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sisterwifeudaku · 6 years

Text

Holla If You Need Me

Chadwick X Reader

Trigger: Miscarriage

Chadwick pulled up to the local bar in his hometown and sat in the car for a moment to prepare himself. He had been filming Black Panther all week and on his off day he went ahead and drive from Atlanta to South Carolina to see his family and old friends.

Hopping out of the car he stretched as he locked the rental car. He walked into the bar and immediately saw the group of friends waiting on him.

"Ayyye my man Chad. How've you been brother?" His life long friend Troy asked as they embraced one another in a hug. Once everyone had a chance to greet the star they all began to drink and talk.

"So how's filming going man" Jay, a friend he had since grade school spoke up.

"It's goin' man. I can't really say much about it tho" he said with a shrug.

"Ahh they got yo ass with that contract huh?" His loud friend Billy asked making them all laugh.

"Enough about work shit man let's get to talkin' 'bout what I been missin'. I know y'all got some shit to tell me" he asked not wanting to talk about work anymore.

"You remember that girl you claimed was never your lady but you were lying out ya ass? What was her name?" Travis spoke making Chadwick look at him. He knew who he was talking about but was confused as to why you would be the topic of discussion.

"Yeah man I know. She was a cutie. Iron Mike over here was about to throw some blows at me when I tried to holla that one time" Troy said making the group laugh.

"It wasn't like that man, and her name is Alexis." Chad said with a small smile trying to hide his embarrassment.

"Yeah well turns out she's back in town to stay" Travis said wiggling his eyebrows at Chadwick making his stomach do flips at the thought of seeing you again, you still had that affect on him.

"That's what's up" Chadwick said cooly. He couldn't hide his feelings for shit back then but he could mask them just fine now, he'd been practicing for years. And he had done a mighty fine job at it, pretending he was happy and whole when in reality a piece of him was missing and would probably never return.

"So you gone hit her up? I know that she was like your ace or something before she left and everything" Billy said making everyone nod.

"I ain't spoke to her since she left" he stated downing the rest of his beverage and leaning back in his seat.

"Why did she leave anyway?" Someone threw out there making him tense up a little bit. He never really liked to put his business out there even if it was to his closest friends. Not to mention it wasn't any of their business.

"She said it was some family drama or something" he said back hoping they would drop it.

He woke up the next morning to the sun shining in his face. Squinting his eyes he sat up in his old bed and began his morning routine. He shuffled down the stairs of his parents home and smiled at the smell of his mother cooking breakfast.

"Glad to see you could make it to breakfast Chadwick with you coming in all late this morning" she spoke as he kissed her cheek.

"Good morning to you too momma...mornin' daddy" he spoke to his parents as he sat at the small kitchen table. As their children grew older and had their own lives to live they stopped visiting and coming home as much leading them to scale down on furniture until holidays.

His mother sat a plate in front of both him and his father before getting her own to sit with them.

"So you know Alexis is back in town right? I invited her and her family over to supper tonight at 7:30. I need you here at 6:30 to help clean up. Ya hear me?" He mother spoke before digging into her own plate.

"Yes ma'am." He said. He knew better than to complain about her inviting them to dinner. He wasn't for getting an earful today not with the way his head was feeling.

"Mama I'm a grown man if I want to dress comfortable for dinner then I will. I didn't even bring slacks" Chadwick said as he sat on the couch next to his father who dressed the way she had asked.

"Jesus...you're my only child to make things difficult. At least put on jeans don't wear those shorts at my table in front of guests" she said walking back into the kitchen.

Chadwick looked at his father who just shook his head and continued to watch the news. By the time he had changed and came back down the guest had arrived.

"Leroy, Carolyn such a pleasure to see you all again!" Your parents greeted.

"Tim, Hazel it's good to see you all as well. Alexis sweetie it's so good to see you hunny" Chadwick's mother spoke up. You smiled in response before speaking.

"It's good to see you too Mr and Mrs Boseman" you said before sinking back into the background hoping to get this dinner over with. You know why they set up this dinner and hopefully Chadwick did too. You almost stayed home but Mrs. Boseman could throw down and you weren't going to deny your tastebuds of whatever she prepared tonight.

Once your parents greeted Chadwick you all went into the dining room to began eating dinner. So far all Chadwick had done was look at you but not speak thus irritating you more than you already were. After saying prayer (idk if you do or not) the food began to make its way around the table making your mouth water.

Everyone engaged in conversation as you sat back quietly and enjoyed the meal. Of course they had to ask you a question causing all of the eyes in the room to turn to you, even Chad's.

"I asked how you've been sweetie. I haven't seen you since the incident" Mrs.Boseman asked sincerely in a kind voice. This made both you and Chadwick choke on air before glancing at each other. Neither of you had enjoyed this topic. You had lost someone dear to you and Chadwick had lost two people that he loved from the bottom of his heart.

"Uhm, I've been making it Mrs.Boseman. Thank you for asking" you said with a small smile. She gave a small nod and sad smile. You suddenly didn't feel like eating as you excused yourself from the table and out of the front door.

