The idea that after Damian basically harasses Kayla, manipulates her and Zill, and basically makes their lives miserable for his own gain, that he can be rewarded by getting the girl? Not exactly something I jive with. Also, (and this is my interpretation) I do not think that Damian's feelings towards Kayla are genuine. By that, I think (due to how little they know about each other) Dame is more in love with his idea of who Kayla is. Or, if we weren't going to look to deep into it and say that it's because he has a thing for Christians, it would make Dame's attraction pretty materialistic. Neither idea really screams "good ship!" to me.

********

That being said, let's discuss how the pairing is handled here. I'm actually on board with this depiction of the relationship. For one thing, it seems that Kay and Dame have become friends. They clearly care about one another before starting a relationship, and the story makes it so that they can relate to each other. This takes away my issue of these characters not acting knowing each other well, and thus the feelings they have towards one another come off as genuine.

I think that the story makes them out to the a cute couple. However, I still have a major issue with it, and the story as a whole.

Basically, (after a while) I think it's boring.

To best explain why, I would first like detour and discuss Damian and Kayla individually.

*******

Ladies first. I have mentioned in previous posts that I enjoyed the first chapter of this story. Back then, I had not read beyond chapter 1, as I hadn't realized that the story had been updated. And you know what? I still stand by that. In chapter 1, Kayla feels a lot more interesting than she is in the comic. It's interesting to see Kay in a situation where she basically gets what she wants, but she ends up hating it. She struggles with writers block, self doubt and regret. It's sad to see how apathetic she's become, and how she no longer holds the ambition she once did.

I also liked that she still had some internalized prejudice against demons. It made sense, and it made what was going on more interesting as it created inner conflict. Now, if the story was just the one chapter, I would have bought that her falling in love with Dame would have made all her prejudice go away. I mean, you would need to wrap it up by the end.

But we got more than 1 chapter, and thus the evaporated prejudice feels kind of contrived and like lost potential. Hell, it would have been interesting if an ongoing subplot involved Kayla conquering her prejudice by learning about demons and debunking the stories that I heard as a kid. Her just yeeting away her prejudice because she falls for one guy feels kind of lame, and going forward, Kayla feels less interesting in the fic.

Originally, she had all this regret and self doubt. While it's great to see her doing good, her issues feel like they've almost all been resolved by a makeout session. Throughout the story, Kay doesn't grow or develop in any way. Her only real issue is "I'm in love with Dame and ppl don't like it, woe is me"

There's this chapter where Dame meets Kay's parents, and I feel like I should be invested, but I'm more confused than anything. The story points out that Kay's parents were ok with Zill (who's part demon, part whatever the fuck), but they're not ok with Dame. I mean, yes, he's the antichrist, but have they not figured out that their daughter is into some weird dudes? Like, they're perspective is painted as "oh, Kay was such a good girl, and yadda yadda", but, again, they were ok with Zill. You'd think that that relationship would at least make them question that idea? Also, why are Kay's parents deer? Am I missing something?

Kay serves really only one role here. She's Dame's gf, she'll defend the relationship to the grave, and she cares about him. She doesn't become much more than that, and every chapter feels like it's redundant in reinforcing that idea. Like...ok, we get it, let's move on.

*******

Does Damian do much here? Not really. He's mainly the inverse of Kayla for the most part, being "I will defend this love, no matter fucking what". The issue being constantly brought up about how he's the antichrist, so "oh no, that makes things difficult ", is always resolved in about a chapter.

The story feels like it's trying to give Damian some development. I mean, I guess he stands up for himself against Kay's parents, and defends her from his? Oh, and there's that moment where he's like "Yo, I have no control over my life, I don't wanna be a prince, you make me happy ", etc. But not even this really does anything. The meeting with his parents feels like a repeat of meeting Kay's parents. We even get the one parent approval, one on one talk, and it's the mom, just like before. Oh, and Dame's emotional "I will reject prince-y ness to be with you " speech? All that leads to is them having sex.

Ok, well, that last one I might give a pass. I don't find sex to be that big a deal, but I know some people view it as this super important thing, so maybe through that lense, I could see sex as being an emotional payoff.