You had began to walk the road back to your parent's home in order to retrieve your car. You were in your own world when you felt a hand grab your shoulder. You instantly knew it was Chadwick from the tingling sensation that ran down your spine like it had when you two had first began to be friends, at the age or 8 which is right around the time that you began to think that people of the opposite sex didn't have cooties after all.

"Now you know better than to walk out here alone minnie" he stated with a small smile hoping to get you to crack your first for the night.

"Chad just let me go so I can get my car" you stated not wanting to talk to him, memories starting to resurface the longer you stood near him.

"Ok Lex damn, at least let me drive you to your car" he said pulling you towards his rental car.

Once he opened and closed your door he slid over the hood in order to get to the driver's side. As he sat in his seat and closed the door you began to laugh at him. He pulled off and smiled at you.

"I missed that laugh Minnie. Been almost 20 years since I heard it" he stated glancing at you before focusing back on the road.

"It has been that long hasn't it?" You spoke up slightly turning to him as he made his way towards your family home. After all these years he still remembered where it was.

"Hell yeah and I've missed you girl" he said grabbing your left hand and caressing it. You smiled at him feeling yourself relax. The remainder of the ride was silent until he pulled up to the house.

"So, you think you'd be up to talk? I haven't had the chance to really have a one on one with you in a while" Chadwick asked.

You didn't feel up to it but you shrugged it off. It was just as much his problem as it was yours so why not? Maybe you'd get some closure from it.

"You wanna do this here or what?" He spoke as he turned to give you all of his attention.

"We can stay here and talk. It really doesn't matter" you shrugged a little nervous.

"Awe ok so let's go to the dock then." He said turning the car on and driving.

Together they sat on a bench in silence. It stayed that way for a while before Chadwick spoke up.

"You know it hurt me a lot when you left right?" He said not looking at you.

"It hurts too much for me to be here and be reminded of what happened" you spoke looking at him.

"I mean that didn't just effect you Minnie. It hurt your family as well as mine. We all were going through something" he said.

"Well everyone has their own way to grieve the dead Chad if I felt that leaving would benefit me why would I stay?" You spat back.

"Well damn it's always about you! Me me me what about how I felt? You weren't the only one to deal with that pain. I carry that shot around in me too y/n!" He spoke as his voice started to raise.

"WELL NOBODY ELSE WAS CARRYING THAT CHILD BUT ME! NOBODY FELT THOSE KICKS, THE MOVEMENT, THE CRAVINGS NONE OF IT! THAT WAS MY CHILD" you yelled not caring about who was around.

" That was my child too! I didn't only lose my baby I lost my lady too. The one I needed the most. You were the only one that felt and understood my pain. And you just up and left" he repeated.

You sighed before speaking " Chad we were both children, two 15 year olds having a baby. It took me months to wrap my head around that. And when...when we lost the baby right before I was set to leave, I felt horrible. It felt like my heart had gotten ripped out of my body and I had to watch it get ripped to shreds."

"And you thought still leaving would make it better" he spoke up softly watching as tears brimmed your eyes.

You sighed trying to compose yourself before breaking down. Your sobs shook your body as you tried to answer.n

"I-I don't know" you managed to get out as he stood there feeling his heart break.

"Can I hold you?" he asked just wanting to comfort you.

You nodded and ran into his open arms. He wrapped his arms around you rubbing your back as he repeatedly kissed your forehead.

"I'm so sorry Minnie. I should've been there for you. Im so sorry you had to go through that without me". You looked up whipping the tears from your eyes and responded

"Im sorry too Mickey, I should have let you be there for me. I should've been there for you too" you used your finger to trace a pattern in his chest.

"Shiiit we both here now if you wanna continue get some more shit off ya chest" he said pulling you to arms length.

"I'd like that"

"if you like it I love it baby. I'll be right back imma get some blankets"

You watched his tall frame jog back to where you stood and set down two blankets. He plopped down with a grunt before summoning you to sit next to him. once you were near him he sat you between his legs kissing your cheek.

"Now lay it on me girl" he spoke opening the pandoras box of emotions you were holding back for so long.

He was still willing to lend you a helping hand, shoulder to cry on, and an ear to vent to. You could always count on him, he would always be a holla away.

@nyneebey @lady-love-and-glitter-roses @autumn242 @royallyprincesslilly @lalapalooza718 @wakandawinning @brianabreeze @noontownstudio @airis-paris14 @dramaqueenamby @kumkaniudaku @wonderwoman292 @jokerslittlemunster

#chadwick x reader #chadwick boseman fan fiction #chadwick boseman fanfic #chadwick boseman fanfiction #black panther fan fiction #black panther fanfiction #chadwick boseman oneshot #Chadwick Boseman imagine

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panticwritten · 6 years

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Pearl-Handled Shotgun: Chapter One

Yeah. I have no posting schedule for this haha. We’ll just see how it goes.

Prologue

Word count: 2978

TW:

Emotional warfare (of the controlling parent kind)

Hardcore dissociation

Reference to police brutality

Alyssa

“You’re lucky we could keep it out of the newspapers.”

Alyssa doesn’t look at her father, drumming her nails against the arm of the chair. Her mom watches from a chair behind him, her disapproval clear in the curve of her brow, the thin line of her mouth. The teen turns her head so she doesn’t have to see either of them.

“That man could have pressed charges. Do you think he would have gone after your little friends?” She bristles at the sneer in his voice, but she keeps her mouth shut. “You have a promising future ahead of you, I won’t stand by and watch you throw that away.”

She nods idly, the bare minimum of what he wants from her.

“I don’t know where this is coming from, your lashing out. Your brother never did anything like this.”

Ah, there it is. Calim, the perfect son. The good one. The easy one.

“He just never got caught,” she mutters.

“What was that?”

She looks up, at the familiar anger in her father’s eyes. He cocks an eyebrow up, expectant. She sighs and shakes her head. “Nothing. I’m sorry.”

He stares at her, his gaze hard, before returning to pacing to and fro in front of the fireplace. “What else have you been doing behind our backs? It isn’t safe, and it certainly isn’t acceptable.”

“Last night was an accident,” Alyssa says before she can hold the words back. “We took a wrong turn.”

He stills, burning eyes back on her. “You shouldn’t have been out at all last night!”

“I already apologized for that.”

“You can’t really think a petty ‘sorry’ will make up for breaking our trust? For sneaking out, so you could—what? Run around the city with a group of delinquents?”

She straightens up, scrabbling to hold onto her unruffled air. “Delinquents?”

“They’re a bad influence.”

“They are not!” Shoulders squared, Alyssa’s practiced placidity ruptures at his ‘holier than thou’ stance. “Stephanie and Jared are good friends, and they don’t treat me like a glass doll or a- a- a piece of advertising!”

“Alyssa, dear, please don’t yell,” her mom warns, her voice soft. It diffuses the immediate tension in the air. Her father says nothing. The coolness in his eyes, however, tells her the damage has already been done. Alyssa clears her throat and continues with more restraint.

“I apologize, sincerely, for what happened. I should have been honest with you.” She pauses, heartened when her father jerks his head in a nod. “It wasn’t the first time I left without permission, and it was unfair of me keep you in the dark.”

“How many times?”

“What?”

“How many times have you snuck out?” he asks. His deceptively level voice spreads anxiety through her chest, thick and sticky in her throat. She swallows it down and makes a mental tally.

“Twelve?” She offers. It’s not counting the days she used shopping trips as cover for driving the roads on the eastern edges of Portland with her friends, but she doesn’t tell him that.

He considers this thoughtfully, as if deciding whether he’ll have honey or jam on his toast. Alyssa sees it in his eyes when he comes to a conclusion, one fist coming down on his open palm.

“Then we’ll discuss this again in twelve weeks.”

Her heart constricts in her chest, driving her to her feet. She manages to keep her mouth shut, but that’s not enough. It’s never enough. He raises a brow, unimpressed, and starts for the family room door.

“You won’t leave the manor unattended until then. You have ten minutes to tell your friends before I collect your devices.” He pauses at the door, looking back with a painfully detached expression. “Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir,” she says automatically, unable to suppress the reflex.

The door closes behind him, with hardly a whisper. She stares unseeing at the polished surface, almost wishing he had slammed it. She lowers herself back into the chair, wiping the back of a hand over her eyes before the pinch behind them can turn into tears.

If he can keep ahold of his temper, so can she.

“It could have been worse.” Alyssa jolts violently when her mom speaks. She had almost forgotten she was here.

“I know.” She doesn’t look over, dragging her phone out of her pocket. Steph and Jared will lose their minds if she just disappears for three months, especially after her father left them in jail for the night.

“You could have been killed,” she continues, voice low. Alyssa freezes, her fingers hovering over the screen. “ Just because we are who we are doesn’t mean it’s safe to get into trouble. An officer won’t think twice before they pull that trigger.”

Alyssa nods, looking up. Without her father here as a distraction, she now sees what she didn’t before in her mom’s furrowed brow, pressed lips. Fear, not disappointment. Regret pangs in her chest. “I know, mom. I swear we weren’t trying to do anything illegal.”

“That doesn’t matter.” She rises from her chair, full of grace as always, and offers her daughter a strained smile. “You need to be careful. Smarter. I’ll try to talk your father down, but I do agree that you need time to think about what happened last night.”

She nods again, and her mom starts for the door.

“I’m sorry for scaring you.”

She doesn’t answer, closing the door silently behind her. Alyssa sighs, sinking deeper into the back of the chair, and pulls up a group chat.

A<-- Hey.

A<-- I am SO sorry about my father, I can’t believe he just left you there.

A<-- I hope you both are okay. At the very least, that you’re home safe.

A<-- I can’t leave the house on my own for a few months, and he’ll be back for my phone any minute now.

She watches the screen with bated breath. After a moment, both of their icons appear beside the messages. Before she can register her relief, Steph responds.

S--> hey!

S--> i was starting to rly worry

S--> mom picked us up right after u left

A<-- Oh, thank god.

J--> a few months

J--> what the hell

J--> my dad took my keys but like

J--> just for a two weeks

S--> im grounded for a month :(

A<-- We’ve talked about my parents before. Are you really surprised?

J--> nah i guess not

J--> but thats hella rough

J--> someone needs to take some parenting classes

S--> im sorry aly

J--> how to be a good dad and not alienate your children or whatever

J--> oh shit yeah we kinda did get you in trouble huh

A<-- It’s not your fault. My mom said she’ll try to change his mind, but I doubt that will do much good.