*******

One thing I won't give a pass is chapter 2, which really didn't need to be here. Jack never shows up again, Kayla can be subtracted from this chapter entirely, and the only build up to this was a couple lines in the previous chapter. The chapter itself is alright, but it feels like it should have been it's own separate story. My only idea as to why this chapter should stay is that, apart from Kayla in chapter 1, this is the only chapter with development. Damian owning up for being a shit is great, and it shows some of only god damn growth for anyone here.

Another chapter that didn't need to be here was whichever was the chapter when Zill showed up again. Admittedly, I skipped this chapter almost entirely. Look, he and Kay broke up, and they're dating different people. That's it. That's all we need. I read the first few paragraphs and the last few. I feel like I don't need to read the entire chapter to know that it's just reinforcing the idea of how great a couple Kayla and Damian are. You know, like basically every chapter in here.

*****

My biggest issue overall with this story is the relationship. As much as I've been ragging on this fic, KL is very gifted at writing. There were some instances where a reread or two could fix some wonky sentences (sounds like me reviewing my posts), but overall he does have a good grasp on it.

That being said, the relationship, the core of this story, is not interesting enough to warrant all six chapters. The only issue Kayla and Damian face are the opinions of others. They never have any reason to question the relationship, question themselves as people, or think about how to handle things. It would have been a lot more interesting if we saw them develop the close relationship the story portrays them as having. It would be interesting if we saw them learn more about each other, or discover ways to deal with each other if one of them is being a dumb bitch. We get it. They love and care about each other. The world around them think it's weird. Every chapter just reinforces the same idea again and again.

I think KL could easily make this better. There's a bunch of plot points that are never brought up more than once that could be interesting. For instance, Kayla struggling to write new songs. We could see more of how she and Dame deal with that instead of having them mention "oh yeah, the problem is fixed now ". Does Damian ever earn Jack's forgiveness? Does Kayla learn anything new about demons?

KL, I believe you when you say these two care a lot about each other. And yeah, seeing how they make their relationship work in spite of what others think is an interesting idea on paper. But the characters don't become closer to each other or anything. Why would I be concerned about the issues presented in the story when I know that they're just going to be resolved in the same way?

You know it's kind of like sorbet...

I would still nonetheless recommend this story tho. Again, as much as I've ragged on it, I still think that the story is good. As mentioned before, I don't have much experience with romantic relationships, so perhaps something here could be lost on me. I'm curious to know anyone else's thoughts.

I apologize for wasting your time

- Spooky S Skeletons

Ps. Yes, quarantine is messing with my head :) just bear with me

[asdpawprint]

I'm starting to recognize the different audiences of my social media accounts.

Anything I post on Facebook will be seen by my parents and other adult family members. I have one friend who deleted her Instagram and only keeps contact with me through Facebook, but the vast majority are adult family members.

On Instagram, I have my private personal account where friends and cousins (and my horse's previous owner and trainer) follow me.

On Tumblr, I have a completely anonymous blog where I can shout into the void. Which is what I'm doing right now.

Today, I removed Facebook from the social media folder on my phone. I have to go out of my way to open the app now. I'm just not super comfortable with that audience (except my friend, she's great and I wish we kept better contact). It was starting to seem like every time I post there, I end up being teased by my parents.

Yesterday, I posted about the progress we've made with my dog's weight loss in the last month. This morning, my Mom teased that I "blasted my dog on social media." Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think one post on a private account about how proud I am and trying to spread knowledge so others don't have to learn about pet obesity the hard way is the same as "blasting." Tonight, I switched the visibility of that post to only me.

I decided I'm going to keep long captions like that to my Instagram instead. Facebook can be for cute pictures and short, inconsequential captions.

Then I started thinking about how my Instagram is literally just about my horse and my dog. I don't post about myself there at all. This is because I'm afraid to open up about my autism and mental health struggles to people I know IRL. Today was a rough day, and I needed someone to drive me in order to give my horse the exercise he needs. Because I wasn't there alone, I got a cute picture of myself with my horse and dog.

Instead of discussing my difficulty and expressing that needing and asking for help is ok, I captioned the picture by simply stating that it was a rare picture of all 3 of us together and that both were good boys today.