A<-- Besides, you both got in trouble, too. It’s as much my fault as it is yours.

J--> no man dont say that

J--> youd never been camping thats a fucking crime

J--> i mean shooting at teenagers for pitching a damn tent should be a crime but thats a whole other thing

S--> jj

S--> not funny

A<-- He’s right, though.

J--> hell yeah drinking down this validation

J--> glug glug motherfucker

S--> stop

S--> ur ok tho?

S--> like should we worry?

Her phone slips through her fingers, pulled away by nimble hands, before she can answer. She hadn’t noticed her father come back in, and he leaves again without otherwise acknowledging her. She watches him go without a word.

Arguing more would make it worse. She’s lucky to have gotten ten minutes.

Now that she’s alone with nothing to do, she hefts herself upright. She stares at the embers glowing in the fireplace, considering what to do for the rest of the day. She has schoolwork due on Monday. She needs to decide within the month between Oxford—her father’s alma mater—or the local university her friends already enrolled in.

PSU sounds more fun. She wouldn’t like to think of the repercussions that may come out of that decision, though. Her parents don’t even know she applied.

She shakes her head and strides out of the room. Her feet take her along the familiar path upstairs to her study while she broods about three months without the promise of a night out on the town or a day flying along back roads in Jared’s convertible. By the time the bars are lifted, she’ll have graduated.

And she’ll have a month with them before her inevitable shipment off to Oxford.

She slams the door much harder than intended at the thought. She’s visited the campus a few times, walked through the city, and something about it leaves her uneasy. It’s beautiful, certainly, but it feels wrong.

She leans back against the door with a sigh, peering at the stack of books on her desk. The last thing she needs is for her grades to slip. She’s on thin ice as it is.

Her gaze drifts to the shelves lining the back of the room. They hold the books she’s sequestered from the library, or those that have been gifted to her.

She crosses to the closest shelf, running a finger along the books’ spines. Many of them, she still hasn’t read. She hasn’t had time to read since her parents began taking her to functions and benefits.

She dips a finger over the lip of the first in a series of old tomes wrapped in leather, one of her mom’s gifts to her this past Christmas, and drags it out. The first seems more weathered than the rest, the cover dull and rough rather than polished. She skimmed the first few pages when she first got the books, and she know there must have been effort put into it. The whole series is handwritten.

It’s as good as anything else.

She takes the book to her desk, promising herself that she’ll only read for a while. She has to get some work done before dinner, after all.

*****

“Alyssa? Are you in there?”

Alyssa jumps at the crackle of the intercom, heart racing and unseeing eyes leaving the yellowed pages of the book. It takes a few seconds to orient herself, remembering where she is. When she does, she recoils at the headache pounding behind her eyes, the roiling tension in her stomach.

She glances back down at the book to find it open near the middle. She can’t remember reading more than the first few pages—it was written as a personal diary of a slave girl named Brietta. She wrote in a neat script about mundane chores and city life, but she can’t remember the details of the anecdotes. She closes her eyes to try and remember.

Her stomach turns over when she catches a wisp of it, but it doesn’t stay long enough for her to grasp the memory itself.

“Alyssa!”

She jolts again, her eyes flying open. She rushes from her seat to the intercom and presses the flashing button for the dining room.

“Yes, mom, I’m here. What is it?”

“Come down for dinner, dear. I hope you haven’t been working too hard.”

She hesitates before answering, looking back to the book. It must have been hours since she holed myself up in there. She doesn’t remember any of it. She shakes her head and taps the button again.

“I’m fine. I’ll be down in a minute.”

She returns to the desk, ignoring her mother’s confirmation, and turns back to the first couple pages of the book. She finds the mention of ‘afternoons near the cold river after tending to mother’s sickness,’ jams one of many bookmarks upon the desk between the pages, and snaps the book shut.

She leaves it on the desk for later investigation, hurrying out to join her family in the dining room. Maybe some food will ease her lingering nausea.

By the time she enters the dining room on the ground floor, both of her parents are already perched in their seats at the far end of the table. Her mom greets her with a warm smile, her father with a nod from the end chair.

She apologizes for being late and takes a seat across from her mom. The air lays heavy upon the room, increasing the pressure behind her eyes. Even the light viola drifting from the wall speakers can’t break the tension growing with each overdone slice of a knife her father grinds on his plate through the steak.

She struggles to keep from screwing her eyes shut against it, forcing her hands into measured strokes. One bite at a time, then this will be over.

“So.”

It’s her mom that breaks the silence. All sounds of eating pause for only a moment, the rhythm of the meal changing, before continuing as though it never stopped.

“It’s gotten warm awfully fast this year, hasn’t it? Just last week it was freezing.”

“And now we’re in the upper seventies,” her father agrees.

Alyssa manages hold back a physical sigh of relief, bringing a stalk of asparagus to her lips. Her parents chat about the weather, and she keeps her head down—metaphorically speaking.

“How was your afternoon, Alyssa?” her mom asks, bright eyes on her. She lowers a slice of steak back to her plate and clears her throat with a brief glance at her father.

“Uneventful. How was yours, mother?”

She inclines her head, a conspiratorial smile playing on her lips. “Absolutely boring. My husband and daughter were hidden away in their studies all day.”

She laughs before Alyssa can feel guilty. She reaches across the table and brushes her fingers over the back of Alyssa’s hand, forgiveness promised in her eyes.

“Hidden away?” her father remarks. His words flow warmly, a rare grin directed at his wife. “My door is always open to you, Carmen.”

“And watch you approve paperwork all day? No thank you, sir!”

Alyssa can’t help but smile at the exchange.

“And you? You were upstairs for quite a while.”

The sharp change in her father’s tone straightens her spine, and her my expression morphs back into one of bland interest as she turns to meet his eyes. The sudden movement jolts her headache, and she isn’t able to hide all of her wince behind her clenched jaw.

“I was catching up on some reading for class,” she lies smoothly.

“I see.” He nods and leans forward in his chair. “You don’t look well.”

She hesitates, unwilling to admit the truth. She can’t imagine her father’s reaction to her losing several hours of time would be good, so she waits for the jammed cogs in her brain to churn out a suitable response.

“It’s just a headache,” she promises after a long pause, ignoring the way her stomach somersaults as she speaks. “Eye-strain, maybe. I was reading for several hours.”

“You shouldn’t work so hard.” Her mom’s serene interjection prompts her father to return his attention to his plate.

“I lost track of time.” Alyssa offers her a smile. She mirrors it, then turns back to her husband to discuss their upcoming trip to the capital.

Alyssa wastes no more time clearing her plate and asking to be excused. Her mom tells her to take an ibuprofen from her purse in the front hall, which she does on her way back upstairs.

Back on the third floor, she pauses at the door to her study. Just a few steps down the hall, her bedroom waits. Her bed waits, and the pounding behind her eyes feels like reason enough to take an early night.

With a sigh, still, she jerk the door open. She left the lights on, and the glare shining from the glossy cover of a textbook almost turns her back around. She stubbornly crosses the room and takes a seat at her desk.

The leather book waits for her, and she nearly flips it back open on impulse. She glances over at the stack of texts to her right, the slip of paper poking out of the first with a list of tasks.

She lifts the book, the rough cover feeling familiar under her fingertips. The cover doesn’t bear a title or an author, just the letters B.O.F. embossed across the front. She runs a finger over the initials, then the edge of the cover.

The trailing string on the bookmark knocks a pen from the desk, and she straightens up. Within moments, the book is hidden away in the desk drawer. She can read it later, when she’s gotten some work done.

Her work is much harder to get through than she may have hoped. Her headache slowly fades, but she can’t concentrate. Her thoughts keep circling back to Oxford, her friends, and the look on her mother’s face when they spoke in the family room.

That woman has been through enough.

She drops her pen on the desk and groans, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes. She’s been reading the same line over and over for the past—she can’t even see how long it’s been because she doesn’t have her phone!

You don’t need to know the time when you’re working. You’re done when the work is done.

She shakes her head in her hands, banishing her father’s words into the ether. He’s taken enough energy from her today.

It’s not fair.

She rises from the chair, every movement sticky and slow. Flicking the desk lamp off, she pads to the door, covering a yawn with the back of a hand. She only made it through two of the six readings due, and she still hasn’t touched the worksheets, but she has all of Sunday to get them done.

She barely registers the walk down the hall to her room. She doesn’t bother turning the lights on, merely kicking her shoes off on the way to the bed and falling face first onto the pillow. Her father will likely have words with her if he catches her sleeping in her clothes, but she doesn’t care.

#supernatural fic #oc/oc fic #my writing #pearl handled shotgun #alyssa showman #there he is #my boy jared strife #aka knock off dave strider #oh damn this means i have to make a character page for her too huh #FUCK #i should do one for stephanie and jared too but ehhhhh #we'll see

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shanmarie2129 · 5 years

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I do not preach often. I do not offend easily. I have a big mouth and my opinions are strong but most of the time I keep the strong female ideals to myself. My opinions and feelings on those topics tend to surprise people and are not always what my “loved ones” expect. Where as this is neither here nor there for me I do not like to use the little time that I spend with these people justifying or arguing or even discussing such intense issues. In fact before social media I rather enjoyed not knowing most people’s opinions on such heavy topics. There isn’t much that gets me riled up. I tend to be able to ignore people’s uneducated opinions and comments for the most part but this has had my mind occupied for the past few days and I just can seem to shake it. I went and got my hair done last week and was able to not only get some time to myself but also got to spend some time with some amazing ladies. We shared some gut wrenching laughs and some rather emotional conversation. As most know I had a baby a month ago. A beautiful girl. It was a beautiful surprise to be pregnant again. The pregnancy was tough. The labor was tough and the recovery was toughest. In discussing my ups and downs we were amused by some of the bizarre questions and behaviors people show to pregnant women. Let’s start with the most common and yet most invasive.

Touching the belly. Now I’ve been lucky. I only recall one uncomfortable belly touch and it was in my first pregnancy. I work behind a bar and I have for almost twenty years. I am protected from human touch more often than not due to my career. So when it happened I think my reaction said it all. Between jumping a mile out of my skin and my facial expression I made it quite apparent that I don’t want to be touched ever, pregnant or not, without some serious warning and we better have drank out of the same cup or have gone to the bathroom together if I’m allowing you to touch me. It always caught me off guard a little when anyone would touch my belly especially a strange women, even more a strange man!! Hands to home!