That could've been a great message to express, and I wanted to express it (hence why I'm shouting into the void about it), but I didn't. I'm not sure why. I think I'm scared.

I want my friends to know and accept who I am, but I'm worried I'll make them uncomfortable or confused by taking the account that's been used purely for my pets and suddenly including serious mental health discussions. Also my horse's previous owner and trainer follow me for updates on his health, which is a bit awkward sometimes.

If/when I eventually have a service dog, I want to have a separate Instagram page for that dog where I can talk about my disabilities and mental health freely without potentially inconveniencing those who simply like to see my horse. Until then, maybe that piece of my life will stay in the safe anonymity of Tumblr.

But I wish I could be open about it. It's such a huge part of who I am, it feels like lying to hide myself behind cute animal pics and short half-truth captions.

[admiringlove]

Hello love, I saw the previous post (that I’m not sure if you deleted or if it’s just not showing up cuz I’m cat sitting rn and their wifi is garbage)(but if you did delete no need to publicly respond to this) and I wanted to offer a bit of comfort if you’re feeling down abt the girl. It’s ok if it didn’t happen this time. if you like her and you wanna try again, you can. Please don’t beat yourself up abt it, it’s completely ok. It’s hard to be vulnerable, especially when you’re not out and you don’t know her sexuality for sure. We’re rooting for you! Live your life babes because no one else can live it for you. I’m proud of you. Just keep swimming, my dear, you’ve got so much love to give.

Kisses!! 🍋🍋

i did delete it lmfao 💀 mostly because i didn't want most people other than a few mutuals (and you) seeing it.

but thank you!! i think i'll try again and try forming a proper friendship before i just jump in with the whole crush thing. i guess i got scared because i don't really know her all that well and i really want to :/

[asktashigi]

You said you have more headcanons then what you posted at the 10 \6 right? I'll be very happy to read all of your headcanons just for you to know♥

Yes! I deleted some from the list because it was too long, and I have more I haven’t even written because they’re too obvious or I talked about them in previous asks… I keep working on the list little by little, maybe I’ll post them again when it’s finished ^_^OK, here’s a few more:MORE TASHIGI HEADCANONS-She joined the Marines because she loves justice and wanted to protect the innocent, but also because she thought it would help her fulfill her dream (by arresting all the criminals who have named swords).-Pirates used to attack the town where she grew up. One day, they kidnapped some girls she knew, and she could only defend herself because she knew how to use a sword (she could stand against them just long enough until the marines came to help her). That was when she decided she wanted to be a marine and protect other women and innocent people from pirates. She couldn’t stop thinking what would have happened to her if she didn’t have a sword.-She buys a new flower shirt as a souvenir in every island she visits. She also likes to buy books about the local history and traditional weapons, to learn about the different swords around the world.-Besides books about swords, she likes reading adventure stories and samurai stories. She’s not a big fan of romance novels, but also reads some from time to time (when she’s really bored).-When she wants to relax, she does the maintenance of her swords or some light training like katas.-She’s very much a feminist.-She has Zoro’s Wanted poster on her bedroom wall. She says it’s to motivate herself, and remind herself of her promise to defeat him.-She usually wears sports underwear. Only on rare occassions she indulges in buying a cute and feminine set or two.-Because she breaks and loses her glasses often, she carries a lot of spare glasses with her.BONUS: PRINCESS TASHIGI HEADCANONSThis came from a theory I read somewhere about Zoro being a prince from Wano. I’ve also seen theories about Tashigi being from Wano, and they make sense. So I thought: what if she is actually a princess from Wano?-She was quite a rebellious princess.-Also the clumsy princess who never learned to wear long kimonos or act like the delicate flower she was supposed to be.-Since women aren’t allowed to become swordsmen, she trained in secret.-She left her country because she wanted to become a swordswoman and be free.-Hearing the words “arranged marriage” also made her panic. She’s stubborn about it: she’d rather die than marry someone she doesn’t love.-She cut her hair when she left her home and started a new life as a Marine. She only started growing it long again when she entered the Grand Line and was on her path to fulfill her dream.-Noble and fair princess, just like Vivi. Even if she’s far away, she wants to protect her people and worries when she hears bad news about her country.-If she went back home, she would be a warrior princess.