Then there are the questions. Why in this day in age with all the knowledge that we have about the struggles to conceive a child or the surge of female independance in a world of choice do we ask all these damn invasive questions.

“Oh you just got married?, when are you having a baby? Are you pregnant yet? When are you gonna get pregnant?”

Or if you’ve had a baby....

“When is number two on the way? Are you gonna have any more? How many babies will you be having?!”

Listen Helen! What is my last name?! Shit what is my first name? When did you lose your virginity? Are you still menstrating? Can you imagine if I asked if a stranger was menstrating? Working with the public these questions have come up often. I have learned that most people aren’t doing it to be rude or inappropriate. People are just simply irresponsible with their questions and most people lack total self awareness. I have gotten these questions often enough where I have learned how to deal with them.

Sometimes I’ll just be harshly honest.

“When are you having baby number two?”

“Not sure Helen, wasn’t supposed to be able to have the first one!”

That one shuts people down quick. Like what does that mean? Did the government deam her not fit to have children? Did her ovaries roll across the playground in grade school never to be found? Did she have a child once but returned it after 90 days because she wasn’t completely satisfied? I have usually only responded in this manner to people who I considered to be comfortable learning more and whom I’m comfortable with or to someone so uncomfortable I knew it would stop there. Sometimes in the midst of a large crowd when this question would appear, and you’d be surprised how many times it has while I’m four deep (at the bar), I just yell

“I have a thin uterus George!”

That shuts the crowd up, but also gives me an extra 15 seconds to grab some tips off the bar or take another order.

Now my personal favorite is a guarantee shut down. People will go silent. “Congratulations on your nuptials. When are you going to get pregnant?!”

“Well, that’s in the Lord’s hands.”

And just walk away.

Leaves people speechless everytime. You see for whatever reason nobody wants to talk about religion these days. People want to talk about everything. Abortion, sexual assault, even my thin uterus. But for whatever reason religion shuts them up. Even the religious ones. How come? Maybe because they don’t want to crush two dreams at once. Maybe because they don’t know anything about religion or they don’t want to know anymore about yours. Who cares you have ended the conversation.

Or how about this, which until last week I wasn’t aware was a thing people did.

You’re pregnant with your second child and someone asks what you’re having. You respond with; “Im having a boy.” “Congratulations, what do you already have?” “A boy.” “Ooo I’m so sorry.”

What?!! You’re sorry?! I said a boy Karen not the spawn of satan! Why are you apologizing? It is a baby. Where maybe I had a twinge of disappointment, in which in my case I didn’t, I am happy to have a happy healthy baby. Or maybe I did not want a girl. Maybe my dream was to have a house full of boys! My own NFL team perhaps. People are strange. They always want to know the name too. Sometimes I think just to make a face or criticize. I prefer to see the judgement on their faces after the baby is born. It is more uncomfortable for them. I could go on for days about the comments people make or the questions they ask. Most of them are out of kindness and curiosity. I know people aren’t trying to be malicious. Yet some of these questions are invasive.

You are having a csection....why, How long are you working, are you coming back to work? Did you gain this much weight the first time? Should you eat that? It goes on and on. But here is the one that got me the most angry. The reason for writing this.

I went home and told my husband about some of these conversations. He responds with this. Brace yourself. “

“A lot of people have asked me if you’re breastfeeding.”

“Really?!” “

“Yeah and it makes me a little uncomfortable.”

Um yeah!!! Why in gods name are people asking my husband if I’m breastfeeding? First off it makes me uncomfortable when certain people ask me. Why is it anyone’s business how I feed my child? You should only be concerned if I’m not feeding her. And why are you asking my husband. Person that doesn’t know me why are you asking? Are you planning on wet nursing for me to give me some relief? Are you going to purchase some of my favorite nipple cream? Are you even going to high give him if he responds the way you see fit? What a strange thing to ask. I feel like it’s being asked because there is no longer a tolerance for shaming breast feeders. That it is a right that we have and we as women will not tolerate being shamed for feeding our children the way nature intended. However I am not breastfeeding. We are formula feeding and we feel your judgement. In a world where feminism has taken over I feel shamed. It is my body and it is my right to feed my child as I want but gasp why are you not breastfeeding? You see it is ok to choose as a women as long as you choose the way they want you too. This isn’t all women. I know that. This is just my immediate most recent experience. And this happens all the time. With more heavy topics and I’m certainly not going there. But this is what I wish people were more aware of. Getting pregnant, being pregnant, not being pregnant, not wanting to be pregnant, breastfeeding, not breastfeeding, and after pregnant is hard for some people. A lot of people. It is personal. It is about strength and tears and challenges. It is about infertility, miscarriages, medications, injections, surgeries, hormones, medical issues, arguments, choices..scary choices. We struggled with infertility. We are now blessed to have two beautiful children. Two more than we thought we could have. Yes we could have looked into adoption. Many people ask that question to people struggling with infertility. We didn’t because my hormones were making me sick and adopting a child when i wasn’t able to care for that child at my best didn’t seem fair. We fixed my hormones and I got pregnant. I explain this only because people have the audacity to shame people for this too. That was our reasons other people have many more. But people do not consider those things before they ask. They assume they know the answers already. These immediate assumptions can be harsh. We have been lucky. Most people have steered clear of invasive judgements and questions to my face. I have thick skin though, not everyone does. Be careful. Be kind. In a world where everything is in our faces and everyone has an opinion it can be detrimental. Be kind. We cannot change the whole world but maybe we can change it at arms length. It’s ok to be curious just make sure your prepared to hear the answers.

Let me give a quick shoutout to the women and men who choose not to have children and should also never have to explain themselves!! That may be a whole different blog.

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Does car insurance pay sales taxes and destination charge if your brand new car gets damaged? If your brand new car gets damage totally. what does the insurance company pay for? How long after buying brand new car does the insurance consider it not new any more?

Citroen Saxo Insurance?

Hello, im a 17 year old currently learning to drive, once i have a Full UK driving license,think i would be able to get insured on a citreon saxo? As far as i know there are a few types of saxo's, the 1.1, the 1.4 furio, and the vtr 1.6 i think! Many people have told be they are classed as a boy racer car so the insurance will be high but surely if i buy a standard 1.1 or 1.4 saxo i will be able to get insured. What do you guys think? What saxo best for first car? Any other first cars recommened? How much round about do you think it will be to insure? Thanks""

How much is full coverage for auto insurance cost monthly usually ? ?

I was thinking about financing a 2000 nissan maxima but im not sure if its a good idea because of monthly car payments and car insurance plus if it breaks down idk what I would do. I just need to know how much is full coverage for auto insurance usually cost per month or is there something cheaper I can get other than full coverage.

Car accident with no insurance?

I hit a car in Alaska, no damage to the cars except a tiny tiny dent on the other car's back bumper that barely can be visible within 20 inches distance if a person keeps looking very good. I gave all my details to the other guy and I am legal in everything. he showed me an insurance on his phone that expired on May 2012. Because I did not pay attention, right now I just found out from the VIN # that the insurance is for a different car but in his name. So I am not sure if the car I hit was insured or not. Could I get him in trouble if he tries to abuse me later? For example if he tries to go to the hospital and cause me problems, or if he calls me wanting money, or having me fix his engines issues that I never caused, because that is what he said is going to do. If he gets insurance hours later, could that save him? or he still can be in trouble with the law?""

How can I save money on my car insurance?

I'm a young driver who's only just passed. Is it OK to put my Dad as the main driver when in reality I will be driving the car most of the time? I heard it's cheaper that way. Also I know Pass Plus can decrease it. Does putting it in a garage and having good security decrease it? What other things can I do to save - the cheapest quote so far I found is 1,600!""

""What is the best, cheapest car insurance I can have for a 28 year old female?""

What is the best, cheapest car insurance I can have for a 28 year old female?""

pennsylvania insurance alliance inc

What is the cheapest Insurance for a first time driver?

How auto insurance works in california?

i backed up into a car today and there is no damage to my car but a dent in the others hood, and i said lets call the police and they said lets just exchange information, i said no i'd rather have them come...they said they called when i was getting something in my car and said the police said they would take a while so we decided to exchange info...i got her license but they said they didnt have the insurance info with them....but in the mean time i gave them my info...now i have a feeling that maybe they didnt have insurance and there is no police report so what can happen now?""

Affordable car insurance company's?

I am currently with farmer's insurance but i feel they are too expensive so is there any company's that are cheaper and affordable rates?

Where can I get an insurance quote for my Toyota hilux?

GoCompare and other sites don't list it when I try to quote car insurance... Im in the uk

Whats the cheapest insurance company to go with?

Modified car insurance?

2000 mustang gt. Added cold air intake, exhaust kit, engine headers, aftermarket gps and backup cam, and aftermarket rims. Would an insurance company cover these?""

Can anyone recomend some cheap insurance companies for drives who have completed pass plus?

I'm 18, soon to be 19, and have been trying to get a quote on a 1998 vauxhall corsa, and the only 1 i got before was ridiculously high. I know it being an older model is going to make a difference, but does anyone know from personal experience or whatever which insurance companies offer decent insurance prices to young drives, who have completed the pass plus scheme? Thanks, much appreciated!""

Can employer force health insurance on me?

I currently have and paid for my own health insurance. I recently got a new job and was told that I had to elect to participate in one of my employer's health insurance plans. I politely told them that I had my own health insurance and wish to opt out of the employer's plan options. My employer told me I had to elect, participate, and pay. Can they make me do this?""

Short term car insurance (UK)?

I need to renew my car insurance policy soon but am going away in June for a year so cannot get a full years policy. My company has told me to take out a years policy then cancel it before i leave in June. Does anyone know of a UK insurance company that could give me a policy for just a few months to save me cancelling it later on. Thanks

How does car insurance work for a teenager?

I recently got my license but still do not drive due to the fact that my parents will not pay for insurance. They say it is too expensive but they also said the only way to make it affordable would be by getting me a car, which I seriously do not understand!! I don't want my own car I just want to be able to legally drive one so why would buying me a car and then insuring the car plus myself make it soo much cheaper than just already having me under their insurance and what not??? I just don't get it because once your insured you are able to drive any of the cars in the household so why buy another car just for me?? My parents aren't making sense and do not want to explain it to me. But we own luxury cars so could that be why they won't add me to the insurance? They are getting me a random, affordable used car which I don't mind but I would rather just be insured car or no car. Oh and they let me drive around all our luxury cars when I had my permit so idk why they are doing this to me.""

Car Insurance rates for a new driver.?

Hello so my question is what kind of apr would a driver around 19 or 20 get for a new car, i am looking at a Toyota Corolla, with no preexisting credit. I understand that I would need a cosigner and that is not an issue. I would just like to see what type of apr I should be expecting so I may save and plan accordingly. Thank You.""

What v8 is cheap on insurance for an 18 year old?

I'm an 18 year old guy on my parents' insurance and I have a 2003 Mitsubishi lancer that's probably not going to last me that long so I am looking for another car. I would like a v8 because I like the sound and I want descent performance but I don't want it to be too much on insurance. I was thinking about a Lincoln ls v8. Does anyone have any other ideas? Thanks.

""Got my first speeding ticket, will my insurance go up?

Im 20yrs old if that matters.. And this is only my first ticket. I was going 80mph on a 70mph. Will my insurance go up? If u know please tell me. I have state farm.

Car insurance help????????

Hello, I was rearended (not my fault) and I called my insurance companyt to let them know what happened. The car is insured and at the time of the incident was insured under my mother because I am under 21. Now two months later I am receiving a letter that I am being kicked out of my insurance unless my parents insure me. So what do I do in this situation. I find this situation very unfair because why do we need two people insured on one car? Can you offer any insight?""

What is a fixed indemnity health insurance plan?

i am looking at health insurance and have talked to someone about a fixed indemnity plan. Its all so confusing. Is this a bad risk?

What is cheapest 33bhp bike to insure?

Hi , I'm 16 and 17 soon and thinking of taking my A2 bike test which will restrict me to 33bhp i know i can buy a big bike and get it restricted but not all insurance companies cover that and the one's that do are rip off's. so does anybody know the cheapest 33bhp bike to insure, i would like it to be a 250cc or over because 125cc are to slow for motorway or modified till the insurance don't mean nothing. Thank you .""

Whats the cheapest place to get car insurance when you got 2 dui's over three years ago?

What's going to be the insurance for 2007 Ninja 250?

I am 19 years old, will be 20 in 2 months. I have a driving permit for a car, I'm planning to get a ninja 250 2007. I live in Arizona. How much is the full insurance going to be?""

""My husband and I are self employed.....We are shopping for health Insurance, what do recommend?""

We are looking for affordable health insurance, but I don't even know where to begin....If you are self employed, who is your provider and why?""

Need help wit chosing car insurance!!!?

I AM 19 AND I AM TRYING TO FIND CAR INSURANCE FOR MY VEHICLE IN THE STATE OF VA. I AM LOOKING FOR SOMETHING THAT IS CHEAP BUT HAS PRETTY GOOD COVERAGE. I AM ABOUT TO START SCHOOL IN THE FALL AND I PLAN TO COMMUNTE TO SCHOOL AND TO WORK. I AM A FEMALE AND I JUST GOT MY LICENSE.

Insurance (probability)?

An auto insurance company has 10,000 policy holders. Each policy holder is classified as.. - young or old - male or female - married or single Of these policyholders, 30000 are young, 4600 are male, and 7000 are married. the policyholders can also be classified as 1320 young males, 3010 married males, and 1400 young married persons. Finally, 600 of the policyholders are young married males. How many of the company's policyholders are young, female, and single?""

CAR INSURANCE? 17 YEAR OLD LAD?

Hi, I recently passed my driving test (approx 2 weeks ago) I've been looking at car insurance and the quotes are ridicouly high if I wanted to be the main driver with my own policy. So my dad has kindly said he will buy a car and be the main driver and I will be the second driver and drive the car sometimes. However the quotes are so high? Anyone know any companies that will insure me cheap below 2,000? The quotes that I get now are like 3,000+ on a standard Vauxhall Astra. Please can you let me know if you know any companies that will insure me and cheaply! Thanks.""

Car insurance?

i am currently insured and my policy expires on July 1st. I don't want my policy to renew so I called to tell them not to renew it. They said ok...and they wouldn't take out the June 1st payment. (I pay monthly). I just bought my new policy with a different company and I want that policy to start on June 31st. I made the down payment today but my next payment with that company isn't until July 31st. Basically I'm really confused....but there is probably some logical explanation. I'm not going to have any gap in coverage but I feel like I'm getting a free month of car insurance just because I switched companies.

Can I drive my mom's car without having insurance?

So I am 16 and don't have a learner's permit. My friend who is 19 has his license and has been using his mom's car for years. He keeps telling me to get my permit. My mom says it will double her insurance bill but he says his mom doesn't pay anything extra. Or he doesn't even have insurance. I don't know anything about this and legalities of everything so...lamest terms please.

Do you need car insurance to put a car under your name?

I have an used car, to switch the car to your name, and register it, do you need to have insurance?""

pennsylvania insurance alliance inc

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/insurance-price-larry-gilbert/"

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